#IT SHOULD BE SO EASY!!! DOING THINGS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY!!!

[jayybugg]

always been you

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader based on Always Been You by Chris Grey

Summary: Breaking things off should be easy.....right?

Warnings: Smut, Language, maybe a little angsty?? Not really sure. Mattheo is a little mean, but not to you.

Word Count: 3.2K

Music:

Note: I love writing fics based on songs. Probably one of my favorite things to do, I actually wrote this in June, right before my birthday, but my computer crashed, and that file got lost. I prefer this version of it better, though, so I think it was the better. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, enjoy!

Banner by @cafekitsune

You crossed my mind, a few miles ago, turned on your street, thinking I’m headed home

Mattheo chucked the butt of his cigarette to the ground as he walked through the empty corridors of the castle. Unaware of his location, he turned the corner to be met with steep stairs that he knew led to your common house door.

He narrowed his eyes at the dark path in front of him. His feet and heart were begging and urging him to continue. To get to your door, to see you, to touch you, to hear your voice. If Mattheo could smack himself, he would. He was supposed to be going to his dorm to meet some blonde chick he flirted with at a party weeks ago. A distraction, he was supposed to be going to see his distraction.

Yet, here he was, unconsciously going to you like some lost puppy who couldn’t bear to be without his owner. Mattheo continued to glare at the path before scoffing and turning away to make his way to his dorm. Ignoring the pang in his heart, he slipped another cigarette out of the pack and lit it.

How pathetic…. all this over a stupid girl.

It’s late in the night, I hope you’re alone, and nobody is there holding you close, and I tried to love again, now I’m right back at your door

He couldn’t help it. You were plaguing his mind like some disease.

Even as he gripped the hips and thrust into the blonde from behind, his mind still wandered to you. He thought about what you could be doing at this moment. Were you up reading those stupid romance books that you liked so much? Or were you watching some scripted reality show that you always gossiped about with Pansy? Or maybe you were cuddled up with some fucker like some lame-ass couple?

Or worse, instead of being laid up, what if you were in the same position as this blonde? Were you with some other guy? Letting him fuck you? Letting him get a taste of what belonged to Mattheo?

It was the small yelp of pain from the blonde that brought Mattheo back to reality. His grip was brutal on the small girl’s hips, a bruise already forming in its wake. Mattheo loosened his grip, but his pace increased, fast and rough as if he was trying fuck his anger out on the poor girl who had no idea what was going on in his mind.

“M-Matty-” The blonde moaned out. If Mattheo wasn’t thinking about you, then he was definitely thinking about you now at the use of your nickname for him. He muttered, “Don’t call me that.” Another sharp thrust making her moan, caused him to speak again, “And shut the fuck up. Your moans are annoying.”

That’s how Mattheo’s days carried on. Forcing himself not to go to you at all hours of the day and fucking anybody to get you out of his mind.

Was it working?

Not really, but Mattheo was beyond the point of actually giving a fuck. He needed to let you go; he had to let you go. Especially because he was the one who ended the friends-with-benefits arrangement, despite knowing all that, Mattheo didn’t stop watching you. His eyes were on you whenever he had the chance to. Drinking in your figure, your face, your everything.

“Merlin, you look like the biggest creep around. Stop staring at her like you want to eat her alive.” Theo’s voice broke Mattheo’s trance. His dark brown eyes met his friend’s deep blue ones as he took a seat next to him and lit a cigarette.

“I don’t want to eat her alive.” Yes, he does. Anything to have you remotely close to him. “And I don’t look like a creep, and I wasn’t even staring at her.” Mattheo scoffed, folding his arms as he leaned against one of the pillars in the Clocktower Courtyard.

“Yeah, right.” Theo snorted, blowing his smoke, “Why’d you even break it off with her? Thought shit was going well for you both?”

“Too attached,” Mattheo said curtly. Luckily for Mattheo, he didn’t specify which one of them was getting too attached because, truth be told, it wasn’t you that got attached, it was him.

Theo didn’t speak again, giving Mattheo a small noise of acknowledgment. Mattheo’s eyes focused back on you as you laughed with your friends. A small frown tethered on his lips as he watched you. Why the fuck were you so happy? Why aren’t you drowning in misery like he is?

You seemed so unbothered by the fact that Mattheo had broken things off with you. Almost as if you never cared, and it made Mattheo’s blood boil because all he could think about was you.

That’s why he came to your dorm. He needed to know how you forgot about him so quickly. He needed you to teach him. He knocked on your door loud enough that if you were in your dorm, then you heard him.

The door flung open to reveal you to Mattheo. His eyes didn’t hesitate to trail down your body before meeting your eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?” Mattheo asked gruffly.

You raised an eyebrow at him, obviously trying to understand the boy’s audacity. “What are you doing here, Mattheo?”

For the first time in his life, Mattheo didn’t have an answer.

I know in the end, it’s always been you, you, oh, I got everything to lose, you, it’s always been you

Your eyes stayed trained on Mattheo; he felt like his heart would be ripped out of his chest if he stood in front of you any longer. Without any words, Mattheo turned on his heels and walked away from your door. He felt your eyes follow him until he was out of your sight.

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t answer you. When did it become so difficult to get what he wanted? What did he even want?

You.

He wanted you. Deep down, he knew that. His friends knew it, your friends knew it, and the whole school probably knew it. The only person who probably didn’t know it was you because, in your eyes, Mattheo was the emotionless prick who couldn’t settle down to save his life.

Mattheo wasn’t used to having nice things. Everything came at a price for him. He couldn’t, and maybe wouldn’t, wrap his head around the idea that you want him for nothing in exchange for his love. He could never bring himself to care about anyone outside of his friends, but you somehow crawled your pretty ass into his heart and plagued him every moment he wasn’t with you.

You’re just fucking attached, Mattheo, it’s pathetic.

The voice in his head sounded eerily like his father. He hated it; he hated it more than he hated how infectious you were to him. He reached into his pocket once he reached the courtyard, the cold air of night pinching his face as he pulled out a cigarette. He lit it, inhaling, then exhaling in a shaky breath.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He has never been so torn up about a girl like this before. He knew he wanted you, but what about you did he want?

Did he want your corny jokes? The ones you would tell him every morning, the ones that never failed to gain a snort from him.

Or maybe he wanted your pretty smile? That same pretty smile that he envisioned every time he closed his eyes. The same smile that made his heart flutter weirdly whenever he saw it. The same smile that made him jealous whenever he saw it directed at anyone other than him.

Or was it your voice? Merlin, your voice. So soft and sultry. Always said his name so sweetly, even when you were annoyed at him for some reason. Your voice that lets out the prettiest moans for him when he had you on your back with your legs prompted on his shoulders.

Mattheo groaned, rubbing his temples from the pending headache that always came when he thought too hard about you, which was all the time. He threw his cigarette down, crushing the lit cherry of it under his boot. He made his way to the Slytherin dorms, looking for his next distraction.

Staring eye to eye, I can’t look away, spent so much time apart, still nothing’s changed

Mattheo was once again staring into your eyes. He was drowning in them as you plopped into the seat across from him in the Transfiguration classroom. His eyes followed every moment of yours, from your hands that opened your notebook to your plump lips that moved as you spoke.

You were speaking. You were speaking to him.

He blinked as he registered your voice, the sound making his heart jump and his cock twitch. A weird combination, but a combination that made sense for him. You frowned at him, your eyes unamused by the lack of attention that you were receiving from the curly, brown-headed boy. “Are you even listening to me, Riddle?” You crossed your arms, your eyes narrowed accusingly.

Merlin, her eyes were so fucking pretty. “Since when do you call me ‘Riddle’?” Mattheo licked his lips as he finally spoke. You scoffed, slamming your hands down on the table. “Is that all you can respond to? If you can’t focus or won’t focus, I’ll tell McGonagall to switch us for the project.”

“No!” Mattheo rushed out, “I can focus. I promise.”

That was a fucking lie.

Mattheo couldn’t focus at all. Not when he sat in your dorm for the first time since he ended things with you. It was overwhelming, from your scent to the closeness of you two on your bed. The only thing running through Mattheo’s mind was pushing you back on the bed and diving his head between your legs to taste you.

He was trying, Merlin, he was, but he just couldn’t. Not when you were in front of him in spandex shorts that made your ass look so good and a tank top that revealed that you had no bra on. Were you trying to torture him? Some sort of sick punishment for how he went about ending things?

He exhaled loudly, causing your eyes to snap up to him in a slight look of annoyance. “If you don’t want to do this, then you can leave. Nobody is forcing you to be here.” You said.

Is that what you thought he was thinking about right now? Leaving you? As if.

“Nobody is annoyed, doll.” He said, “Trust me.”

He met your eyes, the room suddenly intensifying around them. Your eyes darted across his face as if you were trying to pick out the lie in his features. “Right.” You muttered.

A silence took over the room as you both continued to stare at each other. Mattheo’s heart was beating out of his chest. He just wanted to lean over and kiss you. He wanted to hear you whisper his name in his ear. He wanted you.

Fuck it.

I find nirvana inside of your love, baby girl, nobody was enough, oh, I tried to love again but a part of me was yours

Mattheo’s lips crashed against yours, expecting you to immediately push him away, but much to his surprise, you kissed him back. He moaned at the simple feeling of your lips against his. The murkiness in his mind had cleared, with you being the only thing on his mind.

He pushed you back on the bed, lips still attached as he felt his body and heart become whole again. He had been suffering for months when all he needed to do was kiss you. He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your jaw to your neck as his hands slipped under your tank top to cup your breasts.

“Mattheo.” You whispered. A groan involuntarily fell from Mattheo’s mouth when he heard it as he continued to kiss down your collarbone, his fingers massaging your hardened nipples. “Mattheo.” You whispered again, “We shouldn’t-”

“No.” Mattheo breathed out against your shoulder. His curls hid his dark eyes from you as his fingers pinched your nipples. A small yelp filled the air as Mattheo planted a kiss on your shoulder. “I don’t care if you kick me out right after or punch me for whatever reason. I don’t care. I want this; I need this.” He whispered.

He sat up, his eyes meeting yours once again. There was nothing but lust, honesty, and vulnerability swirling in them. You blinked up at him before nodding slowly. “Okay.”

Mattheo didn’t waste any more time. Mainly because he was so desperate but also because he was scared if he waited a second longer, you would change your mind. He lifted your shirt up, pulling it over your head, and throwing it to some unknown part of your room. His lips latched onto your left nipple, his hands traveling past the waistband of your shorts. He whined, he fucking whined, when he felt that you had no underwear on. “You’re fucking torturing me, doll.” He mumbled, moving to give your right nipple the same amount of attention.

“I didn’t...I didn’t do anything.” You whimpered, a soft gasp following as two of his fingers slid into you with ease. Mattheo came back up, his eyes meeting yours, his lips only inches from yours as his fingers plunged deeper into you with each thrust. Your moans were hitting his lips like a hit of ecstasy. “That’s the fucking problem.” He mumbled.

His fingers curled inside of you, your back arching, and a loud whine from you as a result. “You have been torturing me for these past few months, and you don’t even know.” He mumbled, “It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“M-Mattheo...”

“Stop calling me that.” Mattheo demanded, pulling his fingers out of you and your shorts. He ignored your whine as he yanked your shorts down, throwing them in the same direction as your tank top.

He scooted down, pushing your thighs apart to further reveal your leaking pussy to him. Another moan fell from him as he ran a finger down your folds, gathering some of your wetness up. He lifted his finger to his mouth, sucking it lightly. Your eyes were trained on him as you let out a sound that Mattheo couldn’t quite identify. “Mattheo is your name.” You finally gathered enough brain power to respond.

“Not to you. You know what I want you to call me.” He mumbled. Mattheo leaned in, running his tongue down your folds. You let out a loud moan, your hands flying to his hair. “Y-You said you hated the nickname ‘Matty’.” You whispered, your eyes fluttering close.

“I want to hear it.” Mattheo said, blowing on your clit, causing a shiver to run down your body. He licked down your folds again, this time faster, as he looked up at you. “Open your eyes, doll. Open your eyes and say my name.” He whispered, swirling his tongue around your clit before sucking on it lightly.

Your moans were uncontrollable at this point, and you had no choice but to obey his wish. “Matty.” You breathed out, “Fuck, Matty...”

A smile graced his face as he pulled away, pushing his two fingers back into you. “That’s my good slut. Always did know how to follow directions.” He whispered. His lips reattached to your clit, sucking lightly and swirling his tongue around it.

Your moans filled the room as your fingers tightly gripped his hair. He wasn’t going to stop until he ripped an orgasm from you. He would die if he didn’t get you to cum on his tongue. “I know you’re close, doll. Don’t hold out on me, please. Cum on my tongue, I need it.”

You whined as you held his head closer to your clit, your orgasm leaking onto his tongue. He licked it up eagerly, pleased to clean up the pretty mess that he had made. When he sat up, he yanked his shirt off, following his sweatpants and boxers. He watched as your eyes seemed glued to cock, hard and already desperately leaking with pre-cum. Mattheo climbed back on top of you, holding the shaft of his cock as he ran it up and down your folds.

“You’re soaked.” He whispered against your lips, his forehead pressed against yours, “Did you miss me?”

You took a deep breath. “What does it matter? You...You wouldn’t care regardless.”

You thought he didn’t care? If he wasn’t in the middle of sinking his cock inside of you, he probably would have given you a serious response. Instead, all that tumbled out his mouth was, “Just answer me.”

He pushed his cock into you, a groan escaping his lips. “I missed you.” He whispered, “If that makes any difference in your answer.”

He moved his hips slowly, hitting deep inside of you. The act of it all was sensual, intimate. As if Mattheo was trying to make this moment last as long as possible. Your soft moans brushed against his lips, causing his heartbeat to race. “You should miss me.” You whispered, “You’re the one who ended things.”

He was. Merlin, he was the idiot who ended things. “I know.” He whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Mattheo gave her a deep thrust, getting a moan in return. He kissed her jaw, his hips moving a bit faster but keeping a deep pace. “I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” He repeated in your ear. “I’ve missed your pretty self, doll. So fucking much.”

Mattheo didn’t know what was taking over him. The feeling of being inside you again, or if the intimacy of it all was making his true feelings spill out.

“Matty.” You whispered. His hips moved with more urgency as if he was trying to fuck his remorse into you. “I mean it, doll.” He whispered, “I’m fucking sorry and I’ve fucking missed you.”

You tightened around him, making his moan in your ear. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just....fuck, doll.” Mattheo mumbled, his words spilling out quickly. He was so drunk, on you, on your love, on your pussy. His thrusts were getting sloppy, and you were clenching around more and more. “Cum with me, doll. Please. I fucking need it.” Mattheo pleaded.

You met his eyes, nodding. “I am, Matty... I am.” You said.

Your moans mixed with his groans as you both came together. His seed filled you as your juices coated his cock and soaked the sheets underneath. Mattheo pressed his lips to yours, passionately and desperately.

I know in the end, it’s always been you, you, oh, I got everything to lose, you, it always, been you

It all made sense to Mattheo now.

With your head lying on his chest as your light snores filled your room, Mattheo’s mind was clearer than it had been in the past few months. He was attached. That was the only answer.

He wasn’t just attached to you. He was obsessed and in love with you.

Mattheo couldn’t hide it or deny it to himself anymore, and he honestly didn’t want to. There was no point in doing that. The only person he had to convince was you.

It had always been you. Always.

[kaija-rayne-author]

DAV is maximized (made for?) Tank/Warrior players

Curiosity is absolutely one of my fatal flaws. I was sorta feeling shitty about the whole 'you probably just suck at the fighting system in DAV' thing.

Let me preface this with saying that I'm good with rogues. It's my usual playstyle and I almost always do a first run of any RPG as a rogue.

What I'm really not all that good at? Tanks. Pretty much any other class I'm at least suitably competent with. I mean, I can tank, but it's just not something I'm more than acceptably good at. I also have very little experience with them. I think I've tanked in 3 games? Out of the, it must be hundreds, of games I've played? I just don't prefer to tank. I'm a rogue/mage/healer style player. The one who backs up the tank or keeps them on their feet, y'know?

So, because curiosity will likely be the death of me at some point, and despite never wanting to touch it again, I made a warrior character in DAV. I just... had to know if it was me or the game. I suppose I enjoy actually being a good gamer more than I suspected. DAV offended my pride, perhaps. Self-awareness isn't comfortable.

That fighting system, that I had so much trouble with as a rogue (with other rogues and a mage as backup since we don't get our tank companions til later in act one) has, so far, been so fucking easy as a warrior I'm actually thinking of increasing the difficulty level.

DAV is just maximized for warrior players and people who like to bash barrels in, not any other class. Which is just shitty game design.

I suppose I should have seen it before. The rest of the companions you start with are all support characters. Two rogues and a mage. Your first companion you aquire is Bellara, also a rogue. Oops. Mage. Bellara is a mage. I forgor.

I dunno, I'm going to run this character until I get to the spot (when Harding receives her special ability) where I first wanted to rage quit as a rogue. But so far? I haven't died once. I'd gotten creamed numerous times as a rogue character by this spot in the game. I can go toe to fucking toe with a fucking ogre! And only have to heal once!

It's truly ridiculous. I'll test out mage after, if I can find the patience. It's reasonably unlikely that I'll actually decide to finish this run. Unless I do it for writing my fix it fic reasons . But I can kinda see more clearly why some people actually liked it. It's actually almost fun as a tank.

I did also say I'd never touch DAV again too, though, soooooo.

If you turn your brain completely off, don't give a shit about the Lore, and if the story is a back seat sort of thing for you as a gamer, this might actually be somewhat fun. It's not Dragon Age regardless, they screwed the pooch to sell the pups on that one. (I'm a Lore fiend, story and character first player. I legitimately don't give a shit about the fighting in RPGs. It's a back seat thing for me. As long as I can make it work, I'm good.)

SMDH

I said DAV was wickedly unbalanced in my review series, but I didn’t think it was so bad that they... just didn't bother to make it a fun game for rogue players. Despite them getting rid of half of what makes playing a rogue fun (sneaking, hiding in shadows, picking fucking locks, y'know, rogue stuff.) Not sure about mages yet. I do want to try one just out of pissed off, irritated curiosity, though.

Snorts. They made this game for warrior players. And I can't honestly find words to describe how shitty that is. It lacks most of the stuff that makes any RPG an actual RPG. It's maximized for warriors and people who like to destroy barrels. (Why. Why the fucking barrels?) Rogues are nothing but light skirmishers. I'll have to actually play a mage and see, but I've talked to people who said it's easy as a mage, too.

WTAF does BioWare have against rogue players to nerf the class so badly?

I'm honestly floored by how easy this game is as a warrior. I'll even test it out on max difficulty, (which is usually what I play at, max or one down).

But the shittiness of designing a game mostly for tank players can't be ignored. I changed nothing but the class. And I'm not far enough into the game yet for build to matter that much. I think I've gotten roughly 5 skill points to put into my character.

No wonder they denied game keys to honest reviewers.

[blueflamebimbo]

CHAPTER 2: SCRAPES

𓆩♡𓆪 ──"VITAMIN DARLING": KAMINARI DENKI X READER

A/N: Part 2 of "Vitamin Darling", my childhood friends to lovers drabble collection, all thanks to my love for Denki. In this chapter, we find out how Denki taught you more than one lesson, when you were seven years old.

Warnings: f!reader, mention of minor skateboard injuries.

Word count: 1,135

𓆩♡𓆪 ── back to Vitamin Darling masterlist

You're seven years old when Kaminari Denki takes you by the hand and drags you to the empty parking lot behind his house. It’s the summer of your first year of primary school, and although it is terrifying to start anew, the burden is lightened by your best friend; Denki is just as nervous, but he has been there to hold your hand the entire time. Such are the benefits of ending up in the same class together.

Ever since you met him in kindergarten, Denki has been somewhat of a constant in your life. Your mother and his have gotten so close that they've started going on shopping trips without the children being involved, your father and his have become permanent tennis buddies, and even your cat seems to like the yellow-haired boy more than he likes your brother. Granted, your brother is a bit of a butt-head, so that's not too surprising.

Denki places the skateboard down onto the concrete ground and beams at you expectantly. It’s impressive how much he has changed in three short years. No longer a blubbering mess, the boy has gained some confidence.

"It's because you're my friend," he explained as he was pushing you on the swings in his backyard, a few weeks ago. "Things aren't as scary when you've got good friends, ya know?"

Denki is half an inch shorter than you are, but sometimes even you have to admit that you look up to him. It’s like he has an infinite pool of positivity to draw from, these days, and it's contagious, like he's some type of happiness vitamin. Besides, Denki says he can feel a growing spurt coming. Supposedly, he can feel it in his toes. Personally, you think it's just another wart growing on his big toe, but you don't have the heart to tell him he should probably throw out his old shoes and get new ones. The bright blue converse sneakers on his feet have holes in them, but he says they're his lucky pair - they help him skate better.

He's still looking at you expectantly as his right foot rolls the skateboard back and forth, and he’s holding out a hand now.

"I can hold your hand while you try it out, if it's too scary," he offers.

With a petulant huff, you roll your eyes and confidently stride up to the board.

"Who says I'm scared?!"

Denki grins, as he usually does, and explains where to put your feet.

Skating is one of the only things you don't do together. There's a couple of boys in your class who are quite good at it, and they taught Denki how to do it after school at the beginning of the year. That was three months ago, and it's starting to gnaw at you how much you're feeling left out. It doesn't make sense to you, either. Surely, if you put your mind to it, you can master this and join them from time to time. After all, if boys can do it, how hard can it be?

As it turns out, it's not as easy as it looks. The wheels on the board are far too slippery. Are they even supposed to roll that fast? You've barely put your foot on when the board slides forward and puts you on your ass.

Denki is on you like lightning, and he's chewing his lip like he usually does when he's worried about something. He looks like he's about to ask you if you're okay, so you wave him off and mutter something along the lines of "stupid board" and "I just wasn't ready yet".

He explains how it's important to keep leaning forward instead of backwards, so the board can't get ahead of you. It helps, a little, but it still takes eight tries for you to successfully balance yourself. Once you've got it down, however, Denki looks at you with so much pride, you don't even care how much your tailbone is hurting right now.

His smile instils you with so much confidence that you kick forward with a matching grin stretched across your face, but the force of the kick and your sense of balance don't match up, and the board is kicked backwards while your body is catapulted forward. The salopette you're wearing does nothing to protect your knees as you skid across the concrete.

Back at Denki's house, the boy wastes no time to pull out a box from underneath the sink. He’s watched his mother do this countless times over the past few months. He has the battle scars across his knees, elbows and chin to prove it, so he knows what he's doing as he cleans the scrapes on your knees with antiseptic.

It stings. Whether your knees or your self-esteem have taken a bigger blow, you can't really tell. What you do know, is that it's unfair. It’s unfair because, of the two of you, you were the first to learn how to swim and the first to learn how to ride a bike. How is this any different? And why now, when your friendship with Denki is on the line? What if he ends up spending all of his time with the other kids, because they know how to skate and you don't? Your knees hurt, but the thought of losing your best friend hurts even more, and it's enough to make your bottom lip wobble.

Cool air hits your knees. Denki is blowing on the antiseptic that’s covering way more skin than just the scrapes. He's not entirely sure why he should blow on antiseptic, but he's seen his mom do it every time, so he's positive that it's absolutely, super-duper necessary.

"You were so cool today," he mutters as he meticulously sticks Pokemon themed band-aids to your knees. "Remember how I told you it took me a whole week before I was able to stand upright on a skateboard?" He continues, "Wait until I tell the others that you were able to do it in one day, they'll go nuts."

The wobbling of your lip stops, then, and you look up.

"You don't think I looked dumb?" you ask.

Denki's eyes grow wide.

"Dumb?!" he exclaims, and it's loud. He's always loud. But not in an annoying way, you think. He's Denki, so he's allowed to be loud.

The yellow-haired boy grins again, and suddenly your knees don't sting anymore.

"You could never be dumb," he states, as if it's something that he knows to be true. "You're my best friend," he continues, "And you're the coolest person I know."

When you're seven years old, Kaminari Denki teaches you how to master a skateboard. He also teaches you that the right people will always include you in what makes them happy.

[oddyseye]

I see where you're coming from with the musical choices, and yeah, I can respect that the sound and structure of the saga are definitely strong. The vocals and the narrative arcs do tie together really well, I can give you that. But from a literary perspective, the issue is that what the characters are doing doesn't always hold up. Music can amplify the emotion, sure, but if the foundation isn't solid, it doesn't matter how great or symbolic the vocals are.

First, let’s talk about Athena and Odysseus. You’re saying it’s a ‘gentle reminder’? Sorry, but I can’t get on board with that. He brushed her off. She is laying her heart bare, and he actually cuts ties with her. The relationship that was so complex and crucial earlier just gets reduced to him rejecting her for the sake of a “monster arc.” It doesn’t track, and that’s a problem. This moment could have been so much richer, but instead it feels hollow and forced. She’s literally been absent from his life for ten years because of his disobedience, yet when he’s at his lowest, stranded, helpless, and begging for help, who does he call for? Athena. And what does she do? She defies Zeus and goes to bat for him. She risks everything for Odysseus, and when she finally does show up to help him and his son? He just blows her off. That doesn’t sit right with me.

The emotional depth of their relationship isn’t just about ‘him choosing revenge and violence,’ it’s about the history between them, and the rejection of her is such a disservice to everything they went through. She could have stayed away, she had every right to. But she didn’t. She’s been there for him despite his mistakes and disrespect, forgiven over ten thousand mistakes and now, at the pinnacle of his journey, she’s left vulnerable and questioning everything — and he rejects her. That feels like a betrayal of everything Athena has done for him. It’s one thing for him to grow darker, more monstrous, but to dismiss Athena in that moment just feels like an easy plot device rather than a meaningful emotional choice.

The whole idea of Odysseus ‘moving on from Athena’ because he’s now a ‘monster’ just doesn’t work — literally or thematically. This isn’t a natural progression of his character. This kind of rejection could have been poignant if there was a deeper exploration of Odysseus’ corruption, but instead, it’s treated like a cheap plot device. If Odysseus truly is a ‘monster’ now, his rejection of Athena should have been earned, showing us how far gone he is and how he’s lost everything that made him human.

Odysseus had this ideal: ‘‘If I become a monster, it’s to everyone but US.’’ That was the rule. This means that, as long as he’s ruthless, violent, and feared by the world, he’s still loyal to the people he cares about — back then his crew, and now his family. Think about how Poseidon’s a monster to everyone except his family, or how Circe’s seen as ‘‘insane’’ by everyone but her nymphs, or even Polyphemus, who kills without guilt to protect his sheep friends. They’re all monsters in the eyes of the world, but to their inner circles, they’re still the same. Now, if Odysseus really becomes this monster — if he truly embodies this brutal, ruthless version of himself — why on earth would he push Athena away? Athena is his circle. She’s not an ‘enemy’ or a ‘casualty’ of his monstrousness; she’s the exception. The idea that Odysseus would reject Athena after everything she’s done for him completely contradicts the logic of his own ideals. His monstrousness was never supposed to extend to the people who matter to him. Thunder Bringer was different because there was some heavy shit at stake. Here? There is literally nothing. His wife and son are home, they are safe. If he’s truly become a monster, then Athena should be the last person he pushes away.

It doesn’t matter how far Odysseus has fallen — his rejection of Athena doesn’t make sense, even within the monster arc. We know Odysseus hasn’t moved on from his humanity because, in the very scene after that, he’s asking Penelope if she’ll still love him once she knows the extent of what he’s done. That’s not the behavior of a monster who’s totally detached from their past or their relationships. That’s a man who’s still grappling with the consequences of his actions and desperately seeking validation from the one person who’s always had his back. It’s not like he’s acting irrationally. He knows exactly what he’s done, and he’s worried about the consequences. It’s that self-awareness that makes his rejection of Athena feel completely forced and out of place. He’s still searching for connection, still longing for understanding. So for him to reject Athena, who’s been the one constant presence in his life, just feels like a completely forced move. The scene doesn’t track with the rest of his journey. He hasn’t moved on from her, so why would he push her away in such a harsh, unnatural way?

Now, Telemachus? Oh, no, no, no, I definitely disagree with that one. Telemachus being docile isn’t some deep character development. It’s just lazy writing. I get that it's a retelling, and sure, characters can change, but when you strip away everything that made Telemachus a force to be reckoned with, you’re left with a shadow of the character that actually existed in the Odyssey. The kid who nearly strung Odysseus’ bow? Yeah, that kid would not be the one just standing around waiting for daddy to come in and save the day. Sorry, but that’s just not Telemachus.

If the idea is that Telemachus doesn’t need to copy Odysseus, then why in the world should it make sense for him to copy his younger self or even someone like Polites? I mean, come on, this whole ‘open arms’ approach is supposed to be this big moment of character growth, but we’ve got no reason for Telemachus to suddenly become this merciful, welcoming guy. From a literary perspective, it’s even worse because it completely ignores the fact that Telemachus is angry at the suitors. We know this. What happened in the story to make him do a 180? Absolutely nothing. And that’s where the story fails: Telemachus doesn’t need to copy Odysseus, but he sure as heck doesn’t need to copy some version of himself or another character that doesn’t even fit the narrative.

This whole thing could’ve actually made sense if we had the one character who could’ve shaped that decision for him: Peisistratus. In Epic, though? Peisistratus doesn’t even exist. That’s a huge missed opportunity. Peisistratus is the perfect person to guide Telemachus toward mercy. We see in the Odyssey how Peisistratus’s presence helps balance Telemachus’ youth with his sense of responsibility and honor. The two of them have a bond that could’ve very easily translated into Telemachus developing a more measured, merciful approach to his father’s enemies. They share something deeper than just friendship after all, though we could go into that conversation another time, I’m not about to open that can of worms right now. Without Peisistratus, though, Telemachus' decision to have 'open arms' feels completely disconnected from everything we know about him. He’s spent years watching the suitors destroy his home, and suddenly he’s the one calling for mercy? That doesn’t track. If Epic had kept Peisistratus, his quiet wisdom could’ve been the perfect foundation for that decision. Telemachus could’ve struggled with his own instincts to take vengeance and found the courage to adopt a different path because of the influence of his friend.

But no. In Epic, Peisistratus isn’t even around to be that grounding presence. Instead, we get a Telemachus who acts out of character, with no real justification. If they’d just kept Peisistratus in the story, it would’ve given Telemachus’ arc the depth it desperately needed and made his 'open arms' thing make sense. Instead, we get an empty, confusing decision that comes out of nowhere and leaves you scratching your head. If you actually take a look into their characters, that is.

So no, it’s not just about not copying Odysseus — it’s about the fact that Telemachus has no reason to be copying anyone. That kind of transformation needs to have substance, and without it, we’re left with a character who feels more like a plot device than an actual person. If Telemachus were to have a change of heart like that, it would need to be earned. Which it was absolutely not.

I get the whole musicality thing. Yes, I’ll give you that: the music is brilliant. It’s a whole different level of genius, and that’s clear. But we’re not talking about music here, are we? We’re talking about story, character arcs, and how the narrative holds up in its own right. The music is amazing, but it doesn’t get a free pass to paper over the fact that the story drops the ball in some key places. I can respect a musical for its execution, but if the writing falters in its foundational elements, I can’t just ignore that. This is all coming from a place of respect. Debate like this is important, and it’s how we really dig into stories and their meaning. But I’m going to be honest: I can’t agree with these takes. At all. It’s not about trying to tear anyone down; it’s about looking at the story critically. I respect other perspectives, but when the reasoning behind something doesn’t hold up, I’m going to call it out. There’s a difference between an intentional creative choice and one that just doesn’t make sense, and I think we crossed that line here. So, no shade, no hate — I just can’t agree.

Things I did NOT like in the Ithaca Saga.

Okay, it was fine, but there were just...choices... There’s just stuff in that section that had me rolling my eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck.

First up: "Hold Them Down." I get that Epic is trying to make the suitors worse villains, but the way they went about it was disgusting. That song outright says the suitors were planning to force themselves on Penelope, which is not even remotely in the Odyssey. Yes, the suitors are terrible — they’re greedy, arrogant, would-be killers who exploit her hospitality — but this crosses a line that feels like shock value rather than staying true to the source material. They included that song, but erased Calypso’s actions toward Odysseus? In the Odyssey, she held him captive for years and forced him into a relationship. That is literally such an important part of the story. Yet, not only did Epic omit it, but they also banned people from even discussing it in their Discord server. How does that make sense? You can explore one kind of assault but not acknowledge the other, especially when the one they ignored was actually canon? The double standard is infuriating, and it completely undermines the narrative’s integrity. Yet somehow this suitor nonsense made the cut? Make it make sense, because I can’t. Next, Telemachus. Why did they do my boy so dirty? In the Odyssey, he was brave, capable, and growing into his own. He fought beside Odysseus, killed suitors, and even comes this close to stringing Odysseus’ old bow, which is supposed to be impossible for anyone but...well. Odysseus. That’s a huge moment! It shows how much he’s grown and how much of Odysseus’ strength and legacy he carries within him. But in Epic? They turned him into some weak, helpless little thing who can’t do anything without Odysseus. Like, hello? Telemachus isn’t just Odysseus’ son; he’s a fighter, a prince, and a man trying to defend his home. Stripping that away to make Odysseus look like more of a hero is just lazy and disrespectful to the original story. They took away his courage, his growth, and his ability to hold his own. It’s like they didn’t trust the audience to see Odysseus as a hero unless Telemachus was made to look useless by comparison. And then we get to Odysseus and Athena. What even was that? Yes, the idea that Odysseus has become a “monster” is a fascinating angle—he’s been through so much that revenge, violence, and survival have completely overtaken who he once was. But Ithaca does nothing to earn this shift, and it outright ignores the groundwork laid in earlier sagas. Two sagas ago, we saw Odysseus at his lowest. He was stranded on Calypso’s island, completely defeated, and begging Athena for help. Let me say that again: begging. And this wasn’t just any goddess he was calling out to — this was the mentor who had abandoned him as a student. She had walked away, and he still reached out, still trusted her to save him when no one else could. That moment showed Odysseus’ faith in Athena and their deep, complicated bond. Calypso.

And Athena? She didn’t just listen—she fought for him. She went up against Zeus himself to make sure Odysseus could leave that island. She defied the king of the gods because she believed in him. Odysseus doesn’t know that detail, but we do, and it makes her devotion to him so much more impactful. She risked everything to give him another chance at life, at home, at redemption.

Fast-forward to Ithaca, and what do we get? Athena shows up, vulnerable and introspective, questioning the path they’ve taken and the world they’ve built, and Odysseus just brushes her off. He doesn’t just say no — he dismisses her entirely. His response boils down to, “Not my problem. I’ve got a wife to see.” Excuse me, now? This is the same man who was crying out for her intervention just two sagas ago. The same man whose survival has always depended on his intelligence, resourcefulness, and the help of others — Athena most of all. Now he’s too proud to even engage with her? It doesn’t track. It’s inconsistent, and it cheapens their relationship. She’s opening her heart, showing her vulnerability, wondering if there’s still a way for them to fix what they’ve broken. She didn’t owe him anything, but she did it because she believed in him, because she had invested in him from the start. So for him to now completely disregard her — when she’s in front of him, showing empathy and pain — feels like a betrayal of everything that came before. Odysseus’ monster arc didn’t need to erase Athena. In fact, rejecting the one person who literally raised him, who fought for him, who saved him so many times, doesn’t even make sense for his character. That’s not the arc of a man who’s become a monster; that’s just cruelty for cruelty’s sake.

This is someone who has given everything to Odysseus, and in this moment, she’s realizing that the person she fought for is no longer the man she thought he was. And that’s what’s tragic.

But Ithaca doesn’t explore that. Instead, it uses Odysseus’ rejection as a cheap plot point, stripping away the emotional weight of his relationship with Athena. She was the woman who raised him, who guided him, who saved him — and they reduced her to a mere plot device to show how “monster-ified” Odysseus has become. It’s lazy, it’s cruel, and it completely disregards the depth of their bond. The pain in Athena’s voice, the heartbreak in her words, is completely wasted.

Odysseus doesn’t need to be a monster who rejects Athena to be a tragic figure. The tragedy would have been in him choosing revenge and violence at the cost of his humanity, not in cutting ties with the one person who raised him into the hero he became. Ithaca could’ve explored that, but instead, it gave us a shallow, hollow portrayal that didn’t respect the characters, their history, or the emotional weight of their relationship. Ithaca is a hot mess, and it’s honestly embarrassing. It had all this potential, and yet it chose to phone it in with lazy writing and shallow plot twists. It throws out big ideas and then does nothing with them, leaving us with empty, unearned moments that just fall flat. Instead of digging into anything meaningful, it relies on cheap drama to get a reaction. The story feels rushed, disconnected from the other sagas, and like the creators couldn’t be bothered to put in the work. They had an opportunity to make something impactful and then just decided to half-ass it. If you're looking for a mess of missed potential, Ithaca is your go-to. That being said, the songs are sick and I will sob again over the last song. Thank you.

[lambentplume]

dude.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Mark Oshiro confuses me a little bit not going to lie. In the press tour for the first book all they ever talked about was how Nico is their son and Will is fine I guess. Then they said like 2 weeks before TSATS came out that they didn't understand Will's character at all and it's one of the main reasons why Will has so little POV.

Possibly unpopular opinion but I don't think it's a good, encouraging sign when the writer admits to not really caring about the deuteragonist or not even having a sense of how to write them...

Yeah, no. If you have no interest in 1/2 of the POV characters of your book, you REALLY shouldn't be writing it (or at least, not have that be a main character). Especially when the main way TSATS could have been improved is if it was primarily Will-centric instead of Nico-centric. Will basically had next to no established character prior to TSATS! He was practically a blank slate! But all the new stuff we got for Will in TSATS was so clearly disinterested and had no regard for his previously established traits (or the established timeline/canon). Which is annoying because fleshing out Will would have been the PERFECT opportunity to actually incorporate a lot of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in as a sensitivity reader, which was the ENTIRE REASON THEY WERE BROUGHT ON AS A CO-AUTHOR!!!!

As TSATS stands, there is no reason for Mark Oshiro specifically to have been the co-author instead of someone else. It's so clearly just a PR move from RR following the huge backlash Rick received due to his response to criticism on how he wrote Piper and Samirah (and Reyna and etc etc). This was immediately following Rick saying he wasn't going to write what would become TSATS because "it [wasn't his] place to." Most of the topics that Mark Oshiro specializes in either weren't relevant at all to TSATS or written very poorly (to downright offensively) in TSATS, so either Mark Oshiro wasn't doing their job or was not able to do their job for some reason, but either way it basically makes the theoretical justification for Mark Oshiro being the co-author/sensitivity reader irrelevant.

With Will, it was HUGE fanon back in the day for him to be trans. Trans!Will and photokinesis!Will were basically the two biggest headcanons for him (both largely popularized by Cherryandsisters). We know Rick is aware of this old fanon because he canonized photokinesis!Will. If we had gotten trans!Will, that would have been great! And then made sense why we specifically got a trans co-author! (Instead, if anything, TSATS canonized Will being cis.) If we had gotten Will being latino, that would have been amazing!!!! And also then made sense as to why they chose Mark Oshiro for the job as a latinx author/sensitivity-reader, versus potentially choosing an Italian co-author since Nico being Italian/Venetian was emphasized so much in the book (and done poorly! Yknow what they could have done to fix that? GOTTEN A SENSITIVITY READER FOR IT)! Based on the themes and focuses actually present in the book, it would have been most logical to get a queer, neurodivergent, Italian co-author or sensitivity reader who specializes in those three topics at least. But we didn't! So why was Mark Oshiro chosen instead when they only specialize in one of those topics? PR reasons. It's blatantly entirely PR reasons and no actual thought or care was put into this book (or, likely, TSATS 2 either).

It doesn't help that we're also actively being told that the published version of TSATS was a rough draft. Or that their editor blatantly isn't doing her job. Or that "The Sun And The Star" was the working title that they just kept cause they didn't bother to make an actual title. And that the final version is full of explicitly last-minute scenes that weren't checked over at all (the final Bianca scene, for one). Or the ACTIVELY ADMITTING TO SOURCING IDEAS AND INFORMATION FROM FANS! That last one is kind of important because at this level of publishing that is a HUGE no-no for legal reasons. You can get into a lot of trouble for that and there is a reason why it is Ye Olde Fandom Law to never try to pitch your ideas or headcanons to the source creator(s) and keep fandom separate from the creators. There is a REASON why Rick Riordan is so distant from the community these days and it's for PROTECTION AGAINST LEGAL REPERCUSSION. Mark Oshiro being the exact opposite while also ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGING sourcing concepts from fans does not bode well! It has to do with copyright stuff.

It's just. So. Sighhhhhhhh >->o <- me lying on the floor about all of this. It's sad being able to see the glimmer of what could have been at the very least a decent book underneath all this. If anyone involved in the process had actually cared just the tiniest amount.

[yellowocaballero]

Continuing the JJK posting: Gojo is such a mystifying character.

Action show where swinging out the gate you introduce a character who is so incredibly powerful you then have to, before every fight, establish why Gojo can't just show up and fix the problem in seconds. His existence weakens the stakes of everything. The rest of the show you are backflipping ridding yourself of him. He jobs two major bad guys off the gate and every subsequent extensive fight with them feels like cleaning up his leftovers. Put him in a box, he's ruining the game balance. So absolutely broken. As a writer it makes your job so difficult, but it's also the entire point of him. "Hey I want to write the single most badass character of all time who can do the most insane shit but I will also engage with that", rock on king.

I think he's most interesting when understood as somebody who is fundamentally alien and removed from ordinary human thought processes. In his world there is absolutely nothing he cannot do, and the thought 'maybe I can't do something' just doesn't occur to him. He is capable of doing whatever he wants and of killing anybody who tries to stop him from doing what he wants. If he is not doing something, it is because he does not want to do it. If he wants to do something (kill all of his superiors) and he's not doing it, it's because he doesn't think it's the most effective route towards what he has decided to do. I think this informs the majority of his actions (and, importantly, what he doesn't do)(murder). I think he's reasoned out that you should have a general reason to do things, and it feels like sheer luck that he places value and meaning in human life, and as such you shouldn't kill them without a strong reason. Watching the flashback arc, if I hadn't seen a) JJK and b) Naruto and you asked me which shitty teen became a law abiding school teacher and which became a mass murderer I would have guessed the wrong ones.

Anyway, the way I like to think of him, he's a raging narcissist with a god complex to match. Horrifically, he's actually a good teacher, but he is also a teacher as an ego/'raising my child army' thing. He would be the kind of mother who is a good mother but lowkey had kids also as an ego/unconditional love/lots of attention/'surely my child will worship me' thing. Gets randomly into new hobbies, obsesses over them, gorges himself on the novelty factor, before dropping them in a week once he gets too good at them. Rinse and repeat. The only hobby that does not eventually grow boring is annoying people, so it's his only hobby. Geto told him age 15 that he'll never have any friends if he keeps on casually reminding people that they live on his sufferance, so he developed another back-up hobby more conducive for friendship of helping people forget that they live on his sufferance. This has convinced him that he's a god of subterfuge, intrigue, and trickery. Does eat women out, but is convinced that this makes him God's gift to women, and is actually pretty terrible in bed because his partner's desires never even occur to him. Is convinced he's as good at sex as he is everything else. Sex is actually the one thing he's bad at, but he's not ready to hear that.

In S1 he overall left me with the general impression that his entire idea of how high school worked was sourced from anime, and as such decided that being a teacher involved nothing but field trips, sports games, beach episodes, sports festivals, etc. Did not know how the classroom component worked so he skips it. Jossed, but also left me convinced that it would be very funny if he was an immortal 150-whatever years old and had founded the high school himself out of, you guessed it, an ego thing, and never once properly learned how high schools worked and just arbitrarily made his own aging students the new principals so he could continue engaging in training the kids who are too Misfit (TM) to get apprenticeships and living his fun slice of life anime life and raising a child army of kids who will worship him any day now. Annnyyyy day now. Any day now.

[lizasweetling]

Ok, so the Other is implied in the novels be be called 'the Other' because contrary to what Europan sparks do when they wreck the world there's no apparent gain, only wholesale slaughter and the terrifying absence of Gloating?? so 'the Other' for how terrifyingly alien this force of orbital bombardment meets Zombie Plague!!

but like. This is also a story. Which is what initially led me to the notion I will now share- the Other is 'the other Lucrezia' I postulate, that if only for drama, once there were two Lucrezia in the same time and the same place

One that was native to that point in time, and up to this point, unaware of her murderous and tragic future- and one from what the first one would see as the future!

and obviously, the second has had the study of untold eons to develop her technology and probably 'peeped into the infinite' as Albia put it- it's not a shock that Young Lu would be terribly impressed and taken with her Older self.

Taken enough that she might even be swayed to take that Older Her's advise and tutelage- eventually causing her to become wildly powerful and well informed (and also explaining why the castle was the first stop the Other hit, and why a bunch of her assistants got stabbed, and she got 'kidnapped'- you don't just believe a 'time traveler willy nillly! the Other needed some time to convince Lu to cooperate, like any other person)

this leads Lu to become the Other! just learning and scholarship (and massive trauma) would make her turn serial killing and infanticide to convince herself to travel back and forward in time to learn and cause the effect that is Herself?

or would it?

After all- if this is such a neat tucked causality, why does Lu not know what happens after she gives Birth to Agatha (what Vrin called the ''time of prophesy')? Why was she so woefully unaware of how to find Agatha, or even stop her from being taken away in the first place?? She has time travel?? She's had time travel for a long time?? How come after this point for some reason it's as though she doesn't have time travel?

you see. I can't help but notice, that there's a 'Lu' that's unlike the rest. One Lu that's not as generous to the collective of Lu's goals. On that has a very vested interest in Lu's rise to power, and beyond that a vested interest in Agatha not only living separate from Lu's plans, but only coming back into play after Barry Rescued her and created the Locket which itself was on track to return to the field.

Zola, or Zolu, as I'm confident that either Lu has reconquered the majority of control or they've merged, requires that Agatha be there and a threat to Lu in order to exist. She would Have to lie to Young Lu that she simply hadn't a clue where the heterodyne girl would be spirited away to- so that she'd be there to kidnap Lu at all.

and a very tidy coup it might would will be, if Zolu steals the revenant empire right out from the collective Lu's nose!

would certainly make her 'the Other Lu' wouldn't it

[why-the-heck-not]

26.08.23, saturday

today was what we like to call "productive procrastination" aka the rest of my life is in shambles but I now have a clean kitchen

[drpicklesart]

they are going to mehnahnaroo

[prodixal]

"Aye, but that's what brothers are for." he spits out almost instantly, like a petty child. He enjoyed riling her up. Ever since they were kids. There was joy to be found in watching her wish she could rip his head off his shoulders. If only she were able to reach it. "I say this with care, dear sister -- but you are always unnecessarily stressed. It is almost like you're looking to find issues to worry over, even when there aren't any. -- When was the last time you...relaxed?"

He will scoff at her her next words, which showed just how alike they were beyond their apparent differences. Neither of them could be told shit when it came to their attractiveness. Though what kind of brother would he be not to knock her down a peg? "I suppose one sister was given the beauty with no confidence, while the other is all confidence with no beauty. How strange a game do our minds play on us." there was obvious mockery to his voice, he did not truly mean it. His sister, though he was not of Targaryen persuasion to find attraction towards kin, was an objectively beautiful woman. "Seems all the stress took toll on your eyes, good for you."

Varyn proceeds to watch his sister squirm to any sign of potential tenderness, her voice remaining firm and factual and task-oriented. She was so very much like their lord father. Calculating, cold, ambitious. It would serve her well, in this game she's adamant on playing. But he wondered, for a moment, if what she desired most of all would ever bring her a sense of peace, happiness...comfort. It did not sit well with him that she should aspire to something that would, once achieved, leave her empty and alone.

But who was he, to judge the paths of others? At least his sister had a path, a purpose. He would never know what that feels like.

"My very best behaviour." he repeats her words back to her, showing he was listening. "So...say I am to fraternise with one of the lovely Targaryen sisters..." he lets the thought trail off, anticipating a concern and sharp look of Cershas eyes. He did not actively intend to do anything outrageous with any of the sisters, what comes later was truly unintended. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Don't shoot." a laugh leaves his throat and he will absorb some of the seriousness she radiated through the air.

"Though, as we are on the topic of my fucking things up --" he bites his lip, looking away not to shrink under the heaviness of judgment which would no doubt be filling her gaze. "I've something to tell you. Not that I believe it to be of your concern, but -- I would hate for you to find out in a manner outside of your control. I know you well enough to know -- you do not appreciate surprises."

With their conversation turning more private with each passing word, it was of all the more importance they should seek a corner where no one would be listening. So he quickened his step, and did not respond to her following words before they entered private chambers, locking the doors while leaving their guards behind.

"See what I mean? Looking for things to worry about." he did not mean to imply his sister was paranoid. He was certain she had been right. But some things only showed with time, and one could hardly pry them out of the person. "People cannot hide who they are for long, that should worry you as much as it should give you relief. In time, you will know exactly who they are, and she will know exactly who you are in turn." it was easy to play pretend, when one only shared moments with the other. But sharing a life gave way to reality to seep through, with certainty, with time.

"There is a way for you to find out...more, I suppose." a mischievous smile spreads across his lips as he sits spreading on a dark wooden chair, pouring himself a cup of fresh wine. "Leave it to me."

" YOU ARE CAUSING ME UNNECCESSARY STRESS ." cersha snaps frustratedly in reply even as she gestures to all of varyn with a sweeping hand before promptly dropping that hand in annoyance . it is with a huff that cersha moves to briefly rub her temples instead , adding , " and if you wish to goad someone about their age , you will find better luck with telessa . she is the one who seem to think her age is slowly leaching her beauty from her —  and only the gods know why that is ." cersha gestures to herself then to lowly hiss , " i , on the other hand , know with surety that i become only more enchanting with every day that passes as the gods have intended ." while the words may lean towards ironic considering the current predicament , cersha knows them to be true . after all , if it was not proven in some way every day of her life , her introduction to vaelora solidified that if nothing else . after all , would the targaryen have looked at cersha quite that way if not for her beauty ? in all honesty , as a woman her beauty was one of the greatest assets she had to offer . another was her mind , but that rarely seemed to attract as much interest . so , she will work with the pieces that she had . as she looks upon her brother that sentiment seems to echo . " and i you ." it is only the lack of possible spectators that allows cersha to accompany the words with a face that goes against near all decorum . there is only varyn there to see the childish twist in her expression , and perhaps that is the very reason why she makes it . " so i suppose we both have regrets then . a shame , truly ." it is with a sigh that cersha allows her hands to rest on her hips , watching as varyn pets his foot as if she has left him wish some sort of grand wound . cersha knows for a fact that she hasn't . as much as she wishes she were as fierce a force in brute strength as she was in sharp intellect , she knows where her talents are .

she is starkly reminded of them as varyn stands and gives her a look that makes her expression twitch . that twitch only grows in a full on furrow of her brows as varyn continues , her expression twisting in her growing confusion . she doesn't even have the wherewithal to swat her brother's hand away in her bewilderment , merely allowing him to tuck away a stray curl that she will likely find herself fiddling with in the nearest mirror in half a candle mark . " well — " cersha feels thrown off in a way that feels distinctly unfamiliar . she develops a quick distaste for it . her brows furrow tighter . " good . because this is —  of the greatest importance , and not just to me but for the entirety of our house ." cersha's voice becomes steadier the longer she speaks , and she's glad for it ; the usual backbone behind her words feels familiar enough for something in her shoulders to ease as she takes a breath before firmly adding , " you must be on your very best behavior until the wedding ." nevermind that this is perhaps what cersha has wanted all her life . this was an opportunity for all of them . and while cersha was more than ready for the weight of that on her shoulders , was born for it truly , she wasn't concerned for her . she was concerned for the pieces she had less control over . pieces like varyn , or vaelora , or gods knows what else . it is after a long moment of considering varyn , of letting his question settle that cersha sighs grandly and drops her hands from her hips to say , " if everything does not go perfectly i may very well consider murder ." she snaps out with a frustrated gesture . there's a beat before she waves his way to add , " not of you . not to say it couldn't be you , but murder in general is what i refer to ." another pause before her expression is twisting as she adds , " not to mention vaelora baffles me ." cersha sits down on the step with a frustrated huff , her nose wrinkled delicately in thought as she gestures to say , " all honor and kindness ." her brows knit together as she stares determinedly into the distance . " there is something beneath it , i know it . she is playing some sort of game , i just need to decipher what it is but ," she points sharply to varyn to add , " they will not pull wool over my eyes . i refuse to be blindsided ."

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[zackcharine]

I need to try harder to get out of bed but augh

[frogtossing]

i’m at that point where university is no longer a novelty so i have to put active effort into going there

[bitegore]

evidence i spent at least five minutes talking to my brother today:

[wikipedia tab open for wolf-rayet stars] [cartoonishly large image of the antennae galaxies open in a tab] [arxiv page of a paper called "can slow pulsars in Milky Way globular clusters form via partial recycling?" in a tab] [iopcience page of a paper called "prospects for detecting fast radio bursts in the globular clusters of nearby galaxies" open in a tab] [iopscience page of a paper called "inkjet printable-photoactive all inorganic perovskite films with long effective photocarrier lifetimes" in another tab] [wikipedia page for laser cooling in a tab] [wikipedia page for doppler cooling in a tab] [wikipedia page for the doppler effect in a tab] [wikipedia page for sisyphus cooling in a tab] [wikipedia page for polarization open in a tab] [wikipedia page for thermite open in a tab] [wikipedia page for hydrocarbons in a tab] [google search "rayon cooling" that i got distracted from while trying to figure out what the fuck he was saying because i didn't hear him right open in another tab]

[sskk-manifesto]

Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era