#Idk why this popped up in my head this morning it's just something that bothers me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
There's a thing that's always bothered me when meeting other trans folk for the first time, where relatively often the first thing they think to ask me or talk about is my medical history, like asking my hormone regimen or how long I've been on hormones. That or the one time the first question someone asked was "how is your relationship with your parents"
I have many hobbies and interests and things I love, I am so much more than my medical transition
When I went on my first date with Eve it was so refreshing, we talked for hours about movies and books and hobbies and things we loved, not once were our medical histories brought up
#Obviously it's different when I'm being approached for help or advice on medical stuff#I don't mind the topic I just don't want it brought up immediately when we are meeting for the first time#As friends or as a date or whatever#Idk why this popped up in my head this morning it's just something that bothers me
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
fizzy pop
– yn has a habit of bottling up their emotions, chan comforts them & explains the importance of communicating about feelings/emotions.
pairing | bang chan x gender neutral reader
genre | angst w comfort – 18+ is strongly advised!
cw | established relationship, mental health (low moods, low/no motivation, lose of interest in hobbies/things), pet names.
words | 2k ~ ( 2,042 )
notes | idk why but i've been putting off on posting this for months, maybe bc im nervous 🤔 don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
m.list — wips list — you can also read it on my ao3
dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
it's just another day. another day of just being there. another day of feeling like you have no purpose in life except to please others. another day of wondering “what is the purpose of me being here?” you fake smiles, say you're "ok" because saying how you actually feel is exhausting.
aside from it feeling exhausting, you also don't want to draw attention to yourself and when you do speak, you feel stupid for doing so, so you keep it all in, bottle it up until it's too much for you to handle. some days you wonder why you even bother to get out off bed.
is it because of the birds you hear outside? the sun's heat that you want to feel on your skin? could it be the laughter and chitter chatter of others? or maybe you want to hear the rain on the leaves–who knows. all you know is that everyday is the same and it's tiring.
the days merge into one. what day is it even? monday? tuesday? oh wait, it's saturday morning. time doesn't exist anymore. in your mind you see no point in getting up out of bed because again, what's the point?
so why is it that your boyfriend is gently shaking you, asking, no, begging you to get up.
“darlin'. please get up.” chan whispers as he gently shakes you by the shoulders. you sigh deeply, a tired sigh that causes chan to swallow and his suspicions to come to light.
you pull the duvet over your head, body curled in a small and fragile ball. the curtains are still drawn providing darkness despite the morning rays that wish to peak inside.
chan has been up since the crack of dawn. he has showered, made breakfast and managed to get dressed. he gave you some extra time to sleep in because he knows you're not a morning person but when the number nine on his watch turned to twelve and you're still not up and out, does he grow concerned.
he's had his suspicions for a while. he's noticed how defeated you sound. how there is little to no energy in the words you speak. he's tried everything to cheer you up, thinking, hoping you were just having an off day. but that off day turned into an off week which slowly, but surely, turned into an off month.
you lost your passion for being creative, lost the will to make anything which you despise. being creative is one of the many pleasures you have in life, to be able to make something and share your creations with others is exhilarating but when you feel like this, your mood turns bitter and cold towards everything you do which results in you resenting everything you create.
you lost the energy to speak to people. to pick up the phone and just talk. you're not deliberately ignoring nor trying to be difficult but keeping conversations flowing is just too hard right now and when you think they're giving you the same energy back do you feel so guilty.
what have i done to deserve this? why am i forced to feel like this. you find yourself questioning everything late at night. your head loud as soon as it hits the pillow and no amount of music you blast down your ears can silence those thoughts.
everything is so exhausting. everything is the same. you just want to disappear whether that be for a few days or forever, you're not quite sure, but certain people around you wont allow that to happen. they are keeping you afloat, head above water. you desperately and silently wish they never let you go, no matter how hard you fight and push them away.
“baby, please.” chan's words dripped with desperation. his knees on the bed behind you as he kneels causing the mattress to dip. his hands on your shoulders gently as his eyes bore into the duvet, burning holes into it until he is burning holes into you. tears threaten to spill down his soft cheeks as he becomes increasingly worried for you.
“chan..“ you whisper, your words shaking. “please.. leave me alone.”
he swallows. those three last words he hates to hear. now he is left in a difficult position. should he do as you say and leave you? leave you to fester and rot in your own thoughts and feelings. watch you melt into the mattress and become nothing but a lifeless shell. or should he force himself, force you to acknowledge him. show you, tell you that's it's going to be ok–even if you don't believe him in the beginning.
but this is chan and you know more than anyone how stubborn chan can be.
“lets go take a shower yn, together! and maybe we can go out and get lunch at that café you love so much?”
silence.
“or how about we go to that art shop! pick up those water colours you've been eyeing up for months?”
silence.
“ok well, what about some new cloth–”
“chan please!” you snap, causing him to jump. “what part of leave me alone don't you understand?!”
you don't mean to sound harsh and you hope chan doesn't take it to heart. the last thing you want is to hurt the one person you adore so much. luckily, chan knows you don't mean it but it doesn't hurt him any less.
“all of it.” he softly speaks. you feel the weight being lifted up off the mattress and footsteps against the wood flooring before the bedroom door squeaks open at the hinges.
your heart breaks. hot angry tears finally being set free and rolling down the bridge of your nose and cheeks, soaking into the material of your pillow. you sob, curling up into a ball even more as your heart aches in your chest. you grip onto the pillow as you silently cry out for chan, thinking he has completely left you alone.
but you did ask for it so why do you feel so guilty?
the duvet gets pulled back from you, the cold air hitting your hot and sweaty skin. the mattress dips once again as an arm snakes over your midriff. chest being pressed against your back as chan spoons you.
“don't cry, darlin'. i'm here, your channie is here.” his soft words provide you with a sense of comfort and an indescribable feeling of warmth as well as relief. his hand strokes your soft stomach, his lips kissing your neck so tenderly you worry that he isn't really there.
“c-chan…” you sob through your words as a way of confirmation. you can't breathe, the pain of everything that's built up over the past months is making it impossible for you to breathe. your mind fogs over as your chest heaves up and down.
you struggle to take breaths as tears stream down your face. your pillow becomes soaked with your tears. chan strokes your unwashed hair gently, hushing you and singing softly to help ground you.
“sh sh sh. you're ok, you're safe.” he whispers.
“sorry! i'm sorry!” you repeat over and over again in your fits of tears. chan continues to hush you, noticing that it's not working so he gently rolls you over to face him and pulls you into his naked chest.
the warmth and softness of his skin calms you down in an instant. his natural scent hugs your nostrils and sinks into your heart, soothing your heartbeat as well as your mind. you grip onto him, desperately trying to cling onto something before resulting in wrapping your arms around him tightly.
he gives you a bear hug. arms around your shoulders gently, fingers raking and massaging your scalp. his chest wet with tears as he continues to hush you through your episode.
there isn't much he can do when you're crying like this except wait. wait for it to pass–and it does, fifteen minutes later.
“better?” he gently asks. you peer up at him to notice that his own cheeks are wet with a few tears slowly falling.
“you're crying..” you whisper as you reach up and wipe the tears away. chan laughs softly before leaning into your touch. “why?”
“because it pains me to see you like this, my love.” that guilt comes back, settling in your stomach and wrapping itself around your heart, like black fog. you look down, tears falling from your lower lash line.
“sorry..” you mumble.
“hey.” chan unwraps his arms from you to gently lift up your head. “it hurts because i can't do anything about it. it hurts because i love you! seeing you in so much pain is rough darling. and it's not physical pain either, it's not like i can put a band aid on your wound.”
“i'm sorry i'm like this, chan. sorry i'm so difficult and such a disappointment.”
“oi.” his tone of voice turns stern which causes you to look up at him. his brows furrowed together as he reaches and strokes your cheek. “you're not a disappointment or difficult baby. it's ok to feel like this, to have off days and feel like nothing is right, however, you have to come to me when you feel like this! or if you can't come to me, talk to a friend.”
“but i hate talking about my feelings, chan.. i feel like a burden and that it just bores people and when i do confined in people, it feels like i don't get the comfort i expect to get so i'm left thinking if it's worth it and if i just expect too much from people.”
“what have i told you about bottling things up, mhm?”
“that it's just going to keep building and building until i explode.” you mumble to which chan hums and nods too
“imagine you're a bottle of fizzy pop. your body is the bottle, your feelings are the fizzy liquid. what happens when you shake a bottle of fizzy pop?”
“it bubbles and explodes, creating a huge mess.”
“and what happens when you bottle your feelings up?”
“i get shaken up by the smallest of things, which causes me to bubble and explode..”
“mhm. you have to remember, my darling, that how you feel is valid. your feelings are valid. you might seem like it's something so small or stupid, but that something small could build and build and build.”
“so i should come to you whenever i feel negative?”
“yes.”
“even if i'm frustrated at a piece of work? even if i can't get a recipe right and it annoys me?”
“yes.”
“but that is so small and not as important..”
“yn, if it's bothering you then it's big. if it's bothering you, it's important to me. if you feel angry, upset, energy less, i beg that you come to me or to a friend! it's important that we voice these things, let it be known because you'll feel better.” he tucks your hair behind your ear gently before you nuzzle into his chest, thinking about what he's saying.
he is correct. he always is and that's the thing that sometimes bothers you, but in a good way! it just means that you can't hide anything from chan, whether it's good or bad and when you are feeling down, chan is always there to pick you back up and dust you off, providing you with love and comfort.
“shall we go shower together to start the day?”
“isnt it a bit late for that? besides, hasn't your day already started?” you mumble against his chest.
“it's never too late to start the day and besides, i don't mind ‘restarting’ my day if it means i get to do it with you.” he kisses the top of your head gently, stroking your back as you tangle your legs with his.
“soon.”
“soon?” he questions.
“i just want to spend some more minutes with you..”
“we can spend as many minutes together as you like, my darling. as long as you're happy and content.”
“i'm always happy and content with you, chan. you're my safe space.”
“and i hope i continue to be and provide you with that safe space, yn.”
#kwritersworldnet#wkcnet#straykidsland#skz angst#skz comfort#stray kids angst#stray kids comfort#bang chan#chan#chan x you#chan x reader#bang chan x you#bang chan x reader#skz x you#skz x reader#stray kids x you#stray kids x reader
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
Demons and Savages
pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)
content warnings: graphic language, violence, alien vs human differences, awkward friendship?, tension, angst, vulgarity. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)
word count: …idk :D
pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)
< previous chapter
———🌌———
SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.
when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.
the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.
truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.
the blue shadow with the bow.
chapter two
— cowboy —
you should have linked to your avatar body sooner. the morning had nearly passed by the time you opened your eyes and stirred in your hammock. when you rose, he was waiting.
he had been waiting.
for hours.
anger made him look volatile. his tail flicked behind him as he watched you climb out from your hammock. you nearly tripped over your own feet trying to rub the daze of shifting into this larger, still-stiff body from your eyes.
“i’m sorry…” you said as you approached. you dipped your head and signed, ‘i see you’ to him. when his demeanor did not change, you swallowed around the lump in your throat. “really, i’m sorry. i don’t have much control over when i can and can’t be connected to my body.”
tsu’tey flicked his head and you knew to start marching.
he was kind enough to have saved you breakfast. dried fruits and nuts. you picked at them within the pouch he stored them in as you walked through the forest together. you offered him some as an attempt at making peace. to your surprise, he took a handful and poured them into his mouth. it was silent as you walked.
well, not for very long.
you had a bad habit of blabbering when tension arose— and you could feel the negativity radiating off him like the old story of chernobyl you knew about.
“how long have you been up for?” you asked, shooting a glance his way.
tsu’tey popped more pieces of dried fruit into his mouth and grunted. “sunrise.”
guilt made your stomach hurt.
“i really am sorry. i hope you understand that there is a strict schedule i follow. if i don’t, i risk killing myself. water? food? sleep? it’s all stuff my real body needs, too.” you said.
“i am not angry you are late, skxawng. i care not for what you do. im angry my day revolves around you. why i must be the one to teach you is not something i am happy with. i have other tasks i would rather see to. hunting. training warriors who are soon to pass their iknimaya.” tsu’tey said gruffly, not bothering to look at you.
your expression soured and you scowled at him. “you can teach me to be a warrior, too.”
“ha,” tsu’tey laughed. a real laugh. it lit up his face and made his ears perk up. he looked at you and shook his head. “you really are a skxawng.”
“eywa may have given me a sign not to shoot you down with my bow but it changes nothing. i see what you truly are, demon, even with all your practiced knowledge.”
“you are not real.”
you could only stare at him. your throat went dry. your heart shuddered in your chest. your voice was no where to be found— but what could ever be said to that?
nothing. because he was right.
“then why bother with all this?”
tsu’tey turned, stopping dead in his tracks. his tail flicked. “what?”
“why did you save me from the nantang?” you asked outright. you swallowed the fruit you had in your mouth with trouble and tried to keep your chin up. “if you know what i am, why bother saving me? you could’ve let me get torn apart. it wouldn’t have been you who killed me. no blame on you. why did you save me?”
tsu’tey let his shoulders drop. when he met your eyes, he looked at you. into you.
“eywa did not want you dead,” he said. his voice was too soft. he sounded like an entirely different person. a hopeless believer. “the atokirina landed on my arrowhead before it floated down to you. it kept me from firing that shot. it was a sign. you were to live.”
“when it floated around you, i knew what the great mother expected of me when the nantang attacked you.” tsu’tey said as he approached.
you stiffened as he stood in front of you. you had to tilt your head back to see him clearly. “and what…what is it that she expected?”
you winced when he grabbed your hand even though it didn’t hurt. not in the slightest. he touched your extra finger. he fought a scowl, his face twitching. he looked into your eyes and — for a second time — he was staring into you.
“i am to protect you…” tsu’tey muttered. he almost rolled his eyes as a heavy sigh escaped him. “it has been decided by eywa and by the tsahik. eywa is greater than my feelings. the great mother is greater than our differences. demon or not, you have been chosen for something and it is my job to make sure you don’t kill yourself, skxawng.”
“i— i’ve been chosen for something? what?” you asked, grasping his hand. you needed answers. you needed to know all that he knew.
tsu’tey pulled his hand from yours and shook it at his side as if it burned. his scowl returned with vengeance. it twisted his face in a way that was all too familiar. you almost preferred his scowl. you expected his harshness. you had no idea what to make of his gentler voice and softened features.
“i do not know.” tsu’tey said. his voice was tight in his throat. his tail flicked behind him. “i am not capable of interpreting eywa’s will. i am only a warrior.”
“and i can make you one, too, if that is what you wish to be.”
you looked up at him. your ears and tail betrayed you. your tail wouldn’t stay still and your ears stood at attention. excitement tickled your belly.
“really?” you asked, almost bracing yourself for a sudden change in his heart.
tsu’tey grunted and looked away. “it serves as a better use of my time teach you how to fight and hunt rather than help you string beads and teach you how to sing.”
“and if i choose to be a singer?” you asked, raising one of your eyebrows.
“then there are many songs for you to learn, demon,” tsu’tey said with a shake of his head. “but you will learn to ride pa’li. that is essential.”
if he hadn’t tried it so intently then maybe you would’ve missed it. perhaps more subconsciously to him, he tried to raise only one of his hairless eyebrows. it had you biting your lip as to not smile.
you nodded once, placing your hands on your hips. “let’s get started then.”
he took you to the riverbank. the sun was warm. insects buzzed by your head and skimmed across the surface of the water. fish leapt out from the river to catch them. direhorses ate the sweet vegetation that grew by the waterside.
“damn,” you whispered as tsu’tey guided one of the massive direhorses towards you. you took a step back as it stomped one of its feet when he tugged it to halt. “no saddle?”
“you have legs.” he said with a glance towards your thighs. “you will use them to hold on.”
“i don’t know if you know this, buddy, but this body has only ever been in use like four times now. i’m going to fall off.” you said.
“then you get back on.” tsu’tey said with a single flick of his head toward the direhorse.
you swallowed a bit of your pride as he grunted for you to get a move on. you had to raise your arm up high to reach its back. the leather of its skin was tough. it was a tall, powerful creature you knew would buck you off within a second.
“now, demon.” tsu’tey hissed.
“alright, alright…” you cringed a bit and tried your best to steel your spine. with you best foot forward, you tried to swing yourself up.
“bad try.” tsu’tey shook his head and nudged you out of the way. “watch how i do.”
he wrapped his arm around the tendril that hung down by the direhorses neck. with a quickness you wouldn’t be able to replicate anytime soon, he swung himself up onto the direhorses back.
you rolled your eyes. “you should’ve told me to grab that from the beginning.”
“again.” tsu’tey said as he slid down off the direhorses back. he ignored your comment. “this time, do like i did.”
you exhaled a sharp, fast breath. annoyance pinned your ears back. reaching up, you hooked an arm around one of the tendrils just as he had. with all the strength you could, you tried to pull yourself up.
that just pissed off the direhorse and it stomped it’s feet, huffing and snorting.
“you need to swing.” tsu’tey said. he tapped his stomach. “strong belly and swing your legs up. do not use your arms to pull until your belly is tight and you’ve swung your legs.”
“watch.” he nudged you out of the way.
this time, you really watched his form. you watched the way he grasped the tether as a stationary point but swung himself up. he had taken two steps to build momentum. two steps, swing up, mount.
easy enough, yeah?
“momentum. momentum.” you muttered yourself as you grasped the direhorses tether again.
you took a breath and felt it. your core tightened as you geared up to take those steps and swing yourself up. step, step, swing— except you choked. when your leg didn’t quite get up over the side, you bailed entirely and nearly fell flat on your face.
he grabbed your arm and kept you steady.
your ears fell flat as you met his eyes. you could see the scowl threaten to curl on his lips. you braced yourself for harsh words and hisses.
“better.” he said.
your ears perked up.
“swinging yourself with great force is the only way to mount pa’li. you must take larger steps to make that swing.” tsu’tey said.
you nodded. “yeah, i need more momentum.”
“momen…what?” he narrowed his eyes and titled his head.
“momentum,” you said again, clearer this time. you demonstrated the swing you needed to do with your hands. “momentum. the swing. you get it?”
“momentum.” tsu’tey said, watching your lips as your mouth formed the word. his accent was so thick it seemed to get in the way of his tongue. “yes, it is that. you just make more momentum.”
“but how? i mean, i tried doing the same amount of steps as you but it’s the height that’s throwing me off.” you said, looking up at the direhorse.
“pa’li is tall but you are tall, too. try to step, jump, swing.” tsu’tey said. he crossed his arms against his chest and watched.
you shook out the tension in your shoulders. step, jump, swing. his brows pinched together as he watched you take a few steps back. you gave yourself a running start and jumped, pushing yourself up with your arms.
his hands curled around your waist and he pulled you off before you could swing yourself on.
“hey!” you exclaimed, struggling in his grasp.
“wrong.” he placed you down and turned you toward him. “in order to ride, you must make tsaheylu. a bond. in order to make that bond, you must hold the tether. first step, you must hold the tether.”
“jumping on pa’li like that is a waste of time. it is not faster. bad habit. break it. do not do it again.” he instructed.
“alright, alright…” you said softly, holding up your hands.
“strong belly, demon.” he reminded you.
“yeah, i got it. thanks.”
you huffed under your breath as you wrapped your arm around the tether. standing back nearer towards its face, you would be able to run and swing yourself up— and that’s exactly what you tried to do. you ran, kept your core tight, swung your leg up, and mounted the direhorse.
“hey!” you gasped, pupils blown wide as you look down at him. “i did it!”
he was fighting a grin whilst stood at your side. patting the direhorses neck, he kept the beast calm. he looked up at you and nodded once. you could see in his eyes what he did not say.
well done, demon.
“again.” tsu’tey said, pulling you off the direhorse.
“woah!” you hooked your arms around his neck and fell into his arms. as he set you on your feet, you looked up at him. “you are so handsy.”
“i don’t know what that means.” he said as he let you go. his lip curled and he stared down his nose at you.
he thought you were insulting him.
“handsy. y’know, touchy.” you said. for show, you glided your hand along his chest and gripped his bicep in the other. “you touch me a lot.”
tsu’tey huffed and nudged your hands away. “if i don’t touch, you will hurt yourself. i’m making sure you do not injure yourself, skxawng.”
“skxawng. you keep calling me that. what does it mean?” you asked with annoyance lacing your voice. judging by the way he called you demon, you knew it couldn’t be good.
“means you are slow.” tsu’tey said. he flicked your forehead. “in here, you are slow.”
your eyes widened and your mouth popped open. “you’re calling me a moron!”
tsu’tey bared his teeth in a sharp smile. “you act like one.”
“you are such a jackass.” you huffed under your breath.
ignoring the way he chuckled, you once again tried to mount the direhorse. you didn’t keep your core tight enough. you stumble and it bumped you with its hip. the poor thing must’ve been annoyed with you by this point. you were annoyed with yourself— annoyed with him most of all.
on the second try, you swung yourself up onto the direhorses back. tsu’tey came to your side. he nodded at you as you met his eyes. you’d gotten the hang of it. with more practice you’d be able to do it with ease.
“now it is time for you to make tsaheylu.” he said.
tsaheylu. the bond. you knew of it. you’d read about it in grace augustine’s book before they shipped you out to pandora. it was how all living things on pandora connected to one and other. it is how all living things connected to eywa.
“take your kuru and make tsaheylu.” tsu’tey said, guiding the direhorses tether up toward you.
you reached behind your head and pulled your braid over your shoulder. queue. kuru. so many names for it. but there was only one name for the bond you were about to make.
the white spindles twisted and extended at the end of your braid. so did the direhorses at the end of its tether-like queue. as you guided your kuru forward, pinkish-white spindles linked and overlapped as you made tsaheylu.
your pupils blew and your body went rigid. you could hear mighty breath and a strong beating heart. you could feel legs that were not your own.
tsu’tey placed his hand on your thigh. you looked down at him, unaware that you were panting. he nodded once. calm. collected.
“breathe,” tsu’tey said lowly. he ran his hand across your thigh, up your waist, to your belly. “deep. slow. feel her breath and match it.”
you closed your eyes and focused on the way the direhorse inhaled and exhaled. it was much harder to do when his hand was on your belly.
his hand was warm…
in and out.
you focused on that and that alone.
breathing in deep and letting it all out.
“feel her strong legs.” tsu’tey said.
those you could feel without having to try. as she stepped back and forth, you could feel the power within them. fast. faster than horses on earth ever could’ve been. this direhorse had more legs than them. a larger set of lungs. a larger heart.
“when you are ready, think ‘run.’” tsu’tey said as he stepped back.
“run?” you repeated.
the direhorse ran— and you fell straight into the mud.
a soft groan escaped you. the whole left side of your face was mud caked. his shadow blocked out the sun and you heard him sigh.
“a mistake every first rider makes.” tsu’tey said as you pushed yourself up. “you will try again. this time, you will hold on.”
“thanks for the advice.” you huffed, hitting him with your muddy shoulder as you walked by.
mounting the direhorse became easier each time you did it— and you did it over and over again because you could not stay on the creatures back for long. you fell into the mud each and every time you willed the direhorse to run.
tsu’tey brought you to the riverbed not only because it is where the direhorses liked to graze but because the mud cushioned your falls.
“you are not holding on.” tsu’tey said as he pulled you up from the mud.
“i am!” you exclaimed. your frustration was reaching its boiling point and you pulled your arm from his grasp. “how much tighter do i have to grip the damn tethers it has?”
“you are not holding on here.” tsu’tey said, smacking your thigh.
you scowled at him and swatted at his hand. “don’t.”
“you must squeeze your legs, skxawng.” tsu’tey said with a shake of his head. “you cannot stay in place on the back of pa’li if you do not squeeze your thighs.”
“fine. fine.” you huffed and turned away. “i get it. tight core. squeeze my legs.”
“try.”
you looked back at him as he grabbed your waist. your eyes widened as he tugged you towards him. your jaw dropped as he wedged his leg in between your thighs.
“what the fuck are you doing?!” you cursed at him, pushing your arm into his chest.
“squeeze.” tsu’tey commanded.
you laughed in his face. “oh, you’re funny.”
“do as i say, skxawng.”
you had to grit your teeth. chest to chest with him, you had little options. everything he had instructed you to do so far and every correction he made had not led you astray. it bruised your pride to do as you were told.
you squeezed your thighs together, squishing his thigh between your legs. you looked anywhere but at him. he did the same as his hands framed your waist. he rocked his leg from side to side.
“pa’li are fast and they are strong. you must be strong, too, to ride. your legs will tire but falling hurts more.” tsu’tey said softly. he looked down between you both. “you must squeeze harder. i am able to move my leg back and forth without you. squeeze until you are moving as i move.”
looking down, you squeezed your thighs together tighter. you had to grit your teeth. as he moved his leg side to side, yours were glued to him. squeezing his thigh, you moved as he moved. when he dipped to the left, you had no choice but to follow. when he tried to move his thigh upward, the tension in your legs gave the right amount of resistance so that he could not throw you off.
“do you see now?” tsu’tey asked as he met your eyes. he tried to buck his thigh again and could not. not with you squeezing him so tight. “tsaheylu makes you one with pa’li in the mind. you must make yourself one with pa’li like this. strong core. strong legs. strong hips.”
“i get it,” you said softly, ignoring the burn in your face and the tickle in your belly that came with being so close to him.
tsu’tey tapped your thigh and you let him go. he took a step back and flicked his head. “try again. don’t fall this time, demon.”
you dipped your head.
mounting the direhorse, you were quick to make the bond. feel her breath. feel her heart. feel her legs. you wrapped the tethers around your arms and kept a firm grip. at the same time, you squeezed your legs tight around the direhorses sides.
“run,” you thought.
and the direhorse heard you.
with legs that sounded like thunder as they hit the ground, the direhorse ran. you kept your grip tight and your thighs clenched even tighter. gritting your teeth, you held on as the wind whipped across your face. the direhorse ran a lap around the riverbed as it had been trained to do— and you only fell off at the end when you simply could not hold on any longer.
you spit out the mud that had gotten in your mouth. pushing yourself up, you saw him grinning. a soft sigh escaped you. such sweet relief it was to see something other than a scowl after giving it the best shot you had all day.
“we are finished for today.” tsu’tey said as you neared. he picked a twig out of your hair. “you did better than i thought you would. tomorrow it will be easier. clean yourself up in the river.”
the cold river water embraced you like a lover and soothed the ache in your muscles. it washed away the mud caked onto your skin and the sweat that beaded on your hairline and dripped down your back.
you could feel his gaze linger on you as you washed.
and you ignored the way it made you feel.
— 🌌 —
the next day was by no means easier.
nor way the day after that.
or the day after that.
bruises made your blue skin purple. they littered your thighs. your arms. your back. you took the falls like a champ when they happened, but crawling in and out of your hammock each day could not be done without a groan.
until it did get easier.
you could mount your direhorse with ease. mitsia was her name. each time you made tsaheylu, the more your bond deepened. she grew accustomed to you. she did not jostle as much. she did not run so recklessly. she would greet you each morning with a bump of her nose.
you could ride longer and longer each day— and one day you stopped falling all together. leaving the riverbank behind, you rode with tsu’tey through the forest. learning to hold on as mitsia leapt over fallen logs was not as difficult as you imagined it would be. keeping your core tight and your legs secure, you moved as she moved. it became second nature.
it became second nature, too, to compete with tsu’tey as you mastered the art of riding.
“c’mon, cowboy! you’re eating my dust!” you laughed over your shoulder as the two of you raced back to home tree.
he smirked.
racing through the forest, you stole glances at each other as the direhorses below you ran. mitsia and karuk — tsu’tey’s pa’li — had grown accustomed to each other, too. like their riders, they competed to get home first. mitsia’s heart pounded and her breath came hard as fast as she tried to out run karuk.
the male direhorse was older and his legs were longer. when tsu’tey crouched and tucked himself downward to be more aerodynamic, the race was already won.
“i will beat you tomorrow, jackass.” you said as you swung yourself off mitsia. you gave her a gentle pat before joining beside tsu’tey.
“no, not tomorrow. we are finished training with pa’li. you have mastered riding.” tsu’tey said with a glance your way. as you walked inside home tree, the smell of pandoran barbecue made your stomach grumble.
“what’s next then?” you asked.
“you have yet to decide if being a hunter is what you want. tomorrow, you rest and decide.” tsu’tey said.
you watched as he departed. instead of heading up the center column, he made his way towards the olo’eyktan. he bowed his head and signed ‘i see you’ before sitting down beside him. you knew what they were discussing. each day, tsu’tey gave a report about how you were fairing to the olo’eyktan.
you cleaned yourself up before dinner. re-doing some of the braids in your hair, you thought about what tsu’tey had said.
you had yet to decide on what you truly want to be.
you knew you didn’t want to be a singer. you didn’t have the confidence it took to preform. you enjoyed riding and you enjoyed being in the forest, but you didn’t know if you had what it took to be a powerful hunter.
on earth, you hadn’t done more than wait on costumers and clean up messes that they left behind. hunters didn’t scrape gum off the undersides of tables or have to clean matted grease off deep fryers. they were masters with a bow and quick with a knife.
each day that you went to bed and woke up back in the link-pod, you felt less and less uncertain.
uncertain about what you wanted.
uncertain about who you were.
surrounded by scientists, you were not as smart as them. you could help grace log her findings but you couldn’t offer anything more than clicking buttons on the computer. you weren’t fluent in navi like norm. you weren’t as physically capable as jake was when he was in his avatar body.
jake was military.
norm was a scholar.
grace was a scientist.
you were just the replacement for a dead genius.
a blank slate.
that thought stuck with you like a nagging itch as you climbed the center column of home tree and made your way to your usual eating spot. the more you tried to ignore it, the worse it became.
you were a blank slate in a world ripe with opportunity and that had to mean something.
you had few skills.
that meant you could learn hundreds of new ones.
you had poor navi.
that gave you room to improve with those who spoke it fluently and hadn’t learned it out of a book.
you had no muscle.
that meant you could only grow stronger.
in a program full of bright minds and strong spirits, only one of you sat in home tree— and only one of you had been chosen by eywa.
it had not been grace.
It had not been norm.
it had not been jake.
it had been you. you had a purpose on pandora. a purpose that surpassed what you knew about tree roots or how many pull-ups you could do.
if you wanted to be a hunter— you would learn.
and he would each you how. just like he taught you to ride a direhorse in nine days.
“what is it that you had called me today, demon?” tsu’tey asked as he sat across from you. “when we raced through the forest.”
you couldn’t help but smile. “a cowboy.”
“cowboy…” he picked up a bug from the pile on his leaf and cracked the shell with his teeth. he pulled out the soft meaty inside and ate it. “what does that mean? cowboy.”
“a cowboy is a man who rides a horse and deals with herding animals. they wear hats and boots. on earth, cowboys were seen most in the western part of america.” you said as you picked at the food. you hadn’t gotten used to bugs yet. it was their many, many legs that creeped you out.
when he didn’t respond right away, you looked up. it was clear to see that most — if not all — of what you said had been lost to his ears. again, you smiled.
“on earth, cowboys rode pa’li. they were like hunters, except they kept the animals close together in herds. in a big group that they would move from place to place.” you said, choosing your words more carefully.
“they were also like warriors, too. the word is vigilante. it means that they took the law into their own hands and punished those who broke it.”
“is there no olo’eyktan to answer to?” tsu’tey asked, his invisible brows knitting together.
“no,” you said with a small laugh. carefully, you bit into a bug and chewed. it didn’t taste bad. it was good. smoky in flavor— but the legs still gave you the heebie-jeebies. “on earth, instead of clans there are countries. millions and millions of people live in a single country alone. and there are hundreds of countries.”
“millions of people…” tsu’tey looked around the crowded dinner place and then back at you. “and that is more than navi here in home tree?”
“so many more. unimaginable.” you said with a shake of your head. you popped the shell of another bug and tried to explain it as easy to understand as you could. “let’s use you as an example. you know everyone in your clan, yes?”
“yes.” he nodded.
“right. in a country on earth, you’d never be able to meet every person who lives in that country. there are too many people. it would be like if all the clans from sea to sea across the land we’re on now were one clan.” you tried to explain.
to your delight, he seemed to understand. his eyes were wider than they usually were. he let out a soft breath and shook his head, “and these cowboys…were there a lot of them?”
“in the past, yes. where i lived and in the time i lived, no. there aren’t enough animals on earth for cowboys to be useful. there are no more great plaines, either. no horses to ride. it’s all metal and machines.” you said with a small frown.
“is there no great mother on earth, too?” tsu’tey asked.
you shrugged. “if there was one then she died long before i was born.”
tsu’tey frowned. you could see the sympathy he held for you. his face was so expressive for someone so rough around the edges.
“how did you come here?” tsu’tey asked. the question was careful. it was as if he presented it to you in the palms of his hands and braced himself for rejection.
that was exactly what you gave him.
“i want to be a hunter.” you said outright. you pushed aside your leaf still full of food. you were no longer hungry. as you met his eyes, you nodded once. “i want to be a warrior like you and i want you to teach me.”
tsu’tey sat back. he narrowed his eyes at you and took in the whole of you. his eyes trailed from your head to your crossed legs. the bruises that decorated your body had yet to fade. being a hunter was a lot harder than being a direhorse rider. being a warrior was more dangerous than both.
“tomorrow you shall rest. that is decided. it is needed. the day after, i will teach you how to use a bow.” tsu’tey said.
heat rose to your face and your tail swayed wildly behind you. so wildly that you reached back to grab it. he hadn’t said no. he hadn’t laughed. he hadn’t called you a moron.
he would teach you.
he would mold you into a fierce warrior and a bountiful hunter because no student was better to teach than one who was a blank canvas.
“why do you look like that?” tsu’tey asked with a small scowl.
“huh? uh…” you were quick to let go of your tail. your ears pinned and you looked anywhere but at him. “i don’t know…i think im just surprised that you’re agreeing to let me become what you are. a warrior. a hunter. i figured you would’ve told me to start warming up my singing voice.”
tsu’tey laughed. a low, grunt-like laugh came out of his nose. as he picked apart a green-shelled bug, he smiled. “i told you once before, skxawng. if you want to be a hunter, i will make you a hunter. i don’t like singing. i would dislike you more if you had chosen to sing over shoot a bow.”
you couldn’t help but smile. “right…”
“you learn fast.” tsu’tey said without looking at you, “you are determined, too. you proved me wrong when you got back on mitsia after you kept falling off. i thought you would quit.”
“my only doubt left of you is that your body will give out on you.” he met your eyes and shook his head. “you are not true navi. it will be a very great test of your strength, demon, but if you are willing then i will teach you.”
“i am.” you said with a slow nod of your head. you looked into his eyes and kept your chin up. “i made my choice. i want to learn all that you know.”
tsu’tey seemed to savor your words. more than that, he savored the look in your eyes. he saw into you. he saw your resolve. it was as hard as steel.
on earth, you had been nothing.
on pandora, you would be exceptional.
“it is decided then.” tsu’tey said.
you smiled to yourself. you couldn’t help it. looking above, you took in as much detail of home tree as you could but there was only one picture in your mind.
his face.
over the last nine days, you had done well to keep up with him. so much so that you refused to quit even when you took a particularly bad fall off mitsia. you couldn’t let him know that it hurt. pride kept you stubborn— but the desire to see him proud burned hotter and hotter each time you tried.
tsu’tey was a good teacher. he was handsy and harsh, but he was the only person capable of teaching you. he could handle your stubbornness as well as you could handle his. while he scolded you and smacked you on the back of the head when you would do incredibly stupid and dangerous things, he was quick to congratulate and reward you, too.
not all his edges were rough.
most. but not all.
“here,” tsu’tey said. he tossed you a pouch as you climbed down into your hammock.
“what is this?” you asked.
sitting on your knees, you opened the pouch. dumping it into your hand, a palm-size carving of a direhorses fell out.
it was mitsia.
when you looked up to thank him, he was gone. the flap to his hanging hut closed as he disappeared inside.
you bit back a smile as you laid down in your hammock. holding up the carving, you admired the craftsmanship. for the last three days, you would wake to him sitting on the branch beside your hammock. he had been whittling something. wood chips would be piled beside him. he would be quick to tuck away his work and sheath his knife as you awoke.
in the morning hours you were not here, he carved as he watched you sleep without dreaming.
you kept the carving of your direhorse close to your chest as you laid back. closing you eyes, you wished to dream. in this body, you wanted to dream of thundering hooves and tsutey’s sharp smile.
the whirr of the link-pod greeted you. the hatch opened and the bright, white lights of the lab made your eyes burn. home tree at this hour was dark and quiet. the avatar lab was always busy. pushing yourself out of the pod, you rolled out the stiffness in your shoulders.
“long day again, huh?” norm turned in his chair as you passed by. he was studying slides under one of the microscopes. “what did he have you doing this time?”
“hey, no talking until after she logs.” grace said without bothering to look away from the computer she typed at. “detail the day while it’s fresh in your mind.”
“yeah, yeah…” you mumbled as you made your way over to a chair in the corner.
the blinking red light told you the tiny camera was recording you. that and the fact that you could see your face displayed on the screen as the time ticked by. you gave your name, your badge number, and the date before detailing the events of today. you hated logging. you hated sitting at that desk and recalling everything you’d done.
you hated it because it made you miss him.
the feeling was new to you. it crept up on you like a cold. each hour spent outside of your avatar had you growing sicker and sicker with the feeling.
the feeling of longing that came with wanting to be in home tree. wanting to wake up— really wake up in your hammock. being up early enough to eat breakfast with the clan.
with him.
you liked to argue with him. you could see the slight smile on your lips each time you spoke about him in your video logs. you hated that you smiled— but you couldn’t help it. apart from jake, tsu’tey was the only person you felt you had any kind of rapport with. he could be mean and calloused— but he was also the only person on this giant blue moon who spent any meaningful time with you.
jake kept you company at breakfast and dinner. he played card games with you before bed. he was easy to talk about human life to. you expressed your grief to him— as hard as it was — because he understood. he lost his brother like you had lost your sister. he, too, felt like an imposter in the avatar labs.
the bond you two shared was solid.
he could make you smile. he could make you laugh. he could make you cry. he could make you feel as though you did belong here in the RDA. he was a comforting presence that you hadn’t known you needed after the death of your sister had left a hole in your heart.
jake didn’t fill the hole— but he did a damn good job of making it hurt less.
tsu’tey was not your friend.
unlike jake, tsu’tey refused to be labeled as such— and yet he acted like one. he was a strict teacher. that much could not be denied. he worked you to the point of bruises…but at the same time, he consoled every hurt. he checked every bump. he tended to every scratch.
he may not have known you like jake knew you, but he spent the most time with you. he spent hours and hours alongside you. his days started and ended with you. teaching you. correcting you. yelling at you. bickering with you. teasing you. smiling at you.
jake knew your story.
he knew your heartache.
he knew your fears.
tsu’tey knew your hopes.
he knew your strength.
he knew your hunger for life.
in so many ways you couldn’t quite put into words, tsu’tey was the only one to know you. what you were. what you were capable of. what drove you. what focused you. what lit a fire under your ass. what strength you had in your heart.
on earth, you had been nothing. just another person on a dying planet. you had no plans because there were no plans to have. you had no money. not enough to be comfortable. not enough to find happiness. you had no family. sickness and poverty had withered them all away. with the death of your sister, you may as well have died, too.
on pandora, you had the chance to be anything you wanted to be. a warrior. a hunter. a singer. a scientist. a gardener. a solider. there were so many things you could be— yet you hardly knew who you were.
each day you got into that link-pod, it was a constant battle of which one was real.
which you was real?
you knew the version of you that could no longer exist. the girl from earth had died when her sister passed— and whoever emerged from the smog keeping you wilted was new. she was a stranger to everyone around her.
including you.
which is why you chose to be strong. if you could be anything on pandora, you would be strong. you would be brave. you would be kind.
who you chose to be was a mirror of the first person to look into your eyes and see you.
tsu’tey knew you better than anyone in this lab ever could because he watched you find yourself more and more within the forests of pandora.
you liked the sun. it felt good on your skin. you liked to swim in the river. it felt good to be weightless. you liked to ride and you liked to run. you liked to laugh. you liked to learn. you liked to try and try again when you failed.
while the avatar drivers you had been separated from on your first ground excursion worked on understanding the forest around them on a cellular, scientific level— you worked on understanding the forest on a personal level.
you scraped your knees on the forest floor. you climbed the towering trees. you formed tsaheylu with pa’li. you had been blessed by the atokirina.
grace saw the forest through the lens of a microscope while you saw the forest through his eyes.
“tsu’tey told me as we rode today that all energy is only borrowed. it is through that energy gifted by eywa that we are blessed to live long, fulfilling lives. when we die, we return that energy to her.” you said, rubbing your hand along your jaw. “i wonder if that applies to us demons…”
you smiled at the camera. “well, that’s about all. the same old same old. horses and riding. riding and horses. tsu’tey said that tomorrow is my rest day. i wonder what kind of trouble i’ll get myself into on a day like that.”
when the red light turned off, you sighed. rubbing your face, all you wanted was to go to bed but you couldn’t. you needed to eat and drink something. even though you had such recent memories of eating dinner in home tree that tricked your mind into thinking you were full— your stomach growled and gnawed at itself.
“hey, hot-shot.” you said as you sat down in the mess hall beside jake. he was already halfway done with his dinner.
“hey there, forest girl.” jake said with a grin. “you’re back pretty late again. get thrown off your horse at all today?”
“nah. i’ve got that horse-riding shit on lock down.” you said as you took a bite of your dinner. the food tasted weird. it always did. you tried your best to ignore it. “how was your day?”
“boring. all i do is stand around while grace and norm scurry around the woods together and put dirt into jars. i dunno how tommy found any of this shit interesting. i mean, pandora is awesome but the science work i see grace and norm do is like watching paint dry.” jake said with a sigh.
you laughed and frowned at him. “i wish you could come to home tree and spend a day with me and tsu’tey. i don’t think he’d like you very much, but at least it would be something for you to do. it would be like basic training but navi style.”
“i wish i could, too. im jealous that you get to spend your days running around in the woods while im stuck with the know-it-all’s. but i live vicariously through you in your stories.”
“is it fun?” jake asked. he smiled. “yknow, riding those big ass horses?”
you smiled, too. “so much fun. you’d love it. you’d be good at it. i bet you’d master it faster than me.”
jake offered to stay with you while you finished your dinner even though he’d finished first. you enjoyed his company. sitting together, you talked mindlessly about hobbies the two of you had. on earth, jake had liked to go to bars and gamble while you had liked to come home from work and rot in front of the tv. no matter what was on, you would watch it. any show. any movie. it didn’t matter what it was because all it was was an escape from the shithole you lived in and the dying world outside your window.
“excuse me, miss ramsey?”
you looked over your shoulder as your name was called. a solider dressed in camo stood with his arms behind his back.
“yeah?” you asked, raising one of your eyebrows.
“if you could follow me please, colonel quaritch wants to speak with you.”
you met jake’s eyes in time to see his brows raise. with a small flick of his head, he silently told you to get going. you got up form where you were sitting, cleared away your mess, and followed behind the solider. as you walked, you saw the corporal insignia on his uniform.
“in here.” the corporal said, pushing open a set of double doors. “sit tight. he’ll be here shortly.”
the doors shut with an eery silence as the corporal left you alone. you’d been in this room once before. on your first day at hell’s gate, you’d been brought here and given a briefing. the lights were off. only moonlight spilled in through the massive windows. slowly, you took a seat on one of the cold metal chair.
minutes ticked by in silence.
it was so silent that it was deafening. it was the kind of quiet that was loud. you could hear every little sound. your breath. muffled footsteps from the floor above. faint grumbling from machines outside.
you knew what this was.
you had seen enough old detective movies to know that you were put in a room by yourself to induce worry. worry led to overthinking. overthinking led to over-talking. over-talking made it hard to lie.
the doors swinging open made you jump.
“sorry to make you wait,” colonel miles quaritch said as he strode into the room. “the dangers on this god forsaken planet never seem to cease.”
you nodded as he approached. he turned a chair around and sat backwards on it beside you. he smelled of gun powder and alcohol. it burned your nose. the scar on his face had made you uneasy from the moment you saw him for the first time. you wonder what did it. nantang? palulukan? something worse?
“i read your file, miss ramsey.” the colonel said as he folded his hands against the back of his chair. “im sorry to hear about your sister’s passing.”
“thank you.” you said softly. too softly.
“what luck the avatar program has in seeming to recruit scientists who have twins, huh? you and corporal sully are two miracles for this place. without you two, the RDA would’ve lost more billions than they could afford to make back.”
unsure of what to say, you tried your best to smile. as the colonel looked into your eyes, you found it hard to keep that smile. there was something about him that made you feel small. his eye were empty. they were cold. you felt like a rabbit who’d caught the attention of a wolf.
“i watched a couple of your video logs. you got separated from your team and you’ve been taken in by the natives, yes?” the colonel asked.
you nodded once. “yes…”
“as head of security, it’s my job to make sure my people are safe. you’re one of my people, miss ramsey, which means that avatar body you control is, too. to be honest with you, i’d say you’re now one of the most essential people in this hell hole.”
“i have a job for you, missy. i want you to gather intel about the natives for me and record it in your video logs. find out how they operate. find out what it would take to make peace with them.”
your stomach sank.
peace was still being sought.
you were so wrapped up in day to day life in home tree that you forgot that the relationship between the navi and the RDA was unfriendly in every sense of the world.
it made you feel queasy to remember your first night in the forest. sweat pooled in your palms as you recalled seeing him for the first time. those glowing eyes. that bow half-drawn, aiming for your chest.
tsu’tey had every intention of killing you.
and he would’ve if eywa hadn’t stopped him.
the colonel leaned in and asked in a low voice, “do you think you can do that for me?”
“yes, sir.” you whispered. slowly, you nodded. the only thing you could do was nod. “of course.”
“that’s good.” the colonel said with a smile. he tapped his hands on the metal of his chair as his smile grew and grew. “that’s real good, miss ramsey. you’re going to be a great deal of help to me and you’ll be making the lives of everyone here all the safer. besides, it’ll be easier to answer to me than it is to answer to dr. augustine.”
you smiled, too. you forced your lips to show your teeth and you dipped your head. “ah, she’s not so bad…but i will say i’m more keen on tactical work than computers.”
“i like to hear that.” the colonel said. “have you given any thought to enlisting? it could benefit you a lot here in hell’s gate.”
“truthfully, no. i’m not really sure what role it is i play here and i’m not too sure if i’ll pick one at all. i’m here to fill my sisters shoes in any way that i can. right now, it seems my job is to keep learning.” you said.
the colonel seemed to roll your words between the tips of his fingers. “knowledge is power— and i need all the knowledge i can get my hands on. study the natives as close as they’ve been studying you and in time, you won’t need to fill any shoes that aren’t your own.”
“your sister may have been selected to aide dr. augustine in her studies so that she can write a second book that no one will bother to read— but you? you’ve been chosen by me to ensure the security of the men and women on this base. to me, that is far more important than what you can see under a microscope.” the colonel said.
“i understand, sir.” you said with another dip of your head. “i’ll make sure to detail my findings in my logs.”
“good.” the colonel said as he stood. “you have a good rest of your night, miss ramsey. we will be in touch.”
as he walked passed you, your heart returned to its place in your chest and not lodged up into the back of your throat. you uncurled your hands from fists and rubbed them up and down your thighs to wipe away the sweat. you felt as though you could breathe.
“oh and miss ramsey?”
“yes?” you asked, turning your head.
the colonel stopped by the door and said, “make sure not to tell any of your scientist friends about this little arrangement. grace augustine gets very unhappy knowing i’ve stuck my nose into her program.”
“sure,” you said softly. “no problem.”
the colonel left without another word.
you nearly crumbled into a pile of ashes. curling over the table, you rested your face against the cold metal. your heart was racing in your chest. it was hard to breathe around the pressure on your shoulders and the tightness in your throat.
what the hell are you doing, you idiot?
you had no answer for yourself.
covering your head with your arms, anxiety burned your belly. it put a sour taste in your mouth.
you were now on the colonels radar.
he expected information out of you. he expected answers— unlike grace who expected results.
in bed, you could hardly sleep. tossing and turning, you couldn’t lay still. it felt like there were ants in your sheets. each time you felt comfortable, tsu’tey scowl flashed in your mind.
what you were going to do was wrong.
you knew in the core of your being that spying on the clan and handing over your findings to the RDA was wrong.
but what choice did you have?
you had chosen to be a warrior— and yet you had been chosen to be a spy.
you buried your face into your pillow and tried your best to ignore the way shame made you feel.
it brought you shame to know that each time you’d log the events of the day, miles quaritch would watch your recordings and use them to his advantage. and the worst part was that you couldn’t just spew bullshit. you had been tasked with learning how they operated. learning how they functioned not just as a people but as a united force. if you didn’t make the right reports with the right kind of information, what would happen to you?
you had no idea.
you did know, though, that you’d never be allowed to touch a link-pod again.
the avatar body you’d grown to love would lay a husk until it died. you’d be ripped from the forest like a weed out of the ground. you’d never be able to feel mitsia’s heart. you’d never be able to sit in home tree and listen to the people sing.
you’d never get to see tsu’tey again.
he tolerated you because you looked like him. blue, tall, and freckled with bioluminescence, your avatar did it’s job of seeming normal enough to even the mightiest warrior. even if he’d never admit it, over the last nine days you had become familiar. he wasn’t very fond of you and he was definitely not your friend— but at the very least, you were familiar to him.
he would shoot you dead if he saw you standing before him as the alien you truly were.
that was something you couldn’t risk.
your admiration for him and your hunger to learn from him was not something you could let slip away— so you would do what the colonel asked of you.
in order to run through the forest and bicker with him, you’d do as miles quaritch asked. and you would do so carefully. cautiously. as gently as you could— because you did not want was to lose the freedom you’d been given. you didn’t want to lose the life you had just begun to lead. you didn’t want to be trapped inside metal walls and crowded by machines and pollution any longer.
and the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt him.
eywa had given tsu’tey a sign protect you. when the atokirina landed on his bow, it had been a duty gifted to him. he protected you from the nantang— from himself. and he would continue to protect you from anything that tried to harm you.
tsu’tey had given you a purpose. when he carried you to home tree and took on the burden of becoming your teacher, he’d given you a second chance at life.
it was now your turn to protect him.
from the RDA.
from the colonel.
and maybe even from yourself.
thanks for reading :)
next chapter >
#avatar 2009#tsutey x you#tsu’tey te rangloa ateyitan#tsutey#jake sully#avatar driver reader#avatar 2009 fan fic#james cameron avatar#navi x avatar driver#grace augustine#norm spellman#neytiri#miles quaritch
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fated Mates 6
Ao’nung x Fem human reader
Warnings ⚠️: Sex- just expect this from now on y’all. Idk what else
Tag List 🏷️: @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @universal-s1ut @lili-flower03 @deadpool15 @mishy-mushroom04 @sanislifealways
I think I edited it? Idk can’t be too sure. Also I apologize for taking forever I haven’t been feeling too inspired lately. I wanted this chapter to end differently and kept struggling to get there, but here it is!
When it came to translating “I love you more” in Na’Vi I essentially out the word “more” in a spot where it made sense and potentially fit with the way the language is spoken… so please don’t judge 😫
Translation Station
Sa’nok: Mother
Tìyawn: Love
Tewng: Loincloth
Yawntu: loved one
Yawne: Beloved
Nga yawne nì’ul lu oer: I love you more (derived from Nga yawne lu oer, that translates to ‘beloved you are to me’ but is used as ‘I love you’- nì’ul meaning “more” I had to place it where I believed it fit best so idk if its all accurate.)
Ma’tìyawn: My love
Tsaheylu: Bond
Tawtute: Sky person (used as “human”)
Tsahik: Spiritual leader of clan; interprets the will of Eywa
Yawntutsyìp: Darling
Ma’sempul: my father
Kaltxí: Hello
Ma’eveng: my child
Hona: Cute
Prrnen: infant, baby
Vrrtep: Demon
Mrr: Five
Nga yawne lu pxoe: “We three love you”
Word count: 8.4K
<<Previous | Next>>
“Thats great news!” Jake is the first to speak as Tuk runs up to hug me, spinning me before settling me on the floor, there was no doubt she had Na’vi strength.
“Congratulations!” Kiri yells in excitement.
“Are you sure we’re ready for a second fish lips?” Lo’ak teases before getting smacked by Spider.
“Don’t disrespect my little niece or nephew like that.” He jokes and Lo’ak playfully hisses at Spider, Spider hissing back without hesitation.
“You don’t seem as excited.” Neytiri points out and I’m glad someone had managed to notice my solemn expression. “Why is that?” She asks and I sigh shakily.
“Honestly, I never thought I’d be in this position. I don’t know what to expect with a pregnancy, especially with a half Na’Vi child. They grow so big and I’m very small compared to you, You guys carry for up to a year whereas we carry for nine-ish months. What happens if it’s born too soon?” I asked as all of my thoughts run through me, worry filling my head, I had grown exhausted about these things and haven’t really slept well.
I also had no idea how the fuck to tell my honorary family, this was big news, and I’d unintentionally refrained for a week-ish since finding out. I’d chosen not to believe it when I was told I was pregnant, I had Ronal explain it several times and it was hard to get through my thick skull. Until the morning sickness kicked in, it was usually what had awoken me, and Ao’nung had already gone to work with his father.
Tonowari had been more courteous and had waited for the sun to start popping up in the sky before coming to get his son. After being told about it Ao’nung had spilled the details to his father that next morning, not that it bothered me, but I was still in shock from the news and hadn’t accepted it then.
“The great mother will provide. She has given you a blessing and she will be with you every step of the way.” Kiri smiles as her hand reaches to lightly touch my thigh. She always knew what to say and it warmed my heart that she could also sense my unease.
“Thank you, Kiri.” I placed my hand on top of hers and she smiles.
After an afternoon of talking, everyone eventually went off to do other things and I had been left with Neytiri. She only looks at me before smiling quietly, moving to sit in front of me.
“You are hiding something.” It wasn’t a question, I knew her and her behavior, she was definitely hiding something.
“Information, mostly about pregnancy, you will be sensitive to feelings, smells, tastes, and intimacy.” She says, had I been drinking something I would have spat it out.
“Your baby will crave being around those that make you feel comfortable and will often want to feel secured if you feel threatened or in danger. Do not be surprised if you find yourself clinging closer to your mate or others you consider close to you.” She says and I nod, Ronal had stated that in her healing hut when she broke the news for me.
“I also do not want you to feel bad about this blessing either.” She stated, hand gently placed on my belly, tears coming into my eyes, she was the closest thing I’d had to a mother and our relationship wasn’t always perfect, but she was trying- and thats all that mattered to me.
“I don’t want you to think that I will keep this baby from you. I want you to know you are the only family I have here, even if I’m not with Neteyam anymore, you have always been the closest thing to a mother for me.” I admit and her face softens into a smile, she leans in and brings me into her arms.
“Oh sweet girl,” She mutters in english, catching me by surprise. “I am honored you see me as your sa’nok.”
“Is there anything I should avoid?” I ask while wiping my tears.
“Other than your brother?” She asks and the loudest laugh bubbles out of my mouth before I could stop it, not knowing she could casually joke around, her own smile sneaking out as she watches me laugh.
“I usually expect that from Lo’ak, maybe kiri, but you?”
“I have picked up a thing or two from ma’Jake.” She admits and I nod.
“You sure have!”
__________
She wasn’t that far along in her pregnancy but her hips had definitely spread slightly, her bum jiggled while she walked, her short pants as she walked long distances were louder and fuck was it a huge turn on.
She stops and touches her lower back with her fist, rubbing harshly at the small of her back and groaning, cupping her breast through her shirt, she was in pain and was started to become frustrated. I watch as she tries to massage herself and hold her chest with one hand and failing to do so.
“Do you need help?” I offer and she turns with a glare, continuing to struggle on her own.
“I can fucking do it.” She stated angrily and I nod, humming a quick response, knowing she was going to cave soon. Her face falling as she continues struggling and stops to take a big breath in and lets her fist fall from its place on her back.
“Sure you can.” I’d taken the place of her fists and use my thumbs to press the spot she had been trying to soothe, gently massaging the area, and she moans at the feeling.
“You’ve had a stressful day, tìyawn, let me take care of you.” I kiss her cheek from behind her and her knee’s buckle.
“You’re the one who has a stressful day, you wake up at the ass crack of dawn and follow your dad everywhere, I don’t know how you do it.” She stated and I sit down, lifting her hips and settle her on my lap, still massaging her lower back. I lean over to kiss her cheek and end up catching her neck as she moved to get comfortable.
“Fuck,” She whispers. “If you keep touching and kissing me like this, I’m going to-“
“I know, I can smell it,” I stated as I’d already taken to closing my eyes and sniffing her neck, catching the slightest smell of arousal.
I’d decided to bring her out for a walk since she’d kept herself in the marui all morning from feeling sick. She usually felt better in the afternoon and I just happened to have free time at the moment. I’d teasingly licked her pulse point and she gasps.
“Wait, don’t-“ She starts but I capture her pulse point between my lips and sucking on it. “Oh fuck,” She moans again, her hands squeezing on my thighs, I chuckle slightly in her ear, using one hand to slide up and under her shirt.
“Wait,” Her hand grabs onto mine but I growl in her ear, her hand coming back down toward my thigh.
“Let me take care of you and your needy pussy.” I whisper in her ear and kiss her temple just as my other hand slows down her stomach and into her tewng.
“N-not out here, ahh,”
I place one finger to teasingly trail past her lips only to slide past with the amount of slick seeping past them. She grunts and her hips thrust upward, she’s never gotten wet this quick, I barely touched her and she was soaking.
“Yes out here, how are you already this wet?” I ask as I circle her clit with the lightest pressure and hear her catch her breath, I circle once again.
“Why out here?” She whines and sounds frustrated, little fist landing on my thigh.
“I can’t leave you like this, Y/n, you need me.” I kiss on her neck again and squeeze her breast, rolling the already pebbled nipple between my fingers, her hips buck in a way that makes my fingers caress her clit again.
“It all feels like too m-much,” She struggles to get her words in but is doing significantly better than she did when we’d first started being intimate.
“Talk to me, yawntu, what do you feel?” I focus on her sounds and feel myself reacting to her as my cock grows hard every passing second.
“Good, very good, ah!” Her hips rut in the perfect angle that I slip my finger in and she lets out a long low moan. I couldn’t help myself and slid a second.
“Oh please, please lemme come,” She starts fucking my hand by moving her own hips in the same motion, I knew she was feeling too good to stop and I was rock hard, I curl my fingers and she moans loudly, going faster.
“Mmm, no.” I kiss her neck again on the other side, uncurling my fingers from her pussy, sliding them out.
“No, no, no, no, no!” She yells as her protests fall from her lips, I take the hand from under her shirt and slide it up her neck, using it to push her face back so I can plant a kiss on her mouth.
“Come here pretty girl,” I spin her so she’d facing me and push her tewng to the side while maintaining eye contact. “You ready?” I ask.
“God yes, yawne, please!” She begs and I bite my lip, sinking myself into her smoothly, her whine raking out of her mouth, I could only stare at her with half lidded eyes and felt myself overcome with a deep emotion. Her eyes are opened and looking back into mine.
“I love you so fuckin’ much,” I bring her face closer to mine and thrust upward as I kiss her fervently. Placing a hand on her cheek and the other on her hip.
“Nga yawne nì’ul lu oer-“ She places her hand on my shoulders and rides faster.
“Feel s’good, wanna make you come,” I thrusted faster, the hand on her face slipping to her hip, holding her strongly and making her hips meet mine.
“Oh shit, ‘nung, I can’t- I can’t, gonna come-“
“I’m not stopping you,”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” She chants while I continue thrusting myself into her without stopping. I could feel her pussy contract as she comes, her squeal being the biggest verbal cue, her arms wrapping around my neck tighter, bringing me closer toward her. I didn’t bother continuing to thrust once her orgasm had stopped but stayed inside her without moving, contemplating what to do next.
“Keep going,” Her tiny voice and tiny pants cut me out of my thoughts.
“Fill me up,” She wiggles her hips to move down slowly and I grunt.
“Don’t tease,” I hold her hips steady and she whines.
“Don’t have another round left in you?” She quirks a brow upward as she slowly rubs my arms with her hands. “I thought you said Na’Vi like to go more than once,” She smiles and manages to slide down, taking more of me in, our hips now flush with each others.
“I don’t want to hurt you little one,” I warn but hiss at the feeling of her stomach pressed against mine, feeling the bulge of my cock pressing against myself, moaning at the feeling.
“Wanna squirt on you, please.”
“Oh fuck, you filthy girl,” I close my eyes and feel lost in the warmth she provides on my cock.
“Only f’you.” She says as her lips come down to meet with mine, I run my thumbs along her hips carefully, but had no clue her fingers were making their way toward my ears and my hips rut deep into her aching pussy and she squeals.
“You’re so naughty, little one,” I grunt, bringing one hand off of her hips and placing it on her cheek.
“I just want you to come, Ao, fill me up with every bit of yourself and mark me, need you to come, feels hot.”
“I need to lay you down, give it to you good,” I grunt as she continues caressing my ears.
“Yes!” She whines and I lay down on the sand, her hand coming on my cheek, it causes me to stop and look up at her.
“Ruin me.” She demands and I couldn’t help but nod my head, taking my time to slide out of her while untying her tewng, finally getting it free and sliding in just as slow, listening to the wet sounds her pussy made, making my cock twitch.
“Fuck baby,” I grunt and slide back out, my hands had been placed on either side of her head as I started thrusting into her sweet pussy, her little grunts and moans filled my ears and I wanted to hear more. I pick up my pace and continue thrusting inside her at an angle and she’s losing her mind.
“Look at you, so pathetic laying there, taking it like the good pretty girl you are.” Her legs had wrapped around my waist and she locked her ankles to keep them from falling but the feeling of how tight her pussy was, was starting to make me feel dizzy.
“M’sorry!” She whines as her delicious heat contracts around my cock again, squeezing it for what its worth, but I hold back my own orgasm, just needing to put her in one more position before allowing myself to come in her.
“Never apologize for that, little one.” My voice is hoarse from having to grunt to keep quiet. I’m surprised we haven’t been caught by anybody but slip out of her and she whines, scrambling to get me back in her.
“Hush and stop whining, I wanna do something.” I stated in a firm voice and she stops. “On your knee’s yawntutsyìp, hands on the ground.”
She is at a loss for words but nods to show understanding while getting into position, looking back at me with wide eyes, a smile playing at her lips. I sink myself in her slowly and moan at the sensation, this feels different and I have to enjoy it, remaining inside her far too long for her liking as she whines and brings her hips back.
“I’ll never get tired of this, ma’tìyawn, I want to always be buried inside you,” I stated as I slide the rest of the way in “Just like this” I groan in her ear to have her moan loudly.
“S’too much, can’t fit, too big-“ I hear her struggle under her breath just to slide out and shove myself back in.
“M’not too big,” I slur my words together and push her hips away from me only to bring them back together with the sound of skin slapping on skin.
“You’re too small,” I stated and watch her throw her head down to the floor as she bends her elbows, bowing her back, managing to keep her waist up and bum pushed toward me.
“Faster,” she commands and I do exactly what she asks for, hearing her breath pick up, moans thrown in every other thrust, she was struggling to keep quiet but I loved this.
“Oh please, please, please, m’full-“ She is essentially yelling and already squeezing my cock.
“M’coming yawntu!” I grit my teeth while bringing our hips closer than ever before right as she yelps and squirts all over me.
I could feel my seed dripping into and out of her as she continuous to squeeze me dry, I’d kept thrusting into her to prolong her pleasure but her body had simply gone weak and the only reason her hips were up was because I had still been holding onto her as I lazily continued. Every thrust had earned a grunt from me as the feeling of her tight cunt made me shudder.
“No no no, don’t slip out, I wanna stay like this.” She says just as I tried.
“Y/n,” I state but she whines.
“Wanna stay connected with you, this is our tsaheylu, I want to stay like this.” She protests and my chest feels warm after she says that.
“We can lay like this for a little bit but we should get cleaned up soon,” I explain and see her nod weakly, I’m careful to lay her down with her back against my chest, my cock still engulfed in her heat, and I’m enjoying every second of it. She felt swollen and continued squeezing me with every little movement she made, but I held her close to my chest regardless.
Her telling me this was our tsaheylu made me feel proud for a moment. Understanding that my father was right when saying this was a form of bonding for tawtute. I’ll enjoy bonding with her any day, whether it was for comfort or relieving her stress.
“I’m ready,” She says in a small voice and I snuggle her closer.
“Alright ma’Y/n. Lets get in the water first before separating, it’ll help soothe your ache.”
_________
“Hello again, old friend.” Norm steps out of the helicopter in his blue form, making his way over and hugging me, I return the hug, he was essentially the closest thing to a father Spider and I had before Jake had to take us in. Although Jake never minded when we spent time with his kids but I knew he had his hands full often.
I could hear Ao’nung hiss behind me, a warning for Norm to let me go, and the Avatar does, holding his hands up to show Ao’nung he meant no harm.
“He’s not a threat.” I looked directly at Ao’nung who had his teeth barred and an unpleased look in his eyes. His look shifts over toward mine as I said that, his pupils dilate more as he looks at me, an apologetic look and his once lowered ears flap upward toward me.
“In his eyes I am, his pregnant mate is being hugged by an unknown male, I didn’t mean to overstep.” Norm speaks in Na’Vi toward him and Ao’nung nods his head once, ears having gone back as soon as Norm spoke to him.
“Stop standing so far away and come here.” I stated at my husband and he looks back at the helicopter, his eyes showing worry, my own face softens at the display. “It’s okay, they won’t turn it on until they leave again, for now its harmless.” I reassure him and hold my hand out for him to walk over.
He’d squared his shoulders and seemed to walk with confidence toward me, but I knew better, the fear in his eyes was present, but not to Max and Norm, or our family and friends behind him.
I attempt to lift my foot off the ground to climb into the helicopter but hit my shin on the edge of the machine. I try again with my other leg but don’t lift it high enough and bump my knee. I start giggling at how useless my legs have become since my waist grew slightly. I can feel my mates hands on my waist as he lifts me into the machine, he gets in after.
“I knew this was where you were hiding,” I tease Max as he sets the ultrasound machine they have away from the wall and closer toward the middle.
“Hey there, long time no see.” He goes in for a hug but stops himself at the start of a hiss leaving Ao’nung’s mouth, we both take a step back from each other and roll my eyes.
“I didn’t mean to overstep.” Max speaks in Na’Vi toward Ao’nung and I can feel his hand on my lower back, the other being placed on my belly, lightly pulling me toward him.
I lean over to whisper something in his ear, his eyes widen and his tail thumps twice, before nodding and letting go of my stomach.
“Let me guess,” Norm starts.
“Magic words?” The two men say in unison and I laugh, nodding my head. I would often have to tell Spider to behave when he was grounded in the lab and promise him something for good behavior, any time Norm or Max would ask what I said to get Spider to behave, I always said magic words, after a while they stopped asking and accepted that I was essentially bribing my brother.
“Come sit here,” Max is mindful of where to touch me but I take the edge of my tewng, folding it under my belly, this causes Ao’nung to step forward.
“This is normal, kid.” Jake pipes up from behind him, trying to calm him down before he gets overworked. Our families had wanted to join and be a part of this, but didn’t want to be in the presence of technology, until I talked it over with Ao’nung and told him to convince his family to come.
I’d already confided with Neytiri and Jake and told them to bring Kiri, Spider, Lo’ak, and Tuk. On either side of the hanger where there was an open space stood both omatikaya and metkayina, being careful to stay quiet.
“This’ll be cold.” Norm states as the gel is placed on my small bump and he places the wand over my belly, his deep blue hand being careful while working the wand before settling on the smallest creature in my womb, my breath catches in my throat as I see tiny feet kick, I could feel it slightly.
I subconsciously reach for my mates hand as my heart is exploding with the need to protect the tiny creature inside me. My eyes fill with tears at the baby before me and I’m in awe.
“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” Max asks and I squeeze Ao’nung’s hand while nodding, just then all Na’Vi ears flicker at the sound of the heart beat being displayed. It sounded unusual and it made me tilt my head.
“Can I see the wand?” I asked and Norm nods, holding it loosely but waiting for me to grab a hold of it so it wouldn’t fall.
I grab is, making sure to pick up extra gel from my stomach and looking at my husband, he nods lightly in approval, and I place the wand on his chest, the sound being picked up by the machine, and sounding similar- but not exactly the same- to the one we’d heard earlier.
“It kind of sounds like yours,” I stated and look up at him happily, handing the wand back to Norm, he places it on my belly while him and Max talk about measurements and growth of the child. Everyone makes cute little comments about our child and Ronal cries- causing vehlín to cry as well. Neytiri is hiding her tears well but they’re still visible in her eyes.
“How far along are you again?” He asks.
“About a month and a half, but I feel like baby is growing pretty big.” I state.
“Baby is bigger than a tawtute would be but still remains smaller than a Na’vi.” Norm stated and it causes Ronal to gasp. “Still growing well and very healthy.” Norm stated happily and it seems to calm the tsahik’s nerves.
“But there is something else,” Max stated and it causes all of our ears to perk up. Considering this was the first interspecies relationship to conceive every bit of news would be considered negative, and I hated to admit that I believe it would be too.
“The reason the heart beat sounded different,” Max begins to take the wand from Norm, planting it one way, showing the visual of the baby we saw before, my heart fluttering again.
“Is because this is where this one is laying.” He slightly tilts the wand and I can see the baby shifting slightly but remaining in the same position. “And this one is hiding behind that one.” He explains.
“No way!” Spider is the first to break the silence, a happily shocked expression settles on his face.
“The great mother has definitely blessed you,” Kiri says as she hugs onto Spider, Neytiri finally letting her tears fall. But my husband and his side of the family stayed quiet.
“Is this a bad thing?” Tsireya asks, but I couldn’t answer her as my eyes had shut, happy tears leaving my eyes.
“It hasn’t ever been recorded in Na’Vi history but it happens with humans a lot. Y/n is expecting two babies,” Max fills them in and the shocked face from all of them.
“But how?” Ronal asks.
“Y/n and Spider’s sa’nok had them at the same time from the same pregnancy. Usually it’s passed on to the female of our species if it has happened within their family.” Norm tries explaining it without using scientific words that practically had no translation.
“The reason the heart sounded different is because each of them have characteristics from one of you-“ Max points between Ao’nung and I. “Their hearts are lined up together and it’ll be near impossible to listen to them separately until after birth.” Max stated while taking the wand off of my stomach and putting it away, making sure to clean the gel off with a towel.
“How soon will I give birth? You said the babies were bigger than tawtute, how much time does that give me?”
“You’re looking at four, maybe five, more months of pregnancy before birth. Had this been one child maybe seven total months, but the these babies will make an appearance sooner than that.” Norm answers my question.
“Will they be safe if they are born that soon?” Ao’nung asks as his hand returns toward my belly, gently rubbing it, his shoulders relaxing as he touches me. His protective instincts have been noticeable since before the small bump appeared.
“We really won’t know until they’re born. But we might be able to test them if we scan Y/n’s body frequently. The better we monitor the babies growing the better chance we could try to be prepared.” Norm explains, half of his words in English but his point getting across.
_________
I could definitely feel the energy draining from my wife after the conversation we’d had with the tawtute. Norm- such a strange name- was adamant that we see him weekly until the twins arrive. Such a funny name for two babies being born of the same womb at the same time. But with that being said we either had to let Y/n go back with the Omatikaya- which was not an option at all- or let Norm stay every couple of weeks as he flies back and fourth- the decision was up to my parents- and they agreed, anything for the health of her grandchildren and Y/n.
I held her back closer to my chest and allowed my hand to trail down toward her belly, the smallest swell showing up, her hips had spread a bit further too, my hand subconsciously leaving her belly and toward her hip, giving it a gentle squeeze. I would give my life for this woman and our children, no questions asked. My hand trailing back toward her bump and feeling a purr rumble in my chest.
She was mine as much as I was hers, giving up her body for the lives that was growing inside of her and giving up her heart to love me. She has willingly given me all of her bests, multiplying it for my benefit, I needed to worship her. Just then she turns her back to lie flat on the mat below us. Her belly facing upward, eyes opening from her nap, turning to look at me sleepily.
“I need something.” She says in a small voice.
“Anything,” I kiss her cheek and smile, her tiny hand placed on the hand I had on her belly, before she lifts it off herself, I’m about to move to give her space but she guides my hand down toward her tewng.
“Need help,” She bites her lip
“Oh?” I question but trail my fingers down further into her tewng, feeling her wetness.
“Oh…” I stated suddenly, not expecting the floodgates to have been open and for her to be ready so quickly. I reposition myself, using my elbow to prop my body up as I slid down her cunt, sliding a finger in.
“I need them all, ‘nung,” She whines and my cock stirs to life at her words, grunting I slide my other two fingers in and didn’t expect to run across the soft squishy spot inside so soon, running my finger against it and hearing her moan. Her back bowed off the mat, her legs spreading wider, her own tiny hand shifting down my own tewng and grasping my cock, running her hand along its length and up toward the head.
“Fuck,” I grunt as she captures the precome off the head to swirl her hand around the sensitive tip and sliding her hand back down its length.
“Tease.” I comment and slide my fingers back inside her sensitive walls, pregnancy has definitely changed her response to anything I did to her, coming faster than before, easily turned on by anything, sneaking over when we’re meant to be doing other things just to beg for my cock.
“Been wanting you all day,”
“All day?” I ask and thrust back in, focusing my fingers over the spongey tissue, her legs shake. “We did this not too long ago, or did your needy pussy forget about that?” I asked again, circling that spot with my fingers. Her hands having moved along my shaft several times
“Need you,” She fumbles with her words but it gets the point across as she swivels around the head again, making me groan.
“You have me, ma’tìyawn.” I lean down to kiss her, thumb coming up to caress her hardened sensitive bud and feel her walls contract around my fingers, squeezing me harshly as she moans into the kiss, her thighs still shaking at the pleasure. Her hands had stilled upon coming but I hadn’t minded, breaking my kiss from her and willingly rubbing the spongey spot again, her high-pitched moan was like music to my ears.
“Need this,” She squeezes my cock to emphasize what she wants and all I can do is chuckle, fingering her already swollen pussy, our previous endeavors still not having healed nicely, but whenever she asks for anything its hard for me to deny her. I remove my hands from her to hear her whine in protest.
“Make up your mind, yawntutsyìp, do you want me or my fingers?” I ask while continuing to untie my own tewng, already having silently pulled on the string holding hers together.
“You, all of you, please.” She begs as she watches me with hungry eyes.
“Already so needy, hm?”
“Just for you, yawntu,”
I hissed at the slight overstimulation from having done this earlier in the day, but knowing the walls of her cunt were still inflamed from before, and she was still this needy only spurred my own needs into wanting to bring her closer toward the finish line.
“You feel so good,” I moan as my hands rest on her widened hips, bringing her closer to me as I continue diving in, feeling her clenching and whining slightly.
“Please move faster,” She begs right when my hips meet hers, her legs spread wide past my legs, the expression on her face as though she just had to reach her peak, her hands grasping harshly at the blankets on our mat.
“Do you still think about ma’sempul?” I tease while pulling out slowly.
“What?” She asks as if her mind had cleared. I snap my hips back into her warmth and hear her moan, but remain still, expecting an answer.
“Do you still think he can satisfy you?” I smirk as she opens her eyes to look at me, wincing when I pull out and snap my hips back in.
“M-maybe, he’s hot-“ I rock back into her body and it cuts off her thought process. “Oh fuck that feels s’good,” She whines while her eyes had shut tightly in the process.
“You think he could fuck you like I do, baby?” I’d taken the time to lean down and say that in her ear and she clenches around me.
“You think anybody could listen to your body the way I can, Ma’tìyawn?” I couldn’t help but bring my hand underneath her neck and lifting her slightly to meet my lips.
“Oh fuck,” She pants while my kisses go down toward her jaw, and down her neck.
“What was that?” I ask and stop thrusting, taking a hand toward her aching cunt and flicking her hardened neglected nub, not that I ever needed to touch it to make her come much anymore.
“Please,” She reaches her hands to wrap them around my neck, but I knew she did this when she wanted me to lose control, she always did that and caressed my sensitive ears, and as much as I’d love that, I wanted to tease her more, moving myself away from her grasp.
“‘Nung, please,” She slams her tiny fists beside herself in frustration. I roll my hips and she sucks in a breath through her nose, her mouth shut tightly, tears sprinkling out of her pretty face.
“My name sounds pretty coming out of your swollen lips.” I groan and repeat the action again, my thumb gently pulling her chin and watching her lips unstick as a moan escapes her.
“Yeah?” I ask and pull out to thrust back in, squeezing her hip lovingly.
“Nobody else could satisfy my pussy, hmm?”
“Yours,” She manages to speak as she drops her head back, arching her back, moaning again.
“All mine, hmm?” I coo as she struggles to form any words and settles on nodding her head.
“What about ma’sempul?” I tease again and she groans, digging her heel in my back.
“Only you,” She finally reaches my neck and locks her hands in place, finally holding on the way she wanted.
“Thats fuckin’ right. Only me.” I groan and pick up my pace.
“Oh shit,” She whines.
“I’m close too,” I connect our foreheads together and she reaches a lazy finger to stroke my ear, making me shamelessly moan, the wonderful feeling heading straight to my cock.
“Fuck yes, yes, yes,” She wraps her legs harder around my waist as she comes first, her pretty pussy kissing my cock everywhere, allowing me to come inside without hesitation. I’d shoved myself impossibly far inside her cunt and allowed myself to be overtaken by pleasure.
“Shit-“ She mumbles something before taking her hand away from my ear, her fingers reaching her sensitive clit and rubbing it furiously, allowing her back to arch, my cock kissing her cervix just right, and her pussy clenching back down, bringing herself to squirt.
I’d been panting the entire time, trying to catch my breath, and watching her relieve herself again. Enjoying the way she came a second time with myself still lodged inside her.
“You’re overly sensitive, Tìyawn,” I comment as she calms her own breaths, her flushed face coming up to look at mine.
“Are they okay?” I ask her as I place a hand on her belly, I hadn’t forgotten that they were there, but often lost myself into the throes of pleasure to remember to be careful.
“We’re fine, I promise.” She pats my hand with her own.
“I’m going to pull out now, okay?” I warn her and she nods tiredly. I pull out with a hiss as the air from around us feels uncomfortably cool around my warmed up half mast cock.
_________
I’d had help raising my body into the helicopter, considering I’d grown bigger as the weeks went by. Tsireya was the one accompanying me today as the males had gone hunting. Lo’ak had injured his foot on a bed of coral and it had gotten infected, and Ronal had told him he was not allowed to get his foot wet but deemed it worthy of being safe today- it was their wedding day after all.
“How are they?” Tsireya asks as she sits with one foot dangling out of the helicopter while Norm scans my stomach.
“They’re growing pretty rapidly, but still in that in-between human and Na’vi size, baby A is growing a little bigger than baby B but theres no cause for concern, everything is looking fantastic.” Norm states as he changes the position of the wand.
“I think you’ll like this, Y/n.” Norm states but before I could ask him what he meant I could hear the sound of one of the babies hearts beating, it sounded like a human’s, like mine.
“Thats baby B,” Norm states as a smile spreads through my face while watching the baby wriggle around as if happily dancing.
“Kaltxí, ma’eveng.” I soothingly run a hand alongside where I felt the baby moving.
“This is baby A,” He says and it switches to the sound that resembles Ao’nung’s strong thunderous heart. The sound I’d grown used to as I lay my head on his chest and fall asleep to the lullaby his chest plays for my ears, that and he plays with my hair a lot.
“Kaltxí, hona prrnen,” I run my other hand along the side where the other one laid peacefully.
“Did you want to know the genders?” Norm asks and I recall having asked Ao’nung if he wanted to, he stated he was thankful that those machines existed to tell him the health of his children but thats where he drew the line. In other circumstances the people usually waited until giving birth to see the gender of their children, and that was something I was looking forward to.
“Nope, we’re waiting until they make their appearance.” I patted the sides of my bump affectionately.
I’d made sure to lower myself toward the edge of the helicopter as I carefully slid myself off of it and onto the sand below, making sure to regain my balance before letting go of the helicopter. Tsireya being unusually quiet throughout the entire interaction.
“Talk to me, sweets, whats the matter?” I ask her while walking back toward the village. She had been trailing slightly behind me which was unlike her at all, she was usually a couple of steps ahead or right on track with me, and we always had something to talk about.
“I am nervous for tonight.” She explains and I finally catch her fiddling her fingers.
“Your union?” I ask and she nods, I could only smile quietly thanking Eywa for this opportunity to be the one to provide her with words of wisdom, Kiri and Tsireya were usually the ones giving those words if wisdom to me.
“What for?” I asked and turn to face her, making the nervous girl stop in front of me, a slight flush settling on her features.
“I’m afraid of- everything. How will we be once the union is finalized, will he lose interest and try to find another, or will us having children ruin things?” She asks and her eyes are showing me that her mind is running a mile a minute.
“Your people mate for life, sweets, the moment Lo’ak had come here he only saw you. When Spider and I had come here, he mostly talked about you, he was smitten. He cares about you deeply, ‘Reya, theres nobody else he’d rather be with.” I reassure her and her eyes are searching mine for any inconsistencies.
“Your life will change after having children because you’ll have Mini Lo’reya’s to look after, but what matters is taking time apart to be with him, even if that means having sex while they nap.” Her face flushes at this and I chuckle.
“Marriages are hard work, but you have to be willing to put in the same work you did when you formed your relationship it’ll work, and it is something you could always ask your mom for advice about, or Neytiri, or myself, or even Kiri.”
“You don’t ever need to allow your wonderful mind those unnecessary stresses, Tsireya, he loves you and you love him. You were still into each other even when he refused to listen to either set of parents and when you were tied on the ship together.”
“Thank you, Y/n.” She states with a small smile.
“You’ll be nervous today, thats natural, and when you meet up at the spirit tree it’ll feel like your first time again, but once it happens, it’ll be worth it!” I smile and she nods, looking a million times better.
“Go get ready, okay?” She nods and runs off.
“Alright babies, we need to go find Aunty Kiri to make their garment.” I speak to my belly and pat it gently to calm the babies who’d seemingly woken up from a short nap.
_________
I’d just gotten off my tsurak, making sure to tell it to go back where its supposed to, before breaking our bond, diving into the water and heading toward the beach. Many other hunters were making their way back as well, so it surprises me that my wife had maneuvered her way around so many of them, willingly placed herself in the water, and found me, her tiny hands wrapped around my beck and her legs around my waist, her lips finding mine even under the water.
My hands hold on to her bum to make sure she doesn’t fall off as soon as I plant my feet in the sand, standing and bringing both our heads above water. Her bump was getting bigger and it was separating us further than before.
“I missed you,” She leans down again and peppers my face in kisses around my face, my ears twitch as a couple of the others laugh or chuckle as she kisses my face.
“Wait ma’tìyawn,” I pull the back of her hair gently to stop her from attacking my face again, only for her to stop herself mid-moan from what I’d done. I could tell several faces turned to look our way and with that I walked out of the water and toward the marui’s, hearing plenty of laughter and jokes coming from behind me.
“I need you, you were gone too long,” She plants her lips on mine fervently, her tongue poking out past her mouth and into mine.
“I wasn’t gone too long, just a few hours,” my face is pushed back toward hers as she continues kissing me, I groan in slight frustration.
“This is why I made sure you were satisfied this morning,” I sit down and place her covered pussy over my erection, grinding her on it.
“I was, but its not morning anymore,” She grinds herself on my lap and I groan.
“You are an insatiable little vrrtep,”
“You smell so good, so musky, I don’t even need your fingers, just you, ma’nung,”
“This might make us late for the ceremony,” I stated but untied my own tewng.
“Tsireya will forgive us,” She stated as she stood slightly to slide her own tewng off but not giving me time to breathe before she sinks herself down.
We were left a panting mess after our activities but managed to clean her up just in time for the ceremony to start, I’d sat down and instead of sitting next to me, she sat on my lap, her back flush against my chest, reaching over to place my hand on her hip and growing bump, I ran a thumb over it and felt the happiness bubble in my chest, I felt proud to have mated with her.
I lean over to kiss her cheek just as my mother steps out to address the clan. I couldn’t be happier seeing Lo’ak and Tsireya standing there together knowing that was myself and Y/n not too long ago, I knew my sister had found someone perfect for her.
“Nga yawne lu oer,” I kiss her temple and she places her hands on top of the one I had on her bump.
“I love you too,”
We continued watching the entire celebration holding each other close but the moment when she had looked up, my mother had placed the garment behind Lo’ak and Tsireya, I could feel her shaking with excitement.
“Mrr!” My mother yells happily and hugs my sister.
“They’re having three kids,” Y/n stated happily and tears brim her eyes, I bring her down and kiss her face several times, her laughter being muffled by the cheers around us.
_________
“I’m a fucking tulkun.” I commented.
“No, no ma’tìyawn, you’re as beautiful as the day I met you.” Ao’nung was quick to say but the tears came back with a vengeance.
“You hated me when you met me!” I yell and start sobbing again, only to feel him wrap his arms around me, gently running his hand on my back.
“I did not hate you, I was unsure of how to deal with tawtute before.” He kisses me head softly.
“Yes you did, you wouldn’t talk to me.” I sniffle only to start crying again, hiding my face between his neck and shoulder.
“Only because of what Neteyam said, he scared me,” He says softly, still using his hand to run calming circles on my back.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper and hide my face in his chest.
“What are you apologizing for, little one?” He gently places a hand on my cheek, looking into my eyes with a saddened expression, a gentle smile on his lips as he runs his thumb on my cheek to calm me down.
“Everything.” I sniffle and he pulls me closer toward his chest.
“Not allowed. If you apologize for everything that means you apologize for being mine, but I like that you’re mine, and I am yours. You can’t take that back.”
“Thank you.” I stated softly, feeling the anxiety leaving my body, my shoulders relaxing. Truthfully it was from being around Ao’nung and the way he smelled, it brought me peace, and I’m sure it helped the babies feel calm having their father near.
“Do you need to be reminded how much I love you?” He asks and I gulp nervously, I hadn’t expected him to ask such a question after my emotional turmoil had settled. “Because I’ve got a craving for something sweet that only you can give me,”
“Oh-okay,” I stutter, he just smiles, kisses me on my forehead and spreads my legs- maybe his idea of sleeping naked during the heat of the summer was a good idea?
“I’m going to enjoy this more than you will,” He comments and stuffs his mouth greedily, my hand immediately going toward his hair as he eats away to his hearts content.
_________
“I don’t mean to be rude but you need to shut that pretty mouth of yours, little one,” I place my lips over her mouth while I said that, not stopping my thrusts, hearing her muffled moans against my mouth.
She’d decided to turn our picnic into another one of our escapades. I’d had her up against a tree with her thighs hooked onto my arms, holding her up against it, while fucking her greedy cunt. But being out in the clearing also meant we were close to an observation post, the last thing I needed was anyone interrupting our time together, and I’d be damned if anyone saw her body.
“You gonna be quiet?” I asked her while slowing down my thrusts, hearing her whine as she shook her head.
“Close,” Was all she said and it made me speed back up.
“Mmmmm!” She tries moaning with her mouth closed.
“Are you going to make a mess on my cock, baby?” I ask.
“Please touch me,” She begs, bringing her knees closer toward her body, even while being held upright against a tree, she didn’t even have to specify where as my hand trail toward her clit, feeling her slick coat my finger as I rub against the sensitive nub.
_________
“I’m comfortable, I promise,” I sigh as my back is pressed toward his chest. One of his arms are cradling his own head and doubling as a cushion for my own. His other hand protectively over my bump.
“I just don’t want it to be too warm for you,” He stated and I laughed.
“If It ever got too hot I’d be more worried we were surrounded by the pink pollen in the cave,” I stated.
“That could be arranged-“ He stated jokingly.
“I thought I was insatiable.” I laugh and hear him chuckle, only for him to stop and take his hand off my bump, leaning his head over and inspecting it.
“One of them kicked me,” He stated with pure awe on his features, he still inspects the bump, gently poking the spot where one of the babies had kicked, placing his hand on my bump with a gentle smile.
I can feel him rub my stomach sweetly, only to feel the flutter again, against the spot where his hand was placed. I laugh at his reaction and he settles me on my back, wedging himself between my legs and staring at my bump, placing both hands on either side, comically placing his face closer as if to make sure they hear him.
“I am your sempul, and you will not disrespect-“ Another kick in the direction of where his voice was coming from and I’m giggling at his expression.
“Tìyawn, they are disrespecting me-“ Another kick against his hands, considering both babies favored one side, each of them had kicked at his hands and I couldn’t stop the laughter rolling out of me.
He only brings himself up against me and peppers kisses all over me, tickling my sides as he does, making me erupt into uncontrollable laughter, I try kicking him away- knowing it wouldn’t hurt him- and pushing his head with my hands. I’m sure he expected these moves as he continuously blocked my hands with his. He suddenly stops and just stares at me as my laughter dies down.
“What?” I asked with a smile on my features.
“Nga yawne lu oer,” He stated with a smile, seemingly enjoying his time with me, completely taking this moment in.
“Nga yawne lu pxoe,” I responded as he rushes up to kiss me.
_________
#avatar smut#avatar#avatar the way of water smut#afab reader#human reader#aonung#aonung x reader#aonung x reader smut#avatar the way of water#PleaseBeKindImSensitive#ImStillInAWritingFunk#HaveFunReading#avatarxhuman pregnancy
242 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just Like Him: The Before Times
Word count // 7k
Summary // Y/n is just a normal girl who loves to hunt with her dad. She has a loving and attentive mom. Her relationship with her brother is rocky at best but she still loves her small little life. That is until it's all turned upside down after she gets into an accident, with her dad passing away and her mom flushing her life down the toilet how is she supposed to manage when the world ends with it?
Warning // Language, character death(not twd cast), Talks of death, violence, the killing of walkers,
Special Thanks to @catbunblue302 and my friend for editing/proofreading this with me, it would be a disaster if they didn't lol
OTHER STUFF// This is just the prologue, it's kind of important but you don't have to read it. But I gave Y/n the nickname Bear, idk why but I love it so im keeping it. She also has shorter hair in the beginning and in my mind is Biracial but her race isn't brought up very much. But things like hair texture, skin color, and eye color aren't mentioned or described so it is up to you how Y/n looks to you
A/N // its in gods hands now. this is like half edited by someone who knows what they're doing and the other half done by me at like 11:00 at night.
***: Major time Skip/scene change
*: small time skip/scene change
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~2005~~~
It was early in the morning, maybe five or six. You were fast asleep dreaming about nothing and everything, but while you lay sleeping, a figure crept into the room being careful not to wake you.
When he got to your bed, he hovered over it ready to pounce on you. You were snoring into the night, unaware of what was about to happen as he snaked his hands under the cover skillfully and-
“Wake up, bear! We got lots to do kid.” Your Dad tickled your sides as you yelped and writhed from joy.
“Dad! Sto-stop I can't brea-breathe,” you laughed.
He smiled down at you before he got up, releasing that classic dad grunt while laughing quietly.
“Alright, get dressed, then get something to eat.”
You smirked up at him and flung your cover off yourself.
“Already one step ahead of you,”you say, revealing to him that you were already dressed in your hunting clothes, minus your boots.
He chuckled quietly, careful not to wake up his wife and stepson. He nodded his head, telling you to get up and go to the kitchen. You rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and spoon, and had some fruity pebbles. Your dad just had a pop-tart that he popped in the toaster.
While he was waiting for it to ding, he looked at you. He saw you scarf down your food as fast as you could.
“You know you can enjoy it, right?” he teased, but you just looked up at him while the spoon was still in your mouth.
“I know, just eager to leave.” Your mouth was full and milk streamed out of your mouth.
Your dad just rolled his eyes and chuckled.
POP!
He grabbed his food and went to sit with you. Looking up, you asked him a question. “So what are we doing today?”
Your dad took a bite of his pop-tart. “Hmm, well I was thinking about going into town and getting some more snacks for the trip. Maybe some extra bug spray.”
You nodded at that. “Yeah, they love me for some reason.”
He smirked. “Yeah, it's ‘cause you got sweet blood, they like it.”
Your eyes widened. “WHAT!” You practically yelled.
You covered your mouth hoping not to awaken your half-brother and mom.
But it didn't help.
“The hell’s all this racket!?” Your older brother, Jason, stormed in with an annoyed and tired look on his face.
You looked at your brother when he walked over. He was three years older which made it easier for him to ignore you. He was indifferent towards you, like you didn't matter to him. The only time he gave you any attention was when you irritated him, like you were bothering him with your existence.
Jason and your dad had a hard relationship. For some reason, Jason was always rude to him. Whenever your mom wanted to tease Jason she would explain how when she and Dad had started dating Jason would throw fits when Dad came over. And how Jason would stare at your dad with a mean glare. Jason had the meanest glare, it could put the old judgy ladies at church to shame.
“Sorry, son, me and your sister were just talking about our trip.”
Jason seemed to glare at the word ‘son’. Your brother looked at the clock on the wall with a sleepy stare. “It's five in the mornin', so stop yellin' in the house, Y/n.'' He looked down at you as he walked over and made a bowl of cereal, the same as you.
“O-okay, sorry.” You looked down meekly at your nearly empty bowl.
Your dad sighed, “Well, we're about to leave.”He looked at Jason. “You sure you don't want to come with us, Jason? Wouldn’t be any trouble.”
He responded with a quick “No.”
Relief washed over you.
“I’d rather shoot by myself than with her.” He glared at you.
You looked away from his glare and shrank into yourself.
Your Dad sighed and got up. You copied him and went to put your bowl in the sink. You rushed to your room and went to get your bag and put your boots on. By the time you left, it was about five-thirty in the morning, and the sun was already starting to rise as you and your dad got into his truck and started driving to town.
Looking out the window, you could see the familiar trees and a few birds flying by. You always loved the woods. It was quiet, yet the singing of birds could still be heard in the distance. Looking into the rearview mirror, you could see your cabin disappearing in the distance.
“You excited, kid?”
Turning your head, you looked at your dad with a smile, “Yes!” you exclaimed excitedly.
Your dad chuckled. “Oh, I bet, bear, but uhh, been wanting to talk to ya ‘bout something.”
You tilted your head with curiosity. “What, Dad?”
He sighed lightly. “Yer teacher called your Momma and me yesterday to discuss your schooling. They said you were falling behind in yer work, withdrawing from other kids, and advised me to talk to you. Can you tell me why, bear?”
You looked out the window without answering.
“I won't push you right now, but if you ever want to talk,” he trailed off and rubbed your shoulder the best he could while driving.
***
By the time the truck made it to town, the sun was up. The truck pulled into the mini-mart. You jumped out of the truck and waited for your dad, before sprinting into the mart and grabbing different snacks you liked. You had an armful by the time you returned to your dad at the counter.
He looked down and his eyes widened at your selection. “Jeez, Bear, you going into hibernation?” He let out a hearty laugh. Grinning at him, you put your snacks on the checkout counter.
“One thing I love about you two coming in here-” The owner started to ring up your stuff, “I always make money.”
Your dad waved his hand at them dismissively before grabbing the bags and handing them to you.
“Let's get a move on, don't want to miss any of the good spots.” Hopping into the truck, Dad started it and headed out to your campsite.
***
A few hours had passed by the time you made it to the site. Hopping out of the truck, you went around back to the truck bed and grabbed your bag and bow. Your dad set up the tents and you set up the fire pit, gathering some rocks and stacking them, then went to find some sticks.
When it all was done, your dad came over and patted you on the shoulder. “Ready, Bear?”
You looked up at him. “Yeah!”
You grabbed your bow and followed him into the woods. Stopping at a clearing, your dad put his stuff down and stood next to you.
“All right, Y/n, you remember what I taught you?” He knelt as you grabbed an arrow and drew your bow back.
“Where do you want me to shoot?” You looked at him.
He thought for a moment, looking around, till he stopped his gaze at a certain tree with a unique-looking branch that hung low on the ground. He pointed. “See the knot in the tree? Shoot that.”
You nodded your head and tightened the bow once more.
You held your breath and focused on the knot on the branch, taking a second before you released your arrow. You heard a thunk as it hit the tree and you looked to see if you had hit the knot, but sadly your aim was a little off. It was a few inches to the right. “Aww, I missed it.” You kicked the dirt slightly.
Your dad stood up and went to retrieve the arrow. “It’s ok, sweetheart, you're getting better just remember that.” He tried to cheer you up. “Remember when I first took you out here? Your arrow would be two or three feet away from the target.”
You smiled to yourself.“Thanks, Dad.”
He walked over and crouched down to your height. “Now let's try again.”
He handed you your arrow and ruffled your hair. You smiled to yourself. Regaining your stance, you drew back your bow and released another arrow. You hit it closer every time. And when you finally manage to hit it after your third time, you jumped up and down in joy.
“Good job, Bear, why don't we try something harder hmm?”
You nodded, and he took your quiver, put it over his shoulder, and took your hand, leading you deeper into the woods.
***
It took hours before you returned to your camp, the whole time spent practicing your aim on things besides the normal target. By the time the sun was down, your dad decided it was time to head back.
*
Your dad had started the fire and was cooking some hot dogs for the two of you. “You have fun, Bear?”
You look at him. “Yeah, I got better at my aim I think. What about you Dad?” You ask, tilting your head at him.
“Hmm, it was amusing to see you miss sometimes.” He pulled out your food from the fire while you groaned with embarrassment.
You ate your food while looking up at the stars. “Hey Dad, what's that one called?” You pointed up at the sky.
“Hmm, I think it's Orion. He was a skilled hunter who used a bow, and some say he managed to woo the heart of the virgin archer. He even claimed that he ‘could hunt any and every animal’, but Momma Gaia heard this and sent a mighty scorpion after him, which is why–” he lead your head to another part of the sky. “–If you can find him, you’ll see Scorpius, the very same scorpion that killed him.”
Looking at the stars, your mouth was agape. “Wow,” you whispered under your breath and rested your head on his shoulder.
After a few hours, you and your dad went to bed.
***
The end of your weekend trip went by fast, and before you knew it, you were on your way home eating a bag of chips while listening to the radio.
Your dad was focused on the road, but the conversation about your schooling was still playing in his head. "Bear, we still need to talk." He said. You paused for a moment, not wanting to have this conversation. Since starting school, you've had trouble keeping up with the other kids. Since you were behind, your classmates would treat you differently.
"I don't want to talk about it," you said, looking down at the floor.
Your Dad looked over, sadly. "Can you tell me about it? You don't have to tell me everything."
"The others treat me differently, and I don't know why.” You looked out the window again, trying to focus on the songs the birds were singing.
Stopping the truck, your dad pulled you into an embrace. “It’s ok, Y/n, I'll tell your Momma and we’ll talk to your teacher, okay?” He looked down and rubbed your shoulder, waiting for an answer.
“O-okay.” Your voice was muffled
The truck started again and you both drove off toward your cabin.
***
When you got home, it was around dinner time. Since it was a Sunday your mom was making your favorite for dinner. Your truck pulled up, and you ran out of the cab and into the arms of your momma.
“MOMMA!” You tackled her, sending her stumbling back a bit.
“Hey, baby, how was your trip?” she asked with a loving smile.
Looking up at her, you gave her a big grin. “It went awesome! I got better on my aim and distance.”
She smiled down at you. “Well, that's amazing, maybe one day you’ll be better than yer daddy.” She ruffled your hair. “Now come on, supper’s cooking, want you and yer daddy to get washed up.” She shooed you away into the house.
Running to your room, you grabbed some shorts, a T-shirt, and other stuff and ran to the bathroom, but your brother was walking by and had a sour look on his face.
“Yer back.”
You looked down. “Yeah, how was it here?”
He glared down at you. “Peaceful, shoulda stayed that way.” He walked past you and bumped your shoulder.
***
When you got out of your shower, you went to the kitchen to help your mom cook but just ended up sitting on the counter and telling her about your trip with your dad.
“Then Dad told me to shoot an apple that was still on the tree.” You told her excitedly.
“Wow, baby, did ya hit it?”
You nodded. “Yep, it fell and knocked down some apples with it. Dad and I ate them on our walk back to camp.”
“Sounds like you two had quite the adventure.” Your mom said as she stirred the pot.
She took the pot off the burner and walked to the dinner table. You followed her and sat down.
“Yep, it was.” While your mom grabbed other things for dinner, you helped set the table.
“BOYS, DINNERS READY!” she called.
Dad came out of the garage and Jason came out of his room. You sat next to Mom, across from Jason, and Dad across from Mom. After everyone was seated, Mom said grace and you all ate dinner. You ate yours quickly while Jason picked and prodded at his.
When you finished dinner, you kissed your Mom and Dad good night and went to bed. You lay under your blanket, looking at your glow-in-the-dark stars, and drifted off to sleep.
~~~ 2005, A few weeks later~~~
It all happened in a blur. You and Dad were driving back from your trip in the forest, and you even managed to bag a rabbit all on your own. One minute you were on your way to register what you had, then you were waking up in a hospital with your Momma by your side, crying and a local sheriff on your other side gearing up to ask you a few questions
“Momma…” Your voice was weak. “What happened?”
She grabbed your hand and kissed it. “You were in an accident, baby.”
Your eyes widened the best they could but you were still loopy. “What?” You looked around the room, your heartbeat picking up. “Where’s Dad?” Your voice was starting to hurt.
Your Momma cried, her tears falling on your hospital bed. “He-He didn't make it, baby.”
You looked up at the ceiling and silently cried with your Momma.
“Mrs Myers, I’d like to speak with your daughter alone, to get her account of the story.” The sheriff gently led her out of the room, then sat next to you and asked you a series of questions.
“Now, Y/n, I understand you and your dad were driving, do you know where?”
You choked back a sob before you answered. “The a- the game warden's office.”
He wrote that down. “Can you tell me what you and your daddy were doing before then?”
Licking your lips, you replied, “We were out camping like- like we always do. He was showing me how to hunt.”
He nodded and wrote that down too.“Do you remember anything while you were driving to the game office?”
You thought for a moment. “I was talking to Dad when suddenly he threw his hand in front of me then…everything went black.” You started to cry, all your emotions catching up with you.
The sheriff looked down at you with sympathy and leaned over you to rest his hand on your head. “Just get some rest, Y/n, we’ll talk later, ‘kay?”
You nodded, and he took his leave, and your mom rushed to your side once again.
***
The day you were discharged from the hospital was bittersweet. You were leaving and going home, to sleep in your own bed. But you were leaving without your dad, and in a few days, you would be giving him a send-off for his funeral in Oklahoma.
The drive home in Mom's car was different. It didn't have that old dusty truck smell, and it didn't rumble as it drove down the dirt road. No, Mom's car was clean, quiet, and smelled like pine. You hated it.
The drive was quiet, only the sound of the radio filling the car, but that quickly got turned off, much to the displeasure of Jason, who quickly turned it back on, which upset Mom.
“Quit it.” She turned it off again.
“I want to listen to the radio,” Jason protested.
“NO, Jason, stop it!” Silent tears were running down her cheeks, but Jason just scoffed and looked out the window
*
When you got home, Jason went to his room and you sat on the couch and curled yourself into a ball. Your mom went straight to the kitchen and came back out with the champagne bottle that had been saved for their anniversary.
Her dark green eyes were dull and wet with her tears. She took a good look at the bottle before she took a swig and sobbed. You didn't know how else to comfort her, so you just crawled over and cuddled under her arm.
“It’s ok, Momma.” You whispered to her.
That just made her cry harder– the fact that her baby had to comfort her.
She took another drink while the two of you just sat on the couch and watched TV.
It wasn't long before she passed out. The bottle she'd been drinking fell to the ground and the rest of the contents spilled out, the sound of the bottle hitting the ground woke you up. You looked up at your mom and kissed her good night, before you cleaned up the mess she'd made, and went to bed.
Laying in your bed, you looked up at your fake stars. You turned over to look at a photo of you and your dad, It was taken when you were five, first learning how to use a bow.
You smiled sadly and went to sleep.
***
It was just like that for years. You would wake up, go and eat whatever Jason made, and find your momma on the couch, passed out with a bottle of some kind in her hand or on the floor. And as always, you would clean it up before you went to school.
Sometimes she would wake up and tell you to have a good day. You always said you would but you never did.
When you went to school, some would be nicer. You didn't know whether it was because they felt bad or because they'd been told to. It didn't matter ‘cause the alienation continued and you were still by yourself. The boys still asked mean questions, but now they were about your dad, questions like “Did you see his mangled corpses in the road?” Others would reply with “Yes.” or “It was disgusting.”
Some of the nastier ones started to say that you should’ve died. One group even cut a chunk of your hair off. It was a choppy pixie cut. Your poor teacher tried her best to make it look nice.
But it didn't matter, ‘cause when you got home, you would put on a smile for your mom and tell her you had an amazing day. Your hair? Well, you got gum in it, that's why it was short.
Your momma cried a bit when she saw your hair. It was exactly like your Dad's, long and beautiful, but now it was cropped short. Just one more thing she had loved and lost.
***
You supposed your Momma must have been feeling lonely. Instead of drinking on the couch, she started to go out to drink, sometimes with her coworkers or sometimes just alone.
And when she was out late at night it was Jason who had to take care of you. He would make you dinner, and make sure you did your homework. He wasn't nice about it but he did it. He also started to take you hunting, and in Jason's fashion, he was harsh and rude with his remarks unlike your Dad had been.
“Y/n, shoot the squirrel over there, you see it?” You roughly pointed in the direction.
You nodded and aimed your arrow at it. You released it, but you missed and it scurried away.
“DAMNIT!” He shot up to his full, towering height. “Can't ya do anything! Jeez, a rock has better aim than ya!” He went to retrieve the arrow. You followed him to find more quarry.
“Ya know, what if som’ happens and we got to provide for mom, huh? What if I can't hunt and you have to hunt fer us, and ya can't hunt shit and we die?” He liked to be overly dramatic with his lectures.
But his “lecture” did nothing but stab your already bruised ego, but to prove him wrong you had to get better.
When you saw a rabbit, you both got down low on the ground. You drew back your arrow and aimed, making sure it was perfect before shooting. The arrow flew past different branches before it finally sunk into the rabbit's abdomen. The rabbit kicked, using up whatever strength it had left before it finally died.
You ran towards the rabbit and picked it up to show Jason. “Look I got it, it's big too!” You showed him proudly.
He caught up to you and scoffed. “Jus’ a rabbit, nothing to get worked up over,” he said, giving you an unimpressed look. “Itz big though,” he admitted under his breath as he walked away. It was a small comment, but it brought a smile to your face.
He looked down at the ground, looking for any tracks that could lead to bigger animals. You took the arrow out and put the rabbit in your animal satchel, and followed him.
It was the same cycle that lasted for three years, but then your momma did what you thought she never could. Something that rocked your world, and made you look at her a bit differently.
Remarry.
~~~ 2008 ~~~
It was late, really late at night, maybe three in the morning. You and Jason were up watching movies and eating what was left in the kitchen. Your mom had the car most of the time so Jason couldn't go out and buy more food.
You were currently watching an old zombie movie called Dawn of the Dead, one that your dad and Jason both seemed to like. The only thing they could agree on was movies.
It was almost over when you heard a rapid knock on the front door. The suddenness surprised you, making you jump a bit, spilling the remaining popcorn.
“BABIES! OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!” Some smaller knocks could be heard. “PLEASE, I FORGOT MY KEYS! AND WE’RE COLD!”
You and Jason looked at each other before he got up to open the door for your Momma. Her hair was messy, along with her makeup. And behind her was a man with blonde shaggy hair and a beard. He wore a blue button-up and was shivering.
Your Momma walked past your brother and so did the man. You and Jason gave him a strange look, almost like he had a second head.
Your Momma seemed to notice the looks and stopped to introduce him on her way to the kitchen.
“Oh um, guys this is my fiance, Steven.” She looked at him with puppy eyes.
“Ah, Steven these are my kids, Jason and Y/n, but we call her Bear.” She had a goofy grin on her face as if she didn’t realize she'd dropped a bombshell on you and your brother.
Your brother just huffed and went to his room to sleep.
“I wonder what that was about” your Momma uttered his breath “Hi baby! What were you two just doing?” she rushed to your side and sat on the floor with you.
You looked up at her “Just watching a movie with Jason” you glazed at the awkward and clearly drunk Steven before watching the movie again.
“Ooo looks scary, think im gonna make me and Steven some drinks” She kissed your cheek and got up “ooo Stevie why don't you sit and talk with Bear Bear?”
His head shot up in confusion “Wha-what oh um yea of course baby” he walked to the couch and sat down nervously. He looked around the room and then landed on some old photos of you and your dad hunting.
“So, you uh hunt?” you turned your head towards the man you may call ‘dad’, his eyes dart to yours than back to the TV.
“Uhh, yea, my Dad taught me, but haven't caught anything ‘sides som’ rodents” You glanced at him and he just looked somewhere else, he looked so out of place in your small home.
You decided to try and “bond” with him “What about you? You hunt?” His head shot towards you in surprise.
“Ah no, no I don’t hunt. I find it uh too much, to be honest” he laughed awkwardly, you looked away and at your mom who walked back into the living room
“Hey guys! Whatcha talking about!” she said in her drunk cherry, In one hand, she had some snacks and some beers “Sorry we don’t get much, we don't have a lot in the house” She laughed.
You shifted awkwardly, cause she was the reason for no food “Maybe we could go shopping tomorrow Mom?” she stood there thinking,
“yea-yeah sure, me and you. Ya know just a girl's day!” You smiled and got to kiss your mom's cheek and went to bed Hopefull she’ll get better with this new guy around and fulfill a promise to you.
~~~ 2010 ~~~
You woke up rather late one morning. You walked out of your room to see the TV was on and some trash around the living room, you went to clean it up but your eyes grew when your mom past out on the couch with Steven, in a rather awkward position. You turned around to go to your room when Jason came out too. He seemed to notice the mess to and went to clean it up
“You don't wanna be in the livin' room” You stopped him, and he gave you a weird look.
“The hell do you mean?” you cleaned your throat.
“Umm, ste-steven and momma were gettin’ comfortable if ya know what I mean” he just shook his head and went to the kitchen.
“Whatever, im going to get food, you coming?” He grabbed the keys and walked to the garage doors.
You nodded your head and went to get dressed and were quickly out the door to the car. The sun was up, it was a warm day in August, a week before school started. You looked out the window while the radio played, some news guy was mouthing off about some world problem, it was enough for your brother to turn the radio to something else.
When Jason pulled into the parking lot you could see it was packed but was dead silent. You got out of the car when another car whizzed by almost hitting you.
You and Jason walked into the store questioning what happened when you noticed the store was dead quiet. You could see carts abandoned some of them being tipped over with groceries all over the floor.
“What tha” Jason looked at the scene in front of you. Jason looked at his watch and half decided to leave but you needed food he just pushed it to the back of his mind.
You grabbed the basket and walked to the food aisle grabbing milk, bread, eggs, and other stuff you needed. But your brother stopped you, grabbing your shoulder roughly
“Wait” you turned to him.
“What? What's wrong?” he pointed down the clothing aisle, it was destroyed and the clothes were everywhere. “Th-the hell happened there? And why hasn't anyone fixed it yet” You started to walk over to investigate but Jason grabbed your arm to stop you
“Don't, I don't like this” he pushed you forward to the front of the store. Jason grabbed your arms as he speed walked passed the alise of food thrown around the floor. But one alise made you stop in your tracks, making you drop the basket to cover your mouth.
There in the middle of the floor was a dead body, what was worse was that it looked like it was gored on. Her face was eaten, her abdomen was torn open and her intestines and blood were all over the floor.
You could see blood tracks near the body, leading away to the next aisle. Your brother pushed you down to the ground, telling you to keep quiet. He looked over to the next aisle and went back quickly.
He dropped down to the floor as well, he gestured you over to him while putting a finger up to his lips. You rushed to him.
“What's going on?” you asked panicked.
“I don’t know, but there's someone over in the next aisle with blood ‘n shit all over 'em” You looked at him with scared eyes.
“Wha-what do we do Jason” you looked to your brother for protection.
“We're gonna slowly and quietly leave the store, don't want to attract the cra-” He shot up, pushing you out of the way and kicking the woman's head out of the way. She flew back giving you and your brother time to run as fast as you could out of the store. While you were running you saw more and more blood and gore, you just didn't seem to notice.
You got to the car and speed home. The radio was still on, with it blasting the current news:
“IT APPEARS THAT A VIRUS IS SPREADING THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, KILLING THE INFECTED, AND BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE AND ATTACKING OTHERS!
THESE INDIVIDUALS ARE AGGRESSIVE AND IF YOU COME ACROSS THEM EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY AND CALL LOCAL OFFICERS!”
“What- what does this mean” Your eyes started to water “What are we gonna do Jaso-” you were cut off-
“JUST BE QUITE and let me think” his grip on the steering wheel was turning his knuckles white as he stopped the car to think,
“Here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna go home, then pack our shit and leave! Head into the woods and wait this shit out” You nodded and jumped when a hand slammed on the window on your side, you shrieked causing Jason to jump when he saw the thing he floored the car.
Not once did he stop the car, not even when other cars were around. When you turned into the driveway of your home you hopped out and ran in to see your mom and Steven watching the TV. She leaped off the couch and hugged you tight.
“Oh baby, baby are you okay where were you guys!” she was crying, her already smudged makeup rubbing off.
“We were at-at the sto-store and w-we saw this woman all-all over the palace” you cried in her arms and hugged her arms
Jason busted in the door “Ma pack yer shit we’re leavin’ NOW! Y/n get our bow stuff, I'll get the campin’ stuff, Steven gets as much food as you can, Ma get essentials and anythin’ else we need”.
You ran to your room, grabbing your bear bow, quiver, and arrows. Doing the same and grabbing Jason's hunting bow and equipment. You grabbed your school bag and some clothes.
You were about done when you thought of something. You rushed to your mom's room and grabbed your dad's coat, you loved your dad's coat. It was a bit big but it'd be good in the winter or as a blanket.
By the time you were done, everybody was running out the door. Jason and Mom were packing the food and camping gear in the trunk of the car. Steven was “the lookout”, he was holding your dad's old shotgun when he saw a figure walking down the driveway,
“H-hey there’s someone comin'” Jason turned his head to see someone limping down the drive way. The man had half his arm ripped off.
“Shit, shoot it” Steven looked at Jason like he was crazy.
“Th-the hell you mean to shoot it? THATS A DAMN PERSON!” Jason slammed the trunk closed, and stormed over to Steven, and snatched the gun from him.
“Those things aren't people! They won't hesitate to eat ya!” he turned to you and your mom “Get in the car and start it, we’ll leave soon”
Your mom ushered you to the back seat furthest away from the thing as your brother called them. Your mom got in next and started the car. She looked panicked, gripping the stirring wheel out of nerves.
You heard the crack of a gunshot not that far away
“SHIT!” Jason yelled.You turned to look at the commotion, to see the figure with a giant hole in his chest, but he was still walking as if nothing happened.
“Sh-shoot it in the he-head Ja-Jason” Steven could barely talk but he tried to help the best he could. Jason re-aimed the gun and shot the head, well the best he could.
The thing finally went down and Steven and Jason hopped in the car, Jason in the front and Steven in the back. Your mom started the car and drove into the city, taking the path to the local campgrounds.
It seems that while your family was getting ready to leave, things got crazier. There were crashes everywhere, fire, smoke, and screams could be heard, and these, groans or moans could be heard if the things were close to the car.
When you got to the campsite it was quiet. Nothing could really be heard, not even the birds in the trees. Silent, just like the store.
***
“THE CDC HAS ISSUED A NATIONWIDE QUARANTINE ALL CIVILIANS ARE ORDERED TO STAY INSIDE OR GO TO THE ATLANTA REFUGE CAMP IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE ARE IN THE STATE OF GEORGIA
FOOD, MEDICAL SUPPLY, SHELTER, AND MILITARY PROTECTION WILL BE SUPPLIED”
The radio chatter went on and on, spouting the same things. It's been a week since the “outbreak”, as they’re calling it, happened. And in that small little window, your family and Steven have had to move twice, going deeper and deeper into the woods.
“D-do you think we should go to Atlanta? It's not that far from here” Your mom had been suggesting it, but your brother always dismissed it.
“Naw, too risky” he poked the fire “Eaters be everywhere and we’d be sitin’ ducks” You were torn on where to go, staying here you'd be by yourselves but at the same time you didn't have to worry if your neighbor was crazy enough to kill you for bread. But if you went to Atlanta you wouldn't have to worry about eaters –the new name for them– attacking you.
“We’re low on food, Y/n grab yer bow, were goin’ hunting” You nodded and hopped off the opened trunk. Running to your tent and grabbed your bow and quiver and hurried to your brother who was already leaving.
When you went hunting Jason made a rule that you couldn't make too much noise, not since he spotted an eater while he was hunting. You kept your eyes down on the forest floor to keep an eye on any tracks, while Jason kept an eye out for eaters and any animals.
When you found some faint deer tracks you tugged on his shirt and pointed to them. He kneeled down to inspect them and shook his head “Too old, probably dead by now” nodding your head you continued, but stopped in your tracks when you saw a doe looking at you.
She was beautiful, her eyes hadn't noticed you yet, but you had. Jason got up behind you “Guess ya were right, why don't ya bag it” he nudged you forward and you drew the bow back. The bow itself was new, you bought it yourself after cleaning your neighbor's yard for her, she was old frail, and couldn't do it herself.
You released the bow and it landed in her abdomen. She ran off deeper into the woods with whatever strength she had left. You and Jason chased after her, her blood leading her to you.
She was stronger than she looked because it took about twenty minutes before you caught up with her. Jason loaded his bow and shot it and hit her just below her shoulder blade killing her.
“Common, let's go get her and bring her back” You shouldered your bow and walked up to her with Jason. Since he was bigger he took up the grunt work and shouldered her while you carried his bow.
“Now, ya need to find our tracks” he huffed while trying to position her right “Should be easy enough since we were running” You nodded and glued your eyes down looking up when ever you heard something in the distance.
It took about an hour before you got back to your camp. You ran to your mom and hugged her “We bagged a doe, Jason gonna clean ‘er up the we’ll eat it” Jason dropped her by Steven “ya know how to clean a Doe Steven?” Steven looked from Jason to the Doe, back to Jason.
He swallowed deeply before answering “I-uhh I've never done it no” Joson rolled his eyes then sat down next to him and started to show him how.
It was one of the little things your dad never taught you. You've seen him do it, but he never shown you how. Jason had to teach you, and he did that in your kitchen, if your mom was there and sober she would've freaked out.
You sat next to your mom who was still paying attention to the radio. All it did was worry her as she bit her nails with her legs pulled into her chest.
“You okay momma?” you put a hand on her shoulder, she jumped a bit but eased up a bit when she saw you.
“O-oh ye-yea baby, im good” she smiled “How’d your hunt go with Jason?” you pulled your knees up to your chest
“it went fine, I found really old tracks and Jason brushed them off and when we looked up BAMB there she was!” you told the story of how you found the Doe.
Your mom softly clapped for you “Wow, you're a real Orion aren't you bear?” you smiled, your Momma loved Greek Mythology, and she always said if she could be a professor, teaching students about the great tales of the Greek gods and heroes.
“Ya know where your nickname comes from?” you shook your head, but you knew why, this was the closest you got to your old momma from before the accident, plus you loveed the story.
“Artimiss was the goddess of the hunt, and she swore off marriage—one of three goddesses to be exact– she would hunt on the earthly grounds with other women and nymphs. One of these women was a woman named Callisto, she was a hunter who was sadly assaulted and fell pregnant at the hands of Zues.”
you had a sad expression as if this was the first time you heard this “and Hera and Artemis found them. Artemis cast Callisto out and Hera turned her into a bear.” you gasped playfully, and she smirked.
“well she gave birth and Artemis guided the baby to civilization, and he grew to be a mighty hunter. And he came across his bear Momma and went to kill her, but Zeus saw this and before he could kill her, he put Callisto and her sun the stars” You rested your head on her shoulder and she hugged you. You sat there for a while as you looked at the stars.
“Well it looks like you brother is about done with the deer, shall we go sit by the fire?” you nodded and grabbed your bag which had your remaining books and sat by the fire
Jason started to put some meat on the fire. The blaze reflected in his dark green eyes, he looked like he was thinking about something. He checked his watch and figured it was time to take the venison off the grill. He gave it to you.
“She found it, she gets to eat it first” was his reasoning when Steven asked why you got it. Steven was very whiney, you suspect he’d be dead if he was alone.
***
It was deep into the night, and you just finished your comic book. Your Momma was looking for batteries for the radio, it had died about an hour ago and your Momma had been going crazy looking for them. When she finally found them she cheered with triumph and put the new ones in the radio. The radio roared to life with the same news as before.
Jason was poking the fire a bit while Steven was getting something from his tent. You got up and went sit by Jason. He gave you an odd look which you ignored and picked up your bow and began fiddling with it
“What are ya doin’ Y/n” he stopped what he was doing and looked at you.
“Jus’ sittin’ is all” you fiddle some more “and wondering” he went back to the fire
“about what?” you looked around your makeshift camp.
“if all of this will be over soon, and when we can go back” you looked up at him with hopeful eyes.
Jason stayed quiet, he didn't know. But if he was honest, he didn't mind it all that much–could go without the living dead though– it was like an extended camping trip.
SNAP
Your blood ran cold when you heard the groans and snarls coming closer. You shot up when you saw them closing in on the car. Your mom was running towards you as you held your stuff.
She grabbed your arm and ran to the woods as Jason and Steven stayed behind to fight them off. Your Momma dragged you into the woods further and further. You kept looking back to see other eaters staggering toward you
“Mo-momma, they’re behind us!” your mom just ran faster “I-I know baby but we just need ru-” Out of nowhere an eater came and attacked her.
She let go of your hand when another one latched its dirty maw on her shoulder. Her screams were horrid, you imagine it was the same scream she let out when the love of her life and baby were in the hospital. Just filled with horror and dread.
“Y/n, Y/n YOU NEED TO RUN!” you shook your head with tears in your eyes “NO LISTEN AND RUN NOW!” hearing the groans of another eater behind you made you run off into the woods. Crying as you heard the cries of your momma.
~~~ 2010, A few weeks later~~~
You had been on your own for a few weeks since your camp had been overrun. You thought about going back to it, to see if Jason or Steven got out okay. Well if Jason got out, you were sure Steven did. And you knew if he got out safe then Steven was safe–probably.
But you were on your own, so you had rules now: Always move, Stay in the trees at night, And NEVER stay if it's too quiet.
That's how you made it all these weeks alone. You rationed the food you managed to hunt on your own. It was small, with rabbits, birds, and a raccoon once. It was odd but it kept you fed.
At night you'd find a tree with a sturdy branch, climb it, ruffle in your bag for something to tie around you and the branch, and sleep. And repeat the cycle again the next morning.
*
You were currently in a tree, just waking up from sleep. The denim jeans you used to keep you tied to the tree were a little loose. You gathered your things, putting your bow around your torso, same with your bag.
You nimbly climbed down the tree and leaped out on the last branch and landed on the forest floor, you fumbled a bit but were fine nonetheless.
You made a small fire and cooked the last of the rabbit meat you had. After that, you put the fire out and continued on your way to nowhere.
You suppose you were in a good part of the woods, cause you could hear the birds singing some little tune they came up with. You humed along to it while walking on a fallen tree, balancing on it like a tightrope walker.
You stopped walking when you noticed deer tracks and debated on following them or not, but decided to just do it anyway, no set direction and all.
You followed them to a clearing, there wasn't anything there though so you just sat on a log. You figured it was safe enough to relax a bit. With an arrow, you start drawing random things in the dirt. You liked drawing, it was a pastime you did before.
You started drawing hearts, butterflies, and flowers, pretty things really. Then you drew your Momma, she was beautiful in your eyes, with long hair that reached her midback, and her beautiful green eyes.
You stopped what you were doing when you heard something in the distance, it sounded like something talking. You quickly loaded your bow and stood up aiming your bow at the noise.
There you saw two men. One was old, with short-cropped grey hair. He was bigger than the other one. The other guy was younger and more scrawny, he had squirrels tied around a rope, he had a crossbow, also aimed at you, and the old guy had a hunting rifle
“Well well well, what do we have here baby brother,” Old Guy said with the meanest grin on his face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next // I Met Two Old Guys In The Woods
Previous //
Taglist //
// Masterlist //
if you want to be added to the taglist lmk :D
#fanfic#twd#daryl dixon#x reader fanfiction#this took my fucking months and the fact i have to proof read like two-three other chapters#i also start my new job on sunday so thats fun#teen reader#platonic reader
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
🎀Stoner!Choso Drabble🎀
Choso x femreader 18+ literature ig lmfao MINORS DNI!! Includes: weed usage, fellatio!! Infidelity
MENTION OF CHEATING ON UR (aged up) BF YUJI LMFAO YOU’RE A BAD GIRL!!!!!
A/N: this is my first Drabble pls be nice ;-;
I’m also stoned so I should be able to do this right idk
CONTEXT: You’re just starting to fall in love with Yuji Itadori, 4 months of dating in and you have one fateful night with his OLDER BROTHER CHOSO!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a long, cloudy day of classes at University, you’re eager to get going to Yuji’s house. He loves watching movies, cuddling, and snacking with the weather so gloomy, Yuji always knew how to create sunshine on a rainy day (literally). The clouds above you darkened with a deep blue, and thunder boomed through the school grounds, the shit was so loud you flinched. It was that loud! You hurried to the train station to hopefully catch the soonest one to get to Yuji’s neighborhood, it wasn’t a far ride from University, but at rush hour the station can get pretty.. hectic. You send a quick message to Yuji to let him know you’re on the way, anticipating the large crowds already.
Y/N: Waiting for the next train! Should be 10 minutes :P movie night?
YUJI: YOU KNOW IT CUTIE ❤️❤️ I’ve got to run to the store to grab extra snacks and stuff. If you get there before me the door should be unlocked! I shouldn’t be long baby I can’t WAIT to see u 🥰🥰🥰
It didn’t bother you that you might be alone in Yuji’s apartment. He only lived with his older brother Choso, and he was either never home or isolated in his room, playing video games, his obnoxiously loud guitar or smoking weed. The dank reeked from his room each time he lit up, but it didn’t bother you much. You weren’t a little bitch about drugs. You’ll be on the couch picking options of movies for Yuji to pick through when he comes home from the store anyway.
With that thought, your train arrived, the doors slid open with the automated system announcing its departure to its destination. You stepped into the car and began to mindlessly scroll through your phone because let’s be honest, wtf else are you gonna do?? Updates on pop culture, memes, and the occasional thirst post is all that you see, nothing important but something to numb your brain until you arrive at your destination. Rain began to batter the train car and flashes of lightning filled the windows, followed by the inevitable crash of thunder. This storm showed no sign of stopping. You rolled your eyes because you forgot an umbrella, well you forget it every time because who just carries an umbrella with them? Not y/n, you barely get out of bed on time in the morning. The train stopped once again and the alarm chimed, vocalizing the arrival of the destination. You gathered yourself and your singular backpack, bracing yourself to run awkwardly through this pelting rain. The drops were thick and slapping the ground hard, shit looked painful. The doors slid open again and you began to speed walk towards Yuji’s apartment complex.
By the time you reached his unit, you were drenched. It wasn’t even a far walk but the rain was unforgiving, soaking your hair and clothes. The white button up that was your school uniform is now translucent, making it all the more obvious you forgot to put on a bra today too. Y/N is a hot mess tbh. Your skirt clung to your thick thighs and practically gave you a wedgie. After straightening yourself out and pulling your wet cardigan over your chest, you went to push the door handle down to enter the unit… Why is it not pushing?? It’s not moving.
The fucker forgot to leave the door unlocked.
You couldn’t help but groan and throw your head into your hands. Your silly boyfriend can be… something. With a few deep breaths you collect yourself again and pull your phone out swiftly, sending your grievances to your boyfriend expeditiously.
Y/N: Thanks for leaving the door unlocked cutie 🙃🙃
YUJI: WHAT?!?! I SWEAR I DID Y/N!!! I PINKY PROMISE!!!
*One Photo Attachment*
You chuckle out loud, adoring the fact that he actually sent a photo of his pinky. Yuji took pinky promises very seriously, so you had no reason to not believe him. But that doesn’t answer why the door is still locked?!
Y/N: Okay babe I believe you! Is Choso home? Maybe he locked it behind himself?
Yuji: He wasn’t when I left 😞 he went to go pick up more weed I think. He asked me to grab him some stuff too, I might be a little longer. IM SORRY BABY!!!! 😭😭😭😭
You can’t be mad at Yuji, you had no reason to. This is a mild inconvenience, not the end of the fucking world. You send a sweet message to calm your anxious boyfriend.
Y/N: It’s okay Yuji!❤️ I can wait for you here.
Yuji: You’re the best babe! I’m grabbing your favorite m&m’s now!
Your shoulders relaxed at the message, grateful for the sweet gesture. Yuji is seriously perfect. Your eyes dart up to the upper right corner of your phone,
5% is all you had. Well fuck… this was going to be harder than I thought. Hello boredom.
Just then, you hear loud muffled rock music approaching. A familiar black Subaru speeds into an empty spot near Yuji’s building, music still blaring through the small car, the beat was basically vibrating the windows. You recognize the song, even through a closed car you recognize Deftones anywhere. It’s Change, the guitars blaring through the complex. It’s Choso, though you can’t see him because of the white glaze over the windows, smoke seeps out of the small openings of the Subaru and the music keeps playing. He must be smoking while watching the storm, Choso was dark and moody like that. But you’d do the same thing if you partook in those activities. Your patience began to run out as Choso showed no sign of coming inside. You’d have to go ask him for his house key so you can get out of this fucking rain, it’s still coming down like a monsoon. You quickly walked back out into the downpour and frantically knocked on the black Subaru’s driver window. It was then opened to only a fucking inch or two, probably to contain his session. The veil of smoke escaping the car was opaque white, it caught you off guard with the sheer volume of it. The volume of the metal music died slowly. Two dark eyes glared out, staring at you in annoyance. Can’t he see it’s pouring and you’re trying to get inside!! The rain soaked your damp clothes again, causing a chill to run down your body, you nuzzled your wet cardigan closer, doing absolutely nothing for you.
“You broke the box,” Was all Choso groaned, hand resting on his chin with a blunt between his painted fingers. Was that supposed to mean something to you? “Choso, I need to get in it’s~”
“Get in then.” He smirks, pushing the unlock button inside, the audible click of the doors unlocking made you want to scream in frustration. The storm raging outside was still as strong as it started, the wind was now blowing. Twigs and branches were being swept across the parking lot. A lightning bolt hit a little too close for your comfort, and the crash of thunder that followed startled you right into Choso’s passenger seat. The black interior had LED lights strung across the dashboard and glovebox, you had to admit the car was pretty nice. The smoke didn’t really bother you either, at this point you’re getting used to it. What bothered you is that you’re still in your soaked school uniform, hungry and your boyfriend still isn’t here yet. You’re stuck with his stoned older brother, you have never spent time alone with him like this. Especially in his domain.
Your eyes are met with his after you scanned his car’s interior. He can see you have a look of approval and he’s smirking, a brown rolled cigar that can only be the source of this smoke is now in between you two. His index and middle finger holding the blunt as his nudges it towards you, “Wanna hit?” He asks lowly. The expression you give him tells him his answer. It’s not that he wanted to peer pressure you, he just enjoyed sharing his weed. Choso didn’t like smoking alone as much as most stoners would and he’s never really gotten to know his younger brother’s girlfriend. After his eyes read your clear NO expression, they floated to your soaked uniform. Your cardigan was not doing a good job of covering your chest, Choso noticed your nipples poking through the white blouse. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a beautiful sight. Choso took another deep drag off the blunt and inhaled sharply, puffing out his chest with an exaggeration. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick message, the swoosh of a delivered message played through his phone. “Where’s Yuji? He said he’d be back by now.” You finally said with a concerned tone, you tried to tap your phone to wake but were only met with a low battery flashing at you. You groaned again, Choso sees your distress and once again, offers his best solution. “You won’t feel so anxious if you hit it,” He raised the blunt between his fingers once more and gestured towards you. You scoffed at him and waved off his offer, “I think I’m already feeling it.” Your body did feel lighter and heavier at the same time. The seat sunk in with your body weight and you feel like you couldn’t move. “Lightweight,” Choso teases, and now he’s smiling.
You never really noticed Choso’s looks or even personality. This was your first time having a conversation other than the casual small talk you give to someone when you’re entering their house. He was cute.. hot would be a better word. His lips wrapped around the blunt and he took another deep inhale, the sound of his breathing was kind of.. erotic. Was the weed making you feel this way? This was all an entire new feeling and space you were in. It felt like you weren’t even on Earth anymore. The sun was setting, the storm was still raging on and the sky was getting darker, darker than normal because of the ominous clouds in the sky. The soft red glow of the car’s LED lights and Choso’s touchscreen dash were the only lights illuminating the black car, rock music was still playing too although it was at a much tolerable volume. Why was Yuji still not home? You directed your attention back to Choso who was rolling yet, another blunt. How much can this fucker chief? His long slender fingers split the cigar perfectly, he took his index to slide the guts into his cup holder ashtray. Now that was erotic, you suddenly thought about what his finger would look like sliding down your folds. He lifted the now empty cigar to his lips and licked the ends delicately, like a mother cat cleaning her newborn kitten. His spit trailed from his lips to the cigar and he wiped his mouth, setting the cigar on his rolling tray to prepare to break down the weed. “I know you’re curious over there,” He slyly said, making direct eye contact with the final lick. At this point you didn’t know if he was talking about smoking or him. You laughed, what he said wasn’t even funny but you’re laughing. Choso became hard not to stare at while he was rolling, he was gentle and grateful with his movements. His hair tied into messy space buns with face framing pieces falling into his face since he was staring down at his tray. He picked apart the weed nuggets into smaller portions and sprinkled it into the empty cigar. You never cared about drugs or smoking, but you weren’t totally opposed to trying it. Besides, Choso seems like a trustworthy guy you could have your first time smoking with. He seemed relaxed and happy too, what’s the harm in trying?
He lifted the filled cigar to his lips again, carefully placing his fingers around it to pinch the folds of the cigar together, licking in between like an envelope and sealing it shut. Choso noticed you staring again and decided to have some fun with you, he knows this look, you only give this look to Yuji but now it’s directed at him! Choso loved his younger brother more than anything, but he thought it was selfish that Yuji never brought your pretty ass around more. You’re cute, funny and hella curvy in the right places. Totally Yuji’s type, nah. You’re totally Choso’s type. With the blunt finally sealed, he picked his light up to his face. You couldn’t help but squirm at how hot he looked with the blunt between his lips and sparking it alive. His large chest rising and falling with each puff he took, ensuring that it would burn evenly. He took a moment to admire his work, smirking at the blunt then at you again. You froze in your seat, his hand generously offered one last time, he knows what it looks like when someone wants to but won’t ask. After a moment too long of debating, Choso took the blunt back to his lips and took a hit, “Hah, I’m just teasing princess, you don’t have to unless you want to. No pressure.” He says with a wink. Your flustered face made him laugh out loud, making him cough and choke on his hit. He beat his chest rhythmically and caught his breath again, “You’re cute,” He mutters and you both stiffen. The air became thick with tension and you weren’t sure if it was sexual or just plan awkward. Choso took another drag and that broke the silence, the heavy smoke that’s filled this tiny car for the past 15 minutes was like a chamber of marijuana for you. You were definitely high, your thoughts were everywhere but with Yuji, he was sweet, kind and everything you want. But something about Choso has you intrigued, he’s like a new flavor you want to taste, ride you want to take, a feeling you want to chase. Choso feels your longing, at his heightened level, he can read people better than before. He can see the way your legs clench together when he licks his lips, he can see you playing with your bottom lip, an obvious sign you’re thinking about something. Fuck it he thought, he sent Yuji on a wild goose chase anyway when you first got in his car. That’s what that last message was for, he asked Yuji to run to his favorite Rice house to pick up dinner. That should buy Choso enough time, he didn’t care about the consequences that will come from this. He was too high to care anyway, he felt needy, hungry, and so fucking horny. If he was going to make a move, he had to do it now.
Your body was boneless and your head was swimming, the effects of Choso’s hot box literally got you high. It felt great actually, you finally understood why so many people did it and felt bad for your previous judgement on Choso. Speaking of, he’s staring at you. This time his eyes were darker, there was something more than just a casual conversation inside and you got your clarification as Choso involuntarily adjusted his hardening cock in his sweats. They did no help covering his arousal, the mushroom head of his dick was so defined. He realized that you had caught him and a shade of red flushed his face. You’ve never seen such a calm guy so embarrassed, yet you weren’t embarrassed. You weren’t appalled or uncomfortable, you liked that you could make him feel out of control. And now that the ball was in your court, you took the chance. As if your brains connected and a spark blew, you’re climbing over each other to get in his back seat. Choso sits in the middle as you straddle his clothed lap, his hard cock pulsing in his sweats and you make it known that you’ve noticed. You whimper as your hips sway, grinding on his throbbing dick, he must be huge if you can feel him this much. Choso’s hands go to your waist then grip your ass aggressively, as if he’s holding on from you dry humping him and he’s absolutely loving it. He can’t imagine how good your pussy must feel, how your tits would look free from the chambers of your shirt and bounced while you’re riding his dick. He needed to focus so he doesn’t bust before he can actually feel you. He’s groaning and panting heavily as he claws at the buttons on your shirt, desperate to see what those perfect tits look like, or what they taste like. You follow his lead and quickly undo the rest of your shirt, he peels it down your back as his dark eyes widen. For the first time you actually see the white of his eyes, they’re always so dark with eyeshadow or dark period. Choso’s mouth watered at your figure and his hands eagerly quenched his thirst. They started at the sides of your jaw, he pulled your face down to look into his longing eyes. “Please, can I touch you?” Was Choso begging to touch you? The sight was all too beautiful, but could be better. You gave a smirk as your hands went around his waist to lift the black hoodie over his head, he adjusted his body so that it would come easier. This time your own mouth was watering at choso’s chiseled body. He didn’t wait for your answer again, you both just began to caress and squeeze each other. This felt like you’ve known each other and have been secretly in love, it shouldn’t feel this good the first time meeting your boyfriend’s older brother.
Unfortunately for you, with the combined sensations of being fucking high for the first time and Choso’s intoxicating touch, you forgot you even had a boyfriend. You were no longer on earth again, you and Choso were in this crazy spaceship filled with sexual tension. You couldn’t even think anymore with choso’s warm mouth against yours, his tongue teasing and lightly sucking on your own. Heavy breathing and fumbling limbs made the car all the much smaller and hotter. “You’re beautiful, y/n” His eyes drinking in your half naked, lustful body. Choso’s hand went up and down with a hard smack. Your back arched into him, shuddering at the sudden pain. You let out a half whimper half squeal and that made Choso all the more harder in his pants. “Fucking perfect,” he sneered again, taking the fat of your ass in his hands and squeezing again. The top of his fingers find the lace of your panties, “Off,” he quietly demanded. You decide it’s your turn to have fun with him. Your hand reaches down to fondle the hard length in his gray sweats, feather like fingertips grazed against his cock and he winced in agony. He bucked his hips up at an attempt to get more from you, your own smirk staring back at his flustered face. “Where’s those sweet fucking manners?” You whisper in his ear, fully emerging your hand into his sweats, no boxers. What a fucking slut~ you hummed darkly. You gripped his dick tightly, precum oozed out of his needy cock and he makes the most beautiful sounds, a whine with shuddering breath followed by pants. Music to your ears. “F-Fuck y/n,” he hisses, he didn’t expect you to take control so abruptly, but it’s making his balls ache for your warmth more. Choso doesn’t sleep around, but he’s not a virgin either. He didn’t care for casual sex at all, but this felt right to do. He definitely felt your body call him right? You were giving him the fuck me eyes right?
Choso couldn’t waste another fucking second overthinking the situation, he needed you now damn it!
“Please, y/n! I wan’ your pussy..” He lets out the most pathetic whine you’ve ever heard a man make. Now he’s really wanting you, hot, sweaty, high, and straddling him half naked in the backseat of his Subaru while the storm continues. Flashes of lightning were the only source of illumination, which is why you could miraculously see his beautiful blushing face. His bangs were sticking to his forehead and his space buns were more like ragged ponytails from your hands exploring his beauty. His tinted windows were fogged on the inside, a faint cloud of smoke still lingering in the small cabin of the car. You put your weight on your bottom and Choso holds your waist for stability, you spread your legs right there in his lap, your back now touching the center console. Thunder and lightning strike and assault the sky, giving Choso flashes of your half naked body and it makes him tremble. With one hand you pull the front of your skirt up and your fingers take your panties to the side, revealing your glistening cunt, it’s literally fucking glistening it’s so beautiful. Choso could’ve came in his pants right there, practically having to look away from your gorgeous cunt so that he can contain his own orgasm. He’s now understanding how Yuji can make those ridiculous sounds when he overhears you guys having sex. Fuck he wants to see if you can make him sound those high pitched moans and whimpers, hell you’re already doing it now. He’d bark if you asked him to, he’s all yours in this moment, he doesn’t want to waste another not knowing what that pretty pussy tastes like.
You lock hungry eyes and he leans in to ravage in your marinating mess waiting for him. Your longing bodies craving to be one, you can feel his hot breath on your fluttering pussy when suddenly-
Choso’s phone starts to ring.. it’s Yuji..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m throwing an edging party but you guys can’t come! :P
Tags for my pookie wookie bookies I love u: @comicalgrievance @milkpup
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey !! could you write something with sieun having an airhead reader like she is a little bit dumb but she is really kind ! thank you if you do so ^^ i think that would be a fluff with a she/her reader thank you again !!
dummy
kdrama!sieun x reader
// read req!
tags: gender neutral reader, teasing, sieun is kinda mean if you squint, airhead/dumb reader, cursing
note: idk how to feel ab this one sjjssj, hope you enjoy anonnie !!
♡
tap tap!
"hey sieun,"
he stopped reading the textbook in front of him to take out the earpods he had on, looking in your direction, signaling for you to continue.
"do you have any paper i could borrow?"
"no." he turned back around, going back to resume the work he was doing.
"ya, sieun!" you cocked your head to the side as you stood in front of him, "don't you ever eat lunch?"
the boy stared up at you, his gaze on the verge of a glare. "no." he went back to his work.
"but, how can you work with an empty stomach?"
he took a deep breath in, then out. he ignored you, hoping you'd go away. you stared at him for several more seconds before walking away. finally, he was left alone to finish his work before the break was over.
not for long though, apparently. minutes passed by before you came back. "sieun!! i got you some food! you must be so hungry, studying so hard all day," you placed a roll of gimbap and water bottle onto his desk. "how do you do that, anyway? my brain starts to hurt if i read for too long." you pouted. sieun knew you would not leave him alone if he ignored you, you were too...dense to realize he did not want to talk to you. he exasperatedly placed his pencil onto his desk, unwrapping the food in front of him. you smiled, seeing as you finally got him to do something other than say "no" or sigh.
whether he liked it or not, sieun unknowingly opened the floodgates for you to treat him more than a classmate. you met with him in the hallways, walking with him to class. you somehow managed to beat him to the classroom everyday, and you'd chat his ear off as he tuned you out. he found out that if he kept nodding you'd think he was listening. the thing is though, the more you did the things you did everyday, the more he came to expect it, and as a result, not mind it.
you began to buy him breakfast from the convienience store every morning: yogurt, a triangle gimbap, and a mini vitamin c drink. at first he denied them, but he quickly became accostomed to only having the gimbap, then trying the yogurt, then eventually having everything with you. you'd always turn a desk around to in front of his, making a make-shift table.
lunch was the same, you'd buy lunch and sit with him, talking about whatever popped into your mind. soon enough he started to listen. one could say he even.. liked it.
only a little though- yeah. a little. nothing could get in the way of his studies, he told himself.
that's to say he was more than a little shocked when one day he walked into the class at his usual time and you weren't there. maybe you woke up late? he tried to reason with his growling stomach. when you finally arrived in class with just a minute to spare, you didn't give him a glance.
days went by where you didn't bother speaking to him, and sieun felt very conflicted. he didn't know what to do in this type of situation, literally having no experience. but after lots of thinking, he decided it'd be best to ask you himself instead of wasting time speculating.
he knew your route home was along the way to his, and finally taking the intiative, he watched you as you walked home, following you from a distance. he couldn't place a finger on why it felt weird.
a minute, then two, then eventually five went by before you noticed anything suspisious. you would glance behind you and notice him- at first you assumed he was just on his way home, but after he passed the turn to his place, you were on alert.
sieun didn't even know what his plan was at this point; he at first wanted to talk to you before he passed his apartment, but it was way too late for that now, so he made the desision to pick up his pace and meet you at the point you were at.
as you heard the rapidly approaching footsteps, you whipped around, tired of the nagging that someone was watching you, ready to confront it head on. "what do you want!?" sieun almost jumped at the suddeness of your outburst, watching as tears welled up in your eyes. "i finally fucking understand, you don't have to pity me. clealy i'm too dumb to hang out with you because it took me this long to figure it out." you immediately regretted the words that left your mouth, feeling the embarrassment creeping up your body. he watched as you began walking away, finally making a move to catch up with you and grab your shoulder. "wait," he watched as you tried to shake him off, but was unable to due to the force he used to spin you around. "it's not like that.
i'm.. sorry i made you feel that way. please don't think i don't enjoy your company." he maintained eye contact with your tear stained eyes, "i appreciate it when you buy meals for me..." it took a bit for him to finish, "i don't think you're dumb." he watched the expression on your face, trying to detect any change in response to his words.
however, it wasn't anything as he expected, the tears that were trapped in your eyes escaped and your face scrunched up with sadness. "oh," sieun stood shocked. he thought you'd feel better. he didn't know what to do.
luckily, he didn't need to, as you stepped forward and embraced him. "..thank you.. i really needed to hear that." you mumbled into his collarbone, hiding your face in his jacket. you missed him a lot.
he didn't say anything as he hesitated to wrap his arms around you. just as quickly as you'd hugged him, you let him go, instead opting to hold his hand. your red eyes and tear stained cheeks were the only evidence that you'd been crying, the smile adorning your face proving otherwise. sieun looked down at your hands as you spoke, "let's go out to eat, okay? you must be hungry from all those missed meals," he looked back at you and nodded. your face turned from his as you pulled him along, and he couldn't help but feel relieved. finally, he had you back.
♡
taglist (send an ask to be added!) : @brxght-world @karyuliee @kkaesslovr @qtaisuu
#sieun yeon x reader#sieun x reader#sieun yeon imagines#weak hero class one#weak hero class 1 fic#weak hero class one x reader#weak hero class 1 x reader#kdrama x reader#kikisficz
308 notes
·
View notes
Text
—pour up. (m)
⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader x taehyung
⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / fuckboy!taehyung + smut
⟶ words: 14,048 (idk how it’s literally just smut)
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ summary: sleeping with both notorious frat boys kim taehyung and jeon jungkook doesn’t sound so bad ━ especially when you’re drunk and faded.
⟶ warnings: mentions of drug/alcohol use, essentially pwp lol, threesome, double penetration, voyeurism, messy rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dry humping, manhandling, doggy style, riding (sort of?), fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), face riding, face fucking, deepthroating, breast play, slight begging (mostly oc making jungkook beg hehe), brief name calling, dirty talking, unprotected sex, creampie
⟶ note: this is a repost of a fic from my old blog! also shout out to miss jlin @bratkook for being the sweetest and for liking this trashy fic of mine, and a happy early birthday present to @onherwings miss juno, the resident taekook lover!! 💛
also the accompanying song to this fic is pour up by dean!
There were times when you were sober where you were persistent about never being in a five foot radius of a frat boy, much less strip yourself of your dignity long enough to sleep with one.
Your appalling disgust and immense irritation of the male species that were frat boys kept you well in tune to your rule ━ until you’re far past the point of drunk and faded. Only then, when your bloodstream is laced with alcohol and your mind is nothing but a hazy cloud of smoke, you shrink into a shameless hypocrite and favour the appeal of a simple hook up. But you have needs too; it isn’t entirely your fault. Kim Taehyung offers you exactly that, with the promise to then act as if nothing happens the very next day so that the two of you can revert to despising one another out in public.
You act as if no one knows about your flings with ultimate frat boy Taehyung almost every weekend, as if they’re just as oblivious as you, but damn near the whole school knows and most certainly the rest of the boys in Beta Tau Sigma, or as Taehyung puts it, his brothers. It’s a useless cycle of bicker, avoid, drink, sex, and repeat, ever since you joined the school as a freshman and the sophomore boy took an interest in you. He’s charming in all the right ways and good looking but his smooth appeal was almost too good to be true and, past his “kind” smiles, you could make him out to be arrogant, vain, and cocky. Maybe you would have given him an actual chance had it not been for his snarkiness but all your brain could truly handle was his dick for a few hours a week.
Unsurprisingly, you always end up crashing at Beta Tau Sigma after one of their raging parties that results in your hook ups with Taehyung; surprisingly, Taehyung is miraculously into pillow talk post-sex and so he doesn’t entirely mind if you stay the night. But, by morning, when the alcohol has all but turned into a terrible hangover, he can hardly care less if you stay or not.
Usually, you wake up on your own, courtesy of past sober you setting an alarm on your phone to make sure you wake up earlier than all the other walkers of shame and anyone else in Beta Tau Sigma. Ideally, it was to help guarantee that no one would ever see you or judge you for stooping low enough to sleep with a fuckboy but you don’t know how well that’s working out for you anymore, if you’re being honest.
That’s why, early one fateful Sunday morning after a night of fun with Taehyung, you awaken with a start to the shrill Marimba tone that rips through the silence of the room and causes you to literally jump out of bed and crash onto the floor. You groan at the sharp pain that shoots up your spine and accompanies your groggy mind as your eyes flicker open only to be greeted with a blinding light that is the sun as it filters through the shut curtains. Littered on the ground are clothes, your clothes, beer bottles, red solo cups, discarded bed sheets, a singular condom wrapper (you thank your past selves for at least being sober enough to remember to use one), and your cell phone.
“Turn that shit off, for fuck sakes,” he grovels.
His hangover, and the early morning, makes his already deep voice even rougher, huskier, and you blame your disoriented mind for thinking he sounds even remotely sexy. He doesn’t bother to lift his head from his pillow or to find where you are in the room, the messy longer-than-usual curls of his hair flopping into his lashes as he flips onto his back. Other bodily remnants remain from the night before, from the mellowing ache between your legs left in the wake of his dick sufficiently railing you to the bite marks on his neck that you had so graciously bestowed him.
Now, you roll your eyes at him instead but dive for your phone nearby and tap the snooze button before it wakes the entire house and rouses the army of fuckboys from the dead.
“Good morning to you too,” You remark. “Is that better, princess?”
“Much.”
You push yourself to your feet and stretch, the stiff joints in your body popping and cracking, before searching for your clothes. You’re certain Taehyung has fallen back asleep as you dig around through the clutter to find your belongings but what else is new? It’s a routine the two of you have come to know well, and one that neither of you mind. You spot some sort of lacy material hidden underneath a few of Taehyung’s dirty laundry laying on the floor and reach for it thinking it’s yours. You’re only mildly disturbed to find that it isn’t yours at all ━ though you’re more concerned about the hygienic purposes of touching some other girl’s thong than you are about the blatant fact Taehyung sleeps with more girls than just you (a fact you swear you could care less for).
“Jesus Christ, your room is a disaster,” You scoff now.
“You could clean it,” Taehyung suggests sluggishly. Now, he’s awake, pretty and hooded eyes fluttering open to find you nearby. He props his hand behind his head to lift his gaze a little higher.
You snort, tossing the underwear away. “You never cease to━”
“Amaze you?”
“Repel me more than when I see the collection of thongs you have hidden in your room,” You correct. Fortunately, you spot your own underwear nearby and scoop it up, quickly slipping into them.
“Aw, baby, is that a bit of jealousy I hear?” Taehyung asks. He runs a hand through his dishevelled dark locks and shoots you a drowsy smirk. “You know you’re my one and only. I can always count on you when I want good head.”
“Please, flatter me some more, Tae,” You quip dryly.
As you hastily slide into your stiff shirt and jeans next and turn to face him, combing your fingers through your hair, Taehyung seems to take your words to heart and tries again. “You look like shit.”
You feign a voluntarily loud and overly dramatic moan. “Ugh, you really do know how to treat a girl━” Your cut off by a shameless snort from Taehyung before you continue on, “You know, you don’t exactly look the hottest right now either.”
“I beg to differ,” he replies nonchalantly. Technically, he isn’t lying, but you refuse to feed his ego any more.
“As if.”
“Funny,” he hums. “Could’ve sworn last night you were calling me hot when you were begging for my dick.”
You don’t bother to reply. Instead, you shake your head as you rub your tired face, uttering, “I need a coffee.”
“You could stay,” he offers. “I can make you one.”
“You don’t even know how to boil water,” You retort. “But thanks for the gesture. Try not to throw up on yourself today, okay?”
Taehyung mumbles something in response but then he’s already flipping over onto his side to fall back asleep again. You grab your bag from the floor and slip into your shoes before tiptoeing out of the room.
The Beta house is just as much a disaster as Taehyung’s room is and you find yourself stepping over more bottles, cups, empty pizza boxes, and hungover passed out people with phallic images doodled on their faces. The sun filters into the ever grand mansion and only illuminates the chaos the frat boys put it through. Everyone is thankfully still asleep as you head downstairs but, as you sneak past the kitchen, you notice two figures rummaging about, boisterous unabashed laughter filling the house that somehow hasn’t woken the others yet.
Jeon Jungkook stands before you with Park Jimin, both fellow Beta brothers, though Jungkook is in the same year as you. They, like most other Beta boys (and especially Taehyung), are well known on campus but Jungkook is perhaps even worse than Taehyung. Now, he’s adorned in only low hanging gray sweatpants that show off the ripples of his toned chest and the happy trail that threatens for your eyes to follow it. He holds a bowl of cereal close to him with the same arm decorated on every inch with tattoos, a snapback pushing his messy hair up and away from his forehead. The best part (and you mean that not at all) ━ or the worst ━ is the fact that he stands on a hoverboard, as if walking is too much for him to handle at nine in the morning. Jimin isn’t far off wearing the same attire, only his look is paired with the fuckboy-essential-starter-pack of socks and Adidas slides, and he’s at least actually using his legs to walk.
“Morning,” Jungkook smirks. “Time for the walk of shame?”
You have to retain a sigh. “I’m surprised you’re up, Jeon. I was sure you were gone past the point of saving last night.”
“A couple of shots do nothing for me,” Jungkook replies, shovelling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “I was pretty much sober.”
At this, you sit back on your heels and look him once over skeptically. “You kept trying to hook up with me, called your dick Jungcock, threw up in one of the vases, and then passed out in the bathtub. I wouldn’t have exactly called you sober.”
The smirk remains on Jungkook’s face. If anything, he seems more so amused and it pisses you off. Jimin bursts into a fit of laughter and shakes his head.
“Always a pleasure seeing you, Y/N,” he greets. “Hey, are you coming to the party going down at Lambdas house after exams? It’s pretty exclusive but you and your friends are all invited by courtesy of us.”
“Ugh, I can’t even think about going to another party right now. How do you Beta whores do it?” You grovel. “Besides, why would we come if we know you’re going to be there?”
“‘Cause Tae’s going and you’re probably gonna wanna suck his dick,” Jungkook suggests snidely.
“I was gonna say the free booze,” Jimin offers instead. “Man, you know the Lambdas. They’re all rich pretentious sons of country club owners. They hardly throw parties but, when they do, you know it’s going to be wild. I wouldn’t miss it if I were you.”
“Well,” You say, “thanks for the invitation but we’ll see. Maybe if we have a pre-game where I can get drunk enough to handle your faces and the Lambda boys together.”
“I’ve always said you’re more fun when you’re drunk,” Jungkook hums pensively. Your eyes narrow into a glare and you’re fortunate Jimin is there to block your path from tackling Jungkook.
“Okay, whatever,” You grumble. “I’m out of here. I think if I stay here any longer, I’ll lose all my brain cells.”
Jimin chuckles but hardly seems bothered by your comment. He waves you off as he slips out of the kitchen to retreat into another room, leaving you alone with Jungkook.
“Can I get you anything before you go?” he asks. There’s a cheeky tone laced in his words that makes you blatantly aware he’s trying to suggest something more, like his dick.
“Absolutely not,” You wave him off. “See you around, Jungidiot.”
He grins and shoves another spoonful into his mouth. “Hey, maybe next Saturday you can think about blowing me instead of Tae, yeah?”
He’s met with you jamming your middle finger in his face and it only seems to entertain him further. As you march out of their home, slamming the door behind you, you have one discernable thought amongst your hangover and that is that you’ll definitely need to have that pre-game before you have the audacity to even see Jungkook, or any of the Beta boys for that matter, at the Lambdas.
That Saturday, you find yourself at the Lambdas house party.
So maybe you had sort of been lying when you said you weren’t so sure of going to it, but the thought was tempting enough and you aren’t one to pass up on a good party, especially when it’s after weeks of headaches and stressing over studying and exams.
Mid-terms come and go and when you finally finish writing your last paper, all you want to do is let loose and party and get dicked down by Taehyung. The Lambdas, despite their pretentious behaviour, looks to be very promising ━ but only after you down a few shots beforehand and have a beer while you’re getting ready. You’re not exactly as drunk or as tipsy as you would have prefered but it still gives you a nice enough buzz that makes you warm and lets the adrenaline pump in your veins and excites you even more for the party. The house you rent is off campus but it’s close to Beta’s and Taehyung offers to give you guys a lift to the Lambdas who are a fifteen minute walk away (but you know Taehyung will do anything to not walk anywhere his penny board can’t take him ━ and it’s not even Taehyung who is driving but his friend, Jin).
You can hear the party at Lambdas before you’re even there. The thump of bass coming from the house isn’t hard to miss, especially not with the way it seems to rattle the ground the closer you get. The house is crammed full to capacity and people have already begun to spill onto the lawn by the time you have arrived. A potent waft of alcohol and weed fill your senses and it is all you could really make out in the rambunctious party. You can hardly hear yourself think, let alone what others are saying to you. Yet, you still found a way to have fun almost instantly, drifting away from the guys to party with your friends.
Most of the night is a blur and a haze of confusion but you can remember drinking and drinking some more until you’re sufficiently smashed. You can’t quite recall where you had lost your friends, though you suspect it was after the intense game of beer pong you were suckered into in which you were certain there were no winners or losers as it was just an excuse to drink even more. It’s nearing 1 a.m. when you finally bump into a familiar face, pulling you back from the unruly party and the adrenaline rush coursing through your veins.
You’ve just slipped outside for some fresh air, perched on the front porch, when you notice Jimin is passed out on the lawn below. The other stragglers gathered outside barely take note of him but maybe that’s because he had chosen to faceplant in the shadows under the porch, tucked safely away from the rest of the party. Just before you can even think to walk over to him and make sure he’s still alive, the front door of the house swings wide open and a frenzied Taehyung bursts outside, shortly followed by an equally dumbfounded Jungkook.
“Where the fuck is he?” Taehyung hisses.
“I don’t know,” Jungkook sighs, disgruntled, “but leave it to him to run off and disappear.”
“Looking for someone?”
The two boys startle at your voice. They whirl around to find you taking a sip of the drink in your hand, as if only just noticing your presence. You hadn’t seen them since you parted ways a handful of hours ago in the party, though you’re fairly certain they’re just as smashed as you.
“Ah, babe!” Taehyung beams wolfishly. “What a pleasure seeing you out here. Uh, you wouldn’t happen to have seen where Jimin went, would you?”
You nod in the direction of the sleeping boy down below. “He’s there. He’s passed out cold, though. What the hell did you do to him?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook says. He grimaces as he hastily follows Taehyung down onto the lawn to stand near Jimin, and you in tow. “Jimin just likes to get out of hand. What should we do, Tae? We can’t just leave him here and Luna’s going to be pissed if she sees him like this.”
Taehyung stares down at Jimin miserably, thinking momentarily. “Well, Luna’s looking for him so we might as well drop him off at her dorm. He can deal with her when he’s sober.”
There’s a brief moment where you spot Jungkook seriously considering this though, as if leaving Jimin on the lawn of a frat house is a safer option than returning him to his girlfriend. Ultimately, he caves and you watch as Taehyung nudges Jimin awake (and by nudge, you mean he slaps the boy across the face) before pulling a very disoriented Jimin to his feet and slinging one of his arms over Taehyung’s neck.
“Fuck, he’s heavy,” Taehyung huffs. “Give me a hand, Jungkook.”
Jungkook nods, stepping forward to take Jimin’s other arm and hook it around his own neck. The two boys seem to be struggling carrying most of Jimin’s body weight, though they’re carrying mostly dead weight as Jimin continues to drift in and out of consciousness.
Before they can leave you offer to help though you don’t know what you can really do so you suspect your inebriated mind just wanted to go with them for the hell of it. Luna’s place isn’t far. It’s a ten minute walk from Lambda’s, but in that ten minutes, none of you talk about anything of real importance except for chuckle and laugh about things that happened at the party.
Eventually you make it to Luna’s, who answers the door angrily after you knock on it as if you’ve disrupted her slumber and frowns when she sees Jimin’s current state. At least she has the decency to thank the three of you. When she shuts the door behind her, the three of you turn to look at one another, almost clueless.
“So, what now?” Taehyung asks. “Head back to the party?”
The thought of making the ten minute walk back to the party in your drunken mind seems like an eternity. That, mixed with the way your feet scream in agony from the heels you’re wearing, you begin to pout and shake your head.
“I can’t walk anymore,” You whine, words drunkenly slurring together. “I’d be fine just sitting here.”
Jungkook’s nose scrunches as he looks at you once over. “How drunk are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, how about we just go back to our place?” Taehyung asks. His arm slides around your waist then, tugging you close to his side. If one thing is for certain, the boy tends to get more handsy the more drunk he is, and you never seem to mind. “I’ve got a fresh bowl we can hit and we can drink there and just chill?”
You and Jungkook consider Taehyung’s offer fleetingly and, to you, it seems much more appealing.
“Sign me up,” You say. “The Lambdas were a bit too over the top for my liking. There’s only so much I can handle.”
Jungkook shrugs and nods in agreement. “Then I guess I’m going with you guys.”
The five minute walk to Beta is short and soon you’re inside the eerily empty house and climbing the steps to Taehyung’s room but not before the three of you raid their cabinets for any type of liquor. Eventually, you’re all lounging in Taehyung’s room, some type of music playing in the background as the three of you pass around a bottle of whisky and the bong Taehyung had promised he had, giggling at each other.
By 2 a.m., you are smashed and faded but blissfully so.
Taehyung and Jungkook are not too far off. It’s Taehyung who comes up with the idea to play strip poker, though with a twist. His version of the game includes: taking a shot anytime one of you loses a round along with either stripping an article of clothing or being allowed to pass it and get dared to do something else, though each person only has three passes.
Jungkook loses the first round, shedding only his jacket. Taehyung and you lose the second round; you decide to strip out of your own cardigan while Taehyung flicks off his hat. Jungkook and Taehyung lose the third round and both kick off their shoes. The game progresses slowly, with the three of you coming up with “clever” loopholes out of the rules, like stripping one sock one round and then another sock the next and all of you are too drunk to really protest. Eventually, the game winds up with Taehyung and Jungkook both in their pants and you still wearing both your shirt and jeans. Both the boys have used one of their passes and are still losing which, you will admit, boosts your confidence ever so slightly especially when you have such a nice view in front of you.
Both boys are toned, with certified gym rat Jungkook’s abs a bit more chiseled, and you know that sober you would cringe at how hard you seem to be drooling over them. Jungkook must notice because he shoots you a wink that has you squirming in your seat.
“Like what you see?” he asks.
“N-No,” You say shortly. “Shut up and go. It’s your turn.”
You end up losing that round, unfortunately, but you have no qualms with stripping out of your jeans and kicking them to the side. The next round, you lose again, except you decide to use one of your passes which has both boys groaning in defeat.
“Remember,” You coo, “play nice boys.”
The two exchange a look and you wait patiently, taking your shot of whisky in the meantime as Taehyung chides you on encouragingly with a cheeky, “Pour up, baby girl.”
You down the shot in one gulp, wincing as it burns down your throat, then chase it quickly with the drink you had stolen from their kitchen. A drowsy smirk tugs at Taehyung’s lips as he takes another rip from the bong, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he hums insouciantly, “I’ve got your dare.”
There’s a split moment where he makes eye contact with you and pushes his hair out of his eyes.
“Come here and kiss me.”
Had you been sober, you might have rolled your eyes at his simple yet assertive dare but, instead, you can’t help but snicker as you lean across to him from your seat on the floor and pull him down for a not so graceful kiss. His whisky coated tongue instantly collides with yours in an open mouthed frenzy that’s full of teeth clashing and wet sounds but it’s hot, too hot, even as Taehyung pulls you closer to him with his hand grasping at your chin. You instinctively react, teeth nipping at his lower lip as you suck hard, momentarily forgetting about Jungkook sitting in the room.
A moan emits from you as your fingers thread through his hair. Jungkook is left to watch but his eyes stay locked on your figure and the way you cave so easily to Taehyung, the way your mouth moves against his. He can’t seem to tear his eyes away from your position on your hands and knees, or the way you arch your back in an attempt to get closer to Taehyung, and he certainly can’t seem to look away from the tempting curve of your ass jutting in his direction. All Jungkook suddenly wants is for you to be kissing him the same way you’re kissing Taehyung.
You’re only interrupted when he finds the nerve to clear his throat after a few moments. “Nah, it’s alright, I’ll just sit here. Do you guys want me to leave?”
He’s being sarcastic, of course, and when you and Taehyung part to look at the boy, he’s scowling. The two of you chuckle lightly but don’t respond, though you remember the game you’re still playing. Taehyung kisses you one last time before you settle back onto the floor, a sheepish giggle bubbling in your chest. Taehyung loses the next round and he decides to strip down into his underwear though he hasn’t lost yet (the goal is nudity and neither of your drunk selves have enough dignity left to give up before then).
The round after that, you lose again. You decide, once more, to use another one of your passes and the two boys pause, thinking of a dare for you as you take a shot (which, you have realized, only get harder to take as time passes).
“I have one,” Taehyung says at long last.
“Bro,” Jungkook groans, “if you just wanna fuck, let me know. I’ll leave. I don’t think I can sit here and watch you dare her to suck your face again.”
Taehyung laughs and shakes his head. “Easy there. I was just gonna suggest that you━” he points at you before nodding toward Jungkook, “give him a lap dance.”
“A what?” Jungkook’s jaw drops open, his eyes widening. “M-Me?”
You glance up at Taehyung, quirking an eyebrow. “Him?”
Taehyung erupts into another fit of laughter but he’s the only one who finds the situation hilarious because you and Jungkook continue to sit there, dumbfounded. When Taehyung calms himself down, he wipes his eyes and shakes his head.
“Are you seriously telling me you haven’t been noticing?” he asks.
“Noticing what?”
“The way Jungkook keeps eye-fucking you,” Taehyung says simply.
Jungkook gaps. “The fuck? I haven’t.”
“Jungkook, you’re not exactly sly,” Taehyung says. “He’s been doing it the whole night, babe. It’s not the first time he’s done it, too. I just figured we could do him a little favour.”
Your turn to look up at Jungkook and purse your lips. He’s seated in Taehyung’s desk chair and has a frown painted on his face. It’s not like it comes as a surprise to you because he’s constantly trying to flirt with you even when you’re sober but his sudden flustered appearance puzzles you slightly. You’ll admit the idea is ludicrous, but Jungkook is undeniably hot, and grinding on his dick sounds more than wonderful to you in your current state. Either way, you stand to your feet.
“I’ll do it,” You say. “Why not?”
“Wh-What?” Jungkook yelps. “You will?”
“Yeah,” You flash him a pearly smirk. “What? Is confident Jungkookie finally shy?”
At the mention of the taunting nickname, he straightens up in his seat and scowls. “No. I’m just surprised you gave in so easily. You must really like me, huh?”
“Keep dreaming, Jeon,” You retort.
The music is still playing in the background as you slink towards Jungkook’s seated figure. Meanwhile, Taehyung is watching with an amused look on his face and sits back, clearly enjoying the view as he tells you that you have three minutes. As you approach Jungkook, he leans back in his seat and watches you with dark eyes. Jungkook’s eyes sweep over your figure, from the way you muse your hands through your messy hair, your tight tank top with one strap falling down your shoulder, your lacy and scantily clad underwear, and your smooth legs. He gulps at the sight and shifts in his seat.
As soon as you’re standing in front of him, you whirl around so that your back is to him and jutt your butt out just enough to catch his attention as you sway your hips to the music. Your hands ghost up your sides just faintly enough so that chills run down your spine and you lock eyes with Taehyung for a split second to see him grinning. You sit back on Jungkook’s lap and his breath hitches in his throat suddenly. He hates to admit how easily you’re driving him crazy and as soon as you are but he takes the time to enjoy the dance anyway, eyes staying trained on your ass as you grind against him in agonizingly slow circles and right against his dick nestled against his thigh. He can’t help it when a moan emits from him.
“Fucking hell,” he grunts, raking his hands through his hair. You snicker at his reaction, craning your neck to look behind at him.
“Enjoying yourself, Kookie?”
“N-No,” he rasps. This is a lie, of course. “Turn around.”
His command only humours you but you don’t disobey. You get up for a second to spin around and face him before climbing back onto his lap, swinging one leg over his. Before you drop your hips completely on him, you’re rocking them back and forth against the thin air, your hands snaking around his neck. His hands suddenly find purchase on your waist and he yanks you down onto him with a sudden neediness that surprises you, though you don’t complain. You continue to grind against his lap and you can’t help your greedy self when your hands reach out to run up and down his toned chest. He shivers at your slightest touch, his jaw clenched, but he keeps his gaze focused on your eyes, as if challenging you for more. Behind you, Taehyung is taking another hit from the bong and laughs lightly at Jungkook’s reactions.
“Let him touch you,” Taehyung says.
You expect Jungkook to listen to Taehyung and reach out to grab onto you but he hesitates, his hands remaining at your hips. So, instead, you take his hands in yours and begin pulling them up, sliding them along your midriff and up to your chest. You don’t even flinch as you let him cup your boobs over your clothes and you watch him slyly as he gulps.
“Is this the first time you’ve actually touched a girl, Jungkook?” You quip. “You’re gawking at my boobs like it is. Not gonna wet yourself, hm?”
“Fuck off,” he growls, though there’s no malice in his voice.
Instead, he focuses his attention on your breasts and the weight of them in his palm. They’re soft and supple and he squeezes them firmly, jiggles the flesh as he fondles at you blatantly. He hates to admit it but he feels as if he’s going to combust at any second, repressing the sudden urge to tear off your shirt and burrow his head in your chest, your boobs in his mouth. He doesn’t know whether the soft moan that slips from your parted pink lips is intentional to mess with him or because you had been getting carried away yourself. Either way, Jungkook’s certain it’s the hottest thing he’s heard in a while, the hottest thing he’s seen in a while, and he hates how his sudden erection forms, how embarrassing it must be. When you feel his hardened length start to poke at your thigh, you look down at him past your lashes and smirk.
“Are you hard already, Kookie?” You giggle.
Taehyung roars with laughter abruptly and the outburst only makes Jungkook redden.
“I━I━” he stammers helplessly.
You shake your head at him and then purposely press your hips a little more firmly against his, gripping at his shoulders now. You’re challenging him now too, and he doesn’t know what you have in mind but you’re wickedly set on making him cum in his pants before Taehyung stops you.
“Time’s up,” he says.
Jungkook almost groans out loud in frustration when you pull away and step off of his lap. He’s embarrassingly hard now but his drunk self doesn’t try very hard to hide it. Taehyung’s stare is settled on Jungkook as you walk back to your seat but, before you can even sit down, Taehyung is beckoning you over.
“Come here, babe,” he hums. You look at him curiously but move in his direction. “What do you say we help Jungkook with his problem, huh?”
“Help? How?” You question.
“Come sit,” Taehyung gestures to his thigh.
Jungkook watches with silent seething jealousy as you take a seat on Taehyung’s thigh and then he’s kissing you, pressing his lips against your neck. You react almost instantly, your head craning to allow him more access and your eyes clamp shut, your mouth hanging open in delight.
“Tae━” You mewl, tugging at his hair, as if to prompt him wordlessly about Jungkook’s presence. But when does it become too much? Every action seems to keep building and building, that you know where the night surely must be heading; that you crave it.
Taehyung’s tongue swirls at your neck, his lips sucking on the sensitive skin, before he peeks one eye open to look at Jungkook.
“Look at him,” Taehyung hums against you. “Look at how jealous he is right now. Look at how bad he wants to be me right now.”
You take a moment to register his words, your head spinning. You struggle to find Jungkook as Taehyung continues to ravish your neck. Jungkook’s stare is hard, his jaw clenched; his hands are balled into tight fists that let you see the bulging veins in his arms. Is he jealous? Angry?
Taehyung suddenly bites down onto your neck and you gasp in surprise, leaning against his chest. His nimble fingers find the hem of your shirt which he lifts and discards on the floor with ease. Next to come off is your bra. You don’t realize your torso is bare until a slight breeze hits your breasts and perks your nipples and Taehyung reaches up to cup the soft tissue in his large hands and Jungkook can’t look away because, fuck, touching you is all he really wants to do.
“Do you see him staring now?” Taehyung asks. “Do you see how desperate he is for you? Look at how bad he wants to touch you right now, baby girl. Will you let him?”
You’re still staring at Jungkook as Taehyung speaks and note how fast Jungkook’s demeanour has changed. He looks helpless, his erection more prominent in his straining jeans which he shamelessly palms at to feel some sort of relief.
“Better yet,” Taehyung hums, averting your attention back to him. He’s sliding one of his hands down your front and in between your legs, pushing your thighs apart. His digits come in contact with your clothed pussy and the sudden touch, light and feathery, makes you jump and gasp. You hadn’t been aware of how wet you had been until he touched you just then and the coil in your stomach only tightens with each passing second. “Will you let him play with you?”
It takes you a second to respond, though that isn’t because you’re struggling to decide. The thought entices you far more than you ever believed it could. Taehyung is suddenly rubbing his fingers against your clothed clit in so very slow circles that it suddenly has you tripping over your own thoughts. You’re biting hard onto your lower lip as you force yourself to nod hastily.
“Do you want him to?” Taehyung asks.
“Fuck, yes,” You whine. “Mmm, Tae━”
Taehyung shifts you in his lap so that your back is pressed against his chest, leaning all your weight against him. It’s hard to focus as one of his hands fondles one of your breasts while his other presses figure eights onto your clit. You’re on full display for Jungkook now, though his eyes fall to the wet spot that forms on your pretty little underwear as your arousal leaks from you.
“How badly do you want him to?” Taehyung asks.
“So badly,” You whimper.
This catches Jungkook’s attention and he leans forward in his seat. Taehyung smirks against you and then he’s moving, withdrawing his hand from between your thighs to hook around the waistband of your underwear. He gives it a quick tug and you fumble to lift your hips so he can pull the useless fabric down your legs. Once it pools at your feet, you kick it off to the side and then Taehyung’s hand returns between your thighs.
“Spread your legs,” he says.
You do as you’re told, pushing your thighs apart but then instinctively squeezing them shut when Taehyung continues to press his fingers against your clit. The sudden stimulation is too much for you and your face begins to heat up so Taehyung uses the chance to push your legs apart for you. He hitches one of your thighs over his own as if to anchor you in place and it works.
“Can you stay like that for me, baby?” Taehyung drawls. “Look at Jungkook for me.”
You nod, your throat dry as you lift your gaze to lock eyes once more with Jungkook. You find the boy gawking at your sex and you moan suddenly. His head snaps up to stare at you with a sudden blazing determination and lust in his eyes before they fall once more to your pussy, admiring the way it pulsates each time Taehyung swipes at your clit or tweaks at your nipples. But the best part? The best part is just how wet you are, your clear juices coating Taehyung’s fingers, spilling onto yours and Taehyung’s thighs with the passing seconds, and suddenly Jungkook is hungry for you. But what he doesn’t know is how you suddenly imagine Jungkook in Taehyung’s place, sat beneath you poised daintily on his lap, his fingers pressing against you.
You twist on top of Taehyung, your own hand reaching up to grasp at your other breast, pinching at the nipple tightly. A delighted moan fumbles from your lips. “Jungkook━ Fuck━”
“It’s nice, yeah?” Taehyung asks aloud to the other boy. “She’s pretty, hm?”
Jungkook nods eagerly and then groans. “She’s dripping. Fuck, it’s so hot.”
Your face burns at his words but you don’t have enough wits to think of a snarky retort like usual.
Taehyung chuckles. “Why don’t you come here then and touch her? Taste her? Is that okay, baby?”
When you realize Taehyung is asking you, you nod eagerly. “Shit, please━ Jungkook, wanna feel you━”
At your request, Jungkook practically tumbles out of his seat. As soon as he’s standing on his feet, the realization seems to hit him and he takes his time, walking to you slowly. His gaze sweeps over your exposed body and he licks his lips, his eyes suddenly darkening. Taehyung doesn’t stop touching you or marking your neck his even as Jungkook walks closer and it hits you in that moment what exactly you’re doing and who you’re with ━ and you fucking love it. Jungkook kneels down in front of you and Taehyung nods in encouragement.
“She’s impatient and feisty,” Taehyung informs. “But that makes her fun to tease.”
“I know how to pleasure a girl,” Jungkook quips.
“But you don’t know how to pleasure Y/N,” Taehyung replies. “You’re too cocky, Jungkookie, and she doesn’t like that. You need to take your time with her and you don’t do that often with girls, do you?”
Jungkook doesn’t respond but, judging by his face, you assume Taehyung is right.
“What do you want me to do?” Jungkook asks. He’s staring at your face now and only your face. His intense stare makes you squirm on Taehyung’s lap, and makes you suck your lower lip between your teeth.
“Touch me,” You rasp. “Touch me, please, Jungkook.”
God, how he loves hearing you moan his name. But the anticipation is killing you. You’ve felt Taehyung’s fingers plenty of time; you’ve never felt Jungkook’s, and the abrupt need seems to grow more intense with each passing second.
“You heard her, Jungkookie,” Taehyung says. He draws his hand away from your heat and kisses your neck softly. “Go on. Touch her. Be gentle, go slow.”
Jungkook is shaking with excitement ━ or maybe it’s just the weed and alcohol in his bloodstream ━ but he eyes you carefully, gnawing down on his lower lip. He reaches out at a tedious pace and hesitates, his fingers hovering over your core. Taehyung is watching with eager eyes whilst planting open mouthed kisses along your shoulders, neck, and jawline. Jungkook finally presses his fingers against your pussy and your reaction is immediate. You toss your head back against Taehyung’s shoulder and jutt your hips forward.
“Nnngh, fuck, Kook━” You whimper. “M-More━ Wanna feel more━”
Jungkook takes that as a good sign and follows after Taehyung, rubbing circles into your clit slowly. He feels just how wet you are, his fingers coating with your cum as they move with ease past your folds, and it’s enough to let the wave of glee wash over him again.
“See? Look how much she loves it already,” Taehyung says. “Keep going.”
Jungkook doesn’t need to be told twice. As he rubs his fingers over your clit, his other hand comes up in a greedy fashion. He can’t stop himself from slipping a finger past your folds and it takes all you can not to moan out loud but you give up on the prospect of remaining quiet when it feels so good to have both boys on you.
“Let him know how you feel, baby,” Taehyung purs. “How he’s making you feel.”
You struggle to find your voice momentarily, too caught up with the lust and desire but then a cry of delight falls from your lips. “Fuck, ah, Jungkook! That feels s-so good━”
Jungkook’s head snaps up to look at you in pure disbelief.
“Holy shit, that’s so fucking hot,” he huffs. “I never thought you’d moan my name and now you’re so wet and tight and for me━”
“And me,” Taehyung admonishes offhandedly.
Jungkook doesn’t reply but that’s mostly because he’s suddenly fixated on curling his finger inside of you and watching your every reaction. Your hips jut forward and you cry out, panting at the blissful feeling but it isn’t enough. You need more, and you need more now. As if Taehyung can read your mind, he chimes in again, disrupting yours and Jungkook’s reverie.
“Why don’t you have a taste of her?” he asks. “You won’t regret it.”
Jungkook’s eyes light up and he watches as you nod eagerly, desperate pleas coming from your mouth. Jungkook lowers himself down between your thighs and you wait with bated breath before he’s licking a clean stripe against your folds with his flattened tongue. The sudden slippery warmth has your body writhing in pleasure.
“Jungkook━” You cry out. “Oh my god━”
Jungkook grins. Then he’s licking at you again, tasting your sweet succulence, and groans into your hot core.
“Shit,” Jungkook huffs. “You taste amazing.”
He nibbles down slightly on your clit without warning and tugs. You instantly jerk into his mouth, a strangled moan ripping from your throat that sounds something like a scold of his name and a desperate plea for more. “Jungkook!”
Taehyung snickers against your neck and you can feel Jungkook’s lips curl into a taunting smirk between your thighs. Jungkook’s finger still curls deep within you as his tongue returns to lapping at your clit and you can feel his nose brushing against you the deeper he burrows into you. Meanwhile, Taehyung is continuing to ravish your neck, his hands tweaking at your nipples. The onslaught of senses is so much for you that you nearly scream when Jungkook’s tongue dips into your heat so suddenly to accompany his finger. He laps at you hungrily and you gasp, your breath stuttering as your hands come down to tug hard in his raven locks, your hips bucking forward and into his mouth. It feels fantastic, too incredible for you to put into words, as you feel the wetness of his tongue lap at your walls and suddenly you’re aware of just how susceptible you are to both of the boys near you.
“Fuck, don’t stop, Jungkook,” You moan.
“Now who’s the needy one?” Jungkook coos against your cunt. “Gonna cum on my tongue?”
“P-Please━ Want it so badly, Kook━”
He smacks his lips against you, taking as much as he can of you into his mouth and sucking hard until all you hear are the lewd wet sounds of his tongue and finger working miracles against you. You’re clutching his hair so tight, pushing him closer into your heat but he doesn’t relent. One of his hands comes up to hold onto your waist, to push you firmly back onto Taehyung’s lap and closer into Jungkook’s mouth. You can feel Taehyung’s budding erection poking against your thigh and it’s enough to make you flustered once more.
In an attempt to help Taehyung, you find yourself grinding not only into Jungkook’s mouth but onto Taehyung’s lap, earning a growl into your neck. Taehyung’s free hand comes up to your chin which he grabs roughly. He forces you to look at him and then he’s smashing his lips onto yours in a heated fashion for an entirely ungraceful kiss. It’s needy and hot, completely open mouthed as your tongues mingle in the air and as Taehyung sucks on your lower lip. Yet you tear your gaze from Taehyung to look down at Jungkook as he buries himself further into your pussy, his nose nuzzling against your clit. You’re dripping by now and you can see your own juices smear onto his lips, dribble down to his chin, and it’s the hottest thing you could ever imagine seeing. He doesn’t seem to care as it spills down his neck and suddenly the mere sight has you squirming again. You part from Taehyung’s mouth with a wet pop that rings in your ears and moan.
“Fuck━ nghn, I━I━ think I’m close,” You whimper.
“Fuuck, yes,” Jungkook growls against you.
“Let it go, baby,” Taehyung hums, nibbling at your ear. “Cum for him, for us.”
Jungkook’s pace quickens, pumping his finger faster in you and sucking at your clit until you have no more strength to hold off. Your hands fumble in his hair, trying desperately to pull him closer, and you hate how badly you want your sweet release already. It doesn’t help when Taehyung twists your body ever so slightly so that he can lean down to your breasts and catch one of your nipples between his teeth. His tongue swishes back and forth against the perked bud and you whimper again, the coil in your stomach tightening and loosening.
You’re so close now and Jungkook can hear it, can feel it, can taste it. You don’t have much longer after that before your orgasm is hitting you hard.
“I’m gonna━” You reach out to grasp at Jungkook’s hair, tugging at the roots. “Fuck, Jungkook━”
You cry out suddenly, the coil in your stomach springing apart. Jungkook moans into your pussy as you cum, pulsating around his tongue and finger and dripping into his mouth. You’re reduced to nothing but a whimpering, writhing mess against Taehyung as you buck back and forth into Jungkook’s mouth to ride out your high. Taehyung pulls apart from you to rub circles into your hips and the seemingly gentle move somehow soothes the intense wave of pleasure into something much sweeter. Fire burns at your core and flicks outward until your whole body is warm and numb and then you collapse against Taehyung’s chest, panting hard. Jungkook drinks up every last bit of you and you begin to cringe at the oversensitivity before you gain some of your wits again. You push his head away hastily and this time he relents.
“Did all your little happy wet dreams finally come true, Jeon?” You snicker languidly.
The boy sits back on his knees and looks up at you, locking gazes with yours. You can finally see his face, his tousled black hair, his swollen red lips, and chin, all of which are covered in your perfect sheen. He licks at his lips and wipes at his chin and neck where his tongue can’t reach and he does all of this without breaking eye contact with you. A small smirk forms on his face and suddenly you’re filled with an intense need for payback.
“Yeah, you act confident now but you seemed to enjoy it when you were riding my face,” Jungkook says. You roll your eyes, about to reply before he adds, “So, you’re welcome.”
“You’re impossible,” You huff, pushing yourself off of Taehyung’s lap.
“Where do you think you’re going, baby?” Taehyung mewls behind you. “We still need you.”
“Oh, I know,” You quip. You reach down to grab onto Jungkook’s chin, forcing him to look up at you. “But it’s my turn, don’t you think, Tae?”
Taehyung chuckles and nods in agreement. Jungkook, however, hardly looks bothered, though he seems a little taken aback by your sudden assertiveness when you begin pulling him up to his feet before pushing him back onto the bed. Taehyung scoots over so that the three of you can fit comfortably on his bed and then you’re moving, crawling over to Jungkook on your hands and knees.
“Are you trying to intimidate me?” Jungkook asks. “Because this is sexier than it is scary.”
You’re hovering over his crotch when he speaks, your greedy hands reaching forward to brush against his hard dick straining in his jeans. He nearly jolts in his seat at the sudden touch and you and Taehyung giggle again.
“Mmm, baby, teach him a lesson,” Taehyung hums. “Suck him off nice and slow but don’t let him cum.”
“Not unless he begs for it,” You say wickedly.
Taehyung stifles a chuckle. “I told you she’s feisty, Jungkookie.”
The younger boy is eyeing you carefully as you busy yourself by undoing the belt buckle on his jeans. He acts unimpressed, unfazed, as you unbutton his jeans and began sliding them off his legs, but you can see the needy and impatient glint in his eyes. Your eyes fall immediately to the ever present straining bulge in his boxers and you gulp in response, licking your lips. You can’t help yourself when you reach out to brush your fingers faintly along his length. He jolts in his seat and grits his teeth, shooting you a hard glare.
“Are you seriously going to tease me?” Jungkook grumbles. “We can skip all of that, y’know━”
“It’s payback, Jeon,” You hum, running your fingers down his dick and then back up again. “Where’s the fun in it if I skip all of the teasing?”
“You know,” Taehyung murmurs from beside you. He’s reclining back, watching you with intense eyes and is completely shameless about his prominent erection contained by his boxers. “I’m surprised the idiot hasn’t referred to his dick yet as Jungcock.”
You giggle, an all too innocent and sweet sound for the way you’re palming at Jungkook’s dick. Jungkook, who is apparently having a rather difficult time keeping up with his surroundings while your fingers continue to work against him, scoffs. His eyebrows knit together as he throws a beady glare at the older boy.
“You’re ruining the mood,” he grunts.
Taehyung clicks his tongue against his teeth, a smirk tugging at his luscious lips. “Of course. I digress.”
You turn your attention back to Jungkook who’s staring down at your hand with parted lips and a crease in his brows. Without warning, you grasp him through his boxers and he groans suddenly, bucking forward. The desperation of his situation only seems to increase in severity when you peel back the elastic band of his boxers and slide them off his legs, finally freeing his dick which springs out from it’s confines. He’s much bigger than you expected, his tip angry and red, leaking with pearly beads that dribble down his length and the bulging veins that line it.
“You’re staring again,” Jungkook hums when he notices you pause, your eyes wide. “Sure you don’t like what you see?”
You shake yourself from your daze and frown. “Shut up.”
The boy starts to chuckle at your flustered expression but yelps when you clasp your fingers around the base of his cock. A beautiful moan falls from his lips and excites you even more. You start pumping him slowly, guiding your hands up and down his length in careful and measured motions, wiping your thumb across his tip each time you reach it. Jungkook shudders in your touch, his teeth coming down to gnaw hard on his lower lip. His eyes are glued to your hands working against him, his face scrunching up in pure euphoria.
“Mmm, fuck,” he grunts, his head lolling back. “Stop teasing me and go faster.”
You don’t listen. If anything, you slow your pace and it has him so frustrated that he lets an involuntary whimper escape him. He bucks into your clenched hand, practically begging for more but remains quiet, safe for his heavy panting.
“You heard her, Kook,” Taehyung says. “Beg for her.”
“There’s no way I’m begging,” Jungkook hisses through gritted teeth. “Never. I never have and never will.”
“Bullshit,” You scoff. You fondle at his balls with your other hand and he moans again. Your hand comes to a complete halt all of a sudden, interrupting Jungkook as he is about to speak. Before he can protest, you lean down and lick at his tip, swirling your tongue around him once to taste his saltiness. His hips rut forward into you but you pull back almost immediately and find Jungkook gaping. You meet his desperate eyes for a steady gaze. “Beg. Just once, Jungkookie.”
Jungkook’s stare wavers as you run your fingers along his tip, squeezing slightly. He tries to compose himself, to remain calm, but when you are relentless, he caves very easily. He only gives in when you kiss the base of his cock. And those eyes ━ fuck, the way your eyes turn so wide and already look so fucked out. How could he resist you?
“Fuck, fuck, okay,” he gasps. “I need more, baby, please. Ah, please━ You feel so fucking good.”
His needy pleas satisfy you and your lips curl into a devious grin. You lower yourself on him suddenly, licking a clean stripe up his length and he moans loudly. You enclose your mouth around his tip and suck, earning a small growl from him as he pushes his hips forward for more. In the next second, you sink your mouth down his length, taking as much of him as you can.
“Fuck!” he moans abruptly. “Ahh, shit, that feels amazing, baby.”
You hollow out your cheeks as you pull your head up and then back down, starting at an even pace that has him moaning and writhing beneath you. He feels much bigger in your mouth but you don’t mind even when he bucks himself into you unexpectedly and hits the back of your throat. The action makes you gag around him and, in return, he curses at the way it feels.
“K-Keep doing that,” he mumbles. “Please, fuck, just like that.”
His fingers thread in your hair and he pulls you down greedily on him but you don’t refuse.
“Can you do it, baby girl?” Taehyung questions. His hand finds his way on your back where he rubs gentle circles into your skin. “Can you take all of him in your mouth?”
You nod carefully around Jungkook’s hardened length.
“Good girl,” Taehyung smirks. “Go slow.”
You follow his orders, sinking gradually onto Jungkook until you feel the tip of him hitting the back of your throat. You gag once more but, instead of pulling back, you shut your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose. In, out, in, out, and then you swallow. Jungkook’s reaction is sudden and intense. He bucks into your mouth unwillingly and moans even louder, his fingers clutching at your roots.
“That’s it, baby,” Taehyung hums and his sudden presence is comforting.
“A-Again,” Jungkook stammers. “Again, please━ holy shit, you feel amazing.”
You swallow again and then a third and each time you can feel yourself sinking lower onto him. Tears prickle at your eyes as your nose is suddenly pressed against his lower abdomen but his reactions are well worth it and so you continue.
“You’re doing so well, baby,” Taehyung says, planting a chaste kiss against your shoulder. “You deserve some more attention, hm?”
His fingers slowly rub circles down your back, his lips following your arch and has you shivering beneath him, before stopping at the dip just above your ass. He’s kneeling behind you now, his fingers massaging into your thighs. You sigh against Jungkook when you feel Taehyung’s fingers continue their trek to your ass, rubbing you carefully. You, in response, push your hips back, waiting for more.
“You’re still so wet, baby,” Taehyung says. “I bet you’d come with one touch of my finger.”
With Jungkook buried hilt deep inside your mouth, you’re hardly prepared for when Taehyung slips his fingers underneath to your folds. It’s embarrassing to admit how right he is. You react instantly, moaning around Jungkook and jutting your hips back for more. The simple vibration has Jungkook groaning, his hips bucking forward. You hadn’t even been aware of just how wet you are before Taehyung pointed it out but then you can feel it, pulsing out of you and dripping down the top of your inner thighs.
“But you need more, don’t you?” Taehyung asks. “How about my cock? Will you let me fuck you, baby girl?”
You nod eagerly, the simple question exciting you even more. Taehyung chuckles and leans down to press a kiss to the arch of your back.
“But you’ll have to be good and keep pleasuring Jungkook too, okay?” Taehyung says.
You hum in response and swallow around Jungkook as if to tell both boys that you have no plans on stopping. Jungkook twitches inside you and scrunches his eyes shut.
“Fuck, Taehyung,” he grumbles. “Hurry up. Any time you touch her, she swallows. It feels so good.”
Taehyung snickers but he takes his time. He runs his fingers up and down your folds until you’re moaning needily against Jungkook. You look over your shoulder to see Taehyung’s fingers wrapped around his own hardened and pulsating erection, pumping himself a few times as he stares at you carefully. He positions himself behind you and takes the chance to run his tip and length along your folds. You whimper suddenly, hoping your desperate noises will spur him on.
“You want more, baby?” Taehyung asks.
You hum again, your voice muffled and hoarse.
“Okay,” he sighs. “Only because you’ve been so good.”
You have no time to brace yourself from the sudden impact of feelings. He doesn’t do much except for push himself into you, past your folds. It’s only just the tip and yet your heart jolts in your chest, the coil in your stomach tightens. It feels so good to finally have something of larger girth in you that you gap, simultaneously sinking down further onto Jungkook. The two boys grunt above you, both of them panting hard.
“You feel so good, baby,” Taehyung mumbles. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
He leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder, his other hand coming up to rest on the dip of your lower back to guide you. He slowly, so very slowly, pushes himself into you, inch by inch, so you can feel the way he stretches you open, feel the way he buries into you. Your leaking arousal only proves to be of an advantage, letting him easily push into you without any trouble. Your fingers grip the bed sheets beneath you in an ironclad grip and you squeak when he’s finally buried hilt deep within you. You nearly gag around Jungkook again, who’s still panting and writhing above you, but the way Taehyung’s tongue marks patterns into your shoulder comforts you. You whine against Jungkook, pushing your hips back for more and the simplicity of your action has Taehyung’s breath hitching in his throat.
“So warm,” he grunts and then sighs against your back. “You always feel so amazing.”
He still hasn’t moved and you’re beginning to grow impatient, distraught over the feeling of him rock hard inside you but unmoving. You debate pulling apart from Jungkook to yell at Taehyung but you assume he can understand your haste judging by the way your body writhes beneath him, your fingers clench into fists. He pulls out in one languid movement, his breath stuttering, until only his tip is left before he pushes himself back in, equally as slow. He sets at a steady, easy pace that, at the very least, lets you grasp onto some sensible thoughts and pushes you to keep pleasing Jungkook. Jungkook can’t take it anymore; he starts rutting his hips up into your mouth with gritted teeth. It’s a hot, erotic mess of mingled moans and groans but you never want it to stop ━ in fact, you want more.
“You like that, baby?” Taehyung grunts.
You nod hurriedly, humming in response.
“Ah, fuck━” Taehyung groans. “Want it harder?”
You nod once more, this time eagerly. When Taehyung pulls back one more time, he slams himself back into you without any warning and you jerk forward, sinking down onto Jungkook. The younger boy moans, his head lolling back as his fingers twisting in your hair. You don’t expect Taehyung to do the same thing again, pull out slowly and then push himself back in with more force, but he does, and he repeats the action again and again until he abandons it for a whole new pace. Soon, he’s thrusting into you hard and fast but always making sure his hips reconnect with yours before pulling out so you can feel him practically in your throat.
“Like being fucked like this?” Taehyung asks. “You like being used like a little slut?”
His thrusts are relentless suddenly, jerking your body and back and forth until he’s fucking you in a way that has you sucking off Jungkook just right so that you hardly have to put in any effort. Although his hard thrusts feel amazing, each time you’re pushed forward, you sink further down onto Jungkook unwillingly and that, paired with the way Jungkook frantically fucks himself into your mouth, you nearly gag each time as he hits the back of your throat, drool pooling at your lips and dribbling down your chin. Tears prick at your eyes from the feeling and it’s too pleasing to quit, to pull away from Jungkook just yet. Jungkook’s staring down at you when he notices your scrunched up face. You’re surprised when his hand finds your cheek, his thumb brushing reassuringly into your cheekbone.
“You’re doing so━ ah, fuck━ so well, baby,” he rasps.
You can taste the saltiness of precum on the tip of your tongue and you wonder how close he is. You have no qualms in finishing him off then and there but soon the pleasure you’re receiving from Taehyung becomes too much. Soon, he’s hitting you at an angle that shakes something in you. You pull apart from Jungkook with a loud pop, saliva and cum coating his length and your lips, and a gasp wretches from your throat.
“Fuck!” You cry hoarsely. “Ah, T-Taehyung!”
You’re too weak to push yourself up and end up burying your head in Jungkook’s lower abdomen, feeling the heat consume you. You’re near numb, senseless, as you let Taehyung ravish your body, fuck you hard into the mattress and Jungkook. It’s a frantic build up, an intense wave of emotions that you seem to pass through, and you can hardly bring yourself to react. All you can hear is the sound of moaning and skin against skin and the heat seems to make its way up to your head, making you warm and fuzzy. Jungkook gently pulls at your face, lifting you up and bringing you to him so that he can smash his lips onto yours and all you can taste is bitter liquor, you, and him, but that doesn’t stop him from sucking on your lower lip even when you pull apart to moan and gasp.
“T-Tae,” You sob. “Fuck, Tae, I━I’m c━close━”
“Cum for me, baby girl,” he murmurs. “Let me hear you.”
You shake your head frantically at the sensitive sting between your legs still raw from your orgasm from Jungkook, shutting your eyes. Taehyung’s hands find their way onto your hips and he pulls you down his length until you’re balls deep and pauses. He lifts your hips and you can feel him twitch inside you that it even makes your own thighs tremble and shake. You’re sure you’ll collapse on him if he doesn’t hold onto you and he must realize this too because he grips your hips tight to continue thrusting into you. Soon you’re tumbling towards your high. Taehyung’s pumps are frantic, growing sloppy with each passing second, as he pushes you to yours and his high. The coil snaps in your stomach again and you’re in a moment of freefall where you’re stunned by the wave of pleasure. Then, Taehyung is bringing you back down to reality with his hard thrusts, the way he moans, and the lewd wet sounds of him pumping himself into you.
“Ah, T-Tae━” You whimper. “So good, fuck━”
His name falls from your lips in a repeated mantra. You crumble beneath him, collapsing entirely against Jungkook, who’s brushing your hair away from your face. You’re shaking with each touch, your walls pulsing around Taehyung and clenching hard. He moans and curses behind you and you know he must be close to his high because he, too, is fumbling for it. His thrusts are even more hasty and soon he’s reaching his climax. His moans increase in volume and his thrusts become sloppier until he finally pulls his cock from your walls and nearly collapses against your back.
With his hand clenched tightly around his shaft, he jerks himself off until he’s releasing onto your back in white hot spurts. He’s panting hard, sweat coating his forehead, but he takes the time to press chaste kisses along your back and shoulders as the two of you attempt to calm your shrill hearts. It’s silent in the room for a moment despite your panting breaths. Taehyung takes a moment to grab his discarded shirt and wipe at the mess he’s made before he collapses next to you at long last with a huff of air. You moan wearily, rolling off of Jungkook to lay on your back between the two.
“God, you’re amazing,” Taehyung sighs.
You giggle up at the boy and lean towards him to kiss. His fingers rake in your hair and a few silent seconds pass before you’re nearly back to an even breathing pace. That’s when you notice Jungkook, his hand gripped tightly around his still painfully hard dick.
“Jungkook,” You pur his name, catching his attention. “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like?” he quips.
“It’s your turn,” Taehyung points out. Jungkook glances at Taehyung and then down at you, quirking an eyebrow.
“W-Well, I just thought━” Jungkook stammers. “I just thought you’ve had enough. It’s okay, you don’t have to.”
“I call bullshit again,” You scoff.
“Baby girl,” Taehyung hums, “do you want Jungkookie to fuck you?”
You nod eagerly but Jungkook doesn’t seem too convinced, or maybe he’s hesitant. Taehyung’s eyeing him closely, curiously, before he gaps. He bursts out into a fit of chuckles, earning both yours and Jungkook’s attention.
“Shit, of course,” Taehyung grins. “He’s probably gonna let go the minute he’s in you. You’re close, hm?”
“Only because she’s already been down on me,” Jungkook grumbles.
“You know that’s not it,” Taehyung replies. “You’ve been wanting this forever.”
Jungkook’s eyes suddenly darken as he glares at the older boy. “Taehyung.”
“Wait, what?” You ask, turning to gawk at both.
“Jungkook has a little crush on you,” Taehyung smirks. “This is all he’s ever wanted. I bet he’ll bust a nut the second he fucks you and he’s embarrassed.”
You gasp as you turn to face Jungkook who looks entirely disgruntled but you’re more shocked about the fact that Jungkook likes you than anything else. Jungkook, notoriously arrogant fuckboy, who’s seemingly made it his mission to give you a headache every waking moment by trying to flirt with you. And maybe you’ve always sort of known it; maybe you’ve always sort of felt the same.
“That’s not true!” Jungkook protests. “I━I━ Well, Tae hardly finishes when he’s with another girl. He’s jacked off to the thought of you before, too━”
Taehyung starts. “Fuck off━”
You’re stuck between the bickering boys, staring up at both of them with a dumbfounded expression. Before either boy can strangle the other, you’re speaking up and interrupting them.
“I don’t mind,” You say. “I’m just… surprised.”
Both boys are silent now, aggravated probably, and you giggle. You reach up to rake your fingers in Taehyung’s hair and then look up at Jungkook, using your other hand to grab onto his chin once more and force him to face you.
“Come here, you idiot,” You drawl. “I want you to fuck me. Wanna feel your dick.”
Jungkook seems taken aback but then his eyes are sweeping down your body and he writhes in his seat. Before he can protest, you’re pulling him down onto you to kiss. It’s passionate and rough but hot altogether as your lips smack against one anothers. Jungkook’s desperate situation seems to hit him again, especially when you snake one of your hands down to his length and wrap your fingers around him to jerk him off. He pulls apart from you, gulping.
“Fuck, okay, okay,” he gasps. “I need to be in you right now, please.”
You and Taehyung smirk as Jungkook shifts around on the bed to kneel between your legs. He pauses, glancing up at you once more and noting the way you bite your lower lip seductively, before finally pushing himself in. He goes slow, but not as gradual as Taehyung. You can still feel him stretching you open and he groans. He seems to slide the rest of the way in with a lewd squelch sound because of just how wet you are and then he’s buried balls deep, fitting so snug within you.
“Holy shit,” he whines. “You weren’t kidding, Tae. She feels amazing.”
Taehyung hums in agreement. “What does she feel like? Let her know, Kookie.”
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut momentarily to focus. “Wet,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “Warm, tight ━ fuck, so tight.”
He marvels at the feeling, wonders how you can still clench so tightly around him despite being stretched wide by Taehyung. He bows his head to rest in the crook of your neck and moans. His words are enough to spur on your own reaction and you whimper against him.
“Oh, fuck, Jungkook━”
The sensitivity you feel in your core met with his hard cock makes you cringe but simultaneously pleases you and you’re bucking your hips for more. He groans at the feeling, his hands flying down to grip your hips. He’s big, stretching you wide, but you feel anything but pain except for the sharp burning sensation as the intensity of your past orgasms start to hit you. He rolls his hips back and then thrusts into you so hard that you yelp and jerk back on the bed.
“Go easy on her, Jungkook,” Taehyung admonishes. “She’s not a doll.”
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook sighs, nipping at your throat. “You just feel so good, Y/N.”
“I’m okay,” You reassure. You feel his length twitch within you and your head lolls back. “Fuck, I feel more than okay.”
“Can we try something?” Taehyung asks.
He receives two weak nods in response. Jungkook pauses, shifts the two of you until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips, his dick never once slipping from your core. The older boy grabs onto you and yanks you onto his hips.
“What do you say we give Y/N the pleasure she deserves?” he asks. He pushes his length past your folds and is rewarded by the sound of your moans as your jaw unhinges. “Think you can handle both of us, baby?”
“Fuck, yes,” You gasp.
Jungkook seems just as enticed by this. He’s careful as he pushes his cock into you and your reaction is explosive. With Taehyung already stretching you wide, you wonder how Jungkook will fit but it’s snug and perfect. You can feel him stretching you further, inch by glorious inch, and he hasn’t even begun moving when your walls clench around the two of them. Taehyung hisses in your ear and Jungkook pauses at once, sputtering for air, giving you time to adjust. When Jungkook pushes himself further into your cunt, rubbing against Taehyung’s cock and your own walls, you can’t help the delicious moan that falls from your lips.
“Oh my god,” You whimper. “Fuck, fuck, that feels so fucking good━”
It’s such a sticky, hot mess, and all you can hear is the sound of guttural moans and grunts. You jut your hips forward, a silent plea for something more. Jungkook’s hand grasps at your ass and then he’s pulling out. He growls suddenly, thrusting his hips forward and the sensation suddenly overwhelms you. As he picks up a pace that leaves you breathless, Taehyung slowly thrusts into you and the pleasure becomes too much. Your hands reach out to grab at anything, fingers digging eagerly into Jungkook’s chest, Taehyung’s sides.
“Oh, fuck,” Jungkook grunts. His face is scrunched in pleasure and concentration, his mouth hanging open.
“You’re doing so well, baby,” Taehyung growls. “You like being stretched wide like this, huh? Such a good girl too. Fuck━”
He’s sweating, but so are you, and all you can hear is the sound of yours and the boys’ moans, the vulgar wet slap with each thrust Jungkook makes. It’s only amplified with each small leisurely thrust Taehyung makes into your throbbing pussy, his dick rubbing against Jungkook’s with each thrust. Your walls tighten around Jungkook and Taehyung as the seconds pass and you know you’re already close to your third orgasm of the night but you try to hold off despite the room spinning. All you can do is lay there for Jungkook to ravish and control, for Taehyung to enjoy, too caught up in the moment. Your breasts bounce wildly with each thrust Jungkook makes and his gaze seems fixated on your chest before flickering down to watch himself disappear inside you each time. Taehyung is raking his fingers through your hair, soothing you through your next climax and it’s close.
“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses, panting hard. “I’m not gonna last.”
You push your hips forward as if to probe him on and he growls.
“No, shit, let me enjoy this, baby,” he whines. “Ah, so tight━”
He’s grumbling to himself, cursing under his breath and you smirk tiredly. Jungkook leans his head down to kiss at your chest, catching one of your nipples in his warm mouth. His tongue swishes back and forth over the perked bud and your chest arches into his face. Your fingers are clutching tight at his hair even as he obeys and adds more force with each thrust, slowly picking up his pace. His mouth widens and he sinks lower on your breast, humming against you in pleasure. Taehyung’s own pace quickens. It’s not as relentless as Jungkook’s but he makes sure to help aid you to your high, ramming his hips into yours until both their cocks slip into a seamless pattern. All you can focus on is the crude wetness, the way their dicks threaten to slip from your hold at how sloppy and wrecked your cunt becomes.
“Ah, yes,” You hiss. “Fuck, yes, yes━ So good, oh my god━ Right there━”
Your voice is cut off by a loud moan. You feel the familiar wave hit you once more and this time you hardly have any strength to fight it off or welcome it.
“I can’t━” You wail suddenly. “Fuck, I can’t━ I’m gonna cum━”
You’re fumbling for words to warn him that you’re close before you’re cuming around them. Their names wrench from your throat in no discernible pattern, accompanied by vulgar curses. Your body writhes between the two boys, your chest arching into his mouth, your legs tightening around Jungkook’s waist.
“You’re doing so well, baby,” Jungkook coos. “Come on, wanna feel you cream all over us━”
Stars form behind your eyelids and explode into galaxies as they swirl down your spine and to the tip of your toes, making them and your fingers curl in delight. Your vision grows blurry and tears stream down your face at the build up of pressure finally being released for the third time and you can’t help it when your mantra turns into delighted sobs and whimpers. You’re clenched so tight that Jungkook feels as if he hardly has any space to move and the confinement of his length has him gasping. He pulls apart from your breast to watch your scrunched up face with hooded eyes. He moans again, and desperately leans down to suck at your jawline.
You’re too spent to keep up with him or Taehyung as he helps you further to your high but you know Jungkook is close when his thrusts become messy, quick spurts. You gasp each time he thrusts up into you until he’s finally cuming.
“Shit,” he hisses. “Gonna cum━ Gonna let us fill you up, baby?”
“Please, please, wanna feel it,” You mewl.
He slams his hips into yours and stills for a moment as he releases into you in one hot wave and emits a beautiful moan of your name. You’re panting hard even as he rides out both your highs with a few more incredibly sloppy pumps before he finally collapses against your chest. The two of you are struggling to catch your breaths, your heart beating in your ears.
The room is silent, blissful, and it takes you a few moments of basking in it before you’ve regained your breath. Your fingers rake in Jungkook’s soft and sweaty hair and you hum in content. His mouth presses a few open mouthed and hot kisses along your neck and jawline before connecting with your own mouth. This time, the kiss is chaste and you smile against his lips before he’s pulling out of you. You moan at the missing feeling of his warmth and the way his own cum leaks from your core, down Taehyung’s cock, and your own thighs.
But Taehyung isn’t done. He thrusts up into you to ride out his own high, pushing Jungkook’s release back into you. His pace is steady, deep, and all you can both do is moan and gasp for air.
“Fuck, Tae,” You rasp tiredly. “Cum for me, baby.”
The boy gasps for air, nearly fumbling behind you to reach his high. “Gonna make this pussy mine. Fuuck━”
When Taehyung finally reaches his own high, it’s in another sticky stream of hot cum, each fluid mingling with the other in a pitiful mess. He pulls his slackened length from you and you whimper at sudden the loss, core and legs aching. As you slide onto the bed between the two tired and breathless boys, Jungkook wipes at your glistening core with a shirt and you sigh in content.
“Why haven’t we done that before?” You gasp, earning a chuckle from both. Jungkook lets out a boisterous laugh and you flick his arm. “If you say anything dumb, we’re never having a round two.”
“Round two?” he asks, wriggling his brows. “You want this to happen again?”
You nod, though you can already start to feel yourself succumb to sleep as it creeps upon you. “What do you think, Tae?”
“I think,” The older boy hums, “that’s your best idea yet.”
Jungkook seems surprised, excited even, and you smile sleepily. Taehyung throws his arm over your waist and pulls your back to his chest, wrapping you in his arms as he slips off to sleep.
Before you fall asleep that night, you snake your arm up Jungkook’s chest and let your hand rest against his beating heart which you can still feel beating shrilly even long after your messy night together.
You awake to the familiar sound of your alarm.
It’s loud, annoying, and jolts you awake only to toss you into a haze of muddled confusion and an incredibly terrible hangover. Your head throbs and your body aches. Sunlight splashes in from the closed blinds and illuminates your face, making you squint.
“Turn that off, Jesus Christ, Y/N,” Taehyung snaps, his voice muffled and aggravated.
Your mind is too groggy to realize he’s sleeping next to you, too groggy to suddenly remember what happened the night before. Until, of course, you feel your limbs tangled with not only Taehyung’s but another’s. When you crane your neck to look, you see Jeon Jungkook splayed out beside you sleeping peacefully and you gasp.
The events of the night before suddenly flood your mind and everything is hazy up until your wild time with the two boys. Your muddled sober mind alerts your heart and suddenly it’s beating hard and fast in your chest as you register the situation. You’re used to waking up with a naked Taehyung by your side but never were you used to waking up next to a naked Taehyung and Jungkook.
Jungkook stirs in his sleep then and you curse silently, diving for your phone on the floor before realizing your drastic mistake. Your core is still tender and your legs feel so delicate, nearly caving in beneath you as you wobble precariously. Somehow, you manage to grab your phone and tap the snooze button hastily. Taehyung’s still half asleep on his side but Jungkook lays on his back and you’re surprised to see him looking up at you with a quirked eyebrow and a tiny smirk.
“Don’t you dare say anything,” You hiss. “Holy shit, that wasn’t a dream?”
You gnaw on your lower lip and reach down blindly to grab the nearest article of clothing on the floor (one of Taehyung’s shirts) to toss over your bare body. To soothe your aching muscles, you resort to kneeling on the edge of the bed.
“It wasn’t,” Taehyung murmurs.
“Nice to know you think our dicks are dream worthy though,” Jungkook snorts. “So when’s our round two?”
Your promise from the night before dawns on you all too suddenly and, though you feign your usual annoyance for both boys, the potential prospect of another night with the two of them thrills you to no end.
“I━ I━” You stammer.
“Come back here, baby,” Taehyung muses. “It’s too early to be up right now. You can sleep a bit longer before you pretend you hate the both of us.”
Your eyes flicker down to your phone to check the time: 6 a.m. You can barely walk, let alone function this early in the morning, even without the added stress of your hangover, and sleep seems far too appealing to ignore. Maybe you can stay for a few more hours…
“Fine,” You grumble. You crawl back between them and wiggle around until you’re laying back on the bed. “But you’re making me that cup of coffee when I wake up, Taehyung.”
“Anything else, princess?” Taehyung grins.
“Maybe run me a bath too,” You wince as you settle back against the bed. “Everything hurts.”
“Will do,” Jungkook says. “Gotta do the most to make sure we get that second round. Now, come here━”
The boys snicker and, soon, the three of you have slipped back into a peaceful slumber.
You know that when you wake you’ll profusely deny that the night before and the morning after had ever happened; that you’ll never again find yourself in either Jungkook’s or Taehyung’s bed, much less with the both of them at the same time ━ but you find that you never really listen much to rules anyway.
⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.
⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!
#btsbookclub#bangtanhq#btsguild#jungkook smut#taehyung smut#jungkook#taehyung#bts smut#btscreatorscorner#jungkook x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook x you#taehyung x you#jungkook x y/n#taehyung x y/n#bts#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#taehyung scenarios#jungkook imagine#jeongguk smut#jeon jeongguk smut#kim taehyung smut#jeon jungkook smut#bangtan smut#bangtan#bts fanfic#bts oneshots
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Why do I keep on obsessing over the past? Idk if this is an Si grip but somehow I can’t get my mind past an issue. Like it just keeps on circling my head. I can’t stop thinking about how my friend had wronged me. I know I could do stuff like don’t think of her, ignore her, etc. but my mind won’t let me rest. Like cuz she said something which hurt me, and then I ended up doubting myself and bouncing back between being her friend and not being her friend, and now I feel like it’s my fault. Cuz I mean it seems like the rest of my friends don’t really care too much that it hurt me. Some understand the meaning behind the word, but don’t care that they are still friends with her, but like idk I can’t really be friends with someone like that. But idk what to do cuz I’m feeling like it’s my fault and all of my friends are friends with her. I’d say this is an Si grip, but I still use Ne when it comes to connecting ideas, coming up with ideas, etc. but I don’t think I use Te or Fe as a dominant function and there’s no way I’m an introvert. Cuz I’m normally the type to not think of the past, but my mind can’t stop bothering about this issue. It doesn’t help how I see her daily since we share a club and I see her in the mornings. Like I think I’d move one and then I see her and I’m back to square one. I feel like I’ve been more withdrawn lately and more low energy, not interacting as much as I used to, but I still also display Ne behaviors, as least more through my mind and with my speech.
There are several ways to interpret what you wrote.
One is that because you (I assume) have not addressed the issue directly with her ("You hurt my feelings when you said this..."), that you are stuck in limbo and cannot move forward, because you still have to see her all the time, without having healed from your pain. Being hurt emotionally, especially if you are unable to address the problem directly and find closure, takes a long time to "fix." Emotional hangups are also very serious and complex things. Sometimes, we are not just insulted by what someone said to us, but feeling grief that they aren't the person we thought they were, or that they don't fit the ideal we built up in our head. Are you allowing yourself time to grieve for this relationship or do you feel like you should hurry up and move past it for some reason?
If the latter, why are you in such a hurry to stop thinking about her? Because it's painful? Because you are going to have to face some things you didn't want to? Because it might mean you have to go to her directly and talk about it?
I know for me, being a 6w7, I don't want to feel things. I don't want to dwell on sad things. So when I can't move past someone (and I have spent two years trying to detach from someone and stop thinking about them), it's often because I am refusing to deal with and face up to and "own" my part in the problem. I am refusing to stop beating myself up and just allow myself to feel a certain way ("I don't want this friendship anymore" isn't good enough for a 6, who wants solid REASONS and LOGIC for everything). I am also not wanting to sit and deal with the pain of realizing this person isn't who I thought they were, and we aren't going to have the future together that I had in my mind -- in short, I have been idealizing them with 7 and now have to unpick all the delusional thinking that went into me staying friends with them past the relationship's expiration date. Once I realized why I kept thinking about her, it helped me. I started thinking about her less. Moving on more. Instead of getting mad about her popping into my mind, I could think "yeah, old friends come to mind sometimes, but that's normal."
The thing is, you won't be able to move past this until you deal with it. And to deal with it, you have to figure out why you keep thinking about it and refusing to let it go. And then you have to decide what action you need to take, to deal with it. Do you need to stop being afraid of conflict and tell the person to their face that they hurt you? Do you need to talk about what happened with someone you trust? Could the act of talking about it, and getting your feelings "out" help you realize you don't need to hold onto that feeling anymore? If you had the chance to talk to her about it, would you take it? If she asked to be friends again, would you want that? It sounds like the answer is no, so you are choosing to keep thinking about her. No one chooses to do anything that doesn't gratify them on some level, so why are you hanging onto this? Is it because it's enjoyable for you to feel angry or upset? Are you using thinking about it as a way to avoid the risk of opening yourself up to finding new relationships?
What could you DO to make this go away? Quit the club? Move on to a new hobby or interest? Forgive her? And choose to forgive her each time you see her, for as long as it takes, until you feel "nothing" when you see her? That's harder than quitting a club.
What do you want to do? Why do you think this is happening? What are you not facing in this situation? And how can you move past it?
Above all, I would dial back the self-recrimination and blame, and start allowing your feelings to have weight. You are allowed to feel upset. You are allowed to not like her anymore. You are allowed to have hurt feelings. You are allowed to wish your friends weren't friends with her (but they are allowed to make their own choices). You are allowed to grieve for a friendship. You are allowed to not get over it immediately. But if it's genuinely bothering you, do something about it. This isn't just a Si grip, it's an emotional experience, so treat yourself gently, like you would a loved one who was struggling with this. I promise you, one day you will wake up and not care anymore -- not in an apathetic way, but in a healed way. But healing takes time.
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
angst to fluff where y/n finds out she was originally just supposed to be a rebound type thing after he broke up with someone like idk something like he broke up with someone on the european leg of tour and she was supposed just be with him until he went on another leg but then he started to love her and brings her on the rest of tour with him and she finds out abt the rebound thing after the last show of tour where everyones drunk and celebrating and one person lets it slip
I tweaked it just a bit...hope that's ok:)
WC: 3.5K
****
“You look beautiful.”
I skim my nose across Harry’s cheek, his chin resting on my shoulder, and hum against stubble that wasn’t there this morning. “You’ve said that five times tonight.”
“And?” He slips around to face me.
His suit is a deep maroon, probably black if you’re far away, probably purple if you’ve had too much champagne. His chest expands when I slide my hand down.
“Love this dress.” He takes my hand off and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my head.
“You two forget where you’re at?” Another foreign voice surrounds us, well, foreign to me.
“Fucker,” Harry says to the man. They pat each other’s backs as the guy walks away. “Tyler Johnson.”
“Oh.”
“He worked with me on the last album.”
“Okay.”
It’s like the fifteenth person that I’ve been introduced to tonight, all of whom pass by with quick hellos, inside jokes with Harry, and little interest in me. The fast paced world of the rich and famous doesn’t slow down, even for charity.
“Harry, so glad you could make it.” Another voice, another man. This one lingers, long enough to receive my name, and offer a cliche compliment about my patience to put up with this beautiful bastard on my arm.
I thank him with the smile I’ve learned to speak through. These celebrities never stop smiling. Never stop posing. Never stop.
Then he’s gone too, and Harry’s whispering yet another name in my ear, of which I’ll forget seconds later because these people ultimately mean nothing to me. They all seem to pass through each other’s lives whenever convenience allows, playing house and acting like grown ups who get the privilege of not truly growing up.
I feel like the Gucci dress Harry had tailored to my body doesn’t fit. My posture sucks. I’m too scared to eat any of the finger foods being carried on silver platters through the hall. I haven’t learned how to smile through food I don’t like or not make a mess or take small enough bites. I swear, not one glass of champagne has any lipstick on it. They’re like magic.
I look at Harry. He’s stepped away to converse with a face that I do know. He and Jeff speak animatedly, Harry’s arms gesturing to whatever story he’s telling. I step over to one of the dressed tables and place what little weight I can onto the chair, needing to cling to something. When I look back up I smile, the two of them now laughing, and probably a little too loud for this charity auction.
“Y/n...right?”
I whip around, a man I’ve seen in pictures on Harry’s phone holds out his hand.
I straighten my back and accept his greeting. “Yes.”
“Finally we meet!” He catches my confusion and chuckles. “I produced Harry’s last album.”
Something clicks in my head, and he’s suddenly more familiar. “Oh! I knew that.”
Tom Hull...Kid Harpoon I process just as he introduces his name.
“I—”
An arm slipping around my waist stunts my question, Harry tipping back a red drink with his free hand while the other squeezes my hip. “Just tell this one to leave you alone,” he jabs.
Tom rolls his eyes, patting the breast of his green suit to look for something, only to show off his middle finger.
“Can’t believe the two of you haven’t met,” Harry says.
“I know, I guess we just missed each other.” Tom nods to me. “Heard you went to quite a few shows.”
“As many as I could.”
An uneasy sting travels down my spine. I did go to many shows, practically following Harry around his entire tour...all on his dime. Lord knows the man can afford it, but I still felt weird about him dishing out thousands of dollars to add me to each plane ride.
“Well I’m happy to see you two kids together,” Tom jokes, patting Harry on his back. “I’ve told him he needs to date women who will fuck him up. That’s where the songs are.”
He saunters off like he did not just say that. No. Absolutely not.
My face burns and it hurts to turn my head, but I still manage to narrow my eyes at Harry.
“Do you want another drink?”
I wait. I give him more than enough seconds to explain what the hell that was. But he’s clueless—ignorant.
“No. I do not.”
***
I do not bother taking my heels off in the car. My plan is to storm into our hotel room the second we park. Possibly locking Harry out...haven’t decided on that part yet.
The vague chit chat he makes with the driver stirs my nerves. It shouldn’t make me angry, and it’s not so much the act as it is his demeanor. He’s too cheery right now and it’s pissing me off.
“Okay,” he grabs my attention from Los Angeles flying past my window, the partition rolling up to leave us completely alone in the back seat. “What’s wrong?”
I bite my tongue, literally. “Nothing.”
“You seemed...irritated.”
“Did I?”
“Y/n.”
I turn to face him, inhaling sharply to calm my coming words. “Why are you with me?”
His face pales, and not a muscle moves. He just stares at me until he finally blinks and starts jerking his jaw around. “What are you talkin’ about?”
I roll my eyes. “The fact that you don’t know, bothers me even more.” I sigh, fighting back tears because I am determined not to cry in front of him. “Tom said that you should date people that fuck you up.”
“O—oh. That’s all?”
I squint, curling my lip. “What do you mean, that’s all? Is that not enough for you? Because that was a lot for me to hear tonight.”
“Baby, he was just messing around.”
I don’t budge.
“Really, it’s nothin’ to think about.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup my jaw. “Promise. It’s just like when people told you that you could do better than me, or insult me to compliment you.” He shrugs. “It’s just party talk.”
I process his words, supposing he’s not wrong. He did receive quite a few insults in lieu of my praise tonight. Maybe I was just on edge because of the setting; being surrounded by the rich and famous while I struggle to pay my rent each month isn’t exactly grounds for positive thinking.
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to apologize for.” He leans over to kiss me, stroking my face as his lips skim over mine. “Did I tell you how stunning you look tonight?”
***
It’s funny how your brain works. How emotions swoop in and corral your thoughts, like a salesman who pretends to care about you so they can get what they want. My mind was desperate for relief, from hearing Tom’s nervy comment, and I naively allowed Harry to take what he needed in that moment.
Something’s not quite right. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it.
I’ve been mulling over Harry’s words in my head all weekend, playing them on repeat, hoping they’ll start to make sense, but if anything their value keeps dropping. What worries me the most, is that I don’t know whether he’s trying to protect me or himself. I don’t know if one is any better than the other.
It’s golden hour when we pull up to the beach. I can hear the music before I even open the car door; a volleyball shoots up over the rows of bushes hiding the party, disappearing and popping back up a moment later.
I don’t really want to be here, but I also don’t want to be the girlfriend who won’t support their boyfriend.
“Ready?” Harry asks, and I nod.
The closer we walk, the clearer the music becomes. Harry’s voice takes over the private beach, and I wonder if they’re playing his entire album or just Golden on repeat.
A good bit of the people drinking and chatting I recognize form the event the other night, but there are still plenty of new faces. I take some fruity drink that was offered to me and down half of it before my feet hit sand.
And so the routine continues. I’m introduced to someone, they compliment me, laugh with Harry, congratulate him on pretty much everything he’s ever done, and then repeat with a new face. I do manage to find Sarah at one point after I’ve detached myself from Harry, and the two of us head for the water.
“Are you feeling okay?” Sarah asks once our toes are wet.
I hold my breath and count to five, finishing whatever the hell I’m drinking before I can answer her. “I’m great.”
“Harry said you weren’t doing too well after the auction?”
“Yes, Harry does a lot of talking with people when I’m not around.”
“Alright, spill it,” Sarah says.
I trace the rim of my glass, flicking my eyes over my shoulder to make sure we’re far away from the party. “It’s stupid, really, I’m just a little...I don’t know...Tom said something the other night that rubbed me the wrong way. And Harry doesn’t seem to care.”
“What did he say?”
“Just something about how Harry needs to have relationships with people who will fuck him up.”
“Ooh,” she nods, seemingly well versed in the statement. “Yeah that’s an Iggy Pop quote. Tom mentioned it in Rolling Stone when he was interviewed.” She sips her drink, eyes growing small over the rim. “It was just a cheap line of advice he gave Harry after he was torn up after his last breakup.”
“Wait, so he actually did say that before? Like before the other night?”
Sarah drifts her eyes up in thought, nodding. “Um hm. After him and Camille broke things off.” She shrugs, and gestures to the party exploding on the beach behind us. “Fine Line.”
I have no idea what I’m feeling. No clue what is coursing through my veins, but it’s not blood anymore. The corners of my jaw tingle until my face starts going numb, my breathing shallow and chest tight.
“You okay?”
“I uh, I gotta go.”
Sarah calls after me but I let my name die in the breeze as I march back to the crowd. It’s nearly dark now, and finding Harry among all his people will take forever. I try to look for him, but I’m so distraught I can’t concentrate long enough to make out faces. I give up and head back to his car, only to find it’s locked. The asphalt is warm on my legs as I lower down to the ground, careless to the dirt I’m getting on my clothes and the scratches on my skin.
I’m not in this position for long. Not long enough, at least. Harry rounds the corner of the bushes, speeding up when he sees me.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
He moves to sit down beside me, but I jump up before he can.
“You’re a fucking liar.”
“Whoa! What!? What’s gotten into you lately?”
“I told you! What Tom said the other night!” I’m yelling, too loud for public, I know. But a small part of me wants someone to hear. I want to disrupt the bubble Harry lives in.
“And I told you that it was just nonsense.”
“And that’s why you’re a liar! Sarah just told me, that he said that to you after you and Camille broke up.”
“Okay...and?”
I inhale as deep as I can. It makes me dizzy, adds to my headache. “And, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? With the knowledge that the only reason you’re even with me, is because I’m gonna fuck you up so bad you’ll get songs out of it?
“Y/n,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’re taking this waaay too literally. Trust me.”
“You’re not in a position right now where I even want to trust you.”
“This has gotten completely out of control. I cannot believe you’re this upset over something so stupid.”
“Right there, Harry!” I point at him. “You keep dismissing how I feel! You don’t even care that this upsets me! That I feel like I need to reevaluate our entire relationship!”
“What is there to evaluate!? I haven’t even done anything! You’re blowing up about something that someone else said!”
“But you listened to him!”
“What,” he shrugs, “what do you want?”
“I don’t know what I want, Harry. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what?” He pauses, swallowing. “Us?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, us. I can’t be with you if—if you’re just waiting around for me to ruin you emotionally.”
“You’re seriously gonna let someone else’s words do this to us? You’d break up with me because of something another person said?”
“Harry, if I break up with you it’s gonna be because of what you’ve done. I don’t care that he said it, I care that you agree to it. And quite frankly, it’s pretty insulting to Camille. You spent a part of your life with that girl, and you just capitalize off of it. I’m not gonna let you do that to me.”
“I’m not capitalizing off of anyone! What the hell am I supposed to write my songs about? I’m just supposed to not date then?”
“It’s the fact that you sought out a relationship in order to fuel your writing.”
“No, y/n, that’s not what I did.” He narrows his eyes at me, and even in the dark I can see his anger. “I sought you out because I was devastated after me and her broke up. You were only supposed to be a rebound.”
I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. The music overhead blurs into noise scraping my eardrum, my vision grows weak and foggy. He wanted to hurt me, and he did.
“I expect a thank you when you release your next album.” I spin on my heel and head towards the main road, yanking my phone from my pocket to call an uber. For the second time tonight, my name trails behind me in the wind. I can hear Harry’s steps pick up, and as fast as I walk, he still catches me.
“Y/n, please, let’s go back to the hotel. You can hate me and not talk to me, but please don’t leave.”
I ignore him, trying to set up my ride. “Where the hell are we?”
He glances at my phone, and I can tell he considers keeping the answer to himself, so he can keep me to himself. He drops his voice, much weaker than before. “Carbon Beach. Canyon road.”
Ten minutes.
“Y/n—”
“I am not interested in discussing this with you.”
“I’m so sorry. I—I was mad and was just trying to win the argument. Whichever way I could.”
“Congratulations on your win.”
“Y/n, please, honey. I don’t want to lose you.” He drags his hands down his face, keeping his palms dug into his eyes. When he lets them drop, there are tears spilling down his cheeks. “I can’t lie and say you weren’t, but yes you were a rebound for me, but that went away. Literally weeks after we started dating. I care about you so much. I wouldn’t drag you to every show and event I have if I didn’t. I’m so proud to call you mine. The last thing you are to me is—is just grounds for my writing.”
I stare out across the road. A jeep speeds by and the gush of wind it brings sends chills down my arms.
“Harry, I just...it’s a lot. You’re a lot. Your life is a lot.” I sigh and slowly turn to face him. “It feels like the significance of us being in each other’s lives are so different.”
He kicks a rock across the road, dust flying up around us. “Fuck. Y/n I’m begging—”
“They’re here.” I nod to the headlights approaching us.
“Baby, please.”
“I think I need to be alone right now.” I get in the backseat. “Enjoy your party.”
***
I text him when I’m back at the hotel, having nowhere else to go. I didn’t think my plan of leaving through, because he’ll come back here before the night’s over. But I’m hoping he’ll stay away for a bit, long enough for me to process everything at least.
Deep down I know there’s not as much to the comment as I thought. And Harry’s not that type of guy. But the lack of concern over my feelings...the fact that I was just used as a warm body while he got over Camille...that’s what hurts the most.
There’s a fine line between being sorry because you’ve been called out, and truly being sorry. How sorry can he be when he got what he wanted? Even if I’m not what he envisioned past a few quick fucks, he still comes out on top happy.
I feel like the lifestyle these people live is embedded with secret codes, all of which I’m not wired to pick up on. The money, the mistakes, the adoration... Everything is a lot, and playing catch up is nearly impossible.
I don’t get the alone time I’d wished for. There are curses and clicks of the doorknob right before Harry comes in. He stands at the entrance, staring at me on the lounge chair like he’s unsure if I’m real.
“Wasn’t sure you’d come back here.”
“Where else can I go?” I nod to his phone in his hand. “I texted you.”
“I was driving.”
I sigh, flinching when he turns the lights on. “I know you wanna talk, but I don’t even know what to say.”
“You don’t have to,” he says, dropping his keys on a table to come sit beside me. “I’ll talk though.” He inhales, holding his breath for a second before forcing the air out. “I know that me saying I’m sorry means shit to you right now. And to be honest, it probably is coming from me...in a way. You’re right about everything. And whatever you’re feeling, once you figure that out, you’re valid about that too.”
“How would you feel if you were only meant to be temporary in my life? You never mentioned why you were interested in me in the beginning. And no, I never would have gone out with you had I known. I would never want to be someone’s rebound. There’s just something sneaky about that.”
His head drops into his hands, and his shoulders shake right before I hear him cry. “I know, I—I get so caught up in myself sometimes. I’m such a fucking prick.” When he looks up, his eyes are burnt red, glassy and defeated. “I don’t deserve you, and I really don’t deserve anyone.”
“Harry,” I chastise, not expecting the downward spiral he’s ventured onto.
“I swear I care about you. I want you to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I don’t want to be the one to treat you this way. Ever.”
I inhale as deep as I can, holding my breath until it hurts. “I know.” I take his hand in mine. “And I know your heart, and I know you care about me. I—” I sigh, “I’m not comfortable with...just forgetting all of this though. I can forgive you, but I think we need to take a couple steps back. I’ve gotten so swept up in your life and your world, I’m losing my own.”
He nods slowly, accepting my words with a pained face.
“I care about you too.”
He looks up for the first time, catching the last few tears with the back of his hand. “I know you do.”
I offer a small smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. His eyes fall closed, and blindly he turns to press his lips to mine. Our kiss is salty and urgent.
“What did you say to everyone when you left?”
He frowns in thought, like the memory is too far away. “Nothing. Jumped in my car and prayed this is where you’d be.”
I take his hand and pull us both to our feet. “We should go to bed. It’s been a long night. Too long.”
We’re quiet and slow as we shed our clothes and brush our teeth, slipping into bed around two a.m.. Harry doesn’t waste a second in pulling me into his warm chest, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug that has me burying my face into his neck.
We lay there, silent, but when I know I don’t have much longer before sleep overcomes me, I kiss his shoulder, whispering how much I love him before I close my eyes.
#ehhhhh#idk#i think i'm ok with writing angst#but struggle with turning it into fluff#i tried tho#requests#requested#harry styles#harry styles writing#cherryyharryy#cherryyharryy writing#harry styles blurb#harry styles one shot#harry styles angst to fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles ou
223 notes
·
View notes
Note
The ask about venti and a reader who sings dark stuff got me thinking:
How would venti, a bard who usually sings calm and soft songs, and zhongli, the definition of a classic gentlman, react to sneaking into their S/O's concert and finding out they play loud screamo death metal. I say sneak in because I imagine the S/O thinks they wont like it. Can be separate or poly depending on your mood.
I just finished my essay! I’ve still got art to do but yahoo!
I also pulled Yanfei yesterday but idk if I wanna build her :|
Anyway hi, I’m doing this monogamous cause I feel like it :)
omw to play genshin now
Pairings; (Seperate) Venti, and Zhongli x reader
Warning(s);
Keep reading under the cut!
Venti
“I’m off!” you announce to Venti as you leave the house “You’ll probably be home before me” you smile kissing the mans cheek and leaving the house
Venti knows of your occupation but doesn’t really know much about it, you’ve never bothered to invite him to your concerts on the count that you’re sure he’d never like something as harsh as your music
Though more recently your music has been the chatter of the bar, especially when the patrons start discussing your new song about love. Those who aren’t from Mondstat are often discuss the curious love interest that you sing about, so count his interest spiked
So not five minutes after you leave the house Venti runs about getting on a new outfit fit for a metal performance.
And with new outfit in tow the bard finds himself in the back of your concert listening to the pre band
Venti can understand why you didn’t think he’d like the atmosphere. There are so many close, sweaty bodies. Not the kind of place that people tend to find the bard.
But Venti is in his element, so much so he’s found himself in the mosh pit a little while before your band even comes on
“Good evening Teyvat!” you yell into the mic, the crowd erupts in a fit of screams and cheers, Venti feels a rise of pride in his chest “It’s time to rock baby!” you yell again erupting another fit of cheers and the distinct riff of a guitar
Your set is surely something. You sing so many emotions that occasionally between songs Venti finds himself getting whiplash from the rapid change of themes, but the crowd seems to eat it up
“Time for one more song!” you say into the mic with a grin “This one is dedicated to my life partner, so I hope you have some open ears” you add
The song begins and as you sing Venti smiles at your words that touch his heart. While his way of music may be seen as traditionally seen as romantic, Venti thinks he’s never seen something so romantic before
After the set Venti is immediately leaving to phone you
“Hey Venti whats up?” you answer
“Am I interrupting anything” he asks, he hears the shake of your head over the phone
“Nope” you pop the p “Just finished my set”
“Well in that case come out to the band entrance”
“Kay!” you hang up the phone and rush out through the band entrance. There’s a few people about but most notably Venti is there with a grin and waving at you. You run up into him and his arms
“What are you doing here sweetie?” you ask kissing the bards cheek. Venti giggles
“Hm, well I popped in and watched your set” he smiles “You’re amazing by the way”
“Huh, I. . thank you baby” you grin giving Venti another few kisses
Zhongli
“Later love” you smile to Zhongli “If Xinyan breaks in tell her I’ll teach her in the morning” you tell him waving as you leave
“Stay safe love” he tells you waving you out
Zhongli is very aware of your profession in the metal but hasn’t really had the guts to show up at your place of work. That and you’ve never given him an explicit permission to join you while you work. You’ve mentioned it in passing but never anything explicit
Zhongli can’t help but get his interest piqued when the talk about Liyue revolves around your music. So today he’s built the courage to turn up unannounced
Zhongli leaves a note on the side for Xinyan, a protégé that you had adopted into the home a year or so ago, just to pass on your note
Zhongli arrives at the venue and immediately makes a b-line for the back entrance, with a flash on his pass and a charismatic conversation Zhongli is in and ready to listen to your creations
The music is loud, loud in a different way than how Opera is loud. Loud in a beautiful white noise kind of way. Zhongli loves it more than he thought he would, probably because you’re singing
Zhongli sees the crowd that you’re singing to, he notices the mosh pit and the casual listeners who enjoy just jumping and headbanging along to your music
He’s very impressed at the crowd you draw in. It makes him proud of you
Zhongli spies a few familiar faces in the crowd and smiles softly
The archons eye falls to you as you scream into your mic and boy does Zhongli smile widely to himself
He’s never found a moment where he’s more whipped for you, doing what you love in front of people who are here to cheer for you. To yell for you. Maybe if Zhongli wasn’t such a refined gentleman he to would find himself in your crowd
“Thank you so much Teyvat! You have all been dope as fuck!” you yell before bowing and jogging of the stage
“My love that was quite the performance” you hear Zhongli from behind you causing you to jump
“Zhongli what are you doing here?” you ask with a smile and a kiss on his cheek
“Thought I’d see what my fiancé does for their job” he confesses looking into your eyes “It was amazing” he adds
You giggle “Thank you love” you grin “You should have said you wanted to drop by though” you add, Zhongli shakes his head
“I got to surprise you instead” he smiles
“He really is a keeper [name]!” you hear the bands bassist yell from behind you
“That he is, that he is”
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#venti x reader#zhongli x reader#genshin venti#genshin zhongli#venti#zhongli
149 notes
·
View notes
Text
NOT JUST ANYONE.
izuku midoriya x gn! reader
Word Count -> ~ 1810
Genre -> oneshot, fluff
Content -> mildly suggestive (spice rating is 1.5/5), drunk reader, swearing, college au! characters, older reader and younger deku | please lemme know if i missed anything!
Summary -> You really did believe a certain Izuku Midoriya had his nose buried in his textbooks 24/7. Your first impression of him had led you to pin him as a downright nerd - boring and young and nowhere near your type.
a/n -> 1. idk about the cover page i jus thought deku looked cool there and the oneshot title is eh 2. this was in my drafts for a long, LONG time and today i finally got it to the point where i didn't hate it. enjoyy <333
Once, you really did believe a certain Izuku Midoriya had his nose buried in his textbooks 24/7. Your first impression of him had led you to pin him down as a nerd - boring, and young and nowhere near your type.
Boy, were you wrong.
The first time you’d met him, he’d smiled at you with such bright, green eyes, it was almost impossible not to smile back.
“Hello, l/n y/n, s’nice to finally meet you! I’m Midoriya Izuku!” He'd very obviously sunken his voice an octave lower, and whether that was on purpose or not, it was still cute. Still innocent, still pure.
Not attractive, whatsoever.
“Yeah,” you'd turned your attention back to your work,“it’s nice to meet you too.”
After that, your ever-so-impatient brother had rushed him into his room, and Midoriya had obliged - not before shooting you one last glance. In hindsight, there might’ve been something just a teeny bit darker that had resided in Midoriya's lively eyes.
Then, weeks passed.
Was it just you, or did college students grow really, really fast?
As he left your brother's work room for the millionth time that month, you found yourself noticing how different he looked compared to when you’d first met him. Now, when Izuku waved a (large, my god) hand at you, he looked taller, broader… older.
“See you," he chirped to his friend, bringing you back to the reality where he was most definitely not older than you.
Wake up, you're practically a senior citizen, you’d chided yourself, there’s no way he’s mature enough for you. Then, another side of you, presumably the devil that sat on your shoulder, tried to argue. You’re not much older, it said, he’s practically the same age as you.
“Oh wait- there was something I had to ask you, l/n-”
“S’fine, you can call me y/n, ‘Zuku.” you didn’t intend to call him something so intimate, the words just.... absent-mindedly slipped out your mouth.
Oopsies daisies!
“Oh! I - I can? Um… ah,” you watched, mildly entertained by the way he tripped up his words, all from a nickname, “we’re all going out tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come-”
“Who’s we?”
“Er- me, and… and your brother! And a few others!”
“Oh?” You couldn’t let yourself smile, not yet.
“It’ll be fun!” He sputtered, “a lot of um, a lot of… um, drinking?” It sounded more like a question than a persuasive statement.
You blinked. “Yeah sure, that sound’s good. I didn’t take you for someone who drank.”
“I don’t?”
“Then why are you going?”
“I thought it would be a good way to spend time with y- my friends.”
“Ah, your friends.”
“Yup,” he squeaked.
“Okay then!” You smacked him playfully on his arm - his large, extremely toned, t-shirt-stretching arm - and jolted him out of his fear, “I’ll see you then, ‘Zuku!”
>>
Izuku Midoriya had a surprising number of friends.
He had, in a gentlemanly fashion, offered to walk with you to the bar (though your brother was there too) and when you stepped in, you were taken aback by the several people at your table.
Your guts told you to sit beside the angry one - he looked… fun.
“Who the fuck is this?” The blond talked like you weren’t there.
“Kacchan,” another blond - with a black streak in his hair - chided, “be nice to the pretty birdie!” Was he drunk already?
“Yeah, Kacchan,” you smirked, “respect your elders.”
The first blond just about exploded on the spot.
“Watch your mouth,” he seethed at you.
“Hot,” you muttered, unaware of evergreen eyes that couldn’t seem to peel themselves off your lips; your soft, pink, kissable lips.
“What the fuck?” Kacchan flinched back.
“Sorry,” you grinned, “I meant ‘little snot’.”
“Yeah? I’ll show you little sn-”
>>
Four flirtatious advances from three of Izuku’s friends, two hours and 1 mental breakdown later, you were finally ready to go home - everyone was, really - but where was your brother?”
“Deku,” he’d hissed at the greenette, “I’m not going back to the apartment today, can you take-” he gestured towards you, slumped over a pile of food, “- that thing back to the apartment?”
Izuku opened his mouth, about to ask why he couldn’t but immediately shut up again when he realized it was more time he had to spend with you. “Yeah, no problem.”
“Don’t try anything.”
“Wasn’t gonna!” Awkwardly, Izuku scooched his way past Sero and Uraraka, trying to find a place to put his hands so he could lift you off the table. Luckily, he didn’t have to.
“Ah, ‘Zuku!” You gave him a cheeky grin, “you’re friends are so…” you watched Bakugou, “... cute. Have a drink!” It was almost laughable how quickly you changed from topic to topic. Almost. The only non-laughable part was that Bakugou seemed to be a recurring theme.
Izuku pursed his lips, “no, you’re drunk. One of us has to be clear-minded enough to take you home.”
“You’re so smart! Good boy,” you ruffled his hair with a sticky hand, and your rapid strokes fell to a halt when you realized how soft his green hair was. “Wow,” you whispered, “I love your hair. Lemme smell it-”
“NO, no. We’re going home.”
“We?” A smirk played on your lips.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you frowned when he didn’t stutter - he didn’t even go red. Izuku’s entire demeanor had changed; there was no nervous little college guy right now trying to talk to you, there was a friend (haha) genuinely trying to get you home safely. “Now c’mon, can you walk?”
You stood up and skipped a few steps. “Yup.”
>>
“So, Izuku,” you didn’t bother to hide the fact that you were (very greedily) squeezing his biceps, “gotta girlfriend?”
“N-no.”
“... a boyfriend?”
“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’, and pulled you onto the wall-side of the sidewalk when a car drove by.
“Any significant other...ss?” You added the plural, just in case.
“No,” he smiled slyly at you, “why? Are you interested?”
You’d known him for months, but this was the first time he’d said something so forward, enough to make your cheeks flare so hot they felt cold.
“No way,” you spoke like it was obvious, and then quickly checked to make sure he didn’t look hurt. “Hey! Why do you look so amused?”
“M’not,” he turned his head, so you couldn’t see the smile.
“You are. Why?”
“Ah, I can’t say. We’re here,” he punched in the apartment code. “You should get ready for bed.”
There was a small, comfortable pause before drunk-you decided to ignore his advice and speak again. “So, do ya like anyone?”
“I like a lot of people,” Izuku smirked.
Smirked.
“N-no,” you played with the hem of your sweater, “I meant, do you like-like anyone?”
“Hm,” he thought for a second, “that’s a secret.”
“C’mon ‘Zuku! You can trust me!”
“I know that - gimme your coat,” he set it onto a nearby couch and began to flick on random lights, “I still can’t say it, though.”
“Why not?”
“Y/n,” you froze. He’d called you by your first name before, why did it feel so weird now?
“Yes?”
“I’m taking you to your bedroom.”
“You… you are?”
“You’ve got to sleep.”
Oh. Boringggg.
“I don’t wanna,” you hissed, flopping onto your bed anyways. He took a seat at the foot of it.
“Do you… do you ever remember anything once you're sober again?”
“Nope!” You knew you should’ve lied, but you didn’t, “m’friends say I don’t remember a single thing the next morning.”
He chuckled a little bit, almost in disbelief at you. “That’s not something you can just tell anyone.”
“I know, but you’re not just ‘anyone’.”
“I feel like I’m talking to a child.”
“I’m older than you.”
“Yeah,” he laughed, “it’s kinda hot.”
“What?” Did you mishear? “How do you know what hot means?”
“Y/n! I’m not that young!” He laughed, “sheesh, that hurts.”
“Hurts?”
“Yeah,” he smiled coolly. After all, you weren’t going to remember this conversation.
“”Why does it hurt?”
“... No reason, don’t worry,” he laughs again, for the third time in a row, but it feels dry to you, and empty, too.
“So who do you like?” You chirped again, completely disregarding his ‘I’m pretty sure I just got brother-zoned’ ideology.
“I told you, that’s a secret…” then, he bit his lip, “... but you won’t remember anyways, right?”
“Yep!”
“Then... I like you.”
“Who?” You smiled.
“You.”
“Oh, I like you, too.”
“I like-like you.”
“I like-like you, too.”
“You’re drunk,” he smiled sadly, “sleep.”
“I want fruit.”
“Now? You want me to go get you fruit?”
“Please?”
You inhaled the bucket of raspberries, “anyways, I really do like you. You’re so small and cute.”
“I’m small?”
“No, you’re built like a tank,” you giggled. Sober-you would have called drunk-you an airhead, “I think you’re sexy as hell.”
“Yeah?”
You leaned closer to him. You were sure he could smell alcohol and sugar on your breath, but you didn’t care. “Yeah.”
“Then can I tell you something else?”
“Sure!”
“Kacchan annoys me so much,” he wiped off the juice that dribbled down your chin with his thumb, and you made the mistake of leaning into his touch, “especially when he flirts with you.”
“When’s he ever flirted with me?”
“Tonight,” Izuku pulled back, and you (embarrassingly) fell forward. “I didn’t like it.”
“Were you jealous?”
“Yes,” he admitted, and quite shamelessly - but only because you weren’t sober.
“Aw, don’t be jealous,” you cooed at him, and then randomly, “you remind me of bunnies!”
“That’s cute,” his voice was hoarse, “then, can you promise me something, bunny?”
You flushed hot. “That - that’s not what I meant, I meant you’re my bunny.”
“Sure,” he nodded along.
You shuffled yourself a little closer to him. This wasn’t the Midoriya Izuku you’d come to know, who was he? Why was he so different from the twitchy student who cared so much about his grades?
“What did you want me to promise?” It was a good idea to change the topic, you thought, for his sake, not your own. Definitely.
“Promise me you won’t let Kacchan get so close to you anymore,” he played with your fingers, “you can do that, right? You... can be a good bunny for me?”
“Mhm,” you couldn't refuse when he put it like that.
“Go to bed now, it’s late.”
“On one condition.”
“And what’s that?”
“Kiss me.”
Izuku paused. His eyes were on your lips, that was for sure, but he showed no sign of moving closer. “M’not gonna do that when you're drunk.”
You frowned.
“I’ll sit with you ‘till you're asleep. I’m not… touching you, though.”
“Manly,” you murmured.
“Human decency,” he corrected.
The greenette pulled your covers above your waist and moved to the desk chair in your room, “good night, y/n.”
It was a shame this would all be forgotten, and the two of you would be back to square one by morning.
a/n -> yes the nickname has everything to do with my URL and so what
#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#fanfiction#mha x reader#bnha x reader#deku x reader#izuku x reader#deku#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#bakugou#midoriya x reader#oneshots#fluff#oneshot#mha oneshot#🛒 ; main aisles
166 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hehe hi girly 🧍♂️ idk if you write for bertholdt but can you do an imagine where the soldiers have a day off so the reader and bertholdt are rly crushing on each other but both are rly shy and just end up under a tree and eating fruit. The reader talks about cool facts about fruit and stuff and bertholdt thinks it’s rly cute and they end up falling asleep together before someone finds them when the group starts looking for them? Thx babycakes 💕
“Long Talks & Fruit,” Bertholdt x Reader
Oh bitch we’re definitely doing fluffy Bertholdt. He’s such a cutie🥺🤧 didn’t deserve the things he got.
Summary: two shy birds spending a day together. fluffy Bertholdt🥺 extreme fluff
Warnings: noneeeee
.
.
.
It had been a very long week, your body ached and screamed for you to rest in bed when the Captain decided to give everyone a day off. You were glad for the day to just relax that you taken longer in the shower, letting the cool water relax all your aching muscles in your body.
When you had gotten dressed and went into your room, Bertholdt had scared you right when you stepped through the door, frightening him as well.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” His nervous laugh had made you relax, your cheeks growing red as you went over to drop the towels on your bed
“No worries, what’s up?”
“It’s our only day off so I wanted to see if you wanted to have a picnic near the woods?” He barely managed to say, stuttering on his words along the way and that made you crack a big smile.
“You want to spend your day off with me?” You asked him, the butterflies exploding in your stomach had made you turn a darker shade of red, you were positive he noticed how red you were, he nodded his head.
“Yeah, why not.” You agreed to it, you thought it was a cute idea.
“Wait, seriously?” He was caught by surprise, he didn’t think you would give in so easily, maybe it was just his nerves making him believe you didn’t have the same feelings he had for you deep down.
You nodded your head, repeating your answer and he had jumped up, ordering you to be outside in ten minutes before he had rushed out the door. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he walked down the hallway to grab the things that he needed, he even stopped to tell Reiner that you had agreed to hang out with him.
This made his heart so full that his hands became sweaty while he was packing the small basket before he was confident enough to meet you outside. The way your hair had rested over your shoulders and the way normal clothes looked so much better on you than the stupid uniform they wore.
His cheeks turned pink just by the sight of you and his nerves were kicking in again while he walked beside you down towards the woods, he would steal quick glances at you and he had to keep thinking to himself about why did you agree to go here with him today but he tried to not overthink it.
Once you two had made it, he helped you up the tall tree where you two would normally sit and talk when you needed to get away from the scouts. It was a peaceful area, the only sounds were birds chirping and the leaves moving in the wind.
You both sat along the large tree branch, leaning over to look into the basket and see the various options of fruit and drinks to snack on.
“So, what do you think about the mission that’s coming up?” You mumbled, reaching into the basket and pulling out a small container of strawberries, putting one in your mouth.
“That’s something I don’t want to think about.” He admitted, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he thought about the next mission and the possibilities.
“Right, sorry. This is our only day off.”
“Don’t be sorry, it’s kind of natural to want to talk about work since that’s all we do.”
You sat there quietly, not knowing what to say next. You personally felt like you had said the wrong thing, bringing up the stupid scouts already ruining the small moment you two were sharing beforehand.
As your eyes glanced down at the strawberry in your hand, taking a bite out of it and moving your eyes to look at him noticing how deep into thought he was.
“Did you know strawberries hold about two hundred seeds?” You randomly said, trying to ease up the tension and awkwardness that was filling up the air.
“How do you know that?”
“Just a simple fact I learned from my dad.” You laughed, popping the next one in your mouth and he looked at you, meeting your gaze.
“Anymore fruit facts, genius?” He teased, leaning his back against the tree and playfully threw a small strawberry towards you.
“Uhh, I’ll have to think.” Your cheeks couldn’t help but blush, picking the strawberry that landed on your lap before tossing it back at him resulting in hitting his cheek by accident.
Your hand slapped over your mouth, stifling your giggles when you saw the look of shock written on his face. You leaned over to wipe his cheek with your sleeve, still laughing.
“Trying to kill me with a strawberry?”
“Not at all!” You started to grow flustered with how hard he was staring at you, felt like your eyes burned into your soul and tried to read your mind.
The rest of the day you two had stayed up on the tree, talking about everything but the job itself. He had opened up to you about his home and how his family was like, he even got into detail about how he seen Reiner as an older brother.
It was cute how much he would talk about everything he was passionate about, family, friends and he even mentioned a few things on why he joined the scouts.
As the sun fell, you grew tired but you were far too comfortable in the position you were in. Both of you leaned back against the tree, looking up as the star shined down, making everything look bright and pretty.
While he had went into detail about something he was deeply passionate about, you had rested your head on his shoulder, listening to his story. The few times he would laugh, it made you crack a smile. Eventually your eyes had fluttered shut and you ended up falling asleep a little too quickly, your arm linked with his.
He hadn’t realized it at first until it grew quiet, his eyes looking down at you close to his side, holding onto his arm as you slept peacefully. He didn’t want to bother you or wake you so he preferred to sit there and admire you as much as he would like without you catching him.
The amount of feelings he felt for you was overflowing in his big heart and he hated not being able to be straight forward and let you know even though he desperately wanted to. He reached over, brushing your hair back from your face before he decided to get comfortable next to you.
His head had rested on top of yours and not long after, he had quickly fallen asleep, not paying attention to much where they were and how they should’ve headed back to the base.
It had been hours, time nearing midnight and Reiner had realized you two have been gone nearly all day before he mentioned it to Levi, making the group go out and try to search for the both of you.
Reiner had known they went into the woods so that was the first place they decided to look in, not taking long before they had seen the both of you sleeping up in the tree.
“What a romantic.” Reiner chuckled, climbing up to where you two sat and woke you up.
“Come on, love birds we have training in the morning.”
.
.
.
Bruh I feel like this didn’t turn out as good as I had hoped.
• Main Masterlist •
• AOT Masterlist •
#bertholdt x reader#Bertholdt imagines#Bertholdt imagine#Bertholdt fanfic#Bertholdt headcanons#aot imagines#aot imagine#aot fanfic#aot x reader#aot headcanons#attack on titan headcanons#attack on titan imagines
303 notes
·
View notes
Text
to taste the freedom of peace. 2.
Ken Kaneki x Female! Human! Reader
Synopsis: Anteiku is one of your favorite coffee spots in Tokyo. When a new worker suddenly pops up, you can't help but notice. Should you have been surprised that he noticed you too?
-
A/n: I feel like the first chapter was kinda bad, but I’m high as shit right now and kinda blanking on ideas lmao idk why though. Probs cause I haven’t written for a while rip. Anyway, here’s chapter two.
CHAPTER ONE
-
Genre: Romance, Friendship Rated: Everyone Warning: Fluff, Sweet themes
-
Author: ScariusAquarius
-
After your morning classes had ended, you were well on your way to Anteiku to do your homework and relax. The rain had continued through the night, and the city smelled heavily of wet concrete and fresh morning dew. Fog was heavy, but it was a beautiful day.
It was almost poetic how the suffering of the world yielded such a beautiful aftermath.
Walking into Anteiku, you were greeted almost immediately by the lovely smell of baked goods and coffee. Looking around, you spotted the staff and regulars who knew you as well, and greeted them all.
“Good afternoon, everyone.”
Kaneki came around a corner and lit up when he spied you, Yoshimura greeting you and handing a cup of coffee for Kaneki to take to you.
“Good afternoon, Ms. (L/n). How were your classes today?”
“They went alright, but I have a large workload ahead of me. Finals for this semester are coming.”
You made a face, and Kaneki offered gently.
“Don’t worry, (L/n). You’ll do great!”
You smiled gently, and Touka, the purple-haired one that always looked annoyed, rolled her eyes. You snorted slightly before nodding to Kaneki.
“Thank you, I appreciate that. How has your morning been so far, Kaneki?”
“O-oh, just…just the typical.”
You tilted your head at him, asking.
“What’s your typical?”
Kaneki flushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I don’t really have a set thing that I do. I just wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, and then whatever happens.”
You chuckled and drank your coffee, sighing at the taste before saying.
“But even something so basic as that can be considered a routine. We should talk more once I finish some of my work.”
Kaneki smiled and nodded before making his way back behind the counter. As he worked, Kaneki couldn’t keep his eyes off you. Despite almost all patrons at Anteiku being ghouls, you were probably the only regular that was human. It seemed almost strange to Kaneki.
Though humans did come from time-to-time, you seemed to be the only one who made it apart of your daily life to come to Anteiku. Kaneki didn’t know for how long, but it must have been at least a month or two for Yoshimura to be so friendly with you.
Well, maybe. Yoshimura was a genuine man, even having said that he liked humans once. Yoshimura was probably just being kind…but even so, Yoshimura didn’t ask every single patron how their day was. Yoshimura seemed to observe Kaneki as Kaneki watched you, chuckling lightly before saying to the young and infatuated man as he frowned to himself in confusion.
“Ms. (L/n) has been coming here for about four months now. She comes in every single day at noon to do her homework and read, save for Saturdays and Sundays. Since Anteiku is the only café within walking distance of her home, she chose this place for a safe haven.”
Kaneki looked over at Yoshimura, asking quietly.
“Does everyone here know that she’s human?”
Yoshimura chuckled.
“Of course. Even so, we at Anteiku are dedicated to treating everyone equally.”
Kaneki went back to watching you before jolting as Touka threw a mug at him.
“Quit staring, you creep, and get back to work.”
“I-I wasn’t staring! I promise!”
Touka rolled her eyes, and muttered.
“Whatever, eyepatch, just get back to work.”
Kaneki flushed before brewing more coffee, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. You were an enigma, a sudden mystery, and Kaneki was interested in figuring you out. Though, the last time he did that with a girl, he got turned into a half-ghoul…
Pursing his lips, Kaneki shook his head a little, and Yomo said to Yoshimura.
“He’s gonna get infatuated with her.”
“Perhaps it will be good for the boy’s soul.”
The old man replied as he wiped a cup and set it down on the counter, smiling to himself. There was a twinge of sadness in Yoshimura’s voice, however, that Yomo did not comment on. Instead, the man drank his coffee and went back to being silent and mysterious at the counter.
-TIMESKIP-
You sighed as you shut your books and relaxed in your seat. You had managed to finish at least three classes worth of work, and now needed a break. Your coffee had since gone untouched, cold and bitter as you took a sip, and you made a face at the coffee before sighing.
Packing all of your schoolwork up, you were surprised to see a new cup of coffee being held out to you. Taking the cup with a smile, you thanked Kaneki as he sat across from you.
“Thank you, Kaneki. I was just about to ask for a new cup.”
“Of course. How was your homework?”
You took a thankful sip, sighing gently.
“I managed to finish most of my work, but I still have one more class to do. What about you, Kaneki? Do you go to school?”
Kaneki seemed to get a faraway look in his eyes, one that spoke many words, and your shoulders dropped a bit. Kaneki answered honestly.
“Nowadays, I rarely have any time or any energy to go.”
“I see. Do you miss it?”
Kaneki nodded, giving you a small sad smile.
“All the time. Most importantly, I miss my friend Hide. We’ve been childhood friends for a long time.”
You smiled at Kaneki, simply observing him before you ears caught the news report on the television that was playing. Turning to watch the screen, you began to frown.
“-Three new bodies have been found within the 10th and 11th wards. They are believed to be connected to the binge eater that was located in the 20th ward. These deaths-“
Tuning out the report, you sighed and looked back down at your cup of coffee, staring down at your reflection. Kaneki was interested in the sadness that seemed to fill your eyes. Taking a chance, Kaneki asked you.
“Um…I hope it isn’t too personal to ask…but you look sad. Is everything alright?”
You nodded before admitting to Kaneki.
“it’s just…I don’t understand the concept of killing and how a person can just…kill. Why do people hate, Kaneki? Wouldn’t it be easier to just love one another?”
Kaneki was at a loss for words. It was a question that he had thought of for so long, but never could get a solid answer to. How could he answer you if he didn’t even know?
“I honestly don’t know, (L/n). That’s not an easy question to answer.”
“It shouldn’t be hard to love someone else, even if you don’t know them. Why not just care? Why not love? We have the ability to do so…so why are people afraid?”
You looked genuinely upset, and it made Kaneki become speechless once again. Never had he ever come across someone quite like you. Kaneki looked down at your previous and empty cup of coffee, and glanced at you as you sighed.
“I’m sorry, Kaneki. Please don’t indulge me. I tend to think on philosophical topics a little too much at times.”
A pretty smile came across your face even though Kaneki could see that you were still bothered, and Kaneki’s heart suddenly skipped a beat. Instead, Kaneki simply smiled.
“I wouldn’t mind listening. Seems like you really have a lot to say.”
You looked taken back, and for a moment, you both stared at each other before getting embarrassed. Kaneki shot up, chair skidding as he grabbed your empty cups.
“H-Here! Let me refill this for you!”
Kaneki stumbled away, almost dropping the cups, and you couldn’t help but giggle. When Kaneki came back with another cup of coffee, you thanked him and took a sip.
“Kaneki, can I ask you something?”
Kaneki nodded, saying to you as he stood beside the table and gazed at you in interest.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Would you like to be friends?”
[CHAPTER THREE SOON]
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS WORK, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND REBLOG. SUPPORT YOUR CONTENT CREATORS.
#Kaneki#Ken#Ken Kaneki#Kaneki Ken#Reader#Kaneki x Reader#Ken x Reader#Ken Kaneki x Reader#Kaneki Ken x Reader#Ken Kaneki Fanfiction#Kaneki Ken Fanfiction#Tokyo Ghoul#Tokyo Ghoul x Reader#Tokyo Ghoul Fanfiction
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
Then I Met You | M. Barzal
A/N: IT’S FINALLY HEREEE!! Thank you for being patient, and please, PLEASE let me know what you think!! 🥺❤️ (playlist + pinterest) Songs mentioned, in order of appearance: IDK You Yet - Alexander 23 IDK You Yet (Live on Piano) - Alexander 23 Favorite T-Shirt (Acoustic) - Jake Scott
Summary: Mat is a musician living in New York. He’s got a regular spot playing at the café underneath his apartment. Then, one night, you walk into his life. Warnings: a little bit of swearing, alcohol mentions, lots of fluff.. BARZY PLAYING GUITAR AND PIANO!! (There’s also two different perspectives in this: Yours and Mat’s) Words: 13,8K Copyright © @matbaerzal 2020 All Rights Reserved Tagging: @tkachukme @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 @thirteenisles @zuucc @captainkreider @tysojost @generallybarzy @yeeehaw-hockey @kerwritesthings @suchalilyofthevalley @softboybarzal @josty @itrocksmysocks @patricksharp @broadstbroskis @laurenairay @charlie-theangelwrites @sorryjustafangirl @konecny-s @canadianheaters @folkloreflyers @shawnsreputation
Your usual cafe is only a few seconds from your apartment. Your usual cafe makes your coffee perfectly and has the best sweets to go with it. Your usual cafe is the perfect environment to do study in - it’s comfortable, predictable, safe.
So why you took a different turn this Thursday morning and headed for another cafe down the street, you had no idea. You’d walked past it countless times, always thinking to yourself that you should check it out one day, but you never had.
Until now.
Walking in, feeling the warmth, was an instant relief. Then you took in the scenery as you unwrapped the scarf around your neck before brushing off some snow from your coat. It was cozy, with a mix of old furniture that would not have worked if it was placed in any other space.
As you took in the exposed brick behind the bar counter, the art and the old guitars hanging on the sidewalls, and the piano that was standing on what could only be a stage, you wondered why you’d never gone in before now.
The young barista, Lucy - you read her name tag, gives you a warm smile as you walk over. “Hey, what can I get you?” she says as you glance over at the handwritten chalkboard menu behind her. “I’ll have a double latte” you glance over at the baked goods, “and a cinnamon bun, please” you decide.
She nods, “are you staying in, or taking it with you?” she asks as she lifts the glass food cover. “Staying in” you smile before looking around to find a place to sit. She puts the cinnamon bun on a small plate before entering your items on the till, as you pay you make sure to leave a little tip.
“I’ll bring the coffee over when it’s done,” she tells you, you thank her as you take your plate, finding a table near the window with a big chair that almost looks too comfortable. Carefully putting the plate down as you sit down before sliding your bag off your shoulder, setting it next to the chair.
You set the plate to the side, making room for your computer and book. Just as you’ve set everything up, Lucy comes over with your coffee, you thank her again as you reach out for it. You scootch your book over a little to make room for the cup, the table barely fitting everything you brought with you.
You hum in content as you take the first sip - smiling as your eyes scan the room. You look over at the couple of friends trying to keep their laughter down at the opposite side of the room. The middle-aged man reading the newspaper a couple of tables over, the grey dog laying by his legs. And the lady ordering her coffee before heading off to work.
Taking another sip you shift your focus back to your schoolwork in front of you, sighing as you put the cup down before opening the book. You absentmindedly rip a piece off the cinnamon bun, only to put the book down for a bigger piece when you taste it. Now you’re definitely kicking yourself for not coming here sooner.
You sit there for hours, watching people come and go, the pages on your document filling with notes, your cup emptying - stretching your legs as you order another one, and another one.
The last cup you order, you notice you can’t keep your focus on the pages you’re reading anymore, deciding to bookmark it to take a break. You put your items back in your bag, taking your time to finish the last half of your cup as you watch the strangers around you.
The middle-aged man with the dog is still there, his paper now folded by the table as he finishes eating the cake he ordered earlier. His dog perks up as he slowly gets up from his seat when he’s done. He takes the plate, lifting it over to the bar counter - giving it to Lucy who takes it from him with a smile, telling him he doesn’t have to keep doing that.
You gather he’s a regular as he walks back to his table calling for his dog and putting his jacket back on. He grabs the leash and picks up the newspaper. He smiles at you as he walks past you, turning to Lucy, lifting the newspaper to wave goodbye to her.
Something slips out of his paper as he lifts his hand, making you call after him as you stand up. Picking up what looks like some sort of flyer, you stretch your hand out to give it to him. He looks at your face, then back at the flyer, “that’s alright, you can keep that” he says with a polite smile before turning back around and continuing out the door before you can say anything.
Confusion takes over as the bell over the door rings when it closes again. You sit back down before you really look at the flyer.
Mat Barzal: Live Friday night at the Blackbird Café 9:00-10:30 PM Get your tickets online or at our venue
You hum to yourself, taking the last cold sip of your coffee before putting the flyer in your bag, making a note to ask your roommate, Olivia, if she has plans tomorrow night - intrigued to see this cozy cafe turn into something else. You slide your jacket back on, wrapping your scarf around your neck. After picking up your bag you take your cup and give it to Lucy who thanks you. You ask her if there are any tickets left for the concert and her face lights up a little.
“Yeah, do you want to buy a ticket?” she says.
“Actually, could I book a table? And I’ll get the tickets online - so, if my roommate wants to come along, she can- “ you trail off, noticing your own rambling.
“Yes, of course. Is that table ok?” she points to a small table a couple of rows from the stage, near the wall. You nod, and she writes down your details. “Perfect, I’ll see you tomorrow” she smiles, “yeah, have a nice day,” you say before bracing yourself for the cold air as you open the door.
The Blackbird Café
Mat wakes up late Friday morning with a headache - groaning as he glances over at the clock. He wants to let sleep take over his body again, but the ache in his empty stomach and the dull pain in his head wouldn’t have let him.
He lifts the covers, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he sits up, rolling his shoulders before getting up. He cranes his neck from side to side, breathing out as he hears the bones pop. He pulls on a pair of sweats, moving quickly to find socks to warm his feet from the cold floor.
He pulls on a hoodie as he walks out of his room, walking straight to his door to put on some shoes. He didn’t bother putting on a jacket, even though the air in the hallway is even colder than his apartment. There's a hurry in his steps as he walks down the stairs to the tiny lobby. As he walks out the door he instinctively wraps his arms around himself, huffing out as the cold air hits him.
He doesn’t waste time walking to the next door over. The familiar noise of the bell over the door comforts him - his headache lifting a bit already.
“Hey, Lucy” the sleep is still evident in his voice as he closes the door quickly behind him. She perks up when she sees him, instantly starting to make his usual coffee as she greets him, “Mat’s here” she says, quickly peeking her head into the kitchen.
Mat sits down on a barstool by the counter, gladly taking the plain black coffee from Lucy when she hands it to him. “You’re late today” she points out. Mat takes a sip of his coffee, nodding as he hums - “couldn’t sleep”
Lucy raises her brow for him to elaborate, there aren’t too many people in the café so she has time to talk to him, and her dad isn’t around to scold her for taking a break.
“I woke up in the middle of the night, and-” he pauses unsure of where to start. “So there’s this song I’ve been writing, and I’ve been stuck on it for the longest time” he takes another sip of his coffee. “And then it just came to me, and I couldn’t sleep until I’d written it all down and finished it, you know”
“So, there’s a new song in your set tonight?” Lucy hopes. It’s not that his current set was bad, not at all. But, having heard the same songs for months on end, the thought of a fresh song excited her. “Oh, I don’t know about that” Mat averts her eyes, his voice low and void of confidence.
“Mat, please, I’m sure it’s great” she tries to encourage him, but he’s still not sure. “I’ll give you free coffee for a month” she tries to bribe him, but he scoffs - “I barely pay for them as is”
“I’ll think about it,” he says after a moment, and the sheer joy on her face is enough to convince him - but he won’t tell her that she’s won just yet.
Lucy’s like a little sister to Mat - her dad, Daniel, owns the café and the two apartments above it. That’s how he landed a spot to play every first Friday of the month at the café. Daniel helped him move into his current apartment, and when he saw all the instruments he asked Mat to play him a couple of songs. That was almost three years ago, and Mat was still here.
He was beyond grateful for what Daniel did for him, he was sure he wouldn’t still be in New York if it wasn’t for him and this café. If Mat ever struggled to make ends meet, Daniel would help him out any way he could. Whether that was giving him a couple of shifts at the café or hooking him up with various bands in need of a substitute guitarist, pianist, or back-up singer.
But Mat had hoped he’d have gotten further by now.
Sure, he was living off of his music by now. He was able to pay rent and stock the fridge with the money he made off of writing songs. But he didn’t want to write meaningless songs for other artists to fill out a blank spot on their album.
Mat wanted to be on stage, performing his own songs, the ones he didn’t have it in him to sell. And once a month, he had a chance to do just that, and he loved it - he really did. But lately, something just felt off. Like he was missing something - something he couldn’t put his finger on.
And last night when he wrote that song, well, he hadn’t felt that alive in a long time.
The thought of performing it scared him a little, but if it meant he got to feel that way again, and if it made Lucy happy, he knew needed to do it.
----
You were going to be late.
Not that you were too surprised, Olivia had a special talent for being late to any occasion. She’d started getting ready two hours before you had to leave, but somehow, despite insisting she’d make it in time, the concert had now already started.
When she finally comes out of her room you shoot up from your spot on the couch, turning the TV off before going straight to the hallway. You see her stop abruptly, her thinking face on, and you hold your hand up before she can even say anything. “No, nope-” you put on a stern voice. “Whatever you think you’ve forgotten, I swear I have it in my purse” you grab her arm and pull her with you.
“Ok, ok I’m coming” she laughs.
Luckily her habit of always being late also meant that she was a fast walker, and you were at the café in no time. You could see that it was full, the only free table was the one you booked the day before.
As Olivia opens the door, a strange feeling washes over you - almost as if you were nervous. But before you can dwell on it, his voice pulls you in.
As one of the stage lights hits you, you can barely see the man standing on stage, but you swear you see him looking at you. You try to brush it off - it’s just because you walked in during his song. After you’ve sneaked past a couple of bodies to get to your table by the wall, you look up at the stage again and notice the whole room has gone silent.
No guitar, his voice quiet.
A breath catches in your throat - you hadn’t been able to take a proper look earlier, too embarrassed that you were late, but now you see him, really see him.
And he’s looking right at you.
You’re completely frozen in your spot, you don’t even register Olivia tugging at your sleeve to get you to sit down. It’s his tousled hair, his parted lips, and his eyes - his eyes. You’re compelled to walk closer, just to be able to find out what color they are, but you stay still. Though, even from where you’re standing you can see there’s a sadness hidden deep behind them.
Mat had grown tired of the lyrics to his songs a long time ago, as if the more he sang them the more the meaning behind the words faded away. Before last night he’d been in a rut and hadn’t written anything for months. He tried his best to pour his soul into them anyway, but even he knew that his eyes didn’t shine the way they used to when he sang those same old songs.
He’d glanced over at Lucy in the crowd before he began playing his new song, and taken a deep breath before he started picking on the strings, and there was a sense of relief that washed over him. That feeling he felt last night came back, it wasn’t as strong but it was in his fingertips as his music filled the room.
He’d felt every word deep in his bones when he wrote them down on the paper. It was like something took over and wrote it for him - an unknown muse had inspired him. He couldn’t quite understand it, but whoever they were he longed to find them.
Then, you walked in.
He didn’t see you at first, his eyes glued to the guitar, but as the bell over the door rang, he’d lifted his eyes. And the whole world stopped - the words slipping from his mind as your beauty blinded him.
He’s desperate to see your eyes, but as quickly as he gets a glimpse they’re gone - focused elsewhere as you rush to find your seat. Just as you’re about to sit down, you look up at him again.
A breath catches in his throat, and he’s consumed by you. Suddenly the words of his song make sense, and as he looks into your eyes they start to come back to him.
When his fingers pluck on the strings again and his voice fills the room again, it’s as if you can breathe again. The words seep into your soul, and you feel them in every bone of your body. His eyes never leave yours as he finishes the song.
How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet
It’s like you and he are the only people in the room, it’s not until you hear people clapping that the world fades back into view. Olivia touches your shoulder, making you tear your eyes away from him, grounding you. Your body is flushed with warmth, it’s almost overwhelming.
“Is it just me or is he staring at you?” Olivia says, you bite your lip looking back at him. His eyes are still on you, but you swear you see him blush before he averts his eyes to his guitar. He clears his throat, his voice is almost shy as he introduces the next song. You look back at Olivia again to answer, but you find yourself speechless. You’re left looking at her with your mouth agape, unable to put words to whatever it is you’re feeling. “He’s cute” she winks at you, and finally you scoff out a breath - “yeah”.
He continues his set, but you can’t quite shake the feeling that his words were meant for you. And you know that’s crazy, you’ve never met him before, never even seen him. Because if you had seen him, you would have remembered. Your breath hitches in your throat every time his eyes drift back to you.
You take a deep breath as he finishes his last song, thanking the crowd as he lifts the guitar strap over his head. As he’s setting his guitar down you recognize Lucy as she comes up to hug him, the man sitting with her follows, patting him on the shoulders with a proud smile on his face. You can’t hear what Mat’s saying but you’re pretty sure he nudges his head towards you.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we leave” you hear Olivia say, and you were hit with the reality that you’d agreed to go to the library tomorrow morning to study. Then, he’s walking your way, his eyes on the floor before he lifts his head, meeting your eyes again.
“Hey,” he says breathlessly.
“Hi,” your voice matches his, and strangely, it feels like you’re greeting an old friend.
“Can I sit?”
You nod, and he pulls up a chair. “You were-, that was great” you don’t know what else to say. He smiles, running his fingers through his hair and you wonder what it would feel like. Now that he’s closer you notice his eyes are hazel, and even in the dim light, you drown in them.
“Thanks,” he smiles.
“I’m Mat, by the way” he reaches his hand out for you to take. You give him your name, biting your lip as you take his hand. His hand wraps around yours and you feel his calloused fingertips against your skin.
“At the risk of being forward, I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink with me”
Your face falls and his confidence falters for a moment before you speak up. “I would love to, but I have an early morning and it’s getting late” you’re afraid it sounds like a silly excuse, but you can tell he doesn’t see it that way. Still, you’re quick to add, “but I’m free tomorrow afternoon.”
“Yeah?” his eyes light up and you nod.
“Wanna meet me here? at 5 - or whenever you’re free” he rambles. There’s a slight blush on his cheeks and you bite your lip before you ignore his question.
“Do you have a pen and some paper?” you ask.
He’s caught off guard, but he’s quick to reach into his jacket, pulling a small notebook and a pen from his pocket before flipping through the pages to find you a blank one. Your curiosity peaks as you get a glimpse of his scribbles, but you don’t act on the urge to check as he hands it to you. Holding back a smirk, you write down your number. Just in time, Olivia comes up next to you, her eyes drifting between the two of you as she introduces herself to Mat, who’s desperately waiting for an answer to his question.
“Are you ready to go?” she asks you, “yeah,” you say as you sign your name under your number in Mat’s book.
You slide the book over to him again, still open on the page you wrote in. As he turns it around to see what you wrote you pull on your jacket.
He looks up at you as you stand up, and just as he’s about to say you still haven't answered his question, you say, “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”. You feel your heart beating in your chest, and you’re surprised you managed to say it so smoothly. You’re surprised you’re able to stand as he smiles at you, your legs weakening at the look he gives you. You bite your lip as you wait for him to speak.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow”
Smiling at him, you resist the urge to stay as you follow Olivia out the door. You give him one last look as you walk out the door, only to find him still looking at you.
It’s Olivia’s squeal that turns your head again, and you panic to silence her, rushing her down the sidewalk.
“The look he was giving you, oh my gooood” she practically screams, “the look you were giving him too, for that matter” she lowers her voice as she nudges your shoulder.
Despite the cold air, your cheeks feel warm as you laugh at her.
You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, taking it out to check who’s messaged you this late. It’s an unknown number, but he’s signed his name at the bottom and you can’t help but squeal yourself as you show it to Olivia.
Unknown Number: How do you like your coffee? - Mat x
The first date
Mat’s nervous.
Not in the way he was when he performed his new song. Not in the way he feels when he’s about to go on a first date even - because it feels bigger than that somehow. Usually, before a date, he’s not too afraid of fucking things up, because he knows it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. But now, for some reason, he knows that if he doesn’t do it right, he’ll be missing out on something big - something important.
He’s been down in the café for half an hour already and it’s still another half hour until you’d agreed to meet. Every time the bell over the door rings he turns his head to check if it’s you, but there’s no way you’d show up so early. Lucy doesn’t know whether to laugh at him or to pat him on the shoulder, she’s never seen him so nervous. Fidgeting with his fingers, asking her if he looks alright, trying to check his reflection in the shiny coffee machine across the bar.
He checks the time once more and sighs out, he swore time was moving slower. “Can you make that coffee now?” he asks Lucy again as if you’d magically appear in front of him when everything was ready.
He’d asked Lucy to make sure there were a couple of cinnamon buns left and he wanted you to have your favorite coffee ready for when you arrived. You’d told him you were studying today and guessed you’d be tired, so he just wanted things to be perfect.
“Mat,” Lucy chuckles at him, and he raises his brow at her.
“You know if I make it now it’ll be cold by the time-“ her voice trails off as her eyes look behind him. “Never mind” she mumbles as she starts making the coffees with a smirk on her face - his eyebrows furrow in confusion. That is until he hears the bell above the door ring and he turns around to see you walk in.
You were early, maybe even embarrassingly so.
You’d gotten ready as soon as you got back from the library and you simply couldn’t wait any longer. You’d tried to sit down on the couch next to Olivia, but you kept checking the time, fidgeting around, and sighing out loud - “Just go” she had laughed at you.
So 20 minutes before you’d agreed to meet up you walk into the café, hoping to grab a coffee before Mat shows up to wake yourself up a little. Only to see him already sitting by the bar, his head turning as he hears you enter.
“Hey,” he shoots up from his seat, a nervous smile on his face matching your own.
“Hi” you breathe out, relieved to be out of the cold and happily surprised that he’s already there.
“You’re early,” he thinks out loud, his eyes drifting over your face, trying to memorize your features now that he’s seeing you in the daylight. Without a second thought, he greets you with a hug, and it’s too short for your liking. You fight the urge to hold on, the brief whiff of his perfume intoxicates you and you want nothing more than to stay wrapped up in his warm embrace. You have to shake your head to rid yourself of your thoughts, you’d only just met this man and you already felt butterflies going wild in your stomach just looking at him, surely that couldn’t be normal.
“So are you” you point out with a small laugh - looking at him just in time to see him blush. “I uh- I live close by” he scratches the back of his neck and Lucy scoffs with a playful roll of her eyes. He glances over at her, with a warning glare, though just as playful as her eye-roll. She slides over your coffees, giving you a warm smile as Mat takes them and walks over to a table with two very comfortable looking chairs.
“I live right upstairs, actually” he motions his head to the ceiling. He gently sets your cups down as you both take a seat at table 13.
“So you’re here often, then” you smile.
“You could say that” he chuckles, “I’ve never seen you in here though, I mean, before yesterday” he continues.
“Yeah, I came in here for the first time earlier this week, and someone gave me your flyer and, well” you trail off.
“It was Barry” you hear Lucy speak up, a confused laugh leaving you as you turn to look at her for a second.
“Of course it was,” Mat says back to her.
“He’s one of the regulars” Mat explains, but it doesn’t answer your internal question - why is it obvious that he’d give it to you? Mat senses your confusion and blushes again before he speaks up.
“Barry’s always telling people about my Friday night shows,” he says bashfully.
“Well, I’m glad he did” you bite your lip, your eyes shying away from his for just a moment.
Time passes as the two of you fall into conversation. Your cups empty, only to be replaced by new ones as he tells you about where he’s from. How he’d moved from Vancouver to New York five years ago into a tiny shared apartment with barely enough space for everyone who lived there. The 3 other guys in his apartment started out as strangers, but were now some of his closest friends. They were also musicians, so they’d quickly bonded when they started playing together here and there.
And he gets lost in your voice as you tell him about yourself, the smile on your lips, your laugh, the way you don’t know what to do with your hands as you tell him a story about when you and Olivia had to run for your lives to catch the last train home a few years ago - it all drew him that much closer to you.
You lose yourself in his eyes as he looks intently into yours whilst you tell him the stories - it’s not until Lucy comes over with some food for the both of you that you realize how quickly time has passed.
“How did you two meet?” you ask as Lucy sets a couple of cinnamon rolls on the table for you. Lucy’s about to speak when someone walks over to the bar to order something, “I’ve gotta-” she motions towards the bar and you nod understandingly.
“It’s pretty funny actually” Mat speaks, drawing your attention back towards him. He explains that the owner of the café and his apartment is Lucy’s dad and that they both helped him move in.
“I’d been living in this shitty apartment, you know, and it was already furnished, so I didn’t really have a lot of stuff. I had to buy a bunch of furniture when I moved out. Dan and I were scratching our heads trying to figure out how to assemble it all, and Lucy-” he nudges his head in her direction, you’re hanging onto his every word even as he laughs through them. “The IKEA genius, saved the day when she came home from school. It’s pretty funny actually - I would’ve had to sleep on the floor if it wasn’t for her”
The café has filled up with people by now, and Lucy’s heading home as coffee orders are swapped out with beer and martinis. With the noise around you, it was getting harder to hear each other, and your chairs were moving closer and closer together as time passed.
For the first time since Lucy came to the table, you check the time again. Your eyelids were getting heavy, and even though you didn’t want to leave, you had to admit you were getting tired. Mat reads you, leaning over “c’mon, I’ll walk you home” he offers.
You think of him walking you all the way home only to walk back here again in the cold alone - and no matter how much you wanted more time with him, you didn't want to feel like he had to.
“Mat, that’s sweet, but you don’t have to-”
“Please, I want to” he doesn’t want the date to end either, he rarely ever feels so comfortable around someone so fast as he does with you. Whenever that happens and whoever it’s happened with before, they’ve always ended up being important to him. And he didn’t care if he had to walk a few blocks away and then back again in the cold if it meant he got to spend just a few more minutes with you.
“Thank you” You give him a soft smile, putting on your jacket and following his lead out of the café. He opens the door for you and you wait a moment for him to step next to you before you continue down the street.
A comfortable silence falls between the two of you, the distant noises of a Saturday night is the only thing filling the cold air. As you meet a couple going the opposite way, Mat steps closer to you to let them pass and you feel his hand brush against yours. Your cheeks warm at the feeling as you look down at your hands, his touch feels electric and it sets off a spark in your body. The other couple has passed you by now but he doesn’t step away, instead, his fingers search for yours. His touch is a question and you answer it by intertwining your fingers with his.
You look up at him to see him looking at you, biting his lips, his cheeks rosy as he squeezes your hand as if to say thank you.
Once you see your apartment building you’re almost tempted to walk around in a circle, to draw out the time, but you come to a stop outside your door with a bittersweet feeling.
“When can I see you again?” he instantly asks once he realizes you’ve arrived.
“I’m free on Wednesday” you’d checked your schedule before the date, hoping that it would go well. But really, he’d blown past every expectation and you felt like a teenager, wanting to skip out on your classes so you could see him sooner.
“Meet me at the café again? I’ll be around there all day, so come whenever you want” he rambles.
“Okay,” you smile, squeezing his hand hoping it reassures him.
You take the smallest step backward, reluctant to go into your building, your fingers slide from his just the tiniest bit before he grasps them again. He’s pulling you to him, carefully, testing the waters. “I had a really great time tonight” he murmurs, and your breath hitches in your throat at how close he is now.
“Me too” you find your voice, eyes dropping to his parted lips as he leans a little closer. Your free hand finds his waist, as his moves to cup your cheek. You close your eyes and shy away from the cold touch with a small laugh.
“That’s cold” you hum.
“Sorry” his voice is soft as he lets out a small chuckle and you lean into his touch again as you open your eyes. He’s looking at your lips, and he really, really wants to kiss you right now.
“Then kiss me,” you say and he realizes he said it out loud.
His forehead presses against yours, your cold noses touch, eyes fluttering shut. You feel his breath as his lips brush against yours and you grip his waist, bringing him closer, his lips finally against yours.
That spark in your body ignites and the fire warms you up from within as your lips move together. And you kiss and kiss and kiss until you run out of air and wide smiles take over your faces. His nose nudges against yours and you give his lips another peck before leaning back in his embrace.
“Let me know when you’re back home?” Your question warms his heart and he nods - ”I will” he promises, pressing his lips against your one final time, savoring it before he lets you go. His hand lingers in yours as he slowly steps back the way you came, and they stay intertwined until the distance between you pulls them apart.
He keeps walking backward, his eyes on yours as you huff out a laugh when he stumbles a little. He turns around then and gives you one last soft smile over his shoulder as you walk up to your entrance.
You start getting ready for bed the moment you get in, Olivia is already in her room, but you have no doubt she’ll ask you about your night the moment she sees you. Your night plays over and over in your head on a loop and it’s a movie you’ll never get tired of seeing.
Mat’s damn near skipping on his way home, wearing a smile he knows must look ridiculous to anyone passing, but he still feels your touch on his hand, on his lips and it’s all he can think about.
Your phone buzzes just as you come out of your bathroom, and you check the message just as you hear Olivia's bedroom door open, peeking her head out with a tired but expectant look on her face. You reread the message with a smile on your face as you nudge your head towards the couch as if to tell her “you’re gonna want to sit down for this one.”
Mat: I’m home Mat: Can’t wait to see you on Wednesday x
The second date
He hasn’t left your mind, not for a day, an hour, or a minute.
You were one step away from drawing silly doodles in your textbook about him in your classes, and it was painfully obvious to you how fast you’d connected.
What didn’t help is that he was texting you, every day.
Because you hadn’t left his mind either.
When he was listening to music he wanted to know what music you listened to. When he was watching a movie he wanted to know if you’d watched it or if you’d like it. When the sunshine poured in through his window he wondered what you’d look like covered in the golden light.
The café was quiet this early on a Wednesday, Mat had been keeping Lucy company since they opened, writing songs on the bar as she cleaned the coffee machine 5 times just to have something to do.
You’d let him know you’d be there around 12, right in time for lunch. You took your time in the morning, deciding to do some reading for one of your classes, but ending up reading the same sentence three times because your mind was elsewhere. Each time you finished a paragraph you’d check the time to see if you should leave soon.
A few minutes after 11:30 you decided to just go, going to the bathroom to check your appearance one last time before heading to the door. You don’t even put on your jacket properly before leaving, locking the door before heading down the stairs - clumsily sliding your arms into the sleeves on your way down to the exit. The air was colder than you expected and for a second you debate going back up for a scarf, but you decide against it, wrapping your arms around yourself instead.
Mat’s filled up more pages than he can count in his notebook since your date, and he’s so wrapped up in it that he doesn’t even notice the time passing him by - doesn’t register the rare few times the bell over the door rings and doesn’t realize you’ve arrived until he hears your voice.
“Hey” you breathe out, making his head shoot up. Lucy greets you before he finds his voice, offering you a coffee as he takes you in.
“Hi” he finally says, writing one last thing in his book before marking his page and closing it.
Lucy turns around to make your coffee as he stands up. You’re about to shrug your jacket off when he steps to you, cupping your cheeks gently before kissing you. Though he caught you by surprise, you don’t hesitate to kiss him back, your hands sliding up to his shoulders.
It’s when Lucy clears her throat that he pulls away, a blush on his cheeks as he avoids her eyes, scratching his neck. You’re left with warm cheeks and goosebumps, speechless - having to shake yourself out of it before taking your coffee from Lucy, a small embarrassed “thank you,” leaving you.
The two of you order food before sitting down at the same table you sat at on Saturday, his hand finding yours across the table. Before lunch, you catch up on the little things you hadn’t already spoken about over text since last time. By the time food comes he mentions that he’d spoken to his family the night before and you notice the tiniest hint of sadness in his tone.
“Do you miss them?” you ask, feeling a bit stupid, of course he misses them.
“Yeah” he sighs.
“I talk to them a lot though, but it’s not the same. I’m super happy that they call me when they get together, but I just feel like I’m missing out on their lives sometimes” he pauses for a moment, “I’m super grateful for FaceTime, don’t get me wrong” he laughs a humorless laugh, “but it’s not the same at all, you know?”
You squeeze his hand - “it’s like they’re with you, but not really” you say, and he knows you understand what he means as he looks into your eyes.
“I don’t know what I would do without Dan and Lucy, to be honest - probably drift away” he smiles, glancing over at Lucy who was now cleaning the fridge doors. And you hum, “my roommate is my anchor” you laugh.
“Yeah?” he asks, a small smile on his face
“She’s a pain sometimes, but I’d be lost without her”
“Any friend you live with is a pain sometimes” he laughs, thinking back to when he lived with his friends. Sure, they were loud and way too messy, but sometimes he missed having someone around to keep him company. He used to go to Daniel’s for dinner a lot, but he’d been so busy lately and Mat didn’t want to impose.
The bell over the door rings again, making you both look over. A man walks in, waving casually at Mat before doing a double-take, turning to walk over to your table.
He speaks your name enthusiastically and you’re confused as to who this man is and why he knows your name. He holds his hand out to you and now that he’s closer you think you might recognize him from the concert, if you were to guess you’d say that this is-
“I’m Daniel, so nice to meet you” he smiles, shaking your hand.
“Nice to meet you too” you smile back, feeling slightly accomplished that you’d guessed right.
He looks between the two of you, “I’ve got to work a little, but you two have a lovely date.”
He walks over to Lucy and you hear them talking about getting some things from storage before his voice picks up again. “Mat, can you keep an eye on the bar for me? Call me if anyone comes in?”
“Of course” Mat smiles.
You’re left alone in the café as they walk into the kitchen. There seems to be something on Mat’s mind and before you can ask him, he’s standing up, pulling you with him.
You’d taken his breath away when he first saw you, but being around you now, he felt like he could truly breathe. Like that first breath of fresh air after being stuck inside a stuffy room, or a cool breeze on a hot day. He felt like he could be himself completely, he could tell you his highs and lows without filtering out any details, and you’d listen to him.
“Can I play you something?” he asks, walking you over to the piano.
As he sits down, he makes room for you on the bench too - patting the spot to urge you to sit down.
“One of your songs?” you hope.
“Yeah, it’s uh- the one I was playing when you walked in on Friday”
A shiver runs down your spine as you think back to it. And you're left with your mouth gaping as he continues to speak.
“I’d written it the night before, and I didn’t know why or who it was about. When you walked in it was like I found the missing puzzle piece, and fuck- it sounds weird but-”
You kiss him.
Threading your fingers through his hair on instinct, as he hums into the kiss.
“I’ve felt those words in my bones since I heard you sing them, Mat. Please, sing it to me again” you murmur against his lips.
His lips find yours again, softly, before he speaks - “okay”
You lean your head on his shoulder as his fingers brush over the keys on the piano.
Closing your eyes as the first note fills the room, his voice finds its way into your soul as he opens his heart to you, for you. You meet his eyes for a moment seeing his emotions painted on them, hearing them laced into the words, hiding between each note. He knows you’re the one the song is about, he knew the moment he saw you, but he’s finally admitted it to himself. And the way you look at him only confirms it. Since he met you his chest hasn’t felt so heavy, his morning headaches were gone, they’d been replaced by you - images of your face, the memory of your voice, your laugh, they all played through in his mind. Grounding him.
A Home
My muse ❤️: My place at 5 tomorrow?
He’d been staring at the text you sent him yesterday for who knows how long. It’s been four days since he saw you last, four days since he sang to you, four days since he kissed you. He’d walked you home that day too, held your hand again, drawn out your goodbye as he pressed his lips to yours again and again.
He’d opened up to you last time, with the smallest fear that it was too much, that he’d scare you away. He was left in awe to see you inviting him into your space now. He’d typed out several replies yesterday before finally settling on one.
I’ll see you then! Need me to bring anything? x
My muse ❤️: No, don’t worry x
You’d answered him straight away, but now that he was searching for any type of clue in your previous messages he still had no idea what you’d planned for him. Locking his phone and looking back into the mirror he hoped the casual outfit he’d gone for was appropriate for whatever occasion. He runs his fingers through his hair a few more times before walking out of his bathroom to get a jacket before making his way over to your place. He follows his mom's advice and stops to get you something, even though you said he didn’t have to.
You’d been a bit bold inviting two people you barely knew into your home, but the short amount of time you’d now spent with Lucy and Daniel had shown you how good they were. When you’d walked into the café the other day asking if they had time for dinner anytime soon they’d been nothing but polite and eager to find a day that fit. As Lucy got someone to cover her shift, Sunday worked out perfectly.
Biting your lip, you hope Mat will like the surprise you planned for him.
When you saw how much he missed his family and felt how much it was affecting him, you just wanted to do something to show him that you cared. And you thought inviting his little world into yours would at least be a good place to start.
Dinner was just about ready. Daniel and Lucy had both politely offered to help and even though you insisted they didn’t have to, they didn’t listen. Lucy prepared the side salad, Daniel prepped the vegetables, while you prepared the meat, and Olivia had made some dessert earlier in the day so she was currently sitting drinking some wine by the dining table. You had all finished in no time, and now you were just waiting for the vegetables to finish cooking - and for Mat to show up.
Just a few moments after your doorbell rang, the timer for the oven went off too, as if on cue. Daniel winked at you as he went to the door, pressing the button to open the door downstairs before waiting for Mat by the door. You quickly got the vegetables out of the oven so you could catch Mat’s reaction when he saw Daniel opening your door.
He barely even gets to knock once before Daniel opens the door - the confused look on his face is priceless. Everyone else comes into his view and he’s not sure where to look, he’s never seen your apartment before, and to see two very familiar faces standing in it threw him off, but he couldn’t be happier.
“Dan- What are you two doing here?” he laughs, looking between Daniel and Lucy, before giving them both a quick hug with one arm. You notice he’s holding something behind his back with his other hand as you step towards them.
“Same as you,” Daniel replies.
He greets Olivia quickly too before you reach them. Everyone else moves back towards the kitchen as you step over to Mat, soft smiles on each of your faces. He reveals a paper bag with some flowers sticking out, holding it out for you in the space between your bodies. At first, you think it’s a bouquet, but you soon realize as you take it in your hands that it’s a potted plant.
You meet his eyes, you’re about to thank him when he pulls you in by your waist for a kiss. It’s short and sweet but it still makes your head spin, “they’re hydrangeas” he nods his head towards the flowers. “Thank you, they’re lovely” you kiss his cheek before stepping away from him - another kiss on his soft lips might have sent you spiraling.
“Please come in, take a seat” you smile, gesturing towards the table that was now set and ready for you all to eat as the others had made everything ready while the two of you were in your sweet little bubble.
You put the flowerpot in the kitchen, admiring his choice for a moment - wondering how he picked just the right colors to go with your apartment.
“Get over here, we’re hungry” Olivia urges you, tapping her fingers at the table. “For someone who’s late to everything, you sure are impatient” you tease her as you make your way to the table, sitting down next to Mat.
“Hey, I was early to this” she argues.
You’re about to open your mouth when Lucy speaks up - “you live here”
The whole table, including Olivia, break out a laugh and you smile at Lucy, “I was just about to say that”
You all settle down and start passing the food around to each other, keeping the small talk up as you all eat, your plates emptying slowly.
Mat takes a moment to take in the scene before him, how comfortable Lucy seemed talking to you and Olivia, how you genuinely laughed at one of Daniel’s awful jokes, how you all forgot to eat because you were too busy getting to know each other. He’s broken out of his thought as your hand comes to rest on his thigh.
“Hey, you alright?” you speak so only he can hear, your eyes intently watching him. He takes your hand in his, raising it to his lips with a soft smile as he presses a kiss to your knuckles.
“I’m perfect - this is perfect”
Without even realizing, you’d reminded him that he has a family here in New York too, and now it has grown to fit you and Olivia. And as he sat at your dining table next to you he felt like he was home.
The Weekend
Friday
The next couple of weeks flew by, and you and Mat spent as much time together as you could. You’d gone for walks, had dinner together a few more times, you’d spent the day with him studying at table 13 while he wrote songs - your feet next to his thighs in his chair, his hand coming down to rub your leg comfortingly whenever she heard you sigh deeply or saw you tense up.
A month has gone by since you first met him and Mat has another show tonight. After a day of classes, you were finally free to go get ready, pull on your favorite outfit, and pack an overnight bag.
The bag was open, standing on your bed - empty. You’d gone through all your drawers, and you had no idea what to bring. Nothing felt right, and you couldn’t really afford to go and buy something either. You were about to spend the weekend at his place, and if that wasn’t enough on its own, his old roommates were coming over on Saturday.
As if Olivia could sense your troubles from the other room, she comes in and plops down on the bed next to the bag, eyeing it.
“Pack that set, you know, the one with the-”
“Isn’t it a bit much?”
She laughs, “I don’t think he’ll complain - but pack a back-up too, then, if it eases your mind”
She got up and started going through your stuff, picking out a couple of items and throwing them haphazardly on your bed. You rushed over, glaring at her as you picked up whatever she threw, folding it nicely again before packing it in your bag.
Mat was pacing in his room.
Not because he was nervous about adding a few new songs in his set tonight - No, he felt perfectly confident about them. And not because you were meeting his friends either, he knew they’d love you. But you were spending the weekend at his place, and while you’d been to his place before, you’d never stayed over.
He’d cleaned and tidied, then cleaned some more, remade his bed about ten times. He knew his buddies would note that it was uncharacteristically clean - he could hear their chirps in his head already. But, now he was running out of time. You’d be at his place any second now, to leave your bags there before you headed down to the café.
His eyes scanned his room one more time before he sighs out, putting his hands on his waist, running his fingers through his hair before pulling himself away and into the living room to wait for you.
He doesn’t have to wait long, but it feels like forever as his eyes are glued to the clock. He shoots up the second his doorbell rings, and runs out his door and down the stairs to meet you.
The second you’re in his view his whole body relaxes, breath evening out, but his heartbeat picks up. He’s dragging you in before you can even say anything - his hand on your cheek as he leads your lips to his in a kiss that makes you drop your bags on the floor, your arms going around his neck, fingers finding his hair. He smiles, breaking away - bumping his nose against yours softly.
“Hi,” you say in unison.
Your fingers linger in his hair as you lean back to look at him, “you nervous for tonight?” you ask.
“For the concert?” he asks, a small laugh huffing out.
You nod, watching him intently as he leans into your touch.
“No, not for that” his words make you furrow your brows, a smile still present on your lips
“What do you mean, not for that?”
He glances down at your overnight bags, giving himself away.
“Me too, a little bit” you admit.
“I don’t even know why, you just- It’s like I feel everything so much more when I’m with you, and sometimes when you look at me I can’t even think straight, but it’s also like I’ve never seen so clearly, never been more sure at the same ti-”
You can’t help but kiss him.
The way his brows move and how he pouts his lips slightly when he’s not sure what to say before he rambles on, too cute to resist. He hums into the kiss, pulling you closer again, breaking away with a slightly embarrassed laugh.
“You’re like never not on my mind, Barzy”
He kisses you again before he moves to grab your bags for you, a clever look in his eyes as he opens his mouth - “you should be the songwriter, not me” he teases,
You bump your hip against his, rolling your eyes, making him stumble a bit - playfully giving you glare before walking up the stairs. “I personally think Never Not On My Mind would be a great song” you argue playfully.
He has just enough time to show you around his apartment before the two of you have to go down to the café to meet Daniel and Lucy. He grabs his guitar in one hand, intertwining his fingers with yours with the other.
There’s already a fair few people there as you enter, the lot of them all greeting Mat and he awkwardly raises his guitar to greet them back, refusing to let go of your hand.
He only lets go as you get to your table, greeting Daniel and Lucy properly with a hug as you do the same. He gives you one last kiss before he gets up on stage to set up and start his soundcheck.
In the corner of your eye, you see Daniel looking at you, you can’t quite read his look, so you raise a brow and hum quizzically.
“He looks happy” Daniel nudges his head towards Mat, making you look over at him. As if he senses you looking at him he lifts his head and meets your eyes, a few strands of hair covering his forehead.
“You both do” he continues.
So much has changed in a month and you’re looking at him with new eyes. And he’s looking back at you with a new set of eyes himself. You’d never felt like you were strangers, and to think that a month ago you didn’t even know of him seemed crazy to you both. But, here you were - not thinking straight, but still seeing so clearly.
Mat was excited. Not just to play his new songs, but he felt like his old songs had been given new life, and he was itching to start plucking at the strings on his guitar - to let the words flow into the room, to finally play them to you properly.
He’d shared snippets with you, sending you short audio files or snaps of him singing, showing you lyrics as he wrote them down in his book. But they were small puzzle pieces and you had no idea what the puzzle looked like.
You’d lost yourself in the music last time, but this time - you found yourself. Small hints of you and him scattered around in his words. It’s all a whirlwind in your head until he plays the final note of the final song and the room erupts in applause.
The rest of the world fades out again as soon it faded in when he strides over to you, wrapping his arms around you, spinning you around - a surprised laugh leaving you.
You stay with Daniel and Lucy for a while after, and you watch him with proud eyes as people come up to him, telling him how much they liked his show. Barry, from your first day in the café, comes up saying he was going to tell everyone he knew about the new songs. You both listen intently as he goes on about the chord progressions and the symbolism in the lyrics.
When your eyelids start feeling heavy, you leave and Lucy comes with as Daniel stays to help close up. You say goodnight to Lucy with tired voices, Mat makes sure she gets home safe even though she lives only seconds away in the same building.
As you get ready for bed, the two nervous people from earlier seem like a distant memory. You move around each other like it’s second nature. Sharing smiles in his bathroom mirror as you brush your teeth side by side, hips bumping into each other playfully. Toothpaste dribbling down his chin as he tries not to laugh, making you spit out into the sink, doubling down in laughter.
Your heartbeat rises as you step into his bedroom, your movements slow as you start to undress. Eyes glued on each other as you take this next step in your relationship. As each layer is peeled off, and your skin is almost bare apart from your underwear, you freeze - taking a moment to really see one another.
Goosebumps form on your arms as the chilly air of his room brushes against your skin. As your arms wrap around yourself to stay warm, he steps closer to you, his hands sliding up from your elbows to your shoulders - his touch warming you instantly. You loosen your arms, fingertips curiously moving across his bare chest, eyes dancing across his skin.
Your lips meet his as your bodies tangle together, breaths mixing, fingers exploring, hearts melting. You fall into the softness of his bedsheets - your body on fire under his touch, his skin burning from yours.
As you drift away wrapped up in each other, sleep taking over your bodies, you’ve never been more content.
Saturday
You drift in and out of sleep in the morning, his arm draped over your waist, keeping you in bed. When you wake up completely, you still stay - basking in the feeling of the warm skin of his chest against your back, his breath on your neck, your fingers tracing patterns on his arm.
He groans in protest when you move, trying to keep you still, but you manage to turn in his arms to face him. His eyes are still closed, breath still heavy as your fingertips trace his pink lips. The move to his nose, moving over his profile as you admire his sleeping form. It’s when you run your fingers through his hair that he nuzzles into your touch - finally stirring from his sleep.
His eyes are still closed as he drags you on top of him, “let’s just stay here, yeah?” his groggy voice sends shivers through your body and you can’t protest - sighing as his lips kiss down your neck.
You don’t get out of bed until your stomachs beg you to, and it’s a slow morning on the couch as you wait for his friends to come over.
Mat’s hesitant to move as his doorbell rings, but you urge him to go open and let them in. You follow after him, a few steps behind as he lets them in.
Anthony, Jordan, and Anders all walk in with smirks on their faces as they scan the room. They look back at Mat and before they can even open their mouths he speaks up - “don’t even say it” he warns, making them chuckle.
“Love what you’ve done with the place” Jordan teases.
“Yeah, so clean,” Anders adds.
“And tidy,” Anthony nods, snickering.
Their eyes then fall on you as Anders speaks your name - “nice to finally meet you” they all agree, patting Mat on his shoulder as they walk into his apartment. They all introduce themselves to you and you repeat their familiar names in your head, trying to connect them to their unfamiliar faces. If it weren’t for Mat’s hand on the small of your back you know you’d feel a bit overwhelmed.
Before you know it you’re gathered around Mat’s living room table, filling your stomachs with the pizza you ordered, the boys trying not to talk through their chewing as they catch up by telling you all sorts of stories, mostly embarrassing ones on Mat’s behalf.
Mat doesn’t mind though as he laughs along, even adding details that the guys forgot with a loud cackle.
You clear the pizza boxes away as the guys find their instruments, and you beam at the thought of getting to be a fly on the wall as they play after having heard Mat talk about it so much. Though as you sit down, they don’t go into a world of your own as you’d expected, you’re pulled into it as they start with a “guess the song” game for you.
Anthony starts off by playing a familiar bass line on his acoustic bass guitar, that you recognize instantly, “oh! Another one bites the dust” the words stumble out of your lips, making Mat chuckle at your eagerness
When Anders gives you a beat on his cajón you have no idea what he’s playing, but as soon as Jordan joins in you can’t help but snort out a laugh as you recognize the melody to Wonderwall - and they laugh as you try to speak up through your laugh.
It’s Mat’s turn and he smiles at you before he starts strumming his guitar, you look around and everyone’s brows are furrowed at first, but it doesn’t take long for the others to pick up what song it is. You’re still lost, however, racking your brain to try to figure it out, you know you’ve heard it and you swear the answer is on the tip of your tongue. When Mat gives you another look, you know what to guess - although you’re not certain.
“Are you- is this Nickelback?” you laugh, squinting your eyes at him, making Mat stop altogether, giving you an amused look.
“Yes, this is Nickelback” his serious expression makes you snort out another laugh, having too fun to even care about how it’s the second snort-laugh of the night, but probably not the last.
“I’m a Nickelback fan and I’m proud of it, babe,” he says straight-faced, before starting the song again, his movements exaggerated as he starts singing too.
As you try to hold your laugh everyone else jumps in singing the lyrics to Rockstar to you. As the chorus comes near you decide to say fuck it, and belt out the lyrics with them - cheers going around the room before the song continues.
You’re out of breath by the time the song finishes and your face hurts from smiling so much, stomach aches from laughing. Mat sets down his guitar next to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him - kissing the side of your head.
You brush your hand up his side, the fabric of his t-shirt moving as your fingers move underneath it, tickling his skin, but he doesn’t shy away from your touch as you move your head to kiss the first spot of his skin you can see - a shiver running down his spine as your lips touch the nape of his neck.
He wants to play that moment on a loop on his head, but Anthony laughing at something Jordan said drags him out of it - “I’ll never forget when you sang that at karaoke that one night”
“Not my best performance” Mat laughs.
“I beg to differ” Anthony chirps.
It gets late quicker than you want it to, and before you know it you’re hugging Mat’s friends goodbye, wishing them safe travels home. You start to tidy, but Mat brushes your hands away, pulling you to him - “we’ll worry about that tomorrow” he says before lifting you, wrapping your legs around his waist, capturing your lips as he carries you to his bed.
Sunday
On Sunday Mat wakes up before the sun - if he’d been alone he would have shot up out of bed and grabbed his guitar frantically before the lyrics from his dream slipped out of his mind. But you’re here, and he doesn’t want to wake you, and he knows that all he has to do if he forgets the words is to look at you and they’ll come back to him. So he carefully raises your arm around his waist and sneaks out of bed, his feet padding across his floor to grab his guitar and notebook. He gently sits down at the edge of the bed - laying his phone next to him to record.
You’re woken up as the first light of the day peeks through his windows, bed sheets wrapped around you like a warm hug, his t-shirt soft against your skin.
It’s the sound of his soft humming and the gentle strums of his guitar that wakes you, and you stay quiet as you glance at him sitting on the edge of his bed. You try to piece together what he’s singing, but it’s too hushed - as if he didn’t want you to hear. Your curiosity gets the best of you as you fold away his sheets to sneak up to him, resting your chin on his shoulder, making him stop altogether to look at you - turning slightly to get a better view.
“‘Morning” he smiles.
“How long have you been awake?”
He huffs, squinting his eyes, “uuuh, not sure - you sleep well, baby?”
You nod, leaning in to kiss his lips, humming into the kiss, treading your fingers into his hair. You kiss his cheek before making yourself comfortable behind him.
“What are you writing about?” your eyes scan the scribbles in his notebook.
“You,”
Your heart swells, hiding your face in his neck - “me?”
His hand softly urges you to look at him again, “I’m always writing about you.”
A breath hitches in your throat, his eyes never wavering from yours. “Play it for me?” you kiss the spot where his shoulder meets his neck. He nods as you nuzzle into his neck, taking a breath as his fingers find the right grip.
I've been sittin' here, tryna figure out What did I do right to be with you right now?
Worlds Colliding
My Love 💕: I’ll pick you up at 6 x
You checked his text for the tenth time, to be absolutely sure of when he was coming.
“Breathe” Olivia laughs out, looking at you bouncing your leg, your shoulders tense as your nervousness consumes you.
Mat’s arriving in 5 minutes.
Mat’s arriving in 5 minutes and you’re going to a restaurant.
Mat’s arriving in 5 minutes and you’re going to a restaurant with his mom and dad and sister, where you would have dinner with his mom and dad and sister.
This was big, and no matter how many times Mat reassured you that his family would like you, it didn’t ease your mind all too much. Before you can even fill your lungs with air, the doorbell rings and you look over at Olivia desperately, desperate for your nerves to ease, desperate to crawl into a hole and hide.
Of course he’s early.
“Breathe,” she says again, “they are going to love you, you have nothing to worry about”.
You focus all you can on taking one deep breath before standing up, taking another deep breath before you make your way to the door.
Mat stands outside your door, Liana pokes his side in excitement as they wait for you. She jumps when the door cracks open and pushes her brother aside to hug you, which you welcome without a second thought. And just like that, your nerves are gone, his parents meet you with warm hugs too before Mat can even speak up to introduce you all.
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you, we’ve heard a lot about you” his mom, Nadia, beams and his dad, Mike, nods along. “He doesn’t shut up about you” his sister pipes in, hoping to make him blush, but he just smiles and nods to confirm when you look at him. You smile warmly at him, taking his hand that he offers before turning back towards his family - “I’ve heard so much about you too, feels like I already know you”. He squeezes your hand, “should we get going?”
There’s a chorus of you all agreeing and Mat kisses you softly - you don’t notice his mom emotionally clutching her chest at the sight, pulling herself together as Mat starts leading the way as his sister asks about the menu.
Before you know it you’re sat around a table, eyes scanning the menu for what to eat as you make conversation.
“We’re sad we couldn’t come to catch one of his shows, hearing his new songs over the phone isn’t quite the same as hearing them in person,” his dad says.
“And there are a lot of them too,” his mom adds, with a gleam in her eye.
“I think he’s found some inspiration” his sister, sitting next to you, bumps her shoulder softly against yours.
“You could say that” there’s a gleam in Mat’s eyes when he focuses on you.
As you get to know them more you see little pieces from his family that Mat has brought with him to New York - his dad’s competitiveness, his mom’s kindness, and his sister’s ambition. Your heart warms, seeing Mat around his family, so much love in his eyes. You’d always understood why he missed his family, but seeing first hand how close they all were you had to keep yourself from getting lost in a bittersweet feeling - focusing on here and now instead.
“He was so energetic as a kid - when he was seven months old he was running around the house, and we had to cut bedsheets and tie them around him” Nadia looks at her son fondly, as he shrugs, scratching his neck as he laughs.
“Once he got a little keyboard for his birthday it all changed though - he was still energetic, don’t get me wrong, but he put all his energy into music,” Mike tells you.
“Oh yeah, I’ve seen the garage band photos” you laugh, looking at Liana.
“Oh, he told you how he made me stand there, singing back-up as our neighbors walked past”
“Made you, eh?” Mat scoffs out a laugh, “pretty sure you liked the attention more than I did”
She pokes her tongue out at him and he returns the favor.
The conversation shifts as Mat asks how things are at home, and they all update him on all the small and big changes that have happened since he was last there. This store closed, this store opened, their neighbor got a small dog, so and so got married. They explain who’s who to you as they go along talking about life in Coquitlam.
“You should come visit sometime,” Liana exclaims.
“Mat usually comes home around May, you’re more than welcome to come with” his mom adds.
“You’ve got finals in May, no?” Mat asks, and you nod.
“Yeah, so we’d have to come after those” his hand rubs your shoulder as he looks at you - “if you want to of course”
“I’d love to” you squeeze Mat’s thigh before turning towards his family - “we’ll definitely come to visit after my finals”
You all walk slowly on the way home, planning out the rest of their week here. When you reach your door they all give you and Mat some space, because even though you’re going to see each other tomorrow, kiss each other tomorrow, you can never get enough.
You spend the rest of the night talking to Olivia about them - and they spend the rest of theirs talking about you.
“Then I Met You”
Mat had written so many songs, he had enough for a whole album and then some. He’d filled out his notebook and then another one and another one. He’d gotten some help from Anthony, Jordan, and Anders - recording demos whenever you were busy. They were helping him out tonight for his Friday night show too, and you had no idea.
He wanted to surprise you.
You’d already heard most of the songs, he couldn’t help himself there, but he’d managed to keep a couple to himself. And you’d only heard the others when it was just him and his guitar - which never failed to give you goosebumps and it never felt like anything was missing to you. But with the help of his friends, every feeling in the songs had been amplified, and he couldn’t wait to play them for you.
You and Olivia were meeting him at the café, you’d been busy studying all day - now currently rushing to be there early even though Lucy and Daniel were holding seats for you at the front. Olivia had surprised you as she was ready to leave only a second after you were, seeming just as eager to get there as you - you were too rushed to notice the secretive smile on her face.
Mat’s setting up the stage when you get there, but your attention is pulled away from him as you hear a familiar voice yell your name. Olivia is already on her way over to your table as you turn your head towards the noise.
Mat’s head picks up, just in time to see you hug Anthony, a surprised but pleased look on your face as you notice Jordan and Anders too. “What are you guys doing here?”
“At the bar? Getting drinks”
“In general? We’re playing” Anders points towards Mat, a drink in both his hands.
“What?” you smile, looking over at Mat, who’s got a smirk on his face which only widens when you make your way over.
Only then do you notice how the stage is set up with more instruments than usual - “You’re getting the band back together?”
He laughs, “surprise” his words end up sounding like a question as he drops what he’s doing to meet you with a kiss.
Olivia comes up and introduces herself to the other guys, and you overhear her talking about how hard it was for her to keep this secret from you. “Makes sense now” you muse and Mat raises his brows as he takes a sip from the drink Anders brought him. “I was a bit suspicious of how early Olivia was ready to leave” you add and Mat has to stop himself from laughing mid-sip.
You give him one more kiss for good luck and sit down at your table with Lucy, Daniel, and Olivia. You all make small talk until you hear Mat’s signature the-show’s-about-to-start throat clear, watching the lights in the café dim a little.
“We’ve got a couple more people on stage tonight, if you didn’t notice” the crowd laughs at his silly joke. As he introduces everyone it takes you back to the evening in the living room, how carefree he seems, comfortable - made for this. And they haven’t even started yet.
“We’ve got a whole new set tonight, and I hope you’ll like it - This first song is called Table 13” he turns his head towards you, winking. Your cheeks flush with warmth as a few eyes drift towards you - as if they didn’t all know that you were dating.
“It’s about someone very dear to me, well they’re all about her, but this one’s about our first date” he starts strumming and the rest of the band joins in. You’re left speechless as the set goes on, every song you hear is your new favorite. You’re in awe of him and his talent, and he can’t take his eyes off of you.
He feels alive, on fire - as long as he feels like this whenever he’s playing, he doesn't care anymore, he doesn’t feel stuck anymore. He could play in this café for the rest of his life as long as you were there with him - he doesn’t need the label and the fame and the tour, he just needs you.
You hadn’t fixed him, but you’d given him the tools to do it himself and stood by his side while he did so.
The set is a journey - the story of you and Mat. The band is one with the music and they’re dragging you all with them. Images of your time together flash vividly through your mind as Mat sings the words that are meant for you and you only, and he’s glowing.
After the last note on the last song the crowd breaks out in applause, the rest of the band comes to the front of the stage to thank the crowd. But Mat’s eyes stay on yours as you stand up with the rest of the crowd.
In that moment your hearts pour out and melt together into one.
He can’t wait any longer, stepping off the stage, wrapping his arms around you, laughing into your lips as the cheers grow when he kisses you, you don’t care how sweaty his neck is as you grab him to keep him there just a little longer.
As always, you all stay behind, moving a table and some chairs over to yours to fit the whole band. Mat’s mid-story when Barry comes over to the table, a stranger standing next to him. Mat stands up to meet them both.
“Great show as always, Mathew” he shakes his hand.
“Thank you” Mat smiles
“I want you to meet my friend, Gwen,” Barry continues.
“Loved the show- you don’t happen to have any demos?”
Mat nods, “yeah, we- uh- we have some demos” he briefly looks over at the band. He's a little confused, his mind wants to travel to a hopeful place, but he doesn’t quite let it just yet.
“Great!” Gwen reaches into her purse, pulling out a business card. “Why don’t you contact me, I might know some people who’ll be interested in hearing it” there’s a gleam in her eye as she hands the card over to Mat
Without even looking at the card Mat says, “Thank you, absolutely I will”
“Enjoy the rest of your night” Barry winks at him before they both make their way out.
You’re quick to jump out of your seat, going over to your boyfriend who’s stuck in his spot, staring down at the card in his hand. He almost can’t believe what he’s seeing, but as you stand next to him, your hand wrapping around his bicep you mumble the words on the card, he knows it’s real.
Someone from a record company had seen the show.
Someone from a record company had seen the show and they wanted him to contact them so they could hear his demos.
“Baby, I’m so proud of you” your voice shakes him out of his own head. And he’s a little overwhelmed as he looks over at you.
“None of this- I swear, none of this would be possible without you.” he rushes, pressing his lips hard against yours. You wrap your arms over his shoulders and he presses his forehead against yours, noses brushing against each other. As you tug on his hair at the nape of his neck he leans back, needing to get something off his chest.
“I felt stuck and then I met you and you broke me loose. I was longing for something-, someone and then I met you” he catches his breath, his thumb caressing your cheek as he looks ardently into your eyes - “I love you- so much”
Your eyes tear up, and you don’t hesitate to say, “I love you more”
“Not possible” he laughs, leaning in again.
Epilogue
His hand is in yours as you walk down the broad hallway, following a man in a snapback. The noise around you, though muffled, is loud and a bit overwhelming. Your hearts are racing as you get closer and closer, the noise growing louder and louder.
Everyone you pass, reach their hand out and Mat bumps his fist against theirs as he passes, a small laugh leaving him.
You follow the snapback man and walk through an open door, the noise is almost too loud for you to hear each other now, but as he embraces you in a hug, his lips to your ear, you hear him loud and clear.
“I love you most”
“I love you mostest” you giggle.
You hold on to him still as you give him his good luck kiss, before he and his band are rushed out onto the stage. Tens of thousands of screams grow even louder as they come into their view.
He starts plucking on his guitar, his eyes scanning the crowd as he takes it all in with a deep breath. He turns his head to find you again, and the noise of the crowd fades away when he sees you.
Then it’s as if you’re back in the café, just the two of you.
The smile you share is like a secret you share that no one else knows - I love you, I’m so proud of you.
268 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 16: Prinxiety
@tsshipmonth2020
Heeey, look at that, I’m behind! Day 16: When your soulmate listens to music, you hear it in your own head as well.
Content warnings: assumed death of a soulmate (he’s not dead), depression, general sad vibes.
Word count: 2.6k
Note: the songs referenced in this fic are IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 and Love is Gone by SLANDER. Both of these songs make me cry and were the inspiration for this.
It was at midnight on December 19th when Roman’s soulmark first appeared. He didn’t realize this until 1am.
Granted, he didn’t know it was his soulmark for the first hour.
At first, the almost imperceptible steady beat in his head just seemed like a song that had gotten stuck in there. He didn’t remember ever hearing the song, but it wasn’t unlikely that he’d heard the tune at the store or on the radio and it unconsciously ingrained itself into his memory. He was working on an assignment that was due in the morning, a script analysis for one of his Theatre courses, and had begun to bop his head along to the music when his roommate walked in, eyes bleary and arms laden with books.
“Why aren’t you in bed?” He asked through a yawn, dropping the books on his desk and flopping into the bottom bunk.
“I could ask you the same question, Pat,” Roman hummed, completing his conclusion paragraph with a dramatic flair of his hands. “Just finished my paper. Going now.”
“Lost track of time at the library,” Patton murmured in response, draping his arms over his eyes.
Closing his computer, Roman popped his back and climbed up the small ladder into the top bunk, using his cellphone as a flashlight. He assumed Patton was already fast asleep (the man could fall asleep at the drop of a hat) and tried to follow suit, only to sit up in annoyance after several minutes.
Whatever song was stuck in his head was keeping him up.
He remembered a tip he’d seen on the internet once, that said if you sing the last part of the song, it’s easier to get out of your head. Something about ‘your brain needing to complete it to be satisfied’ or whatever. As hard as he focused, though, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what song it was, much less the ending.
The more he concentrated on it, the louder it seemed to get, until it was no longer a hum of bass in the back of his skull, and he could make out the lyrics, the guitar solos, everything. He definitely hadn’t heard this song before. It wasn’t the kind you’d hear playing in public; it was loud, swears thrown in every chorus, just generally the kind of thing you’d hear in a Hot Topic but nowhere else.
And then it stopped.
For a split second he was pleased, thanking his brain for finally shutting off, and conceded to lie back down. He might be able to get six hours of sleep at this rate. Pretty good, for a college student.
Except as soon as he closed his eyes, another song started. It was another one he didn’t know, one he would have no way of knowing each word to. The realization hit him hard and his eyes shot open, nearly falling off the ladder in his haste to climb down.
“Roman? Everything okay?” Patton drawled, clearly having been woken up by Roman’s enthusiasm.
“My soulbond!”
“What?!” That got his attention and he jerked up, narrowly missing whacking his head on the top bunk.
“The music in my head all night, it’s my soulmate! It must be his birthday!”
He was pulling up music on his laptop before he’d even processed it, hands freezing over the keyboard as his brain grasped for something to play. What could he play that would properly introduce himself to his soulmate? A show tune? Something from the 80s? But his mind had gone completely blank, and he couldn’t think of a single one.
“What do I play, Pat?” He gasped, tapping the mousepad in time with the upbeat tempo in his head.
Patton was suddenly leaning over his shoulder, clacking a name into the search bar before pressing enter. Roman narrowed his eyes
“Why that one?”
Patton shrugged, “It’s kind of cheesy romantic, like you. And the first line is fitting.”
“A valid point,” Roman announced, closing his eyes to listen for a pause as the music switched. The second the song ended, he slammed the space bar, begging it to play before the next one started.
How can you miss someone you’ve never met?
Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,
But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,
Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.
A little more depressing than he initially would have chosen, but he could see Patton’s point. The music on the other end had been paused and he smiled in accomplishment, knowing that he must have heard. He let the song play to the end of the first chorus before pausing it, waiting with his roommate with baited breath.
The silence was almost unbearably long, Patton watching him intently for some kind of indication that the music was back.
Hello,
It’s me.
Adele’s soothing melody filled his mind and he absolutely wheezed with laughter. Patton grinned and let him explain through gasps for air, and he let out a giggle in response.
“Okay,” Roman snorted, “What next?”
Patton passed out probably an hour later after helping Roman pick out songs that would adequately encompass him as a person, but the theatre student didn’t sleep last night. Eventually him and his soulmate found a nice rhythm, each playing a song in turn. It didn’t take long for him to assume that his soulmate was emo (a fact that had him blushing furiously), simply due to the overwhelming amount of My Chemical Romance and Green Day played in his head, and he figured it was probably pretty obvious that he was a theatre kid. The second song he played was from Heathers, afterall.
When his eyes finally started drooping too much to ignore, he knew he had to end this soon. The soulmate’s song ended and he quickly pulled up the first thing he’d thought of, a children’s lullaby, trying to indicate that he had to sleep.
There was quiet on the other end when the song ended, before the beginning trills of Baby Shark started playing and he groaned, quickly muffling the sound with his hand so as to not wake his roommate. He didn’t let it play past one verse, thank Olympus, and then his mind was quiet for the first time in many hours. It seemed like a mutual agreement that ‘now is sleep time’, and Roman went to sleep with a smile on his face.
Their new norm was quickly established in the following weeks. It became obvious almost right away that playing their music at the same time was cacophonous and only caused headaches, so they eventually settled on switching days. Every second morning, Roman would wake up to his alarm and quickly start his morning playlist, a set of rousing, uplifting, exciting songs to get his blood flowing for the day. It was his day to choose the music, so he’d set his walking playlist for class and his study one for the evenings, sometimes playing an adventure podcast or something to spice things up. The other days, he’d be woken by the soft notes of melancholy tunes, starting the day slowly. As the morning progressed, usually by the time he was eating breakfast, the tone would change to something a little more fast paced, as if his soulmate needed to warm up before getting to the main act. As much as the music wasn’t his style, he found himself keeping pace to the beat with his steps, bopping his head along to the melody, humming a harmony to the more commonly played ones. Just knowing that this was his soulmate made it better.
And then, one day… the music stopped.
He’d woken up around noon, not a big deal since he didn’t have classes until after lunch anyways, but he knew for a fact that his soulmate was always up by 10, latest. Whether the other had classes or a job that kept his schedule, he didn’t know. It was an oddity for sure that there was no alarm.
He put it off to the other probably having a sick day, or a free schedule, and he was sleeping in for once. The worry only started creeping in near the evening, when usually at this time, the music would start slowing down again as the sun set. There hadn’t been a peep all day, which was very unlike either of them. Even though the silence bothered him, he wouldn’t dare intrude on the other’s day, so he studied and ate dinner in silence, tapping his pencil against the table. Of course, he put it off to a one day fluke.
Except, two days after, when it should have been his soulmate’s turn again, there was no music. And the time after that. And the one after that. It was almost two weeks of radio silence on the other end before he called Patton through broken sobs, pleading for him to stop studying and come back to the dorm. Obviously, he made the ten minute walk in five.
And then Roman admitted the way his anxieties had been spiralling.
“What if- What if our soulbond broke? Did the universe realize we were a mistake? Or… or what if he died?! What if he’s hurt or dying or alone and I’m just-”
Patton shushed him gently, rubbing his back as Roman hiccuped into his shoulder. “When did this start?”
“Two- two weeks ago.”
“Then isn’t it possible that he just isn’t listening to music for a little while? Maybe he’s… somewhere without wifi. Or his phone broke.”
Even though he very much didn’t believe a word Patton was saying, he nodded along messily, clutching Patton’s shirt tighter. He eventually agreed to give him more time, hold on just a little longer, before completely giving up.
It took about a month before he did, and it didn’t get better from there.
Their consistency had been their norm for almost nine months, over summer break and now into the new school year, and now it was torn away without warning. Roman refused to listen to music on days that weren’t his, even though Patton tried to tell him it was okay, but he wouldn’t. It didn’t feel right. He mourned his soulmate the same way he would mourn a close friend’s death, for he truly believed he was gone for good. The person he’d barely gotten to understand, much less meet, and he was just… gone. He was going to live the rest of his life without a soulmate.
Most nights he just did the bare basics of the homework he had to do, without any of the old flair he’d put into all his work, and curled onto his bed to watch a show or, on his days, listen to music. His old playlists had shifted to the bottom of his rotation, now only bringing sadder memories that Patton had insisted he not indulge in at this point, so it was usually just automated lists he found. Nothing was special about them anymore.
Today was his day, an uneventful Saturday where the most exciting occurrence was Patton convincing him to come to the cafeteria and eat with other people. It had been tiring and only made him feel more alone, so his daily scheduled moping times had come up a little earlier. Patton had given him a hug and a gentle kiss on the head, telling him he had to go meet some people for a group project, and to call if he needed anything, before grabbing his bag and leaving. Roman didn’t miss the sad look tossed his way before the door shut.
Despite Patton’s advice, he was feeling particularly shitty today, and his fingers, seemingly with a mind of their own, pulled up one of his older playlists. One of the ones that was reminiscent of days when he actually had a soulmate. He clicked shuffle and tossed the phone onto the pillow next to his head, curling that much deeper into his blankets, as if he could somehow refill the void that had been cut out of him.
How can you miss someone you’ve never met?
Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,
But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,
Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.
The first song he’d ever played had become a sort of inside joke between them. Despite the song’s sad melody and somber lyrics, it was a reminder of the first time they’d interacted; an awkward, laughter filled night. At least, it had been on Roman’s night, and he could only hope it had been the same on the other end.
He didn’t even realize he was crying until the pillow beneath him was tear stained and gross to lay on. Why had the universe chosen him as the target for its cruel irony? Not that he wished this on anyone else… but why couldn’t soulmates be foolproof? Why was there that margin for error, the always-there possibility that everything you’ve ever dreamed of will be ripped out of your hands just as soon as you think you have it? So close, but so far. At least before they’d connected, he’d lived in blissful hope and ignorance.
The song ended and he pressed pause lethargically, not able to find the emotional strength to listen to more. Maybe Patton had been right. A glance out the window showed that it was well past nightfall, the full moon gleaming into his window, and he decided to just sleep the emptiness away. It hadn’t worked so far, but maybe tonight was the night. He turned off his phone screen and plugged it in to charge, rolling away to face the wall, and waited for the soothing peace of sleep to take over him.
At first, he thought it was just a hallucination, wishful thinking. More than once in the three months since his soulmate disappeared, he’d thought he’d heard music, only for the feeling to disappear as soon as he focused on it. A soulbond only became louder when concentrated on, so he eventually realized he was doing it to himself subconsciously, his mind struggling to fill the emptiness that had once been filled by the other’s music.
When it disappeared, he figured it was music from someone else’s dorm filtering through the thin walls. But no, this was too clear, too distinct, too ingrained, to be coming from an external source.
He calmed his racing heart before he could jump to conclusions. This music isn’t like what his used to be. It must be your brain, because he’s gone. He’s GONE, Roman.
Much as he tried to push it down, he couldn’t. It was becoming evident that no, something was happening, and it had to do with his soulmate. As he had done for the time he’d known (could it be considered ‘knowing’) the other, he concentrated on the lyrics, because those were the only feeble ways they’d interacted in those times.
I’m sorry,
Don’t leave me,
I want you here with me,
I know that your love is gone.
I can’t breathe,
I’m so weak,
I know this isn’t easy,
Don’t tell me that your love is gone,
That your love is gone.
Patton walked in after his group meeting to see Roman sobbing in his bed and, immediately assuming the worst, he jumped onto the bed and pulled him into his arms. Through gasps for breath, Roman was able to choke out that, “He’s back. He’s playing music. He’s back. He’s back.”
Part 2 HERE
#lywrites#tsshipmonth2020#sanderssides#sanders sides#prinxiety#roman sanders#virgil sanders#patton sanders#sad tw#depression tw#ts soulmate au#sanders sides fanfiction#sanderssidesfanfiction
410 notes
·
View notes