#IM SO OBSESSED WITN HER..:.

[benreygenders]

my darling little beak who is so fucked up and has issues

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

seiga kaku?

im gonna actively try to keep myself concise and to single points because its been so easy for me in the past to get lost in wicked hermit thoughts and veer off who knows where... Part of it surely has to do with how a long time ago i used to have an rp blog on tumblr where i spent everyday thinking about seiga to some extent!

General opinion/How much I care about them: there was a long period of time where i would say without a doubt she was my single favourite character in touhou. I couldn't properly point to any one reason, or any tidy chain of events that might have led to it, other than learning about her, reading and seeing various very formative doujin works featuring her and the th13 crew, and maybe some old-fashioned projecting led me to latching onto every aspect of her... These days, there's a lot of touhous I obsess and go wild over and to even greater extents than her, but seiga objectively has the longest history of making me go a little nuts, whereas even aya took a little more time to nettle into my brain.

I like Seiga a lot and ive thought about her a lot, is what im getting at!

A ship I love: seiyoshi (seiga/yoshika) is funny in that it has a lot of little 'requirements' to me. Like if intepreted as just purely the evil hermit controlling a tool that she herself murdered to obtain, i think thats boring. But likewise, if its intepreted as just the hermit tragically trying to preserve her departed beloved, well that might be better but still lacking to me.

i couldnt possibly get across my ideal backstory for them right now, but the ultimate gist of it is that Seiga definitely did care for the living Yoshika who then died unexpectedly, before Seiga could decide herself whether she would commit to teaching her the ways of the hermit or simply get bored and move on. Her main motivation in performing the most ludicrously evil magic and create a jiangshi was because she refused to let even the natural order of life and death take anything away from her.

....Thaaaat all aside, i think their interactions in present day are just really funny 😄 Seiga 'spoiling' her dear Yoshika who laughs off being a meat shield because its not like she can die again!

A non-romantic relationship that I love: I think Seiga and Futo have the most oddball dynamic among the taoists and also Futo is probably the only one Seiga wouldn't have intense romanctic tension with. Futo who is a weirdo herself, acknowledges Seiga as their wise teacher of the arts (calling her seiga-donno) and yet also does not think of her as above any of them in their little personal hierarchy because Futo knows Seiga has no interest in being a proper retainer to Miko, so all of Futo's formalities almost come off as either sarcastic or as a really esoteric form of endearment. Meanwhile, Seiga probably thought a long time ago Futo would grow weary of things like loyalty and matters of noble blood or talking like an ancient old person, but none of that happened and Futo remains the same as ever, which has been altogether surprising, charming, and exasperating for Seiga (and everone else but they're all mostly charmed 😊)

The NOTP: i guess you'd have to work especially hard to get me to gel with pairing her up with any of myouren temple's folks. I get the temptation since every other taoist has one or two easily paired up counterpart there, but its not enough to just cross a checklist and leave it at that!

(that said, if you were gonna pair up buddhists and taosists thematically, i get why one might put seiga with shou since they were technically most vital in backstory with miko/byakuren respectively, and also because they both have a servant, one jiang-shi and a mouse. but i always thought seiga made a better parallel witn nue personally)

My biggest headcanon about them: most of this post is already headcanon, but as for another 'big' one...

I believe over the last thousand and whatever years, Seiga made semi-regular (as in maybe once every few years or a century?) visits to the tomb where Miko and gang slept, indulging and refreshing her memories of them, chatting up Tojiko who is now a ghost. And then sometime in 2011 right as her hermit senses told her it was finally time to meet them all again, she went to to tomb to greet them all only to find out literally the entire place was gone 😨

so all within like a week or something, Seiga had to go on a mad investigative quest where she discovered they had all been whisked to Gensokyo at some point, had to learn what the heck Gensoyko even is, how to get herself there, and then arrived just in time to get blasted by the incident resolvers. Really busy time in her life!

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: ha... one day, my multi-part seiga backstory fic incorporating every stray headcanon i've ever had. and then i quit writing forever maybe n_n

That aside, a funny scenario would be Okina appearing trying to stir drama because Seiga is basically the reason why Miko divorced Okina. And Seiga has no idea who she is or about any of that because Miko never mentioned it 😌

Something that makes me think of them: pretzels.

also its someone elses fault but luo tianyi is just the seiga vocaloid to me 😑

[miutonium]

Lmao so I'm still sick today and I stayed in bed the whole day because of that but I needed to feed my brainrot so instead of being miserable in bed not being able to draw and do my work, I wrote a fic of Utonium and Chloe because I've been obsessing over the thought of them slow dancing and just me writing a HC of ut isn't enough lol

I guess this should be consider as a song fic? Idk man but shhh please im begging u pls listen to "Dynamic Superior - If I Could Meet You" because its so underrated and it's such a sweet song ;e;

Anyway there's no warning inside other than light angst and probably mention of Chloe's past? Tell me if you want to make me tag something just in case i missed out.

Fic under cut cuz apparently it was 2.3k words lol

"No way,"

Is the first word that came out of Utonium's mouth when she admits to him that she never slowed dance.

"You're kidding, right?" He asked, it's not confrontational, no. Rather he find it amusing that his girlfriend confesses she never slowed danced before.  Throughout his time getting to know her, through their small talks when he was her patron, shoving pancakes into his mouth as he secretly steals a glance of her through the reflection of the corner mirror, and when he finally dated her, listening to her talking about her wild adventure back in her early 20s, he never really thought that her never slow dancing before would amuses him more.

"No, I actually never did." She confirmed her previous statement as she gets up from her seat from one of his couch in his office.

"Hmm, but you told me you used to go to clubs before, right?" He asked more, his posture now straightened up to focus on her, curious to know what her answers will be.

"Well, yeah, but it's not the same though. At clubs you just dance erratically to whatever the crazy beat was and you're surrounded by a bunch of intoxicated ravers." Chloe explains further, while mindlessly checking out his shelves full of books and piles of papers she will never understand.

"How about school though? You can't tell me you dont have those in your homecoming prom?" Utonium shifts his swivel chair towards her direction, by this time he already lost interest on continuing writing his notes and tucked his pen into his pocket. "I mean, even back in the 60s we have those, although we're swaying to Elvis." He continued.

"I thought Elvis was lame by the 60s," Chloe turns her head to Utonium,

"Well, technically you're right, that's what you get when you have adults at that time be in charge of the music selection." He chuckled slightly, remembering his time back in high school wearing an oversized suit belonging to his ol' pops. Eugene never let him wear his tartan suits even though they're equally the same size no matter how much he argued and cried to his mom about it and Utonium never owned a suit other than it's a hand-me-down from his relatives at that time.

For a moment, there was silent. The only audible thing was the table fan whirring and blowing cool air in the room, none of them seem to speak again. And that's what they always do in the room, talk until the conversation die down and do their own thing in silent. And it's never awkward to them, Utonium finds her presence to be welcoming, even when he's busy either writing notes for his next class or stressing over writing some finishing touches to his papers. Knowing that he isn't alone and being able to look at Chloe reading magazine or napping on his couch with the book covering her face eases him tremendously. Sometimes he laid his lab coat on top of her just to cover her from the cold air.

His office used to be messy and....lifeless, as Chloe would say. White walls with brown and nude furnitures decorating the space, with piles of documents and papers strewn on his tables and coffee marks on the work table that he didn't seem to bother wiping out. Although, oddly enough, other spot doesn't seem to be affected by the mess, only his table were a nightmare for Chloe to witness. Utonium couldn't recall why he let her into his office in the first place, his own kids rarely goes inside his office as well. But nevertheless, he welcomed her presence into his office and let her add a few decoration of her own just to lighten things up in the room. From an outsider's eyes, its pretty easy to catch on which stuff belongs to Utonium or Chloe, the random pink flamingo figure right next to his brown golf bag doesn't seem to match his aesthetic to start with, and so does the random decorations and a vase full of fresh  flowers right on top of his coffee table. But he accepted it, it makes him happier that his office looks more like theirs now.

"No, I don't. I didn't go to my prom." And Utonium snapped back to reality when he realized Chloe now stares back at him from a distance, now playing with

an hourglass from the bookshelf. "Back then, my parents couldn't afford the fee and a pretty dress for me to go. And at that time I just don't see the need to go, I could have use my own money to feed my siblings instead."

"I missed out, didn't I?" For some reason, Chloe felt a bit sad that she missed out on a lot of things from high school and even more so when she remembers that she didn't even graduated high school. Maybe if she took her education seriously, she might ended up being a better person than she currently is.

"No honey, you don't. I got stood up by a girl and ended up bailing earlier with my buddies to go get hamburgers instead." Utonium reassures her, he could sense that his sweetheart is upset being reminded about her teenage years. They've been dating for months now and it's not until recently he found out that behind her confident and cheery facade she shows to everyone at work and him, she hides her regret and insecurity so well. And he figured it out one day after she burst into tears one night on their bed crying about how she doesn't deserve a good and smart man like he is when she's an exact opposite of his with no goal. It took him a while to calm her down and reassures her that he loves her dearly with no condition. Even so, he still doesn't know her own history and family, she's reluctant about talking about them but Utonium had no intention to do so. All that matters to him is that she is safe with him and he'll do everything in his power to make the happiest woman ever just like she did to him.

"Huh, unlucky. I would've wanted to dance with you if I were that girl." Chloe chuckles lightly and it puts Utonium in ease knowing that she finds it funny.

"Would you, though? You saw my school yearbook picture before didn't you?"

"You're right, I probably would've give you a wedgie instead." She laughed and he pouted, feigning hurt from her comments. She of course knew that he's a good sport about it and continues messing around with the books on his bookshelf looking for something to mindlessly read about.

Utonium finally rise from his chair, walking towards the record player nearby the shelf before bending down and quickly shuffles his fingers through records he owns , stopping at a certain cover and pulling it off his shelf. He lightly blow and dusted off the cover, it says "Dynamic Superior" at the front.

By this time, Chloe already picked a book and sat down on the couch, her eyes just scanning and reading the text in the magazine mindlessly, before she heard soul music plays in the room.

"If I could meet you now, instead of years ago-, ♪"

She took a peak from her book to see Utonium swaying slowly to the music.

"Kenny?" She called him out meekly. It's not uncommon to see him put on music whenever they're in the office, but this is her first time seeing him slowly moving along to the beat in a dance, and she couldn't help but to stare at him, her eye follows his every movement up to when he waltz his way to the couch she's sitting on.

"If I could start again, I'll never let you go,♪"

"Will you have this dance with me?" Utonium leans down slighly, he extends his palm in front of her, roping her to join him in.

"Yes, yes I do." Chloe accepted his offer with a smile on her face, holding his palm as he helped her getting off of the couch. He then helped her balancing on heels before he placed his hand right on her shoulderblade.

"If I could meet you now, If I could hold you close,♪"

She placed her hand onto his shoulder, her other hand cupped by Utonium's larger hands. When he feels that she's ready, he slowly move his feet, with Chloe following his footsteps afterwards. It seems so natural to Chloe, she doesn't have a hard time picking up to his slow pace and more so that she didn't mistep nor accidentally stepped on his feet, as if she had this dance with him before.

And they swayed slowly to the sweet melody, their body closely hold onto each other. Utonium's eyes softly curls into crescent as he gaze onto her eyes, enjoying his moment with his

beloved.

"I whispered all the love yous, The ones I didn't show,♪"

"I thought it would be nice if you danced with me." Utonium whispered, as if he knew that Chloe would ask him why he decided to break into a slow dance.

"How do you feel about it?"

"It's...it's really nice." Chloe professed.

"I think it would be nicer if you put Elvis on." And it earned a tiny chuckle from Utonium.

"I'll bribe the DJ next time."  He smiled, before shifting his pose slightly so now their bodies are closer to each other.

"T-thanks anyway, for giving me the chance to do this." Her voice was tiny, trying to hide her embarassment from him. "I don't think anyone ever do this to me until you do."

Utonium knew exactly what she meant, his small gesture might meant nothing to anyone, but for her? It meant everything. Every small things he did meant the world to her. Growing up, she constantly seek attention from her parents, shifting to boys when she grew older because she never receive enough affection from anyone. And it pains her that none of her feeling were being reciprocate enough, all she ever wanted was to feel loved, just like how she loved all her previous partners before. But a human can only handle so many heartbreaks before they wear down and had enough of it.

"When I go back in time, in my memories' mind,♪"

And so she promised that she won't be wearing her heart on her sleeves no more and not rely too heavily on anyone, afraid that she would be disappointed and left with another broken heart, that is until she started dating Utonium. Learning from her previous relationships, she decided to put her expectation low. She didn't want to pursue affection and asked for kisses and hugs, she thought to herself that maybe if she doesn't put any expectation this time, she won't be a broken mess by the time Utonium would have left her when the time comes. She's used to disappointment and heartbreaks, its pretty much a norm to her, but she's not use to when this time, Utonium's the one seeking her love and affection. She's not used to him being the one initiating hugs and cuddle session, she's not used to him to being the one planning for dates and she's not used to him being the one that has to ask if he could place a sweet kiss on her lips. And it overwhelms her so much to the point that Chloe breaks down completely one day, screaming at Utonium "What do you want from me?!"

"I will not change in a million ways if I could meet you, if I could meet you. ♪"

Being so used to being manipulated to get something from her, she couldn't even tell that Utonium's feelings were genuine. She couldn't even tell that this whole time, Utonium's the one that has been wearing his heart on his sleeves all along. And being the patient and sweet man he is, instead of leaving her brewing in her thoughts, he held her close to him, his hand gently rubbing soothing circles onto her back before whispering his true intention to her.

"I don't know what they've done to you. And I'm sorry it happened to you, it hurts me tremendously to see you like this. But please believe me that everything I do was real. I love you, please hold onto me, okay?"

Words are easier to be said than done and it was hard for Chloe to accept at first, but seeing how patient he was dealing with her at her lowest, sticking around giving her support and encouragement and how kind and sweet he is to her and others slowly makes her believe that his intention were genuine. And slowly she accepts that just as she wanted love and affection, Utonium was seeking the same thing as she does, which is why he would do everything for her, including swaying aimlessly in the middle of his office.

"if I could meet you, if I could meet you now.♪"

"You know that I would do anything for you, right?"

Utonium's smile never falter as he waited for her to response.

"Yeah, you do."

By this time, the music almost reached to the end, and they swayed slowly, their faces now very close to each other, lips inches away from touching each other.

"Chloe, can I kiss you?" Utonium breathed.

"If I kiss you, I will show you how much I need you. ♪"

She always finds it so cute that even though they've been dating for a while, he never failed to ask for permission, despite how much she assured him that he didn't need to ask. At this point, she just accepts that it's a quirk of his and she has no issue with it.

Chloe hums, before she tiptoed and sealed his soft lips with hers. Utonium soon returned her gesture and leaned into her kiss.

"If I could meet you now, If I could meet you. ♪"