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sundrop-writes · 5 months

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Sundrop's Rules

aka things to know before you send in a request

If you want to be tagged in any future fics I write, you can read about that here.

I have decided to go back to an old format for requests where technically - requests are open all the time. The only reason I will close requests (and if I do, it will be explicitly stated in my pinned post) will be because I am overwhelmed with the amount of requests that I have, or because I am taking a break from writing due to reasons in my personal life (which I sometimes do because of my chronic illness). But I prefer to keep requests open all the time, because it means that people can send in ideas that can inspire amazing fics.

In general, I love it when people send in ideas and discussion about the characters I love - even if its not in the form of a request. At any time, you can send me random thoughts and headcanons about the characters that I write for, and I am likely to respond to those asks with my own fanficy type thoughts, and often these are the type of things that inspire me to write - more so than sending in an actual request.

But if you want to send in a straight forward request, then below is all the information you need to know before you do so. (If you don't read all the information in this post first, then I am likely to amend your request into something you might not like, or I may just delete it altogether.)

Important notes: there are some dialogue prompts on this post that I am really excited about writing for, so if you are sending in a request, pay special attention to those. And while I primarily write for female reader characters, I also write for gender neutral reader characters and masc/male reader characters (and it's something I really enjoy doing).

Characters That I Write For:

Please note: I am not writing for Criminal Minds at this time, and Criminal Minds is the only fandom on my Main Masterlist that I am not accepting requests for.

With all the other fandoms and characters, you can send in requests at any time. But note - I will pay more attention to fandoms that I am particularly interested in (aka if I have recently written and released fics for those fandoms, if they are listed in my pinned as my current main interest, etc.). If you send me a request, even if I don't respond to it right away, I will keep it in my inbox for a long time and I may get to it later. I like to write things when I feel inspired to do so, and there is no time limit on this.

I am open to adding more characters to this list, so if your favourite character is not here, feel free to ask me if I am willing to write for them. All of the characters on this list are ones that I will write for as love interests - characters that I see through a sexual and romantic gaze. I am open to writing for other characters from these series platonically, so let me know if you would be interested in that list. (I will also write for these characters platonically, but I will assume that any requests for them are as romantic or sexual interests unless otherwise stated.)

DC Titans - Gar Logan, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Kory Anders, Donna Troy, Hank Hall, Dawn Granger, and Conner 'Kent' (with him, I prefer to write smutty topics with S4 Conner/Luthor!Conner, and I will write angst and fluff with any version of Conner).

(These next two are new additions and fandoms I would really love to get requests for.)

The Maze Runner - Newt, Thomas, Gally, Minho, Teresa, and Brenda.

Teen Wolf - Stiles Stilinski, Erica Reyes, Allison Argent, Lydia Martin, Isaac Lahey, Derek Hale, (maybe) Scott McCall, and (maybe) Jackson Whittemore.

The Walking Dead - Glenn Rhee, Maggie Greene/Rhee, Daryl Dixon, King Ezekiel, Jerry, Rosita Espinosa, Abraham Ford, Tara Chambler, Andrea Harrison, Michonne Hawthorne, and (maybe) Rick Grimes. (Important note: I do not write for Negan. He is a character I really dislike and I will not use him as a love interest in my fics.)

The Last Of Us - Ellie Williams and Abby Anderson.

Harry Potter - Harry James Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, and Draco Malfoy.

Stranger Things - Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers and Billy Hargrove.

Misc. Horror Characters - Mike Schmidt (Five Nights At Freddy's), Vanessa Shelly (Five Nights At Freddy's), Derek Cho (Mayhem), Bee (The Babysitter), Nick Jones (House of Wax), Carly Jones (House of Wax), Stu Macher (Scream).

General Rules and Guidelines:

Requests should be sent to the ask box on this blog. I don’t accept requests in DMs because it is too disorganized and difficult to keep track of them. Finished fics may be posted as separate posts, or they may be posted as a response to the ask. Also as a general note - requests are not guaranteed to be done - they are just used as inspiration for me. It is not a fanfiction ordering system, it’s a casual collaboration on concepts and ideas.

Every single one of my fics includes a reader character. I don’t do character x character fics. If you are making a request, I will assume that you want it to be an x reader fic even if you don’t mention that part in your requests. Also, I am going to assume that you want some kind of romantic or sexual element between the reader character and the canon character unless otherwise specified, because that is what all my fics are about. And if you don’t specify the gender of the reader character, I am most likely to write the reader character as a cis female. (Though lately I have been skewing more toward writing my fics as gender neutral by default, but it depends.) Also, I am very likely to include the term Y/N in my fics. (If you think that’s too cringe, run along. I grew up in a time where Y/N was sacred and cringe didn’t exist.)

Speaking of gender - in your request, please specify if you want the reader character to be female, male, or gender neutral. When I write gender neutral fics, even in smut, I do not describe the reader’s genitals or gender presentation in any way. So I don’t write ‘GN AFAB reader’ fics. If you want the reader to be described as having a vagina, that would be a fem reader in my fics.

Also typically, I don’t describe the reader character as having specific physical traits. I like my reader character to be as broad as possible to appeal to as many people as possible. (And because I don't like focusing on those physical traits while writing.) I don’t write a character that has a specific race, height, hair color, etc. but one exception I have to this rule is that I love writing fat/plus sized readers in my fics. I love spreading love for fat bodies, especially through fics - I love making people feel good about their fatness through the gaze of a fictional character. So definitely feel free to send in requests for a plus sized reader character, as it’s one of my favourite things to write.

For reference, I will also write about a reader character with autism or chronic illness (someone with chronic pain or a fainting disorder, or someone who uses a cane or a wheelchair), because these are groups that I am a part of and I know that they are not portrayed in fiction often enough. If you have any questions about these aspects, please feel free to send me an ask or a DM.

Also, if you do want to include in the request that the reader has certain non-physical traits, that’s okay - in fact, I encourage this. I love it when people include non-physical traits in their request because it helps to aid the plot along and it can differentiate the reader character from my other fics - and I love it when the reader character feels like a unique person in each of my fics. So feel free to thrown in things like describing the reader as being nerdy, outgoing, artsy, even being a single mother/parent or having certain superpowers where it might apply (like for a Titans fic), or having immunity from a Walker bite for a TWD fic.

I will accept requests for poly ships. I love writing for poly ships. (Character x Reader x Character.) I am a huge fan of requests like this - because I am in a poly relationship myself, I absolutely love writing for the dynamics of poly relationships. I love writing it with inserting a reader character into an already existing canon ship (like with Gleggie), or writing for two of my favourite characters who have a lot of chemistry together but were never romantic on screen (like with JayGar x Reader) - and I will even add characters to the above list just to put them in a poly relationship (like with Ellie x Reader x Dina). But please keep in mind, I will only write for three characters in a poly relationship, including the reader character. (With some small exceptions that you would have to ask me about.)

I will write smut, angst, or fluff, but I mostly prefer writing smut or angst. When requesting smut (or smutty themed things), please specify if you want the characters to be dominant or submissive. In your request, write ‘sub!reader’ or ‘dom!reader’, something to denote the dynamics to let me know what you want it to be. I am a big fan of writing submissive men, so I won’t shy away from things like that - but I will write any dynamic as long as it’s properly communicated to me.

Also keep in mind - I will write 100% heartbreaking whump. I love writing heartbreaking fics with no happy ending - you just have to prompt me to do so. I will write for a lot of dark topics and different kinks. In general, the list of things that I won’t write is a lot shorter than the list of things that I will. So if you’re wondering if I’m okay with a request or not, just ask.

For reference, my big ‘nos’ are: virgin!reader fics, or fics where the reader is sexually inexperienced or portrayed as innocent. I am okay with doing a ‘faux’ innocent reader (someone who is only pretending to be innocent), and I am also okay with writing about a canon character being a virgin and having their first sexual experience with the reader. (That’s something I love writing about, actually.) I am okay with writing about sexual coercion, sexual blackmail, or dubcon. (Or even noncon or cnc, under certain circumstances.)

Also, I am okay with writing age gaps or age gap kink, but typically unless otherwise stated, I always aim to write a reader character who is around the same age as the canon character and acts mature in my fics. I will always write someone sexually autonomous and lustful, not a clueless virgin.

Also, I don’t write fics about miscarriages, safeword use, or extreme choking kink. And while I don’t write about miscarriage, I am okay with writing about pregnancy - it’s something I enjoy writing about, actually. I also enjoy writing parenting fics and family fics with children.

Below, I have listed some prompts for you, in case you need some ideas for your request. (In fact, I encourage you to use these prompts because I love them.) You don’t have to use these prompts, these are just ideas of the kind of requests I like or ideas you can use if you want to see me write for these characters but don’t know what to send in! You can definitely make up your own prompts/ideas similarly to these if you want to.

Dialogue Prompts

I really love all these prompts and I want to write for them - if you send one in, I may write a short blurb attached to the ask for the request, or I may write a longer, more detailed oneshot if I feel inspired to do so. Please only send in one dialogue prompt per request. (Note: the ‘bonus’ part still counts as one prompt, it is just the other half of the conversation/exchange.)

“Who did this to you?”

“You died. You should be dead.” (Bonus: “Well, I’m not.”)

“Can you run that by me again?”

“You know, if you weren’t so annoying, you might actually be hot.”

“Could you just listen to me for once?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Oh, fuck.”

“Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Oh. Oh.”

“Is that blood?” (Bonus: “It’s not mine.”)

“No, shut up. Stop talking like that. You’re gonna be fine.”

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

“Why would you do something that stupid?” “Because I’m in love with you.”

“I think I might be pregnant.”

“Oh, great. It’s you again.”

“Is that a bite?”

“Oh my god. You’re here.”

“I’ll never forgive you for this.”

“Why don’t you just let me help you?”

“I am done waiting for you.”

“I’m in love with you, dumbass.”

“Please, just let me take care of you.”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“I’ll kill all of them.”

“I can keep you safe.”

“You’re lucky it was just a scratch.”

“So you aren’t heartless after all?”

“I had it under control. You didn’t need to do that.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“I thought I lost you.”

“You’re being really nice.” (Bonus: “Yeah, are you surprised?”)

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“You know, I was wrong about you.”

“How about a goodnight kiss?”

Smut Prompts/Ideas

(This kind of devolves into a list of kinks toward the end, but it will show you what I am comfortable with writing and give you an idea of the things I like to write.)

The Canon Character is a Virgin (ex: Virgin!Jason Todd, Virgin!Glenn Rhee, etc.)

Caught Masturbating (could be the reader walking in on the canon character, or reversed)

Accidentally Sending Nudes (I won't do this one for canons where they don't have cellphones like TWD and TLOU, but I could alter it to an accidental discovery of naked photos)

Dirty Talk/Teasing

Training/Wrestling/Sparring That Turns Into Sex (I originally wrote this prompt for Titans, but I think it could work for other fandoms too)

Them Seeing You In A Slutty Outfit For The First Time (Alternatively: Them Seeing You Dressed Up For The First Time)

Late Night Semi-Public Sex - where they have to shove a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet (or the reverse)

Stuck and Fucked/Situational Bondage/Predicament Bondage

Sex Pollen (I don't think this would work for every fandom, but I will always try to work it in where I can because it's one of my favourite tropes ever)

Character A gifts Character B a Sex Toy (possibly after learning that they have little to no experience with sex toys or after some joking around about sex toys - but it turns into serious horniness)

Overstimulation

Breeding Kink

Dumbification Kink/Objectification Kink

Knife Kink or Blood Kink (or both?)

Daddy Kink or Mommy Kink (Canon Character's reaction to being called Mommy or Daddy for the first time, or them slipping up and calling you one of these titles in the heat of the moment)

(I am open to adding more onto this list, and these are just examples of things I enjoy writing about)

Angst Prompts/Ideas

(I can do any of these with a happy ending in order to fulfil a Hurt/Comfort prompt, and for the ones with death, we can just change it to 'near death'. I do really like writing Hurt/Comfort as well as Pure Angst.)

They Break Up With You To Keep You Away From Danger

Their Reaction To You Breaking Up With Them

You Die In Their Arms (or the reverse)

Specifically for The Walking Dead or The Last Of Us - Their Reaction To You Being Bitten By A Zombie (and your last moments together)

Their Reaction When You Are Killed By An Enemy

One Of You Has Been Brainwashed Or Drugged And Hurts The Other Person Or Completely Forgets The Other Person

They Sacrifice Their Life To Save You

They Save You From A Near Death Experience (or the reverse)

They Find Out That You Are Alive After Thinking That You Died

Being Reunited After Years, But You Didn't Part On Good Terms

Unrequited Love (they see you with someone else, they think you'll never love them back, etc.)

Fluff Prompts/Ideas

(I don't have as many ideas for these because I am bad at writing pure fluff fics lmao.)

Canon Character Finds Out That You Are Pregnant (could be with their child, but I could also do this prompt with a female love interest)

Canon Character Gifts You A Dog Or A Cat

Meet Cute - showing how you and the Canon Character met; running into each other at a coffee shop, a moment from the canon, etc. something showing your general first impressions of each other

Spending Your Birthday With The Canon Character - showing what they would do for your birthday

The Canon Character Proposing To You

I also want to do more MLTs, Reactions, and Headcanons. These are shorter formats of fics that are easier to complete faster, so definitely send in some requests for these!

To clarify:

MLTS - ‘Most Likely To’s aka a short description explaining which character of the group (or two, or three characters) would be ‘most likely’ to do something or enjoy something. This could be exploring their potential enjoyment of a kink or how they would behave on a date, how they would be as a romantic partner. It can be anything you want, get creative.

Reactions - 'how would they react to…’ aka a short description explaining how the characters (two or three, you can choose) would react to a certain situation. (If you want this format done with the whole group at once, it will likely be much shorter.)

Headcanons - a collection of bullet points that creates a shorter, quicker, more efficient style of fic by taking the reader through a tour of ideas, the character’s reactions and thoughts in a shorter format. (These are like full fics, but can usually be done faster.)

(If you need some inspiration, examples of prompts will be below.)

Prompts for MLTs:

Most likely to seek revenge if you were harmed by an enemy (or if you were killed by an enemy)

Mostly likely to have a breeding kink

Most likely to enjoy PDA

Most likely to want kids in a relationship

Prompts for Reactions:

How would they react to an unexpected pregnancy?

How would they react to seeing you naked for the first time? (Or seeing you naked by accident?)

How would they react if someone insulted you in front of them?

How would the group react to finding out that you have been hurt? (Note: you can mention who you want the love interest to be and who you want to be platonic in this case)

How would they react to seeing you alive after believing you had died?

How would they react to you saying ‘I love you’ for the first time?

How would they react to finding out that you have been bitten?

Prompts for Headcanons:

Headcanons for how the two of you met - What was their first impression of you? How long did you know each other before things became romantic?

Sex headcanons (how is this character in bed, what are their kinks, etc.)

Headcanons of tropes (ex: enemies to lovers with Daryl, childhood friends to lovers with Maggie, There Was Only One Bed with Tara, etc.)

So now that you have read all that, if you would like to send in a request, you can send in one to my ask box: here!

#sundrop speaks #important #requests

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isolaradiale · 1 year

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Policy Update 8/07/2023

Hello everyone!

While this isn't a huge update like our most recent one, we nevertheless felt the need to touch base with you all with a few reminders, a few updates, and a couple new rules that we believe will overall benefit the community at large. As usual, please feel free to send a message to the masterlist with any questions or concerns you may have! Our door is always open and communication is key!

GENERAL REMINDERS

We ask that blogs belonging to members and non-members alike not follow the masterlist, interact with other blogs, like our monthly follow post, or like rp ads of blogs that have already been accepted into the group if your application has not been officially processed and accepted through the masterlist. What this means is that if your blog has not been accepted, and you intend to apply, you cannot interact with any posts from our members, our follow post, any rp ads, or follow any member blogs.

We've made small amendments to our application in the form of adjusting our questions pertaining to age and the willingness to interact with muns of a specific age group to all be grouped into one section. We've also elaborated a bit more on how many sentences we'd like as a minimum for our short character about and personality section as we've noticed that we've had to send back more than a few applications for not meeting those requirements. We hope that it will help people better understand!

The 'isola mini' tag is not for personal starters to be posted in, you do not need to tag a starter made for a specific character with 'isola mini'. The tag is used for open starters that anyone may reply to, not just one person.

The 'isola mini' tag should be used for short, quick, open posts below a 300-word count ideally. Anything more than 300 words should be tagged with 'isola open'. We realize that newer members (and perhaps some old) may not be aware or have perhaps forgotten, but we do have a list of tags on our blog that can be used to tag various posts. We ask that you take a look and familiarize yourself with them so that they can receive better and proper usage!

For members (potential and currently part of the group) that would like to apply for a fandom OC, we'd like to remind you that you cannot just send in a regular application for them and that we do require you to submit a form (that is linked on our rules page as well) if you'd like to apply to have them be able to join the group. Once said form is sent in, please allow us a maximum of two weeks to discuss whether or not we'd like elaborations or subtle changes (usually regarding abilities).

For members who have custom themes that use symbols for navigation, we ask that you make a plain text navigation page for easier access to your application, statistics, and other pages that are important for your blog. You may utilize a pinned post for linking your plain text or you may simply have a navigation link that directs to a page in your sidebar, whichever is easiest for you! The reasoning behind this is that we've received a few concerns from members who have a hard time navigating certain themes and even as moderators we find ourselves having trouble finding the links to certain pages on a member's blog if they are not clearly definable. We'd like for all of our members' blogs to be accessible, so we feel that this is the best compromise.

When requesting for a character to move to different housing, we'd like to remind members that there is an official form to do so on our AskTheGalaxy blog. If you do not use the form, then we will not process your request. Additionally, a character may not move to another's personal housing if they have not been in the group for 30 days and achieved dwarf rank. This is stated on the moving form as well.

We ask that members please be considerate regarding meta-knowledge, otherwise known as knowledge your character would not know about other characters. We've received a few concerns regarding such knowledge being used without a castmate's consent and we'd like to ask you all to be considerate and ask yourself the important question of whether or not your character would know important things regarding a character's secret identity, their powers, or secrets they haven't shared with anyone if it isn't open knowledge. This also goes into things involving the city of Spirale itself and not just canon unless written out or talked about with the other person. Abusing meta-knowledge multiple times after being told to stop can and will result in a warning if we're approached about it, so we're asking everyone to be mindful of what they have their characters share about other people from now on!

REGARDING HOUSING...

We recently received an inquiry about whether or not it was possible to have a home that's able to move around, in the same vein as a certain moving castle that we all may or may not be familiar with...and after some deliberation, we've decided that we'll allow those who'd like to are allowed to create personal housing like that. Though not as grandiose or large in nature or structure, as we'd like to be reasonable.

Additionally, we haven't been exactly clear on which of our wards allows personal housing in general. To remedy this, we'll be listing below which wards are able to accommodate personal housing, along with which are able to accommodate a moving structure. This will also be added to our housing form on the AskTheGalaxy blog.

WARDS AND BRANCHES THAT ALLOW STATIONARY PERSONAL HOUSING:

Fibonacci Ward

Cotes Fantasci Ward

Golden Ward

Archimedes Ward

The Mistwood

The Swirling Gulf

The City of Glass

Sunset Circuit

Sky-Strewn Isles

The Echo

The Land of Burnt Umber

Selene Space Station

WARDS AND BRANCHES THAT ALLOW PERSONAL HOUSING THAT MOVES:

The Mistwood

The Swirling Gulf

The City of Glass

Sunset Circuit

Sky-Strewn Isles

The Echo

The Land of Burnt Umber

We've created a form on the AskTheGalaxy blog that allows you to request personal housing that moves specifically as due to the nature of having housing that isn't stationary, we require members to be more specific about what they'd like and if it would work in the branch they'd like to move to. Any housing that we deem too large (like a castle) may be denied and under no circumstance will we ever allow a moving home to have an arsenal of weapons on its exterior. Please understand that we reserve the right to forbid any ideas we deem not suitable.

#modnote #policy update

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inkedmyths · 1 year

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S2: E4 "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"

Brought to you by I FINISHED THE QUARTER I'M ALIVE THANK GOD

This episode featuring: Don't cry and drive, interrogating the grieving, stupid men making bad decisions, and lessons that I'm SURE will be taken to heart

Ohhh this chick having a breakup or a death or something and this guy gets her alcohol and chocolate and emo rock. Thats so nice

Whshsgsg did she climb out the window

DONT TEXT AND DRIVE

Or call and drive and yeaaaah thats what I thought

[ Kayla inquires about this, and I amend it to being a sobbing mess while at the wheel. Kayla then goes on a continuous tangent about how much she's cried while driving. Friends, if you're reading this, please be aware that Kayla is not a model for any behavior you should be exhibiting. ]

Oh their dad's necklace on their mom's grave. Ah :(

Ohhh its a dead tree so spooky. What are you looking at Dean

Ooookay the dead grass circle is actually spooky. Uh?

Sam neither you or Dean are doing any kind of coping

[ Kayla says that if they were, we wouldn't have a show. ]

NOOOO GOD NOT THE HARASSING PEOPLE WHO JUST HAD SOMEBODY DIE

I get its for the job but :(

GOD THIS POOR DUDE IS LIKE. HES SO SO SAD BC HIS DAUGHTER DIED and then Dean's like "Yeah yeah so do you ever feel like she's still ~present~ orrrr" and Sam's clearly glaring at him to STFU

Traumedy at its finest

[ Theres some discussion now on Dean and how he handles things, due to how he was raised and his position as the Older Brother. Basically, he handles things badly, for a variety of fucked up reasons. This isn't news. ]

Sam is, in this case, right. But Dean is going to continue repressing!

Oh hey is this the best friend guy?

Or the bf?

OH THAT PLANT JUST DIED

Boi you're so dead

Ohhh spooky reflection

Oh he deeaaaad shooocker

Dean. What are you doing.

IDIOT

Dean has now ended up with a sad crying girl and he's sitting there with the clear expression of someone SO not equipped with what's happening

This is why you don't break and enter. You end up being faced with emotions.

Dean being such a brat but when is he not

COLLEGE EMPLOYED GRIEF COUNCILORS

Every new thing they impersonate is funnier than the last

Except maybe the priests. Idk if anything will top that

[ Kayla says it will. I am delighted by this. ]

Ok I was right the guy was her bf and was cheating

Grave digging. Of course. I get it but also Why

[ Kayla says something in spoiler text, and Aspen says to stop posting easy to click spoilers. Kayla says to stop clicking the spoilers. How do you think I feel? You people will have paragraphs of spoiler discussion. Right in front of my salad. ]

EMPTY COFFIN??

Oh shit there she is

I mean. Ok. Make out with a dead girl. Yeah. I mean I guess I would assume I'm dreaming but also man doesn't that raise any red flags my dude.

Also Sam yelling at Dean so true

Zombie??

Dude? Red flags?

OHHH

OHHHHHH THIS MOTHERFUCKER

I seeeeeeeee I seeeeeeee

He resurrected her bc he wanted her back

[ Kayla and Melon discuss the existence of zombies in SPN. I mostly ignore it. ]

Ohhhh oh the roommate

Uh oh girl!!

UH OH GIIIIRL

Ohhh thats scary as shit but epic

"Damn that dead chick can run"

[ Melon asks if I'm going to watch another episode, even though I'm in the middle of this one. Heathen. ]

[ Mom then interrupts to try and get me to try some foundation. I protest. Kayla says the phrase "dolled up for Dean", and Melon follows it up with "dressed up for daddy", and I immediately begin planning on ways to send them both to an early grave. Why am I friends with these people. ]

WHATS IN THE BAG BITCH

Ooooh bitch you did this you resurrected her

Ohhh you're so dead you're so stupid

OHHH SHE JUST STRAIGHT UP SNAPPED HIS NECK

Luring her in I see

Not a vengeful spirit but something turned angry and dangerous because someone decided to fuck around and find out

WHSHSHS something a little funny about Sam running from some chick in a nightgown

What's dead should stay dead! Correct Dean! Hope you all take that to heart

Don't tell me anything bc I'm already so sure they don't

There's 15 seasons and these guys love to fuck around and find out. What's a little necromancy

Pulling over? Whatcha doing. Getting out to yell at the void

Oh shit is Dean Winchester APOLOGIZING? (gasp)

[ Kayla says he actually does that quite frequently, due to generally being apologetic for committing the crime of existing. This is a fair assessment. ]

Its not your fault buddy... you couldn't have controlled what your dad did. You never could.

Oh my god men crying

---

Dean continues to do bad at feelings. Sam is only marginally better because at least he's addressing that there are feeling being had. Anyways, don't resurrect people, they come back Wrong, and I'm suuuure this is so totally a lesson that the Winchesters are taking to heart and therefore will definitely not be attempting any necromancy at all in the future.

#on the highway to superhell #spn #supernatural #men crying! men crying!

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cursedfortune · 1 year

Note

Hey. In your post, you did address why I failed to follow up in a timely fashion - I have been intimidated, uncertain and scared. I'm not the person you thought sent the initial message expressing a desire to apologize, but I was a friend of yours, and our friendship came to an end in a nasty fashion a while back and there's been a bad taste in my mouth ever since. In fact, I've been wanting to apologize for quite some time now, but never conjured up the courage because I thought I was not "allowed" to and that you would not ever want to hear from me again. I thought it was just best to let sleeping dogs lie and move on, but I have not been able to stop thinking about you or feeling fondness for you, even after all of this time. I'll be honest and say that I don't want to get closure, close a chapter and move on, instead I want to make amends, hash it all out and renew our friendship. But I completely understand that the onus is on me to approach you, initiate a conversation and work with you towards that desired outcome without any anonymity and with full transparency, and I will as soon as possible. I just wanted to send you this right away to (hopefully) ease the worries, concerns and confusions that seem to be clouding your mind currently. Thank you. I'm not looking for a response to this so you need not provide one if you don't want to, and I know there's only one thing left to do now.

hm.

there's really only two people i've had falling outs with to a not great degree. the one this past month and the one that you mentioned, a while back. i'm not going to fault you for your hesitation to reach out. these things are always anxiety-inducing to deal with. i would appreciate a clearer indicator but seeing how the possibilities are slim that does make it easier.

i try to not live my life as a hypocrite. if you've taken time to think about things and want to have a transparent conversation about what happened and see from there - i'm not someone who will deny it. time gives us the chance to see what we didn't like about ourselves, what we didn't like doing to someone else and all the things between. i'm never going to promise an outcome but i can promise that i go into even personal situations as unbiased as i can because i want to hear you (or anyone) out. also i'm processing how i feeling atm, so please ignore if this message sounds like it's lacking an emotion or something. asdfghjk

i'll admit, i am confused about the timing and intercepting someone separately who wanted to apologize. and what you mean by ease worries and stuff if you weren't the one who initially sent that ask is also a little confusing to me. but i think that's something you can clear up for me if you want to have a conversation about things. i'm also confused by your final line in this post because it has a rather ominous tone? and that might just be my time being forced to be someone's personal suicide lookout for most of my life. so i hope it's just me overthinking and ??? wording there and nothing actually that serious is being considered.

i'd prefer this talk happens sooner. in truth, i'm a little beat being in the position to wait on others to talk to me like a person - or like a friend, with these types of matters. if you change your mind on doing this, i just ask you don't leave me in suspense and send another anon to say as much. i don't know if you have a blog anymore, if i've blocked it and need to unblock it or what. assuming this is best privately discussed on discord, you can feel free to message me your handle or if you still have mine - send a request if you're able. it's very rare i outright block people in case something like this happens (wanting to make amends or discuss it). but it happens. the recent one it did, but i can't recall about the past one.

either way, you can message me and we can move this privately to speak.

#sorry dash! please feel free to ignore this. i wasn't sure how to address it without addressing it #and i'm putting it under a readmore to minimize personal stuff like this on dash. hopefully that helps #oocasks

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zhenjun · 4 years

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white people, your cosplay is yellowface

Content warning: images of yellowface that may be upsetting below

Note: I have made the decision to remove the images of modern-day cosplayers. I stand by my initial choice to include them, as I believe actually seeing images of modern cosplay side by side with “real” yellowface was essential to understanding the point. However, this post has gotten much more attention than I ever anticipated. I had, at the time of making it, fewer than 30 followers.

In addition to harassment from sockpuppet accounts, assertions that my opinion on racism is less important because I am in the diaspora, misinterpretation about what this post was initially about (several people claimed cultural appropriation), threats to report and suspend me, and, apparently, discussion on twitter, for my own mental health, I am taking these images down.

I will no longer be responding to criticism or questions on the post, but I will happily answer DMs or asks on the subject. If you disrespect this or try to start more discourse, you are getting blocked, not because I want to silence your voice, but because I am a real person who can choose not to engage with people for reasons as seemingly unfair as my mental health and not wanting to continue filling my blog with the same post that honestly is upsetting for me to look at (as I already stated within the post).

If you have been blocked by me it is either due to disrespect and/or some form of unrelated drama due to how I like to interact with fandoms (i.e. ships like Ch*ngxian, Xu*xiao), not because I am trying to silence you. As I have so few followers, I am sure you can make your own post and gain even more traction than I did.

If you are white, please stop cosplaying MDZS/TGCF characters. It often looks like/is yellowface, and honestly there’s no way to respectfully do it when these media are based so heavily on Chinese culture. I’ll try to sum up why these fandoms need to be more mindful. You can find links and citations at the bottom that read best on my desktop blog theme.

The goal of yellow face in the past wasn’t always to look “authentically Asian;” white directors, actors, set designers, and playwrights set out to use what pieces of East Asian culture they found most inspiring, fun, cool, violent, or backward. Sometimes, white people had "good" intentions" with their use of yellowface and were not "trying" to demean our cultures, but the practice itself did so regardless.

To summarize, white people of the past did yellowface to erase our identities, take aspects of our culture that they liked, or ridicule us. Most modern-day cosplayers are doing the first two.

Below are examples of early Hollywood yellowface and modern-day theater, as well as modern-day cosplay:

[Previously pictured was a white Xie Lian cosplayer who was very receptive after seeing this post and has since removed these images from their social media. If you happen upon any of their cosplay or other social media, please do not send them any hate.]

As you can see actress Katharine Hepburn in “Dragon Seed”[1][2] is in very traditionally inspired Chinese clothing. The previously pictured Xie Lian cosplayer was in a similar hat and wearing white robes. They both had some sort of eye makeup; Katharine Hepburn darkened her hair for the role while the cosplayer was wearing a dark-brown/black wig.

Of note, the character Katharine Hepburn plays in "Dragon Seed" is supposed to be positive; an adaption from (white) author Pearl S. Buck's novel about a brave Chinese woman who stands up to Japanese imperialism. Like modern day cosplayers of Chinese media, just because the white people creating this film did not intend to be harmful does not change that it was yellowface and racist.

[Previously pictured was a before and after picture of a white Xue Yang cosplayer with blue eyes, brown hair, half of which was dyed blonde in the before image. In the after, they were wearing a long black wig, heavy eye makeup, newly shaped and darkened eyebrows, and robes made to emulate CQL in warm lighting]

Here are before and after pictures of actress Katharine Hepburn in 1944[3] and, previously, was a white Xue Yang cosplayer in 2020. Both had altered their eyes and eyebrows as well as donned black wigs or darkened hair.

[Previously pictured was a Jiang Yanli cosplayer in a black wig and robes meant to emulate the donghua]

Yellowface does not always involve modification to the eyes. In these two images, neither Mary Pickford in Madame Butterfly[4] nor the previously shown modern Jiang Yanli cosplayer have done anything noticeable to shape their eyes. They were, however, both wearing black wigs with traditionally inspired outfits. Jiang Yanli wore a modified version of Tang Dynasty fashion.[5]

[previously pictured was an image of a Wei Wuxian cosplayer with face powdered white and rouge around the eyes. Their eyes were still blue as the Madame Butterfly’s were on the left, and they were wearing a long black wig as well as robes designed to emulate his. This image has been replaced and amended with an additional example of modern theater; the production of The Mikado where one actor is wearing a black wig, the other a Japanese inspired hat, and both are wearing Japanese robes]

The final comparison was an example of a stage actress from the 2015 Fargo-Moorehead Opera production for Madame Butterfly[6] on the left (the earlier movie is an adaptation of the play). [This image was previously erroneously attributed to the Knoxville Opera which faced backlash for their production as they had an all-white cast depicting actors in yellowface in 2019.][7]

Honestly, these images just had a strange similarity to me so that’s why I chose to put these two together. Most importantly, was the similarity in makeup, hair, and East Asian clothing. Though the image is not there any longer, but just google Mo Xuanyu cosplays and ask yourself, if you didn’t know the fandom, would you be able to spot the difference of which one is supposed to be worse?

The new image is just another example of modern yellowface in theater, where the actors do not necessarily wear extensive eye makeup to emulate East Asians but, much like modern cosplayers, nonetheless are trying to look like the Asian characters they play in a Seattle production of The Mikado.[8]

As you can see, it’s pretty sad and disturbing to see how the rise of East Asian media is creating a new modern wave of yellowface. I think white people tend to think that black/brown/yellowface is only about darkening the skin, but that is just not what many depictions of yellowface have been for East and Southeast Asian people.

I know a lot of people recognize this is wrong and I appreciate those of you that do, but if you didn’t recognize the past parallels, please read up on the links below! Researching this was honestly triggering and emotionally taxing and caused a mild breakdown, so if you clown on this post you’re getting blocked.

Despite the post losing effectiveness to an extent from taking down the modern day photos, I suggest a quick google search of cosplays from the series during/after reading this. And if you don't agree with me, feel free to block and don't send more hate to me! I'm not trying to get into fights. I just wanna feel like I have a semi-safe space in the fandom but if this annoys you, it's better to just block me.

HISTORY, Casting White People in Asian Roles Goes Back Centuries[↩︎]︎

Youtube, Dragon Seed (1944) Trailer [↩︎]︎

NBC News, 'Correcting Yellowface': One Woman's Project to Fix Whitewashing[↩︎]︎

IMDB[↩︎]

Stony Brook University, The Influence of Chang-An Culture to Korea and Japan: Cultural Diffusion in the Glorious Age of Tang Dynasty[↩︎]

Howard Sherman, Yellowface Bait-And-Switch With ‘Madama Butterfly’ In Fargo[↩︎]︎

OnStage Blog, Knoxville Opera Forgets It's 2019 and Opts for Yellowface for "Madame Butterfly"[↩︎]︎

Seattle Times, The yellowface of “The Mikado” in your face[↩︎]︎

#mdzs #tgcf #the untamed #racism #madame butterfly #dragon seed #❁#yellowface #when I describe the behavior in the note please do not assume it is about you if you've interacted with me #there are probably dozens of people I've interacted with who I may have already blocked etc.

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unbreathable · 4 years

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ride home / S. Rogers

Summary : As a girl you were always told to never accept a ride from unknown men. You knew what could happen, you knew the dangers and heck, you`ve seen how it ruined some girls. But hey, he`s your teacher, nothing could happen. Right?

Pairing : Dark(soft)!teacher Steve Rogers x female Reader

Before you read, please understand that this is intended to be a dark fic. There will be noncon elements, rape, violence, manipulation and so much more. If you find any of these disturbing, please click away. 18+ only.

Warnings for this one shot : manipulation, noncon elements, rape, use of drugs, lost of virginity. This is some kind of au and Steve might be out of character a little.

Word count : 3.319

Credit : for the gif I used, the credit goes to its rightful creator.

Note : Don’t expect this to be any good. I came up with this over the course of a few hours and I’m still learning how to write one shots, as I find it much easier to write a series. Also I still suck at writing “smut”. I’m trying to perfect it, tho. Promise. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this one shot till my mind would be satisfied with the way the next chapter of “The Magpie” turned out and would let me post it. :)) Also, please excuse any mistakes I made. Have a great day you guys!

Also, to all the writers from this platform : thank you !

Girl found wondering around without any memory of the last few days, claims she had been abducted and raped...

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at the case which has been all over the news for the past week. It was quite predictable, really. Young girl, too drunk for her own good woke up by herself in the middle of nowhere. You sighed. In a city as big as New York, cases like this happened almost every other day, but there was always something left behind. Fight marks, blood, hair. Anything that could help the police find the person who did it. This time though, there was nothing.

The poor girl. You couldn`t help but pity her. She must be terrified. All alone against a world that knows nothing better than to judge. You pinched your nose in exasperation.

Cases like this, it`s what made you choose to study law. You wanted to be able to help other women. To offer them a chance at justice. No one deserved to be told that it was their own fault for wondering alone at night or for wearing something more showing. No girl should feel like the law protects only the male population...

“ And what`s your opinion on this matter, miss I`m too busy scrolling on my phone to pay attention to class?”

You cursed in your head, as you put your phone away and lifted your eyes to meet your teacher.

Steve Rogers. America`s hero, savior of the world and an actual pain in your ass, was looking at you expectantly. You held his gaze as you forced your lips to form some kind of smile. Something about him always put you on edge and the way his eyes darkened as he stared at you, didn`t exactly help ease the feeling.

“I`m sorry, I was distracted.” you murmured, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that he caught you unprepared. ”If you would be so kind...”

You looked at him as you raised one eyebrow. It was always like this. No matter what you did he`d always find something to pick at you. At first you took it as a form of banter between a teacher and his students, but with time it became clearly that he had a problem with you. Your grades didn`t reflect the hard work you always put in. Your extra work wouldn`t be considered. Every time you would as much as look at your watch he`d find something to jab at you. He would also have something to say about every paper you handed him. It was a miracle you even made the grade for his class.

You cringed as you remembered the comments he would make about your life outside his class. You seemed to bump into him on a daily. There was also something, in the way he watched your every move, that it made the hair at the back of your neck stay high on alert. You really couldn`t understand what you`ve done that America`s sweetheart despised you that much.

”The women rights...” he smirked down at you.

“Oh, yes. I strongly believe that women should have got their rights the same time men did.” you smiled when you realized that he wanted to add something else. “I mean we know that every society of this world was built around androcentrism, but if we`re real the women were the ones that kept everything from falling apart.” you drew in a short breath. “Oh, and I believe that 1920 was a bit late for our women to get their rights, since women all around the world fought for it since the 18th century.”

You smirked, as for once in your life the bell rang exactly when you needed it. Forcing a smile his way, you stood up gathering your notebooks. You were quite proud of yourself, not because your answer was the desired one, but because you got on professor Rogers nerves. While he didn`t seem to have a problem with women and feminists in general, he sure had a problem with the way you choose to speak on the matter. From the corner of your eye you saw his jaw twitch.

At first you were afraid to even say your opinion lest you would upset him, but now you enjoyed to see that vein on his forehead nearly pop. You held back a giggle. Oh well, at least you won`t have to see him for the next few weeks.

“Professor!” you rolled your eyes when you herd your bestfriend use her sweet voice. “I was wondering if you`d like to come to our party tonight.”

You stood straight, narrowing your eyes at the one that has been your friend since the first day you came to the city. What the hell was happening. You knew she had a crush on him, everyone did, but she wasn`t the one to just go and ask someone out, especially not him. You watched her in confusion as professor Rogers made his way to the front of the class.

“You know, with everything happening right now, the uni council would let us hold the party only if there was someone that could take care of us.”

“Oh!” you supposed that made sense, but even so why did it have to be him.

“Of course professor Barnes already said that he`ll be there, but we`d be thankful if you came too. Please!” your friend bated her eyelashes at him as you rolled your eyes.

Professor Rogers had a pleased smile as he moved his eyes from her to you. You held his gaze, even going as far as raising one eyebrow at him. He blinked, before turning his head towards the rest of the class.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he said after a short moment dismissively. ”`I`ll be there.”

There was something sinister in his eyes. Something that you failed to see as you made your way out of the lecture class.

“I can`t believe you invited him!” you playfully jabbed your friend in the shoulder as she walked next to you.

“Oh, come on! It’s just tonight, and I bet he won’t be able to stay up that late since he’s like... the same age as history?” she bit back a laugh, as she took your hand. “It will be fun, you`ll see.”

You hoped she was right since you were never a big fan of parties of any kind.

_ _ _

This wasn`t fun. Not at all.

You knew you should have stayed home, yet you still wanted to enjoy the last night with your class mates before break. But this wasn`t it. The music was too loud and you couldn`t even hear what some people were saying. Also you`ve never really been a techno fan. The food was crap and you were sure everyone came just because there were free drinks.

It was well past midnight and you have been there since the beginning, but you were already dreading it. You smiled as your only joy came from watching drunk freshmen being rejected by some of your friends. The girls were ruthless and that made you proud.

“Hey girl!” your bestfriend came by your side, holding two glasses in her hands as her body danced along the rhythm of the music. “Look at was professor Rogers sent us.”

Her words were slurred and you could see that she drank already too much. That`s why at first you thought you didn`t hear her right. While it wasn`t unusual for men to send women drinks, getting a drink from your teacher was something you never thought could happen. It was wrong in a way.

“What?” your eyes widened as soon as the word left your mouth.

You eyed the glass she handed you. It seemed to be one of your favorites, and after the sour taste the beer left in your mouth, that would have been like a desert. Still something made you suspicious.

“Come on, take it!” your friend pressed as she smiled broadly. “He must have realized that he’s been an ass all year and wants to make amends.”

She was giggling as her glossy eyes drifted around the room. She didn`t seem to be able to focus on anything, but somehow her shaky hands found yours and brought the glass you were holding closer to your mouth. You weren`t exactly sure what came over you, but you opened your mouth and let the liquid go down your throat. Involuntarily, your eyes wondered around till you saw the back of your least favorite teacher. He didn`t even seem to care about anything around him as he was engaged into a discussion with professor Barnes. That alone made you feel safe, even though the drink left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You were too quick to judge, you resonated. This was probably his way of saying: “Sorry I tormented you that much.” You suddenly giggled. It was shortly followed by your friend`s laughter. She threw the glass to the side and took your hand leading you to the dancefloor.

You weren`t that much of a dancer. You knew just some basics moves and that was it, but now you didn`t seem to care. You let your body move, and only chuckled when your legs started to feel like jelly. It was a strange feeling. You suddenly felt like were floating.

You furrowed your brows as you started to feel that your body didn`t exactly respond to your impulses. Everything around you happened in slow motion.

You cursed. Just how much did you drink? Moving one hand to your head, you tried to get your senses back, but you found it too hard to do. Your head buzzed. For a second you looked around trying to spot your friend among the sweaty bodies on the dancefloor, but it was like you couldn`t recognize anybody.

Fuck this. You had enough of this party already, and the way you felt made you decide that it was time to go home. You moved between the sea of bodies as fast as you could. Your coat and purse were the only thing you spent more than five minutes looking for, but as you found them you practically run out of there.

The bus stop wasn`t that far, but just the thought that you`ll have to go home by bus, made you want to throw up. You didn`t feel well and there was dizziness that started to overcome you. As you watched the empty street, you cursed again. Of course you`ll have to wait till the next bus came. Damn it! You should really get your license.

The sound of a engine from behind you, made you turn your head. Your eyes narrowed as you watched the Range Rover slow down and actually stop right next to you. You squinted your eyes, trying to see through the tinted glass, but as a wave of nausea hit you, you moved your head to the side. You didn`t exactly pay attention when one of the windows went down. You didn`t really care. You felt sick, and all you wanted, was to get home.

“ I saw you left the party early.” the deep voice said. “Are you all right kitten?”

You hissed when you heard the voice of the last person you wanted to see right now. What was he even doing here? Your heart skipped a beat as another wave hit. You took a deep breath and tried to steady yourself. Just ignore him and he`ll go away. You didn`t exactly knew why you choose to act like that but there was something in your head that told you it was for the best.

“Come on girl, I have to make sure everyone is safe and sound.” you heard his voice. “If you don`t feel fine, I can take you home.”

The idea of getting home sooner and in a nice car was looking really good right now. But still, you didn`t feel like it was the best for you. You choose to keep quiet for reasons not even you knew. You glossy eyes scanned the schedule of the bus that was right in front of you. Thirty minutes and you`ll go home.

You heard professor Rogers sigh.

“And here I thought you never shut your mouth.” there was a deep chuckle, fallowed by the sound of the engine coming to life. “Look kitten I can either get you home or I`ll go my merry way and let you here all alone... well not quite. But I`m not sure you`d want that kind of company.”

Confusion filled your mind. The sudden move you made to look at him, made you dizzy. You tried to focus your eyes, in time to see him pointing to somewhere behind you. You slowly turned.

A group of guys were eyeing you like a wolf would his prey. Your mouth fell open as they did obscene gestures at you. Your whole body freeze as fear took over you. You knew what could happen. Suddenly you were more sober that ever and as you heard the car start moving, you nearly threw yourself in front of it. On shaky legs you moved towards the door.

“Wait” you find it hard to speak. “Professor, I`m sorry I... please!”

You looked at him with pleading eyes, and didn`t even register the way he smirked as you got into the car. Everything was a haze. You only felt like you could breath when the car started to gain speed. You didn`t even remembered to give him your address or anything, but as the car rolled down various streets you were only thankful you were far away from them.

“It such a crazy world out there” professor Rogers voice made you move your head towards him, but as the fear was gone, you started to feel the dizziness again.

With unfocused eyes you watched him. America`s hero was giving you a ride home for free and you were acting like he was your biggest enemy. What was wrong with you?

“I have to say I`m impressed.” he suddenly said as the car started to slow down. “That was one of the strongest drugs that you drank, and you still have some of your conscious left. The other ones were down after a few minutes.”

You looked at him and simply blinked. You wondered if your mind was playing games with you. Surely, he hadn`t said what you think you heard. You must have imagined everything.

“E... excuse me?” you asked dully.

You drew in a shaky breath as your trembling hand went to the door. He chuckled darkly at your attempts to open it. You wanted to scream but as your movement became slower and slower you found that fear wasn`t enough to fuel your limp body.

The car came to a sudden stop. You closed your eyes as you felt hands pulling you back.

“Now, now honey.” you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. “Don`t waste your energy, you`ll need it.”

You turned your head and watched him through your eyelashes. Something in your head was screaming at you to fight, to run, to get away. You wanted to punch, scratch, hurt him in any way. But your body didn`t listen.

It happened too fast. In a matter of second your dress was ripped to shreds. And your found yourself pressed to the door. He was over you in an instant. Turning your head to the side so that he could stare into your eyes. He had a hungry look on his face. You`ve seen it many times but it never terrified you as much as now.

“Just as pretty as I imagined.” he said in a husky voice.

You squeezed your legs as you felt his hand moving around along your body. He tugged at your bra till the clasps snapped. Your nipples stood erect, you didn`t know if it was from the cold of the car or the heat that was inside you. One of his hands came forward at pinched at your nipples. You made to move, but as sensing your intention he tugged your head back by your hair.

“Don`t you even dare!” he growled as his thumb played with one of your nipples. “I waited a long time for this”.

He leaned forward kissing down your stretched neck. His mouth was hot against your skin. You gasped when you felt his tongue leaving wet traces along your collarbone. He tugged at your hair one more time before his hand went down.

“Always dressing like this world is your own runaway, always thinking that you know it all.” he let out a moan as he squeezed your ass. “Do you know what a face as pretty as yours and an attitude like that do to a man?”

You whimpered. You never meant to catch his attention in that way, you just wanted to feel good about yourself. You wanted to tell him that. To tell him that you were sorry, but your brain didn`t work anymore. There was no reaction even as he spanked you. You felt like you could pass out every second.

“Don`t even think about it!”

You closed your eyes when your panties were soon the same as your other clothes. Slick was going down your legs. Despite everything, you were aroused.

“So fucking wet already. Good girl!” he praised.

You felt his hand descend down to your very core, proding around. You bit your lips as tears filled your eyes.

“How many have been here before?” he gave a low chuckle the same time his fingers pinched your button.

“One?” he mocked as one of his long fingers entered you.

You held back a gasp. Non, no, no. This wasn`t happening. Nobody touched you like that before. Nobody even came close to it. That`s not how you wanted it not how you dreamt it would happen. You wanted dinner, roses, a man you loved... not him.

“Two?” he continued as another finger stretched you.

You felt your walls clench around his fingers, as he moved them in and out ou you, everything while his thumb circled your most sensitive part.

“Fuck... you`re tight!” his breath was ragged, it was like he couldn`t get enough.

There was a sudden pause. In a quick move you found yourself pressed to the door of the car, as he angled your body to have better access to your burning core. He drew in a breath.

“A virgin.” he moaned.

You closed your eyes as you herd him playing at his clothes. The sudden hardness you felt proding around your core, made you shiver. You didn`t dare to look back and see it. You were scared. It seemed too big. You were afraid it would split you in a half.

You screamed when he entered you. The pain blurred your vision. Your whole body ached and tears fell down your cheeks. No, no, no. You bit back a moan of pain when he started to move, not caring about you at all. His moves were rough, punishing.

“Shhh doll, I`ll take care of you.” he rasped. “You must have waited so long for this... saving yourself for me.”

Your body moved in rhythm with his. His cock dragged along your walls as every move sent a wave of pain through you. Soon though, you found the pain disappeared. A strange feeling took over you. It was almost pleasurable. You guessed you would have enjoyed it under any other circumstances. But now? Now you were just tired.

As you passed out, you failed to notice the feeling of something warm flowing through you.

_ _ _

Steve smiled down at your sleeping form. So pretty, even after being used like that. You had a glow. Too bad you might not remember anything that happened. He chuckled. It`s a good thing he planned to keep you. He`ll make sure you`ll never forget him.

You were his girl after all. The only reason he took that shitty job as a teacher.

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enthusiasticharry · 3 years

Text

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Fem!OC x Harry | 𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.7k

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒 | 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐋𝐇 | 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐆

After a car accident changed Christian Flores’ life forever, she thought that it would only be her and her sister forever. Christian and her sister, Luisa, decide to open up a bed and breakfast in the Lake District, a place that their parents would always take them to when they were younger. During the second year of Little Lodge, they receive a booking out of the blue for an entire month. Little did Christian know that author H.Styles, the man who made the booking, would change her life in ways that she can’t comprehend during the month that he was there. Slowly but surely they feel comfortable with each other, and then it does turn into something more, and before Christian realises how deep she has fallen for him, Harry is gone. Harry doesn’t realise it then, but he leaves more than a broken hearted-girl behind, but more so a girl with her entire world flipped upside down.

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 —

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 —

ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FOURTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN SEVENTEEN EIGHTEEN NINETEEN TWENTY

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝟏. This story contains adult themes and language, such as sexual scenes and issues surrounding death, disability and life-changing accidents. If you are uncomfortable with any of those, please do not read. 𝟐. This story is fiction and I created it all in my little noggin’ that floats around in my head. I have visited the Lake District in my lifetime (not as much as I’d like to, to say the least) and I have done my research, but, if I get anything wrong I sincerely apologise. 𝟑. This is a Strangers to Lovers, and it is a Slow Burn between an author and a bed and breakfast owner. 𝟒. This story is split up into two parts, before and after and the parts are very different from each other and they discuss some quite distressing subjects. 𝟓. All of the research on Hispanic culture and language I have researched myself but please, if you see anything that isn’t right please let me know so I can amend it and change it. 𝟔. The main thing that I am asking, though, is for you to enjoy and let me know how much you are enjoying it! Likes and Reblog’s will be a massive help as well if you’re able to. Let people know about Feels like Home and spread the word!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: This story includes explicit language, sexual content, alcohol abuse, death and other triggering topics. Read at your own risk! I can only give you so many warnings!

If you would like to be added to the 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 please let me know HERE or by sending me a message!

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles masterpost #series #harry styles x oc #harry styles x ofc

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vasiliquemort · 4 years

Photo

~Commissions time~

Oh, hello there~

It would be absolutely wonderful if you distribute this post or even want to support my projects and order something special for yourself;зз Below I have described in detail almost all the necessary information, but please do not hesitate to write and ask me for any reason in a private message or ask - it will be my pleasure to tell or show you more, and I am always glad to have pleasant acquaintances***

What can I do for you:

Design and illustration of your original character (based on references or text description)

Your portrait, a portrait of your loved one, a celebrity or a person you like (including historical figures)

A portrait of any artistic character - from any fandom, and although my work is closer to gothic fantasy, it is a great pleasure for me to work with new themes and develop myself. The fandoms I'm most familiar with are listed in tags;з

I like to design clothes on my own, interpret the appearance and style of characters, but I am always very attentive to the interests and desires of other people**

I do portraits in three formats - bust, waist-length and full-length, and with three different stages of completion - line art, flat color and full shadow work. They can be completely different in style, and you should pay close attention to the difference in the execution of these formats - the busts are always more detailed in the character's features, the atmosphere is more consistent in waist-length paintings, and full-length drawings are well suited to demonstrate clothing design or depict a scene.

On average, I complete the work within three to four days, but in case of various circumstances I leave myself up to a week, the lion's share of the time (usually the first day) is occupied by sketch and line art, as well as the background - depending on the complexity and its cost , and the duration of the work can vary greatly, but on average I do them in a day or two.

I can make completely different backgrounds for you - for bust or chest-high portraits, graphics or bokeh with some elements of the environment are more suitable, for full-length portraits, you can perform both art nouveau design and full surroundings with a landscape or interior design.

What can I do and approximate prices:

- Bust of one character up to the chest.

Sketch: $ 30

Flat color: $ 35

Shadows & Color Treatment: $ 40

- Portrait of one or more characters up to the waist.

Sketch: $ 45

Flat color: $ 50

Shadows & Color Treatment: $ 55

For background + 5 $ minimum.

For each new character + 10 $

- Character (or several) in full growth.

Sketch: $ 60

Flat color: $ 65

Shadows & Color Treatment: $ 70

For background + 10 $ minimum.

For each new character + 15 $

I also accept tips - most often they are included in the cost of the background, which is done at the end, after the main character design.

Whoa !! You’ve read almost everything! Thank you very much! Here, under the cut, I describe the whole process of work and how we pay. This is very useful information about most of the questions that you may have, if you want to purchase my work, I advise you to take a look too;)

How do we work on an order?

Please feel free to contact me via Tumblr or mail for any questions you may have! ~ If you have an interest in my work, and you want me to create something special for you - share this with me in a message, we can discuss all the details and cost of your painting**

After I discuss the content of the painting with the client and receive additional materials from him (a photo of the person I am drawing, or references that are close to what is expected of me), I start creating the first sketch.

In accordance with the request, I make a sketch of the future painting, which will contain all its important elements and an approximate color scheme (if any) that I will use. At this stage, you can freely make your amendments, and when the content suits you, I will ask you for an advance payment of half the cost of the work without price of background (through Paysend).

After that, work on the portrait will begin. Its duration varies on several factors - to a greater extent on the volume and complexity of the work itself, as well as on my own workload with other orders. I will contact you at various stages of the work readiness to show its progress and make the necessary corrections.

After completing the portrait, I will send you its version in low quality- you familiarize yourself with it, and after you pay the rest of the amount, you will receive the final result of our work! ~

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lala-ladybug · 3 years

Text

Healing Hands: Chapter 1

Hello hello! First fic here, it’s a Maribat AU with a side of Sword Art Online. Or what I remember from having watched the show once about five years ago. We’ve got Marinette and minimal class salt, Young Justice but only the good parts, and primarily Jasonette. Please spread the word (I am a tiny sideblog) and let me know what you think <3

Read here on AO3

Chapter 1: You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you

Friday, at long last. Marinette could not have exhaled a bigger sigh of relief. It was mid-way through the school term, her commissions were ramping up, and Hawkmoth had become frustratingly active. Her duties as class president had only increased as she and her friends neared the end of lycée, not to mention all the studying she was doing for the baccalauréat on top of her regular school work. Commissions were booming now that her popularity as the anonymous designer MDC was soaring worldwide. She wouldn’t give any of it up for the world, but she might enjoy getting more than three or four hours of sleep for once.

There was only part of her life that had gotten easier since that day three years ago when she was entrusted with a pair of spotted earrings and an old god to match. Ladybug started out with one partner, but she now had a whole team to share the responsibilities of keeping their city safe. Ryuko and Viperion became permanent fixtures of the Parisian rooftops, and Bourdonne replaced Queen Bee after the infamous (albeit self-inflicted) unmasking of Chloe Bourgeois. The people of Paris looked to these heroes with pride and trust.

And Marinette Dupain-Cheng, now the Guardian of the Miraculous, looked to her partners with trust as well. She had decided that with her in charge, she could no longer keep secrets from her friends, from her new Order of the Guardians. She discussed it with Chat Noir, and he had smiled and agreed that it was time. And one day, when Ladybug gathered her teammates on a remote rooftop in the dead of night, she said only “I trust you,” before allowing her transformation to fall.

She wasn’t nervous, not really. She knew Kagami and Luka had good hearts, and she had seen firsthand how much Chloe had grown. Those three accepted her civilian self, her true self, without half a thought, and followed their leader in dropping their transformations as well. Chloe got her quips in while Ladybug looked to Chat Noir.

He passed his gaze over the faces of their friends and smirked like he was holding in a laugh. As he said “Claws in,” Marinette could hear the laugh in his voice, an intonation that sounded so very familiar, and oh. Of course.

Adrien Agreste beamed at his friends, both in the mask and out, and said fondly, “I’m so glad it’s you.”

The rest, of course, was history. For the year and a half since then, the five heroes of Paris had kept the city safe from threats magical and mundane alike. Hawkmoth had, of course, gotten craftier and more vicious with his attacks, sometimes choosing to send bursts of weaker akumas over the span of a week, sometimes waiting a month before sending an especially brutal villain their way.

But it was nothing that the Order of the Guardians couldn’t handle. Even though it could get exhausting after a while, which is why the incoming weekend was a welcome reprieve. There was another reason why this particular weekend was so exciting, which was that a new video game, Mindscape, was debuting. It would be released at midnight EST, which was 6:00 in the morning for Paris.

“Today’s the day, girl!” Alya squealed as she flagged Marinette down on their way to the classroom. “We are so lucky that our class won that raffle to get these exclusive passes. I bet I’ll be the first blog to get the scoop on this new tech they’re using!”

Marinette giggled and started to reply, “Super lucky, right? I’m excited too, I heard--”

“You know,” Lila cut her off as she sidled up to Alya. “I’m not saying that I didn’t enter us to get those downloads, but I was a big help with beta testing.”

How she managed to time that comment just as the three girls crossed the threshold of the classroom, and how she managed to know that nearly the whole class would already be there to hear it, Marinette would never understand. She only had to wait a moment before the rest of their friends rushed to the door to thank Lila.

“This opportunity is amazing, we are incredibly grateful!” Max was first in line, ever the technology-enthusiast.

Kim pushed his shorter friend out of the way and vigorously shook Lila’s hand. “You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you.” Lila looked a little overwhelmed as he continued to shake her hand all the while, and she gave him a nervous smile.

He was soon pushed out of the way as Alix muscled her way to the front next. “I definitely owe you for giving me the chance to kick his ass in a brand new way!” She jerked her head to where Kim had landed on the floor, pouting at her.

As the rest of the class who would be joining them in the game’s premiere expressed their thanks, Alya looked on with an affectionate smile. She was so very happy that she now had two kind, selfless best friends. Her smile fell a little as she noticed Marinette stoically edging her way around the crowd and up to her seat, not having said a word to Lila. Alya just wished that her two besties would get along.

Alya put a hand on Lila’s shoulder and smiled her thanks before following Marinette to what was once their shared desk. “You really should thank her, you know,” Alya implored hopefully.

Without turning around to face Alya, Marinette paused and shared an incredulous look with Adrien, who was already seated at his shared desk with Nino. She then shrugged and replied, “Lila never actually said that she got us the passes,” before continuing up the steps to her seat at the back of the class. Alya shook her head and sat down. It was always like this, a cool indifference from Marinette whenever Lila came up. They were both such incredible people, Alya couldn’t understand why they didn’t get along.

As for Marinette, she was semi-content to let Lila be as long as her lies didn’t hurt anybody. Her unrealistic promise to take away all of Marinette’s friends was never fulfilled, and honestly the amount of emotional energy it used to sap from her just wasn’t worth it anymore. Marinette had no idea how Lila was going to get her hands on a copy of the game when Mari was, of course, the one who had won the raffle. She distributed the special access passes herself, and Lila certainly hadn’t gotten one. If this was the way that she wanted to make friends, she would eventually have to face the consequences.

But for now, Lila was basking in her praise. That is, until she glanced at her phone and gave a small gasp of dismay.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, concern already etched on her face.

Lila covered her mouth with one hand and started rapidly blinking back tears. “It’s my VIP copy of the game. There was a mixup in the mail and it won’t get here in time for tomorrow morning! I’m so sorry everyone, it looks like you’ll have to do it without me....” She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders trembled with barely restrained sobs.

The class shared a worried look, and Sabrina piped up, “It’s okay Lila, you can borrow my copy.” Lila immediately looked up and surged forward to clasp the hands of her friend.

“Really? But won’t it have the same problem?” Sabrina smiled and shook her head. “Nope, it’s a digital download! I don’t mind, you can always trade it back when your VIP pass arrives later.”

Lila gave her a brilliant smile, any tears long-since dried. “Oh, thank you so much Sabrina! I’ll see what I can do about getting you a VIP pass too once mine gets here.”

At that moment, Chloe walked in, and one look at the scene displayed in front of her had her rolling her eyes at her former best friend. She gracefully swept up the steps to join Marinette at the back of the classroom and whispered to her, “Aren’t they all digital downloads?”

Marinette, who had started unpacking her bag to prepare for class, inclined her head and gave the blonde a meaningful look that indicated yes, they were indeed all digital downloads. Chloe snickered and started preparing her own side of the desk.

After the fiasco of outing herself as Queen Bee, Chloe had lost the minimal support and tolerances she had been allowed before. It gave her time to truly reflect on how she acted and treated other people. She had since been quietly making amends with those she’d wronged, and the person on the top of that list was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. It took time and a lot of effort on Chloe’s part, but she mellowed out and did a lot of growing up. She still spoke her mind, though.

“Huh that’s strange, I got the VIP package too, but mine was a digital pass,” Chloe loudly proclaimed, studying her nails nonchalantly as the rest of the class turned to look up at her.

Lila grit her teeth into a forced smile and replied sweetly, “Well that’s because mine was an original beta testing copy that they had to update for the full game.” She turned her attention to Marinette and a note of false concern crept into her voice. “Oh Marinette, I hope you’ll still have time to come too! I know you’ll be busy this weekend with planning the spring class field trip. It would be such a shame if it didn’t happen because you were too busy playing a video game.”

Marinette suddenly felt very warm under the gazes of the entire class. She stammered out, “Oh-of course we’ll get to go! Don’t worry, I have a meeting with the school board on Monday.” Trust Lila to sniff out the one thing that had slipped below her radar.

Lila’s eyes lit up with an opportunistic gleam. “That’s great! Where will it be?”

“Well, uh, the school board has to review the location, so I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I can tell you that it will be in, um,” her eyes flicked around wildly and landed on the posterboard of different flags from the prior week’s lessons. “America!”

The class burst into excited chatter moments before Madame Bustier arrived and the late bell rang. Marinette released a breath and sagged in her seat. Saved by the bell.

Chloe gave her a sidelong glance and murmured, “America, huh?”

“Shut up,” Marinette shot back.

* * *

Madame Bustier tried to get the class to pay attention, she really did. They struggled through their lessons before lunch, the volume of side conversations between deskmates swelling all the while. The moment the bell for lunch dismissal rang, the students exploded into conversation as they left the classroom.

Marinette waved as Chloe and Adrien walked off to go meet Kagami and Luka at a nearby cafe. She breezed into the patisserie across the street from Francois Dupont and gave her surprised Maman a kiss on the cheek.

“I thought you were going out with your friends for lunch?” Sabine asked, balancing a tray of eclairs on her hip. “I forgot I have to plan our class trip!” Marinette replied cheerfully as she hurried into the kitchen to quickly fix herself a croque-monsieur. She gave her Papa a hug as she finished preparing her meal. He shouted up at her to not make a mess as she retreated into her room to eat at her desk.

She gave a small snort at that. It was nearly impossible for her to make a mess of food when she had over a dozen Kwami there to clean up after her, but he didn’t know that. She greeted said Kwami with a delighted grin and a wave as she set her plate down by her desktop computer.

“Marinette, why are you back so early?” Tikki asked, “is everything okay?” The other Kwami swarmed around her as she woke her computer up and logged in.

The girl waved one hand nonchalantly and opened up a web browser with the other. “Everything’s fine, I just forgot about planning the class trip!” She took a huge bite of the sandwich and started typing furiously. Several Kwami dove after the crumbs that sprayed everywhere.

“Ohhh, I see! Do you have an idea of where to start?” Tikki zoomed around Marinette’s shoulder to hover next to the monitor screen.

Marinette had the same determined gleam in her eye as when she finally found the perfect fabric for a design. She said confidently around a mouth full of ham, “America.”

* * *

By the time the lunch break had finished, Marinette had a preliminary list of cities on the East Coast of the United States. She had researched Gotham first, but it looked far too dangerous and gloomy. Next was New York City, which she determined was too big. Philadelphia was historic, but in a way that would definitely bore her classmates. Boston was too cold despite its excitement. Which left Metropolis as the perfect candidate. It was also protected by the perfect superheroes, Superman and his family, so she was absolutely confident the school board would approve of the city.

Of course, the meeting on Monday would need more specifics than just the city, but she was pleased with her progress so far. Marinette shut down her monitor, grabbed her backpack and plate from lunch, and went downstairs to the kitchen. She quickly scrubbed and dried her plate in the sink before waving to her parents as they bustled around, accommodating the tail end of the mid-day rush.

Marinette walked across the street with a spring in her step and, spotting a tall flash of blue hair, half-jogged up to her group of friends.

“Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t make it to lunch!” She grinned apologetically at Kagami and Luka.

“That’s alright Melody,” Luka gave her a side hug, “Chloe told us you were busy planning your class trip.”

Adrien slung an arm around Kagami’s shoulder and pulled his girlfriend closer to whisper conspiratorially to her, “I hear we’re going to America.” She laughed softly at his antics and at Marinette who stuck her tongue out at him. Kagami then said to Marinette, “That sounds delightful, Marihime. I trust you will still be joining us tomorrow morning?”

Marinette’s eyes lit up with excitement at the prospect of playing the game with her friends all weekend long. “Definitely! I’m going to finish preparing for the school board meeting tonight so that we can play the second it comes out.”

“If you can wake up on time,” Chloe teased.

Marinette crossed her arms defensively and stated with pride, “I already set three alarms, thank you very much!”

Adrien burst out laughing at that. “Leave it to our everyday Ladybug,” he winked. Her face flushed as she pouted. He chuckled again and kissed Kagami on the top of her head. “See you later, mon coeur.”

She and Luka waved to the rest of the group as they left to return to their own schools. The three Francois Dupont students watched them go for a moment before returning inside.

“So, you and Kagami have plans?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah! Our parents gave special permission for a sleepover at my place tonight so we can play the game right when it comes out tomorrow.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had never quite abandoned. “But I’m not sure how often we’ll be able to be online with you guys after this weekend. You know how busy our schedules are....”

Marinette elbowed him lightly as they walked. “It’s a blessing you both managed to convince your dad and her mom to let you come to the launch at all! We’ll play together when we can, it’s no big deal.”

Adrien smiled gratefully at her and held the door open for both Marinette and Chloe as they entered the classroom. Alya was already there, and once she spotted her best friend (well, one of them), she skidded down the steps with a huge grin and held an invisible microphone up to Marinette.

“Thank you Nadja, and good afternoon Paris! This is Alya Cesaire, and today I am joined by young fashion designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, can you give us an exclusive scoop on the trip you’re planning for your class?”

“Good afternoon Mlle. Cesaire,” Marinette giggled, “Unfortunately, the trip has yet to be approved by the school board so no details just yet. But I can tell you with certainty that we will be visiting the resident city of some popular American superheroes.” She winked as she finished in her best interview voice.

Alya gasped and dropped her pretend microphone as she hugged her best friend. “Really!? Oh my gosh girl, you are the best!”

Marinette laughed and hugged her back as Alya jumped and spun them around. Once they pulled apart, she told the brunette, “As soon as the school board gives me the green light, you’ll be the first to know.”

The late bell rang and the girls practically skipped to their respective seats as Madame Bustier called the class to attention. Well, “attention” in the loosest sense of the word. They struggled once more through the majority of their lessons, but Madame Bustier seemed to sense defeat and she let them chatter excitedly for the last twenty minutes before dismissal.

Kim and Alix were boasting about how they were going to stay up all night, while Max encouraged them to maximize the time they would be able to play the next day by getting a full night’s sleep in before the launch time.

Lila bragged about her role in the creation of the game from its conception to even having suggested the highly anticipated date of release. Adrien pointedly ignored Lila in the row behind his and discussed the music they had recorded and mixed for the game with a very enthusiastic Nino.

Sabrina looked on a little sadly until Mylene, Ivan, Rose, and Juleka invited her to join their Disney movie marathon double-date instead. Mylene was too nervous to play the game so Ivan chose to sit out to support her, and video games weren’t really Rose and Juleka’s style. Sabrina’s face softened as she gratefully accepted their invitation.

Nathaniel turned around in his seat to talk to Marinette about the art rendering and the programs they used while Chloe scrolled aimlessly on her phone.

By the time the bell finally rang, the class was beyond excited to go prepare for the launch the next morning.

Marinette, to her credit, swallowed her enthusiasm and sat down to fully plan out their trip to Metropolis. It was grueling work, researching the safest hotel that was still in a central location. It had to be affordable but not shabby, too, because they had a limited budget. She eventually settled on the reputable Wayne Hotel, apparently part of an enormous corporation called Wayne Enterprises, and then began to build an itinerary with different events from there.

She worked nonstop the rest of the night, with the exception of a brief dinner break, and it was nearly 11:00 at night by the time she finished. Marinette sat up from her desk chair and stretched, then double-checked that her alarms were set before finally heading to bed.

#marinette dupain cheng #jasonette #sword art online au #virtual reality #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #maribat #maribat fic #healing hands

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cancelingthenoise · 3 years

Text

Unworthy

Soooo, after a 13 year hiatus, I’m trying to get back into writing and where better to start than fan fiction and with my fave OTP. But buckle up, it’s a heavy one. Hopefully I’ve tagged all the appropriate trigger warnings; apologies if I’ve missed any - please let me know if I have!!

Summary: Addict. Junkie. Worthless. He has been gone for three years and is ready to come home, but his biggest enemy is still the one inside.

Rated: Mature (Addiction, Recovery, Implied Drug Use, Drug References, Mild Sexual Content)

Cross-posted to FFN and AO3

He inserts the coins and dials a number he knows by heart. The only one that is permanently branded into the recesses of his mind. As it rings, he hopes – let it be the right number, let it still be her number, let her pick up …

Hello?

“Kagome.”

Inu … Inuyasha?

“I … want to come home.”

Where are you?

He tells her the city, the intersection, the name on the warehouse nearby. Everything that can pinpoint exactly where he is so she can find him.

I’m on my way. Stay put.

There’s a tone in her voice he can’t identify and it sends pangs straight to his heart, but she’s coming. She’s coming.

And so, he waits.

Two hours later a familiar red sedan pulls up in front of him and its driver approaches. She’s older now, tired, he notices as he stands to greet her. He watches as she looks him over. He’s dirty, he knows, and even his demon-blood cannot mask how battered and bruised he is. He’s shocked but admittedly pleased when she wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes him in an embrace. Her scent is altogether lovely and calming, like coming home.

It takes every fiber of his being not to whine when she pulls away and looks him square in the eyes. Her grey eyes are intense and full of contrasting emotions. All for him. “Let’s go.” She finally speaks, her tone decisive and unyielding.

He has nothing but the clothes on his back, but instead of a pitying glance, she nods. It’s almost cathartic that she’s here and he has no physical baggage to take. She tosses her purse from the passenger seat into the back so he can settle in.

He notices the ring when she places her hands on the steering wheel. Ten-and-two, ever predictable.

“You’re engaged.” He cannot hide the shock, the disdain that he feels.

“Yes.”

Her response is sharp and leaves no invitation for a response, but he can’t help it as the jealousy bubbles up through his core.

“Had enough waiting on the addict to clean up his act?” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he feels instant regret. He’s always been a hothead who runs his mouth before thinking, but he can tell these words sting deep. They pain him too.

She flinches and releases a haggard breath.

“That’s not fair. You left. You stopped calling. You stopped picking up. You couldn’t even text. And then your number went out. Now you’ve called me from a payphone. It’s been three years.” Her eyes remain firmly on the road, hands clenching the wheel, but he can see her body tremble and hear the strain in her voice. She’s angry. Furious.

He slumps, “I’m sorry.” His whisper is meek as he understands a mere apology is not nearly enough to make amends for the past. It doesn’t explain why he had to disappear, why he went away for so long. It can’t make her understand his reasons.

She nods almost imperceptibly and seems to consider a game plan. “I’ll take you to Sesshomaru’s.”

“No.” He’s vehement. There’s no chance in hell he will turn to his half-brother. Especially now.

“Sango and Miroku’s then.”

“And?” He balks at the conjunction.

“They’re married now. Have been for a year. You would’ve been his Best Man, but …”

She trails off, but he understands. They couldn’t find him, reach him. The hole he left in their lives appears to be much greater than he imagined.

They drive in silence for nearly an hour. He wants to speak, wants to tell her everything, but he can’t find the words; and based on the furtive glances she keeps sending him, she can’t either.

“I was so scared you were dead.” She finally whimpers.

“Some days I wished I was.” He admits forlornly.

She looks at him for a few moments before staring back at the road, brows furrowed, mouth turned down.

“I’m glad you’re not.”

Those are the last words spoken before silence consumes them again.

After they hit the city limits, she drives to a house in the suburbs. It looks like a dream with its double-attached garage and neatly manicured lawn. A chokecherry tree sits among a bed of flowers in the middle of the green; simple yet attractive and he knows whose home he stands in front of. She leads him from the driveway to the royal blue front door and it opens almost immediately, revealing two faces he has longed to see almost as much as Kagome’s. Their expressions are a combination of disbelief and relief. Miroku does not hesitate to embrace him with a sigh as Sango looks on with tears in her eyes. He reaches a tentative hand out to her which she grasps tightly with a closed smile.

They usher him into the house and guide him to their kitchen. Miroku settles him into a spot at the breakfast bar as Sango pours him a glass of water. They do not speak, though the questions in their eyes are obvious. Miroku nods at him as he and Sango walk back to the door, to Kagome. She hasn’t come in. Her face has been drawn since they stopped speaking during the drive.

He waits inside the kitchen as they speak outside. He could train his ears to listen to their conversation, and briefly considers it, but he chooses not to. His absence has prohibited him from those intimacies. They are different people now, just as he is. They are probably discussing how to get him on his feet again as quickly as possible so they can get back to their lives. Why would they want him to stay? Why would they want him around for longer than necessary?

Miroku and Sango return to him. He hears the telltale roar of an engine and knows Kagome has gone. He feels sadness, but knows why she’s left without a word. After all, who can jump right into caring for your former partner who has all but risen from the grave?

Sango looks him over, assessing him thoroughly. He avoids her eyes, unsure of what emotions she’s wearing and afraid to meet them. Shame fills his bones. Maybe he should have stayed away. Maybe he should have stayed dead in their minds. He is a spot on their pristine lives.

Miroku refills his glass of water and replaces it on the counter before sitting on the stool beside him.

“You’re alive,” he finally breathes.

Inuyasha meets Miroku’s gaze and is warmed to see compassion and joy in his deep blue eyes. The shame that was eating him just moments ago fades ever so slightly.

“You’re home.” Miroku states, “It’s a miracle. Where have you been? What have you been doing?”

The dam is officially broken and all the questions that he knew were coming are finally bare, and despite everything, he feels entirely unprepared to answer. So he starts slow, begins with the day they last saw him. He tells them of his travels, the hitchhiking, the homelessness, but skimps out on the details of things he has done, the sins he has committed. Those are secrets he will take to the grave. He is unwilling to mar the consciences of those he loves.

“Have you…” Sango shakes her head, unable to finish her question, but he fully comprehends what she means to ask.

“No. I’ve been clean since the day I left.”

“Then why?”

“Loose ends.” He murmurs. “I had to settle my debts. They … they would’ve come for her if I didn’t comply.”

“For so long?”

Three years is nothing, he wants to tell them. He’s lucky he only had to serve that long. Naraku is a malevolent bastard and exploits the last breath out of most. Frankly, his death would have been an easier price to pay.

“I had to earn my freedom.” He admits this ashamedly and hopes they don’t press for more.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It wasn’t so simple.”

“So you disappeared.” Sango states brusquely, her tone is harsh and unforgiving. “You broke her heart, you know. You broke all of our hearts when you left.”

That admission freezes him from the inside. He knew his absence would be difficult for them all, but hearing it spoken aloud affects him more than he thought it would. He imagines Kagome sobbing into her pillow. It’s a scene that is all too familiar, he’s caused her many tears – too many.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He repeats his submissive apology from earlier and slumps, his forehead almost touching the counter.

“You’re here now,” Miroku responds comfortingly and places a hand on his shoulder, “You’re here. You’re alive. You’re safe. That’s what matters. We can help you now, if you want it.”

He lifts his head and looks directly at Sango whose cinnamon eyes convey grief and yet hold a glimmer of hope. He turns to Miroku who is awaiting his response.

“Yes.” He declares, confidence daring to materialize, “Please.”

Later that evening he is settling into the spare bedroom they’ve given him. Before him is a suitcase of his belongings that Kagome has dropped off on the front step. He takes a breath and opens it. He is quickly overcome with her sweet scent which is deeply embedded in each item. The clothes are slightly too big for him now. Three years of constantly moving, being on the run, and meager meals have diminished his former stature.

Amongst his clothes is a red leather-bound book. A journal. It smells more intimately of Kagome than everything else. She has wept openly on these pages, he can tell. He opens it and thumbs quickly through the pages. Each entry is a letter addressed to him. As he flips through the journal certain phrases jump out at him amidst the lines of her loopy hand.

I want to hate you.

Where are you?

I wish I had never met you.

Are you alive?

I wish I could hold you.

Please come home.

I love you.

He shudders as he realizes that these pages hold missives from the last three years. These are Kagome’s thoughts, her feelings. This is an intimacy he thought was nearly impossible now. She has to have put this with his things on purpose. She’s thorough like that. Every action is purposeful, thoughtful. He finds the last entry in the journal, it’s dated today.

Inuyasha,

This is a collection of letters that I began writing when I realized you weren’t coming home anytime soon. Eventually I thought you weren’t coming home at all. I used these to talk to you as if you were still by my side. I don’t know what you’ve been through and maybe giving you this journal is selfish of me, but I needed you to see.

I hope they help you understand why I can’t be the one to help you right now. I need time. It’s ironic saying that after you’ve been gone for three years. It feels like there’s been nothing but time between us. I thought you were dead when I received your call today. I thought I was hearing a ghost. I’m so grateful you’re alive, but things are different now. We are not the same people we were before.

I need to figure this out.

Please understand.

Kagome

It isn’t until tears splatter on the page that he realizes he is crying. Of course she needs time. He knew this was a possibility when he made the phone call this afternoon. He’d hoped against hope that she would come for him and take him back fully. But that was wishful thinking. He knew there was a chance she would turn him away. She could have hung up as soon as she heard his voice. But she came for him, made arrangements for him. But she is engaged to another man. She needs to figure out if there is still room in her life for him.

For her, he’d wait a lifetime. Even to just be her friend.

It is another three months before he sees Kagome again. He’s read that journal more times than he cares to admit. All her sleepless nights are immortalized in those grid-lined pages, that he’s now dog-eared and bookmarked. Her worries, fears, even her dreams laid bare. He knows how often she cried when he was in the depths of his addictions, but it has taken this journal to make him truly appreciate how deeply he hurt her, even after he was gone. And to his astonishment, it wasn’t the behaviour that hurt her the most, it was his poor viewpoint of himself.

I wish you could see you how I do.

I should have told you more what you meant to me.

I regret every moment I didn’t say “I love you.”

He knows Sango sees her regularly, he can always scent her when Sango arrives home. It’s not as if they’re keeping their meetings a secret, but he’s respecting her space even though it kills him. It bothers him when he can smell the sadness of her tears and the tinge of fatigue. He wonders what causes her tears these days, why she’s so often tired, why sometimes there’s a trace of illness in her scent that lingers on Sango. From Miroku he learns that she’s busy with her residency at the hospital. Ever the studious achiever. Ever wanting to help others. To heal.

This is the reason he knows she’d never give up on him. It’s why she was the one he called. She’s a walking bleeding heart, always has been. She sees the best in people, even when their best is a mere speck amidst obscurity. When he was at his worst, she stood by him. When everyone else had lost hope and he’d been slipping deeper into his addictions, his darkness, she stayed. She brought him back from the brink of death’s door one too many times. Back then, she truly loved him. And he’s holding onto hope with every fiber of his being that she still does.

He hopes she’s proud of him and the progress he’s making. Since he’s been back, he’s found work thanks to Miroku’s contacts in construction. He’s proven himself to be a hard worker and has met a journeyman to mentor him as an apprentice in iron work. It’s also helped boost his confidence with reintegrating into society. At work, no one cares what his past is, what skeletons he hides in the closet, as long as he gets the job done. At work, they’re all sinners just trying to get by.

He stays away from the parties and the after-work bar stops. He recognizes the patterns in some of his colleagues all too well. One drink leads to two leads to three leads to smack or blow or both which leads to miserable mornings because you’ve spent all night chasing that first-time spark. No matter how hard you try, you can never attain that feeling again and still you chase. It’s the vicious cycle. He’s done with that life. It’s taken too much away from him, cost him too much.

Miroku and Sango have let him know that Kagome will be coming for dinner, so he’s had ample time to prepare. But when she arrives in the doorway and her scent hits him like a freight train, he panics. Has she had enough time? Has she made a decision? Will she want him to stay away? He runs to his room and leans back against the closed door. He’s stared down the barrels of guns with less fear than what he’s experiencing in this moment.

He smells her before he hears her footsteps arriving at his door. Trepidation grips him as he hears her voice call to him for the first time in three months. This is so much harder than that very first phone call that has brought him home.

“Inuyasha?”

She’s there, he can tell her face is pressed to the wood. Her voice is soft, hesitant. Perhaps she is just as nervous as him.

“Can I come in?”

He quakes as he reaches for the handle and turns it painfully slow. He inches the panel open. Finally, finally, he opens it all the way and turns to face her.

Her face is a portrait of concern and tenderness. Her grey eyes are intense as they’ve always been and are already filling with tears. Her arms are wrapped around herself as if she’s blocking a gale.

He steps aside to let her in and shuts the door behind her.

She stares at the floor and he focuses on a spot on the wall above her head for a few moments. He is completely stunned when she launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and clutching as hard as she can. As he wraps his arms around her shoulders, she sobs fiercely and he feels tears prick the back of his own eyes.

He cups the back of her head, gently stroking her hair, and whispers repeatedly, “I’m sorry.”

It feels as if hours have passed when Kagome’s tears finally subside. His body protests when she begins to pull away, but she clasps his hand and pulls him to sit on his bed. She pulls a tissue out of her jeans pocket and wipes her face.

“Sango tells me you’ve been working,” her voice is pinched from crying, but he admires her attempts at normal conversation.

“Yeah, it’s going well.”

“Good,”

She smiles then and he thinks it’s the best thing he’s seen in years. Her eyes are red and swollen, and her cheeks are ruddy, but her smile can still light up a room and he’s glad that it’s his.

“I … really am glad that you’re home.”

“Me too,”

“I’ve missed you a lot,

“Me too,” He feels like a goddamn broken record, but he may combust if he attempts more words.

“And … I’d like it if we could start hanging out again.”

He gapes at her, slack-jawed and eyes wide. While he has been hoping for this, it is still a surprise to hear it straight from her lips. His mind races with all the things he wants to say and his heart is lodged in his throat.

“That is … if you’d want to,”

He realizes that he’s taken too long to respond and she’s beginning to backtrack. In a lot of ways, they are still the same people they were; confident in so many circumstances and yet, with each other, eternally hesitant and nervous.

“Of course I want to,”

The words rush out of his mouth in an effort to reassure her.

“I would love to spend time with you. I just wasn’t sure … if you’d …” he’s stumbling and feels like a fool, but he needs her to know. He needs her to understand just how much he wants to be back in her life.

She smiles again and his world warms once more.

“I guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

It takes him a moment to remember that their friends are downstairs with dinner and they stand together. He realizes as they descend the stairs that she has not let go of his hand at all. Her diamond ring is notably absent from her finger, but he leaves that question for another time.

Dinner is a simple affair and it’s the lightest he’s felt in years.

- - - - -

If there’s anything his life has taught him, it’s that happiness is temporary. Six months of being home, six months of stability, and three months of having Kagome back in his life on a regular basis have made him happy. It’s a feeling he didn’t think was possible, didn’t think he was worthy of. After all, when life has ceaselessly handed him cruel lessons, why would happiness even be an option? So when it all comes crashing down as he’s out running errands with Miroku, it doesn’t surprise him, but it still hurts like a motherfucker.

“It’s you.”

The words are scathing and resentful. He dreadfully lifts his gaze to meet the eyes of the person who seems to offended by his mere existence. She’s a petite woman with short black hair, but the animosity in her eyes belies her diminutive stature.

“How dare you?” Her tone is soft but punitive. “How dare you insert your filthy little hands back into Kagome’s life. She was finally moving on. She was happy. She was going to marry Akitoki, he would have taken care of her. He was good for her. But you couldn’t stay away. She broke off her engagement because of you. You’re taking advantage of her heart. She’s let go of her chance at happiness, and for what? To take care of you? A worthless little nobody who can’t wait for his next fix?”

The woman is viciously relentless. Her diatribe is unforgiving, slicing him to the very bone.

He is completely frozen. He wants to yell back at her, tell her that he’s quite aware of how he is undeserving of Kagome’s compassion and forgiveness. He knows that he’s been the cause of her pain and tears. He knows he’s gotten more second chances than he deserves. He knows her life was easier without him. He knows Kagome is better than him. He knows. Oh, he knows.

He vaguely registers that Miroku has taken a step between them and is reprimanding the woman. Eri, he remembers. She’d been a friend of Kagome’s through school and had been more than vocal of her disapproval of him even then.

Eri quickly turns her malice toward Miroku.

“You’re no friend of Kagome, letting this fuck-up back into her life.”

“That’s enough. I won’t allow you to continue vilifying Inuyasha. And Kagome is fully capable of deciding for herself who she associates with.”

Miroku’s tone is level, but Inuyasha can tell he is running out of patience. Miroku grips his elbow and guides him away from the venomous witch, but not before she can get a final word in.

“You should have stayed dead.”

He flinches then, her phrase echoing endlessly through his mind, settling into his gut and clawing at him from the inside.

Somehow Miroku gets them home, everything is a blur with that bitch’s voice reverberating in his skull. He hears Miroku’s voice, but he cannot focus on the words. All he understands is hatred and disgust. Everything he has worked for is worthless. Is this the way it’s always going to be?

She finds him on the back porch, sitting on the stairs, staring blankly toward the sunset. She sits beside him on the step and sighs. Her voice is weary.

“Miroku told me everything. I’m sorry that happened.”

“She wasn’t wrong.”

“What?” Her shock is more than evident. She clutches his forearm with both hands and he can sense her tears beginning to form, “How can you say that?”

He doesn’t dare look at her, he knows it’ll ruin his resolve. As low as he feels, he feels a ripple of anger brewing in his gut. Eri’s words have been festering in his brain, allowing an old and familiar voice to break through. He’s a half-breed, accepted but unlovable. He’s stupid and useless, completely unworthy of happiness. He’s committed too many wrongs to ever deserve redemption. It’s been a long time, but the feeling inside is one he’ll never forget. He’s craving a high to numb this pain, this goddamn fucking anger.

“If you want that perfect life, you should take it. I don’t want your fucking pity party. I know you look down on me. Poor Inuyasha and his asshole attitude. The only time he’s bearable is when he’s high as a damn kite and that’s only because he doesn’t know up from fucking down. Of course, the downside is that he might stop breathing.” He scoffs harshly, “Or, is that the upside?”

He knows his voice is bitter and that he’s gotten louder. It’s echoing the one Eri used earlier. He’s shaking from the anger, or is it something else? This scene feels all too familiar, almost like déjà vu; but somehow, it’s different now.

“Inuyasha. Stop.”

She’s pleading with him, her grip on his arm has gotten tighter. He knows she’s weeping openly; he can scent her tears and hear the stutter in her breath. It’s all too familiar. After all, this is what he’s good at: making her cry.

“Doesn’t fucking matter I’ve been clean three years. That’s all anyone will see, a fucking deadbeat addict. You’d be better off with that doctor. He can take care of you, pamper you. He’ll be enough. He’ll deserve you. That’s not me. That’ll never be me. All I’ll ever be is a fuck-up.”

“Don’t.”

She whimpers and lets her grip loosen. He’s sure she’s going to walk away, get back in her car and leave. He keeps his stare steady on the sun that has almost completely slipped beyond the horizon. There’s a war waging inside of him – his angels and demons come out to play. Not for the first time, he bitterly wonders if this continued sobriety is worth it. She’s going to leave, just as she should.

When her hand comes up and gently cups his cheek, he is completely undone. She tenderly moves his face, but he keeps his gaze downcast. Her hand is soft and warm to the touch as her thumb swipes away his tears. Of course she’s staying. Her bleeding heart won’t let her leave. He cries for her, her lost opportunities, her damn sympathetic selflessness. But she surprises him again in what she utters; and in her words, he finds hope.

“You have always been enough for me. I have always seen you. The you who loves me and would do anything to protect me. The you who acts tough because you’re scared of rejection. The you who wishes you could change the past. The you who is more determined and smarter than you realize. The you who has worked hard to conquer those shitty demons inside. That’s who I see.”

She sighs and he feels her whole body tremble.

“Every time you used, I was terrified. I was so scared that you wouldn’t wake up one day, that you’d stop breathing, that your heart would fail. That I would lose you. It made me angry, it’s why I pushed you so hard. I wanted you to get sober for me.”

He meets her eyes then, their pretty grey glimmers in what’s left of the sunlight through the sheen of her tears. In them he finds no pity, only benevolence. Everything she has said, he has heard her say before. He’s read it before. But this is why it isn’t a complete déjà vu, it’s different. It’s different because they are different. They have grown and she confirms it with her next statement.

“It was selfish. I wanted you to get sober, but you needed to do it for yourself.”

He reaches up to grasp her wrist, lightly squeezing in lieu of all the words he wants to say.

She lets the corners of her mouth turn upwards ever so slightly.

“And you did. You succeeded. I don’t know what you’ve been through these last few years, and maybe I’ll never know, but what I do know is that you came home. You did what you had to and came back to me, and I am prouder of you than you can ever imagine.”

She presses her lips to his forehead and gathers him in her arms. He allows himself to take comfort in her embrace because comfort is not happiness and is not so easily taken away.

He goes back to her apartment with her that night. Their apartment. It looks the same as the day he left. He is simultaneously comforted and haunted by the familiarity. This place that they made home together. Where they laughed and fought. Where he wasted his nights and she cared for him. This is where he had joy and lost it. This is where he left her.

She putters around the kitchen, putting the kettle on for tea. As she pulls two mugs from the cabinet, he realizes that they’re the matching set they painted for each other on a date some lifetime ago. She sees the recognition in his stare and begins to speak.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I kept everything the same.” She smiles timidly and her eyes are filled with earnest, “Everyone thought it was unhealthy, but it kept me sane. They tried to convince me to move out of here, and I was adamant that I wouldn’t – couldn’t. Because if you came home and found I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.”

She busies herself again, pulling out a tin of teabags and a sleeve of arrowroot cookies.

“And then as time went on and I started fearing the worst, I needed to hang onto my memories of you, of us. So, everything stayed the same. Even though I was moving forward with school and … eventually, Akitoki,” She glances downward, sheepish. “Home was my constant. It was me. It was you. It was us. It is us.”

He steps toward her. He has so many questions and a spark of hope is igniting in his veins.

“Why?”

The word hangs between them and he tries in vain to push that hope down, down, down. It is such a simple word, and yet holds so much impact.

She lifts her eyes to meet his, grey colliding with amber, understanding pouring through.

“We met when I started my residency. He was a third-year. At first, I didn’t pay him any mind, but he kept persisting. Eventually I figured meeting for coffee wouldn’t hurt.” She pauses, reaching for his hand. “You have to understand that you’d been gone for almost two years. I was lonely. And … and he was safe.”

She scoffs, grips his hand tighter, and leans fully on the counter.

“He was a proper gentleman. Waited a month before he kissed me the first time, even asked permission before he did. It was another month after that before we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. It was a bit of a surprise when he proposed on our anniversary. Obviously, I said yes – you saw the ring. Except, it felt wrong. It was all wrong. We hadn’t even talked about the future or even moving in together, hadn’t done more than kiss. But I guess that’s part of propriety. And yet, I said yes because it was safe, that stupid word.”

His mind is racing. Safe is not a word he has ever been associated with. What does it even mean? He searches her face for a clue, and anxiously waits for her to continue. This is a conversation they have not deigned to have yet in the three months since they’ve been friends again. The kettle is boiling rapidly now, but he knows that it’ll automatically shut off.

“Then five months later, you called me and this feeling I hadn’t felt in so long came rushing back. You were alive. It was like the clouds were finally parting after a heavy rain. I didn’t know what to expect when I came to pick you up, and this tiny part of me told me not to go, but it was right. I felt right again, but I was scared. So I stayed away. Then I heard from Sango and Miroku that you were working and doing well and I was missing out on that. I broke off the engagement. As much as he was sweet and safe … he wasn’t you.”

Tears are welling in her eyes and he feels his are getting misty as well. He steps and pulls all in one motion, wrapping his arms around her tightly. His heart is pounding out of his chest and that spark of hope is now a flame.

She draws in a haggard breath and mumbles against his chest.

He tilts his head down to look at her, silently pleading for her to repeat what she’s just said. His ears picked up her message, but he needs to know for sure.

She tips her chin upwards and shyly brushes her lips against his and repeats herself a little more loudly, “I love you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Her eyes darken and she presses a kiss to his jaw.

“Because you’re you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been away.”

He whimpers, “Kagome,”

She kisses him fully then, grasping his face to ensure he can’t pull away, not that he wants to. His heart is exploding. She has always been able to read him, know what he’s thinking. And she has always known what he needs most. This kiss is full of promises, assurances. This is real.

“You are important. You are loved. You are worthy of it all.”

She guides him to her bedroom. Their bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed in disbelief that he is back in this room. He can hardly believe that this woman is standing before him with love in her eyes. This amazing, beautiful, strong, resilient woman who is holding the door to happiness wide open. He only has to cross the threshold. He falters. Happiness is dangerous. Happiness is temporary. But she is here and he trusts her implicitly. With her, happiness is feasible.

With one look into her deep stormy eyes, he makes a choice.

“Kagome.”

Her name. The only word he seems capable of uttering. In her name he promises to try. Promises to treat her well, make up for the pain he has caused her. Promises to try and see himself through her eyes. Promises to be kinder to himself. Promises to help build their life together back up. He knows with her, they will succeed.

She caresses his face and drops her lips to meet his once again, resting her knees on either side of him. He clutches her waist and revels in the familiarity of her body pressed against his. Their motions are slow, meticulous, not dictated by hormones and lust. And they fall into a routine, a dance that hasn’t been done in years and yet they fall back into with practiced ease.

With every kiss she presses hotly into his skin, she whispers continuous affirmation.

You are enough.

You are worthy.

You are mine.

I love you.

He finds words still impossible to formulate and voice, so he allows his actions to speak for him. Each caress, each kiss, each touch is full of reverence and adoration. When he finally sinks into her and they become one, he truly feels like he is home. And all of his feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing begin to ebb, for it is the love of this woman and her unwavering belief in him that he can begin to heal.

As they settle into each other, heavy with the lure of sleep, he whispers in her ear, “I love you.”

She nestles into him closer and kisses his wrist.

For the first time, in a very long time, he feels worthy.

FINAL NOTES:

I wanted to mention some things as a bit of a debrief to this story, if you will. This is a story that is very personal for me and is quite heavy. Hopefully the ending was enough of a pleasant one to offset the weight a bit.

The way I designed this story, Inuyasha and Kagome are separated during the toughest part of his recovery. The decision to stay with or leave a partner with addiction is a difficult one and can be different for everyone, especially because addiction is so highly stigmatized. A lot of the time the person struggling already carries guilt. Addiction so very often stems from trauma, depression, and/or other forms of mental illness and these need to be addressed first.

Regardless of whether you stay or go, it is important to set boundaries for yourself. Addiction is often labeled as a third-party to relationships because it attempts to wear down the people involved and whittle them down to their weakest and worst. If you are supporting someone through addiction and an active part of their recovery, it is vital to remember self-care and recognize when you need to say no and that it is okay to do so. It is NOT your responsibility to "cure" them.

If you are somebody who cares for someone struggling with addiction, I am happy to share resources that I have found helpful if you would like to reach out.

On another note, I do have ideas about where and what Inuyasha was up to during his three-year absence. It would probably contain heavier content than this piece, but also be a bit more fantastical. If the inspiration hits or if there’s interest, I’ll probably try and write it. Anyway, comments and likes are love. Thank you so much for reading my return to fan fiction!

#inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fic #omg i'm writing again #inukag #tw: drugs #tw: addiction #angst #angst with a happy ending #angst with a hopeful ending #tw: low self esteem #tw: depressive thoughts #rated m

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fuckinuchihas · 4 years

Note

🌹 - Neji

Sorry this is so late I haven’t had wifi for like a month so thanks for being so patient <3 Also side note I really enjoyed writing this so I hope it’s okay!!

Neji insists that he doesn’t need to get married. He can lead the clan without distraction if he stays unattached and unencumbered by the weight of those kinds of things. It's a little easier to imagine having a child now that the main branch of the family has grown in a variety of ways. However, he isn’t about to let down his guard just because the peace they reached after the war, seems to be holding up fairly well.

His uncle is not pleased with this revelation.

As he is still the head of their clan, Neji does have some obligation to meet his demands but after the first, second, and third attempts of ‘urgent meetings’ that quickly devolve into arranged marriage contract negotiations, he’s at his limit.

He finally turns to Hinata for assistance but with her being married to the man she’s been in love with since she could barely walk, it’s not exactly helpful.

Neji doesn’t have a Naruto.

There’s no one that has drawn him in or piqued his interest in the slightest.

He really wishes his uncle would just stay out of it.

That is until Hinata tells him about an upcoming ceremony where an ambassador from the village hidden in the waterfalls is meeting with all the local clan leaders to discuss a political marriage for their next in command.

Marrying for money or privilege has never appealed to him, nor is he idealistic enough to put his faith in a cosmic power; be it fate, soulmates, or even something as abstract as love.

However, since the war, the land hidden in the waterfalls has rightfully felt cut off from the rest of the Land of Fire despite being centered between The Hidden Leaf Village and The Hidden Stone Village.

To have something to bond those in power wouldn’t be a terrible idea…

“Who all will be present?” Neji asks, almost surprising himself that he’s actually showing an interest.

“Unfortunately there’s not many clans with unmarried heirs. The Nara clan is sending their third in line, Shino has requested that he not be included, but he’ll probably have to make an appearance anyway, and...and the Fuma clan will be sending someone, though I’m not sure who.” she says, showing quite a bit of worry.

The Fuma clan is known for their aggression but none more than the most recently appointed heir. If not for how well things were already running, mostly due to Naruto’s heart and Shikmaru’s untouchable mind…

Well, to allow that man more power doesn’t sit right in his gut.

“Tell Uncle I’ll be in attendance,” he says, ignoring the way Hinata’s eyes widen in surprise. “It can never hurt to keep an eye on the Fuma clan.”

“I’ll let him know.”

Neji gently bows his head to her and takes off in another direction.

He has some research to do.

The night of the ceremony he’s dressed in his formal wear despite the discomfort that comes from it, and his hair has been neatly straightened and pinned. There’s a prickle of nervousness at his fingertips but he ignores it in favor of arriving just a few minutes before the other guests.

His uncle is giving him the most enthusiastic smile he’s seen from the man in years and it almost immediately makes him flinch back and turn around.

No...this was his plan he’ll see it through.

It will be fine if you take up with the Nara clan member or even Shino he supposes but if it looks as if the Fuma clan have the upperhand, he’ll step in.

He isn’t full of himself, knows it’s nothing to do with who he is, his hopes, dreams, desires, but his clan is well known throughout all the villages and he has been appointed to be their heir as soon as his Uncle wishes to step down.

Some nagging voice in the back of his mind is telling him that the old man is just waiting to marry him off before doing it.

Still, a contract with him is far superior to a contract with the Fuma clan and Neji understands the power of his position if nothing else.

When you arrive, your face is hidden entirely under a thick veil, he bows his head to you politely and you return the motion, the same for your father.

His uncle then proceeds to ‘keep casual conversation’ which in political rooms means something entirely different, as the four of you wait for the others to show up.

Shino is first, he stays humble and polite for a few moments but is suspiciously called to the school no more than five minutes after the introductions are over.

Neji tries not to envy him.

You’re soft spoken and quiet, Neji isn’t sure if that’s actually who you are or who you are in moments like this but he’s at least glad that you’re speaking on some topics as the conversation loops from one thing to another.

The young man from the Nara clan...well he can hardly be called a man. He’s probably only barely old enough to be married at all, is nervous and awkward which is slightly amusing to him, but clearly not a viable candidate.

Honestly, if you can just get things sewn up before Fuma gets he-

As if right on cue, the ceremonial curtain that was hung at the entrance of the room is loudly pulled away and in walks the overly entitled cesspool of DNA known as Fuma Ichizoku.

Servants follow him into the room despite the fact that marriage negotiations are meant to be private with only one advisor per each interested party.

“Hey there, why don’t you take all that off and let me get a look at your pretty face,” he says, then he steps toward you and you subtly back away from the advance. It’s just a small movement really, the curve of your back arching just a little.

It’s enough for him.

Neji wastes no time, he stands, politely bows to you and then meets Ichizoku head on.

“I’m afraid you’re no longer welcome in these talks. Bringing uninvited guests into a treaty signing is not allowed,” he says cooly, ignoring the gasp from his cohorts. “I would advise that you read up on the formalities of contract negotiations before entering into one.”

“Do you know who I am?” he asks, his words slurring a bit as the stink of alcohol invadesNeji’s air.

“A previous guest who has been uninvited, now please see your way out,” Neji answers, looking to his people. It is in vain because they are clearly too intimidated to do anything about his disruptive behavior.

In one quick, precise movement, Neji thumps his hand against the side of Ichizoku’s neck and he barely has time to start his complaint before crumpling to the floor.

He turns to you, eyes pale and gorgeous and he asks if you’d like to file a formal complaint. You quickly shake your head no before he turns back to the group that came in with him. “See to it that he gets home safely,” he says, but he makes a mental note to discuss this with Ichizoku’s father. If he can’t do better than this, he’s not fit to lead a clan of any kind, not even theirs.

They quickly carry him out of the room and Neji returns to his seat.

Your father scratches his chin with stoic features for a few beats before Neji watches the small uptick at the corner of his mouth and he feels a flood of something warm through him.

“I’ve heard rumors you were reluctant to marry…” he says, and Neji slowly bows and nods his head.

“That’s true yes...I had no altruistic intentions of marrying and having a family. I think-I thought it would be easier to lead my clan if I wasn’t concerned about a partner or children or returning home every night,” he says, but he looks to you, bows his head again, “But if I can be of use to my clan, to the people in my village, to the Allied Nations I want to do that. I want people in every hidden village to feel included in the peace that we’ve fought so hard to get,” he says, and he doesn’t think he’s talked this much in a while but it still doesn’t feel like enough.

“So not for money or love, but political marriage interests you?”

“It’s not that, sir. I just think that when you’re part of something greater than yourself or your clan, it gives you a sense of purpose and I believe anyone who experiences that is more invested in maintaining those ideals and feelings,” he says, and you find yourself smiling under the veil.

“And you think you can share that feeling with our people?” he asks, and Neji goes quiet, lost in his thoughts for a moment.

Hiashi tries to cover the silence but your father just waits for him, observes him and waits.

“To be honest sir, I’m not entirely sure I’m the best person for that. Until recently I was blind to most of the world outside the Hyuga compound,” he says, pausing to take a breath. “Perhaps you could find a better match elsewhere. Someone more open and kind. You see, I’m not very personable. Even my teammates and closest friends find me difficult…”

“Well I certainly didn’t expect quite that much honesty,” your father says, a hearty laugh bubbling out of his chest.

“Sir?”

“You’ll do fine, young Hyuga. You’ll do just fine.”

“I’m not sure I understand…”

“The contracts can be amended if you find something to your dislike but read over them and make your decision. I know we’re eager to officially join in the peace treaty and have such respectful and honest allies at our backs.”

Neji looks to you like he’s expecting you to stop him or something but you just nod your head in agreement and let him look over the pages, your skin tingling with anticipation.

You wait, breath feeling trapped in your throat as his eyes skim over the document when his signature is finalized across the bottom, you feel yourself smiling.

#Vday event #kel answers #my stuff #naruto #neji hyuga #neji x reader #not knb #not haikyuu!!#sorry its so late!!

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sinsbymanka · 4 years

Note

Hey. I'm sorry. So. Your post about sunseekerknight is really long and it seems out of date. I thought everything had been resolved and she promised to make amends but this all started back around again and it sounds like your issue isn't solved. Can you update me real quick? Sorry.

Thanks for being polite and coming to me. I’ll try to summarize things to the best of ability while also noting this is kinda a clusterfuck. It got long, so it’s under a cut.

In March 2020, I commissioned @sunseekerknight (I’m blocked so I can’t actually @ her) to do a Tarot Card commission of my Inquisitor for $80. I sent the money via PayPal friends and family as she requested which is something I no longer do for artists, even though I’d done it before with no problems.

The main post goes over my initial experience really well - the repeated attempts at contact and missed deadlines. This post was made on June 18, 2020 and blew up. I informed Ada that day I was making the post and she told me she’d be doing so as well.

I’d already filed the PayPal claim which was ultimately denied because I’d sent the money via friends and family, despite SSK’s assurances she’d help me resolve it in my favor.

I didn’t hear from SSK after this and I didn’t contact her. My father passed away on June 20th and I was busy dealing with the personal fallout of that (he’d been in the hospital the whole month of June as it was) so my priorities swung towards processing my own grief and planning what happens next.

On July 10th, my PayPal claim was denied. I forwarded the claim to SSK with the following message:

I want to inform you that PayPal has indicated, due to the way you asked me to send the funds (friends and family), they are unable to provide any sort of refund based on their policies. It is your responsibility to make the refund.

Because of the history of fraud I've uncovered, I will be pursuing this further. I am, in particular, asking PayPal to mark this account as one used for fraudulent transactions and scamming money before closing it. My hope is that this account is in your real name and that getting this account marked for fraud has real consequences you have to live with.

I honestly didn’t expect to hear from SSK again, but I did on July 12th:

Oh, I see. Now the difficult situation has become even more difficult. I'm sorry to say this, but, as I said earlier, I had only two offers for people affected by my actions - a PayPal dispute or finished art. And since PayPal is useless in this situation, all I can offer you - is art. I’m still ready to finish your commission because I don't want you to be left with nothing. I would like to return the money, really, but it will take time and I don't know how much, considering the current situation on Tumblr. I still want to resolve this issue peacefully, despite what is happening now. I know that you don't trust me, and I understand this, as well as the fact that you are disappointed, angry, etc., but still I want to do at least something so as not to leave the situation as it is now. But if this is your final decision, then okay, I understand and accept it.

This message struck me as victim blaming. I am, after all, responsible for the situation on Tumblr which means she can’t get commissions. I reacted with some venom and my tone is not great here, but I do ask you to understand the frame of mind I was in here on July 13th:

I don't think it's fair to claim that PayPal is being unhelpful in this situation when it is you who are refusing to refund money for a service that was purchased and not completed. I think it would make me feel better if you started phrasing the "situation" in a way that took responsibility for it. Such as: "I cannot refund the money to you myself, because I spent it before delivering what you paid for, and I cannot get your dispute resolved through PayPal because I asked you to send the payment a specific way that precludes disputes."

I also feel hurt that immediately after I sent my email on Friday, you blocked me from Tumblr and turned all your social media accounts private. I can't think of why you would do this when you claim to still want to resolve this and when I have been more than kind. I find it difficult to believe that you didn't know what my review would cause - it sounds to me like this is something that has been brewing for awhile. Frankly, I'm amazed it took three years. I would also appreciate if, instead of blaming the "situation" on Tumblr for your inability to receive new commissions, you began taking responsibility for that as well. May I suggest: "My actions in the past three years have harmed many people and they are angry about it with good cause. Because I have damaged my reputation to a great extent, I will probably not receive many, if any, people willing to pay me money for commissions."

I fully expect to receive nothing from you: art or my money returned. When speaking with PayPal on Friday, they advised the only way to shut your PayPal account down is if I file a criminal complaint with the IC3, which is the US's Internet Crimes division of the FBI. I did so and sent them the screenshots I have of all our conversations, your posts on Tumblr, and links to the posts of other people who publicly came out regarding the same behavior they experienced. I'm uncertain I can withdraw my complaints from both PayPal and the IC3, and if I could I don't think I would. I'm sure this isn't something that is high priority for them, but I assume eventually they will contact you to discuss your actions. The way I see it, you have three options at this point in time:

Find some way to issue a refund to me, and any other customers you've wronged. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a refund was eventually issued in my case.

Deliver the art you promised to me, and any other customers. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a product was eventually delivered in my case.

Continue to ignore what you've done and hope that no real consequences come of it.

As to the art, I don't want it anymore. It has been tainted by this awful experience and I will not enjoy it. I will, however, accept it if you choose to do it to lessen whatever consequences you may end up facing because, truly, I'd rather you learn from this than end up with financial or legal consequences that are even more burdensome.

Honestly. I never expected to hear from SSK again. But I did because this is the drama that never ends. On July 20th:

I must apologize for the long silence. Sorry, I just got home from an unexpected vacation with my family, and I followed the advice of my parents and friends - spend these days away from work and the Internet to feel better. As I said, I understand you. You sound reasonable and you are totally right - it is my responsibility for that. And I'm trying to work it out, even if these are rather strange ways. And it wasn't about you personally. This was part of another problem with a friend I was trying to protect, and I followed the advice to keep the accounts private during the "war" and block some people on the tumblr during this time to avoid any collisions. But still, I was available for correspondence via email, and now all my accounts are again freely available. I know how it looks like, especially for you, when you have really been more than kind to me, and I cannot apologize enough to somehow change and improve this situation. I just fucked up on all fronts and I admit it. And I see, yes. I don't mind returning your art or money, it's just a matter of time. These are not days, these are weeks or months, and it is solely a matter of your patience. If you do not mind waiting, then I will try to return the money to you, since you no longer want art for obvious reasons. I understand and accept it, and it's okay. If you're willing to wait, I'll keep you informed of the refund situation and will do it as soon as I can.

You’ll note earlier I told you I can’t tag SSK cause I’m blocked. I’ve never been unblocked since July despite her saying she would. This is also the last email I got from SSK. I’ve had no communication since to my knowledge.

At this point in time I was tired. Really tired. It was bad news I got this email exactly a month after my father passed because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. This is my second to last email to SSK in response also on July 20th:

Please feel free to do what you need to do to manage the situation. For my part, I have said and done all I can. I have asked for a refund for a service you have been unable to provide in a reasonable time frame, and thus you are legally obligated to return my money in the same reasonable time frame. That time frame has passed already.

When I am contacted by authorities about this matter in response to my complaints, I will tell them you have promised refunds but have not delivered. The only thing you could do to change this answer is to issue a refund before I am contacted.

This exchange is draining and unhelpful for me. I ask that you please do not contact me again until you are ready to issue a refund.

On September 25th, I was informed SSK had successfully opened commissions on Twitter and Instagram. This spurred me to send one final email:

I've been informed you recently reopened commissions to buy yourself something and met your goal, even though you only advertised on Twitter and Instagram.

I would like to remind you that I'm still owed a refund AND you shouldn't spend that commission money until you deliver on that art. Please do not rip and entire new group of people off.

There are other people, in the notes of the original post, who can attest to terrible experiences similar to mine. In particular, @starsandskies, @vorchagirl, and @charlatron have all come forward to talk about what she’s done and their experiences. Her pattern seems to be to open commissions, deliver a few, have the rest dragged out of her, and then to not do other ones. I drew the short straw this time.

I don’t know if she’s reading this - if she is, at this point all I really want is an apology, a list of people who are waiting for art/refunds from her, and a plan as to how she’s going to make it right. If she doesn’t do those things, I suspect I’m going to keep getting dragged back into this cluster for awhile to talk about my experiences.

If you’re waiting for artwork Non, open PayPal disputes and file complaints if you need to. The sooner the better.

#manka answers asks #sunseekerknight #this again #I'm tired of it again #sorry guys

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commonwealthoccurences · 3 years

Text

Pretty Wishes

CW: Dark themes expected with Fallout 4. Mildly suggestive content (I love villains I’m sorry).

There’s something testing the waters in the depths of Sole’s eyes, swimming, dark and steady, drowning out the flickering campfire light reflected in their gaze. They were distracted, noticeably so, as they rubbed their fingertip over their upper lip. [C] watched them carefully.

Ever since they met, Sole had been trying their hardest to be a good person, [C] knew. [p]’d had glimpses of their past, through the people they’d run into that either ducked and ran or tried to confront them, and whenever Sole would slip up and mention something they’d done. It wasn’t pretty, the sights that greeted them when they got a peek through the curtain.

And so [p] left their past to them, respectfully and quietly, letting them hold it close to their chest as they tried to make amends with whatever had occurred that they didn’t want to discuss. But [p] would see it on their face and in the way that they struggled not to punch a little too hard during interrogations with raiders, the way they didn’t flinch when blood spattered across their face. They’d had practice with it, obviously, it was nothing new to them.

But Sole swore they’d changed, and [C] acknowledged it. [p] reassured them when they gritted their teeth and their hands were shaking from anger they were holding back, just barely, that they were doing well and that [p] was proud of them. Sole would force a smile onto their face in return and slowly ease back. [C] would pat them on the shoulder and pray that their patience would never break.

Regardless, [p] still trusted them. [p] only thought for a second before leaning back against [p] sleeping bag and tucking [p] legs into the fabric, eyes still locked on [p] companion. Sole hadn’t blinked, despite all the movement from [C]; they were staring off into the distance, at something [C] knew [p] wouldn’t see no matter how hard [p] tried. The weight of Sole’s choices, past and present, wore down on [C]’s tolerance for their antics. It was hard to feel as if you had to hold someone else up as they fought themself to not destroy the things everyone cared about. [C] rolled over, away from the dying campfire and Sole’s mindless gaze, and stared off into the surrounding trees.

It was barely dawn when [C] awoke, the morning damp with fog, heavy and thick and drowning the world in gray tones. There was no heat against [p] back, nothing to indicate that [p] wasn’t alone in the spattering of trees that surrounded [p]; [p] rolled over and was greeted with mere emptiness. The fire had smoldered out long ago, [p] could tell from the way the ash had long settled, darkened with the morning dew. There was a space of dispersed foliage, grass matted down from where Sole had sat before [C] had slept. Something in [p] could still feel their sights locked onto the distance.

First, [p] was angry. Sole may not be the best person, but [p] certainly hoped they knew better than to leave [p] in the middle of the woods on [p] own, with nothing to guard [p] from the critters and whoever may wander through. Then, [p] felt [p] stomach sink. They had simply left, without a word, and no justification to [C], and [p] knew that [p] was unlikely to ever see them again.

Unlikely was correct. It was many months later before [p] ran into Sole again, admittedly sooner than [p] ever expected to see them again. [C] had ended up in Bunker Hill, looking for something. What for, [p] didn’t know, but [p] path had taken [p] to the small trading post, weaving through the settlers. Then, [p] noticed settlers scattering away from the entrance, eyes cast downwards for the most part, not running but visibly uncomfortable. And so, ever the poor decision maker, [C] made [p] towards the front of Bunker Hill, careful not to run into any of the settlers deserting the scene. It seemed poetic, the way [p] eyes fell upon Sole.

They were decked out to the nines in armor, far more protected than [C] had ever seen them before. An attempt to increase how intimidating they are, [p] thought, and it seems to be working. Were they proud of that? Were they only happy when people were shying away from them, if no one could get near them? Was it a literal guard, or were they putting up more barriers than visible?

[C] had to bite their tongue. [p] was resisting the urge to call out to them, to challenge them in some way that would make [p] recognize the person they recognized, that fought so hard to change. That’s when, without a peep from [p], Sole turned and met [p] eyes.

Somehow, despite the layers of armor and the harsh, stony look on their face, Sole was more recognizable than ever, more comfortable in their skin than [p] had ever seen them. And it was slightly sickening; the settled, easy look in their eyes that contrasted so harshly to that night next to the campfire. Like they had swallowed the flames and were consumed by the fire, confident in the destruction they could bring with them.

Their chin was tilted up, confident and bold, and [p] knew that no matter how short or tall Sole was, they would be looking down their nose at everyone regardless. They seemed entertained by the way [C] continued to meet their eyes, despite their haughty attitude that indicated they weren’t used to that behavior. After a word to the companion they had by their side, a shorter man with an eyepatch and a mohawk, they began to walk over to [C].

[P] would later pride [p]self in the fact that [p] didn’t flinch away, despite the echoing footsteps of their armor and the way [p] could feel the heaviness of their reputation and ego swallowing them whole. With a simple wave of their hand, they seemed to invite [C] to speak to them, or maybe it was a demand. [P] wasn’t sure why [p] followed, but [p] found [p]self drifting after them.

It was silent between the two through the thin paths of Bunker Hill, until they reached a leaning shack at the back of the settlement; some sort of store that had been abandoned, maybe, but [p] didn’t have long to contemplate it before Sole was speaking. “So?” They asked.

Bold, considering they were the one that had led [p] to the back of the settlement to speak to [p], but somewhat unsurprising considering the energy they were giving off. “So, what?” [C] crossed their arms over their chest and returned their attitude with an unimpressed tilt of [p] head.

“You were staring. You obviously want to say something, considering you were nearly choking on your words trying to keep them in.” Sole was just as far up their own ass as expected. [P] fought the urge to roll [p] eyes.

Instead, [p] studied them once again for just a moment. There was something in their demeanor that oozed expectation, and perhaps [p] was projecting, but it seemed desperate for commentary, like they were waiting for [C] to comment on how different they were, how much they had changed. Maybe they wanted fear, or for [p] to be impressed; it wasn’t [C] who was choking back the urge to say something, but Sole who was choking back the impatience for them to open their mouth. “You said you were trying to change.” [C] mused aloud.

“Oh, please, sweetheart. Don’t be so naive. People can’t change. At least, not me.” There was a leering smirk on their face that only served to fuel the disgust in the pit of [p]’s stomach. They lifted their hand and gripped [C]’s chin between their thumb and forefinger, examining [p] face methodically. Despite the front, they were curious, searching their expression for fear and their skin for scars. “That’s just pretty wishes, expecting me to change. I can appreciate the sentiment, though.” Their tone was teasing as they scraped a nail down [C]’s jaw.

“Do you want me to fit into your world that badly? Hmm? That desperate for just an ounce of company? You almost remind me of why I tried in the first place.” For just a moment longer they kept their steel grip on [C]’s face, then, “Almost.” Their sneer dropped into a chilling menace, as if they remembered all the reasons they couldn’t bear to keep trying.

With a harsh jerk of their hand, they pushed [C]’s face to the side, sending the intolerably warm wave of whiplash crawling up [p] neck, turning into a grimace that spread across [p] face. In the time that [p] face was turned away, Sole shifted and reached down to [p] side. They pulled [p] dagger out of its sheath and turned it over, examining it in the sunlight that bled through the boarded up windows of the shack. With a light, contemplative hum, they looked back to [C] and tapped the blade of the dagger against [p] cheek. The light, cocky expression returned. “For the memories.” They lifted the dagger in emphasis before turning and leaving, an easy, nauseatingly confident swing in their steps. This time, [C] hoped that was the last time [p]’d see them.

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thebmatt · 3 years

Text

FFXIV Write 2021 Prompt #9: Friable

Word count - 1550

Friable – easily crumbled.

“Makoto, what’s going on? Why are we at this random warehouse?”

Makoto briefly stopped as she walked down the offices. She didn’t like lying to her girlfriend, but it wasn’t the right time yet to tell her the full truth. “You’ll….you’ll see, Fearless. Please, just trust me.”

“I do trust you, you know that. Oooh, is this a secret midday rendezvous?” Fearless’ voice became sultry. “Dilapidated office, eh? Didn’t know you’d be into this kinda thing. I like this side of you!”

Makoto giggled, in spite of her apprehension. “No, no, my love! We’re not here for that! Just…through here, please.” She gestured to a door.

Fearless opened it. Inside was a conference room, occupied simple table, chairs, and two miqo’tes seated at them. “Well well, Ranaa and Rheika? Okay, clearly not a midday rendezvous. So uh….why exactly are we all here?”

Ranaa Mhigo, her other girlfriend, stood up to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She was attired in casual Hingan dress. The blue tones matched well against her darker skin tone, Fearless noted. She’d have to remember this shade when buying her gifts.

Ranaa quickly embraced Makoto, and then she gestured for Fearless to sit in the chair opposite Rheika, dressed in one of her shinobi outfits. She and Makoto sat in the chairs that were flanking her.

Rheika smiled. “Heya hon.”

“Hiya, Rheika.” Fearless replied. She looked between the other two women. “You uh…wanna tell me what I’m doing here? What we’re all doing here? Why are you in Kugane anyway, I thought you were busy coordinating with the Bozjans?”

Rheika waved her off. “Things are currently cooled off there. Gave me a chance to deal with another matter. Remember those mercenary gangs that kept coming after you every so often?”

“The ones my parents kept sending after me? Of course I do. But they stopped. The last one was that Ala Mhigan outfit, right after the liberation. They confessed when they realized I was a Warrior of Light and said they would tell them they couldn’t find me. Why, did something happen?”

Rheika nodded. “A few days ago, Makoto’s people stumbled onto evidence that a mercenary group called the Emerald Marauders had arrived in Kugane in secret. Nasty bunch operating out of the fringes of the Shroud. She brought in a few of their people, and they confessed under interrogation that they’d been hired to retrieve someone. Someone that matched an old description of you.”

Fearless stood, slamming her hands onto the table. “Did they say where the rest of them are? We have to take them down, I’m not letting these scum-“

Rheika held her hands up “Hold on, let me finish, girl.”

Fearless sat down, but the determined and angry look on her face didn’t go away.

“The Sekiseigumi raided the warehouse they gave up. This warehouse, actually. The Marauders….did not go quietly. You can imagine how things went down. The Sekiseigumi killed them all”

Fearless turned to Makoto “Did anyone get hurt? Please tell me no one died!”

Makoto smiled lovingly at her. She would never stop being in love with her and her caring heart. “No, my love. A few minor wounds, nothing our healers couldn’t handle.”

Fearless sighed in relief, then turned back to Rheika. “All right. What happened next?

Rheika continued on. “After everything went down, they started going through the papers the mercs had left behind. They found copies of letters…sent to your parents. Ones that told them everything about you. What you’d done as a Warrior of Light, what you were capable of, and worst of all, who you lived with. These people knew you were in love with two women, and they passed that information back to your parents.”

Fearless gripped both of her girlfriends hands. “Oh, Twelve. If they decide leak that…”

Rheika shook her head. “Not good. But they also got greedy. They tried to shake your parents down for more money. Claimed that you were too tough and had too many allies for them to risk it at the previous fee. They demanded double.”

“Doesn’t matter how much they ask for, cause thei diots were never going to collect.” Ranaa snarled.

“They also found a reply from your father. Among a whole lot of language calling their claims about your deeds and strengths nothing more than lies, it was also full of veiled threats, and a notice that he was coming to Kugane to personally oversee your capture. He told them the exact day and time to expect him….and it was the afternoon of the same day as the raid”

Fearless looked confused. “Wait…my father is already here? When was this raid??”

Makoto gently squeezed her hand. “It was yesterday, dearest. And we….already handled it”

“What do you mean?? What…what happened?”

Rheika leaned forward. “Makoto called me. She wanted our help dealing with your father without endangering anyone in the city. So Franks, Dahk, and I teleported to the city and we quickly threw a plan together. I’d pose as a member of the Marauders, tell your parents we found out about their leader’s attempt to extort more money from them, and got rid of him and took over the crew. It worked, he bought it. Your mother was there too.”

Fearless’ grip tightened around her girlfriends’ hands, but she didn’t respond. Rheika continued.

“I brought them here, where we had the rest of ‘the marauders’, actually Franks, Dahk, and members of the Sekiseigumi. I separated them from most of their bodyguards to discuss the final plan to capture you, and we took them all down.”

“I gave your folks a choice, sweetie. I told them they were going to leave you alone, permanently. They could do so of their own volition, and never bother you again, or they could refuse and the Sekiseigumi would find them guilty of smuggling weapons into Kugane intended for the Garleans and bar their company’s ships from docking here. I’d recommend the Eorzean Alliance do the same.”

She folded her hands in front of her face, and closed her eyes. “Honestly, I fully expected it would provoke some kind of emotional reaction.Like….maybe faced with the real choice of giving you up forever or having their business ruined, they’d have some kind of epiphany and start to make amends. Maybe scream threats or whatever. But…they didn’t. They just crumbled. Gave up in the face of the loss of their business. I was shocked.”

Rheika reached over and covered Fearless’ hands. “Twelve, honey, I really don’t want to tell you this, but I don’t feel right keeping it from you. Your mom….she said ‘Syhrwyda is dead to us’. I remember being so angry, I wanted to just punch her. Instead I threw it back in her face. Said that ‘Syhrwyda’ died a long time ago, and the woman who rose from her ashes was someone they should have been proud of, and it was disgusting that they wouldn’t be.”

Makoto smiled at Fearless. “The exact words Rheika used were ‘confident, kindhearted, caring, and strong’.”

Rheika chuckled “Yeah, okay, that. Well it’s true. You are all of that. And they’re idiots for not realizing it. Or caring. Anyway, yeah, that’s the whole story. We wanted to tell you together, but we had to wait until Ranaa was available for us to bring her up to speed. Didn’t want to hit you and her with this at the same time.”

Fearless glanced over to Makoto, her face hurt. “Why would you not bring me in? Why keep me out of it until now?”

“I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t know how they would react upon seeing you. We felt it was best to keep you out of the situation so we could best control how and when we would stop them. You and I both know you wouldn’t have accepted that, and would place yourself at risk rather than us.”

Fearless looked down again. “No, I probably wouldn’t have. And yeah…you were right. You stopped them without risking any civilians or getting anyone seriously hurt.”

Ranaa wrapped her arms around Fearless’ bicep. “How…how are you doing, baby?”

Fearless turned to her and smiled. “You know what? I’m fine. I’m actually great. Honestly it feels really good knowing it’s over. They never cared what I want, I’m not surprised they didn’t believe what I’ve become, what I’ve done. I was nothing but another tool for them to use. Well, they haven’t been able to hurt me for a long time, and now they can’t ever again. So yeah, I’m good. Honestly? Thank you all for getting them out of my life. You guys are the only family I want or need. So, hey, ramen lunch on me!”

Fearless stood up, smiling, and held out her arms for her girlfriends to take. They both looked over to Rheika, who nodded happily. Ranaa and Makoto stood up and took her arms, and the quartet left the office to enjoy a lovely lunch together.

That evening, Fearless lay in bed at her home in Shirogane, quietly weeping as her lovers held her, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing sounds. Although she was not surprised by this outcome, the finality of that severed bond would likely always be a dull ache as time passed.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Fearless Willow #Rheika Aliapoh #FFXIV 2021 Writing Challenge #Hopefully this is the last time I gotta break my Roegadyn's poor heart

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