#IM SORRY IM WORKING ON ONE (POSSIBLY 2) FICS FOR A FEST

[chaoticowlpost]

helloooo if you’re taking prompts could i have drarry with babies ! like maybe they’re babysitting kids from the weasley family but none of the weasley members believe harry when he talks about the silly stunts draco sometimes pull to make the kids laugh

Hello I’m big dumbass and it appears that I’ve overestimated my ability to multitask so...im sorry ksdjfnfd also tHIS WAS SO CUTE AND FUN TO WRITE SO it’s getting multiple parts and nobody can stop me. Here’s day 1 <3

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“And you’re absolutely sure that you don’t mind watching over the kids?” Hermione asked for the nth time that morning.

“I told you already,” Harry said, trying to calm his best friend down. “It’ll be fine. We’ve managed before.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t all the Weasley kids before, was it?” she asked smartly, raising an eyebrow at him. “And it’s not just you I’m worried about. I know this means taking up Draco’s time as well.”

“He absolutely loves the children,” Harry grinned. “And they listen to him well enough. Now, go and enjoy Romania with the others, and you’ll see that there was nothing to worry about when you come back.”

Her gaze softened just a fraction before she threw her arms around him. “Thank you so much for doing this,” she said. “I really wish you could come with us.”

Harry couldn’t join them in visiting Charlie on this trip because of work and, while he does see the Weasleys as his family, he knew that Charlie wanted to introduce them to his boyfriend and Harry didn’t want to make the poor bloke more nervous by adding to the audience. He accidentally slipped that little bit of information the last time he visited, and Harry had managed to keep it a secret until now.

“I’ll see you in 3 days, ‘Mione,” Harry said once she finally released him.

“Kindly refrain from staining my trousers, young man,” a voice that was just loud enough to hint that he was not in his calmest moment sounded from the kitchen. Both Harry and Hermione exchanged glances for a second before breaking into huge grins. 

“Now, Victoire, do not tangle your sister’s hair- yes, darling, I know how to do a braid.”

“I believe that’s my cue to leave,” Hermione giggled. “Say goodbye to Draco for me.”

“Will do,” he smiled, waving her off before closing the door. “Draco! Do you need any help setting out lunch?”

He walked into the kitchen to see exactly 10 children running around the kitchen and sitting room, because Teddy was also present. In other words, it was a mess.

“Some help would be appreciated, yes,” Draco glared, bouncing Hugo at his hip while holding Roxanne’s hand. In Harry’s mind, however, all he could think about was how parenting looked good on his boyfriend.

“Right, I’ll cook while you settle everyone down, yeah?’ Harry offered, watching how the older kids ran around the place, teasing each other, while the younger ones were more enamored with the telly or, in Rose’s case, a book.

“Please,” Draco breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t think it would be such a great idea to have these ones near a stove.”

Their kitchen and living room were separated by a few meters of space and a counter top with some bar stools. This meant that Harry would still be able to keep an eye on some of them while he cooked in case Draco was distracted.

And really, how could you not get distracted when there were 10 small children running about the place.

First, he sat Roxanne down in front of the telly, next to Rose, and Louis. Fred, along with Victoire and Teddy, were running around and chasing each other in a game of tag, from what Harry gathered. Silently, he thanked Draco for talking him into buying the larger flat because he knew they’d have guests over.

And, luckily for his poor boyfriend, Lucy and Dominique were happy to sit around and just talk about some topic or the other.

“What would it take to get you to calm down before lunch?” It didn’t sound like Draco was pleading. In fact, it was almost comical the way he talked and bargained with them as if they were adults.

One of the children shouted a name of some TV show Harry’s never heard of.

“Yeah!” Louis agreed. “Mama never lets me watch that show.”

Harry watched as Draco raised an eyebrow at them, each with either sheepish or devious expressions. Then, contrary to what Harry expected to happen, Draco flicked over to the requested channel and eyed the cartoon skeptically before giving them an answering shrug.

“Looks fine to me,” Draco said before handing Teddy the remote. “Lunch should be ready soon.”

It was rather amusing to see a large group of children just staring wide-eyed at a TV screen, all enamored with the storyline. 

“Uncle Draco,” a soft voice said, making Harry look back over the counter. He saw Rose tug on Draco’s arm, grabbing his attention. Draco knelt down on one knee until they were at eye-level before asking what she needed.

“I don’t really like this show,” Rose admitted, looking down. “Can you read with me instead?”

“Of course,” Draco nodded, agreeing easily. 

“I read out loud, though,” the small girl frowned before throwing a worried glance at the rest. “They might get distracted.”

“Silencing charm,” Draco shrugged. “Besides, my mother used to always read to me aloud. When I was younger, she would read me stories while I acted them out in my bedroom. Sometimes with the house elves.”

“Really?” Rose asked with wide, curious eyes. “Can you act for my story, too?”

Without missing a beat, Draco responded, “If you’d like me too.”

They moved to the other side of the sitting room before casting a silencing charm. At first, it seemed that Rose was just reading shyly, but then burst into giggles once Draco said something, his mouth moving wordlessly through the charm, before giving her a deep, dramatic bow.

He began conjuring little sets and props around them as the story progressed, even making mini snowmen dance in their flat. Harry wasn’t exactly sure what the story was, but he was pretty entertained as well. At some point, Draco even handed her a toy sword - wherever he got that from.

“Woah,” Teddy gasped, looking at the scene behind him. More props continued to be produced while Draco acted his role proudly, almost as if he were a kid again. 

One by one, the children began to direct their attention towards what was happening behind them before finally deciding to make their way over and join the pair.

Harry was quite surprised they were willing to set aside their TV show so easily, but he liked that they were all doing something together nonetheless.

“I want to be the knight!” Louis called, taking hold of another toy sword. 

“Can I be the queen?” Victoire asked, waving her hand in the air.

“I’m already the queen,” Rose said apologetically. “She’s also the narrator.”

“You can be the princess that came to stop her,” Draco offered, producing a small tiara for her to wear. By the end of it, each had their own small prop that identified their characters.

If Harry were to judge, it felt like Teddy was more in it to poke the rest around with his sword, but he wasn’t going to judge. Not his problem. 

They repeated their lines after Rose read them aloud, perched happily on her own armchair. It was quite a mess to watch, seeing them argue about how some of the action scenes should play out and be melodramatic with their roles.

“Lunch is ready,” Harry called eventually, but his words were drowned out by Fred’s shout.

“Charge, soldiers!”

Perhaps lunch could wait, Harry figured with a small grin. 

-————————————————-

Masterlist

Send a Prompt

A/N: Okay, to the others who sent me prompts, chances are they’re in queue or I couldn’t help myself and it’s getting more than 1 part because there’s no fighting the inevitable. Sorry for the wait JHSBDFJSF ALSO day 2 and 3 of this will be posted alternating with the other stories in queue.

Thanks for reading <3

[outropeace]

elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

[karasunonolibero]

2019 writing self-evaluation

so i did this over on my main last year, and since i had what i felt was a productive year, i wanted to do it here! i’ve included all works, from every fandom i wrote for, so there’s definitely a variety but also a clear distinction of when i stopped writing 1d and started writing for haikyuu, heh. anyway, i’m proud of all the work i’ve done this year, so here’s to 2020!

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2019

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 50

2. Word count posted for the year: 147,038

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

two loves have i (5 january)

it’s only your imagination again (25 january)

the pain’s only temporary (8 february)

blow a kiss, fire a gun (9 may)

waiting to be found (14 may)

a swim with a shark (6 june)

sweet and lowdown (19 june)

one more time as if we planned it (24 june)

always be my thunder (23 july)

will your mouth read this truth (30 july)

tumblr drabbles & prompts (last updated 3 august)

I’m on my way up (’cos you make me bliss out) (completed 4 august) (collab with Rider_Of_Spades on ao3)

even mountains crumble into the sea (7 august)

we’re on each other’s team (14 august)

dangerous, tainted, flawed (20 august)

life can do terrible things (25 august)

the night before life goes on (1 september)

when the letter says a soldier’s coming home (17 september)

when the air ran out (19 september)

something missing tonight (21 september)

built castles from sand (26 september)

underneath the stars we came alive (8 october)

sweet talk and sugar (10 october)

got my name on this treasure (11 october)

just a little taste, babe (14 october)

iwaoi horror week drabbles (completed 1 november)

don’t let the tide come (31 october)

daisuga week drabbles (completed 24 november)

how (not) to put on a condom (26 november)

taste the tension, now i’m begging (2 december)

kiss the boy (7 december)

till tonight do us part (11 december)

i wish i could be there now (13 december)

on our way to twenty-seven (15 december)

for the dream far away (24 december)

a collar full of chemistry (25 december)

fall down and commune with me (28 december)

a little of love’s electricity (31 december)

the city is at war (last updated 31 december)

4. Fandoms I wrote for: (stats pulled from the ao3 filter feature on my works)

haikyuu!! (41)

one direction (9)

the legend of zelda: breath of the wild (3)

all time low (1)

crystalline (1)

5. Pairings: (i didn’t count side or past pairings)

iwaizumi hajime/oikawa tooru (14)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi (13)

oikawa tooru/sugawara koushi (4)

azumane asahi/nishinoya yuu (3)

kuroo tetsurou/sawamura daichi (2)

kuroo tetsurou/yaku morisuke (1)

akaashi keiji/oikawa tooru (1)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

sawamura daichi/terushima yuuji (1)

sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

link/revali (1)

mipha/zelda (1)

louis tomlinson/harry styles (5)

louis tomlinson/zayn malik (1)

alex gaskarth/louis tomlinson (1)

liam payne/louis tomlinson (1)

zack spade/pixel fade (1)

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: two loves have i (275)

Bookmarks: two loves have i (34)

Comments: two loves have i (25)

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

on our way to twenty-seven! i was digging into some identity and sexuality issues that i myself have dealt with in the past and writing about it was the first time i’d really dove into some of that stuff, so i really enjoyed writing it and i think it’s some of my best.

i’m also really proud of i’m taking back the crown and i wish i could say why. i just really like the way it came out. writing oikawa as this desperate dethroned prince trying to reclaim his kingdom at any cost only to be beaten at his own game in his own home was just...ugh. it was so much fun to write.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

one more time as if we planned it, definitely. i just felt super rushed writing it. it was for the one direction rarepair fest, which was super fun, but i had Just finished a longer fic a few days before this one was due and i initially tried to drop out because i thought i wouldn’t be able to finish it, but i did, but i still feel like it’s rushed and just not as good as it could have been if i’d planned better and given it some more time.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

im gonna do what i did last year and post more than one, because 1. i can’t decide and 2. i quite honestly am pretty proud of a lot of what i wrote this year

from when the letter says a soldier’s coming home —

Tooru’s squealing somewhere behind them, and Hajime’s gruffly trying to get out the door, and he’ll have to call the school and make up something about being sick so he can spend the day catching up with Daichi, but it can wait. It can all wait. Because Koushi’s waited long enough. It’s about time the rest of the world waits for him.

from strawberries on a summer evening —

Suga hums against him, licking strawberry seeds from between Daichi’s teeth, like he’s just as intoxicated by Daichi as Daichi is with him. Daichi could live here, in this feeling, ignoring everything except how Suga sounds (like bliss personified), smells (like sunblock and sweat), tastes (like sugar and salt). He’s the hottest part of the summer, high noon in mid-August, just this side of too much to handle, but addicting in how it leaves you at its mercy.

from on our way to twenty-seven —

“Sorry, what was your name again?”

Tetsurou opens his mouth to say his American name, but he catches Daichi and Suga looking at him, and he swallows it down. “My name is Tetsurou. Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“I thought you wanted people to call you Tyler,” Timothy says.

Tetsurou shoots him a glare and says it again, feeling his confidence start to grow. “My name is Tetsurou Kuroo. Tetsu is fine, too, but I don’t go by Tyler anymore.”

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

any time tasteofsummersnow left me a comment, it made my heart go doki doki!! her comments are so in depth and so very sweet and it’s so much fun to see her real-time reactions to my writing. i go back and reread them like once a week they’re so nice ;_;

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

the spring/early summer in general was tough, like from march to june. i didn’t post anything between february and may, and i feel like i was struggling a lot creatively around like may/june of this year. i think it’s because a lot of stuff in the 1d fandom was really turning me off at the time and that’s when the burnout fully hit.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

definitely sugawara in the city is at war. i was writing that first chapter and initially i just wanted to see him step up when daichi wasn’t around but he very quickly turned sadistic and ruthless and scarily sharp, which is just so much fun to write him as. and his relationship with daichi is just—ugh. love that violence-fueled romance. they would kill a hundred men for each other and be turned on once they were finished.

honestly, all of the city is at war has surprised me. the idea came to me in a dream on a long bus ride, of all the clan leaders having a meeting and being attacked, and i woke up and banged it out in 36 hours. i meant it to be a oneshot but as i wrote it, i realized i loved the au so much there was no way i could leave it at that. so now it’s got a whole plot and all that. fun!

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

last year i said i felt i grew writing angst and exploring different emotional themes, and i think i built on that even more this year. i did a bunch of shorter pieces this year and i feel a lot of them really explored emotions and characters more than plot, and that’s been so much fun. and then as well, like i said before, i’ve branched out into the crime-action genre with the yakuza au. and! iwaoi horror week was my first real attempt at spooky/creepy/horror-type writing, and, it was a fun challenge for sure.

i also said i wanted to just keep writing and be spontaneous and i definitely did that this year. i posted so many fics not caring how long it had been since the last one—sometimes it was less a day. numbers stopped mattering to me. i posted just because i wanted to put my writing out there and share it with the world, knowing there had to be someone out there who’d like it.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

i feel like 2019 was a year of trying a lot of new things, so in 2020 i’m hoping to explore some different ships and tropes. the sheer number of characters and ships in haikyuu means there’s a ship for just about every trope and au out there, and i want to play around with some dynamics i’ve never written before.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

as always, a shoutout to the loggies, who have been a fantastic source of inspiration and support all year even after i retired from 1d fic. and i would also like to thank the people i met via various hq discord servers—you know who you are!! thank you for the sprints, the encouragement, the inspiration, and the friendship. as someone brand new to the fandom, the support and sense of community has been nothing short of amazing, and you guys are part of the reason i felt so comfortable in this fandom so quickly.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

actually, yeah. even mountains crumble into the sea was written the night before i broke up with my ex. i wrote it as an exercise to get all my feelings out, lay them all on the table where i could see them and pick through them, and then imagine the best possible way the scenario could go.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

honestly—just write! write what you’re happy with. write even if you don’t post it. write, because everything you do is practice that’ll help you improve.

and don’t be afraid to write out of order or write more than one project at a time. i know that won’t work for everyone, but for me, if i didn’t immediately write what was on my mind, i probably wouldn’t have posted half of what i did this year.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

hey remember last year when i said i was gonna finish the breath of the wild au?? L M A O i’m really gonna finish it next year i swear!!

i have a fic posting in the spring for the nsfw big bang which i’m ALSO very excited about! i’m lucky to be working with such a talented artist and the end result is gonna be amazing and i’m so so excited.

i also want to keep going with the city is at war, because that plot was a pleasant surprise. and there’s an ever-growing list of fic ideas and aus that i’m so excited to write—some of them were originally for larry aus but i’ve repurposed them for haikyuu pairings and that’s helped breathe new life into some old ideas.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just tag me, i wanna read your answers!

[kewltie]

i have been working on social media au on and off for a couple months now but uh regretfully it’s not very productive work??? just mainly editing and formatting some of the contents and adding and removing others bc i couldn’t decide or change my mind on some things so i didn’t make any real progress toward the end goal :S. it’s in a standstill and i dont know how to move it forward. 

i took a couple of days off to think about it and why im in such a huge slump over it. i soon realized it’s me and not the fic. there a bunch of annoyingly complex things i have to juggle within the fic but im pretty sure i can grind my way through it and frustration is a great fuel for me lol. my main issue is myself bc of crippling self doubt and anxiety and how i can’t imagine finishing up this ch for some reason. it’s like i have some sort of mental block bc everytime seeing it done i get really anxious and scared and i immediately find reason to not work on it at this second.

like, im sooo incredibly grateful and humble by how the first chapter is received by the fandom!!! you guys have been so kind and encouraging to me and im so very thankful to each one of you but with such kindness i feel so much guilt and anxiety bc it’s almost half a year since it first posted and so many ppl tell me one of the biggest selling points of social media au is its unorthodox storytelling, formatting, and portrayal of fandom and i just dont know how i can top what i did for ch 1. like, how can i supposed live up to all your expectations??? i feel like i set myself up for failure and with such a long waiting period in b/t idk if im able to deliver ch 2 the way everyone kind of expect to be blown away by it also?????? i keeping thinking and worrying if ch2 will be good enough and honestly it was stressing me out and i didn’t want to work on it bc i was afraid it wasn’t going to be live up to the hype :(((. 

i tend to overthink and worry myself until im a mess of anxiety and stress esp combine that with my doormat personality, i just dont know how to stop the urge to please everyone bc my eternal fear of disappointing people. esp knowing how well received  ‘demolition boy’ was. it blew up unexpectedly and i never really intend it to get as big it did /o\. i lit wrote it in like 2-3 days w/o much of a thought and now it’s my most popular fic and it often get drawn in comparision to social media au and how l social media au is like a more well polished and deeper fic and that’s great but also OH GOD. i can’t do better than that!!!!!! ah, it sucks and i couldn’t just break that that kind of metal block so i avoided writing social media as much as possible. im terribly sorry for that!!!!!! i do want to work on it and see it to completion more than anything but i just got really scared by it and how ch2 might just be a huge fucking fail. so i just sat on it for a while and let my anxiety eat away at me. 

it took me some time and some soul searching but i slowly worked through my brittle nerves and fear. i had to tell myself that it isn’t my job to make everyone happy but MYSELF. writing is always and will always be FOR ME. everyone else, while im grateful for the audience, is just a bonus. no matter how popular a fic get, no matter how many people like it, at the end of the day if a fic doesn’t make me happy writing it than there’s no point. i love social media, i love how it drives me up the fucking wall and make me want to pull my hair out every single time, and it’s soooooo incredibly frustrating but also rewarding as fuck when i pull back and see what i had completed. to me it’s great story and i want to not just tell it but show it to you guys and i just need to shut up that fucking NAGGING VOICE IN MY HEAD that tell me all the wrong things. so im trying and working through my fears; it’s slow but i’m getting to the point where i can open up my ao3 draft folder and look at it and know ‘yes, i can do this now’. 

right now, off the bat w/ my knowledge of what still need to be done and how much whinging i have to do to get it there, i am like 30% confident i can pull off finishing social media au at the end of this month. the estimate is going to go up and down in the next couple of days as i work on it and hopefully one day it would say 100%. 

my goal is to have it done either by end of march or beginning of april but hopefully end of march. i think it’s doable but then again i think everything doable up to the point where i actually have to sit down and punch it out /o\.  beside my two bkdk fic fests projects, this is the only project i will be working on in the next couple of days (or weeks) so please be bare with me a lil more as i try to complete ch 2. 

the next two-three-four(???) weeks is going to be v v v v tough for me bc i will scream, cry, and rage about quitting and never writing it again but im like 99% sure i won’t mean any of it lol /o\. if seeing me like pulling an allnighter to finish up ch1 was bad then the end of march is going to be a trial with every step. we’re doing this and it’s going to be end in tears BUT THE GOOD KIND (i think)!!!!!! tmr, i’m off so let’s GET TO IT!!!!!!

p.s. thank you for always putting up with me!!!!!! i know im incredibly flighty, emotionally compromised, and difficult as a writer to follow but your support and encouragement had helped put down some of my insecurities to rest and im forever grateful for that.

[daisymondays]

if you were to rec someone five of your fics that sum you up what would they be?

Hii, i think I literally got this ask about two months ago at this point and I’m extremely sorry I never actually answered you …. but im here now !!!

The reason this took me so long to answer was because it really made me think about what kind of writer I am, how i’d advertise the kind of things I write, like what about the fics summed me up, but i’m going to try now.

1. Karma’s A Fake Orgasm

There’s another abandoned mug, festering with mould in the living room — Steve offically has the world’s worst roommates. And complains about them. Often. Bucky, tired of his lack of action, decides it’s time to avenge Steve’s sleepless nights and unsanitary conditions once and for all. They’ll pretend to be the world’s most annoying couple: excessive PDA, loud fake sex, and general repugnance. The plan sounds easy enough; it will be strictly platonic. Or will it?

Why: I think this fic sums me up in a fair few ways, but mainly the tone. It’s a fun fic at heart and I just really love making people laugh, i think all the MCU characters have such brilliant comedic potential that for someone like me is just my dream, i truly love getting to write just the very human moments of this fic where they’re joking around as friends. It’s tropey and there’s pining, and really its a self indulgent fic that I really enjoyed writing so yeah I think it sums me up quite well. Also it was meant to be 5k and is ofc now 55k which is the epitome of me and anything I do writing wise

2. Highly (in)Compatible 

Draco’s been shagging The Prat Who Lived on and off for a few months when his soul mark starts to change. Draco’s had to accept a lot of adjustments to his life, but accepting that Harry Potter could be his soulmate is one step too far. It can’t be true? Can it?

Why: at heart this sums me up because I completely made everything more difficult than it needed to be, but no, I guess it’s pretty me as while I will joke about hand waving things way in writing, I do like there to be an explanation, it bugs me when there isn’t, and so I used this fic as a chance to get to the core of how soul mates could exist and why, and how it would work, and the point of soul marks etc etc. I spent half of my childhood always having an irritating why hanging on my tongue so is my but why fic. Also it looks at mental health (ding ding ding) and has a Draco POV voice that is so close to my own speaking voice that I had friends tell me it sounded like me speaking at times so take from that what you will

3. If We Were Honest

Two years ago, Draco and Harry had a whirlwind secret romance that ended in heart-break. Since then Draco’s written a best-selling novel based on their relationship, but with one key difference—the characters get a happily ever after. Now Harry and Draco are reunited for the first time since their break-up, but can they rewrite their own ending?

Why: this fic is my inner angsty mess that I don’t show that often and here it is. I always want to write really feelsy almost poetic stuff but have a tendency to lean more to realistic and humorous character voices, that are more over dramatic in their feelings, but this was me being able to explore that side of the table and trying harder with the language and imagery. Also, a lot of queer pride in here and as i approached my first pride month as a baby bisexual that was important to me, getting happy endings and the difficulty in embracing sexuality sometimes and learning to be comfortable in who you are. Also that sometimes people fuck up (speaking from experience there LOL)

4. A Place of Learning

When Pansy returns to Hogwarts all she wants to do is keep her head down and pass her N.E.W.Ts. However, between drinking games and a new roommate, Pansy is reminded that nothing at Hogwarts is ever simple.

Why: so something that is very important to me in fandom is the fair treatment of female characters especially due to a lot of internalised misogny they’ve been shat on a lot in the past. Also there is such a disportinate amount of w/w to m/m work, and like i’ve written predominantly m/m too but i do like to try and write w/w fics too!! ((I have plans for possible Peggy/Natasha for MCU)) So this fic was me bringing fun tropes aka 8th year, drinking games and roommates to Ginny/Pansy in a hope to encourage people to read it!! its my usual and its got strong banterous friendships, a bit of pining and feels, and i think it sums me up in my just general determination to make sure femslash isn’t totally overlooked

5. Strings Attached

Draco Malfoy’s never been interested in dating, and he’ll be damned if that changes because of Harry Potter in joggers.

Why: this sums me up not so much for the content but again usual, banter and some feels, but for the reasons I wrote it. I wrote it after a conversation with some mates about being a bit tired of a few dynamics we were seeing in HD and I was bored of Drarry at this point and no intention of writing it for the joggers fest then ofc, bam sat down and cracked 15k in three days – and i really like how this fic turned out too – so i think this sums me up in the things i will do to prove a point and just how bloody fast i write sometimes, its ridiculous honestly. But yeah, i think again its a strong me vibe just in it

So here you go Nonnie, 5 fics of mine and some rambling about how i think they best represent me. Really I’m here for banter and feels, and hopefully no damp squibs. Thanks for the ask