#ITS FINALLY SSKK WEEK

[daz4i]

btw with all my posts abt dazai surviving i do think it will take at least a few more chapters until that's revealed. maybe we'll get a continuation of chuuya's storyline but dazai needs to stay dead for a few more chapters for the pacing of the story as a whole (as frustrating as it is for those following it monthly)

[chuuyadelune]

now that i have recovered from the emotional shock of seeing *that* akutagawa scene from chapter 88 animated in HD 4K (i thought i’d have another week to emotionally prepare myself LMAO), i just wanna be a little bit of a nerd and say that i really liked the cinematography/composition this episode.

in particular, i really enjoyed the anime’s decision to draw visual parallels between this fight and previous fights (in particular, the fight against francis, which is important because it is the first time they worked together).

after all, this fight is the culmination of everything they’ve done together. from the combining of their abilities, coming to an understanding with each other, realising the potential of beast-beneath the moonlight-rashoumon… bringing back similar shots that were used in previous fights is SUPER effective at highlighting the parallels and how far they’ve come, in my humble opinion.

here are a few things i noticed:

- first of all, both of them activating their abilities one after another is an explicit nod to S2’s fight;

- the confrontation/conversation in the hallway from S2 (to an extent! they’re on the same sides, which caught my eye);

- akutagawa blowing up the engine room on the ship, and kyouka doing the same during the first fight between him and atsushi (S1);

- and a similar angle being used for black tiger claws / koukko zessou as a nod to the fight in the S3 finale.

the parallels — though maybe less explicit, *are* still there in the manga? like, the entire “structure” of the fight so to speak is very similar to the francis fight in S2 — akutagawa finding atsushi, taking place on a(n air)ship, breaking away from the fight to strategise before confronting the final boss (then, francis, and now, fukuchi) is undeniably a nod to that fight? i love that this is given its due in the anime as well.

another thing about the cinematography this episode i loved was them using the clock as being the indicator of fukuchi’s fuckass space-time sword doing its thing. that was a really nice touch, in my opinion; the cuts in between were jarring and disorienting and really helped put us into sskk’s shoes.

and as for the background design alongside the clock itself — there were a couple of things about them i enjoyed:

- the number of floors / levels of the ship in the back (5, as a nod to the five ways an angel decays, the DOA)

- the blue of the clock is meant to be reminiscent of fukuchi’s sword, i’d argue, with the way both of them pops out of the sunset/orangey-red lighting

- the clock’s design being super ornate and gold plated reminds me a *bit* of a tabernacle (where they keep unused eucharist in a church) — and thus brings up connotations of sacrifice. that white bridge-thing beneath the clock as well reminds me a lot of an altar, too (see the image above the last to see what exactly i’m referring to, because image limit)

okay, yeah, that one might be a bit of a stretch, sure. but its placement as being above them, combined with the two tables/boxes to the left and right of the ship’s bow (which looks very much like a cross, btw) gives it a distinctly religious, altar-kinda feel, i’d argue. and crosses have been used in S4 as symbolism as well!

(tbh, there could even be a bit more imagery i’m missing, because — the angels of the DOA refers specifically to the buddhist conception of an angel. i’m not too familiar with buddhist imagery, but i thought that this was worth pointing out regardless!)

the last thing i want to say is that the red and blue symbolism went CRAZY this episode. i don’t have much else to say because it was super obvious — they even reused the same “black tiger claws” shot from S3, after all — but i do wanna point out that the symbolism even went into the carpets. the fucking carpets.

like, the shift: it’s red when akutagawa’s leading the conversation but changes to blue after atsushi’s suggesting of the submersible as a strategy? i mean, i don’t know if this (or anything i’ve said, to be fair) was intentional or not, but it’s a cool detail anyway!

personally, i enjoyed this episode, the action was great, and all of this too was a really neat addition as well! and now… uh. we wait for the chaos to get worse i suppose !? (laughs nervously)

[ifucknglovebsd]

Current theory for where BSD is going based upon the most recent manga chapter

Spoilers below

Okay so, we don’t have many options for who is going to fight with Fukuchi. For starters our possibilities are lessened by the fact some fighters who could get rid of his ability (Dazai) are not in the area, most of our typical fighters with abilities based on combat (Kunikida, Atsushi etc) are a bit busy at the moment dealing with different things and those with actual combat prowess are down (Fukuzawa, though I hope he’s still alive, more on that later)

So here are our options:

Lucy is able to get into the fight and drags Fukuchi’s ass into Anne’s room. Wham, bam thank you mam, manga over. I have my doubts that she will handle it all on her own like that as it seems a bit anti-climactic for a series that has been practically building up to this fight since Fukuchi has been revealed to be the villain. There is a chance she will come into play with the fight but I don’t think she will handle it on her own like that. There is also the possibility that she could find a way to get the page and keep it safe in her dimension which is an actual possibility.

Then there is the chance that Fukuzawa somehow survived and finds a way to get the page at the very least away from Fukuchi for a bit but considering the state he seemed in it’s not very likely that he would be able to get up and win a fight or even be able to hold himself up for long. Again, not very likely though this does hold some merit to at least Fukuzawa surviving as I believe this would hold more weight to Fukuchi’s actions since he wanted Fukuzawa to see that what he was doing was hopeless (also I just don’t want Fukudad to be dead)

There is also the possibility h that Atsushi will be able to break Akutagawa out of his vampirism and then we have one final sskk fight to end the whole series on that but by the time he is able to break Akutagawa out of it it may already be too late but this seems like the second most likely possibility. So far ever big arc of the story has ended with them so I believe it would be fitting to have the whole story end the same way it always did.

Then we come to my personal thoughts about what is going to happen next.

Tecchou is really the only one that would be willing and able to fight against Fukuchi.

He is the only one who seems like he would be able to recover in time to defeat Fukuchi before any damage can be done by the page (I mean, dude took a fucking grenade to the face and was fine like a week later, I think he’ll be good even after fighting Kenji and taking that much damage) and it has its own symbolism we’ve already seen play out before where the government is tearing itself apart on two sides. It’s the symbolism that I believe would hit the most out of all the fights and would be even better than if SSKK fought him and won. Atsushi is someone who has needed help before so I don’t doubt even now he would need someone to at least hold Fukuchi back for a bit. Plus there is the main idea of this story being that the government is rather bad at dealing with certain events that it has to delve into darkness every once in a while but that there is still that glimmer of real justice and human compassion found within it that will fight until the end to ensure a happy ending for all.

Then there’s also the possibility that Tecchou found Jouno (vampired up), learns that Fukuchi did this and just looses it, more than he did on Kenji. I think this would also be fitting as Tecchou is insanely loyal (from what we see) to the Hunting Dogs so to see him turn against the very thing he holds so much faith in because it failed to protect his (boyfriend) partner who was also a member of that same organization. But his urge to provide real justice overrides his loyalty to his commander and is enough for him to possibly quit service of the government and believe more in the ADA’s innocence.

Tecchou is also insanely strong for a Hunting Dog, possibly even the strongest and his ability actually could hold up rather well against Fukuchi with his ability to change the direction and size of his blade he could possibly catch Fukuchi off guard at some point and land a fatal blow. He could even get some assistance from the other surviving ADA members (Yosano could continuously heal him, Kenji could provide combat support, Kyouka could do the same, if Ranpo recovers he could provide battle tactics etc) but I truly think he is the only one who can do this, at least primarily on his own.

Okay yeah, maybe I do just want to see Tecchou fuck someone up but there is also a bit of a possibility!

[one-tired-nombinary]

Ok so im still processing what happened on this damn chapter… once my brain is done rebooting im gonna spill all of my bets and theories but until then im just gonna suffer in silence

I already wanted june to come by faster so i could play totk once it’s released (my finals are happening on the two weeks during and after the release so ill have to wait until june (ಡ‸ಡ)) but THIS NEW CHAPTER… OH THIS WILL BE MY REASON TO LIVE FROM NOW ON

The finals will go by even slower bc of the waiting/anxiety but it will be Worth It, im fucking completely sure of it

Also the twtt/tumblr theories popping on my tl are NOT helping me with the brainrot, its just adding ethanol to the FIRE thats my mind rn but IM LOVING IT KEEP IT GOING PLS

… i should be studying… but skk and sskk with their gayness is much more important at the moment

[wildflowerteas]

hi hello I'm just here to say WIA RUINED me and then after going crazy and crying I sent it to my friend and it RUINED him. we're both not the same as we were before we read it, and I hope you know that when I say it left me wanting to scream and kick the wall and punch it too is a compliment. it left me with a weird heavy feeling like dread but not? it's weird I don't really know how to explain it. it's one of those fics you will never ever reread because of the pain it put you in but it's engrained in your memory forever and you look back at specific scenes fondly. your writing is so incredibly beautiful it's so hard to describe. it's so... real but also not? like it feels extremely grounded but it's also deeper than that.

when I saw you had started a new fic I was sitting there like "oh god this is gonna be another fic that ruins me isn't it" but because of the.. chuuya being dead thing I will shield myself and refrain from reading it unless I fully break myself via your art. I still couldn't keep myself from reading the first chapter tho aha.... and obviously it's fantastic. all of your writing is fantasticly beautiful and even though I won't be reading it I know it's going to be a beautiful and heartwrenching story, as I already know is your specialty.

awww oh my gosh thank you so much ?? (≧◡≦) ♡ i'm sorry to have caused such emotional distress, but i'm very glad to hear that it was enjoyed, and that it's going to stick with you. wia was always something i planned on writing for myself, given its themes, but knowing that it breached containment and helped make other lives better ( or worse? ) . . . that really, truly means the world. thank you.

ah . . . yeah. as for tsp and the mcd warning. all i'm going to say is that i have a penchant for twisting the meaning of that tag as much as i possibly can, but i'm so so glad to hear that you enjoyed the first chapter anyway <3 that one was such a delight to write, even if i did agonize about it for two weeks with my beta reader before finally posting. getting to jump into this whole new world ( 70s sskk and 50s skk was . . . phew. what a challenge!! ) was a real test of how much i could bend the bsd cast to fit this new setting without it seeming . . . too off.

as for my specialty?? __〆(￣ー￣ ) yea . . . probably. even if tsp is an entirely different kind of au/character study compared to wia, i am definitely falling for my fondness of tragedy. thank you so so much for checking out the art as well?? wow. that means so much. thank you.

<3

[soysaurus]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

i'm quite annoyed. the first time i tried to do this, my laptop decided to update randomly in the middle and i lost everything. i was just about to post, and i was talking quite a bit, i'm not gonna lie. anyway, here we go, take two: electric boogaloo.

stop signs before impact — dabihawks, psycho-pass au

my friend, valya, and i wrote this together. i love this fic, i won't lie. i think the concept is amazing, and i love how i explore touya's declining mental state with every chapter. i love his family and everything he can't quite say. i love his delusions and paranoia, and i love the gruesome detail i get to go into with each crime scene. this is so self-indulgent, and i'm thriving. thanks @valya-azucena for inviting me to collaborate with you.

amongst the stars, we fall — sskk, college au

i was cleaning my bookshelf (read: finally moving all my overflow books from the floor to um. my radiator cover?? bc its been weeks and they've just been...on the floor), and i saw my printed version of this! i miss it a lot. it was one of my first bsd fics, and i loved it. i wrote it in like 2 days at the end of a gift exchange bc i hated what i had thus far, so just restarted. and this was born. i was so stressed LOL love songs — tachigin, music artist au

this isn't published yet, hence no link. but it's been living rent-free in my brain for over a year now, and i'm obsessed. i feel so much with this fic. if i think too hard about the charas, i genuinely start crying. damn, maybe the counsellor was right. i do need therapy... back when we were younger — dabihawks, monster au

also unpublished, also something that i hold very dearly. someone in ctabb was looking for monster au fic recs, but like monster movie-esque. they're the reason i watched cloverfield and it's now one of my favourite films of all time. they're the reason this fic even exists, and one day i will finish it. i'll post this random 50k one shot like i sometimes do, and then i'll read it when i want to cry.

do you want to bleed across the cosmos? — dabihawks, cosmic horror

i love gore and horror, can you tell? this fic marries that and my space hyperfixation. it's creepy, confusing, and dark. honestly, it's exactly what you expect an english and film student to write. and that is five of my favourite fics, not in any particular order but here nonetheless. i've been tired lately, and life has kind of sucked but also it's kinda better. it's weird, lol.

[scriveyner]

chase forever down 30/31

chase forever down | 30/31 | bungou stray dogs | 👿🐯 / sskk | #smarch 🔞| ~1700 words

It was getting late, and Atsushi sat on the edge of the building, kicking his feet off the ledge beneath and eating a sandwich he’d picked up at a local convenience mart. The job had gone late again tonight, which, you know, happened in his line of work and he wasn’t expected home, so he found a nice quiet place to eat where he wouldn’t be disturbed.

Continue on AO3 or:

It was nice, to just sit here and look over the city at dusk. Home. Yosano had invited him along for drinks with her and Ranpo and Kunikida, but he’d declined. Everyone had been fussing over him like a worried hen for the past few weeks, even without knowing the true cause of his absence, and while it was amazing to be so appreciated, he needed a bit of a break.

Atsushi tilted his head at the soft hush of ruffled clothing, and then he smiled faintly, having sensed his presence a few blocks off. “I thought you weren’t going to be home until Monday,” he said, as Akutagawa hopped up on the ledge beside him before very casually dropping into a seated position as well. “If you had texted, I would’ve come straight home.”

Akutagawa let out a long, exhausted exhale and tilted his head. Atsushi looked over at him; Akutagawa was dressed as he often was, in that tattered overcoat and his favorite cravat. He caught Atsushi’s eye and chuckled softly. “Just released,” he said, putting his legs out straight for a moment before dangling them over the side, the same as Atsushi’s. “We’ve been back in town since earlier in the day, but Chuuya finally chased everyone out of the office. Said he had important things to do.”

“Funny that, Dazai-san cut out of work early today, said he had important shit to get done.”

Their eyes met again, and they both smiled. Atsushi finished off his sandwich in a few swallows, wiping his hand over his mouth and realizing after he’d already finished that he really should have at least offered a bite. He leaned on his hand, cheeks flushing, and Akutagawa’s hand crept over to his, entwining their fingers as they looked out over the twilight city.

The breeze up here was chilly, catching on Atsushi’s hair and tousling it. Autumn was fast on its heels, chasing out the heat of the long summer. He sighed and looked over at Akutagawa again, catching the way he was being watched out of the corner of his eye. “Hungry?” Atsushi asked, teasing, and Akutagawa’s eyes glimmered a familiar red.

“For you? Always.” Akutagawa turned Atsushi’s hand over, rubbing his thumb over his wrist—but Atsushi stopped him, loosening his tie with his other hand. Akutagawa’s eyebrows lifted as Atsushi pulled open the collar of his shirt, but he clearly wasn’t about to say no to such a direct invitation.

Akutagawa kissed Atsushi’s neck, finding the spot where his pulse beat hottest and sinking his fangs directly into the vein. Atsushi’s mouth opened slightly, and he pushed his fingers through Akutagawa’s hair, curling at the base of his skull and holding tight.

Familiar warmth spread through his veins, leaving his limbs tingling; and Atsushi didn’t even object to being manhandled. He let Akutagawa drag him about like a ragdoll, pulling him off his seat on the ledge and down onto the roof proper. Atsushi’s head hit the pitch and he arched his back as Akutagawa climbed up his body, sinking his fangs into Atsushi’s neck again, this time on the other side.

“Missed you,” Akutagawa said into his skin, kissing around where he drew blood, licking clean from Atsushi’s skin anything that escaped. “I thought about you every time I closed my eyes, weretiger.” He pushed his palm over Atsushi’s pants, looking for the bulge he knew he’d find. “I thought about you touching yourself in my bed, alone…”

“Our bed,” Atsushi murmured, one hand thrown over his eyes, blocking out the large, luminous moon overhead. He arched again as Akutagawa slid his hand into Atsushi’s pants finally. “Ah, Ryuunosuke—”

There was something about it like this; under the cold, unforgiving light of the moon; Akutagawa’s hand wrapped around him and stroked slowly. Atsushi got his hands in Akutagawa’s coat, pulling himself up, slightly dizzy from the blood loss. Akutagawa wet his lips and kissed him.

Atsushi hissed against his mouth, Akutagawa’s thumb pressing over the head of his cock, thumbnail digging into the slit. “Our agreement,” Atsushi groaned, because they’d discussed this, the sex in places they could be discovered thing, but that only worked if Akutagawa could manage to keep his hands out of Atsushi’s pants for ten consecutive minutes.

Akutagawa’s eyes were still red, as stark and bright as the blood gathered in the corners of his mouth. “I need to see you climax in the moonlight,” he murmured, and Atsushi moaned, then stifled the next one with the back of his hand. “Then,” he added idly, dancing his other fingers over the v of skin exposed by Atsushi’s open pants, “we shall adjourn to the nearest hotel and you will fuck me so thoroughly I’ll have trouble walking home in the morning.”

Atsushi’s knees were trying to come together, and he held on tight to the front lapel of Akutagawa’s coat. “Deal,” he hissed, and the smirk grew on Akutagawa’s face as he began to stroke Atsushi with more force, fingers tight around his length. It didn’t take long, it never did with Akutagawa’s venom in his veins, and Atsushi’s head went back, gasping, as he found the edge and tilted right over.

Rashomon, smoothly, rippled from Akutagawa’s coat. The small dragon head wrapped around the head of Atsushi’s cock and contained the mess with instant ease. Atsushi let loose a full-body shudder, both palms pressed to his eyes, and Akutagawa gently tugged one away so they could make eye contact.

“So much better than when I do it myself,” Atsushi muttered. “Alone, in our bed.”

Akutagawa snorted a laugh and leaned in to kiss him.

=====

“Ah, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai said, looking entirely too bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a Thursday morning, “you look like you had a busy night!”

Atsushi lifted his head from his desk and looked over at Dazai, scrolling through a long list of inappropriate responses and selecting one before he truly thought it through. “Dazai-san, are you the ‘important thing’ or are you the ‘to do?’”

Dazai blinked.

Atsushi sat up and stretched his arms over his head, and then stifled a yawn with the back of his hand. His shirt was a little wrinkled today, but he didn’t think it was particularly noticeable as he’d come in to work far more ragged than this, at least. Still, he hadn’t intended to come to work straight from the hotel, shower or not.

Akutagawa joining him in the shower, arms over Atsushi’s shoulders as they kissed under the unending stream of hot water…

Atsushi put his chin in his hand and smiled goofily, staring off into the distance.

Kyouka had left a little while earlier, with Koro-chan on a leash, and Kunikida was standing at Ranpo’s desk, hands on his hips and back to them as he discussed something. Dazai leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head, eyes closed; with a peculiar note to his voice said, “Atsushi-kun, you should handle the rest of my paperwork today.”

The words seemed to weigh more, but all the same, they rolled off Atsushi like anything else Dazai said. Atsushi tilted his head, recognized the resonance in his voice, and shook his head. “Sorry, Dazai-san. I have plenty of work to handle today, I think you can take care of your own filing.”

Dazai’s eyes opened.

He looked over at Atsushi, who had finally opened his laptop to boot it up; and then he leaned over and said in a much lower tone of voice, “I thought I told you not to swallow any, Atsushi-kun.”

Atsushi, eyes on his laptop, said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dazai-san.”

=====

Akutagawa was lying on the couch in his dress-down clothes and watching the show he’d gotten invested in but wouldn’t admit to under pain of death when Atsushi got home. Atsushi snickered to himself in amusement when he heard the channel quickly change as he took his shoes off. “Few days off, then?” he asked as he walked into the main room.

“Vampire hunters in town again, apparently.” Akutagawa lifted his feet to allow Atsushi space to sit on the couch and then draped his legs over Atsushi’s lap. “I feel that I am being lied to in order to keep me out of something.”

“Chuuya-san is usually pretty direct with you though, right?” Atsushi scratched his nose. “It’s not like you have a history of going rogue for no reason, or anything. Ow.” Akutagawa lifted his heel and dropped it into Atsushi’s thigh again. “Maybe there are really vampire hunters sniffing around, it’s not like I have my ear to the ground about things like that.”

Akutagawa grunted in response. “Dazai-san would know.”

“Like Dazai-san will tell me anything. If there are vampire hunters around, he’d probably trick us into raiding their hide-out and taking care of it, like that wouldn’t bring in a ton more chasing glory to avenge their fellows.” Akutagawa grunted again but didn’t dig his heel into Atsushi’s thigh. “I did run across that other vampire while you were gone, Martin-san. He didn’t mention anything about vampire hunters, either.”

Akutagawa lifted his head. “You saw the other vampire?”

“Yeah, ran into him while Kyouka-chan and I were walking the dog. It was…weird. He’s a bit strange, don’t you think?”

Akutagawa frowned, dropped his head back down to the armrest, and folded his arms. “I don’t like that. You’re mine.” He didn’t even flinch when Atsushi smacked the sole of his foot. “Stay away from other vampires.”

“Yes, my ever-jealous master,” Atsushi said dutifully, rolling his eyes. He tilted his head and avoided the single Rashomon tendril that flung at his head, smacking into the back of the couch and not even penetrating the cushion. Atsushi patted Akutagawa’s legs in his lap. “You’re the only creature of the night for me.”

He yelped when Akutagawa sat up enough to grab him by his tie, yanking him down so that he flopped, sidelong, over Akutagawa’s chest. He thumped his head into Akutagawa’s shoulder as his arms wrapped tight around Atsushi. “Mine,” Akutagawa rumbled possessively, and Atsushi wriggled his arms free so that he could wrap them around Akutagawa as well.

“Yours,” he said into the loose fabric of Akutagawa’s shirt and closed his eyes, content.

<< Chapter 29 | Start | Chapter 31 >>

[multi-mused-menagerie]

Minor Updates:

     So, good news: I’m not dead! As of today, I finished 2 of my 3 finals and am now free for the rest of this week and next! But before I do anything, I have a few announcements to make!

    1. I’ve officially made a priority list for my muses ! It’s on my muses tab under “ Availability ”. I recommend checking out that list to see which muses I’ll be using more frequently than others so that you can get an idea of when to expect replies to certain threads.

    2. Speaking of threads, I’ve recently gone through and handpicked a few threads I will be continuing. The ones I am continuing are:

“what happened to your eyebrows ? what happened to your eyes ?” ( @somegremlin​​ )

“fuck you mori my kid now - donald” ( @somegremlin​​ )

“its been 0 days since sskk has fought” ( @archiiviis​​ )

“chuuya fights a nasty dragon” ( @archiiviis​​ )

“sara attempts to befriend a dandelion” ( @galaxythixf​​ )

“top 10 reasons why you don’t let yourself be summoned” ( @implexaanima​ )

    3. If you don’t see a thread that you wanna continue on here, just shoot me a dm and we can discuss!

    4. I’ll be working on hc/backstory posts for my muses and their profiles as well, so please be patient with me while I get all of that sorted out

    5. ALSO YES. I ADDED AKUTAGAWA AS A MUSE. FIGHT ME.

    Alright, with that, I head to bed. Night gamers!

[manako-no-yami]

when your soulmate has too much health insurance

Rating: T Relationship(s): DazAtsu, a bit of sskk Tags: Hospitals, Soulmates, Fluff and Humor, Nursing Student!Atsushi, Dazai-Typical Suicide References Summary:

Atsushi, nursing student at the Yokohama hospital, is having a bad day. A bad few days, actually. In a world where soulmates share each other’s pain, Atsushi has had the bad luck of being paired with someone who is constantly getting hurt. On top of that, he has to deal with one particularly annoying patient—who seems determined to come back to see him at every chance he gets.

for day 8 of @dazaimultishipweek2019​!

-

Atsushi is having a bad day. His side aches like a bitch, he has a headache, he’s barely slept in three days, and all he wants to do is lie down and maybe illegally administer himself some morphine.

He shifts, and his side gives him a sympathy twinge. He sighs.

I wonder if you’re having a bad day, too, he thinks to himself. And why on earth do you keep getting hurt?

Maybe it’s illogical to worry about someone you’ve never met, but, well. Soulmates defy logic, anyway.

Imagine this: the universe gives you one clue to who your “other half” is, and that clue is—of all things—pain . There’s probably some message there about people being brought together over shared suffering, but, well, if that’s so, Atsushi isn’t sure if he wants to know what the universe thinks of humanity.

So he deals with phantom aches and pains that he receives from his soulmate, tries his best not to get hurt himself, and studies hard to get a job in the medical field.

(Maybe it’s illogical. Maybe it’s just the universe’s fucked up sense of irony. But Atsushi can’t help but worry, sometimes, about how often his soulmate seems to get hurt.

And if that’s one of the reasons why he decided to go into medicine, well…who’s going to know?)

“Atsushi!” Yosano-sensei calls. Atsushi quickly stands up from his seat by the nurse’s station, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the drowsiness.

“Yes, sensei?”

“Attend to the patient in room 107.”

Atsushi tilts his head in confusion. He’d been so sure he’d covered all the rooms assigned to him…

He nods, anyway, giving the doctor a quick bow as he passes.

He stops by the door, and gives himself a quick pat down—his scrubs are a bit wrinkled, but they’ll do (they’re dark blue with a repeating pattern of little white tigers running all over it—a welcoming gift from the team when he first started here as a nursing student). Finally, he slaps his cheeks lightly, puts on his best customer service smile—bedside manner is important, after all—and opens the door.

“Hello! How are you doing tod—oh it’s you again.”

The man sitting on the hospital bed gives him a cheerful wave.

Dazai Osamu. Also known as: the hospital’s most frequent client and visitor, a nightmare for insurance, chronic malingerer, professional pain in the ass, and the most annoying patient Atsushi has ever had the misfortune to tend to.

“Atsushi-kun!” Dazai calls out delightedly. “Looking well today, I see.”

Atsushi is quite sure he looks like absolute crap, actually.

“Thanks. So are you. Which begs the question: what are you here for this time?”

Dazai holds up a bandaged arm, and points at it emphatically with a dramatic pout.

Atsushi blinks.

Dazai is always covered in bandages. Just what is he supposed to be looking at?

“Would you believe it? I left the window by the kitchen open, and a stray cat came in! I tried to pet it, but then it scratched me and knocked over the pot that was cooking.”

Atsushi frowns.

“Is the cat okay?”

“Is the—yes, the cat’s okay. But aren’t you worried about me, Atsushi-kun? I am bedridden from this terrible disaster!”

Atsushi hugs his clipboard close, narrowing his eyes at Dazai.

“Dazai-san, with all due respect, this is the fifth time you’ve come in this week, and none of it was for a legitimate reason. I’m surprised they keep letting you occupy beds at this rate.”

And why does Yosano-sensei keep asking me to tend to you? Since when did I become Dazai-san’s designated caretaker??

Dazai gasps. “I’m wounded!”

Atsushi rolls his eyes. “If only. How bad is the burn?”

Dazai shrugs. “I’m not quite sure.”

There’s a pause. Atsushi squints at him again, edging nearer to inspect Dazai more closely. Bandages don’t quite look fresh, so they haven’t been newly dressed, no pinkish or reddish skin, no visible discomfort from chafing...

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi pinches his nose. “Did the pot or its contents actually hit you when it was knocked over?”

Dazai flashes him an absolutely cherubic smile.

“Are you hoping for some grave injury to befall me so you can keep me to yourself longer? How sly of you. Why, Atsushi-kun, if you wanted to spend time with me, you could’ve just said so! By the way, I’m free Friday after five.”

Ah, yes. In addition to being a total pain in the ass, Dazai is also resident hottie and fuckboi. All the nurses like to moon over him, and he’s definitely aware of it. His looks? Sublime. His attitude? Atrocious. His favorite pastime? Teasing Atsushi.

Atsushi sighs. He knows from experience that there’s not much he can do to get Dazai to leave faster—he’ll either cause a dramatic and embarrassing (for Atsushi) scene, or he’ll find a way to get injured and come back before the day is over.

Atsushi’s learned to just ignore him.

It’s not like he’s serious about any of his advances, anyway, he thinks to himself.

“That’s a no, then. I’ll never understand how you even manage to weasel your way into this part of the hospital, Dazai-san.” Atsushi gives him a judging look, hands on his hips, but relents. A job is a job, after all, and Yosano-sensei asked him to attend to the patient in this room, so that’s what he’ll do.

“Is there anything you need, Dazai-san?”

“Coffee, please.”

“The usual?”

“If you could, thank you.”

Just as Atsushi is about to turn and head out the door, he notices something. He leans in, hand reaching up to gently turn Dazai’s jaw to the side. Dazai follows obediently, compliant under gentle fingers, tilting his head when Atsushi pokes his cheek. Atsushi’s eyebrows furrow even further.

Is that blood , dripping from his hairline?

“Dazai-san.” Atsushi straightens. Before he can pull away, Dazai grabs the hand that had been on his cheek with both of his, tugging him back in.

“Yes, Atsushi-kun? What is it?” His eyes sparkle. “Don’t tell me! You can’t bear to leave me alone like this! It hurts you just to see me lying here—”

“ Dazai-san. Do you have a head injury?”

Dazai lets go momentarily to scratch his head, then pulls his hand away to look at the blood that collected under his nails, and blinks.

Atsushi’s headache intensifies.

“Why, it seems I do! Atsushi-kun! How did you know?” He gasps. “Could it be, that we’re connected? Like soulma—”

Atsushi tugs his hand away and is out the door before Dazai can finish, calling out for a doctor.

 -

After the initial panic over Dazai’s now-treated head wound (God knows how long he sported it without noticing ), Atsushi finally manages to find a moment to sit down. And of course, the moment he sits down, he’s called to go check on another patient.

He pauses outside of the door of room 111 and takes a deep breath.

“Hello! How are you tod—” Atsushi gulps.

The man in the bed is glaring balefully at him, as though he’d personally murdered his dog.

“Do you often ask your patients that?”

Atsushi quails under the icy scrutiny, and peeks at the charts in his hands.

Name: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. With a slew of chronic respiratory problems, he’s just been released from OR after being treated for...a gunshot wound??

“I am in a hospital,” Akutagawa continues. “I was shot. My subordinates didn’t follow my orders. I am apparently being treated by an idiot. I am doing terribly today. Must you ask?”

Atsushi shrinks back.

“M-My apologies...Akutagawa-san.”

“Tch.”

Atsushi felt the disdain behind the force of that ‘tch’ down in his very bones.

“W-When did you sustain your injury?”

Atsushi barely holds back a squeak of fear when Akutagawa pins him with another glare.

“Early this morning, at around three am.”

Huh. That’s weird, that’s around the time Atsushi had woken up, gasping at the sharp eruption of pain in his side. He hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep for the rest of the night, unable to ignore it nor the worry for his soulmate.

...Could it be?

Atsushi gulps.

How...how does he confirm it, though?

“You...you wouldn’t also happen to have a headache, right now, would you?”

“I’m looking at one right now,” Akutagawa spits, staring him right in the eye. Atsushi winces.

Right. Hospital patient. Having a terrible day. A headache is a given under those circumstances, right? Besides, maybe the headache is caused by Atsushi, from acute sleep deprivation. If that’s true, he definitely doesn’t want Akutagawa to know that he’s the reason. If they are...soulmates.

But he can’t bring himself to leave it alone. If this man is his soulmate...he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t find out, and let him go.

“May...May I see your injury?”

Akutagawa is silent. Then with a sigh, he shifts and lifts the blanket, gesturing towards his lower left side.

Exactly the area near where Atsushi’s soulmate pain originates from. What are the chances of two people getting hurt in the exact same area at almost the exact same time?

 Atsushi walks forward, and lifts his hand—only to realize, he’d have to lift Akutagawa’s hospital gown to look at it. Lift it...above the hips. When he may or may not be wearing anything underneath it.

His hands shake. Akutagawa continues to stare balefully at him.

Oh no, he thinks to himself. Oh no.

“I just—”

Atsushi steps away, and decides to just go for it.

“It’s just that I...I um. I’ve been having a sharp pain near that area as well...since early this morning. As well. Like you. I have it. Too. So. I thought. Ah…”

“You think you could be my soulmate.” Akutagawa deadpans.

Atsushi nearly bursts into flame right then and there.

“R-right, well, yes. Yes—that. That’s what I thought. Too.”   

Akutagawa gives him a quick once-over, clear disgust taking over his features.

“Well?”

Atsushi gapes.

“Well, I mean, we could—we could be—!!”

“Soulmates, yes, we’ve established that. What do you want to do about it?”

“Well, I...When people first meet their soulmates, they…”

What do people do when they meet their soulmates?

“They...they go on a date?”

The silence that follows is deafening. Akutagawa looks like he’d rather murder small children than go on a date with Atsushi. Well, actually, he looks like murdering small children would be like a walk in the park for him. He looks like Atsushi had just asked him to cook him dinner and massage his feet, or do whatever else it is that normal, healthy people do instead of murdering small children.

Finally, Akutagawa sighs, and coughs into his hand.

“All right.”

“Wait, really?”

“Must I repeat myself? Yes, really.”

“Okay!” Atsushi flashes him a quick smile, immediately brightening. Finally, they were getting somewhere! “Where would you like to go?”

Akutagawa looks pointedly down at his body, where it lies on the hospital bed.

Oh. Right.

Gunshot wound. Hospital stay.

“We can...wait until you’re discharged?”

“No. Let’s get this over with.”

Well, that doesn’t leave them with many options.

“Oh...well. I can take my break soon. And I guess we could...go down...to the cafeteria? Grab some coffee?”

Akutagawa closes his eyes and sighs.

“Fine.”

“Great!”

 -

Atsushi closes the door behind him, and heaves a sigh of relief.

“Ah, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai greets. Atsushi jumps, hand flying to his chest.

“Dazai-san! Don’t scare me like that.”

Dazai leans against the wall by room 111, fresh bandages wrapped around his head, covering his right eye.

“I just wanted to see you,” Dazai says.

“Well,” Atsushi gestures to himself, “now you’ve seen me.”

Dazai tilts his head until it rests on the wall.

“And you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Dazai responds with a grin. “Or eye, in this case.”

Atsushi sighs, and elects to ignore his comment.

“Have you been discharged? Or are you staying overnight for monitoring?”

Dazai gives him a wink. (It doesn’t work. Only one eye is visible.)

“I’ll be staying overnight in case of further complications. You have another shift tomorrow, right, Atsushi-kun?”

“Dazai-san...how did you know that.”

Dazai perks up at that.

“We’ll be seeing each other again, then!” He seems very happy with this conclusion.

Atsushi sighs.

“So? What are you doing here?”

“Ah, I was looking for the toilet!”

...Suspicious.

“I’d think you’ve been here enough times to know where the toilet is, Dazai-san. It’s in the opposite direction, down that hallway over there.”

Dazai crosses his arms in front of his chest, hunching over, as though feeling...self-conscious?

“Ah, you got me. I was actually looking for you because I wanted to ask you a question.”

Atsushi is caught a bit off guard. No “Ah, but your blinding brilliance must have made me stray off my course!” or “But how could I remember something as mundane as where the toilet is when my mind is filled with only the beautiful color of your eyes?” or some other ridiculous, Dazai-typical statement?

Atsushi eyes him warily.

“Oh. What is it?”

“Your break is soon, right?”

“...Yes? How did you—”

“Would you,” Dazai steps closer, so that there’s only a few inches of space between them, “like to come with me somewhere?”

Atsushi hesitates, feeling uncomfortable, and shrinks back.

“Dazai-san...don’t you think this joke has gone on long enough?”

A beat of silence.

“What joke, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi’s heart thuds.

What a good liar, he thinks. He almost seems sincere.

“W-Well, either way, I already have plans. Sorry.”

Dazai studies him for a moment before his eyes flick to the door behind him. An unreadable expression crosses his face.

He takes a step back. Something in Atsushi clenches as the space between them widens.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Dazai says agreeably. “Rain check?”

Atsushi bites his lip. Dazai’s eyes flicker down to watch.

Really, Atsushi thinks to himself, this man is too good-looking for his own good.

“...You should really get going, Dazai-san. It’s not good to linger in the halls, especially when there may still be complications with your head wound.”

Dazai almost looks disappointed.

“Well then. See you, Atsushi-kun!”

“Bye.”

Atsushi lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. With yet another sigh, he heads back to the nurse’s station.

 -

“So…” Atsushi begins, as he pushes Akutagawa’s wheelchair down the corridor.

It’s time.

Atsushi’s on his break, and he’s pushing Akutagawa in a wheelchair. They’re on a ‘date’.

A date to the shitty hospital cafeteria, to get the same kind of shitty hospital coffee he could make at the machines by the nurses station, but a date nevertheless.

The elevator door dings behind them and slides closed.

Silence reigns supreme.

Atsushi gulps, and tries again.

“So...how’d you get shot?”

Akutagawa doesn’t even look at him in acknowledgement.

Atsushi winces. Sore topic, maybe?

Stupid! Of course he doesn’t want to talk about how he got shot, what kind of opening line is that?

Atsushi continues to sweat as the silence stretches onwards. What do people talk about on dates again? Oh yeah, that’s right, he’s never been on one , so he has no idea. Who does he know that might be good at this?

Immediately, Dazai’s face flashes in mind, and he flushes.

No. Nope. Don’t think about it, Atsushi.

Dazai’s method of flirting definitely won’t work if Atsushi tried it. In the first place, it only works because Dazai has the advantage of being ridiculously attractive.

Why couldn’t the elevator go faster? Why couldn’t it just drop them to their imminent deaths? Why must he suffer like this?

The elevator dings on the ground floor, and Atsushi takes a right towards the cafeteria.

They find an empty table to sit at.

They sit.

...and continue to sit.

Atsushi could die from the sheer awkwardness of this encounter. Never in his life has he been more uncomfortable. What’s more, Akutagawa looks like he couldn’t give a damn, content with continuing to attempt homicide through his eyes alone.

“WellthenI’llgogetsomecoffeehahaI’llbebackbye!”

He makes his escape as quickly as possible, spends as much time dawdling by the coffee machines as possible, and drags his feet the entire way back.

Is this some kind of joke? He asks the universe. This is the furthest thing from a perfect match I’ve ever seen.

He dreads going back, but eventually he catches sight of Akutagawa again, and sits down in his seat, passing the drink back over to him.

Akutagawa takes a sip.

“It’s cold.”

“Oh, well...yes.”

“And sweet.”

“...would you like me to grab you another?”

Please say yes.

Anything to escape this sheer discomfort.

Akutagawa doesn’t reply, and just continues to sip at his coffee with a frown.

“Why would you make a cold coffee?”

“Ah, that’s…”

Atsushi flushes in abject horror.

That would be...because of Dazai.

Without realizing it, he’d instinctively gotten Dazai’s usual order. Cold coffee, but with no ice. Extra milk, and double the sugar. Decaf.

For himself, he’d gotten a regular old medium roast straight from the machine.

Gosh, what had he been thinking? He should’ve asked Akutagawa what he wanted, but he’d been in such a hurry to leave… A part of him must’ve just, instinctively…

“...Sorry,” he finishes lamely.

Akutagawa just closes his eyes and crosses his arms, as though he’d already accepted that Atsushi is a total idiot, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Atsushi squeezes his hands together, his nerves skyrocketing as the silence stretches.

Something to talk about...something...anything…

“Ah, what do you do for a living, Akutagawa-san?”

Akutagawa snaps his eyes open and stares at him with a startlingly intense look.

“Why do you want to know?”

Atsushi pales. Another sore topic?

“Ah,” he flounders, “I’m sure that whatever it is, it must be more exciting than my job, haha! Not that working at a hospital is boring, of course, and not that I don’t like my job, I love my job! Even though the hours on top of school is a lot and I’m always tired and I don’t sleep well because my soulm—” He gulps.

“—ah, but that’s not interesting! I’m sure you’d like to hear about something else, something interesting, uhm, like, uh…”

Akutagawa, if anything, looks increasingly unimpressed.

“...Did you know that we have a regular?”

Akutagawa’s face finally changes from complete boredom to something like resignation.

“A...regular?”

“It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Because it is! We have a regular!” Immediately, Atsushi gets fired up, seizing upon the easy topic of conversation.

“A regular patient who comes in every other day, whining about some minor injury or another, while completely neglecting to mention the important things!”

Akutagawa raises an eyebrow, and slurps his coffee.

“Furthermore, he keeps tormenting me, and I don’t know why! It’s like he specifically has it out for me and for whatever reason, I’m always assigned to his room! If I didn’t know better I’d think Yosano-sensei and he were in cahoots!” Atsushi slowly grows more and more heated, gesticulating with his hands as he rants on and on.

“You know, just this morning he came in for a fake injury and then neglected to mention he had a head wound ? Last week he came in for a ‘terrible chest pain’—which was also fake, by the way—while walking around on a twisted ankle! And he told no one! All he said was ‘Oh, Atsushi-kun, this pain must be from my broken heart, please, only you and your gentle radiance can possibly cure me!’ Everyone laughed at me! He’s infuriating ! And did I mention that he targets me especially? Because he does! He keeps making fun of me, and thinks I don’t know what he’s doing! I swear, the guy is an annoyance and a complete waste of all of our time. The next time Yosano-sensei asks me to attend to Dazai-san I’m going to say—”  

Akutagawa stands abruptly, nearly knocking his coffee over, and then doubles over, clutching his side.

“Akutagawa-san?! Akutagawa-san, what are you doing?! You can’t be getting out of your wheelchair—it’s dangerous! Sit back down!”

Atsushi rushes over to press him back into the chair.

“ You. ”

Atsushi freezes at the pure vehemence in his voice.

“You...you just said… ‘Dazai-san’, didn’t you.”

“I...yes. Do you...know him?”

Oh god, does Akutagawa have some kind of grudge against Dazai? Atsushi wouldn’t put it past Dazai to have gained a number of mortal enemies, given how infuriating he can be.

“You...just said Dazai-san is an annoyance and a complete waste of time .”

A prickle of shame makes its way down Atsushi’s arms. His cheeks must be in flame right now, and he has the urge to look around and hide.

Akutagawa growls.

“You. You know— nothing . Nothing about Dazai-san—about— ”

He doubles over, coughing.

“Akutagawa-san! Please, calm down, this isn’t good for your hea—”

Akutagawa slaps Atsushi’s hand away.

“Dazai-san...Dazai-san is…”

He never finishes his sentence, but the look of desperation that comes into his eyes is answer enough. He pants, wincing and gripping his side.

“Dazai-san is a thousand times more than whatever you could hope to be in your entire lifetime. He is—Dazai-san is—You know nothing .” Akutagawa repeats.

...That’s true, isn’t it.

Atsushi...what does he really know about Dazai?

Nothing.

“You—you have what I would kill for. What I would die for. And you’re throwing it away? Treating it like trash? Calling it an annoyance and a complete waste of time ?”

That... had been rather harsh, hadn’t it? But—but after all the teasing he’s had to endure because of Dazai-san—after all the beatings his self-esteem has gone through, knowing that Dazai-san couldn’t possibly be serious—after everything—    

“I—”

He has no words to say.

The cruel one isn’t Atsushi. It’s Dazai, for knowing what effect he has on people, and using it to make fun of weak people like Atsushi.

Right?

Akutagawa scoffs.

“We’re done here.”

Atsushi gapes.

“W-wait, but…”

“My soulmate would never speak such a way about Dazai-san. We’re done here. Take me back to my room.”

 -

After the disastrous date, Atsushi is back at the nurse’s station, when Yosano-sensei calls upon him again.

"Atsushi," Yosano says. "Room 107."

Atsushi knows who's in that room. He gulps.

When he pushes open the door, Dazai is looking out the window, unusually quiet.

"Atsushi-kun," he says. Strangely enough, Dazai doesn’t look over at him. He seems...subdued.

"...Dazai-san." He nearly chokes on the name, the syllables like ash in his mouth, his guts roiling with nerves. He feels irrationally paranoid, like Dazai could take one look at him and know about all the bad things he’d said about him in a fit of nerves and frustration. The conversation with Akutagawa ricochets inside his head.

You know nothing.

Dazai-san is a thousand times more than whatever you could hope to become in your entire lifetime.

"Have you come to relieve me of this tiresome, banal world?” Dazai finally turns to look at him through his one eye. Atsushi, inexplicably, feels a shiver run down his back.

He hands him a cup of water, in lieu of a reply.

“No coffee this time?”

“Water is good for you.” Atsushi doesn’t really want to make more coffee right now.

Atsushi hesitates, hovering. Dazai isn’t acting like he normally does and Atsushi finds that he...misses it. He doesn’t know what to do with this strange, quiet Dazai. Without him to fill the silence, Atsushi feels as though something heavy were weighing him down. Like something’s missing. He fidgets a bit more, then bites his lip.

But does he have the right to ask, when he so clearly knows nothing about Dazai? When he’d bad-mouthed him less than an hour earlier? When he’s just a random nobody in Dazai’s life?

He’s just a nursing student at the hospital Dazai frequents. Just a bystander that Dazai sometimes gives attention to out of amusement. What right does he have to ask him what’s wrong?

And yet, despite all that, he finds himself opening his mouth to speak.

“Dazai-san...what do you do for a living?”

Dazai looks up in surprise.

“I work as a private detective,” he answers with a smile.

“A private detective, huh… Well that explains the number of injuries, I guess,” Atsushi says with a small laugh, scratching his cheek.

Dazai leans his cheek upon his hand and gazes at Atsushi through his bangs.

“What’s with this sudden interest in my life, Atsushi-kun? Wondering if I’m single? Want to know about my past lovers?”

Atsushi rolls his eyes and resists the urge to smack him with his clipboard.

“No just...wondering.”

“Wondering…what?” Dazai leans forward eagerly, eyes twinkling.

Atsushi knows he's flirting again. His first instinct is to recoil and blow him off, but Akutagawa's words float into his mind.

He thinks about everything that Dazai has said and done to him, about the weeks and weeks of taking care of him and putting up with his wild antics...and realizes something.

“Wondering...why you almost never have any visitors.”

The only visitor Atsushi has ever seen is an angry, blond, be-spectacled man who, judging from his yelling, is a coworker. But even he is a rare sighting. Most of the time Dazai comes and goes, with no one but Atsushi and the other nurses and doctors to notice his passing through.

Atsushi had always assumed it had just been because Dazai gets injured so often that people have stopped coming by to check on him but...even that is sad.

“Ah,” Dazai puts on a cheerful facade, but his tone is bland. “Well, I do have an adoptive father, but we’re not on speaking terms.”

...Is that all?

Even Atsushi, an orphan, has a few friends that would come see him if he were ever hospitalized.

And Dazai is constantly hospitalized.

“So...you never knew your real parents?”

“Yup! Though I never really wondered about them, anyway.”

Atsushi wishes he could say the same. He shuffles his feet, pushing back memories of crying behind the orphanage garden, beneath the covers, in the library, always wondering why he didn’t deserve parents like other children.

“Does that mean that...at one point, you and your father were close, then?”

“Oh, absolutely not. Mori-san was...well.” Dazai turns to look out the window again, and his hand comes up to brush at the bandages that cover his eye. “Mori-san had certain...expectations. It’s why we don’t speak anymore.”

That sounds so...cold. And lonely.

Both of which are feelings Atsushi is not unfamiliar with—and that’s why it’s so distressing to him.

“I...I never knew my parents either.”

Dazai hums, and cocks his head in interest. Atsushi looks away, unable to meet his eyes. With no small surprise, he finds himself speaking up again.

“I...was an orphan. Grew up at an orphanage. It was...well. The director there also had...expectations, of a sort.”

He expected Atsushi would fail at everything he ever did, and would wind up as the trash of society. A burden. Useless.

“Did you fulfill them?” Dazai’s eyes are strangely knowing. Usually that would make Atsushi feel uncomfortable, or wary. But somehow, he feels...calm. Maybe he just got used to Dazai’s presence after seeing him so often, and he's mistaken the familiarity as a sense of security and trust. Maybe hearing that they have something in common made Atsushi lower his guard.

Or maybe there’s just something about Dazai that makes Atsushi want to be known.

Atsushi clutches at his clipboard, fingers turning white.

“I...maybe. I don’t know.”

Dazai reaches up to press his fingers into his bandages again.

“I fulfilled Mori-san’s expectations rather easily. Too easily, I think. But in the end, I decided not to be the person he wanted me to be. Even if, maybe, that was who I was born to be.”

Atsushi finds that he would do anything to erase the carefully controlled, fragile expression on Dazai’s face.

He finds that he wants to know. Know more, about Dazai. About everything.

“Why didn’t you want to be that person?”

Their lives may have begun similarly, and yet...they are so different. Atsushi would’ve done anything, at that time, to earn the director’s approval. Now, he wonders why.

Dazai smiles, nails digging into the bandages on his head.

“A friend told me I could be better.”

Atsushi wonders what happened to that friend, for Dazai to make such a pained expression, and for Dazai’s bedside chair to always remain empty. He knows, instinctively, not to ask.

“Are those bothering you?” Atsushi asks, indicating the bandages.

“Ah, no,” Dazai pulls his hand away, “It’s fine.”

Atsushi frowns.

“I can redo them for you, if you’d like.”

Dazai pauses, an unreadable look crossing his face.

“...If you could, then.”

It’s strangely intimate. The way the bandages unravel and collect in a bundle on the blankets. The way Atsushi brushes aside his hair, or brushes past his ear, his skin. The slow reveal of Dazai’s features. The moment when the bandages come off and Dazai gazes, with both eyes, straight at Atsushi, who is nearly cradling his face.

Atsushi grabs new bandages and re-wraps his head, this time leaving his eye clear.

“Not too tight?”

Dazai shakes his head lightly.

“Perfect.”

Atsushi gives himself a mental pat on the back.

“I’m not sure why they decided to cover your eye, anyway. Maybe they thought putting more bandages on would keep you from hurting yourself again.” Atsushi jokes.

“...Thank you. Really.”

Dazai is already looking more like his normal self, color returning to his face, his cheeks lifting lightly and eyes squinting at the corners. It's as though the bandages had, before, turned him into a lost child.

“It’s no big deal, really.” Atsushi assures him. “Were they bothering you that much?”

Dazai’s expression slips a little.

“Yes, they were.”

The sun is beginning to set outside the window now, light filtering through the sheer curtains.

“They reminded me of...a younger me.”

Atsushi doesn’t quite understand, but he thinks he can fill in between the lines.

“You’re...I’m sure you’re not the person your father made you into, Dazai-san.”

Dazai looks up at him.

“And how would you know that, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi finds that his voice comes out stronger and clearer than he ever knew it could be.

“I think, if you were who your father thought you were, your friend wouldn’t have advised you differently. He was an important friend, right? He must’ve known you better than your father, who didn’t see who you were, but only who he wanted you to be. I won’t lie, you’re a rather annoying person, Dazai-san, but I think...you aren’t a bad one. So I think, you don’t need to be afraid of becoming whatever it is you are afraid of becoming. Because Dazai-san is a good person, so no matter whatever else you are, that’s what’s most important.”

Dazai stares at him, mouth slightly parted.

After another pause, Atsushi’s brain finally catches up with his mouth, and he pinks.

“I’m so sorry! I stepped out of line, that was rude of me. I’ll. I’ll just be going now… S-See you tomorrow, Dazai-san…”

He rushes out the door, and slams it closed behind him, leaning against it with one hand on his beating chest and the other pressed against his hot cheeks.

I can’t believe I just did that! Bad Atsushi! Bad Atsushi!

Dazai watches him go, silhouette framed by the dying light of the sun. He looks down at his hands, which are curled around the old bandages.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” he murmurs, “you’re really too much for me.”

 Atsushi groans as he finally lies down in his bed, feeling the way his spine stretches out.

It’d definitely been a long, long day. He congratulates himself for getting through it alive and arguably in one piece.

Some of it definitely could have gone better, Atsushi thinks, as he stares up at the ceiling, chewing his lip.

There’s no two ways about it. The date with Akutagawa had been terrible. They barely talked, and if possible, left on worse terms than they’d started.

And they’d started on awful terms.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Akutagawa’s injury was just a coincidence.

Secretly, he hoped so. Akutagawa seemed like an unpleasant person and not at all like someone Atsushi would want to spend the rest of his life with. Either the universe had made some kind of mistake, or Atsushi did, and the latter is much more likely.

What was he going to do if he does turn out to be his soulmate though? How does he mend that bridge when he’d so obviously offended Akutagawa?

My soulmate would never speak such a way about Dazai-san.

And anyway, what was it about Dazai that had Akutagawa so angry and...obsessed?

Atsushi thinks about the delicate features of Dazai’s face. The slender yet sharp jaw, aristocratic nose, glimmering, deep brown eyes. His porcelain skin, the wicked curve to his lips, the soft angle of his cheekbones. His deft, clever hands. The way he glides when he walks. His soft, messy hair, which glows russet in the right lighting. The fact that he always smells good.

Okay, so maybe there was a lot to Dazai that could be obsessed over. But that’s all just physical stuff! Not important!

And then he thinks about Dazai bursting in on the scene with some ridiculous excuse in the middle of a boring work day. Dazai showering him with extravagant compliments and (albeit unwanted) attention. Dazai smiling at him even after Atsushi brushes him off.

Dazai’s fragile expression when he talked about his adoptive father. His solemnity when he talked about a dear friend who’d passed away. The way he always listened to everything Atsushi had to say, even if he tends to choose to ignore the complaints, the way he hadn’t pitied Atsushi the moment Atsushi had told him his story.

Atsushi thinks that now he may understand, just a little, the desperate look that had been in Akutagawa’s eyes.

Even without comparing him to Atsushi, there were possibly a few, or possibly a lot, of things about Dazai to be desperate over.

Wouldn’t be nice, he thinks to himself, if Dazai were my soulmate, instead of Akutagawa?

When he realizes where his train of thought had lead, he immediately groans and buries his face in his hands.

Why? Why, brain? Why would you take that train of thought in that direction? Why would you even think—

Atsushi freezes.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh god, do I like him? No, no, no, no… You promised yourself not to let that happen! It’s not possible! No!

  ...Okay.

So maybe he’s grown a bit fond of Dazai’s antics, and maybe he worries about how good Dazai is at hiding his real injuries.

Maybe he isn’t as immune to Dazai’s charms as he acts.

But, it’s impossible. There’s no way. None of that has to mean he has a crush on Dazai. It doesn’t! Him with Dazai-san? Dazai-san with him ? That would never work. It’s best to shut it down before he can begin to hope, and save himself the heartbreak.

He curls up on his side, mind whirling.

He needs to sleep. He has morning classes, three exams coming up, and he agreed to cover someone else’s shifts at the hospital, to boot.

Atsushi’s exhausted. He wasn’t built for this kind of stress and drama.

His side suddenly erupts in pain, and Atsushi gasps.

“Just what are you getting yourself into?” He asks the empty air, knowing he’ll get no response.

At this rate, his soulmate is going to die before they ever get to meet.

Assuming that it isn’t Akutagawa, at least.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” he whispers. His side continues to radiate pain, as if in direct response to his words.

Atsushi sighs, and prepares for another sleepless night.

 -

Atsushi didn't get another wink of sleep that night.

“Here’s the juice you asked for,” he says quietly, handing it over to Akutagawa.

That’s right.

Akutagawa is staying at the hospital for the time being, and due to where he’s located in the hospital, Atsushi is still tending to him.

Talk about awkward.

Atsushi sighs, feeling heavy from exhaustion. He can't even muster the energy to feel alarmed by the stink eye Akutagawa gives him.

“Did you...sleep okay, last night?”

He thinks about the sharp pain that he’d experienced, that had kept him awake even when he'd been in tears, praying for sleep.

Akutagawa takes the juice without a word, and haughtily turns his face away, with his eyes closed, as though being forced to even look at Atsushi was a personal affront to his very being.

“I slept fine. They administered painkillers, so I felt nothing.”

“Ah, that’s good…”

Silence.

“...Let me or one of the other nurses know if you need anything else…”

He runs out as quickly as he can.

As he goes, Akutagawa’s words catch up to him.

Wait...he didn’t feel any pain last night? Then does that mean…

Was it really a mistake after all?

 -

“Sooo, Atsushi,” Naomi kicks the ground and rolls her swivel chair over so she can lean closer to Atsushi’s ear. “How’d the date yesterday go?”

Atsushi winces. “It went...okay, I guess.”

“Hmm, really?”

Atsushi groans and covers his face.

“Who am I kidding, it went terribly .”

“Aw, what? I thought you said he could be your soulmate!”

Atsushi mentally scolds himself for telling her that.

“That’s...I’m not so sure anymore. I kind of...hope he isn’t. I can’t imagine living my life with someone like that… He acts like he can’t even stand to look at me.”

“Didn’t you just go in to check on him?”

“Yes, and it was extremely awkward!”

Naomi laughs.

“Oh, come on, it can’t have been that bad.”

Atsushi blows a piece of hair out of his face. “It was. You have no idea.”

He pauses for a moment, then looks at Naomi consideringly.

“Naomi-san…”

“No,” Naomi says, without pause.

“Naomi-san...please? Please, can you take over for just his room? Just until he’s discharged? Every time he speaks I get scared for my life, Naomi-san. I’m serious!”

Atsushi whines as Naomi laughs at him.

“Naomi-san, this is serious! If I have to tend to him any longer I think I’ll die! He hates me! So much! You have no idea .”

“All right, all right. But you have to tell me more about the details of your date later, okay, Atsushi?”

Atsushi groans.

He does not want to relive that experience. But if it means he can avoid Akutagawa for the rest of his stay...

“Fine. Deal.”

Naomi glances over at him slyly, and leans against the desk.

“I kinda feel bad for the dude though. He never really had a chance, given that you’re...biased. Don’t you think?”

Atsushi cocks his head to the side.

“Biased about what, Naomi-san?”

“Well… You know.”

Atsushi blinks at her. “What do I know?”

Naomi stares at him. “Seriously? Isn’t it obvious?”

“Isn’t what obvious?”

Naomi groans. “Oh my god you’re hopeless.”

“Fine then. Don’t tell me.” Atsushi pouts.

Naomi heaves a sigh and holds back a groan. “Dazai, silly.”

Atsushi frowns. Why is everyone constantly bringing him up?

“Dazai-san? What about him?”

Naomi rolls her eyes. “I’ll admit, you’re good at pretending, but you can’t hide from me. I know you like him, Atsushi.”

Atsushi gapes at her, then flushes up to his ears.

“I—I do not!”

A distant figure rounds a corner, and begins to walk down the hallway adjacent to them.

Naomi giggles at him.

“Oh, look at you, you’re so cute. Stay in denial if you want, then. It’s funny.”

“I’m not in denial!”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so!”

Their voices echo.

“All right then, Atsushi.” She winks at him.

Atsushi’s still blushing, looking anywhere but Naomi.

“W-Who would like someone like Dazai-san, anyway? He’s over-the-top and a flirt! He’s constantly harassing me, doesn’t take no for an answer, and in general is just—a nuisance! I don’t like him. I don’t!”

Something uncomfortable grows in his stomach as the words come out of his mouth. He thinks about bandages falling away, two eyes pinning him with an earnest gaze, a fragile smile.

He doesn’t notice Dazai standing, frozen, just around the corner of the hallway.

“You talk about him a lot for someone who doesn’t like him, though.”

“That’s—! That’s because he’s—he’s insufferable! I really just wish he’d leave me alone.”

Dazai clenches his hand into a fist, staring at his shoes.

Naomi looks at Atsushi with pity.

“Is that how you really feel?”

Atsushi looks away, fiddling with his fingers. He tries to imagine coming to work and never seeing Dazai again. Never dealing with his shenanigans, never hearing his voice, never again being able to know how he’s doing and whether or not he’s recovering from his latest injury.

No, he thinks to himself. No, it isn’t.

“...Yes.” he says, instead.

Naomi gives a skeptical hum, but pushes herself away from the desk and returns to her own work.

“Okay, okay. I’ll drop it. For now.”

Atsushi slumps into his chair. “Thank you.”

Unbeknownst to them, Dazai turns and walks away. His expression is blank, wiped clean.

“Okay then, Atsushi-kun,” he whispers to himself. “If that’s what you want.”

 -

Atsushi is on the computer, trying to ignore the continuing pain in his side and looking up a patient’s room number so he can redirect a small family of three, when he hears it.

Dazai’s voice, laughing merrily from somewhere down the hallway.

“That’ll be on the third floor, room 317,” he says with a smile, accepting their thanks with grace.

After they leave, he waits.

And waits.

 Strangely enough, Dazai doesn’t head towards the nurse’s station looking for him. No one calls him over specifically to tend to him. Occasionally, he thinks he catches the sound of Dazai’s voice as he rounds a corner, but he isn’t bothered or harassed like he usually is. Not even once.

As the hour goes on, Atsushi gets more and more uncomfortable.

Why is he making a big deal out of this? This is what he wanted right? For Dazai to leave him alone, so he can finally get over his stupid crush? To stop having his feelings played with?

He opens the cabinet where they store extra blankets, and frowns.

He’s tired. It’s nearing the fourth day he’s gotten little to no sleep. He’s ready to pass out, but he can’t. He has things to do, and whatever injury it is that his soulmate has, has apparently not been healed yet, because he can still feel it. A dull, throbbing, constant pain.

At this point, he’s relatively certain it isn’t Akutagawa. Naomi administered more painkillers at his behest, and yet the pain in Atsushi’s side has yet to abide.

Meaning that entire ordeal was completely pointless, unless the goal was to shoot Atsushi’s anxiety even higher than it already is.

He tugs at one of the blankets, standing on his tiptoes to reach. The door next to the cabinets opens. Atsushi turns to look, and freezes.

It’s Dazai, and another nurse, Sasaki-san.

Sasaki giggles, hand daintily going up to her mouth, and Dazai leans closer to whisper in her ear. His right arm is in a cast.

She’s really pretty, Atsushi thinks. They look good together.

“I’m free Friday after five,” Dazai says with a quirk of his lips.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” Sasaki says, “I get off my shift right around then.”

Dazai turns, and meets Atsushi’s wide-eyed gaze.

Atsushi feels sick.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” Sasaki says, before pausing. “Atsushi-kun, is everything all right?”

To his horror, he realizes he’s about to cry.

“Oh, I—I, yes—”

He stumbles back, but in his hurry, he tugs at the blankets too harshly and brings them tumbling down on his head.

He stands there, blankets draped over him and strewn across the floor, and thinks to himself, Could you be any more pathetic?

“I—sorry, I just, was grabbing some blankets…” He kneels down, carefully hiding his face, and begins picking them up and re-folding them.

He’s hastily wiping at his eyes when he realizes someone has knelt down to help him.

“No, it’s okay, I can—” Atsushi looks up.

“D-Dazai-san,” he squeaks in surprise. What is he doing?

“Dazai-san, stop. You have a broken arm.”

Dazai gives him a wink.

“Oh this? This is nothing. At least, it’s nothing compared to the pain of seeing a beautiful creature such as yourself in distress.”

Atsushi can’t help but sniffle, face screwing up.

Typical Dazai. Being kind, yet cruel, all at once.

He takes a deep breath and mentally steels himself.

“Dazai-san, really, I’m fine. And you can’t do much with one arm in a cast like that, anyway.”

He reaches out, meaning to help Dazai stand up, hand braced under Dazai’s elbow.

“Atsushi-kun, wait—”

Atsushi lands with a thwump back on his butt.

He stares down at the cast in his hand, then looks at the empty space where the rest of Dazai’s arm is supposed to be.

And screams.

 -

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!”

“I can’t believe you! You faked another injury?! To do what? To flirt with the nurses? What is wrong with you?!”

“Well I didn’t think you’d grab someone by their broken arm…”

“So this is my fault? Is that what you’re saying? Get out.”

“Wait, but—”

“You don’t actually have any pressing injuries, right? That means you can’t be here. Get out.”

“Wait, Atsushi-kun, I said I’m sorry—”  

Atsushi is livid.

After tugging off Dazai’s fake cast and nearly having a heart attack, thinking he’d pulled someone’s arm off, Dazai revealed the rest of his arm, which he’d tucked up in his sleeve, and admitted that it was “just a prank”.

He’s had—

“Enough. I’ve had enough. If you don’t get out, now, I’m calling security.”

“I can explain—”

Atsushi turns and begins to stomp down the hallway.

“Wait, Atsushi—”

A hand grabs him by the elbow and he whirls, ready to yell again, when he stumbles off-balance and bangs his other elbow on the wall.

“Ow!”

“Ow.”

Atsushi opens his mouth, then pauses.

  That second “ow”? That hadn’t come from Atsushi.

Dazai and he stare at each other. Slowly, the pieces click together.

But—how can he be sure? What if—what if this is another prank?

...There’s only one way to find out.

Atsushi lifts a trembling hand—

“Atsushi-ku—”

—and does what he’s been aching to do for weeks now.

He slaps Dazai Osamu right across his pretty face.

Dazai stares at him, open-mouthed, hand reaching up to rub at his cheek.

Atsushi blinks right back at him in disbelief and lifts his own hand up to his own face, feeling where the echo of the force of his own slap radiates from.

He felt that.

He’d slapped Dazai, and in that very same moment, felt that very same pain on his own face.

“Oh my god.”

This can’t be real.

He lifts his hand again, and Dazai backs up.

He needs to check. Just one more time. To make sure.

“W-Wait, Atsushi-kun, I really don’t think that’s necessary—”

“It is.”

“There must be some other way—”

Atsushi pauses for a moment, thinking.

If they’re soulmates, and they share each other’s pain, then that means…

He narrows his eyes.

“Dazai-san.”

Dazai gulps.

“Oh, would you look at the time!” Dazai flashes him a fake smile and looks at his bare, watch-less wrist. “Wouldn’t want you to call security on me! I’ll just be going then, haha—”

“ Dazai-san. ” Atsushi’s suspicions have been all but confirmed. “Take off your clothes. Now.”

“I don’t really think that’s appropriate, Atsushi-kun—”

Atsushi stomps forward, and Dazai continues to back up, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

“Now, now, Atsushi-kun, we can talk about this—”

“Take off your clothes! Now!”

Dazai breaks into a flat out run, with Atsushi chasing after him.

“Get back here!”

True to his expectations, as Dazai runs, the pain in Atsushi’s side flares.

They skid to a stop at the end of the next hallway, panting, both of them clutching their sides.

Atsushi pushes Dazai up against the wall, tugging at his shirt.

“Atsushi-kun I think we’re moving a little too fast don’t you think—”

Atsushi pauses, and glares at Dazai’s bare stomach.

“Dazai-san. What is that.”

Dazai gulps.

“...Nothing.”

“I’ve been feeling it for two days, it isn’t nothing .”

“...may have run into a knife.” Dazai mumbles.

“You got STABBED?!” Atsushi screeches.

“If anything, it’s the knife’s fault.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that it’s completely your fault for making someone want to stab you. What I want to know is why you felt the need to fake a broken arm to get in here when you’ve already been stabbed. ”

“It’s not even that bad—”

Atsushi screeches again, and grabs Dazai by his arm, dragging him back the way they came.

“That’s it, I’m bringing you to Yosano-sensei.”

Dazai suddenly stops, clinging onto Atsushi’s arm and dragging his feet.

“But I can only be healed by the gentle touch of your love!”

“Oh, stop that. Don’t be ungrateful. Though her methods of practice are...unique... Yosano-sensei has a very high success rate!”

“But I’d really much rather stay by your side—”

“You’re not getting out of this one, Dazai-san.”

Dazai grows more desperate, recalling all the rumors he’d heard about Yosano’s “treatment” and his past luck in dodging it.

“But you’ll have to suffer with me!”

“Gladly.”

They jerk to a stop.

Atsushi huffs in annoyance, ready to ask “What is it now”, when Dazai interrupts him.

“Even if I’m a compulsive liar with trust issues who sometimes can’t bring himself to get out of bed in the morning?”

Atsushi is taken aback.

“W-what?”

“Would you gladly suffer with me even though I’m annoying and I don’t know how much is too much and I embarrass you in front of everybody?”

Atsushi gapes at him, mouth opening and closing silently.

“I—”

He looks away, and tightens his grip on Dazai’s arm.

“...Yes. Even then. You’re my... soulmate, after all. But…”

Dazai watches him, studying his features in the fluorescent lighting.

“But?”

“...But even if you weren’t. I wouldn’t... couldn’t just leave you to suffer alone.”

The beginnings of a delighted grin begin to creep up onto Dazai’s face.

“You like me. You actually like me.”

“Don’t push it.”

The grin continues to grow as Atsushi begins to squirm uncomfortably.

“...Okay fine! Maybe I do like you. A little. But we really need to get that stab wound looked at so let’s just...get going, already.”

He blushes.

“Okay,” Dazai sing-songs.

Atsushi sighs, feeling the waves of exhaustion crashing over him.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Well,” Dazai says, walking next to him amiably now, “I’m free Friday after five.”

Something warm pools in Atsushi’s gut, and a small smile sneaks its way onto his face.

“That works just fine for me.”

[shinsoukokuvalentine]

I'd love to see this one! “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

(Welcome to part 4 (and final for a while at least) of the Sundog AU! I’m really proud of this one, so I hope you like it too. Thank you for putting up with me shoving this AU into nearly every ask I’ve gotten for the past week.

Hey, it’s also the 1st day of SSKK week as well, so this also fits that prompt: Eye of the tiger. Vaguely. I did my best.)

18. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

209/365: Justice

Alarms sound from every single one of the Sundog’s corridors.

“We’re taking fire!” Higuchi yells, darting past Ryuu, yelling into her com link. “All gunners to the port side!”

Ryuu pants, coughing into his hand occasionally. He races down to the main engine room, hoping Chuuya’s already there, assessing damage.

“Ryuu!”

Ryuu stops suddenly, whipping his head to his side. Atsushi beckons him with one hand, a finger held to his lips with the other hand, hiding around a corner. Ryuu rolls his eyes as he slides next to him.

“What?” He almost hisses. Atsushi’s eyes are alight with excitement, and he nearly seems to jitter as he speaks.

“That fighter you’ve been working on,” he says quickly, “the one with the cloaking. Have you finished it?”

Ryuu’s eyes narrow. “Don’t you dare,” he snaps, but Atsushi keeps talking.

“Because, if you’ve finished it, we can slip between the phaser fire and onto the Krysa,” Atsushi beams as if he’s just discovered an infinite pool of wealth.

Ryuu frowns. “You think I haven’t thought of that?” he mutters. “If it was ready, someone would be flying it out there by now.”

Smiling coyly, Atsushi tilts his head. “Didn’t you say that all you needed was a jewel board?”

Ryuu raises an eyebrow. “Yes…?”

Atsushi beams again as he reaches into his pocket. When he pulls his glove back out, he holds a small wrapped package in his hands.

“Kyouka found it on Asagiri,” he says. Ryuu’s eyes widen, and he quickly grabs up the package. Nevermind that Kyouka likely stole it - none of them would be able to afford a jewel board unless they didn’t want to eat for a month - it’s his now.

Atsushi must notice the fascination in Ryuu’s eyes, for he grins as he pulls his large blaster off of his back. “So are you in?”

Delicately, Ryuu unties the small ribbon that Atsushi’s wrapped around the package, leaving the jewel board’s circuits to glitter in the ship’s flashing emergency lights. He sighs, folding his hands around it.

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had,” he says, then looks Atsushi straight in the eye. “Of course i’m in.”

x

They should’ve told someone else. They shouldn’t have gone alone.

They shouldn’t have gone at all.

“ATSUSHI!” Ryuu screams, doing his best with his small phaser as Atsushi fires his larger gun. Crawling along every wall, floor, and ceiling, hissing, furless, rodent-like creatures the size of children swipe and bite at them. Whenever they shoot one down, four more seem to take its place.

“I know!” Atsushi snaps back, covering them as they scramble back to the pod. Over the ship’s intercom, a harsh voice laughs.

“Run, little dogs,” the Krysa’s captain taunts. Ryuu snarls and shoots the nearest surveillance camera.

“This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had!” Shouts Ryuu, running as fast as he can without falling over deformed monsters. Despite not having eyes, each of them faces the two, screeching with noise that nearly drowns out anything Ryuu or Atsushi could say.

“You don’t say!” Atsushi shoots back. His more powerful, but slower blaster can take out more than three of the monsters at a time, but even that doesn’t seem to be putting a dent in them. Ryuu turns quick enough to shoot at a monster that approached Atsushi from behind. He shouts, “Kunikida’s going to have our-!”

He’s cut off by a harsh sound. It’s a dry, strangled noise, louder than the monsters, and after an agonizing moment, Ryuu realizes it’s coming from his own lips.

He looks down, sees the monster on his arm, blood covering its fangs, and he makes that sound again. That’s his blood. That’s his arm, no longer attached to him, being swallowed down the beast’s throat.

“RYUU!” Atsushi yells, and the monster falls dead, a phaser blast through its misshapen skull.

Ryuu doesn’t move. He doesn’t move until Atsushi grabs his other shoulder, pulling him along the corridor. Unbearable pain flares up from where his arm used to be just milliseconds ago.

“You’ll be okay,” Atsushi says, over and over, shooting at the monsters that still follow them. “You’ll be okay.”

Spots dance across Ryuu’s vision. He grimaces, doing his best to run alongside Atsushi.

“Atsushi,” he says, teeth gritted together. “You’ll have to fly us back.”

Atsushi stumbles. “N-no, you can do it still,” he insists while they turn a corner. Ryuu glares at him.

“We both know… You need,” he gasps, holding close what remains of his arm, “… Two hands.”

Atsushi gulps. For a second, he squeezes his eyes shut.

“I-I know you can do it, somehow,” he stammers. Ryuu growls.

“Atsushi!” He shouts, causing him to turn to him with wide eyes. They pant as they run, and the rages fades from Ryuu’s face as he looks into Atsushi’s eyes, filled with fear. “I need you to fly us home,” he murmurs, barely able to be heard over the monsters.

Atsushi stares at him a second longer, mouth open, but a charging monster screeches as it jumps towards them, and Atsushi turns to shoot it. He says nothing else, but his entire body shakes as he helps Ryuu back to the fighter.

They make it in by the skin of their teeth. The monsters snarl, and one of their hands gets severed in the fighter’s closing doors. Ryuu spits on it.

“Payback,” he mutters.

Though he manages to make it to the cockpit, Atsushi freezes the second he sits in the pilot’s seat.

“I…” he stutters, eyes darting over the controls. “I… I can’t do this.”

Ryuu pants. He can feel consciousness leaving his body, and the pool of blood at his feet only grows as his arm continues to bleed. “Doesn’t matter if you can,” he hisses through the pain. “You have to.”

The monsters pound on the door, and the fighter lurches forward under their might. Atsushi gasps, hands instinctively flying to the controls before he suddenly pulls them back, chest heaving.

Ryuu slides down to the floor, breathing shallow. “See?” he says. “You’re… A pilot, Atsushi.”

Atsushi’s lips form a thin line. He looks from his hands to the controls, then back to Ryuu, causing him to gasp.

“Ryuu, you’re-!”

“I can see a doctor… When we get home,” he says. With his remaining hand, he grasps the bleeding stump of his other arm. He locks eyes with Atsushi and nods. “Your job… Is getting us there.”

The ship lurches again, and once again, Atsushi’s hands fly to the controls. Except this time, he doesn’t take them off.

“You can do this,” whispers Ryuu, his voice failing him. The fighter hums to life as Ryuu lets his heavy eyelids begin to close. “… I love you.”

The fighter jettisons out of the Krysa, and Ryuu hears Atsushi shout his name before every light goes out.

x

“… How does it feel?”

Ryuu flexes his arm again. Mori had it fitted with the absolute best; the materials are first-rate, and it moves as smoothly as his original one. Still, he sighs.

“It doesn’t feel like mine yet,” he mutters, lowering the robotic arm to his side. Atsushi sighs and nods.

“I wonder if it ever will,” he says, gazing out the window. Ryuu follows his line of sight. They’ve stopped for a supply run, and the planet’s two suns light up the sky outside.

“I’m sorry,” Atsushi murmurs, slumping over in the chair beside Ryuu’s hospital bed. Ryuu turns to look at him as he continues, “if I hadn’t had that stupid plan-”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Ryuu interjects. He closes his eyes, breathing slowly. “I’m sorry I pressured you into flying.”

He feels a hand push some of his bangs out of his face, and he looks up to see Atsushi smiling gently at him.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I… Think I needed that,” he admits, his smile turning sheepish.

Ryuu huffs a bit, closing his eyes again. He nearly jolts up in bed when he feels something warm and soft touch his lips.

He stares at Atsushi, eyes wide, as the other man pulls away, eyelids fluttering.

“I think you needed that,” he whispers, grinning, and Ryuu can only nod. At his stunned reaction, Atsushi bursts into laughter.

His laugh glitters like stardust, echoing through the otherwise empty sick bay like wind chimes.

“I love you too, you know,” he finally manages to say as his laughter dies down, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Ryuu’s face flushes, and either Atsushi doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, because he goes on to talk about his upcoming pilot lesson with Dazai.

[shin-and-soukoku-blog]

BSD Short Novels about SSKK and SKK

“New short novels to be released on Dead Apple’s first 2 weeks: The first one is a “what if Akutagawa is in the Armed Detective Agency and Atsushi in the Port Mafia”. The second one is about Dazai and Chuuya’s first encounter.”

-@akutagawaprize

(Keep Reading if you wanna see my reaction. WARNING SUPER LONG)

OMG OMG OMG MY BABY SHIN SOUKOKU AND SOUKOKU GETTING A NOVEL TOGETHER!!! I am so hype and I just can’t wait to see Atsushi in the Port Mafia and Akutagawa in the Agency. Somehow this reminds me of the Taishou Stray Dogs April fools I read last time lol I wonder the one who created that feels happy since her self-au came true. Shin Soukoku switching sides.

ASDFGHJKL OMG SOUKOKU SOUKOKU SOUKOKU MY BABIES’ FIRST ENCOUNTER IS FINALLY GOING TO BE REVEALED!! But wait seriously 15?! I thought they met when they were 12 years old O.O they just look so young but I never thought they would be that young! Ahh I will just stick to my fantasy that they both met when they were younger since to me its kind of shows that Chuuya really cares and watched over Dazai since they met.

My biggest problem... I can’t read Japanese and I hope someone is willing to translate it. I found there are only few novel chapters that are translated so I hope this 2 new novels would be translated fully.

I am both excited and extremely worried this coming March. I am going to Japan and theres a chance for me to finally buy the BSD Dead Apple merches that I always wanted T-T it will be a once n a lifetime because this this can only happen once and I am so not missing this BUT at the same time I am so extremely worried that I will miss lots of my lessons in class and March is almost our Midterm Exams.

MY friend gave me an advice to go to Japan since my grades can still be catch up but my opportunity in Japan won’t. I am so afraid of my grades because it’s really hard and I don’t want to skip it but I really want those BSD merches T-T. So I decided to just go to Japan and trust my friend to help me with the lessons I missed and possible homeworks (I have no hope for groupworks since teachers decided to give a 0 score lol RIP me).

But if my friend isn’t able to help me……. I might won’t be able to post for a while due to depression because I experienced too many betrayals and leads me to severe depression but I will still be active for the sake of seeing my soukoku babies.

[scriveyner]

chase forever down 18/31

chase forever down | 18/31 | bungou stray dogs | 👿🐯 / sskk | #smarch 🔞| ~1600 words

The full moon tickled at the back of Atsushi’s neck as he jogged down the sidewalk, bag clutched to his chest. It was there over his shoulder, and when he stopped at an intersection he turned his face to it, eyes closed until he heard the lights change. He loved the moonlight, always had; even before he knew his tiger was born beneath it. There was something comforting about its cold wash illuminating the deepest night, keeping him company during long stretches of solitude.

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“You’re late,” Akutagawa said, leaning against a half wall, hands in his pockets. He was in civilian clothes, dark pants, and a short-sleeved collared shirt open over a lighter tee; utterly nondescript except for the fact he was still wearing sunglasses at night.

Atsushi tapped the side of his face with a finger, and Akutagawa scowled and rolled his eyes, but removed the sunglasses. “You’re just asking for trouble,” Atsushi said as Akutagawa tucked the shades away. He indicated the bag he was carrying. “Forgot the blood bags.”

Akutagawa gave him a look. “You just left bags of blood lying around?”

“Yosano-san’s discreet,” Atsushi said. “Also, I was in a hurry because I didn’t want to be late, and ended up late anyway.” He blew out a breath, clearly annoyed at himself. “Have you heard from Dazai-san lately?”

This question seemed to catch Akutagawa off guard. He stared at Atsushi, frowning. “Dazai-san doesn’t contact me,” he said finally. “Unless it’s about you.” There was a very clear bitterness in his tone about it, and Atsushi filed that away for later. “Why?”

“No one’s seen him since last Friday.” Atsushi looked around the busy plaza. “I mean, Dazai-san does this every now and this, but it’s just weirdly timed.” He shook his head once. “Something feels off about it.”

Akutagawa stood and began to walk, and Atsushi fell into step beside him, still lost in thought over this. “You want to do something about it,” Akutagawa observed. “You found out about Dazai-san’s situation and now you haven’t had a chance to confront him about it and it’s bothering you.”

Atsushi scrunched up his nose. “It’s not just that.”

“Weretiger, you are an open book.”

“It’s the longest he’s been gone without notice in a long time, and Kunikida-san hasn’t said a single word about it. It’s like Dazai-san stopped existing.” He slumped his shoulders, head tilting forward. “It’s so weird.”

“Would you be this bothered by his absence otherwise?”

“Well, yeah.” Atsushi blinked at him. “Dazai-san disappears off doing who-knows-what all the time, but he’s usually at least back by the next day. This is almost a solid week and no one’s heard from him.”

“Hm.” Akutagawa tilted his head back as they walked. Then he exhaled a long sigh and pulled out his phone. Atsushi cocked his head, trying to see what Akutagawa was doing as they walked, and Akutagawa glared at him and angled his phone away as he typed.

“Are you texting Dazai-san?”

“No.” Akutagawa kept his eyes on his phone. “I do not have his number.”

“Then how does he contact you?”

Akutagawa didn’t look up. “Through an intermediary.” He slid his phone back into his pocket and looked at Atsushi. “Is our date tonight going to be solely about Dazai-san? Because I feel that will put a damper on things.”

Atsushi’s cheeks colored in, he should really be used to this by now but hearing Akutagawa refer to it as a date still made him feel warm and fuzzy. “No,” he said and shifted his bag so it settled over his back again and freed his arms. Then, feeling especially daring, he slid his hand into Akutagawa’s.

Akutagawa’s shoulders stiffened for a moment, but then, gradually, relaxed. He made no indication that he wanted to yank his hand away from Atsushi and instead, looked over at him with a soft expression, not quite a smile. Atsushi beamed back; his free hand clasped on the strap of his courier bag crossed over his chest.

They walked together under the light of the gas lamps, hand in hand and listening to the distant sound of the waves in the bay. Atsushi stopped by the rail and leaned against it, folding his arms over the metal and turning his face toward the cool breeze rolling off the water. When Akutagawa gently touched his face, he leaned into the kiss.

His entire world, at this moment, was perfect.

=====

Atsushi chopped vegetables and watched as Akutagawa carefully arranged the blood bags in his refrigerator. He sorted through them and pulled out one that had been sitting for a while, and set it on the counter. “Please tell me you’re going to put that in a wine glass,” Atsushi said, utterly amused, and Akutagawa gave him an arch look and instead punctured the bag with his fangs. “Aw.”

They ate dinner together and settled in on the couch to watch some movie that had come on, which lasted all of twenty minutes before Akutagawa’s hand was down his pants. Atsushi laughed despite himself and crawled into Akutagawa’s lap. “That was fast, even for you,” he teased, as Akutagawa stroked him slow, his shorts sliding down to his thighs.

Akutagawa wet his lips, chin pressed to Atsushi’s chest, and said, “maybe I just really wanted dessert.”

“You won’t hear any arguments from me,” Atsushi breathed as Akutagawa kissed down his stomach.

He ended up on his back on the couch, Akutagawa lying between his legs, licking and sucking and swallowing his cock down again and again. Atsushi couldn’t even watch him work, because seeing his cock disappear into Akutagawa’s mouth teetered him so close to the edge already, and he really wanted to last this time.

Relentless, Akutagawa’s fingers and tongue eventually coaxed his climax out, and Atsushi’s lungs rattled with its intensity. He was dizzy and happy and in love, and they staggered into the bedroom together, Atsushi falling flat, face-first into the bed and making no complaint when Akutagawa rubbed his cock between Atsushi’s cheeks and fucked in, good and slow. Atsushi grasped back, twisting, and managed to catch Akutagawa by the back of the head. He pulled him in, seeking his mouth with desperation as they rocked together in the sheets.

He teetered on the edge of something, electricity singing in his veins, face pressed into his arms as Akutagawa’s cock sank into him again and again, but trying to figure it out was like trying to catch the tail of a shooting star. Akutagawa’s breath stirred his hair, brushed hot over his ear as he released inside, and just like that Atsushi was over the edge, the strange, buoyant, blossoming need forgotten as he fell into endless night.

=====

Akutagawa hadn’t bothered to close the blinds, and moonlight spilled over their tangled legs. Atsushi blinked gummy eyes; his face pressed against the back of Akutagawa’s neck. He’d slotted himself comfortably in Atsushi’s arms, back pressed to his chest, and for a while, still drowsy, Atsushi listened to the soothing sound of his beating heart.

He'd had the dream again, the moon filling with blood like wine being poured into a glass, and it sent prickles down his neck that he didn’t fully understand.

He understood this, though. Akutagawa in his arms, resting against him, their hearts beating in sync. He laid his face against Akutagawa’s skin, kissed it, and rumbled softly at the flutter in his belly. Akutagawa’s heartbeat was so loud, it overwhelmed Atsushi, louder still than the blood in his veins, Atsushi’s blood in his belly; Atsushi shuddered around him, arms squeezing tight—the beat grew louder and louder still.

Atsushi’s breath skated over Akutagawa’s skin, trying to find its source, tiger fangs tracing delicate lines that beaded over immediately. Akutagawa was starting to make a sleepy noise, rousing; and so Atsushi bit him, teeth sinking into soft, pale skin.

Akutagawa’s blood exploded over his tongue and Atsushi lifted his mouth, moaning at the sensation that shot through his body at the mouthful he swallowed. His tongue swiped over the fresh wound, looking for more—but before he could bite again Akutagawa’s palm caught his chin and shoved him back with such force it snapped his head back. Atsushi snarled as he went over backward, falling off the edge of the bed and clawing himself upright

“STOP.” Akutagawa’s eyes were blood-red in the darkness, his hand clamped over his shoulder, blood running in bright-dark rivulets between his fingers. The fresh, florid scent of metal filled his nose, and Atsushi’s eyes were locked in on the blood, his entire body hot. Rashomon rose out of the sheets but his claws sliced through her tendrils like butter, and he pinned Akutagawa to the bed, chest heaving, before sinking his teeth into the already half-healed wound.

Rashomon impaled him through the shoulder and Atsushi wrenched free, Akutagawa’s blood running down his chin, his own blood running down his arm. He straddled Akutagawa, panting harshly, blood-drunk and wild.

Akutagawa’s hands lifted and gently touched his face. Atsushi froze in place, breathing hard; Akutagawa’s palm slid over Atsushi’s cheek, and softly, firmly, Akutagawa said: “Atsushi, look at me.”

His eyes weren’t red; there was no weird resonance to his tone. Just a simple command, a request—and, as Atsushi stared at him, panting, the haze started to lift. The thumping in his ears diminished, and he realized, belatedly, that they were both covered in blood.

“What,” Atsushi breathed shakily, comprehending now that his mouth was full of metal. He swallowed hard, scrubbed his hand over the back of his mouth, and stared at it in horror when it came away sticky and streaked with red. He swallowed again on reflex, terror welling in his chest. “What the fuck, Akutagawa, what the fuck—?”

He doubled over Akutagawa, forehead nearly touching his chest and tears spilling hot from his eyes. “What the fuck is happening to me?”

Akutagawa’s arms wrapped around him, over his shoulders, firm and wanting to be comforting but not knowing how. He held Atsushi close as he shook, and said, grimly, “I don’t know.”

<< Chapter 17 ||| Start || Chapter 19 >>

[scriveyner]

kinktober (2020): #5

Prompt #5: Corruption

Explicit, SSKK/AkuAtsu, ~1200 words

"You're so pale," Atsushi said, lifted his hand to touch Akutagawa's face, and Akutagawa jerked back toward the encompassing shadows, Rashomon shimmering at the edges of his coat. Maybe it was the moonlight, they were all washed out by its sweet light; a week past full but still bright enough to light their path around the park. Atsushi was left with his hand outstretched for the moment, before he pulled it back, fingers curling back into a fist and stung despite knowing this was how Akutagawa was…he didn't like being touched.

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He'd turned back up last week, but Atsushi had been knee-deep in an assignment from Kunikida and hadn't been able to make the time because, unlike certain members of the Agency, he didn't duck assignments just to frolic with his…boyfriend? Was that what Akutagawa was to him now?

Another thought for another time.

Akutagawa slid slightly away on the path, Rashomon rippling around his shoulders actively now. "Did I say something wrong?" Atsushi asked him. "I mean, you're always pale, but you just look…"

"Sick?" Akutagawa asked, covering his mouth with the curve of his hand, a practiced, familiar motion—although there was no accompanying cough, this time.

Well, he hadn't wanted to say that, but yes. "You're the one who called me out here," Atsushi said pointedly, and Akutagawa finally looked back at him. Something had seemed off this entire time, but now Akutagawa's gaze pinned him in place and he felt slightly dizzy, seen in a way that left him feeling unexpectedly vulnerable. "I missed you," Atsushi said softly, and Akutagawa's eyes darted away, mouth still hidden by his hand. "Didn't you miss me?"

"I called you out here," Akutagawa said shortly, "to tell you that we can no longer be together, weretiger."

Atsushi inhaled sharply, because while he didn't know what he was expecting that was definitely not it. The surprise burned out fast, leaving the anger simmering warm in his gut. "Why the fuck not?" he demanded, and Akutagawa seemed startled at his reaction, eyes widening. "Is it Mori? Or someone else in the mafia?"

It took a moment, and Akutagawa's eyes narrowed. "My decisions are my own," he spat, reflecting Atsushi's anger. "It is not safe for you, I do not expect you to understand my reasons." He looked away again, clearly felt like he had said too much.

"…not safe?" Atsushi was incredulous. "You've cut off three of my limbs, you asshole, what the fuck else do you think you're gonna do to me?" He threw out his arms, lifted his chin. "I'm not fucking afraid of you!"

Akutagawa spun on his heel, and moved fast. They'd had practice with this, sparring session learning speed and maneuvers and Atsushi was more than confident in his ability to match Akutagawa pace for pace but this time…he moved different. It was so fast it seemed like he teleported and was in front of Atsushi so fast he didn't have time to adjust or prepare. His coat was flowing out around him like living shadow, not Rashomon but something else entirely—and his eyes, they were different, not quite dark but glowing. "You should be afraid of me," Akutagawa said, and Atsushi's eyes had gone gold to match, the tiger in his veins yearning to break free—but before he could lift his arms to defend himself Akutagawa caught his jaw, the other hand clamping onto his shoulder. He twisted Atsushi's head and held him there, stronger than Atsushi realized.

"I'll just have to teach you," Akutagawa said roughly, "to fear me."

He bit Atsushi.

Atsushi's entire body jolted as Akutagawa's teeth—needle-sharp, inhuman—tore into the skin of his throat. He couldn't get away, Akutagawa's grip was too firm, too strong; and with a heady rush of warmth Atsushi realized suddenly that he didn't want to get away anyway. It felt good here, Akutagawa's mouth like a furnace on his skin, the brief pain of the bite already replaced, a faded memory, and his eyes went half-lidded, staring at nothing at all, held up only by Akutagawa's mysterious strength.

Finally, they sank to the ground together, Atsushi's legs buckling and no longer able to hold his own weight. Akutagawa had yet to lift his head, mouth fastened securely and Atsushi's thoughts had completely emptied from his head; it was blissful nothingness, drifting, light-headed and carried away by the sensation. When Akutagawa finally released him, Atsushi stared blankly at him, eyes unfocused; Akutagawa returned his gaze, Atsushi's blood streaked down his chin.

"You taste…good," Akutagawa said, sounding stunned. Atsushi panted, mouth open, scattered thoughts slowly starting to resume some semblance of order. His entire body ached, he was light-headed, dizzy…and harder than he'd ever been in his life. Akutagawa was still holding his chin, but released him, which allowed Atsushi to collapse forward, held up only by his wobbling arms.

"You're a fucking vampire," Atsushi gasped, facing the ground, Akutagawa's shadow between him and the moon. He collapsed further forward, onto his elbow, so that he could shove his hand down his pants and lay it on his aching cock. "Fuck, you're a goddamn, fucking vampire—"

"Do you understand now?" Akutagawa's voice had changed, it was almost melodic. "I can't help myself around you, you're not safe—"

Atsushi lunged forward, pants loose on his hips. Whatever Akutagawa was expecting it was not a full frontal assault, and he toppled over backwards with a startled grunt. Atsushi straddled him, slammed his palms down on either side of Akutagawa's head, and stared down at him wildly. "Goddamn," Atsushi wheezed, dizzy as all hell, adrenaline pounding in his veins. "Fucking," he yanked at Akutagawa's pants, go them open, found what he needed, "vampire."

Akutagawa yelped, perhaps an improper sound for a vampire to make, as Atsushi seated himself on Akutagawa's hidden erection. Atsushi threw his head back as he worked himself down Akutagawa's cock, blood streaked bright red down his neck and staining the collar of his shirt. It was too tight, too much, but Atsushi didn't let up until he had all of Akutagawa inside him, panting skyward. Akutagawa's hands had found their way to Atsushi's thighs, gripped tight, chest heaving.

"What the fuck," Akutagawa's voice was hoarse, rattling in his throat, but he made no effort to dislodge Atsushi, "are you doing!?"

"I'm not safe around you," Atsushi repeated his own words, insides achingly tight, squeezing Akutagawa so much it tore the breath from his lungs. "I, fuck—"

Akutagawa rubbed his hand over the bulge in the front of Atsushi's pants, watched him closely. "Yeah," Atsushi hissed, mind half gone again already, rocking on Akutagawa's lap. "Like that, fuck, like that—"

His hips jerked, he rose off Akutagawa's dick slightly and tilted forward perilously, slamming his palms into the ground again, hanging over Akutagawa and panting. Akutagawa's eyes were a deep red now, unnatural in his face; Atsushi's blood still vivid on his lips. They stared at each other, transfixed—gold eyes on crimson—and Atsushi laughed, wild and crazy.

"I'm not afraid of you," Atsushi said, swallowed, panting still with exertion. "If you want my blood you can have it, if you want to turn me, turn me." He rocked again on Akutagawa's dick, agonizingly slow. "Haven't you figured out by now that I'm fucking yours?"

Akutagawa's mouth fell open, his fangs extending, visible now in a threat display or something else but it didn't faze Atsushi. He leaned over, grabbed Akutagawa by the cravat, and yanked him up into a kiss. "No matter what."