#IYF

[inyourfacex]

Tyler, The Creator - IGOR’S THEME / IGOR

[inyourfacex]

Amaarae - Fountain Baby

[kneipe]

schwerin 2024

[rainbowd4she]

“ONE WEEK, ONE PROMPT” CHALLENGE, WEEK 2 - 10 AVRIL 2024 : SYLVIA PLATH

POV Will (1181 mots)

“Elias, 

On ne s’est pas vus depuis plusieurs mois déjà, alors je suppose que cette lettre devrait commencer par ça : comment vas-tu ? Puisque tu ne la liras jamais, n’y répondra jamais non plus, je ne vois pas trop l’intérêt de poser la question. C’est simplement que je ne sais pas comment faire ça. T’écrire. C’est une idée d’Abrams, tu t’en doutes. Elle ne sait pas pour les messages vocaux que je te laisse presque tous les soirs, évidemment. Si elle se doutait un seul instant de la façon dont je te harcèle sans cesse, elle me ferait sûrement interner. Elle ne sait pas que c’est grâce à ça que je tiens bon. Parce que j’entends ta voix, chaque fois que j’appelle, même si ce n’est que pour un instant. Parce que j’appelle sans arrêt et que tu n’as toujours pas fait couper la ligne. J’imagine qu’une part de moi s’accroche inlassablement à cette réalité : tu n’as pas coupé la ligne. Est-ce que ça veut dire que tu attends mes messages, d’une certaine façon ? Tant que tu ne réponds pas, je peux imaginer ce que je veux. 

Bref, Abrams… Elle m’a donné ce conseil stupide. T’écrire une lettre. Plusieurs lettres, peut-être. Pour te dire ce que j’ai sur le cœur. Toutes ces choses que je ne pourrais jamais te dire en face. Je ne sais même pas pourquoi je fais cet exercice stupide alors que je t’ai parlé hier. Enfin, parlé… Tu sais. Peut-être parce qu’il y a quand même des choses que je ne dis pas au téléphone. Des mots qui restent coincés dans ma poitrine, que je ne peux pas t’avouer. Ni à moi, pour ce que ça vaut. 

Je t’aime toujours. Et tu me manques encore. Tout ça, tu le sais. Et je crois que tu le ressens aussi, parfois. Après tout, à quoi ça pourrait bien te servir d’avoir un téléphone américain, sinon ? Je t’aime, tu me manques, et je ne crois pas que je pourrais arrêter un jour. Je te jure que j’essaye. Je sors. Je vois mes parents, mes amis. J’ai des amants, parfois. Je crois bien que je sors avec quelqu’un, en fait. Je ne t’ai jamais dit ça dans mes messages, je sais, je suis désolé. Ce n’est vraiment rien de sérieux et si tu décidais de revenir tout à coup, le choix serait vite fait entre lui et toi… Mais ce n’est pas l’important. Ce qui me ronge, ce que je ne te demande jamais quand je t’appelle, c’est pourquoi ? Non, pas ça. Je sais pourquoi tu m’as quitté. Je sais pourquoi tu es parti vivre à l’autre bout du monde dans l’espoir de m’échapper. Mais… Est-ce que c’était vraiment si terrible, toi et moi ? Moi, surtout, je sais bien. Je sais que je suis difficile à vivre, que je te fais mal sans arrêt sans le vouloir, parfois même sans m’en apercevoir. J’ai toujours cru que tu savais, en retour, que ce n’est pas vraiment méchant, pas vraiment toi le problème. Que certaines habitudes sont difficiles à perdre. Que j’ai du mal à te comprendre, parfois, que j’ai du mal à gérer les choses qui font mal. Et c’est dur, bien sûr. Quand ça ne va plus, quand on se déchire et qu’on se blesse, c’est tellement dur. Mais ça en vaut la peine, pas vrai ? Toi et moi, ça vaut toutes les douleurs du monde. Parce que tu es mon meilleur ami, mon âme sœur. Parce que même quand ça devient vraiment laid, tu me connais, tu sais qui je suis derrière le masque et les mots durs. Alors on s’accroche. On se fait un peu mal, et on se pardonne. 

C’est ce que je croyais, avant que tu ne partes. Un peu après, aussi. Seulement, j’imagine qu’on a tous nos limites. Que personne ne peut endurer à l’infini. Et j’espère que tu te sens mieux, maintenant. Que sans moi, tu peux respirer à nouveau. Je te jure que je le pense. Je n’ai jamais voulu que ton bonheur. Je croyais qu’on était heureux, tous les deux. Je repense sans arrêt aux bons souvenirs, à ce que ça faisait de t’avoir près de moi. Sauf que maintenant, ça n’a plus vraiment la même saveur. Je me demande toujours si tu as vécu chaque souvenir comme moi, finalement. Souvent, j’ai bien peur que non. 

J’avance aussi, tu sais. Je crois qu’une partie de moi sera toujours un peu brisée, mais j’ai changé. Je me sens mieux. Je ne fais plus tellement mal aux gens autour de moi. Je voudrais que tu puisses le voir. Je voudrais que t’en aies envie, et que tu te rendes compte que je m’améliore. Que ça te donne envie de revenir. Je ne le fais même pas pour toi, c’est le pire. Je veux juste que tout rentre dans l’ordre. Et que, peut-être, un jour, je sois suffisamment guéri pour rencontrer quelqu’un d’autre. J’aimerais tellement que tu reviennes, mais après tout ce temps, ces tentatives sans succès… Je commence à accepter l’idée que ça n’arrivera probablement pas. Oh, ça me brise le cœur chaque fois que j’y pense, mais c’est comme ça. Je commence même à y penser sérieusement. Signer les papiers du divorce. Je vais le faire, je te le promets. Bientôt. 

Je veux que tu sois heureux, Elias. Je veux que tu sois la personne la plus heureuse de cette foutue planète. Et je vois bien que tu y arrives parfaitement sans mon aide. J’espère pouvoir en faire autant bientôt. En attendant, s’il y a eu quelque chose de bien entre nous, penses-y parfois, d’accord ? Fais-le pour moi. Je sais que tu ne me dois rien, mais j’espère que tu en auras envie. Pour toi, peut-être. Parce que même si elle t’a fait souffrir au point que t’aies dû partir sans regarder en arrière, je crois que cette histoire a compté pour toi aussi ? Et ce serait vraiment tragique si tu n’en gardais rien de bien. 

À toi pour toujours, 

Will. ”

Quand il repose enfin le stylo, sa main le fait souffrir. La lettre n’est pourtant pas très longue, mais il n’a jamais tenu un stylo aussi fort. Trop peur que ses doigts tremblent, sans doute. Il souffle doucement sur la feuille de papier pour s’assurer que l’encre soit bien sèche avant de la plier soigneusement, puis de la ranger dans une enveloppe assortie. De son écriture élégante, il inscrit “Elias” au centre de l’enveloppe, et la pose bien à plat au milieu du bureau. Le Docteur Abrams ne lui a pas dit ce qu’il était censé en faire après l’avoir écrite. Ne pas l’envoyer, d’accord, mais quoi alors ? Un moment, il la regarde fixement. Comme s’il espérait que quelque chose ait changé, peut-être. Ce n’est pas le cas. Cette affreuse douleur dans sa poitrine lui paraît même un peu plus vraie. Il croit avoir le cœur littéralement brisé. Alors il ouvre le premier tiroir du bureau qui lui passe sous la main et pousse la lettre dedans, le referme très vite. Ça fait toujours mal. Il commence à croire que ça fera toujours mal.

[pacifymebby]

if you're feeling sinister / chapter six

Titch

I awoke on Monday morning wrapped up in Van's arms on the sofa, a blanket had been pulled up over my shoulders and a pillow tucked awkwardly behind Van's head. Probably his mam's doing.

Larry hadn't been found, hadn't come home. The police were looking for him, the woods were being searched. I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in days. I felt like I was the only one who knew the truth, the truth that he wasn't coming home, that something terrible had happened, that our town was too small for people to just disappear.

But still everyone said the same, they told me not to worry, they told me to try and get some rest. They told me that Larry would be back soon, that's he'd probably just gotten lost in the woods. I couldn't stand to listen to it but I couldn't look kind people in the eyes and tell them to shut the fuck up, so I looked them in the eyes and said nothing at all. I barely spoke.

Instead I stuck close to Van's side, smoking the cigarettes he rolled for me. Wearing the sweaters he chucked at me when I sat shivering. It wasn't that I was too cold.

Instead I wandered around in a daze, my mind replaying those haunted seconds when in the dead of night Id been sure I'd seen Larry standing there opposite me in the living room. His image flickering in and out of focus like the static at the end of a video. I was certain of what I'd seen and yet I didn't dare breathe a word of it to anyone.

That night I'd jumped, flinched at the sight of my friend quivering in front of me, his shadow strange and out of reach. The gasp which had escaped me had stirred Van and he'd found my hand with his and tried to squeeze my fingers to reassure me. Hadn't succeeded in offering me anything but his presence there beside me. And I hadn't told him what I'd seen. I couldn't bring myself to describe the uncanny shadow which had seemed so much like Larry and yet not at all. Like a ghost or a fragment of memory. Humans couldn't flicker in and out of focus like that. They couldnt dissolve into static right before your eyes.

That morning when I woke up I could hear the rest of the house already come to life, Vans mam in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Guests in the kitchen chatting away to her about her trouble making son and his friends. She was trying not to mention Larry and I could sense the tension bristling all around her when I slipped from Van's lap and into the kitchen to offer my help.

Her eyes went wide at the sight of me, shocked and sympathetic all at once.

"Pepper love, what're you doing up so early go on get yourself back to bed..."

"Thought you might like some help?" I said hoping she'd hear the raise in my pitch at the tail of my sentence, hoping she'd realise that bed was the last place I wanted to go, but if she did she ignored it and said again.

"Go on go back to sleep pet you look shattered."

When she shooed me out the kitchen with her tea towel she was smiling, making her guests laugh, but they didn't know how literally she'd meant that word. Shattered. I did look shattered. I looked like I'd fallen apart and been put back together by the most half hearted architect and when Van saw me as I fell back down beside him on the sofa he let out a sigh.

"What're we gonna do with you eh lass?" He asked as he put his arm lazily around my shoulder, "you wanna ditch today?" He asked but I shook my head.

"No point," I said softly thinking that if Larry were to turn up it wouldn't be at school. Thinking that if I had to spend another day troubled and haunted by the memory of his flickering ghost I didn't want to spend it in the very room I'd found myself haunted in.

"Could be good for you I guess," said Van, pretending like he was only talking about me, pretending like he'd been feeling just fine all weekend, "take your mind off everything..."

"Maybe I can have a nice wee gossip with my new therapist," I sneered making him laugh. Grinning when he made a joke about taking a packet of sweets to share with her whilst we talked about boys. But I'd already decided I wasn't going to be talking to my therapist, and I'd already decided that the only reason I was going in at all was to get myself out of the house and away from the woods and away from the memory of Larry watching us sleep.

"How're you gettin in kids I'll drive yous?" Called Van's dad just as we were kicking out trainers on by the door. I was crouched fiddling with the laces of my converse when I looked up at Van and shook my head, eyes begging him to come up with an excuse for us to walk.

I didn't want to go in straight away, I wanted to skip assembly and the fuss that would follow the announcement of Larry as a missing person. I didn't want to feel all the eyes that would turn to stare at us, his left behind friends.

"Nah you're alrate dad," called Van grabbing his keys and shoving them in his pocket, grabbing a box of cigs from the pocket of a jacket he wasn't going to wear. "Meetin the gang on the walk anyway!"

"Well be careful, make sure you..."

"Aye we will dunner worry!" He shouted back as the door swung shut behind us.

The second we were down the bottom of the drive he took out two cigs, lighting one before he handed it to me, lighting his and inhaling dramatically, exhaling with a sigh of relief.

"Don't sound so relieved," I said quietly as we wandered down the road at a more than leisurely pace, "that's gonna be everyone else for the rest of the day."

But it wasn't.

We met Bob first, he was just leaving his house as we passed along the garden fence and we didn't have to stop for him to catch us. He fell into step beside us and nodded good morning but didn't actually say a word. He wasn't a morning person at the best of times but he didn't look like he'd had much sleep. Safe to say we all looked the same in that sense.

Benji and Mia were already waiting for us under the tree at the end of their garden, hiding from the view of their kitchen window whilst they smoked. Mia was dressed almost identically to me, a pleated skirt, a pair of knee socks, converse with cream leg warmers scrunched lazily around her ankles. Her cardigan was too big, my sweater which was actually Vans sweater was also too big. She wore her hair the way she always did, half scraped back from either side in a little pony tail, the rest down, a beige scrunchie with a little tuft of hair sticking out. She only really looked like her brother because they had the same eyes and brows. The same frown.

It was the frown they were wearing when he stopped at the bottom of their garden.

"Bond phoned just before we left the house," said Benji, his eyes dark, "said him and Suki would meet us later," he said, Mia's eyes darting to mine and tearing away almost immediately as if she were worried to be caught showing concern for me.

It was a fair enough worry though she was right to be concerned. Benji's words had sent a bitter stab to my chest and when Van started grumbling about how we were all supposed to be sticking together I felt my irritation sharpen. When I snatched his hand and dragged him ahead he seemed shocked but he shouldn't have been.

"Ah c'mon love it ain't that bad I'm sure they're just..."

"Wankers." I replied quickly, stubborn and sullen, my sulk making Van laugh as I practically dragged him up the hill towards school.

"Slow down Titch you're gonna make us early!" Shouted Benji as we rounded the corner onto Larry's street.

I stopped when I saw the police car outside his house, when I saw the curtains drawn across the living room window. His mam didn't want anyone looking in on her, didn't want anyone to see her tears, her fear. She probably felt like everyone was watching her, probably felt sick with all the eyes turned to her front door. I knew how that felt and when I felt Van tug on my sleeve to shift me along up the road I pulled away from him and wrapped my arms around myself, holding myself, trying to keep myself steady and straight.

I watched the quiet street from behind my fringe, kept my eyes hidden from anyone who might have been watching me. People who were nosy, who lived for the drama, the excitement of watching someone else live through hell. In this town I was the girl at the center of the horror stories, I was the one they whispered about even when the story had moved on without me. Larry was missing not me, Larry's mum was grieving, not me. And yet it was me the mothers watched, me who made them shake their heads, me the other kids spoke of in hushed judgemental tones.

By the time we got to the edge of the playing fields the rest of the school had been shut inside the sports hall for assembly. That left us to throw out bags down right on the edge of the field behind the football goal, hidden in plain sight.

Bondy and Suki hadn't shown up and as Van lit a joint and passed it around the circle I hardly even noticed him waiting for me to take my turn.

"Titch," he half sang to me waving the smouldering roll up in front of my face until the smoke stung my eyes and drew me back to reality.

"Oh," I breathed, eyes scanning the field again for any sign of my best mates.

Van tried to distract me by playing me a strokes tune on his shit little brick phone, offering to Bluetooth it to me if I liked it, but I was hardly listening. My mind was on other things, other people. Not just Suki and Johnny but on Larry too. The strange flickering ghost of Larry who'd been watching me in Van's living room.

The shadow I'd seen fleeing the window in the dead of night.

"Do you have to go see her again?" Asked Mia with a sympathetic frown, head cocked to one side. She was following on from something Van had said in my defense. Something about how I was probably just worrying about Larry, about therapy about how people would treat me now that my friend was missing...

"Yeah," I sighed, "I honestly think it's a legal requirement I can't remember... all I knows I got into a lot of shit last time I started bunkin em..."

"A legal requirement? Seriously thats insane!"

"No love," I said, "that's me..." I smirked taking a drag on the joint and passing it to her, "that's the point."

As we smoked I began to feel at least some of my worries dissipate. I wasn't so worried about Suki and Johnny anymore. Those kinds of worries began to feel trivial. I wasn't so nervous to go to class, though if I'd known what the day had in for me I'd probably have turned around and headed home again.

The weed didn't however ease my worried mind when it came to thoughts of Larry. When it came to thoughts of the ghost in the living room. The shadow in the window.

Those thoughts I couldn't shake to save my life and when it finally came time to wander into school, into our first class of the day, it was those thoughts which left me scowling. Too preoccupied to notice that the usually vacant seat beside me at the back of English had been taken.

"Ahh Pepper lass," sighed Mr Oakes, he'd grown up in this small seaside town, only ten years older than my parents, both of whom he'd taught English to when they'd been in school. He was looking at me now with the expression of someone who was trying to hide their sympathy. "Wasn't sure you'd be in today lass but eh, glad to see you cause we've a new lad joined us an I reckon you're the only one I trust to look after him..."

"Uh... oh," I said looking up at Me Oakes and then down at my desk where I saw that he was in fact right. There were two hands resting on the desk beside me, one hand holding a pen, the other tapping it's fingers on the blue surface.

I followed the hands up the arms to the shoulders and neck to see a scruffy mop of brownish blonde hair, and then when I looked back between my teacher and the lad sitting in the seat beside mine I saw an awkward smile.

"Sorry," he winced, "am Sam..."

"Hi Sam..." I said quietly, trailing off, so taken by surprise that for a moment I forgot I needed to sit down. I hovered for a moment looking back at Mr Oakes in confusion, a small frown knitted on my brow. Why was he giving me someone to look after today of all days? He would have been told about Larry... he would know what I was going through...

And yet there we were. Him offering me a small smile, nodding to my seat to remind me to sit down. This lad next to me... Sam, offering me another tight awkward little smile as I sat down beside him. Me, trying not to glare at him, trying not to be too hostile in my state of confusion.

I had that stoner anxiety as I sat down and took my pen out only to realise that I didn't really need it. Reaching for my book instead, I was rereading Carrie but when I placed it down on the desk in front of me and saw Leah Smith smirking, not bothering to hide her mouth as she whispered the word "psycho" to her friend, I thought twice. Hesitated before opening it, pretending to read because I was too shy to speak to this "Sam."

"What're you reading?" He asked after a moment reading over my shoulder with a small smirk.

"I'm not really reading it..." I started feeling awkward when he smirked and leant forward on his elbows, tilting his head in towards mine conspiratorially.

"So you're just pretending to read are ya?"

"Not because I don't wanna talk to you..." I started with a guilty blush, knowing that one look at me would tell him that that was exactly why I was pretending to read.

"No?" He asked with raised brows, at first he looked amused but when he leant back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders, the way he tried to laugh me off made me feel terrible and awkward. "S'alreet lass I wouldn't wanna be lumped with the weird new kid either.." he said with a smirk, "a was gonna tell ya yas don't need to pretend to be me friend like..." he chuckled, "just let me know who all the cunts are and then I'll piss off..."

I bit back a guilty smile, looking at my hands on the desk.

"well I'm bein a bit of a cunt right now for a start..." I said quieter, a stricken mumble which made him crack a laugh, turned a couple of heads back in our direction. Stirred another barely concealed whisper from Leah Smith. I looked up, glaring at her sullenly, only half hearing when Sam spoke again so that he had to nudge me with his elbow and repeat himself.

"She one an all?"

"Would you believe me if I told you she used to be my best mate?"

"Nah," he said shaking his head subtly, following my gaze where I remained holding her icy glare.

"When we were little, like preschool, apparently we were bezzie mates," I said chewing on the tip of my pen, opening my book again, barely skimming the pages this time as me and Sam carried on talking awkward and quiet through to the end of class.

By the time the lesson was through my anxiety had begun to settle and as I scraped my chair along the floor pushing it back to stand and sling my backpack over my shoulder, I caught Sam's relieved smile with one of my own.

"Who have you got for maths?" I asked him as he shoved his things in his bag and stood up, only milling around for him. Usually id have been considering skipping maths to hang out at the back of the bike sheds with Johnny and Van but I didn't mind staying for maths if I had class with Sam because so far he'd proven to be alright.

"Mr Dunwoody or somet I think.." he said only wincing when he saw me wince.

"Ouch," I said chewing my cheek, "I can't walk with you cause my class is only across the corridor and I'll end up getting dragged in won't I..."

For a second I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes, his smirk faltering only for a second before he was shrugging me off.

"Nah," he said shaking his head, "you're alright lass, don't need mindin everywhere like," he grinned, "just glad a know there's someone sound in English like," he grinned, the two of us stopping in the classroom doorway. I was looking for Suki and Mia who were usually just coming out of the class next door. Sam was looking at me.

When I looked back at him I felt stunned for a moment, I hadn't expected him to still be there, hadn't expected to find his eyes studying me.

"Reet well, wish us luck.." he smirked holding his hand up in a still wave before turning to walk away. Leaving me behind to wait for my friends.

I stood alone for a minute or two, slipping my earphones out of my pocket, putting one in, listening to mazzy star as I watched other kids bundled past me in a flow of relentless traffic. When Mia materialised beside me she was smirking, her eyes following someone down the corridor.

"Who was that?" She asked nodding in the general direction of students dawdling to class.

"What?"

"Who was that lad you were talkin to just now?" She asked her smile impish and naive.

"Oh," I breathed nodding my head, "new kid," I shrugged, "Oakes sat him next to me..."

"And does this new kid have a name?" She asked verging on a giggle as she knocked her elbow into me.

"Sam," I said, "can we go?"

"You can... I actually intend to get my GCSEs..." she smirked pushing away from the walls we'd been leaning against, "you're really not coming?" She asked but I shook my head, I didn't exactly feel good letting her down but I had my reasons.

"Got to meet my new bestie in half an hour anyway," I said with a dry smirk and dark malicious eyes.

"Oh," she said swallowing a little lump in her throat, "right... yeah... listen Titch... you gonna talk to her bout Larry?" She asked, I could see her trying not to wince. Could tell she was getting nervous not just because she'd mentioned his name, but because she was now late for maths.

"Not gonna talk to her about anything Mia,"

"I dunno Titch, it could be a good idea..."

"Won't bring him back," I shrugged feeling like I was stating the obvious, not realising until I saw her awkward smile falter that I'd said the wrong thing. "Shit sorry Mia," I sighed, "look I'll see you later yeah, don't worry about any of it yeah, sure it'll all be sound," I said, hating myself when I heard my voice, the lack of conviction.

Hating myself when ten minutes later I found myself behind the bike sheds with Van and Benji, playing with matches as if we were victorian street urchins, suddenly taken faint and silent at the sight of our friend grinning at us from the edge of the path.

Our friend who I should have been happy to see. Our friend who I couldn't bring myself to be relieved was walking towards us now, bright eyed, one hand raised to call out to Van.

"Canna believe yous are back here without me!" Called Larry, his voice startling Van and Benji who hadn't noticed him until he'd spoken.

"Shit... Lau!" Grinned Van, his voice shaking despite the smile on his face. That was just relief though. If I'd felt relieved perhaps I'd have done the same.

But I didn't, and I didn't feel like smiling. I felt hollow. Couldn't stop thinking about how he'd looked that morning standing in the dark of Van's living room. Dead.

[curryvillain]

We Have Highlights Of The Mandeville Staging Of @IYFJamaica's "K-Fest 2024"

Over the past weekend (June 1), the International Youth Fellowship (IYF Jamaica) held the Mandeville staging of their annual “K-Fest” event. The event started little over 3 years ago, and was held to promote a stronger relationship with Korea and Jamaica, bring people together to share cultures, food, languages, and entertainment, expanding tastes and minds in the process. Held at the Fellowship…

[inyourfacex]

My list of top Nas songs may differ significantly from others, but I must say that "Life’s a Bitch" is definitely among my favorites, even though it's not included in my top choices. I also have a soft spot for Amy Winehouse; she will always hold a special place in my heart.

The next track features a verse and production by Ye, along with a sweet sample from Diana Ross. Chrisette Michelle adds her lovely vocals to the mix as well!

[internationaldayoffamilies]

The Family and the Future of Humanity.

In celebration of the International Day of Families (A/RES/47/237), the Group of Friends of the Family, together with civil society, is hosting an event on the theme of the family and the future of humanity in preparation for the Summit of the Future. The objective of the event is to provide a platform to hear the views of experts in demography, economics, and family policy and their findings on family-oriented policies in view of the Summit of the Future, and to provide an opportunity for Member States and civil society organizations to exchange views on this matter.

Watch the The Family and the Future of Humanity!

[inyourfacex]

Destin Conrad - Nosebleed

[kneipe]

schwerin 2023

[okjnz]

Magic iPad magician connect with you

BarbieHow do I know when I can be on a diet uhhhbb t t yybnuuhb.

?

[rockintapper]

im stupid for updated tumbr on my tablet

[iskconraichur]

College Preaching - BACE (Bhaktivedanta Academy for Culture and Education)

[mukulmahor7060]

Describe IYF TV.

You can watch practically any Chinese movie on IYF TV, a website that streams Chinese TV shows and movies. You can view the content on the website without spending a single penny. This style focuses on Chinese ingredients, as was already mentioned; other films may not be included. However, it includes every type of Chinese cinema. If you are looking for new and popular action movies or classical romance, then this website is the right place for you. The website homepage shows how important convenience and an easy-to-use interface are to this website.

[tr1ck5]

10 songs 10 people

I got tagged by @chainsawmascara like a hundred years ago and just now found some time to do it! Woops 😅

1-

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10-

Oops! All EDM haha though you guys are used to it from me by now I hope!

I tag @angelosearch @gardengalwrites @suleikashideaway @sevlinop @thewillroar @irishais @foxtrottcantfindshit @aleheartilly @wandererstorytellers @ohshitthisbloghasothercolors

No pressure of course!! Discovering new tunes is fun! :B

[pacifymebby]

if you’re feeling sinister / chapter four

Johnny

It was one of those hot, close kind of afternoons. Grey claustrophobic skies gathering over head. The air had that thunderstorm musky kind of quality. It can't have been helping the doomed feeling my insincts were beginning to kindle around.

"Larry!" yelled Van, his voice disappearing further down the coastal path Larry often walked back on. He usually met his secret lass down here, the one he didn't think we knew as much about as we did, they usually dawdled along the the cliff edge, blowing canabis smoke down into the dunes. "Larry!" shouted Van again, no longer leaving any quiet in which we could listen out for his return call.

We'd already walked the path once, earlier that afternoon once we'd done the first circuit of the town. We'd knocked doors and asked around anyone we thought he might have had anything to do with the night before. When we'd run out of people he might have spoken to we started knocking every other door coming up with any excuse to justify disturbing the neighbours day. And because Larry worked Saturdays and Sundays in the local shop he knew most people, so we knocked on most doors.

And we heard nothing, and people looked at us with dusgruntled confusion and sometimes they looked concerned or they said they were sorry and promised to let us know if they did hear anything, but mostly they just shook their heads and said no, they hadn't heard from him. "Out late last night was he?" asked that one like they suspected us of causing trouble, suspected that whatever was going on it was our own fault.

Now we were trailing the coastal path slowly, growing tense. Ignoring hunger, the sweaty grimy skin crawling sensation of having been out walking through the humidity all day. Already knowing we weren't going to get anywhere. Carrying on because we didn't want to have to go back to Larrys mum and tell her she needed to phone him in as a missing person. Didn't want to go back to the girls and tell them that it was all more serious than we'd first thought.

And as Van started shouting for Larry again I let out a sigh, shoved my hands into my jeans pockets and closed my eyes. Wincing when I said it.

"You think we should check the woods now eh Van?" I said knowing that saying something like that, in a town like this, was like signing the death certificate myself. Giving up all for the sake of not wanting to give up.

Van screwed his face up, turned back to me. Almost looked pissed off when he shoved his sweaty hair from his face.

"Why would he be there its fuckin miles from his house?"

"Aye but we've searched everywhere else haven't we..." I said looking over at Benji who had stopped now too and was listening closely with the same wary, knowing expression.

"Fuck, yeah, whatever he's right Van its the only place we haven't looked.."

"Aye but it wouldn't make any fuckin sense... Why would he..."

"If you follow this path far enough it skims along the edge of the woods further down the coast... You know where the trees thin out reet down in the dunes..."

"Thats fuckin miles away..."

"Maybe he was after elongating the evening with his lassie," I tried to smirk, tried to wiggle my brows and ease the tension but I couldn't do that when I was sugesting our best mate might have ventured into those cursed woods at night, with a girl or even alone, ten years to the month that our town had looked out onto something like hell. After they'd found my mum, after they'd found Peppers mum and a little later her dad, hanging - the manner of his death apparently evidence enough to prove him guilty of it all.

"Yeah," groaned Van taking a cig from his pocket and lighting up, "fine fuck it..."

The way I saw it there wasn't anything else we could do. No point trailing that path any longer when we'd already done it and found nothing. No point in knocking doors at this time in the evening because most of the neighbours wouldn't answer their door during the after dinner soaps.

And I didn't want to leave it too long. If something really was wrong then we needed the police to start looking for him sooner rather than later. If something really was wrong, if something was beginning all over again, then I wanted to be by Sukis side and I wanted Pepper to know I was there for her, needed her to know she wasn't going to relive that peril alone.

"Jesus christ," he groaned seconds later, running his hand through his messy hair, "fuck sake man he shoulda just stayed at mine.." but I couldn't let him think like that.

It was how my dad had thought about the night my mam went missing for years now. How my brother had always thought of it too.

She'd been on her way to pick Jimmy up from a football match down at the playing fields which backed onto the woods. Only she'd gotten confused, or my dad had gotten confused, because Jimmy had been going to his pals house for tea and hadn't needed picking up at all, and somewhere within that miscommunication our mam had been left alone in the dusky summer evening, smoking a cigarette at the edge of the woods. And they said that that was probably when Peppers dad had bumped into her. That everything had probably seemed fine to her at first, that he'd probably lured her away from the car, into the forest under false pretences. That by the time she understood what was really happening, what he really wanted, she'd have been out of earshot of anyone. And of course we wouldn't have realised anything was wrong until much later that evening, when she didn't show at Jimmys pal's house to pick him up and take him home.

There were so many angles to view it from that meant you could blame yourself, or blame some trivial detail which really, probably wouldn't have made a big difference. If dad had been on the ball he could have realised she didn't need to go for Jimmy before she'd even left the house. If Jimmy had reminded her before he'd gone to school that morning. And even me, perhaps if I hadn't been such a pain in the arse, always asking questions or needing constant attention... Perhaps then she wouldn't have been distracted, she would have taken it in and remembered later that Jimmy didn't need picking up. That there was no reason to head down to the football pitches that evening.

And if she hadn't gone what then? Perhaps she'd still be with us. Perhaps someone elses mum would have fallen victim to those woods instead. Could I honestly say I wouldn't have traded my mum for someone elses, could I really say that if I was given the choice, I wouldn't choose to kill someone elses mam and keep mine safe and alive and mine.

No. And neither could anyone else if they were being honest.

Even so, it was better not to dwell on things you could have but didn't do and so when Van groaned and tapped his cigarette nervously I had to cut him off and nip his melancholic self loathing in the bud.

"Its just a fuckin walk home Van, should be safe, anyone should be able to do it blind like... Shouldn't make any difference to his life whether he stops at yours a night or walks home alone half cut. Its just a road..."

"Aye,"said Van with dark eyes and a gloomy set smirk, "Ain't just a road though is it..."

And I knew he was right. It wasn't just a road and our little town where the forest met the coast, would never be just some other little town ever again. This was a place terrible things happened, a haunted place. And as I felt a familiar knowing shadow take over inside me, I felt the shudder of dread grip me as I thought about the woodlands we were about to go poking around in. Woodlands I was sure were never supposed to be disturbed.

"Cmon no point being morbid about it, may as well get it over with for fuck sake," said Benji. He'd been chain smoking the same as the rest of us but now he let his fall from his hand, grinding it into the ground beneath his trainer, leaving a print in the sand for someone else to find later if we didn't make it home.

So we picked up the pace, ducking back over the dunes into the woodlands we'd played in as kids until we couldn't anymore. They'd stopped feeling like a playground after everything that went down. After the police dogs, the white suits, the blue lights and sirens, the long days which dragged into even more painful nights, the cups of tea the neighbors made for my dad which were left untouched and curdling wherever they'd been set down.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and fell into step with Van. The floor beneath our feet was soft with pine needles, our trainers sinking deceptively into the top layer as we walked quickly, trying not to walk too quickly through the ever thickening trees.

"Larry!" shouted Van, his voice echoing and then swallowed whole, snuffed out by the evergreens.

He only shouted once or twice, his voice barely carrying, bouncing back to us so quickly that it was difficult to believe the forest stretched out for as far as it did. But we were at the foot of the long slope, the vast expanse of Ash, Pine and Oak which grew all up the hillside through the valley and didn't thin out until it met the old slag heaps miles out of town.

"Keep an eye out for..." I started trailing off because I didn't know what to say. "Well, anythin really..." I hadn't been paying enough attention to Larry the night before, too caught up, distracted by Suki. When I thought about it I couldnt have described any of my friends appearances from the night before because I hadn't really been paying attention to anyone else. Only Suki. And I felt guilty because even upon realising that fact it was her my mind remained revolving around.

I couldn't help myself, wondering what she'd be doing back at Van's, her and Pepper and Mia, perhaps they'd have been playing their video games earlier but now that it was dark and we were still out without them, they'd probably be getting nervous, probably find themselves unable to focus on a zombie game or a shit 80s horror. They'd probably be sitting in that awkward quiet, tension thick between them as they tried not to do anything that would make them look nervous. No one ever wanted to be the first to admit they were scared.

"Fuckin poirot over here..." smirked Benji cracking just enough of a smile to meet his eyes.

"Shit man this is fuckin pointless these woods are huge, even if we split up we ain't gonna cover it all by nightfall..."

"We ain't splittin up," I said quickly, quietly, my eyes meeting Van's through the ever darkening evening, "an its already night..." I shrugged, "so I don't know what you wanna do but if we go back now we have to go straight to his mam... She's gonna have to phone the police..."

"He might be back by the time we get back," shrugged Benji but we all knew it wasn't true. If he'd come back one of the girls would have phoned. We wouldn't still be out there looking for him. We wouldn't all feel so doomed.

"Maybe we should split..." said Van again, "just for a bit, have a wander round, cover more..."

"Fuckin no chance," I said shaking my head, a disbelieving grin cracked crooked as I shoved him playfully, "mr "I've seen every horror movie" and you actually want us to split up..."

"Aye mate am not so sure its a..." started Benji, his thought cut short by a wailing sound tearing through the trees.

The sound seemed to carry over our heads, like a fast moving cloud. Its echo lingering in the mist rolling in from the sea. I looked down to my shoes in the pine and saw the familiar grey vapour curling around my ankles and I didn't like the strange sensation it left on my skin.

For a second we all stood still, silent, looking at our feet, looking up at the thick dark green shadow of pine needles and leaves above our heads. The canopy blocked the evening light but we could all tell there wasn't much light left to be seen.

"Fuck was that?" asked Benji with a nervous twitching smile, "sounded like me demented nan..."

"Probably owls," I said with a shrug not wanting to admit how haunted that terrible keening had really made me feel. It had sounded so eerily familiar to me. A sound drifted in from childhood, the kind your mind forces you to forget until you hear it again.

"Maybe it was a ghost..." Van said with a small smirk, ironic and then suddenly wincing apologetic and embarassed by himself. "Sorry lad," he said quickly, taking out a cigarette trying to save himself, "sorry fuck I didn't..."

"Everyone thinks the woods are haunted," I shrugged swallowing a lump in my throat as my shoulders and jaw tensed tight, "theyve always thought that an all, not just since... You know..."

"Aye," said Van, "am still sorry though..."

And people always were and always would be. Sorry. Always awkward and apologetic. Those kinds of smiles were ones familiar to me after all this time.

"Cmon man," I said with a shudder, "we'll walk back into town, if he's somewhere in here the police will find him quicker than we can..."

"Aye but they won't go lookin tonight," he said, "always wait too long don't they..." he said, his eyes darker still as we all walked in step, each of us glancing over our shoulders every now and then, each of us checking for god knows what doing god knows what in our periphery.

"Yeah well," I said forcing a smile for his benefit, for mine too, "might not be waiting for anythin at all eh, blakes might be right... Maybe he's already home..."

But we weren't stupid and any lies we told to make eachother feel better... We all knew them to be just that. Lies.

The quickest way home however was unfortunately through the trees. It was quicker to head a little deeper into the woods and then veer for the football fields than it was to double back on ourselves and head back down the coast. Besides, there was little point treading familiar ground when were trying to think hopefully.

If we headed towards the footie pitch and the school we would perhaps stumble upon Larry unsuspectingly. I was hoping that my instincts were wrong but I'd always trusted myself more than I trusted anyone else and I knew that in this instance just like every other instance, I was probably right.

We probably weren't going to find Larry that night.

Knowing that fact only made the woods seem closer still. I felt every shudder in the pines like breath on my skin. Every twitch or snap in the trees drew my eyes searching for its cause. I kept trying to block it out, kept trying to tell myself to keep walking and looking straight ahead but it wasn't working to make me feel any less on edge. I wanted to be home with the girls, skip the fucking awful walk home and just be crushed up on Vans settee with Suki tucked under my arm and little Titch where I could see her. Needed everyone I cared about to be close to me. Knowing that it wasn't possible now left me feeling that familiar but ever strange seperation from myself. That hollow feeling in my bones that made me feel like my fingers weren't my own. Made me feel like I'd borrowed someone elses body for the day and I couldn't quite get a grip on the controls.

"Shit..." breathed Van suddenly stopping in his tracks so that I tripped over and into the back of him and Blakes had to stumble to stop himself crashing too.

"Shit..." I said quietly following his gaze. Just a little way in front of us was a car wreck... The bonnet crumpled into the trunk of a conifer. The glass in the pine needles hardly caught the light, it had been there so long it had been weathered by the rain, the dirt had set in and dulled it, muddied it. Only the largest plates remained.

"I thought they cleaned everythin up..." started Blakes trailing off because the answer to whatever question he'd been about to ask was right there in front of us, abandoned and battered, windows shattered, rusty skeleton chewed up. Left to the pines and the woods for them to do with whatever they liked.

"Yeah," I said, my mouth dry, my fingers searching my pocket for my light, "you'd have thought they would..." I said, fingers closing around pine needles and dirt in the pit of my pockets. No cigarettes to comfort me.

"It is..."

"Yeah," I said silencing Van before he could ask the obvious, a question we all already knew the answer to, "thats Titch's dads car," I said glancing over my shoulder. Checking my periphery. The painful sensation of being watched, skin prickling all over as I fixed my eyes on the car. That hollow feeling was rising, spreading through my body slowly so that I couldn't shake the feeling that I was leaving myself behind.

He'd crashed the car, he'd murdered Titch's mam and then he'd murdered mine too... It was the story everyone knew, and here was the evidence, here was the crashed car. Here was the broken glass. The rusting frame. The pine needles and pieces of bark he'd displaced. Like some museum exhibit.

Only Blakes was right. They had cleared the site. There'd been such a fuss in the local paper about it because some of us had wanted it cleared, some of us had wanted the scene disposed of, and others, those who believed Titchs father to be innocent, had wanted the crime scene preserved. So that it could be studied over and over, scrutinised for any new evidence. Anything that would prove something. Because it was one of those cases. The kind where everyone, no matter who's side theyre on, find themselves rooting for the same thing. When answers are in sshort supply people start to care less about the answers theyre going to get...

"Cmon we need to leave," I said struggled to swallow around the dry scratch in my throat... "An lets not tell titch about this yeah...actually lets not tell any of the girls about it eh?"

"Yeah," said Van nodding solemnly, "right blakes?"

"Right..."

But that would be our first mistake.