#If I could I'd record streams
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QSMP's movie night is starting in a few minutes!
The admins warned that some of the videos might have copyrighted music, so many streamer's VODs will be muted.
If you have the capability, please consider recording this portion of the livestreams you're watching so VOD watchers won't miss out!
QSMP Members currently streaming the event:
Phil, Roier, Foolish, Bad, Cellbit, Tazercraft
#QSMP#Blog Announcement#ish#If I could I'd record streams#but I don't know how to#also my PC has been screwing itself over recently so I don't think it could handle it
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Ah shit, here we go again...
#thus begins my thorough replay of the dragon age series#which is exciting bc i missed my warden so much#considered streaming it but it would be with no commentary and that wouldn’t be fun for anyone asdfsggdhshhzkl#or recording it but again no commentary probably so 🤷♀️#i mean i could do commentary but i'd probably be a nervous wreck lmao#anyway on to playing my lovely Elsanna Cousland for the 20th time or whatever!#jules speaks#da:o#delete later#jules plays
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ignore if you don't give one for my streams Anyways potential stream schedule goin forward Just Until I Finish Judgement
thursday i'll stream judgement from like. 3:30 ~ 7:30
friday'll be 4:30 ~ 8:30
saturdays will be the usual 3:30 ~ . fuckin whenever LMAO art stream i do
#snap chats#ew i just remembered i have my spanish exam tomorrow im going to throw up#anyway i thought i'd stream today but the more i thought of it the more i wanted to throw up#im already really drowsy and plus i dont want to be stressed under the time crunch in-between class#plus assembling and disassembling The Tower is nerve racking i dont need something breaking while i rush to class LOL#thursday'll be chill since i only have my morning class then and friday i only have The One class. and its friday.#i'm putting a strict time limit on gameplay days since i want to try to record these and i think four hours is just enough time#firstly to watch but also i think it's small enough to be able to be saved onto my computer#idk we'll see how it plays out. i think the usb could only record about two hours before it ran out of space#and my computer's space As Of Now is about twice the size of that usb#i'm gonna try to clear up more space but yeah thats the deal for right now#four hours is by no means a lot of gameplay time- much less than id like LMAO but we do what we gotta#maybe i'll do a similar schedule for IW except instead of thurs being a game day i'll make it sunday#i have a night class thursday next semester unless i edit my schedule at some point#honestly i might cut out art streams during IW... lemme speed through the shit so i can draw stuff for it LOL#but we'll get there when we get there
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Hi so sorry to bother you, I have a question about the resistance. Are there any phrases that are connected to it, like "the sun will rise again" (I think), or connected to both the resistance and techno? I don't remember it clearly enough
yup! "the sun will rise again" is the only significant in-game one i can think of, that was his idle dialogue after he was voted for. seraphine also says "look up to the sky!" during battle so that players can give mana to him
there might have been significant quotes said in stream but that's all i can think of in the actual game
there's also this, said by no one in particular, just broadcasted on the server afterwards
#it is not a bother i love asks. but also i could talk about the resistance at any time ask or not#i wish i had more screenshots of dialogue i had taken myself aaaaaaugh I DIDNT KNOW I'D BE THIS INSANE ABOUT IT... HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN#text recreations arent enough i need full resolution in-game screenshots :(#i have streams but. The Quality... i need someone else's screen recording or something it's killing me#so many bits about it are just not on the wiki. like that screenshot i included that's just nowhere to be found#someone PLEASE let me edit for the wiki i need to add random trivia#asks#arorgripi#rising sun
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wish i didn't feel so anxious and perceived all the time.
i'd love to remake all my old covers/dubs and make new ones again too :I
...get back into voice acting too
but no, i gotta be a nervous little baby who can't record unless I'm alone
#minty rambles#personal#i'd need to remake my box soundbooth too..it mightve gotten thrown out#singing was such a fun hobby ;-;#and va too- i could wrap that up with streaming too i guess#i had thought about doing recording streams- live practice and mastering(badly lol)#or i wish i had friends who voice acted or made video essays that i could voice in =3=#i dont think im up for making my own videos..ive swirled the idea in my head for years..#and just haven't been able to follow through and finish one- whether that means its right for me or not i dunno#im so jealous of artists and creatives who are able to continue to create in bad environments or despite bad situations#i wish i were like youuuu
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The Yapping Hour is Upon Us
In which Max decides that maybe doing interviews isn't such a bad thing.
Warnings: jos verstappen mention ew Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.5k plus social media posts
TheYappingHour posted:
349,219 likes liked by redbullracing, charlesleclerc, and others TheYappingHour Back at it this week with a very super top secret special guest. I simply can't wait to reveal who's on this weeks pod, you guys! You're going to DIE. (peep the clue in the second picture!) user928 her podcast set up is so aesthetic i can't user0928 RED BULL??? what does this meeeeeean??? >>>user1211 she hasn't done a ton of athletes in the past, maybe she got one of the Red Bull athletes!! user00291 DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN. (shhh let me be delulu for a minute) >>>user221 as much as i'd love that, we all know how much Max hates interviews.
There was absolutely no reason why having Max Verstappen on your podcast should be making you this nervous. You’ve interviewed actual heads of state, a former president, and royalty for crying out loud and you’re losing your mind over Max fucking Verstappen? You supposed it came from the fact that you had spent most of your childhood traveling from track to track to watch your dad race in NASCAR, racing was in your blood and you knew how revered and idolized Max was. And how rabid his fans could get. You wanted to get this interview right. Needed to get this interview right. Motorsport were still a huge part of your life, even if you weren’t really outwardly an active fan. You never missed a NASCAR or F1 race and while you considered yourself a Ferrari girlie, Red Bull was most certainly your second team.
“Everything ready?” Your assistant Shannon pokes her head in as you fluff the last throw pillow on the cream colored lounge chair. Scanning the room, everything looks to be in order. The two overstuffed chairs dominate the center of the small recording studio, each with a microphone set up on a small side table next to each chair. Instrumental versions of Taylor Swift songs floated out of small speakers tucked away and a few candles burned in the low light of the studio, creating the exact ambiance you were famous for.
You’d been doing your podcast, The Yapping Hour, for nearly five years now and it was now one of the most popular podcasts being produced. You specialized in relaxed interviews of people that the general public don’t get to see relaxed very often. Your big break had come about 3 years ago when you had somehow managed to land an interview with Michelle Obama, her episode was still the most streamed episode of yours to date. Everyone had fallen in love with your interview style, how you got these normally highly media trained individuals to drop their guard down a little and be real for even just an hour. It gave people such a unique glimpse behind the curtain of fame and your fans ate up every bit of it.
“I think so!” You nod, smoothing down the front of your boyfriend cut jeans even though the denim is perfectly ironed without a single wrinkle.
“Good, because he just pulled in the parking lot.” Shannon smirks. She knows how nervous you are for this interview and is insisting it’s because you have a crush on the driver. Which would utterly unprofessional if it were true. But it wasn’t true. At all. “And he’s driving this matte black Aston Martin.” She closes her eyes as she bites her lip, smirk growing even wider.
“Okay, let’s cool it on the hero worship.” You warn, following Shannon out into the lobby of the building.
Outside, it’s a dreary late April morning in the heart of downtown London. You had traveled from your home base in New York City just for this interview but had been surprised at how much you liked the ambiance and energy in the city. So much so that you had extended your stay a few extra weeks. The good thing about being your own boss of a podcast was that you could literally work from anywhere you had your laptop.
Peering out into the parking lot, you’re surprised to see a lone figure in jeans and what looked to be a Red Bull windbreaker, hustling across the pavement towards the door. When he approaches the door, Shannons steps forward to open the door, a gust of wind whipping at your hair when Max comes bustling in through the doors.
“Hello!” Max’s voice sends involuntary shivers down your spine, a feeling you fight hard to shove down. This is not the time to be a fan girl, you remind yourself.
“Hi Max, thank you so much for joining us today! Can I get you some water or maybe some tea?” Shannons steps forward first, extending her hand.
Max takes it and gives her a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Water is fine, thanks.”
“Max, it’s such a pleasure to meet you.” You step forward then, the heels of your black Louboutain’s clicking on the hardwood floor as you approach him. It takes every ounce of focus you have not to react at what feels like a white hot spark flickering over your skin when his hand touches yours for the first time.
“Pleasure is mine.” He murmurs, cat like smirk replacing the warm smile that had greeted Shannon. Your social media did you absolutely no justice and Max was finding it hard to keep his composure you were so pretty.
“Are we waiting on anyone else or is it just you today?” You ask, eyes darting above his shoulder to see if there was anyone still in the parking lot.
“Why? Will I be needing my body guard today?” He quips as he follows you towards the recording studio.
You pray the dim lights in the studio hide the way you’ve gone pink. “Of course not! It’s just that normally the people I have on the show travel with an…entourage.”
“I don’t like people.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious fact in the universe. “I prefer to travel solo. Besides, I’m no Queen of the Netherlands or Justin Trudeau, I don’t really need an entourage.”
He casually drops two of your biggest interviews like it’s nothing and you feel the pink tinge of your cheeks heat to a crimson red. “You’ve listened to the show then?”
He nods, taking the seat you offer him as Shannon and your AV guy Steve bustle around getting things set up. A bottle of water appears for each of you and you take out the pages of notes you’ve made even though you’ve got all the questions memorized. You like to be prepared and prefer your interviews to be more conversational, less question and answer.
“I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” His eyes hold this glint of mischief that if you were less of a professional, would have you biting your lip and kicking your feet. Truth was, Max had spent an ungodly amount of time on your socials and wikipedia page, obsessing over you and your career.
“And yet you still came.” You tease.
“I did.” He says simply and you can’t help but notice how his gaze briefly drops from your eyes down to your lips and quickly back up. It’s so quick that if you weren’t in the business of watching and observing people, you probably would have missed it. But those baby blue eyes of Max’s are so easy to read, all you can do is grin back at him.
“Well, thank you for making the trek into London today. I do appreciate it.”
You briefly explain how the interview is going to work, how Steve is going to make sure everything is set up and recording, how you’ll post audio and video versions and that he can have final say in anything that goes in or stays out of the interview. You’ve found that a lot of your guests appreciate that little clause and in the five years you’ve been doing the show only a handful of bits have been kept out. You like to think it’s because you’re good at what you do and get people to open up on a level that they feel comfortable with.
Steve finally gives you the okay and you settle into the cozy lounge chair, Max sitting comfortably in the one opposite you.
“Thank you again for joining me today, Max. I’ve got to admit, I was a little surprised when your manager said you’d agreed to come on the show. You don’t do a lot of lengthy interviews and I could only find a handful of podcast appearances over the years. So, why The Yapping Hour? Why now?”
Max takes a sip of water before placing it on the table beside him. His shoulders are relaxed, his ankle sitting on his knee is a causal pose. You’ve become a veritable body language expert since starting the show and you can already tell this is going to be a good interview.
“I like your style.” His blunt answer throws you off for a moment and your cheeks heat. Again. You make a mental note to make sure they edit your complexion in post production to take the blush out. “GP sent me the one you did with Dale Earnhardt Jr a few months ago and I was impressed at how authentic you were. Dale is a character but you got a lot of depth out of him. Your questions went beyond the typical ‘what’s your favorite race track.’”
“Well, thank you. That is quite the compliment coming from you.” For the third time in a short time, you blush at the compliments this man is handing out left and right.
Your eyes flicker above Max’s shoulder to where Shannon and Steve sit, their smug faces tell you that you’re not imagining him flirting with you.
“I have to tell you, I went karting with a few friends in prep for this interview and oh my God, I’ve been sore ever since! I can't imagine how hard an F1 car is on your body. Talk to me a little bit about your training sch-…”
“You went karting as research?” He interrupts you, face a mask of disbelief.
Now it’s your turn to smirk, “Of course, I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” You toss him a wink and enjoy the way your stomach flips when his ears go a bit pink. “My dad beat me by almost 20 seconds and I don’t think I’ll ever hear the end of it, but it was worth it. I can see why so many people get hooked, it was so fun.”
“Karting with a NASCAR legend had to make it a little better though, yeah?”
“You know my dad?” Your brows nearly hit your hairline, you’re so surprised at this. Your dad had been long retired before Max had come onto the racing scene and there wasn’t a huge overlap in fan bases between F1 and NASCAR.
Max nods, “He was racing around the time Jos was in F1. I still remember that one Daytona 500 where he stole the win from Earnhardt Jr on the last lap after he’d led for the entire race.”
You tilt your head back laughing and Max thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard, fully entranced by the long column of your neck that’s suddenly exposed. “Oh God, dad is going to die when he hears you know about that race.”
“Have either of you been to an F1 race yet?” A plan begins to form in Max’s head.
“No!" You lean forward to swat at his arm playfullt. I’ve tried a few times but it’s always fallen through. I do watch most of the races though, as long as my schedule permits. Sometimes it’s easier when you guys are in Europe because the races are so early in New York, it’s easy to watch them from bed on Sunday mornings.”
The image of you wrapped up in a fluffy duvet wearing nothing but his t-shirt as you watch him race nearly sends Max into orbit. He blinks furiously, trying to get that vision out of his mind so he can pay attention to you.
“Tell me this then, if you could pick any garage to watch the race which one would it be and why would it be Red Bull?"
You can’t help that laugh that explodes from you then and Max preens under your attention, smile stretching wide across his handsome face. “You know, I could have sworn it was my name on the podcast Instagram page.” You tease, giving him a wink. “You keep asking me questions, I’m going to be out of a job, Verstappen.”
“I can’t help it when the interviewer is much more interesting than I am.” He murmurs, taking another sip of water without taking his eyes off of you.
The rest of the interview continues on for the next two hours and you get so much content you feel a little dizzy at the thought of having to cut over half of the episode. For the first time in the podcast’s history, you may have to split this into two episodes. Max doesn’t mind one bit, finding that he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be with how easy he finds it talking to you.
You wrap up the interview over an hour past the time you had told Max’s press officer it would last but neither of you make any movement to get up, despite both Shannon and Steve beginning to wrap things up.
“I’m so sorry I kept you this long, Max. I know you’re not a huge fan of lengthy interviews.”
Max just shrugs, “If all interviews were like this, I probably would say yes to a lot more of them.”
You grin over at him as you rise, realizing the sun is setting outside and your stomach is aching for food. Max follows suit, although he feels a clench in his stomach realizing that his time with you is coming to an end.
“Can I ask you something?” He says when Shannon and Steve walk out of the studio, leaving the two of you alone.
You look up at him and nod earnestly, “Of course!”
“Why didn’t you ask me about my childhood? Usually it’s one of the first things people ask me, especially in these kinds of interviews.”
You shrug, face heating at being found out. “Like you, I do my research and I figured you might not want to talk about that part of your life. I want my guests to feel comfortable when they come on the show, not immediately put on the defensive. I guess I thought there were other more important topics…”
Your words hang in the air, heavy between you two. Something in Max’s chest aches at the simple kindness you’ve extended him. It’s true, he doesn’t like revisiting his childhood very often, especially when it’s recorded and will be put on the internet. His dad was very much still in his life, obviously, and while he had done a lot of work to move past his childhood, it was still painful to talk about.
“Thats…wow. Thank you.” Is all he can manage, voice thick with emotion.
“Of course.” You murmur, reaching out to touch his elbow in what you hope comes across as a comforting gesture.
Max’s eyes drop to where your slender fingers rest on his bare arm before a smile stretches back across his face. “I know it’s kind of last minute but you were saying earlier you’d never been to a race. We’re in Miami next weekend and I’d love it if you were my guest…”
You can’t help the flutter in your chest at how nervous he appears standing before you. Your eyes dart over to Shannon, the official keeper of your schedule and are delighted when she nods vigorously, phone in hand with your calendar already pulled up. You made a mental note to give that girl a raise ASAP. “I would love to, Max.”
“Yeah?” He sounds almost shocked that you had agreed so quickly.
“Yeah.” You say, a hint of a giggle at the edge of your voice.
“How about I take you out to dinner tonight and we can work out the details.”
“Why Max Verstappen, I had no idea you were this smooth.”
TheYappingHour posted
987,392 likes liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, susiewolff, and others TheYappingHour SURPRISE! Part one of my interview with none other than 3 time F1 world champion Max Verstappen is live on all socials RIGHT NOW. (yeah, I said part 1! We both yapped so much you're getting a part two next week!) user9382 the chemistry between these two was OFF THE CHARTS >>>user111 ikr? i felt like i was interrupting something the entire hour. MaxVerstappen1 it was a pleasure meeting you! can't wait to see you in Miami this weekend! >>>user2999 MAX WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN MIAMI. >>>user999 stfu she is so coming to the Miami race?? MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN. user3210 has she ever done a two parter before??? not even the Queen of the Netherlands got a two parter!! user9928 i don't think i've ever seen Max this relaxed during an interview EVER. >>>user222 seriously! He was like a little boy with a crush then entire time.
yourpersonalinsta posted
234,100 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, michelle obama, and others yourpersonalinsta we yapped some more and stuffed our faces. til next time, maxie! (tagged: maxverstappen1) user999 not michelle obama herself in the likes maxverstappen1 you're going to be trouble in miami, aren't you? >>>yourpersonalinsta what do you think? ;) >>>user9932 oh my godddddd user028 this is the couple i didn't know i needed
tag list (some of you only requested to be on a series tag list but i am not organized enough for that. lmk if you want to be removed!! also fingers crossed this tag list works this time ffs. sorry!)
@anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream
#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff
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I've literally been driving myself insane thinking about the NULs, but the moment I try to write any thoughts down they just leave.
Like, stop that, I want to scream into space lol
#Please brain let me have this#Might just start recording me talking to myself and transcribe that lol#Or I could just live stream I guess#because UX is gone I don't even know what I'd put in the background tho#Maybe Classic Kingdom... idk
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Withering for You || Seungcheol- Part 4
Pairings: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! Seungcheol au, Husband! Seungcheol au, Wife! Reader au, Music Teacher! Reader au, Arranged Marriage au, College Sweetheart au, Exes to Lovers au
Synopsis: When you are arranged married to the man, whose heart you had broken years ago, even dreaming about mending things seems next to impossible when he has been holding grudge for all these only to return it to you tenfold.
Warnings (specific to this part): drama, crying, profanities, everyone is hurt and sad, everything is on rocks, mentions of infidelity (doesn't happen to though), mention of alcohol consumption, betrayal, italics represents occurrences in past
Word Count: 6.3k
TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED!
Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue
They say betrayal is worse than death if you taste it from someone you trust, someone you love. It's stingy, it's sickening, it's scathing.
You have always believed in soulmates, entitled Seungcheol to that word since you've known him, even wanted to make promises of eternity with him. But you should have seen the signs, should have never crossed the lines. Must not have tried to slip into the loopholes.
But you got blinded by greed, a hopeful stance of getting back together. Was it so wrong to wish a happily ever after with the one you have loved selflessly? Apparently it was.
"Sit.", you tell Seungcheol and the later obeys.
And as he does so his eyes fall on a very familiar document kept on the table. Instantly, he goes numb.
You observe him for a moment and play the recordings Jiah had given you. Midway, a panic stricken Seungcheol runs to you and pauses the recording.
He grabs your arms and says in desperation, "I didn't do all this Y/N. I admit I had planned all this because I wanted revenge but please trust me, it wasn't me."
"Unhand me.", you command him coldly, "Your touch disgusts me."
Seungcheol looks at you alarmingly before freeing your arms. He thinks of ways to convince you because in actuality, like he said he had planned it all but something out of scope happened. He fell in love with you again so long gone were all of those thoughts and schemes.
"What goes around, surely comes around.", you let out a chuckle, "Maybe that's why, I'm going through this. I get that you wanted to trample me upon. It's fair, to think about what you've been through because of me, I could have understood.", you look at him, "You could have handed me the divorce papers on our anniversary. Could have had other women and it would have wounded me. But-"
The tears pooling at the corner of your eyes are streaming down, "But how could you stoop so low? Knowing how much this academy matters to me, knowing what music means to me, you went out to attack my soul."
"No Y/N, I was a fool, please please", Seungcheol is crying as well, choking on his words, "It was wrong of me but I would never--"
"They are calling me a thief. Because of this incident those out there are questioning my whole career. The career, I've pursued after fighting the odds, after struggling for years. The one thing that is entirely mine.", your eyes turn darker as you say, "You could have rather killed me, Seungcheol."
Seungcheol gasps and shakes his head frantically.
"Even if I clear my name today, there will be people who'll still doubt my ability. Some out there would assume that I might be guilty and just because I belong to an influential family, I must have pushed everything under the rug with money.", you are hurting yourself with every word you utter at this point, clutching your chest, "My image is tainted, my career is ruined. They will never look at me the same way."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N", he gets on his knees and clasps his hands, pleading, "I would do anything to clear your name. I'd do anything to win back your trust just give me one chance--"
You take his hands off you saying, "I have always loved you, Seungcheol. Back then, even now, I have chosen you. But none of that matters now. You have stabbed me in the back but I'll be one to pay the price. I thought you'd be different but these genes run in your family. I can't even blame Jiah. You Choi's are no different from her--", you halt.
"What do you mean?", Seungcheol asks confused.
"As I said none of that matters now. You are so petty that you acted out the whole thing. You don't love me and from today onwards I won't either.", you answer him, taking out the wedding ring from your dress pocket, "Here, I'm giving you what you wanted.", you take his hand and place the ring on his palm, "Congratulations! This marriage didn't get through it's first year. But I have a present for you. I have filed for divorce, the papers will be sent to you as soon as they're ready."
Seungcheol is at loss of words. He's unable to comprehend the situation. He wants to stop you but on what ground? The irreversible damage is already done.
"I have all of my belongings sent over.", you inform him, "And if you're planning to create a fuss about the divorce and what's gonna happen after the conference, head on. I won't be giving up like last time. I'll see through the end of it."
"It's happening again", he tells himself and sounds so broken when he speaks through his wavering voice, "Please don't leave me again."
"I had no choice, I was forced to leave you back then", you mutter under your breath, making it impossible for him to hear, "I was willing to stay this time but I have to leave, this time for my sake."
While you gather the rest of your belongings, Seungcheol stands there helpless. And as you walk out of the house, he watches you take away the life of his adobe with you.
Seungcheol numbly tunes in to watch the press conference. He sees you on the screen, out of his reach, out of his life. He listens to each word you say. How sad you look as you address the matter. Even though your legal team briefs the journalists, his eyes are glued to you. He observes how you don't explicitly mention him or the Choi enterprise but throw sublte hints to catch on.
But you make it obvious at the end of the conference by announcing your divorce to Seungcheol.
"I have filed for divorce against Choi Seungcheol and I would like to refrain you all from associating me with the Choi's in future."
Seungcheol is immediately thrown under the bus. People who were coining you as a thief are now praising you and busy portraying him as the villain.
But mopping won't do him any good. His mind reel backs to every word you have said before leaving. He needs to get answers to some questions. Most importantly, he has to get you back.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol handling the legal charges against him which are minor because he digs out enough evidence to prove that he wasn't involved in the slander and Jiah is the main culprit, adding exceptional charges to the list that would nearly ruin her and damage her company's reputation.
The Choi enterprise faces reputation loss as well which results in their stock plummeting and the board of directors complaining about the situation. But being humungous in business, the impact isn't uncontrollable and since Seungcheol is mentally exhausted his father lets him loose taking matters into his hands for the time being.
Everything is manageable or bearable except for the divorce papers which he has received on your first anniversary, that sits coldly on his office table.
"The house I bought is an hour drive from here and I'm planning to stay there for some time, just to take my mind off of things." you say fishing out your car keys, "I have saved my new contact number to your phones."
"But are you sure you don't want us to be there with you?", your mother asks worriedly.
"At least let us help you shift--"
"Dad, I have lived alone before as well. Plus Chan and my friends are gonna help me with the unpacking.", you move over to hug both of your parents, "Visit me after it's done. Plus I'm planning to throw a cozy house warming house, not soon though."
"We're proud of you.", your mother says patting your head.
"I'm sorry for all the troubles and stress you've been through for the past year.", you mumble, quickly wiping your tears, "I'll be fine, no looking back promise."
"We have always trusted you, just take care of yourself and call us.", your father says kissing your forehead.
Chan waits for you by the car and he doesn't let you drive throughout the time it takes to reach your new house. As your friends help you settle into your new home, you are grateful to them for keeping you distracted and not bringing up Seungcheol.
"I'm sorry, Kwan. The academy had to face such an incident because of me.", you say hanging your head low in shame because you don't want anyone to see your tears, the can of beer in your hand remains unsipped, "I have decided to take some time off, please handle the academy and it's okay if you want me to backout. I'll transfer my shares to you."
Seungkwan blames the atmosphere for the tears in his eyes. He wipes them and sits beside you, "I couldn't have done it alone. The reason the academy exists is because we both had given it our all. So take all the time you want but you'll have to return."
You lean onto him and it's your brother who comes to wipe your tears.
"I'm so sorry Chan.", you speak through the tears, "I should have listened to you. I never thought that Seu--", you go quiet because it pains you to even say his name.
Everyone in room goes silent. It's not haunting rather comforting. But the successive ringing of the phones cause a mild commotion.
"Wonwoo keeps on calling us.", Eunsoo mutters, switching off her phone.
"Just tell him that I'm fine.", you tell her, "I'll give him a call later. I haven't visited Wonseok lately so I need to talk to him anyways."
It's amusing, how the night changes.
Seungcheol is distressed. He realises you are not the only one he has lost, he has lost Ms. Oh's empathy, he has also lost precious friend Wonwoo as well.
Wonwoo is back to his stoic self, the version he was when Seungcheol met him first. Only talks business with him, leaves as soon as he's done with assigned work. No more late night drinks, no more taking shots, none of the banter.
He watches you laugh as Wonwoo tells you something animatedly. He watches how your eyes are dull even though your lips are stretched.
Seungcheol had overheard Wonwoo talking to someone on the phone about his brother so he decides to visit him seperately just to check on him. He didn't expect to see you there, making him question since when you knew about Wonseok.
Your face falls when you're suddenly interrupted by Seungcheol's presence. He stands in front of you wordless, you don't bother to strike any conversation with him either.
"I'll get going, let me know if you need anything else.", you tell Wonwoo and turn around walk away.
"Y/N", Seungcheol says, "Can I please talk to you?"
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, "I don't think we have any business with each other. Do me a favour and just sign the divorce papers."
"I can't.", Seungcheol speaks out without missing a beat, "I need you Y/N, please give me a chance, let me make things right. I promise I won't let you down anymore."
"Enough with this act, don't assume you could fool me twice. I'm done with you.", you move around so now you're facing him again.
"You've changed your number.", he says meekly, "I don't get to see you anymore. That house haunts me, it's not the same without you."
You step in, closing the gap within you two, "You're facing the consequences of your actions. Stop acting like a fucking victim.", you spat out before walking out.
Wonwoo is torn. He doesn't want to take sides, it's even more difficult to see both of his dear friends grieving and suffering but there's nothing he could do.
"Wonseok is going through a series of surgeries because his condition had worsened and Y/N has been paying for them.", Wonwoo informs Seungcheol and before he could ask, Wonwoo adds, "You're already paying me more than I should be so I didn't want to burden you more. She had accidentally found out about Wonseok one day and decided to help me out even though I wasn't ready to accept it. She was determined and I couldn't stop her."
Seungcheol isn't surprised rather he is confused. This version of yours is what he was habituated to when you were dating until you convinced him it wasn't on the day you broke up. Something isn't adding up. Something about your nature and the way you act to what you had said that day are contradicting. You aren't mean-hearted, you are a giver so why did you years ago do something so bizarre, the thought is unsettling.
"She has been taking some time off from the academy, no one knows when she'll be back. She is so affected by the incident that she was ready to give up on the academy. The one she had built from scratch with her blood, sweat and tears." Wonwoo speaks disappointedly, "Do you realise what you have done?"
Seungcheol is ashamed, there's an unhealing pain in his heart thinking about you, about how he should be the one aiding you in your tough time but he can't because he's the reason you're in agony.
"As you know, I had also hated Y/N for what she had done. And now that you see me being friends with her is not because she's paying for Wonseok.", Wonwoo halts and takes a breath, choosing his words carefully, "It goes far beyond that. You have always been heedful, I think it's time for you to be vigilant as well. The truth might be far from what you've believed it to be."
Wonwoo doesn't spare another second on his watch as he walks away ignoring the desperate calls of his name.
Seungcheol's mind is not in place anymore.
Your thoughts are everywhere. Peace and happiness are some of the things you haven't gotten to feel lately. Though you've decided to spend time alone at home, the loneliness is caving you in.
Maybe tonight you're feeling a little more lonely than usual. Maybe you shouldn't miss the person who had pushed you to the edge of the cliff. Maybe you shouldn't be good with dates. Maybe you shouldn't trace your thumb on the calendar reminiscing about the day, you both had made it official years ago.
The damned tears aren't stopping, your heart isn't healing.
The bell rings and you are surprised because no one is supposed to visit you today. Quickly wiping your eyes and cheeks you don't bother to check the monitor and open the door.
At the other side of the threshold stands Seungcheol. Your red eyes gape at him as he looks at you shivering from driving all the way here in the snow.
"What are you doing here?"
You know getting your new address and number wouldn't be a big deal to Seungcheol given his network runs deeper.
"Can you let me in atleast, I'm freezing."
You cross over your arms and step aside. He saunters in and wanders off to have a tour of the house. He stops when he senses the glare you're sending him.
"If you realise that this house too plain for your taste you can always contact me. We're best in the business.", Seungcheol says as his lips purse in a line.
"I wonder from where did you get the audacity to come here?", you ask plainly.
"Just wanted to see you", he admits, "I miss you, Y/N."
You scoff at his words.
"Also, there's something you left behind, I found it while going through the drawers.", Seungcheol fishes out a notebook from his inner coat pocket.
You immediately recognise the object, raising your hand flat for him to handover it to you.
"I instantly got reminded of you always carrying it and scribbled down if anything came to your mind. Seems like you had kept this notebook from prior to university days.", he hands over the notebook and touches your hand gently in the process.
His touch turns to strong grip and he doesn't let go.
"Thanks.", you say trying to free your hand, "You should leave now."
The wedding ring on his finger feels cold on your skin.
"I know you remember what day it is today.", he says pulling you closer so that now you're colliding into him, your faces an inch apart. Your eyes are wide and the notebook falls as you're grabbing onto his shoulder out of reflex.
He has an undeniable look of longing in his eyes. You should just push him away, even kick him out but you find yourself frozen.
"I still remember falling in love with you, every moment of it.", he whispers, his gaze switching between your eyes and lips.
"So I do, Cheol.", his nickname slips out of your mouth so casually, there's a pause before you speak, "Why did you have to ruin it all?"
"I regret it all.", he gently holds your face, "But I realised that I never stopped loving you otherwise why would I despise you if I hadn't been in love in the first place."
"You could have broken my heart but you went after my soul."
"You did the same to me years ago. You took my soul away and I became just a shell.", he isn't complaining, just letting you know how difficult it was for him as well, "I planned everything to get back to you but what wasn't planned was my feelings resurfacing, falling in love with you all over again. I had forgotten all the schemes, had forgotten the reason why I hated you in the first place."
When he rests his forehead against yours, you close your eyes basking in the moment. What he did was definitely beyond any excuse but Seungcheol isn't entirely at fault. The fact that he was ready to start again with you after how you had treated him years ago proves the truth behind his words. The difference is you were forced to act out but he wasn't. He chose to destroy you.
So your eyes snap open and you're pushing him away.
"Leave Seungcheol.", you step away, "And never come back again."
Seungcheol sighs, "What should I do for you take me back? If you want I would never show myself in the vicinity of the academy. I wouldn't even ask you anything remotely related to your works or the academy. I'll stay all out of it, I promise."
"Nothing you do would make me go back to you.", your words taste bitter in your mouth, "We are not meant to be, we're not good for each other."
That is basically you firmly rejecting him, letting him aware that he has axed the mended fence.
Seungcheol smiles sadly, "Only if I could show you my heart and mind."
He then leaves with a heavy heart.
The next few days goes by Seungcheol racking his thoughts to make up his mind. Every time he thinks about you wanting to desperately cut ties with him, he relents. He laments on himself for what he has caused. At nights when he deliberately stays late, he mentally prepares himself to sign those papers because that's the only way to atone for his sins.
But those divorce papers get through every night without getting signed. Because when Seungcheol thinks he's ready that's when the realisation gnaws on him that he's actually not, that he'll never be.
And it gets harder each time he tries.
So one night, he lets his intrusive thoughts get the best of him and he ends up calling you.
"I'm trying but I can't bring myself to sign those papers", he speaks into the phone clutching it hard followed by a shaky breath, "I really want to give you what you want but whenever I think about not having you in my life, my willingness deters."
You stay quiet.
"Sorry to disturb you. Don't know what I was thinking. Please take care of yourself, bye.", he hangs up and collapses back on the chair.
Wonwoo watches through the blinds and he isn't new to this. Years ago Seungcheol had gone into a spiral, had almost given up on living post the breakup and now it hurts Wonwoo to see the history repeating itself.
So this time he promises to intervene for both of your sake, specially Seungcheol.
He has two things on his to-do list and though he isn't sure what the outcome will be, he's going to do them. He gathers everyone and let's them know of his plan.
"Mingyu, Eunsoo, Seungkwan", his gaze sweeps on the three, "You're gonna go and convince Y/N."
"I'll go to uncle and aunt.", Wonwoo says.
Eunsoo looks at him questionably, "We get our part. But are you sure your friend's gonna be okay?"
"Most importantly, I'm not sure how this will end because both of them are unpredictable as fuck.", Mingyu adds.
Seungkwan who was silent the whole time, speaks, "Guys, let's go for it. We will handle the aftermath.", he looks at Wonwoo, "You'll have to take care of Seungcheol because he's gonna hurt the most."
"It's better to be over it, Seungcheol deserves to know."
"What's wrong with you guys?", You ask absolutely astonished. All of your friends have suddenly busted into your house and are now advocating you on something that is supposed to be out of their box.
"Why are you suddenly siding with Seungcheol?", you say with a frown, "I'm feeling betrayed. I'm gonna call Chan now."
Eunsoo and Mingyu break into cold sweat knowing how scary your brother can be. Seungkwan sighs looking at the other two and gets that he has no other way but to sort down to what he's best at. He says, "Y/N, do you think we'd ever think ill of you? Do you think we'd be at your door because suddenly we felt emphatic towards Seungcheol? That's how lowly you think of us?"
The look on Mingyu and Eunsoo's faces are absolute comedic. They didn't expect Seungkwan would pull out his trump card.
Your gaze is unwavering when you say, "This won't work on me you know right?"
Seungkwan smiles, "Of course I know but we also know that you love Seungcheol and won't be happy without him. So we're saying all this just for your sake, not his, not anyone else's."
"You're wr-"
"You had 7 years but you couldn't get over him, even accepted his family just to marry him.", Seungkwan continues, "You had come across so many good men all these years but no one piqued your interest because you only had Seungcheol in your heart."
"Y/N, I did believe him when he said he fell in love again. I had seen the way he looked at you, the way he was protective around you. The way his eyes were always on you, radiating love. It may have started as an act but at some point it became real.", Eunsoo smiles at you, "He loves you."
"But Soo--"
"If you really loathed him, you wouldn't have waited for him to sign those divorce papers, you would have upsurged everything. You have the power to ruin the Chois wholly but you're just buying yourself some time.", Mingyi adds and immediately shifts to hug you, "What Seungcheol did was incredibly wrong, wait he didn't even do it. It was Jiah."
"Are you not getting Jiah did all just to separate you both again?", Seungkwan ask and you look at him wide eyed.
"She had done the exact thing years back and was successful. Please don't let her win again. If she can't have Seungcheol, she has planned all this for you to not have him as well.", Eunsoo voices out her concerns, "Don't let all these heartbreaks, tears and sacrifices go in vain just because of some misunderstandings. Don't do something you'd regret because you didn't mend it when you had a chance."
Your heart sinks at their words.
"Take your time but choose what you think is the best for you.", Eunsoo rubs your back gently, "Rationality shouldn't always take the stance, sometimes hearts should be listened to."
You take a deep breath and say, "Fine guys, I'll think about it."
The smile on their faces are unmatchable.
Seungcheol is worried when he receives a call from his mother asking him to urgently come to their house. Wonwoo is already waiting by the car and though Seungcheol asks if he knows anything he stays tight lipped throughout the ride.
"I'll be waiting for you right here. Call me if you need me.", Wonwoo says with an intone and for some reason it doesn't resonate well with Seungcheol.
He is led into his father's study where he sees both of his parents waiting. They are heartbroken seeing their only son. Seungcheol has lost weight, accumulated bags under red eyes, appearance unkempt.
"Take a seat.", his father says, "I have something to tell you and it's regarding Y/N."
Seungcheol immediately perks up at your mention. An eerie silence falls upon the room. Seungcheol's anxious gaze searches for his parents'.
"Y/N was forced to break up with you years ago. I had made her do so.", his father admits.
Seungcheol freezes. He thinks he's hearing things that are not supposed to make any sense.
"Ever since I had started the business I had been diligent to it. Dedication and honesty does account for success but so also being money minded and cunning. As years went by that consistency and success made me cling to riches, fame and status that came along with it.", his father says as he takes a seat gesturing him to do the same. "You must be remembering that we were facing financial crisis because one of our major investor had withdrawn. It had affected us greatly."
Seungcheol nods, "We were on the verge of facing bankruptcy."
"Since Jiah's father runs a finance company, we had made small sort of deals previously but that time the amount required was large and no one was willing to help us not even her father. But later Jiah came to me and offered me a deal."
"W-What deal?"
"That she would convince her father to provide us support only if", there's an ominous pause before Mr. Choi looks at him and says, "I remove Y/N out of your life."
A tear falls from his eye, as he hears the tale of betrayal from none other but his father.
"I have never liked Y/N, the reason was basic, she didn't belong to our circle. Initially I thought she was just a fling but so I agreed with Jiah."
Seungcheol is numb at this point, he just sorts to listening.
"One day I had brought in Y/N to let her know that she needs to find her way out of your life.", Mr. Choi's gaze falls, "She instantly refused. No matter what I said she wasn't willing to leave you. One meeting turned to two, two turned to three but she was hellbent on not letting you go."
"With Jiah constantly pressurizing me, threatening to nullify the deal if not taken action soon, I became desperate.", he confesses, "So I resorted to one thing I should have never done. I can never forgive myself for that."
You say in utter disbelief, "Why don't you tell your son to breakup with me instead? Stop pestering me, you know we both love each other and Mr. Choi let me make this clear, this is the last time I'm meeting you."
Mr. Choi gives you a sickening smile. He casually says, "Your brother is currently studying in Australia, if I'm not wrong."
You pale instantly, "W-What about him?"
"You're right, this is gonna be our last meeting. If you don't breakup with my son, I'm not sure what I'll do with your brother. What if you don't get to see your dear little brother anymore?"
"Mr. Choi, you can't do this. Please--"
"I'm not here to negotiate. I think you're smart enough to make the right choice. So tell me Y/N, what did you decide?"
You are crying and begging but there's no mercy reserved to spare for you. How are you supposed to choose between your brother and the love of your life? You will have to so you choose what's best for all, you choose both.
"Fine, I'll breakup with Seungcheol. So stay away from my brother."
Mr. Choi smiles in mirth, "You made the right descision. Rest assured."
With job being done, he is walking out of the hall when your call of his name reaches his ears.
He turns with an incredulous look on his face as he waits for you to speak.
"Promise me that you'll never tell Seungcheol about this incident.", comes your strained voice.
"I wasn't planning to anyways.", Mr. Choi says, "Even better for me, I promise to not tell Seungcheol about any of this."
Seungcheol runs to his father with the intention of doing something unspeakable but he stops right in front of him and collapses on the ground.
"How could you do this?", he sobs uncontrollably, "How could you stoop so low?", he balls his hands into fists and channels the anger on the floor, hitting it again and again that's when his mother steps in to stop him.
He looks at her and say, "How could you not tell me? How could you tolerate your husband even after knowing all this?", he then swats her away.
Getting up, he's gasping for air, unable to comprehend with the pain in his chest and head. Restlessness engulfs him but he doesn't let both of his parents to even touch him.
"I'm ashamed to call you both my parents.", he spats out, "I'll never forgive for ruining our lives. I hope all of this was worth it."
Then he's running out of the house ignoring the calls of his name. Wonwoo is immediately grabbing his friend, making him sit and drink water.
"You also knew but didn't tell me?", Seungcheol asks as fresh tears stream down his face.
"I only came to know recently and Cheol even if I had known, it's not my story to tell.", Wonwoo answers.
It takes Seungcheol over an hour to calm down.
"You don't need to attend me, I'm fine.", Seungcheol says stoicly, "You can go, I have somethings to take care of."
Though Wonwoo refutes but Seungcheol is adamant, leaving no choice for him but to obey his boss.
As soon as Wonwoo gets out of the car, Seungcheol drives off.
You are extremely tired, mentally and today for some reasons are you feel thinned out physically as well.
Staring at the cello, ominous thoughts fill in your mind. Because no matter how hard you try, you are unable to produce anything. There are no notes or no tunes, it's all blank.
And you're scared, what if music doesn't choose you anymore? What if you can't produce anything for the rest of your life? All these possibilities scares you enough to spend sleepless nights. It has disturbed your appetite as well.
Tossing and turning, as you've been doing for nights with minimal sleep at dawn hours, you sit up startled when the doorbell rings.
All the exhaustion is now replaced with concern when you see Seungcheol who continuously weeps at the door.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
Just a shake of head and he keeps on crying.
It's been about twenty minutes since he arrived crying and you're seriously considering about calling Wonwoo.
The way he's visibly hurting, hurts you too and you resort to hug him, patting his back, "If you're hurting because of me, please don't.", you say softly, tears pricking at your eyes subconsciously.
Seungcheol pulls away, looking at you. His sobs stop and the first thing he does is hold your face and kiss you. You're surprised, his lips graze yours but you don't kiss him back. Your hands push his chest and he's detaching himself mumbling a string of apologies.
"It was all for nothing.", he sounds so heartbroken when he speaks, "All those years spent in pain, hatred and resentment towards you, you didn't deserve any of it."
You have an inkling and it doesn't settle well in your bones, "Whatever you're saying is making no sense. Why are you here?"
Seungcheol looks dead in your eyes, "Because I know now. I know what happened all those years ago."
Your soul leaves your body at his words. You never wanted him to find out because you knew it'd tear him apart.
"W-Who told you?"
"Does it matter?"
And your very first instinct is to grab your phone and make a call to his father but Seungcheol doesn't let you. The phone gets snatched from your hands and thrown away somewhere.
"Why did you do it?", he asks and his questions irks you.
You scoff, "Are you seriously asking me why I did it after knowing everything? Seungcheol, I was threatened with my brother's life, what did you expect me to do?"
Seungcheol shakes his head, "No that Y/N. Why did you make dad promise you about not telling me about this?"
"What could I have done Seungcheol?", your voice cracks, "I loved you so much and trust me, I tried everything I could to be with you, to not hurt you but-- it killed me to lie to you. I went through hell and back trying to stop myself from telling you 'no I'm lying, please don't leave, I love you as much as you do'.
"That day I took your heart away.", You exhale sharply, "I didn't want to crush your soul as well, didn't want to make it anymore difficult for you then it already was. I knew how much you looked upto your father, how much you cherished your parents. I didn't want you to fight your family", your heart twinges as you continue, "Though it wasn't possible for me to love again, I prayed that you would move on, meet someone who'd make you forget all the sorrows I gave you. I wished for you to fall in love again and live happily."
You chuckled through your tears, "Won't lie, it would have hurt me but if it assured your happiness I'd have hurt myself all over again, all of the times."
Seungcheol observes you quietly, he absorbs your words to his heart.
"What does that make me, Y/N?", he asks defeated.
"You weren't at fault, Cheol. I chose what it seemed the best for all of us."
"I hated you, married you and plotted revenge. Hurt you and now indirectly lead to something that almost ruined your career.", he speaks as if he's narrating a monologue, "I kept wounding the wounded and siding with the foes."
"Stop blaming yourself. What you did was indeed wrong, you should have never attempted take a blow at my career. But years ago, even after all that you were ready to start again.", you remind him.
Seungcheol completely shuts himself out.
"Till yesterday, I was in a dilemma. They say if you love someone you should let them go. Call me selfish but I couldn't even think of parting ways with you. I wanted to fight for us. I'd have courted you until you got bored of me. I would have waited for a lifetime, even if you'd have moved on.", he avoids eye contact so that his resolution doesn't deter, "But how could I tie you to the people who tried to harm you, harm your family?"
"I won't beg for forgiveness anymore. Honestly, I don't want you to forgive us. If you're having second thoughts about us, discard them. Please just discard me.", he voices out in desperation, "Be selfish and choose yourself this one time."
He takes out a paper from his coat pocket which you recognise very well.
"Till yesterday signing these papers seemed impossible for me but it's surprising, how events turned out to be.", he takes your hand and places the paper saying, "I have signed them. This time I chose what's best for you."
There's a sickening churn in your stomach that makes you realise that there's nothing you can do.
"I love you, Y/N."
The weight of those words fall heavy on you as Seungcheol closes in.
"For one last time, please.", he says holding your face.
You incline towards him and instantly his lips are on yours. One of his hands now settle on your neck firmly as your lips dance on featherly. His other hand is gripping your waist to hold you in place. The saltiness of his tears burn on your tongue, making you suck in a gasp. His kisses you till his heart's content because it's a kiss of goodbye before resting his forehead on yours.
"Don't go", your strained voice whispers, "Please don't go."
Seungcheol whispers back, "I have to. Please don't stop me, I'm not strong enough to refuse you."
The tears stream down your face, "Would nothing I do be enough to stop you?"
"Y/N, please", he pleads, "You were right when you said we're not meant to be because I have only hurt you. I don't deserve you."
"Cheol..."
He steps back and you're suddenly engulfed by coldness.
"The chapter named Choi Seungcheol in your life ends right now.", he balls his hands, grits his teeth, does everything to not let those tears spill, "Since you might not submit the divorce papers, I have already handed over a copy to your attorney."
He turns back, rubbing his chest, the pain is unbearable.
"Cheol, please..."
"It's snowing so don't follow me outside, you'll catch a cold. Goodbye Y/N."
Then he leaves, from your house, apparently from your life.
And you realised not all stories have a happy ending, there's not always a happily ever after.
→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️
#withering for you#seungcheol#choi seungcheol#scoups fluff#Scoups#scoups scenarios#seventeen#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt au#seventeen au#seventeen fanfic#seungcheol scenarios#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol smut#seungcheol imagines#scoups x reader#scoups smut#scoups angst#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#svt angst#svt fluff#svt smut#svt fanfic#svt fic#svt seungcheol#seungcheol x y/n
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Club Lights - Lando Norris x Reader
fluff, ¿angst?
approx 1200 words
READER IS FROM MANCHESTER + FRIENDS WITH ANGRY GINGE
warnings: mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of kissing and sex- nothing 18+. I tried to use more speech :s
lando norris masterlist - here. f1 masterlist - here.
Lando was streaming fortnite with Morgan (AngryGinge), Max (F), and Filly, when he said something that caused more than laughter from Morgans end of the call.
“Y/n, god bless her heart, is not my girlfriend.” Ginge had to quickly say before any misconceptions were thought.
“But- I- You were linking arms all throughout the time you were in Monaco?” Lando replied, a look of confusion and disbelief on his face. “Prove she isn’t. Call her right now!”
Ginge simply shrugged and grabbed his phone, scrolling his contacts and landing on you.
It rung twice before your voice- on speaker- was played down Morgan’s mic.
“What do you want?”
“Fuck me, wanna be a bit nicer.”
“No, not really…” There was a pause where no one said anything, “Well what do you want, Morgan? I am busy!”
“I love you,” He was trying to bait you.
You laughed loudly- so loud the mic cut out a few times- “Have you drank? Call your girlfriend not me!” You chuckled before hanging up on him.
Ginge stared blankly at his camera, knowing Lando was watching. “Was that enough proof, Lando?”
Lando ignored him, although very satisfied, “So~ Who’s your girlfriend Ginge?”
—
A few weeks later, Morgan extended another invitation to Monaco, which you eagerly accepted, thrilled at the prospect of a free trip. Upon meeting up at Manchester Airport, Morgan was relentless with his vlogging, capturing every moment up close—from your reunion at the terminal, to boarding the plane, takeoff, the in-flight experience, landing, and even baggage claim. Every opportunity he had, his camera was practically shoved up your nose.
When Lando arrived to pick you both up, Max was also recording, documenting Lando for his own channel. It was impossible to miss—especially for you—the way Lando looked at you with literal heart-eyes as you stepped out of the Nice-Côte d’Azur airport in the south of France.
"Good morning!" you cheerfully greeted, pulling your suitcase behind you with a coffee in hand.
Lando could barely muster a response, causing Max to chuckle behind the camera. Lando's attention was entirely on you during the drive to the hotel, to the point where he nearly crashed.
Your hotel room was charming, featuring a large bed, a stylish bathroom with a huge mirror, and a lovely view of the Monaco streets.
Unsurprisingly, Lando was quick to offer his assistance, suggesting he come up to your room to "help unpack and whatever."
You smiled gratefully as Lando heaved your 15kg case up the flight of stairs to your room, his muscles straining with the effort. "Thanks, Lan," you said, flashing him a warm smile. "I really appreciate it."
"It's nothing, I'd do it all over again for you," he replied, a deep blush creeping up his neck. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, "You don't have a boyfriend, right?"
You shook your head, no, and a heavy silence settled between you, tinged with disappointment that he didn't continue to speak.
Lando began helping you put your clothes into the wardrobe, his hands moving deftly until he reached your underwear. Suddenly, he seemed paralyzed, his eyes darting around the room, trying to look anywhere but at the intimate garments.
"Lando, I googled you. I know you're not shy about seeing people's underwear," you teased, a playful glint in your eye.
"Hey!" he retorted, his face flushing even redder. "You shouldn't believe everything you see!"
You gave him a pointed look. "You believed I was sleeping with Morgan..."
He huffed in frustration. "Rightly so... I mean I would—" He abruptly stopped, his words hanging in the air.
"What, you'd sleep with Morgan?" you laughed, but the humor faded as you saw the mortified expression on his face. Lando looked utterly flustered, as if he wished the ground would swallow him whole.
You stopped laughing, suddenly aware of the tension. His eyes were wide, nervous, and embarrassed, almost traumatized by what he had just admitted... out loud... in front of the girl he was clearly talking about.
"Oh, right," you said, your voice trailing off. You knew exactly what you wanted to say, but the words caught in your throat. You desperately wanted to kiss him right then and there.
"I—sorry—erm," he stammered, his voice shaky. "I'll talk to you later."
He moved faster than the cars he drove, practically fleeing from your hotel room, leaving you standing there with your heart racing and your mind spinning.
Later that night, Morgan waited outside your door, poised to dive into the allure of Monegasque nightclubs. You adorned a stunning, shimmering top paired with elegant black trousers, exuding understated glamour. Sharing an Uber, the anticipation built, though Lando was initially nowhere to be found. However, Max had secured a booth, complete with a large pitcher of an enticing orange cocktail, surrounded by a few unfamiliar faces.
One drink in, Lando sauntered over and playfully collapsed into the booth beside you. His hair, slightly tousled, added to his charming dishevelment. Clad in a simple jean-top combo and a watch that undoubtedly cost more than your annual rent, he exuded effortless style. The club thrummed with energy, the pulsating strobe lights and the dance-club remix of Nelly Furtado's "Say It Right" filling the air.
Lando's drunken smile was captivating, his eyes locked onto yours, his skin aglow under the club lights, making him look irresistibly beautiful. "Hi," he murmured dreamily, patting your thigh a few times before resting his hand there.
"Y'alright, Lan?" you asked, amused.
"Y'alright!" he mimicked with a laugh. "I love your voice, your accent, and your face. Such a beautiful face," he slurred.
You laughed, "How many drinks have you had?"
He widened his eyes in response, silently conveying the answer: "a lot."
While the table engaged in lively conversation, Lando's attention remained on you, murmuring your name just to gaze into your eyes, often letting his eyes drift to your lips.
"Why don't you like me?" he suddenly whispered in your ear, his face inches from yours.
"I like you," you replied, confused. He frowned, indicating that wasn't what he meant. "Yeah, I like-like you. I've never said I didn't."
"Like... like you'd hold hands and kiss me?"
You smiled, "Ask me when you're sober."
The next day, you woke with only a slight nausea, the remnants of the night before. As you stepped out of the shower and dressed for the day's filming, a knock echoed through the hotel. Opening the door, you found Lando, holding a bouquet of lilies, a bright smile on his face.
"What are you doing—and how are you not hungover?" you asked, surprised.
"I drink green smoothies... Anyway, I'm here to officially ask you on a real date," he declared, "with me. Right now."
Taking the lilies from his outstretched hands, you nodded. "Yeah—let me dry my hair first, bu—"
Before you could finish, Lando grabbed your wrist, pulling you out of the room, quickly snatching your keycard from the table and shutting the door behind you. "You look beautiful, and I cannot wait any longer to not see you on a date with me. So, we are leaving. Now."
You groaned, feeling the damp ends of your hair.
"Lando!"
#f1#norris#f1 fic#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris smut#lando#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 fluff#oscar piastri#mclaren#mclaren f1#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#mclaren formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula one#f1 one shot#f1 edit#fluff#angry ginge#angryginge13
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“If they call me a slut, you know it might be worth if for once”
Lewis Hamilton x singer!reader
SMAU
yourusername
liked by lewishamilton, user1, y/nhq, and 402,038 others
yourusername: my muse <3
tagged lewishamilton
lewishamilton its an honor love
user1 when will I find someone to call me love
lando.jpg your own jpg account when??
yourusername I'll stick to my day job
user2 anybody else bothered by how quickly she goes from man to man
user3 right? like I swear she's had about 7 "muses" in the past 3 years
user4 she's literally done nothing wrong?? how dare a women date more than 1 person in her life??
carlossainz55 so new music when?
Charles_leclerc the Ferrari playlist needs an update
yourusername update loading 🔄
user5 oh please be a new album!!
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lewishamilton
liked by roscoovescoco, yourusername, user6, and 183,829 others
lewishamilton: race weekend with my loves
tagged: mercadesamgf1, roscoelovescoco, yourusername
landonorris interesting order
yourusername we all know Roscoe is the real star here
roscoelovescoco listen to the lady 🙌
mercadesmhf1 we love having the Hamilton family in the paddock
yourusername ahhh love to be there!!
lewishamilton 💚
georgerussell63 always a good time with these two in the house
yourusername ahhhh Georgie 🫶🫶
user1 "Georgie" 🥹😭
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tmz_offical
liked by user9, user1, user3, and 937,273 others
tmz_offical: just days after the end of the season, f1 driver Lewis Hamilton is spotted out with young girlfriend Y/n L/n. The couple is notorious for keeping their privacy, making paparazzi pictures a rare instance. Click the link in our bio to see what else was taken during their night out on the town.
tagged lewishamilton, yourusername
user1 no wonder they keep private, I would too if ended up trapped in a relationship with a slut like her
user2 didn't she and Dylan O'Brian break up right before they got together? Didn't think he rebound guy would last this long
user3 I could never imagine dating someone that much older than me
user4 fr someone tell her to take it down a notch, her sluttiness is showing
User8 the one sided hate is mid boggling
user5 the negativity is DEFINING
user6 right, y'all can't stand to see a women happy, healthy, and unbothered
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y/nupdates
liked by lewishamilton, user5, user9, and 749,934 more
y/nupdates: Y/n seen outside the studio with her producer after radio silence all winter!!
tagged yourusername
user1 she's cooking
user2 she's entering her reputation era I can feel it
user3 fr, after that one tmz post blows up and her comments are flooded with negativity, she locked herself away with her love, and is now seen for the first time in awhile leaving the studio
user4 I CANT HANDLE THIS RN
user5 not the slut trying for a comeback
user6 how about you lead by example? Leave and don't come back 🫶
user8 you know the records gonna slap when @/producer sprinkled her magic
user9 I need them and Taylor+Jack to release something
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yourusername
liked by user5, lewishamilton, y/nhq, and 394,028 others
yourusername: "Slut!" out now on all streaming platforms!! The rest of the album, "Amor Omnia Vincit" out this Friday!
when I originally sat down to create this new album I didn't image I'd write half the songs that made the final cut, but I did. This has been a very therapeutic experience for me.
Thank you to this album, my amazing team, and my lovely muse for keeping me going in the difficult time <3
tagged: y/nhq
lewishamilton you are so Shawn Hunter coded
lewishamilton I love you dear
yourusername I love you too darling
user1 they are so domestic I'm crying 🤭😭
user2 lets all start a thread of our fav lyrics from "Slut!"
user3 "if I'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us" WE KNOW THIS COUPLE ALWAYS BRING FIRE FITS
user4 very obvious but "if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once," just hits so hard, like this is an issue she's dealt with for so long but Lewis makes it all better bc their relationship trumps everything
user5 piggy backing off of @/user4 's reasoning, "the sticks and stones they throw froze mid air"
user6 "IN A WORLD OF BOYS HES A GENTLEMAN" 🔛🔝
user7 I'm still not very her admitting that all the negavity around her dating has affected her so bad that she told Lewis "I said it might blow up in your pretty face"
scuderiaferarri we will not apologize for the people we'll become when this drops ‼️
Charles_leclerc we've always been #1 y/n stans
lewishamilton you red fuckers can take two steps back that's my title
carlossainz55 I thought you were her muse?
lewishamilton I'm both
user8 ok possessive king
youruserame for me and me only 🥰
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lewishamilton
liked by georgerussell64, your username, user1, and 789,739 others
lewishamilton: SO, SO, SO PROUD OF YOU LOVE!! Watching you work through a rough patch with such grace was beautiful. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of it and listen to these songs+more. I'll be your muse forever if you'll have me <3
tagged yourusername, y/nhq
yourusername forever and always <3
lewishamilton <3
user1 that water look very ~aquamarine~ to anyone
user2 he def knew what he was doing
lewishamilton I had a message to send 🤷🏾♂️
user2 LMAOOO HES SO PETTY
yourusername sassy man epidemic isn't a joke
user3 I love that she left like people wanted and wrote a whole song to shut down the hater but also put her and Lewis's relationship on the pedestal it deserves
producer such a sweet album!! Some of the best love songs out there!!
Charles_leclerc Vigilante Shit is my new pre-prix anthem
yourusername watch out @/maxverstappen1
maxverstappen this is where the dutch anthem falls silent 😔
carlossainz55 wasn't ready for Dress
yourusername but...
carlossainz55 its my fav
user4 I love that lewis posted for the whole album when Y/n didn't, but she's replying to comments in his section when he isn't
user5 they really are made for each other huh
roscoelovescoco amazing work mom!!
user5 I will never get over the mom
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, Charles_leclerc, user5, and 937,039 others
yourusername: surprise!! Since this album taught me what it was like to write and create in such an intamate space with very few people/outide influence I wanted to celebrate it with 3 small shows in Monaco, London, and Ottawa!
tickets on sale at 12 pm eastern this friday, see ya then ;)
tagged y/nhq
landonorris do friends get discounts??
yourusername everyone on the grid plus any serious significant others get VIP entry courtesy of me and my team 💖😘
y/nhq we'll be reaching out soon to select the show
lilymhe you don't understand how excited this makes me!!
yourusername well I couldn’t celebrate without my girls (and their men too ig 🙄🤚)
oscarpiastri thanks a lot y/n
alexalbon anybody else feeling loved??
lewishamilton completely 🫶
user1 this will start world war 3 I can feel it
user2 this is the eras tour all over again
user3 except that was selling stadiums, these are small venues
user4 any f1 driver want to link up for a show?? you'll never have to speak to me ever again
user5 I regret to inform you babe, but I think this is the reason she said serious significant others...
user6 official tour soon?? Please mother??
yourusername oh so very soon...
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lewishamilton
liked by your username, georgerussel64, landonorris, and 379,268 others
lewishamilton "got lovestruck went straight to my head" <3
tagged yourusername
user1 crying throwing up
user2 quoting her song?? that's about him?? I'll be resting my eyes on the highway if anybody needs me
user3 my toaster looks like a fun bath bomb
yourusername "got lovesick all over my bed" <3
landonorris beautiful show, beautiful couple 🧡
yourusername 🧡
scuderiaferrari maybe we're colorblind but that doesn't look like Mercedes green
mercadesamgf1 watch your back
georgerussell64 👀
georgerussell64 slayed so hard
yourusername an honor from the meme king?? I'm not worthy
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yourusername
liked by Charles_leclerc, user9, lewishamilton, and 930,393 others
yourusername thank you to everyone who came out to a show this weekend!! I had a blast sining new stuff, covers, and old pieces with you all- the love I experienced was unreal!! I cannot wait to see what happens in the future 💖
To all those close to me, our relationships mean the absolute world!! Special love to Lewis who held my hand through my darkest time, showed me what a true relationship was, and gave me a perfect little boy (I love you Roscoe). Darling, its been a wonderful experience being with you <3
tagged y/nhq, landojpg
lewishamilton love you so much angel <3
georgerussell64 definitely gave me and Carmen the night of our lives!!
alexalbon the show was so amazing I almost forgot you flirted with my gf in the invitation
yourusername stay mad
lilymhe 🥵
Roscoelovescoco can I come next time??
yourusername I'll see what I can do...
landjpg thank you for photo creddits and well as the opportunity to photograph these unique shows
yourusername you didn't not dissapoint 👏👏 thank you for doing it
Charles_leclerc I had an amazing time!!!
carlossainze55 you should hear him try to speak, voice complelty gone
yourusername that's the kind of energy we all need
comments have been limited
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton smau#Lewis Hamilton x reader#mercades imagine#mercades x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#f1 imagines#formula 1 imagines#roscoe hamilton
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oh my god,,,, gurl!!!! THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT fic is sooo good 😫 my heart literally breaks every time I read this story. Thank you for blessing us with this masterpiece <3
THE CUSTOMER'S ALWAYS RIGHT | square one
summary: eddie makes a confession that's been weighing heavy on his heart. you realize that your future with him is haunted by ghosts from your past. pairing: virgin!eddie munson / f!reader word count: 16.3k warnings: hopper, steve, and robin being the reader defense squad, hints at reader's previously poor mental health, mentions of abusive and toxic relationships, a banshees of inisherin quote, b*lly h*rgrove because he needs a warning. (pretend any typos don't exist pls and thank u!) a/n: guess who's back, back again? ✨✨ i'd apologize for disappearing for a month, but then there'd be apologies in all my notes, so just know that i'm sorry every time i disappear unexpectedly, okay? 🥲 thanks for being so patient! please enjoy this long-awaited installment of tcar ily <3
( PREVIOUSLY ) | ( SERIES MASTERLIST ) | ( NEXT )
Eddie’s got a 1986 Van Halen tape in his boombox and a baby pink heart stitched into the fabric of his shirt. He’s the least metal he’s ever been, but he couldn’t be happier.
You keep your promise to him to patch up his torn Hellfire tee. If anything, you use the absentminded assurance as your excuse to see him again. The night you shared before, all but baring your scarred souls underneath glittering stars and streams of pale moonlight, hadn’t satiated your hunger for him. Eddie left you craving in a way you weren’t used to before — a yearning to be close to him that went beyond the boundaries of physical intimacy.
It was a simple sort of longing. It was a homesickness. A sense of nostalgia for a love you’d never felt before.
You wish you could wear Eddie’s adoration for you like a blanket, wrap yourself in the hand-stitched quilt of many colors and bundle it tighter around your shoulders when the cold comes. You want his softness to hold you in a way you’ve never been able to hold yourself.
You feel swaddled in it, succumbed and cloaked and at peace in all his tenderness. You’ve never been so at ease, so blissfully comforted by the presence of another human being. And Eddie feels all of that, every ounce of warmth you feel, because it pours out of you like rays of sunshine and bathes him in shades of gold.
He didn’t think you could get any softer than you had been that night at Skull Rock, until you were nestled in his unmade bed the next morning. You curled your legs underneath you as you weaved the needle and thread through the tear in his t-shirt, eyes squinted and tongue poking out the side of your mouth in an astute concentration.
All of the sudden, you were marshmallow fluff and honey on toast — made of all things sickly sweet that made his stomach feel suddenly full.
You finish mending the rip in record time and beam when he wears the heart-shaped stitching with pride. The rest of the day thereafter was spent in the tiny confines of his one hundred square-inch bedroom. From there, the both of you came to the silent understanding that you didn't want to spend another day apart.
The weekend had given you a limited sort of freedom, allowed you to pretend that you lived in a world with no responsibilities or anything other than Eddie Eddie Eddie, but adulthood made you no such promises. He had a side job to do to keep himself afloat, and you had a cat that thought it was the end of the world anytime you were gone for longer than a night. Both of those things together meant that the eve of parting was ultimately inevitable.
Every second you spent away from Eddie felt like you were grieving.
You mourned for him in the darkness of your apartment and tried to pretend you weren’t half a person in the cat food aisle at Melvald’s.
You tried to lessen the unbearable distance with phone calls, though it didn’t come nearly as close as feeling his fingers thrumming imaginary beats on your thigh or his heartbeat thudding against your ear.
But his voice filled the emptiness of your one-bedroom apartment and the Eddie Munson shaped hole he’d left just behind your ribcage, and that was good enough for you.
When you weren’t with him, you were roaming around your apartment like some kind of ghost, with the phone tucked between your ear and shoulder and the rotary clutched in your free hand.
You cook yourself dinner with him ranting about his day in your ear. You hold the receiver closer to Bowie and force him to hear her purr when she’s being exceptionally cute. He falls asleep some hours later to the sound of your soft snores, and you wake up the next morning to the sounds of his.
It was pathetic, truly.
You’d be gagging at how sweet it was if it wasn’t happening to you.
But it was.
Every ounce of this sticky sweet goodness was yours, and it tasted just like honey on your tongue.
It was the honeymoon stage times a thousand, all rose-colored and reflecting light — your own personal utopia. It brought with it a heavenly sort of refuge, a bubble of peace you never wanted to pierce.
Eddie basks in the serenity of it all when he finally has you with him again. You’re in his lap, on his lips, and all over him, but it still isn’t quite close enough. He doesn’t think he’ll be satisfied until you’ve successfully melted with him and your limbs have entwined with his like tree roots, destined to remain that way for the next couple of centuries or so.
And it’s weird because he could hardly handle living in such a tiny trailer with Wayne, let alone stomach more than a couple hours with the guys from Hellfire all in one place. But you? You entered his life all at once and now he can’t remember what it was like without you.
He doesn’t particularly want to, if he’s being real honest.
It’s why he’s always less enthused about letting you leave when you’ve both got responsibilities dragging you apart. He begs you to stay with him a few hours more, pleads for you to stick around while he makes a quick deal or an emergency pick-up when Dustin Henderson calls and says he needs a ride.
And you promise you’ll wait on him there, because he makes it virtually impossible to say no to his rosy pouted lips and chocolate syrup puppy dog eyes.
That’s when you run into Wayne for the first time, when Eddie’s out and you’re making breakfast for when he comes back.
French toast and scrambled eggs sizzle on the stove and warm the kitchen with all its cinnamon confections. It makes the man’s face screw up in confusion when he steps inside the trailer because he’s never known Eddie to cook a day in his life. And then his eyes find you — a young, pretty girl all alone in his kitchen with his nephew’s van gone from the drive.
“…Who the hell are you?” he wonders gruffly and pops a cigarette between his lips, totally unbothered.
He’s got no reason to be intimidated by the stranger in his trailer. He’s more confused than anything else, and he’s got this contorted look on his face like he’s blaming the exhaustion from the graveyard shift for his vision of you.
“Oh— my god,” you mumble through the mouthful of whipped cream you’d squeezed into your mouth moments prior. You fight to swallow it all down. “Uh. Hi. I’m, um… I’m Eddie’s... girlfriend?”
It sounds like you’re lying.
In some ways, it feels like you are.
You’ve been spending more time in his trailer than in your own home, but it’s not like either of you has motioned to make anything official just yet.
He eyes you with a tired and heavy gaze, eyes as dark and as infinite as Eddie’s. The man gives you a once-over and then chuckles lowly to himself as he tosses his corduroy jacket onto the back of the recliner and his tin lunchbox to the coffee table.
You shift awkwardly on the other side of the room. “…What is it?”
“When Eddie said he was talkin’ to a pretty girl on the phone every night, I thought he was lyin’,” he admits through hearty chuckles.
It makes you laugh too.
There’s little talking after the fact, besides you offering him some of the breakfast on the stove and him joking that you should come around more often.
You recount the story to Eddie when he returns, utterly mortified about the whole thing. You’re even more embarrassed when the boy finds amusement in your horror and starts to chuckle to himself — not exactly at you, but not with you either.
He laughs louder when you swat at him for it. You clamber on top of him, mattress squeaking mattress under your weight, as you demand him to stop through giggles of your own.
Somewhere down the line, both of you stop caring.
Neither of you is quite sure where the conversation stopped and ended, only that when you started kissing, you couldn’t stop.
They weren’t innocent little pecks, but they weren’t sloppy and full of tongue either. You press your lips together with the intent of being as close as you can to the other, like you haven’t spent every second you could together.
Neither of you will be satisfied until you’ve swallowed each other whole.
And you, you’ve got this ache for him. A swirling of want that’s constantly rippling in your belly for this boy. He’s just not usually under you when it’s happening — and now that he is, the crackling embers have burst into white and blue flames behind your sternum.
Your lips click each time you part, a lewd noise you never want to stop hearing. The sound of it gives you goosebumps, like a good song you’ve just heard on the radio. You wonder if Eddie can feel them as his hands start to creep up beneath your shirt and find purchase along your waist.
You open his mouth with your own and sneak your tongue inside just as you roll your hips over his lap.
It’s the most forthcoming either of you had been in your three-day stint of nonstop talking. Even when you were over at the trailer, totally alone and pressed underneath him, it was otherwise completely innocent. You just make out like a couple of teenagers until one of you wants to make a food run or offers to roll a joint.
And you like that. You like that he doesn’t expect anything from you, but it does get a little agonizing when you’ve tried every attempt to give yourself to him and he just won’t take it.
Like usual, Eddie tenses when he feels you grinding on top of him — partly because he feels a tingle at the base of his spine when he gets instantly half-hard, but mostly because he knows there’s nothing he can do about it.
He keeps preaching to himself it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time — but he’s got no idea when it’ll ever be the right time, if it’ll ever be the right time, or if he’ll know it when it comes.
Because he’s had you to himself for days now — no Wayne, no responsibilities, no pressure — with his tongue rutting against yours and your hands fidgeting with the metal buttons of his jeans, and it still doesn’t feel good enough. Eddie doesn’t feel good enough.
He’s not sure if he ever will.
And it’s not you. God, it’s the farthest thing from you. As far as Eddie’s concerned, he’s never had more fun with anyone else. He’s never laughed harder with anyone else. He’s never felt as comfortable with anyone as he’s starting to feel around you. So he’s not entirely sure why he finds the rest of it so hard.
Eddie wants you so bad that the ache of all his yearning is palpable. It’s like the weight of it is what’s keeping him from you — unstoppable force, immovable object, blah, blah, blah.
Either way, it leaves him entirely unable to take things further with you, however much he wants to. There’s something in his way and it’s him.
Your heartache is his own when he has to pull away from you.
“You okay?” you ask him with wide eyes and swollen lips, always so concerned for him.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” he’s quick to assure you. He’s still breathless when he fidgets beneath you, trying to prop himself up on his headboard without rubbing his half-hard cock against your thigh.
When he succeeds, he musters a smile that shakes at the edges. “It’s just… you know, not everything… It doesn’t have to be about sex, you know?”
He makes himself as soft as possible for you when he says this. He gets rid of all the usual teasing lilts that tend to lurk on his tongue as the words spill from his mouth. The last thing he wants to do is hurt your feelings or, in some roundabout way, make you think you’re the problem.
He just wants you to know that that isn’t why he’s been wanting to spend so much time with you. There was never an ulterior motive with him other than all the adoration he holds in his hands and his mouth for you.
The strike of hurt that flashes across your face is obvious to only Eddie, who’s spent enough time mapping out your features to know what twitches are ones of discontent. The slight frown that dips between your brows when they scrunch together for half a second comes like a stroke of lightning. It’s a brief flash of purple in the sky that leaves so quickly that it makes you wonder if it was ever there at all.
You fidget on his lap, not resting as comfortably upon him as you had been just moments before. “Oh…” you murmur through soft, jutted-out lips. “Sorry. I, I didn’t—”
“No, it’s not— that’s not what I—” he tries to assure over your insecure stammers, but succeeds only in tripping over himself in return. He cuts himself off with a breathy laugh, shaking his head while his fingers fidget on your hips. “That’s just not what this is about for me, you know? I just… I wanna spend time with you.”
It’s easily the softest thing he’s ever said to you — to anybody, for the matter — and the marshmallow sweetness of it all wraps around you like wisps of pink cotton candy.
Your apprehensiveness twists into something lighter, a pair of twinkling eyes and a bashful smile.
“Oh,” you hum again, obviously more pleased than before. “That’s nice…”
“No one’s ever said that to you before, have they?” Eddie asks you.
He tries to muster a crooked smirk as the words leave his mouth, but he’s got a feeling he already knows the answer. Hearing you affirm his suspicions will do nothing more than make him angry at all the assholes that had you before him, at everyone who taught you that you were good for sex and hardly a thing else.
It makes him wish that he’d gotten to know you sooner. Maybe then you’d understand that he’d be happy just holding you like this and never doing anything more.
You don’t answer him verbally, just shake your head with your lips pursed softly to the side. You look more innocent than anything he’s ever seen before, even with your lipstick smeared on your chin.
He’s still not quite sure how someone could be so reckless with such a fragile thing — to watch you break and not spend the rest of time grieving to know that you’ll never be quite the same again.
There’s a primal instinct that swims in him then, an urge to keep you in his arms and locked in the confines of his trailer forever and ever. He wants to keep the wolves of Hawkins, Indiana from ever getting a whiff of you again. It’d be more than they deserved, anyway.
“God, you have got to get better boyfriends, sweetheart,” Eddie tells you with a playful lilt in his voice despite the anger simmering in his belly.
“Isn’t that what you are?” you giggle.
His world stops.
“Huh?”
You tense at his tenseness. Only when he’s gaping at you does the weight of your words dawn on you. “…Huh?”
The awkward moment goes as quickly as it arrives, chased out by the fit of laughter the two of you are quickly thrown into. Your entwining chuckles rise like smoke in his tiny bedroom and then settle back over you like a fuzzy blanket.
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, babe?” Eddie teases.
“Of course not,” you scoff. “Babe.”
“Oh, right, of course not. That would be way too crazy considering we’ve spent, like, every day together and have made each other come… what is it now? Twice?”
“Three times for me,” you correct with you a smile. “You need to catch up, Eddie Spaghetti.”
“Another time?” he offers with a scrunched nose.
“Whenever you want.”
Eddie is grateful for your lack of urgency, even more so for the kiss you press to the tip of his nose.
You peck him on the lips after — once, twice, and then a thiiird, drawn out time — before moving on to his chin and jaw and neck. Whatever part of him you can reach (which is just about everywhere, considering the vantage point you’ve got sitting on his lap), you sprinkle a kiss to it.
It’s an innocent sort of affection, the kind that makes him wonder how it ever came to be in the first place. What evolutionary measures led to this, to you pressing your lips to his skin to show how much you care about him? Eddie doesn’t really want to know the answer, he’s just grateful that it happened in the first place.
You’re so good at it, loving on him. You’re always so kind and so gentle in your way and it makes him feel guilty. There’s a lingering feeling of undeservedness that settles something heavy at the base of his stomach. How could he ever expect you to be so open with him when he hasn’t done the same for you?
A heavy sigh rattles in his deflating chest.
“I gotta tell you something, sweetheart,” he cautions when your lips smack against the thrumming pulse below the left side of his jaw. “Something you’re not gonna like…”
A billion things run through your head all at once. When you part from him, he can see the rollercoaster of emotions each one of them puts you through.
Your first instinct is that he’s got some kind of partner he’s kept hidden from you until now. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve gone steady with a guy who’s then told you about some other girlfriend he had — or, god forbid, a wife.
But then you realize that you surely would’ve had some sort of inkling if that were the case. There’s no way Eddie would’ve been able to spend every second of his day with you — and then another several hours on the phone when you had to leave — without someone else coming along to burst your bubble.
And so far, there haven’t been any angry wives, just the occasionally confused Uncle Wayne.
Then you start thinking he’s about to tell you he wants an open relationship. The you’re great, but I’m just not ready to settle down yet spiel that you’ve heard a thousand times before. Usually when people say that, they mean that they just don’t want to settle down with you.
You’ll become some douchebag’s fuck toy for a month or more until the girl next door comes around. He gets her knocked up in record time, his family forces him to marry her, and they begin their cushy lives together in the center of some cul-de-sac — really settle down, as it were.
You’re not sure if you could take that from Eddie. You could grin and bear if it you had to, take whatever attention he’s willing to give you because who cares if he’s giving it to someone else on the side? You’re just not sure how long you’d last like that.
And then you start to worry that he’s just going to break up with you entirely — it’s not you, it’s blah, I’ll always care about blah, please don’t tell anyone about how we blah-ed. That whole talk.
All the rest of your worries stop mattering so much because you’ve only just called him your boyfriend. And here he goes, about to end it all before it can really even start. That’d be just your luck, you figure.
“Did I do something wrong?” you caution after a few moments of heavy silence.
Eddie’s bleeding heart wrenches at your words, at how sad they sound spilling from your mouth, and how you immediately think that it’s got something to do with you.
He shakes his head feverishly in response. “No. No, it’s not you. You’re… you’re perfect.”
“Okay…” you concede quietly, voice trembling with a lingering disbelief.
“I just… I haven’t been totally honest with you, you know?” the boy admits before his glimmering chocolate eyes fly open and he corrects himself quickly. “And I haven’t lied to you or anything. Not— Not exactly. I just… I wanna be honest with you… As your boyfriend and all.”
You can tell by the sudden weight in his voice that he’s serious. But the fine coat of glowing rose that splotches Eddie’s cheeks after calling himself your boyfriend for the first time makes you melt.
You smile to yourself and start to trace the heart you’d stitched into his t-shirt with your finger.
“Yeah. I mean, we are about to spend our two minutes anniversary together and everything.”
“Exactly,” the boy huffs out a laugh. It lacks its usual jest, though, because of the ice-cold anxiety that drenches him from head to toe and makes his hands and feet go numb.
His fingers tremble where the rest on your waist, trying and failing to find a comfortable position there because, right about now, Eddie feels the most awkward he’s ever felt.
“I just want you to know that I… I’ve never done this before,” he confesses quietly and with his eyes squeezed shut. He prays that he doesn’t have to be any less vague than that.
Your face twists in confusion — your brows furrow and your nose twitches and your head tilts to the side like a puppy. And then you’re laughing, a soft little thing of a giggle that normally makes his heart sing, though now he can only feel it breaking.
“What…?” he tries to scoff out his own chuckle. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because you’ve already told me that, dummy. That you’ve never felt this way before…” you answer, reciting his own words back to him. You haven’t yet forgotten how he’d looked at you as you said them, pale skin made silk under the moonlight while he sparkled beneath the beams of it and his love for you.
“No, it’s… it’s more than that,” he corrects. “I’ve never even had a girlfriend before you. Or anything really.”
You still don’t seem to understand. You just look on at him with uncertainty.
A quiet “okay?” tumbles from your mouth entwined with a nervous giggle, because you don’t understand what’s got him so somber. He’s never dated anyone, you’ve fucked half of Hawkins — these are just facts that went unsaid before now.
And maybe it’s because you’ve never been with a virgin before, but the thought that Eddie might be one hasn’t seemed to cross your mind at all.
It’s that exact thought that scares him.
Because if it hasn’t already, maybe it’s because you’re avoiding it altogether. And why would he ever be the exception?
He opts to bite the bullet and hopes that his heart doesn’t get broken after.
“I’m a virgin. Okay? I’m a complete, total, proper adult virgin,” he blurts with a brazenness he’d previously lacked when it came to all this. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now, but I didn’t, because I liked you and I was scared. So if you wanna yell at me or if you wanna break up with me before our five-minute anniversary, I totally get it, but I should probably let you know that it’ll rip my little virgin heart to shreds, so…”
Eddie ends his nervous ramble with a trembling, lopsided smile that does little to ease the leaden tension he’s just manufactured in the four walls of his bedroom.
He can’t seem to gauge your reaction after the fact, which is strange because he always knows what you’re thinking.
He knows when you’re laughing with him and not at him. You scrunch your nose and giggle when he tells you a funny joke, then tilt your head back and cackle when he trips over the punchline.
He knows the exact moment when something’s started to bother you — when you get real quiet in your bubble of reserved stillness and your eyes start to glaze over. To anyone else, it might just look like a person who’s keeping to themselves. Eddie’s starting to learn that usually means trouble when it comes to you.
He knows the difference between your gentle sort of sadness and when you’re damn near inconsolable. When you cried at the end of Stand By Me, you smiled at him with a glassy tear-filled gaze, then rolled your eyes when he tried to comfort you. The tears only spilled over when you laughed because Eddie pretended you’d hurt him when you’d shoved him away.
But when you’re really upset about something, you don’t show him at all — you fight to keep it all to yourself until you’ve squished the problem into a tiny enough ball that you can forget about all of it.
This is something different.
There’s too much crossing your mind all at once for him to get a good read of you.
You just gape at him, like you’re trying to figure out if he’s joking or not, and then fighting to understand what it means when you realize he’s being serious.
And just when you’ve started to wrap your head around it all, when your brain remembers how to make words again and you realize you haven’t said anything in several agonizing seconds, a foreign voice sounds from down the hallway.
Not foreign in that it was unfamiliar exactly, just foreign in that you and Eddie had spent so much time alone that you were starting to forget that there was an entire world outside of yourselves. A great big world, filled with a great many people, some of whom were your friends who tended to get pretty worried about you.
“Edward Wayne— why the hell is the Chief in my driveway?” his uncle curses from the living room, sounding like he’s speaking through a cigarette in his mouth.
Eddie himself is immediately freaking the fuck out because he figures he must’ve gotten tipped off again. He tries to calculate the quickest way to get you off of him and to all of his cubby holes full of miscellaneous drugs so he can flush them down the toilet before Jim Hopper busts the door down.
And even though you’re not the drug dealer who’s had cops on their ass since they were fifteen in this equation, you look a whole lot more terrified than Eddie does.
Your eyes go wide and the whites of them swim with terror as you launch yourself off of his lap. You don’t spare another glance back at him, not even when you nearly trip over yourself when you shove your sneakers on your feet and shuffle out of the room. He’s forced to follow behind you like a confused puppy as you bound through the trailer at lightning speed.
The haste of your movements startles even Wayne, who halts mid-puff of his cig when you’re in and out of the living room before he can blink. The opening squeak of the screen door and metal slamming against metal is the only thing that punctuates your exit.
“Would it kill you to answer your damn phone every once in a while?” the powerful timbre of Jim Hopper’s angry voice, of which only the man himself could pull off, is muffled until Eddie cautiously slinks onto the porch behind you.
He finds the chief standing beside the Cruiser he’s parked sideways. The door of it is still flung open. A distant beeping sounds from the ignition.
He’s still got on the pressed khakis of his uniform — complete with the golden badge pinned to his chest, darkened sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, and flat-brimmed hat on his head. Even with the majority of his face covered, it does little to hide the anger that radiates off of him like a hot stove eye.
You remain on the porch, shifting your weight on your feet at the top of the steps. “Okay, Hopper, just listen to me for a second—”
“Three days!” he shouts over you, not deterred by your composed nature. “I have been calling you… for three days! Seventy-two hours. No answer!”
Eddie decides to speak up from behind you despite his better judgment. “Yeah, uh, that was kinda my fault,” he confesses with an awkward laugh. “Wouldn’t let her hang up the phone—”
“I’ll deal with you in a second,” Jim interjects firmly and without thinking. He goes back to berating you with an admirable finesse. “Buckley wanted my head on a pike when I wouldn’t file a missing person’s report in the first twenty-four hours, but seventy-two? She was gonna kill me!”
Rather than argue with him, like every fiber of your being so desperately wants to, you make the difficult choice to concede with a heavy sigh. Because you don’t doubt that Robin was on his ass the second she realized you weren’t answering your phone or at your apartment when she and Steve dropped by.
She did tend to be on the overprotective side, after all, which obviously paired well with her melodramatic disposition.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’ve just been… busy.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard the one before,” the man answers bitterly.
“It’s different, Hopper!”
“I’ve heard the one before, too!”
Eddie can only assume that the both of you are communicating telepathically, what with the way your synchronized glares seem to say a thousand words (probably every curse imaginable, if he had to guess) without your mouths ever moving once.
He stands on the outskirts of it all, feeling a bit stuck in the thorniness of such a tense silence, like any slight movement might cut him.
Jim moves slowly, akin to a creeping snake, as his hands raise to remove the glasses from his face. Their lack reveals the ice-cold glare that was previously hiding beneath them.
“Get in the car—”
“—No,” you reject just as the direction leaves his mouth because you knew it was coming.
Jim inhales sharply and smacks his lips against his teeth, like a father whose child is most ardently testing his patience. He plants his work boot in the gravel and his hand on his hips. His steel gaze goes far off for a moment before flitting back to you again.
“…Get in the car or I put you in handcuffs.”
Your breath hitches at the threat. You squint over at him. “You wouldn’t.”
Jim smiles at you, but it’s more threatening than anything else. “We both know that I would.”
Eddie’s eyes flit between the both of you. He can tell that Hopper’s serious and that you’re trying to decide whether or not to call his bluff, with your arms crossed defensively over your chest and lips pursed in a tight line.
You ultimately decide not to. Because Hopper has, in fact, done that before. And even though the circumstances are very, very different, you wouldn’t put it past him to do it again. So you all but stomp your foot like a protesting child and spin on your heel to storm back inside the trailer.
Eddie’s nervous gaze flits between your disappearing form and the storm cloud of a police chief standing in his driveway. When their eyes lock, he realizes he should probably say something. He cocks his thumb over his shoulder and stammers, “I should— I should probably…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence. He catches the front door before it shuts and slithers through the crack of it to follow in behind you.
“Wait, was he— was he being serious about that?” Eddie wonders once you’re back in his bedroom.
It feels a lot less cozy than it did minutes before, less like the bubble of refuge that you thought nobody could pierce and more like a lonely space that feels entirely too empty. You pluck your things scattered around his room, and it starts to feel less and less like home with parts of you gone from it.
“I don’t know,” you answer within a sigh as you collect your cardigan from the back of his desk chair and shrug the thing back over your shoulders again.
“But it’s happened before?”
“Yeah. Once. When I was…” you confess quietly, then trail off. You get your bag from his nightstand and haphazardly shove your scrunchie, sunglasses, and chapstick into the bottom of it. “…When I was in a bad way— it doesn’t matter now.”
Eddie so desperately wants to pry.
He’d wanted to make a joke before, about the handcuffs — something less than tasteful about them and you and Hopper and some good ol’ freaky deaky that you'd scold him for after. But he decides not to now because you sound so strangely solemn about the whole thing, as though it was a story you buried deep with the intent of never bringing it up again.
“You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to, you know that, right?”
“Of course, I do,” you scoff at his worries, not nearly as threatened by Jim as the rest of Hawkins. You move to stand in front of him in the center of his room and meet his furrowed brows with a soft grin. “He’s not gonna do anything, he’s just pissed. He’ll berate me on the drive back to my apartment and then it’ll be like nothing ever happened.”
That seems to please Eddie well enough, though he’s still a bit disheartened at your leaving.
“I guess we couldn’t keep spending time together like this, huh?” he teases lightly, like the realization of it doesn’t make his chest ache. “Sorta forgot about the rest of the world… whatever that is.”
“It was fun while it lasted,” you tell him with a shrug and a whimsical sigh.
“Wait for me, will ya?” he jokes, if only to make you laugh and to feel like he’s stuck in some sickly sweet ending of a romcom for a couple moments more.
You roll your eyes at his dramatics but let him wrap you in his arms anyway. His hands find purchase on your elbows, thumbs rubbing soothingly along the outsides of them. “How about a kiss, then?” he offers when the urge to feel you because too great to bear. “For our ten-minute anniversary and all?”
“You never have to ask me, Eds,” you assure with a laugh. You rise to the tips of your toes and he meets you halfway.
Home is in your mouth. It’s warm and cozy and safe there. It’s easily the most familiar place he’s ever known, with your bottom lip nestled between his own. He feels homesick when you part from him.
“You’re not mad at me?” he wonders quietly, feeling a bit like a cowering child from where he stands in front ahead of you — eased only when you shake your head almost immediately in response.
“No. I couldn’t be even if I wanted to, I think.”
“Okay. That’s… That’s good.”
“We can talk about it later, if you want. After I get lurch off my ass.”
He tries not to smile too wide, but it’s hard not to beam every time he looks at you. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll… I’ll see you around, I guess?” he stumbles over himself, having forgotten how to say goodbye to you.
It’s equally as hard for you too, it seems, because you nod at him and turn to leave and then realize once you’re halfway down the hallway that you might not survive if you don’t kiss him again.
So you turn and rush back, catching Eddie with his back turned and spinning him around so you can peck him again. You feel his cheeks heat beneath your palm and his sigh against your cupid’s bow and his lips melt against your own.
You etch each tingling sensation into the edges of your mind in the hope that you won’t drive yourself completely insane when you inevitably start to miss him like crazy.
You focus on that and on him when you find Hopper and his stupid proud dad smirk. It’s the only reason you don’t punch him in the jaw and tuck and roll out of the Cruiser when the silence becomes so slowly insufferable.
You’re starting to think Jim left the radio off on purpose. You’ve never known the guy not to drive around without the strumming of an old-school folk song to accompany him. You figure it must be some sort of intimidation tactic, to make you so uncomfortable that you break. You’re a lot closer to that than either of you realize.
You spare a glance over at the man next to you. He hasn’t looked at you once since you get in the car. He’s got one hand at three o’clock on the steering wheel and the other with its elbow propped up on the door as he scratches at the stubble on his jaw.
He’s too at ease not to be bothered. This is obviously some kind of front he’s putting on to conceal his inner irritation.
You give on the lecture you’d been trying to prepare yourself for and exhale sharply through your nose. Your fingers fidget on your thighs as you kick your restless feet up on the console.
“Get your feet off the dash,” Jim scolds without missing a beat.
You huff and obey. “Okay, this is crazy— can’t you just yell at me already?”
He barely wastes a second.
“I cannot believe you right now!” he seethes through gritted teeth, stewing in a dad-like sort of anger.
“It was three days, Hopper!”
“You know what happened the last time no one heard from you for three days?” he shouts back.
You tip your head back against the seat and groan. You should’ve known he was going to play that card.
He waves an accusatory finger between the both of you. “You and me— we had a deal, remember? You let me check in on you. You agreed to that. You visit your little high school friends, and I see you at work, so I can make sure you’re not off somewhere killing yourself.”
Hopper becomes a casualty to the tense silence he created then, when you don’t retort with some comeback of your own and force him to feel every ounce of pressure from the leaden quiet.
He sighs a great big, too loud sigh and shifts in his seat. His softening gaze flits between you and the road. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I just meant it, you know, figuratively. I wasn’t… trying to be mean.”
“When have you ever cared about being mean?” you monotone.
“I don’t,” he assures. “I’m just not trying to hurt your feelings, alright? Jeez…”
You try not to take too much pride in the man’s half-apology, though you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little bit rewarding.
Jim Hopper’s practically an iceberg. He only melts for his kid, Joyce Boyers, and you, apparently.
It’s why he’s always so damn protective over you. He’s developed this sort of deep-rooted urge to keep you safe after watching you make every wrong decision a human being could possibly make. And when you mess up, because you do mess up, he feels like it’s partially his fault — that, if he’d done more, he could’ve kept you safer.
It makes you feel like a burden most of the time, but you know it’s above yourself and mostly out of your control.
You’d known of each other for a while before you really met, because a troublemaker and police chief in such a small town are bound to. But somewhere down the line, he found you in a valley of mourning for someone that was still alive and you found him in a black hole of grief for someone who wasn’t. The empty and infinite voids within you both were stitched slowly together all over again.
Jim Hopper was the dad you never had. You were the daughter he couldn’t.
And you thought something might change after he adopted El. You figured he might forget about you because it wasn’t like it was his job to watch after you or anything. Playing pretend always felt nice, but you knew it wasn’t real.
It was to Jim, though, who’d developed a similar adoration for you as the one he had for Sara. He hasn’t been able to forget about you in the same way he hasn’t been able to forget about her.
Every night, after he’s scrubbed the day off his body and washed it all down with a lukewarm beer, he lays on his pull-out bed in the small living room of his cabin and goes through a checklist in his head.
He makes sure that he’s checked on El and reminds himself to wake up early to make her breakfast the next morning before he brings Joyce coffee at Melvald’s — Joyce. She always comes next on his list, always right after El, and then you.
He forces himself to calm down when his blood pressure inevitably spikes at the thought of not having heard from you all day. He reminds himself that he saw you at work on his lunch break and that he’ll see you again tomorrow.
Jim hums to himself as he settles more comfortably into his springy cot, deciding that he’ll try a new wine he can’t pronounce when he sees you at Enzo’s the next day and that he’ll drink it while he rambles about Joyce or El’s new boyfriend.
He drifts to sleep with thoughts of Sara.
You’re as ingrained into his mind as every other person he’s grown to love.
He stopped worrying about never getting you out a long time ago. Like a tomato sauce stain on a dress shirt, he knows he’ll never get you out of his head. He knows even more so that he doesn’t want to — no matter how much you annoy him or how angry you make him when you don’t answer his calls.
“Sorry…” you murmur and swallow down whatever mundane argument you could’ve spewed then, at the result of his sudden warmth. You turn to gaze out the window and trace the edges of the puffy white clouds with your eyes. “I wasn’t thinking about that — the… deal, or whatever… Honestly, I was a little too busy being happier than I think I’ve ever been in my life, so…”
You don’t see the dramatic eye roll he gives you in response, but you can’t miss the hearty groan that spills from his mouth.
“What?” you laugh in response. “Have you never been a kid in love before?”
It’s almost jarring how he goes from huffy to concerned in a fraction of a second. His head snaps over to you, jaw clenched and eyes suddenly stern and swimming with a lingering fear.
“Love?” he repeats like he must’ve heard you wrong. “Love— That’s— That’s what this is?”
You shrug. “I don’t know… Maybe…”
His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “Please don’t tell me you’ve said that to each other yet. This guy was just a crush four days ago.”
“No, Hopper. We haven’t. I mean, he literally just told me he was a virgin, so I don’t think we’re even close to—”
“A virgin?” Jim echoes, voice high-pitched and giddy. He beams at you from beneath his bushy mustache and slaps you a little too hard on your arm when he laughs. “Shit, teacup. Are you runnin’ out of options over there or somethin’?”
You twist your body to hit him back harder with your right hand. “It’s not funny, Hopper,” you scold. “He’s nice.”
“You said that about Hargrove once—”
“This is different,” you monotone before the words have the chance to leave his mouth.
“Yeah? How do you know?”
The question stumps you for a moment because you don’t know — you can’t.
You’d never admit it out loud, but Hopper was right; you’re still not quite sure how you ever could’ve thought that Billy Hargrove was a good guy, but you did. You felt a similar feeling of elation with him as you do now with Eddie, an otherworldly sort of happiness that makes you feel like you’re the only person it’s ever happened to.
And here you are now, sometime later and reveling in the aftermath, still gluing pieces of your shattered heart together.
You treat love like a drug. You use and use and use until it stops being a fun thing and becomes a crutch you can’t live without. That’s always when it starts to hurt you, but you’re in too deep to stop craving it.
And you know it’s bound to happen all over again, but you have to believe Eddie’s different or else you might as well fall into the deep pit of despair you’ve been trying this whole time to crawl out of.
He makes you happy, really really happy, and you’d rather gamble that he hurts you than give it all without even trying.
“I… don’t,” you conclude after a few moments.
Jim seems surprised by your admission, shooting you an incredulous look with his untamed brows raised to his hairline.
You meet his look with a wavering grin. “But he makes me really happy, Hop. Like… It feels like it should be illegal or something. He makes me feel so good my heart hurts. There’s like this—”
“Ugh,” the man grumbles in disgust, sullen all over again.
“I didn’t mean it like that, you weirdo,” you chide.
A grin twitches beneath his mustache in response. “I know you didn’t… ‘Cause Munson’s a virgin.”
“Oh my god!” you groan. “I didn’t even mean to tell you that, okay? Leave him alone— and a swear to god, Hopper, if you make fun of him—”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with it, alright? I mean, he’s got the expert around to show him the ropes— ow!” You cut off his stupid joke and accompanying sardonic grin with a fist to his shoulder.
Steve and Robin tend to be quite the formidable duo.
They’ve barely got a brain cell to rub together between them, but there’s still something strangely intimidating about them when they’re both angry. It feels a bit like they’re your I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed parents, and you’re the scolded child taking your lashings in the form of a lecture.
It’s what you feel like now, sitting across from them in your designated booth at Benny’s Burgers — the one by the window in the corner. It’s far enough away from the bustle of the entrance but close enough still to gossip about the assholes you used to know from high school when they walk through the door.
“You scare the shit out of us when you go AWOL like that, you know?” Steve confesses, still soft even though you know there’s a more upset part of himself he keeps hidden for now.
His chocolate gaze flits between you and the pile of fries in the middle of the table that the three of you share. He finds the one covered in the most salt and pops it into his mouth.
“AWOL?” you echo with a distant laugh when you realize how much he sounds like Hopper. “It was three days.”
“Yeah, and you fell off the face of the earth,” Robin retorts, half-muffled through the hearty gulp of strawberry milkshake starting to melt in her mouth.
“You guys are acting like I went halfway across the country,” you scoff. “I was with Eddie. At his trailer.”
“Exactly!”
Steve’s face contorts mid-bite. “Wait, you were with him? The freak?”
It makes you roll your eyes. He’d been too busy hopelessly flirting with the waitress at the counter to hear the entire recounting of your absence to Robin, though it was more of you gushing about it than anything else.
“Yep,” you answer.
“You skipped out on movie night to be with… Eddie Munson?” he reiterates for himself, as though there was any correlation between watching the same three movies while gorging on greasy junk food with your best friends and falling more in love with a guy you were already head over heels for as he tried to explain away the unopened box of condoms collecting dust underneath his bed.
Both are equally fun in their own ways, but totally totally different.
“How did you survive without me, Steven?” you joke back in response.
“He didn’t,” Robin quips.
“So… what? You guys just went on some kinda bender? I don’t get it. Did you just fuck the entire time or something?”
“Well, contrary to popular belief, I can actually spend time with someone and not fuck them—”
“Okay, that’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“And to answer your question — no, we didn’t fuck,” you confess, then elaborate more slowly, a tad bit awkwardly. “Because he told me today that… he is a… virgin.”
Your words seem to settle over each of them differently. Robin stills with her lips wrapped around the candy-cane striped straw then furrows her brows, as though their meaning hits her a few seconds after the fact.
Steve, meanwhile, goes entirely agape in an amazed sort of shock. His eyes go wide, his brows fly up and hide beneath the bangs that hang down over his forehead, and his jaw falls open. And then he starts to smile, a subtle hint of a grin on the corners of his pink lips, like he finds it funny.
“I knew it,” he murmurs to himself.
“…Why are you smiling like that?”
His smirk widens. “That freak said he screwed Vicki Carmichael senior year. I knew he was lying.”
“And why do you look so proud of yourself, exactly?” Robin asks him.
“Because now I feel less bad about never fucking her,” the boy explains like it’s obvious. He set his elbows on the table and gestures wildly with his hands. “I always thought the freak one-upped me because she, like, never gave me the time of day after Hargrove came along, you know? But… It’s good to know that I’m still king.”
His delighted grin is met with confused looks from both you and Robin, who look upon him with twisted eyebrows and squinted eyes.
“Are you not aware of how strange everything that comes out of your mouth is?” you ask him, only partly joking.
“At least that settles why he wouldn’t let you give him a blow job,” the brunette girl concludes with a shrug as she slouches against the booth. “Poor guy was probably shitting bricks about it.”
You realize then that it does make sense, why he’d always been so adamant about your pleasure and never his own. Why he always touched you like you were some fragile thing he might break, and like everything was new to him. Because it was new to him. All of it.
And even though it baffles you to no end how he went his entire life without someone wanting to jump his bones (because truth be told, you’re doing a terrible job at hiding your want to do just that), the fact still remains — Eddie Munson is a virgin.
He’s a virgin with an acute infatuation for the local slut, both of you freaks in your own right.
It just adds more intricacy to a puzzle that already feels so complicated.
“I’ve never been with a virgin before,” you admit quietly, mostly to yourself, as you train your gaze on the straw wrapper you curl around your finger. “It’s different… Scary.”
“Why?” Robin wonders aloud.
“I don’t know. I just— I don’t know what to do now.”
“Just do what you always do,” Steve tells you like it’s that simple. He folds his arms on the table and leans in closer to you. “Experience is good. Okay? Experience is key.”
“No, it’s not that. I think I’m just… I’m scared I’m gonna treat him the way, you know, that I was treated. And I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna do that to him.”
You’re not sure when the shift started, when you stopped being a person to people. You only know that you were something less than that. Somewhere between junior and senior year, you become a plaything that anyone could do anything they wanted to with, and you were too starved for physical affection to tell them otherwise.
You liked the attention. You liked feeling loved, even if it was only for a minute and a half, and all you had to show for it was a pool of cooling come on your belly.
Eddie’s the fragile thing now that you were then.
He was a delicate little thing that can break so easily, something you could split in half if you wanted to.
You don’t.
You want so desperately to be kind, but you’re scared you won’t know how to, because no one’s ever been kind to you.
Steve reaches across the table for you, taking a wild stab at an attempt for affection after several months of being scared to touch you — he did enough of that, he thought, and he’d hurt you. But he can see the lingering ache hiding in your glazed-over eyes and feels an overwhelming urge to quell your worry.
Five warm fingers wrap around your wrist, not too tight or too strong, just enough to stop you from cutting circulation off to the tip of your pointer finger and to remind you that he’s still there.
“Trust me,” he tells you with a sudden soft swimming in his caramel-colored eyes and a smile playing on his lips. “You couldn’t do that to anybody. Not even if you wanted to.”
Your heart nearly stops at his words, at the sheer kindness of them, and at the way he holds you in the soft way you’re used to only Eddie holding you. Your eyes go wide when they flit up to him and then start to sting with the weight of unshed tears.
You’re quick to blink them away though, while you playfully shrug him off and joke — “stop being so nice before I get the wrong idea, Harrington” — because it’s easier than accepting his tenderness.
Robin takes one look at his fond gaze, all gooey and dripping with honey, and then at your rolling eyes and accompanying shy grin, and groans at the softness of it all. She slides out from the confines of the booth and grumbles something about getting a refill on her milkshake.
“Some fries too, while you’re up?” Steve offers with a hopeful grin.
He’s met with the girl’s signature scowl.
“Please,” you finish for him.
Robin grins. “Anything for you,” she croons, if only to make the boy pout, before skipping off to the counter.
She leans her elbows upon the red wooden laminate top and smiles that same sickly sweet smile for Benny by the grill — no doubt trying to get her refills for free.
Even though the bearded man seems unimpressed with her presence, you know that he’ll give them to her free of charge. He’s always had a soft spot for her, one of the only people in town who could rival his wit.
The door dings open, a familiar and high-pitched chime that often becomes more frequent as the evening progresses. This time it lets in a foreign, bitter breeze when the door swings open and closed again.
You can feel the chill from a distance — it resembles the crispness of autumn despite being comfortably settled in the middle of March. It nearly takes your breath away, prickles your skin and makes you grimace back a shiver.
When your eyes leave Steve, a difficult feat considering he’s doing an alarmingly good impression of a walrus by sticking fries in his upper lip, you find that it wasn’t abnormally cold air at all. It was a Peter Parker spider sense form of anxiety that had felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over you.
Billy Hargrove used to turn heads when he walked into a room.
Now he just sucks all the air out of it.
And it’s not like you haven’t seen him since the break up; for a while, the asshole was painted on the backs of your eyelids — he all but haunted your consciousness. You’ll see him around town on occasion, in his sunglasses and jean jacket and too-tight denim pants, while he struts around Main Street with his new girlfriend (otherwise known as, his flavors of the month).
You think this is the first time you’ve been in the same room as him since your split, though. It feels like it must be with the way your throat starts to tighten and you forget how to breathe.
All at once, you’re scrambling for an exit. It’s like Billy’s a fire and his smoke is rapidly filling your lungs. Your legs start to tremble when your adrenaline spike. Your brain tells you to get out as quickly as you can before he burns you.
Steve notices the look of fear flood your features like a dark storm cloud. You were laughing just seconds before the door opened, equal parts with him and at him, but now you just looked terrified — like a child who’s just spotted a boogeyman in her closet.
He turns in the booth to find what haunted thing has just caught your eye and finds that it’s worse than any monster you could conjure up. It’s Billy fucking Hargrove, with his pretty hair and his pretty smile and his pretty girl under his arm.
His presence filled targeted, almost. Like he chose to come to this diner, on this day and at this time just to fuck with the group of you.
“Don’t even look at him,” Steve advises when he turns back to you. “Look at me, okay? He’s not even worth it. That asshole doesn’t deserve to ruin our day.”
And you try to listen to him. You try really, really hard to let him change that subject to the cold fries or Robin taking too long or a combination of the two, but you can’t focus on him. You’re already so overwhelmed at the sight of Billy that you can’t focus on anything else but him.
You settle on the fact that you might just have to drag Steve and Robin out by their wrists because you can’t sit in this booth any longer, and you definitely aren’t hungry anymore.
And that’s when he spots you.
Your eyes lock and you freeze, immediately averting your gaze but catching the sudden sparkle in his own as he grins a sly, sadistic grin.
“No way,” you hear him say with a laugh under his breath. The sound of his voice makes you tense. You hadn’t realized how at peace you’d been all this time without having to hear it. Now it feels like so many little needles piercing your skin.
“Fancy seeing you guys here,” he greets after he’s made a b-line for your booth and dragged Vicki Carmichael along with him. He smiles with all of his pearly whites while he smacks pungent wintergreen gum between them.
When he slides into the booth beside you, he does so without invitation, and forces Vicki to slink in next to Steve.
And like it wasn’t already awkward enough, you know Vicki — like, know her, know her. There was a drunken makeout at a Halloween party in ’82. Then a one night stand with her brother before he left for college in ’83. And then her Tom Selleck clone of a father at a sleepover for her eighteenth birthday in ’85.
You’re not exactly proud of it, but you’ve gotten a rather hefty taste of her family tree, and the fact that both of you know it makes it that much more uncomfortable.
“We’re kinda busy here, Hargrove,” Steve tells him when he notices how comfortable he’s making himself in your booth.
“Ooh… Is this a little date?” Billy teases with a grin.
Steve’s face falls. “…No.”
“Oh, right,” he nods, though the sardonic lilt in his voice tells you that he already knew the answer. He crosses his arms on the tabletop and turns to look at you with eyes bluer than any ocean. They flicker up and down your form. Suddenly, you feel self-conscious in your baggy jean and tank top duo.
“You’ve been seeing that guy, haven’t you? What’s his name again? The, uh— the freak?”
“His name is Eddie,” Steve answers for you, defending him because you can’t find the words to.
“That’s it,” Billy snaps his fingers, then points. He nudges you with his shoulder. The familiar feel of his jean jacket against your skin makes you wince. “God, you must be runnin’ out of steam over there, huh? I mean… the freak? Seriously? You couldn’t do any better than that?”
The jokes were tolerable coming from Jim and Steve and Robin — they weren’t funny by any means, but you could stomach them because you knew they were jokes. But this? This was just to hurt you. And it works too easily because Billy knows exactly how to break you. He knows all the wires to cut and buttons to push because the puzzle of shattering your psyche is one he memorized long ago.
“He’s actually a really nice guy,” you manage through a tight throat, still staring at your fidgeting hands.
“Well, that’s good,” he hums like you need his approval. “It’s about time, right?”
You huff and choose to entertain him despite your better judgment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He only shrugs. “I don’t know... Just, you know, that found a guy willing to settle for you. That’s all.”
“Settle?” you repeat, trying to laugh despite how tiny your voice sounds.
“You know what I mean, c’mon,” the blonde boy chuckles. “Sluts are fun and all, but they’re not the kinda girls you wanna settle down with. Steve knows what I mean.”
“No, I don’t,” Steve monotones quickly and without thinking, gaze hardened and jaw clenched. “And you need to leave.”
“I”m hungry, Billy,” Vicki whines, feeling every ounce of the tension surrounding her — like syrup or quicksand. She slides her permed bangs from her eyes and tucks a rogue strawberry strand behind her ear in a nervous tick. “Can’t we just get something to eat?”
“Alright, alright. I know when I’m not wanted,” Billy chuckles.
You grumble bitterly under your breath. “Apparently not…”
“I’ll see you around, Harrington,” Billy singsongs with a grin that wreaks of insincerity while his girlfriend slides out from the booth. He turns to look at you and squints. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? Matter of fact, point Munson my way, and I’ll give him a few pointers.”
You’re uncowed by his offer and angered by his mention of Eddie. Your eyes are stern and unwavering as you meet his gaze for the first time since he sat down beside you.
“I think you could learn a thing or two from him, actually,” you retort, words sounding sweeter than the venom lingering behind them.
Billy’s grin only widens, impressed by your arguing. “Ooh… I forgot about the mouth you had on you, sweetheart.”
The use of the nickname makes you cringe. It doesn’t sound nearly as fulfilling as it does when it comes from Eddie. Now, it just sounds artificial — degrading.
He leans in close to you like he’s about to tell you a secret and splays his arm along the back of the booth behind you. The nicotine on his breath makes you grimace; it’s intoxicating when it comes from Eddie, disgusting from the boy sitting next to you.
His eyes are bluer so up close, darker than you remember them being, and you notice he’s trimmed his usual stubble to a patchy mustache. He looks like the grown-up version of the boy you used to know, visually more mature but still the same in his way.
“When he gets bored of you — because, let’s be serious, he will get bored of you — you know where to find me,” Billy murmurs to you, a cynical smirk on the edges of his lips. “I’ll make sure you stay nice and broken in for the next dozen guys that want a taste—”
Steve can’t hear a word from where he sits across the booth, but he’s fuming with fists clenched under the table anyway. He hates how close Billy is to you, more so how uncomfortable you look with the proximity and how his words make you flinch.
“Alright, you need to leave,” he blurts. “Now.”
Before the blonde could respond with a quip of his own, Robin all but teleports to the head of the table. She’s standing in front of the four of you suddenly, carrying a basket of fries and a strawberry milkshake and wearing a frown on her face.
“You’re in my seat, dickwad,” she monotones, even though she hadn’t been sitting next to you before. She’s not the least bit threatened by the Californian douchebag.
Billy smiles up at her anyway. “I was wondering where the third musketeer was! Still a carpet muncher, Buckley?”
“Happily.”
“What do ya say me and you head up to Lover’s Lake later?” the boy offers despite his date shifting awkwardly a few feet away. It’s a joke, for reasons that are more than obvious, and that’s what makes it so unbearably unfunny.
He slinks out from the booth. The lack of his warmth is strangely comforting and you’re able to breathe for the first time in five minutes. He stretches his back out when he stands to his full height in front of Robin, then shrugs with his hands splayed on his hips.
“Maybe you just need some good dick. I mean… we’re gonna die anyway, right?”
“I’d rather,” she quips with a rouge-tinted smile.
The way it makes him laugh is startling. He finds a strange humor in being rejected — in most things, really. You still haven’t forgotten the cackles that left his bloodied mouth when Steve delivered blow after blow to the boy’s face in the middle of his living room, like it was all a fun game to him.
That was, of course, before Billy got the upper hand and nearly killed Steve that night. He laughed about it that too, until Max knocked him out with a baseball bat.
He’s got the same grin on his face now as he did then when he turns to look at you. A pink and pretty smirk, just wide enough to reveal the dimple in his left cheek. It’s nothing short of taunting, like he’s mocking you without having to say anything at all.
“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” Billy repeats. He keeps smacking his gum between his teeth and winks at you before spinning on the heel of his boot. He guides Vicki with him to the counter with a hand on the back pocket of her jeans.
Even when Robin slides in next to you and effectively pierces the bubble of tension that had already started to shrink with Billy’s leaving, you still find it hard to breathe. You have to keep reminding yourself, forcing oxygen in and out with wobbling breaths through your nose, or else you just stop altogether.
The other two move on rather quickly, having no trouble finding their voices again after he’s gone. Their words are muffled, though, like they’re underwater.
“I forgot what an asshole he was,” Robin grumbles.
“Well, I didn’t,” Steve retorts, eyes scanning the basket of fries for the most strategic pick of the bunch. “I can still barely breathe through my nose.”
“That’s because you didn’t go to a doctor, dingus.”
“Because I didn’t need a doctor, Robin.”
“Yeah, because being concussed three times in two years is so healthy—”
Your eyes act like magnets as they stay locked on Billy’s form. He leans in closer to Vicki to tell her something, then pats her once on the ass before walking towards the exit again. The door dings when he swings it open. Through the window, you catch him pulling out a red and white pack of cigarettes — the same brand of Marlboro Reds he’s been smoking since he was in middle school.
“You okay?” you hear Steve say, but it sounds too far away for you to realize he’s talking to you.
Robin nudges you with her shoulder to jog you from your stupor. You blink hard once and then turn to her with wide eyes. “What?”
“You doing alright over there?” the girl wonders.
“Yeah,” your answer is too quick and too high-pitched to be true. “Fine.”
“Like, fine as in you’re actually fine, or fine as in, if I leave you alone for too long, I’m gonna find you living under a bridge like a troll?”
You roll your eyes at her. “Fine as in, if someone bums me a cigarette, I’ll be good as new.”
Steve huffs when you hold out the palm of your hand toward him. He’s the only one of you who smokes recreationally enough to carry a lighter and pack of cigs with him. You swear he only keeps it with him because the weight of them makes him feel cool. You’re grateful for them now, though, and for the escape they unexpectedly provide you.
His fingers are warm when they brush your hand. The metal zippo he drops in the center of it is far colder and carries a comforting sort of weight to it. He thumbs a cigarette from the pack for you, and you take it with a sardonic smile and a sickly sweet “thank you, Stevie.”
Robin gets out of the booth to let you slide out of it.
The door chimes again, this time over your head when you open it.
Fresh, spring air nearly knocks you on your ass when it hits you for the first time. You realize then, that you’d forgotten to tell yourself to breathe and now your vision’s all swimmy. The cool breeze tries its hardest to quell your swelling anger, but you’re still at a simmering boil. Fists clenched over the lighter and cig duo in your palm and your sneakers slapping angrily against the cracked pavement.
That’s what signals your arrival, the raging stomps that echo in the alleyway Billy takes his smoke break in.
The boy takes a puff of his cigarette and smirks on the exhale at the sight of you. All he needs is one glance to see how angry he’s made you. It’s an innocent, childlike sort of rage that’s got you all scrunched face and red — a heartbroken girl on a war path.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me, sweetheart,” he taunts with his signature sarcastic smile. He holds his arms at his sides, like he’s waiting for some kind of embrace from you. “You used to be like that all the time — all over me, you know? Clingy.”
“You know what you used to be?” you ask him once you’ve planted yourself a few feet away from him, fists shaking at your sides in a nearly overwhelming mixture of rage and apprehension.
“What’s that?”
“Nice! You used to be nice! Or do you not remember that?” you wonder rhetorically. Your anger fades slowly, an ebbing tide, as a reminiscent sadness eclipses your fury — a flood of blue in all your red.
The sharp frown between your brows crumbles and so does your clenched jaw as your harsh features crumple like a balled-up piece of paper. You look upon the man that broke your heart with all the shattered pieces of it.
“You used to let me sleep over at your place when I was too scared to sleep alone at mine, and you’d bring me food when I told you I hadn’t eaten all day, and you’d take me on drives when you knew I hadn’t left my apartment in days,” you ramble in a single breath, gesticulating wildly with your hands — waving them at him and at you and the still air between. They fall hopelessly to your sides.
“You used to be so sweet, Billy…” you conclude with a wavering breath. Your chest trembles on the inhale as you straighten out your shoulders and lift your chin, trying your best not to look as defeated as you feel. “And you know what you are now?”
Billy grins that stupid grin at you, the one that almost looks kind. Almost. It’s still soft in all its insincerity, like a parent entertaining their kid that’s gone on some meaningless tangent.
“No, sweetheart,” he answers after a beat. “What am I?”
“Not nice.”
He scoffs out a laugh.
“You used to tell me, all the time, how scared you were about ending up like you’re dad—” he tenses at the mention of the man, of his own monster in his own closet. “—He’d beat you black and blue every night, and I’d bandage all your cuts and put makeup on you when you begged, so you could go out and pretend like everything was normal. And you know what? You’re just like him!”
Billy doesn’t cower when you walk closer to him. He’s got no reason to be afraid of you, but your words hit him in a place far deeper than a thousand bloodied fists.
“What he did to you, is exactly what you do to me… Or do you know see that?” you don’t wait for a sarcastic reply, mostly because you wouldn’t see the indicators of it through the tears that blur your vision. “You’re not punching me, but it feels like you are. You break me over and over and over and I have to pretend like everything’s just normal and that we—”
“Real mature of you. To bring out the dad-card,” he interjects, if only to stop your ramblings so that he might not have to hear the truth that comes with them.
“You used to he nice,” you repeat, you agonize, you deflate. “Or… Or did you never use to be?”
The shell of your mind answers for you, paints itself with all the memories you’ve been trying like hell to forget for the past six months. It’s easier to pretend the bad things aren’t real than unravel all the reasons why they were bad to begin with, you find.
The negative memories come together like renaissance paintings — dark and gloomy and blotted with too realistic tears and spatters of blood. The oil stains the backs of your eyelids, destined to remain there forever like paintings in museum that’ll stand the test of time if you nurse them well enough.
You hadn’t yet been able to forget the screams and the cracks of fists colliding with bone. They tend to keep you up at night, even when you squeeze your eyes shut and beg for your memory to be wiped away completely.
Billy crouches over Steve’s chest and pummels wholehearted punches to the boy’s face, never tiring in their force, even well after the boy goes limp underneath him. You beg for him to stop while trying like hell to shield Max from the sight of it all.
For a while, you’d blamed yourself for it — for Max being there in the first place and for Steve’s cuts and bruises.
You’d taken the girl and sought refuge in the Harrington home after witnessing a rather heated fight between Billy and his father. There was a sudden urge within you to take her far away from it before it ended how it always did — in weeping cuts and salty tears and insincere apologies when the cops were called.
But you made it worse anyway.
For Max, for Steve.
And you apologized profusely for it after, cried to the boy in his bathroom while you nursed his cuts like you were the one who put them there.
When he told you it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t believe him. Not until now. Not until you realized that Billy had always been angry — always raging with an ocean of fear and grief and violence.
When he fought with his sister, you thought it was normal, that that’s just what siblings did. But the way she cried to you after couldn’t have been normal. Neither could the unearthly fury that washed over Billy like a riptide when he found out you and Max had sought safety in Steve The Hair Harrington — angered that it was Steve and that he couldn’t be that for the both of you.
And then there was the fights. The yelling and screaming and crying fights that felt like the end of the world every single time. The kind of fights you shouldn’t be having when you’re eighteen. You thought that maybe there was some normalcy in the cheating and the secrecy and Billy’s accompanying assholery because that was all you’d ever known.
Or maybe because you had to tell yourself that was normal in relationships because you didn’t want your’s to end. Billy was the first guy to give a damn about you in ways that went beyond just sex. How were you supposed to just give that up?
But then there’s Eddie — Eddie The Freak Munson, who was really just sunshine wrapped up in leather jackets and wild hair and chunky rings and metal music. He makes you happy. The sort of happy that makes you suspicious because something bad has to counteract all the goodness he makes you feel.
Maybe that’s what this was.
Seeing Billy after having wrapped yourself in a blanket of Eddie’s warmth made you see somehow more clearly. He loves on you so much that it’s made a mockery of everything else.
Whatever you had with Billy wasn’t normal, it was a goddamn shit show. He loved you when it was convenient and then had you believing it was the real thing, that you wouldn’t find it anywhere else, when you tried to leave him.
It was a lie, all of it.
The realization makes you falter.
“Oh, god…” you sigh, voice fragile like cracking glass. “Maybe you never used to be…”
For the first time ever, you see Billy’s grin shake. The edges of it flitter, like he’s fighting to keep the corners quirked up. And his eyes have gone a lighter shade of blue, the way they always did when he blinked back angry tears as he talked about his father.
It isn’t rage glassing his eyes now. It’s something sadder, but still as real — something you never got from him in the two years you were together.
He tries, still, to cover it all up. He smacks his lips against his teeth, sympathetically. “Sorry it took you this long to figure that out.”
The laugh you exhale then is heavy with sadness. Your smile is far away and so is your gaze as you stumble back from him. You turn your head to the edge of the alley where mom’s with strollers and people in fancy suits bustle on the sidewalk and keep your eyes on the strangers that whiz by you’ll probably never see again.
“This is… This is pointless,” you murmur. His lean form is blurry through the burning tears you blink away. “Every time I see you, it’s just more bullshit so let’s just— let’s just leave each other alone, okay?”
Billy takes a puff from his cigarette. When he sighs, white smoke billows from his plump, pink lips. “That’s a shame… I was just thinking that you were the most interesting you’d ever been.”
The ebbing tide that had just left you rushes back in a bubbling scarlet wave. His words don’t make you sad anymore, they just make you angry all over again because you know you don’t deserve them. And you’re not entirely sure why he’s chosen you to antagonize out of all the other girls who’d made the mistake of falling for him, but you’re too far past the point of not caring to ask.
“Bother me again and I tell Chief Hopper,” you threaten even though you don’t feel very threatening just now. “I know you’re not scared of me, but you’d be stupid to be scared of him.”
“Why’s that?” he wonders before sticking the half-gone stick between his lips again.
“Because he runs Hawkins. And he fucking hates you—” for what you did to me, you almost say. You swallow the words down like bile before they have the chance to spew out. “And… And be nice to Vicki. Okay? She’s too good for you. Don’t do to her what you did to me.”
Your plea for another is the last thing you say to Billy before you turn away from him. You wouldn’t be upset if it was the last thing you ever said to him. You’re grateful for the resounding silence that follows. It’s nothing but the sound of your receding footsteps and the soles of his shoes scrapping the concrete as he snuffs out his cigarette.
There is no snarky remark or insincere plea — just two people who used to love each other that have no idea to exist together anymore.
When you step outside the brick confines of the alleyway, you feel as though a fraying string that had always connected the both of you had been finally cut.
It allows you to take a deep breath in for the first time in months. A lungful of fresh air that cleanses you, body and mind.
And when you catch Steve and Robin idling at the corner and doing a terrible job of pretending like they hadn’t just been eavesdropping, you don’t get upset or angry with them — you don’t feel much of anything, really.
You just hand the boy his lighter and unused cigarette and let them comfort you on the drive back to your apartment.
A misery sandwich. That’s what Robin calls the three of you and the heaping pile you lay in.
Your queen-sized bed is in no way meant to accomodate three moderately sized adults, but you make it work anyway, like you always do.
Steve lays on his back, legs crossed and hands tucked under his head. Robin is on her stomach on the other end of the mattress, arms wrapped around the pillow she smushes the side of her face into. You lay between the both of them — on the both of them. Sprawled out sideways, you’ve got your head on propped up on Steve’s ribcage and your legs thrown over Robin’s thighs.
The awkward position is the most comfortable you’ve ever been.
“I can’t believe that asshole had the nerve to show up to the diner on our day,” the boy rants. “And then sit in our booth, I mean— who does he think he is?”
Robin’s response is mostly muffled by the pillow. “I thought he left, like, forever ago.”
“Maybe he just couldn’t stay away. It’s Hawkins, shit attracts shit, right?” Steve answers with a shrug that jostles your head slightly. It doesn’t little to knock you from your stupor, though, where you’ve been stuck for the better part of the day. You pick at the skin around your nails with little regard for how red and raging it's gone.
He notices this and thumps you on your temple — hard enough for you to feel it, gentle enough that it doesn’t hurt you.
You turn your chin to your shoulder to look over at him. He tilts his own head to stare down at you, honey-tinted gaze somehow stern and soft at the same time. “If he bothers you again, I’ll kill him.”
You’re instantly warmed by his protective disposition. You know that he cares about you, even though you like to joke that he doesn’t. Steve hurt you once, made a promise to himself to make it up to you, and then just never left you alone.
You’re grateful for it.
You’re not sure who’d be the butt of every joke if he wasn’t around.
“Good to know,” you answer, nodding against his side and trying to hide the smile he gives you. You fail. “You think if he breaks your nose again, it’ll pop back into place?”
His face falls. “You’re real sweet, you know that?”
You open your mouth to respond, something along the lines of “I’m always sweet. You of all people should know that, Stevie,” before a knock sounds at the front door. It comes in the several rhythmic raps that Eddie is known to give when he’s got a tune stuck in his head.
Apparently now, it’s the chorus to “Why Can’t This Be Love?” The Van Halen song he said he couldn’t stand before you.
Robin huffs at the sound of the muffled taps. She frowns like a child. “Who the hell…?”
“It’s just Eddie,” you affirm through a half-hearted grunt as you rise from your comfy position.
That brightens the two of them up almost immediately. Her and Steve share a look you can’t place as they grin at one another. Then they turn back to you with identical mischievous twinkles in their eyes. “Your boyfriend is here,” the former of the two singsongs.
You roll your eyes, but make no move to correct her.
When you stand from the bed and make the short journey towards the door, you hear the patter of their feet following close behind you.
“Gonna go all the way tonight?” Steve teases and jabs you on the shoulder. “Do you want us to leave?”
“No, nothing is happening. And yes, I think you should leave,” you monotone playfully.
Robin rushes past you suddenly and grabs the brass door handle before you’re able. She swings it open without thinking twice about it. Her sudden appearance, coupled with the fact that it isn’t you, startles the man on the other side of the door.
Eddie’s umber eyes go wide, brows raising and disappearing beneath his fluffy bangs, as his head jerks back.
“Eddie Munson,” the girl full-names the stranger she’s never spoken a word to before now. She leans against the doorway and effectively blocks the boy’s view of you. Steve, who squeezes himself in beside her, doesn’t make it any easier. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“You too, Buckley…” he wavers, trying to peer past them for any sight of you.
“Perfect timing, Eds,” you call out from behind them. “They were just about to leave.”
He’s relieved at the sound of your voice — even more so at your appearance when the two in front of you step off to the side to toe on their sneakers.
You don’t look much different than when he saw you last. You’ve put on some makeup that’s started to smudge after the long day and changed your baggy sweatshirt for a more fitted tank top and boxers, but other than that you’re still the same. Still familiar and comforting in your way, a home away from home.
His smile is a tired one and it wobbles at the edges. “Oh, shit, am I— am I interrupting something?”
“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. “You’re saving me, actually.”
“Oh, give me a break,” Steve scoffs. “You love us.”
The boy pulls you into a hug before he leaves, and it’s not the rarest thing in the world, but embraces like this do tend to be few and far between. He whispers “use protection” in your ear and then a sharp “ow!” when you jab him in the ribs.
He and Robin smile kindly at Eddie when they walk by him and out the door, but waste barely a second before turning back around and grinning wildly at you. Steve flashes you a thumbs up while she mouths a cartoonish ‘good luck’ — like it’s the first time you and Eddie had ever been alone together. Like they were just on your ass about having been with him this whole time.
You usher Eddie and shut the door behind them. A quiet sort of peace settles on the apartment like a weighted blanket. The boy revels in every bit of its warmth.
Exhaustion drips from him like syrup. He’s sticky with it. His eyes have lost their usual twinkle, weighed down now with the burden of his fatigue. His face has lost most of its color, leaving a pale sheath of monotoned skin, and his hair is wilder than normal, with an unintentional sort of ruggedness to his curls.
It’s what being without you has done to him.
“You okay?” you ask him softly. It almost makes him want to cry.
“Yeah,” he answers anyway and idles in the spot where your kitchen meets your living room. “Just had a pretty shitty day. Wanted to spend time with you.”
“Me too… About the wanting to spend time with you part— and the shitty day part, too, I guess.”
Eddie smiles at your rambling, but purses it to the side to conceal it from you. “And since it is just about our…” he trails off and bends his elbow to check the watch on his wrist. “…Twelve hour anniversary, I picked us up some takeout.”
He sets the plastic bag on the counter. The red logo of Oriental Jade on the side of it makes your stomach roll with a distant hunger. You hadn’t realized how starved you were feeling after you abandoned your early dinner at Benny’s. It makes you more grateful for Eddie, who always seems to be on the same wavelength as you without even trying.
“Keep this up and we’ll be married before we hit hour twenty-four,” you joke as you rifle through the cartons — chow mein, sweet and sour chicken, dumplings, the works.
Eddie settles in next to you, propping his elbows on the countertop. “Well, I’m pretty sure the courthouse opens at nine, so… What were you thinking for the honeymoon? Hawaii? Bora Bora?”
“How about a cabin in the woods where no one can find us?”
“Hmm… Spooky. Sexy. I’m into it.”
You settle in the living room and eat on the couch while She Ra re-runs play on the television. You try to teach Eddie how to use chopsticks, though he can only work them with his non-dominant hand and all the wrong finger placements. You think it’s cute to watch him fumble with them, and you giggle about it until you’re scolding him for trying to feed Bowie some noodles. He laughs as you swat at him.
When all the containers are fully scrapped clean and tossed in the recycling bin, you migrate to the bedroom — which is perhaps too raunchy a phrase to use when the two of you only bury yourselves under the covers to talk shit.
Eddie drags out the chunky box fan you use when the air conditioner goes out in the summer — because it always goes out in the summer — and props it on the chest at the foot of your bed so the covers will billow around the both of you. “And it’s perfect because we can stay in the fort forever and not get hot,” he tells you, all giddy about it like he's a kid again.
“What if I get cold?” you retort.
Without missing a beat, he answers, “Well, lucky enough for you, I know several ways I can warm you up, sweetheart.”
He ditches his leather jacket and strips down to his boxers and settles in beside you underneath the blankets. The two of you lay shoulder to shoulder while you trace absentminded patterns on the palm of his hand and tell him about your day.
You make sure to leave out all the re-traumatizing-Billy-Hargrove bits, though. You focus mainly on the tense drive with Hopper and the small fight you’d had with Steve on the drive to the diner later that afternoon about the lyrics to Love My Way (both of you had been wrong).
Eddie tries his hardest to focus on your story and your fleeting touches, but he’s too far in his own head. You tell him all these things but he can’t stop thinking about himself — about whether or not you might’ve brought him up somewhere in between.
He wouldn’t have blamed you, if you had. Steve and Robin are your closest friends and, for whatever reason, so is Chief Hopper, you’re bound to bring him up eventually. He was just hoping it would’ve been in a better capacity. Maybe about how kind he was or what a god he was in bed — not how he could only be one of those things because he’d never been anything in bed.
“It doesn’t make things weird between us, does it?” he wonders out of the blue.
You halt mid-sentence and turn to him with furrowed brows. “What?”
Eddie realizes then, that the first half of the conversation with you had only happened in his head. He prays that it’s too dark beneath the covers for you to see how red his cheeks get. “Just… What we talked about this morning. About me… you know…” He finds it hard to say the words. Or any of them at all.
“Why would it make things weird?”
“I don’t know. Because I wasn’t… totally honest with you, I guess? I feel a little bad about it, you know?”
“It’s okay,” you assure and turn on your side to be closer to him. Eddie stays on his back, more than happy to let you cuddle further into him. “I guess I do wish you’d said something before, though.”
His chest tightens. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know how to—”
“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad!” you interject quickly when you catch the spiral of regret he was about to twist himself into. You curl tighter into his side, tossing a leg over his thigh and wrapping your hand around his bicep in an effort to melt with him. When he turns to face you, your noses nearly brush.
“That’s not how I meant it. I just meant that, if I’d known before, I wouldn’t have… I would’ve taken things slower. I wouldn’t have been so, you know, so all over you.”
He hates how apologetic you sound. Like there was ever an ounce of him that would want to take back what happened that night at his trailer or a part of him that might hate how much you love on him.
“I liked it. I do like it.”
“Maybe we can just start over,” you offer. “Pretend like none of that ever happened.”
Eddie knows there’s no way in hell he’ll be able to forget about a single damn thing — not his cum stained jeans and how you looked so pretty washing them for him, not the feel of your tits in his mouth or you wrapped around his fingers, not how you made him blow his load all over his fist just by talking to him.
He goes along with it anyway, though, just for you.
“Okay...” he nods slowly, then squints over at you. “You’re still my girlfriend, though, right?”
“Of course I am,” you giggle.
He grins proudly to himself. “Well then… Hope it’s not too early to have our first kiss then?”
It makes you roll your eyes because it’s such an Eddie Munson way of asking to kiss you. You told him earlier the day that he never had to ask you — in fact, you’d prefer it if he’d just kiss you out of the blue and take your breath away without you ever knowing it was coming. But there was something foreign and sweet in his little reassurances.
“Kiss me silly, Eddie Spaghetti,” you beam. He twists on his side to press tiny pecks to your smile.
It’s rather strange, you find, to kiss someone this way without the intention of it ever becoming something more. You kiss him just to kiss him — just to map the outline of his cupid’s bow and memorize the pattern of his tongue. Just to feel him, as much of him as your mouth will allow you to.
With one arm curled under his head and the other cradling your jaw, when his watch alarms — high-pitched beepbeepbeeps in quick succession — it’s sudden and close to your ear.
Your lips click in protest when they part. His are pink and swollen and glossy with your spit. He smiles with them. “Happy twelve hour anniversary, sweetheart.”
“How long are you gonna make that stupid joke?” you laugh like your heart isn’t swelling so much you’re scared it might burst entirely.
“Uh, I was thinking… forever. Yeah. That sounds about right,” he concludes after a moment of feigned thought. He turns his watch off again and you swear you see him set for another twelve hours from now.
“Forever?” you echo.
“Uh-huh. Forever—” he presses his lips to yours once. “—And ever—” Twice. “—And ever.”
Eddie kisses you until you’re flat on your back and surrendering to each of his tiny little pecks. You twist your hands in his hair and let him love on you a little while more. You giggle when his mouth trails from your lips to your chin to your jaw to your neck. Please don’t get bored of me, you beg silently within your laughter.
I don’t think I could even if I wanted to, he answers with each kiss his sprinkles to your starved skin. How could I, when you’re the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me?
#published by bug#eddie munson x reader#stranger things x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson smut#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#stranger things#eddie munson fic#virgin!eddie munson x reader#virgin!eddie munson
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Hey Zoe, since the SL Series is coming to an end, and u must be just focusing on the prolonged end of the comic, are there any episodes from seasons 4 or 5 that u wished you could have brought to the comic? Or an episode that you regret posting or wished to switch with another?
Well most of Season 4 has Sentimonsters so I'd have to rework the akuma, so that's already a headache lol. And the Season 5 akumas share Miraculous powers so they'd be pretty boring since they definitely wouldn't have those.
But you know, it could technically be done. There are a few episodes that I would just rewrite in general, so I wouldn't really be including it with the goal of making it "SL-ified" and rather so I could have an excuse to "fix" it. Like "Migration". And "Derision". "Reunion" could be doable and even interesting even without Alix being Lost in the Time Stream, especially since it's totally believable that there'd be Anti-Hero conspiracies even before Monarch got the Miraculouses.
(bonus that Gold Record barely used Voyage in the fight and I could just make it so that he an transform himself into a Gold Record that zooms around like a frisbee to travel really fast as IF he had Voyage).
Unfortunately a lot of Season 4 and 5 rely on certain premises (like Monarch having the Miraculouses) so I can't really pluck them out and put them in SL before Heroes' Day. I'd love to do "Furious Fu" even without Fu losing his memories, but then I'd have to do "Feast" first to bring the Temple back, which has it's own requirements.
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JK and Jimin made some crazy records last year and people have thrown around a lot of accusations around. But there's one thing I remember someone saying after Jimin got the BB hot 100 #1 - if it was easy to do it then everyone would do it. And the BP girls took it to heart. They saw JK's formula - a bunch of payola, English songs, western collabs - and they've been following it to a T. Rose's been breaking a crazy amount of records and apt isn't a bad song but it just goes to show you that seven wasn't anything special really. You need a base popularity of course - it's not like Mingyu could suddenly do this tomorrow but Rose shows without a doubt that what JK achieved wasn't because he was the next Harry styles. Just like one successful song doesn't mean Rose is the next Chapel Roan
But it also throws into relief how hard what Jimin's achieved is. Like crazy was insane by itself - a Korean self composed song that his label acted didn't exist did really well for what it is. And with who, he might have an English song but it's with the most minimal payola and no collabs. The most comparable songs to it would be standing next to you, friends, mantra and rockstar. Who is the most successful of these by far with probably the least percentage of Thai streams. Sorry but I am starting to sincerely doubt any of the other members would've been able to pull off what Jimin's doing.
Anyhow I'm not really one to care about chart numbers or award nominations so much. I just see armys using it to justify their assertions on why JK deserves a Grammy nomination or something but Rose and Lisa both defeat the point. Lisa made no noise and yet keeps getting nominated for award shows and doing "live" performances. Armys can act blind but she's there for the same reason JK was last year - 💵
So I see in the future more and more kpop artists following the JK method with different levels of success. As for Jimin, it's hard to say with him - I'd like him to go more mainstream but if he decides to stay low-key, he might end up being one of those stars with a big cult following. They sometimes explode to the mainstream kind of like BTS themselves, they sometimes don't. As long as he makes good music, I think I'll be fine. Because while I want success for him, if that means he thinks he has to make some crap songs like seven or rockstar then I'll pass.
.🎯
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Icarus Part 12
I've decided that since I have a fair amount of backlog on the three I've been doing WIP Wednesday for, that I'd post some of them to give me time to work on the rom-com AU more.
I recommend going back and re-reading part 11 at least before reading this one to be on the safe side.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
The Fallen boys need a break and Robin and Chrissy meet up with Nancy.
****
Things were going really well in the studio now that they had Bob Newby as their producer and their studio was closer to home so they could live their normal lives and still be in the studio recording.
It was the happiest the band had been in awhile. Which was why Steve should have seen it coming. The dark cloud on the horizon.
Shane was late.
That wasn’t to say that it was out of the ordinary or whatever, but it was now two hours late and Spence was pissed.
“When I get my hands on his scrawny neck,” he hissed. “I’m going to kill him.”
Simon rolled his eyes. “You’re just upset because it’s means you’ll be late for your date or whatever with Nadia. He’ll be here.”
“That’s not true and you know it, Asmodeus,” Spence bit out. “This is the third time this week and yeah, so what if I have a life outside of this, but that’s not why.”
Just then Shane stumbled in. He looked like absolute shit. His clothes were disheveled, his hair was a mess, and he wore dark sunglasses. Clutched to his chest was a large coffee.
“Fuck...” he mumbled as he shambled over to the sofa. He lowered himself gently onto the thing with a stream of curses. “Sorry I’m late, but my hookup last night turned off my alarm.”
He took a long sip of his coffee and rubbed his temple. He had finished most of the coffee when he realized that no one had said a word since he arrived.
The door opened and Bob and Robin entered the room looking more than a little cross.
Shane flashed them a smile. “Uh oh, it looks like I upset both mom and dad. So I was a little late. It happens.”
“But it shouldn’t be happening,” Spence said with a scowl. “This isn’t the first time. Hell, it’s not even the first time this week.”
Shane frowned, setting his coffee on the floor between his feet. He rubbed his temples as he struggled to think back. “That can’t be right, it’s only Monday, right?”
Everyone shared concerned glances.
“Astraeus,” Steve said slowly, “it’s Thursday.”
Bob crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You were late on Sunday, Monday and today, Astraeus.”
Shane stared up at them in open shock and disbelief. “There’s no way!” He pulled out his phone and looked at the date.
“Shit.”
“What’s been going on, man?” Simon asked, concerned for the first time. He hadn’t realized how often it had been and was giving Spence shit for wanting to be with his girlfriend.
Shane shook his head. “I have money for the first time in my life. I mean proper money. My parents always had enough to make sure we got into the things we wanted; sports, drama, music, you name it, but there wasn’t a lot of money to go around after, you know? I had to pay for my college education myself and I just wanted to live a little. Spread the money around, even if I couldn’t tell them what I did for a living, they don’t really care.”
“I can see that,” Robin said. “I think we all breathing easier, regardless of our backgrounds because the money we’re getting has pretty much set us up for life if it all went to shit tomorrow, which I really wouldn’t recommend, by the way.”
Shane let out a huff of breath that wasn’t quite a laugh. “I really didn’t mean to go off like that, I’ll cut back to just the weekends. I promise.”
Robin and Bob shared a glance.
“That’s strike one, Astraeus,” Bob said, “I don’t take slackers lightly. You want me to continue to work for you guys, you’ve got to step it up.”
Shane nodded empathically. “Can we have a day off a week though? It doesn’t have to be on the weekend, but this seven days a week is really hard.”
Robin blinked at him a moment. “You guys have been coming every day?”
The band looked around at each and all gave a collective shrug.
She turned to Bob. “Is that your schedule?”
Bob’s jaw dropped and he shook his head. “I only do that if there’s a rush to get the album out, which I understood there wasn’t. I don’t how we got on working every day, but Astraeus is correct they need a day off.”
“What works best for everyone?”
The band worked out a better schedule that worked for everyone with it ending with Bob giving everyone the rest of the week off, giving them strict instructions to talk to him about those sort of things before it got to this point.
Robin clapped her hands once. “Right, now that we’ve got that settled, we’re still meeting up at Abbadon’s for dinner to discuss my meeting with Nancy. My meeting is at three and dinner is at six, so don’t be late.” She glared at Shane and he raised his hands in surrender.
“See you all then!”
****
Robin straightened her wig in her rearview mirror and added more lipstick. She wore special contacts that changed her bright blue eyes to a more common brown color. She was dressed in slim fitting white slacks with a bright pink silk blouse and a black leather aviator’s jacket. She hated wearing these clothes, they just weren’t her. At least she didn’t have to wear high heels to this thing. She would have broken an ankle for sure.
But she would sell her soul to the devil if it meant that Steve got to do what he loved. And it wasn’t as though she didn’t love her job either. But Eddie was right, she was on her last frayed nerve and that wouldn’t do her boys any good.
She slid out of her Maserati MC20 and walked up to the restaurant. The Corroded Coffin’s manager, Chrissy Cunningham was going to be there as a mediator.
Robin hadn’t told Steve this, but Chrissy knew who she was. Not the band, she didn’t know that, but she knew that Celeste Baptiste was Robin Buckley. It was just something Robin felt she needed to know before going in there with Nancy. That she personally had a stake in the game, even if it was just as Steve’s best friend.
Chrissy loved the idea of even their manager having an alter ego and it made Robin feel better about her choice to be someone else.
Robin and Chrissy kissed each other’s cheeks in greeting and Robin sat down.
“She’s not here yet?” she asked, looking at her matching watch.
Chrissy shook her head. “She’s running a little behind. One of her clients blew up the internet last night and she’s been having to play hard ball to keep it from destroying their career.”
Robin leaned in close. “Ooh, do you know who it was?”
“That’s for me to know,” Nancy said from above them, “and for you to never find out.”
Robin looked up at her and was struck on how good she looked. It was almost unfair how good she looked.
She was wearing a grey plaid blazer with the sleeves rolled up over a white button shirt and a black pencil skirt. She wore grey boots and matching sunglasses, glasses she took off with a shake of her dark curls.
Robin gulped. Nancy had been intimidating enough in high school, but now she could stare down a raging bull and come away unscathed.
“Hello, ladies,” Nancy said with a smile. “I’m sorry I was late, but I think I managed a god damn miracle and could eat an entire salad bar.”
Nancy sat down and put her phone in her purse.
“Oh are you vegan?” Chrissy asked as the waiter came up with a pitcher of water. Nancy waved him off and ordered a rosé.
“Just vegetarian,” she said with a shake of her head. “I love cheese too much. Plus, I knew a militant vegan and they scare me.”
Robin laughed. “Couldn’t be me, I went full vegan last year and haven’t looked back.”
Nancy and Chrissy both winced, but for different reasons, Nancy for her comment about militant vegans and Chrissy, well...
“I picked this place because it has the best rib eye steak on the planet,” she said with a grimace. “That’s not going to bother either of you if I order that, right?”
Nancy and Robin shared a glance and then shook their heads.
“My best friend loves steak,” Robin said, “It’s his choice to eat it, I just a have a problem with the ethical consumption of meat and other animal products.”
“Most of my clients eat meat,” Nancy agreed. “I’m not about to piss them off because I don’t like the taste.”
Chrissy relaxed and let out a long sigh. “Great!”
She picked up her menu to hide her embarrassment. A few minutes later, their waiter came back and they placed their orders.
Nancy had ordered a pasta with roasted sun dried tomatoes and mushrooms and Robin ordered a simple salad with a vinaigrette.
As they waited for their food, Nancy got down to business. “So as I understand it, the band The Fallen is looking for an agent to help with the legal and PR aspect of their brand, correct?”
Robin nodded, twisting her napkin nervously. Normally as Celeste, she was cooler under pressure but Nancy scared her. Not because of anything she could do to her specifically, but because what she could do to her boys.
Chrissy reached out and laid her hand over Robin’s fidgeting ones. Robin let out a shuddered breath.
“Normally bands like theirs have teams and teams of people doing all the work,” Robin said, “but with the secrecy surrounding their identities the more people that know the easier it is for a leak.”
Nancy nodded. “It’s certainly not the usual thing. But I’ve got a few clients that are strict about their identities and it wouldn’t be a problem, but as I told Chrissy, I would have know everything about them so that I can do my upmost to protect them.”
“Did you sign the NDA?” Robin asked, straightening her spine. This was something she was good at. Protecting her boys and she would do it with the fierceness of a mother bear and her cubs.
Nancy picked up her briefcase and opened it up. She took out a folder and handed it to Robin. Robin looked it over and then nodded.
She stuck it in her purse and pulled out a hard portfolio and slid it across to Nancy. Chrissy squeezed her hand as Nancy read through the documents. Their food arrived in the interim and she set it aside. She steepled her hands and planted her elbows on the table.
“How much of this do you know?” she asked Chrissy.
“Only what I needed to which is who Celeste is,” she replied, “and that both her and Abbadon have a history with you that could be trouble for a lot of people, not just the band.”
Nancy nodded and took a bite of her food before saying anything else. Chrissy and Robin exchanged glances but started eating as well. More for something to do in the intervening silence than because they were actually interested in food at that moment.
After a few moments Nancy blotted her lips with her napkin and set it next to her plate. “This is not what I was expecting when I heard that you had concerns about my professionalism and in all honesty, this is easier to understand then a manager thinking they don’t need the help of an agent when they really do.”
Chrissy and Robin shared a glance.
“Is that something that’s common?” Chrissy asked. Corroded Coffin had already had Nancy as their agent when she became their manager five years ago. They had outgrown their former manager Murray Bauman and was looking for someone younger to manage them so they hired her.
Nancy nodded. “It is.” She turned to Robin. “You’re his best friend, right? The quirky band chick who was always working with him?”
Robin was impressed with her way of asking the question without revealing anything significant about their identity. She brought her finger up to her contact and moved it aside to show the blue underneath before sliding it back into place.
“I’m assuming I’m the last resort?” Nancy asked after taking another bite of food.
Robin and Chrissy shared another glance.
“Not in the way you mean,” Chrissy explained. “I gave her a list of agents that might be able to have them on as clients and we’ve met with a couple of them but decided even before they got to what’s in the folder that they weren’t suitable for their needs.”
“The double lives aspect, I suspect.”
“Both of them wanted to push them into revealing themselves,” Robin said, nodding. “Which was completely off the table.”
Nancy licked her bottom lip and her eyes narrowed. “Is that off the table indefinitely or will we circle back to that sometime in the future?”
Robin rolled her eyes. “There’s no way to predict if they’re going to change their mind five-six years down the line.”
“I’m going to be frank,” she said, “I do not have a problem repping them. Not even Abbadon. But I understand there will be some awkwardness on both sides at first. I will even apologize in person. Because the fact of the matter is, I did hurt him. I strung him along until something better came along and then didn’t even have the decency to break up with him before moving on. I was young and stupid and even worse, I’m not even with that guy anymore. Like with me and Abbadon, we wanted different things.”
“Apologize first,” Chrissy said with a wicked gleam in her eye, “then we’ll see about hiring you for The Fallen.”
Nancy reached out to shake Robin’s hand. “Deal?”
Robin nodded curtly. “Deal.”
They moved onto the more tedious aspects of what they wanted out of Nancy as they finished their meals.
But as Robin was heading back to her car she had a small satisfied smile on her face. Yes, this really was the best option for the band.
****
Because of canon-Chrissy's unhealthy relationship with food, I wanted her to go hard into eating all things that her mom most likely forbade her from eating growing up. Hence the steak and the wine. Nancy I figured would be at least vegetarian with personality (just the vibes I get from her *shrug*) and Robin would absolutely be vegan. Just not a militant one.
Tag List: 10 slots remaining
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1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence
3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006
4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten
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@useless-nb-bisexual
6- @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95
7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars
8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#rockstar eddie munson#rockstar steve harrington#rockstar au
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Political prompt!!
President Obi-Wan and political reporter Anakin get in a heated discussion in the press conference room that leads to some heated sex😏
Almost 2k words later and I bring you this little morsel! I had a ton of fun with this and really leaned into the West Wing vibes for it (I maintain that Charlie would make a great bodyman for President Kenobi). I hope you like it, friend!
Obi-Wan felt his nails dig painfully into his palms, but he was unable to release the tight fists. It was bad enough that someone had gone after a school - a school, children! - but for one of the press corps to accuse the administration of not investigating to their fullest potential. It was unfathomable. They had just received confirmation from a local health department that the recent string of illnesses at a Mandalore school district was from someone maliciously tampering with their water supply that morning. The federal government only just got asked to intervene.
What more could Obi-Wan have done? He had immediately quarantined the buildings and dispatched a third party investigatory team to the site. He contacted the CDC and WHO for support in quick and effective treatment for all those who have been affected. Hell, he even asked his bodyman to compile a list of names and contact information so he could make calls to all the families, personally.
All he could think about as he got each update was how easily it could have been Korkie, poisoned and in the hospital, if Satine hadn't brought him with her to Coruscant so she could be her best friend's Press Secretary. And now she was fending off accusations left and right by one man in particular.
Anakin Skywalker.
Though he was a relatively new member of the press corps, he was well on the way toward making a name for himself. Obi-Wan had been curious about the curly-haired reporter himself. Now he was only gritting his teeth and wishing the boy would just shut up.
“Does this administration have any excuses for why it's not taking action toward any of the suspected perpetrators?” Anakin's angry voice rang out through Obi-Wan's screen as he watched Satine deftly handle the angry man. Again.
He couldn't handle it any longer.
Quickly navigating the hallways in the West Wing, Obi-Wan didn't notice the wave of people standing as he approached and sitting after he moved past them. He made it to the reporters’ bullpen at the back of the Press Room in record time, and instructed an aide to hold Skywalker off after the reporters were dismissed. He wanted to answer some of his questions personally.
A guard kept the reporters from streaming past Obi-Wan, instead guiding them toward another door and out of the room, but allowed Satine to approach him.
“Don't do anything you'll regret, Obi. He's just an angry kid, he doesn't mean anything by it.”
He couldn't bring himself to answer her, but did squeeze her hand as she walked away, taking comfort in her corresponding embrace.
“Mr. Skywalker,” Obi-Wan walked into the mostly empty Press Room and gestured for the remaining staff to leave them. “I hear you have some questions about the incident in Mandalore. Rather than letting you continue harassing my staff, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to ask me your questions directly. Off the record.”
Anakin's face didn't change when he saw Obi-Wan walk in, he hadn't expected it to, but at the mention of the school poisoning anger flared up in his eyes once more.
“Gee, thanks, Kenobi-”
“President Kenobi.”
“-I do have a few questions for you. But it really all boils down to one; why are you sitting on your ass instead of doing something about the attack?”
Obi-Wan had to fight not to outwardly bristle at the accusation that he hadn't done anything. “I assure you, we are doing everything within our power to get to the bottom of this situation.”
“‘Doing everything in your power’?” Anakin mocked. “Please! You're all twiddling your thumbs until you can get an optics report so you don't lose face in the election cycle.”
A muscle in Obi-Wan's jaw twitched, but he let Anakin keep going.
“I really expected better from you Kenobi, this shitshow-”
“Enough.” Obi-Wan didn't raise his voice, but he let all the ice he'd been feeling in his veins since this whole situation started seep into his tone. “I am the President, and regardless of what you think of my actions you will address me as such and with the respect that position deserves. You will cease calling me ‘Kenobi’, you will call me ‘Mr. President,’ ‘President Kenobi,’ or ‘Sir.’”
It appeared that Anakin wanted to interrupt, so he held out a hand.
“Now. I don't give a damn about optics, especially regarding an attack on children. What I do care about is completing this investigation and prosecution quickly, thoroughly, and with as little impact on the victims as possible. I will not let this become a media storm, and I will not stand for you accosting my staff.” He looked at Skywalker for a moment before coming to a decision. “Were you aware that Press Secretary Kryze is from Mandalore? No? Well, prior to moving out here after my confirmation her son went to that school. She knows many of the children and parents, and in all likelihood she and her son would have been directly impacted were she not out here.”
Anakin finally had the audacity to look ashamed, quickly gazing down at the floor and scuffing the toe of his dress show against the carpet. His cheeks were beginning to turn pink, and Obi-Wan realized his own face felt warm and his breathing had become heavy. Throughout his lecture he had become more and more riled up, letting his famed control slip just a fraction, and it seemed to cause the boy in front of him to squirm.
Good.
While he took the time to catch his breath, Obi-Wan looked more closely at the reporter. He was fidgeting with the hem of his dress shirt - he vaguely recalled that it frequently became untucked as Skywalker used the edge to clean the lenses on his black-rimmed glasses - tugging it down lower and- oh.
Oh.
He was hard.
The thin slacks that fit snugly along thick thighs did little to hide the bulge that was now pressing along his inseam. Try as he might, there was nothing he could do to hide it from his President.
The silence finally stretched to its breaking point and Anakin looked up. His eyes were blown, pupils swallowing what Obi-Wan knew was a lovely shade of blue. “I'm sorry, sir,” he said in a small voice. “It won't happen again.”
Obi-Wan considered the stress he had been under for the past few days - really since he was sworn into office, but the additional stress of late hadn't been any help. With a deep exhale, he decided to test his luck and see if he couldn't partake in some stress relief while simultaneously ensuring this reporter really did learn his lesson.
He stepped closer to the young man, coming toe to toe and letting his breath fan across his face. “You're correct. It won't ever happen again. And we're going to make sure of that.”
Telegraphing his moves clearly so that Anakin could stop him at any time, Obi-Wan reached his hand out and cupped the nape of his neck, pulling their mouths together into a kiss that started chaste and quickly devolved from there.
Anakin let the older man's tongue slip into his mouth, submitting so beautifully, and followed his lead as Obi-Wan, President Kenobi, led him over to the podium at the head of the room. As quickly as the kiss had begun, it was over. Obi-Wan spun Anakin around and bent him at the waist, forcing him to brace himself against the podium with his forearms.
“Now, darling, let us see if we can really drive this lesson home.”
Obi-Wan reached around and unbuckled the reporter's belt before opening his fly and pulling his trousers and briefs down to mid-thigh.
He trailed one hand up the prone body before him and traced the plush lips. “Suck,” he said directly into Anakin's ear and felt the responding shiver as the younger man eagerly pulled the digits into his mouth. “That's a good lad.”
Thoroughly coated in saliva, Obi-Wan pulled his fingers back and let them fall to trace along the rim hidden between the perfect globes of Anakin's ass.
“Now relax,” he breathed as he slid one finger in to the knuckle.
Anakin's body quickly adjusted, and soon the single digit was joined by one, two, three more until Anakin was a panting, quivering mess.
“Please, Mr. President. I'm ready, I'm, uhn, ready.”
“Very good, darling.”
Despite his blood supply diverting to his aching cock, Obi-Wan quickly undid his own slacks and pulled himself out of the ever-tightening confines. He spit in his hand and slicked up his own length before pressing the head against Anakin's loosened hole.
“Are you sure you want to do this, dear one?”
“Yes, Mr. President. I want you. Please.”
Obi-Wan slowly pushed in and immediately felt a glorious heat surround him. It was addicting, and he found himself hoping he could have this again and again. Once he was fully seated he paused, waiting for Anakin to adjust to his formidable size. Only when he felt Anakin's hips push backward, trying to fuck himself on the cock filling him, did he start thrusting.
Soon the only sounds in the room were the obscene slap of their hips and Anakin's constant gasps and moans.
“President Kenobi, I'm gonna-” Anakin's sentence cut off with a moan.
“That's it, darling. Can you come like this?”
Anakin nodded and Obi-Wan increased his pace, frantically slamming into the body beneath his hands. As he looked down to watch his cock disappear into the reporter - his reporter? - he shifted his grip on those glorious hips so that he could dig his thumbs in and pull those plush cheeks apart. The slight jostling must have changed their positions just enough because Anakin let out a long and wordless groan, his arms giving out beneath him.
Obi-Wan continued to punish the younger man's prostate, chasing his own orgasm as much as he was his partners, when he felt muscles tense beneath his hands and around his length, Anakin letting out another cry as he spilled across the podium.
It only took one, two, three more frantic pumps before Obi-Wan felt his own release crash over him, hips stuttering as they worked to push his seed deep into his partner's willing body. When he finally felt the last dregs of his orgasm fade he let gravity pull his body on top of Anakin's on the podium, taking a moment to catch his breath before even contemplating slipping out of him.
“Thank you, Mr. President.” Though Anakin's voice was still a little shaky it sounded content and drowsy.
“I'm glad you've learned your lesson, Mr. Skywalker.”
He was forced out of Anakin as the younger man stood straighter and turned around. “I don't know, Mr. President. I'm a pretty slow learner. I might need another lecture.”
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, but straightened them both up nonetheless and led the infuriating reporter over to the Residence. He had a feeling it would take more than one more lecture and he found he was very amicable to the idea.
#smutty political obikin#obikin#obikin ficlet#guess i really cant call it a ficlet#obikin fanfic#distract me from the red mirage
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you went hard with this year's halloween costumes .... pls riel as chatgpt made me laugh so much 😭 BUT !!! i screamed BC I KNEW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE who had to think of nasubi when talking about halek .... now that we're talking about it though, how do you think all of the characters would react if they were put into a situation like that? personally, i think halek and chase would perform best — halek bc duh, chase bc i think he'd find some kind of loophole and rig the whole thing
Oooh good question! So to recap for everyone, "Nasubi" was a young man who was challenged to stay alone in a tiny, windowless apartment, naked, to see how long he could survive on sweepstakes winnings (aka writing in to magazine contests and sweepstakes and living off of the prizes they sent him in the event that he won). He wasn't allowed to leave the apartment until he accrued 1,000,000 yen's worth of prizes, a task which ultimately took him about 355 days to do. (He was also being filmed the whole time, but thought it was a recording for an eventual TV show and was unaware he was being live-streamed 24/7 to 30 million people... but we'll leave that part of this scenario for now.)
Blade: he would never have agreed to do this in the first place, but if he were forced to... he would have escaped and probably slaughtered some producers on his way out within the first hour
Trouble: he could do it!!! he'd probably cook up ingenious ways to game the system and find the most efficient way of getting prizes quickly. He'd probably just do it to see if he could do it.
Tallys: no. nothing is worth her dignity. but if she were forced to, she'd probably be able to play the long waiting game and could spend an indefinite amount of time in there in solitude. She'd probably find it relaxing! Like a meditation retreat!
Shery: she could do all of this except the nudity part. The nudity would make her exceptionally uncomfortable and she'd either beg to leave immediately or would never agree to the challenge to begin with. If forced, she'd probably spend a lot of time fashioning makeshift clothes for herself and might accidentally starve first lol
Riel: no. no. no. no. no. he would never agree to this, and if he were forced, he'd spend exactly one hour scheming the worst kind of revenge before immediately escaping and setting about making every person who was involved in this project suffer horrendously
Chase: he would agree to this for a lark, but would probably get bored and insanely starved of human contact (and distraction) by like the 5th day in. I can't predict him making it longer than a week before all of his pent-up energy popped like a firecracker and he burst out of the room (but like in a cool, unbothered way...) like a rabid animal
Red: he could do it! I think he'd handle it a lot like Nasubi lol but he'd be able to get through the whole trial with most of his sanity and dignity intact! He'd immediately turn his formidable mind to maximizing the efficiency of winning the prizes... and he'd probably spend a little time writing like a dissertation or something on the side LOL, like an academic retreat!
Ayla: she'd basically be like Chase, she'd say she could do it and would agree to the challenge just to prove she could do it, but she would get so bored and cranky that it would quickly lose its appeal and she would quit within ten days! Maybe fourteen days if the prize was really interesting!
Briony: she'd agree to it out of curiosity and trying to have a new experience, and I'd give it a 50/50 chance she'd be able to make it to like 4-6 months or quit immediately lol, like within a week!
Lavinet: no. no. no. no. she'd never agree to this, and if forced to, she'd either try to escape immediately or go on a hunger strike until they let her out or she died 😅
Halek: yes, he would be the best at this! this would be a very chill day job for him. there's a part of the documentary that they left out about how Nasubi is technically the first person to ever be live-streamed playing video games because at one point he did win a Playstation and a copy of like a train simulator called "Let's Ride a Train!" or something like that. And he had to forcefully stop himself from playing the game because if he played it too long, he'd run too low on food lol. That would be Halek too
#Shepherds of Haven#silly#but also sad because this really happened to somebody 🥲#hypothetical scenario
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