#Icagw

[exploring-in-space]

I've finally written for the first time in months! I feel inspired and hopeful that I can share a story after so many months of feeling uninspired and burnt out. I want to share what I've written so far and welcome any feedback!

It's a little lengthy so I'll put it under a cut ☺

Aaron calls on an inconspicuous Wednesday afternoon. 

Robert had missed the call because he’d been in meetings all afternoon with clients. When he’s back in his hotel room and sees the missed call, his heart momentarily stops. Anxiety and consternation fills his veins at the sight - a feeling he hasn’t felt in years, when he still depended on the bottle to get him through the days. Why was Aaron calling him?

He rubs the screen of his phone absentmindedly as he runs through the possible reasons Aaron could be calling after all these years. But as he’s contemplating the why’s, the phone abruptly starts to ring. It’s Aaron again. The reality of seeing the phone ring with a very old picture of Aaron on his screen startles Robert enough to drop his phone instead of answering.

By the time he picks the phone back up, he’s missed Aaron’s second call, and Robert is not above admitting the relief he feels. But the relief is short lived when a text comes in seconds later. 

Robert, its Aaron. Pls call. Its important.

It’s important. What could be important between them after years of silence? The curiosity of it starts to outweigh the trepidation, and so Robert presses the call button, and brings a shaky hand up to his ear. The phone only rings twice before Aaron’s voice abruptly ends the ringing, “Robert.”

“Hiya, sorry about earlier, I was-”

“Mum and Paddy are dead,” Aaron interrupts the flimsy lie that was on Robert’s lips. Aaron’s announcement stuns Robert into silence. Of all the things Aaron could have called about, this never crossed Robert’s mind. He thinks of the last time he saw Chas - in a hospital bed as she glowered down at him. 

You’ll ruin him just like you’ve ruined yourself

“Robert?” comes Aaron’s voice, noticeably watery now that Robert can contextualize Aaron’s voice.

“Sorry…I mean, Aaron. I’m so sorry. What happened?” Robert winces at the words. They don’t feel nearly enough.

“Car accident. They were driving from Leeds back home. It was rainy and dark, and-” Aaron cuts off, but Robert can guess what happened next. The thought of Chas and Paddy dying so anticlimactically disturbs Robert. He always thought they were so boring and they’d live well into their old age with a brood of grandchildren.

“What about Eve?” The thought of hypothetical grandchildren reminds Robert of their own very real daughter.

“She’s here. I’m at the pub. I was babysitting when I got the call.”

“Aaron, I’m so sorry.” Robert feels like a broken record, but what else could he say?

“I-I just needed to tell ya. I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but Vic talks about you all the time. And I just…wanted you to know.”

Aaron’s words, for the first time since they’ve spoken, brings the telltale prickle to Robert’s eyes. The last time they weathered a hardship together, they’d been engaged and in love. Now it’s been three years since they last had spoken, and Aaron is the bigger person to call Robert. He’s always been too good for Robert. 

“I’m in London,” Robert says, but before Aaron can respond to the non sequitur, he continues, “but only for a work trip. I can come to Emmerdale…if you want me to be there for you. And Eve, of course.”

You’ll ruin him just like you’ve ruined yourself

There’s a pregnant pause, before Aaron says something. “I’d really like that,” he whispers, and the pesky tears in Robert’s eyes fall down his cheeks. 

“I can be there by tomorrow morning,” Robert promises, mentally juggling all the meetings he will have to reschedule. 

“Okay.”

“Aaron?” Robert holds his breath, knowing the conversation is over, but desperate to continue to hear Aaron’s voice. “Despite the terrible circumstances, it’s good to hear your voice.”

There is a long pause that makes Robert want to snatch the words back and to apologize for the crassness of his statement. But just when Robert is going to say something, Aaron quietly says, “Me too.”

Any sort of trepidation that Robert had been feeling slowly evaporates and they say their quiet good-byes shortly afterwards. Robert pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at the photo of Aaron trying to cover his face because he was tired of Robert taking photos. It was the day they had gotten engaged, and despite Aaron trying to shield his face, there was a smile on his face. 

That photo was taken only three months before Robert walked away from Aaron for good. He idly wonders if Aaron has smiled like that since. 

Robert slumps in the chair he’s sitting, and for the first time in years, he wants a drink.