#IM SO EXCITED FOR CHAPTER 5 I WILL LITERALLY EAT IT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

allamericanb-tch · 7 months ago

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you signed up for this thoughts (1)

currently riding off the adrenaline rush that was doing my final project for english literally 30 minutes before it was due. will i be pulling an all nighter? i hope not. i have things to do tomorrow. but it is entirely possible. it is currently 12:11 am on may 4th. i will be back with the time when i stop reading. ok. it’s 1:50 am and im done with chapter two. i’m tired but also im not but im going to force myself to sleep bc ill regret it if i dont.

chapter 1

guys i need long rosekiller fic recs. this is so irrelevant but

cruel summer! i love swifties.

modern AUs are really starting to grow on me

guys i love dorcas so much she’s so cool i’m in love with her

celsius jump scare (i just looked up the conversion and 30°C is 86°F which is PERFECT WEATHER what is regulus yapping about)

“honestly, straight guys. a mystery to regulus.”

“dorcas is almost too gay to function.” we should totally just stab caesar!!!

they’re in spain why did i think they were in australia

BARTY?!

yes dorcas you ARE a bad bitch

i’m living for dorcas and regulus friendship

lily! my love <3

remus!

JAMES POV!!! james is my favorite guys i love him so much

is james hispanic in this omg (wait yeah that would make sense if this takes place in spain…) hispanic james is so dear to me

MARLENE!!!! just a mention of her but i love marlene. so. much.

no why is he being mean ☹️ i mean i get why but james fleabag potter is the most Genuinely Nice Guy to every Genuinely Nice Guy

peter!

frank!!

hogwarts spa and resort 😭

regulus pov again!

rip bartylus ☹️

six weeks!

the tired is setting in i might just read one chapter and then go to sleep

omg black brothers reunion when??

james pov again! i’m glad this fic clarifies the povs i like that

eeee jegulus

sex wax mention

regulus pov again again!

dorcas calling remus “tall dark and handsome” genuinely that phrase confused me so much for so long (it still does) like im just imagining them being enveloped in a perpetual shadow

what the fuck is a half british half american accent with a spanish twang

this fic is irking me, but generally all modern AUs do

“there go his plan for ogling” REAL

james pov again again!

sirius!

not lily thinking regulus is dorcas’ boyfriend

sirius is a short queen and i love him

remus pov!!!

eeee sirius

wolfstarwolfstarwolfstar

PANDORA!!!!!!!

i love remus and regulus friendship

i love long end notes

chapter 2

“But also, he’s so freaking tired.” james being the realest ever

enemies to lovers wolfstar

SIRIUS BEING 5’5 i love it

regulus pov!

oooooo

jegulus is jegulusing

i have to pee SO BAD rn omg

eee james pov

oh me oh my

remus pov!

dorcas!!!!!

regulus pov again

chapter 3

i am back many hours later (i am driving to prom) (don’t worry i am not the one driving)

excited for this one

i have no idea what the work aspect of this fic is about

STOP DONT CALL SUNSCREEN CREAM AHHH

“i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in. i don’t want to fit in.”

platonic prongsfoot ❤️‍🩹

“i want to be marlene when i grow up” REAL

i hate the way paraphernalia is spelled so much

dorlene!!!!!!

marlene 😭 i love her so much

ew stop saying tall dark and handsome it’s so wattpad

dorlene is dorlening

i think regulus is going to stumble upon sirius rn

I KNEW IT AHHH

and he’s running away

AH james

jegulus is jegulusing

oh my god

this is so wattpad and im living for it honestly

“hello brother” BAH STOP

regulus having a canis major tattoo ❤️‍🩹

chapter 4

i stopped reading and it is now one more day later

james is so. james.

“Grumbling under his breath, he connects his phone via Bluetooth and finds his one sad playlist. It exists for emergencies only, but he thinks this qualifies.” HELP

regulus has been found

jegulus jegulus jegulus

james 😭

regulus having a peanut allergy

jamessss whyyyy ☹️

barty jump scare

stoppppp omg ew

lily!!!!!

pandora!! i love her so much

🎶you look like stevie nicks🎶

pandalily ?! eat.

i love pandora so much omg

greyback ??

james and sirius

chapter 5

what is 1700 in normal time

sirius leaving the note for regulus ❤️‍🩹

remus “i can’t fucking stand you” lupin and sirius “you’re welcome to kneel” black

dorcas!

arepas mmm

dorcas!

PLEASE barty and regulus texting i can’t with them

i lpve moonwater

chapter 6

dinner ahhh

beer is literally just bread soda

james is such a mom friend

midnights !!!!!

NOAH KAHAN !!!!!

sirius has excellent music taste

jegulus ahhh

peter 😭 i love him so much

stop this is giving me the ick

WHAT THE F

i’m eating this enemies to lovers wolfstar up please they need to kiss so bad

jegulus

chapter 7

regulus just pining

yes sirius you’re absolutely right lost the breakup IS a banger

MATILDA IS NOT A SKIP

omg is it called you signed up for this bc of the maisie peters song.

“There are only two reasons Sirius will get out of bed before eight am. Mortal peril or good waves.”

sirius and remus alone together ?!

KISS ALREADY

AHHHHHHH

wolfstar is wolfstaring

oh they’re really going at it

yeah that was really. hmm. i mean good for them honestly but

“Remus’ mouth twitches, then he looks at Sirius, who is trying very hard to avoid his gaze for some reason. It’s odd, and Regulus doesn’t like it. Did they have a fight or something?” yeah or something

sirius and regulus ☹️

marlene 😭 icon as always

james!

yay i love dancing

regulus being regulus (pining after james)

chapter 8

oh? hanky panky in this chapter ?!

no hablo español

regulus calling james mr darcy

THE HAND FLEX SCENE yes it is a classic

mcdonald’s so america core

james carrying an epipen for regulus ❤️‍🩹

omg they’re going dancing

james respectful king

omg daddy yankee mention we used to listen to his songs in middle school spanish class

jegulus is jegulusing omg

sirius pov

eeeee wolfstar happenings

moonwater friendship <3

CANNON FODDER 😭

chapter 9

lily!!!!!

pandora ?!

i love lesbian lily

pandalily!

keeping it platonic my ass

yeah inside joke. sure.

“If Mary finds out he took Remus into the staff corridor, she’ll neuter him” 😭😭

wow this author just loves the phrase “kisses their teeth”

i love sirius and regulus

BAH REGULUS AND THE TAYLOR REFERENCES i love him so much

regulus having no friends his whole life he’s just like me fr

james you menace

STOP SAYING CREAM IM BEGGING YOU

“While Regulus is having a small, private crisis” that’s one way to put it

i really don’t like barty in this which is sad for me because i love barty

“Do you really want to faint in front of Sirius like you’re a Victorian lady?”

what are they doing

please stop saying “#/10 would ___” it’s so millennial

i was gonna stop here but i think i will read one more

chapter 10

hanky panky hanky panky

i love dorlene

i love pandalily

we need more wlw centric fics if i was confident in my writing abilities that is what i would do

dorcas!!

guys i love dorlene so much

being a multishipper is so fun bc i love marylily so much but pandalily eats every time

i love forced proximity

sirius having to run after remus bc sirius is Very Short and remus is Very Tall so real

oh they’re in the backseat now

oh jegulus

oh me oh my

THEYRE KISSING AHHHHHHH

stop i can’t believe it’s only been a week

they’re really going at it aren’t they

ew stop this is giving me the ick

ok im going to read another chapter

chapter 11

this is the last one i swear

sirius telling lily! underrated friendship frfr

marlene!

i love jegulus so much omg

i love the word magnanimous

remus telling regulus

poor dorcas ☹️

“You’re like a pesky mosquito, you know that?” Remus groans, shaking his head. Unbelievable.

“Hmm, yeah, I guess. I mean, I’d like to bite you.” 😭😭 sirius you menace

regulus you menace

“You are a menace.” this is exactly what i’ve been saying

sirius jump scare

oh me oh my

i love pandora

oh ?!

ok reading the next chapter

chapter 12

oh me oh my

not imagine dragons 😭

hospital 🫡

eeeeee they’re kissing

wolfstar

sleepover ?!

why is this hilarious

sirius is such a menace

i love sirius and regulus so much

“Barty made Regulus feel like the world was against them. James makes Regulus feel like it’s them against the world.”

dorcas!

dorlene ☹️

jegulus is jegulusing

ew stop this is giving me the ick

ok i actually have to sleep now

#you signed up for this #solmussa

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finnyphcntom · 2 months ago

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notorious.

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chapter two : combos

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He remembers his young days, walking into this very gas station way past his curfew with Aiden. He’d walk right in and buy him one big blue raspberry slushie, and then grab whatever snack he was craving that night. It was typically combos. He fucking loved combos.

---------

Fucking shit.

He was tired, exhausted even. He knew Dandelion was fun to talk to but shit, not that fun.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : geralt got baxk with me the party is at 6 but everyone showsbup late to shit like that so meet me at 7'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : excited to see you, its been a while!'

The speedway parking lot was rather empty when Lambert put his car in park.

There were many things he swore by, and just as many things he swore by but didn't listen to. One of those things was stopping caffeine- effective probably never.

Not only did Dandelion keep him up, but he was just a tired grouchy man.

But he needed his energy today. He had to work a shitty 9-5, but after, he had a party to crash. Better expect pettiness of all that is petty. He's talking tables thrown, lies exposed…

He knew the location, the time, who all would be there. Its funny, actually, because Dandelion said Kiera's been there often.

But she hadn't. Lambert had asked her about it; if she knew anything. Each time she would go quiet as if trying to remember or think if she has, but would always answer no. The days of the party, she would be stuck at her business late or have something to do. So there was no way she would have been able to make it.

She always had something to do, near the end.

Isnt that funny? Never wanted to hang out with him, never went on dates, barely even responded to him, but sobbed when he left her. She begged him to stay, hell, even threw glassware at him- it made no sense in his rather walnut sized brain.

'lambert : hey do me a favor, dont tell geralt im going'

'lambert : or tbh anyone for that matter. i want it to be a complete surprise.'

'lambert : do that for me and consider me ur free ride of the night, will u princess?’

He slipped his phone into his pocket and got out of his car, walking into the speedway.

Aiden first put him on the snack, Lambert thinking they were incredibly… “mid.” But after trying different flavors, he realized he was literally obsessed with the pizza flavors. They were a snack sent by the heavens, a gift from god himself.

But man, how he missed Aiden. Grief never ends, never goes away. Lambert lost maybe more than half of him when he received that phone call that night from Aiden’s mother. Everyday was the same- no more two in the morning gas station runs and getting high behind said gas station. No more skipping highschool classes to hang out in the bathrooms.

He could never again eat combos.

Life was the same. He finds someone he clicks with, gets attached to them way to quick then someone like him should, its good for a while, and then it ends. Doesn't matter how that ending comes about, it still ends.

And every single day he works this shit ass nine to five. He comes back and does the same farm work, plays the same game. He could really use a switch up, but how?

A ding from his phone causes him to realize that he's standing there, just ominously staring at the red bull fridge. If he had a nickel for every time his phone is the mediator between him and his weirdly timed zone-outs, he would have… plenty of nickels, actually.

‘dandelion : oh, what kind of ride we talkin? ;)’

‘dandelion : is your passenger seat taken? morning btw ^^ i fell asleep’

Lambert's response was shamefully immediate. And oh yeah, he saved Dandelions contact.

‘lambert : never ta ken when its you, princess’

‘lambert : and im talkin bout the ride of your life baby’

His smile is the biggest it’s been in a while when he grabs two or three red bulls and heads to the self checkout.

He really, really wasn't used to this. What the fuck was he doing? Flirting was typically really hard for the guy, given he attempts to avoid any form of human interaction.

Dandelion doesn't answer, not even when he's paid and back in his car. Lambert has never been the most patient of people.

‘dandelion : uhhhhh what do i do if 3 of my tires are slashed?’

‘dandelion : i have a performance idk what to do should i call geralt?’

‘dandelion : geralt will just get mad tho and assume it was my ex’

He stared at his phone screen. According to Geralt, Dandelion’s ex is.. well, psychotic. Dandelion has had to move, stay nights with them, and get Geralt to scare the guy off on multiple occasions.

But he had work in approximately 23 minutes. He couldnt skip work, it was too late for him to call in. He would be in big trouble if he did so, there only being one other manager for the whole store. Not to mention, the paycut. His paycheck would be short, and he's got saving to do.

Geralt would likely get angry at him, too. He was always real big on making sure Lambert never socialized with Dandelion. Lambert was never really sure why.

Of course, there were a lot of reasons he speculated. Geralt knew Lambert would treat him better. Geralt knew Dandelion would like him better. Geralt knew that though antisocial, Lambert tended to form attachments quickly.

Years of abuse and neglect from a drunken father would do that to a guy, he supposes. Always getting attached, paranoid of random people. It was hard for him to trust.

He wasn't thinking. Wasn't thinking when he lifted his phone and tapped on it a few times.

“Hey, this is Lambert. Im letting you know I wont be making it in today. Im sorry.”

He hung up.

Did he really just do that?

‘lambert : hey, whats ur address?’

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion looked just about ready to sob when he got in the car.

“I told you my performance is not until later.” Dandelion says, anxiously checking his surroundings. “I couldve- couldve arranged an uber. Or just not went. Its not really that important.”

This man was chronically insane. His ex slashes his tires in a location hes not supposed to know about? And he was just going to stay there?

“Clearly someone who isnt supposed to know you live here, well.. does. Its not safe for you to be here right now. We can… I dont know. Do you want to come to my place?” Lambert asked.

Dandelion shook his head no. He wasnt for Geralt knowing, wanting to avoid drama all together.

Lambert cracked open one of his redbulls, putting the car back in drive and pulling out of the driveway.

“Then, do you have parents to g-”

“No. Please, thank you, but no. Not them.” Dandelion says, clutching his seatbelt. “They don't really support my life right now.”

Lambert didn't need an explanation, driving down the road. He didn't have a girlfriend to waste money on, so he wasn't necessarily worried about wasting gas.

It was quiet for a bit, Dandelion giving himself a bit to calm down. When Lambert begins to question if they were going to talk at all, Dandelion speaks up.

“I like being a passenger princess. Being treated like royalty, which I deserve no less.” He says, smiling. “I am quite picky. Do you think you can keep up?”

Clearly, Lambert was really good at flirting with Dandelion before. It came naturally to him, flowing out of his mind like a river. So, clearly, he needed not to think before spewing out the best pick-up line you’ve ever heard,

“I- I uh- can, can keep you up.”

Okay that was bad. But rather worth it, if it weren't for the rupture of laughter that rang through the car.

“I'm focused on driving!” He exclaims, defensive manners strong in his words.

“You know, you and Geralt are similar.” Dandelion closes his eyes, and Lambert's heart drops. The shadow was back, coming for him, engulfing him, warming him and leading him astray. It was burning cold, sharp, an ache in his heart. A feeling he was tired, or even exhausted of. Geralt was a never-ending, constantly raising bar that he had to do hourly pullups on. Hourly reminders that he was not Geralt, the perfect golden child of the family.

“But you’re also so different. I'd go as far to say you’re nicer,” Dandelion starts, and Lambert's heart flutters. “And honestly? Better morals. More fun to be around. What im trying to say,” the shadow is shrinking, shiverling into a smaller fragment of what it once was, instead being replaced by the light that is this mans gorgeous fucking face, “I can definitely tell you were raised by the same man. But you’re also.. Your own person, and I like that.”

In the middle of the street, he put his car in park and grabbed both sides of Dandelions face, pressing his lips onto the soft, delicate lips of the sweet princess of sunshine he had sitting in the passenger seat of his car.. Dandelion climbs on top of him as they begin to make out.

Is what would happen if Lambert got everything he wanted. And if traffic laws were avoidable. And if he had tinted windows.

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion was a performer, a rising one at that. Therefore, when Dandelion suggested he come watch his performance, there was no way in hell he could decline. He saw videos of him on almost any platform he had- covering songs, writing songs, his cute, smart little intros and outros. He was made to perform.

He was supposed to be covering a song today. It wasn't a concert or anything- he was hired to put on a show for an event at a club. It shouldn't be too crowded. It was a club, at 3pm. No way it’d be busy.

Boy was he wrong. Luckily, Dandelion was able to drag him to the front, right in the center. He winked and gave him a little wave, before he was off somewhere backstage.

Lambert stood there like a fool, a lost puppy if you will. He had never been the type for this, was not expecting this many people, and was overstimulated, and- holy shit, the lights just dimmed red. Like a deep, blood red.

There was a faint noise, like a sound kicking on. When music started, he visibly flinched. God, it was loud. The person next to them, seemingly recording, gave him a rather rude side eye.

The music stopped, and Dandelion walked out, wearing a rather oversized black sheer blouse- that fell perfectly over his porcelain shoulders.

“How are we doing tonight?” He says, smiling widely at the crowd in front of him.

The crowd just roared, causing Lambert to flinch again, but his body locked up when he made eye contact with Dandelion. The red lighting- a warm tone but god did Dandelion look so cold- sick as fuck.

“How am I?” He asked, pointing at himself. “Oh, I'm okay. I almost couldn't make it here. Valdo Marx slashed my tires.”

His ex was Valdo Marx? That ugly ass guy?

A loud set of ‘boo’s’ and ‘fuck him!’s’ ran through the crowd, as the beat started.

“Anyway, I decided to cover a Hozier song. You know, per request.” He winked.

“Just a little rush, babe.

To feel dizzy, to derail the mind of me.

Just a little hush babe,

Our veins are busy,

But my hearts in atrophy”

His eyes were wide. His heart was pounding. His heart rate was faster than the blue hedgehog in the games he’d play when he was little. The red lighting, his cheeky little intro about his ex. His even cheekier smile, the look of passion in his eyes.

Dandelion was a masterpiece.

“You and I, nursing on a poison that never stung,

Our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it,

Somewhere for this, death and guns

We are deaf, we are numb

Free and young and we can feel none of it”

Lambert realized the music really wasn't that loud anymore. No, it wasn't loud enough. Though still, with hands on the microphone stand, he was the best performer Lambert had ever seen. Okay, maybe he was a bit biased. That voice was a gift from heavy itself, though.

Why did he only now decide to pull out his phone and start recording? He didn't know. But he was.

“Something isn't right, babe

I keep catching little words,

But the meanings thin

Im somewhere outside my life, babe

I keep scratching but somehow, I can't get in

So we’re slaves to any semblance of touch,

Lord we should quit...

But we love it too much”

Dandelion seemed to see that Lambert was recording, and made direct eye contact with the man again. He watched as Dandelion’s hands ran up the microphone stand, slowly pulling the microphone out of its attachment, walking forward..

Slowly, Dandelion transitioned onto his knees, closer to the crowd. He held himself up with his free arm, his sheer blouse falling over his shoulder to reveal more of that porcelain skin to the needy, desperate people.

He was the so-called needy, desperate people.

“Darlin’, don't you, stand there watching,

Won't you

Come and save me from it?

Darlin’, don't you, join in, you’re supposed to

Drag me away from it.”

Now deciding to sit up, if anything he was leaning a little back, face full of emotion. He was too dumbfounded to read which emotion though. Just saw Dandelion, that pretty face, and pretty skin peeking through.

“Anyway to distract and sedate,

Adding shadows to the wall of the cave.”

Dandelion was able to pull off a mix of standing up and spinning as he repeated the chorus, singing with much more energy than the start. It probably had a word. Everything had a word. Lambert wasn't a master of music.

“I learned that song yesterday, just for you guys.” He said, winking. What comes next is a somehow, strangely handsome mixture between a pant and a laugh.

“I think I’m going to go to a gas station and get a redbull and some combos after this one, what about you guys?”

And as the cheer and roars erupt, he's stuck there.

Combos.

#lambert x dandelion #aiden witcher #witcher eskel #lambert x aiden #lambert witcher #dandelion #geralt x dandelion #jaskier #the witcher #pacing will get better #pacing sucks im sorry #im trying so hard #this took me so long #sobs #sobs profusely #rip aiden we miss u queen #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg

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sucktacular · 1 year ago

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venting ignore me cw covid, covid-death, existential dread, depression, illusion to suicide/self harm etc

we really are on the wrong timeline huh

every since 2019 (at the very least) NOTHING has been the same and I'm scared to death that it never will be. even close to it.

and i say this so so selfishly, because of COURSE it will never be the same!! MILLIONS of people DIED!!!! they literally woke up one day and died the next. wars and wars and hurt and torn political climates, etc etc etc etc etc etc its never ending

but from where I am, in my own little world, nothing has ever gone back to okay. im trapped in my house. my brain doesnt settle and my desires are secondary to keeping myself propped up. ive never been objectionably alright, and thats important to remember as well, but that feeling really lingers.

you know when we were teenagers and we swore up and down to ourselves that when high school ended we would some how die? that that was the end and there was no continuing? whether that was a self inflicted plot against ourselves or just the fear of the unknown, it had weight and it dragged with us even after. I escaped it for a while, kept my head up and kept myself busy and tended to my desires. but i was never good at trimming off the excess. Of spoon feeding myself nutrition or shading myself from the storms. ive always been neglectful of myself even when I've been selfishly present. and sure i can blame that on money for sure. when you lack the funds to tend to your needs and tend to your downfalls and tend to your selfish little wants it draaags you and it claws at your meat and it sloughs off your bones.

i survived high school and left everything behind, as I always have done. I took some time to heal after cutting people out and then I went to school. I felt good I felt right I felt promising. And then I crashed back down immediately. It took me years to pick myself back up and I never really stood up quite as straight. Then I had a job and lived with my parents. it was freeing but I needed to Leave. It was horrid and it was life sucking. I left and I was in panic for money for 4 years. It was freeing but it cut into my skin like ill fitting shoes. I was a robot only alive to finish my work, come home, and return to my charging closet to do it all again the next day. Now we're two years later of Nothing and my bones are poking through itching and itching and itching. but, really, at the end of all of these chapters in my life, my bones and brain have been clawing inside me since i was 5.

I feel like the clouds are booming overhead and the rain is just a millasecond away. that darkness around you and the smell has been lingering for 3 years at the very least. and everyday ive remarked "it's going to rain soon" like I'm 10 again, but theres no excitement left in my throat.

the easy answer is The Mental Illness needs treatment. The dirt ive grown my garden in is tainted and poison, it all needs to be ripped up and dug out and replaced. but i feel too that as much as I've always tried, since the first time my doctor told me "depression" and handed me those little rattling capsules. but its molded over and the weeds grow back and the slugs eat away my plants and ants make their homes deep inside me.

and i say all that and i still have my shiny little speck of hope that maybe im wrong and that maybe ill get better and maybe ill be okay for a while more and that things will be okay and that maybe one day i can have a flourishing garden and maybe it'll be beautiful and maybe it can even feed me and give back to my heart. and that maybe I'll have enough to give to the people I love and the people I care for and the people I want to surround myself with. but it feels like its getting harder to agree with myself that the hope really even is there anymore. i feel like i rip up my garden time and again and at this point its for the catharsis more than an attempt at healing.

i want to thrive and i want to bloom and i want to grow so tall, feel as strong and powerful as I did for a few moments in my life. but how do you even begin to overcome the Dread Of It All? I know, again, the mental illness will drain you out and fill you with poison. fill you with false ideas and false promises of terrible futures and terrible presents. but at the same time... I feel like it'd be so delusional to not feel this way?

i think one of the worst parts of a sick mind is knowing youre sick, to see yourself rot and mold and wither, and being absolutely powerless to stop it. thats why im so scared all the time. thats why I've been screaming in vents and readmores and even those embarassing facebook statuses filled with carefully curated lyrics no one cared about but only to give a chuckle and say "chin up, eeyore". its not the people. its not the places. its not so much leaving my safe spaces. because i know these spaces arent keeping me safe and well. but its the fear of Getting Worse and NOT being able to pick myself back up this time. its the fear of Ruining myself, my life, my everything with one wrong move. It's like trying to sleep with a nightlight, knowing that one day the bulb will flicker out and I'll have to either be brave enough for the dark or i'll have to be quick enough to replace that light. I've been reaching for nothing every day and night, and sometimes i find a hand to grab on to, but it always loses its strength. whether a fault of my own or a fault of time.

and i was simply never that brave. im only good at keeping my head down and hoping it away. but that doesnt fix me. im still so scared all the time.

im tired. im so tired. im a coward and thank god for that. it lends me more time, but im not quite sure its worth it.

and i think one of the worst things is the crowds asking me "what is your dream?" "what is your plan?" "what do you want from life?". and its the worst not because I don't have an answer, but because no one really understands where I'm coming from when I say it. No one quite gets it, they laugh it off, they say "oh thats everyones dream". The answer has been the exact same since I was old enough to really understand what it meant to hold it. and old enough to know that I'll always get a laugh or a chuckle or a brush off the shoulder when I let it leave my mouth.

"I want nothing more in the world than to be happy one day."

and of course everyone wants that. and of course everyone says that. and of course that doesnt quite Answer Your Question The Way You Expected. But it speaks deeply and it speaks my entire existence into frame. Why doesn't anyone hear it and understand what it means to be nearly 30 and have such a basic need of a dying wish?

I get it. it sounds dramatic. it sounds pathetic. it sounds silly. it sounds laughable and it sounds like its not been well thought out. Sure. And maybe when I was 10 and said that, it was a bit moody. it was a bit edgy. it was a bit needy. And when I said it when I was 13 it continued to be a joke to everyone and i laughed along with you nervously. But by 17 I understood deeply that I had never been happy. The closest things I ever felt to happiness at 17 also tore me to pieces. and sure, no one is free from bad things. maybe im just not the right person to be doing what I was trying to do. thats okay. sure i can grow out of that awkward 17 year old frame and I did and I got older and i got bigger and i stood more confidently and i spoke more freely. I wasn't 17 anymore when I was 20. I thought I was better, everything pointed to a future and a possibility of being okay. but I got worse and I got worse fast. I was 21 and I beat my fists on my sink and i stared myself hard in the face. i couldn't see but I couldnt think either. i growled like i was steaming over and had no choice in the matter.

"I want nothing more in the world than to be happy one day."

im not so alone anymore and i dont feel my heart twang that awful awful pain quite as much. but my wish stays the same. and maybe thats my fault for making it so vague and so misunderstand-able (thats not a word is it? lol). but how can i even move past that to plan and to dream and to really hunger for progress when, at the very core of my body, at the very core of my being, i've wanted nothing more in the world than to be happy.

i really thought for so long that maybe happiness meant a person, but ive kind of always known thats probably not the case.

i want to be loved. i want to be known deeply. i want my company desired. i want my words to be welcomed. and i want to stop screaming to a void.

and again maybe thats my fault. maybe im so entrenched in my own mind that I can't let people in. but I'm still 4 years old crying for my mom. im still 13 on the carpet of my basement, begging for someone to hear me. im still 16 begging for people to give me their time and affection, not really knowing what the really really honestly meant to ask of your peers as a 16 year old. im still 17 holding back tears on the bus ride home, telling myself "its worth the pain to have a moment of being "wanted"." im still writing lyrics in my statuses in my head and im still hugging myself to feign a piece of tender company.

im deeply alone in myself, whether thats the truth of reality or not.

"I want nothing more in the world than to be happy one day."

it means everything but its laughable. thats just kind of me though, right? laughable entirely, lol

#sucktacular sucks #vent #death #suicide #self harm #existential dread #covid #might make this private later idk im embarrassed to post these anymore but also damn it do feel good to shout to a crowd not listening

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sunmoonjune · 2 years ago

Note

you requested song recs so song recs you will receive !! (i was typing this out yesterday and fell asleep midway idk wtf i was on but anyways 😭)

first of all i’d have to say sweet by cigarettes after sex (other than the suggestive lyrics) esp “but it’s the way you smile that does it for me” and “sweet knowing that i love you and running my fingers through your hair” - yeosang in chapter 10 when bug smiled for the first time and yeo was petting? stroking? her i’m :( brb gotta cry

and the “it’s so sweet knowing that you love me though we don’t need to say it to each other” REMINDS ME OF YUNHOOO I CANT 😭😭 AND!! “and i will gladly break my heart for you” that’s so SAN CODED

second song i’d have to say is here with me by d4vd “i don’t care how long it takes as long as i’m with you” THEM BEING SO PATIENT WITH BUG AND HER TRAUMAAAASJEHUWYEBKHHDI/£()*683;”)¥]{$\[…] “ save your tears it will be okay”?? i need a minute i can’t handle this

also idk if you like instrumentals (i personally obsess over instrumentals and think they are underrated!!) but i’d day bug and ateez give very snowfall by Oneheart and reidenshi it gives me very “i’m thinking about you everytime i’m not with you” and it makes me GFHUDNUSNDJSJE you know?

and this last one isn’t english it’s turkish but M. by Anıl Emre Daldal THE CALMING VIBES? IMMACULATE!! i listen to it at least 5 times a day it’s so soothing and the lyrics are so cute im :( “Your words, eyes, and hands only belong to me. My dreams, smiles, and daydreams only belong to you” AND ALSO “Please come back to me darling” yes that’s very ateez to bug imo very ateez to bug….

SO SO VERY EXCITED FOR THE NEW CHAPTER esp because it’s gonna be so long i can take a break from assignments and revision and just curl up and be in the feels SO EXCITED YAY!!

- 📚 (take care of yourself sleep well eat well!! mwah!)

omg 📚 anon come here I am going to kiss you <33

first of all,,, all of these song recs are IMMACULATE and they all swiftly got added to the bug playlist!! <3 I love you so much omfg

ok ok so I had two cigarettes after sex songs on one of my writing playlists already but they were sadder vibes so I was so excited to add this one!! and you're so right omfg this song is so ateez/bug coded (besides some of the suggestive stuff) the lines about smiling fit the yeobug moment from chapter ten :')) the way she smiles does do it for him omg I'll cry <33

'WE DON'T NEED TO SAY IT',, STOP THAT'S YUNBUG -- they never need words they love each other SO MUCH I'm sobbing

'I'll gladly break my heart for you' <33 choi san the man that you are <333 I need to give him a kiss directly on the forehead and tell him how much I love him I swear :'D

here with me fits them so good too :')) they're so patient and willing to wait as long as she needs omfg <3 also also the line "I can't describe, I wish I could live through every moment again" reminds me of bug too <33 she isn't always able to describe her emotions (like the butterflies in her stomach and such) but she loves the feeling regardless <33 ASJLASLJ I'm making myself blush here;;

I'M MAKING MYSELF EMOTIONAL OMFG D':

and I do like instrumentals!! I have quite a few of those on my playlists as well! most of them are soundtracks to movies that I emotionally attached myself too tho LMAO -- like there's a song from the death cure (maze runner series) that I liked when I was young and it still makes me cry :')) also for any of my satosugu/jjk fans,, 'this is pure love' still makes me sob to this day xD

snowfall is immaculate omfg I love the vibes!! it definitely does give 'I'm thinking about you when you're not here' and it makes me mushy inside <33 definitely makes me GGASFEJSJL for sure XD I love it

and I'm so fine with recs in other languages!! I'll listen to literally anything my music taste is all over the place xD -- ok but "I beg of you, come back, my darling" THAT'S SO WOOYOUNG AND ATEEZ IN THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS OMFG EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED D":

thank you thank you for these recs my love, they will definitely give me extra motivation to write <33 you're the best kiss kiss <3

and I'm so happy you guys are excited!! I swear I get your messages in my inbox and I kick my feet a lil cause your excitement makes me excited ya know? :D

also also I'm glad the new chapter can be a lil relief from studying and revising for exams!! I know the end of the year is coming up for a lot of ppl (or maybe that's just where I'm from idk :o ) and I definitely know how stressful that is :(( but I'm so so happy that this can be a little dopamine for those who need it xD <3

I hope you have a wonderful day my love <33 drink some water and eat well when you can! and take breaks from studying too!! I know you'll do so well I'm so proud of you hehe <33

#moonie speaks #moonie's anons #moonie's favs <3 #moonie's 📚 anon #like the moon #bug's playlist <3

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sailsinstorms · 2 years ago

Text

Legacy of the Girls - Part 5

Let's continue reading, shall we?

So Power Conservation Day finally ended, not long before HarvestFest ended. So I quickly had Molly toss together a grand meal. She still seems to dislike Radley even though they're literally having a conversation right now. And yes, you'd be right to notice that she's making something salmon based. And Radley is a vegetarian.

Molly: Time for dinner losers! Get the hell down here!

Radley: *notices Molly staring at her* Did you... is there fish in this? Molly: *nods slowly and stares* Radley was definitely sick after eating that. Poor kiddo. To be fair that's my fault. I forgot she was vegetarian.

So… in this scene we have a household bonding session watching some good old-fashioned Brokeback Mountain. And Radley and Molly bonding over their desire to either A) Beat each other up — or B) Beat up the lecherous perv staring through the window. I should really invest in some curtains…

I don't know what Loren was doing "at work" today. It must have been some kind of commercial. But she came home in this cute af space get-up. I love it. She looks so cool! She passed out not long after this photo, but it was worth it.

Since Winter is in the doctor career that requires me to go to work with her every now and again. So today, we're going to accompany Winter to the hospital. Let's go!

Winter: I'm so excited to be here! I love helping people! Nurse: Go vacuum the supply closet.

Winter: Flat foot Syndrome is very common in Sims. I'm sure we can fix you. Child: Really Miss? Winter: There's a mod for everything. <3

I don't know about you guys but the constant stream of patients lining up in the waiting room is a constant source of stress for me. It's literally impossible to get to them all, let alone treat them all, and I always feel bad for them.

Caught this kid taking selfies of his mad gunz while some perv checks him out. It's nice to know the drama continues at the hospital as well.

Meanwhile, back at the lot, Radley and Solar are on the same work schedules.

So they leave at the same time and finish at the same time and often get promoted at the same time. Whenever they get home together they're often miserable.

Molly is up to her usual mischief shenanigans. I always assume that whenever she's pranking the toilet she's just putting glad wrap across the bowl. At least the girls are constantly improving their handiness skills whenever a toilet malfunctions.

SOLAR! Seriously, who is this man!?

Oh my God! The Peeping Tom guy is watching Solar and her man through the window and beating one out at the same time! I should have invested in those curtains I always said I was going to get but never did!

I really need to do something about this guy!

Here's a little more of Loren practicing her acting skills. I love watching her do this. It's so cute.

Winter: Mya! Please baby, come down from up there? I'll give you treats and cuddles?!

These two adore each other. Winter loves no man more than she loves her feline friend <3

Since Winter is always studying medical related things and she's very ambitious she's often wanting to get focused or skill up. I love her thumbnail whenever she's focused. Almost as much as I love Loren's "scared" thumbnail.

AH YES! IT'S THE DAY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! WHERE IS THE SERIAL PEEPING OFFENDER!?

There he is, loitering at my back door.

Molly: Hey shithead! You're disgusting! Get off my lawn! Tom: It's a free neighborhood. I'll stand where I want! You don't have fences or curtains! Who's fault is that!?

Get 'im, Molly! Give him an uppercut! I don't know what wrestling moves are, but knock him out!

YEAH SHE WON! Atta girl! (I made her beat him up a few more times after this just to reaffirm their status as enemies)

Elsewhere, Loren is fighting random's in the street.

Loren: I can see that you're pregnant. So even though it's Neighourhood Brawl Day, I'm gonna let you walk away Miss Landgraab. Nancy: Thank you?

The next chapter is the Festival of Snow! *hearteyes*

Previous | Archive | Next

#sims4 #thesims #ts4 #sims legacy

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basilly · 3 years ago

Text

step 5: act normal . . . or not because you're stupid

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

↬ pairing: georgenotfound x gn!reader

↬ genre: friends to lovers | fluff to angst to fluff

↬ summary: y/n always kept their hands busy to calm their nerves. but after an unfortunate misplacement of their fidget cube leads to george lending them a hand . . . quite literally

↬ warnings: swearing, light angst, slow burn, stupidity

↬ note: here is the beginning of the angst ;)) and btw dream is also friends with y/n :D like their a good friend to the dreamteam like bbh

↬ edited by:

friday. movie night.

'just act normal- maybe they just forgot. . . or even worse, remembered.'

george paced his room, unsure how to even go about this. dream, his best friend might have just ruined his life. how was he supposed to calmly go through this movie night as if dream hasn't ruined his entire usual routine?

he groaned, dropping his head into his hands. this was the absolute last thing that he wanted. it felt like something was eating at his insides.

'screw you dream.'

he only had. . .

"TWO HOURS?? that's not enough time- oh my god WHY does this happen to me?"

he had to pull himself together. you were going to come over and movies last about. . . one to three hours.

"i can't do this, i can't- i just. i can't."

he picked up his phone, opening up your icon in his messages.

'should i just cancel? or-'

he bit his lip, knowing this was a bad idea. the blood begun to seep through, salty on his tongue. frantically, he began to type, ready to make up some lame excuse.

george:

typing . . .

at that moment, a gray message bubble appeared on his screen.

y/n:

george! im excited to see you- i have something you may like and i really wanted to show you!

his heart dropped to his stomach. how was he supposed to cancel on you now? you were so excited, he could feel it radiating from the screen. his thumb pressed on the backspace button, no longer able to send the message.

george:

cool see you at 8 then?

y/n:

yup!

---

"george! look what i found!" "ah- wow that's great y/n."

he felt absolutely horrible. you had walked in, all happily, snacks in hand. a large array of snacks he hadn't been able to find for weeks all for him and here he is unable to greet you properly. he shuffled awkwardly, letting you set down the snacks.

"you good george?" "hm?"

he finally looked up, making eye contact. your eyes swirled with concern. for once the air was awkward and you weren't sure what to do.

"yea i'm fine- just tired, that's all."

it was suspicious, george always slept for long hours and wasn't tired. you brushed it off, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"alright, let's get this movie night started!"

---

once settled in your spot on the couch, george stiffly sat down, a couple inches away from you.

odd.

the movie began to play, the screen brightness illuminating both of your faces in the dark. the sounds surrounded you, creating an immersed environment. per usual, you went and reached out your hand.

the moment your finger had touched his, george flinched hard.

"george??" "sorry you scared me- i was really into the movie."

he reluctantly placed his hands in yours. each little touch buzzed as you played with his hand, it felt like white fire onto his skin.

after a couple minutes, he got up. your only perched a silent eyebrow at him as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"i uh- i have to go to the bathroom." "o-ok?"

he quickly dashed to the bathoom, locking the door before leaning against the sink. he dropped his head downwards as his arms propped up up, the cool white china contrasting his fiery hot hands. thoughts filled his head, ones that made him cringe, flinch, and want to bury himself into a hole.

they must be so uncomfortable right now. . . it probably looks like i'm forcing them to continue. y/n must not want to say anything to me either.

he felt as there was absolutely no doubt you were uncomfortable. here you were, with the knowledge he hates holding hands.

---

you sat there, watching the movie go on. you couldn't even focus, all the colours on the screen blurring together. all your mind could think of is how absolutely odd george was acting.

a couple other thoughts stayed on the edge of your brain but were quickly brought into the mesh of it all.

did i make him uncomfortable? . . . dream did say that george hated holding hands- maybe i read the signs wrong. george probably hates this.

awkwardly shuffling around, you played with the hem of your jumper. in a split second decision, you reached for your bag, grabbing your back up fidget toy.

that was the first time in a while. the environment with the small clicks felt a little foreign to you now, you had forgotten how attached you got to using george's hands.

the bathroom door unlocked, revealing george. you turned away, seeming to be focused on the movie. before george sat down, his narrowed onto the clicking device in your hand.

they're using the fidget toy again. they're definitely uncomfortable, they haven't done that in months. good job george.

---

the rest of the movie was eyes glued on the screen, too guilt ridden from both sides to even glance at one another. no commentary was made, no laughter, only silent reactions.

the credits rolled, creating an awkward tinge in the air. you broke the silence first.

"that was a good movie, don't you think?" "yea..."

you pulled out your phone, looking at the time. you felt the urge to leave, thus piecing together a good enough excuse. you get up and off the couch, george's eyes briefly following your figure.

"i'm going to head out, i have to get up early tomorrow. see you later?" "yea- do you want me to walk you out?" "no it's alright." "okay."

and with that, you walked out. you couldn't let him walk out, not when you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

---

good job george. how are you going to fix this one?

taglist:

@dysfunctionalcrab @inniterhq @mitzimania @acidtabletz @yamturds @qnfs @bozowrites @moonamor @sunniewrites @socksarockin @willowsdemise @3nt1ty-g0t-l0st @lux-xen @tinyegg @aimeeisthecoolest @mintyminho @bambooforest @punzoquack @bugsbiteme @cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc @cherios @daninotfound @pxint @losingvienna @traumatizedladybug @julbees17 @oh-mcyt @flaming-flowers @thenotsohottopic @omnikinesisgobrrr @draxleclue @qvrls @basillyfanacc @dawnfallx @feral-boos @nobody-nobody-nobody12 @aikochan4859 @fantasy-innit @jamesdeerest @cl0udy-grey @fairycomplexxx @approoved @my-name-is-milk @heynihachu @othandaisy906 @torpedo--belly @katevaro @moonfaer @skittles-1312 @bergandysam @seraphine1031 @natistew @angstyx @filmbarnes @zain0ob @blanknamed

#georgenotfound x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #georgenotfound fluff #georgenotfound fanfic #georgenotfound imagine #georgenotfound blurb #mcyt fluff #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt fanfic #mcyt fic #dream smp fluff #dream smp fic #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp fanfic #holding hands for dummies #basilly

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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12 Anti LO Asks

1. its victim blaming of hades to tell minthe its HER fault she "couldnt get over him". like? you lied to her! youre the one who blurred the lines to date her! you were just as toxic to her if not more so by controlling where she lives and her job, all while never defending her to your cruel family! you had all the power over her while she had nothing! you dumped her for a 19 year old and dont care she crippled minthe! i wont excuse minthe's actions, but hades is ultimately the worse of the two IMO

2. you know why fans claimed "Minthe should've reacted better"? since the first episode Rachel has been drilling into their heads Minthe is an irredeemable monster, and her not bending over backwards to H/P means she deserves the absolute worst. Minthe reacting how anyone logically would doesn't matter when LO is designed to coddle H/P, and anyone against them must suffer for it, even if the victim to H/P's actions. they never wanted her to be "redeemed", they want her head on a silver platter.

3. i know this is not what she intended bc the only characterization rachel has of hxp is "the best over everything" but uh, does she know having hades control all the petroleum and gasses and whatever else is actively destroying the planet, right? like hes helping the very thing persephone draws her power from and what she's connected to be destroyed to appease hes need for wealth and power. its kinda gross hes being romanticized while he commits horrible acts like this for his bank account.

4. its not impossible to go opposite in their original myth personalities and still have it work. like in hades game, sisyphus is one of the most likable characters, achilles is gentle and kind, ares is calm and rational, etc, but it makes sense within the context of the story. LO in comparison goes "all these loving mothers are evil because i said so! this beloved god is now evil because i said so! minthe is evil because i said so!" and that's about it in terms of logic to these wild changes.

5. I can kinda get behind anon's theory about the flower nymphs looking like P to help her be undetected, the problem is there are also unrelated women in comic who are bright pink and look just like her, with hades even confusing them for her! if i had to bet the only reason they look like that is because rachel just wanted daphne to look like her to hammer home apollo is "obsessed" with P and to fake them as her "real family" over demeter. also just laziness in designing characters in general.

6. its weird hades and persephone are well aware what they're doing is bad even openly admitting it and yet the narrative is so hellbent on excusing their bad actions?? like hades being the major toxic factor in his relationship to minthe, persephone killing people, or hades wanting to bone an eternal 19 year old? like rachel you know thats not how character growth works, right? you cant show they have horrible flaws and leave them to never grow and learn from it, that's not good writing at all.

7. what i also dont get is the hierarchy makes no sense? like zeus is framed as the top god, but that would mean hades cant be the most important man ever so rachel also made him equal rank with zeus (and i guess poseidon too) so?? how does zeus have all that power over them then if theyre all equal? is it because zeus swallowed metis? also how are the fertility goddess so powerful and rare yet so easily taken down? how are they overpowered and super weak at the same time? i just dont get it.

8. Re reading chapter 144 and other anon is right we do see the pomegranate pin on Hades outfit (so Hades gifts it to her)

But also some things to note

During the makeout session persy begins to disappear in butterfly form and hades is like "no don't leave!" And he grabs her, preventing her from leaving. Which is..kinda Ick considering they were on their way to having (public) sex and he doesn't want her to leave which seems like he's not really respecting her boundaries? (because if she does he'll "be lonely")

The pomegranate pin is Hades' to begin with so technically one of Persephones symbols is not hers (yes I know in the original myth she ate it in the underworld / was forced to eat it but still its supposed to be her symbol)

Hades notes that he "doesn't want to overstep his boundaries as host" because Persephone is a guest (too late for that)

Persephones main concern (after what a week or 2?) after being raped is when Hades wants to stop her reaction is "dont you want me anymore?"

Girl you aren't even dating ...??

Persy's literal one and only concern is that she thinks if she doesnt sleep with Hades right then or when/if he wants to that "she wont be able to give him what hes used to" ... Which is reinforcing that she went to therapy to get "over being blocked" in regards to having sex

Although Hades does mention that she shouldn't feel like she needs to please him and that a kiss can just be a kiss which would be nice

(And yet his thinking of marrying her amd he's known her for 2, 3 weeks? ... And he says "the beginning of a new relationship is exciting and scary" so hes basically indicating thay their dating at this point, I think?)

And later the nymphs in the store are like "do you wanna be the dominatrix of the bedroom?? Buy this lingerie!" And persy does. So??

Meanwhile Demeter is very worried for her daughter who is busy sitting in Hades lap in a pool.

9. Can we talk about how anons are making fucking flow charts for the LO Timeline cause it's so ridiculously jumbled?

10. im not even against rushed relationships, ive known actual couples who met and were married all within the same year and it worked out great, the difference though is these were people who had their own lives and previous relationships. the issue with LO is RS designed it so Persephone can NEVER have relationships or a life outside of Hades, and if they did get married offscreen, it's framing their marriage in a toxic and unbalanced light. That's not a romance, it's a disaster waiting to happen.

11. i feel like there's a difference between drawing an interesting hooked/aquiline nose versus whatever the hell RS puts on Hades' face. It honestly looks like he's in between morphing into a bird half the time since it just looks like a beak over an actual facial feature.

12. are there shareholders or a board of advisors or something at underworld corp? because if there is id say they have more than enough reason to kick hades out and strip him of his titles/shares because of all the shit he's caused by being guided by his broken pp over thinking with his head. liking dating TWO employees? and getting one of them phsyically crippled by the other bc he can't be honest with either of them and she's a walking time bomb? he's a walking HR nightmare.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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cassyapper · 3 years ago

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anyway i swear to everyone who’s reading this im working on wwm/ta im sorry this latest chapter is taking so long. i’m still just as invested in and excited for it as i was when i started it, im definitely going to finish it, it’s not a problem at this point of losing interest or steam, im just literally on the ground doing lab work and collecting specimens from 7 am to 5 pm five days a week in between studying for midterms/finals i feel like i cant physically write between eating and personal hygeine and sleep. but im working on it please dont give up on me

#i feel so fucking bad dude #please i hope no one thinks ive lost interest in the story #that's not it at all im just so busy rn #bt im working on it i swear. i love this story i want to tell it #i know it's hard to ask but please be patient with me kkkjfk;fbdhs #wwm/ta updates

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booksfromblackwood · 4 years ago

Text

Is anyone still around in this fandom? If so, I thought I’d post the first chapter of an old fic that I re-wrote last year! Let me know if anyone’s still around, and if you’d be interested in reading more! Hope everyone reading this has a great day! :)

Han has left the chat.

Three Days Before The Disappearance

.Sam.Giddings. added josh_wash, ashleeeeey, xXGamerChrisXx, TheOriginalMatt, HanButterfly, BethWash, Mike_Munroe, EmilyD_, and _Jess.Riley_ to the chat.

.Sam.Giddings. named the chat Info For Tomorrow.

.Sam.Giddings.: Hey guys! Just to keep everyone updated on our travel plans for tomorrow! I know it's going to be a long day for everyone so it's vital we stick to the plan and stay in our groups where possible!

ashleeeeey: Okie-doodle!!

TheOriginalMatt: How are you so organised, Sam? You're a lifesaver!

HanButterfly: Hi!!

BethWash: trust sam to be more prepared than those of us organising the trip lol

xXGamerChrisXx: Since when was 'okie-doodle' a thing?

EmilyD_: Thanks Sam x

xXGamerChrisXx: And thanks so much, sam!

.Sam.Giddings.: So quick reminder of everyone's groups:

_Jess.Riley_: I'm stoked!!

ashleeeeey: That's rich coming from someone whose username is xXGamerChrisXx! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash, Chris, Matt, and myself will start the journey first tomorrow morning.

xXGamerChrisXx: You wound me!

Mike_Munroe: Thanks for the plan, Sam!

TheOriginalMatt: Excited to see everyone tomorrow! This is going to be a killer weekend for sure!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Em, Mike, and Jess, you guys are next.

ashleeeeey: You're so dramatic!! XD

Mike_Munroe: Team Two here we go!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Made you smile, though! ;-)

josh_wash: what about us

.Sam.Giddings.: I'm just getting to that!

ashleeeeey: True :)

xXGamerChrisXx: You guys are already there and are therefore irrelevant! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Han, Beth, and Josh, you guys are there already!

josh_wash: thanks cochise i feel so appreciated

BethWash: lol thanks chris

Mike_Munroe: So, what are we all up to?

BethWash: i found cake

xXGamerChrisXx: Browsing reddit like a nerd XD

ashleeeeey: Listening to Sam's rundown of tomorrow unlike sOmE pEoPlE *coughcoughChris*

EmilyD_: Honestly just packing my final things with Jess. Mike's mostly watching the TV.

xXGamerChrisXx: :-(

.Sam.Giddings.: So, tonight we should all make sure our bags are packed and that we have our passports and tickets ready!! Set your alarms for the right times (depending on your group) and make sure to sleep early too (especially if you're in my group since tomorrow will be an early start for us)!

ashleeeeey: :)

TheOriginalMatt: 5am gang where we AT?

HanButterfly: Beth where are you rn? Because I want some of that cake!!

.Sam.Giddings.: So Team One (myself, Chris, Ash, and Matt), we need to be up by 5:00am and be ready by 5:30am for the taxi to the airport!! Matt and Chris, yours is going to be at Chris' place at 5:24 for some reason so make sure to be ready!!

BethWash: the lodge kitchen bcos where else would there be cake han lol

.Sam.Giddings.: We'll meet up at the airport when we arrive! Once we re-group, we'll check in, probably eat some breakfast whilst we wait, and then catch the 8:30 plane!!

TheOriginalMatt: Sweet!

ashleeeeey: Can't wait! :)

josh_wash: yo matt you surviving the puns

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two - you guys don't have to be up until around 9:00am since your taxi is at 9:20 and then your plane is at 11:30!

HanButterfly: Josh would you like me to save you some cake before we eat it all? :)

EmilyD_: We'll need a little longer than 20 minutes to all get ready but sure x

TheOriginalMatt: Just about! Myself and Chris have mostly been playing on his PS4 so I've been distracting myself with that! XD

josh_wash: yes please!

josh_wash: i feel for ya bro, a whole evening with chris' puns can prove fatal

josh_wash: you die of cringe

Mike_Munroe: Poor ol' Chris XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Once we arrive and get our bags, we need to catch the 2:30pm train and then the 4:20 bus! After that we have to take the 5:40 bus (I sent you guys screenshots of the route yesterday) and get off at Blackwood Pines ready for our hike up the mountain (with a little help from the cable car, of course)!

xXGamerChrisXx: I'm being BULLIED guys :(

ashleeeeey: Aw, poor Chris! :P

josh_wash: jk XD

TheOriginalMatt: I like how Sam's still here typing all we need to know whilst we're talking about cake and puns XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two, you guys need to catch either the 5:30pm or the 6:00pm train depending on when your stuff arrives. After that you'll need to get the 7:50 bus and then the 8:40 bus to Blackwood Pines (you have to specify you want it to stop there or the driver won't stop) before you head up. Remember to lock the cable car station once you get in, Mike!

josh_wash: oh gosh tHE CAKE

Mike_Munroe: Gotcha' Sam!

HanButterfly: No worries, Josh! I managed to save most of it from Beth!

BethWash: rip my chance at a third slice of cake

_Jess.Riley_: Really, thanks Sam! We're all packed and ready to go! Xx

HanButterfly: It's really going to be such an awesome weekend! I can't wait :D

ashleeeeey: Thank you so much for inviting me! I've never been on something like this before!! :D

TheOriginalMatt: Yeah, thank you so much guys! I can't wait either, Han!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Have we got rooms sorted out for the lodge, guys?

BethWash: ash take the plans away from sam so she can have time to relax lol

EmilyD_: I'm with Mike in the room away from everyone like agreed right x

ashleeeeey: I'm trying but she won't let me! XD

HanButterfly: I mean if needs be we can sort out rooms once we're here! If not maybe we just sort out the first night rooms since it'll be fairly late when everyone arrives and then we can adjust them as needed as the trip goes on!

BethWash: lol poor sam will be up all night organising at this rate

.Sam.Giddings.: Sounds good, Han!

Mike_Munroe: Great idea, Hannah!

BethWash: em, yours and mike's room (upstairs guest) may not be ready first night so is it possible for you to share a room with jess til we get a chance to sort it out tomorrow?

EmilyD_: That's fine, hon. Thank you again for the trip and for letting us use the upstairs guest room x

josh_wash: how about for the first night emily and jess share beth's room and then beth sam and han go in hannah's room

josh_wash: mike can go to the small room downstairs if he's alright w/ that and matt can room w/ me

xXGamerChrisXx: Yo dude you forgot ash

ashleeeeey: It's alright, Chris! I can find somewhere!

EmilyD_: Ash you're honestly lovely but I'd kinda' like to be with either Jess or Mike if that's alright xx

ashleeeeey: No problem, Emily! I wouldn't want to intrude! :)

EmilyD_: Knew you'd understand xx

josh_wash: why dont you and ash share a room cochise

xXGamerChrisXx: I thought I was rooming with you and matt?

josh_wash: bro please just think for a minute here

ashleeeeey: I'm not sure.

xXGamerChrisXx: Beth, han, and sam, is there any room with you guys?

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry to be a bother!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Of course you can room with us, Ash! We'd love to have you with us! :)

BethWash: im with sam

HanButterfly: Of course!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Thank you to the only valid washington kids right now!

josh_wash: -_-

xXGamerChrisXx: I see what you're doing, josh. ha ha, we've had our laugh, now please stop before this weekend.

Mike_Munroe: Rough subject, huh?

josh_wash: bro chill you know i was just joking

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry!! Please don't get upset with each other!

xXGamerChrisXx: No ash it's alright! i promise i'm not actually mad! :-)

josh_wash: he acts mad over text to get his point across but he literally just sits there with a blank expression irl XD

TheOriginalMatt: Is Sam still there, Ash? Haven't heard from her in a while!

TheOriginalMatt: Gotta check up on my plane buddy for tomorrow!!

_Jess.Riley_: Did you guys get window seats or middle isle seats? I got a middle isle and the others got a window!

BethWash: she hasn't drowned in her notes has she lol

TheOriginalMatt: We got two sets of window seats! Though I don't know which of us is actually going to be at the window and which one will be window isle!

ashleeeeey: She's just brushing her teeth! Her mom came in and brought us a load of vegan snacks for the trip tomorrow and now I'm even more excited!!

ashleeeeey: Speaking of which, I'm probably going to head to sleep in a minute! Though I'm not sure how much I'll actually get since I'm so excited!!! :)

xXGamerChrisXx: Sleep well, ash. see you in the morning :-)

ashleeeeey: Night, Chris :)

ashleeeeey has left the chat.

_Jess.Riley_: Well that was cute!

xXGamerChrisXx: People say goodnight to eachother! that's a normal human interaction!

_Jess.Riley_: You know full well it's cute when it's you two

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash told me she logged out so I came to say goodnight!

josh_wash: w/ jess on this one bro

HanButterfly: Goodnight, Sam!

BethWash: night sam!

josh_wash: dont let the bedbugs bite!

TheOriginalMatt: See you bright and early tomorrow!!

.Sam.Giddings.: See you at the airport/lodge, guys!

xXGamerChrisXx: Night!

.Sam.Giddings. has left the chat.

BethWash: its cute because you like eachother chris

xXGamerChrisXx has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Aww, don't tease the poor guy!

TheOriginalMatt: Chris says goodnight, as do I! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

BethWash: night guys!

TheOriginalMatt has left the chat.

josh_wash: night!

Mike_Munroe: Make sure to save me a slice of that cake, Han! I gtg!

Mike_Munroe has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Goodnight Mike :)

EmilyD_: We'd best be off too. See you all in the morning.

_Jess.Riley_: Night x

EmilyD_ has left the chat.

BethWash: night

HanButterfly: Goodnight x

josh_wash: night xxxxxxyzqvp

_Jess.Riley_: Ha ha, very funny. Get that one from Chris?

josh_wash: lol night

_Jess.Riley_ has left the chat.

BethWash: PLEASE can i have some more cake, han?

josh_wash: you guys can literally just talk if you wanted

HanButterfly: Nope! Gotta' save some for Mike~

BethWash: you wont shut up about that for the rest of the evening now, will you?

BethWash: lol

HanButterfly: :P

josh_wash: you guys gossip in the kitchen

josh_wash: imma head to bed

BethWash: night bro

HanButterfly: Sleep well!

josh_wash has left the chat.

BethWash: please?

HanButterfly: No :P

BethWash: ugh night sis

HanButterfly: Night, Beth! XD

BethWash has left the chat.

HanButterfly has left the chat.

#until dawn #chrashley #until dawn chris #until dawn ashley #until dawn sam #until dawn josh #until dawn matt #until dawn emily #until dawn mike #until dawn jessica #pre-game #I’ve forgotten how to tag #Let me know if anyone is still in this fandom!

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 4 years ago

Text

Eccentricity [Chapter 5: I’ve Lived The Life And Paid For Every Crime]

Series Summary: Joe Mazzello is a nice guy with a weird family. A VERY weird family. They have a secret, and you have a choice to make. Potentially a better love story than Twilight.

Chapter Title Is A Lyric From: Some Kind Of Disaster by All Time Low.

Chapter Warnings: Language, references to drugs and violence.

Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE

Tagging: @queen-turtle-boiii @bramblesforbreakfast @writerxinthedark @maggieroseevans @culturefiendtrashqueen @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @escabell @im-an-adult-ish @someforeigntragedy @imtheinvisiblequeen @deacyblues @tensecondvacation @brianssixpence @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @some-major-ishues @haileymorelikestupid @loveandbeloved29

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! 💜

Easy Questions, Evasive Answers

“So it was nothing,” Archer said, glancing up from where he was tinkering around beneath the hood of my 1999 Honda Accord, checking hoses and belts and dipsticks. “This is pathetic, by the way. That you can’t change your own windshield wiper fluid. Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow.”

“I never had my own car in Phoenix!” I objected around a mouthful of a Starbucks pumpkin muffin, my first of the season. And that was true: Renee and I couldn’t afford one. “I didn’t have to learn about car things!”

“No, it’s great, I love it, I have a customer for life.”

“It was totally nothing,” I told him. Meaning the photograph in the newspaper article from 1979. Meaning my paranoia surrounding beautiful, brooding, certifiably lethal Benjamin Lee.

Not Lee, I reminded myself. Benjamin August Hardy, born November 3rd 1893.

“Was it really?” Archer asked, skeptical.

“Uhhh, you were the one who was making fun of me for thinking he might be a time traveler. Or a bigfoot.” Or a vampire.

“Yeah, okay, true...” He let the hood of the Honda fall shut with a bang, then wiped the muddy streaks of motor oil from his hands with a stained rag. “But you were freaked out. Like super freaked out.”

“I was, yeah. But it wasn’t him in the photo. I took another look, there were freckles and, uh, like, uh, some other things that didn’t match up.”

“Huh.” Archer watched me with an expression I couldn’t read. “I didn’t notice that.”

“Ben laughed about it. Probably thinks I’m an idiot. A stalker and an idiot.”

Archer smirked slyly. “He must not have held it against you too much. I’ve never seen that guy laugh in my life.”

I took a moody bite of my muffin, rolled my eyes, feigned shallow schoolgirl angst. “Trust me, he’s not my biggest fan.”

“Ohhhh, and this bothers you?” Archer sauntered over and stole a crumbling hunk out of the pumpkin muffin. “Does someone have a little crush on the gorgeous, grouchiest Lee?”

“Definitely not.” I sipped my chai latte, contemplative, debating telling him more.

“Uh oh. There’s something else, I can see it. Spill the tea, you walking college-chick-who’s-obsessed-with-fall stereotype.”

“I’m so excited! I’m going to get to see changing leaves this year!” Cacti are majestic, ancient, intrepid, and they remind me of home; but they never change. They’re like desert earth that way, like the ocean. Like vampires, actually.

“We’ll have to do all the Instagram-worthy stuff. Pumpkin patches. Hay mazes. Apple picking...you can even bring that Ben guy if you want to. If he promises not to murder me with his mysterious time-travelling demon powers.”

Oh, kid, you have no idea. “So...I am kind of into a Lee guy. But it’s not Ben.”

Archer gasped, inhaled pumpkin muffin morsels, bent over as he hacked them out of his lungs. “Who?!” he rasped, scandalized, and then coughed again.

I couldn’t help but smile as his name spilled out: “Joe.”

“Which one is that? The Middle Eastern Men’s Vogue model one?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No, not Rami. He has a girlfriend, by the way.” And has for the past half a century.

Archer wiggled his eyebrows. “Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.”

“Oh my god, please never say that phrase again.”

“Joe is the...” He closed his eyes as he drummed his fingers against the metal workbench, trying to remember.

“The Italian one,” I finished for him.

“Ahhh. The annoying one.”

“He is not annoying! Why do people keep saying he’s annoying?! He’s hilarious, and sweet, and lowkey wicked smart, and, and, and...”

Archer whistled, grinning, his dark eyes sparkling. “Damn, girl. You do like him. You really like him.”

I sighed in defeat. “Okay. I really, really like him.”

“Like him as in would swipe right on Tinder, or like him as in you want to get married and honeymoon in Hawaii and have twelve pasty, angular babies?”

“Oh wow.” And for the first time, I was confronted with the singular enigma that was a future with Joe. Vampires had relationships with other vampires, obviously, even marriages; but that didn’t mean the same rules applied to humans. Did he like me? Could he like me? What would that even look like? How would it end? And it would have to end, of course, eventually. Unless somehow I stopped aging too. “More than just a right swipe. We’ll see about the twelve kids.”

“Just make sure he wraps it before he taps it. I’m too young to be an uncle.”

“Stop,” I pleaded, gulping down my latte, averting my gaze across Archer’s small garage filled with customers’ vehicles, pretending not to be intrigued and yearning and petrified. I couldn’t imagine hooking up with someone as faultless and—presumably—experienced as Joe and being anything but a disappointment. I’ve never hooked up with anyone. At all. Ever.

“What?” he asked, concerned, thieving another piece of my pumpkin muffin. Powdered sugar dusted his fingers like the snow I’ve only seen two or three times in my life.

“Nothing. I just really wish you went to Calawah too.”

“And give up all this easy money from clueless suburbs people like you?” Archer beamed, wily and proud and affectionate. “Not a fucking chance.”

No More Sad Spaghetti

Joe gawked in horror, chomping noisily on his Big League Chew bubblegum, as I unwrapped the peanut butter sandwich I’d packed for lunch. It was mostly cloudy in the early September sky overhead, but he was still wearing sunglasses. He had traded in his ubiquitous U Chicago apparel for a Cubs t-shirt. Squirrels scurried through the bigleaf maple trees that dotted the campus, snatching up acorns with tiny clawed paws, wriggling whiskered noses in our direction.

“What’s your problem?” I asked, taking a bite. “It’s not sad spaghetti.”

He blew a small pink bubble, then popped it with his teeth. “Yeah, but it’s...like...mangled.”

“It got trapped between my textbooks!” I protested. Admittedly, the accordion-shaped peanut butter sandwich—my vegetarian alternative to fishstick Thursday—kind of sucked.

“You can’t eat that. Oh my god. It’s making me so sad. Give it to the squirrels.” Joe pulled out his iPhone. “What’s your preferred pizza topping?”

“I can’t tell you,” I replied, tossing my sandwich towards the nearest tree. A hoard of squirrels immediately descended upon it and proceeded to battle for dominance, emitting shrill, peanut-butter-crazed shrieks.

His brow furrowed. “Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because you might not like me anymore.”

“Why would I not like you because of pizza...?” And then he knew. “Oh no, oh god, please don’t say pineapple.”

“I’m a pineapple pizza person.”

“Baby Swan,” Joe said, deadly serious, pressing his palms together. “That is straight up sacrilegious. You can’t put tropical fruit on a pizza. You realize I’m Italian, like an actual Italian. I’m so Italian I’ve killed other Italians for being the wrong kind of Italian. That’s how Italian I am.”

“I feel like maybe I shouldn’t socialize with literal mobsters. It’s unsavory.”

“Settle down, I’m ordering the half-pineapple pizza, you freaking barbarian.”

I watched Joe as he tapped his thumbs against the screen, humming to himself, amused, perpetually buoyant. And I couldn’t picture him as a monster, as a killer: pulling triggers, slitting throats, digging blades into soft vulnerable love handles, feeling for the mortal puncture of a lung or kidney. I asked him, my voice quiet, hesitant, almost lost in the autumn wind: “Did you actually hurt people?”

“Nah. I didn’t have the stomach for it, even back then. I was on the deal-making side of things. The business side. I was a people person, a smooth talker, astronomically charming.”

I smiled, mischievous. “That’s difficult to imagine.”

“Okay, so no cheesy breadsticks for you.”

“I’m sorry, mob guy. Please order the breadsticks. You’re so charming I can’t stand it. My jeans are unzipping all by themselves.”

He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “So you’ll sacrifice your dignity for breadsticks. Good to know.” He finished typing and laid his iPhone on the grass. “Alright, next question.”

“Does your hair grow?” Joe’s hair—I couldn’t help but notice—seemed longer than it was the day I met him a week and a half ago, disorderly and auburn-tinted, ruffling in the breeze.

“It does, yeah. Hair and nails still grow. So you have to shave, but you can’t get razor burn. And any nicks close right up.”

“Very cool. How often do you need to eat? You know...actually eat.”

“It varies, but generally twice a week.”

“And what kind of animal has the tastiest blood? Besides...well...” I gestured towards myself. “The upright two-legged kind with opposable thumbs and a partiality for pineapple pizza.”

He blew another bubble, then leaned in towards me. And I realized, for the first time, that he had his own inherent, exclusive, totally Bath-And-Body-Works-worthy scent as well; Dr. Gwilym Lee was sandalwood and campfires and log cabins, Mercy was roses and vanilla...and Joe was pine trees, peppermint, cold night air, like all of that eternally youthful magic of Christmas Eve sieved into a bottle. I popped the sheer pink bubble with the cap of my blue pen. Joe asked: “Do humans like chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Coffee or tea? Baseball or something hella lame?”

“Depends on the human.”

“Exactly. Same deal for vampires. I prefer bears, especially grizzlies. Lucy and Mercy like deer, elk, moose, animals like that. Ones with hooves. Weirdly, Rami’s favorite is crocodile, I think because it was the first thing he ever tried in Egypt. He doesn’t get it very often, but has been known to buy them on the black market on occasion. Scarlett likes mountain lions. Also domestic cats, but you didn’t hear that from me. Gwil is a wolf guy, but he won’t kill the endangered kinds. Such a gentleman.”

“How about Ben?”

“Ben’s still coming around to the whole eating animals thing. I don’t think he has a favorite yet.”

Joe isn’t a killer, and he never was; I could believe that. But Ben... “Why is he so different than the rest of you?”

“That’s...kind of a long story,” Joe replied carefully.

“It wouldn’t be such a long story if people stopped talking about how it’s a long story and actually told it to me.”

He flashed a grin, revealing white canine teeth filed into points; they were subtle, yes, but they were there. Fangs. I envisioned pressing a fingerprint against them and feeling the flesh split in two, the blood dripping down onto his tongue like Washington rain. And unlike Joe’s skin, mine wouldn’t knit back together on its own. “But then I wouldn’t have the pleasure of tormenting you with the prospect of incredibly juicy yet confidential information!”

I rolled my eyes, sipped my can of Diet Coke, returned my attention to our lunch plans. “So garlic doesn’t repel you. That part of the lore is completely made up.”

“Yup. Thank god. Eternal life would be worthless without pizza.”

“Can you do drugs? Get drunk?”

“We can’t overdose, but we can get the effects of anything we consume. It’s not a good habit to get into though. If you’re nodding on heroin for like four days at a time, it’s pretty easy for some other vampire to find and murder you.”

“So a vampire can be killed by another vampire.”

“Absolutely. Next question.”

I consulted my mental list. “Do you sleep?”

“Yeah. Well, kind of. We nap for a few hours a day.”

“What happens if you don’t?”

“We get bitchy. Really bitchy. We essentially turn into Ben.”

I laughed, chewing absentmindedly on the end of my pen. “So that’s his problem. He hasn’t napped in a century. Now it all makes sense.”

“Something like that,” Joe said. “You gonna come over tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to present The Walruses And Me tomorrow and I still haven’t started the book.”

“What do you know, I can tell you all about The Walruses And Me!”

“Seriously? You’ve read it?”

“No, but I can enthusiastically narrate the Wikipedia article to you while you pet Mercy’s alpacas.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

“Terrible for your grade in Marine Mammals. Good for your development as an interesting and happy human.”

“Nice try, but I’m already both of those things.”

Joe reached out suddenly, jarringly, and ran the back of his hand across my cheek. My favorite Lee, I thought, thoroughly transfixed but trying to hide it. Oh no. “Interesting, definitely. But I have this gnawing, distressing suspicion that you’re still working on the happy part.”

“I miss the desert,” I confessed. That wasn’t quite all of the problem, but it was accurate: I missed the heat, the sun, the parched prehistoric air I had always called home. Although I was beginning to find reasons to like Forks, Charlie and Archer and the promise of a Pacific Northwestern autumn; and then one big reason in particular. A very old, pale, chatty, Italian reason.

“A bit of a quandary for a future marine biologist,” he replied gently, perhaps apprehensively.

“I always figured I’d live somewhere like San Diego or Los Angeles or Galveston. Someplace on the ocean, but also sunny and hot and with palm trees. The best of both worlds. But you couldn’t go there with me, could you?”

Oh no.

Oh NO.

Oh fuck, this is definitely a crushing-on-Lee-boys zone.

Joe stared at me through his sunglasses, chomping on his Big League Chew, the corners of his mouth turned up and etching lines like parentheses into his face, pleased and nodding slowly and triumphant somehow. Then he struck out his hand again, this time with his pinky raised like a flagpole. “No more pathetic depressing lunches.”

“You got it. No more sad spaghetti. No more sad peanut butter sandwiches. You have my solemn, human vow.”

He smiled as his pinky entwined with mine. “No more sad anything.”

“So this vampire thing sounds like a pretty sweet gig. No dying, no consequences for a hellacious diet or wild condomless orgies, literal superpowers, perfect hair...why doesn’t everyone get to live that way?”

He shrugged; and there was an unfamiliar, meditative tension in his face. Almost sorrow. “It’s not all pizza and orgies and heroin. We have weaknesses too.”

“Like what?”

“Hey, look!” Joe piped cheerfully, twisting around towards the parking lot. “I think our GrubHub guy is here.”

Bad Blood

I was definitely regretting that fourth slice of pineapple pizza as I waddled into Chemistry, navigating sluggishly around the hulking frat boys and giggling sorority girls and mousy bookish types who lugged around colossal backpacks that were always threatening to knock an unsuspecting passerby off their feet at each unthinking turn. But while I was arriving in the classroom—physically, anyway; emotionally I was standing in an empty field somewhere screaming I cannot be falling in love with a hundred-year-old mobster vampire!! into the void—Ben was a countercurrent darting through the crowds and towards the hallway door.

“Where are you rushing off to, old guy?” I asked him. “Bingo? To renew your AARP membership? To walk vigorously around the inside of a mall?”

Ben responded in that deep, low, humorless voice. “They’re doing some kind of blood typing experiment today. I probably shouldn’t be around for that.”

“Oh.” I glanced over at Professor Belvin, who was indeed hunched over the table at the front of the classroom and laying out rows of Q-tips and rectangular paper cards and alcohol swabs and bottles of clear liquid, whistling what sounded like Time Of The Season.

Ben sighed irritably, rubbing his crinkled forehead. “I already used up all my absences. I’m gonna have to make up a compelling last-minute tragedy. Tell Professor Belvin my grandma died or something.”

“I mean, technically, she did at some point.”

“Ugh,” Ben replied, not consoled at all.

“Wait, I got this.”

I gripped my belly, sank into the nearest chair, and groaned dramatically. It really didn’t require all that much acting. Ben watched with huge green eyes, confounded.

“Miss Swan!” Professor Belvin cried, rushing over. He was wearing khaki pants, a white shirt, and suspenders and a matching bowtie patterned with bubbling multicolored test tubes. Belvin had been Charlie’s classmate from kindergarten through high school, and still palled around with him over Bud Lights and low-quality nachos on bowling league nights. Bowling was, evidently, the sport of choice for middle-aged Forks dads. Also for Welsh vampire pseudo-dads born in the 1400s.

I whimpered in reply.

“Are you alright, Miss Swan?” Professor Belvin asked worriedly. A few students had begun to congregate around the scene. I felt a pang of genuine nausea as perspiration beaded at my temples. You better appreciate this, Mr. Hardy.

“I’m okay,” I said, in my most pained and martyrish voice. “I don’t want to miss...today’s lesson...it looks so fascinating...but I didn’t wash my kale thoroughly last night and then I had a salad for dinner and now I might have food poisoning.”

“You poor thing!” Belvin exclaimed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about class. You can just answer some textbook questions or something, no problem. Please go get checked out to make sure you’re alright.”

“Could someone...maybe...help me get to the campus clinic...?” My eyes listed towards Ben. “Maybe...my lab partner?”

“That’s a good idea.” Professor Belvin turned to Ben. “Mr. Lee, would you be willing to escort Miss Swan to the clinic? You can do an alternative assignment as well. If you don’t mind missing the blood typing lab.”

“I’d be delighted to help,” Ben responded, still puzzled. I offered him my hand, and Ben took it, grimacing as he led me out into the hallway. As soon as we were alone, he dropped my hand and opened up several feet of space between us.

“Thanks so much, Miss Swan, you are a lifesaver,” I said, imitating his morose, rumbling British accent. “Oh, you’re very welcome, Ben. You can repay me in basic courteous conversation and Starbucks gift cards and by maybe not killing me.”

“So you’re totally fine?” Ben asked flatly.

“Of course. Nobody with taste eats raw kale.”

Frowning, frustrated, he started puffing on his vape pen. “You need to stop doing nice things for me. It’s extremely disorienting.”

“This may be difficult for you to come to terms with, but you, Ben Hardy, are worth being the recipient of nice things.”

“No, you still don’t get it,” he snapped, grabbing my wrist, spinning me around to face him in the empty hallway. “That’s all I’ve ever done. Kill people like you.”

The Fire

“Who is the cutest little alpaca I’ve ever seen?!” I cooed in a squeaky falsetto, scratching her wooly brown chin. “Who’s going to come home and live with me and Charlie forever?!”

“That’s illegal, ma’am.” Joe was watching me, arms crossed over his Chicago Cubs t-shirt, smiling wistfully.

“It is not!”

“It actually is,” Rami added. He was lying on the grass and gazing up into the roiling, grey, late-afternoon clouds with his fingers laced behind his black hair. None of the Lees were wearing sunglasses now. “A house has to be zoned as farmland to have alpacas, which ours is. Yours, tragically, is not.”

“What are you, a lawyer?” I shot back.

Rami grinned. “I was once. And I will be again, in approximately...let me count...five years.”

“That’s what you want to do with your boundless time and energy? Be a corporate shill?”

Joe cackled. “He tried that already. It lasted about five minutes.”

“Manhattan in the 1980s,” Rami reminisced dreamily. “Hundred-hour workweeks. Cocaine everywhere. What a time to be alive. And I hardly ever left the office, so the sunlight thing wasn’t a problem.”

“Okay, so you’re not in it for the Maseratis or the drugs...”

“I’m going to be an immigration attorney,” Rami told me. “Help refugees apply for asylum to come to the United States. Arabic-speaking refugees, in particular.”

“Wow. I stand corrected. That’s wonderful, Rami. I now feel like a total tool for only aspiring to save sea turtles.” But it made sense, of course. What would any good person spend eternity doing? Making the world just a tiny bit better. I glanced at Joe, teasing him. “And you just study how to get rich, huh?”

“I’m a venture capitalist,” he said brightly. “I invest in small businesses, counsel them, encourage them, connect them with other people in the industry, help them grow. And I don’t need the money, so I take a practically microscopic equity stake. I’m basically a professional charitable donor.”

“And you get to put all of those charming mob-guy skills to use.”

Joe winked. “Exactly.”

“Doesn’t it get old?” I asked both of them. “Being college students?”

Rami shrugged. “No really. The world changes, schools of thought evolve, our own interests fluctuate. Every few decades we circle back and go for another round, fresh degrees, maybe new professions entirely. You learn something new every time.”

“And I’ve been waiting for all my old professors to die so I could go back to U Chicago for fifty years!” Joe shouted. “I’m fucking pumped!”

“But...don’t you already know everything...?”

Joe chuckled. “We’re vampires, Baby Swan, we’re not prodigies. We’re sharper than the average person, sure. But it still takes effort to learn. And we all have things we suck at.”

“Like not being obnoxious,” Rami said, nodding to Joe.

“Like not minding our own fucking business,” Joe hurled back.

“I cannot control the fact that I’m a literal mind reader—”

“You boys behave yourselves,” Mercy called in her relaxed, drawling Southern accent, swinging a basket of carrots and zucchinis and cabbages that she’d dug out of her garden, wearing a long flowing yellow dress and her hair tied up in a scarf. She plodded over in her bare feet, handed me a few carrots, then pointed to the chocolate-colored alpaca I was petting. “That lady there is Athens. And the black and white one by Joe is Augusta. Then there’s Norcross, and Alpharetta, and Savannah...and that real chubby grey one heading into the barn is Marietta.”

“I adore them,” I replied, beaming. Mercy had sheep and pigs and a couple of cows too, all ambling contently around the emerald green field as the first threads of fiery, rust-hued sunset were lighting up the horizon.

“We used to have ducks, too,” Mercy mused. “But they disappeared recently...”

Rami passed Joe a knowing smirk. Joe mouthed back menacingly: Do not.

“Hey mom,” Rami piped.

Joe jabbed an index finger at him. “No, don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare—”

“Joe ate the ducks.”

“You bitch!” Joe cried.

“Oh, Joseph,” Mercy sighed mournfully, lifting a brush out of her basket and dragging it down Athens’ fuzzy back.

“I’m sorry! It was one time! I was weak!”

“I’m not angry, sweetheart,” Mercy said. “I’m just disappointed.”

“Mom, that’s worse!”

Rami climbed to his feet and swatted grass and leaves off his cardigan sweater. “Alright folks. My work here is done. Peace out.”

“Oh no, you don’t get to do a hit and run like that, hey, Rami, hey, hey, come back here!”

Joe trotted after him, shouting a litany of insults, as Rami laughed hysterically and careened into the house. Lucy and Gwil were in the kitchen baking chocolate chip cookies; Scarlett was in the garage changing the brakes on Ben’s Vantage; Ben was noticeably absent from the Lee household and presumably out hunting. It was remarkably easy to picture his fingers closing around bloodied flesh, a wolf’s or a bear’s or an elk’s, lowering his fangs to a pulsing jugular.

“So you’re really into this whole farming thing,” I said to Mercy, looking out over the field rimmed by towering western hemlock trees. I didn’t know exactly how many acres of land the Lees owned, but it was a lot. Mercy adopted rescue animals, donated vegetables from the garden to local food pantries, and occasionally rented out the barn as a wedding venue.

“I’ve always loved it. I had a farm, you know. Before I met Gwil.”

Before she died.

“I didn’t know that,” I murmured, wanting to learn more, afraid to ask, never meaning to pry or offend. “I remember you mentioned the Civil War, and a barn...being...well...being trapped in it. When it burned down.”

Mercy nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, that’s the polite version of the story, isn’t it?” She set down her basket in the tall grass, tugged distractedly at a dark strand of hair that had escaped her scarf, stared glassily out into the sunset muted with cloud cover as Athens moseyed away. “Do you want to know what happened? I’ll tell you if you do. But I don’t want to upset you, dear.”

My voice was barely a whisper. “I’d like to know.”

“We had a little farm out in the middle of nowhere,” Mercy explained. “My husband Arthur and I.”

And it felt so outlandish to hear her say those words. Husband. She had a husband before Gwil. She had a whole life before this one.

“He had a bullet in one leg and a limp from a hunting accident when he was a boy, so he was never called up to enlist. It was a rich man’s war, but it was the poor men they sent to die in it. That’s how it always goes, I expect. And how it always will. We had two daughters, twelve and fifteen. I won’t tell you their names. Don’t take that personally, dear. I haven’t spoken their names in a hundred and fifty years.”

She turned her murky eyes—like homemade bread crust or coffee or the wood walls of a log cabin—to me.

“When the Union Army came through, they were beasts. Men like that...men who have been killing and looting and burning their way across hundreds of miles...all they want to do is get blood on their hands. That’s all they remember how to do. So that’s exactly what they did. They slaughtered our cattle for meat. They burned the house down. And then they took me and my girls, and they...they...well, you know what they did. What men do when they’re monsters. And when Arthur tried to stop them, they shot him in the chest and spit mouthfuls of chewing tobacco on him as he bled out in the dirt. Called him a coward and a deserter. Told him everything they were planning to do to me and my girls. And when they were done doing all of those things, they locked the three of us in the barn and set it ablaze. I was the only one still alive when Gwilym got there. And believe me, I didn’t want to be.”

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed, my throat burning for Mercy, for her family, for this divinely kind and benign and tender woman.

She patted my cheek fondly. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s not your fault. I got a second chance. Gwilym gave me a second chance. That’s what he does, you know. He finds broken people, fixes them, loves them fiercely. He gave me forever. Two more daughters. And three sons.”

Three sons, I thought. Rami and Joe and Ben. She counted Ben.

“Does someone have to be dying?” I asked her softly. “You know. To become like you.”

“No, honey. That’s just how Gwil does things.”

“But...why? What’s the possible downside? Why not change anyone who wants it?” Why not change someone like me?

And Mercy peered over at me, contemplative, curious, like tiptoeing gingerly over rotted floorboards, like weaving through a minefield. Like she was trying to figure out what I’d already been told.

“Hey Baby Swan,” Joe said, startling me. I whirled to see him waiting with a patient smile and his hands buried in his pockets. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

He led me upstairs to Gwil’s 1960s-style office, where Dr. Lee had cleaned and stitched the tiny gash in my forehead after my misadventure with Ben in the woods outside Calawah University, where the wall above the sturdy oak desk was adorned with a massive painting filled with gorgeous, unfamiliar, inhuman faces. Joe took a deep breath, and then he began.

“This,” he announced, introducing the painting, “is the vampire version of the mob. They can trace their existence back to before the Roman Empire. They find people who they think have potential, have talents. They turn them. And then they offer them a hundred-year contract. You sign it, or they murder you. When your term is up, you get to decide whether to renew or leave. But almost no one ever leaves. After a century of taking orders and guarding and killing, what else do you know how to do?” He pointed to the terrifying woman with long white hair and red eyes. “That’s Liesl. She’s literally Satan, only blonder. The chick with the tattoos is Akari. She can meet a human and tell what powers they’ll have once they’re changed. Very useful, obviously. The dude who looks like Idris Elba is Cato, and he’s actually an okay guy, he’s the one currently assigned to keep tabs on Gwil’s coven...”

I soaked the names in like rain into dark, lush Washington earth as Joe relayed them to me, strange and beautiful names: Aruna, Phelan, Morana, Adair, Zora, Araminta, Honora, Victorien, Rigel, Sahel.

“Who’s that?” I asked, gesturing to the young man standing at the center of the painting, the one with black hair and eyes so light and luminous a brown they were almost gold and a sinister, unmistakable magnetism.

“Very good question,” Joe complimented. “That’s their Al Capone. That’s Larkin.”

“And what’s his vampire superpower?” He has to have one. I know he does.

“How do I even put that into words? It’s more than charisma. It’s slightly less than mind reading. He can see through people, what they want most, what they fear. And he can make them do things.”

I gazed into those omniscient glowing eyes, feeling myself getting caught there, feeling some primal dread swelling in the capillary beds of my heart and lungs and bone marrow. “Joe, I’m thoroughly enjoying this captivating backstory, really, but...why are you telling me all of this now?”

“Because you asked why Ben is so different than the rest of us. This is why.” Joe waved broadly at the painting, at the closest thing his world had to a mafia, to unrepentant killers, to actual demons. “This is where he came from.”

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the-omni-princess · 5 years ago

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Fleece Navidad

Author: @the-omni-princess

Summary: Your residential frequent flyer has a good reason for wanting to stop by to see you – again.

Prompt: Doctor AU

Word Count: 1.2K

Pairing: Doctor!Latina!Reader x Biker!Bucky

Warnings: Mentions of ER emergencies (including: Stomach related sicknesses, stabbings, broken bones, small cuts, and injuries), cursing

A/N:

This was for @mypassionsarenysins ‘s 1k challenge! Congrats!!! Prompt was Doctor AU #mypassionsarenysins1k

Merry Christmas, Happy First Night of Hanukah, and Happy Holidays!!!

I also have a Stucky fic posting on Christmas (I hope), and another fic posting before the years ended! Hopefully will have started that Blood Bound chapter as well! Have a great holiday guys! <3

[Masterlist]

It was yet another long night with little to no sleep. At the very least, the ER seemed to be mostly empty. A few kids that ate stuff they weren’t supposed to, an accidental hand stabbing in Room 3, and a broken ankle in Room 5. For an ER in Brooklyn at night, it could have been much worse, but it seemed with the oncoming snowstorm, fewer people seemed to be out. Fewer people, fewer emergencies, and a slow night.

It was almost midnight Christmas night, and you sipped on your gingerbread coffee, counting down the minutes until your shift was over and you could spend the next few days on break from work. The nurses on duty had most of the patients covered, while you, the main doctor on duty for another hour, just watched over the few people still here. For once, it was peaceful. That was until your residential frequent flyer strolled in.

James “Bucky” Barnes, the president of the Avengers Motorcycle Club, sauntered in, clutching his arm. His number two and three, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, by his side, both looking equally bored. “Mr. Barnes,” you sighed softly, letting one of the nurses handle the sick child with food poisoning in Room 2. “To what do I owe the absolute pleasure?” sarcasm dripped like venom in your voice. Overall, the Avengers were a band of Do-gooders, intimidating bikers that protected the people who needed it around town; but lately, their president seemed to have a permanent bed in your ER.

“Aw, doll, it’s good to see you too,” Bucky teased back, grinning as he followed you to Room 4, sitting on the bed. “See it’s not too bad today, just some bruises and cuts, making sure I didn’t break anything is all.” He held out his arm, and sure enough, his wrist was bruised up, swollen, with a bit of blood.

You glanced towards his cohorts, “Do you just let him run into walls like a Roomba?” you looked more annoyed than anything. Sure, this biker was cute – okay fine, hot as fuck – but he tended to just take up space in your ER. Granted, he only seemed to show up when you were on duty and when the ER was slow, but still.

“Aw, doll, you’re no fun. It’s Christmas and you're stuck here,” he pouted as you began to clean and bandage his wrist, quickly figuring out it wasn’t broken and didn’t need stitches. Both of his friends looked at him with a pointed expression when you turned around.

“I’m here because I want to, Barnes. It’s my job.” You finished bandaging him before sitting beside him. “Rogers, Wilson, out. You two can wait in the waiting room.” Both men rushed out the curtain, moving down the hallway quickly. You turned on the biker, your face scrunched up, “How many times do I have to tell you, Bucky? Stay out of my ER! Just because we went on a few dates and have one tomorrow doesn’t mean you can take up space when others might need it.”

Bucky had the decency to look away bashfully, “I didn’t want you to be alone on Christmas, baby doll,” he murmured softly, making you melt.

“Babe, I celebrated Christmas yesterday. Had my sisters over, that’s why I didn’t go out to lunch with you. I’m Latina, I’ve always celebrated Christmas the night before.” You said gently, smiling faintly as he went red.

“Oh-Oh! Fuck, I’m sorry, Sweetheart, I wasn’t thinking-“

“You’re right, you weren’t, but I forgive you,” you teased, kissing his cheek before checking your watch. “I’m off in twenty minutes, think you can have enough patience to wait for me in the waiting room with the boys?”

He nodded quickly, grinning, “Poor guys think I’m a love-sick puppy, following you around.”

“That’s because you are, babe,” you teased, smiling up at him. “You get out of here and tell them either about us or some excuse, I’ll be there when I clock out.”

He stood back up, smiling as he pulled you into his arms. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you kissed his nose, “Now go.”

He reluctantly walked off towards your waiting room while you checked on the last few patients of yours. You quickly said goodbye a few minutes later to your nurses and the doctor rotating onto duty while you clocked out.

When you made your way to the waiting room, Bucky, Steve, and Sam stood there, the latter two with shit-eating grins on their faces. “Should I ask whats got you two so excited?” You teased, unable to stop the smile from your face as Bucky led you out the door and into the chilly weather. No snow this Christmas but still decently cold, which had you shivering in your scrubs. The current fleece sweater you were wearing with the words ‘Fleece Navidad’ and a little sheep wasn’t giving you much warmth as the temperature dropped.

Bucky placed his leather jacket around your shoulders, using the little shuffle you did into the warmth of the leather – the scent of smoky cologne filling your senses – to pull you into his embrace. “I might have told them about us,” he said in a soft voice, tilting your chin up gently.

“Oh, did you now?” You grinned, “Did you also mention that you’re a secret teddy bear that didn’t want his girlfriend to feel lonely on Christmas, so you slammed your hand into a wall?”

Sam snickered behind you, and Bucky shot him a dirty look before softening as he looked back down towards you. “I might have skipped that part. Let me give you a ride home, sweetheart. My ma would kill me if she found out I let you take the subway home this late at night in this weather.” He gently pushed a stray baby hair out of your face, your usual work hairdo messy from the long and hectic shift.

“Only if you can promise me hot cocoa and dancing to Christmas Frank Sinatra record.”

“Deal,” he pulled you closer, making a shooing motion towards his friends as he finally closed the distance and kissed you softly. Slow movements underneath the spell of each other, gentle caresses, not caring about the intruders to your little moment.

“Not to make this even cuter, but you guys are even under the mistletoe!” Steve teased, Sam and him chuckling as the leaned on the wall near their bikes.

You looked up, and sure enough, one of your coworkers had taped a small bundle of mistletoe above your heads. Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle, tugging you impossibly closer. “Perfect,” he kissed your nose, absentmindedly noticing it was growing cold, making you melt with his charming and goofy smile. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.” Surrounded by the lights of a distance ambulance leaving the lot and the bright white lights of the inside of the ER, you couldn’t help but compare it to the holiday lights strung around the rest of the city, bathing you and Bucky with holiday warmth as Carol of the Bells begun to play in some café down the street. This right here, with the man you were slowly but quickly falling in love with, was the most perfect end to your holiday than you could have dreamt of.

---

Tags:

Permanent Tags:

@minetticatinwonderland / @lumar014 / @maniacproffesor / @gollyderek / @nerdy-bookworm-1998 / @avengerstones / @momc95 / @loving-life-my-way / @agentpeggybarnes / @marvelmaree / @thefridgeismybestie / miraclesoflove / hello-fanfiction-goodbye-grades / deathofmissjackson

Bucky Tags:

@cassandras-musings / @darkness-doughter / @novaddictx / @thedancingnerdmermaid / @mood-pancakes / @gracethegeek9902 / @ravennightingaleandavatempus / @sunkissedbarnes / @annavega333 / @im-not-an-armrest-im-short

For a tag, just reply/comment, if I don’t see it, just message me. Tell me what you think! Literally, any comment makes me happy! Like, comment, reblog, interact <3

#mypassionsarenysins1k #Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #james barnes x reader #hispanic!reader #doctor au #doctor!reader #biker!bucky #christmas fic

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eulaties · 4 years ago

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final thoughts about unlucky mansion !!! <3

spoilers under the cut! read at your own risk :)

DSJKGHDFSKJG THAT WAS LITERALLY SO GOOD I LOVE UNLUCKY MANSION SO FUCKING MUCH!!! i loved the open-ended ending that was basically “life will go on, and we’ll be happy as long as we’re together” and i just 💘💖💗💓💝💞 im so happy that eun joo and woo jin esp can finally move onto the next chapter in their lives, together, with each other at their sides :)

let me touch on a few topics:

1. chae min going to australia and finding her own happiness after having sung woo help her realize how to do that :) man i just love her character and she literally deserves this. also lmao the fact that she got a crush on sung woo and said alright i am going 2 leave to an entirely different country now peace out

now that i’m rereading unlucky mansion (ik i just finished it but it cant be helped) i realize just how cynical and self-destructive chae min used to be. im really happy for her and her decision to finally let herself be happy :)

“it looks like happiness is a really heavy thing to you, noona. but happiness is just when you eat good food, when you see a movie you like for the third time...or maybe when you’re walking down the street and get excited by a song that you can hear from a nearby store. it’s not something that heavy. happiness is becoming happy when you want to. if you’re ready to receive it, you can become happy at any time.” -sung woo, ch. 68

2. NO THOUGHTS ONLY EUN JOO AND WOO JIN...LOVE THEM BOTH THEY’RE SO LUCKY TO HAVE EACH OTHER I AHDSJFHDGH <333

“it’s not winning against despair and fear, but rather sitting down together and sharing like you’re at a meal. once you share, hope will emerge and the problem will be solved...well, what i’m trying to say is don’t keep everything in and suffer by yourself.” -eun joo, ch. 20

“you portrayed forgetting your family and living as a bad thing in there, but to be honest, we’re not a hero like odysseus—we’re just normal people. as normal people get close and obsessed with each other, they’ll suffer. even if you became a bit of a bad person...it’s more important for you to forget the sad memories and become happy from further away. you have to be happy.” -eun joo, ch. 70

“even though we love words that dash for the conclusion like electrons, because we can’t properly see the ending for our story...because we continued to wander and seek out our own paths to get here—we could understand each other’s scars, and have no choice but to love each other.” -woo jin, ch. 70

3. EUN JOO BEING SUCCESSFUL! i love that for her! especially bc i also wanna be a (potential!) fashion designer one day it was just so fucking cool to see her at work and in her element. man im just so happy for her and she’s come a long way, especially from the beginning of the story. also her personality and style is just kickass

4. WOO JIN RECONCILING WITH HIS BROTHER AND MOVING ON!! loved this. everything was executed perfectly. it was super emotional at points, and i really felt the despair :( but in the end, his brother’s surgery went well, and woo jin learned how to live his own life without feeling any unnecessary guilt over things he had no control over and i just :) also that acceptance speech was just so badass!!! what a king !! also love his hello kitty collection it’s very admirable

5. kwon hi and kwon joon <3 my favorite orange twins hehe. i feel sad that kwon joon broke up with his girlfriend and he failed his singing audition, but ig it’s just life i suppose T_T wishing him more success in the future! and i also just love their sibling dynamic in general :)

6. i really love the art. it’s just so fitting for the story, and the way panels are drawn, and the color palettes used, it’s just *chefs kiss* so beautiful!! so much art appreciation <3

7. the writing, plot, and story were phenomenal. i love how it turned a basic, typical trope (living together with roommates) and turned it into something compelling, complex, and interesting to read about. all of the character dynamics and interactions were just so fun to read about, and literally everyone had chemistry w each other in unlucky mansion (by which i mostly mean platonic chemistry, except for woo jin and eun joo they had hella romantic chemistry lmfao). the author also touched on some deep topics that really resonated with me, and the conflicts that the characters faced were super relatable and things i could empathize with. plus, the humor and expressions the characters made were top notch! the emotional scenes were so heart wrenching too haha ;; overall, there was a great mix of emotional and comical scenes and the writing of the relationship & character developments were super organic and...human.

8. i wish we saw a eun joo and woo jin wedding but it’s okay the last panel of them together is good enough T_T

i can rest easy now...im so glad that i finally got to read season 3 of unlucky mansion!! (even though i had to read raws and the english translation on mystic’s tumblr at the same time - which, by the way, was an Experience and honestly kinda fun. it spiced things up)

i know im going to be rereading this manhwa for years to come, and im honestly surprised that i havent read this sooner - but im glad i read it now and the memories that came with reading it will be happy and heartfelt.

(i literally feel so much serotonin rn im smiling so much)

alright, peace out! that’s all for today, folks 😊

- eulaties 🌸

#unlucky mansion #my thoughts #final review #eulaties #eulaties writing & reviews

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groovycatcollector · 5 years ago

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The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Summery: After losing her brother and his wife, one young woman is left on her own, caring for a new born and trying to survive. After being taken in to a community after years of mistrust, how will she adapt, and what effect will a certain archer have on her. Starts the last episode of season 5

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 11

I wake again with the usual start, but this time immediately regretting sitting up straight, the banging in my head making my lie back down. The second thing I felt was my foul dryness in my mouth, then I heard a soft whimper of the baby. I reached an arm out to rub his stomach, feeling it fall down, I peeped an eye open to see I was on the couch not my bed. Hhm, odd.

I slowly sat up, wondering where Cain was and seeing a light on in the kitchen I crept over trying to keep my feet soft so I wouldn’t make any noise.

Still slightly hungover I squinted at the light, and saw a peculiar sight, a sweet sight really. Daryl was rocking my nephew, feeding him a bottle. He looked comfortable holding a baby.

I leaned agents the archway, feeling something bubble in my chest. “What are you doing with my baby Dixon?” I asked, rubbing one eye that still refused to let go of sleep my body so rudely awaken me from. I smiled lazily looking at Daryl shushing Cain to be quiet. He looked up, still looking a bit tipsy with rosy cheeks and a half smile. We kept drinking long after we strolled back.

People had brought over small gifts, some pickled food, and some small jars of wine which were now empty. I was shocked to see people be exited for a baptism, I knew I small talked with most people. I had helped stich up a few people and momentarily watched a few kids here and there but I didn’t think people even knew I was here.

Daryl’s lips curled into a crooked smile “Ahh, Natasha” He wrinkled his nose, slurring the last syllable of my name. I barley grumbled a ‘Piss off’ before grabbing a glass and gulping down three of water. The water felt sweep and stopped my tongue sticking to my pallet. I filled it again and held it up for Daryl, which made up do an awkward ‘swap you a baby for a glass of water’ dance.

I bounced Cain, wanting him to keep the heavy sleepiness so he could pass out soon enough, pretending not to watch him drinking down the water. Obviously he noticed and smiling he asked “What?” I smiled back “You got a bit of ugly on your face” Daryl raised an eyebrow before walking past me towards the couch. I followed.

I watched as he took a seat, stretching out his arms over the top of the sofa. I sat next to him, being careful to not wake Cain “I have a question” He announced, like he was proud of himself. “If you’re real names Natasha, why did you say your name was Nina?” He looked like he just found my deepest secret, that he had deeply outsmarted me.

I rolled my eyes, I used to get this all the time when I was younger. “My baba called me Natasha out of this old book, but my older sister Mary-Grace couldn’t say it because she was only two or three, so she called me Nina and it stuck” I had rehearsed that line so many time before, when it was still important. He nodded, implying that it was satisfactory. I suddenly felt a chill over my arms, and pulled Cain closer to me.

I pointed behind at the woollen blanket next to Daryl “Could you grab that? Im freezing” For a second he looked bewildered, before reaching behind and lied it on my legs. I pulled Cain up so his head was by my shoulder and adjusted the blanket. I mumbled a thank you before closing my eye, but Daryl had other ideas.

I felt half the blanked come away with a tug, leaving my left side completely uncovered. “I’m fucking cold too kid, don’t be an asshole” He was still slurring his words a bit, but now I couldn’t tell if it was the drink or his accent. We sleepily wrestled about the partition of the blanket, before decided to just sit closer together. Apparently using the argument of “I have a young baby that will freeze to death and then eat you” worked on a drunk archer.

I barley remember falling back asleep but this time I woke up slowly, my eyes unopened, and listened to Carols muffled footsteps upstairs. I slept well, slept well for the first time in a while. My eyes still closed I shifted, on hand still on Cain’s back, and I snuggled myself into the warmth.

Warmth…

Oh shit.

Fuck now I felt it, the side of my face smushed into a chest and the arm curled around my waist. I must have leaned into him in my sleep. Shit what do I do? If I move I’ll wake him up, not that I want to, I’m pretty comfy -Oh sweet jesus I can’t be thinking like this he’s my friend. This will probably be very awkward when he wakes up, should I move ? Can I move ?

I reluctantly peeked an eye open and glanced around the room. It was already light out, light enough to be at the infirmary, defiantly missed helping Maggie then. I allowed myself to shift my head up a little, to see Daryl sound asleep. He looked a lot younger actually, and his hair all ruffled up like that was sweet- Nina whats wrong with you leave him alone.

He smelt good, like oak and something distinctly man Fuck sakes Nina not the time. Oh god I’m proper snuggled up to him, he was warm. I felt my cheeks flare up, and his steady heartbeat was drowned out by the blood pumping in my ears. Stop thinking about how warm he is and how sweet he looks and how he smells just so good and think danmmit !

Okay, actually how about he deals with the awkwardness of waking the other one first. I’ll just close my eyes, pretend I’m asleep, and let him deal with it.

Yeah … Good idea.

I drifted off again, leaning into the comfort of a loose hug. This time I woke up alone, to Cain whimpering on my chest, then feeling his weight lift from me I sat up completely alert. Carol stood over me looking a bit shocked before relaxing with a smile, easing a bottle into Cain’s mouth.

I thanked her, before grabbing some breakfast, well lunch now. Carol still held onto Cain after I’d splashed my face in an attempt to wake myself up .“Daryl’s on a run with Rick” She chimed in from behind me. Oh god, She must have seen us on the couch, Or after we came back from my little walk. Oh fuck she must think I’m a right perv… or maybe she didn’t? Maybe that’s what friends do in an apocalypse?

I rolled my sleeves up before taking Cain back. “Thanks again for last night, it was nice to let off some steam” I smiled, hoping and praying that she hadn’t seen. Her eyes narrowed for a spilt second before her face softened into a smile “It wasn’t any trouble, gives us an excuse for a few drinks”

I looked down at my boots, trying to distract myself from the embarrassment that had washed over the back of my neck “Yeah, ehh sorry about going a bit crazy”. She laughed at that

“How’s the head Ms Natasha?” Denis sang with a half-smile, looking far too amused with herself. I put Cain down in the corner “Jesus how does everyone know that’s my first name?” I huffed. Denis laughs before clearing her throat and putting on a god awful Russian accent.

“You’re not cutting me off, Natasha Ilyinichna Irena Lebedev Price can handle her drink, she is true Russian”

I stared at her in shock, thank god I wasn’t holding the baby because I would have dropped him right there. “I did not” I barely got out a whisper. She handed me a cup of coffee, giving me a look of no sympathy. “You did”

I slowly sat down on the bed, it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve done drunk. One time I flashed my tits to a police officer, who didn’t press charges thank god.

I sipped the coffee, wincing a little at its bitterness but drinking it knowing I’ll need the energy today.

The day was actually pretty normal considering how unusual it started. Did the routine, gossiped a little about the people last night, about Carol and Tobin, when rick and Michonne would get together, how red Glenn’s face got when he drank ect.

I was boiling the equipment to sterilize them when Denis gave me a look, a look that I give to Carl whenever I figure he’s been screwing around with Enid. She fumbled with her hands for a second, leaning agents the counter next to me. “What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She hummed, looking around the room. “Remember how I said that I thought you and Daryl had a thing?” Oh shit. I nodded slowly “Yeah, what about it?” I was careful with my words, not wanting to give away how intrested I actually was on the matter.

Okay, maybe I have a tiny crush.

Denise simply cocked her head at me, like I was supposed to know where this conversation was going. I looked back, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

The doctor cleared her throat before straightening up “You guys were just pretty friendly that’s all”

My eyes followed her “I don’t kno-“my undoubtedly-would-have-been witty response was cut short by something moving in my peripheral vision, instinctively making my hand go to the knife in my pocket.

“Why ar-“I put my hand up to silence her, keeping my eye on the back room.

Could be someone just looking for help, but could be a rotter. Denisse eyes follow mine as I crept into the back room only to see Cain.

I let out a sigh of relief before glancing back, he was in a different spot to where I put him.

Thankfully Denise was there to fill in the blanks “Holy shit he’s crawling”

I froze, my eyes fixated on the clumsy movements while he moved closer toward us before stumbling a little and flopping onto his stomach.

I let out a hearty laugh before stooping down to pick him look from his armpits. Holy shit, my baby’s crawling. “Hey look what you did” I cooed, looking into his his (literal) baby blues.

I burst through the door into the house dizzy with excitement and placed Cain onto the wooden floor. I wanted to see it again.

“What are you doing?” I quickly shushed Carol, who stamped passed me to close the door into the night. Carol let out a little squeak seeing Cain flop forward again and begin to drag himself toward Daryl, who sat on a stool near the kitchen.

I gasped, still shocked at his new skill. “Aren’t you just the cleverest little thing !” Carol exclaimed, picking him up once he fell again, nearly mirroring my reaction. I chuckled bringing my figure up to rub under his chin. “He’s gonna be the next Usain Bolt I betcha”

It was just me and Daryl playing a game of poker on the couch that evening. I had put Cain down after his feed about twenty minutes ago and Carol had gone to see Tobin when she thought none of us would notice.

Honestly we were both a bit awkward once it was only us, so Daryl offered a game. It helped, we were back to our usual snarky remarks and sideways glances after the first round. Neither one of us had mentioned this morning, which was fine.

Totally fine.

…

Maybe I wanted to talk about it, maybe I wanted to know how he felt about it.

…

Maybe Denis was right and I had a major crush.

His laugh brought me out of over thinking. His eyes lit up as placed a full house down in front of my eyes. “Awh fuck you Dixon” I snarled, trying to force down a laugh at his exited face. Daryl’s green eyes scrunched up with joy “You’re just Jealous Dolly that you’re crap at this game” My chest fluttered with the new nickname.

He was right. I was crap.

“Dolly?” I grumbled, giving him an eye while I reshuffled the cards. “Like Dolly Parton?” He smiled again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so much. I liked it.

Daryl didn’t even get an answer out before I joked “Just because of the blonde hair and big tits?” My turn to smile. Daryl’s ears turned a bright red before shaking his head. “Nah” His eyes were not fixated on his cards, his long fingers fumbling trying to put them in order. “You’re just always singing her that’s all”

I hummed, accepting that excuse. But it was definitely because of my blonde hair and tits.

We were quiet for a time, focusing on the game, and once it became clear that I was once again going to lose I tried to distract him “How was the run today?” I asked, looking up from my cards to see his brow furrowed in concentration.

He took a moment to respond. “Shit, found a big truck full of supplies that ended up in a lake”

That took me back and I let my cards go limp. Daryl’s shoulders slumped a little, obviously not something he wanted to talk about.

We played for another round before my nattering was interrupted with a sudden question.

“Do you want to stay?” Daryl didn’t look at me, kept his eyes fixated on his cards I scanned his face, wondering why he was asking. I dropped my cards, suddenly feeling the room become serious. “Well I want Cain to grow up safe, and Denise needs me in the infirmary and-“ He cut me off “I know a roamer when I see one Nina” His chest rose and fell

“You’re saying you have to stay, but do you want to?” He looked at me, his eyes filled with something, something close to desperation.

The same desperation that was reflected mine the past few days. I let out a shaky breath, feeling myself my heart thumping in my chest “I’m starting to” his eyes darted down to my lips for a fraction, and I bit my own. We just sat there looking at each other for what felt like a lifetime, my mind racing and stopping at the same time.

I don’t know who leaned in first or whose hands reached out first but in an instant our lips met, and his hand was on my cheek. It was slow, like neither one of us was sure it was a good idea, but perusing anyways.

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