#ITS A GOOD THING NOTHINF BAD HAPPENS TO THEM
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emmyrosee · 1 month ago
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guys….
i think im in love with eren………….
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chimeracrash · 3 years ago
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augh i needta vent because this has been on my mind for a bit and I need to get it out and like. Two people know who I am so it doesn't really.matter I just need to air some shit abt myself to SOMEONE
So a while back, like. A month ago?? Two??? I had two weeks worth of drrp events and had a panic attack on the last one while I was on discord [which. Happens sometimes, ngl] so I decided to log off for the day. But then it happened the next day, and the next, and now I can't even get on because of this just. Wall of anxiety over it because I Didnt say Anyrhing!!!! I just dissapeard!!
And then a bunch of really personal family stuff happened and I hit a depression wall and i genuinely think I dissociated for a fucking month because I thought it was still September until like. The day before yesterday
Like. NOTHINF good has happened since September started. I can't get on discord [where all.my friends are] without panicking and closing it immediately, I've been so out of it for two.months straight I forgot what fucking time it was, I don't got a therapist no more, just a bunch of shit
Like. What have I done these two months??? I haven't drawn anything. I haven't written much [ill get to that one sec]. I haven't talked to my friends [WHO I DISSAPEARED ON!!! I'm still kicking myself over that] what am I supposed to say to them??? I forgot??? I can't go into detail to them because thats an uncomfortable amount of shit to go into and talking to people makes me anxious in general but I've missed two months of drrp and just!!! Fuxk!!! I'm afraid they've just killed my characters off because I justbpoofed for two months
literally only two good things happened these past two monrhs; my neighbors outdoor cat [that we take care of] had kittens [that my mom is adopting out] and I've fallen in love with one of them and I found a comfort series in puyo puyo but like. Tbars it. Thats the highlight of the past two months. Kiytens and puyo.
It'll likely be a few more days before I work up the courage to get back on discord but ill try tomorrow [or technically today??? Idomt ficking care rn its 2am]
Sorry abt just screaming into the void and bad writinf but I needed to get it out and I can't talk to anyone but said void
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