#Idk i do think I could ramble about pretty much anyone LMAO

[riwooga]

Your Bailey post was a really interesting read lol a lot of it I didn't even think of! Characterization straight up 10/10. Have any other characters you have thoughts on in the same way?

Oh goodness thank you I'm so honored you think so!! 💕 I definitely don't think it's a 10/10, but I'm happy you do!

But I mean oof gosh I think I could probably go into rambles about pretty much all of them?? Some more of a long spiel than others sure.

It's one of my favorite pass times especially with my sibling to just sit and ramble over characters and why I think they are the way they are lmao.. The more complex and broken the more my heart latches onto them 🤧💕

But man idk i guess if anyone has someone they wanna hear my rambling about... Let me know?? Idk I guess I never thought anyone would interested in it!

Also unsure if you mean with the whole just diving into their character or making it a whole looking at their dynamic with PC thing?

[sleepyjuice]

him accidentally hurting you during sex 🥺🥺

this is somewhat self serving bc this has happened to me 🫣 idk if this could be triggering to anyone but this does involve pain during sex. anon I’m sorry if I made this way too deep lmao 😭 endometriosis girlies unite!!! this shit ain’t for the weak !!!!

“Fuck, fuck, takin’ me so good, baby.” jj groaned as he pounded into you from behind. His hands had a firm grip on your hips, your ass in the air and face in the pillows, the loud sounds of skin slapping skin filled the small bedroom.

You had been going for awhile, already had two orgasms and jj was currently working on giving you your third, and he was getting pretty close himself.

He quickened his pace as your moans grew louder, your pussy clenching around his cock, the euphoric feeling making your stomach twist and fill with a deep heat as you approached your orgasm.

Sweat was dripping down his forehead as he tightened his grip on your hips, pushing himself even closer to you to get himself slightly deeper into you.

Things were great, you were quite literally about to finish when his dick thrusted into you ever so slightly at an angle, causing you to yelp loudly in pain, your knees giving out beneath you as it quite literally felt like your cervix was sucker punched.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, ow! Stop! jj stop!” You managed to let out, your eyes squeezing shut as you attempted to ride out what felt like a period cramp on steroids, your breathing staggered.

jj immediately halted all movements, pulling himself out of you the second you told him to stop. He had originally thought that your knees gave out due to pleasure, but he now realized it wasn’t that at all.

“Shit—What’s wrong? What happened?!” He asked, now fully panicked, moving himself closer to your face, gently pushing your hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you.

You fought back tears, forcing your eyes open to meet your boyfriend’s panicked ones, his eyes darting all over your face and down your body, expecting you to be bleeding or something with the way you had sounded.

“I don’t— fuck, I don’t know what happened but that last thrust felt like you punched or- or stabbed me in the cervix. Jesus Christ.” You groaned, attempting to take deep and slow breaths, but not move yourself too much because there was still that deep aching pain inside of you.

“Jesus…I-I’m so sorry, baby,” jj cooed, one of his hands hesitantly rubbing ever so slightly at your bare thigh as his other cupped your cheek, “that’s never happened before, I don’t know what I did. Do we need to like, go to the hospital? Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He rambled on, his heart racing in fear that he seriously messed up your insides, but he did his best to stay as calm and collected as he possibly could, not wanting to freak you out more than you already were. He didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had.

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” You whispered after a moment. You could read him like a book, he was beating himself up over this. The lightness of his touch showed just how scared he was to hurt you.

“I think it’s just my endometriosis,” you sighed, your breathing slowly becoming more steady as the pain began to subside, “just hit a sensitive spot or somethin’.” You explained, reaching up to hold his hand that was holding your face.

He watched you carefully, eyes closing at your touch before fully laying down beside you and pulling you into his chest. He rubbed a hand down your naked back, his head resting atop yours as he kissed into your hair.

“Scared the shit out of me, baby…” he spoke after a moment, feeling your body begin to relax against his, continuing his soft and gentle touches on your back.

“It’s okay, the pain is starting to go away.” You assured him, his warm chest and his soft touch being the best comfort you could possibly ask for at the moment.

“That’s good, sweet thing. You wanna get up soon and we can take a bath or somethin’? Or you just wanna lay here some more?” He asked softly, peppering more sweet kisses onto your head.

“Mm, just wanna stay here a little bit longer. But I’m down for that bath later, though.” You hummed, curling into your sweet boyfriend.

You would definitely want a do-over later on once you were feeling fully better, but you would bring that up later, as jj was surely scared to ever be inside of you again.

[cchallucination]

Just a stupid ramble

I don't care what ANYONE says, Drew totally has some sort of cursh on Jake; Henry and Liam know abt it too. You might think: but he's dating Zoey, he can't be gay. (Well he was dating Zoey lmao, they broke up in the most recent episode)

BUT NO.

Being closeted is a thing. There's a chance that he's gay and just has some internalized homophobia, so he dates Zoey as a way to 'prove' he's straight. Also, throughout the series it is shown how shallow this relationship is, and just how little they seem to like each other. And Zoey is literally a gold digger and cheating on him sooo…… ALSO IN EPISODE 6, when Jake sees him in the mall and goes to hide from him, DREW LOOKS SO UNHAPPY, PROB CUZ JAKE "COULDNT" COME

Okay now that that's out of the way…. Even if he was gay, Jake is just his best friend, how would you think he has a crush on him?

PERFECT EXPLANATION FOR THIS.

In episode 5, in the starting scene in the cafeteria Drew gets annoyed when Jake isn't listening to him. He also acts Jealous over Jake thinking abt the music club, saying, AND I QUOTE "Y'know, I'm starting to wonder if you prefer their company over ours." You can't tell me that isn't showing blatant jealousy over it!!! Then Henry mentions that it makes Drew sound Jealous, and Drew BLUSHES tell's him to shut up, then AGAIN I QUOTE "I'm just saying, you used to care to listen to me." ME. He wasn't talking about him, Liam, and Henry when he said that, just HIMSELF!!! AND THE LOOK HE GIVES JAKE AFTER JUST…IDK IT SCREAMS JEALOUS BOYFRIEND ENERGY. Also then they start discussing how Jake is doing the competition to confess to Daisy, and when Liam is talking to Jake telling him to just confess normally, DREW LOOKED SO SAD. I MAY JUST BE DELUSIONAL BUT HE FR SEEMED SAD ABT IT. Then Jake has to leave cuz he's going to be late for music practice, and Henry (our fav character <333) says, once again I quote, "Don't look so blue, Drew. I know it must be sad to see your boy running off to the music freaks, instead of into your arms" and Drew blushes AGAIN. Alsooo its worth mentioning that Drew is rarely seen smiling. But every time he IS smiling (with maybe ONE exception), he is with Jake!!! ANOTHER THING I FIND THAT REALLY SUPPORTS THIS THEORY. Drew acts supportive towards Jake's crushes, but it seems like he only is when he feels like Jake won't get with them. Like with Daisy!! In episode 1, when Liam tells Jake he should just ask Daisy out already, Jake says he's "waiting for the right moment" (When someone says that u know damn well they ain't doing it) And Drew doesn't think he's actually going to do it, saying, and I quote, "You've been waiting for the 'right moment' for years" if this comment doesn't show you that he clearly doesn't see Jake taking a step to get with Daisy, then idk what else could. But Drew see's that Jake seem's to be taking an interest to Hailey, he doesn't act the same way. Well, at FIRST he does. Once again, I'm using episode 5 to support this lmao, when Jake is distracted during the game, Drew and Liam come up asking why he's making them lose blah blah, he looks over to where Hailey is and pretty much puts two and two together. He teases Jake in the moment, clearly thinking nothing will come of it. But when he sees they are spending more time together, he gets angry over it. Also when Jake says he doesn't like Hailey in this scene, his "Okay" comes off as so angry lmao. Also in episode 9 (the episode that genuinely makes me wanna kms /hj) When Jake is acting all blue, and finds out it's about Daisy, he seems SO annoyed over it. (Though, to be fair, it could be bc he justs wants to spend some time with his friend without him moping abt shit, but still.) When Drew says "Are you singing for Daisy, or for Hailey" He doesn't seem happy about either option fr. When Drew gets reminded of how Jake is singing for Daisy for Hailey specifically, two girls he thinks Jake likes, he has angry outbursts (once again, bro is so jealous) Drew doesn't even bother to mention Zander by name, his anger is clearly just about how close Hailey and Jake have gotten. And what about Daisy? Her and Jake barely ever speak, so Drew isn't nearly as bothered about that.

OKAY. That's all I feel like writing, but there is quite a few more examples throughout tmf that could support this theory!! Just a note, unless Drew has a redemption arc and becomes less judgemental and controlling; this relationship would be toxic, and I understand this. I don't want Drake to become canon (Well if drew has a redemption arc..then maybe I do…) and I don't believe it has any chance of becoming canon, though I really do think that there's a possibilty of Drew liking Jake. Which makes me rlly feel bad for the dude even if he is sort of an asshole :(

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

hiii i got a little insane over haskills characterization in the other elder scrolls games / material. teehee rambling abt these ^ quotes under the cut (long). also im not that serious abt any of this tbh im just glad haskill appeared in any other elder scrolls material at all LOL

OKAY. okay. about these quotes. idk why other TES media does this, but in these quotes from elder scrolls legends + the interview with haskill it seems like the writers are pushing to give the impression that haskill slightly resents or is even indifferent to his position / the isles / sheogorath ?? (unless haskill is being a little bit more flippant or hyperbolic than usual...?) which is characterization that is NOT what i got from playing oblivion at all skdskdjfn

like... when i played oblivion i thought it was very clear that haskill prefers to be in the isles, serving sheogorath, more than anywhere else. (<- i think this is actually the reason he's technically "mad" even tho he seems sane outwardly. if you enjoy being among madmen it probably means you're mad yourself ykwim). i think haskill does like the isles, his ass is just reserved abt it, like he is about everything... yknow just like jeeves, whose character he's been compared to lmao:)

i think unfortunately some writers take his annoyance with the player and his slight second thoughts about sheogorath's plan in oblivion, and mistakenly assume that he's just annoyed at his whole position. haskill does have his moments of exasperation, but the thing is it's usually only exasperation and it never verges into anger or bitterness or resentment like the top quotes seem to indicate. for example, haskill says this abt his idea of you mantling sheo / the clowns debacle:

^ This quote is a good reference point for haskill's view on sheo bc its pretty much the most critical-of-sheogorath quote from oblivion i can recall, and it tells us a lot of things. in this quote he expresses some exasperation about the clown idea (because he's a prissy bitch who doesn't want to get his outfit dirty /affectionate) and shows some apprehension about one of his lord's ideas (because it involves you, and haskill doesnt like you). but these 2 points he has beef with aren't really reflective of sheo himself but of other issues - ie he doesn't directly question sheogorath. and IN THE END Haskill defers to sheo's judgement because haskill trusts him and values sheo's ideas. in all of his oblivion dialogue, this is the most critical toward sheogorath he gets, and he never outright insults or shows resentment toward him or the isles like in the above quotes bc his loyalty to sheogorath eclipses it

on the contrary (and i dont know why the writers for non-oblivion elder scrolls content dont seem to see this??), theres so much evidence that haskill actually does, you know,,, enjoy being in the isles. here are just some snippets i can think of:

"the isles are hardly a place for anyone, really" <- i BEG to differ, Haskill likes it here, he likes listening to prisoners being tortured in xedillian, he likes wearing his ridiculous frilly high collar outfit emblematic of the fashions of the isles, he doesn't care about morality and it suits him just fine that it doesn't matter here!! (the end quote might be him being a little facetious about relmyna but to be honest i wouldn't be surprised if he thought decency and morality WERE provincial notions because he certainly has no problem killing people lmao). and again, to enjoy doing these things / being around madmen probably says something abt haskill being mad himself. lol

not to mention he likes a bit of joking around. which i imagine sheo does a whole lot. when YOU rib him a little he says this:

his derision in the first bit i think indicates, "i cant believe you would joke around at a time like this," and the upturning of the "very good" i think indicates, "it was a good joke / maybe they could mantle sheo after all". he's not all dour - he appreciates a good joke, especially from (someone who's about to become) his Lord!!

and going a little deeper into haskill actually liking the isles... haskill clearly holds what sheogorath and the isles represent (chaos, free will, individuality) very highly. a good example of this is when you ask him about dyus, and he gives this snarky reply:

^ he says this with such VITRIOL its so funny :p and the amount of disdain in this line indicates (to me) a real conviction in his belief in the free will, chaos etc that sheogorath represents.

this is why i dont think this quote makes sense. "i cant remember why i put up with [sheogorath]" <- haskill wouldnt say this bc he understands fully why he puts up w sheogorath, and his own convictions in sheo that lead him to keep doing it, and even if this quote is him being hyperbolic, i dont think he'd joke about his faith in sheogorath like that because, yk, one of his characteristics is that he's extremely loyal, and moreover he never said anything to this effect in oblivion sdkjskdjs

him having a strong belief in what sheogorath / the isles represent is also evidenced by the language haskill uses when talking about sheo. whenever haskill mentions him, there is an element of poetry and respect to his words that shows that haskill thinks about him highly at the very least:

^ haskill constantly stresses sheogorath's intrinsic unknowableness and power and unique wisdom in a way that feels very respectful. saying "to attempt to fathom [sheogorath's will] is a foolish endeavor" shows that he knows there are unexplainable aspects to sheogorath that he takes note of, respects, and knowingly keeps his distance from... he gets sheogorath and reveres him (at least more than most others or the HoK). in these quotes especially, it feels a bit like hes trying to illustrate how impressive sheogorath is to the HoK, hyping up his boyfriend if you would. who said that. and combined with this respect is (i believe!!!!) a deep care. he is invested in the isles and sheo and wants to help them out of more than just duty. he gets fearful and even loses his composure at some points in the story when sheo/the isles are threatened which i think indicates that he deeply cares for them both!!:

i think this is a care that, combined with the respect he has for sheo, makes it really unlikely for him to get more than exasperated with his behavior and verge into resentfulness. i dont think anyone truly understands sheogorath, not even haskill, but haskill respects sheo as a god, and also gets him in a more familiar/personal way i think - like the way that a cat owner loves their cat but gets exasperated with it when it gets its head stuck in a tissue box. he doesn't angry or anything because he understands that it's the cat's nature to get stuck in the tissue box / sheo's nature to be wild and unpredictable and messy. (the difference being that sheogorath is an all-powerful god cat..... do u see my vision???)

anyway this got crazy long JHDSHFSD... to finish i wanted to look at this extra bit of characterization i found that was wild to me:

^ like. i truly dont get where they got THIS characterization LMAO sheo constantly calls haskill faithful and smart and knowledgeable in oblivion, he practically begs you to summon haskill for help, hyping up his boyfriend so to speak, they care for each other your honor so of COURSE sheo trusts haskill to do his job. what are the legends writers doing in there!!

ANYWAY dear god this got long im going to bed <3

[xiakeik]

U know especially for someone who hasn't consumed JJK in awhile, that's really accurate. I'd really love more details if u want but not only is that super accurate but man what a fucking fun character that would be. Idk even know who I'd want to see them interact with the most because I want to see them interact with everybody. The stuff like doing insane things to win arguments and caring so much about how they look is such a perfect way to combine their traits too

Little rushed comic I thought I could do of their interaction with Mr. Stanford Pines himself!

Further explaination under the cut :]

Some other fun things I thought of regarding Nopher that aren't specifically related to Ford/anyone:

Nopher (which I'll say is the fusion name), definitely will have a hard time getting used to the body first. If you think about it, it's just Sukuna & Itadori in Season 1 (which btw, IF my art block doesn't attack me, i MIGHT draw an interaction btwn them). Simply not pleasant LMAO. Ford doesn't really know what to do with it because Nopher isn't much of a threat for the moment. Another thing to note is that Nopher kinda just showed up to to Ford's doorstep (thanks Bill) and while Ford DOES immediately recognize Bill in Nopher, he does not recognize the physical body he inhabits. Ford doesn't know Nobara, and Nobara doesn't know Ford. Only connection they really have with each other is Bill. I feel like Ford would be VERY intrigued by how Nobara, who likely doesn't have much knowledge on Bill, is able to withstand brief periods of possession per say? I'd like to think that although Ford really doesn't want to do anything with Cipher At All, he can't really ignore the fact that he got a "random" person involved. Obviously Nopher's capable of pretty much the entire arsenal that Nobara & Bill have (except Bill's powers might be a teensy bit limited but they don't know that).

Don't ask me where they get the money from but they do enjoy clothes shopping/shopping in general for the trendy stuff. One of the very few things they "enjoy"/have in common.

Nobara within the mindspace once in awhile will get excited to see the things they have around Oregon, same with Bill when they meet the JJK gang in Tokyo.

Bill ABSOLUTELY gets really confused over the idea of being able to see Curses. The creatures released during Weirdmageddon couldn't leave the confinements of the town, so it's a shocker for Bill to find that there are actually other worldly beings residing in a place outside of Gravity Falls. Freely too! (If they aren't killed)

On the contrary though, Nobara will always see the weird stuff happening in Gravity Falls as a threat. She's been trained that way to never let her guard down and she's BRUTAL with it. I think during these times, Nopher's general "crazy" really starts to come out.

Regarding the past 2 bullet points, it's a just whole new struggle for Nopher: Nobara needs to continue protecting people from Curses that normal people can't even see, whereas Bill always wants to try and make allies with them. It's tough.

That's probably all I'm gonna come up with for now!! I do have a semi-large project I'd like to get started on & finish before the end of the week so story-building Nopher may not be prioritized for now. I do hope you enjoyed my ramble though, anon!

[esleep]

i am having the most ridiculously, cartoonishly bad day that i think i have ever had and i am going to be pitiful about it for a minute okay. if you read this i hope it makes your day seem much better by comparison, in fact i am pretty confident it will do that for you. it's probably a little funny also if you are not me.

testimonials: "my jaw fully dropped and stayed open the entire time, jesus christ" -shannon in reply to the 3+ minute rambling video i sent her about all of this.

here is my sordid tale, for those brave of heart and strong of stomach.

i woke up at 4 AM while having both a migraine and an anxiety attack (being around my family for extended periods will do that). i was unable to go back to sleep for multiple hours. my morning work alarm went off less than an hour after i finally drifted back off.

at work i spent 10 hours trying to catch up on a bunch of bullshit, because it was my first day back after a week and a half of hastily-arranged sick leave so i could be with my dying grandfather.

midway through my morning, i remember that last night i found a weird open sore on the back of my cat's neck, which i need to call a vet to get checked out IMMEDIATELY after work since i am supposed to be bringing a kitten home on Sunday and I do not want to bring him into a house full of ringworm or some other weird skin infection.

i start looking around online. looks like the only place anywhere nearby that will accept walk-ins AND is open after i get off work at 6 is the veterinary urgent care across town. cool. i call. they tell me their base exam cost is $110 and any treatments go on top of that. i wince and grimly make an appointment for 7 this evening.

at this point it is around noon and my stomach hurts. it's been hurting this whole time but i had kinda let it fade into the background because i thought it was just part of the anxiety. however it has been getting slowly stronger until it finally dawns on me that i am having period cramps. ten days early. cool and nice. i also do still have the migraine, thank you for asking.

i finish my work day at 6, then remember something crucial: rent. i go to bring my rent check physically to the landlord's office since i got back into town too late to mail it, and my landlord is so old school i can only pay by physical check or money order (online portal? never heard of her). the office is already closed, and they don't have a night drop available right now because their actual office was firebombed six months ago (lmao) and it's still being rebuilt so their temporary "office" is just a trailer. i panic-call my landlord, who says i can leave the check if i can manage to stuff it far enough into the door that no one can see it. i try my best. this takes a million years. the entire time i am worrying that i will be late to the vet.

we finally make it to the appointment. things seem to be going well at first - we are alone in the waiting room while i fill out my paperwork, ivy is mostly chill (shockingly). when we are brought to a room she even lets me feed her a churu through her carrier door, a decision i soon came to deeply regret. we'll get to that.

this is the first vet i've ever been to where they fully take your animal away from the "exam room" where you are supposed to wait and into a back area to examine and treat them, presumably because their protocol is built around much more severe illnesses and traumas. predictably, ivy did not like this very much. i nervously told the tech who took her away that if they had too much trouble with her, they were welcome to come and get me, because she usually behaves more for me than for anyone else. i can hear her yowling from the room where i have been told to wait, while i am staring down a sign that says "FOR YOUR SAFETY - PLEASE STAY HERE WHILE WE EXAMINE YOUR PET". it may be a liability thing for them, idk, but it is truly not my safety i am concerned about at this moment. it's not my cat's safety, either. those yowls are war cries. the beast seeks blood.

the vet comes in. he seems like a nice man. he tells me gently that he's having some trouble getting a good look at the sore because ivy is so upset (you don't say). i tell him i am happy to help them corral her, but also, i have a photo of it on my phone if he would like to look at that. he is delighted. i show him the blurry photo i took last night. he is less delighted. essentially, he tells me, this is most likely either an allergy flare-up, an infection/abscess, or possibly (least likely) ringworm. we agree on a three-pronged approach: one antibiotic shot and one steroid shot tonight, plus a tube of ointment to come home with me that i will apply once or twice a day ("whatever you can manage" he told me while nervously glancing at the door that separates us from my pet demon in the treatment room). this ointment contains more steroid and antibiotic, plus an anti-fungal, and it should help kick whatever is going on even if we can't positively identify it. he says if it gets worse or doesn't heal, or if she develops more of them, bring her back.

next to come in is a slightly wild-eyed vet tech who tells me that ivy has been attacking them all pretty badly (shocking) so they had to net her (okay that's a new one). during this process, she shit liquid diarrhea all over herself and them. after they gave her the necessary injections and tossed her from the net back into the carrier, "the poop went in with her" were the tech's exact words. she handed me a cloth and a spray bottle of disinfectant and basically told me i could stay in here as long as i needed to get the carrier cleaned up, but she couldn't stay in the room to help me because my cat is such a menace to society. that is fine. i would rather face her wrath on my own anyway.

they were not exaggerating when they told me she was absolutely covered in shit. that churu really lubricated the pipes or something because it is a frankly concerning amount of feces. her bed and blanket inside the carrier are beyond redemption. i don't really care too much about that - i've owned cats for two decades, i am wise enough not to keep anything i'm emotionally attached to inside the carrier. i am also not very squeamish about cleaning up a little poop. but what really gets to me this time is the smell. it is absolutely unholy. this is not regular cat shit smell, this is like satan's afterbirth. beyond just what's in the carrier, there is shit matted into ivy's fur all throughout her back half and a little toward the front too. she looks pitiful. but she walks out of the carrier so calmly when i open the door, almost like she's trying to preserve what dignity she can. i don't blame her. she's had a bad night.

i do what i can with the carrier to make it transportable, then go out to pay the staggering $365 that i owe for this ongoing nightmare. it is now nearly 9 pm. we've been here for two hours. i am exhausted like someone who has been to war. the extremely young boy they have running the front desk takes forever to figure out how to apply my Scratchpay (which i had to hastily apply for in the exam room), and meanwhile the smell that is coming off both me and my cat is like nothing i have ever experienced. it's freshly shocking to me every time i inhale. it's the kind of smell you never really acclimate to. i am pretty sure i have actually died and gone to hell without noticing the trip.

i bring the cat home (windows down, by necessity, praying it doesn't start raining again like it has been all day). i take her directly to the bathtub - do not pass go, do not collect $200. then i have the joy and privilege of giving her a bath in the tub. with dish soap. because that is all i have available and this is a bit too much of an emergency for me to doordash some cat shampoo. considering my cat's temperament, this goes about as well as you can imagine. by the end, the cat and i are pretty much equally wet, but at least she is mostly clean. i consider showering myself off while fully clothed, but decide against it for the sake of my bra, which is somehow the only thing still dry and untouched.

i am still a little bit in shock at how absolutely horrendous and LONG every aspect of this day has been. i need a xanax, $10,000 USD, a massage, and a handle of whiskey. i will be receiving none of that. goodnight.

[papyrusgayfont]

* ok I was trying to fall asleep last night but this thought crept into my mind and then I just Couldn’t Sleep so like yeah I’m just gonna talk about it now

* Ok so like I truly believe in the “Sans and Papyrus are from Deltarune” theory, but then I was thinking about how Papyrus (not Sans because he’s pretty much the same in both games) would evolve into his Undertale self, since he seems to be pretty introverted and kind of a loner in Deltarune, and that’s when it hit me: his Undertale personality starts to form during his time in a dark world

* Like his love for puzzles could be a result of him having to complete the various puzzles that you usually see in a dark world, his infamous “Nyeh Heh Heh!” could come from him trying to imitate one of the villain’s catchphrases, his desire to be everyone’s friend/become popular and make everyone happy could come from his time hanging out with the Fun Gang™️

* A lot of this also just kind of ties into my personal theory that chapter 4 will be related to Sans and Papyrus but idk, I feel like of this is at least a little plausible

* I think I also just came up with this because Sans and Papyrus just, do not have a backstory, at least not like every other main character (barring Frisk) does, where their backstories tell us something that explains how they got to where they are now. Like, for example, Undyne. she had Gerson and Asgore as mentors, and she’d train with Asgore everyday and watch Gerson beat up bad guys, which explains why she’s a part of the Royal Guard and why she can be very eager and rambunctious.

* And you can do this for any other main character too. But for Sans and Papyrus? The most we get is QC telling us that they just “showed up one day” and Sans talking about how “you’ll never see ‘em again”, and how you should just give up like he did

* Which, hey, can very easily tie into Deltarune, because it could show how he’s given up hope about ever seeing anyone from his previous life again

* This whole thing just kinda came off the rails lmao, like this started with me talking about how the events of Deltarune could lead into Papyrus’ Undertale characterization, and then it just lead to me talking about backstories and how certain things Sans says can tie into Deltarune lmao

* but hey, that’s just what happens when I’m able to ramble with no one stopping me lol

[crossedwithblue]

You're a Mansfield Park fan?

Yes!

IDK if you intended it as such but I am going to take this as a license to ramble about MP on main.

I think the thing about MP is that people (especially people who aren't as quite intense about JA than I am lmao, or who have only read P&P before) often come to it expecting a light-bright-and-sparkling romance like P&P, and are surprised when that isn't the case. Hell, I felt like that too on the first read, because the pop-culture perception of JA is that she was a romance writer first and foremost - but the romantic happy-ever-after is shoehorned into a few paragraphs on the last page or two, and not even shown on the page. MP isn't a romance novel at all - I have minimal English lit knowledge outside of JA, but I'd class it as more of a bildungsroman, maybe? Or a predecessor to those modern Literary Novels all about objectively nasty people being nasty to each other? (More on this in a min) I would very much welcome corrections from people who do know what they're talking about, though!

To me, JA isn't actually a romance writer most of the time. She wrote really good romances because she was really good at characterisation and at understanding and describing how personalities interact to form relationships, and romance is just one type of relationship. It's just the one that pop culture tends to focus on when it comes to JA (I mostly blame Georgette Heyer but of course there's an essay to be written on that too). The only JA novels I'd describe as true romances are P&P, of course, and Persuasion - the rest have romance as just one among many other dynamics as a supporting or side plot, or a tool to reveal characterisation, rather than being the main focus.

Fanny is also a very passive narrator who tends to be acted upon rather than acting herself, which tends to irritate people, but MUCH more on that in a minute.

I think MP is in some ways sort of... cruel. It's certainly the most openly incisive and potentially upsetting, with depictions of complex abusive/toxic family dynamics that could probably come straight out of a domestic/familial abuse/neglect resource. The point where I started to enjoy MP was when someone told me to embrace the schadenfreude - everyone besides Fanny and Edmund (possibly - both points very much up for debate, but they are at least trying their best in the middle of a family that doesn't give a fuck, really) is either an actively terrible person or at least a pretty bad enabler. That did help me find the humour in it, but personally I certainly find it a bit hard to read at times, especially the Mrs Norris scenes. It's not usually my first choice when I want to be cheered up.

This also tends to surprise people, I think, because the pop-culture image of JA, (probably in large part due to her Victorian relatives wanting to protect her posthumous image) is of a twinkly, proper, sweet-natured spinster lady.

Which she was not. Anyone who's seen extracts of her surviving letters knows that she had a biting, frequently uncharitable sense of humour (miscarriage jokes aren't a great look, Jane!) - and we know Cassandra destroyed the really juicy stuff, so that's got to be the tip of the iceberg. This is certainly apparent in all of her books, but can be ignored much of the time - but not in MP, where uncharitable descriptions of awful people are pretty much the core of the book.

Finally, we come to Fanny, the extremely divisive heroine (not least because of that name lol). Personally I tend to imprint on pathetic small girls who need looking after, but Fanny is a massive turnoff (lolol) for many people. I think that's just a personal thing but I enjoy the effect of her frequently becoming another layer through which the narrative filters - JA was a master of free indirect speech, of course, often with deliberate ambiguity about whose POV is being reported - omniscient narrator or character or both in agreement - and if it's a character, then which one? Fanny usually says and does little, but observes very keenly and astutely, which interacts in a really interesting way with the narration.

Also, I'd just like to point out that Fanny is Like That because she is an abuse victim. She may not be the most compelling heroine for everyone, but she isn't going to "just stand up for herself". The one time she does, the Bertrams punish her for it pretty harshly by sending her back to an environment that they know will be bad for her physical health (!)

Bit of a tangent but I am also a huge fan of Jane Eyre and I think there are interesting parallels to be drawn between Fanny and Jane. Jane Eyre is a fiery, independent character who manages to get out of bad situations one way or another, mostly through sheer dumb luck (don't get me wrong I love my girl Jane but How did she leave that parcel on the coach...). If she'd stayed at Gateshead, I could see her gradually getting beaten down until she became a lot more like Fanny - because other than Jane's innate temper, they have quite a bit in common - they both do, when it comes down it, have a very strong sense of self (yes, even Fanny) and the ability to reject things that they know are morally wrong, no matter the potential cost.

That turned into a bit of a defense of MP because I usually hear people dissing it and so that's what I end up thinking about. Lots more to be said on the Crawfords and the Bertrams, of course.

[lizzibennet]

Hiii you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what made you realise you were a lesbian rather than bi? As someone who has always identified as bi since discovering the concept of it, sometimes I really do wonder.

Or do u think of it as more fluidly- something that changes with the time of life and people you surround yourself with and other factors.

And are all the sexuality phases you have been through just as valid as the current one or can the past be negated by the strong sense of change at that moment?

Idk I just want your thoughts on it (again feel free to ignore!) (Ps: also i would love to hear your recommendation on bi lit books, fiction or otherwise!!)

sooooo to put it very simply, i realized my “attraction” to men was actually just a sense of me wanting to get recognition and validation from them. this was truly SHOCKING to me as i’ve always considered myself a pretty independent person who didn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks, and on a surface level that is true, but this was something unconscious, in such a deep level that i needed help in therapy to be able to understand it! there was just something about being *desired* by men that made me feel good, but things like, say, sex or the actual romantic relationships i pursued with them were never fulfilling to me, emotionally or physically. i also was always into men who just were not good to me and i sought it out, i think, as a form of self harm. i just thought that’s how i was! and then i met my girlfriend and just so much slotted into place. i think a lot is different because she is the love of my life, but i also needed to admit how many things seemed to be different because she is a woman, how many things are good and easy with her and were good and easy with my ex gf but were terrible headaches when dating my ex bfs. so much of my demeanor just unconsciously changed when we started dating and i felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, like i didn’t need to “perform” as a woman as much, and as someone who DI DN’T think i performed before i knew there was something to examine there. truly there is so much!!!! a lot of my life seems to make more sense now! i always had a little bit of doubt and even tested the label when i was like 16 but in the end i just realized even if the gf and i broke up i would simply never want to date a man again ever in my life and would only ever pursue women from then on. i also realized the things i did like about the men i dated were simply things i could get from friends. i could never be wholly fulfilled only being friends with women, i’d want to date and fall in love with them, but i do not need or want that from men. the few parts of my relationships w men i did like (which were pointedly not the sexual or romantic part of it, more like the camaraderie of it i guess) i easily get from my male friends now. saurrrr this is totally rambly because it’s still very much not tidy in my mind yet tbh but yeah comphet and a lot of self hatred did a number on me LMAO

i think sexuality can definitely be fluid and i could very well have been bisexual and then later become a lesbian! i personally don’t think that was the case with me, i think i’ve always been a lesbian and just now with the clarity of AdulthoodTM and so many relationships and experiences i can have more context and know that i’ve probably always really been attracted to women and thats all. in the end even when i id’d as bi i always said i did not want to marry a man and always thought i’d end up with a woman so i think at some level i probably always knew a little bit.

(of course bisexuals with preferences exist and having been on the receiving end of biphobia so many times over the course of the last decade i feel very strongly that bi experiences and the bi community and its history are very important for all lgbt people to know! id’ing as bi, i always felt like the fact a ton of our experiences were not black and white and uniform made other members of the lgbt community uncomfortable, and, well, now i’m a lesbian with a track record that can only be defined as contentious lmao, so i relate stoll. the discussions happening within bi spaces are all very enlightening and important. i always felt safe and very welcomed in bi spaces and i loved the local community. i just felt like i had to say this- i need it to be very clear that my experience does not invalidate bisexuality in any way shape or form)

i have no like ill will towards past me for not “seeing it” sooner, i simply do not want to be that anymore. idk if “negate” is the word i’d use, i think all my past experiences as they happened then were valid and important and tbh if interpreted them as i was back then then i have no interest in going back and revisiting all of it. i thought of myself like that back then, i lived my life as best as i could then, this is what i think now and i’ll live my life as best as i can from now on. i’m not really the type to latch/hold onto past deeds. i’ll reexamine something if i think it’s worthwhile for current me but i don’t feel the need to go and recontextualize my entire life it that makes sense. that’s how i was then and this is how i am now, both phases are just as valid in my opinion

tldr i 🩷 my gf!!!!!!!!!!

[furby-organist]

// spoilers, some thots, differences between canon and my worldbuilding. adhd style rambling.

- Contrary to like, the pilot and Alastor comic, there was a lot less of Alastor terrifying the shit out of everyone with his presence. I wonder if this is because the people he's seen interacting with are a) The hotel peeps, who are largely a self-selecting group of people who are okay interacting with him, and b) other overlords. Anyway, "almost everyone is terrified of Alastor and he is deeply lonely" is still a very important part of this blog and his development and I'm not changing it.

- Alexa is not an overlord. I'm pretty sure that the team (or Viv?) had said that Alastor wasn't a proper Overlord because he doesn't hold territory, but he's very powerful. Not sure if the series will clarify further or if they've decided he's an overlord. Alexa will continue to not be an Overlord. He controls radio as a mechanism and has the only radio tower in the area but he doesn't control actual territory.

- I was expecting Vaggie and Alastor to butt heads way more haha! Vaggie was not malding as much as I expected!

- I had really hoped to see more Alastor/Angel chaos interaction, especially because we got some fun stuff out of the Hunicast. They seem to get along okay. Though it looks like Angel + Husk are getting pretty chummy and Husk has beef with Alastor

(and they like... paralleled Alastor to Valentino? Which is INSANE to me... listen Alastor sucks as a person, and having his freak ass own your soul can't be fun, but there is a MASSIVE difference between the circumstances that had Husk sign over his soul and Angel sign over his soul. Like one is overlord-on-overlord violence and the other is, like, exploitation of structural violence at minimum. "I'll make you a star, I'll make you rich" etc etc. And there's a MASSIVE difference between the abuse & control that Val does and Alastor doing Diet Labor Trafficking by voluntelling Husk as a bartender.)

so I do wonder in canon how Angel and Alastor COULD be friends if the implied parallel is Husk (or anyone) befriending Valentino. Girl that is insane.

Whatever, I am on the radiodust train until I mf die, Alastor/Angel besties train, chaos friends, I think the funniest possible development on this blog is that (after canonically pulling up to the hotel and being like "girl you are delulu. This is a dumpster fire. and I want front row seats" and Vaggie was like "this freak is going to ruin this project") that he clown tax evasion married the ONE RESIDENT. They went "we could make each other worse. we could make all of this worse" (they did not make each other worse but hell certainly suffers when they open their mouths)

- I've talked extensively in the past on this blog about abuse and how Local Alastor thinks a situation like Angel's should be handled and it's not like how Charlie does Lmao bless her.

- I thought it was so funny that Alastor was like "now I have to go to the tailor" bitch your coat was already raggedy and you came back with a raggedy ass coat.

- Also... Alastor behaved a lot more than I thought he would? He was pretty down to do the job of disposing of the egg bois, even humanely, like he didn't really put up too many fights! Idk he was a behaved manager. I think he is having a good time at the hotel. I love that for his freak ass

- I love how him doing freaky ass facial expressions/lighting is mostly like, Something He Does and most of everyone just kind of accepts it. He really is out here saying wild shit too. "I pulled some limbs too. Hahaha!" lmao yesss Alexa randomly saying morbid ass shit bc he didn't think it through how it comes off was definitely a Thing that's happened and will continue to happen.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

hi!! i was wondering if i could get a jjk matchup if reqs are still open :)

im 18, straight female, i have black hair and brown eyes and im like 5’3 i think :P

im a pisces, i think infp?? idk i don’t really trust those quizzes though i feel like i’m always so biased when i’m answering the questions lol T-T i’m ambivert but when i’m with people im comfy with i tend to lean much more towards the extroverted side. im very very chatty and friendly (at least i like to think im friendly lmao) and i tend to ramble a lot (i beat myself up for it a ton cuz i cant stop myself from just rambling on and on even if it’s w someone i just met </3). i get especially chatty if it’s someone i’m attracted to i literally cannot stop the words from coming out it’s like a nervous response or something. but if i’m in an environment like at school or whatever where i don’t really know anyone i’m actually pretty quiet. im not shy at all tho :P

im really sensitive even though i try not to show it too much, and i hate confrontation. i stand up for myself/others if i need to but if the other person yells at me or catches an attitude i’ll probably cry abt it later. i cry a lot in general @_@

i think my biggest hobby is music, i love going to concerts and im almost always listening to music. i also really like shopping (so so painful for my wallet </3), and i like treating myself to nice things (by treating myself i mean all the time i have no restraint). taking care of myself makes me happy so i can’t help it hehe

in terms of love languages i really tend to do all of them LOL i’m just a very openly affectionate person but i especially like to give gifts. as much as i like to buy things for myself i also like to be able to treat my loved ones and i just can’t stop myself from buying them things</3 it’s like a small way to say ‘i’m thinking of you’

when it comes to receiving love languages though i think my biggest ones are words of affirmation/quality time just because i get in my head a lot so i need reassurance and stuff sometimes :P

im so so sorry if this was too much 😭 thank you so much though!! <3

(IT’S OKAY NO ASK IS TOO MUCH WORDS. Also you seem really cool!! I hope you enjoy this!!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- When you two first met, y’all instantly clicked with each other. You guys talk for hours and hours on end about everything.

- Doesn’t mind your rambling and when he finds out that you sometimes beat yourself up over it he’ll tell you that he for sure doesn’t mind at all (he’ll tell you while he’s poking your forehead)

- If someone gives you an attitude and he’s around he’ll step in and de-escalates the situation quickly with his playful attitude so you don’t have to.

- He’s really good at spending quality time with you. He also loves to buy you things. As long as he’s there, you don’t have to worry about going into debt.

- Will buy you front row tickets to your favorite concert.

- He’s the type to hold your hand and swing it above your head (did that even make sense at all??)

- If he’s feeling sentimental, he likes to watch you sleep while he’s tracing shapes gently on your face or any scars you have.

- He likes all the gifts you give him and will one-up you and buy you so much more to show his love.

Masterlist

[madstronaut]

baby's first konig longfic

(masterlist of my FaFiCoWriMo rambles at the Fuck It We Ball link below! looking forward to seeing this become a long untameable monstrous ouroboros of a list)

omg t h i s f i c. IT BARELY HAS ANY SMUT IN IT till the end and it is one of the hottest konig fics ive ever read (and honestly I think he takes home the trophy for man most thirsted over in COD fandom, sorry ghost but you’re all winners in my panties i mean heart I SAID HEART)

Reading: Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus

idk wot it is - the tenderness and purity of their first few interactions? the forbiddenness of stumbling upon a private radio channel when they’re technically Not On The Same Side? the little GIFTS they give each other? How he can always find her despite her literally being a topranked sniper? the way their physical meet-cute is him literally catching her in his arms?! the knowledge maus can snipe him at any moment and yet konig willingly stepping into her crosshairs?  LLBLBLLLBLGLGB

That last “She’s pretty” comment for me was the emotional equivalent of stabbing me in the heart with a roughshod serrated knife in how cute it was (btw let me warn you if you haven’t already gotten the memo folx my whole brand is being aggressively encouraging and excited over fanfic and writers in an increasingly unhinged yet polite manner<3) 

in true konig fashion i love how excited he is that maus might be the literal death of him and that he would die happy if she was the one to snipe him lmao

also can anyone else relate to doing a private eye style deepdive into facebook archives stalking and searching for info about your crush and memorizing it like konig did here for mausy lmao

"It’s pathetic, the only place he feels any sort of peace is at war."

chef’s kiss, love this line. brief, but tells you so much about konig’s headspace

“A younger part of him is jealous. The older part smothers that part down as he takes in the view.”

I love this line!!! ive wondered sometimes about the science and why of attraction and maus basically living konig’s dream i feel must play a big part of why they’re so drawn to each other...and ofc no explanation needed for why she is attracted to konig because everyone is, undisputed law of nature, go look it up on wikipedia and jstor, thank you no questions at this moment

“There’s a creek at the bottom, and interesting flora marks the cliffs all the way down. He wonders what wildlife drinks from the stream down there and if there are any decent caves he could find an opening to.”

have u ever thought about what you or someone else might have been in another life, in alternate timeline? I can see biologist konig fitting in quite well in civilian life &lt;;3 LEMME DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL MY SOLDIER BOYS SAFELY RETURNING HOME FAR FROM OR NEVER HAVING TO ENDURE THE FOG AND TERROR AND HORROR OF WAR OKAY

“The exposed rock of the ravine flames to life with amazing browns and reds, and the stone sparkles like rubies and tiger’s eye stones as the sun's rays catch it.”

also sidenote the way the scenery is described here would make me want to go take a photo and download it and save it as my wallpaper; so descriptive and lovely i could see everything so clearly <3

“The sun is setting behind her. She’s very far away, but his skin prickles to life knowing that he’s being watched.”

I also love this usual role reversal of maus being the predator watching her prey (though is he arguably her prey if he wants to be caught? lol anyway putting aside the essay on existential questions in fanfic-)

It’s a beautiful place, really. It’s not such a bad place to die, he thinks. She’s a good shot. She’ll do it quickly. Nothing to fret about,really. It’s his own fault, anyways. 

I am obsessed with their chemistry but most of all something about this powerful man fully placing his life in her hands just does it for me

“I’ll bite, soldier.” She says, hurriedly, like someone might walk in on their little game. Like the teacher is about to find the two kissing in a supply closet at the school.

*me reading this line, giggling madly*

He sits down on the ground and opens his legs as wide as they’ll comfortably go and rests his cheek in his hand propped on his thigh. If he’s going to die, he’s going to give her a pretty show.

me: okay slut

also me: ✨o k a y slut✨

I also love how he’s imagining what she would be doing/how she’s reacting all based off what I assume is the equivalent of a shitty driver’s license photo he saw of her 🥰

i also feel like getting warning shots as foreplay IS so konig-coded (yes im fully aware as i type this that this man has so much fanlore, fan hcs, fanfic, faneverything out there despite not even being in the storyline of the main campaign lmao)

I also love the flip to maus’ POV - though when she notes how outrageous it is for him to keep his shiny knife on him i bet you my future firstborn that it’s to get her attention <3

also <3 sniper candy <3

also we love a girlboss who asks >100x to shoot him on sight lmao

It’s been months since the ravine and she’s seen him just about everywhere she’s been. When SpecGru was gathering intel on KorTacs drug affiliations, she saw him in the haunted deserts of Sonora, Mexico where she lies in the dirt redder than blood and coyotes sing her to sleep. She gazes down at him atop crumbling 16th-century Byzantine marble when she picks off the guards of a weapons supplier in Belgrade, Serbia. In the ancient and verdant bamboo forest of Yibin, China, hunting down spy affiliations, she camps across a creek from him for a night.

“we’ve got to stop meeting like this!” - konig, probably

He would’ve been a good sniper, in another life. If he wasn’t built like the trees she climbs for her shots.

mausy your crush is showing 🤭

He walks like a monster with three legs (and at some point about three months into their little game, she touches herself thinking about that third leg.

i mean honestly? give maus a medal for holding out for three months before succumbing, damn

The secret stays between them and their radios become the divining rods of close encounters.

secret forbidden relationship is one of my fave tropes <3

Mostly it’s just breathing on each line, mostly it’s just-

“König?”

“Maus?”

“Mhm.”

“Hmm.”

honestly this sounds more intimate than sex

She knows she should get a shrink or a good fuck to stop fucking thinking about him like this, but sometimes he whispers a joke into his radio and she laughs, and sometimes she tells him about the book she’s been reading, and sometimes he shows her his favorite knife tricks, and sometimes she tells him stories of before she was in the military and he always laughs and asks questions to show he’s actually engaged and he cares and-

this is so domestic and cute for warzone flirting <3

When they’re alone he’s the perfect gentleman, he gets no closer than when she reaches out to contact him first. When they’re not, it's a whole different story. He runs into the middle field like if he can just reach her, he can keep her. If he can carry back his conquest, well… kings get their war spoils, don’t they? It’s a terrible secret she keeps alive only in her heart, but she hopes one day he finally will.

mausy gettin bingo on all our fave kinks today, apparently

maus picking up on his knife skills and noticing his anxiety via the shaking hands (and that they don’t shake at all around her) is just peak PEAK PEAK PEAK fanfic vibes. feeling safe around someone is one of the biggest green flags in the universe and a gift <3

 It’s a shame, but she’s a little happy that it’ll be König, her cat, that’ll catch her corpse.

honestly these two were made for each other lmao

ok THE SCENE WHERE THE FIRST TIME THEY REALLY, REALLY MEET? HE KILLS FOR HER? LITERALLY PUTS HIS ARMS OUT FOR HER TO CATCH HER FALL? 

And the first thing he says is a promise. A promise of help. A promise of aid.

I was like speechless with joy and giddiness for a good minute or two reading this whole scene lmao SO SATISFYING esp with konig’s lil gasp when she falls into his arms <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 UGH PLS PAPS CAN I GIVE YOU A MEDAL??? A HUG??? A KISS???? MY UNDYING LOVE AND DEVOTION??? well in lieu of all this I’ll just give your fic multiple visits and so much rambling <3

also their first meetcute THEY EXCHANGE GIFTS????? HOW FUCKING CUTE ARE THEY GOD 

He has created, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate out of a brutal tool and doomed material.

so this absolutely stunning construction of a sentence pretty much sums up why I love COD fandom/fanfic writers so much..

I forget where I read this somewhere on this hellsite but it went something like “it’s subversive to write these men made to die/made for war, made to be loved instead” and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes that I stumbled on a random reddit Q&A 

“I get discouraged sometimes - just like everyone. I question whether my music/life/work matters at all.

The danger is letting other people define your soul's worth. Sometimes folks will like what you do, other times they'll hate it.

But I continually remind myself that I do NOT matter as a result of what I do, I matter because of who I AM. I am not a "human doing" but a "human being. " I matter simply because I was made in the image of the unmade maker, and I am loved by Love.”

“I am not a human doing, but a human being” 

“I am made in the image of love, and I am loved by Love”

“we are, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate, created out of brutal tool and doomed material” 

these words touch such a deep and core and unspeakably true part of me - that i forget often, that i find hard to believe, that i struggle to remember and cling to - and tbh one of the most frequent places I find this much-needed encouragement is in FANFICTION! <3

fanfic writers you are truly some of the most beautiful people on this planet &lt;3

anyway yeah, fanfic as therapy is a helluva drug and so fucking real

 if I could give all my beloved writers a diploma i would pay a calligrapher to write this gold leaf ink or some shit and put on my best lipstick and smooch it all over and print it out on vellum for you all <3

ANYWAY WHERE TF WAS I- o yes, simping over both maus and konig

When he turns to go she thinks how much his hands must’ve hurt to make this little thing 

this is so real; everytime I try my hand at sewing/mending (and i got tiny hands yall) for an extended period of time my fingers always end up so crampy in a uniquely painful way

i also get big “gift of the magi by o. henry” (truly one of my favorite short stories of all time) vibes from this exchange <3

(tl;dr: here, my heart, let me cut out and gift you my heart - oshit what’s that? your heart? *scrambles to catch and not break it*)

cos honestly on one level how fucking hilarious that they basically exchange a piece of wood and a rock lmao but really THEY ARE GIVING SOMETHING SO SPECIAL TO EACH OTHER <333333

The next time she sees him, about a week later, she sees him sharpening his massive field knife with the tiny whetstone on his comically large thigh, and in response, she thumbs at the wooden effigy in her pocket. They laughed into their radios to each other. 

ok how fucking hilarious and sexy that they are basically watching each other finger each other…..s' gifts

the final dialogue in chapter two needs to be in the merriam-webster dictionary under “flirting 101: peak examples”

but also omg THE EXTRA LITTLE GIFTS SHE LEAVES BEHIND FOR KONIG? HER FLINTING A HEART AND HIM SHATTERING IT IMMEDIATELY IN HIS GIANT-ASS SEXY ASS HANDS AND LEAVING HIMSELF BLEEDING AS PENANCE????? HIM IMAGINING COOKING FOR HER AND READING ALL TEH BOOKS SHE RECS HIM??? Honestly him musing about actually fucking her at the end is the LEAST sexy part of all this and the line about him aching to make her mewl did…things to me

if I could distill the maus x konig energy here into an drink, I think I could run up everest naked without breakin a sweat

The man is quick, but König is quicker, taking off through the snow like he did as a child. Running with reckless abandon, long legs carrying him faster and further than anyone else when he and his cousins would play capture the flag at his Oma’s house in Gauso. 

i love papa’s (really need to find a better nickname for writer while I write this lol) way of capturing like…the sense of child-like wonder/safety and domesticity you return to when you are in love/find yourself in the presence (physical or not) of someone you love in her writing, also why i really love this fic so much

Slicing that man clean between his ribs like a lion strikes a lamb was the second most satisfying experience of his life, greatly eclipsed by the settling of her weight against his chest when she trusted him enough to jump into his arms. 

*chanting to summon my talented fellow konig simps to draw fanart of this scene*

“You big, everywhere? I mean, with hips like those… ”

“...” Fuck, bad time to get a boner.

SIR.

hast thou not heard the term “video killed the radio star”???? you’re alone and miles away only talking via radiowaves, LITERALLY THE BEST TIME TO GET A BONER???? smh unless ofc the best time for konig is when he’s with maus &lt;3

“…he’d been chasing a little prayer in her shape. He wouldn’t have considered it ‘done’ when he gave it to her but-

Her warmth was still in his fingers, her beautiful eyes trained on him, her fantastic form somehow devoid of his blood or his filth in his rescue attempt, well. He had been praying, hadn’t he? It’s only right to pay tithing to the thing you worship. He gave her the figure, and he did so with the only real regret being that he couldn’t give her more and that he almost sullied her perfection with his violence.

also men near-worshipping the women they simp for is also a huge kink of mine (i mean whose isn’t it? also i hurt my brain trying to discern if that last sentence i wrote made sense but college was a long tiem ago for me soooo)

And to top it all off, when he wrenched himself away from her, heart heavy and entirely certain that she would never, could never, follow- she called him back and reciprocated. 

can confirm, reciprocated feelings is an indescribable feeling, war on drugs would’ve been game over day 1 if it was fought with requited feelings

When he turns away it is because his brain cannot comprehend a world in which she walks away with him.

well, snipe me right in the heart why dont you papi! (again, still need to find a different nickname for writer)

And in fairness, he would rather die than admit his treachery, not out of any misplaced moral but instead out of precaution for her safety.

honestly, husband goals

konig’s dream is p e r f e c t i o n “I love and trust you and feel safe enough to put my life into your thighshands, even if that means you’ll take it”

“Like dovetail joints, a great carpenter must have made them to fit together. There must be a God, and he must have made her to perfectly fit beside (and dare he hope, inside?) her. 

The only thing older than war to mankind is intimacy. You need soldiers for war, you need men for soldiers, and you need love to make those men. “

“He is remembering how to be human, to be a man and not a soldier, and he smiles back into her mouth.”

“She is giving him total control. Complete power and without hesitation. In her teary eyes, he sees a soldier’s trust, firm and unwavering. Ever faithful. Unquestioningly and genuinely she believes the man she’s at the mercy of will make her need no mercy. “

once again paps (yes yes need new nickname for writer, stfu mads) just dropping literary masterpieces casually

“König,” her eyes glaze over with worry. It’s a dangerous game they’re playing and they both know it. “Are you sure you want me?” She whispers, lips meeting the shell of his ear, he feels her fever pitch skin even through the fabric of his mask. His heart aches and he’s so angry with himself that she could even ask that. As if there were ever any questions. As if he has ever wanted anything else in his life like he wants this. As if there is anything else to want. As if there is anything else. 

Truly every beloved’s hopeful query and every lover’s debt to happily answer <3

 When he wakes up in his cold barracks, decidedly alone and not in between her thighs, he pounds the bed in frustration.ly ok the mood whiplash when i laughed out loud at konig pounding bed with his fists cos hes grumpy and horny

Not so dissimilar to the bride-stealing traditions his Oma had told him about as a boy.

damn oma what stories you be tellin to children lmao

though I AM recalling a medicinal anthropology class I took in college that was absolutely fascinating - we did touch on bride-napping as an actual thing in hmong culture (though from what I learned it has less IRL dubcon and more elopement vibes)

The fantasy of her is potent and life-consuming, but he is also viscerally aware that it is just that. A fantasy.

konig, thinking this, as he lives out most of his actual fantasies lmao

It is not real and despite his choking desire to be with her, he is not entirely sure she wants him.

ah yes, ‘idiots in love,’ an absolute banger of a trope

He wants so desperately to just be a fucking person for her. A person allowed weakness, a person allowed good-morning kisses, a person allowed terrible flirting, a person allowed to sit in the same room, a person allowed to touch and savor and make better another human. Allowed to heal, not harm. Allowed to save, not slaughter.

But he is a soldier, he’s not a person, and he’s not sure he ever really was a person in the first place.

The only thing he wants more than to have her is for her to want him. That hope is a delusion deeper than the ravine they met at, he’s sure. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹

yep just uh nothing happening over here, not crying over fanfic what -how dare you insinuate-

He feels no shame when he wraps his arms around the bunched comforter on his chest, imagining it’s a slight body he faithfully cradles.

*tripping, stumbling, running to pay for a custom body pillow big enough for konig to hug for his comfort* (not for me, would be too big anyways)😉😏

no literally ive thought about it i might have to do olympic-level qualifying gymnastics stretching to fit someone of his stature anyway it’s not like i made to-scale stick figure models doodled out on post-its in various creative positions to work out the physics of it or anything cough

If she knew how obsessed he’s become that he cannot help himself from having dreams about her and cannot help himself from getting off to the idea that she killed him with her fucking thighs

sir. 

please. 

i am ready to beat off the hordes of other women with a sharpened stick who would find this hot and respectful af

also obsessed with this soap who chews on pencaps and macguyvers radios to look like they’re fucking (or maus just has her head in the gutter, but really girl whose isnt??? and someone really needs to tell me if this is wrong grammatically every time i type it it sounds right)

also as a certified soap simp i also just have to say, you know you’ve got it bad when you look deep into soap’s eyes… and fantasize about another man LMAO

“No thanks,” she purrs as she finally sets herself into position.

i like this subtle nod to konig after she re-tells her katze’s joke <3 ooooo reading papaver’s writing is like eating a three-course meal at your fave comfort diner<3

The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day.

i also love this line <3 i can picture those blue-orange sunrise hours in my head and it’s so lovely because the scene is also tinged with all the complex emotions from their first meeting

He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse.

hothothothothothothothot (i realize just typing out hot over and over again leads you to also read thot, but honestly, still tracks)

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

this line…is too real 

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction. ” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life.

somewhere simon ghost riley has to suppress the urge to put down his rifle, stand up, and do a slow golf clap

Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey. Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.) 

*i am suppressing the feminine urge to print out paper doll cutouts of maus and konig and just hang them around random parts of my apartment making heart eyes at each other*

Maybe, it's dangerous, to wave a steak in front of a mountain lion, but what if she wants to get mauled?

these two, a match made in heaven. truly there’s someone for everyone~

also i love this COD book club that is happening; i also have a semi-regular work meeting where I hit the jackpot of getting the most chill but passionate cohorts and our goal is basically shooting the shit & talking about stuff we love and how to share it with the world like a workhours book club and I hope everyond gets to experience a little joy in the middle of 9-5 capitalist hell that is the workweek like this <3

Soap says, pulling out a well-worn copy of The Silence of the Lambs from the bag.

“He said he picked it up years ago in Polish thinking it was a cooking field guide.”

 fucking dying

how she could rest entirely on top of his chest and not touch the ground beneath them and-

once again i fucking love their inadvertent mindreading/mirroring their shared desires unbeknownst to each other. MOVE THE FUCK ASIDE, JANE AUSTEN

also if gromsko gave me “special field medicine lessons” I would probably pay to continue them

also on this note MEN ARE SOME OF THE SNOOPIEST MOST GOSSIPY BITCHES IN THE UNIVERSE CAN I GET AN AMEN? CAN I GET A HELL YEAH? CAN I GET A WHOOP WHOO-

she basks infatuated by the calamitous captivation he exhibits.

*fanning myself with ripped out pages of shakespeare and hemingway to burn at papaver’s altar*

When he lifts his hood to blow a kiss to her, she knows she will never get her traitorous heart back.

sir??

excuse me sir????

i thought you were told you couldn’t be a sniper? what the fuck is this tender bullshit of a snipe straight to my heart-

also that last chappy YAY ENEMIES TO ALMOST-LOVERS TO ALMOST-ENEMIES, LITERALLY CANNOT FIND THIS TROPE ANYWHERE!!!!

He’s always hoped to be able to pound down into her quaking form. 

the first time i read this i blacked out after seeing the phrase “pound down” and instead all i remember after slapping myself awake is actually reading the phrase “he’s always hoped to take her to pound town”

also why am i hot for righteous konig in shining armor being willing to go from zero to murder when he thinks maus is a pimp

and the INDIRECT KISSING VIA THE CIGGY? UNFFFFFHHH FUCKING KILL ME NOW SO I CAN DIE HAPPY (yes i am so easily pleased, sue me)

also i shrieked when maus kicks her crotch up WITHIN SPITTING/BITING DISTANCE OF KONIG PLEASE I WOULD PAY TO WATCH THIS FEATURE LENGTH FILM????

The throbbing in his pants also suggests that he’s probably forgiven her by now as well. 

*nodding sagely* yes, boners never lie

also maus slapping konig while he’s holding a knife between his teeth is big step on me queen energy

also the requital and reciprocation of the lines and actions they feed each other is just- one moment: *goes to sephora to buy more lipgloss as i ran out while giving chef’s kisses in bulk to papaver*

i love that konig is passing the time just being horny for maus, an efficient king 🫡

also when i saw gosau austria mentioned i went down a hole googling where it is/pictures and it is absolutely beautiful!!!! 

I eagerly await updates papi <3 

[kaguya-muneuji]

Dtgtghtggtgjteeg hi um I give you both Aira and Hiiro

Struggled with the hair

Didn't feel like line art but it probably would've been faster

Anyways demigod Aira was in my head after seeing you talk about it

Aira gets winged shoes and Hiiro gets a hat that makes him invisible

(Am recalling Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus where Annabeth has that hat)

And like when Aira and Hiiro encounter some kinda monster, Hiiro puts the hat on Aira and the winged shoes sense danger so they immediately fly Aira away

And Hiiro is left alone to fight the monster (Aira wanted to stay but Hiiro insisted he could fight alone)

As for the shoes, they originally just have a heart but as Aira meets the rest of Alkaloid, he sews patches of the symbols that represent them onto the shoes

Ok that's all. Giving you all the strength to complete your art project hiiai woo

im so sorry this took so long to answer i was sleeping and then i. i had to doodle for this. i cant stop thinking about it now. anyway this is going under a cut im going to. ramble. a lot now.

i think when aira first gets his winged shoes he immediately trips over himself- im not sure how hed get it, maybe he found them while cleaning out his closet or smth? they wouldnt have the wings then but after a couple of days BAM theyd have wings. these shoes be blessed by hermes! (or a god of travel / wind from different mythologies. im going greek just to make it easier on myself ajskdfkj) and then aira trips as the shoes try to fly off LMAO

i also think that. each shoe has one wing to make a pair of wings when together, so hed have to wear both shoes to be able to get the hang of it. idk i just always thought that itd be more interesting to have the shoes kinda imbalanced? idk what im getting at here. help

as for this au i think they wont necessarily be born demigods but more along the lines of "the gods blessed them and now they have slight powers / they have magical items that allow them to do things" so !! (this makes it easier on myself again)

okok!! hiiro time!! yes, the classic invis hat from percy jackson and the olympians <3 i love that book series so much... gahh!!! anyway i love the idea of him having an invis hat (i could not think of anything else ok. i am unoriginal) and hoenstly? he would be able to take a fight with a monster (hes canonically rly strong and im pretty sure he. also is in the karate(?) club with tetora) i dont think he'd use it much? i dunno. hmm does this mean he has been blessed by athena?

(i am extending this to alkaloid now) mayoi... he definitely has an item blessed (cursed?) by hades or smth. and he keeps it near / on him at all times which is partly why hes. so strange all the time. he doesnt want the effects of the item (maybe an amulet or some other small thing that he held sentimental value to?) to affect others. the other part of him being strange is. just his canon reasons. this au is literally just adding magic items to canon lmao btu STILL

tatsumi... i am thinking a pocketwatch. but imnot sure what magical properties it might have... i do NOT want it to be time related because at first tatsumi would think "i could use this to turn back time and everything would be reset and i wouldnt do the things i now regret" type of thing but when he realizes that its. not that. angst :) thats the only reason its a pocketwatch! im trying rly hard to coem up with a deity that would "fit" him but. its so hard... maybe hestia? goddess of the hearth, tatsumi being able to make a comfortable home for anyone in himself (METAPHORICALLY. PLEASE TELL ME THIS MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL.) anyway hestia blessing would be so tatsumayo. tatsumi using pocketwatch power to at first get closer to mayoi, then feeling bad that he did that so tatsumi isolates himself from mayoi, but mayoi, not knowing what tatsumi did, is confused (but also he was also trying to push him away bc. hades blessing/curse) and now is worried that oh no, i did actually push him away this is bad!!! but its ok they reconcile with the help of hiiai!

anyway thanks for listening to me ramble too much heres some doodles as a reward <3 (i did the mayoi and tatsumi part just now so no doodles for them)

[whamcitycomedy]

hello hello we're mutuals now so i feel the need to send an ask!!

have you at all thought about how the bad doggy/cerberus from myhouse.wad might relate to the minotaur? i have my ideas and opinions but i haven't read houes of leaves yet so i don't want to embarrass myself by sharing them lmao -- connor rotgut-inc <3

Ooh good question! Honestly I think I’d need to better cement for myself what I believe the Minotaur to be/represent in House of Leaves, and I’d need to finish my reread (which I’m currently only a few chapters into, so maybe I’ll return to this when I’m done) to really do this to my full satisfaction. There’s a lot going on in House of Leaves, and the Minotaur is a pretty ambiguous character (if it can be called a character?), BUT I’d say the main things it seems to be is a representation of Johnny Truant’s fears (or the fears of anyone in the house), but is also kind of… Johnny himself? idk, it’s complicated, but even just with that there are some interesting connections I think you can make to Cerberus/the bad doggy in myhouse.wad. On a surface level of course, they’re both from Greek mythology, and they both serve a similar purpose as the big scary monster hiding in the shadows of the house, waiting to get you/Johnny/Steve. But I also think that looking at the bad dog as a representation of Steve’s fears in a way similar to the Minotaur representing Johnny’s fears makes sense. The house (or really the .wad) seems infected/haunted by Steve’s memories and past, all of it, not just the bad parts, but the bad dog certainly seems to represent the bad and maybe frightening memories that are harder to confront for him. I do also like how the duality of the Minotaur (both a man and a bull) reflects the duality of Cerberus (the bad doggy is also the good doggy). The monstrous thing and the “good” thing are one and the same, or at least they cannot truly be separated. And I also like that both the Minotaur and Cerberus are creatures whose identity seems kind of confused, or multiple, (Cerberus has 3 heads, the Minotaur is a man and a bull)— I think both myhouse.wad and house of leaves deal to some degree with themes of identity, difficulty in understanding it, or expressing it in an honest way (Johnny lies about himself constantly, Steve also seems to obscure his true self, it’s to different degrees and for different reasons, but still). Also one more thing I want to say is that I think there are probably several things in myhouse.wad that serve a similar purpose to the Minotaur. Potentially all of the monsters you have to fight are part of it. Or Shrek. Shrek could be the Minotaur. Anyway, not sure how much sense any of that made, I was kind of just rambling, but regardless I’d love to hear your thoughts on the bad doggy!! (If you feel like sharing, that is, no pressure)

[grasscore]

more bummer ramblings below

literally just sitting here crying my eyes out reading people's posts on the bipolar subreddit and like i dont know what to do with any of that.

i've been really scared that what i've been dealing with is addiction, because it felt like adhd impulsivity + stimulation craving but on steroids, like boosted to 100,000%

but idk the more i think about it all, it might be hypo/mania. like im basically nearing about 3 months of constantly just making connections between things in my head, sleeping for only a few hours a night, literally not doing my job, feeling extremely social but only online and completely neglecting irl relationships and responsibilities, not eating or drinking water, etc..

and some of it has been really good! like i have created some art and actually finished some shit for once whereas i usually just get really hype and start a project but never finish. so im happy about that, and i think its ok that i'm like.. trying to be more 'social' online because i work from home and because of covid don't have a ton of irl options for 'public' life. in ways it feels like an improvement to me where before i felt like absolutely 0 motivation at all, just sitting on tiktok for literally 6-10 hours per day (i basically havent even opened the app in like 2 months which felt like an improvement, but im now working WAY less even than when i was in that phase).. but the fact that this 'creative productivity and sociable/positive mood' is paired with me basically not doing my job AT ALL + not sleeping or eating, etc.. ive been feeling a little better in the past couple weeks because i thought like..maybe i have an 'addiction' or at the very least a destructive pattern so i thought the solution could be.. being mega aware of my actions at all times, meticulously tracking every hour of my day and recording what i do and making plans for every chunk of the day..which hasnt been hurting, it's helped me remember the really basic things, keeping my priorities 'straight' in theory. but every second of the day is this really uncomfortable restlessness and if i dont put my energy into a project or something that i'm excited about i feel like im crawling out of my skin.. ive been smoking like crazy. and now that ive finished my project i feel like im itching inside my skin lmao

idk especially reading people's posts on the reddit about how it's showed up throughout their life.. im just thinking about the year where i was 100% convinced that i was like.. in a simulation / samsara and that a meteor was coming.. and that i was getting visions of future iterations of the simulations thru my dreams. but i never told anyone about it because i was like,.. oh i dont actually believe these things, even though i'm terrified out of my mind thinking about them because they feel so real and if i see anything online that is slightly related to 'the simulation' or a meteor hitting earth i would spiral with paranoia and anxiety.

like i just feel like im screaming into the void in all my relationships trying to explain how out of control and scared i feel.. but everyone has just been like 'hey, it's alright, you seem fine to me, your standards for yourself are too high' and im like ok tell that to the fact i've worked maybe 5 hours a week every week for the last 3 months. like ive spent the last month pretty much terrified that im just going to keep making bad/impulsive decisions until i'm fired and/or dead

[kowaindar0u]

//

One thing about having had yasu as an oc previously to making him a touken danshi is that it's sooooo much more natural to me to just call him Yasu but I do think it makes more sense to address him as Taikyuu since like... Just generally speaking, saying "Yasusada" means yamatonokami obv LOL

So what I'm saying is a) use whichever u like and b) if you see me switching back and forth... Shhh...

(editing cause this post is lonnng lol. Yasu headcanons under the cut)

Also one big part of me just... Thinking about him in general is always always ... Him vs. Hasebe lol

Like ... I say "they'll totally butt heads" but I would not be surprised if they wound up at least almost straight-up fighting, if not actually doing so lol. They're both hotheaded enough, and one of them is bound to say something to set the other one off. And then they get sent on a mission, maybe wind up cornered or separated together and AGH... Them fighting so hard to protect each other and like. Gaining some mutual respect...

Like it wouldn't stop them from fighting at all but I also like to imagine that Yasu might often be seen lurking around wherever toudans are summoned, hoping it might be another of harada's swords/spear... Of course yasu wouldn't want to admit that he's waiting for that, or that in some ways he feels a bit lonely, and maybe... Maybe Hasebe would check in on him... Like I think they're only friends on the battlefield or behind closed doors lol

Or maybe when there's alcohol involved LOL

Completely unrelated but I also have always headcanoned that yasu likes to dance, whether it be pretty elegant dances or hard intense choreo LOL he's very flexible and agile and it's a harmless way to get energy out

i bet midare would think he's cool and ask him to join their little idol group jdjdjdksjdjs but yasu would be like "no that's childish" but midare is like "pleeeeeease? 🥺🥺🥺 maybe not full-time if you don't want... But...maybe you could feature or something?" and he is actually a bit surprised and definitely swayed by the actual interest and begrudgingly accepts to feature only to have an absolute blast and teach them maybe some harder moves idk

(also in this same vein sometimes I try to imagine yasu in myu but I haven't the slightest idea of anyone to play him or anything... I (still) have Ignition from Hanakage stuck in my head so naturally I'm envisioning him maybe dueting with hasebe or something HAHA)

Also this might be a little odd LOL but

I've always said also that yasu hates to be restricted/restrained/contained etc, it makes him anxious MAD and thus he fights harder..? (in d&d he would absolutely have a level in barbarian. he's got the rage). So that's my explanation to why he wears a harness under his (battle) getup. keeps him mad but also a bit grounded/alert. When he gets injured and the harness breaks he is Unleashed(TM)

I'm still not sure how exactly he and Yamatonokami see each other. I think Yasu sees him similar to just like. A brother who grew up in a different household y'know. They're both shinsengumi swords but were under different masters and eventually split off so they're... A little estranged.

I had a other thought but ... It's gone now... Byebye... *watches it float out the window* 🎈

lmao I hope you enjoyed this random yasu rambling LOL it got long but I love him so much