#IVE WAITED FOR SO LONGGGGG....

[monstertidbits]

カブルー / Kabru

[infizero]

DEVICE THEORY PART 3 IN 9 DAYS AND ITS SIX HOURS LONG

[abyssmalice]

(same vibes as tonitoni when asked about her harbinger paperwork while shes in the middle of playing pranks on people like: )

[spacelouis]

ahhhhh i'm actually here!!!!!

[yutadori]

it's always so jarring to have a really intense crush that ends so abruptly... like . one day you find yourself thinking about them for the eightieth time that day and then you suddenly no longer feel anything towards them

[hazardsoflove]

saw spoilers for jjk267 we are so fucking back you guys

[vulnerasti-cor-meum]

longgggg vent post. I'm sorry. Im just feeling maddened lately. at best I probably sound like a petulant teenager.

my mom's making a huge fuss abt my bday weekend. she was proposing we go out to eat for next few days. That's absurd. it's absurd and unthinkable bc I have actively been skipping sit-down dinners with her, because I am on a self-campaign to minimize time with her. I hate dinner. I have nothing to say. she stares at me when we're eating.I am hungry every evening. And I have no appetite in the morning. and I have nightmares about her. about screaming at her and about her being my enemy. and my poor progenitress is at home all the live-long day (listening to YT preachers all day) because Im the one using the car for work, so who knows what that does to her. she hardly eats, herself, and even less now that there's no excuse for dining with me. I said that we can eat out ONCE, at texas roadhouse, which In my brain I consider to be too tacky because Im trying to develop good taste, but in my heart, who tf am I kidding. last therapist told me that if I want my mom to respect me as a man and not a child, I need to show her Im a man and not a child, but my resentment is such that I dont want to show her any part of myself at all, All Ive ever felt is rejection from her. on every axis and dimension. and now she's divorced and jobless and isolated from broader culture and Im her early retirement fund until some day in the long and unhappy future.

and now I have a lover whom Ive been seeing for seven months, we've been intimate, we go on dates, he buys me tix to the cinema and we hold hands for two hours and he's told me he adores me and is crazy about me, and I dont think I believed him even though I think he may have been wooing me (how seriously though?). Even though I said IDK if I could see us being anything more than occasional lovers, he still continued to see me afterward. And now I'm crazed for him my body ails for him my stomach is in knots and my brain is abuzz. I canceled a date two weeks ago with him because I was sick. He said he'd wait for me. When I texted him five days later that I was better (four days of silence), turns out he had left on a postponed roadtrip. (he didnt tell me. was he still waiting for me? why didnt he tell me? was I entitled to know? Of course not.) He leaves back for town today: He said he'd keep me posted (more specifically on some property he was contemplating buying at the trip-destination). I told him Id like to see him again soon. he heart-reacted. There's no reason to expect I wont see him again unless it's due to the inherent unstable bond between uncommitted chemical bodies. I dont know how long to wait till I ask him to see me again. I dont want to be a creep. I dont want to seem creepily desperate but I need him to know I want him so badly (or even at all! even if just for an evening!) and that yes I do want to work out something even one degree of magnitude "more" than what we are.I want to give of myself more generously. I want to be his possession.He doesnt reject me in that he's told me Im perfect even if my rship with my mom keeps me from giving myself more to him. I dont know if his kissyface emotes mean anything. I keep analyzing seven months' of texts like a statistician or a conspiracy theorist.

I want a new job but Ive only been here a year and can barely handle the work for which Ive been employed and which even is the only kind of work that accords with my resume. Clients depress me and get me down (senior citizens; fixed incomes; living in slums. I always fear that Im looking into a mirror of my own future). my colleagues are the sweetest persons in the world and my hours are so forgiving, so I know I should be grateful, but it's so hard so so hard.

I've been telling myself lately that God has meted out a long and unhappy life for me and that I know this in my heart, but who knows how much this is truth and how much this is slanderous against God

[youknowhowido]

can i ask about your adamjohn wips 👉👈

HI YES my three main ones are below ^-^

first one is picture perfect point-of-view in which adam is a country music star who is an overnight sensation and john is a somewhat burnt out photojournalist who just happens to become his tour photographer (and then his full time photographer.) lots of miscommunication, lots of comfort, it’s my main wip and i’m averaging abt 5k words per chapter at the moment ! shaun and mark also play roles along with implied hayley williams and implied chris carrabba because my brain works in silly ways ^—^

major tags: au-photography, idiots in love, miscommunication, The Horrors Of Stan Twitter (tm)

second one has no name yet (the google doc is just titled DIVORCEES), but it’s a kidfic in which adam and john were married, adopted their daughter portia (god i love her so much btw. creating her character and watching her develop in my head has been so fucking AWESOME shes my fav character ive ever written i think) who was 4 years old at the time and then got divorced six years later because adam Sucks at processing emotions and john was set on trying to “fix him”. adam “fixes” himself (goes to therapy and decides to prioritize his child) and then story starts two years after divorce when a twelve-year-old portia gets both of her dads to chaperone a multiple-night school trip without the other knowing. based on new american classic!

this ones gonna be LONGGGGG like prob 10-15k? im getting bare bones down rn, i’ve been working on this one the most this weekend when i havent been HELLA busy

major tags: au-divorce, kidfic, one bed, getting back together, hurt/comfort, background mark/shaun

third ALSO has no name and its very rough but its just adam and john situationship. adam will never stop loving john no matter how many times he snuffs him or uses him or makes his love conditional because he blames himself every time john is awful to him. basically adam gets so hurt in this one IM SORRYYYY. johns also kind of an asshole? only a little. he just dgaf. this one is very bpdcore on adams part sorry im projecting. this one is mostly based on all the songs i listened to when i went through the same thing, which i will put here so you can get an idea.

forget her — jeff buckley

andria — la dispute

waiting room — phoebe bridgers

unloveable - the smiths

silver springs live at warner brothers studios — fleetwood mac

high and dry — radiohead

just a lover — hayley williams

sour breath — julien baker

and then, obviously,

the ballad of sal villanueva and cute without the e - taking back sunday

THIS THIRD ONE IS VERY NEW AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE its mostly just me projecting onto adam sorry buddy! i hope my brain lets him have a happy ending

major tags: ambiguous relationships, hurt no comfort, drug abuse

SO ANYWAYS yes hope u enjoy i like talking about these guys im currently rotating them inside my head.

[averagemafuyukinnie]

I REMEMVED WHEN MAFU5 DROPPED AND WE FOUND OUT THAT MIZUKI 5 WPULD BE NEXT WAS GOING CRAXY BIT I STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS HAPPENINF LIKE AAAAVA OYSGUGPSPVUVOUWUGPHUPD

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONGGGGG THIS IS CRAZY SKENDJSHJSHFHSJAHSJDJCHSHDHHCGDGSVFJVYHDHTHUHRHGH

[marcelinestreehouse]

NEW KING GIZZARD ALBUM IN LIKE AN HOUR AHHHHHHH

CHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONGGGGG AHHH

[strangerhands]

girl what the hell..... the way i just wham bam slam pumped out some fuckin angst from my brain out of nowhere..... i literally ate that shit up.... like wait.... im so big and sexy brained... literally... like yes... okay.

but its also for a character that probably none of yall know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but like. if yall did. i think youd love him... but maybe not the media hes from😭💀 (validly.) im just. i am in love with him. i am in need of him. i am craving him. carnally. i wont him so bad... pls.

hes "the nahualli" from saints row (2022) and im gonna be fuckin honest I HAVENT EVEN PLAYED THE FUCKING GAME YET😭😭😭😭😭 or even watched a full playthrough😭😭😭😭 because ive been purposefully avoiding doing so when i decided that i do want to play it for myself (even tho ik its ass) but like i do very vaguely know a bit about the ending regarding him sadly and it is also sad but i have avoided seeing anything more of it because i want to experience it for myself yk. but man. i need that man. AND I WILL HAVE HIM SOON BECAUSE IM (hopefully.) GETTING THE GAME THIS WEEK. AND I WILL REGRESS AND NEVER LEAVE MY BEDROOM (nothing new) AND DEDICATE THIS MONTH TO BRAINROT FOR HIM.

anyways... ive missed gaming so much... i cant believe ive gone sooo fuckinn longgggg with barelyyyyyyyyyyyy doing it at alllllllll like what the fuckkkkkk who ammm iiiiiiiiii. but yea anyways. fuck productivity, (as if i ever practiced that anways) shitty videogame is my new friend

ok but like actually tho the idea i just came up with and wrote a bit for is like. Soo yum In My Humble Opinion. whenever i do eventually finish it ill probably upload it to here and ao3 as well because like tbh the community for this man is criminally small and pretty dead sadly.

anyways x80!! i am happy and proud of myself for the bit i just wrote and i am so excited to play the game and hopefully write out more for that ideaaa. i hope yall are doing beautifully i am going to go back to reading about the man in question! goodnight! i love and miss yall! <333😚😚😚

[manchesterau]

I notice you don’t post about Harry or Louis anymore, are you still a Larrie/fan of them?

I will always love 1d but it’s not fun anymore and it hasnt been fun for me in a longgggg time and I noticed during the last album/tour cycle for the both of them that maybe my time was coming to a close and id rather just fully move on than spend my time on here bored and waiting around for them to do something exciting and i just cant bring myself to care anymore about what they do

I also feel like the 1d/larrie side on here is like slowly dying but maybe that’s just me idk (but maybe that’s just bc ive been here since 2012 and like…nothing will ever be like when they were active/first went solo)

and honestly im having a lot more fun being a fan of dnp than I have in a whilleee like I actually like tumblr fjjfjfjd and I was so close to fully leaving and just moving on but thank GODDD dapg came back 😭😭 this blog is my baby and it made me sad thinking about leaving but of course fandom will always drag me back

[obitv]

BROOOO FUCK THE DAMN CUMPIRE IDC ABOUT HIS ASS!!!! IVE WAITED FOR SO LONGGGGG

[yumtooki]

LMAO IT REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT, I FEEL YOU

I'M EXCITED FOR HER TO OFFICIALLY RELEASE GLUE SONG TBH, SO READY TO STREAM IT ENDLESSLY

- beabadoobee lover :)

LORD IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE GLUE SONG TO BE RELEASED FOR SO LONGGGGG

IM SO READY TO STREAM UT, IM PREDICTING TOP SONG FOR MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED

[kitkatkageyama]

soon....wahhchan

[williamsherondales]

You can put your hand in my back pocket. Hand in your back pocket? What the hell is that? Sixteen Candles? It's the opening image. It's a couples thing. Yeah, maybe in the 70's.