#INTHEAIRTONIGHT.mp3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mortalspark-blog · 6 years ago

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‘ you better love me . ’

BILLIE EILISH STARTERS. / accepting!

there is something hard and unflinching in his eyes, something he is so good at masking that others could never assume him to be this: this bottomless well of ice. of nothing more but words stacked onto each other that made up his life. honor, duty, oath, marriage. all of them tie into what is presented to the world, what is as much fitting the phrase ‘ husband ’ as it fits himself, not bending his core over for someone else’s perception of the couple they need to present, that united front, but willing to paint a convincing picture. and while the exterior is as charming and as polite as it can be, there is so much dirt beneath it all, inside of him, and it is all frozen into the ground. pure ice, not see-through, no, not clear either, but ice nonetheless. and dmitry knows of this, has seen it up close; how it was manifested inside of frederick and how it spread and spread with every day longer on american soil and how it took over so much of frederick that there was no room to care about much else; to care about dmitry. yes, their united front exists, but it has been more a hoax than a romantic reality. frederick knew he could rely on his husband when it came to missions, they have been trained to work like a perfectly oiled and coordinated machine, their work profile everything a marriage in the world of normal people should be, is desired to be. but it has never been something he conveyed on a personal front, between them. not for a long time, not until he realised that the reason they did work so well together all the time, communicating without much more than the tilt of their heads, a movement of their hands, one eyebrows raised, that it comes from a place that goes beyond that ice, that festered its way beneath it. somehow, frederick has grown … attached to the man he has to call ‘ husband ’, somehow, there grew more.

a cock of his head, gray steel burning into the other man’s gaze, not more depicted on his face than that. the darkness of the car tints them into a world on their own, gives this moment its freedom to be what it needs to be for itself, and giving frederick the time to adjust the dryness in his throat to an answer that rises the stakes in the same way that dmitry’s own words have. he knows where that came from; the expectation of frederick to be more than the basics, to be more convincing for others, more than a mission partner, to claim the words he says himself so often ( they need to be a team ) and it is then that he no longer can ignore the burning heat that has been flaring up in him ever he saw what dmitry did for him ⸺ when dmitry killed for him. that has never happened before; it has never happened before and it reminded frederick of a moment he has long pushed away, turned aside in all the old memories he never dared to touch upon. when he first saw dmitry being propositioned, the second choice for what this would end up to be, and he couldn’t say no again. when it just fit. when there was something in dmitry that has been illuminating his eyes back then, has made frederick agree to take this man along with him; and it has been there hours ago, too. it is there now, in dmitry’s words and the defiant set of his jaw, and it illuminates frederick again. unhinges him, sets him right again. not that he’d dare to voice such a sentiment out loud.

his gaze remains as defiant as the other’s whole posture, and then he leans over into dmitry’s space, willingly for the first time, and simply states, “i do.” and willingly, for the first time, he breaches the distance and kisses the other man, putting everything that has been burning right beneath the surface into it, leaning so far that he is crowding into dmitry’s space, suddenly inable to not allow himself to put a hand on dmitry’s neck and the other up into his hair and to have him closer when the kiss is answered with enthusiasm. it is like dams breaking open, all of the resigned detachment to any touch of all the years prior falling away and opening to a sense of trust frederick has never felt for anyone else before, knowingly never will feel for anyone else anymore. he knows of his own vulnerability in this moment, but there is no fear in his eyes or his voice when he breaks a little from dmitry to breathe into the space between them, to breathe it more into the other’s cheek than the stuffed air in the car, “i want this ⸺ i want you. now.”

#INTHEAIRTONIGHT.mp3 #yes i have zero chill #if this gets flagged i'm killing tumblr #it's just two married dudes kissing after they disposed a body #nothing bad here #alleywaysbelow #「 but now we call on science. 」⇢ answered.#sfw #long post //

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