#If You Want to Shine Like A Sun You Must First Burn Like A Sun || Magnai ||
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congregenturanimarum · 2 years ago
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@aetherbled
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syefiles · 4 months ago
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: sylus : midnight stealth, but what should've happened. 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: really sadistic sylus. not accurate scene (rewritten some parts) fingering, the reader is seen as a female and has a pussy, dom! sylus, kissing. lmk if i missed anything. 𝐚/𝐧: requests/suggestions open in my ask-box [] hiyaa ! i missed writing on here. lately sylus has had me in a choke hold T_T here's me coping with my obsession with a new fic. thank you, and enjoy :)
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You were home alone with the bird twins, Sylus' most important and capable helpers whose posts are his house. You were almost going to shake your head to get more ideas on how to invade the vampire and get the brooch.
It wasn't fair. A ruler of a nation against a pitiful hunter who just happened to waltz straight into his own personal hell. "Stop worrying your pretty little head. Boss might be scary and sophisticated, but if you play your cards right, you can achieve your goal." Luke spoke from the dinner table, while Kieran was sat on it. "But then again, you only have an hour left in your deal. Make it count."
You sat up from the couch, finally picking yourself up with enough confidence to face the final boss. Luke and Kieran put up two signs, one with tiger claws and another with a peace sign. "Good luck, you stray." Kieran remarks.
The moon was beautiful. Although the sun never shined in this dimension, it was still a sight for sore eyes. You approach the heavy door decorated with expensive vintage handles, that might cost a few thousand back at home.
You tightly grip the evol-sealing handcuffs and a tranquilizer gun, giving yourself a few imaginary pats on the back. You open the door, seeing the smoke-headed crow resting on his headboard, as vulnerable as a dove. His breathing was steady, hands remained warm atop his covers. He could've just asked me to tuck him in.
You approach his figure quietly, as if cautious of a landmine on the wooden floors. Your leg climbs on his mattress, sitting down gently. Your mouth whispers his name, "Sylus, Sylus?" When you saw his chest still remained steady, you successfully cuffed his heavy hand on his headboard.
"This is what you get for toying with me." You muttered under your breath and the same volume you did when you whispered his name. You set the gun down, while you inspect his red and black robe, He must have hidden it here.
Your hands barely touched the fabric, his free hand successfully trapping your wrist. His eyes furrow, failing to recognize your features at first. You stare at his face in shock, like a cat trapped in a glass box.
"Showing up uninvited at this hour, want me to tell you a bedtime story?" He asks, clearly sarcastic and angry. Your shocked expression drops, "Actually..." Your two hands cage him in, closing the space between you. You could see his face so distinctly from here.
"You should be able to figure out what's going on here." His eyes stare at you, almost burning holes into yours. "These handcuffs have you helpless. No matter how powerful you are, you can't do anything for an hour." You taunt, successfully catching your hunt.
"Really? What do you intend to do now that I've become your prey?" He asks, intrigued. Your right hand detaches from the plush of his headboard, putting out your hand. "Where's the brooch?"
He smirks, "Help yourself." fully offering his semi-naked body to you. While patting down his sides and pockets, you list all of the things he had done to you once you stepped foot into the N109 Zone. "No ordinary person would do that. So..." Your hands stopped their advancements, completely staring at him now, he stares back.
"Don't tell me you're doing all of this because you like me."
Sylus laughs at your misunderstanding. He did all of this for his own benefit, he only desired to resonate with you and nothing else. Yet, fate chose the hard path for you two. "Clearly, you read too many fairy tales." You ignored his words and resumed back to searching.
Your hands search under the collar of his robe, "Does my answer really matter to you?" He asked. "That doesn't matter now. I won!" You exclaim, using your thumb to flip the coin up into the air, and catching it with your hand.
Sylus let a few moments of silence pass, trying to savor what little feeling of triumph you have left. "Don't tell me..." Your expression changes into a frown, "I won't go back on what I promised you." Sylus sits up, his back no longer leaning on the bed. "This was quite the thrilling experience for you huh, sweetie?" His evol submerged the metal of the handcuffs, causing it to deteriorate.
Your eyes widen, and you quickly try to get up from the bed, but he flips you over by your thighs, completely laid down. You try to retaliate with your hand, but he catches it almost immediately with his. "You're pretty good at running away."
He takes the gun by your side and inspects it himself. "You were gonna use this on me?" He almost laughs, staring at your shocked and vulnerable expression. "Yes, just like that." He says, aligning the gun on your cheek, running it down and up your soft skin. "You're so beautiful when your face contorts in fear, kitty."
He lets out a low laugh. "And disobedient kittens get punished," He lightly slaps the gun on your cheek. He traces it down to your chin, lifting it up to level his eyes with yours. "I-I won fair and square!" You respond, only receiving a heavier slap with the gun on your cheek.
"Bad girls don't talk back." His left eye glows but quickly settles down once your hands reach into his robe, feeling his hard abs and warm skin. Sylus raises an eyebrow, curious at your moves. You slip one side of his robe off, exposing his neck. You grab onto his shoulders, licking and nipping at his neck.
He lets out a groan, while a hand slips up from your inner thighs and into your panties. They're soaked, he thought. A finger hooks on your panties, sliding them to the side, his middle and ring fingers toying with your clit, rubbing circular motions on it. Your tongue slows down, letting out exasperated moans here and there. "Sylus-"
His hand slaps your clit, making you jolt in response. "Try that again, sweetheart." He stops his fingers from moving, waiting for your reply. "Sir..." You mutter, two fingers entering you. Your arms shake on his shoulders from his lengthy fingers bullying themselves into your sopping cunny.
"Good-fucking-girl." Each word came with a curl and a thrust from his fingers, making you go ballistic. He was nimble and skilled with his hand, while two were inside, his thumb was working magic on your puffy clit. Your mouth didn't stop leaving love bites all over his neck, while he kisses all over your boobs and collarbones.
"Such a pretty face." He says, admiring your sweat and small tears collecting at your waterline. You let out small moans and whimpers from the pace his fingers were jolting in and out inside of you. "Gonna cum for me?"
He asks, your cunt pulsates around his fingers and they grow tighter each curl at your g-spot. "Mmhm-mhp!" Your hand covers your mouth, cautious of all of the noise you're making. Sylus' head lowers, "Come on, be loud for me, darling." he whispers in your ear, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear, that action alone was enough to send you over the edge.
"S-Sir, 'm cumming- oh fuck!" You exclaim, finally letting go of your hand on your mouth, Sylus quickly kisses you while you make a mess of his fingers. He didn't slow down, letting you ride out your orgasm.
He pulls away, a string of saliva connecting you two. You lay there, disheveled. "Look so pretty f'me, hm?" He grabs a towel from beside the bed and wipes off the residue and your essence. Your eyes close, you were too tired to even process anything at this point.
Sylus sets down the towel and grabs the blanket, wrapping you two in it, spooning you from behind. "B-but Sylus, what about you?" He smirks, grateful you asked him that question.
"You can pay me back at the banquet tomorrow."
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©syefiles 7/19/2024 - do not copy, translate, modify my works.
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 4 months ago
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Astro thoughts: short n sweet <3 all about the sun
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sun in the first house can be well known for how they look. there appearance is what brings them the most attention. There outlook on life must revolve around them in some way shape or form. They have a knack for knowing more than what they lead on, however, people are use to knowing them for how they portray themselves, the personality is a treat once you get to know them honestly.
sun in the second house love to be at home lol. can really be sweet homebodies most of the time, but also they live to have a more balanced life so try taken it easy on them for a while. the second house is the house of finances, stability, and materials, it also has alot to do with talents. in this house, the second house sun person needs time alone to go over some things they have a gift in, another thing with them is that they are pretty material focus. notice how i didnt say materialistic, because everyone deserves to have there needs met, and they don't notice how people think they look when their drive is mainly focused on the material and less on anywhere else.
sun in the third house - communication with people that they love and admire is a dream for them. they need more individuals in their lives who will allow them to speak and allow their thoughts to come out. they have a creative imagination and it must soar doing some type of hobby. sculpting, painting, or even just something like a crossroad puzzle could be what they need to get through the day. they have the ability to know whats wrong with a person as if they're a mind reader.
sun in the fourth house can also come off to be the black sheep in the family. thought i was going to say their the golden child? thats a rare occasion. the golden child is the 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, 11th houses. this house, if you have any problems with family, your light can burn them a little. so them being the black sheep here is because the 4th house is a very private house, and the sun sheds a light on this house. that means, anything that someone has done or is about to do usually the 4th house sun notices it or sheds a light on it. telling them its wrong etc etc. very nice and sweethearts, needs people who want to be around them in order to feel good.
sun in the 5th house have a knack for entertainment. poetry, acting, singing, dancing.. you name it. they are good at many things, but they are also good at pleasing a crowd. there romance life can be pretty intriguing or they can come off as the hopeless romantic. very sweet, charismatic personalities.
sun in the 6th house (i honestly love this house) have a good aura to them. they bond really well with plants and animals (house of the virgo) and they typically keep to themselves. they love learning and they live their whole lives working at something they love to do. its just what they came here for. fashion could be significant here with people with this placement, its what helps them shine (6th house is connected to the wardrobe).
sun in the 7th house are the popular loners. well liked by a lot of people, but also well rounded. they have a tendency to know a lot about others because people thinks thats a way to get their attention. a lot of gossip energy can be around them. either they are the ones to gossip, or others tend to gossip to them.
sun in the 8th house have intriguing personalities. the way they move, the way the have this mystique to them, but when they open up.. whew. their just a different level of raw. there is a potency to their words that can bring anyone to their knees. because they have a need to heel the inner body/soul/consciousness and unlike others they need their space in order to do it. like a snake coming out of their skin, they change a lot just like any person... but for them it comes with a price.. the old self.
sun in the 9th house are deep philosophers and are VERY intelligent. its because their playful funny nature you dont really notice but.. they are really good at gaining information and would LOVE someone who can match their freak.. that is with the books of course. the perfect travel buddies, and will make you fall in love with them with their free spirits.
sun in the 10th house are very romantic behind close doors. i say this because the 10th house (believe it or not) is very private. they show you what they want you to see. a very inspiring personality. they can have the masses fall in love with them with ease, and can have any man or woman just because of the popular energy thats naturally around their name.
sun in the 11th house needs to familiarize themselves with the masses in order to understand the community better. can be friends with any and everybody. the original loners, but the real cool kids.
sun in the 12th house have a unique outlook on the world and they typically reflect this in their art, their life, their clothes, etc. they have a different stream of thought than their peers so this could typically make them the odd one out. they have a very empathetic personality, and are incredible to work with. they are for the people thats for sure.
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saccharinesatoru · 4 months ago
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Caught in the Moment (Help, I'm Stuck!)
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pairing: gojo satoru x reader (f)
genre: stepbrother!gojo + smut
word count: 6k
summary: When your Mom remarries, a certain white-haired, blue-eyed demon enters your life in the role of your new step brother. It doesn't matter how angelic he looks, he's nothing short of the devil. And while you've never been very close with your family, Gojo wants to be a whole lot closer to you than a step brother should be. But, hey, family comes first, right? Gojo sure thinks so.
warnings: stepcest (the people who like it, love it and the people who hate it wanna burn my house down for writing it), language, gojo's a brat, the stuck-in-washer bs from h*ntai, dubcon bordering on noncon?????? (open to interpretation, honestly), fingering & oral (f receiving), penetration (p in v), creampie, low key breeding kink, degradation with some hints of praise on the side like if you squint real hard, squirting, some anal (f receiving)
A/N: i will take no questions as to where I have been or why I was gone. i also write for some anime now too lmao. i miss satoru and I'm pissed at gege and I need an outlet bc these new manga chapters are giving me grey hairs. also, this is like 45% proofread max. oh, and thanks for 2k followers <3 ... i rarely come on here anymore, so I didn't notice until now.
xx Jay
You were never much of a family person. It’s not like your Mom made it very easy after divorcing your Dad and hopping from dick to dick like the floor was lava. New weekend? New date. Summer getaway? Fresh boytoy. Spring break? New guy to break her back- if her obnoxious moans were anything to go by. 
Overall, you were as much of a family person as your Mom was- noncommittal and unwilling to settle down. And you carried over that same distant, superficial behavior to any of your past romantic relationships… which always ended just about as quickly as your Mom’s did. Your closest friends liked to joke that poor taste in men and a lack of commitment to relationships were perhaps the only things you and your Mom shared in common. And you’d both been that way for as long as you could remember.
Which is why you heard a record scratch in your head when your Mom announced practically out of nowhere that she was engaged and soon to be married. Apparently, this was “the one” and “her knight in shining armor”, or so she claims. She’d have periods of puppy love infatuation every now and then with one of her flings, but since your Dad left the picture, none of your Mom’s relationships had led to a ring on her finger- much less a mansion to share with her new fiance.
The moving process proceeded as quickly as your Mom’s relationship had. In the blink of an eye, all your belongings were packed away nicely in boxes and placed in the back of a truck, soon to be parked in the driveway of your new house. It was as if your Mom wanted to move in together with her latest obsession before her new man realized how horrible of a wife she’d make. Your Dad could attest to that. 
The news about the engagement and rushed move all hit you suddenly, sure. But no amount of new information or experiences could have crashed into you quite as hard as your new step brother.
Literally. 
“Ow, fuck,” you rubbed your side, “Watch where you’re going.”
Gojo Satoru. 
Despite the angelic features, this boy was nothing short of the devil. Whenever you were bored, you’d flip through TV channels and stumble across trashy reality shows where rich people drank alcohol like it was water, partied until the sun came up, and had money to burn. You’d laugh at the over the top antics. Surely you’d never run into someone who actually behaved that way, right?
You wish you were wrong. 
Gojo turns around and lets out a chuckle, “My bad, sweets. I’m not used to having such dwarfs living here. The air must be a lil’ different down there, yeah?”
He places his palm on the top of your head and gives it a pat, smirk painted on his lips. You bat his hand away and take a step back, “You say that is if you’re not ducking to keep your head from hitting the door frame. I’m not tall, you're just freakishly tall.”
Smirking at you, he leans a bit closer to your face. He smells of strawberries, you note.
“Well, you know what they say about tall guys with big hands, right? Do you wanna find out if the rumors are true? I’ll give you a hint,” He takes another step closer, “they’re more than true. And all ya gotta do is step into my room and see for yourself.”
You bristle. 
His loud music? His rowdy friends that came over? His unwillingness to wash dishes? None of that came close to the bullshit that came from Gojo’s mouth. If it wasn’t suggestive comments spilling from his mouth, it was outright filth. 
Somewhere in Gojo’s mind, you two being in the city for the summer and practically home alone given your parents were constantly out doing God knows what meant it was open season to flirt and harass you mercilessly. It started as brushing your shoulder and occasionally touching your lower back when he would move past you in the hallway or kitchen, and now it progressed to�� this. 
Stepping back like you’d been burned, you look at him with irritation, “Are you on crack? Is it crack that you smoke?”
He quirks his head to the side with a little smile on his face, “Whatcha mean, sweetheart? Don’t Mom and Dad want us to bond?”
You bring your hands to your head to massage your temples, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say… any of what you just said.”
Turning around you begin to walk away, “Keep all your pervy comments to yourself, clean your dishes in the sink, and stay out of my way. I’m supposed to be on summer break, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t come back home from one headache to live next door to another.”
Gojo’s lips curl upwards at that as he tilts his head to the side to get a nicer view of your ass as you walk toward the other room. He knew he’d get you eventually, he just had to play the long game. Despite what the people around him thought, Gojo was no fool. He saw right through his Dad’s rushed engagement and gave the two love birds a few months tops before the relationship failed. And if his Dad was allowed to make foolish mistakes in the name of love (lust), then couldn’t he do the same? After all, it’s not like he’s ever going to see you again once the marriage falls through. 
He might as well enjoy this little…. sibling dynamic while it lasts, right? That’s what any good brother would do. And in that moment, Gojo decides to himself that he is that good brother. Oh, he’d be the best big brother. 
Despite the constant annoyances from the white-haired, blue-eyed demon spawn who resided in the house, you did appreciate the in-house washer and dryer. Lugging your dirty clothes from your apartment to the laundry room of your housing complex was quite the pain. 
Humming a tune to yourself, you walked to the dryer with an empty hamper held against your hip. Opening the dryer door, you leaned down and began to remove the items of clothing. You leaned in a bit further when you noticed a sock at the very back of the appliance. 
Rip
You froze. You’ve never been the religious type, but you prayed to whatever god existed that your favorite sweater did not just get caught in the door of the dyer. You held your breath and tried to pull back a little further.
Riiiip
This time the tear was louder and you could just picture the fabric coming loose. 
Biting your lip you tried to wiggle around a bit to find a way to back away from the dryer door without ruining your sweater even further. No luck. 
After some time bent over with your upper torso stuck in the dryer, you heard footsteps approaching the laundry room. 
“Thank God,” you breathed out, “Mom, can you lend me a hand? The fabric on my sweater is stuck to the door of the dryer, and I don’t want to pull away since it’ll rip the top even more.”
You felt a hand brush against your upper thigh, and your breath caught in your throat. 
“Oh, I’d love to help, sweetheart,” Gogo sighed, “But I can lend you a whole lot more than just a hand.” 
With as much strength as you could muster (given your upper body is stuck inside a godforsaken dryer), you kick behind yourself in an attempt to get him away from you… only to have him catch your foot in his large hand. 
“Oh,” he tsks, “That’s no way to treat your loving brother, is it? After all, I’m just trying to help my cute, helpless little sister.”
You grit your teeth, “So help me God, Gojo, if you touch me again, I’m going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat.”
Although you can’t see him, you know he has that infuriating smirk painted on his face. “Nice to know you’ve got my dick on your mind, princess. Although I think I’d like my dick inside something else…”
Latching his hands onto your hips, he pulls your ass against him and grinds against you slowly. 
God, was it a bad day to have worn a skirt. 
“These skirts? These thighs?” he groans, “This ass? God, it’s like you’re begging me to take you. Seeing you leave the house with those skimpy little outfits on made me want to drag you to my room and fuck some manners into you. Maybe then you’d know not to show off what’s mine.”
You furrow your eyebrows so aggressively you know there’s guaranteed wrinkles. “What on earth are you talking about?” you spit, “Get the fuck away from me!”
You squirm some more but to no avail. He grabs your hips even tighter, and you feel the outline of something long and hard against your ass. You do everything in your power not to gasp. The last thing you want to do is give him the satisfaction of knowing how much this is affecting you. 
“You don’t get it, do you?” he asks in a taunting tone, “I’ve known since day one that your Mom and my Dad were never gonna last. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun of our own, right?” He grinds against you again, and the end of your skirt pushes higher up your thighs. “And I couldn’t believe my luck when I just so happened to be walking past the laundry room and spotted you all nice and vulnerable for me.”
“Gojo, this isn’t funny. Let go,” you bite back. 
“Oh, no, I think I’m gonna take my time and enjoy this,” he continues to roll his hips against yours and removes one of his hands from your hips to push your skirt up and over your ass, revealing your panties. “Black lace? You’re kidding me, sweetheart. It’s like you planned for this all along. You want me as bad as I want you, huh?”
You feel his fingers run along the elastic of your underwear and begin to slip them down your legs. This time, you really do gasp. And Gojo certainly heard it if his dark chuckle is anything to go by. 
“I’m not fucking around, Gojo,” you let out desperately, knowing where things are about to head, “This is fucked up. You’re my step brother, and there’s no way in hell I’d sleep with you. If you let me go now, I won’t tell our parents.”
By this point your panties are on the floor and your skirt isn’t covering any part of your ass. “Oh, go ahead and tell them, princess,” Gojo remarks as his fingers draw closer to your cunt. “Let ‘em know how good your step brother makes you feel. Family comes first. And in this case,” his longer digits finally reach your pussy, “you’ll be coming in more ways than one.”
He runs a finger up and down your slit, and as much as you try and fight back, your body gives into the pleasure, especially when his fingers reach your clit and begin to roll against the bundle of nerves. “Thaaaat’s it,” he purrs, “Almost like this body was made for me the way I know it like the back of my hand, hm?”
He picks up the pace at which he rubs your clit and suddenly inserts a finger inside your cunt. “Dripping already and you really had the nerve to pretend you didn’t want this. Kind of a sorry attempt to maintain your modesty, sweetheart.”
Pumping his finger in and out of you, you're beginning to lose the strength in your legs. If it weren’t for the fact that your upper torso was held up by the dryer, your legs might have given out. 
“G-Gojo, we shouldn’t-” 
He cuts you off, “You’re really going to tell me you don’t want this while you’re soaked already? Your mouth is saying one thing, but this pussy is saying another, sweetheart.”
As if to prove you wrong, he adds another finger and picks up the speed at which he’s scissoring your poor pussy. You let out a moan and allow yourself to push back against his fingers, barely mindful of your snagged sweater that landed you in this mess in the first place. 
You’re embarrassed to say (and you’d never admit this to Gojo), but you’re getting increasingly closer to your orgasm. You’ve been with your fair share of guys, sure, but no boy has ever made you feel as good as Gojo was making you feel right now. 
And that drove you nuts. 
Before you could stop yourself, you let out a moan. The pleasure of Gojo’s fingers on your clit and in your cunt was making your mind hazy and forgetful of the promise you made to yourself to not reveal how good Gojo was making you feel with his fingers alone. It was only a matter of time before your legs gave out completely if you’re being honest with yourself. 
“Oh?” Gojo asks tauntingly, “You enjoying yourself, pretty? What happened to that bratty mouth of yours? You just needed that attitude fucked right out of you, yeah?” 
Since Gojo already heard your moan and knew how your body was responding to his stimulation, you all but dropped your resolve and made no efforts to hold your noises back. After all, you were getting closer and closer to your release, and your brain hardly had the capacity to stay silent while taking his fingers. 
The lewd sounds of Gojo’s fingers pumping in and out of you were nothing short of filthy, and you’re almost ashamed to admit it turned you on even more. “Hear that?” Gojo asked as he continued his rhythm. “It’s like she’s calling out for me. You’re close, right?”
You whine at the question. 
“There’s no need to respond, sweetheart. I already know the answer,” Gojo quips with a smile. “But I think this pretty pussy of yours can be a bit louder… How about we pick up the pace a bit, yeah? Maybe add another finger? You can take it, right?”
Before you can respond, he adds another one of his long fingers and is plunging in and out of you at a mind bending pace. Your voice is shaky at best as you whine at the feeling. “Fuck,” you moan, “S-Sato-”
The white-haired boy smiles at your broken speech and the (attempted) use of his first name, “What was that, baby? Trying to moan your step brother’s name, let everyone know how deep his fingers are in your pussy?”
“Ugh,” you groan, trying to muster up the last bits of willpower you have left, “fuck you.”
He laughs at your comment and is half impressed that you’re still able to talk back. “Hm, still talking shit? Don’t worry, my tongue and cock will take care of that riiiight away. But first,” his pace gets impossibly faster, “you’re gonna cum all over my fingers.”
As if by magic, you came immediately after the words left his mouth. If you weren’t already a bit fucked out, you would have pondered how Gojo seemed to already know your body better than you did. 
Gojo pulls his fingers out of your sopping cunt and sucks them clean. “Hm,” he hums, “Tastes even better than I imagined. You’ll let me get another taste, right? I mean, that’s the least you can do for your step brother after he made you cum so nicely on his fingers.”
He slowly lowers himself to the floor as you process his words, and before you could formulate a response, his tongue is on your pussy. You gasp out and would be tempted to reach back and grab his hair if your arms weren’t stuck inside the damn dryer. 
Gojo groans into your pussy, “Fuck, sweetheart, you tasted amazing on my fingers, but I like it even better from the source.”
He dives back in and has you moaning out for more. The way he moves his lips up and down your slit and rolls his tongue around your clit feels heavenly, despite the fact that the boy is the devil himself. 
Your legs are growing noticeably weaker, and Gojo loops his arms around your lower thighs to keep you in place and pull your cunt closer to his greedy mouth. Even then, your lower half is twitching in stimulation. Despite the tremors, you try to push your hips against Gojo’s face even more, and he lets out a laugh at the feeling. If you could see Gojo, you would see how much your sounds and movements are affecting him. He’s already high on the feeling of tongue-fucking you. But from inside the dryer, you can’t see that he’s as hard as a fucking rock, and his leaking cock is straining against his sweatpants to the point where it’s almost painful. 
His tongue settles on your clit and begins to alternate from sucking to rubbing figure eights on the bud. You’re really hoping no one else is home. Because if someone is, there’s no way they wouldn’t hear your desperate moans that are only increasing in volume as Gojo continues to eat you out like your pussy is his last meal. 
“Satoru, that feels so fucking good,” you sigh, leaning your head down to rest against the wall of the dryer since you’re unable to keep it up. 
“Oh, it’s Satoru now, is it?” he asks mockingly as he leans back and lets his fingers continue the pleasure on your clit, “You’re telling me all I had to do to get on your nice side was suck on this pretty pussy? Sweetheart, I would have done that for free.”
He leans back in and latches his tongue to your clit once more, picking up the pace and intensity of his sucking. With the little leg strength you have left, you bounce the lower half of your body against Gojo’s mouth continuously in an attempt to increase the stimulation. 
‘She wants to ride my tongue, huh?’ Gojo thinks to himself. ‘She’ll have all the time in the world to do that when I get her to sit on my face.’
Gojo’s turned on even more at the thought of you suffocating him with your thighs as your cunt drops on to his lips. He’ll have to experience it soon before the idea drives him even closer to insanity. 
Fuck, he couldn’t get enough of you.
He moans into your pussy, and the vibrations almost make you cum on the spot. The feeling is so good your eyes are nearly rolling back in your head. You’re really glad Gojo can’t see your face or he’d never let you forget the fucked out look in your eyes. However, what you don’t know is that Gojo won’t let you forget how good he fucked you no matter what your facial expressions looked like- those were just the cherry on top. 
“I’m so close, Satoru,” you whine, “Please don’t stop.”
You continue to grind on his face, shaking with pleasure and beginning to feel beads of sweat form on your forehead from the heat of the tongue-fucking coupled with the warmth of the dryer. 
The dam broke when Gojo landed a loud smack on your ass. You yelped and your legs gave way fully as you released all over his face. Gojo licked up every last drop of your cum and left kisses around your inner thighs before he pulled away. 
“Damn,” he breathed out as he rubbed his hand against the cheek he just spanked, “I didn’t take you for the masochist type, little sis. Got any other secrets I should know about? Or should I just find them out myself?
You whine at the feeling of his hand on your ass. You know there’ll be a mark there tomorrow. But you couldn’t focus on the long-term consequences of what was happening right now in the laundry room. It was fucked up, of course, but it felt so good that you didn’t even care how wrong it was. 
“Satoru,” you spoke, voice a bit hoarse from moaning, “need you to fuck me.”
Gojo tilts his head in faux confusion, “What was that, princess? I didn’t quite catch that. I mean, you are stuck in the dryer, after all. How else would I have been able to get you this easy and exposed for me?”
You groan in equal parts irritation and desperation. If you weren’t so fucked out already, you would have certainly cussed him out by now. 
“I said,” you repeat more firmly, “I need you to fuck me.”
He hums, “What? No “please”? And here I thought I’d fucked some manners into you. I guess all you respond to is cock, huh?” He brings his hand down against your ass once more. “Why don’t you try again, sweetheart?”
“Please,” you beg, “Please, please, please fuck me, Satoru. I need your cock so bad.”
You know he’s got that bratty smile on his face when he hears your words. His little step sister wants his cock, and who is he to deny her?
He quickly pulls down his sweats and spits on it before pumping it a few times. He rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit before lining it up with your entrance. 
“Wait,” you manage to snap out of your daze, “Satoru, we need condoms.”
He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “Condoms? Baby, don’t you trust your step brother? You know I’m clean.”
You open your mouth to refuse, but your mind gets more and more hazy as he rubs his cock against your folds. 
“And besides,” Gojo grunts, “You’ll be begging for my cum soon enough.”
Without another word, Gojo slides into you. You curse out loud. He’s not even all the way in, and he feels fucking huge. The tip alone is wide enough that the ring of your pussy stretches uncomfortably and you feel it sting. And, fuck, even though it feels like he’s been pushing in for forever, he’s still not done. 
“Fucking, fuck,” you gasp, “Are you all the way in yet?
You can’t see his length, but as he pushes deeper and deeper inside your wet pussy, you suspect he’s got to be somewhere around 9 inches at least. Of course, the rich, popular, pretty boy has a massive cock, because he’s just so infuriatingly perfect.
“Just about, sweetheart,” he hisses and finally bottoms out, “What? Don’t tell me you want to back out now. You’re the one who wanted this, remember? My bratty little slut of a step sister can’t take the cock she begged for just a minute ago?”
You bite your lip and try to adjust to his gigantic length. Once the burn subsides, you feel the pleasure seep in. You’ve never felt so full. It was as if he were in your guts, and if you could look at your abdomen, you’d see his cock bulging from your tummy. You could only imagine how much fuller you’d feel when he actually came.
And although you had been apprehensive earlier, now the idea of Gojo cumming deep inside you nearly had you drooling. Better yet, his cock is so massive that instead of drooling saliva, you imagined his cum dripping from your mouth because he had filled up your pussy past the brim. 
“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer, sweetheart,” Gojo groans and begins to fuck into you. “You’re so fucking tight it feels like your pussy is suffocating my cock.”
You moan at his words and try to picture his face as he takes you from behind. Gojo has always been attractive- that was never up for debate. But you could only imagine how hot he’d look with his eyebrows furrowed as he bit down on his pretty pink lips and sweat rolled down the sides of his face. You bet his white hair would stick to his forehead a bit, and you’d kill to run your fingers along his uppercut while he fucked you. 
That can be for another time. 
“Oh, my God,” you cry out as he pounds into you, “Just like that, Satoru, don’t stop.”
He playfully rolls his eyes as if your pussy wasn’t frying his brain too, “So demanding,” he tuts. 
Picking up the pace, Gojo begins to slam his hips against yours even harder. He lands another spank on your ass and grabs your hips tightly with his free hand.
When was the last time you got laid? You can’t even remember when the dick you’re getting now is so good. And you certainly have never had a guy this big before, that’s for sure. But you almost feel like a virgin, because you have never been fucked like this before. It was an experience you hadn’t even considered until now.
“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Gojo professes, “Every time I’d hear you touching yourself in your room, I wanted to kick the door down and take care of you myself.”
If you weren't so absolutely cockdrunk already, you would have been positively flushed with embarrassment at his comment given you thought you’d been so quiet and strategic about when you played with yourself. 
“Fucking hell,” Gojo removed his hand from your ass pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I even thought about sneaking cameras into your room to get an exclusive glimpse of what you looked like all needy and desperate to cum.” 
You gasped at the vulgar statement and felt yourself grow strangely wetter. 
Since when did any yandere behavior turn you on? 
Gojo laughs when he feels you tighten around him. “Oh, you like that? Well, now that I have this pussy, I’m never letting it go. No need for those cameras anymore, sweetheart. Why watch clips when I have this cunt instead?”
You really felt like you were going insane at this point. His cock is bullying itself into your cunt at an almost bruising pace. You could feel your wetness run down your thighs and your cheeks burn with embarrassment imagining the mess you’ve made on the floor from the amount of cum you’ve released. 
Gojo’s not faring any better. He felt like he would bust almost immediately after pushing into you, but he’d be damned if he fucked up this moment- the moment he had been imagining and wait for since the first time he laid eyes on you. 
“Oh, step sister,” Gojo said in a sing-song voice in between grunts, “Could you imagine if Mom and Dad walked in on us now? What would they say, seeing your precious little cunt be stretched out by your step brother’s cock, huh?”
Moaning at the thought, you try to close your legs a bit at the overstimulation.
“Oh, no you don’t,” Gojo quips and pulls your legs apart before shoving a hand between them and attaches his fingers to your abused clit. “There’s no way you’re getting away from my cock until you’re filled with my cum and can’t remember a thing except my name. Got it?”
You nod your head but immediately receive another spank. “Words, princess.”
“Yes!” you cry. Since there are tears welling up in your eyes, you’re now sweating, drooling, and crying. Gojo must hear your sniffling since he remarks, “Next time, I’ll take you from the front. That way, I’ll be able to see your face when I fuck you dumb.”
His words get progressively dirtier as he pounds into you. He’s so caught up in the sensation of your pussy clenching around his cock that he’s almost rambling nonsense at this point. 
“Do you know how hard it is not to push you down face-first on the counter when you walk into the kitchen wearing those tight dresses or short skirts? It’s crazy how I've waited this long to fuck you,” he pants. “Fuck, I’ll have to take pictures of you after I’m finished fucking this sloppy pussy so I can show all my friends what they're missing.”
You never imagined you’d be into voyeurism, but the way Gojo is describing how he’d photograph and record you to show you off to his friends like some prize to be won has you moaning out even louder. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire. And everything Gojo is saying and doing is only adding fuel. 
He was reaching parts of you that you didn’t even know could be reached. And he could tell by your reactions how good you felt taking his cock.
“Poor little girl,” he sighed out, “I bet you were getting tired of playing with this pretty pussy all by yourself, right? Your fingers just weren’t long enough to reach right…. here.” He hits your g-spot head on, and it has you screaming out his name. He rams against the spot over and over again, and you swear you’re seeing stars. 
His stamina should be studied by scientists the way he’s relentless as he pounds into you without any sign of slowing down. You knew for a fact that you would have collapsed onto the floor if not for the dryer door and Gojo’s arms keeping you up. You felt like a ragdoll with the way he was fucking you. You weren’t a person in this moment, you were his own personal fleshlight. And he’d be damned if he let you walk away without your pussy perfectly molded to fit his dick and his alone- not that you’ll be able to do much walking for a while anyway. 
“Y-you so big, Satoru,” you exhale, “I swear I can feel you in my throat.”
He laughs at your cockdrunk comment, “Believe me, sweetheart. Next time, my cock will be in that throat.”
He starts rubbing your clit even faster than before, and you’re doing everything you can not to scream your throat raw. It’s like Gojo has some sixth sense for your facial expressions since he barks, “Don’t you dare keep that mouth closed. I waited too long to fuck this tight pussy for you to hold back your screams.”
Your ass shakes as he spanks you multiple times in a row. With each spank, your moans get louder, your ass now bright red and warm to the touch. 
Removing his hand from your waist, your legs fumble. You’re barely standing upright, and practically all your weight rests on the where you body slumps over the dryer. “You better keep standing, pretty.” Gojo taunts. “Because you’re gonna have a much harder time taking my cock if you slip.” He threatens you as if he wouldn’t just fuck your boneless body on the floor, but he feels you tighten even more with his empty threat. 
Using his free hand, he spits on his fingers and brings them to your ass. Your eyes shoot open when you feel one of his digits run against the rim of your ass. “S-Satoru, what are you d-doing?” you stammer out, trying your best to form remotely coherent sentences. 
“What am I d-doing?” Gojo mocks. “Well, I’m just showing this hole some love too. Must have felt left out seeing your pussy be stuffed so nicely, yeah?”
He runs his finger along the rim and leans down to spit another dab of saliva on the hole all while keeping up his cock’s brutal pace and unforgiving assault on your clit. 
You clear your throat and shake your head in a poor attempt to clear your mind. “S-Satoru, I haven’t done anything there yet,” you pant. “Y-you shouldn’t do that.”
He smiles almost sinisterly, “Oh, I think I should, sweetheart. And that’s what I’m gonna do.”
Without any warning, he pushes his finger into your ass, and you yelp at the foreign sensation. You’d never tried anal with any of your past boyfriends. This was entirely new terrain. 
And Gojo dismissed your apprehension like he was swatting a fly. 
If anyone else did something like that to you, you’d wring their necks. So why did it feel so damn good when Gojo did it?
You moan louder as he begins to pump the digit in and out slowly, his spit acting as makeshift lube for the tight muscle. The combined sensations of your clit, cunt, and ass being played with was driving you insane. 
“F-fuck, Satoru,” you nearly wail, “I can’t take anymore, it’s too much!”
He shakes his head in mock disappointment, “Oh, no, pretty. You can and will take it. You’re not done until I say you are.”
You’re fully sobbing by this point. You can’t tell where your tears end and where your drool begins. Your whole body is shaking and not just because of Gojo’s unforgiving pounding. 
“I’m so close,” you exclaim, “F-feel like I’m going to explode.” You didn’t even know how to explain what you were feeling at this point. 
“Explode, huh?” Gojo questions as he bites back a groan, “Well, that sounds exciting. How could you possibly ask me to stop now? We’re gonna miss the best part.”
You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you taste the metallic flavor of blood that mixes with the excess saliva in your mouth from all your drooling. And if you were actually able to think clearly, you would have noticed the saltiness from your tears as well. 
“S-Satoru!” you scream. “I think I’m gonna-”
You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before you’re squirting all over your and Gojo’s legs, the floor, the side of the dryer. Your whole body is trembling, and you feel as if you’ve been electrocuted. You’re still crying out as Gojo brings both of his hands down to your hips to fuck you even harder. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Gojo moans loudly, “Did you just squirt? Fucking god, I can’t wait to lick it off you.” His pace is as rough as ever, but it feels even more intense since you just had the strongest orgasm of your entire life. “I’m gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, and then no other guy will want my sloppy seconds, yeah? This pussy belongs to me now.”
Gojo fucks into you one, two, three more times before he’s shooting thick, hot ropes of cum deep into your weeping pussy, still unbearably sensitive from squirting. If you weren’t so fucked out of your mind, you would have been mortified that you squirted- on Gojo and because of Gojo, nonetheless. 
It feels like ages before his cock stops filling you with his seed and he finally stills inside of you. That’s a miracle if ever you’ve seen one, because you thought you would die if he kept going. 
You both wince as he pulls out, and he watches in awe as his cum spills from your cunt. You hear him rustle through his discarded clothes on the floor before you hear the click of a camera. This little sound effect draws you from your haze a bit.
“G-Gojo!” you yell. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
You can hear a pout in his voice. “Gojo? What happened to Satoru, hm? Is that name only reserved for when I fuck you?”
“Delete that immediately!” you wiggle in place. 
He just scoffs and shakes his head. “Oh? You really want me to delete it? Because I could have swore you were just smothering my cock when I told you how badly I wanted to take pics of you after I’d fucked you stupid.”
You huff and are about to argue back when you feel him run his fingers against your thighs once more, and your words are caught in your throat.
“Speaking of which…” Gojo hums, “I must not have fucked you hard enough if you can still talk back to me…”
Your breath hitches. 
“I guess that just means I’ll have to fuck you again then, won’t I?” Gojo thinks aloud and grabs your ass with both hands. “Like I said, family comes first.”
---
if you made it this far...thanks guys lmao
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partially-controlled-chaos · 2 months ago
Text
Guilty Pleasures
Pairing: Halsin x GN!Reader Rating: Mature/Explicit (NSFW) Warnings: Male masturbation, sexual fantasies, angst with no real resolution, mutual pining, Halsin not being able to relax and take a break for once in his life. Absolutely NSFW. Maybe kinda sort Sub Halsin? Summary: With the shadow curse and the threat of Ketheric Thorm looming over him, Halsin manages to find a bit of solitude in his tent and indulge in his inner most fantasies. Word Count: 9.7K A/N: I’ve always loved Halsin’s line of “that was something I had dreamed about for some time” after spending his first night with him. So, naturally, you can’t tell me this man absolutely didn’t fantasize about the player while alone in his tent at night.  I also want to apologize in advance because I know parts of this feel rushed, but admittedly I've been working this piece for a few months here and there and I'm ready to see it off. I am still pleased with how this turned out, but admittedly isn't my best work out there. I've also developed a cold at the time of proofreading, so I apologize for any errors but I *think* I've gotten them all. Read on AO3 here!
The sharpened steel of a heavy sword clanged to the cobblestones below, the sound resonating through the area, deafening everything to an eerie silence. Halsin stood stone still, his breath coming in heaves as he downed the final foe on the battle field. The shadow-infested husk of a Harper collapsed to the ground at his feet, smoking tendrils dissipating into the air as the essence of what was once a person faded into the darkened sky. Halsin's eyes darted across the landscape, a sudden wave of guilt washing over him as he stared into the never-ending darkness ahead. Bodies, both old and new, littered the streets ahead, having succumbed to the curse that held the land in an ironclad vice for a century.
The feeling of guilt wasn’t new, considering he’d dealt with the pain from the moment the curse was born, but there was something more sinister about seeing the curse firsthand again after so many years away. It seemed hungrier, more vicious even, than he had previously remembered and for the time being, the curse was not ready to be lifted. Thaniel had been plucked from the depths of the Shadowfell and after a fair amount of convincing, Oliver had reunited with his other half. Both were resting safely back at camp, progressing well with healing and mending after being apart for so long, but the threat was certainly far from over. 
Halsin stared into the distance, looking past the bodies in the streets and the twisted, knotted roots of corrupted nature that broke through the stones and into buildings, and set his attention on Moonrise Towers. Ketheric Thorm still drew breath and if what Thaniel had said was true, as long as he remained on this mortal plane, the shadow curse would as well. There was some hope that had started blooming within the mind of the druid, knowing that Thaniel was safe and so much progress had been made towards lifting the curse, but admittedly there was still enough darkness in the world that kept him from becoming too hopeful. Ketheric was a formidable foe and defeating him would be no simple task.
He tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword, his knuckles almost turning white from the pressure. Knowing that a seemingly invulnerable man lived once again and had power while so many had died in the past century because of his corruption filled Halsin with a burning rage; one that settled in his bones and set his skin ablaze. Ketheric must be stopped, at any costs, and Halsin knew he couldn’t truly rest until Ketheric lay dead at his feet and she sun shined down upon the land once more. Halsin’s gaze lingered on the towers in the distance, looming over the land like a beacon ablaze with pixie-fueled light all while shadows licked at his perimeters. 
“Halsin?” A gentle voice pierced through the darkness clouding his thoughts, pulling the veil from his eyes so he could see clearly for the time being. A soft, warm touch to his arm soon followed, cutting through the icy cold that had begun to settle on his skin from the air of the shadow curse. The voice had caught him by surprising, causing the druid to jolt slightly at the touch before regaining composure. He finally tore his eyes from the evil of Moonrise, shifting his eyes downward until your concerned look met his gaze.
“Are you all right?” You asked quietly, your hand still gripping his arm. You scanned over his large frame quickly, scanning for any obvious signs of injury or something life threatening and, much to your joy, found nothing immediately wrong. He fidgeted slightly under your touch, his skin tingling at the contact.
“I am,” he said after clearing this throat, “thank you, my friend.” You nodded slightly, your thumb stroking along the crest of his bicep. Halsin was visibly exhausted, dark circles settling beneath his normally bright eyes, which had dulled the past few days. His mind was elsewhere, distracting him from the battles at hand. Despite having your hand upon him, he felt miles away and untouchable.
Since entering the cursed lands, Halsin had been running double time. He wasted no time in leaving camp to sit by Art Cullagh in Last Light and immediately dove headfirst through a portal to the Shadowfell to find Thaniel. You took note of how he refused to sleep the night after Thaniel had been saved, instead electing to remain up for hours to keep a watchful eye on the boy. He only agreed to leave his side once you had suggested he come with you to find Thaniel’s missing half. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you saw Halsin rest and, considering he was seemingly more on edge the closer you came to confronting Ketheric, you were worried for you companion.
“Come on,” you said after a moment, “let’s head back to camp. I think we could all do with a rest.” You motioned to your companions, who were more than ready to retire for the evening.
Halsin’s gaze shifted towards Moonrise once again, look on his face making it clear he wanted to press forward. You were convinced that he’d march straight into the inner sanctum of the tower right then and there if you let him. Your grip on his arm tightened, your fingers slipping underneath one of the bands that was pulled taught around his bicep before giving it a gentle tug to recapture his attention. You stood on the tips of your toes, your lips hovering closely to his ear as he leaned slightly to accommodate for the difference in height.
“I’m afraid that if we keep going in this state,” you whispered softly, “one of us might actually be carrying Astarion back to camp and I, for one, do not intend to be that pack mule.” Halsin’s lips spread into a smile as he glanced towards the vampire in question, who had seated himself on a fallen piece of stone until the party was ready to move forward once more.
“I fear you may be right.” He replied after a moments thought. Halsin returned his sword to its holster resting on his back, sliding it in place with a soft click. You pulled your fingers from his bracers, seemingly satisfied with his answer, and began the journey back to camp. 
As he typically did, Halsin followed in the rear, ensuring that everyone stayed together and did not stray too deeply into the shadows. Despite having the blessing of both the moon goddess and a pixie, he wanted to take no changes in losing those closest to him to the curse; not again. You fell behind slightly, allowing Astarion and Karlach to spearhead the journey home as you took the time to speak with the druid.
“Is something on your mind?” You asked as you walked together, doing your best to match his long strides.
“Ketheric is no ordinary enemy,” he said bluntly, deciding to skip small talk and get to the heart of what was bothering him, “he will not be easily defeated.”
“Nothing with us is ever easy,” you said simply, “but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I promised you that we’d break the curse. And if defeating Ketheric Thorm is how we do so, then that’s just what we’ll do.” You offered Halsin a gentle smile, which was returned with partial enthusiasm. You knew he was worried, and rightfully so, but you were also confident that at Ketheric would be defeated soon enough. But nothing could be done until everyone, including Halsin, were able to rest. 
You and your companions walked the rest of the way to camp in silence and in relative safety, the battles from the day beginning to settle in your bones as your steps eventually slowed the closer you came to camp. By the time you crested the hill that lead to your camp, the sound of children’s laughter filled the air, cutting through the horrific sounds of the shadow curse like a sharpened knife. A smile came to Halsins lips as he watched both Thaniel and Oliver darting around camp, chasing after an excited Scratch with an equally enthusiastic owl bear cub at their heels. Despite their time apart and in the deepest parts of the shadow curse, both boys seemed to be faring well. Seeing them regaining strength brought a sense of happiness to the camp, something that had been sorely missed since entering the shadows.
Halsin stood at the entrance to the camp, simply watching as the boys and animals played in tandem. It was a small sign, but a sign nonetheless that nature had started to heal and had begun lifting the veil of the shadows. You walked to this side quietly, stopping beside him to watch the boys play and laugh with the camp animals as the rest of your companions stopped by their respective tents to unwind for the evening. You glanced up to Halsin, your neck craning to get his face in full view. You slipped your hand around the edge of his, giving him a soft squeeze. After a moment, Halsin pulled his eyes from the scene before him, finally looking down to meet your gaze once more. You could see the exhaustion in his eyes, yet the sheer determination to stay awake.
“Why don’t you get some rest? And I mean actual rest, not just a trance.” You asked softly, not wanting to come across as demanding, but firm enough to know you were more than merely suggesting. 
Halsin gave a half hearted smile, exhaustion evident on his face as he placed his hand above yours, sandwiching your touch between his battle weary hands. His thumb stroked your knuckle softly, his gaze settling along your slender digits that had wrapped themselves around his hand and gave another reassuring squeeze. His heart fluttered in his chest at your contact, radiating the same calming warmth that had started when you first brushed against his arm. He’d be lying if he said a long nights rest wasn’t calling for him, but he had a duty to uphold before he could indulge his own comfort.
“I must keep watch over Thaniel and Oliver.” He said as he released your hand and pulled his own from your grasp. You scoffed at his reply, almost finding it ridiculous.
“There are seven people in this camp, myself included, that can keep an eye on two children. We can take turns, rotate out if needed.” You offered, hoping he would take your advice and take a night off for once. Instead, he simply shook his head.
“They are my responsibility. They’ve suffered for too long already while I sat back and did nothing. I cannot and I will not fail them now that they are safe.” Halsin was determined to carry on his camp duties as normal, but you were not ready to back down so easily.
“And how do you plan on protecting them if you’re too tired to stand? Just now on the battlefield someone could have come up behind you because you were distracted. Hells, I managed to startle you with a touch.” Your voice was low, but firm. Gods be damned the man before you could be stubborn. His heart was always in the right place, wanting to protect and serve, but his head certainly wasn’t. “Get a bit of sleep. I’ll bring you a fresh bowl of whatever Gale’s managed to make from a couple of fish heads and a few questionable carrots when it’s ready.”
“You don’t have to coddle,” Halsin said firmly, “I will be fine.”
“It’s not coddling if the attention is required.” You shot back quickly, a lick of frustration to your voice, “Would you not do the same for me if the roles were reversed?” Halsin paused at your question, unable to argue your point. Halsin would do anything you asked of him without question. He’d bring you whatever you wanted and offer aid in any way possible. 
“When was the last time you allowed someone to take care of you?” Your voice had softened by now, eyes scanning his face as he searched for an answer. Your eyes locked onto his cheek, which had been streaked with blood.
Halsin remained silent, trying to come up with an answer for your inquiry, but continually ending up without a decent answer. It had been quite some time since he’d allowed himself a chance to relax and unwind, let alone be cared for by others. His service was always demanded by others, yet very rarely offered in return. The residents of the Grove always turned to him for strength, to lead them in Silvanus’ path while keeping tempers at bay, more often than not never managing to appease everyone who resided there and often led to resentment in some form. Or those same people were coming to him day and night, asking for healing of wounds that ranged from the smallest of scrapes to the precipice of death, despite having multiple healers in the inner chambers. 
He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he gave up control and let someone else take the reigns. He was an Archdruid, a leader, a beacon of light in the darkest of times, but he was also just tired. He admitted to himself that perhaps it would be nice to take a long rest, only awakening when he was ready, and to have you by his side when his slumber ended. To have you seated beside him, a bowl of steaming food in your hands as you offered it to him would be quite the sight. You’d have your usual warm smile across your pretty lips as you sat with him, letting him relax and unwind in your presence. It was a pretty dream indeed.
“You’ll have to let me dote on you one of these days.” You said after a long silence as Halsin had yet to answer your question. You brought your thumb to your lips, swiping your tongue across the pad of the digit quickly until it was lightly damp. Reaching forward, you pressed your palm to Halsin’s cheek and used your now wet thumb to wipe the streak of blood from his skin. You were thankful to not find an injury beneath the blood, but found yourself lingering against his skin, your thumb stroking over his cheekbone. You cared for him, deeply, despite Halsin always finding a way to weave out of your advances. Perhaps you were too forward or perhaps he was simply that consumed with his duties, but either way you craved his attention more and more with each day that passed.
Halsin fought the urge to lean into your embrace, having rejected your advances in the weeks prior during the celebration with the tieflings and not wanting to give mixed signals, but the longer your gentle hand caressed his cheek, the urge became more and more difficult to suppress. Gods how he missed the caring touch of others. It had been too long since the last time he allowed himself the pleasure of sharing company with another, the issue of the curse and the stress of the Grove had made any sort of companionship less than a priority and something he easily could push to the side. However, since being in your company, the ease that he previously had at keeping others at arm length was becoming harder and harder to allow. 
It would be an understatement to say he enjoyed your company. Instead, you were someone he had craved. Every moment he spent in your presence was exhilarating, refreshing and addicting at the same time. The sound of your voice was symphonic, the way you managed to find joy even in the bleak lands of late and managed to keep a genuine smile on your face, given the worst of times, was inspiring. He craved your attention and longed for more than just your friendship for quite some time. It was an ache that tunneled deeper in his chest each night when his head went down to rest and the ability to continually push you away was becoming unbearable. The feeling of your skin against his always sent his heart into a whirlwind, fluttering in his chest like a butterfly tumbling in the wind. Halsin wanted so much more with you than mere companionship, but knew that now was not the time nor the place. Too much was at stake to allow himself distractions of the flesh, no matter how desirable they may be. So, as much as it pained him to do so, he walled himself off and pushed you away once more. 
“Perhaps another time.” He said simply, almost ready to pull away from your touch. His demeanor was stiff and cold, far from the welcoming aura he normally emitted.
You felt your heart drop, falling heavily into the pit of your stomach. Having realized that perhaps you had been lingering a bit too long, you pulled your hand from his cheek and returned them to yourself, awkwardly picking at your nails as silence between the two of you grew. You desperately tried to hide the feelings in you that were bubbling to the surface; hurt mixed with some sort frustration. Halsin was a tricky one to figure out. He was kind, caring, and truly wonderful company to have, but any sort of affection on your part was always met with the same rejection. Always gentle in nature, of course, but certainly there. You were fond of Halsin, more than just a casual friendship, but you were beginning to realize that maybe your feelings were one sided.
Halsin felt his heart stop upon seeing your reaction. You were quick to try and hide your disappointment, but it still managed to slip through for the briefest of moments. He knew you were fond of him, perhaps in more ways than one, and he would be a fool to deny he felt the same. You were precious to him, more so than any other he’d previously had the privilege of calling friend and confidant, and knowing that he had caused you even the quickest moments of sadness made him feel terrible. He wanted to reach up and take your hands in his and press his lips to your fingers, but you had swatted him away before he had the chance.
“Go on,” you said quietly, motioning in the direction of his distant tent with a few waves of your hand, “get some rest. I’ll keep an eye out for Thaniel and Oliver.” You took a step back, inching back as slowly as you could, waiting for Halsin to do the same. As much as you wanted to break through his exterior and get to the heart of whatever was causing him trouble, you respected his need to be alone, as much as it pained you to be kept at arms length.
With a slight nod of his head, Halsin made his leave, not wishing to turn this into a more serious argument. In his heart, he knew you meant well and also knew that both halves of the land spirit would be safe under your watch. He turned to return to his tent after you had also made your leave, walking to the opposite end of camp with a disheartened sigh. He made the agonizingly long walk from the center of camp to his secluded corner of the area in silence, tugging open the flap to his tent in a fluid motion. 
Halsin’s little plot of land in camp was quiet and tucked away from the other tents, offering as much tranquility as the shadow lands would offer, but was admittedly lonely. Despite choosing the spot himself, Halsin had recently begun to regret setting his tent so far from the others. Duty and responsibility came first, so jovial nights around the campfire passing bottles of wine were nothing if not a distraction. Secluding himself would keep him focused on the task at hand and, for now, thankfully keep him out of your sullied gaze.
Halsin stripped himself of his bands and bracers, tossing them into his bed space with a frustrated flick of his wrist. His boots and weapons were left by the entrance, out of the way but close by if they were needed in a hurry. He was frustrated with himself for just how desperately he wanted to be with you but not having the opportunity to do so. It would be a fools dream to think you would still be interested in him once the curse was lifted, considering just how long it would actually take, and now combined with the knowledge that he had wounded your feelings once more. His heart ached at the thought of knowing your delicate heart had been shattered so easily.
He cursed himself as he stepped inside, making sure to close the tent behind him. Halsin stripped himself of his armor, tossing the garments to the side so he could change into his usual night clothes. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, you were correct. Sleep was sorely needed and any sort of apology or resolution to this new problem would need to wait until morning. Halsin was having trouble concentration, not being able to focus on the task at hand. He ran his hands across his face and into his hair, lightly tugging at his scalp in the process.
With a soft sigh, Halsin laid himself on the ground, nestling his frame against the fabric of his bedroll as he settled for the evening. He shifted as he tried to find a comfortable spot, his shoulders rustling against the ground in an attempt to dislodge any loose pebbles or larger rocks that may be in the way. Eventually, he settled into a position that was comfortable enough for the evening, his hands and arms taking their place at his sides and his eyes closed so he could begin drifting off into a trace or, if he was lucky, a few hours of actual sleep. The rhythmic sound of wind rustling in the tree limbs and leave hanging above his tent and the low hum of sounds from the center of the camp should have been enough to lull him into the beginning phases of a trance, yet he found himself awake and unable to sleep. 
The usual intrusive thoughts were ever present, of course. The imminent dangers of the shadow curse, making sure Thaniel,  and now Oliver, were well and safe, even the mistakes of his past wove their way into his thoughts and sat heavily on his conscious. But tonight they were quieted and offered nothing more than a faint echo in his mind. Instead, his usual thoughts were being drowned out by something much more prominent and enticing to the forefront of his mind; you. Halsin couldn’t deny the impact you had on his thoughts, which had only grown increasingly more frequent and intense as each day passed in your company. Your kindness and eagerness to help others weighed heavily in his mind, but even more so on his heart. To say you were a delight would be doing you a disservice. 
And more than anything, Halsin wanted you completely. He wanted to be by your side in the upcoming fight against Ketheric and the Absolute, but he wanted everything else that came with that. He wanted to enjoy your company in a more intimate way; to be the one that kept your bed warm at night, to feel the brush of your lips against his, and the feeling of his body sinking deliciously into yours. He could imagine the tightness you would offer, the loving and welcoming warmth that would take him completely, even the sweet noises he could elect from you with the correct moments. He ached for you and that was a feeling that was growing with each passing second.
His eyes remained open, scanning the canvas ceiling of his simple tent as he allowed his mind to unwind in an attempt to drift off into a peaceful meditation, soon finding that his wandering thoughts found no purchase in their usual subject matter. Lingering regrets concerning Emerald Grove, the dangers ever present in the shadow curse, and now the problem of the growing illithid infection festering deep within Moonrise Towers were long forgotten as he focused on something much more pressing and mind consuming. Halsin was suddenly overtaken with the memory of your hands running along his skin earlier in the evening. He longed to feel your touch again, if even for a just passing second. 
Halsin focused his thoughts, doing his best to push you from his mind as he tried to settle for the night. You were right when you said he needed sleep and he tried his best to oblige in your request, but the image of you continued to gnaw on his psyche. You were infectious in that sense; able to burrow into his thoughts just as the tadpole had buried itself in your brain. He couldn’t think normally with you flitting around his thoughts like this, but could only imagine the sweetest and most sinful thoughts he’d had in long while.
Halsin’s eyes closed as he allowed himself to indulge in his fantasy, unable to shake the image of you from his mind. He imagined himself elsewhere. Far away from the shadows, away from the ever pressing darkness and chill the curse offered; a place that was warm and bright, nestled somewhere in a heavily wooded forest. Not the Grove, of course, for it was far too political and too demanding with little care going towards what actually mattered. But instead, he imagined a place where the shadows of the present ceased to exist and land could flourish in harmony and tranquility. Perhaps he was dreaming of a world of fantasy and indulgence, but it was a place that brought him inner peace. A gentle calmness washed over his racing mind, bringing the thrum of his heart to a slow, steady pace as he imagined his own back settling against the form of your body in this fantasy world he had created. 
He could almost feel the softness of your body against his back as he reclined against you, his large frame seated perfectly between your legs, his back resting along your chest while his head fit perfectly under your chin. From here, he could imagine himself getting lost in your gentle touches and soft voice. He found himself leaning against you like a drowsy cat in the mid afternoon sun, simply enjoying the warmth of your caresses as your fingers played with his hair, twisting and braiding locks between your fingers with ease. Your cheek rested along the crown of his head, all while soothing his worries with the delightfully gentle sound of your voice. Halsin smiled to himself within the confines of his tent, the image of you being the balm to soothe his restlessness. Instead of sleeping, he simply allowed himself to sink further into his imagination, bringing one of his arms from his side to rest underneath his head, his eyes happily closing as he relaxed into his bedroll once more.
Halsin then imagined your hands cupping his cheeks, mimicking your caress from earlier, your thumbs lightly stroking along his cheek bones with your fingers tracing along his lower lip and chin. You would whisper sweet things against his ear, smiling against the outer shell as your warm breath tickled against his sensitive tips and caused the skin along his neck to prickle. Your plush lips would lightly pepper his cheek with the most tender of kisses, tracing along the shape of his twisting tattoos at a leisurely pace.
The simple thought of having your lips dancing across his skin made his heart flutter in his chest and a light blush to begin forming along his cheeks. He turned his head on his pillow, as if actually giving you access to the tattoo along his neck would somehow manifest you beside him in the tent, but he had gotten too lost in his fantasy to try and rationalize his movements. With his face now turned from the opening of his tent, Halsin’s imagination continued on with his visions, his mind quickly imagining your lips traveling form his cheek to the bright red swirls adorning his neck as the tips of your fingers toyed with the scar that sliced into his lower lip. 
As time inched along at a deliciously slow pace, your demeanor changed. Your kisses were more firm now, making proper, lingering contact with his skin with each passing moment. A shudder rippled down the druid’s spine as he imagined your teeth lightly grazing the skin of his throat, quickly soothing it over with a swipe of your tongue. It wasn’t long before your hands left his face, bypassing his neck and resting near the height of his chest, your nails lightly grazing and stroking along his collar bones.
From the darkness of his tent, Halsin’s hand came up to rest atop his chest, faintly feeling his own steady heartbeat underneath his camp shirt as his thumb absentmindedly ran along the ridges of his attire and took note of the stitching and changes in texture, replaying the feelings that had begun to rise in his chest as you lavished his skin with your touch. Kisses soon trailed back up his neck and cheek, until the flat of your front teeth nibbled lightly against his earlobe. Halsin released a soft a gasp at the imagined contact, his shoulders briefly rising from the ground in excitement, only to settle back down once again.
“When was the last time you allowed someone to take care of you?” Your question from earlier in the evening echoed in his mind.
“Far too long.” He whispered on exhale, his voice low and deep as his tongue flicked across his suddenly dry lips. 
His hand slid across his chest slowly, feeling his way across his body with no sense of urgency or frenzy, simply savoring the feeling of contact against his body that was now beginning to burn with desire. Although these were typically feelings he would suppress when his mind was muddled with duty and responsibility, he allowed himself a quiet moment to bask in his thoughts. Halsin imagined it was your hand that was roaming along his sternum, trying his best to mimic the softness of your touch and mirror your prior movements. Even though his large, calloused hands were nothing like your much smaller and softer ones, the lust beginning to cloud his senses allowed the illusion in his mind to be enough to satisfy his meandering touch. A shuddered breath escaped his lips as the tips of his fingers lightly ran over one of his now hardened nipples, the bud pressing firmly against the interior of his night shirt. 
The sensations cascading over his body were almost electric, given just how long it had been since he’d indulged in a moment of self pleasure, and each touch and swipe of his fingers across his chest sent sharp bolts down his back and the heat that had formed along his cheeks to spread across his throat. Halsin’s hand traveled lower across his torso, pressing more firmly with each movement as he explored the expanse of his pectorals, still fantasizing that it was your hands worshiping his body in such a way; touching and caressing with a gentleness only you possessed, easily undoing his hardened resolve with the faintest tease from your fingertips.
“You’ll have to let me dote on you one of these days.” Your phantom voice whispered against his ear, almost shaking with your own desire as your hands continued to explore his clothed chest.
“Please.” His voice was almost a whine, the long suppressed desperation finally beginning to crack Halsin’s all too serious exterior. He answered honestly, finally letting what he’d wanted to tell you out into the open, even if he was the only one to hear.
Halsin envisioned both of your hands running down the length of his chest, your palms pressed firmly against his camp shirt as you made your teasingly slow descent across his torso. Your hands stopped midway, parting at his middle and moving to his sides before sliding up towards his neck once again. Halsin’s own hands followed suit, mimicking his vision as accurately as possible as the path you had created in his mind continued over and over again, each time reaching just a bit lower than before. 
By now, Halsin had gotten lost in his fantasy. His face and neck were now properly flushed, burning with a bright red instead of the light flush just moments prior. His ears burned with excitement and a light layer of sweat had formed along his upper lip, which was occasionally licked away whenever the druid tried to swallow his excitement. A flutter appeared in his chest each time he visualized your form above him, smiling down at him sweetly as your hands continued their exploration of his body. The flutter would skip on occasion if he ever indulged himself enough to imagine you leaning down over once in a while to peck his lips with your own.
Halsin’s thoughts broke momentarily as his fingers brushed along the upper seam of his trousers, making his lower body twitch and buck into the air at the contact. His eyes finally opened as he explored his lower half, glancing down to see that the whole of his now hardened and throbbing cock pressing uncomfortably against the confines of the leather pants. He tentatively ran his palm along the outline of his bulge, feeling how his aching length traveled along his mid thigh and twitched at his touch, stifling a moan at the contact. Halsin’s hand quickly moved to his opposite thigh, squeezing and stroking at the leg of his trousers while taking deep, slow breaths in a quickly failing attempt to take his mind off the intense need to touch himself more. As the throbbing in his cock turned into a much harder pounding, each exhale was met with a low rumble in his chest. His stiffened length strained against his camp clothes, making the sensation borderline painful as he continued his ministrations along his thigh and back towards his lower abdomen. 
A wetness began to coat his thigh where the tip of his cock rested, the head weeping early traces of his spend as it ached and begged for another touch. Halsin succumbed to his desires once again, slowly running his hand along his arousal in attempt to soothe the throbbing. This, of course, only encouraged the lust and desire to bloom more, making his trousers more and more uncomfortable the longer he palmed himself. Eventually the sensation was too much to handle, the desire and intense need for friction had grown too strong and there would be no chance of getting a second of rest until Halsin came to a release. 
It wasn’t long before Halsin began unlacing the ties that lay at the front of his trousers, his fingers shaking with need and fumbling with the tassels. With a frustrated grunt, he finally managed to roughly pull the opening to his trousers apart, almost ripping the eyelets from the fabric with the force behind the tug. His chest heaved with excitement as the cool air that seeped into his tent made contact with his now fully exposed length, which had already begun dripping his spend in anticipation for a touch.
Pretending it was indeed your hand instead of his, Halsin tentatively reached out and brushed his fingers across his hardened cock, electing a soft groan from the contact. His fingertips danced in the slick that had weeped from his tip and begun dripping down the length of his shaft, coating his fingers until they were well lubricated. He gasped softly at the touches, the feeling almost foreign to him considering just how long it had been since he’d touched himself. His hand eventually wrapped around the base, giving himself a light squeeze and squirming at the wonderfully prickly sensation that settled in his spine.
Your imagined figure hummed softly against his the crown of his head as your cheek settled there once again, nuzzling against him gently while you hand began to slowly stroke along his length. Halsin’s eyes closed again as his hand soon fell into a steady rhythm, pumping leisurely with his hand all while the opposite continued to run along various parts of his body. 
“Rest now,” you spoke sweetly to him, your voice soft and low, “I’ll take care of you.” Your thumb circled the tip of his cock, making him squirm against your phantom frame as well as against his bedroll. Halsin fully submitted to his fantasy and desires, his stoic nature dissolving more and more with each passing stroke of his hand. 
He felt wonderful, more than he had in quite some time. Stress and duty had weighed so heavily on him for many years, allowing guilt and an untold amount of pent up frustrations to build with no way of release. But now, simply lying alone in his tent and imagining your company in such a way was almost euphoric. The only thing that could have topped the experience would be to actually have you pressed against him. He not only wanted to hear your voice and feel your touch, but he wanted to smell your scent and feel the heat within your own body begin to build. Sharing a bed with you seemed like a distant dream, especially with how he had seemingly hurt you earlier, so dreaming of you seated behind him while stroking his cock would be the closest thing he could have to your companionship for now, if ever. 
His thoughts were broken as Halsin could almost feel your lips against his neck, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses against his skin. He fantasized that you would even latch onto him every once in a while, biting softly and suckling against the flesh of his broad shoulder until haphazardly placed purple bruises began to form. He wanted to feel your arm draped across his opposite shoulder, letting your fingers toy with the hair on his chest that was beginning to crest over with sweat before pressing the whole of your palm flat against him and pull his frame into yours tightly. Perhaps you would even drag those teasingly deft fingertips of yours up his throat and against the bottom of his chin, tilting his head to face yours so you could plant sloppy kisses against his mouth. Your tongue darting across his lips, slipping skillfully into his mouth to lick across his teeth before tangling with his own. All of this happening in tandem with the strokes coming from your opposite hand, which would glide effortlessly and skillfully against his throbbing cock.
You would take your time in his fantasy, having nowhere to be and no mind flayer invasion to stop, giving you plenty of time to explore whatever your tender grasp could reach. Halsin tried to mimic the low, thoughtful pulls of your hand against his cock as best he could, trying to immerse himself as best he could in his thoughts. Pleasant tingles ran across his lower abdomen the further Halsin reached into the opening of his trousers. He continued until a significant portion of his forearm had slipped beneath the fabric, the flaps on the opening of his trousers brushing against his elbow as his hand loosely gripped the base of his cock. His grip tightened as he drug his hand along his length, cupping the head with an almost painful grasp before releasing back down as he returned down again.
Halsin’s legs began to bend at the knee, having previously been laid flat from his attempt to trance, and he placed his feet flat against the ground. The muscles in his thighs began to tighten the longer he stroked his hand along his length, his hips starting to writhe under his ministrations. Halsin ran his thumb over the slicked, weeping tip of his cock, his head arching against the pillow of his bedroll as a desperate groan formed in his chest. The sound caught in his throat, dying down before it could escape his lips, for which he was thankful. In this moment, Halsin didn’t want to be found. Instead, he wanted this moment to last as long as possible, where he could exist in his sinful fantasy until his duties pulled him into the realm of reality once more. He couldn’t afford for a stray cry or moan to slip through the opening of his tent and bring forth the whole of camp to his abode.
It was a selfish thought, but one that the elf embraced with all his might. He wanted, if not needed, this moment of self pleasure. To bring himself to a blissful release with you in the center of his minds eye. There were parts of him that protested and urged himself to stop now, but he carried on, stroking his cock at an increase paced with each moment that passed. Just one moment; one precious, well deserved moment is all he needed to release many weeks worth of pent up frustrations and desires and set his mind right once more.
Halsin’s nails roughly scratched along his chest, digging into the thick fabric of his camp shirt as a wave of ecstasy washed over his belly, making his stroking stutter briefly. His hips lifted from the hard ground, bucking upwards to meet his hand and the mental image of your own. He dreamed of your legs swinging over his hips only to press firmly against his own squirming legs, keeping the thick walls of muscles in place to allow you to continue your stroking and pleasing at your own pace without him interfering, which had significantly increased since his visions first began. It wouldn’t take much to over power you and reverse the roles, given his size. To pin you beneath him and take you properly would be an easy feat, but one he did not want to act on. Instead, deep within the confines of his fantasies, Halsin wanted you to take control and dote on his aching body as you had suggested earlier in the evening.
His heart ached at how badly he wanted you to lead him to orgasm by being the one in power. He had spent the better part of a century leading others and having to be the one to bear the crushing weight of responsibility, even when he didn’t want to. But now, lying on the cold floor of his tent, he relinquished control and let you have your way, even if it was only in his mind. 
Your hand had begun to pick up speed, not quite frantic, but much more than the easy pace you had previously set. Although not knowing much about your previous experience with partners in such a situation, simply seeing how skilled you were in battle with a sword as well as how nimble you were in combat told Halsin all he needed to know about how wonderful you were feel. You would be firm in your grasp, yet gentle enough to not cause harm. Your wrist would flick in just the right way so you would tug gently along his cock while allowing him to feel every bit of your fingers and palm as you continued in long, fluid strokes. You were compassionate enough to listen to worries and fears in camp, so there was no doubt that you would listen to his moans and gasps and adjust your pace or grip accordingly; slowing down with a looser grip if he came too close to completion or speeding up with a tighter grasp if he bucked against your hand for more contact. Generous with his pleasure, yet fully in control and taking the weight of responsibly away from him so Halsin could simply enjoy the feelings festering in his body.
His free hand quickly left his chest and clamped into the fabric of his bedroll, his grip hardened and his knuckles white as the string of pleasure that had been woven in his belly was pulled taught, teetering on the precipice of snapping. Halsin’s hips bucked wildly into his hand, taking his pleasure based more on touch than the actual imagine of you in his mind, although that did not deter him from thinking of you. You were there, holding his large frame against yours, pressing his back into your chest firmly as your hand pumped along his throbbing, aching cock as a fevered pace. Your voice was in his ear, panting white hot breaths against his skin as your voice dripped with your own ecstasy. You begged him to release, to spill his seed against your hand and take his pleasure how he wanted. His incredibly hazy mind imagined you coaxing him along, telling him just how desperately you wanted to see and feel his orgasm ripple through this body. How you wanted to feel his tired muscles twitch and shake as he finally released himself for you.
Sweat dripped quickly from his temples, running along his neck where you could so easily lick it up for him if you were actually there in his tent, stroking his cock from behind as you whimpered and whined sweet promises in his ear. You would offer to clean the mess that was made before laying him down and letting him find pleasure within your body. Halsin could practically feel the heat radiating from your body while his mind burned with desire, imagining your own expression to be blissed out and hazy in anticipation of finding your own orgasm simply from witnessing his. He desperately wanted to watch as you unravelled for him, brought to the brink just from how you touched along his body and whispered in his ear. 
You would seat yourself nicely atop him, fingers gently clawing down his chest as you sunk down on his cock, your own breath heaving as toyed and teased him. From here, his hands could roam your body as he pleased, touching and caressing every bit of your body. Halsin wanted to run his hand along your stomach and chest, inching upwards until his thumb reached your lips, dampening the digit with a swipe of your tongue in a similar matter to how you had earlier in the evening. He could see your hips rolling against his, head thrown back as you gasped for air, teetering on the edge of being in completely control to losing every bit of sense you had while riding out an orgasm.
The disciplined portion of Halsin’s mind that had yet to be fogged over with desire argued with the fire burning in his belly, causing a battle in his mind over what was morally right and what was physically wrong. He wanted you more than anything he’d wanted in so very long, yet Halsin did feel a twinge of guilt in his self pleasure in knowing it was your image that was bringing him so close to release despite the sadness in your expression only moments prior. What would your reaction be if you could see him now sprawled on his back in the solitude of his tent, arm buried deep in his trousers, palming his strained cock at a fevered pace all while imagining you? He would like to think you were be flattered, but deep down he knew you were would be disappointed, disgusted even. To have the courage to turn you down repeatedly, sending you away from him time and time again, yet thrusting into his hand to your image like an animal in rut would be a slap in the face. 
He could feel his pleasure mounting, his cock twitching and throbbing against his hand as his body prepared to spill his seed along his hand and stomach while whimpering your name. A few more strokes would be all he needed to finish, to finally release the built up feelings he’d harbored for so, so long. His legs shook, hips thrusting wildly into the air as his free hand trembled in excitement and small moans slipped into the air. However, the more rational portion of Halsin’s mind finally took control, stopping him before he could finish. 
He flipped over quickly, pressing his stomach firmly into the ground beneath him, trapping his violently twitching cock between his body and the fabric of his bedroll, still wrapped tightly by his hand. Halsin’s hips stilled, his head coming to rest atop his free arm as he caught his breath, the closeness to orgasm slowly ebbing away the longer he stilled. Ragged breaths tore from his lungs, panting into his pillow as he released a frustrated shout, letting the fabric beneath him muffle the majority of it. He was frustrated, angry even. He wanted, if not needed, to complete his task and feel an orgasm finally tear through his body, but he couldn’t allow himself to continue. 
It would be wrong, he decided, to finish the deed. The urge was only natural, but not like this. He had allowed himself to be distracted enough as it is as well as causing you harm, so he deemed himself unworthy of a wonderful release. It needed to wait until after the curse had been lifted and he had gotten in your good graces again, if possible. As much as he wanted it now, he knew that waiting until things were right would be kinder to his conscious and even more blissful once he could finally release.
Halsin remained in his spot, his breath slowly regaining a normal speed as he allowed his orgasm to ebb away. He could feel the more frequent feelings of frustration begin to fester in his mind once again, his still throbbing cock sitting in his hand certainly didn’t help matters. Neither did the sudden sound of your laughter breaking through the silence of camp, making its way to Halsin’s secluded tent off in the distance. The melodious sound of you enjoying yourself made Halsin grind his hips into his hand, causing him to moan loudly at the feeling. Your laughter had spurred him on once more, the idea that you had found joy once again this evening and possibly not sitting somewhere upset due to his actions brought back the feelings of lust. 
Each little snippet of sound he could hear from the far off center of camp made him thrust into his hand even more, particularly if your voice seemed closer than before. Halsin’s breaths had become deeper and heavier with each downward thrust of his hips, the occasional muffled cry coming from his throat if his hips came down at just the right angle. His fingers curled tightly into the fabric of his pillow, his nails threatening to rip the material apart the closer he came to his release. His muscles were wound tightly, rippling across his back with each roll of his body against his own hand and into his bedroll. By now the fabric of his camp shirt had been soaked with sweat, the material clinging to his body and creating new sensations across his skin as the friction increased. 
Halsin’s fogged mind imagined it was you clinging to him instead, your hands sliding against and caressing his arms and back as you were pressed firmly beneath him. The sweat that rolled lazily down his neck was your tongue lapping at the tender parts of skin and the feeling of his ragged breaths beating against his pillow and recoiling to touch his face instead your own sweet breath panting into his mouth. With eyes shut tightly, Halsin’s hips increased their speed and began audibly slapping against the slick that had coated his hand, letting anyone who came close to his living quarters acutely aware of what his was doing from within the confines of his tent. His moans had become more audible, his senses having long been lost.
Your name tumbled from his lips as his release drew closer, saying it over and over again as if he were begging you to let him finish. Each time he said your name he imagined his own name coming from you, being panted in his ear as he trust into you, your bodies colliding into each other at a fevered pace. He could feel your fingers intertwining with his hair, tugging at his scalp as you moaned and cooed in his ear. Your voice wavered as you whispered for him to release, Halsin imagined you growing closer to your very own peak as you encouraged and begged him to finish for you. And much to his happiness, it was long before he obliged your request.
With a final heavy thrust and one more warbled cry of pleasure, Halsin’s orgasm washed over his body in searing hot waves of pleasure. Halsin’s body stiffened with his orgasm, curling in on himself as his spend finally shot from the tip of his pulsing cock. His grip tightened around his length, feeling each spurt that erupted from his tip land across his hand onto the bedroll beneath him, the occasional rope landing somewhere along his abdomen if his cock twitched at the right time. He let out a gasping breath with each passing release, each one decreasing in intensity as he rode out the last remaining moments of his orgasm.
After the last ropes of his spend were spilled onto the ground beneath him, Halsin took in a final sucking breath, utterly spent and exhausted. The ironclad grip he’d previously had on his pillow finally released, the same hand pushing up his weight so he could sit up and rest on his knees. His opposite hand released his length, now quickly softening as he came down from the high of his orgasm. The druid still struggled to catch his breath, his chest slightly heaving as he wiped his hand clean with the edge of his blanket before resting both hands on his still trembling thighs. He took another deep breath in, his head falling back against his shoulders as his eyes closed until he was facing the ceiling of his tent. 
By now, the illusion he had created for himself had faded. Halsin was no longer seated happily in a tender patch of grass nestled between your thighs, but was instead alone and hovering over his bedroll that rested on a rather hard bit of earth. The warmth of the sun kissing his face had been replaced with the coldness of the shadow curse and the darkness of the inside of his tent. The tender caress of your wonderful hands along his body was now nothing more than his own guilt and shame clawing at his heart once again. He heard nothing but howls and screams in the distant shadows instead of the soft, intoxicating sound of your voice against his ear. The heat from his skin was beginning to dissipate as well, allowing the coolness of the night air to lick at his exposed skin. 
With a soft sigh, Halsin opened his eyes, disappointed to not be greeted with the image of your face, although not entirely surprised to only be greeted with the tattered fabric of his makeshift home. Despite being still sensitive to the touch, Halsin tucked himself back into the confines of his trousers, lacing the ties on the front with a slight hiss at the contact. He wiped the sweat from his upper lip with the back of his hand as he looked at the mess now waiting before him. Not wanting to deal with the aftermath of his self pleasure, Halsin simply rolled his heavily soiled bedroll into a tight bundle, tossing it to the back end of his tent and decided to either clean or dispose of in the morning. 
He pulled open the flap of his tent, letting in the last remnants of light from the campfire into his abode as he prepared to finally rest for the evening, the exertion from his orgasm having finally worn him out enough to indulge in a bit of sleep. He shivered at the abrupt feeling of the cool night against the warmth he had created in his tent. The camp had gone quiet, the rest of his companions having seemingly turned in for the night, and the earlier sounds of children laughing and animals barking seemed to be silenced as well. Halsin brushed the straw bits of strained that coated the floor of his tent into a smooth layer so he would have a bit of cushion against his tired bones. He had finished smoothing down the outer edge when something small caught his eye. 
Sitting neatly beside his discarded camp gear was a small bowl of stew, still billowing steam from the surface. Halsin simply stared at the bowl, which had been placed on a small saucer with an accompanying spoon and a hearty chunk of bread. It didn’t take much thinking on his part to know you had been the one to leave the bit of supper by his tent, although he couldn’t be quite sure when you had dropped it off. He had admittedly been too caught up in his fantasy to begin to hear you shuffling about outside, which made him question just how much of his guilty pleasure you had heard. 
Perhaps you had herd nothing and merely wanted to leave his undisturbed under the pretense he was asleep. However, the much more likely scenario considering just how hot the stew was, was that you had walked up right as he was chanting your name while at the height of his pleasure. He felt an all too familiar heat creep up his neck as he eyed the bowl. He sat back on his knees once more, a light chuckle leaving his lips as he imagined a dozen scenarios he’d be having with you come morning. But for now, Halsin simply took the bowl of stew in hand and ate it quickly, ready to finish his meal and finally take a bit of well deserved rest.
Tag list: @thoughts-of-bear @mothermoth92
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Chapter 11: It's Giving Kidnapping?
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV
Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you neve expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy
Word Count: 10.1K
Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it) and because there is an unwanted sexual advance (not Soldier Boy) (it's more someone making the reader feel uncomfortable and the person talking to the reader, not so much touching, but it's still there and it's wrong), Violence, Swearing, Mentions of sex, Thoughts of Sex, Kidnapping, GASLIGHTING, Threatening, Denial, A whole lot of denial, Sexism, Creepiness, Manipulation, Talks about weed, Super manipulative trash man, And another Super Manipulative Trash Man but this time he's even more creepy, Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.
Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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Reader POV
"So where is it that we're going again?" You ask your brother Darren while looking absentmindedly out the passenger side window of his car watching the other people on the bridge.
The sun was shining, bathing the interior of the car in a warm light, the clouds puffy and the sky a beautiful blue that faded into the background behind the iconic New York Skyline as the buildings raised their hands to worship the beautiful day. It was the perfect day for you to grab a paper back and a cup of iced pineapple tea and make your way to Central Park, instead you were stuck in a car with your brother who was taking you God knows were.
"I told you it's a surprise." Darren replies, hitting the gas to cut off someone in the fast lane who honks at him, but Darren only flips them the bird and continues to speed down the bridge.
You had been in the car for over thirty minutes, a car that Darren said was a "loan" from his new BFF, the same person that he was ecstatic about you meeting.
The car was fancier than what you were used to, state of the art with butterscotch colored leather seats so supple and smooth that it felt like you were being hugged by the passenger side chair. The windows were made of thicker glass and you guessed that they must be bulletproof given how sturdy they looked, not to mention they were also darker than average so no one could see into the vehicle, but you could see out. The car was four doors and was made by a European company that you'd never heard of, but you were sure it was expensive. The car probably cost more than the entire inventory of "Please Don't Die" and the building the shop inhabited.
This is weird. You think to yourself, squeezing the leather seat in your hand.
Most of the "friends" your brother introduced you to were as down on their luck as Darren and just as eager to ask for a loan from anyone they could. You'd never met one that could afford a new car let alone a car that looked like it should be owned by the wealthiest man in New York City.
Your frown deepens as you try to figure out where the two of you are going and who it is Darren wants you to meet.
Truthfully, Darren was acting like you didn't hate surprises, you did. Every time your brother dropped by unannounced made you furious. You'd told him over and over again to call first, but no matter what you did each time he showed up without so much as a text.
You sigh audibly. "I just want to be prepared for wherever it is we're going."
"And I told you it's a surprise." His hands tighten on the wheel as if you're annoying him, before he glances over at you with a tight smile. "Come on sissy, it's like you don't even trust me."
The word "trust" makes you frown at him and drags you back to your apartment thirty minutes ago when Ben told you that you were stupid and "too trusting." You didn't understand why Ben got so mad at you going with Darren.
He's my brother, what did Ben think was going to happen? And why was he so angry?
You cross your arms over your chest and lean back into the plush seat.
Who did Ben think he was? He's not my dad! And I am not just some stupid little ditzy girl who needs a big strong man to protect me! I am a grown woman who has survived this long without someone like him butting into all of my business.
The more you sat there in the car, the more your frown deepens, and the more angry you became. You didn't understand why he treated you that way when you hadn't done anything to warrant his temper.
He's just a temperamental petulant child who thinks that he knows everything and that his opinion should be treated with the highest regard!
Usually, you would feel bad about what you had shouted at Ben about his old team and about his son, but not right now. You didn't understand why he was getting so angry and why he cared so much about what you were doing with your brother.
Does Ben really think that Darren would do anything to hurt me?
The whiplash that Ben kept putting you through where he seemed to care and then he didn't was getting old quick…
"Do whatever the fuck you want. It's not like I give a shit about her."
You wince as Ben's words ring in your ears making something stick in your chest. They had hurt more than you thought they would, maybe because you were starting to care about Ben and you thought that he was starting to care about you.
Because what other reason would he walk with you to work, pick you up, and bring you coffee sometimes? And why did he seem to be almost worried when Darren suggested that you meet his friend?
But he doesn't care about you. He's made that much perfectly clear.
You chew the inside of your cheek contemplating the conversation the two of you shared. Maybe I did say some things that were a little harsh, but Ben was being a total dick and he deserved what I said!
A flash of Ben and you tangled in one another this morning comes roaring back bringing a wave of heat flashing through you. Your cheeks flush and the wildflowers growing on the opposite side of the bridge outside of the car all flare bright pink in the sunlight when Darren drives the car past them.
You had been so close to kissing him, so close to letting yourself sink into his warmth and lose yourself in all he was. He was so strong and broad and warm in all the right ways, not to mention he looked really cute this morning with his eyes still a little hazy from sleep and his dark hair falling forward into his face, mused just slightly against the pillow. You could still feel his body laying on top of yours, but the weight wasn't oppressive, it was perfect, like a weighted blanket that made your anxiety fade away. The feeling of his powerful chest beneath the palms of your hands as you dragged them up to tangle his hair ghosts through your body.
Despite Ben's gruff exterior those few soft moments this morning you wished hadn't slipped through your fingertips, you wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel what it was like for him to kiss you softly as if he wished to savor you. The one you'd shared outside your apartment was hungry and frenzied, but you had a feeling deep down in your gut that the kiss Ben and you would have shared on the couch would have been different. The moment felt different too. The way he looked at you, the way he smiled when he noticed the apple tree flowering, and the way he held you close to him with care.
No. I am not going to think about any of that right now. He was a jerk for no reason and even if he wasn't Ben said he didn't care about me. Which is exactly what I've been trying to say since I first met him, he doesn't want to date me, he just wants to fuck me and move on.
When you'd walked out of your bedroom in a fresh outfit, Ben had already gone, and Jake had answered you back saying that it was okay for you to take the day off. Jake rarely said that it was a bad idea, he had said that he would "miss you" but instead of that filling you with warmth it did absolutely nothing. You figured that it was because of the fight Ben and you had. The anger, frustration, hurt, and rage was still currently swirling around your head and whenever it came to a peak you'd get a flash of how good it felt to wake up with Ben on top of you.
"How did you meet your friend?" You ask to keep your mind from wandering back to Ben.
"The usual."
"Usual, meaning?"
"Met him at Richie's poker game, we hit it off." Darren adjusts the radio and flips it to an 80's rock song that you can't remember the name of.
You sigh. "You owe him money don't you?"
"No I don't!" Darren clams up, his hands tightening on the wheel for a moment. "Well, just a little…"
Typical, just typical. Should have brought my damn checkbook.
"I thought you said that you didn't need money?" You pinch the bridge of your nose doing another mental calculation of how much you could give your brother.
"I don't, we worked something out." Darren answers vaguely, turning off of the expressway and onto a side street.
The buildings outside the window begin to be more and more spaced out, becoming more industrial. Each one you pass is fenced in and are quickly changing into giant warehouses and desolate streets. There aren't any other cars on the road with you and you hadn't seen another person in a few minutes.
"Well this looks… murdery." You frown at another empty warehouse with rusting sides and a roof that’s caved in.
Why are we all the way out here?
"It's not murdery, it's just eclectic. Don't be so judgmental." Darren rolls his eyes at you as he makes a left turn in front of a warehouse that is larger than the others, but in much better shape.
It's fenced with barbed wire swirling along the top of the chain links, but there's a man standing at the gate with a leather jacket, sunglasses, and a clip board, the first person you’d seen outside of the car since Darren got off the expressway. He gestures for Darren to roll down the window with the clipboard.
"Hey there Joe." Darren says smoothly, leaning his elbow on the window frame, the picture of ease.
"Darren." Joe states eyes falling on where you're sitting in the passenger seat. "That her?"
"Yeah this is my sister." Darren flashes the usual smile, the one you've seen him use countless times when he needs to schmooze someone or close a "deal."
"Hi." You say awkwardly, smiling at the man identified as Joe.
Something about this feels wrong. Why does he know who I am? I thought I was just meeting Darren's friend?
All Joe does is frown at you. "Doesn't look like a supe."
You turn to look at your brother surprised. Darren knew that it was something you didn't share with everyone, that it was something you only revealed when you had to.
Darren shrugs it off with a laugh. "She is, trust me."
"Hmm." Joe grunts. "And you're late. The boss doesn't like it when people are late."
"Sorry it was her fault. Told her to put on something nice and you know how women are." Darren is completely in his element, gesturing with his hands, and smoothing down any ruffled feathers.
But the whole situation makes you more uncertain.
Who was "the boss?" Is that Darren's friend? And why the fuck did he tell Joe that I was a supe?
You pull on the end of your long sleeved blouse nervously. Darren hadn’t let you leave the house before approving your outfit and finally when you'd walked out of your bedroom wearing a long sleeved green with white polka dot blouse and a pair of dark jeans and your converse he had said that you were "presentable" but then insisted that you leave your hair down.
It made you feel like you were about to go to a job interview. You didn't understand why Darren made you change so many times or why he cared what you wore to meet another one of his skeevy friends. They never seemed to dress up to meet you, so why should you dress up to meet them? Not to mention Darren wasn't wearing anything different than his usual outfit.
He was wearing his black army jacket over a pair of black ripped jeans and a Meatloaf t-shirt. He'd changed out the gauges in his ears for black pointed spikes and the two rings in Darren's right eyebrow were now bright blue. Darren runs his hand over his buzzed hair, giving you a flash of his onyx skull ring on his thumb.
"Yeah I get it, my old lady does the same thing." Joe eyes you appreciatively and winks. "Cleans up nice though."
"Thank you." You reply dryly.
Joe waves Darren through and as he does, you see a gun in a holster hanging against the left side of his chest under his leather jacket.
"Darren what is this? Why was he armed? And why the fuck did you tell him I was a supe?" You shout at your brother as soon as he rolls up the window.
"Oh well, my friend is kind of important and Joe is just some extra security." Darren pulls the car into a parking spot just outside of the building. He says it like you're overreacting, but you didn't think you were. This entire situation was suspicious. "I told him you were a supe because he's just trying to keep my friend safe. He asked an honest question and I didn't want to lie to him."
Bullshit. Darren doesn't give a fuck about lying to other people.
Sometimes you even wondered if Darren gave a fuck about lying to you. That thought was usually brushed away by the reassertion that Darren was your brother and you trusted what he said.
But everything about this situation made you feel odd. You didn’t understand why Darren had to bring you here to meet his friend or why his friend wanted to meet you in the first place or why his friend seemed to need so much security. You'd never had one of Darren's friends ask to meet you before, most of the time you just showed up to meet Darren and they were there scratching something in public that they shouldn't be.
"Come on Darren, you know how much I hate telling people that I'm a supe-"
"Relax. It's already done, let's just move on." He waves a hand, ignoring you.
"Please, tell me what I'm doing here. This is more than me just meeting your friend."
"Hey." He brings his hand down on yours where it rests on the middle console. "I know you're nervous, but I would never do anything to hurt you." Darren's blue eyes are wide with sincerity. "Do you really think I would?"
"Well-" You bite the inside of your cheek.
He's your brother. He wouldn’t hurt you. You say it to reassure yourself, but it doesn’t stick completely.
"Come on." Darren sighs it as if he's genuinely upset that you thought he would. "I'm your brother, I'm your only family and I love you sis. I just want to do what's best for you. And my friend is really nice and he keeps saying that he wants to meet you. Not to mention he's loaded and I know that you struggle with things like that and he said that he'd help you out."
"What?" You sputter in surprise. "Why would he do that? Why would you talk to him about me?
"Because he's a nice guy and I like to brag about how amazing you are to everyone I meet." Darren smiles. "Now come on I don't want to keep Eli waiting and we're already late."
"Eli?"
It was the first time that Darren had used his friend's name and somewhere at the back of your mind it rang a bell.
"My friend. You're gonna love him. Come on I don't want to keep him waiting." Darren repeats as he gets out of the car first, but you stay in it for a second absorbing the entire situation.
You had half a mind to text Butcher or Annie, something about the whole situation made alarm bells go off in your head, and as mean as Ben had been, you wondered if he was right, if this was something you should be worried about.
And weirder still a piece of you wished that Ben was here with you. You didn't know why, but you did.
Instead of calling or texting someone, you discretely unlock your phone and check that the tracking software Annie and you downloaded to keep tabs on one another when you moved into the city was on. No one else knew about it, in fact the app was disguised as a period tracker on your home screen so if someone were to take your phone all they would see is another general app and they'd immediately pass over it. 
You'd never had to use it before in an emergency situation. Annie and you both used it when you went on a date with someone you barely knew as an extra precaution in case the guy turned out to be a freak or a secret cannibal. The horror stories you saw on the internet made you worry about that and the last thing you wanted to do was go on a date with a guy who had a taste for human flesh or wanted to turn you into a skin suit.
You open the passenger side door of the car and step out into the sunshine, tucking your phone into your pocket back pocket while looking up at the building. It glints a dull gray in the morning light, but the general appearance of the building does little to make you feel better about the whole situation. Memories of all the other times you met Darren's friends came flitting back across your mind, all of which occurred at a fast-food restaurant or a random poker game or a bar. Not to mention you'd never had one of his friends specifically ask to meet you before and you'd never met one in the middle of nowhere at a warehouse that was fenced in and patrolled by armed guards.
Darren adjusts the collar of his jacket flipping it down before he looks back at you. "Come on."
"Darren I don't think-"
Darren looks up to the sky with a heavy sigh as if your apprehension is annoying him. "Sis come on." He walks closer to you. "That asshole, Ben, is in your head. Are you really going to trust some random guy you live with or me? Your own flesh and blood?"
"Well-"
"Have I ever put you in a dangerous position before?"
"No."
"Exactly. I care about you so much and I would never do anything to hurt you." He takes your hand, eyes soft in the morning light. "I love you. You're the only family I have left that matters. And I promise if anything in there makes you uncomfortable we can leave. Just say the word."
"Really?"
"Yes." Darren nods once. "Fuck, sissy I'm not taking you here against your will. If you don't want to go in we don’t have to, but you said that you would come with me and you never break your word. Not to mention it would make me happy."
He's my brother. He loves me. He would never hurt me. It's going to be okay.
You let out a soft breath and squeeze his hand. "Okay."
Darren leads you to the thick metal door and opens it for you so you can walk in first and as soon as you do, you stop mid-step. The inside of the warehouse is covered with tables, but they're not empty, each table holds more weed plants than you can fit inside your entire apartment. The room is so green that you have to squint for a moment for your eyes to adjust from all the brightness outside. There are large fluorescent lights hanging above each table trying to give the plants the sunlight they need, but the plants don’t look good.
The plants are wilting, dying, and some have a strange black substance that fans out over the leaves in a vein-like pattern, choking the green that remains. Dead plants in piles are stacked on the edges of the room, already succumbing to whatever the hell was wrong with them.
You'd never seen a plant have something like that before. Even the energy given off by the plants is not the usual one you feel when surrounded by so many, it feels wrong, sickly, almost oppressive. You've never felt something that felt so wrong from any of the plants that you had encountered in the past.
You walk up to one of the tables, examining the black veins that are creeping along the gentle bend of the leaves up from the stalks. "What happened?"
"No idea." Darren shrugs. An unlit cigarette is perched between his lips and he's searching through his jacket pockets for his lighter. The one he'd had for years that looked like a silver dragon. "Eli said that he came back from somewhere and he found them like this."
"Oh."
"Do you think you can fix them?"
"What?" You turn to look at him incredulously. "This is weed. This is illegal why the fuck would I fix this?"
"Come on. Don’t be so high and mighty." Darren groans. "They're plants. You've told me countless times that you hate it when plants suffer. Well all of these are suffering!"
"Not the same thing!"
"You're telling me if Newton's dad's cornfield was suffering you wouldn't wave a hand and work some of that plant lover shit to save it?"
"That cornfield is his family's livelihood this is-"
"It's Eli's livelihood. It's how he makes so much money!"
"Is this why you brought me here?" You shout crossing your arms over your chest. "To fix all of these?"
"No. I wanted you to meet my friend and he's waiting for us so we might as well fucking go." Darren grouses, turning to walk up a rickety staircase that leads to the second level of the warehouse.
But you don’t believe him, because why else would Darren bring you to a place with a plant related problem, not to mention why would Darren get so angry when you refused to.
Did he really think I was going to fix an entire warehouse full of weed plants? The last thing I'm gonna do is help Eli cultivate his crop.
You weren't surprised that Darren's friend wasn't as above board as everyone else. You knew that your brother tended to get involved with people who weren't as law abiding, not to mention your brother's moral compass didn't always point North when it came to other people, but you didn't think that he would involve you in something like this.
Occasionally the moral boundaries you had were pushed when it came to what you did for Butcher, but at least he respected you when you said no.
Darren continues to stomp up the stairs angrily, another reason why you believed that Darren was lying to you.
He knew that if he mentioned any of this I would never come with him.
He throws open the door at the top of the stairs not bothering to knock and you follow behind him, fuming.
The room just inside is not what you were expecting. The entire wall to the left is made entirely of glass giving whomever is inhabiting the room an amazing view of the water beyond, water that you didn't realize was so close when Darren pulled up to the building. There's a giant wooden antique desk at the back at the room with a large maroon leather desk chair sitting behind it and two smaller leather chairs in front of the desk. A few bookshelves line the non-windowed walls, but there's no one else in the room, just Darren and you.
Where's his friend?
Darren sighs and exhales a breath of smoke, before he turns to look at you with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry sis. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I know that you've always been more on the straight and narrow than me and I shouldn't have yelled at you."
"What?" You weren't expecting him to sound so sorry, if anything you thought that your brother would have started yelling at you all over again. Why is he apologizing.
"Yeah." He rubs a free hand over the top of his buzzed hair sheepishly. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad about it. Of course you don’t have to do anything you don't want to do."
"Thank you." You sigh. "And I'm sorry. I do hate to see plants suffer, but that out there is different than what I do regularly."
"I know. And I don’t want you to be uncomfortable" Darren grabs your hand with his free hand, before he looks around the room. "Guess Eli is also running a little late huh?" He smiles and it reassures you that you've been forgiven.
"Yeah. Weird that he's not here. Especially when Joe said he was waiting for us and-"
"Oh shit!" Darren interrupts you, lets go of your hand and smacks himself on the forehead. "I completely forgot."
"Forgot what?"
He's frantically patting down his pockets looking for something. "I was supposed to call Richie. I told him I would and I-" He continues to check his pockets, the cigarette still burning between his lips. Darren talks around it. "Can I borrow your phone real quick? I think I left mine in the car."
"But-"
"Please it'll take like, two seconds. I told him that I'd meet up with him later and I want to take you to lunch after this to make up for all that shit." Darren nods his head back towards the door where the tables of weed plants are.
"Oh you don’t have to take me to lunch Darren, I can-"
"No." Darren smiles. "I want to. It’s the least I can do, driving you all the way out here and making you meet Eli."
"Um-" You look around the empty office expecting Eli to materialize out of nowhere. "Sure. But please make it quick. I don’t want to be in here alone with this random dude."
"He's not a random dude, he's my friend. And he's a gentleman, definitely a better person that that dick you have at your apartment." Darren waves a hand before he takes your phone. "You'll be fine. And we can go wherever you want for lunch."
You frown at Darren's comment about Ben as he disappears out the door and leaves you in the large office.
Honestly you did think that Ben could be a dick at times, but there were other times when he was almost sweet, well, sort of at least.
Not before he left today.
You think about what you yelled at him, about him needing people, but just wanting to push them away. That you were sure about. You believed that Ben did need people, but he had so many trust issues about everything that had happened in the past that it made him suspicious and not want to admit it to himself. That and you figured if he believed he was such a "manly man" he thought that it was ridiculous and feminine to admit that he needed someone.
Which again, you thought was stupid because you'd always seen emotional maturity in a man as an attractive trait. You liked when men could be vulnerable around you, you liked when they were honest, and you liked when they had the confidence and security to break around you so you could help them. And you found yourself wanting to help Ben, even though you thought you shouldn't.
He's not a bad guy, he's just got a ton of trust issues, machoistic ideas, and an inability to open up to anyone.
You tap your fingertip against your bicep where they were crossed in front of your chest and make your way to one of the bookshelves to look at the books. Some were antiques, others were versions of classics that you had read when you were a child, but you were sure that each volume was worth more than the apartment building you lived in. Some of the spines were so faded that you could just barely make out the flecked golden lettering and others were in another language that you couldn't understand.
Honestly, you could see yourself sitting in the big maroon chair curled up with one of these books, reading through the book with a large cup of tea while looking out over the water and admiring the iconic New York Skyline across the bay. It was a nice office, but your mind began to drift back to the quiet moments Ben and you shared a few days ago when you curled up on the couch beside him and read through your current obsession while he sat with the paper on the other side. It was nice and you were surprised that the two of you could share such a quiet moment together without ripping each other's heads off.
Maybe I should call and apologize. You think to yourself while you stroke your fingertip down one of the spines. I shouldn’t have said those things about his team or his son. And yes maybe he shouted some things at me too, but maybe he also feels bad and he's just not man enough to tell me that he's sorry. Or maybe he doesn’t give a fuck and he couldn’t care less about me.
The words he snarled at your brother, vibrate through your head again.
"Do whatever the fuck you want. It's not like I give a shit about her…"
You hear someone come through the door and because you expect it to be Darren, you don’t turn to look at him.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting darling." The voice says in a warm and low rumble, the ends tilting in an accent that you can't place. But your entire body freezes, because you knew that voice.
You slowly turn to look at the man who just entered the room eyes widening.
"Ms. Worthington. It is so nice to see you again. How was the drive?" Elijah Black asks with a pleasant smile, one eyebrow raised at you. "Not too much traffic I hope."
Elijah Black looks almost exactly the same way he did at the fundraiser a few days ago and the use of the fake last name you used only reminds you that he hadn't forgotten meeting you. His greying black hair curls behind his ears in waves that have been slicked back over his head. More of his sun-kissed golden skin is revealed to you, showing tattoos that curl up his muscular arms and disappear into the rolled up sleeves of his navy dress shirt. The top two buttons are unbuttoned revealing more of his muscular chest and the dark ink that swirls up from his pecs and licks up onto his collar bones. He's wearing a gold chain to offset the dark swirls of the tattoos, but he still is built like a body-builder, bigger than Ben across, not taller, but taller than you.
Oh fuck. This is not good.
You reach for your phone in your back pocket, prepared to send an emergency text to Butcher and Annie, the one you should have sent before when you were outside, but talked yourself out of. But then you remember that Darren still has your phone and he's not back yet.
"Mr. Black. Funny seeing you here." You clear the fear from your voice, fighting the shudder of fear when you watch Elijah's eyes trace up your figure, clinging to places that make you wish that you hadn’t worn something so tight.
"Please call me Elijah." He purrs, taking another step forward into the room. The door is closed behind him and Darren is gone. "I was disappointed when you used a fake name the other night. I was hoping to get to know you better." Elijah almost looks a little hurt, before his lips twitch into a smirk. "Of course Soldier Boy also seemed to be opposed to the idea, but he's not here now is he?"
"He's outside actually, just give him a second."
"You’re a terrible liar." Elijah chuckles. "I'd hate to see you try to play poker."
"Well give me a chance and I'm sure I'll surprise you."
Elijah is blocking the only exit. The windows could be an option, but it would mean that you’d have to throw something at it or you'd have to throw him through the window. You were strong, but not strong enough to do something like that. Not to mention you had a feeling that Elijah was a supe. The way he carried himself with a careful confidence seemed dangerous.
"Oh I can’t wait to see just how many surprises you have." His eyes trace up and down your body again in a way that makes your throat tighten and a wave of revulsion prickle over your skin. Even though you're wearing a long sleeved shirt and pants, you feel naked under his gaze.
"Darren said that Soldier Boy and you had a fight." Elijah taps his fingers against the edge of the wooden desk. "I hope he didn't hurt you."
Why did Darren tell Elijah that we had a fight? And where the fuck did my brother go?
"That's none of your business-" You say taking a step back moving around the back of the desk, preparing to run the other way and make a break for the door.
Elijah shrugs.  "I like to know everything about the women I get involved with."
"We're not involved. I don’t know a fucking thing about you." You spit backing away.
This is bad. This is very bad.
There weren't any plants in the room and you didn’t have any seeds with you. The other option would be the plants out in the warehouse, but each time you tried to reach for them, all you could feel was the sickly energy they had, and honestly it was making you feel a little bit nauseous. You’d never encountered that before, usually plants made you feel stronger, but they were all so sick that it was overwhelming your senses. You wondered if Elijah planned that.
"Well let's change that. I'd love for you to get to know me better." Elijah continues to move forward through the room slowly. "It’s a pity that the two of you had a spat, especially because you seem to care so much about him and he seems to care about you, and especially  because what he said must have hurt you, but I suppose it's better for me."
Ben doesn’t care about me, but Elijah doesn’t have to know that. If he knows who Ben really is, then he knows how dangerous he is, and if Elijah thinks that Ben will come to get me, that might be everything I need to make him back off.
"Why is that?" You inch around the table with Elijah following after you.
He's still smiling as if he believes that he's won.
"Because he won't come to save you if he hates you. Darren told me that the things you said to him were quite cruel. And I guess none of your team will be coming either."
Darren heard what we yelled at each other and he just pretended not to. He knew that Ben and I had a fight. He knows that Ben is Soldier Boy. Why would Darren do this? He's my brother-
"Of course my team will come to get me. They're on their way right now. And if I were you I'd let me go now, before this becomes an even bigger problem than it is." The lie isn’t completely out of your mouth before Elijah starts to laugh at you.
"No. They're all in Boston, including Soldier Boy." Elijah's smirk grows like the cat who caught the canary. "A thing about those anonymous tips, none of them seem to be that helpful. But Butcher wanted to catch that electric buffoon so badly I thought I might as well give him a push, not in the right direction unfortunately. I was hoping that Solider Boy and you would catch him the other night. He's been causing some trouble for me. Someone like him is bad for business, especially when I'm expanding into auto-motives."
"Oh no. The drug business isn't working out for you? So sad." You snark eyes flicking to the window for a minute and wondering if you could grab a chair and throw it out before he stopped you.
Elijah looks delighted. "I see you've noticed the problem. A rival of mine broke in and poisoned them, and instead of throwing away that much product and wasting more money I thought of you."
"What about me?"
"Well, your brother mentioned something in a game about his sister being able to 'make plants grow.' Honestly, your brother has a problem keeping his mouth shut about lots of things, but I was intrigued. He didn't see the value of such a gift as I did. And when Darren accumulated such a large sum of debt after the game I offered a deal."
"And what deal is that?" You take another step back, not looking away from Elijah.
"You."
Your entire body goes cold. "He wouldn't do that. My brother wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn’t give me to you as fucking payment!"
Because that was what Elijah was suggesting, he was suggesting that Darren would use you to pay off his gambling debts. Darren had done some shitty things in the past, but this seemed to be too much for him.
He wouldn’t do that to me. I'm his sister not some stranger. Darren is a lot of things, but that is too cold to consider.
"Oh my darling." Elijah sighs and throws you a pitying look. "He did. Do you really think he had to call someone? That he left his phone in the car? He needed your phone so you wouldn't call Butcher." Elijah looks at you as if you're a kicked puppy in need of solace. "But don't worry. I always take care of my toys, especially ones that are as beautiful as you."
"If you touch me I'm going to-" You begin to snarl at him
"You've got spirit." He smiles continuing to move towards you as you back away towards the door. "It always makes it more fun. More of a challenge to break."
"Stay away from me."
"I can't wait for you to beg for me to touch you."
"I mean it." You leap backward to grab the doorhandle, but as you do Elijah lunges across the room, grabbing your right arm to pull you away from the door.
He's still holding on and you bring your foot up between his legs hoping to find something soft, but when you do Elijah only laughs and tightens his grip on your arm and you hear a high-pitched snap that vibrates through your body.
At first you don’t understand what the sound was, but a wave of pain surges up and you realize the high pitched snap was the sound of your right arm breaking. The nausea comes roaring back, but the pain is almost excruciating as you try to pull your now broken arm from his grasp.
"Don't worry." Elijah purrs again. "I'm going to take good care of you."
And it's the last thing you hear as everything goes dark.
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Soldier Boy POV
4 Days Later…
Ben leaned back in the faded floral cloth armchair in the corner of the crowded motel room, his head thrown against the back of the chair, as he takes a hit from the blunt in between his thumb and forefinger.  The other people in the room continue to bicker and shout at one another pouring over a map and a laptop on the lone table pressed under the window in the corner of the room and it was ruining his buzz.
It had been four days since Ben had been shoved into the back of a car and taken to Boston, four days of listening to Butcher bitch and moan about why none of them could locate the electric supe, and four days since Ben had last seen you.
He exhales a cloud of smoke remembering the conversation the two of you had before he left. Honestly, he hadn’t meant to make you cry and he had no idea where any of what he shouted at you came from, but he was just so damn frustrated about the way your asshole brother was treating you and how damn trusting you were that he just exploded.
Everything he told you, he thought was obvious and something that you could see for yourself. And yet you stood there, eyes wide with tears, while he shouted those things at you and then you had the audacity to yell back at him.
He'd never met anyone so completely clueless and trusting before and it was infuriating. He hated that you let that asshole use you, hated how submissive you got whenever your brother brought up the fact that he was your only family, and Ben hated how you couldn’t see what was directly in front of your face.
All he'd wanted to do was tell you to be careful, and instead he insulted you. And then he'd had to listen to you cry to yourself quietly in your room like you also hadn't insulted him.
Why the fuck do I give a shit? She's just being damn hormonal and never wants to listen to anyone, but herself.
Ben's frown deepens when he remembers what you shouted back at him. He'd never allowed anyone to speak to him that way, then again no one had ever had the balls to and he respected that. Well, respected it, but wished you would fucking stop.
Worse still was that Ben didn't understand why he couldn't stop thinking about you. He'd never had that happen before, usually all it took to get a woman out of his mind was a quick fuck with whatever walked by, but that hadn't worked when he tried it last night.
He'd changed his location on tinder and gone out with a girl who looked nothing like you, and seemed to be the stupidest person Ben had ever met. This time he had bought her dinner, and Ben could feel himself zoning out while she talked about nothing at all. He thought of you while she talked, thought about how you always seemed to speak with purpose and how when you spoke about things they always seemed interesting and important. Not to mention he liked it when you talked because he wanted to learn more about you. You were so different than the women he'd met over the years and it was refreshing. Ben didn't like that he felt that way. He'd never been one for talking, he thought it was fucking boring, but for some reason talking to you was different.
The only time his date shut up was when Ben took her back to her apartment and yet on the walk home all Ben could think of is if you were okay. He didn't like that he had left you with your brother and he had been debating to tell Butcher to fuck off and follow Darren and you, but he hadn't wanted to after you said all that shit about his son and his old team.
Why the fuck do I give a shit what happens to her? All we do is live together. I'm not fucking her, I'm not-
He wasn't used to worrying about someone else, but he was worried about you and again Ben didn’t like it. He didn't like it so much that he almost walked back around the block to his previous date's apartment to see if she was ready to go for round three, but he didn't. Instead he went back to the motel room and tried to sleep, but he couldn't.
Over the past four days, each time Annie's phone rang or chirped he perked up hoping that it was you on the other line and every time it wasn't he seemed to sink further into the chair.
Ben puffed on the joint, but it wasn't as soothing as it had been in the past. The buzz wasn't taking the edge off the thoughts he had of you and it only pissed him off more.
Ben hadn't ever met anyone like you before. You were different and most of the time he never understood you, but he liked that about you. He liked that you were different than all the other women he had met in the past and he liked that you seemed to surprise him. He also thought that was why he liked talking to you, because he wanted to learn more about you so he could understand more.
Ben had never wanted to do that with anyone before, most of the time he just moved on, but not you. As much as he hated to admit it, it was making him want to spend more time around you, because you were interesting, odd, but interesting.
Especially because you kept refusing to sleep with him. It was a point of pride for him, being able to work whoever he wanted into bed with him, but not you. He had tried time and time again to get you to sleep with him using every trick in the book and yet, nothing.
Ben's mind flashes back to the other night at the party when you told him that you wouldn’t sleep with him was because you thought he "threw women away." It struck a nerve more than he thought it would when you said that to him. In fact, women had said similar things to him in the past, but he'd only laughed in their faces, but when you said it to him, it hit something deep inside that he thought he had locked away a long time ago. And weirder still Ben didn’t like it when you said that he wasn't "one for relationships" as if he couldn’t do it if he really tried.
I can do anything.
Ben downs the scotch in his other hand considering what you said and thinks of Countess. He thought that he'd loved her, he'd been in a relationship with her, an open one, but still it was something.
He remembered when you said that sex meant something to you and Ben had never met someone who felt that way before. Someone who thought that sex was special and should be shared with someone you loved. It was weird for him to consider that and Ben supposed that the only way he was ever going to have sex with you was if you fell in love with him or if he fell in love with you.
Yeah, like that'll fucking happen.
He rolled his eyes at the thought. He didn't think that he'd ever be able to fall in love with someone like you. Not with someone who infuriated him as much as you did and was so different than him in every way. Not when you made him angry and annoyed all the time because you refused to listen, talked back, and yelled at him.
The memory of you in his arms when he woke up four days ago surfaces and Ben swallows. He was going to kiss you, and you were going to let him, he knew it.
When he'd kissed you outside of your apartment the first night he came home with you, he'd only done it to make Mike leave you alone, but he hadn't expected to like it so much. And he'd wanted to kiss you badly when he woke up next to you. He thought you looked cute, your body soft against his, your hair flaring out over the pillow, your eyes wide, and your lips supple and welcoming. He'd wanted to trace his thumb over your lower lip, wanted to taste your lips again, and lose himself in everything you were.
I sound like a fucking pussy.
Ben sighed to himself again and closed his eyes, hoping to drown out his thoughts of you with the conversation Butcher and Annie were having over the laptop. MM was cleaning a gun and glaring at Ben while Kimiko and Frenchie were talking in rapid fire sign language that Ben couldn't understand and he wished you were there to translate or at least there to talk to him.
It's always so boring when she's not here.
Ben froze, thumb and middle finger pressed tightly on the blunt. He'd never done that before, never wanted a woman around to talk to, but that was what he meant. Even with Countess it was different. He wanted her around for a good fuck but they didn't talk about anything important and they certainly didn't sit around on the couch and watch his old films and he never sat with her while she read a book.
Ben's mind went back to the other day when you'd sat with him quietly on the other side of the couch, your gaze so focused on the pages of a book that you hadn't seen him watch you read. He noticed that when you did, you sometimes stopped breathing, like you'd forgotten that you needed to and whatever was in the book was more important than oxygen and that you sometimes formed the words with your lips as you did. Ben didn't know why he thought it was so interesting when you read, but he couldn’t look away. Sometimes during the day he'd have some free time from Butcher and he'd walk past the plant shop to see what you were doing and would see you sitting at the counter reading to yourself. He always thought about going inside, but you looked so peaceful that he didn’t want to interrupt you.
It was better than when he found you talking with that idiot Jake. Ben rolled his eyes to himself at the thought of your boss.
He definitely wants to fuck her. Ben sighs crossing his legs. And she wants him to. She shouldn't. She needs someone that'll actually be able to handle her. That guy's built like a fucking twig, not to mention he's not a supe.
Ben's jaw tightened with the thought of walking in on the two of you fucking in the apartment. You had made a rule about Ben not having any women there, but you'd never said anything about you bringing back someone. You hadn't yet and Ben hoped that you wouldn't bring Jake there anytime soon. His grip on the arm of the chair tightens to the point that he pierces through inside to the stuffing. Ben wasn't sure he'd be able to go into the apartment to listen to the two of you, let alone smell him all over you when you were done.
It was bad enough when you'd come back to the apartment smelling like the plant guy and Ben didn't want to experience what it was like after you'd had sex with him and have to smell him all over you. That also made him a little confused. Ben had fucked plenty of women who had significant others, women who threw themselves at him, and he hadn't cared about sharing. Not to mention Ben didn't get jealous, ever, whenever Countess had messed around with someone else at Herogasm Ben would watch, but with you… The sound of the arm of the chair breaking in his hand is audible when he thinks about someone else touching you, but no one else notices.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I care? She's infuriating! And she's always so damn angry with me all the time that I'm pretty sure she'd never let me kiss her ever again let alone touch-
"Hello?" Annie held her phone up to her ear interrupting Ben's train of thought. "Oh hey Jake what's-"
Ben perked up at the sound of Jake's name with a frown. He hoped again that while he was gone you wouldn't sleep with him.
"I'm worried, I haven't heard anything from her and she didn't come in for her shift this morning." Ben heard Jake say on the other side of the line referring to you.
His muscles tensed slightly. Ben hadn’t wanted to leave you there with your brother, something about the guy made him antsy. Ben had met men like him in the past, men who used things like family and love to manipulate people into caring about him. He knew that  Darren was your brother and you were just so kind and open that you would do whatever he asked without question. 
Darren knew that. He knew exactly what to say to her to get her to give in.
Ben wondered how much you’d let Darren get away with in the past and quietly made a promise to himself that he wouldn't let Darren get anything out of you ever again for as long as Ben was around.
"Do you think she's running late?" Annie asks diplomatically, but Ben doesn’t miss the way her eyebrows scrunch together and the worried look she throws Hughie who is sitting across the table looking up at her.
"Not three hours. I tried to text her and when she texted back the message was weird." Jake presses.
"What do you mean weird?"
"Well, she used a lot of emoji's and she never does that."
Ben watched Annie's smile pull down into a frown. "Huh. Here I'm going to try to call her and I'll call you back okay."
"Sure."
Annie hangs up the phone and scrolls her finger on the screen to find your number.
"Everything alright?" Hughie asks leaning back in his chair.
"I'm not sure." Annie puts the phone up to her ear again.
Ben can hear the ringing on the other side of the line and he finds himself leaning forward, waiting for you to answer.
"Come on. Pick up the phone." Annie whispers while tapping her foot on the ground.
When you don't she opens the text thread of messages the two of you have and texts you. When you moved to the city the two of you had come up with phrases and words that you used to warn each other of danger. Annie insisted on it. Two single women living in a big city meant that the two of you were targets even if you were supes and as capable as the two of you felt handling your own, it was a comfort to have someone else.
Annie: Hey babe! I'm thinking about dying my hair blue again. Thoughts?
She waited patiently staring at the screen. Ben couldn't help but watch her with interest, he didn't know what was going on, only that Annie seemed to be worried. Something that he had never seen her be.
You: Hey girl! I think you should go for it! You always rock it.
Ben hears Annie's sharp intake of breath and rises from his chair understanding that something is wrong.
"Fuck." Annie mutters.
In middle school as an act of rebellion, Annie had tried to dye her hair blue with a box of cheap hair dye the two of you bought at the pharmacy in town while Annie's mother was away. But when it was done, something had obviously gone wrong. The dye must have been old or maybe just too cheap to do any good because it had dyed Annie's hair a vomit colored green. And to make matters worse, Annie had a terrible allergic reaction. It was that day the two of you realized that she was allergic to the chemicals most hair dyes. Her entire head had swelled up and she had to go to the Emergency Room.
Not to mention when Annie's mother showed up she told Annie she "deserved it" for doing that to her hair. The only way the Doctors could help her was to wash her hair out with bleach and then when that didn't work they cut it all off.
Annie had to wear itchy wigs for months after.
The correct response you were supposed to have was:
"Fuck no. Do you want to shave your head again?"
"Butcher-" Annie says raising her eyes from her phone.
"Yeah?" He doesn't look up from the map in front of him, trying to find out where the supe is hiding.
"We have to go back." She touches his shoulder to get his attention.
"Why?" Butcher looks at her annoyed, and he was. He had devoted a lot of man power to finding this supe and a lot of his own personal time. The last thing he was going to do is to come up empty handed.
Annie says your name. "Is in trouble."
"What do you mean?" Ben asks.
"She didn't show up to work today and she never just skips." Annie explains. "And we have code messages we made and she answered wrong." She holds out her phone to show Butcher the text thread.
“Hair dye?” Butcher still doesn’t look convinced.
“She knows I’m allergic. And she didn’t show up to work today.”
“Maybe she slept in-“ Butcher didn't want to drive all the way back to NYC for no reason, not when he believed he was close to catching the electric supe.
“She loves that job. And yes maybe she runs late, but she’d never just vanish or not go into work without calling Jake.” Annie pulls her phone back and begins to swipe through.
“What are you doing?” Ben questions. By now he could feel something unfamiliar tightening in his chest, a weird feeling that he couldn't place.
“We share our locations with one another.” Annie replies typing something on her phone. “I just have to find the app and-“ She looks down at the screen for a moment before raising it so Butcher can see. “See look! Why would she be all the way in Brooklyn?” 
“Maybe that’s where her brother took her.” Ben grunts taking another puff from the joint in his fingers, hoping that it will relieve some of the weird tension he was feeling, but it doesn't.
Annie swivels her head around to glare at Ben so fast he gets whiplash. "Wait a minute. Darren's in town? Why didn't you say anything?"
“Yeah. Fucker spent the night four days ago.”
“And you left her with him alone?"
“He was going to take her to meet his friend-”
“For fucks sake Ben, why didn’t you just slather her in honey and tie her to an ant hill?" Annie shouts waving her hands dramatically at him.
Guess she doesn't like him either.
"Well-"
Annie isn't interested in what he has to say, instead she begins to type something on her phone and raises it one final time to her ear.
"Where the fuck is she?" Annie snarls into the phone and it doesn’t take Ben much time to figure out that she's called Darren.
"Who?" The voice of your brother fills the phone and Ben's hands clench together into fists at his sides.
Ben can tell he's lying from just one word and he feels rage begin to replace the odd feeling, licking up against the walls of his chest like an unquenchable fire.
"You know who you fucking leech." Annie spits.
"I don’t know. I took her back to her place after she met my friend. Think they hit it off." Darren sounds casual and Ben can almost imagine the sick smirk on his face.
"If you’re lying, I’m going to roast you alive like the pig you are."
"Oh baby the way you talk to me."
"Darren I’m serious."
"I don’t understand why you’re getting your panties in a wad Annie. She’s fine. I took her back to the plant shop four days ago after she met my friend, because she wanted to go to work. I haven’t heard from her since."
"Darren-" Annie begins to say, but Ben crosses the room so fast he didn't remember moving and snatches the phone from Annie.
"Listen to me you little shit." Ben growls into the phone. "If she's fucking hurt I am going to show you what it's like to be turned inside out."
"Whoa easy there Benny boy I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but-"
"For your sake I hope you're telling the truth, because if you're not there's going to be no where for you to hide from me and there's not going to be enough left of you to wipe up with a tissue." Ben hits the off button on the phone call and as he does he realizes that everyone in the room is staring at him with wide eyes, but he ignores it.
"Oi what the fuck was that mate?" Butcher says, but Ben ignores him.
"You can either give me the fucking keys to your car or I can take them from what's left of you." Ben snarls. "You get to pick."
Butcher eyes him for a minute, considering. "Come on yank, let's go."
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A/N: And we have the reappearance of Elijah Black who is just as creepy as he was the first time. Maybe more? Wanted to throw in a little bit of Ben POV because it's a lot of fun to write and he's just so conflicted about everything, not to mention just as clueless as the reader when it comes to how he really feels.
As always thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are not required, but are always appreciated. Feedback is always welcome. If you'd like to be added to my taglist for this series please let me know :)
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lordsukunas · 14 days ago
Text
“tada!”
you step out of the dressing room, and, just like always, you are absolutely radiant. the room, once illuminated by the dim, warm ceiling lights is now practically shining with your natural glow.
the white dress is absolutely gorgeous on you. it hugs your frame deliciously, and satoru is weak — his eyes, hidden like a coward behind those dark glasses, trace the curve of your waist, the roundness of your chest and hips, the dip in your shoulders.
ethereal.
it’s as if it was made just for you. the material, the dye, the seamstress, the fashion designer — they must have had you in mind when they created this, because it suits no one else. no one will ever be able to pull off such a dress, not in a million years.
“uh, satoru?” oh, shit.
he blinks, then coughs, a huge grin spreading across his face. he hopes you don’t notice how pink his ears are. “i was payin’ attention, i swear! you look good– stunning, really.”
your lips, so soft and kissable-looking, curve up into a smile. “you just blanked out on me. if you don’t like the dress, you can just say that, y’know...” there’s a teasing lilt in your voice, and his ears burn just a bit hotter.
satoru quickly shakes his head, and he places his hands on your shoulders. your skin is warm, like it’s been kissed personally by the sun. “no, no! i love it. it suits you, and it’s your wedding, so it’s up to you.”
envy, a rare but absolutely repulsive feeling, curls up in his gut and ties it into knots. right. this is your wedding. you and nanami.
not him.
he steps back and filters you out of his infinity. he should remember his place.
you twist side to side, the expensive fabric swishing and dragging against the polished floors. “i know, but... you’re my best friend, and i really want this to be perfect. ken-ken–” (he knows you and nanami are well-beyond first-name basis by now, but the nickname catches him off-guard.) “–would likely think any dress i choose looks nice, but you’re a pretty harsh critic! remember when i went on a date for the first time and i had on that hideous dress with the bad zipper?”
“yeah.” he snorts, and some of the envy ebbs away, replaced by a warm fuzziness. his fingers were trembling trying to zip up the back of that dress, just for the thing to be broken. “you looked fucking ridiculous.”
“see? that’s my point right there!”
“you make me sound so mean.” satoru huffs, slapping a hand dramatically to his chest. “i’m a great guy! a perfect one!”
perfect for you.
you scoff, lifting the dress up a bit so you can easily walk over to your purse and find your phone. “mhm, sure. i’ll believe that when i attend your wedding next time.”
satoru slumps down on the loveseat, crossing one long leg over the other. “don’t need a wedding to prove i’m irresistible,” he grumbles.
out of the corner of his eye, he watches your fingers fly across the screen, and that small, adorable smile on your face tells him exactly who you’re texting.
and envy comes right back, bubbling up and settling in his throat, hot and acidic.
he’s right here. this is supposed to be about you and satoru. kento can wait. you see him when you go home, don’t you? in a few weeks, you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that man — can’t you make time for just your best friend?
“you telling nanami about the dress?” if you weren’t so absorbed in your phone, you might have noticed the strain in satoru’s voice.
you nod. “yeah, i wanna take a picture for him,” you say, going over to him. instinctively, you shift closer to him, already holding your phone up to take a photo, but you can feel his infinity pulsing against your side.
huh.
your brows knit together. “your infinity is on.”
“it’s always on.” he shrugs, as if him having his infinity up around his purpose in life is absolutely normal.
your hand moves to swat at his arm, only for it to press against the border of atoms. awkwardly, your hand falls limp into your lap. “yeah, but usually i don’t feel it.” a pause. “is everything okay? are you sick? if you wanna leave, we can, dress shopping can wait.”
the genuine concern in your tone strikes satoru right in the heart, and he swears it stops beating for a moment. he’s being an asshole, you didn’t do anything wrong. why is he pushing you away? how does he stop?
“... sorry.” he wraps an arm around your shoulders, yanking you in closer. your shoulder rests against his bicep, and the sides of both your thighs touch.
the gentle, refreshing smell of your perfume wafts into his nose. his eyes dart to the crook of your neck, where he knows it’ll be strongest.
“pose!” you nudge him, and he looks at the camera, an easy smile curving his lips. satoru’s glad for his glasses again — nanami won’t be able to see the lust in his eyes.
man idk ill lock in on this later
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one-hundred forty-one. satoru picks another skull up, places it between both of his hands, and crushes it into dust. one-hundred forty-two.
he’s sorry, by the way. you’ll never know it, but he is.
the wedding was supposed to be last month. it’s been two weeks, four days, seven hours, thirty-six minutes, and twelve seconds. thirteen, since he’s been sealed in this box.
he isn’t going to sit here and mope about that... imposter getting one over on him. he’s done that enough, and he’s absolutely sure you’d make fun of him.
satoru was best-man. he was supposed to be by nanami’s side and congratulate both of you. itadori, megumi, kugisaki... they were supposed to be there, too. kugisaki as the flower girl, megumi as the ring-bearer, and itadori to play cheerleader.
it was supposed to be great.
but he didn’t go. couldn’t make the flight, because of course curse users decided to stir shit up the night he planned to leave.
that’s another reason for him to hate them. they’re always ruining the things he loves, taking and taking and taking–
one-hundred forty-three.
he’s running out of skulls to crush, and he’s already worked out for the day. it’s weird in here – after all the sweating he’s done, oddly enough, he doesn’t stink.
satoru sighs, laying flat on his back, bright eyes staring up into the void. do you hate him? you should.
he’s not a good person. he wanted– wants you, even after you and nanami started dating. even after the engagement. and, now, even after marriage. who yearns for something they can’t have? that’s pathetic!
but... forgive him, please.
forgive him for not attending your wedding, for not confessing sooner, for not sweeping you off your feet first, for not keeping his eyes and hands to himself.
satoru gojo loves you. always and forevermore. and he’s sorry.
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unfinished :/
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literaryvein-reblogs · 3 months ago
Note
Other ways for your character to say I love you?
“And the sunlight clasps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea – What are all these kissings worth if thou kiss not me?” —Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love’s Philosophy
Be soft on someone - to love someone or like someone very much
“Be with me, darling, early and late.” —John Frederick Nims, Love Poem
Besotted - to be completely in love with someone and always thinking of them
Carry a torch for [someone] - to be in love with someone
“Clasp me close in your warm young arms, while the pale stars shine above, and we’ll live our whole young lives away in the joys of a living love.” —Ella Wheeler Wilcox, I Love You
“Come live with me, and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove.” —John Donne, The Bait
Dote on someone - to love someone completely and believe they are perfect
“Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine; Or leave a kiss but in the cup, And I’ll not look for wine.” —Ben Jonson, Song: To Celia
"For God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love [you]." —John Donne 1572–1631 English poet and divine: Songs and Sonnets ‘The Canonization’
Head over heels (in love) - completely in love
“I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you. Tell me what to do. Show me how to behave. I’ll do anything you say.” —Choderlos de Laclos, Dangerous Liaisons
“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.” —A.S. Byatt, Possession
“I dreamed you bewitched me into bed and sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.” —Sylvia Plath, Mad Girl’s Love Song
“I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.” —W.B. Yeats, Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
“I have to tell you, there are times when the sun strikes me like a gong, and I remember everything, even your ears.” —Dorothea Grossman, I Have to Tell You
“I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” —Gabriel García Márquez, Love In The Time Of Cholera
“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.” —Elizabeth Barrett Browning, How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…
“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.” ―Margaret Atwood, Variation on the Word Sleep
“I'll help you hide the body, always.” ―Me (L. V.)
“I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.” ―Ian McEwan, Atonement
“If certain, when this life was out, That yours and mine should be, I’d toss it yonder like a rind, And taste eternity.” ―Emily Dickinson, If You Were Coming in the Fall
"If I love you, what does that matter to you!" —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749–1832 German poet, novelist, and dramatist: Wilhelm Meisters Lehrjahre (1795–6) bk. 4, ch. 9
"Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’" —Erich Fromm 1900–80 American philosopher and psychologist: The Art of Loving (1956)
“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” —Jane Austen, Pride And Prejudice
Infatuated with someone - having a very strong but not usually lasting feeling of love or attraction for someone
“It well may be that in a difficult hour, Pinned down by pain and moaning for release, Or nagged by want past resolution’s power, I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It well may be. I do not think I would.” —Edna St. Vincent Millay, Love Is Not All
Live for someone - to have someone as the most important thing in your life
Lose your heart to someone - to fall in love with someone
Love me, love my dog - said to warn someone that if they want to be in a relationship with you, they must be willing to accept everything about you
Love someone to the moon and back - to love someone very much, usually used to tell someone how much you love them
“Oh plunge me deep in love – put out my senses, leave me deaf and blind, swept by the tempest of your love, a taper in a rushing wind.” —Sara Teasdale, I Am Not Yours
Steal someone's heart - if someone steals your heart, you start to love or like them very much
Sweep someone off their feet - to make someone become suddenly and completely in love with you
The apple of someone's eye - the person who someone loves most and is very proud of
The light of your life - the person you love most
“This poem is endless, the odds against us are endless, our chances of being alive together statistically nonexistent; still we have made it.” —Lisel Mueller, Alive Together
“Trees and seas have flown away, I call it loving you.” —Reginald Shepherd, You, Therefore
Worship the ground someone walks on - to love and admire someone very much
“You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought.” —Arthur Conan Doyle, The White Company
“You are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing.” —E.E. Cummings, I Carry Your Heart With Me
Sources: 1 2 3
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undertheorangetree · 1 year ago
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To Be Alone With You
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Summary- Osferth becomes infatuated with a healer from the continent.
Warnings- MDNI 18+ NSFW. Female Reader. Osferth's got a big old crush. Like he’s down bad. Blood. Minor injuries. Shoddy knowledge of 10th century healing. Blasphemy. Admittedly more plot than porn. Cunnilingus. Masturbation. P in V sex. Against a wall in a church no less.
Author's Note- The fact that Osferth canonically fucks and is good at it to the point where women fight over him lives in my mind rent free. Anyway read the rest on ao3 link is belowww
dividers by me lmao
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Osferth likes to think that he's different now. Or at least, that he has changed since first joining Uhtred. He's grown further into himself- his confidence, his ability to be a warrior, that he himself has changed as a whole. He's stronger now and though he still values his faith, it does not feel so all consuming, an anchor around his throat forever reminding him of his bastardry. He is proud of the man he has become, of the one that he continues to grow into, and it feels right that, over time, he has changed for the better.
But he seems to forget all that the moment he lays eyes on her.
She had arrived with a traveling priest from the continent, one who had come with the intention of spreading the word of God to the infamously heretical ealdorman. And though she traveled with a priest and his retinue, she wore no habit. Her hair was loose, catching the waning rays of the sun and he felt his heart stutter in his chest when he caught the colour of it shining in the light. She had caught his eye then, as their little ship docked, and smiled at him so brightly he felt himself fall back into the boy he once was, the cursed baby monk.
Though Uhtred had wanted to throw the whole group out at the first sign of a sermon, he agreed to give them a night in the inn out of respect for how long they had been traveling- after they had paid a small fee, of course- and Osferth had managed to catch her in the tavern later that night.
The words had caught in his throat the moment he tried to speak, but Finan had been with him and it had been easy for him to ask if they could join her and begin a conversation. He had nursed his mug of ale while they spoke, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of her further, and joined Finan in highlighting all that Coccham had to offer. Finan had quickly become drunk, but they had found a joint amusement in that and he had revelled in every smile she cast his way. They learned that she was the priest's healer, having studied in Frankia before deciding to join the priest in order to see what the world had to offer. She told them of her travels to Burgundy, Provence, and the Northern Byzantine Empire, regailing them with stories Osferth could only dream about. Uhtred had joined them midway through the conversation, allowing Osferth the opportunity to join her on her bench, their arms brushing against each other.
By the time morning came, the priest had gone and she had stayed on as their healer. Uhtred offered her a cottage and the promise to retrieve everything she could possibly need. He had grinned at Osferth the moment she turned her back on them, raising his eyebrows playfully, and he had felt his face begin to burn from how obvious his immediate infatuation must have been.
At first, he simply admired her from afar. Though he is proud of all the progress he has made to become the man he is now, that all seems to melt away when he is around her. More often than not, he stumbles over his words when he tries to speak to her, face burning scarlet and heart beating faster in his chest. It is clear that the others know of his infatuation, as they do everything in their power to facilitate some kind of interaction between them. Inviting him over when they are speaking to her, offering her his assistance whenever she needs it. Finan had gone so far as to shove him in her direction whenever he felt like causing trouble, though thank God he had only stumbled into her once. She had done little more than laugh then but he had avoided her for two days out of sheer humiliation.
It is safer to simply keep his distance. Though he enjoys talking to her- more than enjoys it, if he is honest with himself- he does little more than embarrass himself when he tries. He wants more, he wants everything, but for now he will settle for admiration. Distance.
It seems kinder. To both himself and her.
He can see her now, walking back to her cottage with a basket full of herbs and flowers she must have picked nearby the river. There is a woman walking with her, one he doesn't know well enough to know her name, but they are laughing as if they are close friends. The other woman reaches out to rest a hand on her arm and he watches longingly as she raises her own to clutch at the other woman's fingers. He cannot hear what they're saying over the echoing clack of the wooden swords the boys are using to practice- a sparring match he is admittedly supposed to be monitoring- but she has a pull on him he can't quite explain and he can’t bring himself to look away.
It comes with consequences.
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Read the rest here
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baddiewiththebook · 3 months ago
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Over the Years | e.m x reader | p. 7
-> The origin story of Eddie Munson, and how he fell in love with the worst person he possibly could - his best friend.
-> eddie munson x you (she/her)
-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst
-> warnings - strong language, suggestive themes, smut [18+]
-> <-
June 1983
You awake with an ache near your temple. Dragging yourself onto your right side, a dull pain presses into your lower back until you hear a stiff pop. You take in a breath of hot air, and you suddenly remember the fan on your desk isn’t facing you and it isn’t even turned on.
It comes back to you in a haze of clouded thought. You were awake late last night waiting for your mother to come home from a night of bar hopping, and flirting with men for their money.
It happens like this;
In the night, your mother will come home by blasting through the front door in a spell. Booze leaks from her pores. As she stumbles to bed, she will flick on the light adjacent to your room. Light shines underneath your door. You can see this from where you lay your head at night. It is then, when she’s tucked away in her cave that you would get out of bed. You’ll open the bedroom door, and take a peek down the hallway. Her bedroom light is now on, and you can shut off the light that she’s forgotten. Finally, you feel your way back through the dark and twist the fan on your desk to face just below your chin and you flick on the fan to the lowest setting. It’s quiet enough to not disturb her oncoming hangover, and yet cool enough to keep you from sweating throughout the night.
Last night was the first night that she never came home.
When you open up your eyes, you are flashed with hot sun pouring through your broken blinds. You groan to think that you could have had another moment of slumber. Really, you’re unsure when you fell asleep. You began to breathe slower when you thought that maybe she would be too drunk to even find the light switch. That maybe you could hear the soft clicking of her bare feet tip-toeing through the house, since she always took off her high heels before stepping through the threshold.
There are a few times you could recall that she’s been mad at you for being up when she got home. You would like to imagine her not wanting you to see her in a state of drunkenness, however you also know she’s embarrassed. She won’t tell you out loud, but she’s facing critical debt that you won’t even be able to claw out of when she’s passed away.
You climb out of bed that morning, and you first use the restroom. It’s on the way to your mother’s bedroom. When you knock on the door, there is no answer. Upon opening the door, you’re met with an empty bed that hasn’t been slept in recently. Her sheets are tossed sloppily, but they’re also cold.
Turning on your heel, you double time to the front room. There are emergency numbers to call on the fridge in the kitchen. Someone around town must have seen her. Your worry is for nothing. As you run through the numbers written across many sticky notes, one in particular stands out among the rest. You pull down the envelope stuck to the fridge by a thick magnet shaped like a bear. He wears a Chef hat and holds a rolling pin at his side.
Inside the envelope, you see a hand written note from your mom that says she won’t be back for a few days because she will be at the ocean with Frank. You have no idea who Frank is, but you have no choice but to believe her. She also asks for you to go to the grocery store with the money that she has left. It’s less than one-hundred dollars.
You sigh.
As you tap the money back into the envelope with your fingers held flat, you hear a soft knocking at your front door. It’s so soft you would miss the person on the other side if you weren’t already in the kitchen. The mounted clock on your kitchen wall says that the time is just after nine-thirty in the morning. Not only have you slept horribly warm and you slept on your back, which you never do; you’ve also slept in past your usual hour even for the summer time.
That knocking could only mean one thing. Robin Buckley has biked across town to meet you at your door. She’s very aware, by now, that your mother is in a different place in her life. Your mom comes home late, and she uses the mornings and the afternoons to sleep. Since it is summer, Robin worries that you’ll get cooped up in your house. It’s dark, and there aren’t many decorations anymore since your mom began selling your shared possessions for grocery money. You can only hope that’s what she is doing with the cash anyway.
“Hi, Rob,” you stand in front of her in your old t-shirt and your socks. With the door propped open by your toes, you can feel that the air outside is much cooler than the air in your trailer. Whoever made these tin boxes wanted you to cook like sardines. Yuck!
Robin bounces with a quiet step. She’s always been a morning person, even when she doesn’t have to be. That’s usually because she has something she has to tell you like a secret around school, or there is a question she has that can only be answered in person so she can see you react.
“Let’s go shopping,” she pokes her head around your shoulder, and keeps her voice low enough so that she doesn’t wake the beast.
You invite her inside your home, “it’s nice to see you too, Robin. My mom’s not here.”
Robin knows you well-enough throughout the years that there is worry behind your eyes.
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know,” you give her the same letter your mom has written you, so that she can read it over.
Robin rolls her eyes at your mom’s flakiness, and for the lack of letting you know where she’s gone off too. Your mom has become quite vague in her stories, so much so that it’s curious if any of them are true.
Despite her quirks, your mom is the only parent you have. If she’s really gone, would they ship you off to your dad that you’ve never met? Your mom has given you so many tall-tales, and so many excuses that you don’t bother asking anymore questions.
You’ve grown to like Hawkins- er- the people that are in the tiny town. That doesn’t mean you’ve cut off your adventurous side that begs you to break free of your chains and to follow your dreams of going to a huge university in the city, then traveling across the world. Your journals would be filled with pages among pages of your adventures. A true dream that can only be imagined.
You float back to earth when the door you just shut is tapped on again. This time your neighbor has stopped by with a gift wrapped in old newspaper.
“Good morning, Eddie,” you prop the door again. “My mom’s not here.”
The warning becomes tiresome. You’ve never met another person, who must apologize for their mom’s behavior. She’s just in a funk, you would excuse her. It’s a sorry sight to see the people she once knew daily, and they ask how she is with the same somber expression. She’s just in a funk.
Lately, Eddie hasn’t been coming by your house. He waits for you to get an opportunity to slip away to visit him. Your mom would spill harsh lies about the intentions he has with you. She will spit venom into his eye about a fantasy where you’ve become bare-footed and pregnant. Soon, Eddie will have no job and no prospects, so that you’re stuck in Hawkins. It’ll be Eddie’s fault that he ruins you.
Your friendship with Eddie has hit rocky waters in the past year. There’s a tension set there because Eddie can’t get past that you’re growing up beside him. You’re not a little girl that needs someone to hold your hand anymore. Whenever a boy shows the slightest interest in you, Eddie’s claws come out. According to Eddie’s standards, no one is good enough for you and you won’t be settling for anyone less than perfect. But, who is he to decide that for you?
It’s gotten to the point where you avoid Eddie at school sometimes. You have to sneak about in the long routes to your classes. Luckily for you, Eddie will graduate next year. It sounds harsh, but maybe without him there scaring all the boys off you’ll get a chance to meet somebody half decent. You know that Eddie means well, after all. He just doesn’t know when to quit firing at nothing.
“Happy birthday!” Eddie holds the gift out to you with a smile that could melt a dentist. That’s saying something because Eddie’s teeth are shockingly straight and white for never going to see a real dentist past his thirteenth year of life (because he can’t afford the dentist and it’s NOT because he’s is afraid of them).
Soon, you’ll be fifteen. It’s nothing different than fourteen. You can imagine few life changes this year. It’s just there to taunt you about your future. And for that, fifteen can eat rotten eggs.
Then again, as you tear the wrapping off of your gift and you reveal a shiny new black leather bound jornal, maybe fifteen won’t be so forgotten about. You wouldn’t have the money to afford such a thing, but Eddie could never see you put away your writing.
It’s silly to say, but Eddie adores the face you make while you journal your life away. You get real focused and you zone out, while talking to yourself. There’s no world around you, while you journal. It’s just you and that pen- pen!
Eddie puts his hand in his back pocket, and rummages around to feel for the second part of your gift. A brand new set of writing pens that are inscribed with your name. He had to get these in the city, but that two hour drive to get there and to get back is worth seeing your eyes light up with your dream becoming reality. Not to pat himself on the back or anything.
“Eddie!” You knock the wind out of him a bit when you rush to hug him around the chest. His large hands stroke your spine.
“Anything for you,” and he means it.
Robin waits for your embrace to finish, and for the both of you to return to earth to try to insert herself in the conversation. It’s all background noise because Eddie pulls out his car keys to his van.
“I figure,” he jangles the keys in front of your face, “you might want a lesson or two?”
The day that Eddie Munson offers to let you take control of his van you thought pigs would be flying all over this place. Yet, he’s is completely deadpan serious.
As much as you want to take up his offer, you tilt your head over to your friend, Robin.
“Actually, Robin and I are going shopping this morning. Can we reschedule for this afternoon?” You propose.
Eddie’s face falls, “I’ve got practice with the band, sweetheart.”
You click your teeth, “when are you free?”
“Maybe sometime this weekend?”
“Okay, yeah,” you bounce with joy. “I’ll see you!”
“It’s nice to see you, Robin,” Eddie knows when he’s overstayed his welcome between you two.
Still, Robin is polite enough to wave to him. They don’t hang out enough to really get to know each other. Again, your mother has been making your life a bit more complicated. You would love to have your friends over for a sleepover, but she would say that the Devil has you by His toe.
This is odd because she’s never terribly been religious in the years prior.
“Let me change, and we can go,” you tell Robin.
-> <-
You cannot wait to learn how to drive. Peddling your bike around town has earned you some calf muscles like an athlete, but you’ll still tire out before you even get to your destination. Not to mention that it is also very difficult to bring home groceries and other goodies you find, while you’re in town.
Since your birthday is coming up, Robin thought that a day of shopping would suit you. Both of you like to go to the stores just to try on clothes and to feel pretty for a couple of hours, before you put them all back on the rack. You’ll head down the street for a bite at the cafe, and then you’ll go home.
Today, Robin is really insistent that you buy a dress for your birthday party. You’re not so sure that the party will happen this year because your mom has made no mention of the day you were born all month. Traditionally, she begins the month of June by wishing you a “happy birthday month.” This year, however, has been quiet as a mouse.
When you do see your mother, she’s usually intoxicated by booze or by other means that you’ve suspected for a while now. She has a tendency to lock herself in her bedroom for hours at a time, and when she finally emerges, she will appear more exhausted than when she first went inside of her room. Her eyes have sunken. They’re redder than a ripened tomato. And, her skin is ghastly pale and she has gone gray in color. You miss the days she was young and she was full of bright life with a red lipstick smile. You’re lucky now if she even draws on her eyebrows evenly without smudges these days.
Enough thinking about her, you’ve decided. Robin and yourself have entered the first dress shop you see on the Main Street. It’s not so crowded, but it is still quite early - around ten thirty. A woman examines the stitching around the neckline of a shorter length dress. She blows air through her lips like a horse, before pointing her nose in a different direction. There is a man with broad shoulders in his thirties, hovering over a jewelry stand. Perhaps he is buying something for his wife. You do recall seeing a wedding band across his finger.
Robin links your arm with hers, which is something she usually will do. Together you will search through what feels like hundreds of fabrics. Some of them will be stretchy. Others will cling to your body.
You want something subtle in color, but you like the thought of a more modest appearance. Most of the options in front of you are far too dressy. Until, you come across the most beautiful dress with a skirt that would touch the middle of your calves. It’s pink. Your fingers melt at the touch of cotton.
“You have to try this dress on,” Robin watches your eyes sparkle.
Checking the price tag is a mistake because the cost is scary. You’ve never touched something with value over fifty bucks. This?!
You tuck the dress back into the rack, “No.”
“What?!” Robin exclaims. “Come on! It’s for your birthday!”
“That price?” You scoff. “Robin, I have to buy groceries.”
“You don’t have to buy it,” she coaxes and she nudges you to try on the dress. “Try it on!”
Robin hops up and down when you reach forward to land your hand on the dress in question. And, with her by your side, the two of you head to the dressing rooms. You want to ask her why she doesn’t join you today, but the words fall flat against the grain of your tongue.
When you get to the dressing rooms, you’re shocked to see Gareth Emerson amongst the skirts and the blouses hanging on the rack to be put back on the shelves. There’s a tiny waiting room where he sits. Another seat is empty for Robin to take her place, as she will wait impatiently for you to try on the dress.
You stop in your tracks feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. It’s as though someone has trapped you in the spot where you stand with the heaviest weights known to man. Gareth hasn’t seen you yet because he’s too busy brushing off some feathers that came from the dress hanging on his right. Sitting between his legs is a woman’s purse overflowing with all sorts of things. You wonder why he’s here today, rather than preparing for the boys to come over to practice in his mom’s garage. As you contemplate asking him that very question, your answer bursts through a door of the changing room.
“Gary!”
Gareth’s head whips at the sound of that terrible nickname being announced to the entire store. Heat rises to his face and settles in his cheeks. You’ve met his mom only in passing, but you’ve forgotten how enthusiastic she can be. It’s all in good fun . . . for her.
Alice Emerson is the type of mom to make sure everyone knows, who her kid is. To the other people in the room, she’s loving her son. While Gareth reeks of embarrassment.
You only wish your mom was more like her. But, that’s the luck of the draw.
As soon as Gareth looks up, he sees his mom trying on a bright blue blouse. This would be the third top she’s tried on. And, boy, do they all look the same. Gareth could never imagine getting this worked up over clothes. But, his mom really wanted that promotion from work. She’s got to look the part if she wants the job that bad.
“You look great, mom,” he tries to sound less bored.
The compliment falls flat.
“Just ‘great’?” She tugs at the loose fabric on the front of her blouse.
Robin pipes up behind you, before you shoot her that warning glare not too;
“I think you look beautiful,” she compliments, “you look like a flower.”
“A flower?” Gareth’s mom faces Robin with a thoughtful stare. She still picks at the loose fabric, then checks herself in the tall standing mirror that’s just beyond where Gareth sits.
Robin decides to follow her around.
Gareth’s gaze finally falls upon you, although it doesn’t last long because he stares curiously at the dress hooked between your fingers.
You answer, “it’s my birthday next week.”
“Oh, right,” like he would forget.
Even though he’s never invited, you throw a small get together each year. Your mom buys a cheap cake from the store with some candles and a lighter. Wayne, Eddie, Robin and your mom will all sing you happy birthday over the dining table after making you slap on a silly party hat.
Eddie would tell him why he couldn’t hang out the next day, and Gareth would be left with a recap. No, he’s not jealous by any means. It just sucks to not have Eddie around for practice.
Never mind.
“Big plans?” Gareth grinds his teeth. A dirty habit he must have picked up when he was younger. It’s just to distract him from the tight grip that someone has on his belly whenever he speaks to anyone.
You shrug, “actually, I’m not so sure. I’m waiting to see if my mom comes back from wherever she is.”
You don’t mean to dump your problems on Gareth, especially Gareth. Still, as you find yourself drawn away from Eddie - you find that Gareth has a place somewhere in your life. Even at school, he seems to find you more often than Eddie would.
Gareth’s face falls in the moment as if contemplating what you’ve said, and how to go about the next sentence. Your humor falls flat, but mostly because of the way your own face shakes when you joke about your mom ‘coming back.’
“Well,” he points to the dress in your hand. “Are you going to try it on?”
“Yes,” Robin answers for you, over her shoulder and while she’s busy with Gareth’s mom. As awkward as Robin could be sometimes, when she’s among the right crowd she could be very extroverted.
You don’t take a second look towards Gareth, but instead you find the first empty changing room and you shimmy inside. It’s quite small. There’s enough room for a hanger for the dress, and a bench for your clothes.
When you twist the handle to lock the door, the metal hook lays limp in your hand. It’s supposed to stiffen when locked, but someone has broken the handle.
“Hey, Robs?!” You call for back-up. “Robin?!”
Gareth clears his throat. “Robin went to get another shirt with my mom.”
“Oh,” you chew the side of your mouth. “The lock is broken in here. Er- could you hold it shut?”
There’s a bit of noise from the other side of the door. It sounds like shuffling. The door handle clinks, but it doesn’t twist.
“Okay, just tell me when you want out,” you can see Gareth’s shadow under the door.
Suddenly feeling a bit insecure, you have to tell yourself that Gareth can’t see through the closed door. That awkward shimmy out of your jeans would never catch his eye. Your ugly bra isn’t for him anyway. And, neither is the dress.
The way your curves are hugged like a babe wrapped in a blanket. There’s no hiding your growing figure in here. It’s soft as a blanket fresh from the wash. The color sits against your skin as to compliment you, and not to wash you out.
“Don’t laugh,” you love the dress, but you still imagine you do look a bit ridiculous in something as nice as this.
Gareth let’s go of the door handle, then takes a few steps back, “I won’t.”
After taking in a breath of bravery, you twist the door handle and you step out with your eyes on your socks. Time feels frozen. The air is thick. Your heart pumps blood through your body, yet all of your extremities have gone numb. You’re tortured in wait for Gareth to say anything, but he hardly has a response. Lifting your chin, you’re met with Gareth staring at you funny. You can’t read his expression, and so you race to the mirror behind him.
“Is it bad?” You run your hands across your hips. “Ugh, I told Robin this was a bad idea!”
Gareth comes into view behind you with that unreadable expression. Glossy eyes trail over your figure, then finally meet yours only in the middle. Maybe that’s why he could tell you;
“You’re beautiful.”
You turn ever so slightly, “really?”
Now, your heart works overtime. There’s a song and a dance inside your belly that you haven’t practiced yet. You don’t even know the words.
The dance ends abruptly with tears in your eyes as you wait for the encore that would never come. There isn’t enough time because Robin comes back with Gareth’s mother. She’s got another blouse to try on, and Robin’s swept you away in the process.
“You have got to buy this dress!” Robin insists.
You stare over your shoulder at what could have been, but Gareth must not have felt the earth rattle as you did. This places your heart back into your pocket in a safe tucked in space.
Wrestling yourself out of your daze, you blink a number of times at Robin until you catch a few words that spill from your lips like water.
“I- I can’t,” you fumble.
Robin misses the arrow in front of her nose, and insists once again, “oh, come on! You know your mom is going to throw you a party like she does every year. You deserve something special to wear!”
“I need groceries,” your decision is final. “Can you hold the door for me please? The lock is broken.”
Robin holds the lock on the changing room door this time, and you quickly change back into your day clothes. Without many words, you say goodbye to Gareth and his mother. You don’t see his gaze lingering as you leave.
A few doors down is an ice cream shop, and Robin offers to pay for you to get a treat. You’ve been a bit down since the dress shop, and perhaps she regrets insisting you try on the dress of your dreams when she knows you’re short for cash. If she could, she would buy the dress for you. It would be the best birthday gift.
Even your favorite ice cream couldn’t cheer you up. You swirl the chocolate around with your spoon until the ice cream becomes smooth like a milkshake. That’s the best way to eat ice cream. You take a scoop into your mouth, while Robin holds the door open for you to leave.
“It’s just a dress,” you mutter around the soft serve. “I’m sure I’ll find another someday.”
“Yeah,” Robin walks beside you. “In a few years, you’ll be the greatest journalist. You’ll be worth millions. You’re still buying me a mansion, right?”
You snort. “Let’s start by me getting discovered first, right?”
Robin laps around her vanilla cone as the ice cream drips onto her hand. You come in clutch with an extra napkin for her, just as your name is called from down the street.
Gareth catches up to you completely out of breath. In a moment, he holds out a dress box with a giant pink bow wrapped on top.
“Happy birthday,” he huffs.
Robin grabs hold of your ice cream before you drop the container to the floor. Your jaw would fall with it.
“Oh, my god,” Robin gawks.
You stumble over a few words, before you get too, “you did not.”
“I saved up some money from mowing my neighbors’ lawn,” he explains to you. “You really liked that dress.”
“Gareth-,”
“You’re welcome,” he stops you, before you dare tell him to take the dress back. Even if you told him too, he wouldn’t do it. You know that.
Tears well in your eyes. Maybe you’ve had a bad morning, or maybe the prospect of not getting a birthday at all has got you turning soft. You toss your arms over his shoulders.
“Hey!” his arms melt at your waist. “It’s okay.”
“Thank you,” your voice wobbles into his shoulder.
-> <-
[June 1983 . . . again]
tags -> @leelei1980 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @jesuisbuginette @starrywhitenight @meetmeatyourworst @munsonburn3r @5tud10-54r4h @pvdulmol
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nishimuraazr1zzkiii · 5 months ago
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You big baby ༘⋆p.js
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🍝
༘⋆Genre: fluff
.ᐟWarnings: nothing too extreme.
❅WC: 0.6k
ᝰNotes: got inspired since someone I know cries everytime they get a fever and their suitor took care of them(made me feel single istg)
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๋Thinking about how jay would take care of you when you have a fever especially if you cry when you have a fever.
On the first day of you fever, waking up to an afternoon sun shining directly in your already watery eyes and a cold towel on your forehead. Feeling around the bed, you don't feel jay next to you, already guessing that he must have left for work already.
Not having enough energy and you feel sluggish than usual, you stayed in bed for a few hours trying to fall back asleep since your fever was getting worse by the hour. Eventually your fever got worse to the point that tears started to well up in your eyes threatening to fall.
Just as you tried to sit up, you hear the front door open and quickly close, you figured it'd be jay since you weren't expecting any visitors but it was to early for him to be home.
The door to your creaks open, jay peaked from the door checking if you're awake or not. Seeing that you were sat in bed with tears in your eyes.
"Y/n! My love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Jay rushed next to you and put down the plastic bag he was holding and cupped your cheeks while tears fell from your eyes as you sob quietly in jays arms. "I-i...don't k-know *hic* but m-my fever is ge-getting worse... " your voice trailed off by the end of your sentence, hearing this, jay immediately grabbed the plastic bag and took out a packet of pills, popping one out and grabbing the glass of water on your bedside table.
He gave you the pill and the glass of water, but you pushed it back to jay knowing you wouldn't be able to swallow the pill smoothly. "Ok y/n, I'll cook some soup for you and once I finish the soup, you can use it as a substitute for the water so you won't taste the pill" he got up from the bed and kissed your forehead, "get some rest while you wait, I'll leave the water and pills here if your thirsty" jay tucked you in bed and put a back the wet towel that was on your forehead and went out of the room.
.
.
.
You wake up a few hours later, you still felt like you were burning in a fire since your fever hasn't still cooled down, you hear the door open, showing jay holding a tray with a bowl of soup, a glass of water and the pills you still needed to take to make your fever go down.
"Is your fever still high Princess?" He put down the tray on the bedside table and checked your temperature and took the towel from your forehead away, "you should eat up and take the pill so the fever won't be so high tomorrow, do you need anything love?" You shook your head, indicating that you didn't need anything.
"alright then love, if you need me, I'll be down stairs cleaning all the dishes" but before jay had gotten a chance to stand up, you grabbed his hand, pulling him towards you on the bed "what is it love? Is there something wrong? " jay checked your temperature again "no... Can you.. Stay here with me for a while?" Your voice so quiet and soft that jay almost couldn't here you, he didn't say anything but he laid down next to you cuddling you to sleep, his face on your neck, your legs tangled together, his arm wrapped around your waist while the other one is under your head, jay softly caressing your hair, humming a soft tune lulling you both to sleep.
That's how the rest of your sick week has been. Waking up to jay cooking you breakfast and dinner, drinking your medicine, sleeping while waiting for jay to come back from practice, and cuddling to sleep.
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Permanent taglist: @thelost-in-time
Wanna be reminded every time I post a oneshot, texts, and fics? Send an ask through my inbox to be added in my permanent taglist or if you want to become an anon or moots!
Want to read some the anime, games that I worked on? Why don't you take a look at my blog @wanderers-archive!
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prophecyofwinter · 5 months ago
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Se Riña Qilōni Iprattan Se Jēdar | III
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Summary | Saera Targaryen daughter of Jaehaerys I ran away from Westeros to escape her fate. 45 years later her daughter Y/N Targaryen, with invitation from King Viserys wishes to go back.
Tags | Slowburn, TargCest, Smut, Standard ASOIAF content, Aemond and Reader are First Cousins Once Removed, tags to be added
Prologue | Chapter II | Chapter IV | Masterlist
Chapter III | High Lord , Low Lady
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You were so unfathomably nervous, your palms were sweating and your head was full, all the advice you’d received back home flew out the window.
Normally you were so confident and headstrong, where did it all go??
How are you supposed to present yourself? Gods, what do you do with your hands? Do you hold them folded? Behind? Held to your chest?
Walking through the dock only made your heart race faster as you were nearing closer by the second. You straighten yourself up and mentally ask for R’hllor’s blessing as you are stopped in front of a carriage by guards.
You gaze at the carriage itself, made of dark wood with curved arches overhead and crisscrossed cutouts for windows.
“Prince Aemond of House Targaryen!”
You become stiff as wood as the doors of the carriage are opened by a guard. Ducking under the door frame is a man with long straight white hair wearing all black leather. When he stands straight you notice his sharp features, most distinguishably the eyepatch on his left eye. You try not to stare too much to not offend.
By the time you process him fully he is already in front of you, blocking the sun from your eyes.
“I-It is a great pleasure to finally meet you Prince Aemond.” You sputter out, your nerves taking over your vocal cords. He was honestly very handsome, it was unfortunate you hadn’t heard anyone speak much of his looks besides the lost eye.
Without replying he simply grabs one of your shaky hands and brings it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back. He comes back up to make eye contact, his purple eyes gazing into your own. You might pass away on the spot, the wrath of the sun burns on you tenfold in the moment.
“Your beauty truly precedes you Y/N. I wanted to personally welcome you to Kings Landing. As your soon-to-be betrothed I felt it was my duty to be the first person you met.” He speaks to you in a low tone, he is rather close to you so he does not need to talk loud. His way with words didn’t help at all, you could feel a slight wetness forming between your thighs.
He holds out his leather covered arm for you to grab onto. As you do, you could feel his toned muscles through the leather. You pray you haven’t made an absolute fool of yourself acting like a blushing virgin, which you were but.
“Thank you Prince Aemond, you’re too kind…”
“No need to thank me, it is simply what I must do.” He says with the same tone as before giving your arm a gentle caress. You can’t help but wonder if there’s multiple meanings to that.
He leads you to the carriage passing through the line of knights, they all look stiff and they stare forward. You thought they would look scarier, they just look like normal men. The soldiers and guards in Volantis look like beasts, scars so bad you couldn’t even tell there’s a face behind their helm, going through withdrawal if they have not killed an infant in a week. They reek of blood, booze and cum.
Westeros must be a very peaceful place if their army’s look like this.
When you approach the carriage, one baby faced guard opens the door for you both. Aemond loosens his hold on you, just holding you by your hand to guide you up the carriage steps.
“Ahem.”
Oh right.
Your brother steps forward, armor making a soft clang with every step. He must’ve polished his red armor today, the shine on it must be bright enough to blind a man. He stands tall and proud, a few paces away from you and Aemond.
“Oh, apologies. This is my half-brother Vaegon. My mother- Our mother sent him with me to make sure I settle in okay.” You looked to Aemond, gesturing to your brother slightly annoyed. You were trying to balance yourself properly on the steps, one foot on the first step and the other on the second step.
“Ah, that’s quite alright. Sending a young woman such as yourself across the sea shouldn’t be done alone.” Aemond states and rubs your hand with his thumb, still holding it. He gestures to you to enter the carriage, then turns to your brother with a tight lipped smile.
“Vaegon was it? You have my thanks for accompanying my betrothed to Kings Landing. You may walk with the rest of the guards to the Red Keep.” Aemond said as he stepped into the carriage himself, smile faltering only slightly.
Vaegon opened his mouth to protest but was met with the carriage doors shutting in his face.
Now it was just you and Aemond, alone…
You pinched at your dress while attempting to keep eye contact with him.
You feel a jolt of movement and you know the carriage has begun to make its journey up to the Red Keep.
“Apologies, my Prince for my state of dress. I haven’t brought any handmaidens with me. If I had known how much of a struggle clothes of this country were to get into I would’ve brought someone to help.” You say flipping your eyes between his eyes and the top of his head.
Aemond sits back into the plush seating crossing his arms and legs. His gaze burns into your skin, you can see his eye start at your collar bone and trail down to your open cleavage.
You hadn’t expected to be reduced to a mess just in his presence. Your plans of confidence dwindled and anxiety replaced the space it left.
“Apologizing this much is unbecoming if you wish to become a lady. No one here will treat you well if they see how nervous you are. As for your dress, it’s not that different from what some ladies wear during the hotter months, just less… openness. You’ll have proper clothes tailored to you soon enough.” His tone has become blunt, compared to what he was like moments before with his sweet gestures.
“Please forgive- I mean! I just have never been alone with a man like this before. Especially a man like yourself, my Prince. I’ve spent most of my life in the company of other women… I do not wish to embarrass myself further.” You attempt to compose yourself in a more becoming manner. Straightening your back and folding your shaky hands in front of you instead of picking at your skirt; eye contact is something you’ll have to work on.
Aemond lets out a hum of…? You can’t quite tell. Aemond makes no move to continue the conversation, instead opting to stare at you, as though he can read your life story just by a glance.
Will it always be this unsettling? Maybe your hopes were set too high? You two are strangers, surely he is just as nervous as you are.
Neither of you exchanged any more words for the rest of the carriage ride. The sound of the horses' hooves clopping on the stone floor and the sounds of common folk around the city being the only sounds you hear for the rest of the ride.
You let out a soft breath when the carriage rocked to a halt. You look out the window and the first thing you notice is a red haired woman dressed in a dress of green and gold, you knew with absolute certainty that this must be Queen Alicent.
Suddenly, Aemond grabs your arm, tugging you to him to grab your attention. His purple eye stone cold staring into your pair, you felt small and helpless like a beggar girl begging for bread.
“Pull yourself together and present yourself properly. This is my mother, the Queen. Do not make anyone regret allowing you here.”
————
🏷️: @toodlesxcuddles @blackgirlmagicforever @yourwonkywriter
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emositecc · 5 months ago
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God I fucking hate Victoria the crybaby so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every page she's in, every scene, every fanart, every comic, she's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass personality on her stupid green face. Absolutely no part of her ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. Her stupid fucking dress? Who the hell wears a dress like that. Her dumb fucking lizard tail? Her shitty, annoying bastard attitude ? The three thousand percent dumbass shitass fucking haircut that no woman has EVER FUCKING SHITTY HAIR DESING HAD IN THE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate her. I hate her so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a comic or a fanart of her, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Boo hoo, I'm Bitchtoria the fuckshit whiny ass woman, woe is me. PITY ME 😢😢😢😢". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like shrek but if shrek was written by vivziepop. Your dumb fucking hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking dress and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top shitty ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene she's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a walmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know she's just a shitty fucking sad woman in a stupid fucking fan comic, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate her. I hate hier on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the bitch wife is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate her so much. I hate her so, so fucking much. I want to light her ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat her to death with her own stupid fucking punchable face. I want to punch her to death. I want to bash her brains out. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that her existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional woman
you've gone on sending me these kinds of messages in my ask box everytime i've updated my comic, even mentioning r*pe in your latest ones. At first I thought this is a bit, but now i honestly dont know. I think you need help and for your own good and mine, I'm going to be blocking you.
This probably wont stop you from reading my comic in other platforms but if you still do, please refrain from messaging me or whatnot because I will just block you again.
okay, thank you.
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^ and that's not even ALL of it.
there's like 50+ more
get help.
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luveline · 2 years ago
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radio cure | steve harrington
an unhappy you meets steve harrington and his merry band of dorks. he shows you that some things are worth sticking around for.
5k words, fem!reader she/her used, tw mentioned/implied suicidal ideation please don’t read if that’s going to have a negative impact on you (no graphic imagery. but reader is passively suicidal and dealing with the other factors of that), robin steve + eddie chaotic trio, friends to lovers, multipart, swearing, friendly teasing, sarcasm, artist!steve, 90s au
.•° ✿ °•.
You're twenty two when you decide to kill yourself.
It's a warm day. The sun shines like a flower bud unfurling, a faint hint of golden yellow masked by cloud cover. You're savouring the brief moment of blessed cool as you walk around Lover's Lake, your ipod in one hand, headphones around your neck.
The flowing pants you're wearing help mitigate the heat around your legs, an itching, slick thing. Warmth feels like oil on your skin. You tip your head back and smell the grass, the lake water, the dry mud under your feet. You're thinking it's as nice a day as you're going to get this week, and you're forlorn, because it doesn't make one drop of difference.
You look up at the blue sky, squinting against the light, and you think it to yourself resolutely. This is going to be my last year. When your savings run out you're giving up.
It doesn't feel conclusive. It doesn't feel scary. It's just a decision.
You walk over dry grass until you reach the short pier on the leftmost side of the lake and sit down. You pull your headphones over your ears and bite your lip when the music isn't loud enough. The dock is rough. You're uncomfortable immediately. You want to go home, but you pull out your little craft sketchbook made of yellow paper and a pencil you've sharpened with a pen knife, staring out across the lake for something to strike you. A duck. A goose. Anything at all.
The thing is, you don't want to draw. You aren't some master, though you try, and you aren't a natural talent… You try sometimes. Nothing seems right. Most people have a style, charm, but you could draw a picture perfect copy of the day in front of you and still feel the lack; you have no idea what it is that makes other people's art beautiful, and that's the problem.
It doesn't matter. You put the sketchbook away. You have nobody to impress but yourself, and besides — you're not the first person in the world to feel uninspired. Thousands of people must feel it everyday, and they aren't throwing any pity parties. You peel off your cardigan, ball it up, and lay down with the fabric behind your head. You can hear the soft pant of a dog across the way, the happy chattering of a Frisbee game. Under the dock, little bodies thwack the planks, tiny green frogs that occasionally hop in the grass nearby.
You press your arm against your stomach and you fall asleep not long after that, your ipod playing music a few feet away.
Steve Harrington doesn't know why he stops to look at you. You're just a girl enjoying the summer sun, and he doesn't mean to be a creep. But you've left your stuff laying in small hills around you and your body's lax. You're asleep.
He kneels down next to you. Enough room to swing away if you try to stab him for perving. He isn't perving, he reasons. He wants to check if you're okay.
He tilts his ear toward you and holds his breath.
You're snoring.
Good, he thinks, crawling back to the far side of the dock, at least two feet between you. You're sleeping.
He sits down, knees up, hands between his thighs, and looks out across the lake. The sun shines high as the clouds shift to reveal it in full force, a burning yolk. It kisses every bit of green foliage it can find, dappled sunlight everywhere he looks. Steve is out today to draw whatever beauty he can find, and the light across the water riding the rippled waves of ducklings and brave human swimmers seems nice enough. He peers out of the corner of his eye at you, deems you still sleeping, and takes the pocket sized sketchbook out of his denim jeans.
His pencil is a stub folded between the pages. He lays down graphite in big sweeping lines, more focused on the impressions of shape than the specifics. It's hard to see a coloured world in black and white values. Steve isn't great — he's been drawing for two years now, and that feels like both a lifetime and a flicker. Every day he learns something new about making art, and every day he looks back and feels embarrassed at what he made before. The start of his sketchbooks make him cringe. This one is a mixture of pride and tepid reluctance.
Being bad at something is a stepping stone at getting better. Not every drawing he makes is good, but hopefully it's teaching his brain to be better. He doesn't know what he believes about art but he likes to draw, and he has gotten better.
The point isn't in being good, he'd told Robin. I just need something to do. Before I go crazy doing nothing. 
He draws the lake. He loves the way it comes into being. Ten minutes can turn grey splotches into trees, and bluegrass, and the heat rising off of the water. He draws a duck when it swims really close, though he has to abandon it when it swims away, leaving a half formed lovecraftian creature to haunt the page. He draws the dock, and his shoes, and your shoes, and your hand curled weakly next to your ipod. He draws your wrist, though he stops quickly.
He looks at your sleeping face.
Steve thinks you don't look like anyone he's ever seen before. He notes your lashes, your brows, and your nose. The sun emphasises the fine hairs across your cheek, and the texture beneath them.
He wants to draw your face, but he thinks drawing your hand and your shoes might have been too much without permission. He lets you sleep for a while, and then when he realises the heat is making him dizzy, he can't leave you there to bake.
He rips a sheet of paper out of his sketchbook and shoves the small book back into his pocket. The dock groans as he stands, and he casts a shadow over your face and upper torso.
"Hey," he says.
You flinch awake.
"Don't panic," he says, which is something a pervert might say, so he amends, "don't freak out, I'm just worried you're gonna cook your brains. I didn't want you to get sick."
You sit up. You look kinda cooked already, blinking and disoriented.
"You okay?"
You don't look up. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you for waking me up."
"Yeah, sure. Here."
He holds out the drawing of your hand. He doesn't think it's good, doesn't want you to see it, but he already did it. Giving it to you will ease his guilty conscience.
It's unlike Steve to bail, but he bails. Your fingers are barely brushing the paper when he's wiping his palms on his thighs and stepping away.
"Bye," he says, uncertain. "Try not to fall asleep again!"
It's not so weird. Sure, he'd made your fingers skinnier than they really are, and he made your shoelaces look like spaghetti, but they're good drawings.
You're trying to read a book in the corner of Benny's when he finds you a second time. He hovers, and you're not cool, you aren't, you're working with what you've got. Not many people skills.
“Hi,” he says.
"They were good drawings," you say, in lieu of your own hello, thumbing at the pages of your book all full of jumpy nerves.
"Thank you, I'm… new to it. My best friend, she's– she's actually nicer than she should be about them, I can't lie. I was going to say she thinks I should be banned from picking up a pencil, because I wanted to make you laugh, but. She's nice when it matters."
You can't keep looking down, it wouldn't be polite. You dog ear your paperback and let it lie against the tabletop, greasy to touch but you doubt it'll make a difference. The book is old and had cost you 50 cents at Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler's yard sale.
He's tall. Hair falls around his face and curls gently against his cheeks, a sandy brown. He's wearing a hat. He hadn't been wearing one the day he'd given you his drawings, but you can understand why he needs it. The sun is an inescapable force: sun stroke has half the town down for the count. The whole reason that you're in Benny's is because it's air-conditioned and shady.
"Do you want to come and eat with me and my friends?"
You say no automatically. "No, that's okay. I don't wanna," —you don't know what to say, so your voice hikes up awkwardly— "impose."
"You don't have to, but if you want to, you're not imposing." He twists at the waist and nods to a booth across the room, where a boy and girl sit. When they see you seeing them they look away. "Sorry, they're dorks. There's usually more of us, but Jon's in work and Nancy's in Emerson, so…" He seizes up.
You wonder why people are so afraid of being awkward. It terrifies you, to think one day you'll fuck up and be awkward and the other person will remember it and laugh, but looking at him now, you can't see why it matters. It actually makes you feel better, knowing he's worried too.
"I only brought enough for the milkshake," you say.
"I'll get you something."
"That's– no, that's okay."
He hesitates. "You'd be doing me a favour. I love them, really, but I can't stand it when they're together, they bully me."
It would probably be worse to reject his offer and sit here lonely while they laugh and talk. You'll worry they're talking about you.
"Okay," you mumble, picking up your book and your milkshake.
He grins at you and you follow him through the diner. It's not busy today, but there's still feet to fall over and backpack straps to tread on, so you watch the floor.
"My name is Steve, by the way."
You tell him your own name, which brings another quick smile to his face. He slows as he approaches the booth of his friends and beckons for you to slide into the empty side before following you in.
"Guys, this is– Eddie, what the fuck is that? We said no gross shit at the table."
"This, my friend," Eddie says, words rolling around his mouth grandly, "is a monster."
It's a little man made of coffee stirrers, sporks, and chewing gum seams. It's kind of gross, but it's cute. Grossly cute and cutely gross.
"We're about to eat."
"You're stepping on his artistic licence," says the girl, her voice distinctly pretty and a tiny bit hoarse.
"Disgusting," Steve says.
You shift on the leather chair underneath you and anxiety pulses in the bottom of your stomach. They're ignoring you, but not really. Both have lifted their eyes to look at you, and, in sync, they smile. The girl's smile is startling, lip gloss lips and white teeth. Eddie's is softer, less happy and more reassuring.
"I'm Eddie," Eddie says, though you'd figured it out. "That's Robin. Do you think my monster is gross in the gross way or gross in the sick way?"
"He's cute," you admit to thinking. "But the gum…"
"I didn't have any glue."
"Steve told us about his drawings. If he's holding you hostage right now, blink three times, okay?" Robin jokes.
Eddie and Robin lean their shoulders together and start a bit where they count your blinks. There's murmurings about shelters and how they can definitely throat punch Steve hard enough to make him mute. You're stunned at being the object of a joke and don't know how to react, feeling like you've been whacked and now there's cartoon birds flying around your head and they can all see them.
Steve grabs the menus out of the rack and slaps one down in front of everybody. "Alright, team. You know the drill. Last person to choose what they want has to buy drinks." He spares you a glance. "Except you. She's on me because hostages don't pay for themselves."
"I would make such a pretty hostage," Eddie says.
He is pretty, in fairness. Dark curls thick with baby hairs frizzed up in the summer heat frame a pale face. He has big brown eyes.
“And talented,” Robin adds, poking the gum man until he falls flat on his face. The head pops off and Eddie shrieks, not loudly but with a passionate upset about him that makes you laugh.
Steve leans over. “Please choose quickly so I don’t have to pay for Robin's lemonade addiction. No pressure.”
“I’ll just have what you have.”
“With a coke?”
“Sure.”
“Robin?” he asks.
“I want a cheeseburger with a lemonade and then, if you will, another lemonade.”
She dumps her menu in Eddie’s lap, who looks up from his decapitated figure with a look of defeat.
“Wh- hey, she cheated. She hurt my dude.”
“Rules are rules.”
Eddie sulks and accepts everybody’s money. He slinks up to the window like an annoyed cat. After he’s placed the order, he looks back to the table and flips the bird covertly.
“So, how old are you?” Robin asks.
“Twenty two.”
“How’s that?” she asks sympathetically.
“Robin.” Steve chides. “She’s twenty so she thinks she’s a baby.”
“I am a baby. This is my first year not being a teen, which means it’s my first year as an adult. I’m one.”
“We have this argument a lot,” Steve says, though not with any bravado. Simple explanation, his voice soft and warm. “When being an adult actually begins. It’s not the adult part that even matters, it’s the not having rules that fucks people up. Look at Eddie. He’s been out of school for a year and he’s been arrested three times.”
You frown, not because his getting arrested would bother you (depending on the charge), but because you’re surprised, and surprise is quick to appear as anger on your face. His shirt and rockstar rings, his nice smile, his gum man — you’d assumed he was a huge nerd. His arrests are a surprise.
“What for?” you ask, before you can remind yourself that invasive questions are rude.
“Once for indecent exposure– completely accidental. Once for trespassing, and the last time was because he chained himself to a tree outside of Tawny’s bar. They weren’t cutting the tree down,” Steve says. “He, and I quote, wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”
“Don’t give away my RAP sheet when I’m not here,” Eddie says, placing a tray of drinks on the table carefully. Three cokes and two lemonades.
“It’s not a RAP sheet if you don’t actually get in trouble. They let him off ‘cause they know his uncle. And also ‘cause it’s Hawkins.” Robin slides her slice of lemon between her teeth, shepherding her two lemonades as far away from everybody as she can, looking extremely hedgy. “I’s a bitch sheet.”
Eddie feigns for her second lemon slice and snickers when Robin defends it, elbowing him hard in the ribs.
“I paid for it!” he says through laughs.
Your hands start to shake. You hide them under the lip of the table but it’s no use. Soon your legs are shaking, your arms, all of you. They’re minute tremors, both invisible and impossible to ignore. You glue a smile to your face and try to calm down. You’re overwhelmed and you don’t know why — this isn’t a new feeling. You are not the first person to feel this feeling.
Then why does it feel like it?
Sometimes, everything gets so scary so quickly, and you sit there wondering why it isn’t scary for everybody else, and you wonder why they can’t see it on your face how scared you are, and they must see it? They must know you’re fucked.
You’re shot with thoughts. These people, you could be friends. All you have to do is make a good impression. But how should you go about that? How do you talk? What do you say?
“I draw too,” you say, hands clamped between your knees.
Steve’s eyebrows do this little dance. It’s adorable, and it makes you want to be his friend most of all.
“You do?”
“I do. I’m not good, I mean. I used to be better. I’m out of practice.”
“I draw,” Eddie says.
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Jonathan, too. God, you should see his shit. And he’s an even better photographer. But I draw shitty zine comics. And Robin does the typesetting for me.”
“Oh, wow,” you say genuinely.
“Nancy writes,” Robin says. “So we’re, like, a jerk circle of artists. She’s good, too.”
“She’s good,” Eddie imitates fondly. “I bet she is. Robin’s gonna be a great writer as well, once she gets all these private Nancy lessons.”
Steve puts a hand up and Eddie promptly shuts up. He takes a big, sheepish slurp of coke and you feel like you’ve said something wrong though you barely said anything at all, sipping at your own coke.
“What are you reading?” Robin asks.
You slide the book toward her so she can see for herself. “The Sea, The Sea,” you tell her. “It’s about, uh,” —you’ve only managed to read the first thirty pages, and that’s after reading the first ten five times straight— “this guy named Charles, he’s unique. He’s uh, annoying.”
“You know, Nancy used to have a book that looked just like that,” Steve says.
You laugh weakly. “It must be popular. I got it at a yard sale.”
“Can I open it?” Robin asks.
“Of course. It’s already pretty beat up, I don’t think there’s anything you could do—“
Robin opens the book with one hand, thumb and pinky fingertip pressed to either side, and tries to take a sip of her drink without looking, tipping her glass of lemonade straight into the pages of The Sea, The Sea. What doesn’t get soaked up by your book rushes down the length of the table and into her lap.
Steve reaches across the table to grab up the glass, but the damage is already done. Your lips part. Eddie gawps, throwing a hand over his slack-jawed face.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she says, looking at you with wide eyes. “I have the worst case of butterfingers ever, I’m sorry.”
It’s as if she can’t believe she did it. You fluster when you realise they’re all waiting for your reaction.
“It’s okay!” you say, as loud as you’ve ever spoken in public.
“You can be mad,” Steve assures you.
“No, it was an accident. I’m not mad, it cost fifty cents, and it was totally garbage anyway. I’m really not mad.”
Eddie stuffs napkins under the table and Robin shivers uncontrollably, dishing ice cubes from her lap and the seat. Steve, laughing now, says, “God dammit, Robs,” sounding like she might be the most golden person on the planet.
Steve works his hat over your hair the best that he can. “There. Now you won’t die from heat stroke.”
You bring both hands to the hat to encourage it down onto your head. “Steve,” you say, sounding unsure on how to continue.
“It’s on loan.”
You nod and look out over the lake, where Eddie stands at the edge of the dock. "It's getting way too fucking cold for this," he complains, in swim shorts and a shirt, gazing in distrust at the lake’s shimmering surface.
Lake is kind. It is technically a lake, but also technically a really, very pathetic lake that feeds from a pathetic tributary. If you stationed Steve on one side and you the other, he would strain to hear you talking. Likely infected with brain eating amoeba or tadpoles or leeches. Slimy things. It’s less disgusting than Lover’s Lake, a condom cesspit, so that’s a plus.
You aren’t looking any more eager about jumping in than you had been, thighs naked and kissed by the hem of an oversized, black t-shirt. It’s wrinkled. Steve kind of loves it.
"Just jump in, you big babies," Robin says.
She'd already jumped in, screamed at the cold, and now languishes in the chest height water in front of the small fishing dock with a smug smile on her face. "Not you," she says to you. Steve rolls his eyes.
You shake your head, hair slipping out of the hat. You sigh as you pull it off and readjust the sizing band.
"I guess I am being a baby,” you say to him quietly. “The sun’s been out all day, how cold can it be?” You’re not feeling confident. It seeps into your voice, to which Steve lends a placating smile.
"Really fucking cold."
"Eddie, shut up. Y/N, it's fine. You'll like it."
“I really don’t think she’ll like it.”
Steve doesn’t either, but he wants you to feel included, and less tense. Distract you from whatever it is that’s giving you such a big case of the frownies, and prove he and his friends aren’t just book-ruining hooligans.
Eddie finally jumps in over Robin’s head, disappearing into the not quite blue water with a cut-off curse. He appears again a few seconds later, black hair slicked to his face, neck and shoulders, wiping the water from his eyes as he splutters and giggles boyishly.
“Shit, Stevie,” he says. “Not that cold after all.”
“You don’t have to jump in, you can just ease off the dock, if that’s better,” Steve says.
“Frogspawn,” you murmur.
Steve does a bunch of flexing, throws in a jumping jack for good measure. “Alright,” he says, holding out his hand. “Let’s go.”
You shake your head gently.
Steve doesn’t wanna embarrass you further, or insist when you really don’t want to, so he nods and smiles and takes a running jump into the lake. Robin and Eddie both swear and dart away as his body collides with the surface of the water, and he sinks like a well-practised stone to near enough the lake bed, feet gracing slippery pond weed and things he’d rather not think about. The air shatters out of his lungs and the water, despite the summer sun, is cold. It feels amazing — he hadn’t realised how warm he was until the temperature abruptly shifted.
He rushes back up to the surface and shakes his hair out like a dog, water running down his face and shoulders in fast thick rivulets. He peels his eyes open and turns to find you still hesitating on the dock. Robin splashes at Steve in retaliation for his hair splatters and Eddie laughs evilly as he joins in.
“Come on!” he begs you. “I told you, they bully me! I need back up!”
You toss his hat on the dock. The jump you take into the lake is timid but enough to miss the frogspawn and not break your legs, a cold splash of water and you’re there. Luckily, your presence has Robin and Eddie both stopping in their cruel tracks, and you don’t have to save Steve after all.
Your happy laughter is stunning.
"It's so cold!" you squeal, water in your eyelashes.
Eddie takes one of your hands and together the four of your tread into deeper water.
"Now that all who can be present are present," he says, falling into his dungeon master drawl, "it's time we commence the The Tournament. Swimmers, take your stations."
Everyone falls into line. You don't know what you're falling into line for, raising your timid voice to ask, "What's the game?"
"The game is me and you dunk the ever-loving out of dumb and dumber," he says.
"Hey, what?" Robin asks. "How come you get her? She's a total wild card, she might win the game all by herself."
"Or she might really suck. We don't know, and so in the interest of fairness, I propose she swims with me." Eddie's wet sleeve sticks to your skin as he nudges you. "But you don't suck, do you?"
"Um…"
"Attagirl. On your marks, get set, go!"
You spend an hour like that. Steve and Co, they're stupid, but they aren't stupid stupid. The Tournament is a series of chasing and dunking (stupid but fun) wherein you get to throw yourself on the shoulders of the person you're chasing and submerge them (stupid again). You can't hold them down, though, they aren't trying to drown one another. Much.
The sun regretfully starts to set. If it's anything like the last few days, that means it's likely near 10PM, and they're all working tomorrow.
"Do you have work tomorrow?" Steve asks in concern, after he's heaved himself up onto one of the huge stones on the opposite side of the lake.
Cattails obscure you from view on your own stone. Across the lake, your possessions lay thankfully unscathed on the dock. Robin sits as close as she can to Steve on his rock, kicking water at Eddie every time he tries to approach.
"You fucking rat," he fumes, mouth full of lake water.
"I'm not really working right now,” you say.
"Do you need a job?" Eddie asks. "They're hiring— Harrington, restrain your creature! They're hiring at the Palace Arcade, aren't they?"
Steve nods voraciously. "Yeah! Hey, we can get you an interview no problem, they probably won't even ask you that many questions. I mean, Keith worked there."
"Don't be mean about Keith," Robin says, though she doesn't really like him. He thinks it's akin to defending your deadbeat older brother.
"I don't know, I think even a couple of questions might be too many," you worry.
"How come?"
You pull the fluff off of a cat tail, and it explodes in your hands. Steve yanks one down to do the same, watching the fibres float across the lake's disturbed surface with a cool breeze. Robin shivers beside him, sensitive to the cold in her wet clothes, the adrenaline of swimming and almost but not really dying wearing off.
"I'm bad at stuff like that."
"I don't think anyone's good at interviews at our age," Eddie says, nose wrinkled as cat tail floats toward him. "We're, like, babies."
"I always feel like I'm really old," you confess. You look down at your naked knees. "Like I wasted all the good years already."
"What, school?"
"And the four years since," you say.
Steve gets it, in a way. His high school years sucked, and he'd maybe thought he'd get out of Hawkins on a track or swim scholarship, basketball — anything. But he's here still, and at first that hadn't been what he wanted. Sure, he'd expected it, but in different ways.
Steve pushes back the cattails to see you clearly. "I didn't even get any real good years until just now," he says, as kindly as he can.
"I failed senior year twice," Eddie speaks up, "I kinda thought I was wasting my life too, but if I didn't, I wouldn't even know Robin, and she's, like, my best friend."
He throws his hands over his face before Steve can kick a huge wave of lake water into his eyes. "Get your own," Steve fumes. He's not really mad.
"Yeah, these are the good years," Robin says, "probably. I never had guys fighting over me in high school." She laughs and tucks her wet hair behind her ears, her freckled cheeks pale in the oranging light of the sunset.
You hold your hands out for Eddie and he finally climbs onto one of the rocks. From this side of the lake, you can watch the sun set behind the silhouettes of Hawkins town a half mile away. It dips slowly down, meandering almost, a pearl sinking through layers of raspberry pink and orange and, as Steve holds his breath, that sudden flash of electric green.
"I'm blind," Eddie mumbles, falling back into the rocks and grass.
"Shit, that was cool." Robin stands up and stretches. "I'm so cold I'm gonna die right here. Steve, do you still have a blanket in your car?"
Steve looks over at you again. You look shell-shocked, not quite awed. He doesn't know what emotion you're feeling, only that you're feeling it, eyes wide and set across the lake at the darkened sky, lights from the buildings like stars shimmering in your pupils.
He stands up and offers his hand to you. When you take it, he pulls you up without hesitation, not a flicker of doubt or an ounce of struggle.
"I'll get you that interview," he says, questioning, soft. If you want it. 
Your fingers linger in his palm.
"Yeah, okay. Thank you."
"Come on!" Robin says, taking your other hand and tugging without apology, barefoot over the asphalt path surrounding the lake. "Before the gnats come out."
"We might see fireflies if we stick around," Eddie says.
They bicker. Steve lets go of your hand and you and Robin walk just ahead, your head bobbing between his two arguing friends like you're watching a quickfire tennis match.
You turn to the side and hide a smile. Steve sees it, and he figures it's a start.
"Munson," he hollers, "how about you stay and watch the fireflies and you tell us all about it? Me and the girls aren't gonna freeze out here so you can get back in touch with nature."
It's a bad joke, but it works. "Fuck you, Harrington. The ladies wanna see the lightning bugs, don't you?"
"I can't remember the last time I saw them," you say.
"Then we have to stay," Eddie says smugly.
You all crowd the back of Steve's car, the heaters on but not doing a lot, the blanket stretched over Robin's shoulders. She tucks it behind your back, and you all look out to the night and scout for bugs.
"There," you whisper, pointing.
Green dots of light rise from the dry grass like tiny lanterns, a handful at a time.
"Jonathan's gonna be sad he missed this," Robin murmurs.
You try to count them all. Four voices whispering bets into the night air, though the real number isn't possible to calculate. "Winner gets a new paperback on Robin," Eddie jokes, swiftly quietened by a barrage of elbows to his side.
They let you win.
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remembrancer-of-heresy · 30 days ago
Text
Tenderness
AU Reverse Therapy
Previous Part: Peaceful Sleep, Next Part: Feast
Summary: Red corsairs find it harder to keep their desires while the girl becomes attached to them.
Pairing: Chaos!Lamenter/fem!OC/Chaos!Flesh Tearer
Characters: Malina (fem!OC), Luka The Angel (OC Chaos Lamenter), Virgil (OC Chaos Flesh Tearer)
Warnings: yandere, violence, cannibalism, stolkhom syndrome, somnophilia
Word count: 3056
Author's note: Suddenly I realized that if I had written Feast, it would have been a very choppy and quick ending to "Malina's assimilation". So that's how this part was born. And I must say, I'm glad I wrote it first.
Song: London After Midnight - The Bondage Song (Unchained Mix)
Tag List: @kit-williams, @druidwolf21
“I saw Him bestow His blessing upon His servants. Shining like a slashing sword. Bright as the vivid sun. They were gifted with His love and will. And the faithful servants rose from their knees, they abandoned their fear. And turned their weapons against His enemies. The battle was not yet over. Humanity will live. And it will fight for its Emperor.”
“It’s… so beautiful.” - all Luka could whisper, unable to stop looking at his Malina.
How delicately she held the book, how tenderly she whispered the stupid sermons of a stupid old man. How her lips, enchanting lips, moved. How she had to pause and her pink tongue gently outlined the flesh. And her face almost glowed.
He wants her. He wants her so much. Always. All the time. All eternity.
“Yes, the sermons of Saint Ignatius are my favorite.” - the naive girl smiled happily, not understanding that the man was not talking about them at all. - “Unfortunately, I didn’t have a personal book at home, I had to listen to them in church. But thanks to you, Luka,  I finally have one. Thank you.”
“Y-your welcome.” - the man hesitated awkwardly, trying not to blush. If his dear love continued to praise him, then he would have to leave the quarters as soon as possible. He had few ways to calm down. Most often, he had to use his hand.
Well, and last time, due to an excess of emotions (she, with tears in her eyes, kissed him on the cheek with joy when he gave her this stupid book!), he had to go to the lower levels and eat a child. It was delicious, but Luka loved children and therefore cried for a long time after eating. But then he was able to pull himself together and go back. To find his beauty sitting on his bed and waiting for him.
She wanted to read to him. To him~
“There was no point in learning to read on the agri-world, but I had a very smart uncle.” - the girl whispered, involuntarily remembering the past. - “Apart from Ignatius’s sermons, I adored the romance novel about the Sister of Battle and the guardsman. To tell the truth, it was banned for obvious reasons, but my uncle managed to get a copy. Huh, only now do I realize that we behaved like heretics.”
Luka just laughed at this story. It’s even a pity that they almost mowed down half the population of her home world. Judging by the girl’s stories, they were not fanatics at all.
After all, maybe he lied to Malina that he served the Imperium. But the fact that he saved her was not a lie. She is a young girl dreaming of a beautiful and pure love (and she will get it with him). But the bastards from the Inquisition would have burned her alive even for this innocent desire.
They never listen. Never try to compromise, to forgive those who stumbled. To forgive those who did not even break the law. Who simply wanted to survive and used all the resources, even if they were still alive and begged him not to do it. But the Imperium itself says that everyone must carry out their duty. And Luka was the best in his squad, he should have survived.
His brothers ended up in his stomach for a reason. It was their duty.
"But in my defense, I skipped the raunchiest parts." - The girl giggled, clutching the book to her before jerking it away. - "Oh, I guess that's not something I should talk about while reading Saint Ignatius."
Naive, sweet, gentle Malina. Only his, his love, his salvation. His angel~
“Saint Ignatius?” Virgil suddenly entered the room, abruptly interrupting their wonderful solitude with a question. Confusion was written on his face.
“Yes, Saint Ignatius. His sermons were often held in my church. He valued peace more, but also participated in battles. They say he died an honorable death in one of the battles near Milestorm. Or rather, he disappeared, but our clergy are sure that if he is not fighting, then he is feasting near the God-Emperor.”
Vergil, who was listening attentively to the girl, stood for some time with a thoughtful expression on his face. Before bursting out laughing. Luka thought about shutting the freak up, but changed his mind as soon as the frightened Malina pressed herself against him. Yes, that’s better, closer…
“Good propaganda in the Imperium. Or rather, good training.” - the man smiled sarcastically before lying down on the bed. He was still laughing. - "Feasting near the God-Emperor."
It was really funny. And Luka wanted to laugh too and even go tell the crew about the noble fighter Ignatius. But the look of the upset girl stopped him. The lamenter slowly ran his hand through the girl's dark hair. She immediately looked at him.
He wanted to devour her.
"Do you want to pray?"
Malina prayed. Luka told her that he did it silently. Since he had something to say to the Corpse on Throne (for example, that chemotherapy of the Astartes was the most idiotic decision and his former brothers are pathetic). But he just watched the girl with her eyes closed, pressing her hands to her forehead.
"Sure," - a soft, trusting smile blossomed on her lips.
He loves her so much.
***
Baphomet was disappointed when Virgil asked him for a safe sleeping pill. Not the kind that makes the victim have nightmares and make their eyes pop out of their sockets. Not a drug that makes the flesh boil like meat on burning oil.
He had to explain for a very long time what he wanted. But the main thing is that the disappointed apothecary still gave him the remedy he needed, which the girl took along with the fruit drink. And looking at how soundly she was sleeping, the man understands that his suffering in the stuffy office was worth it.
Malina was quietly snoring, burying her face in her soft pillow. Her eyelashes were gently trembling. Saliva was almost ready to fall from her lips. Virgil wanted to get it out. Which he probably did when he stuck his black tongue into her pink mouth.
Luka insisted that they not touch Malina ahead of time. To give her time to assimilate, get used to the new home, get used to them. She is not a temporary pleasure, she will be with them forever. And if earlier Virgil reluctantly endured, now he himself was ready to wait. The girl is either a psyker or a saint of the Corpse on the Throne, she was able to awaken tender feelings in him.
But while she sleeps, the space marine could at least indulge himself a little. He did not penetrate her, did not even use her tights. He just looked. This was the first time he decided to use her mouth. Apparently, the leader's words excited him too much.
“The next target is the forge world of Hephaestus-VI. Huron Blackheart intends to get as many weapons as possible and is not averse to reining in the Imperials. Two in one. The battle will be hard, but that's part of the fun, isn't it?”
The laughter that followed throughout the war hall confirmed his words.
“And then we will have a feast.”
A feast. A feast. Rivers of blood and meat, moans and cries of supplication, excesses and temptations, a reward after no less delightful slaughter, genocide. All this was soon awaiting him. And Bacchus, pleased with a slightly calmer Virgil and finally controlled Luka, not only allowed him to take the second one with him (Luka was glad like a child). But also allowed him to take Malina.
“I would never have believed in my life that all you two need is a wet cunt.”
No. Virgil and Luka only needed Malina. Although he would never say this out loud while everyone was awake. Only when they were asleep, when they became vulnerable. Only then could Virgil give free rein to his hidden feelings.
The quiet moan that escaped the lips of the sleeping girl sent shivers down the man's spine. He was too carried away. The man stuck his mouth out, allowing the girl to gulp air before attacking her lips again.
Licking her teeth clean and sucking in the saliva that had collected in his mouth. Playing with the limp tongue that was not only unable to resist, but even able to keep up with him. He just wanted to devour her.
Virgil, restraining himself from pushing his tongue further down her throat, sucked on the girl's lips, swollen from kisses. Enjoying that she was in his hands. Enjoying control. Dominance. Her submission and quietness.
Malina doesn't even realize what kind of monster is sitting above her. What it's doing to her body. That it's ready to tear apart anyone who dares to offend her. That he needed nothing but her beating red heart under her ribs.
Delicious, tasty little mortal. And all his.
"And what are you doing with her?"
Almost all his.
“Are you blind or do you need an explanation of what grown men do with pretty girls?” the furious traitor hissed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to take her, I’m not an idiot. But there was no talk of kissing.”
“Too much. She’ll find out.” Luka’s blue eyes glittered furiously. His pupils almost disappeared when he looked at her reddened lips. Virgil almost cringed. Crazy bastard.
“Just tell her it’s all about the fruit drink and she’ll believe it.” Virgil relaxed as he saw Luka calm down. “Hah, and I almost thought you were worried about me stealing her first kiss. Do you really not love her as much as you said?”
The silence that followed the question and the scarlet cheeks were the best answer.
“Well, well, and he's accusing me.” - the man scratched his bald head irritably, trying to hide his disappointment in everything concerning Malina. The first one would always be the lamenter. - “And when?”
“When we brought her to the ship. I pecked her.” - Luka shrugged his shoulders as if nothing had happened.
“But I had a tongue!” - boyish joy almost overwhelmed the former flesh tearer, but quickly dissipated.
“I didn’t want to rush things on the first day. With the tongue, it was on the seventh night.” - the boy’s pale, freckled face turned red like a tomato, and his eyes sparkled. - “It lasted two seconds, but it was magical.”
A cheeky, cunning, stupid puppy. He made up the rules himself, but still breaks them. And yet, Bacchus was right. Only with the appearance of Malina did Luka become more manageable. If before he was simply the best warrior, now he got the opportunity not only to be the first to board, but also to enter the main halls of the Feast. Taking the girl away from him would be simply blasphemy in the opinion of the entire crew.
“It doesn’t matter, the first kiss will only count when she’s conscious. Eurydice reported we’ll be arriving on Hephaestus VI soon. And then there’ll be a feast. Bacchus said to bring Malina. Perhaps it’s the perfect time to finally make her ours.”
“Yes… she’ll be mine soon.” Luka whispered almost blessedly, ignoring Virgil. Bastard. So be it. He was only going to touch the girl when she was asleep anyway. No great loss.
For now, they needed to prepare for the massacre.
***
Luka and Virgil had strictly forbidden Malina to leave the quarters. Even on the very first day. But they reminded her of the rules again when they left the ship. As Luka said, Hephaestus-VI was attacked by heretics and they, the faithful servants of the God-Emperor, came to the rescue.
As he says.
The battle promised to last a long time. Therefore, they prepared everything necessary for the girl. If for some reason the operation lasted longer than expected, then she only needed to press a button. And then they would bring her food. The main thing is to hide in the bath.
But as Virgil said, putting the device on the shelf, this would only happen if all the food ran out. And there was enough of it in the quarters to live well and healthy for a whole month. So the girl hoped not to meet other inhabitants of the ship.
Two weeks had already passed.
It was hard to admit, but Malina realized that she missed them. It didn't mean that she wasn't afraid of them. She still was and would be. But over the time she spent with them (a month or two?) she had gotten used to them. They protected her.
Virgil was a monster, but he never dared to hurt her. He hardly spoke to her. If he had dark desires for her, he kept them deep inside. In the darkest night, when she couldn't see him.
And Luka... he loved her. He loved her. He cared for her. And even if Malina knew that the smell of blood followed him. And even if she didn't know his worst side. But she saw his smile. Cute freckles and blue eyes. Blue as the sky of her home world.
They were a new home in every sense of the word.
A sudden crash pulled the girl out of her thoughts. Malina looked at the door with fear. She heard moans and sighs coming from the hallway. But it was not like before. Not those distant screams that haunted her in distant nightmares.
Someone was right behind the door.
She should stay inside. She should hide in the bathtub. Turn on the water and take a shower. Wait for the sounds to fade. Wait for it to go away. But Malina's legs wouldn't obey. She followed the words pouring out of the mouth of... a man? Yes, it was a man.
He sounded like a boy. But old enough to join the army. Old enough and educated enough to know and memorize not just a prayer. But a sermon of the saints. And Malina herself knew that sermon quite well for her status.
It was the sermon of Saint Ignatius.
“And, ah, I saw, I saw the Saint herself. Descended from heaven at His call. And her light f-f-filled me. My soul sang. And I understood that H-His w-will is still, s-still, ah, s-still…”
“Strong,” the girl finished, pressing herself against the door. Malina herself did not notice how she did it.
“Not strong. Hard. Wait. W-what? W-who is there? Y-you here?” - Hearing the girl moan, the man pressed himself harder against the door, judging by the sounds. Scarlet blood slowly seeps over the threshold, forming a tiny puddle. - “Y-you believe in the God-Emperor? They also captured you? Are you safe?”
“Y-yes.” - the captive felt her heart beat with anxiety. But Luke and Virgil continued to play the defenders of the Imperium with her. She had no need to lie, no need.
“Oh, I thought, I-, ah, oh,” the man on the other side of the door was gasping for breath. With every sound he made, he was becoming more and more afraid. Malina realized that the prisoner was looking around. As if he was being followed. - “P-please, open the door for me. I-I was tortured. I-I, d-don’t even know how I c-could get out.”
Malina stared at the huge iron door. At that moment, it looked gigantic. The girl had never felt so small as at that moment. So defenseless. But she was protected. They were taking care of her. She just had to stay inside.
“C-can you hear me? H-help me.” - the man’s voice trembled. He was crying.
“I-I can’t. I can’t.” - the girl whispered, moving away from the gates leading to hell, back to her bed. Maybe this was a test? They wanted to make sure Malina was behaving well? She's good. She's very good, she won't open the door. Mom said not to talk to strangers.
Luke and Virgil will be angry.
"P-please open the door, they're close. P-please." The man was openly crying, weakly knocking on the door.
Sitting down by the bed, the girl only pressed her head closer to her knees, covering her ears. If only not to hear his pleas. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she prayed. But not to the God-Emperor. Not to the forces of Chaos. She just wanted Luka and Virgil to return to her quickly. The boy’s sobs and the girl's were almost in sync. Then the sound of feet was heard. And a nasty human laugh.
"No, no, no. Don't touch me, no. GOD-EMPEROR!"
But the God-Emperor did not answer his prayers. The boy continued to scream as people like him carried him away. All that was left was a pool of blood. And a girl crying in the dark. Who could not save him. Only delay the inevitable.
But she could save herself.
***
"Hey, hey, what happened?" - Luka gently stroked the back of the crying girl, who immediately threw herself into his arms. Not paying attention to his bloody armor from the battle.
Vergil, just like the lamenter, looked at Malina in surprise, clinging to the golden armor. He threw the bag with trophies and gifts for the girl on his bed before starting to take off his armor.
"There was a man here. He said that he served the God-Emperor. He said that he was being tortured by heretics." - The girl, with red eyes from tears, looked at Luka, not noticing his frightened expression. - "I didn't believe him! I didn't open the door. Angel, I was so scared."
The men looked at the poor girl, unable to utter a word. Was this the blessing of the Four Gods or the God-Emperor himself? No. But the red corsairs knew that they were incredibly lucky with Malina. No one would replace her.
"Everything is fine, everything is fine. The bastard has already been taken to prison. You did well not to let him in." - the blond tenderly grinned, stroking the girl's hair. At that moment, he could hardly be called an angel. - "We are proud of you."
"Yes." - Virgil exhaled. - "Good girl."
That day, they restrained themselves and allowed the girl to fall asleep quietly on her bed. The feast was approaching. They could wait a little longer.
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kalrialcock · 3 months ago
Text
dear lily
all day and all night i thought about writing you this letter, saw it unfold in my mind, and so now that i am here with my paper and my ink it does not seem like a real thing, but a task that one undertakes in a dream. when i am finished i will curl this paper up and tuck it in an acorn shell and throw it through your bedroom window; i dreamed this, too, and did i dream you? are you real? are you anything of flesh, do you breathe? sometimes, when i look out of your mirror at you, i think that i am looking at a piece of my own soul, torn loose and tossed into the world. not because you belong to me, but because you are familiar and strange at the same time. lily, you a person, you are a creature all in your own right - and isnt that curious? how can something like you have come to be? i want to unpick you, like stitches, to see what makes you run - but i wont. i will content myself with drawing your name over my wrist bone to consider how you turn my blood into gold. you were small when i was small. i watched you through the bluster, through the blazing star. it was my mother warned me against you, but i heard you singing in the cinnamon fern and thought you were beautiful: a thing i could never touch. like the crest of orion. like the farthest pleiades. you wore erythronium in your hair, like your name; the yellow trout lily. lily, lily. sometimes i think i would eat you if i could. there is a witch in a story who ate a girl she loved, and always there afterwards when she spoke, flowers fell out of her open mouth. i would swallow you up, and you would be lobelia on my tongue for the rest of my life. this is what they say: it is not uncommon for us to want to eat what we love. but you are uncommon. every moment we have spent together is a shining stone in the bowl of my skull. i am greedy, and so i take them out and look at them now and then, like a dragon. the day we went to the buried well and threw butterfly weed down into the black water to count our wishes. the first time you stepped out of your dress for me, gold in the sun, yellow and gold. the night i brought you into the hill, when you clung to me like a lichen and in the hall your eyes were cups of firelight. the day in the rain, both of us laughing. dear lily: my mother taught me many things but she did not teach me this. where does it come from, the thread that ties us together? who spun it? what is it composed of, what is its matter? i have half a mind to unpick myself, to find the source; but i wont. that day in the field of green-and-golds. you said who are you, where did you come from. i said i came from the hill; i am the girl who does not die. you laughed and i fell in love with you there. there: i wrote it down, i turned it into ink and made it something tangible. but you could burn this letter and i would still love you, so it must be something beyond matter. see it here in black and white. i love you, girl from the house on the hill, girl with the hair made of sunbeams. i love you, knot in my heart. i love you, hands on my hands, hands on my ribs, mouth on my mouth. i love you, stone in my shoe. i love only you. only you. only ever you.
yours always juniper
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