#If he ever can’t stretch all the way tho. We’ll HAVE to build him another one. I want that man cozy damn it

[lionblaze03-2]

Happy four year adoptiversary to my handsome little boy Montgomery Montgomery Python!!!

Got him august 11th 2019 in lieu of my 16th birthday three days later. I’m turning 20 now. I cannot BELIEVE I’ve had this stupid little rascal for four entire years it does NOT feel like it. Hobbies include hiding in my computer, staring at nothing, and trying to escape his glass prison in the dark. I love him

[seita]

— haikyuu squirting.

includes: kuroo, kenma, yaku, bokuto, akaashi, + konoha.

p a r t   t h r e e ;;

⤸ last: two ⤿ next: four (coming soon!)

-ˋˏ nekoma ˎˊ-

— tetsurou kuroo.

≻ making you squirt is one of his all time favorite things tbh.

≻ he makes you squirt every chance he gets

≻ he loves how hard you cum, the way you tremble and the way your eyes roll back in your head

≻ it fills him with a sense of power and euphoria

≻ he’s simply a man who lives for your pleasure

+

he can’t fight the grin on his face as he watches the way your head falls forward, burying your face in your pillow. you can’t hold yourself up on your hands properly.

he doesn’t mind, he prefers this position more anyway. he grips your hips, angling them a bit to make it easier for him to his that sweet spot deep inside you.

“t-tetsu!” you sob, muffled by the pillow you’re crying into.

“what is it, baby? my cock too much for you?” he coos, “you gonna cum for me?”

you nod, lifting your head up to gasp when he reaches beneath you to circle your sensitive little clit. the bud had been completely neglected and feeling his rough fingers circling had you squealing, “please, i’m so close!!”

“oh yeah?” he grunts, “you gonna make a mess for me like i want, baby?”

you nod, your nails digging into the pillow case until the fabric creaks in protests. your mouth falls open but no sound breaks free as you dangle so precariously over that intense edge, ready to fall.

it builds and builds until you’re trembling and waiting for the coil to snap.

when it did, you choked on a sob and fell forward, only being supported by your boyfriends grip. he grunts as you gush around his cock and hand, soaking your thighs, his fingers, and the bed beneath you.

laughing, he pats your clit, forcing a few more squirts of your cum out before he backs off and lets you breathe, “that’s a good girl. givin’ me just what i want.”

— kenma kozume.

≻ honestly makes you squirt by accident 99% of the time

≻ it’s not that he doesn’t like when you do it

≻ he just doesn’t really like the mess

≻ but if you do squirt

≻ it’s fine

≻ no big deal

≻ he just carries on as usual. he’ll deal with the mess later

≻ all he cares about rn is making you cum again and again

+

“k-ken wait!” you suddenly cry out, making him frown.

he slows his movements, still holding onto your hips, “what?”

“i-i’m gonna make a mess...” you bashfully admit, covering your face with your hands.

he rolls his eyes, resuming his harsh thrusts. you squeal, grabbing onto the blankets beneath you, “k-ken! i-if you don’t s-stop i’ll--”

“squirt?” he scoffs, eyes locked onto your cunt, watching the way you cream around him -- coating him in milky white every time he pulls out. you’re close. he can tell. you’re spasming deliciously around him, “go ahead then.”

you shake your head, “b-but the mess!”

“we’ll clean it up later, just cum,” he snaps, bringing his hand between your legs to work your clit, “stop holding back.”

“k-ken!” you cry, wrapping your hand around his wrist.

you stare at him with wide eyes, your mouth falling open as you dangle enticingly over the edge. it’s so close. your whole body is tense. it’s building...and building...and building.

until you finally explode with a breathless cry of his name.

you gush at first, your cum dripping down his balls before your squirt, drenching his cock and abdomen as he fucks you through your orgasm. your back is arched and you crying out sweet love confessions as you cum nice and hard for him.

— morisuke yaku.

≻ another one who loves to make you squirt

≻ but.......it’s usually a punishment

≻ you look so cute when you get embarrassed

≻ the way you cover your face shyly after he holds up his dripping hand for you to see ≻ makes you watch him lick his fingers clean of your cum

≻ he rlly only does it if you’ve been a brat or done something to tick him off

≻ so if u want to squirt, just send him some nudes while he’s work or smthn

+

“you think you’re cute, don’t you?” he snarls, giving your sensitive cunt a sharp slap, making you cry out in shock. it leaves a buzzing sensation in your clit that ran all the way down to your toes, “sending me pictures of your slutty little cunt while i’m in a meeting?”

“i-i’m sorry!” you gasp, eyes rolling back when he stuffs three fingers unforgivably into your pussy, giving you a sudden, burning stretch that had you panting, “i-i just needed you so...bad!”

he scoffs, angling his fingers upwards, pummeling that tender little spot in your upper wall, “oh yeah? if you’re really sorry then you’ll make a pretty mess all over my hand. then maybe i’ll forgive you and you can have my cock.”

you nod, squealing when he uses his other hand to thumb at your swollen clit, making your thighs tremble, “fuck! mori! ‘m gonna cum!”

he doesn’t say anything, just grins. his eyes are fixzated on your cunt, watching the way your hole swallows his fingers desperately. it’s almost as good a sight as watching you stretch to take his cock.

the thought of you being stuffed full of his cock has him throbbing in his shorts, “cum. right now. make a mess all over me or you get nothing.”

the threat is enough to send you over the edge, mouth falling open as you cry out his name. he groans through your orgasm, watching the way your juices splatter all the way up his forearm.

“messy girl!” he laughs, pulling his fingers out. he continues to play with your clit, encouraging a few more gushes of cum from your spasming little cunt, “i guess you deserve a reward for that, huh?”

-ˋˏ fukurodani ˎˊ-

— koutarou bokuto.

≻ makes you squirt constantly

≻ but not by choice

≻ he loves it but

≻ tbh he doesn’t actually know how he does it

≻ he just fucks you or fingers you and...you end up gushing around his fingers

≻ who is he to ruin what is such a great thing

+

you love sitting in his lap. he feels so big and strong when he holds you, keeping your legs spread so he can fuck two fingers into your cunt. your head is resting back on his shoulder as he whispers filth in your ear.

he tells you how you’re such a good girl, that you’re so tight around his fingers, you’re absolutely dripping. you’re his filthy baby and he loves you so much. he adores to make you feel good, how he wants you to cum.

your eyes roll back and cling to his arm, your legs trembling endlessly as you keep them completely spread for him.

“kou,” you pant, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth as you call out to him.

“i know, puppy,” he whispers, kissing your temple, “i can feel you squeezing. you’re creaming all over my fingers, see?”

you look down and feel your cheeks burn at the mess you’re making on his hand. his cock is impossibly hard and pressing into your back.

“want you to cum for me, puppy,” he coos, hooking his chin over your shoulder to watch your cunt swallow his digits, “go on, give it to me, please?”

who are you to deny him? especially when he angles his fingertips expertly as he grinds his palm against your hard clit.

you spasm in his lap, crying out as you sob and gush all over his hand. he grins, fucking his fingers into you as fast as he can, deft flicks of his wrist that only serve to make you squirt even more until you’re positive there is a puddle on the floor beneath you.

you’re panting and twitching in aftershocks as he pulls out, popping his fingers in his mouth with a groan. your cum is sweet and savory on his tongue as he swallows it down.

he doesn’t know how he does it but he loves when you squirt like that for him.

— keiji akaashi.

≻ only makes you squirt by request

≻ he LOVES when you do

≻ but he never wants to make you squirt if you don’t outright want to

≻ he’s a gentleman after all

≻ sometimes he’ll ask you if it’s okay

≻ other time he waits for you to beg him, in that cute breathy voice if he can make you make a mess

≻ and what’s he gonna do? say no???

≻ as if.

+

you were so sweet, so pretty as you bashfully asking him if he can make you cum extra hard today. he knew what you meant, having learned your little looks and vague requests.

still, he asks, just to watch you squeak in embarrassment and hide your face in his chest if “you want me to make you squirt?”

but you nod, and he feels his cock get hard immediately.

having you on your back, your knees pressed against your cheek as he slowly rocks his cock into your tight little hole is how he loves you. you become a babbling, drooling mess for him so quickly all while gushing and creaming on his cock.

you drip down his balls, already such making a such a mess despite the fact he hasn’t even made you cum yet.

“what’s got you so worked up today?” he inquires, thumbing your clit, making you arch and gasp desperately, “you’re so wet. i’ve barely even done anything.”

you whimper, “i-i’ve been thinking about you all day.”

your confession comes easily and it makes his heart flutter. he smiles, pressing his lips against your calf, “yeah? my sweet girl.”

you keen, biting back a smile that promptly vanishes when he hits your sweet spot. you arch, trembling beneath him.

“y-you’re gonna make me cum!” you announce, “please keiji.”

he nods, finally speeding up his thrusts. he continues to thumb your swollen little bud, watching your cunt eagerly swallow him balls deep as you spasm and clench desperately around him. he works you to your high, teeth clenched.

when you finally fall over the edge, you squirt, forcing his cock from your hole. he rubs your clit with four fingers, forcing out every drop of cum your eager little cunt has to offer him until you reach down and stop him, muttering soft thanks and ‘i love you’s.

— akinori konoha.

≻ another one who loves to make you squirt

≻ some days he can do it some days he can’t

≻ it doesn’t matter if you don’t squirt tho, bc you still cum no worries

≻ he just loves the mess of when you do gush for him

≻ the way your moans change ever so slightly, getting embarrassed as you announce that you’re gonna make a mess for him

≻ truly, he could cum from that alone

+

“work your hips, just like that,” he orders, gripping your hips as he forces you to grind on him exactly how he wants.

you let him, knowing there’s no reason for you to fight him. he’s the one who can make you cum, he knows your body better than you. and you’re proven right when you feel him nail your sweet spot, making your whole body twitch at the stimulation.

you’re not bouncing, it’s a slow grind that stirs his cock against your tender walls. this isn’t about him, he’s working to get you off.

the squeezing of your cunt is enough to stimulate him but not nearly enough to make him cum. perfect.

especially for what he has in mind.

you’ve already caught onto his plan so you let him control your movements. your nails pinch into his bare chest but he doesn’t mind. you’re dripping down his balls, making a mess but he wants an even bigger one.

“c’mon, pretty girl,” he grunts, the way you clench around him at the pet name making his cock throb, “cum for me. i know you want to. go ahead and squirt for me.”

“m-my clit, please, aki,” you beg pathetically.

he grins and finds the hard, neglected little bud with his thumb. a few quick clicks to the button sends you flying over the edge. you push yourself onto your knees, his cock popping free as he continues to thumb your clit, watching as you squirt all over his cock.

he smiles, “i love when you do that.“

he pulls you into his arms and presses his lips against yours, reaching down to stuff his cock back into your oversensitive cunt.

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

[bay-did-nothing-wrong]

Tell All (Donatello x Reader)

Synopsis: Don and the Reader had been hiding their relationship from his family but they decide its finally time to come clean.

Genre: Fluff mostly, some crack, literally one sex pun

Word count: 1946

Soft.

So soft.

Wasn't his skin supposed to be rougher all together? How were his lips so soft and smooth then? Just another mystery.

Your mouths split with a tiny wet sound, but neither of you was in a rush to go anywhere.

But you should have been.

"Dinner's ready!" came Mikey's energetic shout from somewhere withing the lair. Probably the kitchen.

A soft longing sigh left your lips, and you felt a warm current of air hit your face - Don felt the same.

"We should go." you state, convincing yourself as much as him.

"Do we have to?" he whined breathlessly.

Yes, yes, you did. And he knew that. You both did. Otherwise his brothers and his very observant father will notice you're acting suspicious. They'll probably figure out he wasn't just helping you study for that AP Statistics exam. That is, if they hadn't already.

Your hands slid down his shoulders in an attempt to separate you two but instead they fell onto the top of his plastron, thumbs running softly over the last uncovered skin there, where you knew he was sensitive.

"Hmmm..." it came out as a low growl and it surrounded you on all sides. "You're not helping."

"Am I ever?"

"DONNIE! (Y/N)! DINNER!" at least Mikey stuck to the strict "No entering during study-sessions" rules. That's good to know that he can be intimidated into compliance. Or blackmailed... Point is, it worked.

Donnie's head falls in defeat, forehead leaning on yours for support.

So glad he took those goggles off. You can see more of him this way.

He sighed again, defeated - he was too smart to not figure out that at some point your behavior will raise suspicion. His head lifted back, and turned to the door.

"Coming!"

And your cheeky ass giggled at that.

"Oh, Donnie." you teased, "I haven't even started."

"Pfft. " chuckle, and a snort.

He really did like your dirty puns.

The man took your hand into his cool giant one, somehow providing comfort like no other, as he pulled you to the lab entrance. But once at the door you had to split. It's part of the arrangement.

His family shouldn't know about you.

You two decided at the early stage of your budding romance that keeping the whole thing on the down-low for a while was the smartest choice. It would prevent his brother's jealousy, it won't incite any fights, it won't change their relationship with you and you'll get to feel things out at your own pace - no pressure or prying eyes.

Just you.

But there was a list of downsides too. For one, neither of you was a great actor, Don was even shit at lying, so you'd had to take extra steps to remain as friendly-looking as possible. Then there was the trying-to-set-you-up-with-Vern thing that April was doing and every time the topic came up you could act regular-disgusted but not in-a-happy-relationship disgusted, and so would your favourite turtle. And then there was the hiding, coveting each other in the lab or in small stolen moments in the lair, and the lying about going topside to do recon or install something somewhere, the covering up - no, of course Donnie wasn't with you at your place, he must have gone somewhere else.

You were quite honestly sick of it. You were ready to tell his brothers. You were ready to tell the world.

"We should tell them." his voice was once again low, quiet as if to preserve the last few moments of the secret to yourselves.

Once again you were entirely in sync despite being vastly different.

He was a genius, you, decidedly, weren't.

He was really into sports, you weren't.

He was a 6'8 ninja turtle raised underground by a rat dad, and you obviously were not.

And yet somehow, you clicked.

"I agree."

At that point you knew that your approval would kick into gear the most destructive process in Donnie's mind - overthinking.

Your hand immediately darted out and grabbed one of his pulling it up to your lips and kissing the knuckles in reassurance.

"We'll figure it out."

But still, you had to split. Even if you did plan to tell them, there would be a time and a place for that.

"What took you so long? The lasagna got cold." Mikey was positively outraged - as much as he could be - by your lack of interest in his usually excellent cooking.

"Sorry, Mikey." you butted in, trying to save the day, "There's just something about Inferential Statistical Analysis that I can't wrap my head around." Bullshit, you knew exactly what it was and how it worked - it's part of the basics but he didn't need to know that.

"Still smells great though!" Don sounds cheerful enough even though you'd just agreed to break the fragile peace in your relationship just a minute prior. He was getting really good at the lying part. Too bad it won't be needed for much longer.

Dinner was as uneventful as it can be around five mutant ninjas. Master Splinter asked about your day, you told him about the nearing finals season and he offered some comforting words after which the conversation bounced around the rest of the family in a natural progression.

Once you were full, and once all of Mikey's delicious food had been virtually inhaled by the four giant men around you, you got up to get the dishes to the kitchen and help clean up. It was only fair, after all.

Apparently it was Ralph's turn to wash dishes and there was no wiggling out of that because Splinter said so. Well, at least you can dry them.

And dry them you did, meanwhile casual conversation about whatever kept flowing and you figured you won't be able to go back to the lab and do some more 'Statistics'.

You were just drying and putting away the last plate when a thiqq arm stretched over your head to reach a cupboard you couldn't even get to in your dreams.

Your head whipped back, eyes landing straight on some hard looking chest plates under a pair of suspenders. And then you looked up and saw Donatello, the cheeky shit, with a pop tart in his mouth and a shit-eating grin around it.

"Oops, sorry, (Y/N), didn't see you there."

Oh, I'll give you Oops, didn't see me, my ass. You'll see.

He was being unusually open about his closeness to you and that was less then an hour after you'd decided to come clean.

He was ready then.

"I was planning on checking out the meatpacking District tomorrow." Leo was going on about that idea he had to check out some building or another, Mikey was wiping down the table, and Raph was finishing up the dishes, and for once Don was just there chilling.

His treat was gone, meaning he ate it all, he seemed relaxed, his shoulders loose and shell leaning on the wall.

No time like the present.

"You guys, I'm gonna head out. I've got work tomorrow and after that I've got a study group to attend so, I should head to bed."

"You need us to walk you home?" Leo asked more out of courtesy, he knew you lived close and would usually decline.

"No, no, that's okay." you replied, looking for your bag and jacket where you'd left them near the kitchen table.

"Aaaw, you're leaving already? Well, at least you ate." Mikey quickly swept you into a hug goodbye and turned back to sorting his ingredients in the cupboards.

"Thanks to you, Mikey Steward." to which he giggled in response.

"See you tomorrow, shorty." Raph waved as he turned to get a beer from the fridge.

"Stay safe out there, okay?" Leo always the guardian, warned you for the hundredth time, again just out of courtesy.

And then you walked to where Don was leaning on the wall, took his chin in your hand and pulled him down.

Oh, shit, am I actually gonna do this!?

Your lips met, your heart pounded, the room became super hot and that wasn't just because of the brilliant piece of man-candy in your hands. You could feel their eyes but then again that was the whole point.

A loud dramatic intake of air was heard, a drop of something metallic and then silence.

Your face pulled away from him, eyes opening slightly to look at him, as your weight fell back onto your heels from standing on your tiptoes. His face had that same dazed, satisfied-yet-hungry look that he usually had whenever you'd had to break apart.

He tasted so sweet, you just had to lick your lips at the memory.

"I'll see you tomorrow." you whispered, that was all you could force out in that moment.

"See you tomorrow." his voice was as soft as yours even though his brothers could probably hear.

You fully pulled away from your man, now certain that there'd be no secrets between you and the ninja clan.

You were not an actor, you quickly got embarrassed with your performance, however brilliant it may have been, and speedily scammed to pick up your belongings and jogged outta there.

You turned one last time, because something in you said you should and what you saw was truly a sight.

All three of Don's bothers with their mouths hanging open and Splinter peeking out of the door to the dojo with his eyes like saucers and then there's Donnie - the image of peace, hands in his pockets, a soft smile on his lips, now shiny from your lip gloss, and looking you straight in the eye as you retreated.

"Bye." you shout to no one in particular and scramble for the exit.

-_-_-_-_-

Phone - charging

Alarm - set

Pajamas - on

What's missing then?

Ding!

Your phone notified you that someone was requesting your attention and you were more than happy to find out it was your man.

'Hey, Laika' Oh lord it so got you giggling like a schoolgirl when he called you that.

'Hey, Tyson' and then he told you that he loved to be compared with the biggest name in astrophysics today.

'How did it go?' you felt super bad for bailing on him but at the same time there was this relief that came with the cat being out of the bag.

'Surprisingly well. No one was mad that we kept it a secret.' well, that's good. You won't have to jeopardize your relationship with the boys. 'Dad still wants to talk to you tho'

Ah, well, that's to be expected. Even though Donnie is an adult, the were still a very tightly knit family unit so, you supposed that something like that would be a pretty big deal.

'That's fine, I'd do whatever'

'I wish I could kiss you rn'

It honestly shocked you how chill about it he was. Probably because he wasn't being grilled for information anymore, neither of you would have to lie anymore, and because he could now tell Vern to fuck right off, with no worry about how it would look.

You were so looking forward to being solely and entirely his.

'Tomorrow we start anew'

He had a point, things would change. But hopefully not between you.

'Can't wait to meet you for the first time again lol' you didn't know if you were being funny or just cheesy but it felt right.

Despite your smile, your eyes started drooping, your breaths slowing and you felt the exhaustion of the day slowly hug you like a blanket.

'Goodnight'

'Goodnight, (Y/N)'

[ericspinkhair]

unexpectedly becoming a sugar baby

pairing: ceo!sunwoo x fem!reader

word count: 3.4k

synopsis: reader is desperate for money so she has sex with her boss

warnings: lots of oral and fingering, use of vibrator in public , office sex, sex for money

a/n: wrote this yesterday instead of studying for my final. the exam went well tho :) also please send in requests!!!

masterlist + requests

to say you were desperate would be an understatement. today you had received an eviction notice that stated that you had exactly 30 days to either pay back all the money you owed your landlord or leave your apartment.

due to your mother's illness you had to pay for all her medical bills. your father hadn't been in the picture for a long time so you alone were responsible for your mother's health. you couldn't just let her die. but because of all these costs you hadn't been able to pay your rent and now you were on the verge of homelessness.

never in a lifetime did you imagine that you would be begging someone for help. you felt so helpless that you honestly didn't really care how you got the money.

you decided to ask your boss for a raise and were prepared to work your ass off in order to get it.

mr. kim's office was on the fourth floor of the company, one you barely had ever been to. normal employees were usually only to be found on the lower floors so taking the elevator up felt wrong.

you were determined, however, to not let your pride get in the way. the money was more important than how you felt.

you knocked on the door twice. as if to make you feel even more nervous, it seemed like mr. kim waited extra long to respond.

when you entered he was sitting behind his desk. he didn't even look up at you so you just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do.

'why don't you just sit?' he finally asked annoyed and closed his laptop.

you quickly took a seat and tried to put up a professional front.

'what can I do for you, um…' 'y/n,' you helped him out. 'right, y/n. what can I do for you?' he asked.

'I would like to ask for a raise, sir. you see, I am usually the first employee to enter the building and also most of the time the last one to leave. I do my work reliably and deliver solid results. my coworkers are pleased with me and we also get along well. I think I contribute a lot to this company and wanted to ask whether it would be possible to raise my pay.' you really tried to not make it seem like you had simply memorized all of this and forced yourself to speak slowly but firmly while looking him in the eyes.

mr. kim didn't respond at first but opened his laptop.

'to my understanding you have been working here for a very long time already. your pay is already the highest it can get. there is no way for me to raise it because there is no room for improvement.' he sighed and waited for your reaction.

you started sweating. this wasn't going as planned. you hadn't known that you were already receiving the highest pay. you were barely able to afford food with your current money.

'please, sir. I will do anything you ask of me. I don't care how many extra hours I'd have to work. I can do it. I promise. please give me a chance,' you begged him.

he was intrigued by you. why were you so desperate for the money?

'first, why don't you tell me why you are so keen on a raise?'

was your boss even allowed to ask you such personal questions? you answered anyway.

'my mother has cancer. I am the only person paying for her medical expenses and the treatments are all very expensive. I am about to get evicted because I cannot pay my rent.'

he seemed to be deep in thought. his gaze on you was intense.

your heart skipped a beat when he placed his hand on yours.

'y/n, I'm extremely sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience the same thing. believe me when I tell you that I want to help you. you know what? come back tomorrow. I have an idea how I might be able to help but I need to think about it further. would that be alright for you?'

it felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders. you didn't care about what you had to do. you stood up, bowed deeply and thanked him over and over.

he let out a deep chuckle. you were cute.

the next day you came back again in the afternoon. this time he answered the door quicker and his attention was focused on you from the start. the energy felt much different than the day before. he seemed excited and was smiling at you. this had to mean good news, right? he shook your hand and pressed firmly while looking you deep in the eyes.

'y/n, I came up with an idea to help you. but it is less conventional and it depends on how much you are willing to do.'

'mr. kim, I will do anything,' you assured him. the smirk he flashed you threw you off guard.

'okay then. first, I'd prefer it if you called me sunwoo as we'll be seeing more of each other if you were to agree.'

this lowkey felt like crossing some boundaries but you wanted to please him.

you nodded eagerly. 'okay, sunwoo it is.'

'so my idea is that there are certain things you can do to earn money. I will pay for everything with my own savings and you will receive it in cash. we will start off easy and over time I'll add new tasks. of course, you have the freedom to choose whether you want to do them or not. that is completely up to you.'

the look of confusion on your face must have told him you didn't fully understand.

'it's hard to explain. I'd rather you figure it out by trying it. since today is friday, the task I'll give you is for monday. I would like to choose an outfit for you. I'll send it to your apartment and you have to wear exactly what is inside the box. if you were to do this I'd give you $20 cash.'

that was a weird request. why would he want to decide what you were wearing? did he not like your outfit? did you look disgusting?

'let me get this straight. you pick an outfit for me and if I decide to wear it I get money?' you ask him to see if you had understood correctly.

'exactly. that doesn't seem so bad, right?' you shook your head. it was whatever.

'that's great. you'll receive your outfit and I can't wait to see you in it on monday.' you didn't know if you were imagining it but it seemed like he was eyeing your body. h god, he definitely didn't like what you were wearing.

$20 wasn't much but still more than nothing. and apparently the other tasks would be worth more. guess you had to start somewhere. with the money you could at least afford something to eat.

you say goodbye and continued with work until it was time to leave.

you waited anxiously all weekend for the clothes. sunday you decided to go for a walk and when you opened your door you almost tripped over a package.

on monday morning you tried on the outfit sunwoo had picked out for you.

the white blouse was a bit see through and a bit too tight around the boob area but looked neat otherwise. the black skirt hugged your curves perfectly and made you look quite sexy in your opinion. he even picked out a bra, underwear, stockings and high heels for you. the note he had left clearly stated to wear exactly and only what was in the box. so you did.

you usually wore something more simple and loose but you didn't feel too uncomfortable in this look.

when you entered his office his eyes lit up.

'I'm glad you wore this. it looks very good on you.'

you were sure you blushed a bit at his words. you weren't really used to receiving compliments from men.

'I like it too,' you admit. sunwoo smiled contentedly.

'so would you like to do the same tomorrow? I'll send you another outfit,' he asked you.

this one wasn't bad at all so you agreed. he handed you $20. when you stood up and walked out the door he couldn't stop admiring the way your butt looked in the skirt. tomorrow was going to be even better.

the blouse was almost the same one. however, this time the skirt was a lot shorter. it ended at the middle of your thighs. but that wasn't even the weirdest thing. this time he had forgotten to send you panties.

you felt very unsure what to do. the note clearly stated to only wear what was in the box.

you sighed and pulled down the skirt as much as you could. this would have to do. as long as you were just sitting, everything would be fine.

you went about your day and some time in the afternoon you were called into sunwoo's office.

you were wondering whether or not to tell him about the missing underwear but decided to keep your mouth closed. panties didn't seem to be a topic to talk about with your boss.

'today, I want to offer you an additional task. you will receive your $20 dollars for sure and you can make another 30 by cleaning my office. what do you think?' he proposed to you.

that would be $50 in total. you needed all the money you could get.

'of course. just tell me what to clean and I will be happy to help.'

everything was going according to sunwoo's plan. he was excited and told you you could start by dusting the shelves.

your eagerness was cute and he watched you out of the corner of his eyes.

some of the shelves were higher up so you had to stretch to be able to reach them. when you did your skirt rolled up higher and he was able to see the just the outline of your butt cheeks. he unconsciously licked his lips.

for the rest of the week you continued these two tasks. but you noticed that the underwear kept on missing and the skirts also progressively became shorter.

this was a struggle when you were cleaning and organizing his office. you were aware of your skirt rolling up and you were hoping that sunwoo wouldn't notice.

of course he did. that had been his intention all along. when you bent down he could sometimes get a glance at your pretty pussy. he couldn't help but get hard at the sight of this and palmed his bulge through his pants.

in one week you had received $220. you would have been more happy if you hadn't gotten another bill from the hospital asking you for another $1200. the health care system was simply fucked up. whatever the next tasks were, you had to do them.

on monday you were cleaning his office again. you wanted to pick up some files but you struggled reaching them from the highest shelf. you felt your skirt roll up again.

'wait. I'll help you,' sunwoo announced and walked over.

you gasped as you felt something hard poke your thigh as he stood behind you to reach for the files. when he took a step back you saw the clear outlines of his hardened cock.

unable to hide your surprise, sunwoo laughed.

'this is all your doing.' so he did notice your skirt roll up. wait. had he given you these clothes with this in mind?

'do you want to touch it?' he asked.

you just blinked at him. what? were you perhaps still dreaming? it was possible that you were having a wet dream about your boss. sunwoo was very handsome and you had to be blind not to notice.

'if you help me get rid of it, I'll promise you $100.' he knew you were thinking hard. you couldn't keep your eyes off his bulge, clearly not sure what to think of this.

this was against all the work protocols but you would kid yourself if you said that you didn't want to. not only was he very attractive but you'd do a lot for a mere $100.

you reached for his belt. sunwoo smirked; he had won.

you pulled his pants down and were immediately greeted with his veiny cock.

'you aren't the only one not wearing any underwear, my dear y/n.'

so that had been intentional. interesting. you realized you must have been very naive to have believed that he had simply forgotten to put panties in the boxes.

you started by rubbing the tip softly with your thumb. it was pretty and pink and already leakined pre-cum.

you felt strangely good about having this kind of effect on someone. with a few pumps his dick was completely hard.

sunwoo propped his hands on the desk behind him and leaned back in bliss.

deep moans were escaping his beautifully luscious lips while you were pleasuring him with your hands.

you decided to put your left hand you use as well by massaging his balls.

'fuck! when did you learn to do this so well?' sunwoo groaned.

during high school you had had a lot of sex. it made you feel good and you enjoyed it. now your experience turned out to be lifesaving to you. well, he'd probably pay you even if you weren't as mind blowing.

'hmm, practice,' you simply state.

'if this is already so good I wonder what your mouth can do, baby girl.' being called that aroused you way more than expected. this was so exciting.

'I'll give you another $100 if you suck me off.'

before sunwoo knew it you had already wrapped your lips around his cock. you skillfully bobbed your head up and down. when you looked up at him with big eyes he swore he was about to explode.

with most of the dick in your mouth your other hand was continuing to knead his balls.

he was coming close quickly and grabbed your hair so you would stay still.

he proceeded to fuck your mouth harshly. you felt spit running down the sides of your lips and tears escaping your eyes as he buried his cock deep in your mouth. you tried to relax in order to deep-throat him properly.

he came hard and emptied his load in your mouth. to prove a point, you swallowed it and then opened up to show him.

panting hard he said: 'fuck you're just amazing!'

you looked absolutely delicious with your face full of cum. he had a good feeling you were the right person to do this with.

you licked off some of the white liquid from your lips and smirked at him.

this was definitely not what you had expected what you would be doing but you weren't one to complain.

sunwoo quickly disappeared to search for some paper towels to clean your face. his employees couldn't see you like this.

after your face was clean again he handed you $250. 'you deserve it.' 'thanks.'

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and leaned closer. 'maybe we can do more tomorrow.' ooh, sounds exciting.

'then I'll look forward to seeing you.' with a wink you left.

you wondered how much money you would get for some sexy time with your boss.

the next morning, you couldn't fully button up the blouse he had sent you. the top buttons had to be left open and a lot of cleavage was visible. this horndog!

this time you actually received some underwear but only for a special reason. you found a pink mini vibrator in the box as well.

so you were walking around with a vibrating stick up your pussy. you didn't want to come in front of your co-workers so you turned it off whenever you got too close and waited to calm down.

'did you have fun today?' was the first thing sunwoo said to you.

you laughed ironically. 'I had so much fun pretending I wasn't being masturbating in front of everyone…'

he made you turn around and lifted up your skirt. the outline of the vibrator was visible and he could see your panties shaking.

with one quick move he pulled your underwear down and took the vibrator to turn it off. it came out with a wet plop and juices were running down your thighs.

sunwoo surprised you by sucking on the wet vibrator.

'sit on the desk,' he commanded you.

you did as you were told and sunwoo spread your legs wide apart.

he inserted his index and middle finger which slipped in with ease. your pussy made wet noises as he pushed them in and out of you.

finally having privacy you allowed yourself to make sounds. he made intense eye contact while fingering you, loving the way your face was scrunched up in pleasure.

you wrapped your arms around his neck and started kissing him. his tongue easily won the fight over dominance and started exploring your mouth.

you two were basically just sucking each others faces off until he broke off the kiss and lowered his body. he attached his mouth to your clit and started sucking. you pulled at his hair in pleasure and had a hard time controlling your breathing. damn, he was skilled at this as well.

when he felt you clenching around his fingers he withdrew them and you let out a disappointed noise of protest.

'don't worry. you'll have more soon.', he laughed at you. he quickly took off his pants and pulled you off the desk. he turned you around so your ass was facing him.

he started rubbing his thick cock between your ass cheeks and coated it in your juices. every time he got into contact with your tense pussy a shudder overcame your body.

he lifted your leg and placed your foot on the table. the angle from when he thrusted into you from behind was just perfect.

sunwoo attached his lips onto your neck and started leaving hickeys there. at the same time he was kneading your breast through your shirt.

he had barely ever felt such a perfect pussy around his cock. the way you took him in seemed too good to be true.

while his dick was still inside you, he lifted you up and placed you on all fours on the floor.

he grabbed your hips so tightly that he left red marks on them. at this point, he was just uncontrollably slamming into you while you were losing your mind. you were screaming his name loudly, glad that you knew no one could hear you.

as you could feel both of you getting close, he pulled your upper body up to his chest and wrapped one hand around your neck.

the pressure he applied was just enough for you to see stars but not enough for it to be unpleasant.

the lack of oxygen stimulated your senses even more and while repeatedly screaming out sunwoo's name you finally came hard on his dick.

with a few more thrusts, sunwoo's hips started stuttering as well and he shot his load into you. while riding out your highs he was just fucking his cum right back into you.

when he finally pulled out, a pool of his semen started dripping out of you. you suddenly felt so empty. his thick cock had filled you up so good that you were already missing it.

while you were still catching your breath on the floor, sunwoo had gone to get paper towels.

when he came back, however, he seemed hectic.

'I'm so sorry. there has been an emergency and I need to leave right now. I'll leave these here as well as the money.' he placed everything on the desk and walked back to the door.

he turned around one last time. 'I hope we can do this again.' he smiled at you.

you later saw that he had left you $750.

kind of becoming a sugar baby had never been your plan but you didn't mind it. if only the circumstances had been better.

[eeunoia]

BTS Imagines

Hiking | Min Yoongi

Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

Summary: Finally, boyfriend yoongi had a day off over the weekend so him and his s/o decided to do some hiking.

Warnings: Not proof read.

“Eh!? Yoongi hyung? In a hiking?” Taehyung starred over y/n’s smiling face with his shock face then took a bite over his banana. He’s currently at the living room of their dorm when Y/n arrived.

She nodded excitedly as she settle her bag pack at their white clean couch.

“How did you manage to make him agree?” Taehyung asked again still can’t believe of what he just heard. They had a very tough week so the company finally gave them their well-deserved day off. He was amused to hear that his hyung-- his lazy hyung, to be more precise, agreed to go hiking with his girl.

Y/n pouted her lips, “I don’t know. I just... asked him.” she said and even shrugged her shoulders off. Her eyes darted the new member who entered the scene.

“Hey Y/n! You’re early today.” Namjoon said as he let out a yawn before sitting beside Taehyung. She gave him a small wave.

“Hyung...” Taehyung said getting the attention of his hyung. Namjoon looked at him wondering what he wants.

“Hmm?” he hummed. Y/n just watched them talk as her eyes darted over the clock at the wall. It’s still early and she did came a bit too early.

Well she can’t help it. She was so excited because she can spend time with her boyfriend after a while of being not seeing each other. She even woke up before her alarm rings.

“Yoongi hyung agreed to go hiking with Y/n noona.” Taehyung told Namjoon like as if it’s a very big news. Namjoon gave the same reaction as Taehyung and they both looked at Y/n at the same time.

“Really? How did you...?” Namjoon didn’t have the time to ask more when a fresh from the shower Min Yoongi suddenly appeared at their sight. He’s already wearing his hiking attire while his hair is still wet.

“Oh, you’re here already...” he said in a monotone like he isn’t really surprised by it. She smiled sweetly admiring her handsome boyfriend.

“Yeah, I’m excited.” she said with her smile. She can feel the two boys watching them but she didn’t mind. They’re used to it and she’s used to them.

Yoongi’s lips lifted up for a smirk as he walked closer to her leaning down for a peck over her pink soft lips. The peck made a soft smooch sound that made the two audience cringed a bit.

“I’ll just get my things and then we can go.” Yoongi said ignoring the small whimpers from his members.

Y/n, on the other hand, was blushing hardly because she was surprised by the sudden affection. Yoongi is always bold with his moves. With them dating for a while now, he can show those kind of affection without minding the people around them.

She gulped trying to calm herself down. She turned over her sides when she heard small giggles from the two. “You’re blushing noona.” Taehyung pointed out that made her shy even more.

She then shoot glares at them but they just laughed it off. She was about to tell something when she heard Yoongi again. He’s now carrying a bag over his back and playing with his car keys.

“Let’s go, love.” he called out. She answered a soft ‘Yes’ before getting her stuff as she send one last glare over the two. She walked towards Yoongi who’s patiently waiting by the hallway of their dorm.

“We’ll be going now.” he said talking to his members.

When she’s already close to him, he quickly get her bag from her and carried it for her. He wasn’t paying much attention to it, it was his natural self that is doing that. He’s always the gentlemen type towards his girlfriend and been like that ever since but it still made her blush like crazy.

“Bye lovebirds! Enjoy.” was the last thing she heard before they went out of their dorm.

Yoongi guided her down the parking lot to go to his car. She cutely follows him and he made the car beeped as they approached it. Yoongi went straight to the back to settle their things down.

“Do you want help?” she asked concerned.

He shook his head no and just told her to go inside the car already. She quickly obliged and even put her seatbelts on. She can’t help but to smile widely because she was so excited. She can go hiking and be with her boyfriend. What a nice way to spend the weekend.

She was still all smile when Yoongi entered the car. He gave her a small smile as she just observe him while he starts the engine. She smiled a little getting contented just by sitting beside him as he manipulates the steering wheel.

“You good there, love?” he asked softly as he drives away out of their building.

She nodded her head keeping her eyes over him. It’s still a bit dark because they decided to hike early in the morning to check the view of sunrise. She was very excited planning it the moment she heard from Yoongi that he have a day off at the weekened.

He played music during the drive and they both naturally to his playlist. Y/n always loved his choice of music. One of the things she loves about him is his passion and love for music. She’s so proud of him.

When they arrived, Yoongi made sure she had stretched well before going hiking. They started the hike, holding hands from time to time as they enjoy the cold breeze and small talks. Y/n was smiling despite the sweat that running down from her back and soaking her shirt.

They were already near the top and they can see the sun rise already. She was yet again hyped up and looked back over her boyfriend who’s drinking water just behind her. She noticed him panting because of the activity. She pouted a bit worried for him. Now, she kind of feels bad that she suggested this when he had a very tough week. He must���ve been so tired.

Yoongi noticed her stares and he quickly pulled a small smile as he slide one of his arm over her waist.

“You’re panting...” she stated. Yoongi chuckled as he dropped a kiss over his now rosy cheeks.

“So are you. Do you want water?” and he even raised the hand that is holding his bottled water. She shook his head.

“You look so tired. I’m sorry I should’ve had suggested a different one.” she said feeling really sorry for him. She faced down fiddling with her fingers.

Yoongi chuckled finding her cute. If he’s being honest, he hates it. His body is hurting and he’s really tired right now. He just wants to lay down to his bed and sleep but he just can’t say no when he already missed a lot of promised dates with her. She’s just too nice and understanding to even not nag about it.

He kissed her forehead once as he hugs her to make her feel better. His girl is just too nice.

“Stop feeling sorry when we’re already just a few steps from the top. You should’ve had said that when we’re still at the starting point.” he said trying to crack a joke at her. He smirked leaning away to check her reaction.

She pouted, still feeling sorry. He chuckled and rolled his tongue over his lips once before he held her hand.

“Come on, you will miss the only thing we came here for.” he said trying his best to sound excited even tho he isn’t.

They both arrived the top and a cool breeze greeted both of them as they watch the sun rise above the beautiful view in front of them. He smiled, feeling relaxed.

He looked over his girl who’s pouting over the view. He laughed finding it cute. He went behind her to give her a hug and one kiss at her cheeks.

“Hey, I expect you to be all jolly about this and you’re pouting? Damn girl, I sacrificed sleep for this and you’ll just pout.”

“I feel sorry because I made you do this.” he sighed turning her to face him before cupping both of her cheeks.

“Look, yeah, I hate to go hiking. I don’t want to be here. I’d rather be in bed with you and have some sleep but I don’t regret going here as well. I agreed going here because I want to spend some time with my girlfriend and to make it up to you, okay?” he assured her and kissed her over her lips.

He tilted his head while starring at it, seems like one isn’t enough so he dropped another two before he stopped himself. He made her face the view again as he give her a warm back hug and rested his chin at her shoulders.

“Thank you for being here with me today, I love you Min Yoongi.” she muttered as they both looked over the sun rising beautifully. Yoongi smiled in satisfaction as he heard those words.

It was just one sentence but it already means a lot for him. To hear her appreciating his little effort to make it up for her and her saying that she loves him sure feels great.

“I love you even more, thank you for being part of my life Y/n. It was worth it.”

So, first request done! Omg I’m so thrilled!!!! Thank you anon for requesting and I hope you enjoyed what I wrote. Have a nice day! ✨

[helisol]

ye s, well

it basically came to me like a prophet receiving a vision from an angry god. you know. like brian david gilberts video ideas but with more slow burn.

no really i wrote all this down in my phone’s note app because some nearly coherent things popped up in my head every time i was on the train or bus these last few days.

(after-actually-writing-this disclaimer/note: this is 2000 words of slightly edited rambling about Bagginshield in the Afterlife. i had to put it in a read more.)

so the gist of it

the botfa goes just as in the movie with minor details altered. like bilbo kissing thorin just before he dies which inadvertently causes a ripple in time and space that makes the valar curious of them both. you know. minor stuff.

so bilbo goes back to the shire, the war of the ring goes down, and the hobbit/elf gang sails to valinor at the end. classic stuff, not much alternating of universes here.

but here’s where things turn into the “my city now” meme because DUDE DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT VALINOR AND HOW THE AFTERLIFE WORKS

like, I’m sorry mister jolkien rolkien tolkien, but just putting people into a hall to await being judged like a hospital waiting room? snooze, that’s boring!

so first of all, and you can fight me on this, Yavanna Made The Hobbits And You Can’t Change My Mind.

it just makes sense for her to have been very saddened by the destruction of literally all her work on arda through melkor’s poison, so she made living, growing things that could protect themselves from harm. as opposed to the ents, by the way, which were made by Eru to protect all the other living, growing things. it was a nice gesture of Eru to make those, but not quite what Yavanna wanted or had in mind, i imagine.

as with the dwarves, Eru wasn’t all happy about the existence of another race he didn’t make but you know, whatever, ‘I’ll just let this married couple have their own kids aside from mine, it’s okay’.

so he hands both the dwarves and the hobbits independent thought and free will, but under the condition (and here is where the afterlife stuff comes into play) that Aule and Yavanna be responsible for their mortal creations after their death. meaning that both races have seperate afterlives from the halls of mandos, MEANING THAT ITS COMPLETELY FINE FOR AULE AND YAVANNA TO BE LIKE “oh look honey, these two are so very in love and remind me of us, shan’t we do something about that?”

so. they do something about that. more precisely, they rearrange their afterlife-realms so they’re next to each other and someone with enough willpower could cross through the barrier. because listen, they’re valar, they can do whatever they want just for kicks.

okay so after that tangent lets get back to the meat of the matter: gay dwarves. I know not everyone has read Sansukh, a 500k word mammoth of a fic, and I don’t really intend to copy any of det’s canon, but their version of The Halls of Mahal really inspired me. basically the dwarven afterlife is one big hunk of a mountain/underground city where they’re free to live their days until dagor dagorath doing what they do best in the company of their families and friends; like smithing, crafting, building and other JustDwarrowThings.

meanwhile the hobbit afterlife is Basically The Shire and instead of being given the materials to build things, all the hobbits who go there get to grow plants and do their gardening. they don’t have to- just like none of the dwarves have to craft stuff- since there’s always enough food for everyone, but they are just allowed to do what they do best if they so desire.

now when Bilbo arrived in the undying lands he was still Old As Hell and im sorry to put it this way, he definitely kicked the can after like, a week of living there. not really so undying, them lands, huh. anyway Bilbo bites the dust and LOOK AT THAT he’s suddenly young again, and another LOOK AT THAT he’s standing in a very comfy, but Not Quite Bag End hobbit hole that has a note hung up on the front door. you wouldn’t think gods could have handwriting but hey, again, they’re gods they can do whatever. the note just tells him that yavannah made this place special and just for Bilbo but that there’s another home waiting for him. very cryptic there, lady. he doesn’t leave at first because hey, his family is here. there’s a lot of reunions and celebrating and food because its the fucking hobbit afterlife, what else would you expect

it takes him a few days of Regular Hobbit Life in his new home to realise ‘holy shit, this is so boring’ so what does a Fool of a Took do when things get boring and there’s a note urging him to do something?

HE’S GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

so Bilbo runs through the whole not-shire, meeting all sorts of people he outlived on the way (looking at you, Lobelia), as well as some elves. because elves can definitely just waltz through all the afterlives. they can walk on top of snow, you think they wouldn’t walk around wherever they please in valinor? rip to mankind, but they’re different.

he gets to the furthest reaches of it eventually, and lo and behold, what awaits him but the view of a tall mountain, an invisible barrier and a very flustered Thorin who is at his wits end as to how Bilbo even got here.

now for thorin’s part of the story we’ll have to start after the botfa again. he basically woke up in the darkness like an episode of naked and afraid, and started talking to Aule. his maker, who loves him to bits by the way since he made thorin, just tells him he’s free to go wherever his heart takes him. again with the cryptic messages from the gods.

so thorin, still very self-loathing and bitter because of his actions right before his death, sees this as Mahal’s way of saying ‘please don’t step foot in my halls u disgusting litle creacher’, when really he just meant ‘please do some well deserved self reflecting and then come inside to be with your family, they all miss you terribly’.

after his chat with the maker thorin just spawns in right at the front gate of the mountain and he has a choice to make. go inside or stay outside. and we all know Thorin’s proclivity for drama so he basically spends LITERAL YEARS just living in self imposed solitary confinement.

oh also tiny hc here, thorin was said to have taken “any work offered to him in the towns of men”, and they showed him in a smithy, but personally I believe they meant it when they said “any kind of work”. so basically thorin is a jack of all trades, master of some. he definitely has master-level skills in certain areas though, enough to build a vaguely hobbit-hole shaped house. why is it hobbit hole shaped?

oh right, the part where Thorin is absolutely enamoured with Bilbo.

"Go back to your books and your armchair, plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”- HELLO? GAY POLICE? I’D LIKE TO REPORT A CASE OF ‘DWARF KING REALISING THAT THE HOBBIT WAY OF LIVING IS A REALLY GREAT ONE IN CONCEPT / WISHING HE COULD HAVE HAD THAT KIND OF LIFE WITH BILBO’

anyway it’s a long 80 years until Thorin does get to meet Bilbo again, and in the meantime we have one of my favorite additions to any Hobbit fanfic ever: Frerin

For the uninitiated, Frerin is Thorin’s brother. They also have a sister, Dís, but Tolkien never specified when she died and she was a bit younger than Thorin and Frerin so I reckon she’d still be alive as an old dwarf lady somewhere?

Anyway, Frerin. Oh boy. Sansukh, again, does an excellent job at turning Frerin into a character with a level of authenticity that gets real fucking close to Genuine Tolkien™, so most of my own characterisation of Frerin is based on that in Sansukh. With the important omission of the dwarves not being able to see the present/their still alive loved ones in middle earth through a magic mirror pool.

so Frerin takes it upon himself to leave the mountain in search of his brother because he really does want him back. but also because Mahal has had it with Thorin’s antics and suggests Frerin fetch him so he can finally reunite with his family. Mahal doesn’t talk to the dwarves a lot because he’s like an awkward and distant dad, but he does actually speak to them.

so Thorin is supposed to go see his family, which he does, but not immediately. it takes like, a solid year of just brotherly (and sister-sonly) companionship for him to open up about all his anxieties and regrets and THEN he goes into the mountain to cry in his mother’s lap. as you do.

however Thorin still feels like he doesn’t 100% belong with the other dwarves in there, so he frequently spends long stretches of time outside, building away at his house, thinking about Bilbo. the company goes out to visit him sometimes.

more details on the house tho, cuz it’s Important; it’s built halfway into a hill near the mountain, like a proper hobbit hole would be, but the lower levels are built into stone. look, he’s had 80 years to work on constructing this. it’s near perfect in every way for both hobbit and dwarf standards and could definitely fit the entire company and more inside.

now about the barrier. elves can pass through without a second thought because they’re shiny little bastards who just get to do all the cool stuff, but the other races can’t just hop between realms like that; they really have to muster up the willpower. which usually means they can’t do it because a drawback for both dwarves and hobbits is that they favor isolation from other races even in death, and as such don’t want to mingle with each other.

unless you’re Bilbo Badass Baggins though, who simply runs through the barrier to yell at Thorin for leaving him sad and alone for 80 years. he is that bitch.

there’s gonna be some legolas and gimli shenanigans if i can fit them in (cuz i dont know when exactly they sailed west together), possibly a mention of tauriel because bruh peter jackson did us dirty by not giving her any closure besides ‘lol i guess she’s banished from mirkwood??’ and Mairon. because. I also have some thoughts about him.

also Fili and Kili as pseudo matchmakers because every fic needs that

and did I mention there’s gonna be hozier lyrics for chapter titles

i said this was the gist of it but i somehow ended up at ~1900 words. well, more power to me.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

me: i don’t have anything to post ughhh also me: has 10 95% finished drafts i could literally take an hour to finish and upload but won’t me: lemme start a new analysis

aaaaaa the mural of mayhem looks so good (source)

tl;dr: bunches of new environment shots. also i wanna time travel So Bad, just so Bad,,, gearbox, please, time travel??? i wanna meet The Man Typhon Deleon just *clenches fist* so bad and slap him for leading to the opening of the first vault. also for some reason tina is the only one of the good guys with the fabric stuff the twins are wearing. be warned. oh, also, there might be some ursa mechs? i saw like 3 robos that look like iron bear but aren’t colored like it so who even knows. oh and we see the scientist (?) dude in color next to Tannis from the MoM. he seems cool evil.

i don’t even know where to begin here so let’s start with the middle and work our way towards literally whatever catches my eye next. i have no method, im a disaster

OwO

nothing too special about our VHs here, they seem to be using the gold gun skins that are offering in either the early adopter pack or the other pack u get i think for signing up to be a VIP. so that’s neat. also shows off the good guys = blue/yellow theme we see throughout the mural.

there is this weird square shape in the sky/clouds above them? idk what it’s supposed to be, though. a logo? a ship? a building? i can’t tell!

i could be wrong/seeing things though lol

zoomer isn’t colored in! probably didn’t want to detract from the main 4 VHs. additionally, Amara’s arms don’t have their patterns across them. 

Moze is also the only VH here with a hint as to what her Action Skill is. IB is elsewhere on the mural, though. We’ll get to him.

the Vault behind them!

moving down below the VHs, we see this ship

I’ve spoken about it before, so i won’t go into it here

bandits? i think! looks like at least one of them is wearing power armor... or just a suit of armor in general. it looks like power armor to me tho lol

another set of silhouettes in the foreground on the right there. can’t tell who/what they’re supposed to be unfortunately, but im going to assume more bandits

interestingly, we see the ruins of helios SUPER close and, even more interestingly, what appears to be a Vault in front of it! Which could very well be the Vault of the Traveler? since the Traveler itself can’t teleport it anymore (cause y’know... it ded.) It has a weird shape at the bottom, idk what that is supposed to be. it looks like a curvy outline of an arrow tbh lol. i wonder if the Vault actually did teleport Rhys and Fiona somewhere. I also wonder if the thing on the bottom is meant to help ‘visitors’ or something idk use/see/extract whatever was in the Vault. there was like some stairs and then a chest..? thing? idek. 

but yeah, looks like the Vault by Helios is doing well. Also, Vaughn apparently knows Rhys is on Promethea (soon) after the end of tales so I wonder if that actually is a portal... either way, i hope this means we’ll get to go visit 👀 We’ve visited the ruins of helios already in commander lilith, so hopefully this isn’t too much of a stretch.

to the right of that we see Lorelei knockin the shit out of a goliath that seems... kinda small compared to her? idk maybe it’s cause he’s lying down (and out).

We also see another instance of Mystery Girl up at the top there, though she’s in the exact same pose as the mask of mayhem which makes me kinda sad. i was hoping to see another angle of her or something. I do hope she’s actually in the game and isn’t just a statue. be wild if tyreen gave her the suck or something to turn her into a statue to preserve her in the hopes that doing the reverse succ/getting the ultimate power would let ty bring her back to life at a later point lmao

below lorelei we can see a crimson raider in the ash cloud! i have no idea why he’s there but he’s lookin baller.

next to to lorelei is a titan (unsure if that’s the official name for these big guys or if the one in the showcase was unique) a skag and clappy! I can’t tell if clappy is holding something in his left arm or not

also the background looks like a city. i think that is promethea? i can’t really tell tbh

next to clappy we see part of a ferris wheel which im pretty sure is part of the circus area we’ve seen in the trailers. the one with the circle emblem thing above the door/entrance.

below clappy/marcus we see what i think is part of Eden-6

the bridge/road has me going like 🤔 but the foliage pretty much confirms it. might be related to that research base looking area. might be related to jakobs manor (maybe they have a bridge to keep bandits out) idk

above that we see marcus looking some cash to a bunch of psychos. I think he has an ECHO skin? i can’t really tell. not really much to say here tbh, is marcs.

behind him we see this landscape which i don’t think we’ve seen before. the tree is screaming Athenas at me but tbh i think we’ve only seen red trees there, haven’t we? also is that the handle of a sword near the bottom there? wtf is that?

maybe a new planet? or a new biome on one of the planets we haven’t seen yet. it looks like a savanna tree to me. you know the ones?

yeah. possible new planet/new biome we haven’t seen yet?? i would ADORE a savanna type area. 

next to that we see a tink and a skag in front of the HBC. I thiiink the tink is holding a flamethrower? not sure, though. maybe a miniboss like midgemong? that’d be neat asf

i can’t tell if this is a suit of power armor/a robot or just part of the environment lol, i can see the helmet up top and a big bulky body. i would love to fight power armored enemies like that, be so cool! maybe these are modified suits of the ursa corps project? or something. idk about the helmet.

above the tink/skag combo we can see more silhouettes in the foreground. i seriously can’t make out who they’re supposed to be :( maybe some maliwan troops? i feel like they’d be more recognizable, though. hmhmhmhm

in the background we see another robo/power armor suit (???? i think????), this one seems to have a flamethrower, which is kinda reinforcing my theory they might be repurposed armor sets. this one doesn’t appear to have a helmet. kinda get the feeling they’re either repurposed or completely different cuz the helmet on the other one is throwing me off a touch. IB doesn’t have a helmet. 

for reference.

above that weirdly confusing collection of entities, we have hammerlock!

my boiii

and finally to the left of hammerlock we get to the big boy of this side of the mural

the god queen herself.

first thing i noticed? her jacket seems to be warping into that weird fabric we see clinging to other baddies throughout the mural and covering her right leg. 

She seems to be holding up a grenade/molotov cocktail/smoke bomb?

pretty sure it’s a molotov cocktail though

i love how the smoke merges into the roses above her. really cool detail. you can also see the recruitment center to the right there! and a crane which makes me double down on the idea that the ‘vault’ we see in the booth thing had been excavated by dahl (considering the main building of the RC is a dahl building)

we also see a fire rakk? ?? i think? be cool if we got badass elemental rakks. i’ve only ever seen normal badass rakks. i wonder if this is a play on the fact there’s a psycho in the MoM with rakk wings and the twins stole lily’s firehawk powers... probably not, right? probably not...

ty’s tattoos are lookin kinda green for me here, might be the close proximity to all those browns and reds, though. it’d be really cool if she could pull an amara and swap her succ elements LMAO

a bunch of psychos! all with wings! which is weird cause the sirens don’t have wings here. weird chunk of symbolism i guess. we can see a tubby on the top there which makes me happy to know they’re coming back. there’s one with 

a glowing nose

and there’s this figure on the very left

who doesn’t appear to be a psycho at all

also, note that all these psychos have a ‘normal’ brown/gray buzzaxe

the one at the bottom here, on ty’s left has a more golden-colored buzzaxe. im p sure that corresponds to rank in cult. i also feel obligated to point out that, while im 90% sure that flame is coming from the flamethrower on the right there, it does kinda look like the bottom psycho is shooting a blast of flames out of his palm. 

moving right along

the whole entourage seems to be laying across a statue of roses, which match the ones at the top of the mural AND the ones on the cover art.

we see a shot of Pandora and Elpis here (I’m pretty sure. the purple light at the top right makes me believe that’s the eridian scar, but.... may not be)

looks very volcanic...

we see one of those lil video game dudes from the demo, forgot their names but they’re Maliwan

below them we see this scene

which is an area i don’t recognize. eden-6 maybe? the buildings seem a bit close together, though.

tbh i thought this was another city at first, maybe it’s Promethea from ye olde days? you know, before Atlas took over and modernized it. Maybe we’ll get to go back in time to stop the first Vault from ever being opened. that’d be pretty cool. man time travel would be wild. i wonder if we’d be able to combine the Vault of the Traveler and the Vault of the Sentinel to do that. now that’d be cool.

but it’s probably eden-6 lmao

quadruple threat here. from top to bottom: Rhys, Zer0, Vaughn, Aurelia? i think. 

her hair seems spikier in the mask bit... maybe that’s not her? she also doesn’t have the earrings. idk who else it could be, though. 🤔

anyway. Vaughn seems to be climbing a cliff or something lol. at least he’s got a cape and his relic of strength on him.

rhys and zer0 are in the same poses as their poses on the Mask of Mayhem, just colored in.

biggg statue of ty. noticeably missing her facial scars. not much else to say, pretty sure this is just a different(ish) angle of her MoM statue during the pan around.

back to the bottom center of the mural, let’s move left

someone with a jetpack! i can’t make out who, though. i thought it was Moze at first but... she needs her digistruct pack for iron bear.

Also a bunch of psychos all fighting each other. over the buzzaxes maybe? if they really are a symbol of rank in the cult. that or they’re just being psychos. 

this area with a waterfall and also a drainage pipe. i think this is also eden-6, but i am not 100% sure. probably an area we haven’t seen yet.

lily!! her right (our left) wing looks really weird to me, idk what it is. it’s a lot redder/yellower than her left one. Also, the tattoos near her wrist look like they’re coming off her arm. 

to the left of lily we see ellie!

holding a whole-ass street sign. insane.

next/behind her is promethea! which we’ve seen before. it looks like one of the buildings in the middle there is getting blasted by something, but idk what. maybe something Maliwan? 

also, on the left there we can see what i thought was iron bear

but now i am second guessing myself due to the other robos/armor suits we saw on the right of the mural. 

maybe they did not color in IB fully like Zoomer? it looks like there is someone/something where the turret mount would be. maybe that is moze standing up there? it would be really interesting to see other Ursa Corps soldiers coming in. I know they mentioned in the Commander Lily ECHO log that Vladof was at war with Tediore, and we know through their advertisements for bl2 that Vladof is also at war with Dahl. It’s possible we’ll see some of their troops in the game! especially since Moze’s echo actually talks about the troop as a whole and not specifically her, unlike the others.

next to the mystery mech or iron bear (you decide) we see Mystery Girl/Little Blue/Nope Girl

and, yeah, starting to think she may not actually fit into the timeline of Steele’s death. she looks older than 12 to me (for reference, in bl2 tina was 13). but we haven’t quite seen enough of her so who knows. im getting ‘way too tall’ vibes. maybe 14-15? maybe mystery MoM girl is her little sister. i would not be surprised if we saw another sibling relationship to juxtapose the twins (considering mystery girl looks like a CoV bandit, they’d be distant at the start and close at the end of the game while the twins are close at the start and distant at the end of the game- we know Danny Homan said their relationship would start to warp). 

below her we see this area

i think that’s a water tank at the bottom there? this looks kinda like a garden/courtyard area to me. Maybe another place on Athenas? i want to say Athenas bc Little Blue is directly above it. may be another new planet/biome/region we haven’t seen yet.

Above L.B we see this car

which is interesting to me bc it appears to have a closed top? I could be wrong though. would be fun to see Vasquez’s car make a return, tho lol (and then everyone gets mad the fuckin car is making an appearance but Gaige isn’t)

above that we see Tina and Mordy (and Talon) making an appearance. Tina appears to be in the same pose as her Mappearancence, including the huge launcher behind her which has me like :O Talon is a girl now in bl3, right? unless their gender changed again after the commander lilith stuff.

Also, I’m hesitant to note that Tina is the only ‘good guy’ character to have the fabric on. Everyone other character with it is either a psycho or one of the twins. I hope that’s just artistic choice and nothing more because :(

also she has bows on her shoes. fucking ace

to their right we see 3 very interesting things so we’ll go in order from the bottom counter clockwise

another mystery dude who seems to match the one we saw by tyreen, and those silhouettes again. It looks like they’re reaching down to save their falling teammates. i hope they’re alright. (unless they’re evil. then, oof, crash and burn)

at the top i can see a bunch of men with guns pointed at what i think is a jabber? but the lower bit i can’t make out. someone’s falling at the very bottom, it looks like a second falling figure has been caught with rope? idk.

above that scene we see

tannis! and the mystery guy to the bottom right. the one we’ve seen standing next to her in the MoM. does he have red eyes for anyone else or is that just me? might just be the lighting. Do I think he’s evil? you know the fuck i do. I trust nobody lol. Since I’m a fan of the “the twins are the product of a weird experiment” theory, it’s possible he is the experimenter. Tannis could’ve been feeding him information. maybe she didn’t even know what was going on- though, knowing her disregard for ethics, maybe she did. 

this guy btw

it looks like tannis is holding an eridian artifact?

maybe?? it looks like she’s holding it horizontally, if it is an artifact.

to her right and our left we see a familiar shot of Promethea. I’ve seen this exact frame before, iirc that building is smoking bc it’s Rhys’s office. actually, that could explain Rhys joining us on Sanc-III! maybe Lorelei, too.

above Tina and Mordy we see Brick

and to the right of him, Moxxi and her bar sign

she has a new megaphone, i wonder if that is hinting we’ll be getting more circles of slaughters/underdomes. It would be nice to have her commentary return, i actually really enjoyed that in the bl1 dlc and I did actually enjoy her dlc. The wave combat was fun. I’d love to have an endless wave version to see how long i could survive.

it also looks like there are a bunch of psychos (?) hanging out around the bar. and this character at the bottom right who i don’t recognize

to the far right of moxxi we see Maya

i think this is a new pose, but tbh i don’t see anything noteworthy here. I do think it’s interesting she’s using pistols instead of smgs, but oh well. might just be for the poses lol

Troy’s statue. one interesting bit i gotta mention is that it looks like the cut on the right side of his face (our left) is visible here! iirc it was not visible on his portraits in the MoM. so that’s new!

the big boy of this side of the mural!

none of the psychos on this side seem to have golden buzzaxes, plus their drapes? wtf are these? they don’t look like robes to me. anyway, they’re darker in color than the ones on Ty’s side. might be artistic direction, might be showing they’re not as high rank as the ones with the god queen (vs the right hand man lol)

i also only see 2 psychos with wings here, the one on the very left and you can see part of a wing on the bottom right. They also don’t appear to be resting/climbing on a statue like Tyreen’s are. There is ALSO a lot less of them. 

some interesting stuff about Troy: his stomach tattoos don’t seem to be around, but that could be because of the detail level required- would probably look like a big ol smudge. it is cool seeing Troy with a gun, is this the first time? i can’t remember, but i know we always saw him with his sword. i find it kinda funny they decided on the gun considering this is supposed to be renaissance, the sword would (kinda) be more fitting in that regard. it is also a giant glowy tech sword, so maybe not.

Also, Ty’s side of the mural is the only one with the roses. idk if that’s to signify something or just to balance out colors, though you’d think the red clouds on troy’s side couldve been easily converted to roses as well. hmmm 🤔

anyway, this is all i’ve got. if i missed something/if you think of something new please tell me! i wanna know 👀

[f-nodragonart]

alright, so I saw HTTYD3 the other day, and I have a few thoughtsss abt it and the franchise as a whole. below the cut for spoilers

HTTYD3 is..... a strange conclusion to the series....

while I wouldn’t say I had necessarily high hopes for this film, considering how the 2nd was handled, I was at LEAST expecting more than we got here

tho I suppose the main reason I was expecting more was b/c I know the overall plot for this trilogy was more or less planned out after the 1st film came out. the director-- Dean DeBlois-- knew how this was all gonna go down b/c he only agreed to a 2nd film if it could be made into a trilogy. I’ve known this for at least 8yrs, so I was expecting careful planning and execution if he was so excited to do EXACTLY 3 films

in retrospect, this may have been what ruined the continuations. I’m p sure HTTYD1 wasn’t guaranteed to continue into a series initially, so it was made as a mostly standalone film. I think the following films were stunted by their need to fit into an overarching storyline, b/c if you look at the trilogy as a whole, it feels very much like the climax hit in the 2nd film, while the whole 3rd film was simply a wrap-up of the plot

and that’s what rly ruins this film for me-- even more than the Light Fury (which I will get to). Grimmel seems like a gr8 villain on paper (the guy who eliminated practically all Night Furies?? awesome!!), but in practice he isn’t very threatening. I’m p sure he doesn’t actually kill a single dragon in the whole film, nor does he even rly threaten the safety of any humans. he mayyyy have killed that one dragon that charged him at the very beginning b/c there was a discretion shot over the dragon’s head, but Grimmel literally never used deadly arrows in the rest of the film, so I can’t guarantee he didn’t just tranq the dragon instead

like, every scene where I thought there were going to be actual stakes leading to an actual climax, everything was just resolved a few moments later. oh no the main gang got trapped w/ the Deathgrippers! oh, they all escaped just fine. oh no, actually Ruffnut was left behind!! oh wait, Grimmel isn’t threatening her in any way, so she’s prolly gonna be fine

like, hell, if he at LEAST gave the implication that he had every intention to eliminate any obstacles, but was simply being held back by those side-villains he was working with, he would’ve been SO much more threatening. maybe if he had gone to stab Ruffnut in that scene, but the other folks there were like, “WHOA Grimmel, she’s just a kid, cool it!!” I would’ve LOVED a sort of Jumba reveal like, “Hiding behind your little friend won’t work anymore! We got fired this morning~” where all bets are off in the final battle and Grimmel’s strategies turn strictly deadly

on that note, it would’ve been fun to utilize the Deathgrippers’ poison to emphasize this point. like, make it clear that dosage levels change the effect of the poison, where a small dosage may simply paralyze or knock out, while a large dosage can kill. sadly this isn’t how the poison was used-- instead it was some vaguely-defined substance that in one instance could knock out a dragon completely, while in another could be used as a mind-control serum? what???

at the very least, the Deathgrippers themselves are VERY cool. prolly my fave dragon designs in the whole franchise, right after Toothless

my biggest worldbuilding complaint is actually something that transfers over from the second film-- Alphas.

I don’t think I’ve talked abt this much here, but I fucking HATE this stupid Alpha thing the 2nd film introduced. like, the power that the queen dragon had over all the other dragons in the 1st film was already a big stretch I didn’t particularly like, but this Alpha thing rly breaks any and all suspension of disbelief for me

like, the dragons in these films are designed to be incredibly unique, both physically AND behaviorally. there are water dragons designed for an exclusively aquatic lifestyle, tiny dragons that scuttle around the underbrush in little packs, ENORMOUS dragons that seem to live solitary lifestyles, dragons w/ 4 limbs or 6 limbs that must be separated by millions of years of evolution, etc. etc.

there’s just. there’s NO good reason ANY single dragon (any single SPECIES of dragon) should be considered an “Alpha” to ALL DRAGONS, when there’s no realistic indication that these dragons are even socially/physiologically bound to one another in any significant way. these are UNIQUE SPECIES built to live their UNIQUE LIVES in UNIQUE ENVIRONMENTS/SCENARIOS. sure, they may be social enough to intermingle, but why in the world would they all be grouped together??

like, if we’re rly gonna go for a “hivemind” approach, here, then what are the roles of each species? “hivemind” groups can be compared to a superorganism, where each caste performs a certain task comparable to an organ system, so what do Nadders do? Zipplebacks? Monstrous Nightmares? I mean, they HAVE to be built for a specific task in this scenario, b/c why else would each species be designed so differently??

not only that, but “Alpha” is such a Western human concept that rarely ever applies to the rest of the animal kingdom-- not actual “hiveminds” (go to the “swarm intelligence” section), and certainly not the wolf packs alphas are popularly associated with

hivemind simply doesn’t work here. it’s like saying all mammals are bound by a planet-wide “packmind”, and that there’s some “Alpha Mammal” out there we all have to answer to. it’s goddamn ludicrous 

but ok, let’s give this hivemind idea the benefit of the doubt-- who’s to say that this HTTYD planet has to be bound by the same rules as our Earth? so let’s say that HTTYD dragons are bound by “packmind”, ok sure

but the packmind present here isn’t even consistent w/in the narrative! 

when Valka first introduced the Bewilderbeast as the true “king of dragons”, the implication was that leadership is some kind of species-specific thing-- like only Bewilderbeasts (and possibly Red Deaths, to a lesser degree?) could be Alphas. alright, fair enough, that’s one way to approach the worldbuilding here. maybe this one species is very rare across the planet, and they feel an instinctual, almost parental pull towards other, smaller dragons

but then Toothless becomes alpha, so that theory is thrown out the window, and we come to realize this is a social thing. OK sure, that’s another approach to packmind. individuals compete, and the most capable takes on the role of Alpha

but then you realize it rly isn’t JUST a social thing b/c.... Toothless glows now. and Alphas in general are shown to have not JUST influence over dragons, but straight-up MIND CONTROL

WHAT. THE FUCK. DEFINES. AN ALPHA.

like, ok, physiological changes can make sense, our physiology is actively influenced by our environment, emotions, etc. I’ll even be forgiving and say that Toothless’ glow is an understandable, physiological change due to being Alpha. 

but if Alpha truly is a social/physiological role rather than a species-specific role, how the HELL does the straight-up mind control work? are all dragon species capable of it, but they have to get the Alpha role in order to use it? why is it straight-up mind control in the first place, that’s not even very practical? what is going on?????

and now we finally get to the problems this brings up in this final film, and how they complicate the problems we see b/t Toothless and the Light Fury in terms of design

see, Toothless is STILL the only black Fury in the whole franchise (besides his kids maybe, but we’ll get there). we only see the main Light Fury and two other Light Furies, but not any other NIGHT Furies

after Toothless goes Alpha, we don’t REALLY know what of his new traits are typical to a Night Fury, and what traits have been influenced by being Alpha. who’s to say that his glow isn’t simply a Night Fury thing he had to grow into, for instance?

so we get to one of the most egregious things in this new film-- to me, at least-- where Toothless gets fuckin........................................ lightning powers.......................................

HELLO??????????????????????????????

is this an Alpha thing? can alphas control lightning? or is this a Night Fury thing? the Light Fury certainly seemed surprised by it, so it seems that at least females can’t do it!!

at least if it was an Alpha thing, I could give this the tiniest of passes and say, “oh, Alpha-ness affects each species of dragon differently, so they unlock species-specific powers when they go Alpha.” it’s fucking DUMB, but at least it’s SOMETHING. but this rly feels like it was meant to further highlight male/female differences, and give Toothless a decidedly more “masculine” power compared to the Light Fury. which makes no goddamn sense in terms of sexual dimorphism, so it’s automatically more dumb than the Alpha explanation. we’ll never know for sure which reasoning it is, but either way I hate it.

and NOW we finally get to the meat of what ppl have prolly wanted to hear from this-- my thoughts on the Light Fury in-context

well, sadly, as folks have pointed out to us over the last few weeks, our aquatic theory was blown out of the water. the Light Fury (I’m just gonna call her LF for convenience), nor any of the other dragons in the “Hidden World” were any more aquatically-leaning than any of the other dragons in the film. Grimmel himself smacked cold climates out of the running for Furies, so LF’s not even white for arctic camouflage. all signs point to........ *sigh*............. ~~*sexual dimorphism*~~

the especially shitty thing is that there could’ve been a cool, semi-explanation for this, since Night Furies as a whole seem to have camouflage abilities. maybe LF just prefers to be white, or she goes light in certain scenes (like when they’re on the beach) to match her environment, but is actually black like Toothless. it still wouldn’t explain away her dainty build, but it’d at least be SOMETHING. but no, she’s dainty and white b/c ~~~feeeeeeeeemaleeee~~~

which is actually rly confusing, b/c this tweet suggests that LF actually IS a unique variation on the species, but almost nothing in the movie indicates such. the one scene that rly stuck out for this was when Grimmel saw the Light Fury for the first time and IMMEDIATELY was like, “A female?” now u could argue that he’s so familiar w/ Furies that he can tell at a glance the sex of a Fury even in just a few small details, but what this scene implied to me is that female Night Furies are obviously and recognizably white-- thus that Light Furies are actually just..... Night Furies...

the only thing that convinces me that LF rly is a subspecies rather than just a female Night Fury is that Toothless’ and LF’s kids turn out all patchy, which wouldn’t make a whole lotta sense w/ sexual dimorphism. now u could argue that juveniles of a lot of species usually have to grow into their adult coats/patterns, or maybe even that Night Furies start out unisex/nonsexed then grow into a sex depending on hormones (or could even change their sex over their lifetime!). that would actually be interesting lore to make up for some of the shitty dimorphism! 

but I get the feeling that these hatchling designs are supposed to be the designers’ get-out-of-jail card, like, “see, their kids are CLEARLY hybrids, so this explains away LF’s design as a subspecies, so u can’t actually get mad at us for it!!!” despite the fact that there’s no real explanation for why she looks like...... that. the coloration I can see for that weird technicolor Hidden World, but the smoothness? the daintiness? only an aquatic lifestyle could’ve saved that for me, and that was trashed hard

there’s just no good reason for a Light Fury subspecies to look the way they do, and there’s even less reason for female Night Furies to look that way, so either explanation is trash

so y’know. real nice to see HTTYD continue their tradition of crappy treatment of their main female characters. Valka’s sudden decline from a strong, mysterious warrior, to a damsel in distress when she’s revealed to be feeeeemaleeeee in the 2nd film. that HORRIFIC, “but THIS is a KING,” line in that same film. Astrid’s unrealistic nosedive into love straight from apathy in the first film. actually, Astrid’s presence in the whole franchise feels.... some weird kinda way to me, but I can’t rly put my finger on it. someone else will have to deep-dive analyze her for me b/c I can’t rly get a grasp on why I don’t like her much as a character, but something feels off abt her, esp after she falls in love w/ Hiccup...

anyways, all those specific critiques in mind, here are my synthesized thoughts on the trilogy:

I’m tempted to call HTTYD1 a practically perfect film. the plot is solid and takes the “boy and his dog” approach in a new direction, most of the characters feel real and relatable, there’s so much unique charm in the world/aesthetic/characters/etc., and most importantly it has so much heart that shines through every interaction (particularly b/t Toothless and Hiccup) and the general theme of the film. I think my only real complaint abt this first film is how quickly Astrid flips from feeling nothing for Hiccup to being in love w/ him, that was p ridiculous

HTTYD2 has a lot of faults. a LOT. a lot of weird sexism involving the Valka and the comparisons b/t “kings” and “queens”, weird motivations for Valka, a lot of weird racism involving Drago (which didn’t rly transfer to the 3rd film so it didn’t feel relevant to this discussion earlier), and absolute NONSENSE Alpha plot convenience. however, even if HTTYD2 lacks in plot/worldbuilding (and, more disappointingly, appropriate handling of certain characters...), it still has all the heart and charm of the first film imo. this film is absolutely BURSTING w/ emotions b/t different characters (Stoick/Valka of particular note, of course), and most every scene hit hard enough to stick w/ me longgg after I’d seen the film. it’s far from perfect, but I think the heart and charm can make up for a lot of its faults

HTTYD3 is. not great. the plot isn’t bad on paper, but in practice it lacks any real stakes due to a fangless villain. for as much as I hate the Light Fury’s design and the heavy sexism associated w/ her whole plot, I would honestly say it’s the flat villain and lack of any real stakes that make this film most unenjoyable. this fear of real stakes scooped out all the heart that should transfer from the first two films, leaving a rather empty film where even the emotional moments (like the reverse callback to Hiccup first touching Toothless’ face) don’t hit nearly as hard as they should, nor do they stick w/ me at all after leaving the theater. the only thing I’ll give this film is that it at LEAST has the charm of the original characters to carry it (Hiccup and Toothless are still great, Ruffnut’s imprisonment was prolly my favorite scene in the film, etc.), but that’s not rly saying much when the film SHOULD be able to stand on its own and not simply rely on the crutch of already well-loved characters to pull it thru

-Mod Spiral

[wolveswithhats]

For WIP Week

Abandoned idea from a few years ago, a melding of two of my favorite things, Buffy and Portal! Of the idea that the Initiative ships off some of its demons to Aperture. Because....reasons. Spike-centric (or, well, Spike-exclusive ). Very sloppy. Outline-quality, lots of meandering, unfinished, unpolished concepts. Riddled with editing notes. I didn’t even bother with capitalization. Still, there’s some fun stuff in here.

(I don’t care if anyone reblogs, just don’t put it on any of the aggregators, please. This is too rough drafty and embarrassing to be filed away as Content Worth Looking At.)

(captured by initiative again. s4 – s5. initiative shutting down, cementing off. exterminate all demons. riley pulls some strings to have spike shipped off instead of staked. the smallest of favors. i'm still on team riley-isn't-a-total-douchebag. he's aight.)

an hour later, spike and three of his ugliest friends are caged and carted into the back of a semi for a cross country drive across america's finest bypasses. through a hole in the wall watches steel and mortar slowly give off to rolling green-gold fields. teeny tiny farmsteads, clarkston and robin glen and with some disgust, notes the turnoff for a lake angelus, some thirty miles north of detroit.

(his initiative vamp neighbor, 90s grunge clothes, grunge name – trevor – fledge too young to drop game face.)

“christ, i heard about this place. some science lab in a salt mine underground. they say this place does weird experiments.”

met with deadpan, disbelieving stares, and a disgusted tsk from the blond lady-vamp, what's-her-face, something with calendars. april or may or half-past-eleven, day day day, sunday, right, that was it.

“they took my appendix, trevor.” sunday lifts her shirt, revealing a line of stitches, “for their mix-and-match potato head monster. what the hell is a frankenzombie going to do with a shriveled, century old organ? it doesn't even do anything. how is that not weird.”

“no man, I mean really, really weird. cross-dimensional travel, like stargate. bug people. turning your blood into gasoline.”

spike snorts. “I drive a '59 fireflite. gorgeous piece of machinery, but bollocks for mileage. single digits. could due for some petrol on tap.” sad, longing, separation anxiety. his desoto was 2200 miles away baking in the california sun. once he made his way back to the west coast, he'd find those military wankers for a dechipping, kill the whole lot of them, and piss on their corpses for good measure. then he'd book it to south america, away from scalpel-wielding lab jockeys, bouncy-haired slayers and the root of every major humiliation of his unlife over the past three years. bon-fucking-voyage.

ugly demon: “that's why you should switch to a hybrid. my prius gets great fuel economy.” how does a demon that big fit into a mid-size?

(ugly demon = horned, beastly. “your primitive human anatomy lacks the necessary mouthparts to vocalize my true name. what sort of creature only has one tongue? you may call me henrietta.”)

trevor is oblivious. “they were some respected science lab back in the sixties. now? when they're not making you test out their weird experimental products, they make you run through test courses, solve puzzles. and it's all orchestrated by this giant murderous robot. like HAL from space odyssey. once people go in, they're never heard from again. it's true. my cousin knew a guy who was there, he told me all about it.”

“if no one ever gets out, how the hell does your cousin know a guy, you stupid sod.”

trevor's fangs close with an audible click, and he sits sullen for the rest of the commute.

as it turns out, stupid sod and cousin-of-sod actually did know what they were talking about.

housed on the outskirts of a wheatfield, through a gated parking lot, innocuous brick building. on the loading dock, a hispanic man in blue work coveralls wheels a dolly into the back of the mac truck. looks at his living cargo with what spike considers to be an appalling lack of concern, considering the very blatant human trafficking unfolding before him.

“you're not the parts I ordered.” gruff texan drawl. yells to the front, “where are my chamber parts?”

driver swings around front, clutching a clipboard, hands it off. “friday, likely. this is your wednesday shipment.”

“these are people.” texas squints at array of annoyed, tired faces, takes in the gnarled brows, the shackles, and the powder blue scrubs, eyes finally settling on the barbed, hulking form of henrietta. “theoretically. why do I have a shipment of mangled faces, billy idol--”

“hey!”

“--and one-fifth of gwar? are we making a music video?”

the driver shrugs. “i just deliver. sign the thing.”

texas reads off the clipboard: “subject donation from sunnydale university. volunteers?”

“experimental lab rats,” trevor offers.

“prisoners,” spike corrects, growling. “this has got to be in violation of the...what's it? geneva convention. I feel unduly treated. I want an attorney. actual, not one of those 800-number infomercial suits. due my civil rights.”

texas blinks owlishly. “what civil rights? you're not even american.”

“i'm sorry, I didn't realize I needed to shit red, white and blue to not be accosted against my will.”

ignores bitching. “are you even human?” points at henrietta. “i don't think that's human.”

(“what multiverse are you lot from?”

“california.”

“huh. always had my suspicions.”)

he was hoping for an upgrade to trousers, denim, in a dark blue or black. maybe a pale wash if it had a grunge-enough look to it. what they gave him was a pair of coveralls in sunshiny bright incarceration orange, with lines of white piping tracing the seams and a stitching of black lettering across the breast pocket labeling him as HST0017. for fuck's sake.

“i'm not wearing this.”

“as soon as you pass through that emancipation grill, any unapproved paraphernalia is forfeit.”

“meaning what?”

“your current clothes will be emancipated. pffft! you could go naked, wouldn't be the first test streaker, but I gotta warn you, there's the acid pits, the gun turrets, and oh, the lasers. burns like a bitch, and that's not even touching the potential crotch-rotting radiation--”

“just give me the fucking jumpsuit.”

they surgically grafted a band of white metal to the back of his shins, where a long curved spring of steel could be notched, lifting his feet into a painful arch, weight balanced on his toes. he was suddenly that much more impressed with the slayer and her preference for fighting evil in teetering heels, which did wonders for making her teeny weeny hobbit legs look elegant but offered only a promise of scuffed heels and snapping ankles in grave dirt. angelus-grade torture, he decided, hobbling awkward and bird-like from one side of his little glass prison to the other.

he found the entire affair ludicrous, demeaning, and oh, stupid, until he witnessed another test subject slip on a slick of orange goo and nosedive off a platform, pancaking wetly across the tile in a display of hilarious cartoon physics. it was admittedly very, very funny, and funnier still watching jaded custodians squeegee up the red smear that used to be a person, but not something he was looking to experience himself first hand.

“you know, I can see the upside of not doing my best wile e. coyote impression,” he groused, “but you should really have these things in boot form.” shifting uncomfortably as the screws in his knees creaked, puckered and itched.

rick looks at him, surprised. “that's.....that's an idea. we'll take that into consideration.”

(aaaaaaand a jump to the P2 section. slightly better quality, a little less outline-ish. tho very stream-of-consciousness)

waking up with a dry mouth, mouth full of cotton, mouth full of fluffy biker beard, and where had that image come from? like all the moisture had been sucked from the room, stale recycled air like new car smell and musk. where is here? bed, desk, dinged up dresser, ceiling-mounted tv, blacked out and coated in dust. walls decorated with murals of snowy mountains and ski lodges, tacky thrift store oil paintings. the bed he's laying on has a threadbare blue hospital blanket, and a man-shaped crater pressed into the mattress, like a police chalk outline with serious gravity. motel room? UGLY motel room. there's no windows in the room, just slated blinds stretching the length of one wall.

can't move, groggy, wet limp noodle muscles, the dead waking. stares down the length of his body. dressed like a petrol station attendant, orange jumpsuit rolled mid-shin, legs bony and corpse-white. wow, seriously overdue for a date with mr. sunshine.

figure out the who the what and the why after he quenched this sahara on his tongue. room to the left of the bed, loo, good, yes. force himself to move, up and over, muscles clenching in rebellion, stumble over with white white legs buckling like a newborn deer. sink, yes, water churned and choked god why is it taking so long finally sputters out, drinks and drinks tinny tap water until he feels like he's going to burst. sates the fire in his mouth but not the thirst, the hunger, god what is that?

looks up in the dark of the bathroom into the mirror, and sees nothing, just dingy white tile where his face should be. huh. well that's just... different. it's unnatural, he knows, because hello, does still remember how a mirror works, even if he can't remember much of anything else. experiments, lifts the crusty dry slab of soap and watches its reflection bob phantom-like in mid-air. right, so, the mirror isn't broken, just him. but it doesn't feel wrong, like somehow he's just used to staring at empty space in the mirror.

what the hell is he?

sits back on the bed, hands clenching knees.

beyond the doorway, he expects a hallway, maybe, decked out in the same mottled 70s look his room is themed, or a carpark dotted with out of state license plates and neglected marquee signage. but there's no cars, no buildings, no outside. just a massive storehouse, stretching up and out beyond what he can see, dimly lit by flickering yellow halogen. snaking lines of track above his head following the catwalk he's standing on, weaving between towers of grafted metal and grey-green storage units stacked like legos. huge. massive. his own room was in a storage box, labeled next to the door.

test subject packed on 11/17/1999 EXP: indefinite ADT SLM M SHRT

short? was he short? well sure maybe by comparison of the super humongous warehouse he was stored in. not a very helpful selection of information, most of which he had already established. a picture would be helpful. a name. a passport. a blockbuster rewards card. literally any brand of identity.

goes back in, shuffling about, looking for something he's not aware of yet. there's a pad of paper in the desk and a cheap ballpoint pen. picks up the pen, but it feels awkward and childish gripped in his hand. moment of panic that he's illiterate, until he swaps the pen to his left. it feels much more natural.

--mirror challenged. am a ghost? --left-handed. evil ghost? --posh penmanship though --orange is not my color --i could do for a tan

pauses thoughtfully.

--who the fuck am i

sound of screeching metal and cracking drywall, urban destruction at its finest. implied shortness a sudden and unexpected gift as something ghosts over his head, ruffling his hair, clipped english accent as a storage crate cranes above him: “--ten thousand flippin' vegetables--” carves a winding trail of destruction as it tears through crates and cables and catwalks before finally coming to an explosive stop, half buried in the far wall.

his own crate tips, agonizingly slow with groaning whale song of careening metal, before momentum and gravity takes it for its own. crash bang boom, gaudy motel mountain ski lodge avalanches into another stack of crates, creating a domino effect. check-out achieved, in more ways than one. leaves him stranded on a creaking catwalk with no more than an ugly jumpsuit, a pad of paper, and more questions then before. he left the pen on the bed. bugger.

picks a direction and walks. periodically checks crates. like his own, all decked out like vintage motels, oil crusted murals and tacky faux-wood paneling. and on every bed is a person. all coated in a fine layer of dust, gray-skin, perfectly preserved but very, very dead. room after room. men, women, children. old young tall short fat skinny. a varied collection of corpses lined up like sleeping porcelain dolls. flippin' vegetables, indeed.

turns a corner and comes face-to-cornea with a massive metal eyeball. yells in surprise. the eyeball screams, then rears back on the rail suspending it. in its backwards attempt at escape, cracks into a closed door where the rail vanishes, and stirs woozily on its axis.

“what's that then. you alright?” he asks, cringing even as he speaks. it feels more obligate social politeness than actual concern; he honestly could not give one flying fuck about its condition. beyond that, asking a metal eyeball of its well-being seems ridiculous, even in light of this entire weird situation, but it—he—chuckles nervously, looking all at once embarrassed and grateful for the inquiry. an impressive emotive feat, considering he's lacking the other 95% of his face.

“sorry, sorry! you startled me! wasn't expecting a human to come waltzing out of nowhere, considering all of them are dead. corpses usually aren't so ambulatory.” the glowing iris slits to a suspicious blue line. “though in your particular case--”

“you're bristonian,” he says, realization dawning.

“no,” the eyeball chided slowly, with a patronizing squint, “i'm a robot.”

“your accent. you talk like you're from bristol. bristonian.” stubbornly. not getting into an argument with a fucking metal orb. “i heard you speak before, back in that warehouse. you're the one who almost ran me down with a crane. who taught you to drive, mr. magoo?”

“hey now! how about some leeway? bit of a limb deficiency here.” the robot waggles its handlebars in demonstration. “i haven't exactly mastered the art of ten-and-two.” sudden realization: “say, you talk like me! i'd say we came from the same development wing, but that's unlikely, you being organic and all that.”

did he now? that hadn't even occurred to him.

he weighs the language on his tongue, the thoughts in his head, parsing through words, foods, spellings, culture. carparks and car boots, wheatabix, man-u, european craft beers, and a strange smug superiority over chirpy, obnoxious californian twang. and of course, a beautiful array of curse words rolling fluid off his tongue. “bloody hell, sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks – oh god, you're right, i'm english too.”

he was a londoner, his accent said as much, though with a sort of languid, unpolished quality that came from excessive travel and extended exile from the mother country. he hadn't been home for a long time. expat? study abroad? he didn't feel like a student, well past adolescence, but he didn't feel like much at all, beyond hopelessly confused.

[dbtrilogy2]

Shut it Down(7)

Mona

Uh school...the hell hole for everyone under law to attend. This place brings me down but it's ok because after school is what important. A game is coming up soon so we have cheer practice. It's an important game at that an away game with our rival school which oddly is the school dad went to. Apparently that's how mom and dad met. Anyway after that me and Stanley are going with mom and the aunts shopping for outfits for uncle Max pre-grand opening. See school is just a holding cell until adults are ready to deal with us again.

"Alright ladies now this practice is very important. We are going to the first away game of the new season and it just so happen to be with those bums downtown." The head rolled her eyes standing in front of us all. "We are gonna practice our team build up cheers and the taunting cheers starting with that one from the freshmans."

She clapped and we all stood getting ready to start stretching. Stanley and I were rocking our Ivy Park gear which by the way is a line coming out by queen B herself. Dad got the hook up and we got some early stuff to flaunt and probably some free promo.

"Cute shorts guys. What's ivy park?" One of the girls asked.

"Oh just a up coming clothing line from someone special." I smirk.

As we are finishing up our stretches the basketball team came in. They whistle at us like little fuck boys.

"Lookin good in those shorts Stanley!" One of them yelled over.

We all giggled at her pink face. The coach came in blowing his annoying whistle having them start their drills just as we start.

"Ok let's do hustle." The captain said.

We get in a straight line facing the team doing the stomp clap combo.

*H-H..HUS..T-T..TLE H-U-S-T-L-E hustle guys hustle hustle cobras hustle!*

"Ok next one let's go!"

*explode-ignite the cobra team is DYNAMITE DYNAMITE we're DYNAMITE we're tick tick tick tick BOOM! DYNAMITE!*

Xdance

We worked on other cheers then ended practice. We changed and wait back in the gym for mom to come pick us up. I was on my phone while Stanley was doing homework. I probably should be but I'll just wait until later it's Friday why rush?

"Sup ladies." Julian came sitting on the seat below us.

"Hey...you stink." He flipped me off which I just smiled at and blew a kiss. He picked up my bag of berry skittles taking some. "Hey stop! What do you want?"

"Just came to see what y'all still doing here for?"

"Mom is picking us up to go shopping for uncle Max restaurant." Stanley told him keeping her eyes on her homework.

"Dope. You look nice Stanley."

Scrunching my face I peak up. He was standing now in front of her smiling all wide and shit. Stanley blushed combing her fingers through her hair.

"T-thanks."

The coach called him back over. When he was far enough I took her folder getting her attention. "What the hell was that?"

"A compliment?"

"Nah don't act like that was a everyday compliment. He bit his lip at you!"

"So? Why you making it a big deal?"

"Maybe because you not only blushed but you did that thing in your hair with your fingers!" I've noticed those two lately and it's starting to look like something. "Does he like you ah do you like him!?"

"What I-I don't know what your talking about...your crazy." She chuckled taking back the folder.

"Oh my god Stanley you do like him! Wait no ew he's your cousin." I stepped down to the seat in front of her.

"Technically he's not...we are not related in anyway." She shrugged making me smile and hit her. "Ow stop!"

"You like him!"

"Could you be any louder?"

"So you do?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't say no either." She peaked up at me. "I knew something was up he always be all extra nice to you oh and he won you that poodle that you suddenly can't sleep peacefully without."

She cover her face clearly blushing. "Can you please stop?"

"Awwwwww this is so cute!"

"Whatever he probably doesn't even like me back."

"Bitch....shut up yes he does. He probably just doesn't know how to tell you guys are weird when they like a girl. When their younger they hit us when their older they act like we're another species."

Sitting back in my seat we watched them run drills or whatever. Julian got the ball doing a bunch of tricks. He stepped to the line looking over quickly then shot letting the net make a sound. Looking back over he points at us. Laughing I shake her.

Mom text us to come out. On the way I catch Sam in the halls.

"Baby!" He looked back chuckling catching me when I ran into his arm. "Why are you here?"

"Debate team it just ended. My brother is here picking me up. Hey Stanley." She waved.

"Oh ok when's your next debate so I can come see you kick ass." We held hands walking out the school.

"I'll let you know. Text me later." He kissed my cheek heading to a car parked in front of mom truck.

A guy leaned on the hood on his phone. He looked up nodding at Sam then looked our way. My eyes widen as I stopped. He smiled licking his lips walking back over to the driver side.

"Mona stop that's a grown man." Stanley hit me.

"So he was eyeing me." I smirk.

"Yeah whatever...jailbait."

"Shut up!"

Camila

"How was school girls?

"Same way it always full of simple book stuff ignorant kids and asshole teachers."

Sighing I look back at Mona while Isabel and Rebecca laughed.

"You are your mothers child." Isabel said patting her head. "I hope you getting good grades tho hate the place all you want without education your just another pretty face."

"Of course I get good grades which is why I stay with haters. They just mad because I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm talented and I got a fat-"

"Mona!" Rebecca and Isabel even Stanley started hollering laughing. "I knew I should've beat you more when you were younger."

"Girl bye you barely laid a hand on any of those kids of yours cause big bad cammy gets all soft when it comes to her kids." Rebecca teased.

"Shut up not everyone enjoys hitting their kids like you psycho mom."

"Hey I'll take that name proudly." She flipped her hair back. "Drive faster damn it!"

"Where are we going anyway what happen to looking for outfits?" Stanley said speaking for the first time since getting in. She's my little shy baby.

"We are but first I'm meeting with someone about my own shop. Then we'll go focus on our outfits for tomorrow night."

"Oh your building you own shop?" Mona looked up from her phone. "Hire me?"

"To do what your fourteen boo?"

"I can do whatever as long as I'm getting paid."

"For what your spoiled ass gets everything from your weak daddy."

"Mom your just as spoiled as me why you always dogging me! We should be bonding from how spoiled we both are." She gave me soft eyes.

"Damn...it's like you were cloned."

"Shut up Rebecca!" We all laughed as I pull up to the empty building. A guy in a suit stood inside walking around.

We all climb out heading inside with her. The guy smiled coming over.

"What beautiful woman you all are. My name is Ted."

"Hi thank you for letting me see the place." Rebecca shook his hand. He smiled holding on for a while.

She chuckled sliding her hand back and started looking around with us. It was a nice space with the the paint beautiful furniture it could be really great.

"I can already see myself getting customers into the changing rooms here and Stanley at the cash register right...here. Aunt becca as you can see I'm planning this whole place myself."

She rolled her eyes telling us how she wants to set everything up. She even has a grand opening party in mind already. Ted hands her a pair of keys and a folder shaking her hand again just not as awkward this time.

"So why are you selling this place?"

"Oh uh it was suppose to be for my fiancé but...she left me for zero was suppose to be my best friend. I bought it for her but she's doesn't deserve it so I'm selling it to get back what I lost."

"Damn." Rebecca and Mona both said.

I slapped Mona head glaring.

"Well sorry to hear that I hope you recover soon and thank you very much for this."

"Oh no problem just make sure I get invited to that grand opening it sounds great."

"Sure of course thank you again."

He showed himself out. We waited until he had pulled off to get at our girl.

"Ay aunt becca...I know someone who likes you!" Stanley teased tickling up her arm.

"Girl bye! He can look all he wants but my husband would beat his ass if he was ever to step out of line...if my husband would learn to take himself away from his work." She sighed rolling her eyes.

"Uh oh Stanley looks like we gotta step out for a second."

"No girls it's ok nothing bad happened. It's just Carlton for some reason grew the thought I would like or approve him working all days at all times just to get gifts here and there. As my husband I just thought he would know me better than that."

"Oh yeah I dealt with this when me and Chris got back together. It was like he was handing me a ribbon box every week and I just had to shit it down. You just have to make sure he gets your not like these gold digging bitches out here you don't need him to buy you thing after thing to keep you happy." I told her.

She locked up the shop then we decided to go across the street to the Starbucks for a quick drink.

"I did and I'm hoping he understood. I'd rather him be home with me and the kids over him being at work just so my wrist can be dripping in ice. I swear I love that man to death but he can be so slow sometimes."

"I think that's all men they just get all dumb when they fall for a woman." Isabel smirk shrugging.

We got in line ready to order. Stanley showed us something called a secret menu so we all ordered from there.

Camila:21. caramel snickerdoodle macchiato Isabel:warm sugar cookie Rebecca:butterbeer frappuccino Stanley:fuzzy peach tea Mona:raspberry cheesecake latte

Once we got them and we're ready to leave we noticed flashes. It was like we all thought the same thing and groan all together.

"Hello ladies you all look beautiful." One of the camera men said walking in front of us.

"Thank you." I smiled pulling my shades out and on.

"What is this a family day for just the ladies?" Another asked.

"Something like that." Isabel answered.

"How's school for you two young ladies?"

"As great as it'll get." Mona answered for them both.

"So Rebecca you are a designer mom of two with a producer and designer husband, Camila is a dancer mom of six with a do everything husband...Isabel the teacher mom of two what does your man do?"

"He's a chef in fact he will be having a big pre-grand opening for his own restaurant tomorrow which everyone should be at." She smiled.

"Nice plug there supporting you man...nice. So uh Camila news is your working with an artist signed to Chris label Beats Records named Robin?"

"Yeah in order to get some buzz going on her song coming out soon I'll be doing choreography to the song."

"Ok so you supporting the artist or your husband?"

"Um both...she has a uh interesting voice and style of music." I sighed finally reaching the car.

"Oh good to know one of you is nice. Not sure if you knew but she was asked about you doing this and according to her it's more a privilege to you."

I climb in starting up the car waiting for the rest of them to get in. "Oh really?"

"Yeah she tweeted how she's afraid you might not be able to live up to your older work now."

"Mhm ok thanks for that have a nice day." I pull off quick. "I hate sneaky bitches!"

"Ay this chick went on a interview!" Mona yelled. "Ma turn on the blue tooth."

"So being that you are on the label of Christopher Washington have you been able to meet his wife the wonder dancer?"

She laughed. "Um wonder dancer? I will say Camila is amazing I am a fan but I mean come on it's been a while and she has six kids now the two youngest probably aren't even potty trained yet. That's no shade or anything but my song Work is up beat it's a get turnt up I don't want it to be to much for her."

I chuckled hitting the wheel. People have been leaving me the hell alone letting me do what I do!

"See this is why I use to be that bitch somebody always testing me and when I get at they neck...suddenly I'm the crazy one!?"

I dropped of Rebecca and Isabel at their homes then took me and my girls home.

"Don't even listen to that trick ma you still got it." Stanley winked nudging me.

It was about time to start on dinner before Chris and the other got here but I'm still tripping. This bitch out there trynna make people doubt me because I done got a little older and had more kids but that hasn't changed a thing. This dance about to shut everybody the hell up hopefully for good.

@FirstLadyW:five kids later age ain't nothin but a number #haterswillcallphotoshop