#IM SO SHOCKED I DID THIS IN ONE DAY???!?;!;!?
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forwhump · 3 days ago
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a/n; for my anon that was having a bad week <3 IM SORRY FOR THE DELAY I couldn’t find the thing I wanted to post for you but I couldn’t just keep posting nothing so here’s something instead <3 I hope I didn’t make it way worse 😚 (if I did pls lmk I’ll redeem myself 🫡)
disclaimer: if you haven’t already noticed yes this is just a big outlet for me for every whump thing I want in the world <3 thanks for coming along for this ride w me 😚 LOL
tw/cw: medical torture, medical abuse, surgical torture, living weapon whumpee, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, severe brain injuries, amnesia, threats of violence, graphic depictions of violence, gun violence, science fiction
“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Silas says, cracking his knuckles. “I like you, man.”
Medic’s face doesn’t change but he swallows so loudly Silas can hear him over the pounding of the alarm. Sitting behind his desk, he stares up at him, his pale face glowing red every few seconds in the flash of the emergency lights. The flickering red light of his shock collar glows out of time, keeping him cast in red. It makes him look really sick. Kinda frail. Silas had never noticed quite how small Medic is. They’re all so fuckin’ small. Why is Silas the pet?
It makes him think of Wren, as most things do. He’s always thinking about Wren in some capacity; everything always comes back around to Wren somehow, even without his meaning to. They’re all so small but Wren is the smallest, so small it’s hard for Silas not to find it kind of bizarre, so human it gave him this glowing, angelic sort of quality. Silas had been engineered for violence, for easy slaughter, but he hadn’t been engineered to be a guard dog — that was something Wren brought out in him, something organic. Maybe the only bit of free will Silas had ever managed, and there’s Wren again, at the centre, glowing and holy and so fuckin’ small.
All anybody wants to do is hurt him. It makes Silas violent, just as much as it’s never made a lick of fuckin’ sense to him. All anybody around Wren ever wants to do is hurt him. Silas lives and breathes violence — Wren does, too. It follows him. This silvery, holy thing.
Everything about Wren is good, is silvery, is holy. He’s angelic in the way he shimmers, but in everything else about him, too, every organic cell and strand of DNA. Wren is so good. Wren is pure goodness. His view of the world is narrowed to a single point, but it’s hard for Silas to imagine many corners of the world are much worse than this. Are people not most themselves at their worst? Wasn’t it Wren that told him that?
Silas isn’t a good person. He knows that. He isn’t at peace with it, he’s been fighting it tooth and talon, but he knows what he is, and he’s a bad dog at the very kindest. Freak fuckin’ science experiment at worst. He’s violent. Mean. Quick to anger and just as quick to slaughter. He’s impatient. Wren had to teach him manners, and he’s had to teach him more than once. Still, Wren taught him. Wren teaches him still. Wren, who’s been hurt in ways even Silas kinda struggles to fathom, who would have every reason in the world to be just as violent, as mean, as impatient as Silas, but who isn’t. Who sat on the floor with him for days at a time and patiently taught Silas to write his own name. Who spends days sitting at Silas’ bedside, reading to him quietly, when Silas is too incapacitated to move. How can anybody want to hurt a person like that? How can everybody?
To Silas, they’re all so small. Disposable. But they’re so much bigger than Wren. Point was always so much bigger than Wren. Point always liked to hurt him the most.
Silas cracks his neck. “I just want to know where they are.”
There had been a lockdown. Silas had been the cause of every district lockdown so far — he’s never been on the outside of one before. It had happened during a field test, and it was the first time he’s ever seen the manufactured sun of the arena turn red. He should’ve known it was an omen. From there, he was thrown into isolation, but it was like no other time Silas had been in isolation. Nobody showed up to skin him, or cane him, or beat him, or gut him. Nobody showed up to taunt him. They didn’t even restrain him, not really, they just left him alone in the dark. He was left in proper isolation for the very first time.
When he was finally allowed back to the unit, Wren was gone. His room was cleared out. His books had been taken from Silas’ room like he had never been there at all. They keep trying to tell him he had never been there at all.
But Point had never come back, either, and Silas isn’t a smart man, but he’s smarter than these people keep giving him credit for. He was smart enough to figure that one out. When it comes to Wren, there isn’t anything he can’t do. Wren makes him smart, and he makes him invincible. If Wren’s out there somewhere, Silas is going to find him, it doesn’t matter what he has to do. If Point had taken him, if Point is putting his hands on him, if Wren is out there somewhere and he’s hurt, and he’s scared, he’s probably thinking about Silas, and there isn’t anything in the fuckin’ world Silas won’t do to save him. He’ll massacre everybody in this place and outside of it if he has to.
He doesn’t want to kill Medic. He’s always been good to him. But he will if he has to. He’ll kill any one of them if he has to.
“I don’t know,” Medic tells him, and he’s doing a good job of keeping his face straight but his eyes are huge, shining in the flashing red light. “You know they don’t tell me anything. Come on, big guy.”
“Medic,” Silas warns, almost sing song.
Abruptly, he pushes his chair back, and it collides with the concrete wall with a sound that makes Silas’ back teeth hurt. “I don’t know, buddy,” he says. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”
There’s already blood on Silas’ hands — on his teeth. He’d had to kill a lot of Medic’s team to get here. He didn’t even know Medic had an office; he’s never been in this part of the medical bay before. It will never forget him. He’ll be a stain on the walls, and the floors, and the ceilings of this place for a very long time.
He picks a chunk of flesh out from under his fingernail and says, “Medic.”
“Silas,” he tries. “Come on, big guy. I’d tell you if I knew. I think — I think he’s probably in a lot of danger and I want you to find him, buddy. You need to find him. But I don’t know where he is.”
Silas tilts his head. Watches him, for a moment, through flickering red light. “Are you lying to me?”
“No,” Medic croaks. “I’ll come with you. I can help you, big guy. You don’t — you don’t know what you’re in for up there up, Silas, but I do, and I — I can help you. I can help you find him. I can help him when we get there. He’ll need a doctor and I — don’t hurt me, buddy. Come on. I’ve tried to be good to you both. I can — I can help.”
Silas watches him again, silent. It feels like bait and he doesn’t like it, but he used to trust Medic. Wren always trusted him, before he disappeared out from under his nose, and Wren’s trust goes a long way as far as Silas is concerned.
And he’s right, to a degree. Silas would make quick work of butchering every breathing thing above ground to find his way to Wren, but it would still take time he could spare if he knew how to find him.
Slowly, he lifts his chin.
Medic’s face finally changes. Not for the better. “Silas —” is all the time he has before pain explodes through the back of Silas’ head.
It comes out of nowhere and it almost knocks him off his feet. It’s hot, it’s blisteringly hot and his sweatshirt starts to stick to his back, wet.
The red light continues to flicker but it dims, it gets sort of smoky, and through the smoke Medic is saying something but Silas can’t hear him at all.
Fuck, he thinks, and lifts a hand to the back of his head. Accidentally almost sticks his finger in a gunshot wound.
Instinctively, he turns.
He’s executed in Medic’s office by means of firing squad.
Staring blankly up at the ceiling, Silas listens to the crackle of electricity as it courses and the hollow chirping of the machines keeping him alive. “I don’t wanna die,” he says. He’s not ready yet.
Medic sniffles. He’s been crying for hours and Silas has never felt the way he feels now, not once in his short life. “I’m so sorry, big guy,” he admits, rubbing his face. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do now.”
Silas has died a lot, and he’s died miserably, but never permanently. Never for real. He’s always been revived, reanimated. He’s never had to fear death because it never really meant anything to him. He’s out of his element now. He doesn’t know this part.
For as long as he can remember, Silas hasn’t been human. Now he’s only meat and machine. The only part of him that’s still him, the only part of him that’s still working on his own is his brain, and that’s only until they finally decided to take him off life support and remove it.
He’d been eviscerated. The flayed skin of his chest and his stomach are pulled tightly over the table, clamped in place. Most of the meat and the muscle had been removed, his ribcage pried apart. Every organ, a lot of his major veins and arteries, they’re threaded with wires and cords, sparking with electricity and the current that courses from the chrome and flickering lights at his bedside, keeping him alive until they decide to shut it all down.
Silas is going to be put down.
It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel like anything. It’s the most painless way he’s ever died but it’s bitter at the back of his throat. Metallic. Finally, Silas is going to be put down.
Wren is still out there somewhere, and Silas is never gonna know what happened to him. He’s not gonna be able to save him this time. He isn’t all that familiar with death, the permanent kind, and he doesn’t really know what comes after, but he knows for sure that he isn’t gonna end up in the same place Wren does. He wishes he could go where Wren’s going. He’s never gonna get to see him again.
Silas always knew his life was gonna be short. There wasn’t ever really a question. But it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He’s not ready to go.
This can’t be it for him, not really, not permanently. It can’t. Not while Wren is still out there.
He’d been too violent in the aftermath. He hadn’t reacted well. And they can’t control him the same anymore, not without Wren to hold over his head. He was formally declared a liability. He’s no longer worth the risk.
Turning his head slowly, Silas says, “do something for me.”
Medic sniffles again, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “Anything.”
“You gotta get out of here,” Silas tells him. “You gotta find him. You gotta help him.”
He looks at Silas, and he looks at him earnestly. He’s been crying on and off the entire time he’s been at his bedside, and it’s been moderately irritating at the best of times, suffocating at worst. But he’s been at Silas’ bedside the entire time. The whole time he’s been dying, Medic has been there. He’s never left. He’s done his best to keep him comfortable. All things considered, Silas owes him most of his lives. He doesn’t owe Silas anything, he’s done more than his part, but he says still, “I will.”
“Take care of him for me,” Silas says.
“I will,” he repeats, and he sniffles again but his nod is firm. Definitive. “He’ll be okay.”
Silas looks back up at the grey ceiling and tastes bile. Out of habit, he takes a deep breath.
When they had first disemboweled him, when they had strapped him down to the table and peeled all the meat away from his ribcage, pulled his ribcage apart, the inside of his body had been loud, but it had been wet, it was alive. Now, it’s just as loud, maybe louder, but the sounds are wheezy and dry. Mechanical. Only his brain is working on its own — the rest is all simulated. It’s all machines.
It hurt a lot as his body was dying. Mercifully, it doesn’t hurt anymore. He thinks it’s kind of fucked up that his most permanent death is gonna hurt the least.
“Do you think he’ll forget about me?” He asks the ceiling.
“No,” Medic answers, even before he’s finished speaking. “I think he’s going to think about you every day for the rest of his life.”
Silas had spent every day of his life, since meeting Wren, thinking about him. Most of what Silas thinks about, in fact, is Wren. Everything he did, he did for Wren. He didn’t usually make his life any better, any easier, but he tried. Fuck, he tried.
He wasn’t a good dog, that’s the worst part. He tried, tooth and fuckin’ nail he tried, but to what end? Silas’ brain is going to be removed. Wren’s gone, and Silas doesn’t know where. He isn’t safe, he’s being hurt, he knows that, but for the first time, Silas is absolutely helpless to do anything about it. Silas is going to die without ever seeing him again.
“Nobody that’s known you will ever forget you, big guy,” Medic tells him. “I don’t want you to worry about that.”
“I’m not worried about me,” Silas says. The beat of his heart sounds like the beeping of a heart monitor.
He sighs softly, shifting in his chair. He sniffles again. “I’ll make sure he’s okay,” he says. “I promise.”
“This sucks, man,” Silas says helplessly.
He chokes out a wet laugh. He sobs, too. “I’m gonna miss you, buddy,” he says.
Restrained to the surface, he lifts his fist from the table as far as he can. “See you in hell?”
He sobs again. He laughs, too. “I’ll see you there. Tell you what,” he says, knocking his fist against Silas’, “when I get there, you can call me Jed.”
“Why?” Silas asks. “What’s Jed?”
He chokes out another sound, rubbing his mouth as he does it. “My name.”
“I thought your name was Medic,” Silas says, but it makes sense that it wouldn’t be his real name, because that’s also his job. He’d just never considered him having a real name, and he doesn’t wanna think about how much else is out there that’s he never considered, that he doesn’t know, that he’ll never know, but he can’t help it and it would make him vomit if his stomach had anything in it but active circuits and live wires. As it is, it crackles loudly with electricity.
But Medic laughs again, and it lightens the burden a little bit. It sits better than the crying. “That’s a lie,” he says. “It’s actually Jed.”
Silas lifts the corner of his mouth. “You might have to remind me next time.”
“I will,” he agrees. When the door beeps, a keycard being accepted, Medic takes his hand. “I’m gonna miss you, Silas.”
Silas says, “find Wren.”
It’s Carver that comes to loom over the head of the table. Carver specializes in head, face, and brain; Weaver specializes in organs and meat.
“Asset Park,” he says, “we want to thank you for your service.”
“Get fucked,” Silas says. Panic rises in his chest, and it surprises him.
The last thing he ever thinks about is Wren.
Jed doesn’t move from his chair, and the surgeon doesn’t ask him to. He doesn’t know if this one is Carver or Weaver; he doesn’t care. They’re both creepy, surgeons straight from horror movies, mad scientists from some especially miserable circle of hell.
He sits, watches. Doesn’t quite know why; figures Silas deserves that. Doesn’t deserve to be alone for this.
Except it isn’t what Jed thought it was going to be. Silas’ brain isn’t removed. It isn’t destroyed. Once his scalp is peeled down over his face, the top of his skull is sawed off, and once the bone is lifted out of place, the surgeon starts cutting into his brain, injecting into the tissue, with his other hand, something that Jed doesn’t recognize, something that looks like oil in the syringe.
He has to swallow before he can ask, “what are you doing?”
The surgeon doesn’t answer him.
He’s been crying for days, but it stops quickly. Nausea roils in. Silas was scared, and for that, Jed can’t imagine, but Silas’ life had been so miserable. It had been so painful. As resistant as he had been, he was tired. He deserves to rest. “You’re not gonna let him die?”
The surgeon doesn’t lift his head, but he makes a, “heh,” sound, which probably passes as amusement for him.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he says.
“Asset Park is our most advanced weapon,” the surgeon answers, clipped, not lifting his head. “His execution would be a bitter waste.”
“What are you doing to him?” Jed asks, and the words are stale.
“Cutting out the cancer,” he says.
The first time Silas wakes up, he’s pissed. He’s pissed. The creepy surgeon dorks are supposed to be smart. They’re supposed to be the smartest. Even they can’t kill him?
The first time Silas wakes up, he wakes up during surgery, and he is so. Fuckin’. Tired. Of being awake during surgery. It’s hard to explain how much something like that hurts; it’s a pain beyond Silas’ means of description. They have to think he’s dead, they have to, because his arms aren’t restrained, but they should be smarter than that, right? They can’t tell the difference between a dead Silas and a live one?
He grabs the closest by the throat. He doesn’t know who it is — he can’t tell any of them apart in surgery, not really. They look identical, Weaver and Carver and their swarms of surgical teams. They all dress in black, surgical caps and masks and scrubs. They all have the same hungry eyes. Silas grabs one of them by the throat, it doesn’t really matter which one, because a different one quickly slits the inside of his elbow, then his wrist with a scalpel. He drops them, grunts in frustration. Drops his arm back against the table with a thunderously loud noise. Loses a couple seconds as unconsciousness creeps up on him again.
When he comes to a second time, one of the surgeons is looking at him with shining eyes. “Still,” he tells Silas, “somehow, you surprise us.”
When he wakes up, he wakes up in a bland, grey room, beneath bland, grey sheets. The surgeon standing over him is a jarring contrast, dressed all in black. It’s very small. He doesn’t recognize it.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” It asks, leaning in too close to his face.
He thinks. He can’t think of anything.
The surgeon’s eyes crinkle above its black mask. “Excellent,” it says.
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foodtruckery · 14 hours ago
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ive returned because your writing haunts me and i need to dig into your brain about combat baby idk how deeply youve thought about like. the whole extent of this au so if im asking about stuff that you dont want to focus on for it forgive me but im so curious how do things go down with bill?? like hes still an issue here do they just try the unicorn hair and stan scams his way through (and ford is so shocked and lowkey turned on impressed they bang after) or with everything else happening does ford (stupid genius he is) just sort of forget bill can still enter stan's dreams even if hes got the metal plate and stans like "hey why am i dreaming about a dorito obsessed with your portal"
and im guessing ford would not be down to make his home a tourist trap so do you think stan would just help with the research? or would his insecurities about being dead weight to ford push him to try and find his own way of income?
and and what about the town?? do they have to awkwardly pretend theyre father and son or uncle and nephew or something? because sure they could pretend theyre not related but they still look pretty similar. ford just looks like an older, nerdier stan so i think that would be people's first assumption (ford seething quietly as susan flirts with stan. stan just thinks fords feeling uncomfortable in town because hes a hermit until theyre alone and they have a repeat of their highschool days with ford hissing in his ear and demanding to know what he was expecting to happen with susan. stan trying to answer but hes a little distracted at the time)
and also with ford being back would they ever run into fiddleford again? either him in his cult days or maybe already halfway to losing his mind. depending on where he is mentally im sure the interaction could be either pretty hostile or sympathetic
ive grabbed you by the ankles and am attempting to shake you upside down to try and empty your pockets for scraps of this au because it consumes me
-🐶
waaaaaah thanks for being patient with me friend! you know i ALWAYS love to see you with the big fuckin questions and ideas. and i have been THINKING about this one cause, tbh, i finished combat baby in a couple of days and went “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT” and threw it at y’all and did not think much about it after that! until i came over here and started chatting with y’all at least hahaha.
the bill issue is like a whole thing right? and i was definitely wondering how the time travel on one side but not the other might impact him/slow him down. but i also do think it’d be kind of fucking hilarious if stan starts dreaming about bill but like. doesn’t say anything and doesn’t even think it’s a big deal because. you know. they’re just weird dreams. and at this point, stan’s done enough drugs and been through the ringer with stress and shit that it doesn’t even occur to him to question having bizarre dreams about some little geometric freak trying to be nice to him. whaaat? a MATH SHAPE for fucking NERDS in a gay little sweater vest BOW TIE is COMPLIMENTING him in his dreams???
as far as stan’s concerned, his subconscious got REALLY hung up on the whole “ford said some nice shit to me while we were fucking” and just hasn’t let that go yet. which i think would also drive bill up the fucking wall. like stan would have been the harder nut to crack regardless, but to keep getting accused of being stan’s mental manifestation of his brother fucking praise kink???? (which of course invites the whole question of bill going fuck it, and just leaning into that, but i don’t think he’d be as adept that mimicking ford for stan as he was at mimicking stan for ford, so)
ngl, i do love the unicorn hair play, tho. fun fact! i have no idea if i’ll actually write it or not, but i’ve toyed with the idea of doing a role reversal with ford coming back out of the portal still in this 30’s and finding stan and everything else having moved forward 30 years. and the unicorn hair felt like a good way to potentially address the Bill Issue i was getting stopped up on there! but like. i also could absolutely see older!ford convincing stan to wear a collar necklace of unicorn hair to keep bill out of his head.
but i loooooove the idea of them getting mixed up with fiddleford’s cult shit. i don’t even know wtf i’d DO with that but conceptually i love it. cause they’re starting to keep an eye on the townspeople, right? and even if stan’s come up with some kinda story to explain there being kinda sorta two of them now, he wouldn’t know not to be outspoken about the other weird shit happening in town. y’know, on top of being some of the weird shit happening in town. something something, stan getting snatched like lazy susan did over the gnome incident, but ayyye that shit hits really fucking wrong when you’ve actually been kidnapped in the past already and had to chew your way out of a fucking car to get free. i think that’s be neat!!
and especially if we consider fidds being maybe already just shade too far gone, enough that running into stan or having him dragged into the cult would confuse the fuck out of him. because that’s stanford, right? it has to be, he’s coming in and out of stanford’s house, he looks like stanford with a few questionable fashion and hygiene choices — but then again, stanford hadn’t been in great shape the last time he’d shown his face outside of the cabin, either. but his hands are wrong. his hands are wrong and he can’t be stanford but then why does he look like him? easy solution: everybody gets their memory wiped.
something something, stan may not know where the fuck he is, but he knows coming to in a room full of shady guys he doesn’t recognize is either gonna end with him losing teeth or a little bit of dignity, and he’d like to hold on to his teeth a little longer.
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fairyofshampgyu · 5 months ago
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he’s literally so beautiful and handsome
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moeblob · 3 months ago
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idk if it's a fun fact or not but! Right's favorite color is green. He never wears green but it's his favorite color. then I've been working on silly emotes for my OCs and they're "disappointeddad" and "tryme".
(Also there is an AU where these two are knights along with Paul and Evelyn while Brent/Caspian/Atticus are princes. Chris is basically Caspian's personal guard while Right just runs around trying to do everything to stay busy even when not on duty which stresses Chris out. But since he's kinda busy with the crown prince it defaults to Paul having to babysit Right.)
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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favourite stupid relationship dynamic: idiots who would immediately protect and defend the other but never themself
#still thinking about how lxl just takes whatever life throws at them without fighting back (esp in the lxl movie)#so it was up to the other (mainly yujiro) to do the protecting (of aizo) since he was clearly not going to do anything about it#poor yujiro never fought back against the longleg/shortleg until aizo was brought up… no sense of self-preservation with that one#‘you can mess with me but not my bf!!!!!’ kind of energy#ig aizo did kind of defend yujiro in the [redacted] anime ep 4 nonsense and pointless scandal scene but that’s about it…#give aizo more chances to play the hero for his cute bf!!!!! the princess carry wasn’t enough!!!!#though. ngl it’s kinda funny how aizo’s always portrayed as the husband and yujiro the wife in their r/s (see: meoto)#but yujiro is always the one fighting for aizo’s honour. l&k novel (i think; still havent read it). lxl movie. chizu hallway scene (kind of)#and even in honeypre he got aizo the werewolf costume (instead of the pumpkin). he was the one who gave aizo a gift on white day (like a bf)#he even turned aizo into a worried wife when he (the bumbling husband) wandered out till late in kyoto to look for a *phone strap*#hm. well. im not sure what the point im trying to make is other than the fact that lxl are idiots for each other ig#they may be really really stupid but they love(?) and support each other (in a sense)… two menaces in a pod.#they should just get married (again)#though speaking of lxl marriage remember when that music magazine spread misinfo about how meoto was set in the sengoku era#and everyone believed it? the mv sure shocked everyone in more ways than one lmaooooooo#lxl twt was on fire that day. ‘horns??? a fantasy setting????? what happened to the sengoku era?????’ it was so funny you h a d to be there#but. hm. we’ve had quite a lxl content drought… disregarding the [redacted] mv they havent been seen in 4 months#throwing out a guess that they’ll get a new song for a winter comiket cd or sth. idk#sure hope that lxl do not get a new song or mv before kimikawaii release though bc that’d be unfairrrrrrrrr
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bunnieswithknives · 2 months ago
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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murdleandmarot · 5 months ago
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@pinkieclown HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(This is their oc Oopsadaizee!!!)
There’s a right side up version under the cut :)))
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lucrezianoin · 5 months ago
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Well, so my third attempt this year to find out what my chronic pain is ended up in another failure
Last year I completely gave up after too many random diagnosis and no solution. I'm trying again:
- gynecologist asked me if I wanted the pill if I had pain during my period (the pain is constant it just gets more intense during my period and my period is much more heavy as well since last year), the rest of the cancer test were clear
- GP says maybe it's stomach (?? Pain is under my ribs so I guess it could be), she gives me anti acid to try. The anti acid makes me feel so sick I stop at day six.
- I go back for blood tests, all clear. The GP is like okay bye, and I'm like ?? I still have pain?? Like I am missing so many working days. So she gives me ibuprofen (now keep in mind she thought it was my stomach before, and now she's giving me something that is usually not kind on the stomach). She tells me take it for two weeks every time you have pain (which would be every day for me)
And I'm like.. okay... And then she says something like "unfortunately it's impossible to know what it is, maybe it's your depression"
Now, I'm not depressed. I've not been diagnosed with depression. I take ADHD medications. This is the third time she calls them "anti depressants" and she tells me I have depression. I don't??
So I decided to go to a private clinic for an ultrasound, on my own. I don't understand why Doctors in Germany are like this. I've lived in three different countries and this is the only one where I've seen this level of incompetence, rudeness and disregard. If you're not immediately dying then it's "depression" (even if you are not diagnosed with it and don't have it).
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nerime · 7 months ago
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my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭
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isatoru · 11 days ago
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dude getting ghosted and abandoned by someone you genuinely thought you were gonna be friends with for a long time out of nowhere and you never getting closure about it/knowing why that happened is such a sad thing and i'm tired of people always saying "people will always come and go and it's okay if someone just wasn't feeling you. both sides are valid." and its like okay i know that but damn bruh i did NOT see it coming and it still doesn't change the fact it hurt at some point because i never knew why (especially when i know i didn't do anything wrong) LMFAOOO
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ywpd-translations · 1 year ago
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Ride 739: The training camp's fourth day!!
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Pag 1
1: Training camp of Sohoku High School's racing team...
2: fourth and last day, 10:18 in the morning
3: Here it comes, Rokudai!!
4: Yeah!! Teh, Kinaka-kun
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Pag 2
1: The training camp fourth and last day!!
The total distance we've ran so far is....
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Pag 3
2: Here we go!!
5: 800km!!
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Pag 4
1: We still have 200km to go until we reach 1000km!!
2: Teeh.....!! We've ran so much, teh
3: That's right, we already went beyond what I said at first, the distance from “Aomori”
4: “Aomori”!
It's still 10:30 in the morning, so if we keep going like this we can run the remaining 200km that are required!!
We can!!
Yeah!!
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Pag 5
1: My legs are all sore
2: I'm trembling all over, teh
3: The Aomori thing, when we first came here
4: 700km!!
I thought it would be impossible
5: When on the first day, the senpai created such a gap between us, I resigned myself and thought that it really was impossible
6: But then, on that day's evening, you had that idea, Kinaka-kun
8: We worked so hard starting from the morning, we closed the gap, and ran until here
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Pag 6
1: Being “buddies” really was our “breakthorugh”, teh!!
2: Breakthrough...!!
3: ??
4: Right!!
Teh...!!
5: Somehow, when I think about seeing the “goal”
6: I feel a surge of power, teh!!
Ohh...
7: Yeah, nice Rokudai, that's good!!
8: We've survived so far, so let's run through the end!!
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Pag 7
2: Pfui
Yeah....
Let's do... our best and.... run....
5: Huh, where's my bottle?
Teh
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Pag 8
3: Rokudaiii!!
6: Oooooogh
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Pag 9
3: Ah....
Kinaka....kun? Huh.... I... fell.... and my bo.... ttle?
4: Rokudaii!!
5: So-sorry
You- you saved me, because you're my “buddy”!!
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Pag 10
1: Because I'm your friend
3: Because you're my precious and reliable friend!!
4: Don't fall
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Pag 11
1: Don't fall yet!!
2: There's still a chance
3: A small one
4: We can't know until the end of this last day of this training camp
Our
5: target
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Pag 12
1: is to go together to the Inter High!!
Yeah!!
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Pag 13
2: Ohh, they got back up, those first years
They ran 800km, so I thought their pace would drop for 2 or 3 laps
3: and that they would lose momentum like that
5: There are two ways of winning a road race
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Pag 14
1: The first way is enduring determinedly, following without giving up in any situation
2: So that you survive and become the last man standing
4: And the other way is attacking yourself, actively passing and leaving behind your opponents
5: showing your strength and taking the victory....!!
6: They're both “victories”, that doesn't change
But the one who brings you more praises and admiration
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Pag 15
1: It's the latter, Issa!!
2: That's right, Danchiku!!
3: First year Omihata, my jersey
Yessir!!
4: The heat resistance training ends here!!
5: Kaburagi-san.... he took off his long-sleeved jersey....!!
That means he's gotten serious!!
6: Let's go with with Full Spec, Danchiku!!
Now that our bodies are ready, we'll definitely do our “human sacrifice”....
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Pag 16
1: We'll defeat Sugimoto-san and go to the Inter High!!
Of course, Issa!!
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Pag 17
3: Let's catch him, Danchiku!!
4: So you're here
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Pag 18
1: You two!!
2: We've come to give back to you that “you allowed us to train with you”!! Sugimoto-san!!
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Pag 19
2: Danchiku has already mastered the new bike he's riding, and he doesn't stagger anymore
Thanks to you, he's now in perfect condition!! Perfect!!
3: Yeah
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Pag 20
1: I'm just next to you and yet I can feel your pressure enough!!
3: Sugimoto-san, sorry but I'm gonna defeat you in one blow
4: I won't let you beat me in one blow
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Pag 21
1: Is that your “expectations”? Or your “hope”?
2: Yeah.... for now
3: I'll also take off my arms warmer!!
4: Sugimoto took off his arms warmer!!
5: If you come at me seriously....
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Pag 22
1: It's only polite of me to get serious too!!
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Pag 23
3: Sugimoto himself hit their handles!!
Even though usually his play-style is to avoid rough play and contact!!
4: You're in high spirits....!!
5: Not as much as you!! Danchiku!!
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Pag 24
1: Honestly, I'm surprised that you're going all out like this.... you're worth defeating!!
2: I'll let you train with me one more time, Danchiku!!
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Pag 25
2: Ah crap, they've started already!!
The last battle
3: of the fourth and last day of this training camp!!
4: Danchiku-kun!! Sugimoto-kun!!
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Pag 26
1: I'll pull now, teh, Kinaka-kun
Yeah, thank you, Rokudai!!
2: Please....
3: No....
4: I'm beaten....
Even though I've finally... cut the 200km left point...
5: That moment.... I overdid it a little....
6: My legs hurt.....
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13eyond13 · 3 months ago
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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anotherpapercut · 10 months ago
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today at work one of the kids asked me to show her a video on my phone and I said no and another kid said "if they did that they could get FIRED. and it's REALLY hard to find a job in this market right now" and I did not know how to respond to that for a second
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quinn-pop · 1 year ago
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happy cringe day wednesday guys here’s another thing i have no idea where to put <3
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…i was trying to figure out their dynamic lol
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thedrotter · 7 months ago
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sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it
#re:kinder#not art#so in my case i once saw someone talk about it in a video and some scenes with the very vague context really struck with me#i was like wow...that is so sad... i wonder what goes on#but the thing is i watch videos talking about games like that ALLL THE TIME while im multi-tasking so i FORGOT FOR A YEAR?!?!?#until one day i was sick in pain on my bed could not move. and then it came to me. yes. “RE:KINDER. I SHOULD PLAY IT.” LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE#i will never understand how i dying of pain remembered a game i saw once BY NAME AT LEAST A YEAR LATER when jve heard of so many games#and you wanna know why it stuck with me. i saw in the video an image of the “as if id be reborn as a princess” line#i did not know the context but it was devastating#AND WHEN I PLAYED THE GAME when that scene game i was shocked to silence😭😭 BECAUSE I BASICALLY WENT COMPLETELY BLIND??#I DID NOT KNOW THE LITTLE KID WOULD BE THE ANTAGONIST???? AND THAT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A SAD STORY??#like. i saw the sad coming i knew it was bound to happen yet i could have never been prepared for how hard it would hit me#I HAD TONS OF FUN but at first when i finished it i was so confused and so lost i was like welll.....what a game... TOO STUNNED FOR WORDS#then i thoughr of it for 20 minutes and bawled my eyes out and realized it was art#so when i got to my second playthrough i CRIED LIKE CRAZYYY😭😭 I WAS BLOWN AWAY IT REALLY HITS YOU#personally it admittedly hit close to home and while it made me bawl my eyes out it was also very comforting i felt very understood#AND IT WAS CRAZY FUN TOO i was not bored once the first time i played through it i was sleepy but i was so excited to keep playing😭😭#its funnt becayse i was initially apprehensive about playing cuz im sensitive to stories where sad things happen to kids#but i played it regardless because i was like “but what if its one of those scary media that hit close to home and i enjoy”#AND I WAS RIGHT. BUT NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD HIT AS INTENSELY AS IT DID😭😭 IT WAS MYCH MORE THAN EXPEVTED#many ways in which it impacted me but if i started listing them i would not shut up . so for now it is enough#IN SUMMARY WOW.. WHAY A GOOD GAME!! PLAY RE:KINDER!!!#i rambled more than i intended to i do apologize
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forthegamesmyguy · 2 months ago
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y'all seriously overestimating just how much solavellan will even matter. you know the romance in DAI was a single cutscene right? where he dumps you lol. comparatively the least content by far. and this game isn't about the inquisitor. yes it's about Solas but he may or may not have this relationship with last game's player character so, it isn't going to be given center stage. I get being annoyed with the obnoxious chronically fandom-pilled online teenagers and Disney adults, but they do this bullshit in every single space they take up. just ignore them and the rage inducing algorithms of modern social media
instead of being pissed off that one of only two vital choices is whether the Inquisitor said to redeem or stop Solas, how about be pissed off that that decision presumably is what is going to colour your Inquisitor's personality, which now I am left to assume is one of two (.5 for romanced) people, the "redeem" version being you talk soberly about Solas and say shit like "I feel responsible for him... I wish I could convince him to change his mind... He is a good person doing bad things... So sad..." and the "stop" version being you talk aggressively about Solas and say shit like "I feel slighted by him... I wish I had never allowed him access to such resources... He is a bad person doing bad things... So callous..." Like can we instead please be angry that they don't care about respecting the individuality of our different game experiences? This is not about Solas. And this is not about solavellan. It's about apparently the only thing mattering being a check in the box, when the actual experience of this *role playing game* is not universal. Not every inquisitor is going to feel about or respond to Solas in the same ways, even within the confines of solavellan, even within "stop" or "redeem". Like, I have lavellans that romanced him and would treat him kindly, I have some that would treat him bitterly, some that would treat him angrily, some that forgive and some that are furious. Do I get to experience these different possibilities? Apparently not. And it has nothing to do with solavellan. That being a part of the story is not the reason they've limited the flavours here to either one or the other. We shitting on Solas/solavellan now just bc of the most obnoxious voices you could possibly imagine? Ok cool
#i guarantee you it will yet again be like three differences in dialogue. if you were with him for trespasser you had one extra wheel and#and a different animation for him removing the magic. you got: a slight variation to the content within extremely reasonable#parameters for 'talk to go either in negative approval positive approval or a romance path'. like. what do you think is really gonna happen#you honestly believe theres gonna be Inquisitor content and then +150% more if you're a solavallen ???? be serious.#it would SHOCK me if we even got an additional cutscene with the man. i am going into this with the reasonable assumption#that it will be handled much like trespasser. and you again. get slightly different dialogue in like two segments of the conversation#me not being able to select my Inquisitor's dialogue in a scene feels to me that theyre not gonna touch much. they barely said shit w Hawke#who had completed story arcs....the solavellan thread was not tied up so leaving that up to auto dialogue feels insane to me#i have to fuckin wonder man. some of yall seem to think we're gonna have to running around as inquisitor and talking to ppl as inquisitor#this whole damn time. and in no way has any marketing given this impression for any second. the opposite in fact. the inquisitor is gonna be#a fuckin statue in the lighthouse ok#you'll probably have your intro couple of dialogue trees exactly like when hawke shows up at skyhold#and then they just chill there and go “solas sucks” when you pester them if they went Stop or go “solas needs help” for Save#until the climax when he finally busts out thr fade and you're gonna go have your big final fights and decide his fate#then they'll be like “im also here btw” and here if theyre solavellan they'll be like “solas it's our last night on earth can we smooch” and#if you've been getting the Solas is Fine Actually ending they walk off. and then the next day you have the same boss fight you always would#like come the fuck on i mean yall. dude inquisition is RIGHT there. and they did FUCK ALL with hawke!!!! inquisitor is not going to matter#so can we just. shut tf up? why are Solas fans the ones putting this bullshit all over my dashboard. like. just ignore the fuckin assholes.
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