#IMissHerEveryday

[attorneyprod]

The craziest part is that this dress is from a high school dance that I bought myself from my waitress job after and before shcool. Twenty (20) plus years later and it still fits perfectly. Thank you mama!!! #blessed #gotitfrommymama #gotitfrommygrammy #imisshereveryday #loveyougrandma (at DoubleTree Los Angeles- Rosemead) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClJd5dMJtC5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[dazzlingstarz-23]

This is completely random but I was speaking to the sister who is in medical school on the phone a couple hours ago and she is making me feel really conflicted about my feelings towards her and the comments that she makes about our mom. Without getting to deep into it, it’s like...every time we talk about her she always keep indicating that she was a liar.

Yes, I’m sure no parents are perfect and I completely understand why she feels this way but it’s making me feel some type of way about it. I’m sure everyone has their own secrets and don’t really tell a lot of people about them. Even to their own children, friends, siblings or whatever. Hell, even I hide a lot of things about myself from my family that they don’t even know about.

I just feel....just really conflicted, confused, maybe a little angry? Like my sister is in medical school like I said and also is kinda of an entrepreneur. She really wants to sell jewelry, clothes, and wants to own her own business one day with a website. She always gets really excited about talking to me about it and wants me to join her as a business partner. 

She also wants to name it after our mom. 

It’s just sometimes I don’t understand how she says somethings positive about her one day then completely trash her the next. I mean I get that she feels angry, hurt, sad etc I was definitely depressed after she passed but maybe I don’t feel that way because I was around our mom all my life while she wasn’t? Maybe I’m still protecting her like I always have and am in denial about it? I don’t want to call my mom a liar. That’s not me. 

Did I feel some type of way that she was hiding the fact that her condition was getting worst? Yes I did. Did I feel some type of way that she told me at 18 years old, in my last year of high school, that I had another sister when all my life I thought I had two? Yes I did. Do I wish she was more honest with all of us in the last couple of months that she was still alive? Yes I do. 

But I could never ever label her as a liar. She was my rock my whole life. She was also my best friend. 

I guess I don’t want my mom to think that I am angry with her in a weird way. She was also very understanding, sweet, funny, kind, protective, bubbly, patient.

 I’m sure that she would understand everyone’s mixed emotions right now like she always would. I’m sure she would have felt really sad and guilty about hiding things from us. But what my sister doesn’t really understand as much as she claims to is that our mom was always very private about certain things about herself. The sister in medical school is aware about how private our mom was especially when it involves her health but she either keeps dismissing it or constantly reminds me that she knows about it but why does she do that?

Our mom was trying to deal with her condition everyday while pretending that she was okay. I do wish sometimes that she would have told me that she was slowly getting worst those last couple of months so that I would have been more mentally and emotionally prepared. It just makes me feel really sad sometimes thinking about it.

[okieapache70]

Day 3: My Role Model... My late grandmother. She was a nurse my entire life but at the age of 65, she got her bachelor in Psychiatry #FebruaryPhotoChallenge #PhotoOfTheDay #photochallenge #FebruaryChallenge #Winter #photoaday #photoadayfebruary #February2021 #ValentinesDay #ValentinesDay2021 #happylife #gonebutnotforgotten #FebruaryheartsbringMarchparades #mygranny #imisshereveryday https://www.instagram.com/p/CK44JW0hzMD/?igshid=v34x3b0uxl7i

[keenaruntherace]

Someone shared this with me today. I’m missing my special girl so much that my heart hurts. I still cry every day, several times a day.... #griefjourney #imisshereveryday #kayagirl #stillcrying #whydidyouleaveme (at Pagosa Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIU584knVUzCe4RWz1-82eDMa8YLlDbSvHKfQ80/?igshid=1j0dhi0njpv8u

[xunique13]

Spoiling myself=self care 💚❤💚 Life is too short to car about other people's judgements. A year ago seems so long ago, and those debates about pink and shit seem so small now in comparison. · · #imisshereveryday #pink #pinkaesthetic #starbucks #coffee #thelittlethings #selfcare #selflove #nojudgement #todayisrough #sad https://www.instagram.com/p/BurbApejLWk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10omcvntm9iit

[mascaraandchampagne]

just realizing i never hit share 🙄... so sweet 😍 #imisshereveryday #100dayshappy #mysisterskeeper1908 #round2 #day78

[joystclaire]

Three years ago today I said goodbye to my furry best friend, hiking buddy & adventure partner Maggie May. I’m so thankful for her & our 14 years together. But my heart still misses her every day - even now. She was happiness in fur & a free spirit who was happiest running wild & free. We lived lifetimes together.... 💕💕💕 #maggiemay #happinessinfur #copilot #imisshereveryday #dogsofinstagram #dogstagram #rescue #nothingisordinary https://www.instagram.com/p/BqNSv6Ln0r1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lm8i82bi8mip