#ITS SO FUN last night we were working on a really kinda dumb chart and ended up figuring out what Breaks the designated villain

[pyrriax]

LORD i need to talk about Terra (worldbuilding project i've been working on with data) i know i've made a few posts but we've kind of been fleshing out the timeline and general logic... i know it's planning to make a visual novel so i'm probably gonna be helping with that but i might work on some kind of proper art for the general project

[ace-t-fic]

This a Peter si fic I started (its purely 'feel good' no eye roll moments) but never found out what I wanted to do with it. This hasn't been grammar checked ethier.

The yearly trip to science industries (after the fiasco concerning OC labs) was heavily guarded by the gpa efficiency minimum and it was usually 123 Seniors at Midtown high each year. That only left less than 30 who had the gpa needed in order to attend the field trip. But with detentions and tardies that often brought it down to 25 added in with the people who actually turned in their permission slips drop that number down to a solid 13. That usually  meant the whole decathlon team, one jock, the Sat acres and people with tiger parents. 

So when the paper was only passed to Peter and Flash in their homeroom he wasn’t surprised who qualified for the field trip. 

Last year's field trip the students all got to go to Tesla and returned the day after. Liz said it was a fun experience and even one of the kids was later offered an internship available to him after their graduation. Liz herself wasn’t all that interested in the company herself but she said the experience was an enjoyable one. So Peter would have been lying if he said he wasn’t practically buzzed for when his senior year trip came. 

He wondered if they would be able to tour the new labs Wakanda had set up. He wanted to go for a while but their outside personnel was strictly limited to certified personnel and those with names that ended with Stark or Banner or Avengers. But the name staring back at him was just laughing at him, “congratulations, you have qualified for this year's exclusive Senior trip to SI inc.” an all paid expense to visit his work. Now instead of taking the City bus he could just catch a ride on a big ugly yellow one. 

Not that this was a let down it was still an amazing opportunity many would kill for. He thought gazing behind him to stare at Flash who fist bumped the air. The attention caught his attention and he made brief eye contact with Peter with a smug little smile on his face. Peter only flashed back his before the flash rolled his eyes and no longer paid him attention. 

Flash still didn’t partially believe Peter's internship-neither did anyone else really- but flash was the most put out about it. He would be lying if he says he wasn’t rooting for Peter the night of his junior year party. He even helped Diana, the maid clean and dust just in case Spiderman really did show up. And when he didn’t show up he told Peter exactly how he felt about it with a new string of nicknames. Added on to the occasional passive agressive shoulder shove but nothing more or less beyond that. Sure he was a dick but he wasn’t a good fighter, just richer than Parker he was beating him in the fight of life. 

Peter only rolled his eyes back, shoving the paper into the back of his class notebook. 

The minutes ticked by steadily as Peter waited to meet Ned at his locker. He’s almost deadly positive Ned received one too and is waiting to shake the life out of his shoulders. Peter may work at Si but Ned’s never been and the experience in itself is quite entertaining. Things are always different when best friends are involved. 

“Anyone who received a field trip paper will have to have it signed and returned to me, the office, or Mrs. Meyers up to five days before the date of the field trip. Other than that we will continue on with the stock market Tomorrow!” The teacher screamed over the rustling papers and scraping chairs as he let them out a minute early, if you ask anyone on campus that made him the cool teacher.

Petter grabbed his folders, having lost another backpack he was sure laid webbed to the building and exited the room. He easily made it to his locker before Ned did and even got to close it before he was approached

. 

“Dude you can show me your lab.” he whispered to peter. 

“Actually I can’t, my lab is Tony’s and that's only because Bucky has been keeping him away from the lab.” Peter announced before he got his hopes up. “We’re probably gonna tour below mid level, I don't think they allow anyone without a permanent badge into any of the labs.” 

“Do we get to meet any of the avengers?” 

“Probably Bruce, he’s usually chilling with all the other scientists. It’ll be cool though you know i haven’t actually met him? The dude has to be dumb smart, you know Tony scraps ideas if he can’t get Bruce to sign off on them.” Peter gushes, before an arm is roughly swung around his shoulder. “Ow-no.”

Flashes pffts, “give me a break i hate this as much as you but apparently since I’m friends with idiots i have to slum it with you and- I’m sorry what's your-”

“Ned”

“Yeah Ned, that sounds familiar for the trip. I asked more about it and this might be a good time to turn in our submissions for the upcoming Intern conference. We get in ahead and we can probably impress him enough for our stuff to actually be looked at. Peter, I know your tech smart, I do numbers and possibilities and Ned we’ve been in coding since middle school together so we can definitely do that.” Flash rambles.

“What are you talking about?”

“We’ve been coding together for 6 years and you just barely remembered my name?”

“What I’m talking about-Peter is welcome to the winning team. Listen your smart parker you may or may not have an internship although its kinda sketchy that out of nowhere you a loser 17 year old defies all social laws and pops on the popularity chart” Understandable he still cursed Ned for saying anything right before he asked Mary jane to prom god that was embarrassing. 

You know that fancy stuff doesn’t bother me Peter. If I wanted to solely date you for your internship I’d hope someone would’ve knocked sense into you to get over me. 

“But I honestly feel as if we wow at least one impressionable person. They'll seek us an audience with Stark before the rest of the crowd.”  Flash continues. 

“You know that honestly doesn’t sound bad?” Ned finishes unsure over the look of alarm on Peter's face. Because yeah it’s not a bad idea and that expo meant the world to the real science losers around the GLOBE. And Ned really did want to be involved beyond the guy in the chair way before Peter turned into Spiderman. Peter would probably still be hands deep in his theories if he hadn’t gotten bit by some escaped lab spider. This expo at one point in his life -sophomore year- was the only thing that was gonna get Aunt May out of the nearly slumps. 

And flash…. Well he’s just a fucking nerd to put it lightly he was just rich, and since he was rich and gushes this much about being a intern of all things meant he might’ve been worse then both Peter and Ned when they first envisioned running coffee for Tony stark. 

Plus it would be kinda unfair to see if he could pull strings for Ned instead of proving that he was capable of it far more on his own. “Fiiiinn-”

“Whoop! You might actually not be so bad penis.” and with a clap on his shoulder disappearing with the ringing of the bell. 

Peter clenched his jaw shooting a ‘why’ look at Ned, “Oh don’t give me that look, you think I want to work with him. He has money and resources and he is good at real numbers not technical of coding, look you're an spaceship mechanic, he does the landing the thrust or whatever they do and I’m the guy who counts down which is honestly better then both of those jobs-” 

“Please Ned you're embarrassing me '' Peter laughed as he and Ned made their way through the day. 2 months until the field trip that was more than enough time for three geniuses to at least come up with a concept and a prototype for something cool. 

Scrap that they’re screwed. 

“I almost died.” Ned said, sitting in a shock of foam. “You guys just sat there, you were gonna watch me die.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Ned reared back at Flash's comment, “Dramatic! I just went up in flames!” 

“Hey, it was your boy Peter who made it. Plus maybe if he didn’t bail early last  Monday we could’ve caught that our numbers weren’t matching up with his” Maybe if some assholes weren't trying to rob F.E.A.S.T after their charity event he wouldn’t have had too. 

“I told you things happen Flash, I do in fact have a life.”

“MJ tell you that”

“-oo burn”

“Ned!- ok listen in order for this hoverboard to work we have to make sure everything is matched up. It shouldn’t have done that so something else must’ve gone wrong too.” Peter explained grabbing the notebooks and tossing them on the Flashes workbench. Hoverboard and back to future stickers on the covers.

“Might be the fact that it isn’t Hovering. But that's just me.”

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1964

Under the cut.

Bobby Vinton – “There! I’ve Said It Again” -- January 4, 1964

*sob* This song is so bad. Is there even a beat at all? It's so slow. It should not be so slow. Vinton sounds both self-satisfied and whiny. It's a love song, I suppose, but this doesn't sound anything like love to me. It sounds like it was created by the Moral Majority. Help, I need someone.

The Beatles – “I Want To Hold Your Hand” -- February 1, 1964

Yeah, I did that on purpose. It's fashionable to hate on The Beatles these days, but I will not be joining in. "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" is not one of their best songs, but if I'd been there at the time, I'd have been screaming my head off for them too. After going through the past couple years of hits, I feel ready to scream for them now. There's a beat. There's forward motion. There's understanding how to sing a song. That wasn't totally lacking on the charts until them -- Ray Charles, after all, and some others -- but what a wasteland it's been generally. The bad stuff has been so very, very bad. Anyway. "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" -- okay song today, but pure oxygen in 1964.

The Beatles – “She Loves You” -- March 21, 1964

This is one of my favorite songs. "Hey idiot, this great girl you thought you lost due to your idiocy still loves you." Implied: Either you go on her knees to get her back or I go after her. And it doesn't sound anything like any #1 I've covered so far. Major interesting bassline, great harmonies, good drums, guitar, everything lines up perfectly.

The Beatles – “Can’t Buy Me Love” -- April 4, 1964

What else is there to say at this point? It's good. It's true. It's romantic. It's fast. McCartney knows how to sing. Notice that none of these three hits in a row are heartbreak songs? There have been way too many of those on this list, and most of them were bad. These songs are happy, and not fake happy. They're driven. They're alive.

Louis Armstrong – “Hello, Dolly!” -- May 9, 1964

The person to finally kick The Beatles down the charts was one of our greatest homegrown artists. It's like people had finally woken up after Bobby Vinton's horrible song in January. Not Louis Armstrong's best, but it's Louis Armstrong. So it's thoroughly enjoyable.

Mary Wells – “My Guy” -- May 16, 1964

Motown is well and truly here. I adore this song. It's sweet without being cloying, the beat is fun, and of course Mary Wells is amazing. And as a woman whose taste in men has never matched up with what I'm supposed to find attractive, and has taken a lot of crap for that, I connect with the song personally.

The Beatles – “Love Me Do” -- May 30, 1964

I think this is the worst of the Beatles' hits so far. Which doesn't make it bad. The harmonica's great. But the lyrics are kinda, well, dumb. Thankfully they're dumb and cheery, not dumb and doleful like so much I've covered.

The Dixie Cups – “Chapel Of Love” -- June 6, 1964

Earworm alert. That hook is a killer. The song gets at the overwhelmed, slightly stunned happiness that comes from getting married. We went to city hall, not to the chapel, but the feeling's the same. I can't say whether I like the song exactly -- the hook is so overpowering, it doesn't really give you a chance. It's in your head now, forever.

Peter & Gordon – “A World Without Love” -- June 27, 1964

The narrator doesn't have a girlfriend so he's going to hide in his room until his true love shows up. Or maybe he was dumped by his true love and therefore is going to hide? It's not very clear, which is unusual for a song written by Paul McCartney. But there's a reason he gave it to someone else. It's actually a fine song, good harmonies, good beat, very teenage sensibility without being annoying. Not too special after the last six songs though.

The Beach Boys – “I Get Around” -- July 4, 1964

I can never hear this without picturing the 1986 film Flight of the Navigator. As usual with Beach Boys songs, the music is excellent and the lyrics are deeply dumb and repetitive. So it's a fun song, but not one I go out of my way to listen to.

The Four Seasons – “Rag Doll” -- July 18, 1964

Gah Frankie Valli's falsetto again. Also it's overproduced. This guy loves a poor girl but his father says nope, she's a poor so you can't marry her, and he just accepts it. I really don't like anything about The Four Seasons.

The Beatles – “A Hard Day’s Night” -- August 1, 1964

My mom and I once rented the movie A Hard Day's Night, and were surprised at how fun it was. (She was a little young to experience the full force of Beatlemania when it hit.) The song written for the movie: Also very fun, and good, and sexy. "But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do will make me feel all right." Things sure changed fast in 1964.

Dean Martin – “Everybody Loves Somebody” -- August 15, 1964

Dean Martin was constitutionally incapable of being serious. Sometimes his smarm worked. Not here. It could be worse, but it could be a lot better. I'd have been much happier if it had been just about anyone else's version, though Peggy Lee's is my favorite.

The Supremes – “Where Did Our Love Go” -- August 22, 1964

Have you noticed how good pop music suddenly got? It's not just The Beatles. This is a heartbreak song without a hint of schmaltz. It makes you feel better, not worse, and you can even dance to it. But it's still sad. Motown was amazing in its heyday.

The Animals – “The House Of The Rising Sun” -- September 5, 1964

I've loved this song since I was a kid. And I understood it; "gambling causes ruin" is perfectly comprehensible to an 8-year old. It's dark and real, and Eric Burdon's voice and singing give me chills. The keyboard is like nothing I've heard on this list before. I think this might be goth. It's something great, anyway.

Roy Orbison – “Oh, Pretty Woman” -- September 26, 1964

I hate the movie Pretty Woman. A lot. This song became a hit again when the movie came out. Obviously I associate this song with that movie. So I don't have an opinion about the song that's separate from a movie I hate and that Roy Orbison had nothing to do with. I'm passing on this one.

Manfred Mann – “Do Wah Diddy Diddy” -- October 17, 1964

Two number ones in a row about a pretty woman walking down the street. They sort of sound similar in parts too. Anyway, pretty woman walking down the street singing nonsense, narrator ends up making out with and then getting engaged to her. It's silly, and it's okay. "Okay" has a much higher bar than it did just last year.

The Supremes – “Baby Love” -- October 31, 1964

I have a problem with The Supremes, and it's that their first four #1 hits have exactly the same subject matter, and that subject matter is being in love with a man who no longer loves them. After this list, I'm sick of heartbreak songs, and they were never my favorite anyway. Four love songs in a row and I'd have been happy. Dance songs, ditto. But if we must have heartbreak songs, can we have a little righteous anger too? Not just plaintiveness? Anyway, "Baby Love" is a Supremes song, which means if you hear it far apart from their other songs, it's great. When I hear them together like this, though, the formula gets painful.

The Shangri-Las – “Leader Of The Pack” -- November 28, 1964

I hope this song was meant to be funny, because I find it goddamn hilarious. How'd she meet a bad boy whom she knew was sad at the candy store? I like the message that you shouldn't dump your boyfriend solely because your daddy tells you to. But I don't think there's any intended message here. I think it might be a song making fun of the 50s motorcycle bad boy aesthetic and all those "girlfriend/boyfriend died" schmaltzfests people suffered through.

Lorne Greene – “Ringo” -- December 5, 1964

A baritone spoken word piece about a Western outlaw. I doubt it would have gone anywhere if Ringo Starr hadn't been named Ringo. It's probably good for its genre, since Lorne Greene was a good actor, but I can't tell.

The Supremes – “Come See About Me” -- December 19, 1964

It doesn't sound like a heartbreak song, but of course it is. And a super severe one; she gave up all her friends for him, and then he left her too. But she still wants him back. Eesh. Of course Diana Ross doesn't sound sad singing it, because she never sounds really sad singing these songs. The technique obviously worked, but the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It's a really good song. And not for me, now that I've actually thought this much about it.

The Beatles – “I Feel Fine” -- December 26, 1964

A sitar has been spotted! Anyway, he and his baby are in love, and he brags about buying her diamond rings. The Beatles never had any shame about buying the women in their songs stuff to make them happy. I like that. And I like this song.

BEST OF 1964: "My Guy". Yep, not a Beatles song. This is thoroughly subjective, after all. But what a lot of great songs there were this year, and how relieved I am to be able to say that. WORST OF 1964: "There! I've Said It Again", overwhelmingly.

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2012

We’ve now entered the first year in a trio of fantastic years for hit songs, so yeah, it’s a top 12.

You won’t like some entries on this particular list.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Still working in Paris in 2012. Getting rapidly fed up with that. In constant stress to pay the rent because the landlord is bad and refuses to pay for stuff he should actually be responsible for in the flat. Other than that? Life was pretty good. “Having Money(tm)” meant being able to actually eat decent food and my health started to improve. Also I adopted a cat. That’s also the year I discovered the French branch of the SCP Foundation and started to contribute a lot to it. I also made this Tumblr blog!

I subscribed to a magazine called Elegy which always came with a music sample, which was great to discover new and vaguely obscure stuff.

Quite a lot of notable albums that year: Some Nights by fun., Night Visions by Imagine Dragons, Monkey Me by Mylène Farmer, Living Things by Linkin Park (with poorly chosen singles unfortunately imho), Revelations by mind.in.a.box., Babel by Mumford & Sons, Neverworld’s End by Xandria, and most importantly, the dreamy and emotional Valtari by Sigur Ros and the dark and excellent Hide & Seek by The Birthday Massacre (even though my year was mostly ruled by Automatic (VNV Nation) that came out the previous year in 2011). Actually having money meant I could finally own the albums I had wanted for years, and you can bet the fact that I owned zero The Birthday Massacre albums even though I had loved their stuff since 2008 was quickly rectified.

Nothing too annoying as far as non-elligible songs go this time, apart from the fact that more stuff from Mylo Xyloto (Coldplay) should have charted higher, and that I kinda regret the absence of La Vie Est Belle by MC Solaar. Not even sure I would have put it on the list, but still, great song.

Honorable mentions first!

Dusty Men (Saule) - Nothing to say about this. Pretty cool.

Young And Wild And Free (Snoop Dog) - That is a super chill and nice song.

Happy (C2C) - At the time, my brother was part-time DJ and opened a gig for these guys, and I was so proud of him! And I was also really glad to see some of their songs become hits. Very good stuff.

Midnight City (M82) - Borderline annoying or very good, depending on my mood.

Burn It Down (Linkin Park) - As I said, my opinion is that the singles from that album were poorly chosen, and Castle of Glass should have been the first one because let’s face it, that song is fantastic. Burn it Down isn’t bad at all, though.

Glad You Came (The Wanted) - I love how this song is written and it’s a lot of fun to hear every sentence starting with the end of the previous one.

I Cry (Flo Rida) - A ton of energy, very propulsive song.

Domino (Jessie J) - There’s a shit ton of weird metaphors in there but it’s still a very solid song.

Princess of China (Coldplay ft Rihanna) - I know I keep going on and on about Mylo Xyloto and how weird it was that the biggest hits from the album weren’t at all its best songs, but still, that’s really good stuff.

Ho Hey (The Lumineers) - The last cut from the list. This song is adorable and always puts me in a good mood. It’s so cute it almost feels mean to leave it out of this top. It’s also elligible for 2013 but I had even less room on that list, so...

And now, a top 12.

12 - Diamonds (Rihanna)

US: #94 / FR: #5

Was considering leaving it out of the list, decided there was no way I could leave it out, realised there was no room left, and added a slot. Welcome to a top 12 instead of 10. But yeah, love that song even if it’s no longer on my playlist nowadays.

11 - Bangarang (Skrillex)

US: Not on the list / FR: #92

Yes.

The other reason this list was turned into a top 12 was to put Skrillex on it.

I’m not even remotely sorry.

Make fun of dubstep all you like, that track is an explosion of sharp colors and edges, like an audio version of edgy street art. It’s almost impossible for me to listen to it without miming the shapes of the sound with energetic gestures and some hand-flapping. Perfect stim music.

10 - Die Young (Kesha)

US: #85 / FR: #78

This is no Take It Off but it’s the next best thing available, and it’s catchy and has a lot of fun little details (like the dirty socks line), and also, unlike the previous two, it’s still on my mp3 player, so yeah, 10th spot is fair. I love a party song with some sort of apocalyptic mindset.

9 - Skyfall (Adele)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I usually don’t give a damn about James Bond movies but I sincerely loved that one, with its stakes becoming smaller and smaller and more personal as the story progressed, and most importantly, it had some visually striking colors near the end, and this wonderful, wonderful song. As I already said about the previous Adele song, I only like slow, emotional songs when there’s some energy behind them or at least some sort of dramatic atmosphere, and boy that’s some quality Drama(tm) right there.

8 - A l’Ombre (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #86

If C’est Une Belle Journée was the “last great Mylène Farmer song”, A l’Ombre might just be her best single released post 2003, at least imho. It’s only #8 because the general quality of hit songs in 2012 was insanely high, otherwise it would be way higher.

It’s about losing your identity and as you might already know I’m a sucker for that theme ; also the music video features Olivier de Sagazan, an artist who puts layers of clay, paint and mud on his own head and body to sculpt new faces, and it’s disturbing in all the best ways (obvious body horror tw for the link even if it’s clay and very abstract. Also there’s wolves. I’m just saying because I have one friend who’s scared of them).

7 - Thrift Shop (Macklemore)

US: Not on the list (#1 the very next year obviously) / FR: #7

Finally, a song about my favorite type of clothes: the cheap, comfy, unfashionable ones. With a great beat! And really fun lyrics! And a great music video! And a couple of actually insightful lines! Can’t even imagine how happy I would have been if this had dropped 3 years earlier back in university when I was still called “the hobo”.

I was still wearing that same old black coat from 2006 in 2012, mind you.

6 - Lights (Ellie Goulding)

US: #5 / FR: Not on the list

This song looks fantastic and, just like Fireflies by Owl City which to me looks exactly like fireflies flying in the night, it’s incredibly satisfying to hear a song titled “Lights” which looks like a series of pulsing semi-distant lights in the dark.

5 - We Are Young (fun.)

US: #3 / FR: #21

As far as favorite bands go, the 2000s charts gave me Linkin Park, Placebo, The Killers and My Chemical Romance. The 2010s charts were a bit less generous and only gave me fun., who’s own arrogance killed them right when they were at the top of their game and that’s nothing short of a tragedy considering how f█cking good their few hit songs were.

I guess your band either dies a hero, or it lives long enough to see itself become Imagine Dragons.

Oh well. At least we had some of the best songs (if not the best) of the 2010s while they were there.

4 - Turn Me On (David Guetta ft Nicki Minaj)

US: #35 / FR: #57

Ooooooh I bet some of you are furious this is placed 5 slots above Adele.

Listen. You know I love dance music, especially when it’s aggressive or with a darker edge. And yeah, that sounded like a lost Benassi Bros track, and it had a great (but way too short) rap bridge. You also know how literal-minded I am. So when I first heard Nicki Minaj’s voice with a ton of electronic distorsion saying “Make me come alive, come on and turn me on”, I didn’t picture anything sexy, but a robot. I’d rather pretend songs are about interesting things instead of generic supposedly sexy club anthems.

PLOT TWIST! As it turns out, the music video, instead of featuring some generic club stuff, featured everything I wanted and more: a weird, steampunk world of robots in which an inventor just created an android that looks way more alive than all the previous ones, and they all become jealous, and break his door down. With an axe.

Framing is everything. I absolutely love it. What a gift.

3 - It’s Time (Imagine Dragons)

US: #91 / FR: Not on the list

Believe it or not, I used to love Imagine Dragons. I still love the album Night Visions, which, apart from a couple of duds (like Demons, which is dreadful), is damn good. I don’t know what happened after that. I really don’t. Everything became slow, and heavy, and kind of boring. It worked fine for Radioactive, because that was a post-apocalyptic song, but when you try to apply the same formula to motivational songs, it simply doesn’t work.

Oh well. At least, for now, there was It’s Time. The music video, with people walking through a wasteland, is the perfect imagery for that song. Rebuild something new, but don’t change who you are. Things might get broken, but we’ll make art with them. We’ll plant trees over the graves of people who burnt them. Positive pessimism only, lads.

2 - Good Time (Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen)

US: #38 / FR: #40

The most innocent song about parties ever written. It IS always a good time when you listen to it. It reminded me of the parties at the campus at my job training the previous year, where we’d make dumb contests like “best disguise but if you buy anything you’re disqualified” and I made Freddy Krueger claws in papercraft and a friend won with his “emperor Nero” disguise which was basically a toga made with his bed sheets, a crown made with ivy he found outside, and him looking incredibly punchable on purpose.

It’s an incredibly cute song, it never outstays its welcome, always puts me in a good mood AND gives me some much needed energy. You already know I loved Owl City to begin with, even if I wanted him to have way more hit songs, and Carly Rae Jepsen was going to end on my playlist eventually, with several fantastic future songs. I’m glad this was a hit. They both deserved it.

1 - Some Nights (fun.)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list (why. how. f█ck off)

There’s drums! There’s ‘woho-woho’s! There’s guitars! It’s a perfect pop-rock earworm that never ever gets annoying! There’s a goddamn solo made with an autotuned version of the singer yelling “aaaaaaa”!! What more can you possibly want from a hit song?

I’m saying this right now: this is my favorite elligible hit song of the entire decade. Spoilers, I know. The #1s for 2013 and 2014 both come really close, but they aren’t as anthemic as this one. What did we do to deserve something this f█cking good in that day and age? I have no clue, but clearly, we didn’t deserve more of that, because these guys split up very quickly.

Anyone know some kind of magic spell to bring them back for an encore?

Next up: The Year When Just About Everyone Dropped An Excellent Album

[iatasbcl]

Can’t Help Falling In Love

Pairing: Gavin Reed x RK900 (Richard/Nines)

A/N: Tina Chen is my fav lesbian. Also, guess I ship reed900 now,,,

Summary: It’s Tina’s wedding and Gavin has Richard as his date.

Word count:2170

“Ladies and gentlemen give it up for our newlyweds, Nora, and Tina Chen!”

Gavin cheered when he saw his long-time friend finally enter with her bride, both danced to the music that played and had the world’s shiniest smile on their faces. Happiness practically radiated off them.

He felt himself smile unwillingly. “You look positively cheerful, detective.” It was the same cool voice he grew used to, albeit a bit more empathetic now. Gavin’s grin grew wider, “Damn right I am, my girl made it.”

He turned to Nin- Richard and saw him smile back at him, “Yes, I suppose Officer Chen has ‘made it’. Her Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin levels are off the charts.” Gavin let out an amused scoff and knitted his brows together, still grinning.

“You can drop the formalities ya know? We are at a wedding.” He muttered and Richard’s LED turned yellow at the statement. The android gave him a blank stare then nodded slowly. They looked back to the women of the hour. They giggled together and stood by each other as another song started to play, Gavin immediately recognized it.

“The newlyweds will now have their first dance.” The man announced, Tina and Nora faced each other and got into position.

Wise men say, only fools rush in

The first verse began and with it, they moved, they twirled and danced while looking into each other’s eye with what he could assume was unconditional love. Now Gavin wouldn’t consider himself to be a sappy man, nope, no fucking way.

But, this. This was somehow so touching and soul-stirring for him. Seeing one so devoted to another that they probably the rest of the world exists, fuck. He wanted that, he wanted to be an absolute fool that got pampered with love and adoration. He would never admit it though

“Gavin. You zoned out, are you alright?” This brought him out of his little bubble, the song had ended, and Richard looked at him with worry. Richard. He was his date for the night, just his companion, his coworker that agreed to be his ‘date’. It was sad, it was pathetic, but it beat being alone on your best friend’s wedding. Or so he thought.

“Yeah, yeah-” He froze when he realized it. Had he just called him by his name? “Gavin?”

There he went again. Gavin shook his thoughts off, he asked him to be casual, why the hell did that make his mind foggy? It didn’t matter. “Yeah, uh, I’m good.” He shrugged.

It was time for him to give his man of honor speech, and saying he was a wreck was an understatement. The wedding had been so wholesome so far, he didn’t want to ruin Tina’s perfect vision. He sighed as he listened to Nora’s maid of honor’s speech, it was quite emotional, as in he could see the women tearing up. He felt slightly bad for finding it a bit funny.

“Are you anxious, Gavin?” was Richard’s sudden, quiet question.

“No. Why?” He wasn’t going to confide in him.

“Well, your heartbeat keeps increasing as your turn nears. Your palms are slightly shaking and a bit sweaty. It seems as if you are afraid.” He said it in his usual monotone voice like he was stating simple facts.

Gavin snorted, “Huh, me? Scared? No fucking way.”

“You do realize I am an advanced model that can detect lies, right?” Richard said with a smirk, an actual fucking smirk. He felt his heart skip a beat, but he quickly regained his composure. What the fuck was that.

“Your heartbeat does not have a usual beat either, it seems like your terrible caffeine addiction is taking its toll. You should seek medical attention.” The man with steel-eyes said and went back to looking around. The bridesmaid had finally finished her speech. Gavin got up slowly and looked around, everyone was here.

Hank, tin c- Connor, Chris, hell, even the captain was here, and other friends from work. Not that he cared, this was cool, cool, cool, cool-

“Gavin.” Again, the man snapped him out of it, this time it was different though. His soft hand touched his rough one. “Breath. I am sure Tina will appreciate what you have to say.”

His words were simple, and his touch was gentle. It was weird, they had been partners for a while and while he kinda liked him before, he never really let him get this close. Now that he did, he couldn’t help but wish he could stay like this and shit, he didn’t like where his mind was going.

He snatched his hand and just went to where the microphone was, not responding to what Richard said at all. He pulled out his speech and sighed.

“Hey uh, Good evening everyone.” He started, “Hope everyone’s having a good time,” He heard someone woo in the back of the room. “Well for those of you that know me from work, I am shit-bag Gavin.” He heard someone chuckling, probably agreeing with him, Tina smiled.

“Well, I am also Tina’s friend. I’ve known her for over 10 years now and I… couldn’t be happier for her. I remember eating shitty ramen and watching her get ready for her big date, freaking out over how her shoe looked or how her hair wasn’t good. I remember her coming back and looking like she had the time of her life.”

He went on and told some other stories of their relationship and him being their favorite third wheel. How Nora turned out to be allergic to cats and had to be rushed to the hospital the moment she set foot into their apartment. How Nora popped a Champaign bottle and the cork flew directly into Tina's face, hitting her eye. She wore a black eyepatch for a while.

Tina looked at her wife and held her hand, kissing it softly. “I think what makes those two goofballs perfect is how they came through for each other. Always supported one another. Some things are meant to be, and those are definitely one of them.” He paused and looked at the couple, “I wish the best for the both of you, you deserve it.”

“I am glad I got to be a part of your special day, it’s uh- an honor.” Fuck, he didn’t mean to stutter. Wait what was he going to say? He looked back to his paper, but he couldn’t focus, shit, shit, shit.

“Uh,” he gulped and looked around, everyone was still looking at him. Richard did too, he smiled at him and gave him a thumps-up. He closed his eyes for one second, collecting his thoughts. He opened them again, picked up the glass next to him and raised it.

“Let’s all raise a glass to our newlyweds.” And they did, some clapped and wooed. He gave the couple a quick hug and went back to his seat, his heart was finally slowing down.

“You were great.” Said, Richard. He felt his cheeks heat up a bit, “Yeah, I know.” He tried to shrug it off. “hmm, of course, you do.” Came Richard’s sarcastic remark.

Time passed and couples were dancing to the slow song that played. Gavin and Richard were still sitting in their place, the prior man was observing everyone; they seemed to have fun. Even Connor was out there on the dance floor.

“Wouldn’t you like to dance, Gavin?” Richard finally said as he fixed his tux. Gavin rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to fucking pity me okay? I don’t want any of that.”

The android raised his eyebrow, almost offended. “Pity you?” he questioned.

“Yes, stop it. I know you agreed to come with me but ya don’t have to pretend to like me.” He hissed, “Perhaps you should consider asking before making such assumptions, Gavin.” He hissed back.

“I came here with you because I wanted to, and I am asking you to dance because it’s what I would like to do. I would not be here if it was to simply throw you a pity party.” His LED was yellow, again.

“You wanted to come to the wedding, as my date?” He asked in disbelief, “Of course, why else would I be here?”

Oh. Shit, he did not expect this, at all. Richard got up and extended his hand to him, “Now, would you like to dance?”

He cursed internally when he froze again. He wasn’t some dumb teenager deep in love, it was just a dance, just a dance with someone that wanted to be his date. Holy shit.

He took his hand carefully, making sure he wouldn’t change his mind suddenly. Richard pulled him up and towards the dance floor. This felt ridiculous, why did he feel like he could give his whole life to this android?

“Do you even know how to dance?”

“Yes, I learned how to when you asked me to be your date.” He answered like it was the most obvious shit in the world. He held Gavin’s hand while the other rested on his shoulder, Gavin was getting a heart attack today.

Richard slowly leaned in as they swayed together and whispered, “Relax.” Was he some weird hypnotizer? why the hell did his words have this effect on him? “Some things are meant to be.”

“Huh?”

“As a river flows,” He continued, not breaking eye contact, “surely into the sea,” he moved closer, “Darling, so it goes,”

Being on fire would be accurate enough to describe how Gavin felt, this was wrong, this felt like a sin to him, why did he feel so much for an android?

“Somethings are meant to be.” He finished the chorus, “It was a part of your speech.” Oh, right. “I didn’t think you would enjoy this kind of music, Gavin.”

Gavin could feel disappointment wash over him, but he smirked nonetheless, “Well, I am full surprises.” They continued to dance, “It’s my pop’s and mom’s favorite song.” He confessed.

“I see.” They looked into each other’s eyes and Gavin wondered if this what it felt like to utterly defeated by love. To be so lost in someone you forget anyone else exists. If so, he wanted this to last for eternity.

He couldn’t help it, he thought. He can’t help this feeling that straight up invaded his heart, this fondness, this adoration, love, whatever they call it. He couldn’t help falling in love with an aloof andr- man.

They got closer now, he looked up at him and Richard did the same. Time froze and it was just him and this man that he’s fallen for. Something in him pushed him to be even closer and he instinctively put his arms around the taller man’s neck.

Neither of them said anything, just reveling in each other’s presence. But he wanted to say it, he wanted to let it out, but he just couldn’t.

“Is there something you want to say?” he probably analyzed him. “Well, uh, yes.”

“Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere private.” He pleaded and luckily Richard immediately complied, leading him to a surprisingly empty room.

He stood there, trying to collect his thoughts for a minute. The other man just stared at him, his LED still a dim yellow.

“You know how I am me and well, shit.” This was harder than what he thought, “I- uh. I think I care about you, no wait scrap that, I know it.”

He wished the ground would tear open and swallow him whole, Richard didn’t even react to what he said, at all.

“Shit, just, forget what I said. I’m gonna go outside for a while.” He rushed to leave he was pulled back, “I care about you too.”

It was simple. The words slipped out of his mouth with the same monotony. But one look could tell him his voice didn’t match how he felt. His LED was switching between red and yellow; his usual straight posture was now slightly bent.

“You, uh- sure?” He stuttered and Richard nodded, holding his hand. “You are ‘trash’.” Wow, how romantic. “You can’t control your temper and you can be as stubborn as a toddler, but.” He paused, “You are also kind, supportive and a good detective. Today proves it. I enjoy your company, no matter how ‘trashy it is. I love it.”

God, this was cheesy, like those romcoms he always made fun of. But damn if this didn’t mess him up in the best way possible. He laughed, earning an unamused look from his love. “Did I do it wrong? My research suggested I should be hones-”

Gavin waved his hand and got closer to him, “No, you dumbass. It was perfect.”

“Oh.” After that he tightly wrapped his hands around Gavin, slightly bending to put his head on his neck. The heat came back to his cheeks, but he returned the gesture anyway, loving every second of it.

Some things were really meant to be. Maybe this was it.

[marigoldbaker]

s3e20: the prom

synopsis: faith’s somewhat extracurricular (but well-meaning) activities are discovered, and jenny and giles go to prom.

INT. LIBRARY — DAY

Jenny and Faith are having a very, very fierce argument as Giles, Willow, and Buffy enter.

JENNY

You know that’s not the issue!

FAITH

You just don’t trust me enough—

JENNY

This isn’t patrol, Faith. This is something I wouldn’t even want Rupert doing, and that says something. We don’t know anything about what the Mayor is capable of—

FAITH

And now we do. Like, we know a whole lot about what he’s capable of, and I think you should be congratulating me, not yelling at me!

JENNY

He finds out what you’ve been doing and you’re a walking target for a whole world of trouble—

Tentatively, Giles steps in, placing a hand on Jenny’s shoulder. She shoots him an irritated look.

JENNY

Not now.

GILES

(dry)

Hello to you too, beloved.

JENNY

Rupert, tell Faith she’s been incredibly irresponsible and she’s putting herself in danger.

GILES

Jenny, what on earth is going on?

JENNY

She’s been—

FAITH

Okay, Jen’s going to make it sound like I’ve been doing something stupid.

JENNY

Because you have!

Giles holds up a hand, trying to stop them. This does absolutely nothing. Buffy and Willow exchange a look.

BUFFY

Faith, why don’t you just tell us what’s going on from your perspective?

FAITH

Thank you. Okay. So I’ve been working for the Mayor as a fake double agent for the last few months. Really playing up the “troubled teen who just wants to be like Buffy” thing to get him to think I’m on his side, and I’ve got an intense amount of intel on the Ascension thing he’s planning on pulling at graduation day.

There’s a dead silence. Then:

BUFFY

(impressed)

That’s so badass!

WILLOW

(worried)

That seems a little risky.

GILES

(horrified)

That is extremely irresponsible.

JENNY

(pointing to Giles)

Exactly!

FAITH

We know nothing about what the Mayor has planned, guys. What I’m doing is risky, but it could really help us in the long run.

Giles considers this.

JENNY

(warning)

Rupert.

GILES

Jenny, she’s already started doing this, and there’s an inherent risk in her revealing her true colors to the Mayor. If there’s a chance that we could learn more about what might defeat him, I’d say it’s worth at least trying.

FAITH

(smug)

Thank you.

GILES

Hold on, I’m not finished yet. Faith, we’re going to start mapping out every possible detail of your interactions with the Mayor, and I want a written report regarding every conversation you have with him.

FAITH

(indignant)

I’m a spy, not a robot!

JENNY

Spies plan. They don’t just go charging in without any idea of what they’re doing.

GILES

(casual)

Oh, I don’t know, I can think of a rather lovely spy I’m acquainted with who did something to that effect.

Jenny bites her lip, trying not to smile, and lightly smacks Giles’s shoulder. He very briefly catches her hand in his, which really does make her smile.

BUFFY

I’d say this gives us an edge on the Mayor, which is kinda something we’ve been needing for a while…

(hopeful)

and maybe something that’ll make it easier for us all to attend prom stress-free?

WILLOW

(excited)

Ooh, I like that!

Jenny and Giles exchange a look.

GILES

That — does seem quite reasonable, though Jenny and I were planning on going to prom regardless of the state of our research.

JENNY

Mostly because Wesley’s been a total nightmare about anything prom-related and I really like sticking it to him.

GILES

Also as a celebration of our love.

JENNY

(exaggeratedly belated)

Oh, right! That too, I guess.

GILES

(mock-insulted)

Oh, you guess you love me, is that it?

BUFFY

(to Faith)

They’re flirting. You can make a break for it.

Jenny clears her throat loudly and steps away from Giles, turning to fully face Faith.

JENNY

Faith, I just don’t want you taking any risks that could end up getting you seriously hurt or worse. The Mayor’s an incredibly dangerous guy, and I wouldn’t want—

FAITH

I know. But I don’t want us empty-handed on Graduation Day.

JENNY

I understand that, and I appreciate it. Just — you know. Be careful.

FAITH

I will. You know that.

Jenny smiles a little and reaches out, lightly squeezing Faith’s shoulder.

JENNY

I definitely do.

Faith gives Jenny a crooked smile as Jenny lets her hand drop.

BUFFY

So we’re all good here? Because I came to tell Faith that she left her homework in my bag, and nowI think we have to go to class.

FAITH

Sounds like a plan. Hey, Will, you locked down a hot date for prom yet? Because I was thinking—

As the girls leave, Giles reaches out and takes Jenny’s hand, tugging her over to the checkout counter.

JENNY

Rupert, what—

GILES

I have something for you.

JENNY

(teasing)

Is it a corsage for prom?

GILES

(genuinely nervous)

Was I supposed to get one of those?

JENNY

Oh my god, no. No. Please don’t get me a corsage. I’m actually actively trying to avoid getting sucked into the prom experience.

GILES

That’s your prerogative. I was hoping they’d vote me Prom Queen.

Jenny starts laughing, standing on tiptoe to kiss Giles. It’s quick, casual, very tender; pretty clear they’ve gotten used to kissing as of late.

JENNY

(loving)

You’d make an amazing Prom Queen.

GILES

And you are distracting me from the matter at hand. I have something very important to give you.

JENNY

Okay, I’ll bite. What is it?

Giles lets go of Jenny’s hand to rummage in his desk, then pulls out a neatly written letter. Jenny looks at it, then at him, then laughs, delighted.

GILES

This is Wesley’s official recommendation that you be made Faith’s legal guardian, with a very comprehensive explanation as to why he thinks it would be the best idea for the Council, for Faith, and to keep me occupied.

JENNY

Oh my god, how did you get him to agree to this?

GILES

(seriously)

I charmed him.

Jenny snorts.

GILES

(amused)

Oh, you don’t think I’m charming?

JENNY

You’re okay. You’re just not charming enough to charm Wesley.

GILES

I charmed you, didn’t I?

JENNY

I stick around because you’re fun to make fun of.

GILES

And there isn’t any other reason why you might like being around me?

The flirting really is off the charts.

JENNY

(low, coquettish)

I don’t know. You wanna give me a few good ones?

Giles considers this, then picks Jenny up and off her feet. She shrieks, laughing, as he carries her into the office, letting the door swing shut behind them.

A good few seconds pass, then:

GILES (O.C.)

I bribed him.

JENNY (O.C.)

I knew it!

INT. ANGEL’S APARTMENT — DAY

Angel’s making his bed when Jenny comes in, looking absolutely delighted.

JENNY

So you’re going to prom, right? With Buffy?

Angel looks surprised, then smiles slightly, a little shyly.

ANGEL

Yeah, I think so.

JENNY

It’s crazy, isn’t it?

ANGEL

What?

JENNY

Being happy.

Angel’s smile widens. There’s a thoughtful look in his eyes, but it isn’t a brooding one.

ANGEL

Yeah, it kind of is.

Jenny crosses to sit down on Angel’s couch, looking expectantly up at him.

JENNY

Don’t take this the wrong way, Angel, but didn’t you say that you were only going to be here for Christmas?

ANGEL

Yeah, I did say that.

JENNY

And?

Angel pauses before answering.

ANGEL

You said something to me while the First was trying to get its hooks into my brain, back when you gave me back that necklace. I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but I think you said something about how you knew when I left I’d be going back to a place where I didn’t have people around me who cared.

JENNY

(remembering)

That sounds pretty familiar.

ANGEL

Yeah. And — I kinda like having people around who care. I do. I’ve got a soul now, and it’s one that was given to me by someone who cared, and — if kindness gave me this second chance, maybe I should start trying to be kind to myself just like I try to redeem myself for everyone else.

Jenny gets up from the sofa. She’s smiling, soft and proud in an almost teacherly fashion.

JENNY

That’s exactly what I gave you your soul back for, Angel. I’m glad it’s what you’re doing.

ANGEL

Well. It helps that I had someone to figure these things out with.

They smile at each other.

ANGEL

So, hey, you and Giles are going to prom too, aren’t you?

JENNY

Yeah, we’re trying to coordinate outfits and do dumb couple stuff. It’s really fun.

ANGEL

And you two are—

JENNY

Pretty solidly in love. I’m not calling him my “boyfriend,” though. That’s just a little too high school for me.

ANGEL

…said the woman attending prom.

JENNY

Did I ask for your input? Hmm?

INT. GILES’S APARTMENT — NIGHT

Jenny and Faith are standing in the middle of the living room. Jenny, wearing a plum-colored dress interwoven with strands of dark green, is working on properly tying Faith’s bow tie. From upstairs, we can hear the sounds of Giles getting ready.

FAITH

We need a bigger house.

Jenny pauses in tying the tie, then smiles slightly.

JENNY

We really, really do.

Giles hurries downstairs, wearing a waistcoat and bow tie that match Jenny’s dress.

FAITH

You guys are gonna win “Tackiest Couple.” You know that, right?

GILES

(to Jenny)

Is that a thing?

JENNY

(to Giles)

Probably. Embrace it.

(to Faith)

You want me to do something with your hair, or do you think you just want to leave it down?

FAITH

Willow says it looks nice down.

JENNY

(surprised)

Are you and Willow…?

FAITH

What? Oh. Nah, we’re just friends. Thought it’d be fun to go with another gay girl to the prom, that’s all.

Behind them, Giles slips quietly into the kitchen. We can’t make out precisely what he’s doing, but it looks like he’s rummaging in one of the cabinets.

JENNY

That does sound fun.

(smiling)

I’m glad you’re getting the chance to enjoy yourself.

FAITH

(soft, thoughtful)

Huh. I guess I kinda am.

Jenny finishes with Faith’s tie and smooths the tux down, then smooths Faith’s hair. Faith makes a face, batting her hand away.

Giles rounds the corner with a small, mixed bouquet of flowers that go quite well with Jenny’s dress.

GILES

(shy)

Jenny?

Jenny smiles slightly and turns, crossing the room to take the flowers and kiss Giles very softly.

JENNY

You’re the best.

GILES

I learned from the best.

They kiss again. Faith makes some very audible gagging noises, then jerks her head impatiently towards the door when Giles and Jenny break apart.

FAITH

Come on! Prom night isn’t gonna take care of itself, you know.

INT. SCHOOL GYM — NIGHT

It’s a fast song. Angel and Giles are standing by the punch table while Jenny and Buffy dance.

ANGEL

I am so glad she and Buffy are on good terms, because otherwise she’d have made me dance, and I still don’t understand anything faster than a waltz.

GILES

(frowning)

I barely understand waltzing.

Angel pats Giles on the shoulder.

ANGEL

You’ll get there. Only took me a few hundred years.

That makes them both laugh quietly. Then:

ANGEL

I know you know this, Giles, but Jenny’s not someone who loves easily. You won’t luck out the next time you hurt someone she cares about, or even start thinking about it.

GILES

(quiet)

I know. And — I think I may need to start considering where my judgment may fall a bit short, instead of assuming that I know all there is to know. I won’t hurt her or Buffy again, or even consider it.

ANGEL

Good. Because I care about her.

Giles nods, then smiles a bit.

GILES

She’s lucky to have your loyalty.

ANGEL

Jenny or Buffy?

GILES

Both of them, I think.

As Jenny and Buffy stumble over, breathless, Angel smiles too. A slow, lilting song is starting up.

BUFFY

(grabbing Angel’s sleeve)

Hey, boyfriend, let’s boogie.

JENNY

(stepping up to Giles)

What Buffy said.

Angel and Buffy move a little farther out onto the dance floor, hand in hand, and turn to each other, stepping into each other’s arms. There’s a sweet, playful delight as they look at each other; they’re happy in every sense of the word.

Giles takes Jenny’s hand, taking her into his arms where they’re standing.

GILES

I love you so very much, Jenny.

Jenny gives him a tender smile.

JENNY

I really like hearing you say that.

(belatedly)

Oh! And I love you too.

Giles laughs, then kisses her. He pulls back, letting Jenny rest her cheek on his shoulder as they sway quietly to the beat.

[alyjojo]

Today is the story of how my pregnancies came to be, without the fun stuff. It plays a very large role in why I believe in God tbh.

So my ex. It’s a relevant start. Him and I were together four years, never used protection, dumb as that is. I bring that up at because, for much of that time, I just didn’t have periods. Like at all.

After about a year of waiting and taking pregnancy tests wondering what the hell, I went to the doctor (I hate doctors...back then fear won, a lot) and she gave me pills to force me to have one.

I would have one sporadically after, so I didn’t feel like a mutant, and I’d be like well okay...and didn’t go back to the doctor. But it was every few months.

PCOS seems to run in my family, my cousin has used years of fertility treatments to have children, and though it’s worked it’s been a hell of a struggle for her. I was always kind of afraid I couldn’t have kids.

July 2007, I felt a way that was different, didn’t have a period as usual, took a pregnancy test. This was a regular thing with the lack of periods. Positive. ....what?? Told him, and he lost his fn mind. I can’t describe just how stupid he acted, and I was lost. How I knew later he was a cheating pos. We went to Planned Parenthood to take their test. Negative. Idiot danced to his car, and something in me knew he was an idiot but I just let it go.

We broke up a few days later, he did, of course.

The day after we broke up, midst all my emotions yanno how that goes, I started on my own for the first time in...I couldn’t remember. And it stayed that way, regular, every month, ever since.

Mom said “it’s the guy”, who by that point she was kind of disgusted with too lol. Well. Yeah. It was? Seems so. Angry and blaming and rawr at God like I was and they were like nope sorry...not that one, and I just showed you that ���

He continuously plays a role in this story. Idk if he was A soulmate of some sort. I’m definitely one of his life lessons. It’s always been...deeper, even if we don’t even get along. At all.

Ok so hubby. Years later. Ex was long gone, didn’t talk didn’t nada, I lived with my boyfriend 😜 and his parents for a year, working on my car and saving money for a place. Which I did, we moved in August and September 18 (my late gmas bday), I hadn’t had a period and took a test like oh this crap again. Honestly didn’t think I could have kids...never had a scare in the year I’d already been with hubby.

Pregnant. Whaaat? So my EX sends me an email the next fn day. How? I have no idea. I had told hubby...that’s it. I don’t even remember what the email said, how are you or something idk, I avoided it like the plague before being like omg just answer and writing something quickly, send, delete. Never read it again. I’d gotten him out of my brain space tyvm bye. Well in my response was something like lol I’m pregnant. He was the 2nd person to know. And considering he flipped out and left over a baby...karma.

In my later belief system, and seeing my oldest’s chart, she has much Libra/Scorpio influencing her (10th, Saturn/Moon). I felt like initially that positive may have been her, just long enough to get him tf out. The timing of his message blew my mind. Didn’t speak again for like 10 years, baby daughter got the name I had always wanted, and gmas middle to honor her. I still see 9:18 periodically. Love u Gma ❤️

So next baby. After two years in our first apartment, we were bombarded with BEES 🐝 Like this was insane level of bees, you couldn’t leave the house without these threatening mfers chasing you to the car, management was shit, we moved.

Moved into a bigger nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. August again. Had a fun night with some drinks to celebrate the night we moved in...no protection, big fun, hubby joked drunk, there’s #2.

So September 11th...I bought it 😆 But I refused to do it on that day. September 12th...hello baby girl #2.

Years and years pass, we use condoms regularly. Very careful always. Idk how my son came to be and I’ll say it till I die. I went back to work, I had lost a bunch of weight lol, I was not in baby mode at all. I was 100% done. So much that for two months I didn’t even realize. Until my jeans stopped fitting and I was like WTF. Sure enough. Hello baby boy.

I had been playing the sure let’s be friends game 🙄 with some of my ex’s after hubby’s stupid bs. Nothing more trust & believe, hell no. And it just doesn’t work as friends either so idk why we ever tried. Will never get along. The other ones were just drama...was my Saturn return, that was a nightmare. Then we entered his, and that was also a nightmare. That’s as much as I’ll say about that 💯

The last thing I said to that same ex, 10 years later...I’m pregnant 😆 It’s a kind of karma somehow. Goodbye again, the same way it’ll always be. Like God was like I’m sorry, you need a reminder?

My children ❤️

I always blamed my husband for doing it on purpose. Because he was so happy when I was. He’ll always deny it, but the boy came out DADDY’S boy and I just let him take over because...well he wanted to. And for the first time, the baby wanted, demanded, him too. It was actually insanely sweet, still is.

I went to the doctor and said I guess I’m due in February? She’s like try Christmas. I literally threw away the whole doctor and got a new one because I thought she was lying to me 😆

So on Christmas DAY, 6pm, I’m making meatloaf bc I knew a baby would be coming soon and we didn’t want a fridge full of leftovers...water breaks. 7cm dialated by 7pm, they gave me meds to slow down while hubby dropped off the kids at gmas. Little Aries moon was OUT in four hours 🤣 My biggest baby.

Jane...we were again very careful. Condom flew off inside of me completely. Like flew. Idk how tf that happens and it was very uncomfortable to fix btw. We knew, and when it was positive, we knew. We were not in a good place at that time. It was bad.

She was due on my cousins bday, and down to the very signs they would’ve been similar, and my cousin has lost babies...kind of how we had our falling out. She was mad at me for having my boy, but she was petty and rude to me for months, it broke my heart, then her mom my aunt tells me how she and my mother just talk shit about us both, when I trusted her the most, I just...bye. Gtfo ur one of them. Cried.

Well Jane. I lost Jane. I’ll always be sad about it. Cap with Gemini moon (supposed to) ended up being a little lost Leo. Same middle name as my cousin.

It’s here I’ll mention our foster kids. Hubby’s niece by blood, nephew by marriage. They were hard, that situation was hard, the boy is on the spectrum (which I now know means dick all really, he’s incredibly normal despite his horrific early circumstances) and he alone needs a lot of care. And their parents broke up and his dads side wanted them...he’s not ours, how could we claim him first? Our niece fits like a glove, she is ours. His sisters. We felt it was taking away from our kids after awhile, having two more suddenly, with DFS and court and visits and phone calls. We were getting screamed at by the parents for trying to be good people...then my car broke down with this timing chain nightmare, his was totaled (fk u forever)...then came the positive with boy, and we gave the kids to their Dad’s mom. Who is a very nice lady, with money, sister in law be pissed or not. We all felt we just couldn’t do it.

The boy was a Christmas Eve boy. Hilarious and so smart and adorable and sweet, just a lot of work. Our niece, a Leo, born way too early (late Oct due date). Small, tiny, but healthy.

My son is Christmas Day. Hilarious and SO smart and adorable and so sweet...a lot of work. Can not look away for two seconds. Also breaks things. Also punches his sisters. Even looks kinda like our nephew. Its eerie.

I tell my husband we didn’t keep the kids...we had the kids 😞 Because I ended up losing my little Leo, born way too early 😢

These kids are why I believe everything, they’re why I have faith, they’re how I notice the funny little things others wave off as oh it’s coincidence. No, it’s not.

Whether there’s another in the future idk. With Covid it’s not something I want right now. I did have my heart set on 4, once Jane came into the picture.

Maybe someday. Maybe not. Besides #2, which hubby joked about, and she’s a silly sarcastic goose just like her Daddy 😆, it seems God has more say on that then I ever have. With everything.

Take charge types scold me like “you have the power”, and I’m like oh yeah watch this. Try to work or try to do anything, car tires burst or something, some emergency, hubby has some insane project he needs me with them for, a baby appears, or foster kids, something always happens to keep me home. They all need me here. Just how it works in my life.

Someday...who knows? For now, this year, I’m a homeschool teacher ❤️ We’re happy 😊

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: weeks 28 & 29

thoughts on the songs that debuted on the billboard charts of 7.19.1997, 7.26.1997, 7.21.2007, 7.28.2007, 7.22.2017, and 7.29.2017.

spoiler: that too many songs

Week Twenty-Eight

7.19.1997

17) "Gotham City," by R. Kelly

There is nothing of value to be said here, especially by me, who enabled the monster for so long. There is nothing in this song that could justify the lives he's ruined. I hope his body rots worse than his soul.

19) "Whatever," by En Vogue

This is a lovely palette cleanser! A fairly groovy R&B tune by a known entity, not particularly deep and focused solely on being a joy to listen to. Washes the bad taste of the men we watched do harm right out of our mouths, and it leaves us ready to dive back into music we like from uncomplicated humans who DON'T have actual sex slaves!

47) "Take it to the Streets," by Rampage ft./Billy Lawrence

This was pretty okay. Rampage is Busta Rhymes' cousin, so that's neat for him. What a boon that must have been for him in his career. I -- I'm sorry, the big 1997 project is over, and now 1997 is just a fact of everyday life and not a fun treat for us, and now everything feels like an obligation instead of a delight. Or maybe these songs are just enh, I don't know, anyway, next we have a selection off a shitty rock band's worst album, hoo boy, really getting excited for 1997's first week as a YAS regular.

57) "Last Night on Earth," by U2

This is a U2 single. They made a video for it. They have a VEVO and an official account, a U2be if you will, and that music video they made for this song is on neither. All I can find are unofficial uploads. The views on these uploads don't appear to crack the 500,000-view barrier. Even people who LIKE U2, whose job or hobby involves promoting and sharing U2's music would rather not think about this song. Nor should they, it's a dumb song no one should like, but man, if people who like this dumb band aren't into it, what hope did this song have with me?

70) "Four Leaf Clover," by Abra Moore

I shouldn't be the one to feel the instinct to teleport on seeing an Abra, but here we are. 1997 picked a hell of a week to have its worst week, y'all. I timed this poorly.

79) "When You Talk About Love," by Patti LaBelle

A fun way to set expectations for a song is to see what other auto-complete results pop up when searching for the song. One of the ones for this was "zumba." I can hear that. This is a song fast enough to exercise to, but doesn't go hard enough to inspire you to do actual exercise, you just stay with the DVD you found at Target with the fun name. I feel like I should be more into a Patti LaBelle song than I currently am, but I am for some reason in no mood to 1997 right now! It's head of the class but not graduating with honors.

83) "Up Jumps the Boogie," by Magoo & Timbaland ft./Aaliyah & Missy Elliott

It's interesting that Billboard gave Magoo top billing over Timbaland! It's weird that I never hear Magoo brought up when they talk about Timbaland, but I'm excited to h -- wait. ...Wait, is that... OK, no, okay, Magoo? Magoo. You had to know you were awful at this, right? You had to know you had no chance to succeed, that you would be transcended. Oh, Magoo, I am so sorry that this is your life. Anyway, Timbaland! This is dope. I have my issues with Timbaland's sound in 2007, but Timbaland is yet to drown in excess, this track has a nice build to it, and I have enough nostalgia that I am willing to forgive any amount of Magoo if it means a Timbaland/Missy collaboration. But Magoo is just unbelievably bad. They made a version of this song without him, right? It'd be a travesty if they didn't. Like, Magoo is keeping this song out of the Top 20.

91) "I Say a Little Prayer," by Diana King

I bet a "Say a Little Prayer" cover had some novelty value before American Idol kind of ruined covers of standards for the rest of the world. Like, I've heard enough versions of "Say a Little Prayer" in this lifetime that I didn't need this reggae version intercut with scenes from a romantic comedy. She does have another single called "Shy Guy," though. She and I have the same favorite Super Mario Bros. 2 enemy! That's one thing I got. Ugh, heck next week, TAKE ME 2007. I AM READY TO LOVE YOU AGAIN. TAKE ME INTO Ywhat do you mean "love theme from transformers"

7.21.2007

68) "You Know What It Is," T.I. ft./Wyclef Jean

T.I. claims, "I had the album of the year, Grammy or not." At first blush, this may seem overly boastful; after all, it's been established that T.I. may not be one of the 100 greatest rappers of all time, and T.I. never quite had the superstar power of a Kanye or a Kendrick or the type that usually wins the award. But the 2007 field for Best Rap Album was actually sorta weak. You have a Ludacris album with zero signature hits, which is notable given that Ludacris is the Foo Fighters of rap, an album from Pharrell that is only there because Pharrell made it, and albums from Lupe Fiasco and The Roots that were never going to win but do let the Grammys signal to their audience that they know what's up. Plus, 2006 in general was a shitty year for rap. You'd have to really stan for OutKast or Jay-Z to defend Idlewild or Kingdom Come, and apart from Food & Liquor, there aren't any classics bubbling just under the mainstream. Much in the same way 1989 was the best pop album of 2014 because everyone else's albums sucked, T.I.'s King was the best rap album of 2006. Unless you're into the Jeezy album or the Rick Ross album. Maybe those? I don't fuckin' know, I don't know history, this song is OK.

85) "LoveStoned," Justin Timberlake

Kind of unpleasant going from fun and actually composed music from Timbaland to "here's a thousand noises I slapped together TURNED TO ELEVEN" Timbaland. See, look at that, it has been like fifteen minutes, and I'm already nostalgic for the '90s. Only '90s kids will remember when Timbaland didn't make confusing music.

86) "Before It's Too Late (Sam and Mikaela's Theme)," The Goo Goo Dolls

Hey, remember in YAS '90s when I lamented the death of the soundtrack? Sure would be nice if we could pinpoint the exact moment the soundtrack cut died, the one soundtrack cut that ruined the commercial viability for future soundtrack cuts to come. Might be an interesting quest to take, to find the last soundtrack cut! Anyway, love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers

93) "Cupid Shuffle," Cupid

/went to bed at midnight /had a day at work where he said zero words to people /rough bus ride home /faced with 30 pop songs /plus self-imposed deadline /slumped over on desk /twitching more like... /labored breathing stupid shuffle /ugly crying that sounds like coughing

94) "Tough," Craig Morgan

It has been nearly two weeks since I've heard a country dude. I'm not even going to count the three country dudes I heard during YAS97, because one was George Strait and that treacly-ass nonsense about how daughters are awesome or whatever is about as country as a skyscraper. Not that this goes that much harder, it's a song celebrating a mother's toughness (which is honestly about as feminist as country gets), but you can really hear the difference in production values in country dude songs between 1997 and 2007. Songs get built better in the modren era, and while this eventually leads to the trashification of country, and also this song is cheeseball as hell, this is so much better to listen to than that Bros Brothers track.

95) "Everyday America," Sugarland

Songs like this are uncomfortable to contend with in an age where billionaires co-opt this sentiment to trick America into plunging itself into a totalitarion nightmarescape. This is a song that plays during the preamble to a rally where a man yells at you that the best way to save this version of America which never existed is to strip yourself of health care and just spray poison straight into the sun so that billionaires can pocket an extra $50k. I'm sorry, Sugarland. Usually I don't get in this mood, but this is 2017 we live in, and also all the things I said in the Cupid section.

99) "Misery Business," Paramore

I can hear the criticism of this song as something somewhat unfeminist, but expecting any 19-year-old to walk this earth cognizant of all social issues and doing their best to fight them is stupid. 19-year-olds should be making songs about some asshole what stole their boyfriend. It kinda sucks she used the word "whore?" But we all said shitty sings when we were 19. Most of the shit I said is archived on Facebook, and Hayley Williams has the singular misfortune of having her problematic years attached to THIS SONG WHICH GOES HARD AS HELL AND IS A POP/PUNK MASTERPIECE. This song rules. It's childish in all the right ways, and I'm always gonna have that nostalgia blind spot for it. Heck you for trying to ruin it with valid points about the song's less-than-chill attitude towards gender roles, just sit back, dawg. It could get worse. Remember when R. Kelly had a top 20 hit in this post?

100) "Guys Like Me," Eric Church

In the sense that this built a foundation on which Eric Church built up enough clout that he earned the creative freedom to make "Mr. Misunderstood," this song is worthwhile. In every single other sense, I can't believe I expressed something like positive thoughts about modren country music.

7.22.2017

(70) "Mi Gente," by J Balvin & Willy William

I was stoked to jump back into 2017 with some Latin pop. I've been down with this Latin pop revival (insofar as Latin pop needed to be revived (it was still thriving just not in the states (like duh))), and I was stoked for this song, but the translation shows that this is a song about how good this song is. I mean, hey, I've heard worse, but that doesn't mean we can't do better than this. Still, I like that fun kazoo noise, and this song has as much a right as any to shout about how good it is. Not a classic, but we ragequit this project after DJ Khaled took the top song, so hey, we're already doing better!

(78) "Rake it Up," by Yo Gotti ft./Nicki Minaj

Having heard every rap song that hit the Hot 100 from January through July 1997, I can confirm that literally all but one rapper in 1997 was better at the act of rapping than this Yo Gotti character. I have no nostalgia goggles for '90s rap, I am completely ignorant of any rap history that didn't make it to Shea Serrano's Rap Yearbook, I literally just mainlined the entirety of 1997 rap, and I can state from a position of authority that Yo Gotti is garbage to listen to. He has an advantage on Magoo, I am not here to engage in hyperbole, but he is worse at this thing he is being paid to do than all that preceded him. Nicki has a fun verse, her verses are usually fun, but this dude is awful. I'm supposed to think this is rap after having heard the "Not Tonight" remix? Come on, man.

(85) "Bodak Yellow," by Cardi B

I picked up Gangsta Bitch Music Vol. 1 based on the recommendation of a basketball podcast, and I was impressed. I thought there was a lot of potential there, and I'm glad to see it's getting harnessed into something. I might've picked a better person to mimic than Kodak Black, but I'm not gonna complain about a solid song. "Said little bitch/You can't fuck with me if you wanted to/These expensive/These is red bottoms, these are bloody shoes." I kinda fucking love that. Like, just casually letting you know she's already stomped on people. I'm into this. I hope she gets to do something less derivative in the future.

(87) "Who Dat Boy," by Tyler, the Creator ft./A$AP Rocky

I will never complain about Rocky in any situation. I actually haven't listened to... gosh, anything Tyler's made since Goblin. I think that's understandable, what with Goblin being terrible. But this is really cool. This isn't as Adult Swim as the Odd Future cohort can get. It still sort of sounds weird for weirdness' sake, but there's focus, there's actual dedication to making this sound like the nightmare Tyler thinks his head is. Plus, Rocky. I like that guy. Not bad! That counts as high praise, given my history with Tyler, the Creator.

(89) "Heartache on the Dance Floor," by Jon Pardi

he's not even a good singer. there is nothing about this dude's voice that is pleasant to hear, it sounds like an imitation of better singers, like what if you replaced everything that gave chris stapleton's voice depth and clarity and distinctive tone and replaced it with gross goat sounds. he has a range of "the note he sings in this song." fuck this dude and fuck everyone that ever believed in him.

(99) "Extra Luv," by Future ft./YG

Did... Did Future take inspiration from his collaboration with Calvin Harris? Because I don't think I've ever grooved this hard to a Future song. I don't think Future has ever made a song to be grooved to. It's usually music to make you run through a brick wall or music to contemplate every dark thought you've ever had, never a song that just exists for the sake of being fun to listen to. Like, did Future just go into the studio with Calvin Harris and just have his mind blown, like, "Wait, music can sound like THIS? I gotta try this shit out! Hot damn! This is a game-changer!" Still some sadness, it's about a woman loving how rich Future is and not Future himself, but it's packaged so differently from the rest of Future's stuff and I'm so thrilled if this is the direction Future will take with his next five albums!

Who won the week?

While we would like to give 2007 a shout-out for the individual achievement of Paramore, man, the rest of 2007 is horrible this week. 1997 and 2017 don’t fare a ton better; 2017 at least gives us three tracks that are interesting and, given how salty and/or burnt out I am, are probably a lot better than I think they are in my current mental state. It’s 2017.

Week Twenty-Nine

7.26.1997

31) "Someone," by SWV ft./Puff Daddy

Very nice work! Bob exclaimed, stirring himself from the Soulja Boy Tell'em passage he was writing because he doesn't need to listen to "Crank Dat" to know how "Crank Dat" makes him feel. You girls sure rocked the house! he said, wondering why he admitted he was looking past this song and not giving it the fair chance he gave other songs before it. Bob doesn't know what's happening in this paragraph, and while Bob would like to start over, he won't, because he wrote all these words, and deleting them would mean having to write more, y'know?

32) "I Can Love You," by Mary J. Blige ft./Lil Kim

A'ight, if you're gonna make me listen to this much R&B in one sitting, I appreciate that you're gonna give me something close to a standard. One day, man, I'm gonna get familiar with Mary J. Blige, and this song is a reminder of all the great things I'm missing out on, like I'm in a world right now where I'm not sure where this song ranks in the Mary J. Blige canon but can be absolutely certain it's not in the top tier. I'm gonna get to it, I've got other shit to work through but I swear, I'm gonna get to it. Gosh, I'm like seventy-five seasons behind on R&B musc.

57) "To the Moon and Back," by Savage Garden

...This could've stood to be a tad more dramatic. Like, I don't know, I'm trying to evaluate this song on some unspecified criteria, I lack the capacity of language to be writing these posts in the first place, I have no idea how to tell you what I'm looking for, but this song sounds like it's on this middle road between "beautiful subtle ballad" and "epic overblown power ballad," and I wish it would just choose a side, ever give me all the emotions or try to get at one specific emotion. It's alright, I didn't want to switch the YouTube video off, it just feels like nothing.

85) "(Freak) And U Know It," by Adina Howard

I've used the words "trash" and "garbage" a lot over the past week, because those are accurate descriptors of certain kinds of '90s music, but we also need to acknowledge when "trash" is a positive virtue. This song is trashy in all the right ways. It is completely unconcerned with engaging with the listener intellectually, focusing instead on the private parts, which she would very much like to freak. While sometimes it's disheartening when someone we know can do better doesn't try to do better, this song wouldn't work if it were concerned with anything but the basest desires. You should generally want something that is worth thinking about after you finish the song, but sometimes, you want a sexy voice over a funky bass line asking if you wanna go down.

7.28.2007

47) "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)," Soulja Boy Tell'em

This song is a singular achievement in American culture, and the day it was brought to our attention is the day we were alerted to the meaning of life.

100) "Never Too Late," Three Days Grace

YAS ALT-HISTORY: if everything went according to plan, I was going to pretend "Never Too Late" didn't exist and make Soulja Boy Tell'em take on the offerings of 2017 on his own, the last Spartan warrior screaming at the cloud of arrows. You can't know anything close to the disappointment I felt in the twenty seconds it took me to scroll from 47 to 100, getting more and more excited for the Soulja Boy Tell'em vs. The World narrative, and then finding, of all songs, this buttrock ballad, here to ruin everything, here to drag Soulja Boy Tell'em down. Like, Three Days Grace was one of the better buttrock bands; "Animal I Have Become" is legit, and the entire One-X album is the best thing any buttrock band put out, but this ballad sorta blows, and it completely ruined what should have been Soulja Boy Tell'em week. I can't forgive this song for doing that to me.

7.29.2017

(23) "The Story of OJ," by Jay-Z (35) "4:44," by Jay-Z (47) "Bam," by Jay-Z ft./Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley (51) "Family Feud," by Jay-Z ft./Beyonce (55) "Kill Jay-Z," by Jay-Z (56) "Smile," by Jay-Z ft./Gloria Carter (63) "Caught Their Eyes," by Jay-Z ft./Frank Ocean (86) "Moonlight," by Jay-Z (90) "Marcy Me," by Jay-Z

Jay-Z is great and 4:44 is great and all of these songs are great and 2017 has pulled off two wins by cheating. Like, if there's one thing I learned from 1997, it's that, when Drake gets 20 songs on the chart, he's taking those spots away from weird and/or wonderful songs by artists that will never hit again. I can't stop thinking about "Fulton St." two or three days after hearing it, but if it happened to drop one of those weeks an AAA artist dropped an album in 1997 and the Billboard chart was using the formula it is today, I wouldn't have heard it. That's not to say these songs aren't great, it's just an unfortunate quirk of these modern times, that Jay-Z gets nine hit songs and someone smaller is gonna lose their shot at something like notoriety.

(33) "Bank Account," by 21 Savage (94) "Famous," by 21 Savage

has this dude ever felt an emotion? i dunno, it's entirely possible i didn't feel like paying attention, but both of these songs were rapped in the same passive tone, never changing, just a voice maintaining at some level of chill without acknowledging anything like a feeling. which is impressive, if the goal is to get people to listen and never stop listening, this is the voice you need to perfect, this is a voice that can lull you into a trance where you wake up two hours later and realize you've listened to two of this dude's albums, but i know i have to hit skip at the end, and it's so fucking boring DO SOMETHING

(25) "Praying," by Kesha

Kesha went through a lot to make this song, and, as is stated, she has been through hell, through no end of pain and torture the likes of which no one should ever have to know. I can respect that.

(52) "Sorry Not Sorry," by Demi Lovato

I'm into Demi Lovato. I'm into shallow fun pop songs. I hated every second of this. Here's my conspiracy theory. I mentioned 1989 when discussing T.I. What if there's a conspiracy going on to make all pop music sound really shitty so that, when Tay Tay releases her album, she doesn't have any insurmountable hills to climb to claim Album of the Year again? (Yeah, DAMN. happened, but To Pimp a Butterfly was better than 1989. Didn't stop the Grammys!) Like, I'm into everything Julia Michaels has done, and I'm gonna love any album she releases, but she's not on that level. Selena Gomez is doing fun stuff, but she needs one more "Bad Liar" if she wants to hit that level. We're apparently not into Lorde anymore, we're finally over Katy Perry, no one else seems to be willing to release an album, I mean, Tay Tay's gonna take another weak year and use it to trick people into thinking an A- album is an A+. Big Machine somehow ruined this song, and we need to figure out how deep this goes.

(89) "Glorious," by Macklemore ft./Skylar Grey

I am as interested in Macklemore without Ryan Lewis as I am in six untoasted hot dog buns.

(91) "Get Low," by Zedd & Liam Payne

Oh good, the EDM dudelords are starting to rip off Calvin Harris' funky sound. Great. Look what you did, "Slide." (And to some extent, we should hold "Run Up" responsible, except "Run Up" is perfect and you never gave it a chance.) Now Zedd thinks he can make a shitty summer song. I didn't want to hear what Zedd thought summer sounded like. Turns out Zedd thinks summer is good! What a bold take, never saw that coming.

(92) "Fetish," by Selena Gomez ft./Gucci Mane

pop music is bad and i should not have added more of it to my weekly routine. "you've got a fetish for my love." that's fucking stupid. like, see! we had two decent songs from selena gomez, then this tanks her momentum! we're setting up for another year where tay tay takes a bye into Album of the Year consideration, and it won't even be as good as Red. she'll take her special brand of adult top 40 and amaze people who haven't heard a good song in weeks. man. what an unfortunate week to attempt to pull a double shift. the right thing to do would be to go to tumblr and say i'm cranky and need more time, but despite how bad the weeks were, i think i have some solid jokes. also, we got to think about jay-z for a few seconds! that was nice. thank you for making music this year, jay-z, i truly appreciate the work you put into making this post not a chore.

Who won the week?

It is kind of cheating to roll out a classic rap album, especially when the rest of 2017′s offerings were so enh. (I might like 21 Savage more if I weren’t so over everything.) But 1997 and 2007 don’t bring much to the table, either, and I can’t help how the charts get made. 2017 wins another one, which actually puts it ahead in the season standings: 2017: 11 1997: 10 2007: 8 Next week, 2007 rolls out High School Musical 2 and Billy Ray Cyrus against “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems,” which I think is going to go very well for 2007! 2017 will likely feature that shitty bro country dude’s attempt at being Chris Stapleton. Congratulations, 1997. (Hey, Bob, when you gonna do 1987, it only m)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[chadnevett]

Random Thoughts (March 18, 2017)

* It's been a week... Michelle and Ryan are out of town, so I've been taking the bus to and from work, which, given that we decided to buy a house on the complete other side of town has not been tons of fun. Plus, we've been short at work, so I've been working extra, both at the office and at home. Just... tired. Not trying to complain, because the week actually went much better than I had anticipated coming into it. Lots of things broke my way. Just saying that I'm tired and, as much as I miss my wife and son, the fact that they're not back until tomorrow night is lovely. Some time to rest up and relax. For now, that means just typing out these random thoughts...

* Last Sunday, I watched Captain America: Civil War and Star Trek Beyond (I still have Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice for later today). I enjoyed the latter much more than the former. As I said on Twitter, Star Trek Beyond was a dumb movie that didn't try to act like it wasn't; Civil War was a dumb movie that thought it was a smart movie. I mean, fuck, it was incredibly dumb. That's not a bad thing. That's what giant action movie tentpole flicks are. But, it's amazing to me how, over the course of the last few years, they managed to build to Civil War in such a way where the natural sympathies are completely reversed from the comics. I said it after Age of Ultron, but a possible weakness of these movies that no one probably thought about ahead of time is that actually seeing this level of destruction changes the way you view these heroes. They're destroying cities and killing people and, yeah, they didn't mean to, but... Plus, they weren't exactly setting up Cap as sympathetic when his main goal was making sure his old buddy who's a brainwashed killer isn't arrested -- and, then, at the end of the movie, basically locks him away himself... And everyone fights and changes sides and it's all over the dumbest shit. I guess it's a bit more realistic that way, because people are stupid, but it's just dumb to watch. Star Trek Beyond, on the other hand, started with the best premise ever: "Thank god this isn't a TV show anymore, because we're three movies in and already bored!" But, they stop being bored by riding motorcycles, which you can't do in space usually, so, good on them. I also dug how they didn't even bother to give the main villain a plausible story until there were, like, ten minutes left in the movie and, even then, it was just "His ship crashed and he can't war anymore and he's gone crazy."

* On the music front... three new albums for me over the past month or so: Prisoner by Ryan Adams, Solidarity by Bill & Joel Plaskett, and Wild Cat by Danko Jones. Prisoner is tops of that list for me. It probably says nothing good that, for a while there, "Breakdown" by my favourite song. Tough week that week, y'know? It's the sort of album that I need when I want something a bit quieter but with some rock -- whereas Wild Cat is what I need when I want something loud and kinda dumb in places. I mean, the two spots where I tend to sing along are the lines "Come over here, baby, and let me love you like man" (off "Success in Bed") and "Revolution... but then we make love!" (off "Revolution (But Then We Make Love)") I mean, it's Danko Jones... it's dumb cock rock with lyrics that you're sometimes embarrassed to sing along to, but it rocks. The Plaskett album is a collaboration between father (Bill) and son (Joel) and seems to follow a folky sort of root based on blue collar/socialist ideas. I'm a fan of Joel's and wasn't sure what I'd think of this one going into it, but it's rather good. "Blank Cheque" is the track of choice here. Good albums so far this year.

* A week or so ago, I finished reading 4 3 2 1 by Paul Auster. It's a big book, especially for Auster, who usually is more of a 150-300 pages kind of author (with the former being more common than the latter). It's, what 866 pages. It starts with a prologue chapter, of sorts, detailing the grandparents and parents of Archie Ferguson prior to his birth. Then, he's born, and we get four versions of him, depending on which town in the same region in New Jersey his parents pick to live. Every chapter goes through the cycle of each Ferguson in order as we see their differences and similarities and all of that. It's an interesting book that takes a while to really get into a groove with as it takes a while for all of the different details to sink in. You almost need a little chart to remind you which Ferguson is dating Amy, which Ferguson has her as a cousin by marriage, and which has her as a step-sister -- which is autobiographical Ferguson, which is reporter Ferguson, which is prose Ferguson, etc... Auster denies the autobiographical elements, but they're hard to miss. At least in broad ways. The details are no doubt fictional, but the broad experiences of growing up in New Jersey, longing for New York, going to Columbia, being a writer, going to Paris, etc. are all from his life. Even the types of writing the different Fergusons do seems to be the various types Auster has done over his life/career and each one given to one of the Fergusons. It's like he splintered himself to a degree and then added a lot of "What if...?" type stuff to it. Which is what a lot of fiction is anyway. For such a long book, I never really felt like it was a slog. A lot of critics harp on Auster's prose style, but it's such easy-going... writing that encourages you to keep reading. It's a pleasant experience. My only complaint is that I'm not sure any of the Fergusons would have made a strong novel on their own (maybe #3?). Much of the power each narrative has is in comparison/contrast to the others. I mean, that's the gimmick of the book, but I guess I would have liked it if they stood on their own a bit better. But, I could also see me waiting a decade or so and, then, reading each Ferguson narrative on its own to see how it stands up. (I've considered doing something similar with James Ellroy's Underworld USA books... just because...)

* Watched all three Major League movies this week, because baseball is coming. Conceptually, there's a lot that I like in all three. I could see a remake being done of the first one where it's not an owner tanking to move the team, but a front office tanking as part of the rebuild process -- and how the players react to that concept. The sequel looking at the effects of success and budding stardom on players was interesting. The part that really stuck out to me was when Willie Mays Hayes comes back form the offseason bulked up a bit and looking to be a power hitter instead of the leadoff guy and the manager just berates him about knowing his role and not deviating from it. We're supposed to side with the manager, but I found myself siding with Willie. Find another leadoff guy -- if a dude can hit for power, you don't hold that back. Especially because he later showed that he still had speed. That sounds like a guy who just added another dimension to his game.

* For reasons that only make sense to me, I'm in the middle of rewatching everything Randy Orton did in 2009 that I have on DVD. I will write about it. Shit, I should go watch some of that, because I haven't all week. With the extra time on the bus and working and being TIRED, I haven't wanted to do this... I think I left off with Ortin beating Triple H in the awful Three Stages of Hell match at the Bash. Onto the next night on Raw for a Gauntlet match against Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, and Mark Henry...