#IM SORRY BUT HER TEASING HIM ABOUT IT FOR TWO PAGES WAS SO FREAKI MY FUNNY

[just3-p3achy]

Jane: so yea I met this this guy

Edward: was he handsome?

Jane: yea

Edward “do you find me handsome?” “No” Rochester looking away angrily: FUCK

[disinfandous]

Light Reading

Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler

1,939 words - fluff, trashy romance novels, the eighth doctor ;), “disturbing the peace”, crack?

[[I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL POST BC IM A HUUUUUGE KLUTZ SO I’M REPOSTING IT I’M SO SORRY]]

Rose Tyler (much to her surprise, delight, and horror) finds a rather… interesting… romance novel starring none other than the Doctor himself! Try as she might to read it in peace, the Doctor just has to know what’s going on. Why is she laughing so hard?

AO3 

Ever since she began travelling with the Doctor, Rose generally avoided romance novels.

The reason why was simple, really. Every time Rose read a romance novel she just kept thinking of him, of that maddening alien she now lived with. Her mind would wander, unbidden, to dangerous territory, lingering on the eternity in his eyes, the perfect fit of his hand in hers, the warmth spreading in her chest at the sight of his smile…

She couldn’t read a single limerent word from even the trashiest of bodice-rippers without her mind wandering. Romances were, for lack of a better word, hazardous. They did a impressive number on her sanity and she swore to stay away from them for the sake of her health.

Generally, she kept that promise well. She avoided suspicious sections of not only the TARDIS library, but of other libraries or bookstores they happened to visit on their adventures as well. She did her part and stayed away, but Rose didn’t take into account the books not staying away from her, and she certainly didn’t take into account the books actually being about the Doctor.

Suddenly, it wasn’t so much an issue of her mind wandering but rather of whether or not her imagination would be up to par.

Looking back at it, she would certainly claim that it wasn’t her fault. Not really. What were the odds of her finding something like that in this particular library in this particular town on this particular planet? Or anywhere in the universe at all, rather? Slim, she bet. Probably as slim as he was in that suit of his, that’s how unlikely.

Yet there it was. Just sitting there, wedged in between two other seemingly innocuous volumes. It was misshelved, clearly, by the way it was surrounded by cookbooks. She just wanted a glimpse at freaky alien food, not freaky alien Doctor fantasies.

Still, Rose quickly grabbed the book and ducked around the shelves to take a peek anyway. Ever the paradigm of restraint, she decided regret was for the future. She would burn that bridge when she got to it.

A customary glance at the cover nearly left her a giggling mess. It was so cheesy, almost exactly like those cheap paperbacks sitting around in convenience stores. The man emblazoned on the cover passionately embracing a swooning purple-skinned damsel was clearly meant to be the Doctor, even though he looked considerably different. He was painted with a velvet coat and luscious brown curls, dressed perfectly for a position in some sort of Jane Austen novel or something. In the background, partially concealed by gratuitous amounts of blossoming flowers, stood the TARDIS in all of its blue boxy glory.

The title was printed in curvilinear alien script and appropriately translated to the closest English equivalent of its meaning. It read, much to Rose’s amusement: Doctor Sexy. It sounded like some sort of quirky medical drama.

The tagline was just as bad: Fate, passion, desire… He can save the planet, but can he love?

What a loaded question.

Rose remembered the Doctor telling her as soon as they arrived that he recalled visiting this planet multiple times in the past and saving them from a new threat every time. He mentioned, offhandedly, how he figured that the locals must technically consider him some sort of hero or legend by now based upon how well he had been received before. There was no way he could have expected this.

Oh, they thought him a hero alright. Definitely.

She hadn’t even opened the thing yet and it was already too much for her. Her hands were shaking with barely concealed laughter as she flipped between random pages in the book, not really looking to actively immerse herself in it yet desperate for a juicy paragraph or two.

And God. She was not disappointed:

“Oh, Doctor,” sighed Anahi, melting into his embrace, “You came for me!”

“I could never leave you, my poignant weeping blossom,” he professed. “You have captured not only both of my wandering hearts, but my body and my soul as well. My love, I am yours.”

The Doctor placed kisses along the fleshy ridges of her neck, making Anahi squirm like a nurseling in pleasure. His strong, velvet-clad arms held her flush against him yet she still craved more. Anahi tugged at the curls concealing the undoubtedly gorgeous expanse of his bare scalp and groaned in need, the vibrations reverberating onto his lips from their position upon her throat.

“I thought you would never return,” she gasped. “I thought… After the uprising… No, after Drewan…”

“Drewan matters not. He is unworthy of you,” he growled. “He shall never have you. No one shall ever take you from me.”

“Oh, Doctor!”

“My love!”

Rose couldn’t hold it in anymore. She burst out laughing right then and there, burying her face in the pages of the book, guffaws violently jarring the serenity of the library. Blimey, this was too much. She wasn’t built for this kind of relentless assault.

She had to keep reading.

“Rose?” called a familiar voice.

Or not.

Rose quickly shut the book, shoving it behind her as she twisted around. She backed up against the shelf behind her and plastered on an innocent smile. She hoped, no, prayed, that her cheeks weren’t as flushed as she felt them to be.

The Doctor’s inquiring expression greeted her. “You were pretty loud,” he began, stepping toward her. “What’s so funny?”

“Uhh… Well,” she struggled for an explanation, “S’nothing, really. Jus’… Just this really silly—” she glanced around her, recalling precisely what section of the library she was in—“cookbook I found.”

His face contorted into further confusion.

“Yeah. Uh, more of a joke, really. 1000 recipes not to feed your… your nurseling.” Rose cringed. “Funnier than it sounds.”

“Can I see?” he asked, his confusion melting into that of skeptical acceptance and mild interest. He moved to peer behind her, but she deftly turned and pressed herself even further against the bookshelf so as to block his view. She could feel the wood digging into her arms.

“Nope. It’s not anything you’d like to see. Really. Trust me,” she said, biting her lip to suppress a chuckle at the memory of what she just read.

“Rose, if it made you laugh so unabashedly in a place like this, it’s definitely something I’d like to see.”

“No. Honest. I swear—”

It was at that moment a book fell from its perch behind her. Rose jumped in surprise and quickly bent to retrieve it, startled by the loud thump it created upon meeting the floor. It was one of the books opened for display and she must have dislodged it as she backed up.

The Doctor wasn’t one to waste an opportunity, however, and he snatched the novel from her unassuming hands the moment she shifted from her position of defense. She let out a yelp of protest and dashed to pry it away from him before he could properly witness the cover.

Too late.

She watched in mounting horror as his eyes drifted over the illustration and read the title.

“D… Doctor… Sexy…? ” he whispered, eyes wide. Rose groaned. Here we go. “This is what you were reading?”

She nodded.

“B-but—this doesn’t make sense—why would something like this… Why… What?”

Rose coughed, “Apparently, Doctor, some people think you’re um, well—” she gestured in the book’s general direction—“sexy.”

“That’s…”

“You’ve got a history here, yeah? Hero and whatnot. That’s pretty hot.”

He furrowed his brows and leafed through the pages of the novel, his face reddening as he advanced through it. His increasing embarrassment lessened the strength of her own embarrassment and by the time he looked up Rose felt the beginning of a smile gracing her lips. God, this was so surreal.

“This isn’t even anything like me!” The Doctor cried, incredulous. “I would never—I certainly wouldn’t—I would never do any of this stuff!”

She snickered, “Oh, I don’t know. Seems pretty in character to me.”

“Rose,” he whined. She grinned at him shamelessly. “You know this isn’t accurate. It’s ridiculous! Fantasy fodder. Entirely fictitious!”

“Fiction stems from reality, Doctor.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Not in this case it doesn’t.”

Rose tilted her head inquiringly, “So you honestly think you’d never say a single word of this? All those passionate declarations of love and devotion and stuff?”

“They’re the single most cliché, contrived declarations I have ever had the misfortune of discovering—”

“Oi, that’s a bit harsh, innit?”

“Harsh?”

“They’re not all that bad.”

“Rose, you can’t be defending this? That’s supposed to be me on those pages. This is slander; I am personally victimized.”

“I’m not on about that, Doctor. I agree with you there. Can’t take that book seriously, honestly,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m jus’ saying that those words are the kinda thing people love to hear. Passionate and adoring. Yeah, it’s kinda cheesy, but that’s what stuff like this is for. It’s all self-indulgent. Love for the hopeless romantic.”

He regarded her wearily, but the indignance in his gaze seemed to wane.

“When was the last time you visited? Must’ve been a long while ago judging by your appearance. You said it yourself: you’re like a legend to them. Something distant yet wonderful. Something they can pile their desires onto without much trouble. It makes them happy.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

“S’common sense,” Rose shrugged, tongue peeking out through her teasing smile.

“Don’t think so,” he said, “because then I’d be an expert on this.” The Doctor glanced back down at the book in his hands and eyed it with distaste. “Something I most certainly am not.”

Rose sighed, “Oh, tell me about it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

It was then that a librarian glided up to them, a stern expression on her face. Turns out they have been rather disruptive for the past few minutes, dropping books and speaking absurdly loudly, and she figured it was time to insist upon their dismissal for the sake of her peace-loving patrons. They could come back, she told them, once they decided to abide by library policy.

In other words, they were kicked out.

The walk to the TARDIS had them improperly amused in the end, the Doctor’s previous dissatisfaction forgotten in the wake of other more important matters like going home. Lamenting on the fact that they never seemed to be able to go anywhere without being given the boot, they walked hand-in-hand, smiling like the trouble-makers they were.

“Tell me what you will, but I honestly don’t think you could ever catch me saying anything out of that book,” the Doctor told her upon reaching the TARDIS doors. He no longer bore his earlier offended tone, but he clearly must have felt the need to clarify.

“Really?” Rose asked. “Never call anyone your poignant weeping blossom?”

The Doctor made a face. “Never.”

She just laughed, following him up the ramp inside. Rose didn’t doubt him; he probably really would never say anything so honestly and aggressively romantic. It was an aspect exclusively reserved for the man he never could be, trapped in between the pages of that silly book, only found stemming from the minds of people who honestly weren’t all that different from Rose herself.

She might not have been so tawdry in her own musings, but she couldn’t deny how some things appealed to her immensely. She recalled a sentence from the book that stood out to her almost painfully.

My love, I am yours.

Yeah. It would be nice to hear, wouldn’t it?

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Control

Y/N P.O.V I've been dating Happy Lowman aka the Tacoma killer for awhile now.. It's been great.. Even with his back ground, the smilely face tattoos. His job with the club, the jail time.. The long runs and the Croweaters.. I stuck around.. There is one thing tho.  We haven't had sex sex just teasing and well it was getting frustrating cause I know he wants it. But I’m a little scared.. People talk And when I mean people. I mean  CROWEATERS.. They say he's rough and has to be in control..That’s alright but I'm a little nervous about the control thing.. In my life I have to be in control. So I’m going to make it my personal duty that Happy will not be in control of my life.              Happy’s P.O.V Y/N is a great girlfriend but somethings got to give man.. I have the biggest blue balls ever.. She also has this control issues and people telling her how to live her life... Oh man, Just tell her to give up the pussy, we all have  issues with people telling us what to do.. That’s why we are outlaws said Tig I can't force her and I want her to be comfortable with her own body before we have sex. Yeah your right man.. I don't know what to do tho.. That’s good man. She's a great girl and she's adjusting well with this life so shes definitely going to be a great old lady.. NO old lady wants to be told what to do thats for croweaters.. Look at Gemma you can't tell her to do anything she doesn't want to do said Bobby Your becoming a pussy yourself brother.. Look at you man wanting her to be comfortable with her body... Before you just get any crow you want and have your way with her  That’s the way it should be said Tig Well she’s changed me man. I don’t want anyone else. Just her and i cant stop thinking about her and i don't want to tell her what to do.. I didn't think about their feelings.. All I wanted was them to shut up and do what I wanted but not anymore. Plus she's not a crow and I would never treat her that way.. Your a good guy Hap. You got a girl you love.. So don't listen to Tig he's just jealous of your relationship. Your mom raised a good guy.. I got a good old lady and all them crows and Gemma were jealous of us.. Yeah you can't get Gemma to do anything unless it come from her mouth said Jax Yea maybe your right. But how do I get her to commit to me and know that I’m not just after sex when we finally do it. Get her to see that I’m not going to control her life but protect her.. Do something nice.. Like do a nice dinner or fix her car something on the lines of that.. You just need to have a open conversation with her.. Jeez i don't know. Stop looking at me like that said Kozik embarrassed I think you do and we all know why.. Because your a pussy and we all know it.. Happy stop being whipped and just tell her to do as she was told to do said Tig laughing No your not Kozik..But I think your on the right page brother.. I'll see when she has free time then I'll do something.. Tig I'm not ordering her around that’s not how you treat Y/N cause when she doesn't want to do something she gets mean  Yeah we all been there with Gemma.. Jax, Bobby, Tig and Kozik said at the same time

          Hap and Y/N together Hey baby, Wha’ts going on here? Why is the kitchen a mess? Y/n said Sorry doll face, I was trying to cook you dinner but I see that I screwed up and we need to order take out.. Happy said sadly You did this for me. Aww Hap you should've.. That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.. No we can eat what you have cooked... It looks great.. Its inedible. Look at it, its all burnt and dry and just plan disgusting.. I'll order Chinese... I'll do anything for you girl.. Killa its great.. I love that you tried and your just amazing.. I cant wait to spend my life with you.. Umm.. ok.. So I'll order and you go take a shower.. When you get done the kitchen should be clean.. Hap I can help.. You can join me if you'd like Y/N said giving a devilish grin.. No I took a shower already and I got to clean, order food .. So you go ahead.. Take your time soak and relax.. I'll call you when dinner is here.. Ok if your sure I wont take long.. Y/N said a little sad that Happy didn't take her up on her offer..                  Haps P.O.V Hi can I get two larger containers of chicken lo mein? With two veggie eggrolls.. How long? 30 mins alright. Names Lowman Street 1111 Horizon Street        Call ended How could I have told her no. That was my chance.. What the hell Lowman.. You seriously don't want her do you? I'm so stupid.. (Happy mocking him self) No I took one already.. Yeah Im never getting her..     Y/N P.O.V Is he not interested in me or something like seriously.. I practically throw myself at him and nothing.. He must not be in to like that anymore.. Mmm Maybe I can change his mind... Ok so I’m going to take a hot shower and dress a little sexy for dinner.. That should get the ball rolling .. (stepping out of the hot shower) Lets do this girls looking down at your boobs.. As you were getting ready you hear Happy call you for dinner.. So here goes nothing whoo.. You looked at your self one last time before you went down Haps P.O.V Everything on the table.. wait the forks... As you were getting the forks you looked up and saw Y/N coming down from the stairs.. She looked stunning and literally took your breath away.. She was wearing that sexy black strapless dress she had bought the last time you went on a run but never got to wear it.. With her hair up and dark purple lipstick with black high heels... Wow you could feel yourself getting hard... But I can't Let her know just yet..              Y/N P.O.V  There he was standing there with his month open and the tent forming in his pant as you can see.. Your little plan was working.. Yayay....It was going to be a great night if he makes a move.. Happy and Y/N together     Wow you look stunning... Here sit here and I'll get the wine Hap said nervously Thanks Happy.. Do you want me to fix your plate for you.... Yeah that’s fine he said coming back with the wine... We sat down to eat dinner and it was a little awkward. We just stared at each other but as we were finishing up Happy said something that you thought you'd never hear from him.. We are going to finally do it.. I was not even close more surprising, shocking, you name it. ‘I think I’m falling in love with you Y/N.. I mean I am in love with you.. You just looked at him with your hand over your mouth I love you too Happy more than you would ever know.. He got up and walked over to me and got down, took my hands and asked Would you take my Crow on this beautiful body and becoming my Old Lady All you could do was cry and shake your head yes but Happy needed a real answer.. Come on girl you have to talk to me.. Shaking your head is not a answer is it little girl YES Happy I would love to have your Crow.. I'm going to be and amazing Old Lady to you Hap. I grabbed his face and kissed him hard.. This is it you thought finally.. Come on baby lets find a place for my Crow and Let me show my Old Lady some love from her Old Man He picked me up taking us to our room.. I new my plan would work but not this great.. You sure you want to do this.. You know be with me .. Happy said sitting me down on the bed.. More than anything... Now get over here and claim whats yours.. I said as my dress hit the floor.. Your  going to be a great old man.. Oh Yes I Will.... Thats right baby I'm Yours and only yours Happy said closing the door with a big smile on his face.. The next day at the clubhouse So you get any yet Tig asked.. Happy just smiled looking at you sitting at the bar with Chibs talking.. Oh you did, did you.. Give me some juicy details..tig said looking between you two smiling at each other... As Happy was about to tell Tig off... They heard Chibs ask the question that made both you and Happy smile.. Well whats this here lass Chibs asked looking at Happys crow on your shoulder... I can't believe you marked her brother. Are you crazy? Don't even answer that question.. Why is everyone getting hitched.. First Opie and Jax now you.. NO come on Tig yelling at everyone... Your just mad cause no one wants your sick freaky self Kozik blurted out.. Yeah well your not with anyone either blondie tig said getting up from his chair... Happy just laughed and nodded for me to come over to him.. I walked over to Happy as Tig lunged at Kozik.. Their both idiots you thought We all laughed as Tig was trying to kill Kozik.. What's wrong babe Happy said looking worried Are you satisfied with me Happy I asked as I sat down on his lap? Happy just smiled and nodded. More than you will ever know  Mrs. Lowman .. You let out a sigh of relief.. I love the way that sounds Mr. Lowman.. I know this life is going to get better and better... I'm in control of this life now with Happy... Its not all about sex but that part is great.. The Croweaters were right control is good... in the bedroom..

Thanks for reading.. Hope you enjoyed as much as I did writing it.. This is the first time I wrote in point of view.. So I hoped it turned out good