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mister-qi · 7 months ago

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Mr. Qi Friendship and Romance Mod: 4/19 Progress Update

It's a working title, I'm trying to come up with something less wordy that still will pop up in Nexus searches.

I wanted to be able to track my progress, mainly for myself, but if you're curious, this is the state of the mod right now:

Writing:

Heart Events - the 2 heart event is fully written (with blocking directions), and the 6, 8, and 10 heart events are outlined. The 4 heart cutscene currently has me a bit stumped; I have ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I definitely now understand why Sam's 4 heart cutscene is him dropping an egg. 14 hearts is on the back-burner as a little treat to myself once I get further into things.

Generic Daily Dialogues - about 1/3 done, probably the highest priority for writing. I'm leaving his vanilla casino dialogue as the two heart dialogue, and the vanilla Walnut Room dialogue as his four heart dialogue, with a few small changes. And, since it's me, I have more marriage dialogue written than anything else...

Day-Specific Dialogues - very few written, lower priority. Hoping to have a lot of these made eventually, and I have plenty of ideas, but they aren't necessary for the core of the mod so they're on the back-burner for now.

Gift Dialogues - all 5 generic gift response dialogues are written, with an additional 22 dialogue lines for specific items/groups of items. I'm also up to around item 530 in figuring out what item corresponds to which dialogue/whether or not he likes it. Certain item groups, like cooked food, still need more lines, however. This is definitely something that should be low priority, but also something I'm really enjoying working on. Some personal favorites so far are-

[if given a fish (hated)]: "Eugh, it's all slimy..."

[if given a legendary fish (disliked)]: "If you must give me one of the rarest fish in the valley, can you at least wrap it so I don't have to touch it with my bare hands?"

And I think that's pretty funny.

Art

Portraits - 3 new portraits finished: "deep frown" "glint" and "glasses-less". I'll probably be messing with "glasses-less" for a looong while; it's first shown at a dramatic moment so it needs to look good. Blushing portraits are next on the docket.

Here's "glint" btw, with a background thrown on so I can have a custom icon. You know I gotta make him do the anime glasses thing a few times.

Sprites - no progress yet. Walk cycle is up next after I finish the blushing portraits. Did you know he doesn't have a walk cycle at all? [1.6 spoilers] in the cheated Summit cutscene where he attacks(?) you, he literally just slides at you very fast. Anyways, I may also change his map sprite a bit as well, since it was drawn to match his old portrait and doesn't actually have the same color scheme as his sprites. Note to self: is it possible to make the sparkles on his outfit prismatic?

Maps - no progress yet. The 6 heart and 10 heart cutscenes both require custom maps, with the 6 heart one being a fully custom asset. 10 heart recycles some existing assets but will still need some custom stuff done as well.

Misc Sprites - in my head, there's a dream version of the 8 heart cutscene that has so, so many unique sprites. Like an incredible amount of stuff. I think it'll kick ass, but also that sequence could be done with a few lines of text. So, for now, it's low priority. But maybe in a few months I'll put out a request for help.

Implementation

Not totally sure how to split this into sections yet, as I'm very much still in the preliminary stages so far. To say that I'm feeling overwhelmed is an understatement; documentation on the wiki swings wildly between "an asset is a file in a video game" and "this is an advanced tutorial. Read these 4 other pages first before continuing."

I've started using Ms. Coriel's NPC Creator which has been good for setting up the basic file structure, but ultimately doesn't cover some of the more complex stuff I want to do. EDIT: Turns out it's completely outdated for 1.6! Had to throw out a bit of work, but I still learned from it so it's fiiine.

I think setting up his "schedule" will be a challenge, in that I don't actually want him to have a real schedule like most NPCs. Not to pull back the curtain too much here, but I want him to "exist" in both the Casino and the Walnut Room simultaneously, which is to say, he does not exist in two places at once in the narrative, just in the code. This will change after marriage, however.

My next goal is to set up placeholder cutscenes for each of the heart events, and then to implement the generic daily dialogues once those are finished.

Final Notes

God, this will be a work in progress for a while, but I'm enjoying it! Definitely enjoying the writing more than anything else, but hey, that's how it be. I've got around 70 lines of dialogue written, a bit of art done, and I've started learning how to actually get stuff in game. I've always been more of a designer than a coder, but it's getting there!

ADDITIONALLY I've decided that if I abandon this project for more than 8 months, anyone is welcome to request my work so far and use it for their own mod. If this blog hasn't posted in a long while, feel free to send me an ask or message! I may say no, however.

Ultimately, I want this mod to exist in some fashion. While there is an existing one, I have a pretty different take on the character and I want to share it with you all! Every line of dialogue, every heart event, every little detail needs to share something interesting about a character and their world. Yet, Mr. Qi is a mysterious guy, and I think some things should be left up to player interpretation. And I think it's crucial to be able to match his tone and voice to the vanilla game, while also expanding on his characterization. It's a fun challenge to write, and I hope the finished product, uh, well I hope it gets finished mostly, but I think it'll be pretty good.

Thanks for reading all this. This is largely just a stream of consciousness for myself, but I hope it's...interesting, or something?

#MrQiFAR #mister qi #mr qi #sdv modding #rambles

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ralkana · 5 months ago

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Dreamling Masterpost

Hi! I have been writing fic for over twenty years, but I've only been writing Dreamling for a few months, so it's a little small yet. I'm hoping it will grow, and I think Dreamling Week is the perfect time to create it!

My fic is all on ao3 here.

Fluffbruary 2024 Fills (collected on ao3 here, or on tumblr at the links below):

Feb 1: Downy (rated G)

Feb 2: Scent (rated G)

Feb 3: Umbrella (rated G)

Feb 4: Lush (rated M)

Feb 5: Rescue (rated M or maybe T)

Feb 6: Dessert (rated G)

Feb 22: Silly (rated G or maybe T for one word)

A Light From the Shadows Shall Spring (here on ao3): Rated T, 2,133 words - Ordinary disaster can befall even an immortal man. (Warning for Major Character Death, but it's Hob, so temporary!)

Come, O Love, Whene'er You May, And You Are Welcome, Welcome (here on ao3): Rated T, 16,500 words - Hob's mysterious stranger has finally returned, and has declared them friends. Now, they have to learn what that means. Or 16,000 words of Hob & Dream getting to know each other. My fic for @mr-sadman's Spring Exchange, written for @starlightervarda.

Some non-fic Dreamling things on tumblr:

I made the Dreamling Lemon Lavender Rosemary biscuits that @softest-punk first wrote about, and then @carnelianmeluha made them, and then @tj-dragonblade also put them in a fic. You can see my attempt here.

Here is the art I had commissioned at Wondercon this year from an amazing artist named Emil Lundmark (that's his IG). I absolutely ADORE IT.

Everyone has been amazing and so kind and welcoming in this fandom and I'm SO HAPPY to be here and writing again! Hopefully there will be more to add here soon!

#dreamling #dreamling masterposts #dreamling week #dreamling week 2024 #my fic

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deepspacedukat · 4 months ago

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Praetor's Pride - Part 6

Y'know, at first I was worried that this would turn out to be a filler chapter, but it turned out to be something else entirely thanks to a plot bunny that halfway ties together two ideas I had. This fic will probably end up being around fifteen chapters, so strap idn for a long journey, and enjoy, friends! I know I haven't updated in ages, but life is busy and writer's block is a bitch.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 5 here.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Praetor Hiren (ST:Nemesis) x Reader; Senator Letant (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: This has smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Romulan sex, innuendo, ogling, heavy flirtation, literal sleeping together, dirty talk, implied spanking, mild angst.

~*~

After months of sand swirling around my head, getting in my hair, and nearly blinding me, the cool, climate-controlled environment of Deep Space Nine felt like the height of luxury. The Vulcan heat, I'd discovered, was quite possibly the most stifling climate I'd ever experienced - even Andoria's frigid icy surface was more enjoyable.

When I'd arrived on the former Cardassian station, I'd lowered the temperature in my quarters and practically lived in my bed the first day. It was lazy, it was selfish, but oh stars it felt incredible to not be on the verge of melting for once.

All in all, Vulcan hadn't been completely unpleasant, but the heat was one thing I could definitely do without. Despite feeling as though I was roasting alive every time I walked outside, my spirits during my stay there had been kept rather high by my correspondence with both Letant and Hiren. The letters I received from them were the highlights of my days.

Each had such a unique voice when putting pen to paper - or, I should say stylus to PADD - that I could tell by the very first line which of the two had written it before I glanced down at the signature. Letant was his usual jovial, jaunty self. We'd corresponded semi-regularly prior to this last trip to Vulcan, but his letters were now an almost daily part of my routine.

He spoke, for the most part, as if nothing had changed between us, but he'd stray into romantic territory near the end of each missive. Judging by his tone and how sentimental he waxed, I could discern his mood. If it had been a long, hard day, he veered further into introspective territory.

'I can't help but wonder,' he wrote in one particular message, 'whether I've been selfish in regards to our relationship. A Romulan Senator has no shortage of enemies, as has been demonstrated to me recently, and I must ask you to be honest with me in your next response. Are you absolutely certain that you know what you're getting into?'

I'd responded to him that whatever hurdles appeared before us, we'd conquer them together. Navigating life together - the good, the bad, and everything in between - was, after all, what relationships were all about. He'd comforted me countless times over the course of our friendship, so why shouldn't I do the same for him now that we were romantically involved?

Letant certainly had no objections to my emotional support, becoming ever more amorous in his subsequent correspondence.

And the Praetor's letters...

Oh, Hiren gave me something utterly priceless: a glimpse into his soul. Quoting romantic poetry from all corners of the galaxy, he made me feel as though he...well, adored me. Letant's letters were extremely intimate and romantic, of course, but this side of Hiren was unexpected. I wasn't surprised that he could be that way with a lover, but I never quite anticipated being on the receiving end of such desire.

A small part of me still expected an abrupt shift from acceptance of my Humanity to outright rejection. Maybe that expectation was just my past experience with intolerance rearing its ugly head, but something taut and nervous fluttered through my chest every time I read one of the Praetor's missives. I already felt so much for him. The thought that he might end up thinking no more of me than some of the others I'd met felt like a vice around my lungs. I hadn't yet confided that to Letant, but I knew it would be wise to do so once he arrived on the station.

He'd know precisely what I was feeling, especially if he made use of that telepathy he'd demonstrated to glance into my thoughts. In fact, that might be easier than trying to express what I felt verbally.

They seemingly had no trouble doing so - a fact that never ceased to surprise me, despite the heavy encryption that protected their words.

Something else their letters shared was the presence of oddly capitalized letters. Both could speak Federation standard, but given how random the capitalized letters were, it seemed as thought they'd begun dictating their letters in Romulan using a translation matrix that wasn't quite calibrated correctly, then switched over to Federation standard dictation halfway through. It was odd. Every letter but one contained these odd linguistic characters; Hiren's most recent correspondence was the only one completely free of typos.

For such exacting men, this struck me as odd, but then again, they were both extremely busy. They could simply have not noticed, especially if their wrote their letters at the end of the day before bed. They did have exhausting jobs, and more than once, Letant had alluded to giving himself a...'relaxing massage' while composing a message to me.

I couldn't help but wonder whether Hiren had ever done the same. I reprimanded myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind. He was the Praetor of the Romulan Empire. I really shouldn't have tried to read more into his words than was intended.

But then, that day in the garden still nudged at the back of my mind, reminding me of how deep and sensual Hiren's voice dropped when he was aroused, and I was gone. There was no dragging my thoughts back from the abyss of dirty imagery it had conjured. Maybe it was all that time spent with the Vulcans and their own mental restraint, but I longed for some of my lovers' expressiveness. Their wit and sarcasm, their gentle smiles and gleeful smirks...my heart ached to be with them again.

A week after I'd arrived on Deep Space Nine, I was rereading Hiren's latest message when it struck me:

It was too late for me to guard my heart. For better or worse, he and Letant already held it in their grasp. I was head over heels for the Senator, and I could tell that the same fate awaited me in regards to Hiren.

Could this really work? Could I really be a lover to two high-class, influential Romulans?

Odo opened a comm channel just as I once again skimmed the poetry excerpt from Hiren's last letter. I was still reeling with shock from the realization of how far I'd already fallen.

"Ambassador, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's someone in security who claims that you're expecting him."

How odd.

"Acknowledged. On my way," I answered as I got to my feet. Reluctantly, I put the PADD containing Hiren's letters back into my luggage with the rest and locked it before starting toward the Promenade.

The entire way there, I was stuck in my own thoughts. Was this a risk I was willing to take? Were Hiren and Letant really willing to accept a mate who was so incredibly different? Did they understand just how much we had to learn about each other?

For that matter, did I?

A pair of doors hissed open in front of me, and I realized I'd reached the security office while I was overanalyzing my situation.

"I know you've been here before, sir, but we all have to take precautions. your government's delegation was altered at the last minute. Ah, there you are, Ambassador," the Constable said, and I blinked, taking in the group of people in the office. There were three Romulans. Two wore military uniforms, and when the third turned around, I froze.

"Speechless already? Oh dear, that doesn't bode well for the conference in a few days, does it?" Letant's usual shit-eating grin awoke the hoard of butterflies hiding in my stomach. He was here early! I hadn't been expecting him for another three days at the very least! "Really, Constable, if you recognize me, surely you don't need confirmation of my identity?"

Odo harumphed as if the Senator's question was the height of stupidity.

"It's not your identity I'm concerned with, it's your behavior," he stated bluntly before turning his attention to me. "I wouldn't normally do this, but the last I heard, the two of you were close friends. Can you vouch for him?"

Mischief bubbled swiftly up from within me as I turned to my mate with a serious expression.

"Hm, I don't know. He can be quite the troublemaker. Drinking too much ale...flirting with the Dabo girls...picking fights with Klingon officers..." I trailed off and took two slow steps toward him as my eyes drank him in from head to toe and back again. "Do you promise to be a good boy for me, Senator?"

Letant's eyes darkened with hunger, and his grin transformed from a light, easy, roguish smile to a smirk that promised I'd regret teasing him in front of his officers.

"For you, Ambassador, yes. I do," he murmured, and I turned to the Constable.

"Yes, Odo, I'll vouch for him."

The Security Chief started tapping away at his console.

"Very well. Senator, as you've arrived early, I'm afraid the quarters we were going to have prepared for you are not yet empty–"

"There is no need for a separate set of quarters. I'll be staying with the Ambassador," Letant said, and before Odo could protest, the Senator guided me out with a large, warm hand placed firmly on my back. His guards took up protective positions behind us as we walked, effectively multiplying the amount of people staring at us. "My, separation has made you quite bold indeed, e'lev. Did your stay on Vulcan truly bore you so severely that you would challenge a Romulan Senator in public?"

"Oh please, you dramatic man, there was no challenge. I was teasing you, and you damn well know it."

Letant let out a quiet laugh as his eyebrows rose.

"You don't call publicly asking if I'm going to be a 'good boy' a challenge of my authority?" I started to reply, but he cut me off. "Or were you, perhaps, trying to coax a particular reaction from me, hm?"

The abrupt closure of my mouth told him all that he needed to know.

"Ah, I see. I knew arriving early was a prudent plan. You've been alone for far too long," he murmured as we got into the turbolift. Heedless of his guards' gazes, Letant turned me to face him and backed me up against one of the lift walls. Grasping my waist with one hand and my jaw with the other, my Senator spoke in a raspy whisper. "Congratulations, e'lev. You were entirely successful."

His lips met mine for a moment, tantalizingly rough and sweet at the same time, before pulling back and leaving me dazed as the turbolift continued on its path. From what I'd been told, such displays in front of others, including personal guards, were usually avoided like the plague.

I must've teased him more than I realized after our time apart.

When we reached the doors to my quarters, we were both short of patience. I was stunned that we made it all the way inside before Letant had me up against a wall. And just like that, the fullness of the three months that we'd been separated forced our composure to take a backseat. We became a mess of grasping hands and searing kisses, fumbling our way toward the bedroom.

"Three months is too long to be away from you," he breathed as the sound of tearing fabric heralded the death of yet another uniform top.

Sated and lounging in bed that evening, I'd relaxed into an almost trance-like state atop my lover's chest. The hypnotic sensation of Letant's fingertips skimming up and down the length of my back coupled with the rhythmic steadiness of his breathing comforted me in a way that I'd severely missed since I set out for my trip to Vulcan.

"He'll be here tomorrow," he said just above a whisper.

"Hm? Who?" I dragged myself back to full consciousness and looked up at Letant.

"Hiren, of course. He's talked of little else since your departure from Romulus," he murmured brushing his lips against my forehead. "I would ask if he's been writing to you if not for the fact that he practically glowed every time you responded to him."

"How could I not? The Praetor is a charming man with a romantic streak. His knowledge of love poetry is rather extensive - or, at least, I assume that it is, given the vast selection of excerpts that he's been sending me." Tracing my fingers along the column of Letant's throat, I couldn't help but smile at the thought that I'd gotten incredibly lucky.

"How did you like his latest prose, if I may ask?"

"That was my favorite set of lines yet! Oh, that reminds me, he forgot to include the poet's name. I'll have to ask him about that when he gets here. Unless you know, of course?"

With a rumbling laugh, Letant gripped my hips and slipped one of his legs between mine.

"Now, now, have patience, e'lev. I promise you'll have your answers, but not from me. The name was left off deliberately, and Hiren swore me to secrecy. Friend though he might be, I dare not disobey my Praetor. You should have seen him when he was preparing for this trip, though. He must've pulled every set of robes from his bot-unsubstantial wardrobe to ask my opinion on whether you'd find them attractive."

"No," I scoffed in disbelief, but Letant was entirely serious.

"Yes, my girl. It's ridiculous. The man has been married before. He certainly knows how to flirt and has plenty of experience in seduction. There's no reason for him to be this nervous - he's had his head between your pretty legs, for goodness sake - yet he's behaving as if he's not even had his first encounter."

"Bullshit. Hiren would never go to pieces over someone like me. You're exaggerating."

"I most certainly am not. You have reduced the Praetor of the entire Romulan Empire to no more than an anxious suitor. He lured me to the palace, plied me with kali-fal, then proceeded to try on everything he owned in front of a mirror to ask for my opinion. You should've seen him. He struck poses, e'lev," Letant said flexing his biceps as someone might in front of a mirror, and I dissolved in a fit of giggles at the mental image he conjured. "I have told you many times that you are a remarkable woman. Perhaps you'll realize that I spoke the truth before you give the poor man a coronary."

"But surely...? I mean, he must realize that I'm not superficial enough to judge him for his outfit. He'd look good in anything, just like you."

With a mere flick of his hands, Letant maneuvered me atop him so that I was straddling his hips. I braced my hands on his chest, taking in the sight of the beautiful man beneath me. his normally pristinely-groomed black hair was tousled from our exertions, and the smirk stretching his lips brought to mind smug gods from ancient mythology. In such a comparison, I was more than content to be the unwitting mortal who'd fallen so willingly into his bed.

"You think I'd look good in anything?" He asked as a faux innocent expression made its home on his face.

"Now you're just fishing for compliments–"

"Of course I am. You love me. Who better for me to ask than you, my lovely mate?" His hands slid up my sides and caressed the swell of my breasts. "Tell me, what is it like to be in bed with someone so devilishly handsome?"

Scoffing playfully, I started to move off of him, but Letant's renewed grip on my hips kept me firmly in place as he sat up beneath me. With his lips a mere hair's breadth away, I stubbornly kept my hands to myself and my mouth shut.

"Now, now...no need for petulance," the Senator breathed. It was so obscenely easy for him to get what he wanted from me. His arms wound around my torso, holding me close as he spoke. "Just because your partner is almost equal to you in beauty doesn't mean you need to pout."

How was it he always managed to compliment both himself and me in one breath?

"You don't play fair." I just barely managed to hold back a grin, fixing him with a glare instead. Letant laughed, his warm breath ghosting over my skin.

"No, but you've known that for quite some time. Besides..." he said laying kisses slowly down the length of my jaw, "you know I'm right."

The Senator's hands slid farther down my back.

"Now, about that little challenge earlier..."

Hiren found the T'Met's commanding officer in his Ready Room, skimming through reports with a look of deep concentration etching his face seemingly in stone. The Riov glanced up as the Praetor entered, and he smiled that same charming smile he'd worn for years.

"Well, well, I was wondering when you'd come see me, old friend. Please, have a seat," S'Talon said shutting off his console and leaning back in his own chair. "I've heard a little rumor, lhhai, concerning you, Letant, and a certain Federation Ambassador. Is that why I've been honored with the task of transporting you to this conference, my Lord Praetor?"

"You know such formalities aren't necessary, Tal," Hiren said as he sank down into one of the plush chairs. "As for the rumors...I don't know what you've heard, so it's a bit difficult to give you an honest answer."

The Riov smirked and tapped the top of his desk in an absentminded sort of way.

"I've heard that you and Letant intend to make a proper triad with her...that the two of you love her."

Hiren lifted his chin. He wasn't sure how the Riov knew that, but he was not ashamed of how he felt or who he felt it for.

"Yes. She and Letant were together to begin with, and I am fortunate enough to be a candidate for the position of their third. I won't be so rude as to presume to speak for her, but for my part, I do love her, yes."

S'Talon practically beamed at him.

"I have no doubt she adores you. I remember how smitten you were with T'Shara. I see just as much light in your eyes...just as much pride as there was when you spoke of her." The Romulan Captain stood and walked around his desk. "She must truly be a marvel to have caught your attention so fully. I look forward to meeting her when we arrive at the station."

"Don't go getting any ideas. I know how charming you can be toward women you find exceptional," Hiren chastised playfully, but S'Talon placed a solemn hand over his heart.

"I am fond of the fairer sex, but you know I would never abscond with a friend's lover. She's yours, you are hers, and I would never dream of coming between you. I'll be on my best behavior, I swear it," the Riov vowed. "I would, however, like to befriend her, if you're comfortable with that."

"I do not choose my lover's companions for her. If she wishes to count you among her friends, I would never stand in your way."

A moment's comfortable silenced passed between the two, and as he leaned back against the desk, S'Talon smiled.

"Have you imagined it? What you'll do once you marry her, I mean?"

"She might not have me–"

"Oh, she'll have you, old friend, I'm certain of it. Now, tell me," the Riov continued, "where have your daydreams taken you when you think of her? You will undoubtedly be the most powerful triad in the entirety of the Empire, but have you given any thought to where you'll live? Your family estate is quite large, as is Letant's, but the Praetor's Palace would obviously have enough space, should you choose to reside there..."

Hiren couldn't help but laugh at his friend's enthusiasm, allowing his infectious joy to flow through him.

"You give me far too much credit, Tal. She's Human. She may not...well, it might be that she is not made for a triad. Who knows? I might make some monumental mistake that costs me her love, or I might simply be too old once she stops to consider the age difference." Hiren gave voice to the fears that had rolled around in his head since her departure from their home planet. He'd told Letant his concerns and had received reassurance in return, but Hiren wanted S'Talon's counsel, as well.

"I cannot pretend to know her mind," the Riov began, "but I do know yours. You are an excellent judge of character. You would not have chosen someone so fickle. I would wager my best bottle of kali-fal that your fears - while completely valid and normal - lack real foundation. She will have you, my dear old friend, and she will not let you go once she does."

Hiren nodded his head, rolling his shoulders as if to banish some of his tension from his frame.

"Would you do me a small favor once we reach the station?" The Praetor has no doubt that he was about to sound even more ridiculous, but he was beyond caring. "Would you...sketch her for me? I'd be happy to pay you. Nothing too elaborate, and she doesn't have to know, it's just..."

He trailed off, unable to think how best to describe his emotions, but Tal just smiled.

"Of course. It would be my honor." The Riov murmured, but he frowned a little. "You know I'd never charge you for that. I would, however, like to know how you met her."

A smile stretched the Praetor's lips as he thought back to that night.

Letant lay in bed that night content to hold his mate close as his thoughts whirled in his head behind a carefully constructed barrier. He didn't want them bleeding across the telepathic bridge between his mind and his lover's. She deserved sleep that wasn't interrupted by his guilt.

Was he doing the right thing keeping this from her? But surely, if it was to keep her safe, she'd understand.

Elements, if this involved anyone but her, he'd have no trouble justifying his actions. He'd been a great strategist - he still was - so why was this causing him so much discomfort? He knew that the pain she'd feel would be temporary...that it would all be resolved in a matter of days once it began and that the three of them would live quite happily afterwards, but...

Damn him, the thought of causing her even a moment's pain made him want to wake her, drop to his knees, and plead for her forgiveness. He wanted to tell her everything, but he knew that doing so would endanger her life.

That he could not abide. Her life was much more valuable to him than his comfort, and though she may rage at him later, he was reasonably certain that they could work through any problems together.

She stretched in his arms and nuzzled even farther into Letant's embrace. Precious girl. She murmured something nonsensical in her sleep, and the Senator held her just a bit tighter as he kissed her forehead.

Allowing his mind to brush against hers, he watched her dreams like a holo-vid until he finally dropped into a mostly-peaceful sleep in her arms.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes

@emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @rookietrek

@slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

#deepspacedukat fic #Praetor Hiren x Reader #Hiren x Reader #Senator Letant x Reader #Letant x Reader

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rielzero · 2 months ago

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Original by for-tymora's blog, altering this slightly and removing some bits to prevent overly spoiling my oc.

30 Questions for Your Tav! [ Ask Meme ]

Your Tav as a Companion

1. What would your Tav’s greetings be (at different levels of approval)?

Negative (<0):

He stares just at you, Clicking his tongue in an annoyed tone.

"Got nobody else?"

"I would prefer if you'd find a better source of entertainment."

Neutral (0 - 19):

"Seems like you've got something to say."

He stares at you, just raising a brow and cocking his head sideways.

“This better be important.”

Medium and up (20+):

"Hmm? Sorry, you caught me off guard."

"Feeling chatty? I don't mind."

"I'm all ears." Gestures to his ears.

When spoken to by someone other than the player character:

"I'd prefer to be in touch with someone better suited for important conversations. No small talk."

Flirting:

Pretends he wasn't intensely eyeballing your back earlier, winks.

"Something wrong, love?"

"Hey, caught you staring.''

"I was hoping you'd talk to me."

"You're looking dreamy today."

"Hello, love."

"..Hmm? Hmm.." He seems happy.

"I was wondering when you'd need me again."

Partnered:

"Hello, partner in crime." Mischief on his face.

"Say what you need, I'm here to listen."

Act 3 Vampire - Partnered:

"You look hungry, or maybe I'm... Heh."

"Ask me anything, anything, anything.."

"I'd kill if it'd make you happy."

"My love, we are so close to victory, I can almost touch it." (To Astarion Origin)

''You're looking splendid and magical today.'' (To Gale Origin)

"Yes, my sun?" (To Astarion Origin)

''Yes, my love?''

Broken up:

He Just looks at you emptily, and disappointed. Dead eyed.

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

It's the most put-together you've even seen. Stitched to the brim, looks like it can collapse and barely covers the bedroll. Has a bunch of bags surrounding it and crates to support the rest, kind of like a pillow-fort situation.

3. What would their character quest be titled? Why?

I personally haven't decided on this yet. Rat-themed perhaps, or something to do with him looking sickly.

4. What would your Tav’s romance scenes look like? How many would they have?

Probably depends on the Origin character, I can't picture him being romanced by anyone other than Gale or Astarion at this time. There would be romance and bonding scenes.

5. Describe their idle animations!

Cracking neck, cracking bones, stretching uncomfortably.

Pondering, tapping his foot on the ground with arms folded.

Wiping his face and looking at his hand for a moment before wiping it off his pants.

Tightening his arm wraps (would look like he's rubbing his lower arms.)

Casting Shocking Grasp, just to look at the sparks in his hands, then waves it off.

Pulling out his journal and browsing through it or jotting something down.

Sitting down and drawing (Stops upon approach.)

Act 3 idle Animations would be conditional adittions.

Poking his teeth, then stare at his finger..

Observe his wrist scars, turning it around and stroking it.

Scratch his neck scars, stretch.

Looks like he's smelling something, clearly bothered by it.

Pull out a bottle of blood and sip from it excessively.

Sitting down and drawing (doesn't stop when approached.)

6. How would the player go about meeting them in Act 1? What is their introduction?

I've done a post on this before I think, but it would be in the location near the intellect devourers, hunched over and trying to keep himself from hurling.

8. After Act 3, What are they talking about at the reunion party?

Probably about the change of appearance and hairstyle, and how he's doing better than he was after the defeat of the netherbrain. He's still settling down and getting used to things, 6 months wasn't enough.

Back to Basics

9. What’s the significance behind your Tav’s name?

Locke misspells his name, because he came up with it when he was sixteen. In his mind, Loki is written Locke at first because it sounds like ''Lock-i'' to him, he was the lockpicker in a gang of orphans.

10. Does your Tav have a last name? Is there a meaning behind it?

He comes up with it on the spot, it means ''Trick'' and its very much meant to be a trick.

12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?

Locke's facial tattoo is magic ink, its a protective ward of sorts. Won't elaborate. His scars are all from abuse, different people.

13. What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

Has a strong attachment to purple because of his dead childhood friend, who was a purple tiefling.

14. Where are they from? What was home like?

Baldurian sewers. Not much of a home, more like a nightmare.

15. Is your Tav more likely to fight/flight/freeze/fawn?

He fights in most cases.

17. Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends?

He has acquaintances, his closest being a fatherly figure, The Undertaker, Jermaine.

Deep Dives

20. What is their relationship to touch? Do they shy away from it? Do they need it to feel present?

Very much touch-starved, but dislikes casual friendly touch because he's afraid of affection at first.

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today!

He has CPTSD, it wouldn't be a singularity, though I'd say the moment he became a warlock is pretty big.

22. How is your Tav’s relationship with their family? Their parents?

The woman who raised him thoroughly abused him, so did the other orphans he was raised with. As adults, their relationship is strained and reduced to just being familiar with one another. He doesn't view them as family. He simply can't.

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

He desires to have something of his own, but fails to give it a place. He feels like everything that he does have will never be completely his own, at times. (I'm being vague on purpose.)

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Wizards being prone to explosiveness. He will not accept the reality that some wizards never blow themselves up in any capacity. They're all one wrong step away from exploding themselves.

27. What is the worst thing they think they’ve ever done/said to someone they loved?

Say no to his ex-boyfriend.

28. Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood.

..Cooked Dwarf roast.

29. What fears keep them up at night?

Sleeping in the dark.

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

Power, or to feel like he's worth something.

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grahambaham · 9 months ago

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Some more fic recs cause I'm obsessed and these are all really good.

The Fishbowl by LordLuxury - basically Bruce is a dick which I don't usually go for but it's really good, and he's terrible to Dick and the batfam witnesses him treating Dick like shit and hitting him for the first time and it becomes a whole thing. It's great. 10/10.

2. Look Right Through Me by Teaberry - Stranger Things fic where Steve is trapped in the Upside Down a few months before will and nobody really notices. Will and Steve friendship, no bashing.

3. this place of wrath and tears - and the sequel - my head is bloody, but unbowed by NorthernRanger - Harry goes back in time to 1979 where he gains the attention of Death Eaters, Order members and pretty much all of the British wizarding world by kicking ass. Alastor Moody sort of becomes a weird ass teenager's dad. Not actually, but whatever. Love it. 10/10.

4. Facade by Impravidus - Destiel with Castiel being a very religious man and Dean having been raised to believe in killing supernatural creatures by his serial killer father. It's an idea I've thought about before and am so glad to see it written. 10/10.

5. Miracles Don't Exist by sameuspegasus - Supernatural and House MD crossover where Dean seems to have a case of continuously coming back from the dead and everyone is confused. 10/10.

6. Sand Dollar Child by withay - basically people and other think that Percy's a god cuz he's just that guy. 10/10. Maybe rating everything 10/10 isn't the way to go but whatever. I only speak the truth.

7. An Hour of Wolves by solvskrift - Harry's sixth year where Harry is once again going through some shit. Romilda Vane is a nasty bitch who deserves a crucio to the face and love potions should be fucking illegal. Incomplete but a really good read.

8. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - AU Rewrite by killtherat - Harry's kidnapped by Voldemort and his buddies. I honestly don't remember anything else but I know it was amazing so give it a read. 10/10 boom.

9. The Second String by Eider_Down - time travel to the Marauders' era but then it turns out to also be dimension travel. Harry is a badass. I don't really remember much about this one either but it's one of my favorite Harry Potter fics so. 10/10.

10. Three's Family by darkbluedark - Harry and Draco accidentally time travel to the first war and get caught and interrogated by Sirius, James and Dumbledore. It's mostly humour, bickering and some angst. Amazing. I honestly reread it a bunch of time. 10/10.

11. Fishing in Alaska by CaffeeinatedFlumadiddle - one of the best and funniest fics ever, truly. Triton and Percy (and Kymopoliea, did I spell her name right?) are sibling goals. Percy's powers are even more destructive than usual and the gods are worried. He runs off to Alaska cuz fuck them. It's great. 11/10.

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zhongrin · 10 months ago

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ー 𝓰ℴ𝓁𝒹ℯ𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹𝓈

a little bonus for ⎡∞ / 𝟔 𝟎 𝟎 𝟎 ⁺⎦, a zhongli 2023 birthday event

𖧷 a/n ┈ IT'S FINISHED HSLDFJKSLDJ ough i think this might be the most i've written in a whole month for the past few months. maybe. probably. ah, anyway, to conclude this series, i prepped a little thing ー i don't think most of people noticed a lot of them, but i sprinkled little details here and there in the fics and the images eheh... so yes this is an explanation post that no one asked but I WANTED TO MAKE ANYWAY SHUSH /silly

𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓊 ❬ masterlist ❭ 𐫱 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 ❬ taglist ❭

to clarify, yes, all the chapters in the series are sneak peeks of the numerous lives you've lived with zhongli (actual timeline not exactly in order as the chapters' releases). if you saw the masterlist, you might have noticed that the general tag said 'reincarnation!au' ;))

p.s. i think anyone who knows my selfship 'zhongrin' really well must have already noticed this, but yes the whole series is so zhongrin-coded bc i am an overindulgent shit but 1) it's hubby's bday and 2) it's my blog - so i'd like to think i get a free pass ✨ /smacked

𖧷 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

ー day 1: morax giving you pebbles / stones just like how you offered him one to befriend him [day 2]

ー day 4: fresh yellow hibiscus is the same flower your past self put inside a vase in your restaurant [day 3]

ー day 5: mention of golden hair ornament which you gave him [day 1]

ー day 6: dragon biting behavior defined as marking possessions / territories [day 2]

ー day 7: how his favorite slow-cooked bamboo shoots soup recipe originally comes from you [day 3] + marigolds being your choice of flowers [day 4]

𖧷 "𝓏𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝒾"

all the first letters (which is in a different font if you've noticed) in the series' works makes up "zhongli" (except the last one is basically just a heart emoji, hence 'love'). also, there are hidden letters in all the different headers' banners :3

𖧷 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

in the masterlist, if you put the dividers between the chapters together, it shows as this symbol:

which is basically zhongli's signature patterns in his clothing, accessories, hairclip, etc. and why i named the series as ♾️/6000+, which also fits with the whole 'i will spend an infinity with you out of my current 6000+ years of life' concept portrayed in the whole series 😌

i wonder which references did you manage to pick up on? hehe <3

#genshin impact #zhongli #∞ / 𝟔 𝟎 𝟎 𝟎 ⁺

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shame-is-a-wasted-emotion · 14 days ago

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Okay I have never made a post on this matter. So it's been almost 3 years since I've started writing fanfiction. Everything started from Glee. My first ever ship was Klaine (Kurt x Blaine) and I'm still hopelessly devoted to them. Through writing and reading fanfiction, I basically got more friends online than in real life (no for real) and I'm really happy for it.

Now there are two occasions for me to make this post :

1. It's been almost 3 years since I've entered into the world of fanfictions

2. I have attained 100 bookmarks among other things too.

This is basically a thank you post to all the sweet people I met through the fandoms ( Glee, Red White and Royal Blue, Hazbin Hotel) for being with me and supporting me all through these years through comments, kudos,prompts,beta reading , fanarts, etc... Life has been hard for me at many times but fanfiction has always been a supporting hand along with you guys. So it's a sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I was a Wattpad writer at start and I shifted to AO3 in 4-5 months (I guess?) At the beginning, my writing was horrible. I can't even imagine how horrible it was. If you want the proof, Just read one chapter of "One Step Closer" which was my first ever fic (it's on AO3). Now I guess I can write somewhat decently and I know I still have room to improve and I will. But I'm proud of what I've achieved so far. I've learnt so many new things about fandom and things and they really have helped me much .

Now all the pep talk aside (is my undiagnosed ADHD evident?) being in this fandom has made me realize much things about myself (including my sexuality). All I want to say at the end is:

Thank you

I hope I've been a tolerable person around, written some enjoyable works, and will try continue writing. Maybe try entering into other fandoms too. (I'm not leaving , don't get scared)

#personal #AO3 achievement #Im happy about it #thank you to everyone #from the bottom of my heart #i cant tag everyone #that would be awkward

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scoobydoodean · 6 months ago

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I've noticed people often point to Donatello as the model soulless person and then argue the sharp contrast between him and Sam as proof that deep down, Sam is just a really shitty guy who has terrible thoughts that he manages to keep under wraps only with a soul. I don't think this is that fair of a take.

I think using Donatello as the contrasting character is cherry-picking and that Donatello is a very poor comparison for Sam. Donatello is more of an exceptional soulless person than a rule. We see multiple examples in season 11 of other people losing their souls. Several go crazy and murder people like feral animals. None of them have the ability to feel right vs wrong—they just understanding the existence of the societal rules they've grown up with, and either accept those rules or don't based on what they believe is in their best interest. Previous traumas also seem to play a role.

Someone like Donatello has never been through anything traumatic that we know of, and he's just a professor. He has no need or incentive to kill anyone and no previous traumas that might induce him to want to harm anybody. Intellectually, he likely understands rules as a good way of maintaining societal order. He also understands that if he breaks the rules, he's going to get in trouble and lose his job, go to jail, etc. He isn't a fighter. He's just a professor and all he wants to be is a professor. The biggest moral quandary he deals with on a daily basis is whether to bump a student's course total up half a point to get them to the next letter grade. His goal is simply to continue being a professor. The rational option for him is to be a model citizen whether he can feel what the right thing is or only understands rules on an intellectual level.

The core thing soulless Sam tells you about Sam is that being a hunter is the occupation he finds most interesting (or else he'd go do something else that he found more intellectually fulfilling). All he cares about is killing monsters and capturing alphas and the intellectual fulfillment he feels when he clocks a witnesses lies (6.06) or solves the latest case puzzle. Fulfillment isn't nearly so cut and dry for Sam with a soul, because he has to deal with emotions which create more conflicting goals and desires than simple intellectual stimulation.

Hunters live lives where they are constantly faced with moral dilemmas that normal people will never face, and they know how to escape legal consequences. This is what makes soulless Sam such a dangerous hunter and why the outcome is so different from someone like Donatello. Soulless Sam's most rational option is not necessarily the societally acceptable one. Sometimes there is no societally acceptable option or any written rule that encompasses the complexity of the actual situation. Normally, hunters will "feel" out what's right and what's wrong in these situations. Soulless Sam identifies this ability as something he lacks. Sam recognizes this as a hindrance at first and wants Dean to fill that role for him (6.01, 6.06, 6.08). However, he also slowly begins to think that maybe other hunters are the problem and are hindered by their emotions and that he is better because he's capable of pure efficiency-based rationality. This is why he lies to Samuel, lies to Dean, and keeps secrets from Dean for Samuel (6.06, 6.07). He wants their help to reach his own goals, but increasingly sees their potential emotional reactions to his actions and each others actions as an inefficient hindrance that will impede the mission.

Letting a vamp turn Dean isn't something Sam with a soul would do or likely even think to do. This is the guy who went on two multi month revenge quests after his brother was killed (3.11, 4.01/4.09). With a soul, he cares about Dean's safety—even when he pretends he doesn't. He's hurt and killed people for hurting Dean or to keep Dean safe and he's been willing to hurt and kill more (example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4, example 5, example 6). Soulless Sam also has no reason to want Dean harmed unless it benefits him. There is nothing in him to love Dean, but there's also nothing in him to hate Dean. When he sees Dean being turned, and stops in his tracks, and smiles, it isn't actually because he's taking pleasure in seeing Dean being humiliated. There's nothing in him to feel hate toward Dean like that. Even hate like that would require a soul. Why Sam is smiling—what he's taking pleasure in—is seeing his plan come together—a solution to the issue of "find the alpha vampire". He immediately realizes he has an "in", and because Dean is merely a tool who can benefit him, his suffering that occurs in the process doesn't matter to the equation—just what Soulless Sam can get out of him. Using Dean, he's solved the latest intellectual puzzle. The same thing happens in 6.10 when Meg is on Dean's lap with a knife, making sexually suggestive commentary. Sam laughs—and Dean at first thinks it's because soulless Sam enjoys seeing him being treated that way, but Sam tells us he's laughing because he's figured Meg out—because he realizes she's desperate and scared of Crowley. Laughing at her takes also takes away her sense that she has the upper hand.

#soulless sam #6.10 #6.05 #season 6 #sams moral compass #pk rewatches spn number ?#donatello

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oceanwithinsblog · 5 months ago

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every day that passes we're getting closer and closer to the final episodes of doctor who s14 (or s1, whatever) (i'm also in denial WTH does it mean that this season is almost over ????)

so before i forget (and before the last two episodes drop) i NEED to vent a bit about this season. the following are just my personal opinions (which might change after watching the season finale), please bear with me ^^

first of all - i am so glad doctor who is back !!! i must admit that my doctor who drought lasted for around 5 months as i got introduced to the show back in late summer 2023 and did a speed run of all nuwho seasons between september and november 2023. i got super excited for the december specials !! and i was even more surprised and thrilled when i found out a new season of dw was premiering in may 2024 !! i know i've been lucky to wait for so little to get immersed in a new dw season but i truly, truly missed it and i enjoyed every episode of s14 <3 now i'm sad to think that this is about to end, but it felt so good to finally see the doctor back in action and to get through each week thinking that one of my favorite characters/storylines/universes was gonna be there for me on the weekend <3 i love dw so much <3

#2 idk about you but i fell so easily for ncuti as the doctor and millie as ruby/the companion TT they're both so good, i really appreciated their acting this season and i would also say that it's probably one the (few) things that positively shocked me this time around. i guess it was a bit unfair for me to think that ruby wasn't my cup of tea after watching just 'the church on ruby road' ep because she totally surprised me this season. she's so great! millie's acting is on point, so captivating and funny to watch throughout the show. i can't wait to find out more about her character fr! well, what's to say about ncuti as the doctor .. ohmy oh my .. i don't think i've ever seen a doctor so confident, so flirtatious, so proud in themselves .. ncuti's doctor exudes charisma and i'm so here for it. that's absolutely not to say that the doctor's worries, traums etc. magically disappear (they're still very present and influence their every move), but what i loved the most about his acting is that he goes all the way into it. fifteen may become one of my favorite doctors ngl (say hi to eleven and ten) and i am so looking forward to where they're gonna take us next <3

#3 as for writing, i feel that something's missing ... don't get me wrong, i love rtd's cool nice funny episodes and seeing the doctor face a range of diverse situations (even the most unthinkable ones, e.g. space babies) is just priceless.. but there's some kind of void in it, too. now that i think about it, maybe it's not the writing itself but the length of the season - having less than 10 episodes doesn't really give us much time and space to properly explore the dynamics between characters, strengthen their relationships and make them grow both individually and as a whole. besides, i admit that i'm a bit biased, but i loved (most of) moffat's writing for the seasons he was a showrunner of and i personally would love to see ncuti bringing to life more stories written by moffat (yes..i know he wrote 'boom' for s14). basically, i miss 'old' nuwho seasons of 18+ episodes where we could get even more affectionate to the characters and the adventures that defined their journey through the multiverse T___T

before i move on to my last point, may i also add (storyline-wise) that i wished the episodes were more interconnected with each other? not necessarily with the narration, even just with easter eggs ^^" idk maybe moffat got me used to have high expectations lol (i'm still eager to find out who the lady appearing in all episodes is !!!! may this dw finale give us all the answers we need)

#4 i would have never thought i would write this (mainly because i would have never thought there could come a time when these gadget weren't going to be used as much) BUT I DEARLY MISS THE TARDIS AND THE SCREWDRIVER WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM ?!?!?! i loved previous doctors goofing around with their sonic screwdrivers and running in the tardis allowing us (the audience) to find out more and more about the endless number of rooms in it ... why does it seem like fourteen doesn't love their tools ?? why don't they show them more throughout the season ?? this is like classic items that can't miss in the episodes so WERE IS THAT SILLY GOOFY STUFF ?? also, as much as i enjoy fourteen and ruby going on adventures in different time periods etc. why aren't they EVER showed inside the TARDIS travelling and waiting to get to their destination ?? i'm just very nostalgic (i took this very personally, i'm sorry i'm just angry at rtd)

well - i guess that's it! if you've read this far, thank you for reading me <3 let me know what you think about it and what you're expecting for the next couple episodes of s14 <3

ps. i'm very hopeful that rogue will be a recurring character <3

pps. ncuti gave the queers the most fruity doctor ever (no shade to all previous doctors, you've served and delivered and we love u immensiely) <33

#doctor who #bbc dw #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #rogue #fifteen x rogue #rtd2 #rtd2 era #doctor who s14 #rant post #personal rant #excuse my rambling #4771

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sirkusdyretbooks · 5 months ago

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The last week these two books have hardly been out of my hands, I've been reading on the bus, in a park, on the bus stop, on a flight of stairs, co-reading with a friend, and whenever the opportunity arose. You see I watched the Netflix show right after handing in my Bachelor and thus got quite curious about the books written by Julia Quinn, and yes I couldn't wait to see the conclusion of Season 3. However, I was fairly surprised, as the books are extremely different from the Netflix show. So, here's my rambling about the two books, because I do love to ramble.

I do think most of the Bridgerton books can be read in any order as you deem fit, but continuing over to book 5 from book 4 naturally seems the best choice as they happen so close to one another. In fact book 5 overlapping with book 4's timeline in it's end, which however also does not do book 5 justice due to inconsistencies between the stories. I am just going to come out with it, as it actually bothered me quite a bit, as book 4 ends on the sentence "And no one saw them for several days" (before the epilogue). Yet, in book 5 Colin leaves Penelope to the country with his three brothers only 2-3 days after the end of the 4th book. 2-3 days is not "several days", at least not to me, and you would think at least Colin might have brought Penelope with him up to the country due to how book 4 ended. It just bothers me greatly.

Adding: Eloise NEVER finds out about her best friend Penelope being Lady Whistledown in any of these books.

Bridgerton Book 4: Romancing Mr Bridgerton

First of all, the three Featherington sisters have a younger sister, Felicity Featherington who has started her season upon the start of "Romancing Mr Bridgerton". Second, it's been over ten years since Daphne's and Simon's story, (which is the book I am currently reading), and Hyacinth is also out for her first season.

I really enjoy that time has passed. Penelope being almost 28, and she's basically a spinster at this point, together with Eloise whom has contracted her own little hobby to Colins dismay. Colin even think his sister is Lady Whistledown, and of course, we do not even get to know who Lady Whistledown actually is until Colin is the one to figure it out on accident.- Colin being too pre-occupied paying attention to Penelope, who is used to no one paying attention to her.

The carriage ride in season 3 actually is the carriage ride after Penelope was caught and they had a huge fight where Colin is upset about her putting herself in danger, going to such "shady parts of London" by herself, in which turns into quite the scandalous make-out session of course. In which at the end of the carriage ride Colin ask Penelope to be his wife. (Adding as I just watched episode six: They DID adapt it, but not of course the same way, here I enjoy the books version more).

I do have to comment, I absolutely love seeing more of Colins point of view, he is much more of a person in the book, as inner monologues do sadly not transfer well into tv. One parts of his human sides that I love and hate at the same time, is his love for food, he's always eating.

Here I will stop comparing it to the netflix show (and I shall enjoy the rest of the show when I do watch it).

The drama unfolding after is of course quite a thing, because it is of course not just Lady Whistledowns possible exposure by Cressida Twombley, who wishes to extort Penelope from all her Whistledown money, but also Colins jealousy towards his brothers and also fiancé for "having purpose", finding trust and support in his author-wife for his journals, which is absolutely lovely.

I really loved this book quite much.

Bridgerton Book 5: To Sir Phillip with Love

From the shock of Eloise's spinster friend Penelope marrying her brother Colin, thus no longer being a fellow-spinster she finds herself in a desperate need to maybe find something for herself as well.

Thus taking the recently widowed Sir Phillip Crane's invitation to heart, months even after it arrived, but just having to get away from her family, disappearing from the ball hosted by the Duke and Dunchess of Hastings, the very night Lady Whistledown was exposed, in which Eloise never found out of course. Showing up at Sir Phillip's door the morning after.

Sir Phillip wishes to find a new wife due to his dear Marina sadly passing away the year prior, due to being "melancholy". Especially, due to his twin children needing a mother. In which he hopes to find in Eloise. Eloise however, never was told of these two eight-year olds in the letters between them, but growing up with seven siblings, where three of them have had more than two children each, she is quite used to children at this point, which makes it not the worst match. However, the children are quite unruly, and are known for being absolute demons.

Having basically ran away from home, of course four Bridgerton men soon show up at Sir Phillips's door, demanding an explanation (Why Colin wouldn't bring Penelope is beyond me). Having been "alone" with a man for two days, Eloise is now of course un-marriageable, even if the only thing that happened was an eccentric kiss, and Anthony Bridgerton demands a marriage between them. In which Eloise wouldn't mind...had it not been for her brother's meddling hands. Sir Phillip is quite happy, Eloise will of course be a splendid mother to his twins. While Eloise wonders if this could at some point, maybe eventually be a marriage with love.

Another thing that bothered me in this book, was how Eloise wishes to speak to her sisters, especially Daphne for advice, but does not even mention Penelope. It almost seems like she has forgotten about her best friend, until the end of the book, where she gives birth to her first child, in which she names Penelope, after her best friend. Being the stubborn Bridgerton-woman she is and not naming her children in alphabetical order.

I was less of a fan of book 5 than book 4, but it was for sure enjoyable, and I do plan on reading the entire series, because why not? Everyone needs some British housewife porn in their lives.

#bridgerton #romancing mister bridgerton #to sir philip with love #bridgerton book 4 #bridgerton book 5 #books #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton netflix #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #eloise bridgerton #sir phillip crane #eloise x phillip #2024books #2024 #reading

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spuffybaby · 18 days ago

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Time to Heal (1)

I'm writing this mainly for myself to cope with all the post series finale emotions in my system. I've never written Spuffy, I originally come from different fandoms, but in case someone enjoys this, I'll leave it here. Set a few months after the battle at the Sunnydale Hellmouth.

chapter links: (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

The moon was bright, not quite full, not yet full enough to worry about, as she walked between the graves, catching a glimpse of a year here, a name there, sometimes she read them, wondered about them, whenever she had a moment. It wasn't like there was much need to patrol, there were few new additions to the cemetery, and the closest Hellmouth was far enough away. It was, however, one of many nights during which she'd thought actual patrolling could give her a sense of duty, something to keep her mind from wandering. During the day, it was easy, doing research, helping newly called Slayers, even with the burden shared, her sacred duty remained. But nights such as this, they'd become frequent than she liked. It had been months since Willow's spell and the activation of other Slayers all over the world, she had taken time and effort to do right by them, to teach those who asked whatever she could, but still, her new way of life, after she had got so used to sacrificing so much of it, she still had not quite managed to settle into a routine.

Dawn had offered to come out with her, but she'd told her sister she wanted to clear her head. Earlier that day, in a coffee shop she'd come to like and visit often, a man had asked her for her number. She'd politely declined. It wasn't like she'd never been asked out, nor that she'd never turned somebody down, but it was the first time since Sunnydale. It brought back the image in her mind she'd managed to escape for a few hours.

Spike. How he stood in her darkened kitchen in her mother's house, his hand on the door knob, ready to accept that then had not been the time. “After this is over,-” she'd said, under her breath, unsure of how to continue. He maybe hadn't heard, maybe hadn't understood, hadn't dared to hope in that particular moment. In her own mind, things could not have been more clear. No, then had not been the moment. Things had happened, she needed time. He needed time. But she could see where they were headed, if things evolved slowly, if they continued to find their way back to each other, without her taking advantage, without him pushing, without her using him as a punching bag, without him just wanting her. They'd been headed towards what she never had thought could happen. And then, Angel had taken him from her. He never had intended to wear the amulet, the same way Spike had never hesitated despite the unknown consequences. Her bloody champion. She never would forget the look on his face, the realisation that she recognised him as the champion, when she handed him the amulet confidently. When she'd led him to his death. She'd seen his soul, felt it between their palms, and yet, he'd died not believing that she loved him.

A loud growl and she was knocked from her feet, falling hard onto her back, gasping for the air that was momentarily knocked from her lungs. She blocked her attacker, her eyes staring into a pair of glowing black ones, the demon above her unlike any she had seen before, she remembered vaguely seeing something similar in the book, hairy, though covered in slime, and she tried to free her hand to reach for her dagger, beautiful silver, a present from Giles. She knocked the demon back and it fell against one of the gravestones, though before she could rise to her feet, make her attack, it jumped onto her again, her weapon flying from her hand, her stake rolling to her side, her wrists restricted by the claws of the demon, her neck exposed as it leaned to bite and she could not break free, despite forcing er full strength against the monster above her and behind it, another approached. She tried desperately to trash against the grip, gasping when she heard a shriek and she could move her arms again.

For a moment, she wondered if she'd been scratched, bitten, somehow impacted to hallucinate, as she could have sworn she saw a white head of hair fly by. No, her mind was playing tricks on her. She grabbed her dagger in one hand, the stake in the other, then jumped to her feet and charged at the newly arrived demon, kicking its face and making it tumble, the element of surprise on her side as she trapped it against a tree, without second thought or strategy plunging the dagger into its neck which made it growl loudly in pain and she pulled the weapon out, stepping back before stabbing it again, twice before it fell motionless to the floor.

She spun around, ready take on the other, a blow to her face rendering her off balance and she fell back, a sharp pain against her forehead as she hit the ground, the demon approaching in her blurry vision. Blindly, she searched for the dagger which could not have gone far, but braced herself for impact, attempting to roll away as she pressed her hand against the throbbing feeling on her forehead.

She thought she was about to lose consciousness when the demon screamed, blood bubbling from its mouth and before she fully realised someone actually had fought alongside her, the demon fell forward by her feet and behind him, a blurry figure stepped into view, extending a hand to her.

Between the blood and the dirt, she smelled something else, something familiar. Her mind was toying with her, she was passing out.

He cleared his throat.

She forced her eyes open, saw the defined jaw, the bleach blond hair she'd thought she'd already been able to make out moments before. This was cruel. She stayed awake, yet she saw him right there. God, what would she have given for this to be real? How many times had she dreamt about this? During the night and during the day.

Her heart sank. Sunnydale was buried and yet, it clearly wasn't over. All that loss, all that sacrifice – had it been for nothing?

“I thought we defeated you,” she spat through gritted teeth. “Haven't you had enough?” She winced in pain at her own voice, her head heavy. She wondered if she was bleeding. At least it could not attack her. And she would not be manipulated. “You don't deserve taking his form.” Tears stang in her eyes, from the pain in her head and from the cruel irony. He'd died for nothing. Here the First was, ridiculing his sacrifice and taunting her in her grief.

“Buffy.” A voice she had not heard for months. It hurt, made it feel like her heart broke all over again. Dawn had said that the pain would ease, but this hurt worse than day two.

“I won't be manipulated. Don't waste your non-existent breath.” She had to get to the other Slayers, she had to tell someone. Things were going to start all over again. She was exhausted. She tried to gather her strength. “Leave me, it's not like you can touch me.”

“Buffy.” He sounded more insistent this time, his hand was still there, close enough for her to take and fingers wiggling slightly.

Her eyes widened. The smell of cologne. The dead demon by her side. With all the strength she had left, she forced her body upward enough to reach for the pale hand, a choked out sob coming from her throat when the cool palm wrapped tangibly around her fingers and pulled her gently but steadily to her feet. “No.”

He drew his hand away as soon as she stood somewhat balanced, the corner of his mouth curled into a half-smile. “I'm real. It's me, Slayer. I'm not the First. And I'm ready to explain. I know you have no reason to believe I'm not... something else. But please... I'm not. Let me prove it.”

She took a step back, brushing her hair from her face. “Am I bleeding?”

He pressed his lips together. “You are, pet. Let me take you home.”

“You're not real,” she mumbled. Maybe she was lying there. She turned around to where she'd been on the ground, half-expecting to see herself in the grass. There was only the body of the demon. “You died.”

He couldn't help but chuckle. “You're one to talk.”

The sound made her tremble. Hell, if it wasn't him, it was doing a good enough job for her to enjoy the moment, to pretend. But she had to know better. “How did you find me? Convenient, you showing up when I was about to become demon dessert.”

“Pure luck, love.” He shrugged it off. “Trust me, it took quite some time. Finding you.”

She opened her mouth, but he cut her off, continued speaking.

“But I'll explain it all, answer any question you have.” He leaned forward, though then stepped back. “I-...” He swallowed. His eyes were tired, but fixated on her face. “I just want to make sure you're alright first.”

Buffy pursed her lips. She wanted to wake up. Her guard was up and she was too cautious to get lost in the mirage. As much as she wished it, she knew it could not be true. What if she pretended for just a little while? How bad could it get?

He sensed her hesitation. “Hey.”

She sank to her knees, saw him follow without missing a beat, the leather pooling on the ground around him.

“Look at me.”

She did as he requested. His eyes were so familiar, surely no one could copy them exactly like that, their intensity, their unique depth that had never failed to make her heart skip a beat when she looked directly into them.

“Your last words to me were...” He paused. “You told me you loved me.”

“I-”

“I'm not done. I just want you to know it's me. So we can get you somewhere safe. Don't want you to be go anywhere alone in this condition.” His eyes remained on hers. “The night before, I told you I was terrified because of how we spent the night before. And then we did it again that very night. I left and you said that maybe after the battle...”

She hadn't imagined it. He'd heard it. He'd taken it in. He was here. Spike.

He rose to his feet again, the leather duster shuffling. He held out both his hands and she took them without hesitation that time, letting him pull her up.

“You don't have to trust me. Let me just get you home for now.”

Buffy took a deep breath, knew she should not stare at his face any longer. She could no longer fight it. She deserved this, hallucination or not. “Okay.”

A small smile played around his lips, relief in his eyes as she moved. “Lead the way, pet.”

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