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felassan · 4 years ago

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Mass Effect development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

This is the Mass Effect version of this post.

[In case you can’t read it the subtitle in the bottom left logo above is “Guardians of the Citadel”]

Note: Drug use is mentioned.

Cut for length.

Mass Effect 1

ME began its life in a vision document in fall 2003

Codenamed “SFX”

Conceived of by Casey Hudson and a core team from KotOR. Its genesis was the intention to create an epic sci-fi RPG in an original setting that BioWare owned (so they could have full creative control), and in a setting that was conceived of first and foremost as a video game

Initially players could control any squadmate, but they wanted it to be about Shep and for players to be focused on Shep being a battlefield commander, rather than on switching bodies

By the start of 2004 its story was shaping up. Initially humans landed on Mars in 2250 and discovered evidence of an ancient alien race and a powerful substance, Black Sand, which rapidly advanced tech to the point that FTL travel was possible. (My note: obviously now the Prothean artifacts on Mars & associated mass effect force tech enabled this in the final canon, but I wonder if aspects of the ‘Black Sand’ naming-type & powerful substance stuff was rolled into red sand from final canon) Humans were suddenly capable of travel to multiple star systems and made contact with a multitude of other species. At the start of the first game, these species together with humans had a fragile peace, with focus placed on the political center of the galaxy, a hub known as Star City, later renamed the Citadel

Multiplayer was a vision for the series as far back as 2003. The plan was for ME1, an Xbox exclusive at launch, to take advantage of the platform’s online components. Early designs saw players meeting in one of the central hubs to interact and trade items in their otherwise SP adventures

By 2006 it had the name ME and the story was more specific, with the theme of conflict between organic and synthetic lifeforms. The story’s scope now stretched across 3 games and included scope for full co-op MP

They tried to do MP in every game, discussing it from the get-go, but it always just fell by the wayside. “When you’re trying to build something that is a new IP, on a new platform, with a new engine, you’ve got to really focus on the core elements of the game.”

The conversation system prototype was made in Jade Empire, and some of ME’s earliest writing was done in an old JE build. At first there was no conversation wheel. Paragon was “Friendly” and Renegade “Hostile”. In the prototype Shep was a silent unnamed Spectre. Many conversations in the prototype about the player’s choice in smuggling a weapon through Noveria made it into the game

In said prototype a merchant referred to themselves as “this one”, though the word hanar never appeared. The PC in it also had the option to end a conversation with “I should go”. In the prototype also, Harkin was voiced by Mark Meer

An early version of the Mako got used as the krogan truck in ME2

Early concepts of the Citadel were drawn in pencil by CH. A piece of concept art of its final design was painted based on a photo of a sculpture near Aswan, Egypt

As with any new IP naming it was a struggle. They put out a call to all staff for ideas, did polls, made a name generator that combined words that they liked in random ways and made pretend logos of ones they liked in Photoshop to see if they could make themselves love the name or find visual potential in it. (Some of these names are in the pic at the top of this post.) CH liked “Unearthed” as it was a reference to Prothean ruins dug up on Mars and humanity’s ascendance going away from Earth. They knew the game would have a central space station featuring prominently so some of the ideas were based on that - “The Citadel”, “The Optigon”, “The Oculon”. “Element” was another one they had in mind due to the rare substance in the game

CH: “I was a big fan of John Harris’ book Mass, which had epic-scaled sci-fi ideas, so that was a word that came up often. Many of the names came from the idea that the IP featured a fifth fundamental physical force (in addition to the known four of gravitational, electromagnetic, strong nuclear and weak nuclear) so the word ‘effect’ came up pretty often.” Ultimately none of the ideas really felt right. One Monday morning they were going over the names and Greg Zeschuk said he had an idea on the weekend: “Mass Effect!” CH: “I said, ‘I don’t hate it’, which in the naming process is a high compliment. And it stuck!”

CH on Shep’s Prothean vision from the beacon: “It was hard to imagine how we would do this. CG was - and is - really expensive. Instead I wanted to try doing it through photography and video editing. So I went to a local grocery store and bought a few packages of the weirdest looking meat that I could find. Then I set up a little photoshoot in my basement, complete with some electronics parts and some red wine for juicyness.” He used these props to create a video sequence where the photos were rapidly cycled and blurred, along with production paintings, to create the scary vision an organic/machine experiment on the Protheans. These mashups were also used as inspiration for concept artists and level designers who were working on these themes

Tali used to be called Talsi

On the licensing side they often joke that they’re licensing N7 not “Mass Effect” due to N7′s popularity

There was a confidential internal guide to the IP in 2007 to help devs along and summarize/synthesize the vision etc. Some excerpts from it are shown in the book and this is the first time the public have ever seen them

Early versions of Asari had hair

Asari were designed as a nod to classic TV sci-fi (with human actors wearing obvious makeup and prosthetics to play aliens)

The turian design guideline was “we want them to be birds of prey”. They also wanted a range of alien types, some close to human like Asari, while others were to be a lot further away, like turians

BioWare patented the conversation wheel, which was a first for them. CH had been frustrated with reviews of Jade Empire that said that the actioncentric game was too wordy [with its list dialogue]. “I’m like, story is words. [...] What is it about our games that is making people feel like they’re wordy?” Then he thought “In a game you kind of need to feel like you’re continuing to play it. Maybe you should continue feeling like you’re playing it actively into the dialogue.” “[The wheel] kind of gave a new experience with dialogue when you did start to react based on emotion, and that’s ultimately what we’re trying to bring out in our games”

The original krogan concept was based on a bat “with a really wide squidgy face. We just used its face on top of this weird body and it kinda worked”

Geth musculature was based on fiber-optic cables, with flexible plates of armor attached

The vision for the IP was 80s sci-fi inspired space opera

The concept art of Saren lifting Shep by the throat inspired a similar scene in-game. The staging wasn’t planned til designers saw that art

A squadmate with Shepard on the way to meet Ash in an old storyboard was called Carter. Early name of Kaidan or Jenkins?

Bono from U2 was kinda instrumental in bringing us ME lol

Finding the right cover art for ME1 was notably tricky

Matt Rhodes got his start drawing helmets for ME1, including one which would become Shep’s “second face”. He estimates he drew between 250-270 different ones

Some of the sounds in-game were people smashing watermelons with sledgehammers and sticking fists into various goos

The audio team had fun trying to slip the iconic main theme into unexpected places throughout the MET. “We were very aware of how powerful that track was for the fans and it was tempting to overuse it for any moment we wanted to make really emotional”.

The theme was creatively repurposed in ME3: slowed down and reworked as the ambient sound for the SR-2. “If you listen to it for a really long time, just stand in the Normandy and listen, you’ll actually hear the notes change slowly. It doesn’t sound like music, it sounds like a background ambiance, but it’s there.” (My note: Well no wonder the Normandy feels so much like home?? 😭 sneaky..)

Bug report: “Mako Tornado”. There wasn’t enough friction between the tires and the ground, causing testers to lose control of the vehicle and send it spinning into the air like a tornado. “As it turns, the front end comes up, and then it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning faster and faster and faster until it just flies up in the sky” (My note: Sounds like a regular day in the Mako to me)

Cerberus originally had a bigger role in this game. It was cut but they had a whole explorable outpost. “I called it Misery,” says Mac Walters, “It was this planet with a little outpost that said ‘Welcome to Misery’”. Everything on the outpost was shit - dirty worn stuff, no windows, no kitchen, the vehicle bay was open to the elements etc

The Reaper sound is literal garbage. Some audio designers went on a recording trip to a national park. One of them got fixated on a garbage can, “a metal bear-proof receptacle with a heavy lid that creaked horribly when opened”. “It was like, ominous, spooky, tonal and almost musical. I decided to throw a mic into the garbage and record it moving. I didn’t know what it was going to be until later”

They were making lots of noises to record like throwing logs and rocks around. An old couple peered at them through the window of their camper van in the woods and must have called the cops because then the cops showed up, pulled them over and told them to stop. The cops towed their car (the driver’s plates were Cali plates and expired), drove them to Edmonton outskirts and then the audio producer Shauna got a call and had to go pick them up “like three little boys”. “We got a stern talking to”. Once back they were playing around with the garbage sound, editing it etc. Casey heard it and proclaimed “That’s the sound of the Reapers”

Preston Watamaniuk: “There are things I could have done to Mass 1 to make it an infinitely better game with better UIs” and some simple cuts and changes. “But when you’re living with it, it’s very hard to see those things”

BioWare Labs

As social media and smartphone games exploded, BioWare dedicated a small team dedicated to exploring opportunities here - BioWare Labs

Mass Effect: Galaxy used a unique graphic art style and static visual presentation common in visual novels. It has the distinction of being the only iOS game BW have made during their first 25 years

Scrapped ideas were a 3rd person space shooter called Mass Effect: Corsair and 2 DA titles - a strategy game and a top-down dungeon crawler starring young Wynne. (My note: Maybe the corsairs stuff was rolled into Jacob’s backstory in 2, the Alliance Corsairs)

Corsair was a very short-lived project that never got its feet under it. It was a spin-off on Nintendo DS featuring a behind-the-ship perspective and branching dialogue. At one point it had MP. The idea behind it was basically “ME: Freelancer” - fly your ship around, do missions, get credits. It had a limited branching story but was a gameplay-centered experience intended to fill the gap between ME1 and 2. That gap ended up being filled by Galaxy

Galaxy and Corsair’s smaller screen allowed concept artists to use bold colors and a simplistic character design style to help those games stand out from Shep’s story

Nick Thornborrow did some art for Corsair but was worried his art style didn’t fit ME. He moved to DA where he feels his art style fits better

Lots of BioWare VAs and even a lead writer and the VO director are drawn from Edmonton’s local community theater scene, which is vibrant. Think this is how Mark Meer got involved

Mass Effect 2

Player choices carrying over was a first for BW

Dirty Dozen-inspired plot

Its plot is a web of conditionals (see Suicide Mission)

Was more of a shooter than anything BW had made since Shattered Steel

There was 2 camps on the team, those who wanted to push combat and systems forward and redefine the ME experience and those who wanted to make a true sequel, with the same gameplay and systems but a new story. Karin Weekes: “I think it ended up being a good push-pull. It felt like a pretty healthy creative conflict”

“ME2 was a game you could hold up to someone who argues that games aren’t a serious medium and go ‘Oh yeah, then why is Martin Sheen in this?’” Sheen was their first pick for TIM

The idea for TIM came from a mash-up of concepts CH had collected over the years. The name “Illusive” originally came from his pitch for naming DAO’s Eclipse engine, a word inspired by Obi-Wan’s line “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something... elsewhere. Elusive”. “I thought, what if we called our next engine 'Elusive', but used an ‘I’, and then it’s like ‘Illusion’. [...] I still really like the word with an ‘I’ and what it conjures”

When ME1 DLC was in production, CH had been watching a lot of CNN, specifically Anderson Cooper. “How is one guy travelling to all these places and never looking tired and always being able to speak with clarity?” CH says it seemed almost superhuman. “What if there was someone who is the absolute maximum of the things you would aspire to be, but also the worst of humanity?” Cooper, though not evil, became an inspiration for TIM down to the gray hair and piercing blue eyes

Inspiration for TIM’s behind-the-scenes role pulling political strings came from Jack Bauer’s brother Graem in 24. Graem “can call up the president and tell him what to do and hang up, because he’s so connected and so influential”. Sheen had played a president and his performance brought gravitas and wisdom to the role. He had quit smoking, but the character smokes. He didn’t want to fake it, but he also didn’t want to smoke, “so he actually asked for a cigarette” to hold so he could stop his words to take drags with natural cadence

Writing was still pushing to write and revise lines hours before VO started. A series of problems like injury and some writers leaving for other opportunities left it so that Karin, Lukas Kristjanson and editor Cookie Everman hand to land the story safely, with PW helping where they could. Lukas: “We took over the writing bug and task list, and I can’t stress enough how much [Karin and Cookie] did to get ME2 out the door. There’s no part of that thing we didn’t touch”. Karin: “That was the most dramatic 2 weeks of my life”

Initial fan reaction when they started promo-ing ME2 was very negative because people didn’t want to know about new chars like Jack and Mordin. “[fans were like] ‘Get them out of here. We want our characters from the first game’. But then when they played them, those became some of the most popular chars [of the series]”

Concept art of Thane has an idea annotation saying “Face can shapeshift?”

At one point when designing Thane concept artists sent multiple variations of him to the team asking them to vote on which was the most attractive

Most of the Normandy crew was written by lead level designer Dusty Everman. Lukas gave him advice in the evenings between bugs

BioWare Montreal made ME2 and 3 cinematics

CC for Shep was based on tools used by char designers to create in-game chars. Under the hood similar tools existed to create aliens

Aliens were much easier to animate than humans. When something is human it’s very difficult to make it look realistic and you can see all the mistakes and everything

Over the holiday period in 2007 CH worked out a diagram on a single piece of paper that would define the entire scope and structure of the game. The diagram is included in the book

Bug report: “I shot a krogan so hard that his textures fell off”. At one point shotgun blast damage was applied to each of the pellets fired, and shot enemies ended up with just the default checkerboard Unreal texture on them after their textures got blown off

Blasto was meant to be 1 step above an Easter egg but his fan popularity prompted them to bring him back in ME3

They rewrote chunks of Jack 2 days before she went to VO. She was the only one they could change because all the other NPCs were recorded. They redesigned her mission by juggling locked NPC lines and changing Shep’s reactions by rewriting text paraphrases to change the context of the already-recorded VO

Lukas snuck obscure nods ito ME2′s distress calls. In the general distress call for the Hugo Gernsback, there’s BW’s initial’s and Edmonton’s phone number backwards. In a fault in a beacon protocol there’s the initials and backward phone number from Tommy Tutone’s “Jenny”. In 2 other general distress calls there’s initials and numbers from Glenn Miller Orchestra’s “Pennsylvania 6-5000″ and initials and numbers from Geddy Lee and Rush’s “2112″ respectively

Mass Effect 3

“The end of an era marks the beginning of another”

ME3 “marked the end of Shep’s story”

Saying bye to Shep was as difficult for devs as it was for players

JHale’s final VO session included Anderson’s death and romanced Garrus’ goodbye. “We were in the session and we both just started crying”, Caroline says. “I couldn’t come on the line to give her notes because I was crying, and she was crying. And so there was just this minute-long pause of like, nothing, nothing, nothing - just silence through the airwaves. And then I came on and just told her that I was crying and she said ‘I’m crying!’” They talked about these anecdotes also here on the N7 Day reunion panel

The Microsoft Kinect voice support required devs to teach Kinect hundreds of commands in a variety of accents across multiple languages. The result was useful but made for some awkward moments. Numerous players accidentally said “geth” or “quarian” while making a particular decision and accidentally killed Tali

MP chars were voiced by cops and military people

The helmet on one of the MP chars was originally designed for cancelled project Revolver

The payload device at the end needed to attach to the Citadel while essentially serving as a giant trigger. “It ended up becoming quite the engineering feet just to visualize how this thing would move and connect to the Citadel”

Concept artists explored creating an anti-team, where Kai Leng was almost an anti-Shepard essentially, with an elite squad to counteract your team. This idea never went beyond concept phase

ME3 Special Edition was released on Nintendo Wii U exclusively. This exclusive version of the game includes Genesis 2 (a sequel to the original Genesis comic) and unique gameplay features that took advantage of the touchscreen GamePad. For years Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood had had the honor of being BW’s only game made for a Nintendo console

FemShep regrettably didn’t feature in major ME marketing til ME3. Later releases like DAI, MEA and Anthem have taken increasing care not to gender their protagonists in cover art

To capture combat sounds they took a trip to CFB Wainwright, a military base southeast of Edmonton. They got a big tour of it and were allowed to record anything they could find. The tour ended with them getting to drive and shoot tanks (real shells). The force of doing that sent waves through Joel Green, he felt his whole chest compress when it went off; the perfect sound for the Black Widow! After the trip the soldiers let him keep the shell he fired and it’s been passed on like a torch to various devs since

Kakliosaurs began life as a joke in the writers’ room after John Dombrow placed a Grunt figure on a t-rex toy he had on his desk. Lore was brainstormed to justify the mash-up before someone asked, “Why don’t we put this in the game?” They loved it so much Karin had custom coffee mugs made

Bug report: For a while Tali’s final romance scene would fire when she was supposed to be dead

“Balancing combat: how designers in ME3 entered an ‘arms race’” - the solution to players feeling OP vs players feeling frustrated by really strong enemies is to find a good middle ground, but for designers Corey Gaspur and Brenon Holmes, it was war. Brenon designed enemies, Corey designed guns. Corey “was obsessed with bigger, heavier guns. We had this sort of informal competition where he’d make this crazy overturned gun that would just murder all the enemies, and then I tuned some stuff up to compensate”

Brenon had to invent new ways to “stop Corey” and this led to the Phantoms. Corey had in turn designed consumable rockets that could wipe out entire waves of enemies. He must’ve figured this would make short work of Brenon’s space ninjas, but Brenon had other plans: “I had just added the ability for her to cut rockets [when Corey was playing MP and he was watching]. She cut the rocket in half... Corey just turns and looks at me and is like: ‘Really dude? I just shot a rocket at this Phantom and she’s fine? Not even damaged? Zero damage?’”

This friendly rivalry helped elevate ME3′s gameplay. Corey had a knack for making a gun feel so good to fire it had his fellow designers scrambling to keep up. It was his version of balancing. Before Corey sadly passed away he mentored Boldwin Li in all things weapon design and the arms race continued

Corey designed the Arc Pistol. It was causing problems for enemies because it was too powerful. It seemed hell bent on staying that way, Boldwin would tune down all its stats and it was still doing 3x the damage it should have been doing. “I was like ‘What the hell?’, and then I looked closer. It secretly fired 3 bullets for every pull of the trigger! Corey, you sneaky jerk”

The day it launched there were midnight launch parties across North America including one near the BW building. Numerous devs sat at long tables greeting fans and signing autographs as the fans picked up preorders. When midnight struck the line was long enough that it took several hours for some fans to get their game. One particular fan is remembered: “It was 3am. Some guy drove up from Calgary with his friends. He was like one of the last people in line. I think he was sort of tired-drunk. He threw himself across the tables, pulled up his shirt and shouted ‘Guys, sign my abs!’ And like I did, because he waited so long. It felt impolite not to. So I hope he enjoyed his copy of ME3″

For designing Protheans concept artists had free reign to design something that read as ancient

Before the concept art team had the story of the game to work toward, they explored wild ideas of their own including an image of the crew stealing back the Normandy to go after the Reapers

Jen Cheverie was testing scenes and was initially excited to be testing Mordin scenes, til she saw she was testing the Renegade version of his death. “This is even before like all of the audio and everything was in, so you didn’t even have the sad music. I remember sitting at my desk and my hands just went to my face when I saw that the gun Shep pulls on Mordin is the gun he gives Shep in ME2. I burst into tears and was crying for the rest of the day. People are waving to me as they walk by and I’m like, ‘It’s ok, I’m just killing my best friend’”

There’s a segment called “Shepard’s story ends”. Casey on the ending: “There’s a whole bunch of things that come together to make it incredibly tense and emotional for players. I think the biggest one was the sense of finality, that whatever it was that happened in that very last moment... was it.”

Wrapping up the story was a massive feat. In a way all of ME3 is an ending. Its final moments were the players’ last with a char they’d been with all the way from Eden Prime

“And while the critical reception of the game was extremely positive, many fans were unsatisfied with the ending, which became one of the most controversial in the history of games.” CH: “We were, on one hand, at the end of a marathon trying to finish the game and the series. But as devs we also knew that there would be more. We knew that we would continue to tell the story. In retrospect, we didn’t fully appreciate the tremendous sense of finality that it would have for people”. He envisioned an ending that posed new questions, something in the tradition of high sci-fi that left players dreaming about what that particular galaxy’s future could hold. “Frankly, there’s a lot more that we could have and should have done to honor the work players put in, to give them a stronger sense of reward and closure”

AAA games are massive undertakings with a million moving parts. Somehow they come together but even the best-planned projects don’t turn out quite like devs hope. From start to end video game production is a series of compromises. It’s rare if not impossible for devs to ship a game they’re entirely happy with. “I think that people imagine that when you finish a game, it’s exactly the way you wanted it to be. But whether people end up loving or hating the final result, we work hard to finish it the best we can, knowing that there’s a lot we would have wanted to do better. I think that’s true of any creative work”

As the dust settled after the initial reaction to the ending and later its epilogue, meant to show the wide-reaching ripple effects of Shep’s final choice, “players emerged mostly asking for one thing”. CH: “Now, most of what we hear, after both ME3 and MEA, is ‘Hey, just go make more Mass Effect’. And that to me is the most important thing. Knowing that players want to return to the ME universe is what inspires us to press on and imagine what comes next”

Mass Effect: Andromeda

By creating a new ME in a new galaxy the team was challenged to put their own visual stamp on the game while keeping it true to the franchise

Being the first ME game on a new gen of consoles meant for more detail

“Massive transport ships called arks populated with salarians, turians, humans, asari and quarians” made the risky jump to the Cluster

MEA was the first time BW had truly codeveloped across 3 studios: Edmonton, Montreal and Austin. The bulk of the work especially early on was done in Montreal, which was composed of a handful of Edmonton expats and heaps of experienced devs who joined from elsewhere specifically to bring a new ME experience to life. Series vets in Edmonton then came on to contribute writing, cinematics, design and QA, along with leadership from creative director Mac Walters and the core Production team. Austin writers and level designers also joined the fray

“It took a new team to take ME beyond the Milky Way”

Mac: “A lot of people in Montreal joined BW as fans of the franchise, so they just had this passion, and it felt like it was more like the days of Jade Empire, where a smaller younger team gets to do something for the first time. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a new IP for me, it felt fresh and new because of that. The team was just super excited to be working on it”

Early plans had the player exploring hundreds of worlds, procedurally generated, allowing for a nearly infinite variety of experiences. But as development wore on, it became clear that the game narrative required more specific, hand-touched level design on each world to keep the story focused and the experience engaging. “The plan was to give players numerous uncharted worlds to explore. Designers worked hard to come up with procedural elements that would make such planets special. Eventually the team made the difficult decision to abandon procedural planets in favor of more memorable hand-touched alien worlds, each with a specific story to tell”

One challenge was defining what ME meant without Shep. Care was given to include many of the MET’s key species. “Ryder recruited turian, asari, krogan and salarian followers”. Like Shep Ryder represents humanity’s hope for a peaceful coexistence among aliens who had long operated without human contact

Beginning with MEA the team decided that with few exceptions vehicles in ME have 6 wheels. Early Nomad concepts were bulkier. Later ones focused on its ability to move over its ability to protect itself from hostile fire, underlining the themes of exploration

German concept designer and auto-motive futurist Daniel Simon was contracted to create the Nomad and Tempest. The Tempest’s final design took inspo from the Concorde

Concepts for angaran fighter ships have the following notes: “Two doors swing open, wings rotate down to function as landing struts, the landing struts split open. It has a spinning turbine engine

Despite being set a galaxy away and some 600 years after Mordin’s death, there was a time when he had a cameo. It wasn’t cut due to running out of time however, it was cut due to drug references. John Dombrow explains: “One day I had to write a small quest for Kadara. I thought it’d be amusing if these 2 guys living way out on the fringes in a shack were growing plants for uh, medicinal purposes, and needed Ryder’s help with it. It occurred to me, wouldn’t it be amusing if Ryder had the option of actually trying ‘the medicine’ to see what would happen? And I thought, what if it turned into some hallucination that somehow involved SAM - like maybe SAM would sing? But why? How could I motivate that? Then it hit me. Who else in the ME game sings unexpectedly? MORDIN. As a nod to him I wrote SAM singing Modern Major-General. It got even better when our cine designer John Ebenger wanted to take it even further. Bless him, he came in on a Saturday to do a special hallucination showing Mordin himself. It was great. Til the fateful day we were told MEA had already been submitted to the ratings board. That’s when you declare things like drug references in your game. Mordin fell under that category which meant it was a no-go. We were too late”

Ryder’s white AI armor contrasts Shep’s iconic dark armor (intentional design)

Concept art for Ryder involved experiments with cloth (cloaks, ponchos, capes - “Pull here to release cloak”) and asymmetrical design elements

For alien design, there’s a few exceptions but humanoid figures are the ME standard and this persisted into MEA

Kett and angara concepts explored striking lines and textures

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

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tragedy-for-sale · 3 years ago

Text

Wild Blue

Look, it's not everyday I give you wholesome shit, hell not even every month. But you got luckily... apparently. Boys playing in the water and being stupid? Yes please, I think we need this.

◈ ━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━ ◈

The boys didn't often have a minute to themselves, but when they did, when they had free time, Havoc was never quiet. "I'm saying it's impractical to wear our armor when we don't have a mission, we have civilian attire for a reason, Echo." Tech rolled his eyes, he, as you imagine, was not wearing his armor nor his blacks, but whatever clothes they'd stolen over the years. "... and if we want to go steal stuff, we'll blend in perfectly with the population." Tech smiled, knowing he and Echo had made plans to do just that.

Echo frowned, "Yeah whatever." He crossed his arms, pouting as he tried to think of something witty as a way to insult Tech, but that thought was quickly interrupted, "Uh Wrecker, why are you carrying around Hunter?" Echo asked, looking up from his holopad. Tech also looked up, the smallest smile on his face.

"Oh!" Wrecker's smile grew, "He was just sitting there so I picked him up, he's just living in the moment now! See." Wrecker then turned around.

Hunter, who looked as if he had been sleeping, lifted his head, "How's it hanging?" He smiled, waving softly. Echo chuckled a little, hand to his mouth to try to hide it. Hunter then let his head fall again, maybe he was trying to sleep.

"He likes it!" Wrecker said as he turned back around.

"Yeah!" Hunter assured, there was a little laugh in his voice, it was as if they were cadets again. Wrecker always picked him up. Hunter had been pretty weirded out the first time Wrecker did pick him up. But he'd gotten used to, Hunter was never doing anything better and Wrecker also took him to the right place. Where ever his brothers were.

Crosshair peaked his head out from the doorway, and with a giddy laugh he ran up to Wrecker and jumped, "Me too!" He would've tackled Wrecker to the ground, but Wrecker wasn't caught off guard. Also, Crosshair is not strong enough to knock Wrecker off his feet.

"Ah! I got 'em both!" Wrecker laughed, picking Crosshair up and slinging him over his other shoulder. Crosshair took a minute to ensure he wouldn't fall, once he did he looked down to Hunter and fist bumped him. "Time to go!" Wrecker started moving, getting nonstop laughs from his brothers. Tech and Echo trailed closely behind as Wrecker ran outside the ship.

"Just run and jump on him, you'll fit." Tech prompted, taking note on how Echo eyeballed the three.

"Oh no, I couldn't." Echo shook his head. Tech gave him a shove, "Oh fine!" He huffed, running and jumping up on Wrecker's back. "I'm here-!" Crosshair and Hunter both made sure Echo wouldn't fall, their hands on his back that only moved once he felt he wouldn't fall.

"Ah!" Wrecker laughed, adjusting to the weight of another brother. "Tech you coming?" He turned around and looked at his brother. Hunter lifted his head, almost falling in the process. Echo was holding onto Wrecker's head and Crosshair was just sitting there, sticking his tongue out at Tech.

"...I don't think there is anymore room, so..." He stated, a small smile creeping on his face as he came up with an excellent idea. "...See ya, losers!" Tech laughed as he bolted the other direction towards the lake they'd landed nearby. As he ran, he threw his helmet at his brothers, luckily Echo caught it before it hit Wrecker. Who was charging full speed after Tech into the water.

When Wrecker had ran deep enough into the water, he flung his brothers off, sending them flying into the lake. Wrecker then picked up Tech, "Can't escape me, brother!" he laughed as dunked Tech's head underwater, then dropping him.

Tech floated back up to the surface, lifting his goggles up to wipe his eyes, he then threw them to shore. "How about we play a game of- Shit!" He screamed as Crosshair, who was underwater, yanked on Tech's leg and made him fall again. Crosshair emerged and burst out laughing.

Hunter had Echo on his shoulders, they were going after Wrecker, the two tackled their older brother, he plunged into the water. He stayed underwater for much longer than he should have. "Uh oh." Hunter said as he scanned the water trying to see Wrecker under the water. "Echo abort! Save yourself!" Hunter cried as Echo jumped off, swimming to safety with Crosshair. As soon as Echo was gone, Hunter was pulled under the water, Wrecker waved to him before swimming up. Hunter lingered there for a minute before he resurfaced.

When he did, he saw his brothers playing chicken, which is what Tech was going to suggest before Crosshair interrupted him. He came over, watching them, a smile on his face. Crosshair lost against Echo, falling off Tech's shoulders and into the water. Hunter then intervened, allowing Tech to get on his shoulders for round two.

As you can imagine, the boys went about this until the sun had set. Echo and Tech had completely forgotten about their plan to rob several stores of their foods and alcohols. "...But could we even buy alcohol? 'Cause at 79's they know we're clones" Echo asked, he was laying on the ground with Tech, the two were stargazing, "Also, we don't have IDs and like, we're all twelve."

Tech turned his head, chuckling softly, "No, I don't think we could, that's why we made a plan to steal it, Vod." He rolled his eyes, flicking Echo's head.

"You were going to steal something without me?" Crosshair asked, sounding genuinely offended. He stood by their heads, looking down, he had plates of food in his arms. They two of them made Crosshair get them food, he was the youngest, he had no choice.

"Damn right." Echo smiled as he sat up, taking a plate, "Thanks bubba." He said, grabbing a fork and taking a bite of Hunter's 'infamous but not really 'cause it's Hunter's mac-n-cheese.' Tech took his plate and also thanked Crosshair, who sat down with them.

"The night is still young, we can go, but it's almost your bedtime, Crosshair, you'd have to ask Hunter." Tech smirked, eyeballing Crosshair as he took a bite of his food.

Crosshair shot Tech a defeated glare, he tried to be offended, but he failed. He made a face before turning his head, "Hunter! They wanna go steal stuff, can I go?!" He yelled. Echo and Tech burst out laughing, not expecting him to actually do it. He did it out of spite. Hunter would say yes and then they'd have to take him.

Hunter turned his head away from the grill, "What? Yeah, just don't do anything to the population!" He called back before turning back to Wrecker. "Yeah, so I was tellin' Tech that just because he's smart doesn't mean he can tie his shoes."

Wrecker nodded, "Exactly, doing algebra scary fast doesn't mean you can get all of us ready to fight in fifteen minutes before a battle." Wrecker took another bite of the mac-n-cheese, looking over to his brothers, who were all laughing together over in the dirt.

"You get me," Hunter said, "It's not about book smart, it's about street smarts."

"But I don't know shit about streets-"

"Not actually streets," Hunter shook his head, "... I think." He mumbled before shoving his face with food to avoid questions. Wrecker nodded, very wise was his little brother.

"Anyway, look at Crosshair, can you believe him?" Hunter shook his head, making eye contact with Crosshair, who had gotten up and had come towards the two.

"What did I do?" Crosshair asked, "I just wanted more food." He whined, shuffling to them as Hunter set down his plate, took Crosshair's and gave him more food.

"I can't believe you, you're atrocious." Wrecker gave Crosshair a soft shove, Crosshair tried to hide his grin as Hunter handed him his plate.

"Oh yeah, I'm terrible, ya'll should just leave me on Kamino one of these days." He laughed as he turned away, walking back to Tech and Echo.

"What an idiot."

"Ugh, I know right?"

The two shared another laugh and continued to diss their little brothers, but luckily, they were doing the same thing. "Yeah, no, Hunter's hair? Nothing special, now General Skywalker is fucking ugly," They all nodded in agreement as Echo spoke, "But he knows how to do his hair. Hunter needs to use better conditioner, the general would go to Amidala's place and come back smelling like an angel." Which helped with his face.

"I agree, in comparison to General Skywalker, Hunter's looks are not on a vomit-inducing scale." Tech added, stacking his empty plate on top of Echo's also empty plate.

"But he's still ugly."

"Oh, very."

Crosshair laughed as he chewed, trying his best not to choke. "Can we go now?" He said when he'd finished eating. Tech and Echo both glared at him for a solid thirty seconds before nodding and getting up. Crosshair got up, having to catch up with them. They dropped their plates off. Echo and Tech simply said they were heading out, but Crosshair lingered, "We'll be back, I- I can do the dishes when we get back," He muttered, "Uh, bye."

"Bye, bubba." Hunter smiled, waving Crosshair off. Crosshair had a giddy smile, giving them a nod and a thumbs up before turning around and running after Tech and Echo, who were practically already out of sight.

"Hey! You assholes!" Crosshair screamed as he ran after them, "Wait! I'm scared of the dark!" He called as he caught up with them. Wrecker and Hunter smiled fondly. It was a good day.

"....Crosshair isn't gonna do the dishes." Hunter said once they'd stood there in silence for several minutes.

"Yeah, no he isn't." Wrecker agreed as he helped Hunter clean up. Wrecker loaded their grill back up as Hunter took the plates and food back inside. "We'll make Tech do them." Wrecker called as he locked the compartment the grill was in, he then headed back inside, "Hide his armor so he'll have motivation." Wrecker suggested once he was back inside. Hunter was putting the dishes in the sink, he looked up to Wrecker and chuckled,

"Good idea!"

◈ ━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━ ◈

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this-sucks101 · 3 years ago

Text

~ get into it ~

Hello, nobody is going to read this but welcome to my very cringeworthy tumblr that takes me, an adult, back to my very quirky and depressed senior year of high school.

Allow me to set the stage...

I was an incredibly average gay kid living in a conservative, rural countryside with an immense hatred for my body stemming all the way back to early childhood. I distracted myself with friends, schoolwork, or going out every single day so I wouldn't have to sit in my room and obsess over what was in the fridge or pantry. I was happy, and I was skinny. Sure, I wasn't as skinny as I wanted to be at the time, but I would give everything to have the same body I had when I was 17 now at 21.

Now we're 4 years later and I'm a senior in college. I'm over 60 pounds heavier than I was in high school (all in fat) and although I'm now in an incredible relationship living in my own house and making decent money, I'm fucking miserable. I have spent every single day since high school pinching at the more round parts of my body, critiquing myself in every single fucking mirror, and comparing myself to the perfect skinny boys on social media and I'm done. I'm done hating myself, I'm done trying every fucking diet only to binge on a week's worth of fast food in one sitting - I'm ready to take this shit by the reigns and get back into it.

I want to be the skinny one in the friend group, I want people to call me frail or small, I want to wear baggy sweaters and beanies and when I lift my shirt, people are shocked at how small my stomach is and how my hip bones subtly stick out from my waist. I'm only getting older and every day is another wasted opportunity, another 24hrs that I will regret when I'm a fat old man whose melted into the endless cesspool of other fat angry old men that reminisce on days when they were younger and full of opportunity.

I am responsible for my weight, all 197 pounds of it. I put the food in my mouth, I value temporary satisfaction over long-term perfection, I tell myself "It's just one bite" or "It's just one meal", but all I'm doing is giving power to the fat ass that has crawled inside of me and taken place in what was once a skinny, happy boy's body. I don't care what the repercussions are; Hollow out my bones, make my hair fall out, destroy my organs and crack my lips - I want to be skinny. No, I need to be skinny.

I can do this because I have to do this, if I pass over 200 pounds - I will literally fucking die. No, I am not fatphobic - I have never discriminated against my close friends or family for being larger, but damnit this was not meant for me. I was never destined to go down this path, and with a BMI of 26 and a scale reminding me every morning that I am now classified as "overweight", I have nowhere else to turn.

I feel like everybody else in my life is constantly making decisions for me, which is why I have turned to food for comfort and satisfaction. At least if I'm depressed, McDonald's is still serving Big Macs or Starbucks still has the sweetest drinks - but this pattern of thinking has to end. I am a student and will be graduating with my bachelor's degree very soon and I don't have time to be caught up in my eating habits - which is why I will be focusing on studying, school, and my career rather than sitting for 15 minutes in the drive-thru because I feel like I can't control my cravings.

Here's to success, to persistence and motivation. I could care less if anybody ever sees this blog or if Tumblr decides to take it down (just like they did when I was 17) - because this, for once in my life, is entirely for me and nobody else (and I'm also an incredibly stubborn ass who will just remake this in the event that it's deleted).

Ciao, E.

#thin insp0 #anamia #ana blog #thin inspiration #male ed

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sleekervae · 4 years ago

Text

The Neighbour [1.2]

Masterlist

Trigger warning: here is the first round of smut!! 😈😈 I need a shower now...

"Your candy floss mind

And sugar cane lips

Have me hooked on an

Endorphin rush,

You're too sweet to ever resist..."

The sound of keys typing coincided with the bubbling of boiling water in a pot. Eva looked up from her screen now and again, watching Remington from the island counter as he tried to handle making dinner on his own. His own way of surprising her, it was a baked vegan mac and cheese. A particular playlist on his Spotify was echoing through the kitchen and he was singing along to it. She loved listening to his voice; it was so raspy and yet so comforting.

Despite how calm and collected he appeared, Remington wouldn't dare let it slip that he was actually struggling hard. His cheese sauce wasn't thickening, instead it had the viscosity of running water.

Eva smiled to herself when her gaze fell over Remington's newly dyed pink hair, an event in itself as she insisted on helping him. He had his head in the tub of his bathroom, closing his eyes at the pleasant sensation of her nails massaging the color into his scalp. The dye only sufficiently covered his blonde tips, his brunette roots more prominent now. Afterwards she had wet a cloth and sat on his knee to wipe the leftover dye from his face. His hands braced her waist and his dark brown eyes pierced into her blues.

"You think it'll turn out okay?" he asked.

"I think it's gonna' look fantastic," she smiled and kissed his nose, "You're hot enough as it is. Throw in hot pink hair and you've broken the scale,"

Forty-five minutes later Remington washed out the color and shampooed his new hair. Eva watched the flashy color and bubbles swirl down the drain, already in awe at his new look.

"To quote The 1975: you look so cool," she drawled with a smile, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Well, I had a pretty great assistant," he ran a hand through his damp hair before bringing himself down to kiss her. He then handed her his phone.

"Can you take a picture for me?" he asked. Eva obliged and chuckled as he pulled a face and made the rock-out sign with his hands. Then he took the phone and pulled her back into him.

"Are you gonna' post that?" she asked, curious as he set up the camera again.

"Yeah. Although, this one is just for us," he placed Eva in front and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head and positioning the phone at her chest level. Eva leaned into his embrace, smiling though not looking at herself in the bathroom mirror. She didn't take a lot of selfies, so she opted to look at Remington through the reflective surface.

It was some time after that Remington proposed he'd make dinner for them. And so Eva sat at the island, watching him shake his head at the sauce pot while she went between typing a new poem and working on her next article.

"You can part my lips with

White chocolate fingertips,

And I'll beg you to let me taste

The syrup that drenches over

Your teeth and saturates your tongue..."

She pushed the computer away and wandered over to the stove. The cheese sauce certainly smelled good, though she did notice it was quite runny.

"I don't know why it's not getting thicker," Remington said huffily.

Eva glanced at the recipe he had open on his tablet, then at the menagerie of ingredients he had behind them on the counter. Nutritional yeast, coconut milk, garlic powder...

"Did you put any flour in it?" she asked.

Remington then realized where he'd gone wrong, "Ah ha! I forgot the flour!" he then dashed to his cupboard. Eva chuckled endearingly.

"Do you need any help?" she offered.

"Would you mind straining the pasta?"

"Of course,"

Remington quickly remedied his sauce and he transferred it and the pasta into a baking dish. As he sprinkled on the bread crumbs, Eva swiped some leftover sauce from the pot and held it up for him to taste. He took it gladly, smiling then licked the cheese sauce off her finger. She giggled before doing the same for herself.

"Very nice. You should cook more often," she said.

Remington smirked, "So, am I turning on to veganism?" he simpered.

"You're turning me on, but not just with vegan food," she shrugged, giggling as he playfully gawked at her.

"Naughty girl!" he gasped, taking some more sauce on his finger and swiping it over her cheek.

"Hey!"

"Oh here, let me get that," he grinned. He grabbed her waist and licked up the sauce with a wet kiss, but he didn't stop there. He moved his lips to her ear then onto her jaw until finally on her neck where he began to suck and bite.

She sighed, running her hands up his arms, moving her head to the side so he could access her neck better. He was on his third mark when the oven dinged, signaling it had reached full heat.

"Rem -- Remington, the oven's ready," she giggled.

"It's not going anywhere," he mumbled, squeezing her hips, his thumbs drawing circles on her exposed skin.

"C'mon, I'm hungry!" she said.

"I'm hungry too," he smirked.

"Clearly. Put the pasta in and we can pick up in a minute," she promised, shoving him away gently.

He grunted but did as she said. She adjusted her shirt, watching him pick up the casserole dish and checked out his ass as he bent down to put it in the oven. He caught her and he smirked.

"Were you checking me out?" he asked even though he knew she was.

"Why the hell would I do a thing like that?" she scoffed and waved him off.

"C'mere!"

He lifted her in his arms and she squealed, and he collapsed onto his couch with her straddling his lap. He rid her of her sweater so she was just in a tank top with her chest in front of his face. With one look she connected their lips together and they made out, and before he knew it he had her lips dragging across his neck.

Remington rolled his head back onto the couch as she sucked expertly on his skin. He silently thanked Emerson for not being home. His large hands held onto her waist, he rocked her slowly against him, moaning at the friction between them. Tied with her mouth on his neck, if Remington died right there he'd die a happy man.

"Baby, you're so good," he moaned as she continued to suck on his skin.

Eva chuckled into his ear, "I'm good at something else, too," and her hot breath fanned over his skin, eliciting goosebumps.

Before he could retort she'd slipped off his lap onto the floor, and began to undo the button of his jeans. She was meticulous and took her time with his zipper as he stared wide eyed as this beautiful girl before him, he shucked his pants down his thighs. He gulped when her finger lightly traced around the perimeter of his head. It twitched in response and she smiled.

"Can I?" she asked, fluttering her big beautiful Bambi eyes up at him.

Remington's voice had disappeared on him, so he resorted to nodding.

She lifted him into her palm, Remington was aching when she pressed soft kisses up his shaft and then a wet one over his slit. She continued to kiss him before her tongue poked out in between.

"Fuck, baby, don't tease," he panted, feeling his skin burn in the most delicious way.

"What do you say?" she asked, and Remington was alarmed that she had a small dominant side to her. But he fucking loved it.

"Please, baby," he exhaled, lifting his hand up but then dropped it back to the cushion. He didn't want to grab her hair yet, he didn't want to push her.

She smiled again (God damn) then spat heavily on his head, watching it dribble down before she took him completely in her mouth. Remington couldn't contain his moan from feeling her mouth wrapped around him. He'd imagined it when he was in the shower or thinking of her late at night, but the real thing was so much better.

She lathered him up by moving her head up and down and when she was satisfied, she began to pump her hand up and down as well and Remington's mind went blank. The mac and cheese was forgotten. The day was gone. Hell, his own fucking name had escaped his him.

The only thing he could focus on was watching his pretty girl bobbing her head up and down his cock, taking him as far as she could without gagging and what she couldn't take she squeezed gently with her fingers which surprisingly felt good.

He was a moaning mess and she'd say 'yeah?' and 'does that feel good?' which caused vibrations and more sensations and he couldn't form a coherent sentence so he just kept moaning and nodding. When he was getting close she sucked on him like a literal lollipop and then her fingers begin to fondle his balls, and he felt the tight knot in his stomach begin to unravel.

"I don't swallow," she said quietly, but she kept working at him and he didn't care.

"That's fine, don't stop ... I'll tell you when," he gasped and bucked his hips slightly.

The sound of her slurping sent him over the edge and then he was pushing her off him with rushed 'baby, baby, stop, stop' and he was coming over his own fingers. Her small hand was beneath his though and she helped him release until he'd fallen back against the couch, hot and bothered and totally satisfied.

He didn't even notice her leave until she was sitting beside him with a wet paper towel in her hand and cleaned up his hand and thigh. She rolled it up in a much larger dry piece of towel and he rolled his head to the right to look at her dazedly.

"You okay?" she giggled and he gave her a lazy smile back.

"You're fuckin' incredible," he sighed then pursed his lips. She took the hint and leaned in close to peck his lips.

"I wanted to make you feel good," she shrugged, her dominant demeanour now replaced with her typical sweet and shy persona.

"You exceeded. I think that was the best blow I've ever had,"

"Oh, please," she giggled again, and then the oven timer went off. Remington groaned, about to get up though he realized his dick was still out with his pants still around his thighs.

"Shit," he mumbled, shuffling them back on while Eva was laughing beside him, "Oh quiet, you helped make the mess," he wagged a finger at her in warning and she stuck her tongue out at him while he headed into the kitchen.

The mac and cheese was delicious, and Eva had to admit that she didn't mind vegan food so much anymore. They packed up what was left and Eva helped Remington with the dishes, despite him assuring her that she could relax. With the way he was thinking, she would need all the relaxation she could get.

He told her to head up to his room and pick a movie for them. She was more than happy to oblige. He was buzzing with excitement as he quickly finished cleaning up and grabbed the can of whipped cream from the fridge.

Coming into the bedroom Remington grinned as he heard the opening lines of Spirited Away. Eva was sat cross-legged on the bed and he closed the door behind him. She smiled at him as he placed the can on the bed, though she glanced at him quizzically before glancing at the can.

"What're you gonna' do with that?" she asked, sounding more perplexed then nervous.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, coming to kneel on the bed.

"To an extent," Eva shrugged.

"To an extent?" he mocked. She giggled as he reached forward and tugged her by her ankles towards him, "What does that mean?" he stared down at her with sheer adoration.

"Depends on what you're gonna' do to me," she blushed.

"Well, are you okay to take off your shorts and underwear?" he smiled reassuringly. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, but he was happy when she obliged him. She kicked off her clothes onto the floor behind him.

"Good girl," he mumbled, kissing her cheek, "Now can you lie back for me?"

She nodded and slowly lowered herself onto the duvet. Remington grabbed her ankles yanked her further down the bed so her naked bum was on the edge. He kneeled down and grabbed the whipped cream and pushed up her top so it rested over her ribs. He slowly and meticulously sprayed the cream from her bellybutton to her mound, and on the inside of both of her thighs. She inhaled sharply at the cold but tried to relax. He set the can on the floor next to him.

He hummed as he looked at her, she looked delectable and she was throbbing already as her dark blue eyes meet his. They were wide with excitement and lust as she realized his plan.

"You're my dessert, tonight," he rasped, then attached his mouth to her stomach.

The cold cream on her warm skin was pure gold on his tongue. He took his time in licking and sucking it all off. When he reached her thighs some of the cream had slid onto his duvet but he was hardly pressed to give a fuck. He swiped his tongue at the rogue sweetness dripping down her thighs and glanced up at her once more before pressing his mouth into her.

Eva gasped at the chilled sensations of his lips and the cream but he began to move his tongue in intricate patterns and she mewled happily. Her fingers clenched at the duvet but Remington dragged her hand into his newly dyed hair and she pulled at the spikes.

He lifted her thighs over his shoulder as he devoured her rapidly and without pause. She was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted and his tongue worked her with expert precision. Soon enough she began rocking her hips into his mouth and her moans were sinful; her fingers continued to pull harder as he felt her come for the first time. He watched her writhe and gasp for breath, his tongue still working her as she came down. He smirked on her pussy lips, proud because he hadn't even used a finger yet.

"Fuck, Rem," she whined when he didn't stop.

She was panting hard and wiggling like mad, her thighs clenching around his head and she came again. He peeked at her through his lashes and her mouth was slack in ecstasy, and her eyes were screwed shut and he hoped she was seeing stars.

When her hips slowed again he removed his mouth and kissed the inside of her thighs, biting lightly to mark her up as she collected herself. He rested his cheek against her thigh and stared up at her as she finally opened her eyes.

"You okay, honey?" he mimicked from earlier.

Eva breathed slowly, her skin tingled no matter what little movements she made, "Okay, I trust you now," and he laughed against her skin.

"Fructose and adrenaline permeate my body,

And I'm losing all control on this sugar high

You've set me on.

It'll take me a long time to come down.

But I keep coming back for dose,

After dose,

After dose.

I'm an addict always itching for my next fix

Of your honey-soaked, sickly sweet affections,”

#palaye royale #Palaye Royale fic #Palaye Royale imagine #palaye positivity #remington leith #Remington Leith imagine #emerson barrett #sebastian danzig #smut #emo boys #music #boy bands #band imagines #band imagine blog #band blog #poetry #original story #original female character

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shining-red-diamond · 4 years ago

Text

Shallow Waters (Part V)

Words: 1.7k

Pairing: Hendery x Brittany (OC) (feat. WayV and Louis)

Rating: PG-15

Genre: fluff, some angst

Warnings: mentions of sex and mating, blood, mentions of abandonment and infidelity

Brittany’s lunch consisted of ham, broccoli, and mac & cheese, while Hendery chowed down on some raw salmon. He hated that he wouldn’t be able to try the foods that she or other humans enjoyed, but he was grateful she was willing to find him a variety of different fish. That way, he didn’t feel as if he was eating the same thing over and over again. The drinks, however, didn’t affect him, yet he preferred to drink just water.

The weather cleared up by the time the couple had finished their meals. While still cloudy, the rain and thunder had come to a halt. Hendery glanced out the window and watched the ocean as Brittany cleaned the dishes.

He then thought about his siren friends. It had been almost two months since he last saw them, and he figured they had to have been finished with helping the other sea creatures. What better opportunity for Brittany to meet the sirens?

Turning to Brittany, he asked her, “Would Brittany like to meet Hendery’s friends?”

She paused midway through loading the dishwasher when he spoke. There was a moment of silence before she answered, “Oh, the sirens?”

“Yes.”

“Of course, I would,” she smiled as she closed the dishwasher and started it. “When?”

“Would Brittany like to go now? The storm has stopped.”

She glanced out the window to see he was right. The clouds still looked heavy as if the bottom might fall out again, but if they were only gone for a few minutes they should be fine.

“Alright,” she nodded. “I’ll go change.”

Knowing they might have to swim again, Brittany went back to her room and slipped on her blue bikini before putting on a loose cover up. Hendery was in awe of her when she returned to the kitchen.

“Let’s go quickly before it rains again,” she said as she grabbed the merman’s hand, almost ignoring his admirations of her.

When they reached the beach, Hendery transformed into his merman form. He led her out in the same direction of where they first hung out about two months earlier; but instead of stopping there, they swam a little further until there was what Brittany could describe as an oasis. Palm trees as tall as a two story building produced coconuts, golden sand surrounded the sapphire-colored lagoon, and various birds inhabited the surrounding trees. A few stray cats and dogs drank from the water, but they never bothered the couple.

“Wait here,” Hendery instructed his lover before swimming off into the ocean.

Brittany sat down on the beach and patiently waited. Looking around, she spotted a shaded area by the lagoon and decided to wait under there. The moment she sat down a soft mew came from her left. When she took a glance, the sound had come from a Siamese cat sniffing at her wrist before licking her right on her dove tattoo. The cat then stared up at her with large blue eyes and sat down.

“Where did you come from, little buddy?” Brittany giggled. “You don’t seem to have a tag on you.”

Holding her hand out with her palm facing up, the cat sniffed her hand again and nuzzled its face in it. She scratched his head and smiled. The cat purred as he (she checked) brushed against her hip before resting his head on her stomach.

“Am I warm?” Brittany asked as she pet his back.

For a few minutes, she bonded with the cat, petting his head as he purred happily. She even named him Louis, despite him not being her pet.

“Brittany!” Hendery’s voice called to her, followed by a few splashes.

His head emerged, followed by his body and tail crawling up on the beach. He looks so gorgeous soaking wet from the ocean, Brittany thought as he adjusted himself in a comfortable sitting position.

The cat didn’t mind being carried in Brittany’s arms as she walked over to where her merman was sitting. When she sat down, the feline leaped out and scurried over to Hendery’s tail.

“Did Brittany make a new friend?” Hender chuckled as the cat tried playing his scales.

“He just came up to me as if he had known me for a long time,” she explained. “He’s a very social kitty.”

Hendery pet the furry friend for a second before he told Brittany to look out towards the ocean. “The sirens are about to appear.”

Sure enough, six heads popped up and moved closer towards the couple. Frightened by the sudden movements, the cat jumped and ran off.

“Funny creatures,” the merman commented before turning his attention back to the six sirens, who were now seemingly wading in the water.

“Hello, Brittany,” a siren with round eyes and a broad nose greeted with a friendly smile. “Hendery has told us great things about you. I’m Kun.”

All of them were well built with toned abs and strong biceps, but in a way that was pleasing to the eye and not so much body builder. It was more of them gaining strength and being fit from doing whatever it is they do. They each had a distinct tattoo somewhere on their arms, neck, or torso. Kun had a fatherly presence as he seemed to be the leader figure of the group and sported a mark shaped in a sort of sun with rays on his shoulder.

“Sirens who are opposite of the myth,” the tallest one with a deep voice jokes.

“I’m aware,” Brittany nods. “What’s your name?”

“Lucas.”

One by one, the sirens introduced themselves to Hendery’s lover. Lucas’s skin was more tan than the others, and he had a sort of flower tattoo on his left side. Xiaojun was well-mannered with sharp eyes and a mark of a starfish shape on his hip. The second tallest, WinWin, had a unique ears shape where one was more pointed than the other and a softer jawline with some sort of mended heart shape etched the center of her sternum. A feline faced siren of the bunch called himself Ten and sported an intricate tattoo on his right forearm; and the smallest siren YangYang was the youngest and had a more boyish aura about him while his tattoo was displayed over where his heart would be.

“Hendery has told me how you took him in,” said Brittany as she sat up a little straighter.

“We were all very young,” Ten explained. “YangYang was almost one and Kun was five. When we were all swimming around the Gulf of Mexico one day, we saw a tiny, two year old merboy so weak and crying.”

“So, you raised him when you guys were basically children?”

“Sirens’ brains age differently from humans and merfolk,” WinWin added. “However, we still lived with another mermaid who cared for us until Kun was fourteen.”

“Once Hendery turned eighteen, he ventured off around the world,” the merman finished. “He settled in Florida, because his friends lived there.”

“And that’s where he found you, Brittany,” Kun finished.

The sirens continued telling their stories about adventures with Hendery and updating their friend on what they were doing in the ocean. Each of them were extremely kind and didn’t hesitate to help others in need, even going to war to protect a race of sea nymphs in the Mediterranean. Yet, whenever Brittany asked what makes Hendery different from the other merfolk, they just gave her the same answer her lover did: sharp teeth with an appetite for only raw fish.

“I mean, who were his parents?” she asks.

“Well, we know for a fact his father is the king of a mermaid city off this coast,” Ten answered. “We found that out about a year after we took him in. The king was infamous for sleeping with other creatures before he crowned a mermaid his queen. So far, Hendery was the only result of his affairs. We’re not quite sure who his mother was.”

Brittany examined Hendery as he chomped on a flounder YangYang had caught for him, fish blood trickling down a little bit.

“He could be only half-merfolk,” she concluded.

“That’s what we have thought as well,” Kun agreed. “But we never brought it up as to not make him feel that he wasn’t worth anything by being different.”

“He is different” -she looked at her lover once more- “but special.”

His cheeks blushed as he wiped his mouth.

Louis returned to the small gathering, and he immediately wanted some of Hendery’s snack. The merman happily tore off a piece and fed it to him.

“So, are you guys mates yet?” YangYang asked as he tried to reach out and pet the cat.

Brittany was confused. “In what sense?”

Kun thumped the youngests forehead. “You can’t just ask couples stuff like that.”

“Sorry,” the youngest yelped. “I just noticed she doesn’t have a mark yet, and I was curious.”

“Brittany and Hendery are lovers,” Lucas added. “There’s a difference.”

His comment is what switched on the lightbulb in Brittany’s brain.

“Wait, mates?” she repeated. “As in, have we...done the deed? And what’s a mark have to do with anything?”

Kun explained everything to Brittany. For merfolk, the mate’s mark was given to females in the space between the neck and the shoulder, and the male would have an imprint of the wound in the exact spot on his skin. In a sense, it was like a marriage ritual between the two beings who truly loved each other.

“But as you have guessed,” the eldest siren finished, “it’s done during intimacy.”

Brittany nodded. Hendery held her hand and kissed it. He knew sooner or later they would have to follow through with the ritual, but he respected his lover enough to go forward with it if she was ready.

“I apologize if I said anything out of turn,” YangYang piped up. “I say things without thinking sometimes.”

“You’re fine,” she reassured him.

WinWin glanced behind him towards another end of the beach. “We have to go,” he informed.

Kun nodded. “We’ll hang out again, soon,” he promised. “YangYang put the cat down.”

WIth a finish trick splash, the six sirens swam off to whatever task they had been called to do, and Louis shook himself dry.

Tags: @fantasywayv @ezralia-writes @dearyongs @strawberryguema @daybreakx @neocitybyday @jaekissd @not-majestic-bluenicorn @queen-of-himbos @lilhwahwa @philosopher-of-fandoms @the32ndbeat @dreamystuffers

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happymetalgirl · 4 years ago

Text

Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper”.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

#Black Thought #Streams of Thought #Streams of Thought Vol 3 #Anna Von Hausswolff #All Thoughts Fly #The Strokes #The New Abnormal #Hexvessel #Kindred #Rina Sawayama #Sawayama #Phoebe Bridgers #Punisher #Lady Gaga #Chromatica #Shabaka and the Ancestors #We Are Sent Here by History

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mother-snake · 4 years ago

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Thank you so much for the response to my ask! It was so so good!! 💕 I saw you posted wanting short, mostly Janus centric, ideas so maybe something nice and fluffy after I just asked to put him through angst? Maybe Thomas and the sides taking a chance to show Janus appreciation after his acceptance or something?

well short is out of the window with this one im afraid...(this one is defianately fluffier than the last by a long shot)

taggs: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo warnings: angst words 3212

-a bold statment-

Janus had been having one of those days. He had turned off all the lights and built a small blanket fort filled with pillows and stuffed animals. Fairy lights lit up the small space and he had a book in hand.

He couldn’t focus on the book. he had been re- reading each page as he lost concentration once again. he felt frustrated, tired and just wanted whatever he was feeling to disappear.

He pulled the blanket that had been covering his lower half and moved it further up. snuggling close as possible as unwanted tears made of frustration began to prick his eyes.

He was barely cut out of his mind by a small soft knock at his door. “Janus?” Logan said, just able to be heard, “may I come in,” he asked.

He rubbed his eyes before letting the lock on the door click open. He heard the sound of the door open and close. “Janus may I turn the lights on,” Logan asked. “yes” the lights remained off.

He listened as Logan shuffled around the room and shift a little. The opening of the blanket fort was pulled back slightly, letting Janus catch a small glimpse of the logical sides face. “hello,” Logan said with a small smile. “hi,” Janus mumbled back.

The air was quiet but not tense. Logan let out a sigh before looking at the blanket fort. He was quite impressed by the way it had been built. “are you alright Janus?” he asked as he peaked a little further in. he didn’t respond, but Logan could tell the answer despite his ‘lack of emotions’ “would you like a hug?” he asked. Janus looked at him with nervousness. This didn’t feel like something Logan would do. this wasn’t something he was used to. But the offer was too enticing for him to deny. he gave a small nod to Logan and shuffled over for the logical side to make his way in.

Logan slipped in, and sat by Janus. The snake seemed to melt into the simple touch as Logan wrapped an arm around Janus. he looked over to Janus’s lap where a book sat forgotten. “a fine choice of book if I do say so myself,” Logan said. “thanks,” Janus muttered.

They sat in the quiet for a while. Janus had been trying to keep his emotions in line as the time continued. He burrowed his head into the crook of logans neck. he felt tired, but he didn’t want to sleep. His heart felt heavy. His mind had thankfully begun to slow down. his eyes began to droop as the warmth radiating from Logan. the logical side feeling like a hot water bottle or heater.

A small smile creeped Its way onto his face. Logan had stayed for who knows how long, maybe out of politeness or maybe it was kindness. Either way, it warmed his cold heart. Ever. So. Sightly. and he soon found himself falling fast asleep.

And deep down he hoped that it could last.

Logan glanced down as he felt his shoulder grow heavier. A smile appeared on his face as he looked down to see Janus fast asleep and looking calmer than he had ever seen the snake. he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave Janus. And he didn’t mind if he had to stay until he woke up. he would keep the fact that Janus’s scales had been slightly discoloured by a from of grey mixed with yellow to himself for now. --

Patton had been in the kitchen that faithful night. He had put on the kettle and sat down on a stool by the kitchen island. he hadn’t been able to sleep no matter how hard he had tried. He was beyond exhausted but no attempt had been successful.

There were soft, quiet footsteps coming from the hall. He turned to face the door and felt his eyes go wide as he saw Janus standing at the door shifting nervously. “am I not intruding?” he asked looking at Patton. “of course not kiddo,” he said patting a stool next to himself.

Janus shuffled in, not knowing what to say as he sat down as Patton stood up as the kettle stopped boiling. “would you like some tea?” he asked. “no thank you.”

“are you alright Janus? Would you like to talk about it?” Patton asked as he brought the two cups over. “I’m not fine, it wasn’t a nightmare,” he said before taking a sip of tea. “can I ask what it was about, it might help to tell someone.” “yes,” he said sternly.

Patton stayed quiet after that. he wouldn’t be getting through to Janus today. He tapped his fingers on the counter as he looked into his partially filled cup. the only sound that filled the space was a clinking of cups against the surface.

It was only when Patton looked up from his cup that he spotted it. Janus’s scales were slightly… discoloured. “Janus, do your scales normally turn blue?” he asked looking at them slightly closer. “no, they don’t always do that,” he responded with a small smile. “that’s amazing!” Patton said, stars appearing in his eyes. “you don’t think so?” Janus asked, reaching up his hand to touch his scales. “of course! Its amazing,” he said excitedly,” do you know why they do it?”

Janus’s scales had begun to change slightly a coral colour mixed in as his human side blushed. “it isn’t like a mood ring, it doesn’t help me express my emotions,” he said as he rubbed his neck.

Patton was in absolute awe. “I need to find some paper,” he said before bolting out of the room, causing Janus to let out a chuckle.

Yes, he maybe did let down his cover on his scales for Patton to see. But he knew that Patton would need cheering up.

As the minuets ticked by, Patton came back into the room with a tub of coloured pens and a sheet of paper. “I hope you don’t mind, but I want to make a chart for everyone. I feel we could use it in the future,” he said. “I suppose that will be doable,” Janus said, his nightmare forgotten about by him for now.

“hey Janus, can I let you in on a secret?” Patton whispered with a toothy grin. “very well,” “logans eyes do something similar, just look at the rim of his iris,” he hushed at Janus.

And that’s how they spent the next several hours. With Patton bouncing questions off Janus and creating a mood chart that he would then hang in the Livingroom by the date calendar. Janus wouldn’t say it. but it felt nice to be listened to. Even if it was just answering a few questions.

He hoped that this could last. --

He it wasn’t a good day from the get go. He had woken up late, got piled behind work and skipped both breakfast and lunch.

He was stressed and about ready to begin crying over the fact his pen had stopped working when he felt a presence in his room. he rubbed his eyes before he heard the person speak. “come on Jannie, you need a break,” Virgil?

He turned to face the anxious side. his eyeshadow wasn’t dark like it had been when he was in the deceitful side’s permease

“I'm not fine.” He said as he reached for another pen. “dam right you’re not fine, Janus. Your scales are going grey from stress. Please take a break,” Virgil said, “you haven’t eaten anything all day. Eat and then ill let you get back to whatever this… is?” he said looking down at the barely legible hand writing.

“no,” “great, come on. romans making dinner tonight,” he said as he pulled Janus up from his seat.

As soon as he left the smell of mac and cheese filled his nose, a small grumble came from his stomach. To his misfortune, Virgil had apparently heard. Virgil kept up with the pace and they were in the commons much sooner than Janus would have liked to be. “where aren’t the others?” he asked, noticing a very empty table. “ah, its just us three today. The others have gone to Remus’s imagination believe it or not,” “not including Patton?” he asked surprised.

“yeah, our dear father whisked away by my brother and the dear nerd,” roman said as he peaked his head from the kitchen door, “food’s ready,” he stated with a wink.

As they ate, roman and Virgil began to talk about the recent events that had occurred today. “what do you think of Mr. Flores Janus?” roman said looking over. “I'm afraid I don’t really have an opinion on the matter,” he said, taking another bite from his food. “oh come now, surely you must have,” roman said with a raised eyebrow.

Janus didn’t say anything for a brief moment before he was startled as the prince yelped in pain grabbing his knee. “you don’t have to answer Janus,” Virgil said, wary of the purple shifting scales. “well, I don’t thank you for the meal but I best finish up my work,” Janus said as he stood up. “try and get some sleep tonight, okay?” Virgil said before bringing Janus into a hug, surprising the deceitful side greatly.

As they pulled back, he Janus almost felt his heart lift as he saw the bright purple eyeshadow under the eyes of Virgil. God, how long had it been since they had done that. they must have been around seven the last time he witnessed that.

He had enjoyed the company and break, but he knew he needed to get back to work before Thomas suffered because of the pile up. but for now, he would just enjoy the fact his friend was becoming his old self once more.

He hoped that this could last. --

Two days later he had a heavy knocking at his door followed by a sort of exited screech.

He let the lock on his door go and Remus burst into the room with a wicked grin before faltering slightly. “what the fuck are you doing on the floor?” he asked. “definitely not wallowing in self-pity and doubt. You?” he said sarcastically.

Remus scowled as he looked at his friend on the floor. Looks like today was going to be one of those days. “okay dip shit. Grab as many blankets as you can carry,” Remus said as he plucked Janus up from the floor by the arms. “why?” Janus asked, concern plastered all over his face.

“were taking over the commons today, and they can’t fucking stop us!” he cackled as he grabbed an armful of blankets from the floor.

It took far longer than either would admit, but it did look impressive. Remus in the end had to summon more blankets for the inside, but that just meant Janus had more blankets for future times of need. So, he wasn’t exactly complaining.

They crept inside and Janus immediately flopped down onto a pile of soft and warm blankets. Remus sat by his side and ran a hand through his hair. “when was the last time you had one of these days?” Remus asked, “because I feel like it’s been fucking ages.” “beginning of the week n yesterday,” he mumbled into the pile of blankets. “and you didn’t say anything?” Remus said almost annoyed, “you realise the others and me would be more than happy to led you all their limbs right?” he said as he ruffled Janus’s fluffed up hair. “I don’t know,” he said exasperated, “I just totally want to put all my issues on all of theirs, cause that’s so fair.”

Remus stared at him with a scowl for a couple seconds before a lightbulb lit up in his head. Oh boy, Janus was going to kill him for this.

“give me a couple minuets will you dear snakey?” said side watched as Remus left their blanket fort. A small pool of worry began to build up in his chest. had he offended Remus?

He wasn’t expecting for the sides to trickle in one at a time however. first was roman who quickly placed himself next to Janus, then Virgil who threw a blanket over Janus. The familiar scent of coffee and lavender seemed to somehow put his mind slightly at ease. then came Logan with a book in hand. he sat down a bit away, but he knew that the other was concerned. The blue rimmed brown eyes showing that he was himself in slight distress.

Then came Patton and Remus. Patton was holding a tray of cookies and a couple cups, whereas Remus came in with what he assumed to be a pot of tea.

Remus placed himself on the opposite side of Janus as the side sat up slightly before leaning over and whispering to the snake. “told you they cared,” he said with a victorious smirk.

For the first time in for a long time he felt himself just relax as he felt a hand run through his hair. The warmth and love that surrounded him seemed so real.

He hoped that this would last. --

It had been a week later. The other sides popping their heads in when he was beginning to overwork himself so they could get him to take a break. Patton had found himself occasionally staying up with Janus when neither could sleep and sharing secrets about the other sides. They shared stories from after the mind palace split into the two segments. Giving stories that would have seemed impossible to anyone else.

Logan would often join Janus reading in the Livingroom early in the morning when no one else was awake.

Roman and Remus had begun to take him out into the imagination so he could get some natural heat from the sun. he had found himself happier on those days.

Virgil would often wrap him in a blanket when his scales would begin to show that he was slipping slightly.

But despite all they did for him. He still didn’t know why he felt so… alone? Was that the right word? there was normally an empty feeling in his chest, sometimes when he got too overwhelmed and cried it would appear. He would lose his ability to feel. And he didn’t like it. not one bit.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised when he was summoned. But being lost in a pile of work and in his pyjamas was the last way he had ever wanted to see Thomas. Yet caught up in work, he didn’t even realise he had been summoned.

“Janus, are you okay?” Thomas asked looking down at his side. “hu?” he looked up and around the room. it was just him, Thomas and…Nico. Oh.

“well… this was certainly unexpected,” Janus said,” don’t worry Thomas, just got caught up in my work. nothing else,” he said before snapping his fingers. his papers went back to his room and his normal attire replaced the black and yellow snake themed pyjamas he had been previously wearing.

“so, you are Thomas’s deceit?” “indeed, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person Nico,” he said with a smile.

“wait- Janus… since when did your scales change colour?” Thomas asked as he looked at them with almost the same curiosity Patton had. “ah, yes. I forgot you didn’t know about that,” he said, wincing at the fact he had actually forgotten himself.

Nico stared at the two’s small interaction. “so, do you know why they change colour?” he asked. “imagine a mood ring,” Janus said with a fake smirk, he was ready to bolt at a second’s notice.

Apparently, the fact that he said that had caused Nico to give him a small smile, “not enjoying this?” “I don’t tend to like confrontation unannounced. I preferred to be warned about these things so I'm prepared,” he muttered, giving a small glare at Thomas.

Nico let out a chuckle, “ill remind him next time if this happens again,” he said with a wide smile.

Janus gave a small nod before beginning to sink down. “wait, before you go,” Thomas said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you’re okay Janus,”

Janus was taken back by what he had said but he knew his answer, “some days are always harder than others, but I think I'm going to be fine Thomas, goodbye,” he said as he sunk down.

“you think he’ll be alright?” Nico asked. “eh, knowing the others, they’ll make sure of it,” he chuckled lightly.

Janus rose back up to his room, but he didn’t go straight back to work. Nope. He gathered a couple blankets and made his way to the commons where he made a small cocoon for himself and decided it was time for a nap. it was always warmer out here than in his room.

A warm feeling spread in his chest. covering him completely in a feeling he hadn’t felt in such a long time. hope.

Hope that the future would be okay. That for now everything was okay and he didn’t need to worry so much about Thomas.

He hoped that it would last. --

-two weeks ago-

Every side (other than Janus) and Thomas Were gathered in the real living room for a small meeting. the topic, of course being about the one person who wasn’t there.

“so, I take it we called this meeting for the same reasons? Right?” Patton said, pulling at the sleeves of his cardigan that was wrapped around his shoulders. “I believe so,” Logan said.

“do you two know much about why Janus maybe trying to push us away?” Thomas asked looking over to Virgil and Remus. “its… been like this since we were children. After the mindspace split he sort of just… Closed down. It was around that time he began to lie,” Virgil said meekly.

“the fucker would hide away most the time, but still kept an eye on the louder dark sides. Like a parental figure, but more babysitter than anything else,” Remus said boring his eyes into Thomas’s head.

“so, he’s been like this… for years?” roman Virgil nodded and pulled his legs up onto the sofa, “I don’t think he is aware that he’s no longer there. That he’s safe with us,” he said looking at Remus.

“what do you mean?” Patton asked nervously. “some of the others were known to get. Violent over nothing… he tried his best to keep us away from them,” he said reluctantly, “I just think over the first couple months, he took what they said to heart.”

Everyone remained quiet. Trying to process what was told. every part of their minds seemed to link as one as a single thought coursed into their minds. “well then, looks like we’ve got a lot of work to do. but for now, let’s make sure Janus knows he is welcomed then? Shall we?” roman said as he stood up from his place on the floor.

They looked at one another and nodded. they would make sure Janus knew they’d always be there for him. That would never change.

#sander sides #janus sanders #ts spoilers #nico flores #Virgil sanders #Roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst #fluff #a request has been written!

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deathvalleyqueen · 4 years ago

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Full clear on OC asks for Sam! 💋

Thank you my dear... now lets gush about John’s first born and only son shall we???

BASICS

What’s their full name? - Samuel Joseph Seed

What does their name mean? Why were they named that? - Well he was going to be named Joseph, after his Uncle...The Father... but his mother was having none of that and switched out the birth certificate forms for the one she had filled out because there was no way in hell Mary Jane was about to let her precious baby boy be named after Joseph... though she allowed his middle name to be Joseph as a way to keep the peace.

Do they have any nicknames? - SOOOO MANY! Sam - is the most common one and what most people call him. Sammie - What MJ still calls him even as an adult. Bubby - Ellie’s nickname for him as a child, Thing 1 - Sean’s nickname for him as kids. Cousin It - Finn’s nickname for him. Jesus - another Finn nickname. (because he looks like the only image of Jesus they had ever seen) Weasel - Mac gives him this as small child and sticks.

How old are they? - At the time of New Dawn 24 almost 25 years old.

When’s their birthday? - October 19th

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance?

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities? - He’s a Seed... does that count? He has John’s “far too blue” eyes...so like... That could be considered super powers....

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor? - If there was such thing as a Healer Mage class in the FC universe.. .that would probably be Sam’s class because he is exceptionally smart with a real focus in medicine and science/chemistry. If the Collapse wouldn’t have happened he would probably have gone to Med School to become a surgeon.

APPEARANCE

What do they look like? - Same is the tallest of MJ and John’s kids standing just a hair taller than his father at 5′11. He has long dark brown hair and an impressive beard, both of which he has sported since he was 16 making him often be mistaken for much older than he is. He slight of build and looks to be in far better shape physically than he is actually is.

Do they have a face claim? - Tom Payne - Specifically as Paul “Jesus” Rovia from TWD

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup? - He is a pretty standard guy. He isn’t fancy, mostly because this world doesn’t allow for it. He likes t-shirts, sweaters and jeans. He will wear an old button up shirt if he can find it and has several trench coats he has acquired over the years. His hair is usually down and one the rare occasion that he puts it up, Lily always glares at him and tells him to put his hair down before their mother sees... because with his hair up.. he looks a lot like a young Joseph.

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression? - Sam is a very self assured young man, bordering on the cockiness of John in his youth. He has been painfully aware that he was always one of the more intelligent people in the room from a young age and developed a bit of a superiority complex because of it. He tends to stand with his shoulders back and hands at his side or in his pockets. He is an observer, rarely the person leading the conversation but always watching and passing his judgment.

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities? - Sam is the only one of MJ and John’s kids to have been born with health issues. He had a medium sized hole in his heart when he was born that eventually required surgery. Though since that surgery had very little issue besides a heart mummer. This however left MJ way over protective of him well into adulthood.

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment? Lawful Neutral

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into? - INTP

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)? - Sam loves music, he plays piano and guitar. He is much more of a classical music person and as a child spent hours practicing. His favorite books are Animal Farm and Frankenstein. His favorite food as a child was pizza and pasta, as an adult he is happy with whatever he can get but still loves carbs. His favorite item from his childhood he was able to keep was a model plane that John and him made when he was 6. It’s of John’s plane.

What are they bad at? - Dealing with intense emotions, both their own and other people’s. He never knows how to react and often seems to ‘over react’ with his own emotions. He also can not shoot to save his life.

What kind of things do they dislike/hate? - Unnecessary cruelty. Onions, Fish and split pea soup.

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses? - Well... lets just start with he has a lot of childhood trauma... which defiantly manifests it’s self in some pretty well hidden anxiety and depression. He also comes from a long line of people who suffer with various addictions and I could see Sam having again...a very well hidden...drinking problem. Particularly post-ND events.

What are their goals and motivations? - Their end goal is not peace, as much as an agreement that would allow everyone to function as they need to with in a certain set of rules... IE... he wants to re-establish a ruling body of government on a very small scale in Hope County that would allow for the communities to work together when needed but function independently as they wish as long as they cause no harm to the other communities. This is motivated by his study of history and his belief that because he has studied so much, he has found fault in the old systems and what he will build will be better.

What are their manners like? Any habits? - He has an odd stillness about him, even as small child. He was the quite one, the better behaved of the twins (easily the most well behaved of all MJ and John’s children). He tends to crack his knuckles when he is nervous or clear his throat when he feels the conversation is getting off topic.

What are they most afraid of? - Not being able to do enough. He sees what happened because of his father, his family.. his mother’s family. Sam feels (like all the kids do in some way) responsible for fixing the mess that the Seeds created in Hope County.

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like? - He was born with his sister Lilith at the birthing center in Hope County (but both he and Lily were sent to a much bigger hospital shortly after they were born because the small hospital couldn’t handle them being 8 weeks early). Their childhood before the collapse was filled with pockets of really happy times mixed with stretches of chaos. Both he and Lily vividly remember The Project at Eden’s Gate and the events of the Reaping. Both he and Lily were present for the attempted arrest of Joseph. After the collapse it was still difficult in the bunker as both his parents struggled with believed loss of Jacob, Ellie and worst of all Grace. Once they left the bunker things settled into a new normal. He is very close with Lily and Rose, as well as his Uncle Mac. He is close with both of his parents but is resentful on some level of their preoccupation with losing Grace.

What’s their family like? - A hot mess... but the core they are very tight knit. Sam is more ready to trust a member of his immediate family than anyone else.

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold? - He and Lily were called “The First of the Children of New Eden” within the Project as small children and as an adult he holds the role of the “doctor” in the community John calls “Redemption” but really Sam is main intelligence gatherer as people are very disarmed by him because of his ability to help the sick.

How do they fit into their “story”? - Sam is Ethan’s foil for lack of a better way of putting. Ethan is grasping for power, while Sam wants nothing do with holding an position at all within New Eden. He has no desire to fulfill any of the role that The Father saw him. He is easily the one most suited to lead, but has no desire what so ever to lead anyone or be any manner of spiritual leader to people.

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like?

How do they eventually die? - He dies of a sudden heart attack while speaking to a group of people gathered in New Eden (preaching basically) at the age of 36. He dies before both his parents and all three of his sisters.

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend? - His best friend is easily Lily, because they are twins. Their relationship is just on a different level than other peoples. They understand each other often with just glances and small changes in expression. He also becomes close with Finn, both sharing a bit of a sarcastic and witty sense of humor.

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it?

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids? - Well.. not really. He spends most of his time with his sisters during the story and I never really thought of him in romantic terms...at all. I could see him having kids one day, either “adopting” or by natural means... either or.

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust? - Really the person Sam looks up to the most is Mac. He respects Mac’s ability to pragmatic about difficult choices and always put the others before his own benefit. Mac had a big hand in raising Sam, so this really comes as no surprise. As far as people he trusts, he trusts his family... his sisters (including Grace), his uncles, Rachel/Faith, Ellie,... pretty much everyone but Joseph and Ethan that share DNA with him.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies? - Joseph, mostly because he puts the full blame on what happened with the collapse and the events the happened in his life right before squarely on Joseph’s shoulders. This by proxy extends to Ethan...

Do they have any pets? - As a child he had several, Boomer and Salem even made it to the bunker with them (thank you Sean and Faith) but since then he never really kept bets.

Are they good with kids? Animals? - Yes to both.

FUN FACTS

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes? - The Dutiful Son , Looks Like Jesus/Hippie Jesus (that one goes without saying right?), The Spymaster & Big Brother Instinct

Do they play any instruments? Sports? - He plays Piano and he was never much for sports.

What are some items they always carry?- A knife, a small black notebook and a pen.

Do they collect anything? - Books.

What position do they sleep in? - On his stomach mostly with the pillow over his head rather than under his head.

Which emoji would they use the most? - The eyes emoji

What languages do they speak? - English

What’s their favorite expletive? - Fuck

What’s their favorite candle scent? - Probably like Pine...

What songs remind you of them? - Loosing My Religion - R.E.M

Which animal would you say represents them? - The Raven

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into? - The Weird kids that don’t fit in with any other group who is kinda metal head looking but gets straight A’s.

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be? - Bumper Cars (he actually gets to go once as a child)

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else? - For someone who grew up in such a superstitious home, if Sam doesn’t have evidence for it... he doesn’t believe.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays? - Again, for someone who grew up in such an intensely religious home, he lost all connection to PEG or even conventional Christian beliefs by the time he is an adult he declares he is in Atheist. He does preach about keeping a very personal set of morals that you should adhere to but, not the belief there is an all knowing deity.

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue? - Pride

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be? - The Hierphant

#OC Asks #Samuel Seed #fcnd ocs #this thing was a beast btw

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bnha-mha-imagines · 5 years ago

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Uhm, can i have a little story where the reader is an exchange student from america and misses home, so she's up late one night cooking some american food bc she misses home and like cries while eating it but todo or kiri find them and help them feel better? I'm sorry if i worded this weird, I'm still a little new to requesting things. thank you! ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵

Haha, don’t worry, it wasn’t weird! I picked Todoroki, hopefully this fits what you wanted! :)

Todoroki x Reader

Word Count: 2283

Warnings: Verrry light angst, author being stupid with how Japanese schools work, fluff at the end, potentially ooc Todoroki? Ugh im inexperienced with him

Summary: (Y/n) is a foreign U.S. student at UA. One night she feels very homesick while making nostalgic American food, and Todoroki finds her crying…

UA was elite, and served not only as a distinguished school in Japan, but also on a global scale. When you sent in your application, you had little hope of moving on to the written and practical exam portion, especially with you being from America. So imagine your surprise when you actually received a letter in the mail informing you that you had been invited to Japan, expenses paid on top of that!

Within a week, you and your parents rushed to pack your things into three suitcases and sent you over to Japan on a flight across the Pacific ocean. The whole experience filled you with a mixture of emotions. Of course you were ecstatic to have a chance at attending UA! Surely this was the best school to get you ahead on your hero career. But you couldn't deny the fear that this news struck within you.

It was your first time flying alone, and to a foreign country at that. You were leaving your entire life behind in America without much time to say goodbye to your friends and family. While you could speak Japanese, you were far from fluent by native standards. And, on top of all that, you still had to check into your hotel and take the exams before you were actually admitted into UA. What if you had come all this way just to be sent back?

By the time you arrive in Japan and retrieve your bags from the baggage claim, it was already 1 in the morning. Exhausted, you waited at the pick up line, looking for the person from UA who should be waiting for you. Eyes tired and heavy, you saw a tall man with spiky blond hair holding a sign with your name on it. He was quite the character, and feeling intimidated, you hesitantly introduce yourself with your amateur Japanese.

The man, who introduced himself as one of the teachers at UA and pro-hero Present Mic, was actually very friendly! Despite how weary you felt, you forced a smile, hoping everyone here was as nice as he was. Once you were settled into your hotel, Mic informed you to rest well, for the exams were early the next morning! Leaving you to your room, you leapt into the bed the moment he closed the door.

Without even bothering to change out of your clothes, you fell asleep within seconds, but not before setting an alarm for 7am. As you slept, you weren’t aware that within the next 24 hours you would not only be admitted into the UA hero program, but in the top 1-A hero class.

After two weeks into school, you learned a number of things. First, that being from America instantly made you a class celebrity. Every student in class already knew you the moment you first entered the room, and you were unprepared for how many questions you were bombarded with. Though overwhelming, you had to admit that it was a good ice-breaker for making friends!

Second, not every teacher was as kind as Present Mic. Mr. Aizawa was border-line sadistic, and on top of that you got off to a rocky start. Who would have known your newfound fame would also have Aizawa target you for being a distraction. Unfortunately for you, you had to work two times as hard to prove to him you were serious about your education.

Third, life in Japan was significantly different from America. It was a huge culture shock, and you struggled with the social differences between both countries. Despite your frequent mistakes, your classmates were very forgiving, and gave you helpful tips on how to act appropriately in Japan. Though, you found yourself in quite a few embarrassing situations…

Despite the difficulties, you wore a large smile as time went on. You could feel yourself growing stronger and adapting to life here. You became fast friends with your classmates, especially with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. Uraraka even took you under her wing and helped improve your Japanese! Eventually people began to no longer associate you with America. Instead of ‘the American’, they viewed you as they did any other hardworking classmate.

Even Todoroki, who initially deemed you a distraction, had opened up to you. Much to your surprise, he was actually rather fun to be around despite his cool and intimidating exterior. After Midoriya had introduced you both, you found it much easier to talk to him. Soon your mutual admiration had morphed into a friendship, and you really appreciated his company. While he never showed much interest in where you came from, you appreciated it. It made you feel less like an oddity, like you belonged here.

By the time the first semester finals arrived, life in Japan had become routine and normal. Of course you missed some things about home in America, but you were always having so much fun and were so busy that you rarely had time to feel down about it! At least...that’s what you thought.

At night, when you were alone with your own thoughts, you couldn’t ignore the waves of home-sickness that overwhelmed you. Sure you had made friends; you would even say Todoroki and Uraraka had become your best friends. But, you still felt hollow when you remembered all of the people you had left behind. The food, the weather, the brands… everything was different from what you were used to, and you find yourself missing things as little as a can of coke or some good ol’ Kraft mac n’ cheese.

During one of your bi-weekly phone calls, you relayed to your mom that you were beginning to miss home. As much as you loved everyone here, it was hard to talk to them about home when they could never really understand where you were coming from. Your mother, however, understood completely. The moment you told her you were homesick, she sent you a small care package in the mail of all of your favorite things! It was packed to the brim with American foods and snacks, and your mouth watered just looking at them all!

You pushed the box under your bed, afraid that your friends may try to steal some of them when you clearly needed it more than them. Your supplies were limited after all. It didn’t hurt what they didn’t know!

Now, during the nights when you feel homesick and lonely, you would pop out one of your American snacks. You would close your eyes and imagine you were back home in the states, and for a little bit you would feel better...before you had to open your eyes again and clean up the empty trash.

It was on one of these nights that you decided to make some Kraft mac n’ cheese. You had been saving the box for a particularly hard night, and this one...this one took the cake. Aizawa had put you all through one of the most excruciating training sessions of the month, and on top of that you hadn’t done so hot on one of your quizzes. By now it was too late to call your mom for comfort, and you felt very, very alone.

You were tired, but you couldn’t sleep. So, grabbing the box of Kraft, you quietly snuck out from your dorm to the common room so you could make your food. The common room usually buzzed with activity, but now with most people retired to their rooms, it was quiet. You leaned on the counter, watching the pot for the water to boil.

Time seemed to slow as you absent-mindedly drained the noodles. The moment you ripped open the cheese pouch and got a whiff of that smell, you felt your lip tremble a little. You felt awful.

Making yourself a bowl, you sat down at the table and stared into the food you had made. Your mouth watered as you lifted a spoonful to your mouth, closing your eyes as you ate. Like those many nights before, you tried to imagine you were sitting at your kitchen table back home in America...but you couldn’t escape.

When you opened your eyes your vision was blurred with tears. Sniffling, you forced another spoonful into your mouth desperately hoping it could fill the void in your stomach. It didn’t. Setting the spoon back into the bowl, you rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, little sobs retching out of you. All this time you had refused to cry. All this time you had refused to show anyone how lonely you were. Finally, months of repressed emotion came pouring out.

Overwhelmed, you almost didn’t hear the voice from behind you. “(Y/n)?” You couldn’t respond, trying to quiet your sobs as the person approached you. Looking up, you saw Todoroki take a seat in front of you, concern written all over his usually emotionless face. Your tear-stained face felt hot with embarrassment. You had hoped everyone was asleep by now, but here you were, caught, sobbing over your food. You tried to hide your face, feeling pathetic.

“(Y/n),” Todoroki said more firmly, placing his hands on your forearms to reveal your face. Forced to look him in the eye, you felt your body shake and you laughed pitifully.

“I’m pathetic aren’t I?” you asked him, your voice congested with tears. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you cried. Todoroki didn’t speak for a moment, his eyes piercing.

With his hands still holding you gently, he asked you in a very serious tone. “Did someone hurt you?” You were already shaking your head, sniffling. He left out a relieved sigh, his eyes softening immensely as he looked at you. “Why are you so distraught?”

Again, you felt yourself laugh sadly. “It’s stupid, it’s…” Todorki shook his head at this, causing your lip to tremble as more tears spilled from your eyes. “I-I just really miss everything. My home, my family,” you looked as your bowl of still steaming mac and cheese, “the food…everything.” Surprising you, Todoroki lifted a hand to gently brush away a stray tear. Never since you met him had he been so tender with you.

“You’re homesick,” he mumbled more to himself than you. Hearing it aloud was enough to send tremors through you, another wave of emotion overtaking you. Letting you cry it out, you felt his hand take and squeeze your own. The pressure was reassuring. As you finished, you heard him speak softly to you. “Tell me about it.”

You blinked, a surprised look crossing your teary eyes. “About America?” Ever since you met, Todoroki had never expressed interest in the United States. That was one of the reasons you liked hanging out with him at first. Seeing him ask about it now was unexpected to say the least.

Todoroki shook his head. “Not about America, about your home.” You blinked. His request was so much different than everyone else’s. People were usually only interested in the school system, or the politics, or the culture. His eyes were so serious, you couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that he actually wanted to hear about your past.

You sniffed, wiping your eyes. “Well,” you began, “I had this one friend…” you began to tell him about your past-life, from your friendships, to your family, to your favorite places to go in your home-town. It was the first time you had spoken about it to anyone at UA, and seeing how intently Todoroki listened to you made you feel as if every word you said was important. The whole while you spoke his hands encased yours, letting you know in a tangible language that he was there. You talked until your voice ran dry and your food was cold.

You finished talking, and your eyes felt heavy. You were exhausted from crying, and by now it was very late. Todoroki was already helping you to your feet when you yawned. “I’ll clean this up for you,” he said, looking into your face. “You should get to bed. Can you walk?”

You felt your heart flutter at his concern for you. “Yes,” you said, voice tired. Todoroki looked at you for a few seconds before shaking his head, unconvinced. Silently, he reached out and lifted you into his arms effortlessly. Feeling heat rise to your face, you went silent, wrapping your arms around him to better balance yourself.

As if you were as light as a feather, he carried you back to your dorm, using one hand to carefully open your door without dropping you. Once he made it to the side of your bed, he gently sat you down. “I’m going to go clean up,” he spoke, his eyes running over your form. “Will you be alright on your own?” You nodded, still flustered from your ride.

Todoroki seemed assured, turning to leave. In a moment of panic, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. “W-Wait,” you began, eyes wide as he pauses to look back at you. “Thank you...for staying up with me and for listening.” You looked down, shy. Feeling a slight pressure on your forehead, you glance back up to see Todoroki pulling away.

“You’re welcome, (Y/n),” he said softly, a fond look in his eyes. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow. For now you should get some rest. Sweet dreams.” Quietly, he left the room and shut the door, leaving you wondering if he had even been there at all.

Rolling over in your bed, you felt a fuzzy feeling in your chest as you remembered how he kissed your forehead just a minute ago. Suddenly, you didn’t feel quite so alone.

#todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #mha imagines #request #bnha headcanons #bnha matchup #shoto todoroki

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

Text

Like They Do in Vegas, 2/5 (Vanique) - Mac

AN: Thanks a million to Meggie and Alex for betaing this chapter and being legends, icons, and stars.

Hope you enjoy!!

BGM Challenge Notes: Vanessa and Monique’s friends show up in Chapter 4! And here is the playlist I made for this fic.

Summary: Monique and Vanessa get to know each other over a very early (2 am) breakfast, with the backdrop of the Las Vegas strip.

They didn’t go back to Monique’s room like Vanessa expected.

Instead, Monique hailed a cab with one outstretched, manicured hand, gave the address of The Venetian, and they climbed in the car without another word.

The drive was short even though the roads were packed. Vanessa stared out the window to keep from staring at Monique.

They called New York the city that never sleeps, but Vanessa would bet her left tit that New York didn’t have the same energy that Vegas did at 3 a.m. The sidewalks were packed, and the lights were bright as sunlight. Vanessa would have winced if her eyes hadn’t adjusted to the brilliance years ago.

They pulled up to the hotel, the fountains and massive scale of the whole place only really hitting Vanessa when she stood next to it. Monique thanked their driver with a twenty. Vanessa held her head high and pretended this was normal, that beautiful women with deep pockets took her out regularly.

They made their way inside the lush reception area and Monique led Vanessa with a hand to her back up the intricate staircase. Vanessa had been to the Venetian before. When friends came to visit and wanted to see the infamous hotel, or the rare occurrence when she would go home with a target. She was never there for longer than a handful of minutes. Hadn’t gotten the chance to stare at the gold-flecked columns, or the rose-dipped ceiling. The plum color drenching the seating that littered the floor, the layout both relaxed and rigid in the same breath.

Vanessa was in awe. People milled about the lobby like they belonged, walking slowly, taking their time. The luxury practically sang in their blood.

They ascended the stairs and headed toward the Grand Lux Cafe. Monique requested a table on the outside balcony, and before Vanessa could blink, they were seated high above the twinkling city, breathing in the open air.

Their waitress greeted them with that quintessential Vegas charm in that she barely looked at them and grunted after each of their orders.

Vanessa went to order something dainty, like a salad or a soup, but Monique cut her off saying they’d both take a full order of waffles with all the sides and extra butter. Vanessa just quirked an eyebrow up at her.

“So tell me about yourself.”

The sudden absurdity of the situation, as well as the question, caught Vanessa off guard and she let out a laugh that could have shaken the tables. Monique let her, grinning wildly in the interim.

Vanessa made a wide sweeping gesture with both hands, chest feeling oddly light. “What do ya wanna know?”

“Well, first of all, you can start by telling me your name,” Monique teased. “Your real name.”

Vanessa started at this.

Her reaction must have not been what the older woman was expecting, because she quickly went to correct herself. “Or not! You don’t have to tell me.” Monique looked down at the table.

“No, no, it’s fine, I just…” Vanessa shook her head slightly. “Most people don’t care enough to ask.”

Monique looked up at her, a trace of sadness in her eye. Vanessa chose to ignore it for now in favor of the conversation.

“Vanessa.”

“That’s pretty.”

Vanessa hummed. “It does the job.” She looked up at Monique from under her lashes. A practiced move. “What do you do, Monique?”

The older woman’s eyes flicked over the balcony to the city below. “I run a marketing management firm.”

Makes sense with the watch, Vanessa’s mind interjected.

“What does that mean?”

Vanessa knew what it meant. She’d met with more businessmen than she knew what to do with over her three-year residence.

HR was where the older men went after Wall Street prowling. Social Media Management was for the younger ones, early/late twenties who were still wet behind the ears. Marketing could go either way, usually catering to the folks with accounting degrees and an interest in psychology.

Vanessa knew. She played dumb because targets always liked telling you about what they do. They liked explaining things to the poor uneducated little girl with wide eyes and a slit in her dress. Vanessa played her part, still unsure of where she stood with Monique.

The older woman chuckled, her eyes darting back to Vanessa. “It means I boss around the people that boss other people around, and we create promotional materials for major companies.”

“Anyone I’d know?” Vanessa asked absentmindedly, allowing plenty of time for her present company to drone on and on about how incredible her business ventures were. How rich she was. How important it all made her.

The left corner of Monique’s mouth twitched up. “I’m not at liberty to say.”

Vanessa chuckled, a bit taken aback by the lack of droning. “Oooh, mysterious.”

Monique hummed.

“Well, you clearly good at your job,” Vanessa said.

Monique quirked up an eyebrow. “Why would you say that?”

“The watch,” Vanessa said before she could think better of it.

“Yeah, I noticed you eying it earlier,” Monique said, voice calculated. Not judgmental, but measured. “Is that how you pick your…”

“Targets?”

“People?”

They answered simultaneously.

Monique chuckled. “Well, when you put it like that.” She took a long sip of her drink and Vanessa found herself wanting to apologize. She bit her tongue before she could actually follow through with such a hair-brained idea.

Instead, she shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Monique nodded, still not giving away her feelings, face set in a slight upturn of her lips. “So how do you pick your marks then?”

Vanessa ran a hand through her hair absentmindedly. “Why do you wanna know?”

Monique shrugged. “Humor me,” she said. “Walk me through the steps, Vanessa.”

Monique’s tongue curling around the syllables of her name made Vanessa’s insides light up in an all too familiar way. She had to break eye contact or she was going to do something stupid.

She also had to take a minute to collect her thoughts. No one had ever asked her anything like this before. Targets didn’t usually want the illusion broken. They knew what they were to her, but you weren’t supposed to acknowledge it. It was a weird game of social chicken.

“Okay. Well.” Vanessa coughed. “First step is lookin’ the part.” She motioned to her dress, still reflecting the city lights below them. “You gotta be eye candy.”

Monique bit back a smile, and Vanessa could feel her eyes trailing down the length of her neck. The flush spreading to her cheeks made Vanessa’s head a little fuzzy.

“Second step is knowin’ your worth. You don’t go to seedy casinos or you get creeps. You wanna roll high, aim high. Bellagio, Caesars Palace, Cosmopolitan,” Vanessa said matter-of-factly. “They put you out, you’re better off working the corner. Casino girls get paid dust. Less than dust. But you don’t wanna be on the streets.”

Monique hummed noncommittally, prompting Vanessa to continue.

“Step three ain’t somethin’ you learn. You gotta be good with people. Know what they want. Men are easy. Sex, booze, drugs, gettin’ off. Simple.” Vanessa let out a breath. “The real art in it all comes in the form of pretendin’ to not know any a that. A lot of what you do is pretendin’ you can’t tell your left foot from your right. Targets love explainin’. Makes ‘em feel good to brag to somebody they ain’t ever gonna see again.”

The older woman nodded, crossing her legs under the table.

Vanessa nodded to herself. “Then you got ‘em. Make ‘em feel special, get ‘em drinks, whisper in they ear till they pockets empty. You get that check from the casino at the end of the week, and sometimes targets offer you more to sleep with ‘em. If that’s your thing then there ya go.” Vanessa leaned back in her chair, just in time for their food to arrive.

The waitress set their plates down none too gently and scattered the second she affirmed they needed nothing else.

“Sounds like a lot to keep track of,” Monique mused, twirling her empty fork in her hand.

“It ain’t so bad.” Vanessa shrugged. “I could be out on the street.”

They paused for a moment to dig into their food, Vanessa’s stomach noisily thanking her for the extra syrup. Monique watched her with light in her eyes. It was unnerving. Not in a bad way per se. It was just different.

A not wholly unwelcome different.

Vanessa read people well, it was her job. But for some reason, she couldn’t get a clear read on Monique, her motivations, or what drove her. Usually, Vanessa only had to nod and smile as people freely offered up information about themselves for her to use. Monique was playing her cards close to her chest, not unlike the way she had been playing the games earlier.

Monique hummed as she set her fork down gently next to her plate. “Will you show me?” she asked.

“Huh?”

Monique looked around at the other tables for a moment before pointing to a well-dressed man, early thirties, younger than her usual targets.

“Walk me through how you would… acquire him.” Monique settled on.

Vanessa was intrigued. This woman, she wasn’t doing anything by the book. Targets didn’t ask her questions, didn’t listen to her answers. They talked and she half-listened and wished she were anywhere else. Monique was throwing that all out the window, or, over the balcony.

“Why?”

Monique shrugged simply, still hiding her motivations behind a curious smile. “I wanna see you in action.”

“How do you know you ain’t been seein’ me in action?” Vanessa quirked up a brow. Challenging.

“You wouldn’t have left the casino with me if I were just another target.”

Monique had her there.

Vanessa swallowed pointedly. “Well, he’s young,” she threw out, eyes trailing up the man’s form. “Thirties. No wedding ring, which is a good sign, makes my job easier.”

Monique’s eyes darted back over the balcony.

“If we were at a casino he’d probably be playing Texas Hold-Em. All the bachelors love that game, I swear.” Vanessa smiled to herself. She looked over to see the young man grinning widely with his date. “He’s wearing Valentino, so he’s definitely a fan of the classics, old movies and old stereotypes of women included.”

Monique chuckled “And you know that just from his suit?”

Vanessa nodded. “His haircut says accounting, but he ain’t got a watch, so he probably works in an office building. My guess is he a trust fund baby workin’ for daddy’s company in a big city.” Vanessa shrugged, satisfied with her answer. “But he’s not a local,” she added as an afterthought.

“How do you know?” Monique questioned.

Vanessa allowed a smirk to envelop her features. “He keeps lookin’ over the balcony.”

Monique’s eyes widened for a split second in shock. But only for a second.

Vanessa smirked inwardly. The first slip of this woman’s cool facade hit Vanessa like a drug. She needed more of it.

“If we was at the casino I’d bump into him on accident, pitch my voice higher, like this.” Vanessa demonstrated, clearing her throat before she spoke in a squeaky and unfamiliar way. She feigned dainty. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I did that, I’m so clumsy. Let me make it up to you with a drink.”

“And that works?” Monique raised a brow incredulously.

Vanessa nodded. “He’d be thrown off at first but he’d get a good look at me and say no harm done. He’d probably make some comment about how ‘the man should buy the drink.’ And I’d smile and look down at my feet. Make myself small. He’d offer to buy me a round. I’d refuse ‘cause I’m workin’. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer, those guys never do.”

Monique’s smile faded and she nodded slowly, understanding crossing behind her eyes.

“Bada-bing, bada-boom. I hit my quota for the night.” Vanessa tried to finish with a bit of a flare to lighten the suddenly tense mood.

Monique was just looking at her stunned, mouth gaping open. “That’s amazing.”

Vanessa was thrown by the compliment.“W-well, it’s the job.” She cursed her voice for coming out unsteady.

“No, the way you did that, just then.” Monique reached across the table to grasp Vanessa’s hand. “Observed all that about him just from one look.”

Vanessa was most assuredly blushing now. “Oh, well, I—”

“It’s amazing!” Monique exclaimed. “Really, Vanessa you’re so incredible.”

The tone of Monique’s voice was too genuine for Vanessa’s liking. She didn’t know how to respond to that, to any of it. People didn’t act like that. They weren’t nice for no reason. Monique had an agenda.

Everyone did.

Still, Vanessa could feel in her gut that Monique wasn’t out to hurt her. Monique was different. Or maybe that was the silly romanticism getting in Vanessa’s head again. It was getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

“I wouldn’t say that…”

Monique cut her off. “I would. I just did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Then that settles it.” Monique smiled. “You’re amazing.”

#rpdr fanfiction #vanessa vanjie mateo #monique heart #vanique #casino girl au #lesbian au #fluff #angst #developing relationship #fic challenge #black girl magic fic #like they do in vegas #mac #diversity fic #s10

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ego-driven-one-wing-angel · 5 years ago

Text

Send a number | Answers

Thanks again for 250 followers!!!

What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A penguin. I love them so much.

Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Sometimes I wear one of those “drug rugs” or baja hoodies. With shorts. And sometimes knee high socks. I HATE pajama pants. So if I’m cold I find alternatives.

What song really gets you going?

Right now, Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood. But usually Tranz by Gorillaz.

Where do you usually eat your meals?

At my dining table or in the family/living room with my mom.

Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

BRUNCH

Most embarrassing habit?

Sometimes I’ll pick my nose at the most inconvenient times like a child.

Chocolate or fruity candy?

Chocolate

Soft or hard tacos?

When I ate meat regularly, soft, with carne asada.

Worst way to break up a fight?

Throwing a pan at them? Dude I don’t know. Wrestle them to the ground? I feel like either of those are terrible.

Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”

What color/design are your bedsheets?

Teal. And my comforter is a black/white diamond pattern.

Any hidden talents?

I was a dancer for roughly nine years. So I’m pretty good at that.

Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

My Star Wars Luke Skywalker lightsaber water bottle.

Socks or bare feet around the house?

Bare feet man. Those who wear shoes in the house are weak and will not survive the winter.

Favorite board game?

Clue!

Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

I don’t even own a fan.

Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Heat at 67.5 and a sweater. Perfection.

Do you sing in the shower?

Who doesn’t?

Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Tranz by Gorillaz. All time favorite song EVER.

Last thing you cried about?

Watching Zack die YET AGAIN in Crisis Core. I don’t think I’ve ever watched that scene WITHOUT crying.

At what age did you first have alcohol?

15ish. Wine.

Relationship status?

Single

What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

249$ A Guess coat that I absolutely adore.

What do you typically wear to formal events?

A modest dress. Heels. And a Louis Vuitton bag to match.

Favorite memory?

Probably almost getting arrested with my friends back when I was 17. We were at a closed park, after hours, past curfew, and it was like 3 am. We bought 64 tacos from Jack in the Box and pigged out in the venue. Super rad.

Gum or breath mints?

Gum

Favorite shoes?

Probably my Guess sneakers. I don’t wear them often, but I love the design.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My chubbiness. I’m not fat per say. But I’m not skinny either, but I want to look more like a classic, 1950′s pinup model more than anything.

What is the natural state of your hair?

My hair has very soft curls. Naturally, there more like “beach waves”

Have you ever had braces?

YES. WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Ghost hunting. I was illegally trespassing, and the building was real sketchy.

Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

I’m just an embarrassment through and through. What haven’t they caught me doing. But I guess writing porn is a close first.

Last time you had an orgasm?

I’m a virgin who has never experienced anything remotely sexual.

Celebrity crush(es)?

Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgard, Sam Claflin, Karl Urban, Sebastian Stan

Windows or Mac?

I’ve never owned a Mac, so I’m biased when I say Windows.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

Six, seven? I was still quite young.

Makeup or natural?

MAKEUP

What color do you wear the most?

I wear a lot of neutral colors like gray.

Favorite season?

Winter.

Umbrella or rain coat?

Umbrella.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

First car you ever owned?

A 2002 Toyota. Super old, and the chip was painting off. My trunk also broke. Oil leak. Y’know, a traditional first car.

What time do you usually go to bed?

Anytime between 11-1 am.

Are you a competitive person?

Yes.

Least favorite color?

Orange.

First pet you’ve ever owned?

A cat :)

Sweet or salty?

Sweet

Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli

Favorite kind of chips?

Cheetos

Talk about something you’re passionate about.

Writing. I love being able to put my ideas on paper, let my thoughts and emotions run free in a world where I have to act a certain way. I can be anyone while writing!

What are some of your hobbies?

Writing

Drawing

Watching too much television

puzzles

Caffeine? If so, what kind?

I’m a tea gal. But I LOVE coffee. Especially mochas and caramel. With extra pumps of espresso. Hell yeah.

Favorite kind of pizza?

Ranch and Chicken or just plain cheese.

Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

Sit-down

Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

I love having a large circle, but I choose my best friends wisely. I only have about two or three of those and they’re the one’s I keep close to my heart.

Something that ruins your appetite?

This is a bit more dark, but my dad and I don’t bond outside video games. And he’s the type that believes it’s his way or no way no matter what. So if you get him angry he acts like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away, and will try to push your buttons until you’re the same way. I saw the signs years ago, but whenever his anger is targeted at me I just don’t want to eat. I write instead.

Favorite labels about you?

As in names? It’s near 1 am while writing this so I might have just gone stupid. But I love it when my friends call me cutie. Or my good friend Charlie calls me Smarties. And he’ll pull out a smartie from his pocket when he does it. I also get called Reid, as in Spencer Reid, a lot.

Are you a religious person?

Yes. I try to be at least. I’m Christian.

Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Night out. I spend too much time indoors with one friend as is.

What size shoe do you wear?

Favorite thing about yourself?

My confidence, or my keen fashion sense.

Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

No.

Have you ever had sex on the first date?

No.

Heroes or villains?

Villains. (Sephiroth, Bucky Barnes, Loki, etc.)

Favorite fruit?

Pomegranates.

Least favorite fruit?

Bananas. I’ll eat them, but there are a lot better choices honestly.

Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

Least favorite vegetable?

Brussels sprouts

How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

About a good three. First is salad. Second is fruit. Third is desert.

Favorite dessert?

Ice cream. Bubble gum flavor is my favorite!

Do you play any sports?

Nope.

Age you learned how to swim?

Seven or eight.

Tell a funny story.

Maybe this is just funny to me, but earlier today my cat was trying to lick her coat but she set her front paw on a piece of paper and anytime she bent over to lick herself she slid and she would have to readjust herself. She did this like four times before she decided to move.

What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

As someone who is a part of the Navajo tribe, something neat is the more fat you have on your bones the more people respect you because they believe you have money.

What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

We can’t touch cold-blooded animals. It’s said if you touch the scales of a snake, or even breath in the same air, you’ll get the same skin as them.

What job would you be terrible at?

Accounting. I can’t do math to save my freaking life.

Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

TV shows.

What’s your favorite compliment to give?

“Cute Outfit!” or “Love the Hair!” You have no idea how many people light up on either of these, male/female/nonbinary. Looking good is a happiness found across all the spectrums.

What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

“Cute hair.” Or “Love your makeup/nails.”

Has your opinion changed on something recently?

I can’t remember. Like I said, it’s close to bedtime where I’m at and boi, it’s hard to concentrate right now.

Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

I order the same.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

This sounds awful, but I’ve always wanted to try ecstasy. I have buddies who’ve taken it and say, if you do it right, the first time is pretty bomb.

If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Singing. I can’t carry a tune.

Favorite physical feature about yourself?

My eyes.

Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

My wide hip/waist ratio. If my waist was thinner I wouldn’t mind as much.

What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

OKAY. I scored a strike on Wii bowling while i was on the toilet one time. Two rooms away and not even looking at a screen. Just using my heart and determination and it was SUPER COOL AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE SKILLS.

If you could change your height, would you?

Yes. Everyone is a good foot taller than me. So I would most definitely want a few more inches.

What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Character concept for Sephiroth. The eyes, the height, the hair. WOW. In love.

Heels or flats?

Heels

What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

Politics. I want to get more involved but every time I do I get so confused.

Would you want to be famous?

I wouldn’t mind. But I value my private life.

What’s something you would get arrested for?

Well I already almost got arrested for eating tacos in a closed park at 3 am. So maybe that.

What’s your spirit animal?

A cat.

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

The fact that I graduated high school. I was developing anxiety and literally had no idea what the frick was happening with me and no one told me what it was. So I ended up skipping loads of school for that reason.

Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

Organized mess. Or just a mess.

Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

The future.

Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

Planner. I hate when things are sprung on me last minute. I have to emotionally prep up before a social event so 5-10 business days are needed.

Thoughts on the oxford comma?

I was taught to use it, but it’s literally so useless? I found myself either not using it or just doing it on instinct. So in one story you could probably find multiple instances where I use it and where I don’t use it, maybe in the same paragraph. I just do whatever fits that moment I guess.

What do you hope never changes?

My squad. I love them to pieces and it would break my heart if at some point they’d want to split.

How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

Something extremely dangerous like skydiving or zip lining across a canyon.

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recklessrex · 5 years ago

Note

8 - 14

"Pick your poison" so I'm gonna do Sullivan since I haven't talked about him in a while.

8. Is there anyone that they currently aren’t speaking to? Why?

No one that he's not speaking to out of spite, but several people from his past that he simply doesn't see anymore. Other Rats mostly. He's been hanging out in an all-Cat community for over a decade. But he'd still speak to most of them if they were around. Mostly…

9. What is something that would break them emotionally?

Losing Macavity would break him probably. He's got a tough heart, though, and would probably manage to scrap himself together and carry on, but he would never be the same. Being betrayed by Mac, however, would utterly ruin him. He's experienced too much betrayal in his life, and yet he still trusts Mac with all his heart. Betrayal at this point would just be too much. He'd never be able to trust again.

10. Sacrifice the one to save many, or save the one no matter the cost?

Depends on the one. Sacrifice Mac? Never. Not for anyone. Not for every Rat in the world. Beyond that, thought, it's a sliding scale. As he doesn't have many people at this point that he's very closely bonded with, he's probably more likely to take the practical rather than the sentimental approach, and prioritize the group's safety over the individual's in most cases.

And if the "one" is himself, again, it probably depends on the "many." He's done both in the past, having had to ignore cries for help in order to save himself, as well as putting his own life in great danger to give others a chance to survive. He doesn't really think about these things (he's learned the hard way not to think too hard in life or death situations) just acts on instinct, so it's hard to predict what he'd actually do.

11. Do they have any illnesses?

Including mental health issues? PTSD, undiagnosed. Treated pretty much solely through the support of his friends. And when I say "friends" what I mean is "Mac"

12. What is the fastest way to upset them?

Hmm...

Well if you're Mac, start talking down about yourself, especially start talking like no one loves you or wants you around. Sullivan knows it's the depression talking, but he still can't help but feel offended and overlooked, and besides it scares him when Mac talks that way. He'll absolutely scold and backtalk Mac for forgetting about him to his face.

It's gotten to the point that he recognizes when Mac is leaning towards those feelings and Sully will gently, but firmly, remind him he's "getting in a mood" which can often be enough to remind Mac that his bitter, self-depreciative thoughts are largely lies told by his depression, at the very least remind him that even if everyone else does hate him, Sully doesn't. Sully never lets him forget that.

If you're Alonzo, pretty much just do any sort of taunting. Verbal battles are practically a game between them these days.

If you're anyone else… well it varies. Implying he's less of a person simply for being a Rat is a good way to do it. Although if you just call him "Rat" in a derisive tone, he's likely to just mock you and laugh at you. "Oh no you called me what I am! I'm so offended! Hehahah!"

13. What is something that makes them uncomfortable?

Certain memories can trigger a pretty negative reaction in him, ranging from unease, to distrust, to hostility, all the way up to panic attacks and even flashbacks. He hasn't figured out all his triggers yet (largely because he doesn't want to think about them), but there's definitely something about the way certain people talk that makes him suspicious and uncomfortable. There's a particular person in his past, someone he'd rather forget, that he associates with certain mannerisms and speech patterns, and even a select few phrases, and he finds himself judging people (especially the ones that are already setting off "sociopath" alarm bells in his head) by how much they remind him of that particular person.

Looming over him a certain way is another surefire way to get him uneasy. Mac discovered this was the only time Sully showed any real fear of him, not when he rages, not when he roars and spits and swears and threatens, not even when, at the peak of his temper, he pins him against the wall or even goes to far as to strike him or knock him down. Sully wouldn't be happy about it, but he would never show fear. He may be surprised, he may be sad, he may be pissed, but he would never be afraid. Only when Mac stands over him, back straight, head down, shoulders hunched slightly, close enough to touch knees with him, and glares calmly and silently down at him. Only then is Sully afraid. Only then does Sully shrink away from him.

Mac makes a point not to loom over Sully.

14. What is something that never fails to make them excited?

Chocolate. Especially s'mores, which he rarely gets to have anymore since leaving America. If he learns there's s'mores to be had he'll start doing a little happy dance, dignity be damned.

#thanks for asking!#Sullivan #my ocs #cats ocs #character asks #Macavity #Alonzo

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arigatouiris · 6 years ago

Text

out of my league // t.h — 04

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: Alright, for those of you who aren’t Star Wars fans, I apologize in advance. I know it’s not very reader-centric if I add in details about myself as the reader. You can choose any celebrity instead of Mark Hamill who’s mentioned here (I am such a fan, it makes me cry I just can’t). Apologies are in order~ Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3253 (Yes, it’s a bit long this one, haha)

Series Masterlist

03 | 04 | 05

Fortunately for (y/n), days were passing by quite fast. It was almost dinnertime on that Sunday night when she realized that her week off was over, now she had to head back to work; nonetheless, working on the desk won’t be too much fun. She’d have to edit articles, pass them over, copy edit them once they were rechecked by the writer, and then send them over once again. She would have no time for herself, this she was prepared for, and perhaps, she could get her mind off the hate that swarmed her way by burying herself in her work.

(y/n) wasn’t too much of a workaholic, but she could definitely aim to be one during times of distress. Work had never been too much of a problem for her, and when things got too overwhelming on the outside, (y/n) would work a wall of paperwork around her to prevent anything from getting inside. Some would call this destructive, but human beings were a force of nature; moving toward tendencies of self-destruction like adding sugar to your tea. We cope this way, some of us, not knowing or not wanting to cope in a healthier way. For the healthy way required effort and courage, and with growing times, humans were starting to lack either of them.

It wasn’t that (y/n) was a coward. Anxieties fuelled her actions, obsessive thoughts kept her company at night, and ever since becoming an adult, one revelation after another led her to believe that this was not just hard but impossible; a destiny she never chose, but had no other choice but to embrace. Human beings were inherently alone, and that was alright. It was the loneliness that caused problems.

“Susannah’s going to go easy on me, for sure,” She spoke to herself, as she took a spoonful of the mac and cheese she made for herself. “I can’t have that.”

Whenever (y/n) closed her eyes, she saw it. She saw those two girls calling her a slut and demanding an apology from her end. I won’t apologize for doing my job, her resolve was slowly weakening with every passing day, the hate mail kept pouring in and now there were memes about her on the internet. She’d now gotten used to not checking Instagram or Facebook (she still couldn’t believe some of those fans had found her Facebook ID, despite all the security she put up from preventing this).

Some of her friends had once told her back in college that any fame was good fame, but she now disagreed more than she did before. This was revolting, and tiring—mentally, more than anything else. And this was a place where she’d gone unwillingly, and couldn’t go back from.

Her sleep cycle was messed up, something she knew what the cause was. However, she never let that bother her day’s work. (y/n) woke up the next morning with a newfound ambition. To not let this bother her and her getting back up on her feet. As positive as she was trying to be, (y/n) knew that this was a step toward the normal again; once the week long break was over, (y/n) would start work again, and perhaps, in a couple more weeks, she can go back to writing reviews, as she once did, and no one would stop her.

This had to happen, she told herself as she drank her morning Americano. This is a pitfall in my career, as it happens in almost everyone’s careers, she nodded to herself as she put on her shoes. She locked her home, and headed out. This is a new day, she told herself and forced herself to smile—the biggest defense against anything odd that may approach her.

It had been three days of radio silence from Tom’s end. She didn’t know if she was being unfair to him, she knew better than most that actors had to avoid appearing in public with someone who has a scandal going on (if at all this could be considered a scandal). His manager would have prevented him from making any more opinionated Instagram stories, and that was possibly the reason why Tom had to stay out of the entire ordeal that happened at the coffee shop.

She knew all this, but it stung her still. She was a person, and she genuinely wanted to take Tom’s apology and leave it at that. Now, things were devoid of a closure and it felt all too awkward to even think about.

Despite the understanding she could give herself in her mind over what Tom had to do, (y/n) was hurt. This pain forced her mind to turn bitter, a sort of defense mechanism for preventing future pain. Pain, in all its unwanted glory, is the pesky part of being human. It was something we all wish we could do without, but it followed you closely behind, demanding attention to its presence. Her mind refused to accept Tom as a celebrity and his choices for starting this entire thing. Her mind told her that his repeated efforts to apologize and his agony for not obtaining the closure that he sought was something he deserved.

Tom was a celebrity, the world loved him and cherished him, and one person’s hate was not going to sway his motion. So she would hate. Filled with rage and ire, (y/n) blamed him entirely. No amount of apology would sway her mind, for now, she held a grudge. When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two rarely meet. I’m out of his league, she thought and compared this scale with kindness. She could be kind where he could not, because he was a celebrity. And as destructive as this thought process was, it eased her pain a tad bit.

She gave credit to the radio silence.

“What happened after that?” Haz asked, sipping on his ice tea.

Tom groaned, “Well, after those girls hurled a few more insults at her, I had to get her out of there. But, it wasn’t good enough. I was too late and she was already too hurt. I keep screwing my chances of apologizing to her, and yet, make things worse for her too.” Tom’s voice was low.

Harrison blinked at his friend. Taking another sip of his ice tea, he wished he knew exactly what to say to Tom and make his friend feel better, but there was nothing. A sort of nothingness that grew and loomed over people who have tried and failed.

“You can’t go surprise meet her again though, could’ja?” Haz half-heartedly joked.

Tom didn’t respond. He occasionally found himself staring at her contact in his phone, sometimes staring at her private profile on Instagram (which, he reminded himself over and over again, hadn’t followed him). Tom recalled her eyes creaking at the corner when she smiled, and that she drank black coffee, and that her gaze could penetrate against hard walls of steel. Maybe, it was because he had done her wrong that he was so interested in gaining her forgiveness. Maybe, it was because she was simply one more person trying so hard to get by, and something he had done had prevented and turned everything to dust, that he wanted to apologize and gain her forgiveness.

Tom told himself a countless different reasons why he wanted her forgiveness but forgot the most important and logical one of them all.

“I haven’t ever seen you try so hard to say sorry before, mate.” Haz’s voice was soft, this time. Not even close to her cherry pink.

Tom flushed. Sometimes, the most logical of answers were not too logical. Tom Holland had a tiny crush on (y/n) (l/n), and perhaps, it developed after reading her words for him and grew nastily over seeing her in person. It wasn’t impossible, he was human and human beings, more than other creatures, were known to understand this fondness they can project over another person. However, it didn’t strike his mind, nor did he care too much to find out at the moment.

“She’s been getting hate mail, and she was called such nasty things. I feel so fucking terrible, it’s not sane.” Tom brushed a hand through his hair. It was greasy. He needed to shower.

“Maybe, you can make an Instagram story over—”

“I can’t, mate. Manager’s been bustin’ my arse over already having done one opinionated story. Can’t mess things up again, Haz,” Tom groaned before rolling back on the couch. “God, I’m such a div!”

Harrison laughed. But, what more could he do but laugh, when he had nothing else to say?

The last time (y/n) had forgotten to check the time on the clock was when she was writing the review for Birds of a Feather.

She was grateful that the people at work never openly spoke to her about the review or Tom Holland or the fact that she kept making frequent and unneeded appearances on the media for doing things in the past. She prayed and hoped that unlike what had happened with Chris Evans (she had sent him a private message on Twitter hoping that there was no misunderstanding, to which no response had come her way), things would not turn around with any other celebrity. Especially the one she had in mind, Mr. Hamill. She remembered being asked to write reviews for all the Star Wars movies, because she was a famous critic who hadn’t seen them.

And because the London Daily had no review published for the Star Wars movies, (y/n) was chosen for the job. And as she watched those movies, the more she fell for Mark Hamill, and the more she had hoped he would read her reviews.

She had written it descriptively, talking about the chronology that people who had never even seen Star Wars before must watch in. From an everyday regular person, (y/n) had turned into a Star Wars fan, and her life was colorful. Her only hope amidst all this chaos was that her name not be tarnished along with Mark Hamill’s. I can do with anyone hating me just, not him, please not him, she thought as she sent another mail with copy edited documents.

“How’s your day going, (y/n)? Long? Hard?” Aditi, one of the reporters asked, chewing on a candy.

(y/n) rolled her eyes, “Please don’t say anything with that tone, I know what you mean when you say ‘long’ and ‘hard’ together.”

Aditi chuckled before sighing.

“I know it’s difficult right now, but take it easy, alright? Back in India, this would have died down in like, three days. But, I’m telling you that you’re insane for being this brave. I’m proud of you.” Aditi’s smile could light up the universe.

“Thanks, darlin’. You’re my savior.” (y/n) said, smiling back.

A moment later, Bruce, one of the interns, came rushing to where (y/n) and Aditi were. His eyes were wide and his pale face was red. The women blinked at him before waiting for him to tell them why he was here the way he was.

“You’re on the news again, with Jenny again, and it’s bad,” (y/n)’s heart dropped. “I mean, really, really, bad. I’m sorry, should I have not said that?”

Aditi looked at (y/n) once before groaning and shooed the intern away. Turning to her friend, she put her arms on the girl’s shoulders before shaking her once.

“Don’t let it bother you, (y/n). Ignore it—”

“I want to see.” (y/n)’s tone was even.

Sighing, Aditi opened her phoned and pressed on the live YouTube channel that the aired Jenny’s 9 o’ clock program.

“Our favourite critic is on the news again! To think that she’d just stay out of the radar and maybe get a job? This time, she was found doing something the fans of Tom Holland will definitely not like.”

“She’s getting crueler by the day, what a bitch,” Aditi said, frowning.

A second later, the picture that appeared on screen made (y/n) want to throw up. There she was, sitting across Tom Holland, at the coffee shop the other day, when he had called her out to apologize. (y/n) was smiling, but Tom’s face was covered, so no expression could be seen from his end. No, she thought before gasping out loud.

“Oh my God, it was one of those girls,” (y/n) said, tearing up, her hands quickly covering her mouth in shock.

Aditi blinked, “When was this? What the hell?”

“Here’s a picture of her with our friendly spider, Tom Holland himself! It appears that she’s baited him to meet with her. So perhaps all of the review writing and bad mouthing from her end was a cry for attention? Hmm. Wouldn’t be too shocked on that now, would we?”

“What’s her problem? Jesus, (y/n), what’s happened to journalism these days?” Aditi turned to her friend and froze.

(y/n) had tears streaming down her face, an expression she could no longer hide. Tears had poured from her eyes without any change in her facial expression. It’s pure pain and pure surrender when your soul cries without any fight from your body.

Aditi rushed to her friend and held her, earning no struggle from her. (y/n) breathed once and the dam was broken; she held onto her friend, and cried. There were not many people left at the office at 9 p.m., but the ones who were, merely watched. Aditi held her friend, but said nothing, did nothing. She could not catch up with her, she could not reach her. Aditi felt at that second, that the land of tears was a truly mysterious place. It was at the same time bringing such solace to her friend, by breaking her apart limb from limb.

(y/n) wanted to walk home that night. As much as her friend begged her to drive her home, (y/n) refused. Bruce had permanently blamed himself for his senior to break down crying at the office. He wondered why this was happening, considering how well he thought he knew her. She was simply doing her job, and despite understanding all this, he couldn’t understand her strength. Aditi sighed before heading home herself, not knowing what she could do more.

“I’ll take care, I promise,” Aditi spoke to her mother on the phone, before ending the call.

She browsed through the contacts on her phone before pressing (y/n)’s name. She should have reached home by now, she thought before clearing her throat once.

“How’re you holdin’ up?” Aditi asked, blinking a couple of times.

She heard shuffling on the other end, and prayed that (y/n) was not crying alone.

“(y/n),” Aditi’s voice alerted her friend.

“I’m fine, really. I had a meltdown, but I’m okay now. I’m grabbing some Indian food to eat right now,” (y/n) chuckled a bit, waiting for her friend to reply.

“What’re you eating?” Aditi asked, unlocking the door to her home.

“Chicken biryani,” (y/n) said, sounding a tad bit too proud.

Aditi scoffed. “No one here gets the flavours right,” When she heard (y/n) chuckle on the other end, her heart grew lighter. “Listen, if you wanna talk, just give me a call, yeah?”

“Yes, mom, I will,” (y/n) said, laughing out loud once. “Aditi, thank you. Really.”

Smiling, she ended the call and headed over to her bathroom to take a dump. On most days, she didn’t miss her home. She always thought she wasn’t meant to live in India, a country so crowded. However, India always had a sense of home, and considering how English wasn’t her first language, on most days (at least with new people), Aditi always felt insecure about her accent. The media portrayed it terribly, and Indian accents don’t normally sound the way they do on television.

A lack of representation angered her, but (y/n) was one of the first ones to understand. She loved the girl’s enthusiasm to learn, and how open and welcoming she was.

Seeing her hurt pained Aditi, but there was very little she could do. Sitting on the commode, Aditi browsed Instagram, a hand on her palm, as it rested on her knee. Letting out a sigh, she clicked on one story and kept watching and watching and watching. A girl she knew back home was taking her dog out for a walk—swipe—a boy was celebrating his birthday—swipe—Jenna Fischer is baking bread—swipe—a random rant about how the world is rotting—swipe—Tom Holland talking about someone named (y/n)—swipe—pause.

Aditi froze for a full second.

She then reopened the story and watched. Her eyes were saucers now, and her heart was rummaging against her chest. Oh my god, she mouthed but no voice came out of her. A second later, she screamed.

Dialling her friend’s number, she waited eagerly for (y/n) to pick up.

“What happened?” (y/n)’s voice sounded unaware.

“OH MY GOD, (Y/N), IT’S HAPPENED OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE TO—”

“Where are you? And why is it echoing on the other side?”

“Darling, I’m in the bathroom taking a dump—”

“I really didn’t have to know that, Aditi.” (y/n) cringed.

“NO! SEE. OH MY GOD, DON’T MAKE ME FORGET WHY I CALLED YOU!” Aditi screamed, and the slight echo hurt (y/n)’s ear.

“What’s happened?”

“Check Tom Holland’s story on Instagram. NOW. You will not regret it. Oh my god. Do it—”

“I don’t want anything to do with Tom Holland—”

“DO IT NOW, FUCKING DAMMIT PLEASE.”

The call ended with that. (y/n) stared at her phone, frowning. She wouldn’t ask me to check it if it was something bad, (y/n) thought. But what could it be? It must be a new promotional thing for a new Spiderman movie or something, she thought before sighing. She clicked on Tom’s story and her heart was thrown aside for a toss.

As she watched the story, (y/n) felt time slow. Her eyes widened, just a little bit; her ears reddened, just a little bit; and her mouth fell ajar, just a little bit.

“Hi, guys! I just wanted to bring to light something and this pains me to say and I actually can’t believe I’m having to say something so obvious. (y/n) (l/n) never really wrote anything bad about me on her review. It’s her job, and she’s doing it right. It was my fault that I didn’t read the review and spoke against her beforehand. And I love my fans, I really do. But some of you disappointed me in sending her terrible mails and calling her terrible things. I met her the other day, to apologize for what happened, because she really doesn’t deserve the hate for doing her job, you know? And now there’s a fake story on how she’s trying to get my attention? No. That’s not what happened, yeah? I just wanted to make it clear that (y/n)’s a lovely human being, kind and hardworking, and it would be very nice if all of you can see that. Goodnight, guys.”

(y/n) never imagined that she’d cry for two different reasons on the same day. One of out bitterness and sorrow, and the other being relief. And both, having been caused by a certain actor who played Spiderman.

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfiction #tom hollander #tom holland imagine #tom x reader

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