#If I bought a $12 waffle from a food truck and they were like 'hey do you want to upgrade? for only $5 we'll drizzle a teaspoon

[icewindandboringhorror]

It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...

[thicctoasts]

Now Entering: Breezy, West Virginia

CHAPTER ONE

"5 coffees please, the others will be here soon"

"Any creamer hun?"

She sighed knowingly, "yes, lots please. Thank you."

The pudgy waitress walked off with her notepad, never once looking up, or if she did, wasnt phased by what she saw.

She returned in no time with the coffees and the girl at the table muttered a thank you before turning to the jar of sugar at the table. Although she did lift the sugar with her hand, her spoon levitated as she flicked her wrist, stirring the sweet little rocks into the bitter dark void of her Waffle House mug.

Wait.

An eerie feeling crept up her spine. Who was watching her?

For the most part, she was alone, although the two men in the corner booth, obviously blitzed out of their skulls, gave her little reassurance.

"RAHH!"

Two arms wrapped around her middle suddenly from the booth behind her, causing her to yelp and send the spoon rocketing into the soft ceiling tiles, embedding itself with a soft 'thunk'.

A fit of laughter erupted from the booth out of her field of view, but given the wheezes, she could Identify that laugh nearly anywhere.

Still rigid from the startle, she turned around and glared at the figure writhing with laughter in the booth. "Bunny what the Devil is wrong with you!?"

Bunny wiped a tear from her eye, "HAHA gotcha K! Man, for a malevolent being you sure are easy to scare."

Bunny swung around into the booth beside K, placed a kiss on her cheek (a platonic ritual between the two that has been present for years) and picked up a laminated menu.

"The others going to be here soon?" Bunny asked, eyes scanning over the options of different waffles available.

"Yeah, Cyphus and Rose and Nola are all coming together tonight." K panned, taking a long draw of her coffee.

The waffle house was at the very edge of the small town, next to the truck stop where vacationers and haulers would stop for lunch and gas and be on their way. There wasn't much else in this area of town, no traffic lights, no other buildings, just the one main road that went in and out of Breezy, West Virginia in the span of about 10 minutes. Being close to 2am, however, the town and all its edges were virtually abandoned.

The cowbell above the door thunked, signaling someone else was here, and judging by the Crowd entering from the black of night, it was exactly who the two girls were waiting for. Nola finished tying her red-violet hair into a braid as she entered the threshold, careful not to knock her antlers on the sides. "Ew who let you two in here?" She joked as she took a seat on the bench across from the girls, immediately grabbing 3 creamers. Rose and Cyphus followed, Cyphus slithered to the waiting area and grabbed a chair to place at the end of the table. Her half-snake, half-human body never sat well in booth benches anyway. Her mottled skin seemed to enhance in hue and vibrancy as the plain black coffee passed her lips and she cradled the cup between her hands. Rose poured one creamer into her coffee and threw it back like a shot of hard liquor. It was often a hard gamble if Rose didnt have copious amounts of caffeine coursing through her veins at any time of the day. "You know Magic cant protect you from cardiac arrest." Bunny mumbled into her barely touched coffee. She raised her eyebrows, and motioned her half empty cup in Bunny's direction, "We'll see when we get to that point." She spoke with her characteristically neutral but sarcastic tone. The pudgy waitress came back, glanced up at the table consisting of 2 witches, a demon, a monster, and an urban legend, and sighed as she looked back at her notepad. Her fading red lipstick moved as she droned, "Yall ready to order?" As she tacked on her well meaning customer service smile.

The collection straight from a ghost hunting blog ordered their food, got refills on coffee, and began to wait. Bunny pulled off her dark red beanie- her favorite, as it fit her head and was made by a friend- and her large rabbit-like ears flopped out and instantly twitched, shook, and perked up. "Guys! You'll never believe what I found at the thrift store!" She shuffled in her small backpack under the table and pulled out a clunky, black box with a massive lense.

K's eyes widened as she grabbed the box, "Holy shit is that an old Polaroid? Does it still work?"

"Yeah it does! I took a couple practice pictures with some film I bought for it! It works great! I wonder why someone would donate this?" Bunny mused while pointing the camera at her friends and looking at them through the viewfinder.

The waitress came back with the plates of their food, Dark Lunch as the group called it, (past a midnight snack, but before breakfast), and glanced up at the camera before placing Nola's peanut butter waffle down in front of her.

"Polaroid, huh? Havent seen one of those in a long time. It still work?"

Bunny smiled and nodded as her ears flopped along with her head.

"I can take y'alls picture if ya want." She offered, taking the camera as it was handed to her. The mishmashed family grouped together over the table and smiled, some making silly smiles and the others looking more stoic and calm. Right as the camera clicked and flashed, the door-bell thanked, and all 12 eyes flashed to the two police officers in the doorway.

"Evening Brady, Finchworth."

"Evening Diane." The taller officer spoke, taking off his hat and running his fingers through his cropped, though curly red hair. The two officers took the seats at the bar, the shorter officer staying quiet and opting to smile and wave at the monster mash, rather than speak up like officer Brady. "Good evening ladies," Brady said with his comforting smile, "how darks the coffee tonight, Cyphus?"

Cyphus chuckled at the very accurate comment and mused, "almost as dark as the bags under your eyes, Brady!" He smirked and took a sip of the water the waitress brought him without asking. The entire town of Breezy knew Officer Brady was the glue holding the towns laws, domestic issues, and even acting as a court official. He works countless hours, works near constant overtime, and rarely has a day off.

The photo was finally printing out of the Polaroid. Bunny took it and shook it as she turned to her snake friend. "Oh leave him alone Cyph. Hes the hardest working soul in this town! Without him and the others Breezy would turn into Lord of the Flies in a matter of days." She exaggerated sarcastically, but as she did, it was always with a grain of truth. "Hey, Brady! You guys made it into our photo!" She teased as she held it up and turned around in her booth to face the policemen.

"Oh honey we're sorry, I could take another one for you? Hey is that a Polaroid?" He and officer Finchworth looked curiously at the little square photo.

"No, no! It's okay! You guys are here nearly as much as us, you belong in the picture too. It's good!" Bunny giggled and smiled at the officers and the photo before passing it around the table then placing it in her bag.

Around 10 minutes passed, filled with banter, chatter of the day, and consuming the unhealthy amount of cheese and hashbrowns they ordered collectively.

Seeing as everything was attended to, Diane, the waitress, leaned over the counter to speak to the men.

"Hows that case been going for you boys? Any new leads?"

"Not a one." Finchworth shook his head and placed his somewhat round chin in his hand. "Just another call about holes in the ground."

Rose looked up from her eggs and froze, listening.

"Another one?" Diane huffed, clearly empathizing with Finchworth's frustration.

Officer Brady piped in, "yeah! The Eugene's farm this time. Big, deep gashes in the crop fields that hurt the plants and the livestock. Everything is fine except the topsoil and earth is all charred and burnt. Sometimes the animals fall in and get hurt or they get burnt too. But theres no evidence of anybody. No kids with lighters or shovels, not a trace of anything."

The air grew tense as Officer Brady's eyes flitted over to lock with Rose's now wide ones.

"What?" Brady challenged, with fear edging his voice.

"That's been happening to other people too?" Rose swallowed heavily. "Its been happening on the edges of my property in the woods. My cats are afraid to go outside and my birds wont nest in the trees because they're afraid more will fall."

Officer Brady dug in his pocket for his notepad and pen.

"Rose, hun," he stood up and motioned to the door, eyes a little too wide for comfort, "step outside with me please."

[nebwv]

Now Entering: Breezy, West Virginia

CHAPTER ONE

“5 coffees please, the others will be here soon”

“Any creamer hun?”

She sighed knowingly, “yes, lots please. Thank you.”

The pudgy waitress walked off with her notepad, never once looking up, or if she did, wasnt phased by what she saw.

She returned in no time with the coffees and the girl at the table muttered a thank you before turning to the jar of sugar at the table. Although she did lift the sugar with her hand, her spoon levitated as she flicked her wrist, stirring the sweet little rocks into the bitter dark void of her Waffle House mug.

Wait.

An eerie feeling crept up her spine. Who was watching her?

For the most part, she was alone, although the two men in the corner booth, obviously blitzed out of their skulls, gave her little reassurance.

“RAHH!”

Two arms wrapped around her middle suddenly from the booth behind her, causing her to yelp and send the spoon rocketing into the soft ceiling tiles, embedding itself with a soft ‘thunk’.

A fit of laughter erupted from the booth out of her field of view, but given the wheezes, she could Identify that laugh nearly anywhere.

Still rigid from the startle, she turned around and glared at the figure writhing with laughter in the booth. “Bunny what the Devil is wrong with you!?”

Bunny wiped a tear from her eye, “HAHA gotcha K! Man, for a malevolent being you sure are easy to scare.”

Bunny swung around into the booth beside K, placed a kiss on her cheek (a platonic ritual between the two that has been present for years) and picked up a laminated menu.

“The others going to be here soon?” Bunny asked, eyes scanning over the options of different waffles available.

“Yeah, Cyphus and Rose and Nola are all coming together tonight.” K panned, taking a long draw of her coffee.

The waffle house was at the very edge of the small town, next to the truck stop where vacationers and haulers would stop for lunch and gas and be on their way. There wasn’t much else in this area of town, no traffic lights, no other buildings, just the one main road that went in and out of Breezy, West Virginia in the span of about 10 minutes. Being close to 2am, however, the town and all its edges were virtually abandoned.

The cowbell above the door thunked, signaling someone else was here, and judging by the Crowd entering from the black of night, it was exactly who the two girls were waiting for. Nola finished tying her red-violet hair into a braid as she entered the threshold, careful not to knock her antlers on the sides. “Ew who let you two in here?” She joked as she took a seat on the bench across from the girls, immediately grabbing 3 creamers. Rose and Cyphus followed, Cyphus slithered to the waiting area and grabbed a chair to place at the end of the table. Her half-snake, half-human body never sat well in booth benches anyway. Her mottled skin seemed to enhance in hue and vibrancy as the plain black coffee passed her lips and she cradled the cup between her hands. Rose poured one creamer into her coffee and threw it back like a shot of hard liquor. It was often a hard gamble if Rose didnt have copious amounts of caffeine coursing through her veins at any time of the day. “You know Magic cant protect you from cardiac arrest.” Bunny mumbled into her barely touched coffee. She raised her eyebrows, and motioned her half empty cup in Bunny’s direction, “We’ll see when we get to that point.” She spoke with her characteristically neutral but sarcastic tone. The pudgy waitress came back, glanced up at the table consisting of 2 witches, a demon, a monster, and an urban legend, and sighed as she looked back at her notepad. Her fading red lipstick moved as she droned, “Yall ready to order?” As she tacked on her well meaning customer service smile.

The collection straight from a ghost hunting blog ordered their food, got refills on coffee, and began to wait. Bunny pulled off her dark red beanie- her favorite, as it fit her head and was made by a friend- and her large rabbit-like ears flopped out and instantly twitched, shook, and perked up. “Guys! You’ll never believe what I found at the thrift store!” She pulled her small backpack out from under the table, unzipping it, and rifling through the contents of the seemingly bottomless bag. Carelessly, she pulled out a rubber ducky, a lighter, a hairbrush, a large kitchen knife- K happened to glance over the second the knife hit the table, eyes widening and her face stuttering in shock before teleporting the knife to who knows where before Bunny or the staff could notice. After a large collection of miscellaneous objects have been dumped on the table, Bunny lets out a small “aha!” and pulls out a clunky, black box with a massive lens.

K’s eyes widened as she grabbed the box, “Holy shit is that an old Polaroid? Does it still work?”

“Yeah it does! I took a couple practice pictures with some film I bought for it! It works great! I wonder why someone would donate this?” Bunny mused while pointing the camera at her friends and looking at them through the viewfinder.

The waitress came back with the plates of their food, Dark Lunch as the group called it, (past a midnight snack, but before breakfast), and glanced up at the camera before placing Nola’s peanut butter waffle down in front of her.

“Polaroid, huh? Havent seen one of those in a long time. It still work?”

Bunny smiled and nodded as her ears flopped along with her head.

“I can take y'alls picture if ya want.” She offered, taking the camera as it was handed to her. The mishmashed family grouped together over the table and smiled, some making silly smiles and the others looking more stoic and calm. Right as the camera clicked and flashed, the door-bell thanked, and all 12 eyes flashed to the two police officers in the doorway.

“Evening Brady, Finchworth.”

“Evening Diane.” The taller officer spoke, taking off his hat and running his fingers through his cropped, though curly red hair. The two officers took the seats at the bar, the shorter officer staying quiet and opting to smile and wave at the monster mash, rather than speak up like officer Brady. “Good evening ladies,” Brady said with his comforting smile, “how darks the coffee tonight, Cyphus?”

Cyphus chuckled at the very accurate comment and mused, “almost as dark as the bags under your eyes, Brady!” He smirked and took a sip of the water the waitress brought him without asking. The entire town of Breezy knew Officer Brady was the glue holding the towns laws, domestic issues, and even acting as a court official. He works countless hours, works near constant overtime, and rarely has a day off.

The photo was finally printing out of the Polaroid. Bunny took it and shook it as she turned to her snake friend. “Oh leave him alone Cyph. Hes the hardest working soul in this town! Without him and the others Breezy would turn into Lord of the Flies in a matter of days.” She exaggerated sarcastically, but as she did, it was always with a grain of truth. “Hey, Brady! You guys made it into our photo!” She teased as she held it up and turned around in her booth to face the policemen.

“Oh honey we’re sorry, I could take another one for you? Hey is that a Polaroid?” He and officer Finchworth looked curiously at the little square photo.

“No, no! It’s okay! You guys are here nearly as much as us, you belong in the picture too. It’s good!” Bunny giggled and smiled at the officers and the photo before passing it around the table then placing it in her bag.

Around 10 minutes passed, filled with banter, chatter of the day, and consuming the unhealthy amount of cheese and hashbrowns they ordered collectively.

Seeing as everything was attended to, Diane, the waitress, leaned over the counter to speak to the men.

“Hows that case been going for you boys? Any new leads?”

“Not a one.” Finchworth shook his head and placed his somewhat round chin in his hand. “Just another call about holes in the ground.”

Rose looked up from her eggs and froze, listening.

“Another one?” Diane huffed, clearly empathizing with Finchworth’s frustration.

Officer Brady piped in, “yeah! The Eugene’s farm this time. Big, deep gashes in the crop fields that hurt the plants and the livestock. Everything is fine except the topsoil and earth is all charred and burnt. Sometimes the animals fall in and get hurt or they get burnt too. But theres no evidence of anybody. No kids with lighters or shovels, not a trace of anything.”

The air grew tense as Officer Brady’s eyes flitted over to lock with Rose’s now wide ones.

“What?” Brady challenged, with fear edging his voice.

“That’s been happening to other people too?” Rose swallowed heavily. “Its been happening on the edges of my property in the woods. My cats are afraid to go outside and my birds wont nest in the trees because they’re afraid more will fall.”

Officer Brady dug in his pocket for his notepad and pen.

“Rose, hun,” he stood up and motioned to the door, eyes a little too wide for comfort, “step outside with me please.”

[mnranger5]

Boys Fishing Weekend, Mille Lacs Lake, 8/11/17 & 8/12/17

Boys weekend 2017 kicked off on Friday afternoon when Jesse and Zach rolled into Apple Valley to pick us up.  Our plan for the weekend was to head up to Mil Lacs and catch some nice smallmouth bass. The forecast looked perfect, with temps in the upper 70’s and plenty of sunshine.   Jesse just bought a brand new 20 foot Warrior, and we could not wait to test it out on the big waters.

Zach and Aidan had never met before, and hit it off immediately as Jesse made his way through the Minneapolis congestion.  They played on their iPads for the first hour before dozing off.

At 7PM we rolled into Mora and stopped at DQ for dinner.  While Jesse, Zach and I had smaller portion meals, Aidan went all in with the Flamethrower Double Bacon Cheese GrillBurger 

and finished it off with the Triple Chocolate Brownie!  

Aidan went beast mode on this dinner and finished before any of the rest of us!

We rolled into McQuoid’s lakeside resort around 8PM.  The parking lot had a couple of Bassmaster Elite series pro trucks sitting in it – Fletcher Shryrock and Jay Brainard.  The kids were stoked and wanted to meet Brainard who was sitting in his boat and working on tackle.  The kids walked up to greet him and he just started talking to us like we were long lost friends!  Jay recently had a baby so he took the Elite season off to spend time with his family. He’s from Oklahoma, and decided to come to Mil Lacs for a couple of months to be the resident fishing guide for McQuoid’s.  He gave us some great info and bait suggestions, however, did warn us that fishing had been lights out for the past week before shutting down two days prior. He said he had hardly any bites in his guided trip earlier in the day, but the bites he had were good ones.  As we were heading into McQuoid’s to check-in, he stopped us and gave each kid an autographed 8x10 picture – complete with a Philippians 4:13 reference.  “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  Super cool!

We were quickly checked in. Next stop, the lake!  The public boat access is directly next door to McQuoid’s. I dumped Jesse and the kids into the lake and returned the truck/trailer back to McQuoid’s parking lot (blue line), while Jesse ran the boat over to McQuoid’s docks (red line).

In the 3 minutes it took for me to go  from the launch, to the parking lot and walk down to the lake, I missed out on what was arguably the best story of the weekend.  As I approached the boat, there was a lot of ruckus going on with Jesse and the kids.  Jesse yelled out to me, “Aidan fell in the lake!”  At first I thought it was a joke.  But as I got closer, I could see that he was sopping wet. 

Here is how it happend:  As Jesse was approaching the dock, he asked Aidan and Zach to grab on and hold a dock post.  Aidan got the front post, and Zach the back post.  While Jesse was tinkering in the back of the boat, the front end of the boat began to pull away from the dock.  Aidan for some reason was just holding the post, instead of holding the boat against the post.  As the boat slowly pulled away, Aidan leaned farther and farther out over the water to maintain connection with the post.  At some point, Jesse looked up at Aidan, noticing the boat drifting away. But it was too late.  Aidan was too far out over the water to maintain his balance.  His arms were not long enough to bridge the widening gap between the boat and the dock. They locked eyes momentarily. Jesse was at a loss for words. This was happening.  Aidan crashed into the water going completely under, but never losing his flat bill.  When he popped up above water, it was like deer in the headlights.  “What had just happened?”   Jesse jumped up to the front of the boat, grabbing Aidan by the life jacket.  Jesse heaved with all his might, but the wet noodle was way too heavy to dead lift from the water.  Jesse yelled out to Aidan that he needed to help by pulling himself in while Jesse was lifting.  With Jesse’s helpful hand. Aidan pulled himself into the boat and stood there – probably a bit embarrassed, but more shocked than anything.  That is when I came walking down the hill.

I took Aidan up to the room to get him dry clothes, and we were back in the boat 10 minutes later, taking the channel out to the big lake.

The sun was setting so we didn’t have a lot of time to fish.  Jesse’s Warrior has all the gadgets, including iPilot, which kept us slowly trolling down a specific contour line. 

We pulled up on the west side of Malone Island and fished the shallow and deep side on the drop off.  

On Jesse’s first cast, he hooked up with this nice smallmouth. 

Unfortunately, it was our only fish of the night.  We headed back to McQuoid’s for the evening.

Morning came early. Jesse and I were up at 6AM, while the kids snoozed.

After a hurried waffle-breakfast in the lobby we headed out to the lake.  I am happy to announce that nobody fell in the lake on day 2.

We had planned to target the numerous rock piles on the southeast corner of the lake.  We got the kids all set up.  They wanted to cast crankbaits and jig worms.  Once they were content, Jesse and I half heartedly began casting.  On my first cast with the drop shot, I caught this small rock bass – not what I was looking for, but hey, it created some excitement in the boat.

We covered many areas near Isle, but the bite was slow.  The kids would make about a dozen casts without picking up a bite and want to change lures.  Jesse and I must have ran though our entire tackleboxes constantly switching out chatterbaits, spoons, spinnerbaits, frogs, buzzbaits, worms, cranks, rattle-traps, jerkbaits, creature baits, jigs and swimbaits.  

By 10, they were just starting to get restless.  The sun was shining, and temps must have been creeping north of the forecasted high.  It was getting hot.  Jesse had bought the kids some fun neck and face buffs (to keep the sun off of them) before the trip, and the kids loved how they looked.

Zach suggested we troll for walleye or pike.  Okay.  Jesse got his trolling rods out and got us all set up.  After 10 minutes of trolling (and no bites), the kids were antsy. They wanted to cast again!  Jesse and I looked at each other.  No words needed to be spoken, I know the look of frustration on another parent’s face.  No words were necessary in that moment…

It was 11, and we didn’t want to lose the kids due to lack of bites.  We needed a pick-me-up.  Food is always a good call!  We headed over to Mac’s Twin Bay for a quick lunch.  While at lunch, we talked to a couple of guys that apparently had been catching them shallow all morning.   So we adjusted our afternoon game plan and decided we’d try to find the brown fish in the shallows.

We headed back to Malone Island and fished shallower than we had the evening prior.   Using some Berkley Gulp natural colored worms, Jesse hooked into this nice little smallmouth.  

About 20 minutes later, he followed his catch up with this nice little 16” walleye.  

While taking this picture,  you can see Zach in the background setting the hook into a walleye of his own.  

It was the first double of the day!  Attitudes were fantastic.I had been a bit worried that with four people casting out of the same boat - we could have easily gotten somebody hooked during a back cast.   But the boys were doing an amazing job of carefully casting.  Zach even had a backwards over the head cast that was as safe as could be, yet as strange as any cast you’ve ever seen.  We all got a kick out of how well he was doing it! 

Toward the end of the day, the little wind we had earlier had completely died off and the temps had inched over the 90 degree mark.  It was hot.   We headed out to the mud flats to see if we could lindy rig for some larger walleyes, but the lack of wind made it difficult. Aidan was the only one who had not caught a fish.  At the very end of the day, Jesse hooked into a giant fish and handed the rod to Aidan (which was super cool of Jesse).  Aidan fought the fish which was 30-some feet below the boat.  The fish was so large, Aidan could not keep the rod tip up.  The rod was completely doubled over as the fish hunkered down behind the boat.  I helped Aidan keep his rod tip in the air as Jesse tried to keep the line out of the big motor.  With the kids more interested in seeing the fish than assisting with the catch, they both strained over the back end of the boat all while I tried keeping the rod up, and Jesse retrieved the net.  Finally, We got the fish to surface right next to the motor.  It was a GIANT walleye in the high 20’s (inches), or possibly low 30’s.  But, it made one head shake while on the surface, and shook the hook.  The fish was gone.  Aidan was disappointed, actually, we were all disappointed, because we had just lost a wall-mounter. But, it was still a fun fight, and everybody got a chance to see it on the surface.  

Around 5PM, we loaded up the boat and headed home.  The kids traded iPads on the way home and enjoyed playing games that the other had downloaded.  In all, there was lots of laughs, a few fish caught and a new friendship in the making.  When asked, both kids said they really hoped we would do a boys fishing trip again, soon!