#IN THE FUCKING GOTDAMN CORRIDOR

[thehalloweenspooks]

So guys... HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THAT FRANCO MOMENT?!?!?

[b1ksh88p]

Be Mine Chapter 3

Plot: A storm is brewing in Valentine, and you’re in the middle of it. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Harry and there’s already been a horrendous murder. With tensions high and everyone finger pointing your ex, Edmund, makes everything worse by spreading gossip. With the sting of rejection still weighing heavy on your heart you attempt to clear everything up only to make things worse.

Describing your mood as sour would be a understatement. You were numb. A grey cloud loomed over your usual cheery exterior as you went through day to day activities. Whenever someone asked if you were alright you’d chalk it up to trivial excuses. When in actuality you were torn that you’d been stupid enough to try and have a picnic with a killer. If you were sane maybe you’d tell the Sheriff and get some of his boys in uniform to smoke Harry out somehow but you had no taste for revenge. All you wanted was to move on.

But it seemed your ex had other plans. You worked in the diner, usually taking up the night shifts to rid yourself of boredom. As you were cleaning a table you overheard a couple chatting away about you of all topics. Why your name was in their mouths you didn’t know but from what you got out of it made you want to raise hellfire.

“I heard she goes down there every night to see that killer.”

“Edmund said that the sherif saw her go in with food and came out empty handed.”

“No way, maybe she’s a killer.”

There’s no way you could allow these two peons spread such outlandish babble. You’ve never killed anyone nor would you ever. The thought of murdering another made you sick to your stomach. “Edmund is a long-nosed good for nothing asshole who spends his time making up calumniations and dumping his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day for a dumb blonde with a baby voice. You two and the rest of your bubble headed friends would be fools to believe anything that comes out his mouth.” You finish with a astute turn into the back for a extensive smoke break.

If you saw Edmund or that sleazy sheriff you’d be sure to give them a piece of your mind. And speak of the devil, there he was. Your blood was replaced with boiling water as you stomped your way towards him. He was with the sherif and some other random cop you didn’t know. Both of them saw you coming and started to drift apart before you whistle and jogged towards the two snakes.

“Where we going boys? Running away from the new killer of the town?”

“Now listen Y/N I didn’t mean to start anything.” The sheriff assured.

You weren’t impressed. “You’re just the last one seen in the mines so...it makes sense.” Edmund shrugged.

“And you were the last one fucking the blonde bimbo you cheated on me with and she has crabs....so it makes sense right?” You snap back garnering a chortle from the other cop.

“It’s not my fault you’re a boring bitch who can’t get anyone to date you except for some psycho?!” He growled.

“I’m not dating anyone and I’m not a killer. Instead of gossiping like little girls how about you three go investigate and find the real killer.” You throw down the cigarette and stomp it out beneath your heel.

“We apologize if we’ve caused you any trouble Miss, we’re doing the best we can.” The Sheriff whispered.

“Keep my name out your ass licking mouths and out the fucking paper.” You demand before walking back inside the diner.

After your shift you began to walk home. The ominous glow of streetlights did little to scare you. On your way to you lovely home you stopped by the liquor store. A bit tipsy you ventured the winding fucked up roads. The quiet sounds of the night were ruined by the sounds of sirens. It had been what? 72 hours and some change since the last murder what the hell could the coppers be speeding for? Even in your mildly drunken stupor you noticed where they were heading. The mines. Sober you would’ve kept walking like any sane person but you were running on anger, worry, and rum. A mix that didn’t bode well when making good decisions.

You knew a shortcut through the trees and made haste. By the time you fought through flora and fauna two cars were already there. The sheriff and Edmund were there holding lanterns and guns. You step out from behind the trees, face bathed in red and blue lights. Softly stepping towards the shit show. “What the fuck are you two asswipes doing?!” You call out as you make your way to the entrance of the mine. Before they can stop you you’re in front of the cold entrance.

“You protecting your boyfriend again?” Edmund spat as he loaded his gun.

“You don’t have a gotdamn clue who killed those two. It takes you dumb mother fuckers months to even get close to closing a case!”

“We know he’s down there Y/N and he’s gonna fucking burn for what he did. And if you gotta burn with him so fucking be it!” He aimed the gun at you which almost made you piss yourself. You stumble back as he aims it at you. The thumping of your heart beat in your ears.

“I’m not you enemy! And neither is he!” Your words were bold but hoarse.

“That son of a bitch killed family. I don’t care what you think he’s going to die, and if I have to shoot you to get to him I fucking will!” The sheriffs attempts to calm down Edmund were futile. He had his eyes on you. They were large and red and full of rage. He looked like a rabid animal and you his prey.

“...You’re angry I get that but this is a mob attack not a lawful pick up. You have no evidence-“

“DONT GIVE ME A FUCKING LESSON IN LAW BITCH I AM THE FUCKING LAW!” He shot at the ground beneath your feet sending dirt into your eyes. The muffled scolding from the sheriff did nothing to stop your beating heart. In fact there were bigger problems.

Another shot cracked through the night sending you to the ground covering your head. The grotesque sound of choking made you gag. The Sheriff was on the ground, clambering hands grabbing at the gaping hole in his chest as he bled out. Edmund was in shock. He held the man’s dead hand with wide eyes. Perfect time to get away. You book it into the mines. It was dark and cold, even chillier with a fresh murderer on your heels. At first you didn’t hear him but a shot echoed through the caves followed by some demands for you and Harry to reveal yourselves. That wasn’t happening so you keep running, ducking into random corridors to try and throw him off your trail.

Apart of you was afraid of running into Harry. What if he was angry at you? Running into one killer to escape the other was a chance you really didn’t want to take. You’d rather wait it out and hide. Hopefully Harry would take care of Edmund and you could run away without interacting with either of them. You stop running to hide in a old mining cart that was turned over. Covering your mouth with shaking hands you listen. A heavy set of footsteps past you, Edmund more than likely. It wasn’t like Harry to be so loud. He taunted what you assumed were the shadows to face him like a real man. He didn’t really see him right? You wish you could peek but you were far to afraid you’d get your head blown off.

“So that’s what you look like. Y’know it’s crazy. You don’t look like a monster.” He cocked the gun. “Tell me how you did it. How you killed my dad you fucking monster.” He demanded.

There was no response on Harry’s end. You hear something fall to the ground and then Edmund’s smug laughter. What the hell was going on? You quietly peak from out your hiding space. The minimal lighting made the scene hard to make out but by the looks of it Harry had...given up. He had thrown his pick axe ahead of him, taken off the mask, and dropped to his knees. A gloved hand on the barrel of the gun pointing it to his head. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Was he insane? Edmund goes into a end game spill about how long he’s waited to do this. How he’d pin the Sheriff’s and I’s murder on Harry and walk out the mines a hero. During this you start to crawl towards them, ready to rush him or throw a rock, anything to buy Harry time. Your chest is tight as you hold your breath. Nearing the both of them as quietly as you possibly can. Edmund cocks the gun and says something to the effect of “everyone dies, somebody should’ve take your sorry ass out long ago.” Before you hear a shot.

It hits the ceiling once you use all your might to swing Harry’s pickaxe into Edmund’s head, through his cheek. The blast was so close to Harry he fell back in pain. Edmund leans on the wall holding the left side of his face, still turned away from you. When he does look at you all the blood drains from your body. His tongue hung from the broken jaw like a salivating dog, torn flesh dangled around missing teeth, with so much flesh exposed blood spritzed out every time he moved closer to you. He couldn’t move his jaw so when he spoke it was a gurgled cacophony of rage and disbelief. You lift the pick axe once more but see him lift the shotgun and take aim. This makes you freeze like a deer in headlights. You close your eyes, bracing for impact. But to your surprise it never comes. Instead Harry had gotten up and tackled him, only problem was that he got shot.

The two men fell to the ground. Edmund kicking him off and frantically reaching into his pocket for two more shells. Without thinking you kick the gun from his hands. He tried to get up but you stomp on his chest with all the rage bottled up inside. He looks up at you with that mangled face and large eyes but mercy was the last thing on your mind. You look over him, raise the crude weapon, and allow the cold metal to pierce through his chest. You let out a exasperated scream as you continue your onslaught. Hammering down years of neglect, wasted time, slander, and abuse into what’s left of his broken body. When you’re done he’s left torn apart. Rib cage broken and organs exposed. In all the madness you vomit from the stress and overall exertion of energy you used up. The groans from Harry snap you back to reality and you go to aid him.

“Oh god oh shit hold on hold on.” You ramble. Your hands try their best to cover the wound. He was shot in the side. Luckily it wasn’t a direct hit but without medical attention it was gonna get nasty. You use Edmund’s jacket to help stop the bleeding. He was just staring at you. “What? What the hell are you gonna yell at me for now???” You yell trying not to cry. He lifts a bloody hand to your face.

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

[softgrungeprophet]

Me and @chokemebucky played a game over roll20 (text chat) today and here is what happened:

Characters:

Arlen Ghelfi: He/Him. 19. Slender, ruddy freckles, with auburn hair and brown eyes. He wears a white suit and headphones, and has a battered cybernetic right arm. Signature Weapon: Cyber arm has an assassin's creed-style dagger in it.

Evelynn Dowe: She/Her. 25. Evelynn has dark skin and a cyan mohawk and brown eyes, and a distinctive scar on her arm. She has a cybernetic arm which can become electrically charged. Signature Weapon: Switchblade.

Scene 1:

Arlen walks into the eight-story mall, and looks around at all the glass storefronts, with jewelry and designer clothes. There are a lot of people around, but his headphones block out most of the noise. He heads up one of the elevators.... Evelynn is with him.

When it dings on the 8th floor, they head out, and it's this fancy full-floor cyberware shop. Arlen absolutely cannot afford anything in this place. The cashier is a chrome robot.

And the robot is like, "Can I help you?"

"No I'm just looking." And something catches Arlen's eye in one of the cases. Cut crystal and brushed steel, a very fancy cyber-watch. He wants it. But he's not a thief. So he kind of stares at it.

Or at least, he wasn't a thief before—he shakes his head and memorizes the way it looks in the case before turning away and waving at the robot. He gets back in the elevator.

Scene 2:

There is a restaurant, connected to the mall at the bottom floor—by a moving walkway because rich people don't WALK any more than they have to.

Evelynn walks into the restaurant tower, and this place is. Massive. Like, MASSIVE, and this is only the first floor, and there's a water fountain in the middle because rich people like fountains—honestly she wouldn't be surprised if there was a friggin indoor pool somewhere in here (but there isn't because that's not like ~fancy~ and they don't want their floors wet)

There are various sets of elevators, and by each elevator, a list of floor numbers and the types of food on each floor. They're all owned by the same company, but each is different. One seafood, one Italian, one authentic Mexican, etc. etc.

She goes up to the counter and asks for a menu, and says that she can't stay and sit to eat, she wants to get food to go. They look kinda offended because who doesn't wanna stay HERE but they hand her a menu anyway. And just appetizers alone are like 30 bucks and she almost has a gotdamn heart attack.

"You know.... never mind." Evelynn gives the menu back and leaves.

Scene 3:

While Evelynn was at the restaurant, Arlen got in a fight with a rich boy in a clothing shop.

He swings at the rich boy, just with his fist. He catches the boy on the jaw. Doesn't hurt him much—and the rich boy knees him in the crotch.

While Arlen doubles over he decides, you know, maybe this isn't worth it. And he is gonna leave. But the rich boy grabs his arm, like, "No, bitch."

Arlen tries to elbow the rich boy in the face but misses. Rich Boy moves to put Arlen in a headlock but Arlen ducks out of the way. He unsheathes the blade hidden in his cybernetic arm as he ducks, and stabs the rich boy right in the shoulder.

The rich boy is like "what the FUCK this guy just stabbed me!" and grabs his shoulder, bleeding.

Arlen just puts his hands up, like, "It was an accident!" (it was not)

He gets tackled to the ground by security guards.

Scene 4:

Evelynn overhears a guard's walkie talkie.

"He WHAT? A blade came outta WHERE?!"

Eve makes this face because she just Knows. So she takes a lil look at the mall complex map and sees "security station" and figures that's where he has to be and, of course, heads that way.

It's pretty fancy for Mall Jail, just like everything there is, like there's a small desk and a guy sitting behind it with his feet up, and to one side there's a corridor of cells that have electronic locks on them, and little windows about head height to the average person.

So she goes up to desk. And there's only this one guy here, I mean, it's MALL jail, not too many guys are brought in for STABBING so the security is lax. Evelynn tries to charm her way into getting let back to "talk to her friend."

She charms the pants off of him. So he agrees to let her go back there, but obviously she needs to be accompanied because, y'know, it's mall jail, people can't just walk around all willy nilly. She tries to turn the charm on again.

"Sir, I would never do anything fishy, I just want to talk to my friend and tell him what an idiot he is."

The guard insists, he HAS to go with her. So she's like okay, okay fine. Coulda been so easy but now she's gotta fight.

They go back there together. She describes Arlen, and he knows exactly the little shit she's talking about. "Stabbed a guy"

Evelynn says, "Sounds about right."

So he shows her to the cell and opens the little sliding window so Arlen can hear and see her .

"So you stabbed a guy, huh?"

"Listen, I got swept up in the moment"

Evelynn is just like Oh My God, she is mcfreakin done with him (but not enough to just leave without him) so she's like, "Well are they calling like, real police? No offense, mall cop."

Arlen shrugs.

Evelynn sighs. "Okay."

She whirls around and slams her fist into the security guard's face—the guy's nose is bleeding and he grabs for it, while his other hand goes for his taser. She tries to grab that hand aaand fails. The guard gets his taser out, and she tries to get out of the way bc those things can kinda spring at ya but she does not succeed. She gets shocked—but she's still trucking, whatever, it's cool, and she tries to hit away the hand holding the taser and bring her leg up to kick him in the crotch at the same time and she? kinda gets him? a little, but falls down because what is balance.

The guy tries to kick her while she's on the floor, and she tries to roll out of the way—but he kinda gets a bit of her. She's kinda hurting but she manages to get back on her feet and she's crouching now, and she's kinda tired of this bitch, so she flicks out her switchblade and lunges for his leg, trying to stab him in the knee—

This guy totally sidesteps her knife, and tries to kick her again, she dodges the kick and jumps to her feet.

She doesn't wait, tries to stab at him again, this time aiming for the belly because it's kinda personal now—he TASERED HER after all—and she nicks him.

He tries to retaliate with his taser and she tries to quickly jump away but she slams into the door to Arlen's holding cell. So she dodges but her back slams up against a door to one of the cells. She kicks out, trying to get the guy in the crotch, but she misses.

He catches her foot and pulls, and she goes down, falling right on her back. She kicks out with her other leg at his knees and BOOM hits right in the fuckin kneecap��his knee gives out and he falls, hitting his head and passing out on the way down. Maybe from pain, maybe from concussion, Eve doesn't know and Does Not Care.

Arlen has just been watching the whole time. (Only has the one close range weapon.)

She turns to Arlen, the little shit, and is like "Thanks for the help, dude" All sarcastic, of course.

He does that like, wink, finger gun motion where you click your tongue.

"Okay, so let's figure out how to get you out of here." There aren't any locks to pick, it's a hand-print pressure pad...

Evelynn is like aw yis and grabs the unconscious security guard by his arm and drags him over and struggles to get this guy up far enough that his hand can touch the pad, Thank God for her metal arm.

The thing beeps a positive and the door unlocks, and Evelynn opens it and just gives Arlen this LOOK. This L O O K like "you little shit, do you see all the trouble I went through for you" kind of a look.

He grins.

Eve says "Let's just get the hell out of here, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah"

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

💀you survive in mother freaking Australia. I live in awe and fear of you and wish I could send you like a cooler of ice

I love you and would protect you, if you came over here.

.

On a related note...

...remember how we had the 7ft carpet snake in the car in like Dec/Jan this year... and then the brown snake under the house in the same week (left of own accord, polite little guy)... 

...did i ever tell you guys about how we ended up with a 9ft greensnake in the kitchen cupboard in January? That was hilarious. Cats were circling, circling, meowing... we investigate, and the poor little bugger’s all wrapped up in the cupboard; clearly snuck in for relief from the heat.

The snakecatcher we use is a little expensive, but available 24hrs, and is trained for rehabilitation, treatments and release... came out at like 8pm to get the little guy, which was nice. No one really anticipated how long the snek was going to be, tho... the second catcher just found the head and started lifting him out bare-handed... and then suddenly, more snek... and MORE snek... and MORE SNEK kept coming

it was legit hilarious, like a magician’s scarf trick i tell you what

Snek was safely taken away and released tho

The thing is, if they’re in the house, the car, or somewhere you know that they are a problem... then you get a catcher. If they’re a poisonous variety, also a snake catcher.

We only kill them if it’s an absolute us or them sort of dealio, and it has been a few times. When a brown snake shoots up out of the hole you’re digging and goes for the legs... take ‘em out. Otherwise, let them exist, they were here first, this is their home too. Like with the roos, wallabies, the four million quail that give you a heart attack everytime you step into ass-deep grass...etc.

If they’re not a problem, or just chilling in the paddock away from everyone, let them go. Keep animals and children away, and pay attention until they’re gone/make sure you know WHERE. 

-

Also have you ever heard a horny male koala, this one bloke (bc we’re in a koala corridor) randomly arrives every few seasons and makes this loud grunting sound (’heeeeey, hey baby, i wanna knooooow, knoooow, if you’ll be my girl?’) that echoes... and he’s a big dude. Like, if it was that dude vs a 7yr old, i’m not sure who would win... very dropbearlike.

-

Goannas are annoying tho.

They’re BIG. Like, they are a problem... like stubborn little scaly satan lizards. Mostly it’s chill, but if they’re ina fight mood, gotdamn you’d better be realy to throw down. I fought one with a shovel once... he lived, didn’t hurt him too much, just told him a universal ‘fuck off’ and he left sulkily.

Kookaburras eat snakes and also other baby birds, they laugh bc hey delight in murder

Galahs are dumb af, also feathery assholes (like parrots)

Rainbow Lorrikeets are adorable and to be protected

Kangaroos and Wallabies are chil if you are chill. They can also eviscerate you with their legs, cave in your ribs, or slash you pretty bad, don’t fuck with them.We used to have (and it’s concerning we haven’t seen them since Xmas) these 7ft fucking huge ripped dudes always appearing on the property. It was like a gotdamn cryptid, massive roos, no reason. They are safe with us, we don’t shoot at them, and hav water for them and all, etc. They come, eat the grass, do that flexing posturing shit if you enter the same paddock... if you have to exist in the same space, always keep something between you, but be aware they can jump high and fast at you. They cannot walk backwards, btw, so there’s that.

Never assume water makes you safe. Kangaroos and Wallabies have learned how to trick a predator into water (including humans), and drown them (force the head underwater). Which is amazing and horrifying that they learned that.

.

There’s a few fucky spiders that look tiny and innocent... but will murder you.

Red-back and Funnel webs are a problem, not so much here tho. We did have an infestation a few years back for some reason, had to get the place professionally red-back proofed. Even a can of spray and the sturdiest thong could not halt the onsaught.

on the other hand, a *technically* harmless spider that looks like satan’s worst nightmare is the Huntsman Spider... they can be aggressive af and as big as a dinner plate... every single angry one I have come across has gone for my face, which i one hell of a way to test your reflexes. They jump far and fast.But, they tend to keep worse spiders under control (daddy long legs do it too), and eat them. I let them live unless they’re in my space and refuse to fuck off... bc no one can live with a fist-sized fuzzy hellbeast hanging off the ceiling above them ad twitching every few minutes... th Thong forbids it.

-

Emus are actually sort of wankers, really, but can fight.

It’s cassowaries you need to fear (6ft murder birbs that look like god just went with whatever paint was left in the ‘make your own animals’ kit)... they have killed people, but to be fair, most of them provoked the birds in the attacks... 

-

Magpies, chill if you are chill.We used to feed some and the butcher birds in the area, never got swooped. But people in the town/city regions antagonise, throw stones, etc. and the birds are like, ‘you know what these humans need? immediate death from above’ bc they hav babies that need to be safe. So peeps end up using sticks and umbrellas and ice cream containers for protective helmets as they run under magpie trees in bby season.[Magpie will attack the highest point of a predator, so they will swoop an upraised stick, or your bike helmet and call it success]

Plovers were made in hell, and can go back there anytime. They have little barbs on each wing for slashing, love to swoop too.

-

Tasmanian devils are a thing, not like the looney tunes version tho. Aggressive, but also prone to diseases such as cancer.

Dingoes are not inherently bad. They are just living, people invaded their spaces and now it’s their fault apparently. Tourists antagonise them, and get bitten. Well, dogs bite when you provoke them too...? Leave dingoes alone 2k17 you drongos.

-

Australia has fascinating weather patterns too.

For example, random droughts where the fire warning meter goes from Low through to Catastrophic as the grass dies and the sun marinates us all.

Summer had 50 degree (C) temps again, some places were over. [the next person to tell us climate change isn’t real is going to become a new pair of shoes, bc SERIOUSLY?]

And also the flooding, my state is great at floods, usually 1-2 times a year... in 2011 we had like 3 floods in a row which was hilarious

Also the fact 75% of the state was flooded and they had to bring out ‘if it’s flooded, forget it’ to warn wankers NOT to drive INTO the water in the mistaken belief of ‘she’ll be right i can make it’ then needing the SES to save them...

we’re hoping it doesn’t flood right now, but there’s ankle deep water all over our paddock rn/nearly ocouldn’ get the car out bc of the thick mud, and we’re on a hill, so...

-

other dangerous animals: politiciansmy not be human, some are definitely a bunch of oceansincludes: crazy racist fish shop lady, super-rich what-is-a-woman-exactly? PM, speedos and onions wanker, and a whole cabinet of others.

-

Did i mention quails? those little fuckers are the master of jumpscares, five nights at ‘just trying to put the garbage out, why are you like this’ Quail Freddy’s...

Bilbys aren’t dangerous, tho, they’re just cute.Please remember to buy chocolate Easter Bilbys, as the companies that produce them Haigh’s Chocolates and Darrell Lea’s, both donate to/sponsor bilby conservation efforts. 

Oh, and the Paltypus is adorable, but males have a poisonous barb o their backfoot.

Also, you can handle an echidna in an emergency, but carefully. A carer brought one to our school once, and i got to pet the little guy, very cute 10/10, leave them alone in the wild, tho.

-

I forgot where i was going with this, and probs a bunch of animals, but thanks for the cute ask.