#Idk truly just a random thing I wrote and don't know if I should continue it

[potato-pencil]

International Superspy: A Backyardigans fic

The cold metal of the pistol pressed against his back, digging deeper and sending an involuntary shiver down his spine. Adrenaline surged through his veins as the familiar routine began, but he didn’t budge. He had committed the script to memory by now: a dark alley, a creeping figure, a crowded pub, and countless whispered secrets and repressed desires. This was London at night—or at least, London for Agent Secret. He swirled his drink, letting his eyes drift over the many faces in the room, each one with a story, yet he was only interested in the figure behind him. He sipped his drink one last time before turning his gaze to the mirrored wall in front of him, revealing the owner of the pistol he was being forcefully acquainted with. A coy smile formed on his face—tonight, he wasn’t on a regular mission; tonight, he was called to action.

“Agent Secret,” the figure whispered, their breath fanning his ear as they moved to sit on the empty stool, the pistol never leaving its spot on his back.

“Lady Pink,” he greeted solemnly, acknowledging the obnoxiously pink hood that encompassed the woman now beside him, accompanied by her usual scent of roses. “We keep meeting under the most unfortunate circumstances, wouldn’t you agree?”

“You have only yourself to blame for that, agent,” she teased, her voice laced with a playful edge as her eyes roamed his body, searching for what he could only assume was the purpose of her appearance—the flash drive he currently held. “You have something that doesn’t belong to you,” she said, her gaze snapping back to his, her intense eyes holding him in place, aside from her gun, of course.

“Always so eager to make accusations. Yet again, patience was never a virtue you possessed.” He set his cup down on the bar with a forceful thud, catching the attention of the distracted bartender. “And here you are, with a gun to an innocent man’s back. What does that say about you exactly?” His eyes abandoned hers, focusing now on the bartender.

“It only shows I’m a woman who knows what she wants,” she retorted, pressing the pistol further into his back, reminding him that her threats were anything but empty. “And who knows how to get results rather efficiently, at that.”

A mocking smile formed on his face. “Efficient?” he questioned sarcastically, allowing himself to look at her only through the mirrored wall in front of him. “I feel the need to remind you of that situation in Cartagena. We’re calling that efficient now? Because I don’t think that’s the word I would use to describe that moment, my lady.” His gaze remained fixed on her, watching as her face twisted in a pained cringe at the dreaded memory before she quickly collected herself.

“Do not make me cause a scene here,” she warned,applying pressure on his back with her pistol reminding him that she held the power, a fake sweet smile plastered on her face. Her tone was sugary yet commanding. To the outside observer, it looked like a couple out on a date, where the man was being a bit of an ass, and his seemingly sweet, doting girlfriend was doing everything to charm him. She had her arm around his back, strategically holding the pistol out of sight, making it look like a hug. Her body was pressed close to his, appearing defenseless—when she was anything but.

“Always one for dramatics,” he sighed as memories of her previous scenes flooded him. “Can we at least drop the pistol? I know Tyrone must be nearby with my head as a target, and we both know his aim is deadly.”

She smiled, pressing her body closer to his and pushing the pistol painfully into his back. “Very well,” she uttered, retracting her weapon into her coat. A red dot briefly appeared on Secret’s forehead, signaling that the danger had not passed. “Will you hand me the drive, or will I have to forcefully retrieve it?”

“A drive?” he questioned in feigned ignorance. “You’re going to have to give me a bit more to go off of here, my lady.”

Lady Pink leaned in further, her voice a low murmur that barely reached his ear. “This drive holds something that could turn the tables in ways you can’t even imagine, Agent. It’s not just about money or power—it’s about control. You wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of this, trust me.” Her words conveyed not just her seriousness but also an invitation that Agent Secret had refused before.

He turned to face her, forcing her to peel herself away and create distance between them. His eyes scanned hers for any hint of something genuine, but they found nothing but seriousness. “My dear lady, I’m sorry,” he said, fixing a strand of hair that had fallen out of her neatly made braid. His fingers gently grazed her face as he tucked it behind her ear. His eyes already conveyed an apology before his words could. “Trust is something I can’t afford to freely give.” With that, he recoiled his hand, fully abandoning the touch.

Her mouth parted slightly as a hint of pain crossed her eyes. “I—” she began, only to be interrupted by the intrusive ringing of a phone—Agent Secret’s phone.

She stared at him in clear annoyance as he nodded to whatever was being said to him. Her mind swirled with a complex mix of emotions: rejection, urgency, and the high stakes involved. Agent Secret didn’t seem to appreciate how fortunate he was for her to meet him in person, even if it was under the threat of certain death. Normally, she would send Tyrone for such tasks, yet here she was, and he was on a phone call.

She sighed in frustration before her own phone rang. She reached for it from her coat, only for the bartender to accidentally spill an alcoholic drink on her. She stood up in a frenzy, dripping with the drink as she received a steady stream of apologies mixed with the aggravating sound of her ringtone. Her coat was ruined, her phone was ringing, and the bartender’s futile attempt to dab her coat with cheap napkins only heightened her irritation.

With a sigh, she glanced at the stool behind her, a snarky comment ready to combat whatever words Secret would throw at her. But then, a surge of panic rushed through her as she realized Agent Secret had disappeared. Her eyes darted to the glass wall, now covered with curtains, preventing Tyrone from aiming. She quickly scanned the bar, finding that he had indeed vanished.

“Sorry, miss, I—” the bartender began, but she forcefully shoved him away, grabbing her phone from inside her coat, only for it to fall silent. The sound of a shutting door could be heard above the murmurs of the crowd.

She glanced back at the now-empty spot and found a note pinned beneath his glass. “Of course he would,” she mumbled to herself, barely above a whisper. The bartender was left ignored on his knees, picking up the shattered glass from the ground, as she grabbed the note from the counter, her distraction shattered by the reality that Agent Secret had slipped from her grasp with the drive.

She skillfully opened the folded napkin, her eyes immediately raking over the scribbled words just for an involuntary laugh to escape her. Only one sentence was clumsily scribbled on the crumpled napkin:

My dear lady, always expect the unexpected

                               -Secret 💙

[onboardsorasora]

hiiii! Are you up to talking about Reclamation? I love the fic. And I was wondering how did you came up with the idea?

Hi Bestie!! I am ALWAYS up for talking about Reclamation. I just need to curb myself so I don't spoil anything. I love that you love it!🥰🥰 Its such a labour of love so I'm so happy its hitting everyone in the feels! (I apologise from now bestie...I am very long winded and I have been waiting to talk about this with other people lmao)

So the original oneshot Wreck Me, was a random drabble I thought of while watching a comedy of all things. The scene with the security guard that wanted to laugh at Daniel (after his awkward rambling introduction) when he called up to the exec suite, only to hear to 'send him up' is what started it all!! I legit just wrote a drabble about that scene, then I think I got an ask/comment to continue it and idk where it came from (@rizzstappen is so gonna tease me about this lmao), I wrote the angstiest one shot I've ever written. I didn't know what else to do with it so I posted it and people got *mad* lmao

She denies this, but Emi challenged me to 'fix it' so we chat ficced a pseudo outline. And I thought that would be that- case closed! but then my brain wouldn't let it go!

And then I started writing it all. It was supposed to 100% Max's POV and I was maybe like 20k words deep when my brain went '...we should write Daniel's POV....but of different times in the timeline'. And I was truly worried it was going to be a bit confusing, because I wrote it in like 5 different gdocs

(it took me 2 days and MORE gdocs to decide on the 'correct' order. I wanted it to be perfect and not confusing and I may have cried about it a little lmao)

I knew I wanted it to be kinda angsty, but I didn't realize it would be so angsty. but then I didn't truly give myself an option because I gave them maybe one of the most fucked up break up reasons ever. Truly a fun time worldbuilding, because I had to truly figure out what brought them to Wreck Me before I could bring them along the 2wrecked2furious journey.

But truly it was that or a spy-esque 'I did it to protect you' reason and I'm kinda happy I didn't go down that road.

The memories came at the end and there weren't supposed to be as many as they were lol.

Overall, I have 35 google docs in a folder because I wrote everything so sporadically. the ONLY scenes that were written canonically were the first 3 Max POV scenes and the first 3 Daniel POV scenes. Everything else was a 'open a new doc to write this down and figure it out later' vibe.

Also, another fun fact that only Isabel knows, I don't listen to music when I write, I can't like focus. But for some reason when I had started writing Daniel's POV I kept replaying folklore, and Exile is very Reclamation Daniel coded.

Sorry for wip dumping Anon lmao. Oh! I combed the dictionary for a name because I knew I wanted it to be one word. I'm terrible at naming my fics so i took this soooo seriously. And I was creating the banner before I even knew where we were going. I knew the vibe I wanted almost immediately. (I have like so many versions of that, Isabel helped me streamline it. She's an angel, truly)

It truly all just came together.

[misireads]

Pussikaljaromaani ("Beer bag novel") by Mikko Rimminen

[ physical book, read in finnish ]

one day in the life of three drunk men in helsinki. they wander around, mostly in the kallio area, and get in trouble with the police. sometimes they sit down to drink with underage girls. at one point it starts raining. yes that's it, that's the book. over 300 pages.

➕ i need to elaborate why i read this book…. over 2 years ago i decided i want to read more finnish literature, so i googled a list of recommendations (+ recommended authors), took one list, started going down it. this was the last one i had left on the first side of the slip of paper i wrote my list on -- even though it continues on the other side of the paper lol, it still felt like i finished A list that i'd been working on for two years now, and this was the one last title remaining on it, so i was really determined to read this even though i had already read another novel from rimminen that was total nonsense, yeah idk how two of this author's books made it to a rec list but they did. so that's why i read this and didn't drop it.

➕ i mean… the author sure has a way with words. this novel truly is about words, not about any story or characters. the finnish language clearly provides rimminen with endless entertainment.

➕ besides words, this novel is about helsinki. it was pretty fun following the places mentioned here on a map, especially since this book is twenty years old and many things have changed since then because helsinki is developed REALLY rapidly these days and kallio has become significantly gentrified. it was pretty funny that one of the key locations in this story is this iconic kiosk where they get cheap beer and hotdogs and whatever, which these days apparently sells wine.

➕ fast to read because nothing happens. no need to pay attention to anything so you can just run your eyes through every page

➕ the relationship between the three men is actually kind of wholesome? i guess.

➖ this is the definition of nonsense. there's no story here to speak of. the characters hardly have any characteristics either. clearly this is supposed to be Haha Funny Humorjoke but reading about drunk men walking around stealing shit, and then drinking some more, and then drinking some more^2 with teenage girls is truly……. not my definition of a good time. most of the novel is description of them walking somewhere. or running. there's also a scene where they meet "a tranny" and iiiiii yeeeaaaahhhh yes.

➖ what's not description of them walking is description of the sort-of-main character thinking that he should say something, or recurring dialogue of one of the guys saying something nonsensical and either himself commenting how it was nonsense or the others commenting that it's nonsense. i don't even know how to adequately describe how little content there is in the dialogue. the average scene is just about this: "'huh,' he said. 'what huh,' another he said. 'well huh huh,' he repeated" my brain cells are dying as we speak

➖ the author has a way with words yes but those are extremely, extremely repetitive words. this reads like stuff i wrote as an 11 year old, packing every sentence full of LOL SO RANDOM XDDDDD metaphors and hehhe funny words haha sounds soooo funee. i wrote down some drinking game ideas: take a shot at each instance of the finnish words "jotenkin" (somehow), "jonkinlainen" (some kind of), "sellainen" (that kind of), "siten" (therefore). you'll be piss drunk in five minutes

➖ the last 50 or so pages are just lists of things in helsinki. feels like the author ran out of ideas of what to write so he made the characters walk even more and just listed the locations.

⭐ score: 1 -- yeah. bye

[dimonds456]

TOH Season 2, 4 Theories (SPOILERS!)

So we're only 4 episodes in, and there's a LOT going on. I have 3 theories (and one that's more speculation) that I want to share (that have probably already been discussed before, but I haven't seen them, so here I go), and they're all beneath the cut! I wanna talk about King, Belos, and a third one that might surprise you, but I can't say just yet because ~dramatic buildup.~

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!

THEORY 1: King is a Titan

This has been a theory since Season 1, but it's reeeeally getting expanded upon here. It's hinted at that King might have a deeper backstory than he's been given, if those carvings and his memory gaps are anything to go off of.

However, we can find proof in his design and the design in that of the Boiling Isles themselves. They were birthed from an actual Titan, right? We see the Titan's still-beating heart in Belos' throne room. The Isles are his organs and ribcage. His skull sits in the water, eye sockets looking out over all.

Lookit it all. Gross. :)

Now look at his skull specifically. He's got those two horns on top of his head, looking to be a similar-to-exactly-the-same shape as King's, which is even more apparent since his other horn is fixed now.

(Side theory, King's collar is a glyph, look at the design. What does it do? idk, but I think it's gonna be Epic, and perhaps only he or another Titan can activate it. But I have no proof and just wanted to throw that one out there for consideration.)

Different noses, sure, but this Titan is also more mature. And bigger. That could change as King gets older.

If this theory is true, then that means Emperor Belos- who is rumored to be able to communicate WITH THE BOILING ISLES TITAN- is going to want King at some point. If he is able to RAISE A TITAN, that would strengthen the theory that he has this ~special connection~ with the Titan and put him in so much more power. King is easy to please, too, meaning that he might go along with it.

Leading me to:

THEORY 2: Belos is a human

Look at this series of quotes from Gwen Clawthorne from S2E4:

(Starting with when she says "You're not the only human to have lived in Bones Burrow," but image limit, so.)

[Image ID: four screenshots from The Owl House. The first is a picture of Gwen with the quote "there's a rare substance called Titan's blood." The next is Gwen in a different pose, with the quote "it is extremely powerful, and oftentimes causes leaks between our realms." The third is a picture if Luz, with her eyes wide with shock. Gwen is still speaking though, with the quote "but humans... are rare." The fourth is back to Gwen, with her hands up and the quote "my great-grandmother told me about a human who once lived here, but one day, he just vanished." End ID.]

"a human who once lived here, but one day, he just vanished."

Notice the use of he/him pronouns here. I was originally thinking it was whoever wrote the Azura books- and that is not off the table, really- but... the circumstances of him just vanishing are suspicious at best and earth-shattering at worst.

What if he never left?

We have never seen Belo's face. He was breathing hard when we first saw him, implying he's sick somehow, but was better after he Murdered a Man and poured goop in his eyes. He's never actually used magic before that we've seen. The only hint of power is that he's able to "talk with the Titan" and therefore that makes him better.

If he truly is a human, then that would be why he wears the mask. His ears would look like Luz's, not like a resident of the Boiling Isles. He has no magic. Or, if he does, he's channeling it in a way similar to Luz herself. He's been here for a LONG TIME, meaning he's becoming old and frail- or he should be, if it weren't for the Miracle Eye Healing Goop.

This would explain the portal Eda found out in the woods, and why Belos knows what it is. It was his portal. But, because Eda had it by the time he realized he wanted it back for whatever nefarious purposes he wanted that portal back for, he never got it.

But he's living literally right next to the Titan's still-beating heart. If Titan's blood is what allows for dimensional rifts, like Gwen says it can do, that means his throne is located directly in front of Luz's way home. He just needs a way to open the rift, which is where the portal comes in. The portal is there to channel the blood and create a rift on purpose, just like Eda's old portal could.

In fact, Luz probably has the "key" to opening that rift already. She just needs the blood and a vessel to complete the ritual.

Really think about it. Luz comes from our world, pretty much just as it is, and enters the Boiling Isles, where there is no discrimination on the same level of humanity. You can love freely, be freely, and crimes are judged on the action, not the person. Belos would have come from that same world, and saw how free it is here. If he wanted to take control and power, the only way he could ever do so would be to have the witches living here willingly give up their magic. He could not force them. So, he came up with the lie he can speak to the Titan.

Or, if it's not a lie, he used that power for evil instead of good. This leaves the implication that,

THEORY 3: Luz can ALSO talk to the Titan

This one is just speculation, but if Belos can do it, why not she? And if this IS a real ability Belos has, and he's been lying to everyone, Luz could be able to actually speak to the Titan and find out what it really wants. I imagine that it's probably not happy with Belos, but it can't just move or the entire Isles get destroyed. Or, he's physically unable to. Or perhaps, she can find out why the Titan wants magic restrained and find a different way.

If Belos is a human, then he and Luz contrast each other in that their journeys are the same. They both stumbled into this world by accident, they came from a world that wanted to stifle them, they entered a free world, and they wanted to stay.

The difference here is the power. While Belos reached for it, I predict Luz will be presented with a similar opportunity and throw it away. She becomes powerful in that she has her friends behind her, and that's all she needs. Her power comes from her determination and selflessness, whereas Belos' comes from his lies and selfishness.

Though, that story sounds familiar doesn't it? Which leads me to my final theory...

THEORY 4: The Good Witch Azura

I have 2 theories for this one, but they can both be grouped under one, so here we go.

Theory A) The Good Witch Azura was a REAL WITCH.

If these rifts can open because of Titan's blood, then there's a good chance that people like Eda had found the human world, too. And decided to stay for whatever reason.

Azura may have been writing an autobiography, or wanted to share to the human world about the Boiling Isles without directly saying it exists. Maybe she/they wanted to just get away from it, but missed the way it used to be, and expressed that through writing that happened to get popular.

Another mini theory that falls under this one is the idea that maybe someone tried to stand up to Belos early on, a sort of mirror to modern Eda. She/they saw how corrupt the system would become, and decided to flee or find help.

Theory B) Belos WROTE the Azura books

Now hear me out.

Going back to the 'Belos is a human' theory, that means he came from the human world, and for a time, he had a way of going back and forth between realms before he either lost or rejected his portal. Well, I don't know what his plans are, but if the fact that he's trying to get back to the human world are any indication, then I'd say he wants humans to know.

What if he's trying to spread his power and control? He has all the most powerful witches working under him, right? So it'd be easy to declare war on humanity. Just drop in without warning, cause havoc, and leave before they can retaliate. Then, do the same to a different location and leave before they can do anything. Do this again and again at random, and eventually, they surrender.

So why the Azura books? Well, I'm not entirely sure, but he's marketing books that are shockingly similar to how magic works in the Boiling Isles to humans, with messages about cheesy love and acceptance and working together. Humans eat that stuff right up. He may be testing the waters somehow.

I gotta be honest, I don't know why he'd write about those things, and the only episode I have to go off of is the writing/crunchtime episode from Season 1.

Oh, and this.

[Image ID: The same scene with Gwen that was shown before, but a continuation of the quote. Two screenshots this time, the first with the quote "Rumor has it he left something in the library, and- if you can find it-" then continued, "and if you can find out more about him..." End ID]

Luz: "Maybe I could find out how he got here!"

What if that something is the Azura books? What if there's a secret hidden within their pages, asking the humans to seek the witches out? Asking them to be entranced with this wondrous world, just as he was? What if he's asking them to come here?

"Knock knock, human."

Seasons 2 and 3 are gonna be wild.

[joyisntyoj]

04: LETTERS TO NOBODY OR MAYBE MAYARI

Seal stamps, stamps with whatever designs, papers and pens, stickers, pictures, dried flowers, heartwarming messages, and a lot more.

When was the last time you wrote something on a literal piece of paper for someone?

Have you ever personally given someone a handwritten letter or sent it from the post office?

Is writing a letter still a thing today, or you just use whatever app you have because what is the point if other ways are more convenient, right?

Maybe, you are more the vocal type of person and, you just say what you feel instead of writing it down?

Perhaps, you are none of the above because what is important is your presence in their lives and, that is more than enough?

Still, how lovely it is to keep something that has sentimental value. It unnecessarily means that you are hoarding something because what's to not treasure from precious memories in a small piece of paper in an envelope?

This story is for those who never get tired of expressing themselves in whatever form they know, but most especially to those who write.

May you never run out of papers, inks, and thoughts to compose. to more unforgotten memories preserved in letters.

^^^

To: Mayari.

How are you? I wish things were getting better, just like what I always pray. These days, sleeping at night suddenly became serene as well as waking up in the morning. Sometimes my days are dull and typical...I believe? But most of the time, it's either I'm feeling blue or extra sad, or was that the same? I kept on blaming the pandemic, but for real, I'm just a mess. Silent battles are truly tough. I wish I had the courage and strength just like yours. Be safe. Stay sane. I'm really trying my best to be legit all right.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Liway is the name, exhausted with life. Mayari, someone out there, maybe a supreme being or plausibly not always receives Liway's letters. Sometimes Liway writes 10 messages at once and sometimes none at all. Mayari is the only recipient of such letters that even Liway never knew they were received by the random recipient it thought was just nobody. It all genuinely started on having a recipient written on the "To:" part at the post office. Though seriously, it doesn't even have any home address. It's super weird that it's for Mayari and no address, and were received.

HOW?

^^^

To: Mayari.

The night has come. This time, it feels heavier than usual. Tears are suddenly falling. I noticed that an unwelcome visitor came. The familiar pain is hugging me again, so tight that breathing is getting harder. I hate everything. Yet, I came to realize a lot of things. Afterward, I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Am I getting crazy? Before I went to bed, at the dinner table, I felt uncomfortable with the conversation we had, my family, about myself back then. I really hate it when they keep on bringing up what happened in the past. I already moved on... I think... so can they stop mentioning those moments? Honestly, whenever anything from the past is introduced again and remembered, I tend to feel like it just happened yesterday. Everything is coming back so fresh and new; fun, pain, sweats, and tears. I hate it.

PS. Mayari, can you send me some courage? Preferably in capsules, So I can have it in my intakes and be sure I'll be really having it in my system literally.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Continues writing so many letters filled with how living is like. Liway felt tired and exhausted. A few days ago, it was super overwhelmed that crying is unavoidable. Then this morning, Ms. Walmy called for a little chat and checking up because it's never too bad to check up on somebody, most especially when you're a counselor. It's your job, so uh? Anyway, though Liway was out of focus on the call, it was able to be accomodating and warm in return. It reciprocated the thoughtfulness with a sweet smile.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey! Today I was mad because firsthand, I experienced that thing I usually hear from other people. The "don't-post-something-revealing-on-social-media-but-love-yourself-but-that's-not-appropriate". Well, I don't even know why I'm reacting super outrage towards it. Because knowing that my family is just concerned for me since the internet is frankly scary. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why? Maybe deciding to be confident on the internet is not necessary for them. But for me, it is! So how should I deal with this? A friend consoled me, and I feel better. Still tho, my mood is already ruined. Oh gosh.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

 Liway.

Welcoming a new week, the usual Liway is busy with the household chores. Some may find it stressful, but this one is pretty different. Scrubbing the floor, washing the dishes, brooming on the side. Later on, folding the clothes, fixing the bed, and a lot more things. It looks like it'll be tiring its body out until the nose bleeds, and passing out is the last resort to rest. How come it's easier to clean an actual mess than the one inside the head and heart?

^^^

To: Mayari.

Beloa visited me today. My childhood and the only friend left I have up to this day from elementary school. If you get what I mean? It's been a long time since we had a chat, especially that things are super complicated these days. She's doing really well, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm still amazed at how we manage to be friends because we both don't like each other to begin with. It's so funny that we even pulled each other's hair in the 4th grade while the class is taking the annual picture for the school year remembrance. What are the odds in this even, right? HAHAHA. Today was warm and bright.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Dates suddenly don't vary in these letters. Even the concept of time is somehow gone. What's important is regardless of not having these "important details" like the usual, Liway can keep up and be consistent in sending its letters. Liway never missed a chance to send a letter to the address less recipient, which left the post office staff to ponder with it. But as time goes by, Alle, the clerk, is no more surprised 'coz she's used to everything now. The envelopes unfailingly vanished the moment it was dropped inside the mailing box. Indeed, a magical mailbox.

^^^

To: Mayari.

I never knew how amazing pretending could be. You know that thing where someone usually says I'm okay, but really not? The inner saboteur that was triggered by their trauma is real-real-real. A car is useless when it's not moving if you wanted to travel to faraway places. Does that make sense?

PS. It sucks that our bathroom is the only "semi-safe space".

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Polar bears are really fascinating. They get to hibernate. Then, after the time being, back on hunting and living their lives. Ligaya was one of Liway's hero. A lot knew Ligaya for being a superhero, although she does not have that fantasy powers. Just like the polar bears, too, Ligaya has been hibernating for quite some time but kept on saying that she was not. Liway saw it all. Maybe a bear's hibernation is different from a human-being, hmm?

^^^

To: Mayari.

IDK what to say, but I just wanted to be consistent at the very least in sending you letters.

PS. The radio was broken, but in my head, it's working. It kept on playing nonstop music. Is this a poetic way of saying I'm overthinking things?

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari.

A lot happened lately. Somebody lost a precious one, and here I am, having a renaissance moment. It's a crazy ride, but for all it's worth, the pea has grown into a beautiful plant. Hope it made sense coz finally, everything is making sense to me now. Little by little, slowly and surely.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey!! I hope you are doing great!!! These days, everything felt surreal. I get to be active everywhere. It's draining, yet I feel so alive than ever. I had this thought that time is indeed just a concept, hmm? I mean, anytime is the right time to do what you want and whatever it is. Nothing is too late, most especially when it comes to growth. OH, being late in class still counts but FOR REAL RIP TO THE ONLINE CLASS SETUP -_-

PS. May we never run out of time to be the best versions of ourselves. LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. fck the situation, but SOON, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. SPEND FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. FEEL EVERYTHING.

PSS. May we leave this world with fewer regrets and more amazing memories.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Quite a lot of letters were already sent. The post office is getting more and more letters, as well as Mayari. Still, NO REPLY. Maybe some other, Liway will be able to hear Mayari's words.

^^^

To: Mayari.

*here's an envelope just in case you want to write me something*

With so much love annd kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

'Tis the season to be jolly. LOL Nah. Liway has been out for the past weeks. By out, means on a hibernation mode. A L O T R E A L L Y happened. It's hard to put it into words. I guess Liway will end these letter-sending shenanigans or just lazy and trying to give out some excuses //

^^^

To: Mayari. 

Ever since I was taught how to move around the kitchen, I've been assigned to be Mom's assistant while cooking for the feast every event/occasion we'll be celebrating. It's tiring but super fun. Getting your fingers bleed and while unaware is cool LOL~ 

PS. Why does it feel so good to overthink things while doing the dishes? What's with that scenario.........

With so much love and kindness always and all ways, 

Liway.

Tireless hands, heart, and mind with countless thoughts and feelings, papers, and pens everywhere—WRITING; it surely is one of the best ways to vent. Though letters can’t hug and wipe one's tears, witness waves of laughter, ease the pain, and such, the comfort from every word written is more than enough.

Suddenly time barge in and reminded me that this is enough. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR 2020...

A new chapter has arrived, and maybe it's time to move forward. Maybe this is where it all gonna stop for a while. I mean, writing is somehow tiring, literally. Probably, Mayari might reply with the number of letters sent anytime soon, so maybe waiting is all that needed.

No rush in moving on.

MAY YOU GET THE REPLY YOU LONG FOR SO LONG.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND HAVE COURAGE.

BE KIND ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Little did nobody know, Liway is writing a letter to her "ideal" self.

The letter-sending-to-nobody thingy of Liway is really mind-boggling, right?

Mayari is Liway. Liway is Mayari.

The things that Liway wanted to say but cannot articulate well were always sent to Mayari. Mayari is the version of Liway it wishes to become in the future. 

The weak Liway longs and hopes to have "that" someone by her side to look up to. That's why she always writes letters and keeps them in the memory box.

The post office thingy was actually her shared room at home: the table at the corner with no lights but so much mess. It's that post office.

It's pandemic, so how can a post office be open and how brave she is to go out, right?

That saying, "be the hero you wanted to have when you were little", is the best explanation of Liway's way of venting and expressing.

Nobody knows when Mayari will come to life because it's no certainty that we can be the ideal self we all wanted to happen. 

For now, Liway is fighting her battles and screaming louder to the universe,

UNTIL WHEN DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?

To be continued...

Happy New Year, Mayari. ✨💜

This is like an excerpt from my quarantine shenanigans for 2020 LOL.