#IMPOSTOR SYNDROME USING THAT TAG LOL

[folkookie97]

❝why'd you only call me when you're high?❞ — MYG

— SUMMARY: ❝ It's Yoongi's birthday and he starts feeling guilty for breaking up with you when you most needed him. ❞

— PAIRING: rockstar!yoongi x actress!reader

— TYPE: light angst, mild dark | rockstar!au, celebrities!au

— WORD COUNT: 907

— WARNINGS/TAGS: Part of "I Bet on Losing Dogs" One-Shots Collection, toxic love, exes to lovers, second chance romance, secret relationship, non-graphic smut (not with the reader), semi-public sex, Trust Issues, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, ambiguous/open ending, Unplanned Pregnancy, arguing, Yoongi is bad at feeling here (maybe a lil bit toxic too lol), This part is based on Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? (Arctic Monkeys), POV Second Person

— NOTES¹: This one-shot is part of the "I Bet On Losing Dogs" Collection, random scenarios of my AU where Yoongi is a toxic rockstar with trust issues and an alcohol addiction who secretly dated an actress at the beginning of her career.

— NOTES²: Happy bday Yoongi my sweetheart, I love you so much <3 (he was my ultimate bias from 2015 to 2019 guys, but I'll never get over him 😭😭)

— RELEASE DATE: March 08, 2024

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3

"So you must be the birthday guy of the party. Happy birthday, bro!"

Min Yoongi heard that last sentence a trillion times during the night, the insincerity of the congratulations already going unnoticed by his confused brain as he filled his body with an absurd amount of alcohol.

He hadn't been worried about nothing more since the last few hours. His face was no longer anything more than a mask whose faked fellow feeling had the sole intention of at least not making the situation even more uncomfortable for the guests and their random companions.

When the idea of celebrating his birthday with a party full of other celebrities came into his own mind, Yoongi didn't figured the bad scenarios that could happen at the private club. He just wanted to get rid of the feeling of loneliness that had been damaging him over the last few months. The impostor syndrome haunting him during sleepless nights with the creative block, whenever he tried writing some new songs for his new album.

The deadline until the new tour's start was short, and his patience was even shorter.

Yoongi just wanted to de-stress. Celebrate his special night with some friends from the same celebrities' world, drink a lot, eat some snacks and maybe have sex with random models. Everything he used doing before he met you.

All it took was drinking too much until he went to a far corner to make out with a Victoria's Secret's Angel who wasn't that famous, but at least made up for her lack of fame with her beauty and tongue technology.

However, maybe the weight of having a different mouth touching him after being used to feeling only someone specific for so long had been too much for his emotions heightened due alcohol.

Or maybe he felt guilty. Guilty for letting another woman touch him after sharing so many good moments with you.

Guilty for saying such cruel words to you during your latest arguments. Guilty for don't understanding your desire to see him publicly deny his dating rumors with other women. Guilty for accusing you of being paranoiac, too jealous and also accusing you of blame him for always putting his career before your relationship.

Guilty for never prioritizing you.

But mostly, guilty for leaving you when you needed him most. Guilty for accusing you of pregnancy trick for his fame and money. Guilty for always being a toxic boyfriend and already being a bad future dad.

Yoongi would always love you. He knew that. Everyone in his inner circle knew that. Even that hot model could realized that when he started crying right after cumming in her mouth.

But he didn't deserve your love. He didn't deserve your baby.

And being there, at his own pity party with his lips — and eyes — still swollen and more glasses in his hands as he continued greeting his guests only proved this cruel truth.

It was his fucking birthday. All he really wanted was being with you. Cuddling you, playing some of both of you favorite songs on his guitar, caressing your pregnant belly, talking to the baby...

Damn it! He just wanted you again. He just wanted being with you forever, being your husband. He wanted having a family with you. He needed to get you back. He needed his stupid party end up being useful, at least knocking some sense into his fucking mind.

With his vision blurred from tasting different colorful drinks, Yoongi searched for your number in his blocked contacts, letting out a long sigh with the increased guilt that hit in his chest when he realized that you didn't block him back.

So he pressed the call icon and waited.

Three rejected calls. Four missed calls. He could almost daydream, remembering you carrying your own shoes and calling him every possible curses while leaving your old apartment after one of your arguments.

Even though the clock on his cell phone showed that it was past three in the morning, he knew you were awake. Or at least you woken up with his fucking annoying stubbornness.

I'm so sorry love

It wasn't something very special, but it was as much as his high drunk state allowed him typing in your DMs without looking more stupid than his usual.

It wasn't a decent apology for everything he'd put you through lately. All the arguments, the swearing, the shade comments on the internet, his neglect about the baby...

Yoongi knew you deserved better words. You deserved all the love in the world. All the love he felt for you but never showed you in a healthy way.

But deep down, Yoongi knew you would answer him. He wasn't proud of being sure about that, but he knew it. He knew you better than you knew yourself.

Hi. Why'd you only call me when you're high?

And you unfortunately also knew him enough to know that alcohol was the cause behind his sudden motivation to contact you, after months of just ghosting your attempts to still save your relationship. Save your future family.

I'm so sorry

He practically repeated the same message before trying to click the call icon again.

This time, you answered, barely giving him time to process the situation before your trembling voice echoed through his phone. "Prove it to me without being fucking drunk as usual. Prove it to me without being at your stupid birthday party."

[pepprs]

what do you do for work it sounds fun:)

HIIII tysm for asking >:"~) i answered this in july 2022 and i actually think i explained it pretty well so im gonna just copy and paste what i said there!

i work at my alma mater (<- sentence i am still not used to saying. but i interned there for 4 yrs of undergrad and i just graduated [<- technically not "just" anymore, now its been over a yr since i graduated!] and work full time there now) in an office / department that does like… leadership and engagement stuff basically. and i help to design / write / plan / facilitate workshops and programs for ppl to connect meaningfully w each other in their everyday lives / environments and build community and figure out how to address social issues etc etc! it is extremely emotional both bc of the nature of the work but also bc (and i feel like i said this exact sentence recently on here lol) several of my my colleagues past and present are also my besties whom i am deeply enmeshed with and adore with my whole heart <3 so i consider myself very lucky bc some of the ppl i love most are all connected to this amazing place / initiative that is like… quite literally nationally recognized and renowned in the field btw lol. like we are pioneers at the forefront of this movement and it is soooooo much. but anyways i alsohave a very turbulent offline life LMAO and half the posts in the tag [#work tag 2] are abt like.. me navigating our dynamics or grappling w impostor syndrome / anxiety / the pression / whatever. but it’s a rly good time i love it so much… litcherally my dream job 🥰

[jikanet-tanaka]

5, 14, 16 and 30 for the AO3 wrapped asks :D

Thank you for the ask!

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

After I finished the game Prey, I decided to write a little one-shot since I loved the twist at the end. It seems like a pretty small fandom (understandable since the game is so niche and all), so I was surprised by the number of kudos that I got. I really expected that no one would read it lol.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

Again, it's my Prey one-shot. It's fun, writing shorter fics. I should do it more often.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Huh! That's a good one. It made me realize that I don't use a lot of tags in fact. Perhaps I should?

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

It's actually gotten easier to write romantic interations between characters? I usually write gen fics (and I'm not that interested in reading romance in the first place lol) so that was new for me. I still have a bit of an impostor's syndrome related to this, though. Seems like it's just easier and more natural for me to write platonical relationships * shrug *

[moriemur]

i said i’d post her so here’s my first painting on my new tablet!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s my  SW5E character, a true neutral chiss guardian ex-sith with a purple doublesaber on the run from her old master. she’s called ariaa and she’s gay

[always-a-joyful-note]

I’ve passed 52% (yay!) and I have so many thoughts written down (yes, I take notes while reading (mostly keyboard smashes, though)). But I’m just gonna appreciate all of the relationships being portrayed here between the characters. And the level of complexity their personalities and worldviews and arcs are allowed. And also the fact that they’re allowed to show deep, deep emotion as much as they hide/deny it...and that their changes are so brutally shown to us readers and the people around them.

Just how? I don’t know how this book managed to show such character development, such a progression and changing of relationships, such nuance between characters (not just Dokja @ everyone, but also between the sides themselves), such belief in each other and the person they’ve become (312′s “I believe in the story they had built” - I’m dead), such lightheartedness but also such depth between everyone...

*suddenly throws the book into the wall* And how does it keep one devastating me with all these random exchanges!?!? It’s happening so close to each other and yet it seems so well built-up and paced?! I cannot....

[galatially]

Pietro + wall sex??

i got just the thing! 😉😉

❝𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡❞

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝’𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲!𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 x 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 —it seemed to be inevitable that you’d consume me wholly and surely

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 3.8K

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢��𝐠𝐬 —𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈, 𝟏𝟖+, strong language, one night stand, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kids) cocky!pietro maximoff (trust me, he's a warning), honorifics (baby, honey, pretty girl)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — i'm so sorry this was so late, nonnie 😫🫣

between work, moving, my emotions, and tons of impostor syndrome, this took me longer than i intended. this went through, like, five rewrites before i just bunkered down and wrote lol. i hope you like it!

i don't have a tag list but i do have a library where all of my works live @galatially-wrote so please check it out!

as always, dividers by @firefly-graphics!

You stood on the front porch of the Tau Nu Theta fraternity chewing the inside of your cheek.  

You can do this. It’s just a party. 

You leaned back on your heels, contemplating turning around and waiting for the next available shuttle to take you back to your apartment. 

Your smart watch vibrated; are you here yet? 

Green eyes — more hazel than green, let’s be honest — flashed in your mind’s eye, her dark brows bowed in concern. If you left now, she’d think something was up and you weren’t ready for that conversation just yet. You squared your shoulders and made your way into the house. 

“Y/L/N! You made it!”

Arms pulled you into a hard chest and you let out a breathless chuckle. “Hey, Cap.” 

The six foot four blond pulled back, a broad, hazy smile cutting along his lips. “Me and Wanda were startin’ to get worried.”

Of course they were. 

In fairness, you’re absolutely horrible with checking your phone. Which is funny because you’re a computer science major and having an internet and social presence is key. The amount of notifications cluttering your phone screen is horrendous and the main argument between you and Wanda most days.  

“I lost track of time. M’sorry.” 

“You look amazing.” A teasing glint shone in his eyes. “Are you planning to cozy up to someone tonight?”

“‘Cozy up to’? You’re such an old man, Rogers.”

“And you’re avoiding the question.”

You rolled your eyes. “Where’s Wan?”

Steve shrugged. “Last I saw her, she was with Nat and Hawk near the living room but that was at least an hour or so ago.”

“Great,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck. “Guess I’m babysitting tonight.”

He let out a hearty belly laugh. “Looks like.” He waved his arms out. “Eat, drink, be merry, and don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.” He gave you a quick peck to the cheek and disappeared into the crowd of students. 

“Y/N!” 

Arms locked around your middle and you had to brace yourself, tightening your calves to keep rooted to the ground. Still, you felt the stretch of a smile cutting across your lips. For her being six months older than you, Wanda Maximoff had a youthfulness to her that was infectious. Never without a bright smile, she was walking sunshine. 

“Where have you been! I texted you an hour ago!”

You pointed to your perfectly styled coils. “My hair wasn’t going to style itself. That, and I had my phone on silent all day.”

“Of course you did,” she rolled her eyes, “why do you hate me?”

“The only dramatic one between me always has to be me, you know that.” 

Wanda puffed her cheeks some. “You’re so mean to me.”

You lightly pinched her cheeks and gave her a winning smile. “Love you, too, babes.” She chuckled. “There she is! Being angry doesn’t suit you.”

“Promise me you’ll have fun tonight? Like, don’t stand in dark corners away from everyone and actually have fun?” She held up her pinky. “Promise?”

“Really? Pinky swear, Wan? That’s my thing.”

“Yeah, well, I’m using it. So fucking promise me that you’re gonna let loose and have fucking fun, okay? As your best friend since third grade.” 

You linked your pinky with hers, trying to hide your smile. “You worry too much, Mom.”

“The only person I want calling me Mom is Nat,” she said, smirking at the twisting of your face.

You had to hand it to them; Tau Nu Theta could throw a party.

The spirits were top shelf and the music was more than decent where you found yourself dancing with a group of friends from one of your elective courses. Erik Steven’s girlfriend — everyone called her ‘Shorty’ — and her friends were some of the first people you’d befriended during Freshman Week and you’re glad that you did. 

“Get it, Y/N!” JoJo cheered. 

You and Marcelle were dancing alongside JoJo and Shorty to the music, your laughter echoing each other’s. 

“All right,” Marcelle said, her hands up, “I need something to drink. I’ll be back.” 

“I’m comin’ too, Mari! Y’all want something?”

You and Shorty shook your heads and waved as they walked off. 

“I’m glad you finally made it out tonight, girl,” she said, smiling. “I never get to see you outside of work and class.”

“I know,” you said, fanning yourself. “Jojo and Mari are a trip.”

“Yeah, you get used to them.”

Of all of your college friends, Erik’s girl was your closest. After bonding over having J-pop phases in middle school, you two were inseparable. She was sweet, caring, and had a shoe collection that you were jealous of. 

“We should start hanging out more.”

“Yeah!” Her brown eyes brightened. “Our friend, Ororo, has a really nice apartment that’s not far from campus and she’s always got the best wine. We watch Insecure on Sundays. Well, rewatch it. It’s a fucking mess and we love it.”

“I’d love to hang out with y’all. And talk about how fine Y’lan Noel is.”

“I knew I liked you, Y/N.”

“Y/N?”

You turned, a surprised chuckle leaving your chest. “Kurt?”

He pulled you into his arms, a warm laugh rumbling in his chest. “If I knew that you were coming, I’d have picked you up.”

“I didn’t think I was, if I’m honest.” You turned to your friend. “This is Shorty, one of my very good friends. Shorty, this is Kurt.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Kurt said, shaking her hand. 

“I’m gonna go find Mari and JoJo, but text me, okay?” 

You nodded and gave her a hug before she walked towards the direction of her friends. 

Kurt rubbed at the back of his neck. “Small world, huh?”

“Kind of,” you said, chuckling. “You cut your hair.”

Kurt ran a hand along his head, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, it was kind of spur of the moment. I was talking to Kitty — you remember Kitty, right? — and she made a comment about how long my hair has gotten. I don’t know, I just thought that maybe it was time to cut it.”

You reached out and ran your fingertips along his hairline, a smile softening on your lips. “I think it looks nice. Shows more of your face.”

Lights shades of pink colored the apples of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. “Still the charmer, I see.” 

“No, I’m not. You just don’t like when people compliment you, Wagner.”

“Sure, sure.” He playfully waved you off before his eyes softened. “How have you been?”

You shrugged. “Working, studying, rinse, repeat. You?”

“Me and Kitty are going to her family’s for a few days. Classes have been difficult but manageable. Still have your study sheets to thank for that.” He chuckled. “It’s good to see you, Y/N, truly. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Kurt. Maybe once the semester slows down, me, you, and Kitty can hang out sometime.”

“Definitely,” he said, smiling. “Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”

You agreed and pulled him into a hug. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple and waved before he disappeared into the crowd of students. 

Your mind flashed back to the last time you’d seen Kurt Wagner: a warmth behind a sad smile you knew you didn’t deserve on a snowy November evening in downtown Manhattan as you told him you’d wanted to be friends. The last kiss, only on the corner of his mouth, as you left him in the far corner booth. 

But unlike most of your other exes, Kurt meant it. He’d meet you for coffee after a long day or a late dinner after work without expecting anything. Sometimes it made you worry you’d made a mistake ending your relationship. That you’d given up the warmest sun for something that may never look you over. The feelings dulled as your work and school loads kept you busier, relegating your conversations to the ever odd text or Snapchat streak.

You let out a sigh and made your way into the heart of the crowd. While you weren’t reserved by any means, you still weren’t used to partying at fraternity houses. Thankfully, the members of Tau Nu Theta — TNT, affectionately — were decent (save for the “douchey trio” of Paul Diskant, Bryce Langley, and Ransom Drysdale), probably because of your friendship with the sister of a legacy member. 

A certain legacy member that wanted nothing to do with you. 

After finally making it across the room, you found a drink table and grabbed a red solo cup of spiked sweet tea. You took a sip, leaning up against a free wall. Your eyes scanned the party for something, or rather someone. It was foolish, you knew that, but you couldn’t help to look for…

“Pietro, you’re so funny!”

Your gaze cut to the couch a few feet away from you. The woman — a willowy blonde — had her hands in his now pure white hair, a bright smile on her lips. 

Pietro cupped his admirer’s face, his blue eyes drinking her in. His lips moved but the words were drowned out by the music. He probably cracked one of those corny jokes he gets from that dumb Instagram account he showed you sophomore year. Maybe he’s saying something dirty in Transian that made her giggle like that. 

Your fingers tensed around the plastic cup. You wanted to go over to them, exist in their vacuum just to see if he’d react. Or you could confront him; who was he to pretend that you didn’t exist?

“See something you like?”

You jumped at the voice, a shrill squeak leaving you as he cackled. “Jesus Christ, Clint! What the fuck! You almost made me spill my drink!” 

He outstretched his arms, his green and white letterman jacket flapping with his movements. “Bring it in!”

You stepped into his arms. The stench of weed clung to him and you chuckled against the side of his ear. “I see you’re winding down already.”

“And you’re staring at Maximoff.”

Warmth pooled in your cheeks. “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Yeah?” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “I can go get ‘im for you.”

You swatted at his arm. “Stop! I’m not looking at Pietro, I just happened to look where he was sitting for a second. I wasn’t even thinking of anything.”

Clint snorted. “I’m high, Y/L/N, not blind.”

“Exactly. You’re seeing shit.”

“Hawk!” Wanda’s cheek were flushed pink, her eyes drooped, her curls bigger than when she’d last seen her. “And Y/N! Love of my life!”

“Baby Maximoff!” Clint draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, a smirk on his lips. “I think the love of your life is plotting on your brother.”

“Y/N, how does Hawk know you like Pietro?”

Your eyes widened. “Wanda!”

Clint between the two of you. “Am I missin’ somethin’ here? You and Maximoff a thing?”

“Definitely not,” you let out a hard chuckle, “I’d rather chew broken glass.”

“Me, Pietro, and Y/N grew up together and she used to have the biggest crush on him.” You threw Wanda a hot glare. “What? You did! It was cute!”

“We were eleven, Wan. It was years ago.”

“Fine, fine,” she held her hands up, “I’m just saying that it would be, like, fate or something if you guys did end up together. You’d be my sister in real life!”

“Clint, could you take Wanda and get her some water? Before she tells the whole fraternity something else embarrassing about me?”

The blond nodded and half-carried, half-guided your best friend to one of the empty bedrooms. You were shaking, tears threatening against the corners of your eyes. You turned towards the direction of the kitchen and caught sight of Pietro, his blue eyes burning your skin. 

“Y/L/N.”

You don’t take your gaze from the open refrigerator as you answer him. “Maximoff.” 

He took hold of your forearm and slammed the refrigerator door shut. “You gonna keep ignoring me all night?”

Your features canted and turned to face him. “What are you talking about? I’m not ignoring you.”

Pietro snorted. “So I just imagined you walking past me without speaking? Or you pretending you didn’t see me a few minutes ago?”

“Not everything’s all about you, Maximoff, sorry to say,” you sniffed, shrugging. “Besides, you could’ve tried to talk to me yourself.”

“Or I could just stare at you longingly from across the room,” he said, a smirk ghosting at the corners of his mouth. 

Your features flattened. “That’s not funny.”

“No one’s laughing.”

You made an annoyed noise. “Do you need something, Pietro? Don’t you have some sorority girls to bother or something?”

“Not at the moment, no.” He moved closer towards you, his arms caging you in against the fridge. His cologne filled your lungs, heady and spicy. “I’m all yours.”

You looked towards the kitchen entryway. “Someone could see us.”

“So? We’re just talking.” His eyes fell to your lips. “Unless you want to have a different conversation upstairs.”

You rolled your eyes. “Is sex all you think about?”

“I think about fucking you fairly often, Y/L/N.”

Your breath caught some. “We shouldn’t be doing this, Pietro.”

His thick brows pulled down in confusion. “Why not? We’re consenting adults. I’m single — ”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I’m single enough,” he clarified. “And last I checked, you’re not attached to that douchebag anymore.”

“His name is Kurt and you don’t get to talk about him.” You frowned up at Pietro. “Who I’m with is none of your concern anymore.”

“I don’t like anyone that’s been with you that isn’t me.” His fingers played at the end of your skirt, a deep smirk dimpling his cheeks. “I bet you’re fucking drenched right now.”

“Pietro,” you warned, gripping his wrist. “Don’t.”

“What’s wrong, scared someone will catch me with my hands up your dress?” Said hands skimmed the skin of your thighs, ghosting along the curves of your hips. “You didn’t seem to mind it when we used to hang out sophomore year.”

You tightened your jaw. “Fuck you, Pietro.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, yes.”

He leaned in close, his breath fanning over your lips. His lashes sat full and dark atop the apples of his cheeks. His nose, aquiline and dusted with freckles varying in opacity, almost kissing the tip of yours. 

Your body buzzed with excitement — he was going to kiss you. You wanted him to kiss you. That should’ve pissed you off how hungry you were for the feel of his lips against yours. Memories of moments past played in your mind: the first night you’d kissed, the first time he took you to bed. It was stupid to hold on to them, to wish that they’d never passed. 

You let your eyes slowly shut, your chin lifted so slightly to close the distance. 

Voices drifted towards the kitchen entryway and Pietro eased back, his brown eyes darker. “Meet me upstairs in five minutes.”

You blinked slowly. “What?”

“Meet me upstairs in five minutes,” he repeated teasingly, “we’ll finish this conversation once and for all.”

“Y/N!”

Wanda rushed up to you, throwing herself into your arms.

“Wanda? You okay?” You wrinkled your nose. “You smell like Hawk’s stash.”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to blurt all that stuff out about you and my brother.”

Of fucking course. Of all of the times to deal with a stoned Wanda, this was not it. 

“You’re fine, Wan. I don’t even care anymore.”

“I know that’s a touchy thing and I didn’t mean anything. Really.”

You nodded, your eyes following Pietro as he ascends the stairs. “I’m good. I’m just going to find a room to clear my head.”

“I can have Steve or Clint take you home,” she offered, concern in her tone. “Or do you want me to take you? Let me just grab my stuff.”

“Wanda,” you took hold of her hands, “I promise I’m good. I just need a minute to myself.”

“But — ”

You shook your head. “If I still feel weird, I’ll make Hawk take me home, yeah?” Your watch vibrated and you prayed that your face didn’t betray you. 

Glassy-eyed, Wanda gave you a once over. “If you’re sure.” 

You held up your hand. “I promise. I’ll text you if I need anything.” You nodded towards Clint and Natasha. “Go have fun.”

She opened her mouth to say something but is called away by Natasha. 

You waited until she was completely distracted by the redhead before ambling up the staircase. You glanced at the message on your watch: I’m the last door on the right at the very end of the hall. As you passed other students — almost stopping when you catch sight of a familiar brown-eyed freshman with wild, curly hair who was definitely too young to be drinking — you thought how insane this was. 

As you got closer to the room, the music from the party below faded. A sudden spread of heat rippled up your spine and pooled in your belly. You barely got the door open before you were yanked inside, lips molded against yours. His large hands cupped the back of your neck and held you against his mouth. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to do that again?”

You shook your head, your ears ringing. 

“That party…I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about you, Y/N.”

“Don’t give me that sentimental shit, Maximoff.” 

“I’m not — ”

You palmed the outline of his bulge and gave him a hard stare. “You’re going to fuck me and then we’re never speaking of this again. No more snide comments about sophomore year or about my relationships. We don’t speak.” You worked your panties down your thighs and lifted your skirt higher, your eyes cutting to his. “Well? You going to fuck me or what, Maximoff?”

His hands pawed at your hips and pushed you against the wall, hooking one of your legs around his waist. 

“Fuck me from behind,” you said, “I don’t want to look in your eyes.”

Something passed in his eyes, something pained, but he just nodded and spun you to face the wall. You heard the clinking of his belt being undone and blew out a breath. Just one night — you could do that, right? Finally get Pietro out of your system and come out as unscathed as you could. 

The heavy head of his cock pushed into your needy cunt, a choked groan passing your lips. 

Sharp hisses of “don’t stop” and “right fucking there” left your lips as his hips rocked you into the wooden walls. He was thrusting slow and deep on purpose and you tightened around him. “Pietro, please.”

“Please, what, pretty girl?” You could hear the sneer in his voice. “I’m just doing what you asked. ‘M fucking you.”

You let out a garbled sob. 

“Oh, what’s wrong, Y/N? You don’t like how slow I’m going?” He wrapped a large hand around the front of your neck and pulled you into his chest. The angle made him hit the spongy part inside you and you mewled. “You sound so pretty, baby. Like a goddamn song.”

He picked up his pace, wet, sticky noises echoing throughout the room as you struggle to catch your breath. Like you were watching your life through another’s eyes, memories of the last time you and Pietro fucked played in your mind’s eye. How contrasted then was to now: he was sweeter then, gentler. His hands cupped your face as he kissed you soft and slow. He’d consumed you — swallowed every sigh and moan and whine you let out. 

But this Pietro was a man unhinged. His hips snapped into your pelvis and his hands gripped you hard enough to leave bruises. Never mind that you’d asked for this or that he complied so easily.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum.”

“Yeah? You gonna soak my cock, honey? Get it nice and wet for me?” His breath warmed the shell of your ear and you felt that familiar coil tighten in your belly. He leaned forward so that your forehead was resting against the wall, his hand leaving your neck to rub at your clit. You let out a wailing moan. “That’s it, pretty girl, that’s it. Cum for me just like that.”

You let out a wailing sound, a cross between a moan and a cry, and came with everything you had. You tightened around his cock and he let out a groan, spilling into you. 

His chest fell and rose against your back, his lips ghosting against your sweat-slick neck. “Stay.”

“What?”

“Stay the night. With me.” 

“We agreed that this was the last time, Pietro.” You slid your panties up your thighs and fixed the straps of your dress. “The next time we see each other, we’re going to be acquaintances. Familiar strangers, even. We’ve never touched, never been alone together.”

“You’re fucking serious.” An incredulous snort left his lips. “Why are you so determined to ruin something good before it even starts?” 

“Is this?” You turned to face him. “Something good?”

He furrowed his dark brows. “It could be.”

“Which parts? Getting close to me just to fuck me? Pretending to want to be with me?” You let out a scoff. “Was I just something to distract you? Were you bored and that’s why you fucked me?” 

“No, Y/N. I — ”

“You knew that I liked you, didn’t you?” Pietro paused. “You knew. And, what, you thought it was cute or, or pathetic, right? That I was still that dorky girl next door who was best friends with your sister.”

“That’s not true.”

“But you’ve done it before, right? Spun some pretty lies to some poor girl in Grady’s and, then what? You just pass by her on campus like she never existed?”

 “You’re not being fair, Y/N.”

You gave his chest a small shove. “It’s not about you, Maximoff. It’s about me. I’m allowed to protect myself.”

“I’m not going to hurt you. I would never.” He said it so vehemently, with such sureness, you couldn’t help but soften your features some. 

“You don’t think you already have?” Your voice broke. “I spent a fucking year trying to get over you. I broke Kurt’s heart, Pietro, and for what?” 

“Y/N…”

You shook your head and moved towards the door. “We’re done here, Pietro. For good.”

  𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — pietro is one of my favorite people to write, i swear. of course, i had to be angsty and ramble but i'm glad that i managed to write something after such a long time

[metastablephysicist]

since it’s warming up outside, I’m able to do homework in my backyard. the neighbor’s cat comes over for pets if she hears me--she’s very friendly.

lots of tasks are building up: 

branching ratio/decoupling constant calculations for various nuclear deformations of my isotopes

finish up research project

start writing up results for publication

write & submit a prospectus (so that I’m officially doing my thesis)

prepare for invited talk about impostor syndrome at another university

but right now I’m riding the excitement and good feelings of getting a nationally competitive award! I think that will help with my momentum.

zoomester studyblr challenge days 23-30 below the cut!

Day 23 - What’s some random miscellaneous piece of information that you just happen to know?

nautiluses can live for over 20 years, and can only reproduce starting at 15 years old. funky little dudes.

Day 24 - Share with us your favorite word (it can be in any language)

i like the word achuchar, which can mean to hug or cuddle. be careful not to use reflexive pronouns with it, as they can give it a more sexual meaning. (based off of Spain Spanish)

Day 25 - Tag someone who has great text posts.

@mathed-potatoes always manages to make me smile :)

Day 26 - What has been your best zoomester experience so far?

meeting my thesis advisor/research mentors for the first time in person (after a whole year of working together) is the icing on the zoomester cake. I hate cake but love icing (literally and figuratively). we sat 6+ feet apart outside and drank coffee. it was very exciting to meet with them in 3-D.

Day 27 - If you’re about to graduate, what’s something that you’ll miss from school? If you aren’t about to graduate, tell us something you really love about school.

I really love the satisfaction that comes from solving physics problems/figuring out programming assignments. I know that I’m unlikely to do similar things if it’s not assigned with a deadline. for really difficult problems, I can get frustrated/angry; I used to blow off that steam by sprinting up the massive hill outside my dorm. but when I finally understand how to get an answer, it’s my favorite thing.

Day 28 - Spill the tea about the things that you’ve done during the zoomester (Online shopping, courses taken, any hobby)

I’ve really gotten into baking cakes this semester! I even made a dog-friendly carrot cake for my roommate’s puppy.

I’ve had a relatively light course load. two of my classes reeeally annoy me. one is a thesis writing class that has felt like a waste of time. I’m already in the midst of my thesis but this class seems to be more about choosing a thesis topic. it would have been nice a few years ago maybe. the other is an online lab course. it’s okay, but the instructor is very disorganized and the lab manuals are extremely out of date--it would be one thing if I could just go into the lab and figure things out there, but I can’t.

I’ve also had a lot of time to work on my thesis! as soon as this week I could get approval to go into the lab and help run experiments, which I’m thrilled about.

Day 29 - Quick! Name your own aesthetic! or alternatively, what’s an aesthetic you’d like to try out?

mine is dark/science academia probably. I’m in the community of grey academia too. otherwise, idk? nuclearcore? lol

Day 30 - What’s the best advice someone has given you? 

I’m not really sure. I think I value support over advice; being able to work through my thoughts out loud & be listened to is better than being told what I should do.

[bigskydreaming]

That post about "I'll keep reading a fic that mischaracterizes Dick even if it angers me because the plot is interesting" but with Scott McCall. I'll come across genuinely interesting concepts and plots and power through for that even when Scott is portrayed negatively in the story, he's there at least and it's either that or wading through 99% of fic which centers Stiles/Sterek and the most common Scott tag being "Scott's a bad friend" ya know?

Honestly, what is it about Scott McCall and Dick Grayson that gets them (mis)treated so similarly by their respective fandoms?

Oh yeah, definitely. Tbh, part of why I’m so loud and obnoxious in Batfandom is because in TW fandom it eventually got to the point where I just had to stop reading fic completely, because I wasn’t finding anything that was Scott-friendly outside of the handful of writers I was already friends with and I just got fed up. And I’m too stubborn to do the same thing twice in two separate fandoms so I just....refuse to give up on DG fic by way of a rousing morning “Not today Satan” pep talk. fhslakhfkal

But honestly, the parallels, there are more than a few:

1) Obviously I do think the racism element has plenty to do with it. Especially in the way “is Scott really even Latino on the show though, I mean did they ever actually SAY it” arguments could be swapped out almost word for word with the “is Dick really even Romani in the comics though, I mean it was just a retcon” arguments. With the primary aim of arguments against this being a factor focusing on just invalidating the idea that either are characters of color in the first place, rather than examining the way people engage with these characters for signs of racism. Instead of trying to refute that there’s anything wrong with certain ways people interact with these characters, people jump right into “well there can’t be racism if the character in question isn’t even REALLY a character of color, y’know not like, a board-certified one with proper accreditation and everything.”

But its definitely interesting when you look at how Dick Grayson’s been perceived by fandom overall, like, in terms of looking back over the years. As someone who’s been in and out of DC fandoms to various degrees since the late 90s, as in before Dick was retconned as being Romani in the first place, and as I’ve said before, he used to be a LOT more popular and forgiven for stuff in the past in fandom.....like, I maintain that if you look back at the early 2000s-2010, aka when that retcon was not just written, but gradually and more fully spread into the fandom’s overall awareness and perception of the character....you can almost like, SEE the empathy gap suddenly click into place once he was more fully solidified as a character of color in a lot of fans’ minds. Even if they won’t admit it because that would require admitting to the racism that then began to seep into how they interacted with this character now, compared to how they’d interacted with this character in the past.

And I think the empathy gap - and the complete refusal to admit that’s even a thing, because its not like these are REALLY characters of color so why would it even apply - like, I think that goes a long way to explaining the way both Scott and Dick consistently have their traumas invalidated and ignored by large parts of their fandoms, with the focus always being shifted to how bad things that happen to them are really MORE bad for how they affect the people around them, etc.

2) It also I think has a lot to do with their personalities and the archetypes they both embody as empathetic caregiver types. I think I described it pretty well here in my BUABS fic:

“What do you know about Impostor Syndrome?"

"It's a term sometimes used to describe over-achievers who have trouble internalizing their accomplishments. Perfectionists who think they're frauds because they don't know how to take credit for their own achievements and say its because of luck or timing or something other people did," Dick frowned, puzzling through both the question and the aim of it. He raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like something that applies to someone as arrogant as me."

"Don't be a little shit, Dick," Dinah said with small smirk. "And you're right, I don't think any of that applies to you. However, it's also used in another capacity, to describe trauma survivors who are unable to internalize their own trauma. Who deflect from it, or mitigate it, treat it as less than it is on the basis that it wasn't as bad as what's happened to someone else. It's especially common in trauma survivors who are noted for being especially empathetic or who have caregiver personality types. People who are so used to self-identifying as someone whose role or purpose is in helping others, that they find themselves unable to identify as traumatized because it might shift the focus to themselves instead of people they feel need it more. Does that behavior sound a little more familiar?"

(For the record, that fic is set in the YJ universe, not the comics, and I go with the approach that Dick and Bruce have a much better relationship there than they do in the comics, and thus overall Dick’s mental health and self-esteem are better than in the comics, generally speaking. I only mention this as a tangent, but like....I think Impostor Syndrome as an issue for perfectionists and over-achievers with low self-esteem DOES pertain to comic book Dick Grayson as well as its trauma interpretation. But anyway).

But point is, I think that describes both Dick and Scott, and their respective approaches to dealing (or not dealing) with their personal traumas. This isn’t a problem in and of itself, as its a valid survivor reaction and issue plenty of people deal with....the problem lies in the willingness of fans to capitalize on the OPPORTUNITIES this presents, as fans of other characters, to keep the focus trained on the characters around these two, and THEIR issues, even at the expense of these two.

Basically, its not in either of their natures to ASK for help and forcefully DRAG focus and awareness to themselves and their issues, for a number of reasons including the fact that I don’t think either character feels they ‘deserve’ that focus or need that help more than other people need theirs. 

And because these characters are the empathetic caregiver archetypes in their respective ensembles, ie the ones who usually take the lead in reaching out to even characters who don’t normally ask for help themselves....there’s often no one else immediately popping up in reader awareness as like, a likely candidate to extend that same awareness and offer of aid to Dick and Scott even without them actually asking for it.

(Which, is a large part of my commitment to the theme “Stop assembling your ensembles with just ONE of each archetype, mix and match more, or like....use more hybrid archetypes so you don’t HAVE this problem, and also, stop limiting characters to JUST their archetypes, three-dimensional people aren’t confined to only acting upon a limited menu of actions and impulses, and neither should three-dimensional characters be.”)

And then of course there’s the additional component, linked to point #1, that a lot of people refuse to write other characters seeing their need for help or support or offering it even when they do see it, simply because like....they don’t WANT these characters to HAVE help or support.

3) The Intelligence Factor - as in, do they really have it? Both Scott McCall and Dick Grayson are repeatedly and consistently established in their respective canons as being extremely intelligent, and no, not JUST in emotional intelligence. I don’t like sounding like I’m undervaluing that particular form of intelligence, I’m just really irritated by the way people go about saying “oh I do admit they have very high emotional intelligence” like they’re throwing them some kind of a bone. LMAO. No. They both have high emotional intelligence, true, but they’re also extremely intelligent across the board in all other ways. Both are excellent strategists, quick-thinking and repeatedly out-maneuvering even other noted strategists, both display a quick grasp of new information and an ability to see how and where and when to PUT that information to use in practical applications, etc. These are not dumb characters, at ALL.

But fandoms have this weird committment to the idea that only the Smartest Person In The Room REALLY matters, and like, there can only be one of those per room, or like, at most two, so that they can be a matched pair and make kissing noises and then very smart babies, or like, they can be the doting (smart) father and his adored (smartest) son, all others can go home now.

Like, no, that’s not how that works. A room full of geniuses does not suddenly become a room full of ONE genius and a bunch of random and irrelevant cuz they’re dumb non-geniuses the second someone deemed King of the Smarties enters the room. That’s not a thing. Stop acting like that’s a thing, fandoms. Nobody’s intelligence is actually threatened by the presence of more than one character with notable intelligence. Also fuck off with the adoration of notable intelligence like people have more value the more decimal points of pi they can recite off the top of their head. That’s not a more evolved human being, that’s just a nerd. Nerds have value but no more than people who like, chose other life pursuits aside from nerddom.

(Not actually intended as a slight against nerds, just for the record. I say that as both a self-described nerd and also a self-loathing nerd and also lol I’m not a nerd. Look, I’m a very nuanced person okay. I put the complex in complex organism).

But the point here is not just that people are weird about there only being one true genius allowed per ensemble, its that people are WEIRD about how in order to ACTUALLY be smart, you need to like.....accurately match the factory specs for “this is how a smart person looks and behaves.”

And Scott and Dick do not look and behave that way. The sheer number of times - and similar ways - people try to completely discredit the idea they have more than one brain cell by pointing to times they’re being INTENTIONALLY goofy and being like “oh yeah, would a smart person do THAT, hmmmm”.....

Its like...yes? LOL. There is no law that says that a smart person can not be a goofball, or that they are no longer smart if they fulfill a certain quota of actions deemed ‘dopey’ by the official arbiters of smartness.

Similarly the way people like to point at stuff like “my mom buys the groceries” when the writers BEHIND the characters were intentionally trying to play up a comedic moment rather than make a sealed declaration of IQ, and be like, “see, would a smart person be THAT dumb, hmmm?”

First of all, yes, even going off the same canon people try and cite as proof Scott and Dick are too dumb to actually be smart.....you can literally find similarly ‘dumb’ moments for every other TW character....the Sheriff expressed incredulity that Stiles didn’t know what a pendant was, and Lydia was like wtf how are you this dumb at Stiles when he asked if she read the movie the Little Mermaid because he didn’t know there was also a book.....Allison made the same mistake about bestiary as Scott did because the writers were so impressed by that joke they literally had to do it twice....and do not get me STARTED on the number of moments I can point to in comics AND movies AND cartoons where everyone from Bruce to Tim to Jason to Damian and more, like, make utter bonehead moves or utter completely bonehead sentences.

Despite what rumors of my being an ancient eldritch being might have some believe, I did not actually know Albert Einstein personally, but I can still with complete confidence say I GUARANTEE that at more than one point in his life, even he did things that might have been pointed at by time-travelers on vacay as evidence that geez, old-timey smart people were really dumb, huh.

And I think we would all agree that Albert Einstein was actually a very smart man.

But yeah, point is, both Scott and Dick are very smart characters who for a lot of reasons - including personal choice, as in, they don’t really see the appeal in conforming to standards of what a smart person is SUPPOSED to be like (especially when those standards have a weird amount in common with tendencies often described as elitist or condescending or like, having or pertaining to the qualities of an asshole) - like, they just don’t typically behave or conduct themselves in ways that match up with a lot of the assumptions people have for what ‘makes’ a genius or what that’s supposed to look or sound like.

And because they don’t SEEM like they’re that smart, a lot of effort then gets put into insisting that they’re definitely not, and they can’t be, because see look how dumb here and here and here.....which then leeches over into other aspects of the characters and their stories and dynamics, and then combines with the issues resulting from Point 1 and Point 2 and probably two more I’m not thinking of at the moment but are definitely there so that by their powers combined.....fandom summons Captain Dumbass to take over most interactions with these particular characters. And thus repeatedly and insistently engages with these two and their stories only in very dumb, very limited, and VERY annoying ways.

[akitsune-lune]

Character ask with Cinderheart, Holyleaf, and Willowshine.

Thanks for the ask!!

Cinderheart

Sexuality Headcanon: aro-ace

Gender Headcanon: usually I think of her as cis and a little gnc or maybe transmasc

A ship I have with said character: I don’t have any <:

A BROTP I have with said character: Hollyleaf, Mousewhisker, Lionblazeee

A NOTP I have with said character: nah I think all ships I’ve seen with her are great. HollyCinder, CinderWillow, CinderHeather, LionCinder, go off

A random headcanon: she has some leftover memories from cinderpelt even after Cinderpelt’s spirit got yoinked. she freaks out around fire, thunderpaths, cats coming into the nursery unexpectedly, but also always felt fond of Cloudtail and Brackenfur, confident in her path in life, n such.

General Opinion over said character: Cinderheart’s a sweetheart. I like her a lot! she seems like such a hilarious character to choose for a reincarnation subplot? like she’s kind of just laidback nice jock like ‘o worm a spirit? aight’

Hollyleaf

Sexuality Headcanon: that There is a lesbian

Gender Headcanon: femme cis woman

A ship I have with said character: I love HollyHoneyyy so much.

A BROTP I have with said character: she and Ivypool would make good comrades.

A NOTP I have with said character: I uhh really don’t like HollyFallen. I mean I used to be ambivalent on it before I got aggressively into gay shipping dskjfldksj now it seems like the only straight pairing people can come up with for Hollyleaf while they ignore the two hundred excellent F/F ships right there for her. And though obviously it’s not an especially egregious example, I am also fiercely not a fan of immortal men and young women in a pairing.

however if we’re gonna write Calypso-esque myths about Fallen Leaves falling in love with everyone who wanders down into the tunnels only to be doomed to a solitary existence no matter what he tries I am Onboard With That

A random headcanon: after the DF battle (where she survives) she adopts like, every DF trainee.

General Opinion over said character: god she was like, my Number 1 when I read the series as a kid. The OGs will remember that my disclaimer tag was ‘I don’t own warriors (because if I did, Hollyleaf would be leader of ThunderClan)’. I identified really really strongly with her impostor syndrome and goody-two-shoes vibe, and also had an edgy streak that enjoyed the idea I could be driven to murder...? uhh

but yeah I don’t think she’s number 1 but definitely still close to my heart.

Willowshine

Sexuality Headcanon: oo this is tough. Most of my ships for her involve ladiesss so I’m going to say a sort of unlabelled sapphic asexuality.

Gender Headcanon: trans gal. both a cat and a cat girl

A ship I have with said character: I can’t really think of any that I would say are ‘my’ ships, I just enjoy seeing other people Brambledawn’s ship content involving her. So maybe HollyCinderWillow

A BROTP I have with said character: she and Kestrelflight would be iconic

A NOTP I have with said character: another where I haven’t really seen many ships involving her that I don’t like lol. I can’t see her and Jayfeather working as a couple without actually murdering each other but is shrug, I also understand why people would ship

A random headcanon: detroit become Mothwing’s daughter. I think their relationship would just be the most wholesomeeee thing

General Opinion over said character: Willowshine’s good! she’s not the sort I usually immediately flock to but I totally see her appeal. also I want to see Leafpool and Mothwing adopt her sdjkfsklldsf

[samfenderdaily]

Hi! None of my friends listen to Sam so I wanted to tell this to someone who likes him just as much as I do. It really stresses me out everytime I read/watch an interview and he says he know nothing as if he were real life Jon Snow, but then goes on and makes some really well-thought-out comments about politics or just society. Just because he's not "book smart" (like maybe going to uni). I always find his insight on stuff very interesting, and I wish he'd give himself more credit.

Yes! I was reading the article (the one I quoted in the last few posts) and the amount of times he put himself down bothered me a bit. This attitude could help him stay grounded but in the long run it’ll be damaging, especially for someone who’s as creative as him. 

Yes, he didn’t go to university and he lives in a town where diversity isn’t really a thing, so I understand why he feels (or used to feel) like a fish out of water in the music world of today. I don’t know if Sam noticed, but people who go to university - unless their field of study requires them to stay informed about current topics - don’t know much much about what’s going on in the world, also because they kinda live in a bubble. It’s those who don’t go to uni that experience first hand the consequences of the government’s incompetence. And I say this as someone who went to uni in the UK for a while... for most uni students it is like that.

Sam’s gone through more shit (pardon my French) than a lot of his peers. He’s from a town where kids start drinking too young, where drugs are the only escape. I believe that, hadn’t he found music, he would have felt even more trapped there, because there aren’t many opportunities for anyone, let alone young creative kids. 

But that ‘bleak reality’ is the subject of many of his songs, what he once saw as suffocating and oppressive is now inspiring and stimulating.

As I mentioned in the tags of one of my posts, I think he has imposter (impostor? I don’t know) syndrome. He feels like he doesn’t deserve all the praise that he gets. And yes, it’s good to keep yourself in check, but if you go beyond that you’ll end up feeling like a fraud. I think he feels like that also because he’s constantly asked about a lot of serious stuff and he has to come up with something new every time (he doesn’t wanna repeat himself because that would feel insincere to him). 

Sam is different than most artists today. I’m not saying that they don’t work as hard as him, but Sam’s early life experiences are drastically different, so he feels like he doesn’t belong and can’t relate to them. 

He also mentioned that he had proper anxiety attacks at the beginning of the year because he saw how busy he was going to be - Glastonbury Festival, album release, promo and touring - and panicked.

However, I feel that this is just a phase, he just needs some time to digest all of this. I think he said that in the past 7 months (since March I think, which is when he released Hypersonic Missiles) things have gone crazy. At one point he decided to stop drinking because he thought that it was the alcohol that was making him feel weird and spaced out, but after a month of being sober he realised it wasn’t that, it was just life. 

I think he just needs some time to adjust to this new life, after all he’s not alone in this, he’s surrounded by friends, people who know him as Sammy (and not as Sam Fender™) and they’ll support him through this.

I had a few other things to say but I can’t remember them for the life of me so this will have to do lol

P.S. this turned into an essay but I don’t regret anything :)

[skyysinger]

Pros and Cons of Dating: Sebha’to Bajhiri

“Why would anyone want to date me?”

Pros:

He is a very active listener. He wants to know all about what’s happened in your day today, and will be very careful not to interrupt. He’ll even offer a small amount of advice, and take your side in most conflicts. (Provided you aren’t COMPLETELY in the wrong.) As a wallflower, he’s quite used to listening when others speak, and as a result, he will match the situation and (hopefully!) offer exactly what you need.

If you get sick, you won’t stay sick for long. As an alchemist, Sebha’to knows exactly how to cure what ails you. He knows how to keep your immune system up, as well, and you’ll quickly find yourself fully stocked on all the curatives and reagents you could ever need.

He’s very affectionate! ... Once he trusts you, that is. Right now only his sister truly knows how much of a cuddle bug he really is. 

He knows his stuff! Discussing the finer points of alchemy or aether with him is sure to keep you occupied for a good while, and once you get him started on one of those subjects, he’s likely to ramble on for a bit by himself. 

HE’S CUTE!! Enough said. (He’d never admit it though.)

Cons:

He has no self-esteem. At all. He doesn’t even believe you want to date him. It MUST be some kind of joke, right? No one could EVER want to date HIM. You’ll have a very tough time convincing him that yes, you are serious, and you are sincerely interested in him.

He is a tightly-wound ball of anxiety. Partly connected to the above, Sebha’to can quickly and easily work himself into a paranoia-induced meltdown for a good number of reasons, including (but not limited to): impostor syndrome, fear of being led on, appearing too pushy or clingy, and being outed to anyone he doesn’t trust!

He gets frustrated easily. Learning new things comes with a host of problems on its own. Sebha’to is quick to throw in the towel if things don’t go his way immediately, and this can prove difficult to deal with. Patience is a virtue. (One that he doesn’t have.)

You’ll be watched. His twin sister is very protective of him, and will often keep tabs on him to make sure he won’t get into trouble. She’s also not above stabbing someone if they’ve hurt her precious brother. It may take a while for her to trust you enough to let you have peace and quiet. You’ve been warned...

He tends to withdraw. If something is wrong, he’s likely to disappear. Whatever troubles him only becomes multiplied and compounded as a result, as he tends not to allow himself to vent or communicate with anyone else. Though he does enjoy his space, this behavior is definitely not healthy...

Tagged by: @star-striking (bc I told them to... LOL)

Tagging: THIS TIME I’ll tag: @thedarkestdragonknight @talechaser-ffxiv @theaetherhealerffxiv @main-tanking @astromancy @quirkycoterie @healing-word @jarethnunh (if you haven’t done it already) @izhet and i’ve run out of names to think of DO IT IF YOU WANT

[pepprs]

u totally don't have to if you don't want to, vut would you be able to explain in detail (w/o doxxing urself obv im just v curious) about what your job is..? you've mentioned it b4 but i find it rly interesting how you talk about it and how emotional it seems to be, it seems very different from most ppl's jobs

omg hiii ok so i know i have 383629648348 asks to answer but i saw this one in my notifs (🤯) and i feel like it’s a good question to answer given the incessant posting ive been doing lately lol. describing it w/o doxxing myself is hard so this is gonna be a very like distilled version of it that doesn’t quite communicate the apeshitness of it all (and in some ways erroneously distorts it lol) but.. i work at my alma mater (<- sentence i am still not used to saying. but i interned there for 4 yrs of undergrad and i just graduated and work full time there now) in an office / department that does like… leadership and engagement stuff basically. and i help to design / write / plan / facilitate workshops and programs for ppl to connect meaningfully w each other in their everyday lives / environments and build community and figure out how to address social issues etc etc! it is extremely emotional both bc of the nature of the work but also bc (and i feel like i said this exact sentence recently on here lol) several of my my colleagues past and present are also my besties whom i am deeply enmeshed with and adore with my whole heart <3 so i consider myself very lucky bc some of the ppl i love most are all connected to this amazing place / initiative that is like… quite literally nationally recognized and renowned in the field btw lol. like we are pioneers at the forefront of this movement and it is soooooo much. but anyways i alsohave a very turbulent offline life LMAO and half the posts in the tag are abt like.. me navigating our dynamics or grappling w impostor syndrome / anxiety / the pression / whatever. but it’s a rly good time i love it so much… litcherally my dream job 🥰

[metazensae]

I'm gonna give you that 20 back guuurl! All the questions!

lol alright. taste of my own medicine ahahah

1: a video game you'd recommend

Ok, aside from FFIX and Dynasty Warriors (any of them really), I’ll give you something else: 

Rune Factory 4. It’s like a mix of Harvest Moon and Pokemon. Bye.

2: favourite pair of socks

3: an odd thing from your room

I learned how to sew so I could make it for S lol

4: if you made a gang what would the design/text on the back of our matching jackets be

You and me? ahhhh probably some Khadrim horns. It would read “Leave Me Alone.”5: if you were in a fantasy world what would be your 'trademark' item/feature

I answered this for Jade, but I forgot to include my weapon. I’d be a summoner who uses a flanged mace.

6: if you were an npc what quest would you give (and what reward)

I’d be one of those pre-final dungeon NPCs that ask you to collect information from randos in each of the world villages. Each rando probably has a quest too. You’d hate me, but you’d get some rare items out of it along the way. Ultimate reward? Equipable tome that triples experience to make end-game grinding less of a burden.

7: dream Lego set

I... don’t know... probably Jurassic Park? or OOOOOO Minas Tirith!!!!

8: do you have any scout badges

umm what? OH like girl scouts? I was in Missionettes, which is like the churchy version of it and yes, I have lots of badges that I no longer recall or care about.

9: a book you'd recommend

The Kite Runner. Or >>>>> Cursed bc T. Scianna

10: favourite 'made-up' creature from any universe

Leviathan from the Bible. He’s fucking badass, guys. Also pretty much the seraphim too. They’re scary as hell. Oh, is this offensive? If you don’t like this answer, then well... I really like Lurtz from Fellowship of the Ring. He’s a hot orc. Also, Smaug from the Hobbit. He was a hot dragon. lol I need help.

11: what instrument(s) do you play/any you wish you could play

Can play - flute, piccolo, & piano

Wanna play - cello, harp, and maybe guitar too?12: a character you wish you could pull off the perfect cosplay for

Come on. Kuja. This is obvi. (but there are lots. I already answered this extensively for Jade!)13: favourite Terrible™ movie

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m blanking right now. I saw pieces of Ratz! that’s all I can think of.

14: do you speak any other languages

I dabbled with Mandarin, Japanese, Korean, and Spanish. 15: how many time telling devices are in the room with you

My phone, and my computer, and my husband’s computer and phone, so that makes 4.16: a random useless fact you know

Don’t give or ask for directions using N, S, E, or W in NOLA. No one will understand you or what you’re talking about. All directions should be based off of landmarks with relation to bodies of water.17: create a tag urself meme description of yourself

talented afimpostor syndromereenergizes by cat piles

18: what is your weapon of choiceFlanged mace. (Is that cheating? I already said it.)

Ok, I’ll take regular maces too and morning stars. And flails. No, not flails - I’ll hit myself with it. Blunt and heavy. Thank you.

19: do you like _________ [default word is waffles]

I do like waffles, but I always burn them when I cook them.20: all the questions!! (and/or your own)

Ummm Why am I not in bed? Can’t sleep.