#If anyone actually read this you have won my heart forever

[bumblefruit-ahhh]

When you spend an hour writing a conversation from the alternate universe of your own writing, then spend several more hours doodling the characters. In order to avoid writing an essay :3

Conversation dump down below!

After a beat of silence, Asher was still unsure if he would find a knife in his chest very soon. Lillian was certainly good at this game of poker they had been playing. Shadows shifted across her face as she turned to him. 

“Lord Asher, you recall Agent Celser.” 

“Golden Boy.”

A weary sigh leaked out of her. “It’s rumored he orchestrated the eight latest peninsular assasinations, but so far not a speck of dirt has been found on him.” Lillian tilted her glass towards a woman in a long red coat with a matching feathered hat in her hair. “Madam Selista? She spent eighteen years infiltrating the entirety of the Tahierian Islands. We have grips upon every governmental official that matters in those countries. If anyone moves without our say so, they’re found floating facedown under a bridge the next morning. Agent Everheart has left fire after fire as she and her men — if you can call them that — win region after region in the name of peace. And yet in the presence of some of the most powerful Gray Heart agents, you still have enough boldness to admit what they have cost you? These dogs have teeth, dear.”

“Surely I am not the only one who has lost things to this pseudo-organization. Let others sympathize with me if they wish.”

“Would you be bold enough to tell my uncle what you have just told me?”

“I suspect the reason we have been knee deep in flowers and cake testing, Miss Hart, is not because he simply enjoys my sparkling personality and charming company.” Lord Asher flashed her a glinting smile. “Your uncle has to keep all these dogs muzzled after all.”

“Lord Asher, you’re adapting to Gray Heart politics, reading him so well.”

“Well, if you can dig up dirt on everyone in this room, you can start to see connections between Gideon Hart’s right hands.”

“Oh? Even on Agent Celser?”

“Agent Celser, I’m afraid to say of Gray Heart’s  dreamboat, is currently embroiled in intense affairs with several of Gideon’s staff in an attempt to steal his throne. Silesta? She has started a smear campaign and two failed revolutions, which have both fueled her power in Tahierian governments.” Lord Asher plucked the glass from her flinders and took a sip. “And Miss Everheart… Well, besides being one of the surviving people personally responsible for the Fall, any person that you take an interest in would be first target for your uncle.”

“How astute.”

Hmm, her poker face was slipping. Perhaps she still wanted to stab him after all. 

“Oh, dear, I’m terribly sorry, Miss Hart. I seemed to have opened a box which violates our ‘this partnership will only work if neither of us talks about our feelings’ contract.” 

Lillian was harder to read than most people — most of the time. But as Lillian looked at Agent Everheart, with fierce protectiveness set upon her face, Lord Asher understood why Gideon had sent Agent Everheart to the frontlines. She was dangerous — not because of what she’s done — but because of what she could drive Lillian to do. 

Lillian composed herself with a wave of her hand. “Don’t apologize for something so true. Asha Everheart should have died a long time ago by his standards. He likes to bring that point up at certain times, just to make family dinners and agent reports awkward.”

“She seems just the person to introduce me to next, then. If she still has a little fight in her, that is.”He refilled the glass to the brim and offered it with a smirk. “To keep the broken bits a little less sharp.”

Lillian snatched it with a heavy sigh. “I’m going to need this for the rest of tonight.”

“Ah, so I’ve discovered the method of winning your affection. I can’t wait to have an alcoholic for a partner.”

“Oh, only I do this so you don’t feel lonely, dear.”

[slamrink]

klay 0 points but he looked sexygorgeous doing it + lockdown defense + mavs WIN and dubs clinch so im leaving here with something 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[hazbin-a-helluvamagines]

Hello! I love the idea of a platonic! yandere! Lucifer Morningstar that treats the reader basically like his adopted child. I would like to see some headcanons on this dynamic!

-🦊♦️

"My Child" ; Lucifer Morningstar

Okay, so first off. Have you seen this man? Absolute daddy material. So soft, so playful, so silly, so gentle, so caring. Literally the opposite of what you'd expect from the literal devil.

I'd imagine you're definitely probably a fallen angel or someone who he's able to see a piece of himself in. Maybe you were thrown out of your family for new ideas and free thinking. Maybe you're a fallen angel. Hell, maybe he just spotted you feeding some ducks. Just as soon as you've managed to make him empathize, you've won his heart.

He'd ask why you're not with your parents. If you don't tell him why, but mention that you have none or yours are bad, he'd sigh and continue speaking to you as normal, offering you a place in the palace with him at the end of the conversation. If you told him why, he'd immediately offer to take you in. He couldn't just leave a child to struggle and fend for themselves on the streets of Hell. That'd be a death sentence for a poor, innocent child.

Once you're there, he'd do absolutely everything to make you feel welcome. His little cherub shouldn't be expected to do anything, they should be able to just relax and feel comfort in a home that was now theirs.

He'd definitely introduce you to Charlie shortly after, and she absolutely adores you, both because you're a cute kid and because there's finally someone to keep her very lonely man of a father company in his huge palace.

If you were ever to ask about Lilith, he'd just smile sadly and try to make some excuse that'd both give you hope while not lying to you.

"Mommy is... out right now. But maybe she'll come back one day."

He'd make ducks of you... a lot of them. A creepy amount, actually. But who could blame him? You're his second chance to be a father right!! He can't lose that! He wants to show you how much he loves you and spend as much time as possible with you!

Lullabies and bedtime stories. Every night. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Cute ones like The Ugly Duckling (Lucifer's favorite), Bearenstain Bears, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, or a cute little pop-up book.

Takes pictures. A lot of pictures. Every day. Of the most mundane things. Just playing with your toys? Picture. Trying to read? Picture? Tried and failed at cooking? Too bad, that's a picture in the scrapbook now.

He'd be legitimately confused if you ever asked him to stop and said you weren't comfortable with it.

"But why, Y/N? You're such a cute little duckling! They're only for personal memories, I won't show them to anyone!"

By that, he means he'll both show them and gush to anyone that will listen to his ranting about you.

He just wants you to know he loves you and never question his adoration for you. :(

He'd try to keep you in the palace... possibly forever. After all, he's already had one person he loved leave seemingly just out of nowhere, he doesn't want to risk you just deciding you're done with him and abandoning him one day, too.

So he has to be by your side.

He HAS to.

Forever.

He has nothing to live for if he isn't.

[magics-neptunes-things]

One Love (5)

Hi guys!

This is another part from my Luna's serie, One Love. It's from some request of some of them, please don't hesitate to ask me if you want something :)

(1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8)

______________________________________________________________

“Are you writing to Lucy again?!”

Laia’s voice makes Ona almost jump, not expecting her best friend to be as close as she is right now. In fact, she’s sitting in the armchair next to Ona.

“What the hell Laia” Ona grumbles, not answering her question.

Because of course she was. Can anyone blame her? When she’s at home, she has her girlfriend next to her almost every second of the day. Now they are apart for more than ten days and it feels like hell.

“Of course she is” Salma grins, sitting on the other side of Ona.

Ona rolls her eyes, answering to Lucy’s text anyway, making the two other girls smile at each other. They both love Ona, they are actually very fond of seeing her friend as happy as Ona seems to be.

“And you just see how much she is writing to her. You don’t have her looking at Lucy with her heart eyes all day” Salma add.

She’s still smirking, laughing when Ona raises on her a dirty glare.

“I don’t have heart eyes for her all day.”

“Don’t worry, I think it’s cute. I’m sure Lucy thinks the same thing.”

Ona hit Salma’s shoulder this time. She wanted to go for her head, but the striker change wisely her position to be as far as Ona as possible.

“Don’t be like that, Onita. You know that we are actually very happy for you.”

Ona rolls her eyes one more time, unable to hide her smile. She is happy, she even said it in one interview the other day. She doesn’t like to talk about her private life and she didn’t gave any indication about her love for Lucy, but she still said that she is happy. Ona knows that Lucy had read the interview.

“I am happy” Ona mumbles, laying on Laia shoulder while sticking out her thong to Salma.

The younger woman snorts at Ona.

“You never fight?” Laia asks with curiosity.

Ona shakes her head honestly. She knows that only a few people would believe her, after all Lucy and her have both a strong head. But they decided very soon in her relationship to favor discussions.

“That’s true” says Salma. “I’ve never heard one of them talking bad at the other.”

“We only had one fight to be honest.” Ona says thoughtfully.

“What was it about?”

********

Ona doesn’t know how this fight has started, to be honest. They were at the game this afternoon, they won and even if Lucy received a yellow card, it was a good game. After the fans’ meeting and the shower, they went home. Ona was hopping to eat some sushi, cuddle with her girlfriend and their dogs before falling asleep in front of a movie they will take forever to choose.

But it seems like everything went wrong. Lucy was kind of moody when they left the stadium and even if Ona asked her several times what was happening, she only had the answer “I’m fine.”. But Lucy wasn’t, she kept looking right in front of her while driving, not even looking one time at her girlfriend.

The small talk that Ona tried to make wasn’t working either. She just putted some music on and kept looking by the window. Unlike she usually did, Lucy doesn’t open her the car door and even if Ona was saying at first that she can do it herself, she started liking when Lucy does it.

When Lucy plops on her sofa without looking at her, scrolling on her phone with a tightened jaw, it was too much for Ona. She hates fighting, she always tries to find a way to make things better for everyone without having a beef. But right now, it’s too much.

“Lucy?”

No answer.

“Lucy!”

Still no answer. And Ona takes a big breath before walking in her direction to snatch her phone from her hand.

“Can you at least answer me?!”

“Give me my phone back.”

Lucy’s tone is cold, and Ona hates it. But she stands her ground, hiding the phone behind her back. Of course, she knew that Lucy would get mad. But a least she maybe will tell her what the hell is happening.

“No. Talk to me, what’s happening?”

“Nothing Ona, for God’s sake! Give me my phone back!”

The English woman raise her voice and Ona flinch while the dogs hurry to leave the living room. Lucy doesn’t mean to snap at her girlfriend who only seems to want to make things better. But she’s stubborn, hate to talk about her feelings and she’s tired. And mad, but Ona still doesn’t know why.

“Stop acting like a moody teenager Lucy, talk to me please.”

But Lucy thought that it was too late. The fight has already started, Ona is already pissed and herself is already boiling inside. So, she gets up from the couch, passing next to her girlfriend to go to the kitchen.

“You know what? Go to hell.” she mumbles.

In a typical teenage fashion. Feeling that her composure is starting to break, Ona closes her eyes for some seconds and takes a big, silenced breath.

“I don’t understand what is happening, Luce.”

“Why don’t you go ask your best friend? Or is she already gone back to San Sebastian?”

The answer came but it’s nothing that Ona was thinking about. She needs some more seconds, but this time it was to figure out what it was about.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Her best friend is Laia Aleixandri who is definitively at Manchester right now. So, there is no way that Lucy is talking about her and why the hell would Laia makes in their relationship problems? Her and Lucy went along great.

“Oh please.” Lucy is in the kitchen, looking at her through the opening of the door and she raises her voice again. “Don’t tell me it was nothing, I saw the way you hug each other. Everyone else saw it.”

Ona is so surprised that she wants to laugh. Thanks god, her rational part tells her that it’s maybe not the right thing to do.

“She’s a friend. We played together at la Misa when we were younger.”

Lucy snorts and answer something like “Yeah sure” and that makes Ona gone mad too. She knows that her girlfriend is mad, but her cockiness starts to get on her nerves. Especially when the English woman doesn’t make any move to try to make things better between them.

It was this time Ona’s turn to shout.

“Who do you think I am exactly? It was a damn hug Lucy, not a making out session!”

Lucy bites her tongue hard to not answer at that. She knows that otherwise; she will answer things that she doesn’t think and that she will hurt Ona. And even if she’s mad about that girl, the yellow card and almost everything, she doesn’t want to hurt the younger girl.

But Lucy’s silence wasn’t helping, and Ona assumes what everyone would assume.

“Glad to learn how you think about me.”

She was cold too, now hurt. She feels her tears coming and there is no way that Lucy sees her like this. Ona hates being angry because she always ends crying and losing all her credits. So she goes to the bathroom, slamming the door for good measure.

“Shit” sights Lucy, pinching her nose.

********

During the next hour, there is almost no sound in the flat. Ona stayed in the bathroom and then in the bedroom. She regrets her choice, because everything smells like Lucy and remember her their fight. This is their first real fight, they had misunderstood or disagreements, but never that way.

She cried a little (a lot) and after that she used some cold water to make her face a little less red and puffy. After that she was hopping to be able to have some cuddles with her dog, but Coco is nowhere to be found. She frowns when she calls him one time and a second without him coming running like crazy.

She hesitates to go find him, but after twenty minutes, she stands slowly from the bed. When she’s lying on it, he will run to her to cuddle with her. They make the dogs sleep in the living room so every second stolen with one of them on the bed is precious to him.

“Coco?” she calls again at the door of the room.

She waits and listen to any sound indicating the dog’s arrival, but still nothing. At first Ona thinks that he might be angry at her too and she almost cry again. But she thinks better and goes discreetly to the living room. She perks in the room carefully, not wanting for Lucy to see her. Narla is curling against her Mama’s tight, but there is no sight of Coco.

So she goes to the bathroom, to the entry, to the guest room and the kitchen. But still no Coco. And Ona starts to get really worried. Her last chance is the balcony, but she has to cross the living room to go to it. Sighing, she decided to ignore Lucy’s presence, still very mad at her. And hurt, too maybe. Anyway, she really doesn’t want to talk to her right now.

She feels Lucy gaze following her when she crosses the room but doesn’t look at her. Coco isn’t on the balcony and Ona isn’t far for a break down. She sniffs while closing the balcony’s door and that’s what alert Lucy.

“What are you looking for?”

Lucy’s voice returned to her normal tone and Ona takes a shacky breath before answering.

“I can’t find Coco” she mumbles without looking at her.

“What do you mean you can’t find Coco?” Lucy frowns.

“I can’t find Coco Lucy, what don’t you understand?” she shouts, losing it and turning to Lucy. “What do you want me to say? I enjoy touching other women in public and I’m not even able to take care the dog you offered me.”

Lucy has never seen Ona like this. Her red and puffy eyes are full of tears, some of them running freely on her cheeks. She’s shouting again, and Lucy feels her heart crack. She stands from the couch, Narla looking at them from it.

Coco is a gift from Lucy to Ona, that’s right. She gave him to Ona for their ten month’s anniversary  but it was honestly only a pretext. Ona had always told her how much she missed the dog she had when she was younger and that she never took another one because she wasn’t at home enough. And at Manchester it wouldn’t have made any sense because she was looking to come back to Barcelona soon.

“He can’t be far away.” she says, making Ona shrugs.

Lucy’s voice is soft now, she fully regrets the fight they had sooner, her behavior and the way she talked to Ona. She doesn’t know how the Spaniard would react to a physical touch from her, but she decides to try anyway. Fingers crossed, she softly takes Ona by the hand before taking her against her to hug her. She breaths again when Ona immediately cuddles against her, hiding her face in her neck.

“Come on. I’ll help you to look at him ok?”

The younger girl nod and follows Lucy in the same rooms that she was before. They finish by the bedroom, but Lucy has to admit that the dog isn’t here too.

“I’ll go take the biscuits” Ona mumbles.

Coco’s weakness. If the dog is in the flat, he will come running. Lucy sighs and sits on the bed, looking at the tissues Ona used to dry her tears with culpability. That’s when she hears a little sound, coming from under the bed. Frowning, she gets up from it to lay down on the floor and looking under the bed. She’s now facing Coco eyes, looking at her.

“Ona? He’s here”

Two seconds later, Ona is in the bedroom with the biscuits’ packet in her hand. With precaution she makes Coco get out from under the bed, before hugging him tight in her arms, her nose in his hairs.

“Why where you hiding here?” she whispers while to dog is licking at her hands.

He licks her face too, making her grimacing. Ona hates when he does it, but he loves it. Lucy can only smile in front of Ona’s face and the way Coco looks at the biscuits with interest. Ona gives him one and Coco takes it before leaving for the living room, leaving the two women alone.

Ona’s small smile fades and she gets up to follow her dog, but Lucy catches her hand before.

“Ona, wait please” the English woman says. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I was jealous, and stupid and I wasn’t thinking straight. Can you please forgive me?”

Ona rubs her eyes before sighing softy. She’s exhausted to be honest, there was a little too many emotions to deal with for only one night.

“Why in the world would I go for someone else in front of you?”

“I was jealous Ona, that’s all. It was stupid of myself. I’m really sorry.”

“But I don’t understand. We are together almost every second of the day and you know that it’s a torture when we are apart. Why are you jealous? I’m yours, no one else.”

Lucy sighs and sits on the bed, not really fond of the idea of having this discussion now, but she can’t escape it. Not when she had that kind of behavior, not answering wouldn’t be fair to Ona.

“I don’t know. She has your age, doesn’t have constant surgery to fix her knee and she will be playing as long as you. The life we have now won’t last forever, but it would be longer if I was younger.”

Frowning, Ona sits on the bed next to Lucy.

“I know it won’t last forever, but we will have other things to live together after that. I don’t care about your age Lucy, I never had. And I never will. I fell in love with Lucia, not Lucy Bronze the amazing football player.”

Lucy rolls her eyes with a smirk, but Ona’s answer is good to hear. Ona could literally have any other girl if she wanted to, it sometimes doesn’t make sense for the English woman that she chooses to stay with her.

“You didn’t answer me before…”

“About what?” Ona asks, tilting her head.

“Can you forgive me?”

She’s biting her bottom lip, looking at Ona with her eyes full of sincerity and somehow a little of fear? Ona isn’t sure but she only needs to look at her girlfriend for some seconds before answering.

“I forgive you. But you have to talk to me when something isn’t right, Love. I don’t want to fight like this again.”

“I promise” Lucy answers, reaching for her girlfriend.

Ona lean in and Lucy envelops her immediately with her arm. Closing her eyes, she breaths Ona’s sent before hiding her face in the younger one’s hair.

“I’m sorry I made you cry” Lucy mumble against Ona’s hair.

Ona hums softly, before looking up at her.

“Kiss me better?”

Lucy laughs, not regretting slightly having learned this expression to Ona in the beginning of their relationship. Ona knows when using it very well. The dark-haired woman kiss Ona’s lips softly several times, keeping her tight against her. She kisses her face soon after, very part of it, punctuating her kisses with “I love you”.

Some minutes after, she has a giggling Ona in her arms, and she feels her heart melt. Ona is her miracle, coming in her life when she felt like everything was falling apart. Ona flipped her world upside down, but everything makes sense since Her. She can’t lose her.

********

“Even your fights are cute. I’ve never felt so single in my life” Salma sighs, making the two others girl laughs.

A notification from her phone makes Ona’s hand vibrate and the Catalan girl looks at it. It’s a notification from Instagram, Lucy apparently just posted a picture.

“Holy fuck” Ona mumbles while looking at it.

Lucy, looking straight to the camera, her hair down and arm in full display. She knows very well what she’s doing, Ona mentioning yesterday night during their phone call how she’s still destabilized sometimes when Lucy looks at her so intensely. Without thinking, she likes the pictures and received a teasing text from Lucy almost right after.

“Such a tease” Ona mumbles to herself, before looking at her friends again. “Can I have your opinion about something?”

********

Lucy is taking her breakfast, like almost always with her headphones and her music on. Some girls say she is asocial, but she needs that to be in a good shape for the rest of the day. She was sipping at her coffee when she received a notification from Ona.

And she spits her coffee.

“What the hell mate?”

She raises her face on Lauren James in front of her, without answering anything and looks back at her phone. She doesn’t hear LJ groans something about being aggressive soon in the morning, only focused on Ona’s message. Or picture, she just sent her.

A mirror selfie isn’t something rare for Ona, but a mirror selfie with almost nothing on her, it’s like a first.

From Lucy What the hell You’re killing me

From Ona Just thought it would be fair to thanks you for you picture yesterday. Too bad it wasn’t only for me though.

Lucy answered something after that, but she doesn’t take her chance to answer her for now. It’s hard to say which one of the two really started this war, but it has been a ping pong of photos and video, by messages or Instagram sometimes. The fans don’t seem to understand what was really happening, but Lucy and Ona did. And they can say that they have fun.

Several days later, Lucy is waiting for Ona in their house. They came back from the camp, Lucy being earlier even if she was literally in another country. They have to take back their dogs from Ona’s parents, but they will go tomorrow. Right now, honestly, Lucy doesn’t want anything but cuddle with her girlfriend.

Ona arrives at the end of the afternoon, looking a little tired but the smile she puts on her face when she spots Lucy waiting for her in the entrance is beautiful. She lets her bags fall on the floor, raise her hand to put them around Lucy’s neck when she comes for her and let her hugs her. And make her levitate a little, making her giggle.

“I missed your laugh” Lucy smile against her neck, hugging her even harder. “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too” Ona mumble back.

Then Lucy puts her back on the ground and kisses her right on the lips, several time, before Ona tightens her hold around her neck to keep her against her. Lucy smiles against her lips but let her, letting herself enjoying their reunion.

“It’s great to have you in front of me for real and not in a teasing picture” Lucy smirks, some minutes later, when they are cuddling on their sofa.

“It was your fault. You started it” Ona rolls her eyes.

“Me?! I haven’t done anything! You started with your almost naked picture.”

Ona snorts and raise her eyebrow, making Lucy laughs slightly. But she doesn’t want to abdicate so soon, so she shrugs.

“What?”

“I know what. You posted that amazing picture of yourself the day before that.”

“It was just a casual picture. Not my fault if you fancy me as much.”

The sassy comment makes Ona try to hit her, but Lucy is faster and grabs her hands. With it, she takes Ona closer to her, smirking again.

“I love that you fancy me, though.”

She tries to kiss her, but Ona turns her face to make her lips kiss her cheeks instead.

“Ona” Lucy frowns.

But it was Ona’s turn to be sassy, turning her head at the last moment when Lucy try to kiss her again and again.

“Come on, just kiss me” she whines at her fourth attempt.

“Who’s the one fancying the other now?” Ona smirks.

Lucy sighs excessively, knowing that she won’t have the last word this time. Rolling her eyes, she pouts while talking.

“Ok I fancy you too. And maybe I posted this picture to tease you. May I have my kiss now?”

“Yes, you can.”

Ona laughs, making Lucy smiles, before she leans in to kiss her. Lucy is right, after all the teasing and the being away thing, being together again is the best feeling ever.

[dirtytransmasc]

How would tonowari help with spider? What activities would they do together

@windhashirapiller this also answers you're ask

he's the stoic dad, so I think a lot of his love language is quiet personal time; walks on the shoreline, under the stars, one arm around his kid, telling stories from his past. watching spider sleep, one hand in his hair, nothing but love and bliss on his face. being the dad spider looks to when he's looking for recognition or admiration, and tonowari is always there to give him the proud dad smile.

very defensive of spider, but unlike ronal, instead of being an aggressive force that will make threats anytime anywhere, he is a daring and formidable force that stands behind him, daring anyone to bring harm to his boy.

when they first adopt spider he's the one to have The Talk with him. in my mind they adopt him after the neglect causes him to do harm to himself (he overworks himself, ignores his needs; he doesn't eat, doesn't drink, doesn't sleep. its when his body eventually goes out that tonowari and ronal step in), so spider is already on edge, physically and emotionally on edge, and trauma responding (pushing people away, getting aggressive to shield his weakness, expecting the worst of each and every interaction). so tonowari has to sit there and try to explain to this terrified kid, that he deserves better, that he is loved (despite feeling unlovable), that they want him. he has to console this scared child who has never truly known love. that night has forever scarred the great metakyina chief, just thinking about the look in his child's face, brings tears to his eyes. he's vowed to never, not even over his dead body, let spider feel like that ever again.

I think him being the stoic dad verbally, makes him the much more physical dad. he's always cupping spider's chin, embracing him, pressing their foreheads together (technically mask and forehead).

he speaks through his eyes, and spider has learned to read him like a book. there's always so much love and awe on his face.

he learns spider's favorite things; favorite foods, favorite types of beads for his jewelry making, favorite plants for his paints, etc. and he brings them to spider without him asking.

he was cautious with saying "I see you" or calling him son cause he knew spider had a complicated relationship with all his past father figures. when he adopts spider he does it knowing he may never bee his father in spiders heart (if anyone has seen the dragon prince, think callum and harrow; both want to be father/son so badly it is palpably painful, yet due to simple miscommunications, neither is aware of this, and actually think both parties want the opposite). so when the dam finally breaks (maybe spider gets hurt and tonowari can't contain his worry, or spider is desperate for any sort of paternal affection and he just flips out and clings to tonowari) it's devastating (but sorta in the best way possible). you'd think they're a father and son reuniting after the most trying of separations; big fat tears from both sides, tonowari won;t put spider down, spiders clinging to his father like he's gonna disappear. after that, tonowari never stops telling spider he sees him, that he loves him, that he is his son.

I have to say it, tonowari is a fishing dad, he takes spider hunting on the skimwing, just the two of them.

like ronal, he has many beads on his song chord for spider, but they are much more frequent. out of all of things in his life, nothing compares to his children. they keep him sane amongst all the duties of being chief, and with the circumstances that surround spider, its even more true. he finds any reason to add more and more beads for his children, especially spider, so when he reflects on this time in his life, it doesn't seem so bad.

he will play dumb so spider has the opportunity to teach him, he likes hearing how his son talks about things, how he thinks, and he loves the confidence it gives spider to teach someone else. Sometimes he genuinely learns things, other times he gains a new perspective; but no matter the case, its builds spider up, makes him more likely to speak within the village. (spider has adhd in my mind, and I know tonowari indulges every infodump that kid gives him, no matter how well he knows what he's talking about)

he takes spider under his wing just as he did ao'nung; he teaches him to rule, to think for the village, to be a good diplomat. he teaches the boys to work together to solve conflicts because if he gets his way, if all goes well, ao'nung will become chief with spider as his right-hand man so to speak. his boys futures are of the utmost priority to him.

[fridayth13]

OP!!!!! I loved your fic with Satan reading to MC so much, and I was wondering if you could do a fluffy fic of a confession with Leviathan? Like, they’re playing games together and MC wins and Levi just impulsively smooches em, something like that! It’s up to you ofc how you want it to happen but your writing is so EEEEEE!!!!

Tysm!! -🐝

again and again and again.

↳ leviathan × gn!reader

↳ genre: fluff | wordcount: 500+ | warnings: surprise kiss, leviathan being cringe (affectionate), mayybe ooc??, intended to be romantic but it's not explicit so if you want him to kiss you on the mouth in any context go right ahead 👍

↳ notes: hiiii you have no idea how happy your comment makes me okay 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 my crops are watered my skin is clear my day is made etc etc etc,, i hope you enjoy this one just as much ^^

it was no secret that leviathan liked you. a lot. the best indicator of this fact was his exhilaration whenever you won a game with him.

whether or not you were on his team, all levi could hope to do was cheer whenever you beat one of his brothers on devil kart. just ask beel, or mammon, or satan, they read his congratulations for you like a book. or maybe that was more on the fact that every time they won anything on his team, he'd be quick to tack on the oh-so-familiar murmur of, "that could've been me but whatever."

hells, even now as you played against him, levi was still kind of rooting for you to win. not that he was going easy on you, of course. he had some semblance of his gamer pride left. but although it should technically be telling him to crush you underfoot once and for all, well—

you threw the controller down into your lap with glee.

"i won!"

levi's controller was dropped in a similar fashion. "you won!"

"i won!" you cheered, pointing at him with a grin brighter than the sun. "take that, levi!"

no, this was so not fair actually. how in the devildom could levi ever be mad at you for gloating at him when you looked at him like that????

how was he supposed to focus on the fact that you beat him at all when— ohhh, hey, was your face always this close?

was his heart always beating this fast?

(what was this, a dating sim??? sheesh, levi get a grip.)

your radiance was no secret to anyone who met you, but have you always been this blinding? has your smile always been so brilliant? the sheer enthusiasm in your cheers and hollers sent levi directly into shock.

you were unlike everything he's ever dreamed of. somehow.. somehow, you managed to be better.

he didn't even notice his hands coming up to your cheeks. not until he'd closed his eyes and his lips found yours.

now, levi has lived to tell the tale of his first kiss with you, however, he never would tell anyone in the first place. he wished he could say he swept you off your feet with the perfect kiss and that you melted in his arms, and everything went perfectly (...like in the dating sims..) except, no.

it did not.

his teeth clacked with yours from the sudden impact. he had to resist the urge to cringe along with the sheer whiplash of his own actions.

that wasn't to say he didn't enjoy it. your lips were so soft and he would happily drown himself in the feeling forever and ever until he died, but he digressed.

his face was still tomato-red when he pulled away. levi knew words were tumbling out of his mouth, but he had no idea what he was saying, what he was doing with his hands, and—

you put a finger on his lips to shush him.

it worked.

for a moment, you just stared at him. but before levi could fully throw himself into panic mode, you slowly placed your hand back into your lap.

"....can we try that again?" you asked, eyes sparkling.

"............okay."

dividers from @clutteredfun

[mrsnerdygirl]

When I started reading the “harry Potter” books , my first favorite characters was Ginny, and now she is forever in my heart . I hate it when people do not understand her . She was the iT girl , beautiful and what not , but she was also a teenager that went through a lot . I hate it when fans forget what she went through , and while the books were focused on Harry , people shouldn’t forget that she nearly died and got possessed all because of her first ever friend . I am the youngest and while I don’t have as many siblings as she does , I can understand how lonely she feels . Ginny’s favorite brother was Bill and I think that the reason behind that is because the oldest always treat you somehow better, and you just really like that , but as you grow older , you feel even worse because now you wanna do things and like things that probably no one in the family wants you to. This girl literally had to sneak out and get the brooms of her older brothers and teach herself how to fly , because no one in the family allowed her too .I don’t think that her crush om Harry really says much about her , though people like to look into it . Ginny simply finds it hard to move on , probably has attachment issues , which I understand, because me too. I hate to think that some fans see her as a love interest, because she is actually important to the plot . I defiantly think that she was out casted in her second year , and I would love to hear about how she started being so popular . In her third year , she started changing little by little ,and maybe it was then that she started being more sociable and started hanging out with people . We see that she became friends with Neville , and went with him to the Yule Ball . Also during these chapters I think that we see more to Ginny . She had a chance to go with Harry, her crush , but didn’t go with him so to not reject Neville and make him feel bad . It was around this time that Hermione gave Ginny her very smart boy advice “try being yourself around Harry , go out with other people “ , which we see Ginny do , and it resulted in her being less shy around him . In order of the phoenix , Ginny was the only one who wasn’t scared to tell Harry to stop being such an asshole . I can’t explain why , but maybe it was just her energy , though harry didn’t mind opening up to her about how he felt in that chapter in which they shared chocolate (Moony would be proud), on the library talking about how lost Harry felt and how he needed to speak to Sirius . Ginny handles a bunch of grown up death eaters like a champion and walks around with a broken leg , without once complaining . When Harry tried to keep her safe at school she wasn’t scared to show him off again for treating her like she was fragile .After Sirius’ death she didn’t walk around Harry like he could break , but just like last year , she was calm and playful . She broke up with her boyfriend of a year because he didn’t appreciate her like he needed to , and then got herself another one right back . Blaze Zabini , a popular and rich Slytherin had a crush on her , and while he never did anything about it , I think it showed exactly how pretty and well known she was (also let’s not forget Victor Krum finding her attractive and wanting to ask her out ). Her best skill was Quidditch , and she could play amazingly in more than one position . She made the team twice , which meant that from everyone there she was the best , and won in each match . She played as seeker twice , both times were the finals , and won the cup , and then became a professional player in her dream team .

In her sixth year we see her defend Luna and Neville because she hated bullies and these two were her best friends . The fact that she could be friends with anyone and yet was closest to “the weirdoes of the school” , means a lot to me.

She fought in the battle of Hogwarts , and handled the school year like a champion . Another thing I love about her is how understanding she is towards Harry and how cute the fact that even though they broke up they still supported each other . She survived Bellatrix Lestrange’s attacks , and was a very good dueler , as well as a powerful witch .

There is so much to her character , that would take me too long to analyze , but overall the idea is that Ginny Weasley needs to be appreciated more for what she has done through the books , because without her we wouldn’t have some amazing moments .

Happy Birthday , to the icon herself !

[socialfakes]

start to finish- milo manheim

[milo won the poll so here it is. also, this social media thing is runoff from a fic i was working on back when i had my iphone so the'y/n' in this situation is 'abby'. enjoy! ps; reads better on desktop]

Liked by megdonnelly and 199,207 others

milomanheim | we like dancing in the rain 🕺🏻

view all 548 comments

megdonnelly this > anything 😊

defaultedabby wow the timer finally worked for you? | milomanheim yeah, finally 🤣

jspencermac she’s a keeper 😉 | defaultedabby you’re a keeper ❤️

fanuser1 who is this, milo? We need to know 😫

fanuser2 NEW RELATIONSHIP ALERT?!?!

curlysuede you and who? Who is this?  | milomanheim my best friend, of course

Liked by milomanheim and 312 others

defaultedabby | celebrating a special day today so i thought y’all should get to see the most adorable photo in the world milomanheim happy birthday bubs. i looooove you 🥰

view all 17 comments

milomanheim so happy i get to celebrate with you every year. you’re the best 😊

fanuser3 he’s a cutie

milosbiggestfan milo my love. you’re luckyto be his friend. i’d give anything for that

manheimfan wow what a cutie

megdonnelly he used to be cute. What happened? 😂 | defaultedabby he became handsome  | milomanheim yeah. and now i’m sexy, right? 😉

jspencermac that’s the face of someone who certainly knows how to get what he wants 😂  | milomanheim well who could say no 😂😂  | defaultedabby ^ 👍🏻

Liked by jspencermac and 714 others

defaultedabby | 🍕🥰 milomanheim

view all 38 comments

milomanheim rather have pizza with my squid than with anyone else 🥰

megdonnelly the greatest duo there ever was 😂  | defaultedabby i disagree. i believe you and i are superior 😉  | milomanheim rude ^  | megdonnelly awe i think you hurt his feelings

fanuser4 how is he so cute???  | defaultedabby 🤷🏻‍♀️

jspencermac this trip was fun  | defaultedabby still got lots of pizzerias to try 😊

Liked by milomanheim and 412 others

defaultedabby | quite literally the most perfect person in the world & an even more perfect prom date 🥰 milomanheim

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fanuser5 are you guys dating or something? it really seems like it 🤔  | milomanheim no we are not. i can assure you  | defaultedabby no we are not. i can guarantee you

megdonnelly perfect prom AND prawn date 😂😉

milomanheim why did you crop yourself out of the pic?  | defaultedabby needed to focus on the perfection here and i looked weird in the pic  | milomanheim false. you never look weird  | jspencermac i agree with milo  | defaultedabby ❤❤

fanuser6 well hello there 😉

zaddisonforlife damn

fanuser7 hottie alert!

Liked by defaultedabby and 214,508 others

milomanheim | christmas with squid 🐙🥰 defaultedabby

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jspencermac she’s a beaut, my friend 😉 | defaultedabby ❤🥰

defaultedabby love you, puff 😉

megdonnelly the cutest :D  | defaultedabby love you ❤

peytonelizabethlee you guys went for coffee without me?!?!? I am offended 🥺  | defaultedabby tomorrow?  | peytonelizabethlee yes!

fanuser8 so this is your girlfriend? wow. way to go, milo. she’s so pretty  | milomanheim i know right? but she’s not my girlfriend 😊  | defaultedabby not his girlfriend but thank you 🥰

fanuser9 you guys have gotta be dating 🙃

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defaultedabby | christmas with puff 🐡🥰 milomanheim

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milomanheim the best present 😉

camrynmanheim puff and squid, together again. makes my heart happy 😊  | defaultedabby i love you ❤  | milomanheim ❤

fanuser10 hes cute  | defaultedabby the cutest 😉

defaultedabby before anyone asks, we are NOT dating

jspencermac you’re welcome for getting him home 😊  | defaultedabby forever grateful for you 🥰😊

fanuser11 as much as i want you two to be dating, i’m actually convinced the actual couple is you and jspencermac  | jspencermac nope  | defaultedabby deffs not 😂  | jspencermac ^ ouch 😢

fanuser12 are you sure you guys aren’t dating?

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defaultedabby | so proud of Puff 🐡🥰 wally couldn’t have been more perfect & that jacket? wow 🔥😉🤤 milomanheim paramountplus

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peytonlist best scene partner, obvi 😊

milomanheim the jacket is coming home 😉  | defaultedabby good 😉  | fanuser13 mhm definitely not dating 😂

addisonraee 🔥🔥  | defaultedabby ^👍🏻

megdonnelly oh milo i miss you ☹  | milomanheim miss you too meg ☹  | defaultedabby you don’t miss me? man i sure feel offended 😭  | megdonnelly of course i miss you. i miss you the absolute most 😯❤  | defaultedabby we come back home soon. can’t wait to see you 😊

fanuser14 did you go with him to film? that’s some couple behavior right there  | milomanheim no it’s best friend behavior. plus it was a surprise  | defaultedabby his mom couldn’t be there so she sent me to support him, just like i always do 😊

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defaultedabby | who knew that a slytherin & a hufflepuff would have such a great friendship? Ps; the only slytherin i like 🤗

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fanuser15 ‘friendship’ my ass. you guys are totally dating 😂

milomanheim you are the only hufflepuff i like 😊 | defaultedabby ❤❤

fanuser16 he looks good in glasses

jspencermac never seen a better friendship  | defaultedabby so what do you call ours? 😂  | fanuser11 i believe it would be called a relationship | defaultedabby you again? 🙄

wizardingworld he could be harry potter if he wanted to 😊  | milomanheim if he was a slytherin 😂

megdonelly slytherins suck. ravenclaws are the best  | milomanheim you take that back. we do NOT suck  | defaultedabby slytherins do suck but milo is the ONLY exception ❤  | milomanheim i’ll take it 😊

Liked by defaultedabby and 387,126 others

milomanheim | surprise 😯   ive learned a lot in my teenage years but the main thing is to never let anyone you truly love get away defaultedabby is not only my best friend but she is also the squid to my puff and i honestly could not love her more ❤

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defaultedabby i love you way more than i could ever EVER express milo ❤♾

fanuser 3 I FREAKING KNEW IT!!!

fanuser12 I knew this the entire time 😂 but congratulations

jspencermac my favorite couple  | megdonnelly x2  | peytonlist x3  | peytonelizabethlee x4  | defaultedabby I love you all tremendously  | jspencermac but obviously not as much as milo 😉

fanuser14 anyone want to talk about that ring she’s wearing? 🤔  | camrynmanheim it means nothing…yet 😉 maybe in the future though

camrynmanheim 21 years in the making 😉❤

Liked by jspencermac and 68,752 others

defaultedabby | love of my life, platonically 😊 just kidding. milomanheim ;the love of my life, literally. ever since we were in diapers, i had a feeling this loser would hold the biggest piece of my heart forever. Not only my best friend, but my person entirely and the puff to my squid. milo has taught me so much and i could not love him more ❤

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milomanheim we said puff and squid forever when we were 6 and we truly meant it, huh? ❤

peytonlist omg you two are seriously too cute 😊 can’t wait for the wedding 😉  | milomanheim relax, dude. we are just dating rn  | peytonlist for now 😉

megdonnelly never saw anybody cuter than you two 😊  | defaultedabby we love you ❤  | milomanheim 😊

camrynmanheim i am so thankful for you 😊  | defaultedabby i am so thankful for you too & thank you for giving me the opportunity to love your son ❤  | camrynmanheim thank you for making him so happy ❤

fanuser11 my favorite couple 😊

fanuser9 i really knew about this the whole time & nobody believed me 😂

[writteninthesewalls28]

Love, your chosen twin

A "family" one shot

A/n: This work is part of the "be my valentine challenge" by @bemyvalentinechallenge for the day 9 prompt. It’s also a one shot to my rather long fanfiction.

Summary: Milly’s best friend Kailey just died and Milly decides to write a letter to her, even though she’ll never be able to read it.

Warnings: major character death, grieving, anxiety, sadness, not proof read

"Dear Kailey,

I know you will never get this letter.

But I hope you are watching down on me right now and watch over every word I write."

were the first few sentences Milly wrote to say goodbye to her best friend. A goodbye for forever.

Sometimes she forgets about the fact that she won´t be standing next to her ever again and won´t talk to her again.

Life just wasn´t fair.

"I miss you, when I see the stars because they were your favorite, by the way. But… when I think about it, I actually miss you every single second of my life.

I don´t think, I´ll ever be able to have another best friend again. I don´t think, I´ll ever be able to trust someone again, at least not the way I trusted you."

Why did she even write this? Why did I she torture herself like that? She had absolutely no idea and just hoped this would end quickly.

Not only the letter, but the constant reminders of her. The pictures in her room, the oreos in the house, the drawings in the school hallways she walks past every day, everything was reminding her of her one friend. Kailey couldn´t be replaced by anyone. Her way to see this world and experience it had been the uniquest of them all.

"I wish I could talk about my exchange year in Australia with you, maybe you would even come with me. I´m so scared. I´m so scared to live without you."

She closed her eyes and saw Kailey´s dark brown hair with the curls in front of her inner eyes. She was smiling as always. It was the moment where they walked out of school one day and it was raining. Both of them forgot to bring an umbrella, so now they had to walk back home and would get wet. But they? They just didn´t care. They had fun and were together, that had been all that mattered for both.

But Milly never would´ve imagined, they wouldn´t be together some day.

And now she felt even more thankful for these type of memories she could keep in her mind forever.

"I feel like my heart was broken in half the day I met you in pre-school, they day you ripped on my left bun because you thought it´s funny. You took one half of my heart, you took it with you the day you left. Now my half of it is all that I´m left with. We had some good times, didn´t we?"

Oh, yes they did. Doing their make-up together the last few hours before prom, not caring how it looked, because all that mattered, was that they did it together.

"I know one thing for sure: I´ll miss you forever. Forever and always. I could never forget or not miss my chosen twin sister."

When they had been around 9 years old, Milly and Kailey decided they want to be twins.

So that´s what they called each other for the next years: "My chosen twin"

"But, you know. You gave me a forever within your numbered days, and I´m grateful.

Love,

Your chosen twin, Milly."

Now it was time, to get up and close up with this whole thing. That´s why she wrote this in the first place, to get rid of these cruel thoughts.

But instead, she stood up from the chair and just then realized the tears on her cheeks.

She had been crying for the whole time.

The feeling of emptiness, she had been experience for the past week now, got worse and worse.

What should she do now?

[the-cloudy-dreamer]

Tea and Books Asks

Thank you Dreamling Nation server for being so unhinged as to make this an actual tag game!

So @quillingwords @mathomhouse-e @firemandeanbuck tagged me and at this point I think I’m the last one to make this so if anyone’s missing feel free to do it!

1. What period of history do you enjoy learning about?

Honestly I think I enjoy it all! I love history 🖤

2. Who is your favourite fictional character and why?

I have too many! as of right now I can honestly say that spots goes to Dream of the Endless—he is a complex character full of tragedy and contradictions and I love him for it.

3. What do you order at a café?

Usually I drink black coffee but if I go out to buy myself coffee I guess I’ll go for an extra strong coffee with a dash of milk.

Sometimes I get a caramel macchiato but that’s when I feel like I want a special treat not an everyday sort of coffee.

4. Libraries, botanical gardens, or art galleries?

In theory I love libraries and gardens are lovely as well but my heart will forever will be with museums and art galleries.

5. Do you have a favourite film soundtrack? I’ll do you one better and name a few: Labyrinth, Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Coraline, Lord of the Rings/ The Hobbit.

I love OST music 🖤

6. What does your dream home look like?

It would have to be a cozy little house tucked away somewhere quiet —perhaps in the middle of a forest? I would love to be able to relax, enjoy the nature and do all the things that I love like reading and drawing and painting ✨

7. What makes you feel better on gloomy days? Warm soft things like a thick blanket and a nice cup of tea—perhaps eating something sweet and listening to my favorite music or watching a comfort movie/series.

8. What are your top three films? Books? My mind is *blank* so I’ll name just one of each because *awkward hand gesture* Movie Perfect Blue, Satoshi Kon Book Almond, Sohn Won-pyung.

9. Are you an organized person, generally? I am perhaps a little *too* organized! I’ve been working on trying to be more relaxed about it. And I think I’m making a good job at it!

10. Do you have a favourite classic novel? Several—I’ll chose The Bell Jar , Sylvia Plath because it’s been sometime since I read and I miss it.

11. What character archetype or trope is your favourite? I have a soft sport for creatives, rebels and truth seekers probably because I see myself in those.

12. Do you prefer baking or cooking? I don’t think I prefer one over the other but I do find baking more relaxing and rewarding.

13. Which season do you feel at home in? Autumn! Or more specifically that little place between changing seasons always feels wonderful.

14. What is your opinion on poetry? Love it!

15. Do you speak formally when texting and emailing? Since I only text family and close friends then no but emails probably yes since most ( if not all) of them are work related.

16. How do you organize your music playlists? I’m basic so I usually organize them by language ( I have list in English, Spanish, Japanese and Korean for example) Genre and *sometimes* mood.

17. Who is your favourite author? I collect those like Pokémon so I’ll pick one at random and say my beloved Banana Yoshimoto.

18. Chai or hot chocolate? Both! Though I usually drink hot chocolate only during the winter.

19. Do you prefer forests, sea shores, or meadows? Forest for sure!

20. If you were to cultivate a fruit orchard, what would you grow? Probably something basic like apples or cherries mostly because I grew up climbing those and I have lots of fond memories of sitting and eating on those trees while swinging my legs back and ford and feeling like I was on top of the world.

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-pokemon-fan]

Hey folks, for my benefit more than for anyone else--as this whole blog is--here's a timeline of my spring 2022, pieced together from screenshots and memories: (it gets personal and heavy at the end)

12/30/2016 - I ambitiously start a new save on Pokémon Platinum Version, my first time playing it not as a child. I immediately put it down and don't pick it up for seven years, when I take...

4/23/2022 - My first screenshot (shitty photo) of my actual first adult playthrough of Platinum, showing a Lv. 27 Luxio named Alpha. I must have started a couple days prior. (Alpha is currently chilling in Violet as a Lv. 100 Luxray, only ever used 2 rare candies)

4/29 - I defeat Cynthia by the skin of my teeth.

5/6 - The ~Breakup~ to which I allude often, which is pivotal in this story, happens

Also 5/6 - I buy Pokémon Legends: Arceus as a treat. I play it quite a bit and--despite its faults--enjoy it quite a bit too.

5/9 - I buy the red and black DS also as a treat, realize it looks like a Sinnoh Pokédex, and pop Platinum in. My in-game Pokédex reads 119 obtained. Bipolar manic response to intense emotional distress kicks in. I think, "You know what, why not catch 'em all? Better yet, why not make a Living Dex?"

5/11 - I catch 19 Bidoofs to fill slots in the PC where mons i can't possibly catch would go so I can actually track who I still need. Out of spite, I name one "MANAPHY." Pokédex reads 155 obtained.

5/16 - Pokédex reads 183 registered. I've caught almost every Pokémon possible on one cartridge of Platinum.

5/20 - Content to move everything forward to White, I pick up my playthrough of White that I abandoned in freshman year of college when my Gold DS broke. I'm 7 gyms in already, time for the home stretch.

5/24 - I beat White. Hell Yeah. This will become my Living Dex save until October.

5/28 - I move all my Pokémon forward to White and document everything in my save. Pokédex reads 185 registered. Play clock is at 159:35. I reset. Time to Nuzlocke.

6/1 - First photo evidence of my Nuzlocke, showing me in a very dire spot against an enemy ace trainer's Luxio.

6/7 - A screenshot of PL:A in the Basculegion quest. I guess I'm still playing this here and there.

6/21 - I beat my first ever Nuzlocke. Play Clock at 141:31.

And that's how I played 301 hours of Pokémon Platinum Version in the span of two months. That's 12.5 days, or 20.3% of all the time in that span. That doesn't even count the time in White or P:LA. Keep in mind that for April until the breakup I had four classes, and from then to September I had an internship that demanded 20 hours/week (quite a bit of the grinding in the Nuzlocke happened on the clock). So it's not like the only thing I did was play Pokémon.

You know what? I'm not embarrassed. I was heartbroken. I was lonely, home for the summer, away from all my friends and almost every other distraction. I needed something to fill the gaping whole in both my heart and my schedule. Pokémon was there for me. So was my family, and so were my friends (digitally). I wasn't alone, especially not with all those damn Pokémon I caught.

If anything, I'm proud of myself. I've been to incredibly dark places. When I was younger, it got so bad I did something that leaves scars on me to this day. This time, an older, stronger, more hope-filled version of myself channeled my manic energy and overwhelming emotions into something entirely harmless: a video game. Better yet, I made personal achievements out of it. For the first time ever, I had completed a regional Dex, and I attempted--AND WON--my first ever Nuzlocke.

I joked that I switched mains in Smash Bros from Samus to Pokémon Trainer because I played a debatably unhealthy amount of Pokémon. The debate is in why I played so much. Was it unhealthy when it kept my emotionally stable? Was it unhealthy when it might well have prevented more self harm? I think not. You hear that, kids? Playing Pokémon for a fifth of your time is healthy in all situations forever. Obligatory /s.

[ly-lyla]

"The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her." - Meggie Royer

There was one post I read, a long time ago, that talked about what it was like to be immortal. You could be anyone, the poster said, a famous author, physicist, engineer, artist, and one day the world will move on. The world will forget your name, your contributions, your life. You will outlive your audience, your fans, anyone who loved what you did.

How are we sure that anything actually happened? We humans record to the best of our ability but 99% of history is lost forever. Science is all about proof, evidence that something once was there. But not everything leaves a trace. Can someone prove, in a thousand years, that I lived on this Earth, that I woke up and smiled and laughed and loved? According to hard evidence, I would have never existed. And no matter how influential, how famous, one day you will cease to exist in the minds of people, in the pages of history books, in the record of the Earth.

But I exist. And just how I have never known my great-great grandmother, I will be gone in 100 years, my memory breathing its last puff onto the Earth. And even as I strive for fame, strive to be remembered, strive to be loved of a million years, a million and one years later I will be gone to the world.

Who will remember me, I ask, who do I live for. Why live for a future that will run past you like children learning to play? Why live for a world that inevitably, will forget you? And the answer is: live for the present.

Live for the people that love you now! Your family, your friends, your sister's face as it lights up! Live for happiness and joy and fulfillment in your lottery-won years on Earth! You owe it to nobody to become anybody, but yourself. You do not repay fate by giving your beauty to modeling agencies. You do not repay fate by giving you brains to math problems. You do not repay fate by giving your heart to artistry.

You were not a burden to be born. You were not a burden to be raised. You do not owe anyone for who you are, the potential you could and could not reach. And so, with the future a quiet fading blanket, you must learn to live for yourself. You must learn to accept the harsh truth, that you can truly do anything, that you are not bound by expectations of the universe, that you must, yourself, reach out to opportunities, reach out to love, reach out to happiness and seize it for yourself. You must live life for the one person it was given to.

01/26/2024

[dumbbitchfrommars]

its a journey, not a race. i have to feel this way to move on.

what do i want to gain from telling my sisters about this? or my mum? what could they tell me that would help?

all i truly want to hear is that i should listen to my heart and go back to him. that he really was one of a kind, and that i wont find another like him. but the reality is im still 22, and i havent even met anyone besides him, because i wont let go of him. i dont want to let go of him! i want him back. i want what we had back. i want to feel that kind of love and attraction for someone again. because so far, i havent found a single person who can aggravate and excite me all at once the way he did. that could make me genuinely LAUGH the way he did. that made me feel safe and cared for like he did. ugh. is it true that i felt this way? am i making it all up to feed into my delusions? its so tiring being this way. its like the only thing that would make it end is to simply do it. to actually unblock him, add him, send him a dm, and get to the bottom of it myself. to put my pride aside, and risk rejection, all to hear from him again. to relight that connection. to somehow get the answers that i seek. what answers? that he still wants me? but do i still want him? who even is he, now...? is that what it is? the lack of knowing? i want him to still belong to me, even when i dont want to be together. i have the audacity to think he owes that loyalty to me years after i left him.

i want to know if he still has any kind of feelings for me. do you still think about me as often as i do? does it make you sad? does it make you miss me? does it make you nostalgic, or do you want it back? do you wish things went differently...? do you wonder, maybe, things could be different now, if we tried again?

i wish we could get to know eachother all over again without it feeling wrong. i wish we could start again without feeling like its a mistake. i wish that i was right in thinking you were the one for me all along.

i used to think we'd be together forever. that we'd have kids together.

did you secretly expect us to break up too? or did you want us to be together forever? because somehow i wanted both at once.

well. anyway, the point of all this is this. i still cant get you off my mind. so, you did win. if there was anyone who won, it was always you. you got me, you got the experience of a girlfriend, you had the character development of dating a girl like me. we learnt from eachother but you get to take that knowledge and now find a new girl to charm and love better than you ever did for me. and after all my fighting and anger and resentment, now i cant go a day without remembering you and the amazing love we shared and the memories we have together. ugh. ew. im so sappy and pathetic.

i dont know if it would be satisfying or heartbreaking to know that you still think about me to, or miss me. it would be even more heartbreaking to know you didn't.

i know youre happy now and that makes me happy and proud of you. you honestly might be doing a lot better than me mentally now. thats so impressive. you have a good circle of friends, youre living your best life and having fun and you moved forward instead of backward. that change is so heartwarming for me.

it irritates me that youre a tradie now. did you do that on purpose, cause i find them so hot? do you know how bad that makes me crave you? my body hasnt forgotten the things you did to me... lol. thats fucked up and lowkey weird. we broke up a long time ago and we were still very young.

i wonder how much better youd be now. i wonder how many girls youve slept with now? i hope they were good. my body count went up but for no good reason. they were all terrible and never made me cum. what a waste of my body. another massive regret.

anyway. i wonder how you'd react if you actually knew i felt this way about you. if you read everything i just wrote... would you feel bad for me? or would it spark something in you, a memory, and hope, that maybe its worth trying again. or has too much time passed, and too much has happened between us, that it simply wouldnt make sense anymore?

ive tried and tried to reconnect with old friends from the past. even the ones who i left on good terms with, we just cant seem to click anymore. we changed and outgrew eachother. and they remind me too much of the past, and the pain of grieving that time and that old me is too much, and it makes it too hard to see her anymore.

maybe weve changed so much, and the trust has faded so far, that even if we were to reconnect, wed inevitably lose eachother again anyway. would that hurt more? perhaps its best to leave the memory untouched where it is, and not meddle with what we had, by replacing it with newly failed attempts of rekindling things.

ugh.

i always come back to the same conclusion. and thats good! its consistent, and its healthy, and its right, and it helps me to stay on gods path. but its so exhausting going round in this circle so much. when can i be given a break? when can this addiction end? who is holding onto who at this point? is it venus retrograde? this whole time ive been blaming my emotions on venus. but every now and then i wonder if its him manifesting himself into my mind by thinking about me to.

EXCUSE ME! IF YOU ARE HEARING ME RIGHT NOW, WOULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK? I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE YOU ALL HOT AND SWEATY IN YOUR WORK UNIFORM AFTER A DAYS WORK. I DONT LIKE IMAGINING YOU LAUGHING AND MESSING AROUND WITH YOUR FRIENDS. I DONT ENJOY MISSING A PERSON WHO DOESNT EXIST. SO PLEASE STOP THINKING ABOUT ME AND MANIFESTING IN MY MIND! ITS EXHAUSTING. I NEED A BREAK TO FIND SOMETHING REAL AND TANGIBLE, THANKS.

i am so fucking delusional and need professional help. thats all

[chlerc]

last night ; charles leclerc

— summary; in which he shows up right at her doorstep although he swore that he wouldn’t come back here again, and there he was yearning for the comfort of her arms.

pairing — charles leclerc x f. reader ( third person story )

word count — 796.

content — friends with benefits but charles broke it off between them, he said he wouldn’t return yet he was back there asking for a forever.

NAVIGATION + author’s note: first drabble and i have no idea how to end it off so please bear with the ending ��🏻

THE LAST TIME HE said it was over and he wasn’t coming back was a weekend ago. Yet, here he stood in front of her with his gray hoodie and black sweatpants. The hood of his hoodie hides the way his face usually glows in the bright moonlight, illuminating the perfect facial features he had.

“What are you doing here at half past 3 in the morning? And you shouldn’t be seen here at my doorstep, you’d be on the front page of every sports gossip page tomorrow!” Her voice comes off as a whisper, her eyes droopy as she rubs at it.

His cherry red lips clash against her luscious ones, savoring the slightest taste of her chapstick present. Charles pulls her by her waist, closer to his chest than it already was before. The pieces of her heart that had been struggling to fit into the world became so quiet when in his embrace ; it was as if they had found peace, as if they needed his glue to bridge their gaps and connect.

She pulls away, tugging at his sleeves for him to enter, just in case anyone actually followed him here. Everything was a contract, or a relationship in summary, friends with benefits. One gets needy, they have fun, and they leave but come running back again. He was different, the one that sticks out like a sore thumb from others. Charles would stay till the next morning and she’d be woken up to the fragrant smell of pancakes drizzled with maple syrup and coffee.

They’ve been friends since too long, she was his source of comfort when he came running to her with his arms wide open for comfort and anger from a fucked up race weekend. Neediness got the better of him every night he had landed back in Monaco, leading to many other nights before this and the pair of best friends agreed to be solely friends with benefits.

“You can’t just show up here like nothing happened, like whatever you said last week didn’t matter and then proceed to kiss me, Charles.” He leaned against the door, hands tucked in the pockets of his sweatpants and his expression made it hard for her to read him. “One last time please, I had a bad weekend and I just need one more night with you.” She knew she would agree to whatever he said, zero doubts and hesitation. He was her weakness.

Her heart felt fireworks in them whenever he was near her, yearning to be released from the rib cage. Her heartbeat keeps a steady rhythm until the thought of Charles running to her apartment after a horrible weekend, then its tempo raises into a new genre all together. Butterflies occupied her stomach at the slightest thought of him, burning pink cheeks whenever she welcomed him. She was in love, and she knows she shouldn’t be, after all they were just friends with benefits, before he broke it off.

He had a way to her heart, like a key unlocking a lock and before she knew it, she was nodding at his request. Horrible weekend? As if she hadn’t been awake, watching him take pole position and race winner for the weekend. “Horrible weekend but you won the race and clinched pole position, Charles. What are you talking about?” She watches as he takes a step forward, embracing her in his arms.

“Horrible weekend because I knew you weren’t at home waiting for me to celebrate with you. I know I said last weekend was the last time I’d be here, and honestly? I don’t know what I’m doing here, I just know that I want to be in your arms tonight.”

His words tugged at the strings of her heart, looking into his eyes, the window of a soul. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon her own. She loved the way his voice quickened when he sparkled with a new idea, or was so enjoying one of hers that he lost himself for a moment and quite forgot the mask he wore for others.

Charles brings his hand up to her cheeks at her silence, stroking them with his fingers as he gazes into her eyes. His eyes steady on her as they were filled with nothing but a longing desire. He had told himself it’d be the last time he would show up here, yet there he was in the comfort of her arms.

“Mia cara, nothing matters more than you. I want to keep coming back here to you after every race weekend. Would you let me do that?”

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Ultimately, "it's all me. (Not to be confused with "it's all about me." Lol no lol). Your "It's" are all you just the same as mine are all me.       4-22-23

 "Once you open your eyes to the pattern . . .

Remember you're the one who wrote the list of priorities. You certainly have the power to implement them" - Dr. Richard Carlson

 *Side note

The pic attached is a note, in its raw original state. It's to show that sometimes my feelers are too much for the minute that I'm writing it, so I'm trying to be sure to not forget every part of it.

For the ones I might edit later, like this one. Lol

**Another important Side note

Dollar bucks are a thing from Bluey. If you haven't already seen at least one or two of their episodes, you should. If you have any kind of human intellect and emotional range whatsoever, you'll enjoy it. . .with or without kids. Promise.

I messed up.

Explain

(So. . .what had happened was, I left part of the material off a pretty large job. Therefore the estimate, which was already squeezed pretty tight, was off. We, of course, won the bid, and I ended up finding my error.)

1500 dollar bucks worth of messed up.

In our infancy.

(It’s not a mistake I make regularly. Its actually quite rare, but. . .whatever. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. Its not a company killing mistake, but only because we generated enough revenue between several jobs to cover the difference in cost. It will come out in the end, of course which hinders the profit side, but $1500 on $17,500 can be . . . worked around and wrote off in different places. Thanks to and for, my salesmen/business colleagues/friends/brothers for landing 2 pretty sizeable jobs.

I was actually told I am allowed some grace. . .

I do put my everything into this company. Playing every position or helping is something of a hobby of mine, that’s kills endurance with office work. lol

(Here's where you guys who read these entries throw a life preserver (or a word of encouragement or two). C'mon guys, I need to know you can help me. Lol no lol

I always talk about wanting to hire a "me" to work with me. You know someone who will work hard, with the same work ethic, knowledge, etc etc.

But I don't know if I could do that.  You know, like really work for me. I might be an asshole to work for.

I mean, trying to live up to my expectations is a lot for anyone, including me. I set the bar pretty high.

I mean, I'm pretty sure my kid thinks so, so . . . Lol no lol

Struggling with deciding whether to plan to work through weekends to cover up coming bad weather days or to do family related thing.

I'm back n forth in my head constantly. My heart seems to be leaning one way, obviously, whether it's gonna cost me in the long run or not. Lol

I also tell myself that as long as I don't make a habit or doing this or that, then it's not letting the one side over shadow the other.

I can write my story however I want. There is no destiny or karma at work here.

As I write, I know I'm going to choose family, then rush to fill in work stuff(s), so I don't know what I'm on about.

I imagine a lot of copying and pasting is in my future. As I'm not going to have a ton of time to edit this before I post.

Story time will probably be a straight punch through as well, but as long as I'm still doing both . . . there’s no failing them, or me.

And its 4-20-23 (Happy High Day mofos), a Thursday, we just went and picked up my oldest son, (I don't know) and we got to see the girls for a minute.

Bonus.

If I hadn't already decided about taking Saturday off to see them, it's definitely sealed now.  Lol

Sunday still going to be a catch all for work. Eh, maybe more than that but yeah.

I might just see if I can get another note or two in here before I post, and call it good for the week.

We'll see.

*Well nothing new to report.

I took the day off, as we figured I would. My oldest son, pretty much been asleep the whole time he’s been here, but no expectations this time. It’s not a get right forever plan. So . . .

And a very special Happy Birthday to my stepdaughter. She deserves the world, but I'm sure she'll settle for a happy, stress free family life, which she also deserves! And to her old man, whose birthday lunch is being combined with today. Lol

I’m still trying to decide if I should pull my granddaughter off to the side before the tournament and teach the crane technique. I mean . . .”If do right, no can defense.”

 Please let’s keep encouraging each other, against all odds, to be the love, light, and kindness the world needs. Keep sharing your laughter too. That will never change either!! Light the way with it!

Until next week;

"A friend of mine taught me a powerful lesson that I always try to remember. He said, "In reality, you vote with your actions, not your words." This means that while I can tell you that my friends and family are important to me, I can write well-intended lists, and I can even become defensive in my well-thought-out excuses, ultimately, the measure of what's most important to me is how I spend my time and energy. " - Dr. Richard Carlson

 P.S. I'm pretty sure he watched me before . . .maybe not even in my old life. Lol no lol

[spacecadetomoly]

Matsuno Family Diary! Part 1 (Unofficial English Translation)

The following is an unofficial English translation of an official short story released online for members of the official Osomatsu-san fan club. If you want to read the original Japanese version of the story or enjoy the other things the fan club offers it’s members please consider joining: https://osomatsusan-fc.com/ In the room of the Matsuno family sextuplets there is a notebook hidden away behind a bookshelf. This notebook exists so that the brothers may, should they so choose, express the deep feelings and profound thoughts which weigh upon their hearts and minds so heavily that they can no longer be contained. It seems that today someone’s hand is once again turning the pages…. October 29th 2021, Osomatsu

Oh no~ Oh no~! Something REALLY messed up happened today! Right, so, to explain the situation I’m going to need to give a little backstory first: Yesterday I had a super lucky morning and I won BIG at the races for the first time in forever! I was loaded! But I knew if I went home with that much cash my brothers would find out and take it away. Geez, normally they don’t even pay attention to me, but the second I get some money suddenly it’s all eyes on niisan. I decided to just spend it all as fast as I could before I went back to the house, and what better to buy than beer? So I got myself a drink, and then I got myself another, and another, another. I drank so much I could barely stand up, but I still had tons of money left over! I stumbled out of the bar, unsteady on my feet, and somehow ended up in an adult bookstore. I started grabbing every erotic book I could get my hands on. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but looking back I feel so embarrassed about it. God, what a waste of money, my parents should be ashamed of me. I ended up with a lot of really weird stuff like “In the MILF of Madness”, “Hey Diddle Dildo”, “Less than Moral Nuns”, “Junk in the Box”, “Furry in a Hurry”, “Naughty Stewardesses Quarterly review”, “Banging in the Rain”, and “Step on Me Mommy Monthly”* just to name of a few of the gross things I got. I want to make it clear that I wasn’t actually going to USE any of that nasty stuff! Really! I swear! I was just buying whatever I could in a drunken panic! Seriously! After buying the books I had finally used up all my money so I went home. I hid the porn in various places all over the house and then I passed out. The next day…. It was gone. One of the erotic books. A really, REALLY perverted one! Something so dirty I don’t even want to write down the title or even what genre it was! One of my brothers must have taken it! I thought the six of us knew each other better than anyone, but I was wrong. I really don’t know anything about my brothers, and I don’t think I WANT to know! I really don’t want to know who took it. Just thinking about it freaks me out. I don’t want to know. I just don’t want to know.

Translator’s notes: *In the original Japanese version of the text Osomatsu doesn’t give specific titles of the porno books he bought, he just says they’re things he’s normally not into (the only genres he directly name drops are “Mature women” and “concept books”) I thought it might be funnier though if I came up with some goofy titles for sexy books, “In The MILF of Madness” is my personal favorite of the bunch. Man, Osomatsu sure is being judgmental about that porn book, huh? If you ask me a guy who blows all his gambling earnings on booze and erotica doesn’t really have a leg to stand on when it comes to critiquing matters of morality, but whatever. Coming up next: Karamatsu!