#ITS JUST MESSY SKETCHES IM SORRY BUT IM LAZY

[jademmoth]

Shitted out a oc after months of telling myself I'd make one

[plutoons]

Can you do a tutorial on how your art process is done I’m about to quit on Art everything I make fucking sucks .

hey anon !! My art process is almost non existent cause i haven’t been able to stick to One definitive way and i don’t want to cause i think its limiting. I still have a long way to go for improving my skills and learning new things and figuring out different styles !!

Heres a quickk drawing showing what my “main” process is

This is something i generally have stuck to for most of my posted drawings (i can post things specific to some drawings on a separate reblog ^^ im just to lazy to get pictures of em for examples rn)

Doodle !! I cant visualize shit, and usually have a very vague idea of what id like to draw Or just nothing at all. So I doodle messily with expressive gestures till’ i find something that sticks

choose one final concept/sketch and clean it up a lil so i have a way better idea of what im getting myself into

Base colors cause i hate doing lineart. So i just go straight into colors casue its fun and i like fun!! Right on top or on a diff layer it doesnt matter. I color pick with my eyes and put base colors or anything i think it would be cool. No pressure and it can messy cause I’ll clean it up and figure shit out later

fuck around and find out (rendering ig)—> i cant explain it super well or definitively. I just layer and throw colors on top till im satisfied or Done with it. I flip my canvas a bunch or check my values to make sure the results come out to look more coherent regardless of the mess of color

Im just a simple person and cant handle something that requires too many steps or things that havta be done Just right so this works for me atm. This may not be your jam but finding a process in that works for you through trial an error is just a part of art. Do what works for you!! I think experimenting is so important even if it sucks in the end

(more Words / “advice ?” under cut)

I have so many shitty drawings and sketches and even colored things that outweigh the tiny bits of art i decide to show off

I totally get that creating art can get really discouraging at times; not getting the results you want when you want them no matter how much effort you put in just sucks, but it won’t always be that way :] even if it takes you 10 years to find your groove and see improvement or 2 years, it’ll happen. I find that i’ve only improved when i actively didn’t give a fuck about how my art looks and only cared that i was having fun through it all, and thats hard cause perfectionism is a bitch and its hard to get rid of. You could improve with studies and daily practice for sure but moving towards improvement can be as fun and light n breezy as you want to make it, like taking a break to explore different hobbies or changing up mediums or fucking around and experimenting with it can help !!! Allow ur art to be bad; cause fuck it, at least you made something and thats really really cool. Once you cut urself some slack it’ll be easier to improve upon your skillset and slowly but surely get to where you want

Sorry im a bit tired idk if this is coherent so heres a more direct thing i’d like to say:

Maybe ur art isn’t where you want it to be rn and ik it can kill ur motivation to keep going at it (i’ve experienced this feeling a lot and im sure so have many others). But you gotta ease up on urself and stop worrying about results so you can allow yourself to experiment and have fun!! And its hard getting into that mindset but you gotta keep trying and you’ll find it getting easier

[chubbygrape]

mini rant re drhdr artstyle

I smtms hate my friends getting into the things that I like cause they rarely ever get it right and come forth with some crazy takes

like preferences are a thing but this isnt about that at all; my friend read dorohedoro and commented how it was 'hard to read', the art was 'immature' (tHROUGHOUT the series supposedly) , messy and not clean and how they could see the 'sketch' lines etc etc----

like.... my friend, thats the point... Its meant to be messy cause drdr IS messy and its grunge and dark and unsettling and it manages that by having this sort of artstyle. The artstyle SERVES this aesthetic. it has intention!! I find the dorohedoro artstyle SCRUMPTIOUS, everything about it is stylistic heaven. and you can see art progression ofc but it still retains this character which shows intention behind it. Like, you can see the sketch lines under the ink??? and you think thats the author being lazy ????????

I just personally feel like if something is not your thing (and I understand that cause i do believe drhdr artstyle is not for everyone) you can still appreciate it or at least get what the author was going for. But to dismiss it as 'unpolished' and 'messy'??? to miss the entire point of it?? ahh

but this is the thing some people dont get these things and then i either have to swallow it like a bullet (99% of the time) or i have to come off as an argumentative idiot who cant take criticism about her fave series

Anyways sorry im just too passionate about the artstyle and aesthetic of dorohedoro i cant even explain my love for the stylistic choices Hayashida has made

[freebooter4ever]

Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

[neonbite]

I always see posts like "dont feel bad for not being an inhumanly fast art machine thats pumping out fast art every day and following every single hype train and trend and hashtags etc"

It makes me feel so conflicted bc i *am* an inhumanly fast art machine that can technically follow all those trends and hype trains if i anted to, but i just am not interested???? So i feel like im wasting my skill by not doing whats expected of me (bc i have a very complicated relationship with expectations)

In the end i just kinda wish i could slow down and create anything that feels worthwhile bc everything i do i do so fast that its like. Ppl constantly talk abt how this fast way of drawing is "toxic" or "not good for ur health" or "mediocre/limiting potential" bc if i take more time it could be *even bettter*

And im like. No....... I don't like that. Taking longer on a drawing just makes me hate it, and not only the drawing itself, bc i looked at it for too long and see every single "flaw" but also bc it just ruins the fun. I like the sketch stage, i like the exploration. But """"rendering""""" ???? Hell. Horrible. I fuckig hate realistic detail. BUT ITS WHAT IS EXPECTED 😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪🤪

Ooooh im not a real artist unless i render out my stuff to perfection ooooh im wasting my potential because im calling my drawings done after just an hour or two. im soooo lazy for it ofc and i could do so much greater blahblah lah

Jdjxjcj sorry this post got into rant territory im just so. Fuming over expectations of others on me and the expectations that it has forged inside of myself *at myself* where im at a point now where im constantly at war with myself when i try to draw bc i want, in my heart, sketchy messy stylized weird stuff. But my brain says no we will not get recognition for this, we need to be safe and boring cookie-cutter-semirealism like eveyone else thats successful!!!!!!!! The simple minded just see impressive detail and go wwoooaaah and if u do weird stuff they wont get it no one cares

AND I HATE THIS THOUGHT PROCESS I WANT RID OF IT BUT IDK HOW

Anyways i dont rpy want replies or anything i just wanted to throw this innthe void before i forget bc i didnt feel like standing up and searching my journal in another room so i will subject yall to it instead. (DW i have therapy on thursday 💞)

[shameboree]

several of u wanted to see my Process for lineless so dw i am HERE to disappoint 😎 once again pointing out that how i draw is shaped entirely by the 1 to 3 layer drawing applets i used thru all my formative yrs so that is why i am soooo bare bones

BLOCK OUT THAT SILHOUETTE BABEY!! idr bother w sketching unless its literally a stick figure im gonna block and carve anyway bc i prefer to do it all on one layer so its a MOOT EFFORT

alpha lock my fav and most beloved feature. i just kinda color block what i wanna do so i know whats goin on

basic detailz time

then i just draw the fuckin rest i guess

LAST STEP try n catch anything i just extremely fuckin hate before posting. i have a fuckton of pattern brushes ive either made frm free images or bought from somewhere that i couldnt remember if i tried. i do not keep track of jack shit my brush library is a MASSACRE. anyway this is the only part im kinda careful w if i truly deeply do not feel like redrawing over parts i cover up. sometimes ill add patterns before details to make it easier on myself but it all depends on how much im using my brain which is not much and not often.

im so sorry i dont have any sick tricks im literally the laziest bitch i know

EDIT this is only if i do a clean draw or whatever, when im being lazy and messy i literally just draw like u would paint w acrylics or do papercraft, one layer on another. EASY PEASY

[elytrafemme]

ART FOR MY HORROR FIC! The cropping and focus is a bit off but my pajamas look cool and I’m too lazy to bother w/ positioning. 

Quick note that I’m not super experienced w/ drawing faces -- hence why tubbo has none lol -- nor am I great w/ body proportions. i wrote on here that im a shit artist which i dont think is true nor good to say BUT i am still learning! I used a ref to try n get the general body shape right but im aware i kinda fucked up the arms so. Just know im working on that and that im hoping 2 practice more w/ anatomy :] 

also tubbo isn’t the protagonist though he’s one of the main characters, tommy’s technically the protagonist but i didn’t want to bother with drawing blonde hair considering i have no markers nor any good colored pencils for it. on that note the tree at the bottom was meant to be art of younger Tubbo in this AU, who did have blonde and slightly longer hair, but the colors didn’t work so I covered it up with the tree.

reblogs appreciated! everything below this is the ID! 

- 

[start ID: photo of a sketchbook, with a computer and flowery pajama pants out of frame. at the top of the sketchbook there is brown marker print saying, “UNTITLED HORROR AU - C!TUBBO DESIGNS”. underneath it in teal it says, smaller, “by @nightmare-rivulets, 05/21/22″. Beside the writing is a drawing of a pond, with a brown edge to the dark teal-blue water, and some rocks with dead ferns coming out. above it says, “my attempt at the pond”. Below is a sketch of tall brown evergreen trees with a shadowing figure standing between them, captioned, “this isn’t Tubbo lol”. Below is a snail drawing captioned, “SORRY I’M A TUBBLING AND I’M SHIT AT ART. LIKE ITS MY FAULT.” under that is a messy drawing of a tree withh teal leaves, and a small drawing of Tubbo’s face. he has a small scar on his jaw and short brown hair with bangs, but otherwise no facial features.

The main drawing is a full body reference, with the lower half of the calves cut off, of Tubbo. he is wearing a green and turquoise hoodie with a dinosaur and some circles on it, and jeans that are covered in dirt. under his hoodie is a simple white t-shirt that looks a little dirty. His hair is the same as the aforementioned doodle, but the scar continues down to his collarbone. There are no facial features. Beside him are swatches of the color palette, mainly brown and green. At the top there’s a quote saying, “Three, Tubbo refuses to tell Tommy where he’s from. (Ch. 1)”. Below that it says “TUBBO” and then has three bullet points: “ignore height i fucking suck at that”, “lower half carries more weight, so more like [drawing of pear-like shape] shape!”, “why does he fucking. look like frisk???” end ID]

[reprisedpiece]

Drop Your Pants

Pairing: Ben Platt x ArtMajor!Reader

Warning: swear words, sexual implications 

Request: “i would DIE if u did an art student reader x ben platt !!!!!!”

Word Count: 1815

Note: THIS STARTED OUT REAL FLUFFY ((and the entire thing is)) but the ending,,,, i just had to, im sorry. who knows i might even make part 2 ;---)  as always, feedbacks are appreciated!

MASTERLIST

Without a doubt, Ben found it absolutely beautiful when he found out you were an art student. He always had a knack for art, never really having the opportunities to talk about it as he didn’t have anyone to share the common interest with.

He admits that dating you entailed a lot of cheesy yet exquisite moments. Not that he was complaining. He always got the same giddy feeling whenever you mindlessly drew landscapes on his forearm, asking him to let you paint portraits on his back, and when he catches that glint in your eyes as you pull out your sketch journal whenever you see something worth drawing. 

Heck, there were even moments where he’d catch you staring at him for nearly an hour and you’d present him with a breathtaking sketch. Even if it was a loose drawing, he’d still find it stunning.

He just absolutely loved how you were able to catch every single beautiful thing in your line of vision and interpret them into something even more beautiful through your pieces.

Whenever the two of you hung out and decided to stay in, he’d always persist that it would be in your place.

Sure, your small apartment was a tad bit messy but it represented your personality quite well. It was colourful, abstract, original, vibrant. Just like you, he thought.

He never forgets to bring flowers to when he visits you. They’re not always in bouquets. Sometimes, he brings you a single flower with a small ribbon tied around its stem and it was enough to make you smile for the entire dy.

You’d put the flower/s in a vase near your other pieces as he looks around, marveling at its beauty. His gaze would switch from the easel, to the untouched canvases and sketch pads, to the paint-stained cloths near the stairwell, then eventually to you. 

He’d always see you either with charcoal markings on the side of your left hand or with a touch of paint across your cheek. You were a masterpiece in Ben’s eyes and he felt privileged to be able to even just watch you.

But of course, he also knew that your relationship would bring out of the ordinary moments.

There would be times where he’d be watching something and you’d suddenly ask him to hold his hand up near the light with a certain pose so you can sketch it. There were also time wherein you’d find him by a window, the light hitting his face just right, and you’d ask him to stay completely still.

Nonetheless, Ben didn’t mind all those things for you. He knew it was for your work. If anything, he found your dedication for your artistry simply fascinating.

Though today might be an exception. 

“Babe, I need you to drop your pants.” You said with no hesitation.

He slowly looked up from the book he was reading when he heard you say those words from across the bed.

“I need to what?”

You blew the piece of hair hanging in front of your face. You had charcoal marking over your hands so you couldn’t exactly move it away. “You heard me. Drop your pants.”

“Uhm,” He started, putting his book down. “ Look Y/N, we just ate. I think we should wait until-”

You quickly felt your cheeks heat up as you started to feel flustered. “Oh my fucking god, Ben! No, I’m not referring to that!” You said quickly, wiping your hands with a piece of cloth before smoothing out your sundress.

You were suppose to eat out that afternoon but the two of you got lazy and just decided to order in. Since then, you haven’t changed.

He simply cocked an eyebrow, smiling at you with amusement. “Okay, so why do you want me to drop my pants?”

“I need a nude model,” You started to explain. “I’m trying to sketch some poses and it would be easier for me to visualize it if someone actually did the poses.” 

Ben just stared at you, still determining if you were actually serious. This was definitely something new. Out of all the things you had him do for you, this had to be the most unconventional yet.

"We’re talking about full-on nude?”

Just like colors, you could be very bold. You simply nodded. “Yeah.”

Ben hesitated but started removing his clothes slowly nonetheless. He started with his shirt and his socks. His actions became slower when he started unbuttoning his jeans. You caught a glimpse of his face. You can tell from his expression that he felt nervous.  

“Oh, c’mon. I’ve seen it all, Ben.” You reassured him, kissing him on the cheek before walking to the sofa where you expected him to pose.

He reluctantly agreed as he began walking to the red sofa that was placed across your easel. He began laying on his, side facing you.

“Paint me like one of your french girls.” He tried lightening up the tension in the room, voice wavering ever-so slightly. He had a nervous grin on his face as you told him which pose to imitate.

You chuckled at his statement. He always said that, even when you asked him to do simple hand poses. You made him put the weight of his head against his hand, laying the other on his stomach. You placed a white sheet over his lower body, your hand accidentally brushing over his groin area.

He shifted, clearing his throat. You shot him a look. “Don’t even think about it.” He pouted at you.

“The things I do for you, I swear.” He mumbled. 

You gave him a smooch on the lips. “I know you love me.” You say with a cheeky smile, walking back to your easel.

“Unfortunately, I do.” He said back, biting his lip as he tried to keep himself from smiling.

“Just so you know, I’m sketching you.” You tell him, peaking your head from behind the easel.

“Yeah, can you make sure that my face is covered?” He asked nervously, trying to ignore the itch forming behind his leg. He knew the drill. When you asked him to pose, he had to stay completely still.

“Or just tweak it a bit so it doesn’t look exactly like me. It would feel weird if I had a nude portrait of me hanging somewhere.” 

You hummed in response. "Sure, babe. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Ben observed you as you sketched, watching as your eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Nearly an hour into sketching, you unconsciously stuck out you tongue a bit as you focused on the shading. He couldn’t help but smile as he admired you.

It was when you couldn't find your eraser when things got, well, hard. So to speak.

Your eyes were still focused on the paper as you blindly fumbled around to your side. You continued patting around, looking for your eraser.

You groaned with annoyance when you still couldn’t find it. You were forced to tear your eyes away from your work.

You stared at the top tier of your organizer. 

“Why the fuck do my erasers keep on disappearing?” You muttered to yourself, scrambling the items in search for the damn eraser. It was the third time you lost it in two weeks.

“Damn it. I hope I still have some left,” You whispered to yourself as you dropped to your knees. You bent down, searching for a spare eraser in the bottom tier of your organizer.

Ben’s breathing hitched. Your dress was short so with you bending down, Ben couldn’t help but stare. His eyes shifted to your ass, catching a glimpse of the black lace underneath your dress.

His gaze lingered as you fidgeted around in search for the eraser. It was taking you an awful lot of time but Ben wasn’t complaining. He took in a sharp breath when the skirt of the dress rode higher.

“Aha! I got it!” You exclaim, sitting back on your calves. You scrambled to get up back on your feet as Ben cleared his throat, quickly straightening his body once more.

You went back to your piece, erasing and fixing the wavy line you accidentally made. When you finished with that area, you glanced at Ben as you started to draw his lower body. Doing so just made you laugh.

"Benjamin Platt!” You fake scolded, stifling a chuckle from slipping past your lips.

He stiffened his pose. “I’m sorry! My back started to ache so I just had to straighten my back.” He quickly defended himself as he though you were referring to his shift in pose.

You were giggling at this point. You couldn’t even form words so you shook your head at him, signalling that you weren’t talking about that.

He gave you a confused look. 

You cleared your throat, simply pointing a little bit to your right. Ben’s eyes followed your finger. He almost immediately realized that you were pointing to his groin area where a small tent was formed.

He felt his face red up a bit, trying to be still as possible. “You were wearing the black lace. You know I couldn’t help it.” He whines.

“So you got a boner in like ten seconds?” You questioned him as you looked at him with amusement.

“Just so you know, you were bent over for over five minutes.” He started defending himself again. “And besides, what can I do? You turn me on.”

You looked back at your sketch before looking back at him. “Though I am flattered, your boner changed the way the cloth falls. It doesn’t match the sketch anymore.” You say with a pout on your face.

Ben smirks. “I mean, there’s really only one way to bring it back to the way it was.” He said expectantly. “And you know, you’re the only one who can help with that.”

You rolled your eyes, giving him a cheeky grin. “Nice try, babe. Unfortunately, the answer is no.” You say, his smirk falling.

“Wait, wha-”

“I’m going to move to another area and I will just skip that part for now,” You say as you pointed to his groin area, giving him a wink. “I’ll let it limp down by itself.”

His jaw nearly hit the ground. “So you’re telling me you’re going to leave me here? With a boner? Flustered and all?” He said slowly.

You nodded with a smile on your face. “Exactly my point.” You reply, going back to your sketch.

“I-” He started, eventually closing his mouth as he didn’t know what to say.

You giggle at his expression. “My apologies but you know art comes first.”

He just nodded slowly, obviously upset as his eyes were set on the floor. 

“Hey,” You called out. He lifted his gaze to your face.

You gave him a smirk. “Rest assured, I’ll make it up to you later.”

| part 2 here |

[ask-jungshook]

how long does it usually take you to finish one artwork/ask??? :o

// Hey there nonny! Lol So I can range from being an average speed artist to a super slow artist, but depending on the style/ how much I need to draw. But it usually can range from several hours to 1 week LOL (Usually for large pieces they can take longer?) For instance, the BTS HP!AU pieces prolly took around a week? (But partially because I screwed up and basically redrew everything to look cleaner) All three parts of the Prologue took a similar amount of time with the exception of Part 3 which took longer due to the sheer length of it. But for more serious pieces, they usually range from 2 weeks- 1 month+ (ex the Jimin ‘Lie’ piece – but I usually work on and off on those so the time is more spread out)

My full process usually goes like this I’ll use some stuff from when I was drawing panels for Prologue Pt. 3 as an example:

Brainstorming a reply: This can take awhile– but some asks are easier to answer than others. I have a google doc with random phrases jotted down for some of them (I usually do this at work on my lunch break LMFAO)

Rough sketch: Basically stick figure city on post-its. This is my postit dump from the Begin!AU series … these probably take like 10 seconds each to draw LOL

 As you see, I had a lot of scraps – this was the majority of  drafts for parts 2 & 3 (I also do this at work during my lunch break LOL) pls pardon my messy desk

Digital sketch: Translation of the post it doodles onto a digital platform– this usually involves more stick figures lol 

Better sketch: This is where I try to clean up my original sketch up a bit so linearting is easier – I usually don’t do a good job at it though …

An attempt at lineart: Usually for chibis and my more anime-esque pieces, it’s not as bad, but semi realism I get really lazy and just wind up painting over my lines which I usually regret because I can’t paint for my life (CASUALLY STARES AT MY UNFINISHED JHOPE PIECE)

Flats & colors: Can range on complexity? If you ever catch my livestreams, you’ll see that I have a shitton of layers (75% of which are probably just test layers lol) But I like to experiment around with colors and stuff. It can often take me awhile to get a good sense of what I want my color scheme to be. And to be honest, I’m still struggling with color theory lol Rendering usually takes the longest because I get frustrated a lot hahah so there’s a lot of going back and re-doing things.

Final Touches: If I wanna do animation, add sparkles, slapping filters on everything lol or whatever.

Here’s an example of a crying Taehyung from Pt 3. (I’m sorry this was like the only panel I found progress shots for LMFAO)

I usually wind up cropping out a lot to hide my mistakes HAHAHA also idk why that picture came out super blurry im sorry lol

But I feel like it also depends on if I’m in a good drawing mood or not haha. I have a lot of off days and sometimes my brain is like OK LETS GO then my hand is just like LOLNO DISSU U CAN’T DRAW TODAY, so I have like those minor setbacks where I lose a day, but I usually try sketching something every day to get a sense if I’m having a good drawing day or not. and pray to the drawing gods  :’D

But since I work full time, I really only have time to draw during the weekends or after work, that and my ‘golden hour’ seems to be like from 1am- 4am so  …  lol as you can see I have an amazing sleep schedule. /weeps howdoyouadult

Long story short though (sorry I kinda got off topic adjfhlda), it really depends on the piece I’m working on, the style I’m drawing in, and how well my initial brainstorm translates into drawing. Because sometimes I have a really good idea in my head, but I can’t draw it out LOL So I have to scrap it and go back to step one @_@ But on the bright side, I’m def learning a lot as I go haha! :’D

[corasanheart]

Not a useless person

Fanfiction based on: Mob Psycho 100

Category: romic and angst

Pairing: Tome Kurata/Tokugawa

                                                                   Chapter 1

“Telepathy club is hereby disbanded”.

Her words echoed in her head again pushing more tears on her cheeks. Tome was passing winter break mostly like this, closed in her house in front of many books left casually open. After her parents went away for a travel in the suggestive sight of snowy mountains, (they do not take her because it was for her best she stayed to study) the house fell in a total silence broken only by her sighs. She was thinking at the time wasted on doing nothing with guys that didnt care about her at all. Tome founded her club with a deep desire, maybe crazy or creepy, but in which she truly wanted to believe. She was glad to share her passion with other people thinking maybe they are interested too. Fool! Who is so fool to believe in aliens? And telepathy too… They were only searching a club where laze around without any specific goal to think about and yeah.. the “telepathy club” seems the better to fit with this. Tome was the only one enjoying this club all this time. And so this is finished leaving her with an empty mind. Three years of any memories. Now at least she had to make up for study. There are so many things she didnt understand yet. Finding an alien maybe its easier…

Tokugawa approached the house and looked closely at the little sheet in his hand. “This is the address. I wonder whose..”. He glanced at the doorbell and read “Kurata”. That rang him a bell but he just couldnt remember where had heard it. He just pushed it and waited. Someone opened the door as fast as closed it. - What the.. what happened?-.      The girl, actually Tome, just shouted -Why are you here?!- “Maybe he knew I was continuing secretly the club” -I’ve already disbanded it if you wanted to know that!- with the voice little broken. Tokugawa remained silent for a moment elaborating -What club?- “She has to be the one from the Fake club” -Aah that club. I’m not here for that. Anyway it occured months ago.. why do you come up with that so suddenly?-. She opened a bit the door and mormored something. Then just said -Enter-.

Tokugawa sat properly on the sofa and released a deep sigh before of starting to explain. Tome just sat quite far from him unsure on what expecting. -I’m here for this-. He put a piece of paper on the little table in front of them. -You, I suppose, left this message on my school desk in which you beg me for help you to study and there is also your address-. Tome blinked her eyes several times before answer: -I didnt do that! And I would never ask for YOUR help-. -Ah..So do you have any idea of who could have done it? I dont know, someone who might thinks you need my help-. Tome startled. -I dont know..- “someone who cares about me?!” -It must be a stupid joke! So I think you can leave now-.                    Tokugawa was watching her carefully in silence.

-What? Are you listening??-.

He just said seriously: -I will help you-. -Whaaat?! I dont need it!-

“She’s got marks under her eyes. She was crying. Is so desperate for the exam?. I cant just ignore it”.  -I dont think so-.

-You are so stubborn, I told you I dont need any help!-

-Tome..-

-Indeed I just cant stand your presence in my house in this moment-

-Tome..-

-And I can manage to study on my own. Ive already all under control-

-Tome..-

-So dont get worried for nothing and..-

She stopped in fear after has noticed tokugawa creepy face.

-Just shut up Tome -

Tome gulped “Maybe I should call the police” but then just mormored an -Ook-. Then she guided Tokugawa to her room. He sweated a bit “Why she invited me to her room so suddenly?! It’s so naive. If I was another guy I would have taken advantage of the situation. Lucky her, im not interested..”. When he entered the room paralyzed. “What on earth..”. Tome’s room was fully painted with a Universe pattern and covered with strange psychedelic posters of unearthly things and some pieces of old newspapers about ufo apparitions. While on the floor there was a mess of colourful packages, some of them containing every sort of snack and others just being garbage. “This is way more shocking of Kamuro’s room”. Tome sat at the desk trying to put some order. Tokugawa came closer behind her.

-Sorry there’s only one chair. Did it bother you?- she said. “Yeah maybe this convinces him to leave”. “She is just too lazy to bring me a chair from the living room” -No Im ok like this. So in what subject do you have more problems?-.

“All of them but I dont want to seem stupid or like I need help” -Im ok with everything like I said, but math..-. -Mm let me see-. He took the math notebook from Tome’s hands. Tome froze. He took a quick look to all her notes and exercises to judge in which seems in more trouble. Then he return the book to Tome.. after using it to hit her head. -Is plenty of nonsensical sketches. Can you just pay attention to the lessons, cant you? Anyway firstly I’ll help you with basic and symple notions and then with exercises-. Tome foreshadowed a huge headache for this.

It seems like Tome wasnt in a desperate situation. She managed to solve several exercises (Tokugawa’s advices on some of them were of help too, she had to admit it). -Now come the difficult one-. Tome remained with a ‘what’ face. Tokugawa wrote down the equation. Tome, trying to regain confidence, started to fill the paper of scribbles that could fit but something stopped her. -No. You cant start like this-. A hand took the pen from Tome. Tokugawa’s chin leaned on Tome’s shoulder while he explained the resolution. Tome looked at his face expecting the usual angry gaze but instead he was too concentrate on what he was doing.   She hadnt never see him like this and not this close to her. He wasnt ugly but for somewhat reason he was extremely pale. That gave him a more vulnerable aspect. Tome blushed a little without caring what he was saying. He suddenly turned around and paused. The creepy face returned. -You’re not listening. Why are you staring?-

She gulped -No,no,no I heard everything. I swear it!-. Tokugawa sighed. “Maybe I shouldnt do much pressure on her. Is she really so desperate only for exams? Anyway she had cried for somewhat reason, it’s normal she is a little distracted”. Tokugawa stood up. -Tome I know you are worried, but you have to pay attention if you want..-.

He stopped and close his eyes. Then fell on Tome’s lap. Tome froze and after a second let out a scream: -Aaaah!What are you doing?!-. He fell on the floor without any reaction. “Oh.. He is not moving. Is he dead!? Is it my fault?? I havent done anything!”. She turned him panicking. “Oh. He is ok. He just passed out”. Tome was tempted to leave him there like this but in the end thought at least to carry him on her bed.

“Hgnn he is pretty heavy” she struggled until finally managed to lay him down. Then came nearer with the chair to look at him. She osserved the Vice president thinking of what could have weakened him to this state. He is the kind of strong and overwhelming guy and it’s just of discouragement to see him like this.

Tome kept to stare at him when noticed something wrong on his face. It was a lock of hair that escaped from his fixed hairstyle. It was so strange. She hasnt, anyone hasnt ever seen him with a single hair out of place. But seeing him like this made Tome feels a bit strange. “Im curious on how he would look like with messy hair”. She, without thinking to much on what she was doing, tryed to get closer to Tokugawa and to place her hand on his hair. But something immediately stopped her.

One hand of the Vice president held her wrist tighly. “Wha-a-t? Is he awaken? He still had his eyes closed though”. Tome felt embarassement on what she has tryed to do and just blushed and stayed still. Suddenly all the force in Tokugawa’s arm faded. It fell on the bed dragging also Tome’s arm that couldnt help but lose balance on the Vice president.

Tome didnt know how to behave instead of remain still and turning all red.

       (the end in the next chapter)

Notes:

it’s my first fanfiction ^-^ im happy ~~

chapter 2 will be posted next week

sorry for my bad english really; Ive checked it several times to not leave big mistakes but surely you still can find some others (a ton of others)

sorry my writing is strange *-* if there’s something incomprehensible you can ask

any comment is accepted

and ideas too

hope you to enjoy this ship

[thanatos-nightshade]

Rant: Long Post

Have i ever told you guys how much i hate coloring? Cause i do i really do. If i could sketch all day i would but those are a messy. Like my ability goes down as i spend more time on it for the most part. And wanna know what i hate? The thing i draw the most is mostly me. Does that make me conceited? I dunno. Like if i draw other things i use refs a lot and if i go to draw something else i dont know what to draw. I love klance but do i draw it thag much? No. I love lance but aside from when ive read fanfics and shit i dont rlly draw him. I love my ocs but i dont draw them that much either but you go through my sketchbooks and theres a bunch of fanart and then theres me. A lot of mes. Different aus different styles clothinfs posings positions little comics you name it. This has been a worry of mine for a while but i dunno. Today its really gotten to me. Like at least other people have ocs all i have are fucking self insert shit. Fuck me man. But back to coloring i did this one piece a while ago for a friend in like 30 minutes and it was pretty simple and pretty easy and i used a color palette for part of it and like boom bam done but now i dunno like. I draw myself so much and my colors are never consistent and i just see so many mistakes right now but i dont want to leave it a mess. Like goddamn alexis the least you could do is clean it up. But like i dunno. I jist dunno about all this any more. And like my traditional drawings look good but digital sucks ass. Im so tired. I fucking hate this i fucking hate me. God damn. Fuck it yall get this rant post. Have fun with it i dont fucking care i just. I think its just a slump just today a bad day im tired sort of thing but i dunno. Im just literally the epitome of cringy and like i dunno. Like i dont care but at the same time i do a tiny bit like ive got no creative juices and im a little angry at that? But at the same time aside from these self insert shits i do i do have ocs like i have voltron ocs who i dont even have names for yet ive got an entire dark hunters/chronicles of nick spin off self insert story sort of thing i fall back on when i want to daydream. Ive got ocs in there too but do i draw them? Do i flesh them out? No. I did a little to one. His last name keeps changing but his names eric. Ugh whatever. I dunno. I might go to sleep early and come back to this over the weekend or never but like. I dunno i just feel so let down this time. I really wanted to draw. I wanted to create something digitally and i was itching to draw something but i pulled up the program and i doodled a chibi keith and part of a lance as a warm up and then dove into this and i lost everything. Something cute and curvy? Nope i cant fucking do that. Youre lucky if everything turns out anatomically correct or proportionate but will it? Nope cause im a lazy mofo who fucking sucks at this. Uuugh i shouldve warmed up more i shouldve tried more things i shouldnt have even attempted to do this but i actually put effort into this galra oc??? Like i dont know! And then now i just pffftttttt nope. Colors? Eh close enough just fucking fuck me. Im sorry. I actually had a good night maybe its just not good for art. Who knows. Maybe i should sleep early. Maybe its the set up. Who knows. Im sorry i just...i dont know. I just really don't know right now. Ill probably work on cleaning this up and then sleep. Maybe use the palette thing for the background and shit. But i should sleep. I hope you just scrolled past this itsnreallt shitty and not a big deal. But if you did read this uhm thank you and im sorry you had to read that. Ill be ok.