#Idk man I should stop tagging while I'm ahead

[farmerlarrry]

I Wanna Be Yours - Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: You meet Joel at a bar and you're left wanting more of him.

wc: ~3.3k

tags/warnings: 18+ (MDNI)! no use of y/n, no outbreak!Joel, reader is younger than Joel however age is not specified (is of drinking age though), Joel is mid to late 30's, alcohol consumption, sexual thoughts (!!!), takes place at a bar in Texas, flirty!Joel, unwanted male attention (but also wanted attention...), idk there's not much tbh (if you feel like I should add something, please let me know) no beta we die like men

a/n: I didn't proofread as intensely as I normally do, but I'm trying to challenge myself to write & post more so here is the result. Also, I couldn't stop thinking about this concept, so I wrote it. Hope you all enjoy! (I also have an idea for a part two... if any of you are interested, let me know!)

if you are interesting in getting notifications when I post new works, follow @farmerlarrrylibrary and turn on notifications! :)

You haven’t seen your best friend in over a year since they moved to a small town in Texas. Between work and just life in general, it’s been hard to find a time when both your schedules just so happen to perfectly align. After a lot of planning and a four hour fight with a two hour layover, you’ve finally made it. Unfortunately, your stay will be short—you only have three nights and four days with them, but it’s better than not seeing them at all. Your best friend made sure to plan some fun filled days, and regardless of how tired you are from your long travel day, you don’t want to waste any of the time you have with them.

Tonight, the two of you are hitting the town. Your friend has been going on and on about this one bar in particular. The drinks are cheap, the crowds are wild, and the music is good. On top of that, you will also be meeting some of your friend's coworkers, who quickly turned into some of their closest friends. Although you were excited, a part of you felt nervous.

It’s been a while since you went out to any bars or clubs. When you were in college, you and your small group of friends were frequent nightlife goers, but once everyone started getting jobs and moving away, those wild nights became few and far between.

Butterflies began to form in your stomach as the two of you approached a building from a side alley. You could feel the vibration of the music run its course through your body before the bar came into view; usually, this was a sign that tonight was going to be a good night.

When the building came into view, it wasn’t exactly what you were anticipating. The dim entrance made your stomach churn, igniting a sense of danger in your mind. A large man stood to the side of the closed metal door, his arms crossed as he stared straight ahead with a grim, intimidating expression. It was definitely not like any of the clubs or bars back home, where everything was well lit and definitely not as secluded as this one is. Your body language must’ve been telling because your friend let out a loud chuckle, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you closer to them.

“I already know what you’re thinking,” they say between their small giggles. You respond with a apprehensive look, causing them to become even more amused. A part of you felt like this was some sort of prank. “It doesn’t look like much, but I promise you, this is the place to go.”

You raise your eyebrows in suspicion. Your friend shakes their head in a joking manner, lacing their arm through yours and guiding you to the line that has begun to form.

Your friend spent most of the time in line on their phone trying to get a hold of their friends, who are supposed to be meeting the two of you there. One person wouldn’t pick up, so they’d call another person, only for the first person to call back. It was a mess, but in your eyes, it was an entertaining mess watching your friend struggle between the calls.

The two of you finally make it into the bar. Dim, red lights barely illuminate the large building, and you are immediately met with a humid heat and the smell of sweat and pure alcohol. Your nose twitches at the smell. The music, at least, is good; you can feel the thumping of the beat in your chest.

As you’re taking in the atmosphere, your friend grabs the back of your arm, pulling you in close to them and tilting their phone away from their mouth.

“I think I know where they are, I’m going to try and find them,” they shout into your ear, and you simply nod in response. Your eyes are locked onto the small, but crowded, dance floor straight ahead of you. “Why don’t you go get a drink at the bar? I’ll be right over, okay?”

They point in the direction of the bar, and you follow with your eyes. A drink will surely help with the nerves you’re feeling right now. Your stomach feels like a scrambled mess. Your friend quickly disappears in the opposite direction, still trying to reach someone on their phone.

You have to push your way through the crowd to make it over to the bar, situating yourself between two men. As you wait for the bartender to come over, you tap your fingers along the edge of the wooden top, looking around at the people surrounding you.

"Well, aren’t you a pretty lady?” The man to your right sneers at you, causing you to snap your head in his direction. You immediately notice his eyes are locked on your chest, not even trying to hide his obvious obsession with your cleavage. A feeling of insecurity comes over you as you begin to regret your outfit choice. Sure, you wanted attention, but not this level of creepy attention and definitely not from this man.

Not wanting to cause a scene, you just give the man an unauthentic smile, positioning your body away from him. You can feel him lean in behind you, and as he begins to say something, the bartender, a girl who barely even looks old enough to work at an establishment like this, promptly comes up to you from the other side of the bar. She gives a deathly glare to the man bothering you, causing him and his friends to leave.

“What can I get for you?” She says with a sweet smile.

“Tequila soda, please.” You rest your palms against the edge of the wooden top, leaning in toward her as you speak. “With an extra lime, too.”

She gives you an assuring nod, quickly turning on her heel to begin her work. As she’s walking away, your body is firmly slammed up against the bar top, the edge ramming into your ribs and knocking the wind out of you. Your body rocks back and forth as some sort of commotion unfolds behind you, with someone keeping your body pinned down and making it impossible for you to straighten upright.

Watch where the fuck you’re goin’.

Why don’t you watch your fucking mouth, old man.

Old ma– you wanna take this shit outside, you fuckin’ punk? Huh?

Your ribs get slammed against the edge again before you are finally set free, pushing yourself upright. You feel a hand glide along your lower back, making you turn your head from side to side, trying to see who is touching you.

“I’m so sorry ‘bout that, miss,” a faint voice says, obviously directed toward you. “Are you alright?”

You nod your head slowly as a tall and quite handsome man appears off to your side, making you turn around to see him fully. His dark hair is messily tousled on top of his head, a few half formed curls peek out from the nape of his neck. He is staring at you intensely with kind yet very obviously tired eyes. You can feel your mouth grow unbearably dry as you take his good looks in.

“Ye—yes,” you stumble on your words, continuing to marvel over the man before you. His eyes are wide as he darts all over you, bringing up his hand to gently move a strand of hair out of your face. He gives you a genuine, kind smile before letting his hand drop.

“People are...” He lets his voice trail off, sucking in some air through his teeth. He quickly looks around him. “I'm—”

Although he’s shouting, you don’t catch his name over all the noise, bringing your eyebrows together and turning your ear toward him.

“Joel,” he said louder, leaning in closer. You pull back, nod your head and shout your name back to him. His lips curl up into a charming smile. “That’s a beautiful name, miss.”

His compliment makes your heart flutter, and you drop your gaze down to your feet for a short moment before meeting with his eyes again. Joel nudges the man who was standing to your right out of the way so he can take his spot; your arms brush up against each other’s in the process, causing a chill to run up your arms. You slowly turn to face him, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. The bar light illuminates his face a bit better than before, he is absolutely beautiful.

“You from around here?” Joel asks and cocks his head slightly to one side, tilting himself a bit closer to you.

“No, just visiting a friend,” you respond, lifting yourself up ever so slightly on your tiptoes and angling your chest toward him. This is exactly the kind of man you want attention from. “You?”

His throat bobs, and his eyes quickly dart down and then back up to your eyes.

“I— I am from around here,” he says with a slight chuckle, which causes you to giggle alongside him. You can see a bead of sweat beginning to form alongside his temple.

Suddenly, his attention shifts away from you and he subtly points to behind the bar, causing you to turn your head. It’s the bartender from earlier, and she has your drink in hand with an apologetic smile showcased on her face. You were so wrapped up in the essence of Joel that you completely forgot you even ordered a drink.

“So sorry, we had some issues at the other end.” Her voice is high pitched and sweet sounding. “Do you want to pay or open a tab?”

As she slides your sweat clad glass across the bar toward you, Joel leans across you, closer to the girl on the other side. You can feel his hand find its way between your shoulder blades, running it up to the backside of your neck. A chill runs down your spine, causing a hitch in your breathing.

“Put it on my tab.” He shouted, and although he was just mere inches away from you, his voice still sounded so distant over the music and people talking.

The bartender raised her eyebrows and gave him a curt nod, quickly making eye contact with you and giving you a sly smile. Your heart fluttered at the gesture, even though a part of you knew this probably meant he wanted something in return. At this point, it was something you were definitely willing to give if he continued to play his cards right.

“Thanks,” you say quietly, not even sure if you spoke loud enough for him to hear you. As he pulls away, the two of you lock eyes, and you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to suppress your smile.

“A lady as pretty as you should never pay for her drinks,” he responded confidently. You could feel your cheeks fill with heat.

Joel is now peering down over you with dark eyes, his left forearm laying against the wooden bar to support his body, and his other hand still loosely wrapped around the side of your neck. Goosebumps spread across your skin as he slowly rubbed the pad of his thumb over your soft skin.

You look up at him with wide, innocent eyes. He has his lips slightly puckered as he traces his eyes along your skin. You watched as the muscles in his chest twitched. A burning sensation begins to burn deep inside your chest; you didn’t know how much longer you could take this. At this point, you didn’t want him, you needed him.

He let his hand glide down the side of your neck, over your shoulder, and then down your arm before retracting it, grabbing his glass of whiskey off of the table and taking a smooth, long drag. You continue to watch him with your swollen bottom lip tucked between your teeth, subtly bobbing your head along to the music.

“What do you do for work?” Joel’s voice has changed now, it’s much more lustful than before, and you can tell that he’s trying to hide his desire. His throat bobs as he swallows. You were glad you weren’t the only one feeling this way.

“I work in an office.” You try to steady your breathing, not wanting your words to come out shaky. “I’m an assistant to the company’s CFO.”

Joel’s eyebrows twitch as he nods, looking down at his drink and swirling it around a few times.

“That sounds—“ His voice is hesitant.

“Super fun,” you cut him off and say in a sarcastic tone. “It totally is.���

Joel breaks out into a wide smile. You’re positive he chuckled, but it’s hard to be certain over the noise. You look down at his hands and see some dirt clinging to his arm hair. Construction? Maybe a contractor?

“And what do you do?” You say, grabbing one of his wrists and running over the dirtied spot with your index finger. He quickly pulls back, rubbing off the dirt with his other hand. Pink spreads along his cheeks.

“Christ, that’s embarrassin’… seems to never come off no matter how much I clean m’self.” His tone is flustered as he continues to try and remove the stubborn dirt. “I’m a carpenter, though; I work alongside my brother.”

“Mhmm,” you hum, chewing slightly on the inner flesh of your cheek. “So… does that mean you’re good with your hands?”

You question him flirtatiously, looking back down towards his big hands. Your comment makes Joel choke on his drink, his cheeks growing an even brighter shade of pink now. Your eyes dart back up to his face, this time you don’t break your gaze away from him, watching as he tries to hide his smile from you.

“I— I guess you, you could say that,” Joel manages to get out, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck and rubbing the side.

His well fitted shirt strains against his bicep, causing you to become distracted by Joel’s physique again. He is well in shape, likely due to his line of work; he has toned arms, broad shoulders, and nice chest muscles that the fabric of the shirt clings to. Without much thought, you begin to run your eyes along his body, your eyes meeting with the sliver of skin just above his pant line that’s exposed. Your eyes wander even lower when Joel suddenly hooks his finger under your chin, a smirk planted on his face.

“You’re trouble.” He leans in close, only leaving a few inches between your faces. You look up at him through your brow line, the corners of your lips curling upward. You love where this is going, soon all of your desires will be met, and he will be all yours.

Just as your eyes flutter shut, Joel is yanked away from you. A man with dirty blonde hair has his hands around Joel’s shoulders and is shaking him back and forth. Joel is very clearly perturbed, his face twisting up in frustration.

“Joel,” the man drags out his name with a wide grin, clearly he’s had one too many drinks tonight. “I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for you… a couple guys from the job site are here ‘n wanna play pool. Whatdya think?”

Joel flashes you a quick smile before turning away from you and saying something to the man. Whatever he is saying appears to be causing conflicting emotions between the two of them. As they begin shooting back and forth, a feeling of insecurity quickly comes over you, causing you to turn your head away and look out into the crowd of people dancing.

As you take a small sip of your drink, Joel firmly places his hand on the small of your back, making your stomach jolt. You quickly turn your head back toward him. His mouth is near your ear, and you can feel his hot breath tickling your skin. The sensation causes heat to begin pooling in between your legs. You gulp.

“It was a pleasure talkin’ to you, darlin’,” his voice is smooth as honey and seductive. “I hope to see you around.”

Before you could think of anything to say back, Joel already had his back toward you, walking away accompanied by his friend. You’re stunned by his quick exit, your fingertips pooling with blood as you grip onto your drink glass. There’s no way I misread that entire situation, you think to yourself, left somewhat confused. Why would he leave like that?

The conversation was just as quick to end as it started, but it— he— left you wanting more. A sense of clarity came over you, a fire burning deep in your chest. You wanted more.

A voice inside your head echoed with “no, don’t leave” as you watched Joel disappear into the crowd. You could not move to make your deepest desires come true, and even if you could, did you really want to be the sex crazed person chasing after someone you had just met? As he fully disappeared, his scent lingered where he once stood—a faint smell of dirt, whiskey, and sweat. You thought it was strange that the combination was quite a turn on for you, but it was the indication of a hardworking man— and that was sexy to you.

All you could think about was how badly you wanted Joel. The way your body reacted every time he touched you was unlike anything any other person had been able to make you feel. The way his voice drew you in and his eyes hypnotized you. All you wanted at this moment was to see him bare, hovering over you while sweat dripped off of him and his face twisted with pleasure as he filled you up with his girth. You want to moan his name over and over as he explores your body, desperately wanting to know how his tongue would feel swirling around your swollen, throbbing clit that begged for his touch.

Closing your eyes, you bring yourself back to reality. You let go of the air that you had been holding in your lungs, your chest burning as it escapes. Being this attracted to someone was definitely not on your bingo card for this trip. Bringing your glass up to your lips, you steadily draw in the liquid, desperately trying to calm yourself down.

“Bitch,” the faint sound of your friend’s voice comes to you as a relief. They come up to your side, looping this arm around your waist. They have their eyes narrowed at you, a slight smirk appearing the longer the two of you look at each other.

“What?” You feel your eyebrows twitch.

“Who was that handsome fella you were just talking to?” They’re full blown smiling now, looking past you in the direction Joel went. You try to fight your smile, but ultimately fail. Your bestie begins to laugh, grabbing onto your arm and causing the heat to return to your cheeks.

“How long were you watching?” You suddenly feel shy, covering your face with one of your hands.

“Well, I wasn’t just going to come up and ruin whatever was going on… unlike that bastard that pulled him away from you.” They narrowed their eyes once again, obviously upset about what happened. “So, what’s his name?”

“His name’s Joel,” you say, leaning in closer to them.

“Oh,” their eyes widened. “And are we hoping we see Joel again tonight?”

You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, dropping your eyes down to your glass as you run the moistened tip of your index finger around the rim of your glass.

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling to yourself. “I hope so.”

dividers are from @saradika | link

banners were made by me :)

[sageteapost]

hello!

May I request that you do a cloud strife x reader where the reader uses duel blades? These blades actually have short range and long range attacks and ( with enough force) can propel the reader forward? I would like them to meet in the scene where Jessie is seeing Biggs and wedge on bikes, but they see an extra bike and that’s the readers? The whole scene plays out and the reader is super badass, pulling enemy’s back with their duel blades and throwing them into a wall. Then after, they talk a bit and find out that they are a SOLDIER aswell..? IDK if this could be written so I’m sorry I’m advance if it can’t so feel free to tell me if you can’t!

| Cloud Strife & A Dual Blade User Reader |

[ Cloud Strife x GN! Reader ]

TW & CW + Tags: Violence (not super detailed). Mentions of firearms and blades. Reader is a SOLDIER as well. [No relationship mentioned. GN! Reader.]

Summary: A small fic of Cloud Strife meeting the reader who uses duel blades and eventually finds out that they are also a SOLDIER as well.

[(A/N): Hey there anon! My apologies for the late reply to your request. Not gonna lie, the reader gives off a bit of Ignis Scientia from Final Fantasy XV! I was in a mood to write a small fic for this one. I'm not sure if you wanted a fic request, if not let me know! As always, enjoy!]

"Looks like we got more company!" cries Jessie, Shinra infantrymen catching up close behind the others. The smell of rubber creating friction on the road was strong, and the roar of the motorcycle echos throughout the tunnel. "Quit moving around, or you'll fall off the bike," Cloud says while maintaining full attention on the lit road ahead of him.

"Hey Cloud! Take care of them, will ya?!" Biggs yells as Wedge holds onto Biggs for dear life. "We cannot let them ruin the mission!" Cloud hums in acknowledgement, making a cue for Jessie to take over driving the bike. She responds swiftly, and Cloud makes a leap onto onto one of the infantry's bikes and quickly taking him out.

"You!! Avalanche scum!" shouts an infantrymen, moving his bike closer towards Cloud so he can strike.

"Not so fast!"

A sharp object swiftly flys into the back of the man, earning a shout of pain from him and losing control of his bike.

Cloud makes a face of confusion for a moment, but before he could do anything he hears a motorbike pull up from behind, breaking him from his thoughts. "You guys abandoned me back at the meeting place! I was looking for y'all everywhere!"

Cloud turns to his left, and he sees you. As you're fighting one last infantrymen with your blades, your (H/C) hair lights up from the bright overhead lights in the tunnel, your mako green eyes are as sharp as a hawk, and he notices the daggers on your side as you slam the infantrymen hard into the wall.

The biggest thing he notices instantly however, is your outfit. A SOLDIER uniform, actually.

"Sorry (Y/N)! I thought you were right behind us the whole time," Jessie says with a sheepish laugh. "Glad you caught up with us! You would have missed out on our SOLDIER boy there! He's badass, don't you think?"

You turn your head slightly towards Cloud, making eye contact with his mako green eyes. Cracking a small smile, you reply, "Oh no, I saw. He's pretty good!"

Cloud quickly shifts his eyes back to the road. "C'mon. We're almost at the end of the tunnel."

"Right. Let's get a move on!" Jessie shouts out with pure energy.

...

Mission success! Now it was time to get the hell out of there and go home. Before you could drive off on your bike, Cloud stops you.

"Nice job back there."

You look at him in confusion, before replying with a smile. "Thanks, just what I do. I could say the same thing about you too." Cloud hums quietly, before asking, "...You're a SOLDIER, aren't you?"

Your smile drops just a tad bit and your eyes drift away from his. "That obvious, huh?"

"It's the uniform. And the trademark mako eyes."

"Right. Figured you should have known, since you are one too."

"Ex-SOLDIER. I'm just a mercenary now. I quit a long time ago."

You chuckle lightly, the cool night breeze of Midgar brushes away a strand of your hair. You look up towards a mako reactor, its bright light beaming up into the night sky. "It's getting late. We should go home," you say.

"Right," Cloud adds moving away from your bike and hopping on to his own and starting the engine.

"Wait," hearing your voice and looks up. "I never got your name. Who knows? We might meet again someday."

Cloud stays quiet for a moment. Only the sound of the humming engine fills the brief silence between the two of you. And with that, he finally replies.

"...Cloud. Cloud Strife."

[chaioticcoffee]

Crosshair x Reader

Warnings: small bit of blood, death of reader bc idk

tags: angst that's it

A/N: uuuuuuh yeah idk why I wrote this idk 💀 it wouldn't leave my mind tho

Reader's gender isn't specified

I mostly wrote this as practice so yee I hope you still enjoy if you want to read this!

Repeat Until Death

_______________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Pain was the first thing you registered as you came back to your senses, as well the slowly numbing cold underneath you.

You struggled to breathe, trying desperately to get your mind back on track to assess your situation clearly. When your eyes finally opened you were hit by the blinding white snow you were laying upon. Your vision drifts further ahead, where your lightsabre lays, behind it was a dead body.

That's when it all came flooding back- you running to Crosshair after his sniping position was revealed, the rest of the Bad Batch too far away so you would have had to handle it yourself. You had no idea just how many troopers there was going to be. You could tell that there were both Clone and Storm troopers going against you, overwhelming you in numbers just like they did Crosshair, who was already down when you got to him.

'Crosshair.'

Your mind reminded you as you force yourself to push through the pain, pushing yourself up with shaking arms, finding that your legs didn't seem to want to cooperate. You let out a weak frustrated breath- it might have been from the pain, or maybe both. You look around as fast as your weak body allowed you to, your eyes finally landing on Crosshair who you found sitting with his back leaning against the rough bark of the tree behind him. You recall him struggling to keep his upper body upright, later using the tree for support so he could help you fight against the troops when it became apparent that you had walked straight into their trap.

Slowly but surely, you crawled your way to him. It was painful, it was straining, but that wouldn't stop you. You had to make sure he was still alive.

Only once you've reached his left side did you allow yourself to take a moment to breathe. Your body was trembling from the strain and from the cold, your previously cauterized wounds from the blasters having opened somewhere along the way to the man you loved.

"(Y/N).." your head snapped to Crosshair, whose head was now turned towards you, expression hidden by his helmet. He immediately saw your shaking body and slowly reached out to you, managing to pull your body close to him with your help and moves to encircle you with his arms as best as he can manage so to keep you as warm as he can.

His armor thankfully tanked most of the blaster shots impacts but unfortunately 3 shots made it past the armor- once in his side, another in the stomach and another that was just below his lungs. It's truly already a miracle that he's still alive and you know very well that he won't stay for long. To be fair, you weren't in a better shape specifcally regarding the fact that you, in fact, did not have armor on you. Your consciousness was already slipping and you could tell that it was the same for Crosshair.

"Maker, it hurts so bad..." Your voice cracks, you clench your eyes shut and Crosshair's heart shatters. "I know.. I'm sorry, I wasn't- able to protect you like I should- have." His own voice was unsteady and he sometimes had to stop shortly to catch his breath.

You shook your head to tell him it wasn't his fault. One solution came to mind, which will inevitably drain you of your energy a lot faster, but it would give Crosshair a larger chance to survive until the squad came back.

The bright sun and the purple-blue sky contrasting with the snow was truly a beautiful sight, the 2 moons of the planet and the bright stars only adding to the beautiful scenery. Crosshair just wished he could have enjoyed it with you under different circumstances. He tightens his grip on you, bringing your body closer to his while all he could do is wait for both of you to run out of time. "I guess- I'll see you on the other side then, Cyare."

Why did he sound like he was crying? Why could you not open your mouth to respond to him? 'I'm not ready yet.' You thought you had more time with him- there were still so many things you wanted to talk to him about. Unfortunately, Crosshair had already succumbed to the darkness as soon as he had finished his sentence. You knew he was still alive, and you wasted no time in using your life force to slowly heal his injuries as your head buried itself deeper into the spot between his neck and his shoulder. You were fully aware that you weren't going to last until his wounds fully healed, but it was worth a shot, right? Is you saving him a bad idea? Is he going to hate you for making him live on without you? No. This is for the best. You just wished you had more time. More time to talk together, to tell him you loved him, to explore planets together, to be just you and him against the world.

Dying was inevitable, you had learned that early on during your training as a Jedi.

'I'm sorry for leaving you Cross... I know I promised I wouldn't.' Your inability to talk kind of frustrated you, but you grew so unbelievably tired that your frustrations were immediately forgotten, it being replaced with the fear of having to leave your beloved so soon. Through the tears you were trying to fight the darkness that threatened to engulf you. It was pointless, and even with your best effort, your eyes slipped shut once again.

_______________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

"Over here Tech!" Hunter called out with a tone of urgency as he made his way to Crosshair's and your position after finally having defeated the enemy reinforcements they had sent. The closer he got the clearer the scent of blood and smoke became, a clear indication of a fight having taken place nearby.

When they finally reached the site, the batch allowed themselves to take a moment to process the view. It was truly a massacre. Dead bodies lay scattered all around and near the middle of it was a trail of blood. Just by looking at the pattern and the displaced snow around the trail of blood can one conclude that someone had crawled to wherever the trail was leading to. Hunter followed where the trail lead to with his eyes and that's how he spotted 2 very familiar figures, you in Crosshair's arms. Hunter allowed himself to panic just this once and he, Tech and Echo ran towards the 2 bodies that were huddled together while Wrecker stayed behind with Omega and tried his best to comfort the poor child as she couldn't hold back her tears at the sight of you both. If it wasn't for Hunter's enhanced hearing, he wouldn't have heard Crosshair's shallow breathing nor his weak heartbeat.

He doesn't think he'll get that mental image of you two like this out of his mind any time soon- Crosshair and you holding each other close, hoping to gain any kind of warmth and comfort while you both waited for death to take you.

All Hunter could do right now though is hold onto you while Tech accesses Crosshair's injuries, ignoring the look Tech gave when he did so. It was obvious that Crosshair shouldn't be alive, and Hunter had a hunch as of how he had survived this long.

[nientedal]

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers (if you would like to)!

adsl;fjadf you sent this forever ago WHOOPS

this is actually weirdly hard? I'm proud of all the stuff I've written, for different reasons. but my FAVORITES. oh man. okay, in no particular order....

Swansong. I poured my soul into this thing in ways that have nothing to do with the obvious subject matter, which is hilarious!

Port of my Call. I was not expecting to write fic for The fucking Punisher, but I wrote this one out of SPITE, and I'm actually quite pleased with how the character voices turned out.

Monotremata. No idea why this one is in my top 5 (and while this list is in no particular order, it shares its position with long as the day in the summertime). Maybe because there are a lot of feelings, plus cuddles, plus care, plus communication? Also I think this is the first one in which I have Roxanne or Minion express love towards the other verbally, but don't quote me on that.

Wake Your Sleepy Soul. I want to say this was the first soulmate AU I wrote. I was not expecting to enjoy writing soulmate stuff AT ALL, let alone as much as I did with this one!

With Every Heartbeat I Have Left. It was very nearly Mischief, and then very nearly Into White, but I think Heartbeat has to be the last one I include in my top 5, if it has to be just 5. I wrote Mischief in 38 days at a dead run (it is a MIRACLE I didn't kill my wrists all over again), with only one scene even slightly pre-written (I stole a bit from the draft that eventually turned into The Job that's in Front of You), and I'm really proud of that......and Into White started out as fuckin TAGS here on TUMBLR and it became probably the softest thing I've ever written, and I love that. But Heartbeat, man. Heartbeat carried me through a nervous breakdown and a shattered hand, and it is both soft as hell and desperately angsty, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

A lot of what I write turns into like.....two-act fics? Idk, but I think the stories hit a point where you're like, okay, surely it ends here! But nope, there's a whole extra fic tacked onto the end, because (1) I can't leave well enough alone and (2) I'm not trying to get published. I went around and around and around with Heartbeat, trying to decide if I should cut it at Chapter 13. And I dunno, maybe the story would be stronger if I did. But it wouldn't be as complete for the characters, and it wouldn't leave ME alone, and if I made it be a separate sequel fic, I would never actually finish it. So. Shrug emoji, you get long-ass fics that maybe should stop while they're ahead.

Not sure why I'm detailing all that in response to this ask, but whatever, it's half one in the morning and I'm loopy af <3

[marvelous-imagines]

Please

Eli "hawk" moskowitz x reader

Request: ok! if you get too busy or don’t like the idea you don’t have to do it...but would it be possible for you to do a Miguel or Hawk imagine where the reader and him (either boy is either) get into a fight and they accidentally hit the reader cause of ✨karate✨and then they have to apologize and stuff and maybe it’s like...fluffy idk...if you don’t want to do it that’s fine! No pressure! <3

Warnings: language. Angst. And fluff at the end because I'm all soft for eli🥺

Tag: @klt123456

You stormed into your boyfriends bedroom slamming the door, face flushed with anger while you pace the room. Eli watched you with a cold hard stare, arms crossed as he huffs out a un-amused chuckle.

"shouldn't I be the one pissed? Considering you're the one who was hanging around that jerk!?" hawk growls, causing you to scoff and shake your head. "you was flirting with that - that asshole! All night!" he yells, walking closer to you.

You only roll your eyes and glare at him. Thankful his mother wasn't home to hear his loud yelling, "I wasn't flirting with him! I was hardly even talking to the guy!" you retort, voice raised as you stare at him, watching his anger grow. "and what words I did say to was about me and you Eli!" you tell the truth, for you told the random guy about eli and your relationship.

But the man who your boyfriend claimed you to be flirting with was insistent with his flirting toward you, one of the reasons you waved Eli over in the first place. But he was a stubborn hard headed hot head after he joined that karate class he always tells you about.

"then why the hell did he have his hands all over you? Why did you let him do that!?" eli yells stalking closer to you, his eye's alight with anger, rage rolling off him in burning waves. You actually felt a little intimidated by him and let your anger soften a little, trying to calm down.

"I didn't. That's what you're not understanding!" you spoke through gritted teeth. The man just slung a arm over your shoulder and started getting a little too friendly for your liking. Why you waved your boyfriend over.

"what you're not understanding is that you shouldn't have even talked to the asshole in the first place!" he exclaimed, clearly getting even angrier. You sigh deeply and shake your head.

"I'm going home until you calm down..." you say calmy, heading for the door until he graps your wrist and spins you around, hard blue eye's glaring down at you.

"you're not leaving until this is settled!" you huff out a frustrated breath, fed up with his attitude.

"there's nothing to settle Eli, not until you stop being a childish asshole" you said, venom dripping from your voice as you angrily pry his fingers from your wrist, in a attempt to leave. But when you done so he done some sort of move making you flip and land on his floor hard on your back, the wind knocked from your lungs. You stare up at your boyfriend with a frightened, betrayed look. This was not your Eli... Eli would never do something like this to you, at least you thought.

When you met his gaze, his blue eye's was wide with a horrified expression. He was quick to crouch down beside you, reaching for you. But you backed away, standing up and running out fthe door. You heard Eli yelling for you, pleading for you to talk... But you left his house. Tears swelling in your eye's.

You wasn't hurt, you pissed he'd do that, you was pissed at cobra Kai for corrupting your sweet shy Eli into an ignorant asshole who thought karate was the key to fixing everything. Like tonight at that stupid party he dragged you to, if your shy sweet Eli saw a man flirting with you, he'd take you home and calmy tell you what he was feeling, taking care of the situation calmy, he'd see you push the jerk away and cling to his side as you reassure him he was the only man for you.... But the new Eli... Hawk, he saw everything different, he saw the man wrap a arm around you and assumed you was madly in love with the stranger, he saw the chance to use his flashy new fighting skills and took it. Showing off his new self. You hated it.

A solid week went by with you ignoring Eli, not answering his calls or texts, distancing yourself from him at school or anywhere you saw him actually. You even had to ignore poor Miguel because he tried getting you to talk to Eli. But you didn't want to, not after what he done.

That's how you ended up walking home alone from school, bag slung over your shoulder as you kept your eyes glued to the sidewalk. But the sound of approaching footsteps caught your attention, you look behind you to see aisha. She walks beside you steadily. You sigh and already know what she's hear for....

"look, I have no idea what happened between you and hawk... But maybe you should try talking to him? He's really upset, he's even missing karate class" you look over at her as you stopped walking. That was a bit of shock, Eli skipping lessons like that.

"he's not been showing up for his lessons?" you ask, a curious brow lifted at her.

She nods, "he hasn't showed up for a week now, even sensei Lawrence is concerned about him, maybe you should call hawk, try working things out?" aisha told you. But you wasn't gonna forgive Eli that easily, just because he was skipping karate doesn't mean you'd forgotten what he done to you.

"maybe sensei Lawrence should give him a call, because I'm not letting Eli forget his mistake that easily" you grumbled, aisha sighs and follows you to your house.

"what did he even do? It can't be that bad!?" she said a little loudly as you got ahead of her. You stopped walking again, nearly home as you grip your backpack strap hard.

"he freaking body slammed me aisha! It's pretty bad" you state with frustration. Aisha's eyes widen as she catches up with you.

"why the hell did he do that?" she asks, starting to side with you on this one. You opened your mouth to answer her but no noise came out, you stared at your porch steps at where the familier man sat, his head resting in his hands as he bounced his knee, his anxiety getting the best of him.

You groan and March over to him, trying to ignore him as you head for the steps, but he stood up fastly and looks at you with big pleading eye's, his expression one of pain and regret. You felt your heart ache for him, for you remember this look on him all to well, the nights you spent holding him in your arms as kids words from school about the scar on his lip got to him...

You push those thoughts away and try to pass him, but he stops you gently, his shaky hand softly grasping your hand. You yank your hand from his grasp causing his heart to break right there, his eye's showing the defeated pained look that action caused.

"get out of my way hawk... Go home or whatever" you grumbled quietly while staring at him with a look over anger.

He sighs, a little frown on his face. He knew he messed up big time when you called him hawk, something you never called him, ever. "I'm sorry y/n, I'm so sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to do that... It was a reflex -

"don't go making excuses for practically body slamming me hawk, now move and get lost" you try and make him leave by putting up a angery facade. But it obviously wasn't working.

"please y/n! I'm sorry, what I did was stupid, how I was acting that night was stupid and nothing will ever make up for what I did, I know that but..." he sighs, looking down as his lip trembles. Pain embracing your heart at the sight, you hated seeing Eli cry...

"I can't leave without you y/n, I know that sounds cliché... But it's true, I didn't realize how enjoyable life was when you were in it... But when you left? When you're gone... It's miserable, a living hell because I can't stand not hearing you're voice or seeing you're face - I miss you y/n, so fucking much it's killing me not being near you... Please just give me a another chance " he spoke with tears slowly falling from his blue eye's. This was Eli, not hawk the big badass karate champ, but sweet, sympathetic, vulnerable Eli moskowitz. "please" he muttered.

You stare at him, eye's roaming his face. You look into his blue eye's, the eye's you've gazed in for nearly 3 years. You look over his adorable nose you've made a habit of kissing whenever he'd get stressed or frustrated over anything the action always melting his heart. Then lastly you look over the scar on his lip, the scar he hated with a passion. You've placed many kisses on that scar, telling him it wasn't seen as a flaw in your eye's, but a beauty mark, something that made him characteristic. All of that took place in the years before he went to Cobra Kai. The years you both was madly in love...

"eli... I'll never forget what happened that night, you acted like a total asshole, you overreacted over something stupid because you let anger and jealousy get the best of you, and you hurt me. Not only emotionally, but physically and that's something I'll never forget" you said with a through growing frustration. Eli's eye's already showing the way his heart was shattering at what he thought was you breaking up with him.

"but... That doesn't mean I'm just going to leave you, sure I may be angry but I'll never stop loving you Eli....but if you ever pull a stunt like that one more time... I won't be as forgiving." you say while giving him a serious look.

Hope fulls his eye's while he gives you a ghost of a smile. "it will never happen again, I swear y/n I'll never let no one hurt you, not even myself" he muttered. You sigh and walk closer to him. Delicately cupping his cheeks as you look up into his eyes, you then lean in and kiss his nose. His eyes fluttering closed as he let's a breath escape his lips.

"I love you Eli, I'll always love you and only you" you murmur as a smile tugs at your lips. His eye's open again as he smiles down at you.

"I'll always love you too babe, I'm sorry for being such an asshole...." he looks down as his smile turns to a frown. You make him look up at you by tilting his head up.

"let's put it behind us Eli, there's no point on dwelling in the past when there's a future ahead of us" you say, knowing guilt was eating away at him for what he done. And sure, you was still bothered by what he done... You knew he had alcohol in his system and wasn't thinking straight. And like he said, you knew it was a reflex.... Why hold one mistake on the man?

"okay..." he muttered with a smile, you smiled back and kissed the scar on his lip. He melts in your touch, while you both just stood there.

And as months went by, Eli stayed True to his word. He didn't let anyone hurt you, not even himself. He showed others hawk when you wasn't around, but when you was by his side. He was the shy sweet Eli you had fallen in love with.

[odetogyus]

wait

↳pairing/s: idol boyfriend!yugyeom x fem!reader

↳genre: angst (w/ a happy ending lol), idol!au

↳warnings: profanity, mentions of alcohol consumption, trust issues

↳song: wait by maroon 5

✎author's note: idk what I was going through when I wrote this but this was from my 2018 archive and I think this baby needs to see the light of day,, so here it is!

—

"The concert should be done now," you thought to yourself while staring at your phone.

Since your brother's wedding was in 2 days, you didn't have time to fly to Toronto to see your boyfriend and his group perform. You've been on a few tours with them– sometimes working as a stylist for Yugyeom and the whole team. JYP himself even sends you an extra ticket to every single country the boys go to just in case you wanted to come with, but this time however, you had to stay home to help out with your brother's wedding.

It's been almost 3 years since you started dating Yugyeom. What started out as a very unexpected interaction at a dance showcase, later bloomed into something so beautiful. Your relationship wasn't always pretty. In fact, it's true what they say about the first year; it definitely is the hardest.

You've seen them grow, not just as artists but as people, too. You've built such tight relationships with each and every one of them, even the staff members. GOT7 was a family and you were over the moon to be a part of it.

After a few hours of waiting, you decided to take a hot shower before taking a nap. It was a tiring day for you and your family. The wedding was in 2 days and there were a lot of things left to do. You also knew very well that the boys come out exhausted after every show, and so you fought back the slightest feeling of worry in your head and fell into a deep sleep.

–

You woke up to the sound of your phone going off.

BREAKING NEWS

MEMBERS OF THE KPOP GROUP– GOT7, WERE SEEN AT A CLUB IN TORONTO AFTER THEIR CONCERT. MEMBERS MARK TUAN, JACKSON WANG & KIM YUGYEOM WERE SPOTTED HEAVILY INTOXICATED WITH 3 UNKNOWN WOMEN JOINING THEM AT THEIR TABLE. NO OFFICIAL STATEMENTS REGARDING THE INCIDENT HAS BEEN RELEASED BY JYP ENTERTAINMENT.

People you knew and didn't know were tagging you everywhere. Every photograph, every article, they all had their eyes on Yugyeom, and they all had their eyes on you, too.

Your brother's fiancée barged into your room shortly after the news broke out. She was always there for you, and the relationship you shared was a very special one. You trusted her, and you never hid anything from her after the first time she saw you cry.

"Y/N," your almost sister-in-law cooed. You both knew that it was very unlikely of Yugyeom to act that way, but then again, the people surrounding them aren’t always angels. No one really is.

Just then, the name you've been waiting to see finally popped up on your screen, but this time, you weren't sure if you had the guts to answer him.

"Should I answer?" You asked, sounding miserable as ever. Tears escaped your eyes, glistening like broken glass when the sunlight hits the surface.

"You need to hear it from him, Y/N. I'll be in the kitchen, let me know if you need anything."

Accepting the call, you swallowed hard enough and prepared yourself for what could either be the most painful truth you had to hear, or the biggest lie ever you had to believe.

"Y/N.. hey, please let me explain," Yugyeom's voice was incredibly raspy and shaky, and you knew damn well that he was in tears. It's only been a few hours since the incident, so it was safe to say that he was still quite hungover. You knew they were well taken care of, but what happened cannot be rewritten again. What's done is done.

"Go ahead," you answered. Holding back your tears is always the hardest when you know that you have no choice but to endure the pain.

"We had a few drinks, and we had fun. We had so much fun. The boys and I, the staff. Me and Jackson hyung tried the hose thingy, it was so– cool– but, but I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry–"

"Do you just.. wanna talk when you’re not like.. this, Yugyeom? Because if you're gonna keep doing this, I might as well just hang up and talk to my fucking wall–"

Oh, the theatrics of a brokenhearted beast.

"No.. stop, listen to me, I'm trying to explain!"

"Okay, then do it," you said angrily. The tears from your eyes were flowing down uncontrollably. It was so painful that you couldn't even hear anything else but the sound of his lies breaking you continuously.

"Mark hyung joined us, and we got so drunk, and next thing you know, these random girls sat with us at the table. I don't remember a lot but– I think one even bit my neck– it hurts, and she– I think she sat on my lap but I think I tried to push her off but I passed out. I don't really remember anything else–"

"You know, Gyeom? Sometimes, I wish you knew what it's like to be the one that patiently waits for you to come home, hoping that the worries in your head just disappear. How could you be so irresponsible? Man.. how could you do this to me? To us?"

"Y/N, you know I love you more than anything else but for fuck's sake, will you please believe me? My head hurts so much and you're acting up! Jesus!"

Yugyeom knew not to push your buttons, but in that state of his, he pushed it all, not missing one.

"Well, if that’s the case then I’m sorry. I’m sorry for caring too much, and for being all up in your business all the fucking time. Have fun remembering how you got that stupid hickey of yours, I’m done–"

"No, you are not hanging up on me, Y/N. It was a mistake, okay? God, my head is killing me and I just.. need you to believe me. I drank too much, and I know it’s bad, but I swear to fucking God, I didn’t do anything to hurt you. I would never hurt you. But you need.. to stop being difficult.. you’re making things worse here–"

The tension grew even more. You were both screaming your lungs out at each other, thousands of miles away from the other.

"Really now?" You spat bitterly. That was it for you. The last straw. "Well then, I know my brother invited you to the wedding, but don't bother showing up. I don't want to see you."

Your harsh words must've hurt Yugyeom so much, that his screams of anger just managed to slip out of his already worn out body.

"You're really throwing this all away– huh? Almost 3 years worth of memories? Just because I made a mistake, just because I don't remember everything that happened to me while I was intoxicated? You think I wanted those girls to come close to us? You're so– Y/N, you really think I wanted to hurt you, don't you? So now.. you do this? You're really breaking up with me? On the phone? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Trust, Yugyeom. Trust. You broke the most important thing we built. Do you know how hard it is to do this? To date someone like you? People send me death threats, Yugyeom. Just because I decided to be with you. Do you even know how I feel? Do you know how Mark's girlfriend feels? How Jackson's girlfriend feels? Because I do. We all fucking get it!"

"Okay, trust. But let me ask you Y/N, if things were so difficult, why are you still here? Why date me when you could've left? That's what you wanna do anyway, right? You wanna leave, you wanna be free, right?"

But it’s not freedom if it’s not with you.

The bitter taste of surprise was too much for you. It was never meant to hurt that much, but it did.

"Wanna know why I'm still here, Yugyeom?"

"Why," he spat coldly.

"Because I thought that– loving you, oh god, I thought that that was more than enough to believe that we'd make it. But at this point, maybe we're both just better off alone. Separate ways, Gyeom."

Yugyeom let out a faint laugh. The most painful laugh one could ever laugh. A laugh of defeat.

"You're really doing this, huh? This is what you want? You're really doing this to us–"

"You don't need to show up at the wedding.. I'll just, tell them about us after. We'll meet when we're both ready to talk. Be safe."

"Fuck this, Y/N. Fuck–"

And with that, you hung up.

Your heart was broken once again, not by the same person, but because of the same reason you kept your heart safe and hidden in the first place.

Trust.

Yugyeom was your true love. The man you believed to be was your person. The person you entrusted your fragile self to. The person you needed.

But maybe he doesn't need you.

Putting your phone on silent, you cried yourself to sleep, wishing you'd never wake up.

—

wedding day.

Your eyes were still tired and gloomy, but you were better. You haven't heard from him since the fight and although it hurt you too much to be that person to hang up and end things, you knew better than to mope all day and question your existence.

"You look so beautiful in that dress! I'm so happy you chose that style! It's just perfect," your brother's soon-to-be wife exclaimed. She was the one who held you tight when your heart broke for the wrong guy, and she was also the one who held you when Yugyeom couldn't. It's safe to say she's the sister you never had.

"Thanks, I'm happy to be here. I'm so excited for you and my brother. I don't know what you see in him but I'm thankful you stuck around."

The bride smiled with tears welling up in her eyes. "You stick around for the one you love, Y/N. Even when the storm hits and everything falls apart, wait it out, then love again."

The wedding venue was everything you imagined it to be. A beautiful pathway to the garden, red and white roses everywhere, and photographs of your brother and his soon-to-be wife hung from the stringed lights wrapped around the tall trees to create the most beautiful ambiance.

Your quick peek of the venue ended since it was almost time for the actual ceremony. You were one of the bridesmaids, and you had to be wherever the bride was.

From afar, a tall figure walked towards the venue in a red suit. His dark hair complemented his outfit, and his handsome face was the cherry on top of it all.

Yugyeom showed up to the wedding a few minutes before it actually started. He took his time exchanging words of happiness and support to your brother. Yugyeom's relationship with your brother started out like any other brother – boyfriend relationship, but the two ended up being very close friends. A few moments before announcing the beginning of the ceremony, Yugyeom found his way to his seat. He sat close to the front, but in the corner.

The ceremony began, and every second felt longer than it should have. Closing your eyes, you took slow, but steady, steps to the podium where your brother was. You both agreed to welcome the bride with your whole family present next to him.

dirty looks from your mother

never seen you in a dress that color, no

it's a special occasion

not invited but I'm glad I made it

He looked at you like it's the first time he's ever laid eyes on you. His heart thumped like crazy, seeing how your hair fell perfectly down the length of your spine, in a red dress that exposed most of your back. Yugyeom couldn't resist every urge to kiss you. Every thought of you possibly breaking up with him completely made the poor boy pale. He was madly in love with you, in every possible way, that losing you meant losing everything to him.

The moment you stood next to your brother, your eyes met his. The eyes you hated to look into, but missed the most. Yugyeom stared at you for a long time, before you both snapped out of the trance only you two were in. You saw him mouth a "wow" before facing the bride and giving her a hug.

Walking to your designated seat, your mind went crazy just imagining how hard it would be to keep your composure when Yugyeom would literally be inches away from you.

"Beautiful," Yugyeom said in awe as you sat next to him. "You're beautiful, Y/N."

Without looking at him, you extended your gratitude. "Thank you, Yugyeom," was all you could say.

You both tried so hard to focus on the wedding. For the most part, it felt like no one else was there. You were in the moment, and so was he.

The exchange of vows was definitely something. Every word your brother and his wife exchanged was pure love. And deep down, you prayed that the love you needed was Yugyeom's.

oh, let me apologize

i'll make up, make up, make up, make up for all those times

your love, I don't wanna lose

i'm begging, begging, begging, begging, I'm begging you

As if on cue, Yugyeom held your hand without looking at you. His hand was shaky, and so was yours, but you didn't pull away. You held onto him, too. You held onto him like your life depended on it, and you held onto the person that longs for you the most.

"I do," your brother speaks into the microphone, looking at his woman. Yugyeom holds your hand even tighter, saying the same words your brother said, loud enough for you to hear it. Only you.

I do.

The bride reciprocates, and tears immediately stream down your face as the rush of emotions take over you.

Not wanting to lose the love of your life ever again, you follow suit, and said the same words the bride said. Only for you and Yugyeom, it meant something else. Only something the two of you could understand.

I do.

You both stood firmly, not letting go of each other, when the officiator finally said the words everyone wanted to hear.

You may now kiss the bride.

Not wasting a precious second, Yugyeom pulled you into a tight embrace, holding your head against his chest. His lips planted kisses at the top of your head, and suddenly everything was right in the world.

The scent of his perfume was home to you, and it made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry," Yugyeom whispered, still keeping you in his arms.

"I'm sorry, too, Gyeom," you answered, trying hard not to let the tears roll down your cheek and ruin your makeup.

Yugyeom finally kissed you.

He kissed you without stealing the spotlight from the newly weds. He kissed you softly, but it was clear that he longed for it. For you. He kissed you just the way you needed to be kissed, reminding you that he is yours in full surrender.

"I love you, Gyeom."

You finally meet his gaze. The prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and he really was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you."

Wait it out, then love again.

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 6

Warnings: None

Tags: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

I sat on my bed, phone in hand trying to think of what to say to Kyotani. I would type out a few words then immediately delete it, because it sounded really dumb or really desperate. "Why is this so hard?" I groaned. I could say whatever to Iwaizumi and Oikawa and it wouldn't bother me later on, but with Kyotani...I just really don't want to mess this up. I looked back down at my phone screen, took a deep breath and typed.

Me: Hey Kyotani, it's me Y/n, did you make it back home?

I held my phone to my chest, I didn't even want to see the speech bubble pop up. But when it did, and my phone dinged, my stomach did a backflip. I looked at my phone.

Kyotani: Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah? That was all he typed? I sighed slightly, well, he never was a man of many words.

Me: That's good. So, about coming over again. How does tomorrow night sound?

"Wow, way to be clingy." I mutter.

Kyotani: Sounds good.

I blinked a few times. "Whoa really? That worked?"

Me: Cool! I'll see you then.

Kyotani: See ya.

I let out a weak sigh and fell back onto my bed. Before I fell asleep I went back to the texts and changed Kyotani's name to:

🐶Mad Puppy🐶

He might have the personality of a feral wolf, but he could be as cute a little puppy. I smiled softly before drifting off to sleep.

Your P.O.V

Your alarm jerked your awake early the next day. With a groan you sat up and turned it off and checked your phone, you gasped when you saw what day it was. "It's Saturday!!" You cheered before flopping back down on your bed. It might be immature for you to act like a child when it came to the weekend, but Jesus did you hate waking up early to go to some boring classes for eight hours a day. Besides, you had a very important day ahead of you. Tonight was the night you went over to Kyotani's place for dinner. The grin on your face only grew wider. "It's like a date...only his mom is going to be there too..."

Speaking of moms, you needed to tell your mom you wouldn't be home early tonight. "Oh great. She's never going to get off my back over this." You sighed. You got up and changed out of your pajama's and into some comfy clothes before heading downstairs. Your mother was just on her way out it the door once you got to the bottom of the stairs. "Hey mom!" You called, making her stop. "Yes sweetie?" She turns to face you. "Um, is it cool if I go over to a friends for dinner tonight?"

"Hm? You mean Iwaizumi?" She asks. "No, not him."

"Oikawa?"

"No."

"...uh, then who?" She mutters.

"A new friend. Remember that intense guy I told you about? His name is Kyotani." You tell her. "Huh, I see. Well first I'm happy that you're making new friends sweetie." Your mother smiled. "But are you sure this "intense" guy is a friend? I just want to make sure you're not being bullied."

"I'm not being bullied. He is a pretty angry person at times but, he's actually really cool too." Your mother took a minute to think about it. "Alright, you can go. Do apologize to them for me. I won't be there."

"You won't?" Your mother shook her head. "I work late tonight. I won't be home until midnight. Which I expect you to be home before then, understand?" Your mother raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I promise. I'll tell them." Your mother pats your head and opened the front door. "Good, I'll see you later." She waves before leaving the house. "Of course you're working late again." You mutter as you walk into the living room. It never use to bother you as much before, but the more you thought about it and the more you watch her leave, the more it bothered you. She was always working, even during the weekends. You two hardly ever talked at times. You sat on the couch and decided to watch your favorite show to pass the time.

After a while, your phone dinged.

Shittykawa: Heeeeeey L/n-Chan! Wanna hang out? I'm free all day~😙

. . . . .

Shittykawa: Don't ignore me!😫

You: That was my answer.

Shittykawa: Your answer was pure silence?

You: Yeah. 😒

Shittykawa: Whatever.🙄 What are you up to?

You: Lazying about. Something you would know well huh, Lazykawa?

Shittykawa: So. Rude. What about later tonight?

You: Can't. I have plans.

Shittykawa: Liiiiike?

You: What's it to you?

Shittykawa: Come on! The least you can do is tell me!

You: Uggggh! I have dinner plans with Kyotani ok!?

. . .

You: Shittykawa?

Shittykawa: YOU HAVE A DATE WITH MAD DOG!?

You: It's not a date!!!

Shittykawa: Really? You? Him? Dinner??? Is it not clicking L/n-Chan?

You: His mom is going to be there, dumbass.

Shittykawa: I just can't believe it... You. And Mad Dog??? Of all people???

Me: What's so wrong with that?

Shittykawa: First, I can't believe you chose him over me 😭 Second, he's not exactly the ladies man. He's more the, scare and intimidate everyone he comes in contact with, man.

Me: Oh shut up Shittykawa. Kyotani's cool. Now if you'll excuse me, he's texting me right now. So I'm gonna get to that if you don't mind 😡 Besides, we all know you gay af.

You didn't bother to read what Oikawa texted next.

Mad Puppy: Hey. You still on for tonight?

You: Yeah totally! I'm really looking forwards to it.

Mad Puppy: Cool. My mom's been pestering me about it all fucking morning. It's like she's trying to play matchmaker. It's ducking creepy.

Your heart twinged a bit at that.

You: Oh yeah? Sorry to hear that.

Mad Puppy: It's whatever. Just telling you ahead of time, she's gonna keep this up the whole night. I just know she is. Anyway, I'll call you later ok? I gotta take Killer on a walk.

You: Ok. Talk to you later.

You bury your face in your hands. You had a feeling that tonight was going to take a lot out of you.

Later that night you stayed close by your phone, just waiting for that call from Kyotani. You had already gotten ready ahead of time, just so you would have to be in a rush later. You wore a short (color) dress with leggings.

(I know that must suck, but give me a break idk what outfit description would satisfy you all lol)

You didn't want to be super dressy but you didn't want to look like a bum in front of Kyotani and his mom. Speaking of, your phone lit up as the ringer went off. You scramble to pick up your phone before answering. "H-hello?"

"Hey, just checking in. You all ready to go?"

"Yep, I'm ready. I'll be over soon."

"Oh uh, actually...I'm on my way to your place....I didn't want you to walk alone at night."

You held back an "aw", you knew it would make him mad. "That's really nice of you Kyotani. Thank you."

"Yeah, I just figured you'd feel more comfortable if you were with someone. Anyway, I'll be there in a few."

"Ok. I'll see you then." You hung up and held your phone to your chest, the brightest smile on your face. Who knew Kyotani could be so nice? You never thought that you would have fallen for someone who looks pissed 24/7, but here you are.

Shortly after, Kyotani was knocking at your door. You took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hi." You say softly. "Hey." He responds. "You ready to go?" You nod and walk out the door before shutting it. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, my sister will be there too." He tells you. "Really? What's she like?"

"She's a l bitch." Kyotani says bluntly. "Oh come on." You laugh. "Is she really that horrible?" Kyotani nods. "Yep." You just rolled your eyes. You didn't have a brother or sister, but you understood that siblings would pick fights and "resent" each other from time to time. "Is your dad gonna be there too?" Kyotani remained silent, his eyes narrowed. "No." Oh....You decided not to press for more questions, not yet at least. You didn't want to ruin the night by bringing up touchy subjects.

Before you knew it, you were at his home. Kyotani knocked on the door, which was immediately answered by his mom and Killer, who was barking and jumping on you. "Oh, look at you Y/n! You look stunning! Doesn't she Kentaro?" His mom gushed. Kyotani nods. "Come on in! Dinner is just about ready!" You thanked her before stepping inside. At the table was a girl with black hair and the same yellow eyes as Kyotani sat. She wasn't really paying attention to anything or anyone, aside from her phone, which she tapped away on. "Natsuki, we have a guest. Put that thing down for once!" Her mom says as she walks to the stove. Natsuki sighs heavily and puts her phone down. "Hey." She mutters. "You my dumb little brother's girlfriend or something?" You and Kyotani's faces turn red.

"Shut your trap, Natsuki!" Kyotani growls. "She's way too pretty for you, mutt." She smirks. "I said shut it!"

"Both of you shut up!" Their mother yells. "Sorry about my two idiots Y/n." She smiles. You just wave it off. "Uh, don't worry about it." Kyotani and Natsuki's mother set down a very delicious meal on the table. Everyone sat down and gave thanks for the meal before digging in. "Wow. This is really good!" You say as you take another bite. Kaori smiles warmly. "I'm glad you like it. You should take some home for your family. I may have gotten carried away and made a little too much. I was just so surprised that my son brought over such a sweet and beautiful young lady!" Kyōtani grumbles a curse under his curse. Your face warmed up. "I'm kinda surprised myself." You admit.

"Same here. Ken has always been weird. Never thought girls would be interested in him." Natsuki says bluntly. "Tsk. And I never thought guys would be into you, guess I was right, huh?" Kyotani counters. The two siblings were caught in a glare off with each other. "I say cut it out, both of you!" Kaori hissed.

The rest of the night was filled with conversations about school, and marriage, much to Kyotani's dismay, and just causal convo. There were more compliments about how nice and cute you were from his mom, and some questions from his sister for you like "so how much did my brother pay you to hang out with him?". They had to be one of the most chaotic family you've met, but you did enjoy their company. It was getting late, time for you to head home. Once again, Kyotani walked you home. "Thanks again." You smile softly. "Yeah, sorry about my mom and sister. Must have been exhausting." You shook your head. "They were great. I had a really good time tonight. Make sure you get back home safe ok?" Kyotani nods. "See ya." He turned ad walked away.  You wave before walking inside your home. Your mother still wasn't home, you decided to head up stairs and catch up on your favorite anime.

While watching, your phone dinged. You looked down to see a text from Kyotani.

🐶Mad Puppy🐶 I had a good time too. Night

You smiled and texted back.

You Good night 😊

Previous | Next

[ofmermaidstories]

Spoilers for the latest chapter of Something!

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now because this is long; please feel free to ignore my wordy ass, I just have a lot of feelings about a certain someone that showed up in the new chapter lol.

I am still trying to get my shit together enough to write a proper review, but I did want to come yell at you for making the grape boy somewhat likeable, like...

Firstly, how??? Secondly, why?????!?!

Lmao, in all seriousness tho, it's nice to see him have a personality that isn't just "Mmmm, tits" *drools* I like to think that everyone in the series grows up and (mostly) out of the worst of their habits, and while Mineta is still a bit of a lecher here he isn't nearly as offensive/creepy as he comes off in show. In fact he's actually sympathetic in a lot way. The bit about seeing his first dead body before "getting laid" hit different like... He tries to play it off like a joke, but dude has to have just as much PTSD as the rest of them, maybe even more given that he wasn't able to fight back in the same way as someone like Bkg or Deku would be able to with their super powerful offensive quirks. They were all just kids, but they had to face hell full on from jump, and let me stop before I get too in my feelings lol.

In a lot of ways, he reminds of you the boys from school — crude. Taking for granted the safety from being in a pack, unchallenged. Leering at posters, saying off-colour things because no one corrects them.

That's exactly the way I view him, just a crude little thing that refuses to be put in his place for long lol. Still, with his being a hero I would hope that he keeps a cap on it while he's on the job--in fact I'm sure he does; if he didn't I'm sure that Aizawa would've yanked his licence by now, the likes of Deku and Kiri wouldn't continue to associate with him, and that's saying nothing of the shit that would get posted to social mead and such. I feel like the only reason he says what he says to the Reader is b/c she's a little gremlin herself and he knows he's got a bit more leeway, yanno?

The little hangout session that they had at the end of the chapter was weirdly heartwarming?? I want a friend(???) that I can be a surly little shit with and draw on and that will call my bf that's not really my bf but should be my bf because he's (that is Mineta) got more emotional intelligence than me lmao. Never thought I'd see the day when the grape would make for such an excellent wingman--tho I gotta wonder what that text he sent to Deku said. Probably something along the lines of "come get yo girl, she must be bored/lonely af because she asked to hang out with me" followed by "are you ever gonna close the deal or not? or have you already hit it??? >:)" just to give the guy an extra push (or maybe he's got a better sense of self-preservation than what I give him credit for, idk lmfaooo...)

Okay, this is WAY too long, I just had to get it out of my system lol. I loved the new chapter lots and I cannot wait to see how things play out in the next one!!

LOL, oh Puck, i adore you sdlkfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

me being a shit-stirrer/asking myself questions i don’t have answers for under the cut

Cat asked me this question earlier today, actually — why Mineta. And honestly? Part of it is the challenge he represents — like, how do you write him into a fic and mature him up so that he’s at the very least, tolerable, but also keep the backbone of his character (which is being a little degenerate). Like, is it possible? One of the most popular tags on ao3 for mineta minoru is something along the lines of “mineta minoru is replaced with shinsou hitoshi” LOL so…….. why didn’t I just use Shinsou? Or Aoyama or Iida, as Cat suggested? And beyond the part of me that delights in giving myself perceived challenges, there were two stark reasons that stuck out to me, when i was first mulling over his inclusion.

1) the fact that he can draw. it’s literally as simple as that. ever since the BNHA exhibition opened up in Japan and it was revealed that there was a scene in there with a class blackboard and the kids having their little drawing competition — and that Mineta was objectively the most skilled — i was like, “i have to include that”. LOL. it’s like you say, Puck, our Reader is a little gremlin herself — i thought if I was going to write a Reader that could handle interacting with him (ie, be in a position to pay him out) it was going to be this one. I think being in the manga industry and starting out on this journey of creating and drawing a Shonen manga sort of put Reader in this unique position of… being in what seems like a boys’ club? So she’d be used to the male gaze within her field. I follow Horikoshi’s assistant (former assistant?) on twitter and let me tell you, that man is not shy about the things that he likes to draw LOL.

the 2) thing was the philosophy i’ve sort of accidentally given myself LOL and that’s the fact that — as a Bakugou stan, if i’m giving grace to a character who was a literal violent bully then………. i can use my magic powers and hand it around to the other characters, too, LOL. and like, i would argue that with Bakugou it’s different, like we’re currently seeing in the manga how he has grown and learnt and is actively changing, which is the key to any kind of redemption. do i think Mineta will ever undergo that in cannon? absolutely not lmao, i see him as being being Hori’s idea of comedic relief, he’s always going to be a horrible little degen. but i want it for him…… if only to justify why the boys of Class-A collectively ignore his bullshit, for the most part? Like, none of them actively call him out on it?? i think of the time he tried to climb the wall to spy on the girls in the onsen — and how it was literally only Iida scolding him and how it took a child to stop him. Or the one when he found the stupid hole into the girl’s changing room and while the boys all looked grossed out….. Jirou’s the one that point an end to that?????? I saw a TikTok (derogatory) suggesting how like, none of the girls of Class-A would trust Aizawa, as adults, because he didn’t do anything to put an end to Mineta’s bullshit, and it was a devastating suggesting. None of us want to believe that our favourites would be passively okay with this kind of behaviour, right?? Which means……. Mineta’s gotta change LMAO. And if Hori isn’t going to do it then imma borrow him and do it myself. Does it work? I have no idea LMAO i can’t judge anymore, my meter is broken. but i’m gonna work with what i’ve given myself and it either will, or it won’t LMAOOOO kldsfjlksdjflkdj fic is about having fun at the end of the day. :’)

But it’s like you point out, Puck — Mineta is also a child, when these kids get trotted out to their first War. And he’s also not as offensively built as the hard-hitters like Deku and Bakugou and Shouto are. Even if it’s not explored in the manga, that War is going to change them all somehow.

So, my gameplan for Mineta was to grab ahold of the tiny things about him — the talent for drawing, the like one [1] observation he has about the wreckage of the war/pro heroes during the war arc, his tears for Bakugou when B wakes up afterwards and how he tells Deku how cool he was and how much he admires him, in the current Bring Deku Home chapters — and try to envision a sleaze bag who learns that the bullshit he pulls won’t be tolerated, even if he’s still ultimately a skeeze LOL. i mean, he’s never going to drop that er…. appreciation for the female form. and i mean, hey, live your best life King, i’ve distinctly noticed a hand-fetish floating around on this site lately so i’m not gonna be like “NO men can’t like ANYTHING”. But the thing with him being a sleaze and open with his leering is like, he’s actively made the girls of his class uncomfortable with that in the past — how do you write it so that he’s not doing that in a position of power with the women he works with (and saves!), as an adult?? Maturity only goes so far. How much can I bank on the war and the subsequent bullshit they’re gonna face from it on…. transforming him??? It shouldn’t be up to the girls he’s learning with to police him, they’re just children. I have a vague gameplan for it — whether or not it works will be one thing; whether i can naturally shove it into the fic is another, LOL. Guess we’ll see. 🧐

SAYING ALL THAT,,,,, i’m actually really glad you liked (???) the ending scene with him because it’s my favourite LMAO lkdjflkdsjflkdjfkldsjf. 😭😭 Reader is by no means perfect, and she and Mineta both need to start treating each other with more respect, but her bullying of him was fun to write and I like imagining a Mineta who considers himself to be close with Deku (whether or not Deku thinks the same is up for debate) going along with it. i could see this version of Mineta being enough of a shit-stirrer to say something like, “gotta lock that shit down” to Deku LMAO kdfjlkdsjflkdsfjdklsfj and then getting left on a skyscraper somewhere…. RIP short King.

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [Finale]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!AU (mostly platonic idk)

-> Warnings: Abuse mentions, Like Two Sex Jokes, Yelling

-> Genre: Angst, Fluff

-> Word Count: 1.6k

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: Okay so the more i wrote this the more i realized it was more platonic than anything and also it barely fucking features felix and i’m just very unhappy with it i suppose ... maybe in the future i’ll rewrite idk i’m really sorry for this i kinda hate it but i’ve been working on it for so long i didn’t want to make people wait longer

Soon, the bell rang once more and you turned your head, finally making eye contact with those red eyes you'd been longing to see for weeks.

"Fe!" You nearly stumbled forward as you rushed towards the hybrid, your heart leaping as you reached out to-

"Don't touch him!"

Karen's shrill voice was like an invisible wall that was keeping you away from Felix. You almost shrunk back as she yelled, but you stood tall. The Hybrid Services needed to see that you were strong and fully capable of taking care of Felix and you were determined to do just that.

You only looked at Felix expectantly. He went to walk over to you, but was stopped with an extremely harsh tug on his leash. He hissed at Doug, who was talking to an HPS officer with a hardened gaze.

Karen, on the other hand, walked coolly up to you. "What's your problem?" She sneered.

"My problem? You're hurting Felix."

"We're just disciplining him," She rolled her eyes, "Sometimes a savage animal needs a few hits to get the rules in their head. Felix plays too many games that we don't feel like dealing with."

"Then why do you keep him?"

"Have you seen the boy? He's gorgeous. He's won multiple awards and thousands of dollars at Hybrid Shows. A bit of pain is worth the prize."

It was your turn to roll your eyes. "He's gorgeous, yeah? Is that why you felt the need to cover his bruises with makeup? I took care of Felix for two months and he never caused any trouble. He was polite, respectful, thoughtful, and never once did he need to be 'punished'. He's not the problem- you are."

"Why you-"

"Mr. and Mrs..." An officer called the couple away from you. He began showing them all of the messages between you and Felix- proof of their wrongs.

You, on the other hand, turned to the cat-boy and finished what you started, throwing your arms around his torso and squeezing him tightly. In return, Felix only stiffened up. He didn't know where to put his hands, choosing to rest them on your shoulders as his chin laid on the crown of your head. You only got a few seconds of alone time before another pair of arms wrapped around the two of you.

"How sweet, a reunion! I'm sniffing out a kiss and some 'I missed you' sex later on- OW!"

Felix's hand went from your shoulder to Sylvain's stomach, stopping him in his sentence. "Go fuck yourself."

"Only if you watch me~"

You laughed, pulling back from the hug and looking over at Ashe, who was now engaged in a conversation with one of the HPS officers. You were more than thankful to have him at your side. Ashe had gone through the same little trial to get custody of Sylvain, so he was more than willing to help you get Felix out of his shitty situation as well.

Ashe had explained to you how Hybrid cases worked. Evidence would be presented to officers or a Hybrid Facilitator, such as Nancy, and they would make the call as to what happens next. You would be presenting evidence of Karen and Doug’s abuse to them and asking for Felix to be placed in your care. Lucky for you, Felix could speak on your behalf as well since he had stayed with you for two months.

You were scared. Felix was a big boy. He hid his emotions and stayed strong throughout the shit that his owners put him through, but even the strongest people have their limits. Unfortunately for you, Felix was still a hybrid. Legally considered an animal and treated as even less.

You couldn’t give him the freedom that he deserved, but you would try your damn hardest to give him a happy life.

You nearly teared up thinking about it and Felix must have noticed, for amidst his and Sylvain’s bickering he subtly placed his hand on the small of your back. It stayed there when the officers gathered everyone together, letting both sides present their cases. You spoke first.

“Two months ago, I found a little black and white cat in a dumpster. He was cold, hungry, and unhappy. I took him in and learned later on that he was Felix. Felix stayed with me for two months. I was under the presumption that he was kicked out of his old home- that was what he had told me, anyways.” That earned you a glare from the man beside you. “But I sheltered him for about two months, waiting for someone to come looking for him. They never did, so I took him here to get some papers filled out and make him legally… mine.”

You spat out the last word. God, did you hate the idea of having a human as a pet. Felix’s thumb brushed your back again, providing you with his own quiet form of comfort and amping you up to continue.

“I came, got some papers, and left. I should have known that he would have had papers under Doug and Karen’s name, but since I believed that they no longer wanted him, I went ahead and took ownership. Then they came up to my door later that day and took him. He had actually run away from them.

Felix put up a fight at first- he didn’t want to go. I gave him Sylvain, the other hybrid’s, phone so that he could still message me if he needed anything. The minute he left, he sent me a voice recording of those two screaming at him in the car. Since then, all of those messages had been sent as evidence that Karen and Doug have threatened him and harmed him emotionally, verbally, and physically. I want Felix to stay with me. They called him a behavioral issue, but I know how to treat him. I’ve never had an issue with him. Ever. I want full ownership of Felix Hugo Fraldarius.”

Nancy nodded and pointed to the couple, who were fuming on the other side of the room. Karen practically stormed up to Nancy and the officers, her face redder than Sylvain’s hair and voice more annoying than Sylvain himself.

“She obviously stole Felix from us!”

“What the fuck?” Said hybrid suddenly interrupted. An officer shushed him and motioned for Karen to continue.

“Felix is an award-winning, purebred Fraldarius tuxedo cat. He’s won thousands of dollars in prize money and trophies and awards, so of course a lower class girl like her would want such a high end Hybrid. He would win her money. She could have easily turned him into the facility, but she didn’t, so she stole him from us!”’

Karen had a point- you should have turned Felix in, but you couldn’t. The little cat had wormed his way into your heart more and more every day- even if he was kind of an ass in the beginning.

He still is an ass, but a little less now. You knew that when his arm moved from your back to around your shoulders, thumb now soothing the skin there.

“Wh- I didn’t even know he was a show cat until you two showed up and told me!” You defended. His hand gripped tighter as if already trying to hold you back. You were rather ready to tear this lady to shreds, honestly, so he was helping.

“You’re such a little liar- and those videos, too! They’re obviously fake. You don’t deserve Felix, you deserve to be jailed for stealing our precious prize!”

“Prize?! You don’t even see him as a real being with feelings and emotions or anything! Look-“ You suddenly licked your thumb, turning around and swiping underneath Felix’s eye. “He’s got bruises that you gave him and hid. Your face and fist are in that video. I’ve got selfies I took of him and I when he was in my care- there are no injuries, so they obviously happened in your care.”

“And how do they know you didn’t use makeup to hide the bruises you gave him?” Karen accused. God, she really was going the extra mile here. “Listen, little bitch, Felix is ours and he will be if I have to pry it from your little dead fingers.”

“You won’t lay a hand on her.” Felix speaks up. He turns to Nancy and sighs. “I wasn’t going to say anything because my pride heavily prevented me, but I am afraid of Karen and Doug. They have abused me in the last few years that I’ve been in their care and I can’t do it anymore. I can recount every single instance where they have harmed me and I will gladly do it if it means I can get the hell away from them and go with people who actually treat me well.” His face stayed straight as he spoke, his eyes hardened in a desperate attempt to show everyone how he wasn’t affected. Felix never was one to show his feelings- you were proud that he did this.

The officers, who had stayed silent for the entire time, looked at each other.

One sighed and spoke up. “You two are under arrest for Hybrid cruelty and will be investigated further and punished as charged.” He turned to you, “Do you mind if we keep the phone for a while to extract evidence?”

“I mind-“

“Not at all.” You cut off Sylvain, “He can go a little longer without his phone. He needs to go longer.”

The officer thanked you and led the two away, nearly kicking and screaming.

Nancy watched as they left, typing some things into her computer before standing up. “If any of you can follow me to the back, I need to put the proper information on a new collar tag.”

Ashe volunteered and dragged Sylvain back with him, leaving you and Felix alone at the front. You turned back to him and slipped your arms around his waist once more. Felix looked around, making sure nobody was near before holding you back properly this time. A purr erupted from his throat- quiet, but soothing as your ear was pressed against his chest.

“You’re coming home, Fe.”

“I’m already home right here with you.”

[rogue-barnes-16]

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"

[ilkkijangege]

123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

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22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

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24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

.

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

.

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

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1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

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5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

.

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

.

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

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11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

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14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

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18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

.

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

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27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

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28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

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6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

.

13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

.

17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

.

18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

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20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

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21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

.

26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

.

27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

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5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

.

15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

.

16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

.

24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

.

3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

.

12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

.

14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

.

19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

.

08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

.

16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

.

19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

.

9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

.

13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭