#IM OKAY now I think. sorry if I have messages I will check those when I have good news

[lesbiantvfish]

im awake yay. sorry I fell off the earth first it was just a throat issue then it was a not able to digest anything = no chronic pain meds kept me from sleeping over 24 hours. as u can imagine I’ll be back later and see if I can finally eat

[redwing4life]

Home Cooked Meal

CHAPTER 4 | ASHES TO EMBERS

can be read as a stand alone :)

PAIRING: Firefighter!Neighbour!Bucky x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: Smut (finally) - dirty talk, pet names, oral f and m receiving, fingering, tit play, praise kink, hand kink?, ball play, hair pulling, unprotected PinV sex, aftercare, reader and bucky have dinner, swearing, fluff, let me know if i missed anything!

SUMMARY: You surprise Bucky with a home cooked meal after his shift, and it’s the best damn thing he’s had in years. The pasta was pretty good too.

WORD COUNT: 10550 (ngl i rechecked this three times cuz i didn’t think i wrote this much but turns out i did in fact write over 10k words im sorry lmao)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER // NEXT CHAPTER

Call me when you get home x

Your text still sits on Bucky’s lock screen, read but not opened, as he gets changed out of his work clothes.

It’s fair to say that the message intrigued him when he first read it half an hour ago, just before he left the firehouse. His legs sped up your building stairwell faster than normal, desperate to find out why you’re awaiting his call.

Knowing you would have said so if you were in immediate danger, Bucky sifts through the multitude of possibilities that await him on the other side of the ring tone; none of which ease the butterflies in his stomach.

He walks to his kitchen, phone in hand, to get a glass of orange juice. Pulling up your contact page, he presses ‘call’ and grabs the carton of juice from the fridge door.

You answer after just one ring, eager to hear his voice.

“Hey, Barnes!” God, Bucky loves your voice.

“Doll.” His voice is soft, tone rising at the end with curiosity. “You asked me to call, what’s up?”

The firefighter swoons at the adorable giggle you let out, the sound distant from the mic as though you’ve tried to hide it. “I was worried you didn’t see my text.” You admit.

Bucky pictures you biting your lip anxiously, an accurate prediction for your current state.

“What are you doing right now?”

Glancing down at the yet-to-be-filled glass in front of him, Bucky leans a hand against the kitchen island. “Just about to get a drink, what are-“

“Don’t!” You cut in. “Don’t get a drink, I need you to come over.”

“What, now? What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, James. Just come knock, okay? I’ll see you in a minute!”

And with that, the call cuts off with a dull beep; Bucky brings the phone down from his ear and stares at it in confusion. You’re being weird, never having hung up on him like that before.

Alpine meows from above the fridge, drawing her owner’s attention away from the phone, only to tilt her head at him.

Even Alps is confused.

Deciding to just do what you told, Bucky slips his phone into the pocket of his dark jeans, returns the orange juice to the fridge and sets off for the front door. He finds himself checking over his appearance in the entry way mirror, eyes scanning over his outfit before he smooths out his hair.

Although he won’t admit it, Bucky’s spent a lot more time in front of that mirror lately; checking his collar isn’t twisted, his hair isn’t too messy and there’s nothing stuck in his teeth. The need to look good, to look good for you, hasn’t gone unnoticed by his colleagues.

He considers using the spare key you gave him and letting himself into your apartment but shakes the thought away.

She asked you to knock, Bucky. Not break in.

With one final nod in the mirror, Bucky leaves his apartment, stepping into the hallway he’s spent so many mornings and nights in with you.

Old jazz music greets his ears when he approaches your door, the soft melody sneaking through the cracks of the door frame. Bucky smiles to himself at the thought of you dancing in your kitchen, heart warming when he notices your humming.

Knocking thrice, the firefighter steps back and nervously stuffs his hands into his pockets. You always make him nervous, those darn butterflies stirring in his stomach whenever he’s about to see you. And when he does see you. Actually, they’re there even when he imagines seeing you.

He takes a breath when he hears you shuffling up to the door, but nothing could prepare him for the sight when it swings open.

Rusty red fabric flows from your neckline to the middle of your thighs, small flowers dotted over the slightly orange colour. Two thin straps perched on your shoulders leave plenty of skin on show as your usual sun-pendant necklace sits between the v-neck of your dress. Which, by the way, perfectly presents the soft swell of your breasts.

It takes everything Bucky has to not drool at his breathtaking neighbour, but it takes even more to not dive on you and finally taste those pink lips.

Your skin is ablaze beneath his eyes and you revel in his reaction, the exact response you wanted when you pulled on the dress two hours ago.

“We’re matching.” You grin, taking a moment to enjoy Bucky’s red henley.

“It’s almost like we planned it.” A chuckle escapes him, eyes trailing up from your thighs to meet yours.

“Speaking of plans,” You reach out to pull Bucky closer, tugging his forearms until he pulls his hands out of his pockets, “I have a surprise for you.”

Is it letting me look at you in that dress all evening? Your neighbour thinks - hopes - as you lead him into your apartment.

Closing the door behind him, you take his hand in yours once more to guide him to your little kitchen/diner area. If you weren’t looking ahead, you’d see Bucky’s cheeks flushed pink at your touch. Seeing your hand encompassed with his own will never fail to drive him crazy.

When he eventually looks up from your joined hands, he’s stunned to a halt. You turn back to him when you feel him plant his feet and your features twist into a nervous expression.

“I- Doll, what is all this?” The firefighters eyes are wide at your ‘surprise’.

Your small dining table is set up for two; cream place mats lay beneath charcoal gray pasta dishes with wine glasses sitting at their corners. There’s even a little vase with pink and yellow tulips in between the two spaces.

“Well, remember that time when you told me you haven’t had a proper home cooked meal in years?” You watch Bucky closely as you speak, waiting for some sign of approval.

“You mean this morning?” He turns to you in wonder, thinking back to your conversation as he gave you a lift to the cafe. “I don’t know what to say, doll.”

You roll back on your heels, hands scrunching your dress at your sides. “Is it okay? I know it’s a little cheesy and it’s last minute but I thought it would be a nice surprise for you after working all day. I mean, it’s not exactly at your home but it’s pretty cl-“

Bucky takes two long strides towards you and brings his hands to cup your cheeks; your words die on your tongue when he looks down at you with tender eyes.

“It’s perfect, Y/n.” He smiles, stroking his thumb over your cheek bone. “You could feed me Alpine’s food and i’d still bow at your feet, sweets.”

Now you’re the one blushing. You heart skips when Bucky’s eyes drop to your lips with hunger in his gaze.

“Always so good to me, aren’t ya?” His words tempt a whimper from deep within you, a submissive whine held back by the last of your restraint.

“Well-“

The oven beeps, its sharp tone darting between your bodies and making you step back from Bucky’s hold.

“Uhh” Your mind is all over the place as the firefighter watches you with amusement, “I- I should, I mean- the pasta must be-“

“Go, doll.” Bucky shakes his head laughing quietly.

Your dress sways as you spin away to the stove, stirring various pots and tidying up the counters. Your neighbour watches you in awe, unashamedly enjoying the view; you just look so goddamn sexy in that cute little dress while you cook for him. He wishes he could come home to this every night.

“You need a hand with anything, doll?” Bucky’s voice sounds from behind you.

“Actually, yeah!” You glance over your shoulder. “Come here.”

If you keep bossing him about, Bucky’s gonna struggle not to tear that sweet little sundress right off you.

Settling in at your side, Bucky cocks his head. “What d’ya need?”

You scoop some of the creamy tomato sauce onto a spoon and bring it to Bucky’s lips. “Try this for me.”

With bated breath, you watch his full lips wrap around the end of the spoon, his eyes bearing into yours as he drags the sauce into his mouth.

Bucky has no business looking as dirty as he does in this moment; you watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows before his tongue juts out to catch a few missed drops. And just when you thought your panties would survive the sight, a moan ripples from his throat and you clench around nothing at the sound.

“Good?” You murmur, hoping he doesn’t notice when you cross your legs.

He notices.

“Delicious,” Bucky takes the spoon from your hand and stretches across you to place it back in the pan, his right hand brushing against the small of your back, “you did great, sweets.”

Fuck. Me.

You regather your composure and ask Bucky to get the wine from the fridge. He pours you both a glass, setting them back on the dining table gently before returning the bottle to its home.

“Hey, could you bring the bowls over, please?” You call over your shoulder.

You plate up the sauce coated pasta while Bucky places the dirty pans in the sink, both working around each other like a fine tuned machine.

Before you can do it yourself, Bucky is picking up the bowls and laying them on the place mats, winking at you as he does so. He pulls your chair out for you, nodding for you to join him.

“For you, Madame.” He jokes, allowing you to sit down while tucking you in.

You watch him round the table and take his own seat. “And they say chivalry is dead.”

Bucky grins at you. The orange glow of sunset shines through your windows, catching your features with grace. Your eyes shine beneath the light and Bucky can’t help but find you angelic.

“You’re beautiful, doll. I don’t know if I said that earlier but, god, you look stunning tonight.”

Dropping your head, you play with the hem of your dress shyly. Your hair falls into your face, forcing you to push it behind your ears, though Bucky wishes he was close enough to do it himself.

With rose tinted cheeks, you look up at Bucky through your lashes. “You say that to all your neighbours, Barnes?” You raise a brow with your teasing voice.

Bucky throws his head back and laughs heartily, a sound you’ve come to adore.

“Only the ones who cook for me.” He winks.

“Doesn’t Ms Scott bring you pies every couple weeks?”

“And I tell her she looks ravishing every time.”

You giggle and tell Bucky to dig in, though you could happily sit and talk all night. While you both stop every now and then for a forkful of food, conversation bounces between you as it always does.

Tonight isn’t much different to a typical evening with the firefighter next door; usually you share some snacks and beers, cozying up on the couch as you watch tv. It’s become ritual for you to send Bucky a video of you playing the piano each evening, his phone playing the video on loop as he sleeps. It’s strange, but the music creeps into his dreams and keeps them peaceful, keeps him away from that burning building.

It’s been a few weeks since the night he was sent home early. Both you and Bucky felt a shift that night; waking up in his arms left you craving more, though you’ve yet to tell him as much. You left him sleeping peacefully that morning when you left for work with only a couple hours of sleep under your belt.

Bucky hated waking up to find the other side of his bed empty, no longer feeling your heat. The note you left him eased the disappointment slightly, your neat handwriting promising to come back in your breaks. Neither of you have addressed how right it felt to sleep beside each other that night, despite spending all of your free time together with unspoken words hanging over you.

Instead, you dance around each other like two ghosts doomed to never touch. The bond between you is stronger than any you’ve ever had, the magnetic lure undeniable for you both.

Your glasses have been emptied and refilled twice now - dinner long since been finished - and you’re starting to feel the buzz; those butterflies in your stomach have turned into a swarm of confidence, your brain taking a backseat from its usual overthinking.

“You expect me to believe that you broke down the door before Sam could? The same guy who beat you at your physical a few weeks back?” You tease the brunette, a challenging brow raised at his rather unimpressed face.

“What are you trying to say there, doll?”

Bucky’s jaw clenches when you tilt your head slightly, eyes shining with amusement beneath the exposed hanging light bulbs.

“Nothing to worry your cute little head about.” You watch Bucky relax into his chair slightly as you reach for your glass with a smirk. “Just that I doubt Sam has any difficulty kicking a door down, not with the way he’s built.”

The scoff to end all scoffs ripples from your neighbours throat; his bright blue orbs glare into you and his features twist into a scowl. Oh if looks could kill…

Bucky’s tone is flat, “Didn’t know you were such an admirer of Wilson’s build, Y/n.”

The lack of a pet name sends your confidence wavering, but not enough to keep you from having a little fun.

“Well, you know,” You bring the glass to your lips, “he’s hardly difficult to miss.”

Watching the deep ruby liquid pass over your lips, Bucky fights to hide the fury that’s flooding his veins, forced to look away from your smug grin.

He knows, he knows, that you’re lying through your teeth, trying to get a rise out of his usually impenetrable facade, and yet he can’t help but feel jealous.

Bucky’s painfully aware that he has no right to feel so possessive, not when he lays no claim to you. But the twist of his stomach is proof that he doesn’t much care.

“Maybe I should just give you his number and you can cook him a meal next time.” Bucky grumbles.

“Oh, that’s alright, I already have his number.”

You’ve never seen Bucky’s head snap up as quickly as it just did, his gaze pinning you to your spot.

“You what?”

Gently, you place your glass back on the table. “Yeah, Steve gave him my number last week so he could get in touch.”

The fire in those blue eyes burns brighter with each word, his body so still that his chest is barely moving when he breathes. In fact, you’re not even sure if he is breathing. Hell, he’s not even sure if he’s breathing.

“Is that right?” Bucky’s gruff voice is laced with possessiveness, the low tone travelling straight to your panties till you swear you feel yourself throb. You wonder briefly if you have a jealousy kink and the sweet arousal dripping from your cunt only confirms your suspicions.

“Mhm.” You hum in response, “In fact, i’m going out for coffee with him next week.”

“Huh.”

Bucky’s chair screeches against the hardwood floor as he pushes himself back. You follow his movements with amused eyes when he stands up and grabs your plates before storming to the kitchen. You twist in your chair, watching him place the dishes in the sink and flick on the tap.

“James, what are you doing?” You ask.

“What does it look like i’m doing?” Oh he’s grumpy, grumpy.

Bucky’s shoulders are tense beneath his tight henley, his sleeves now rolled up as he starts scrubbing at the plates. It’s quiet while he concentrates on his work, only accompanied by the music still flowing from your speaker.

From the corner of his eye, the firefighter sees you rise from your chair, ears honed in on the sound of your feet pattering towards him.

It’s now hard for Bucky to focus on anything but your breath on his neck, goosebumps littered across his skin like a rash. You stand right behind him, tracing your fingers up from the small of his back; Bucky’s muscles tense momentarily before melting at your touch, just like always.

“Ask me why i’m seeing Sam next week.” You order, hands still roaming the taut fabric on Bucky’s back. The command makes him pause and clench his eyes shut. Why are you making him talk about this when it’s tearing him apart?

The brunette turns in your hold but you don’t release him, instead settling your hands on his waist.

“Why are you seeing him, doll?” Bucky sounds despondent, brows furrowed in confusion as he looks down at you.

“He asked me to teach his nephews to play the piano, Buck. I’m meeting him and the boys on Wednesday, Sarah too.”

A shocked ‘What’ tumbles from his lips as the information sinks in, his frown slowly falling away as he processes your words.

“Yeah…” You grin, though it’s more like a smirk, content with yourself proving he was jealous.

In a desperate attempt to save his ego, Bucky rolls his eyes playfully. “I knew you weren’t really attracted to that dumbass.”

You scoff and pat his chest lightly. “Sure you did, Barnes. Now scoot, you wash ‘em, i’ll dry ‘em.”

With his hands on his hips, he stays still as you nudge your way to his side, stretching to the window sill where your dish towels lay. Bucky’s never been in this position before, it’s always him who’s teasing you; this is new territory for him and it irks him that you riled him up so easily.

Once he shakes his head clear, the firefighter returns to face the sink and starts washing the dishes again. You wait patiently while he works, humming along to whichever song is playing.

“You like the old stuff, huh doll?” Bucky grins warmly at the slight sway of your hips, your radiance beaming like a lantern.

You giggle sheepishly and bite your lip, unknowingly sending Bucky spiralling. “I thought it was fitting for tonight, really leaning into the whole ‘housewife’ role.”

He raises a brow, “Does that make me your doting husband then, sweets?”

Realising what you said, your cheeks heat up instantly and your eyes widen. You attempt to backtrack but your words stumble over one another as though you’re a little school girl.

Bucky, however, is basking in the familiarity of control; your rosy cheeks never fail to bring a smile to his face, and boy is he beaming right now.

“I meant- It’s- You know what I meant, James.” You shoot daggers at him, though the idea of being married to your neighbour sends your heart into overdrive.

That swoon-worthy laugh greets your ears with haste, Bucky’s eyes crinkled at the corners as his chest reverberates with its force. It’s impossible to bite back the grin that’s fighting its way onto your lips.

Small tendrils of chestnut hair tumble from behind his ears, begging to be pushed back, but the buzz from the wine has dulled and you can’t find the confidence to do it, no matter how much Bucky’s eyes are pleading you to.

“You know, it’s sweet of you to teach the boys how to play.” He looks at you in adoration, the image of you spending time with Sam’s nephews triggering a warmth to spread in his chest.

A breathy laugh escapes you as your gaze falls to the kitchen counter. You blush at the compliment and slowly start drying the dishes again.

“Do you spend much time with them?” You ask with a brief glance his way.

Bucky shrugs, “Yeah, Sarah is always throwing barbecues for the squad. They’re good kids, and I bet they’ll love you!”

“Oh God, I hope so. I’ve never taught before and i’m scared they’ll hate me and i’ll destroy their dreams and-” You ramble away without noticing the frown tugging at your neighbours brows.

“Teach me.”

Huh?

“What?” You freeze.

“You said you’ve never taught before,” Bucky steps closer to you, his cologne swarming around you like a warm hug, “so practise on me. Teach me something.”

You almost laugh at his words, mind immediately jumping to the conclusion that he’s joking. But Bucky doesn’t move, his blue eyes study your own, body so still that you fail to conjure a laugh. He’s not joking.

Hesitation is written across your features, drawing a single shake of Bucky’s head. “Come on, sweets. Please? For me?” He pleads.

“Okay.”

It’s scary how quickly you succumb to Bucky’s wishes; you fear you’d do awful things if only he asked and you’d even do it with a smile. You’re so doomed.

With a triumphant grin, Bucky plucks the dish cloth and plate from your grasp and carefully places them on the sink’s edge, before taking your hand in his and guiding you to your piano.

Nerves prickling beneath your skin, you trail behind him and silently revel in his touch. It’s hard to not stare at his perfect body as you stumble around furniture, the sharp muscles of his shoulders rippling as he tugs you with him. Flicking off the speaker on the way, you fall onto the small piano stool beside Bucky, and with such little room, your left thigh is pressed up against his. The solid curve of his muscles prod into your flesh and yet despite the fluttering it causes in your stomach, you’re far more focused on his hands.

From the bulge of his toned biceps to the trail of prominent veins in his forearms, your eyes drag down Bucky’s arms till you pause at the sight of his large hands. They lay spread across the span of his thighs, his right pinky finger mere atoms away from your exposed skin where your dress has ridden up. You find yourself craving the sparks that alight with his touch, so you adjust your position to make sure your leg brushes against his hand.

It certainly hasn’t gone amiss to the firefighter that you’ve taken a liking to his hands. Sure, he’s caught you staring at them before, but the hunger in your gaze right now is greater than ever.

The corner of Bucky’s lip turns up into a smirk as he reaches for your hands once more, lifting them to rest on the ivory keys of your piano.

“Wanna hear you play me something before you give me a lesson.” He admits, his words more of a demand than a question.

When you fail to respond, still caught up in scanning the crevices of his calloused hands, Bucky nudges your shoulder.

You shake your head with a dazed frown, “Huh?”

A playful chuckle falls from his pink lips, “I said play me something, sweets, before you start teachin’ me.”

You giggle sheepishly, sighing an ‘Oh’ before you gather your thoughts. Bucky returns his hands to his lap - a movement you struggle to ignore - giving you free rein of the instrument.

Running through some songs you could teach him, you settle for one of your favourites, or more accurately, one of Bucky’s favourites. The cool surface of the keys is harsh beneath your fingertips, a stark contrast to the Bucky-induced-heat flushing through your veins, hands stretching into place as you prepare the opening chords.

Rhythmic tones swarm around the two of you as you begin playing, masterfully dancing across the keys like it’s a second language. Your graceful motions always bring Bucky to a halt as you entrap him in your art.

He recognises the song straight away, lips turning up at the sweet melody. You didn’t even have to ask to know what he wanted to hear, you just knew. Bucky’s head feels light at the sight before him. A knowing grin has settled on your soft lips, your body ever so lightly swaying to the music, clearly getting lost the sounds.

It’s impossible not to feel the adoring stare of your neighbour, no matter how hard you try to ignore it. Warmth is pooling in the depths of your heart where it feels like you’re bleeding out, your love for Bucky forcing out the blood till the only thing circulating through your veins is him. No longer able to cope with the feelings swarming within you, your fingers abruptly stop mid song before you turn to look up at the firefighter.

“Okay, your go.” You state, but when Bucky raises a bemused brow your way, you continue to instruct him. “Come on. You’re gonna do the left hand, I’ll do the right.”

“Yes Ma’am!” Bucky chimes with a mock salute, earning him a glare.

It takes a few tries to move his fingers into the correct positions, both because he’s apparently wholeheartedly incapable of doing what you say but also because you may or may not zone out every time the veins of his hands stick out as he moves. But it’s still entirely his fault though. Entirely. ‘Maybe like 98% his fault. That’s seems fair.’ You think.

“There you go!” You cheer when the firefighter successfully plays the right notes in tandem.

“Would you look at that, not so useless after all.” Bucky winks at you and you blush lightly.

Glancing at him hopefully, you ask him to play the first chord you taught him.

“Oh, umm-“ He stutters, fingers flailing about and pressing random keys in search of the right pattern.

“Here, let me…” You chuckle sweetly at how utterly lost he looks and move to help him.

Leaning forward, you drag Bucky’s fingers over the ridges of ivorite, slowly placing them on the correct keys. You feel his lust-filled eyes trained on your face while you work, though it’s getting harder and harder to focus under his stare.

A frown tugs at your brows when your mind goes blank as to where Bucky needs to put his left hand, his still-wandering gaze burning into you and spreading to your cunt faster than you care to admit.

Of course, Bucky notices your breath quickening, chest stumbling up and down with shaky pants. His proximity is intoxicating and the will to fight it is slowly slipping past you, fingers itching to trace up Bucky’s thick arms to his neck so you can finally pull his lips to yours.

Bucky reads every inch of your skin like he’s studying for an exam. From the clench of your jaw to your eyes fluttering shut, he knows that he’s winning this tussle for control.

“Bucky…” You breathe, the wavering sigh rolling from your tongue like a stray secret.

“Yes, doll?” Bucky smirks with glinting eyes and you bite back a whimper.

Opening your eyes, you keep them trained on where yours rest on his. “I can’t focus with you looking at me like that.”

Bucky knows exactly what you mean but he can’t help but toy with you. “Like what?” He cocks his head with faux innocence that fools no one.

You turn to look up at the firefighter, eyes meeting his half lidded ones, the blue of his eyes barely visible behind his lust-blown pupils but the blue you can see is so impossible dark that you wonder if they were ever light in the first place.

Taking a breath, you wet your lips so briefly that Bucky nearly misses it. Nearly. “Like you want to kiss me.” You say, barely above a whisper.

“Oh,” Bucky sighs, leaning in closer, “I want to do much more than that.”

Your body is alight with need. Craving his touch, a breach of the barrier between you, you practically whine your reply. “Then why are you just staring?”

“Well, I wanna remember you like this; sweet, angelic, so perfect in your little sundress.“

With the back of his hand, Bucky nudges the hem of your dress higher till his whole hand is spread against your thigh. You quash the aching desire to glance at where your bodies meet and lock your eyes on Bucky’s, whose lips are turned into a knowing smirk.

“Gotta savour it while I can.” He says as he pushes his palm further to your inner thigh, his pinky finger mere inches from your heat.

“Why?” You ask, heart racing.

It dawns on you that you may actually pass out when the firefighter leans in close to you, nose pushing your hair aside to expose the soft skin of your neck which now sits defenceless to his advances. The heat of his breath is electrifying, lips nearing your pulse point eagerly.

Bucky’s lips ghost over your skin as he explains, “Cause once I’ve had my way with you, you’re gonna be a hot fucking mess, sweets.”

A breathy moan tumbles from the depths of you chest at the crude insinuations of his words; your eyes flutter shut, an unintentional reaction that you’re grateful for as it hides the way your pupils roll to the back of your head.

Through the dark span of your eyelids, you picture exactly how Bucky will make you a hot fucking mess. Spread legs with his tongue delving through your folds, back arched as he pounds into your pussy with vigour, his hands guiding your hips back to meet his as he fucks you from behind. The images bear too much for you yet you can’t stop picturing the salacious scenes, not when your neighbour is pressing open-mouthed kisses to the side of your neck.

“James…” You sigh, voice carrying the weight of a thousand pleas.

“Yeah? Is that what you want?”

Nodding your head desperately, you whine, unable to form any words beneath his sinful tongue.

“Words, doll.” Bucky says, lips hovering over your ear. He’s struggling to hold back but can’t let himself touch you the way he wants to until he hears you spell it out for him.

Turning your head slowly, you peer at Bucky with half-lidded eyes and a slack-jaw. “I want you, James. Please.”

That’s all it takes to disintegrate the final remnants of the firefighter’s self-control before his full lips meet your own with a hunger that’s been brewing for months.

Bucky’s lips glide across yours, slotting between your own so easily it’s got you believing this is not your first kiss. It’s soft and sweet but so goddamn sensual that you can’t help but moan into his mouth, the now open gap giving him the perfect chance to slide his tongue inside.

You bring your hands up Bucky’s body and rest them on his neck, fingers tentatively feeding through the hair at the nape of his neck while you jostle for control of the kiss.

Forced to pull back for breath, you take a peek only to find those strikingly blue eyes already on yours.

“Fuck, doll,” Bucky whispers, “you don’t know how long I’ve been waitin’ for this.”

“Probably not as long as I have.” You scoff.

“Then let me make up for lost time.”

“Wait, what do y-“

Within moments, Bucky is lifting your legs over the bench and is knelt between them, his large hands teasing the hem of your dress as he keeps your thighs spread apart.

Your mouth is agape with surprise while you grab onto the piano behind you for stability, a mixture of nerves and anticipation coursing through your veins. And as if he can read your anxious thoughts, Bucky looks up at you with the most sincere expression across his soft features.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks, despite the deep desire shining in his eyes. He wants you more than anything, but he needs to know you want him too.

It’s an easy answer and you’re shaking your head faster than you care to admit, but the memory of Bucky’s prior words flash through your mind and you still just as quick.

“No.”

Watching intently as he runs a hand from your ankle up to your knee, the firefighter rolls his bottom lip between his teeth when your breath hitches.

“Then promise me you’ll tell me if that changes?” Bucky asks.

You reach down and run your fingers through his chestnut locks, tucking the few loose strands behind his ear.

“I promise.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweets.”

A hearty laugh reverberates through you, but you’re quickly silenced by Bucky’s lips on your inner thigh, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. He kisses his way up to your heat, slowly pushing your dress higher and higher till the only thing between you and his mouth is the crimson lace panties covering your mound.

A sound you can only describe as a growl ripples through the room and you glance down at your neighbour to find him practically drooling at the sight of you. But then his eyes are on yours, his hungry, half-lidded eyes, and he’s tracing a finger over your clothed slit. Your breathing becomes laboured at his touch, your body, your mind, all of you at his mercy.

“Bucky, please…”

“Ah ah ah-“ The firefighter tuts, “-since when do you call me Bucky?”

You frown, back arching slightly in search of some friction on your core, too aroused to process his words properly.

“Look at me, Y/n.”

The stern nature of his tone lures your eyes to his once more. “What?” You ask, confused.

“I haven’t spent months goin’ crazy listening to you use my name only to have you call me Bucky when I’m finally between your legs.”

The throb of your pussy spurs you on and you tilt your head teasingly. “Touch me, James.” You say, and he obeys.

Bucky glides his hands up to your hips and drags your panties lower and lower, his lips chasing the lace till there’s no where left to kiss but your slick folds.

He hovers over your heat with bated breath before forcing himself to close his eyes and ask if you’re still okay with this.

“More than okay, James.” You answer truthfully.

“Good, cause I’m fucking starvin’.”

You feel his mouth on your pussy before you’ve even processed his words, tongue delving between your folds like he really is starving and you didn’t just feed him the best dinner he’s had in years. Though something tells him that title is about to be beaten the second you cum all over his face.

Your mouth curves into an ‘o’, the most pornographic of moans escaping you at the sinful sounds of Bucky’s mouth on your cunt. Drowning in increasingly intense waves of pleasure, your senses are dialled up to the max; with every flick of his tongue and suck on your clit, you find yourself falling deeper in your arousal. It becomes impossible to listen to anything Bucky’s telling you.

“Y’taste so sweet, doll.”

“Doing so good for me, aren’t ya? My good girl.”

“Let me hear you, doll, need to hear how good you feel.”

Whether it’s praises or orders, there’s no chance in hell of you understanding a word that falls from his lips, though Bucky doesn’t mind. The clench of your soft thighs around his head tells him all he needs to know - that even if your heads not fulling comprehending him, your body is. And the sheer amount of slick glistening across your cunt is enough for him to know that you’re ready for more.

The sensation of Bucky’s finger tracing along your pussy lips sends your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your hips lifting off the stool.

“James- oh fuck-“

Words die on your tongue when Bucky eases a finger inside you. White hot pleasure builds at your core, burning the last remnants of your self control, its embers coaxing a near-scream out of you.

“Fuck, that’s it, sweets. That’s- shit you’re so tight, pussy’s squeezing me and it’s just one finger.”

You mewl and squirm beneath him.

“How you gonna handle two of ‘em, doll?”

Bucky’s mesmerised at the sight of his finger gliding in and out of you, drenched in your sweet juices, too beautiful of a sight for him to give up by eating you out. But when you groan at the suggestion of two fingers, he drags his gaze upwards and is greeted with a view that’s evening better.

You, draped against the piano, head tilted back and brows drawn together while uneven sighs tumble from your swollen lips. God, you look heavenly, Bucky thinks. He doesn’t realise he’s said it out loud, but it makes little difference seeing as you’re rather preoccupied with the thought of Bucky fucking another finger inside you.

“James?” You call, reaching down to cover your left hand around the one at your sex, the other tugging on his hair.

“Yeah? Are you alright? Do you want me to stop?” He panics, thinking you’ve grabbed his hand to stop him.

Instead, you look him in the eye and say “Are you gunna fuck another finger inside of me or what?”

An awe-inspired grin spreads across Bucky’s face at your question. He keeps his blue orbs on yours while he presses a kiss to your clit and pushes himself higher till he’s inches from your face.

He rests a hand against the piano, caging you in and says, “Anything for my girl.” before a second digit joins his first.

The stretch knocks the wind out of your chest but Bucky hardly gives you any time to adjust, his fingers pumping in and out of you even faster than before. His palm slaps against your bundle of nerves with every thrust, the force riding to your chest where your tits bounce in rhythm.

“So damn beautiful…” The firefighter says.

You look up at him through your lashes and pull his lips to yours, tasting yourself on his tongue. With clashing teeth, the wet slapping sounds only feeds into the moment and Bucky’s suddenly very aware of the tightness in his jeans.

With each passing second, the cord in your stomach is getting so close to snapping that your mouth isn’t even moving against Bucky’s anymore.

“Fuck, James, I’m- I-“

“Shh, I know.” He presses a kiss to your forehead. “You gonna cum all over my fingers, doll? Gonna let me see you fall apart?”

You nod feverishly.

“Good girl, now let go for me.”

That’s all it takes for the damn to break loose and the fiercest orgasm of your life to rack through your body. It reaches every part of you, all the cracks and crevices you never thought could be touched, yet here you are, feeling every inch of yourself set on fire.

“That’s it, doll, that’s it.” Bucky comforts you while you lay victim to the aftershocks of his work, slowing the thrust of his fingers till your breathing evens and he moves to gently circling your sensitive clit.

“Holy shit…” You sigh, a satisfied and totally fucked-out grin playing across your lips.

Noticing how your hazy your eyes still are, Bucky smiles to himself while pressing loving kisses on your forehead.

“You did real good for me, sweetheart.” He listens to you hum beneath him as he moves to kiss your temple. “Y’look so pretty when you cum, you know that? Even prettier than I imagined.”

You twist in your seat to face your neighbour. “You’ve imagined this too?”

“Every night, doll.”

“Huh…”

Though Bucky’s eyes remain fixed on yours, it’s obvious that his mind has slipped away; he’s now clouded by memories of his x-rated dreams, ones that have ended with him pumping his embarrassingly hard length into his fist one too many times, and his cock twitches in his ever-tightening pants. You notice the movement at his crotch and, emboldened by his confession and the best orgasm you’ve ever had, you decide to take back some control.

“What have you pictured doing to me, James?” Your tone is so sweet, so innocent, that it takes a moment for your words to register in his brain. But when it does, boy, does a fresh wave of blood rush to his cock.

“You sure you wanna know? Cuz it ain’t all sweet and innocent.” He warns.

You say nothing and let your actions do all the talking; you slide a hand down to meet his left, the one still nestled between your sticky thighs, and tug it away from your cunt. With your eyes locked on his, you raise Bucky’s cum coated fingers to your mouth, slowly wrapping your lips around them and sucking your sweetness away. Making sure to give the firefighter a show, you swirl your tongue around his fingers before taking them as deep as you can, a knowing look in your eyes when you notice Bucky clenching his jaw.

After releasing his fingers from your swollen red lips, you press a kiss to the palm of his hand. “Tell me.”

What you can only describe as a growl rises from the back of Bucky’s throat and before you know it, you’re being carried to your bedroom, legs bound tightly around his waist while your arms wrap loosely around his neck.

He sits down on the edge of the bed; hands resting on your hips and edging lower to your ass, his fingers grip the supple flesh to keep you in place.

His force on your hips is pushing you down on his ample bulge, sparking a flash of pleasure straight up your spine that escapes you with a moan. Bucky chuckles softly with a sinful grin as you tilt your head back at the feeling.

“You wanna know what I’ve imagined us doing, doll?” The firefighter grabs your chin to bring your attention back to him. He runs the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, tugging on it and letting it bounce back into place.

“I’ve pictured us just like this.” He drops his hand to your neck, tracing the curve of your collar bone till it meets the strap of your sundress. “You, naked and beautiful as ever, riding my cock like I know you can.”

You gasp lightly when he tugs your strap till it’s tumbling off your shoulder.

“And you’re telling me just how full you are, how stretched your little pussy is around me, choking my cock like a damn vice.”

Bucky’s filthy words send your hips into motion without warning; you grind your bare cunt over his crotch, the tent in his pants settling between your slick folds till his shaft is enveloped with your warmth.

“Does that sound good, doll? To have my cock buried inside you when you bounce on it? Fuck, I bet your cunt is dripping for me again,”

“It never stopped, James.” You whimper, your sensitive clit sending jolts up your frame as Bucky guides your hips over his.

“That’s right, you’re never gonna use anything else to cum ever again. You got me now, doll. I’m all you need. Me, my cock, I’m gonna ruin everyone else for you.”

You don’t even notice that Bucky’s hands are on the zip at your back, slowly pulling it down till the fabric are your chest goes slack, and with the straps already draped over your shoulders, the flowing material cascades around you, tumbling to your hips and leaving you defenseless to Bucky’s insatiable blue eyes.

“Fuck me, sweets, you’re- god- you’re perfect.” He leans in and kisses your collarbone. “So,” kiss, “So,” kiss, “perfect.”

Your eyes flutter shut, lost in the feeling of his touch, and Bucky smirks when he sees you. He teases a hand up your soft skin till it sits just beneath your tit, daring to reach up and play with you in the ways he’s always dreamt of.

“Is this okay?” He asks, earning an even more passionate grind of your hips as you push your chest closer to his open mouth.

He chuckles, “Needy, aren’t ya, sweets?”

You whine.

“Hmm, lucky for you, this is exactly what I imagined doing to you, what I’ve dreamt of for months…”

His lips wrap around your hardened nipple with haste, the warmth of his mouth a welcome sensation. He sucks at the sensitive nub, this tongue reaching out to soothe you afterwards. You throw your head back and moan loudly.

The sound of bucky loudly licking and sucking on your tits is driving you crazy, to the point where your hips are stuttering over his, practically drowning in the feeling till you have no control over your movements.

“God, I love your tits. Wanna act out every dream I’ve ever had of you. Fucking your tits, your throat, your cunt, anywhere you’ll let me, doll, please. I’ve needed you for so long.”

You blush at the word love, surpressing the hope that is stirring at the possibility that your tits aren’t the only thing he loves. Has he really wanted this as long as me? You wonder, picturing everything he just revealed he’s been wanting.

“M’So fuckin’ hard for you sweetheart, I know you can feel me. Dick’s throbbing, doll, it’s s’hard it hurts.”

You pull at his hair so he’s looking up at you again and capture his lips in yours.

“I wanna see you, Bucky…”

He groans and reaches for the hem of his shirt which he waists no time in tearing off. Your chest rises and falls heavier than before, eyes raking his physique just like you had that night he was leaving the shower at his place.

You trail a finger down his abs till it brushes the button of his jeans teasingly.

“All of you, James.” You look pointedly at his crotch. “May I?” You ask and when he nods, you climb off his lap and sink between his legs on the floor, you dress tumbling to the ground immediately.

Bucky’s abs tense as you work to undo the button, your hands tiny in comparison to his body. Next, you work the zipper up and over the bulge of his cock, the teeth desperate to come apart after being so constricted for so long. The two sides of denim snap away from the tent of his boxers, perfectly presenting where the firefighter so badly needs your touch.

He helps you kick off his jeans till the only thing between you is his boxers. You trace a finger up and down his shaft through the cotton, enjoying the sticky patch of pre cum leaking through the top.

“Have you ever imagined me sucking your cock, James?” You ask with half lidded eyes before kissing his covered shaft. “Cause I have.”

Bucky whimpers - whimpers - at your words, his hips snapping up to your face uncontrollably.

You begin to drag down his boxers, trailing kisses down down down, your lips greeting his tip when his cock flicks up against them before your eyes even get chance to glance at him.

Your eyes flutter shut at the salty taste on your lips, revelling in the breathy moans from your neighbour.

“Fuck- pl-please honey, I need your- argh- mouth around me!”

You make eye contact with him from your place on the floor and ask if he’s sure.

“More than anything.”

And with that, you take his thick length into your mouth, lips sealing around his angry pink cock head briefly when your trace your tongue over his slit, before gliding lower down his cock.

You take as much of him as you can, but you need time to warm up having never taken a cock as large as his before.

“You’re so big, baby.” You say as you pull off his shaft with a pop, “Biggest I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

A frustrated groan arises from the firefighter and you feel his hand on the back of your head, gently pushing you to his dick once more.

“Suck my cock, doll, just like we’ve both imagined, nice and deep, please.”

You take the base of his cock in your hands and guide his tip back to your lips.

“Atta girl,” Bucky encourages as you take him deeper and deeper.

He feels you relaxing your throat to take more of him and his balls clench at the feeling.

“Argh fuck, fuck, fuck. Good girl, oh my god, yes!”

His praises and curses cheer you on and you manage as much of him as you can, only an inch or so remaining that’s simply too thick to fit in your mouth. Lord knows how he’ll fit in your pussy, but you’re sure he’ll figure it out.

You bob your head on his length over and over till you’re in desperate need of air. You let your hands work your spit and his precum up and down his hard cock while you catch your breath and watch his beautiful face contort into one of extreme pleasure.

Your chest fills with pride at Bucky’s facial expressions; making him feel good is somehow more rewarding than anything you’ve done in your life and you find yourself content at the thought of spending the rest of your days pleasing him.

Bucky is oblivious to the gratified smile toying your lips and wholly unprepared for your next movement.

“Oh god- oh fuck, doll-” He groans, his breathing staggered and eyes clenched shut when you take his balls in your mouth, the skin sloppily wet from your work on his cock, and now enjoying the warmth of your mouth.

“Oh honey, do that again, felt so go- argh!” He’s interrupted by you tending to his sack once more, your tongue swirling around them and lightly sucking.

You moan around his pretty, swollen balls, the vibrations drawing a sigh of pleasure from your neighbour. The trimmed hair at the base of Bucky’s member is tickling your nose while you fight to taste every part of him.

With a final sharp suck, you release his balls with a small plop, plant a wet kiss on each and flatten you tongue to lick a bold stripe up his length. The tip of your muscle presses into the vein on the underside of his dick and Bucky thrusts upward, his hips bucking as he desperately searches for more.

As you ready yourself to glide his cock down your throat once more, you feel Bucky’s hand on your cheek, pulling you off him.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You ask with a concerned frown, nervous that you’ve done something wrong to have Bucky stopping you. You wrap your hand around his forearm, the one outstretched to hold your hair, while the other remains enclosed around his cock.

“Nothin’ bad, sweets, it’s just that- fuck-“

You absentmindedly stroke your thumb over his girth, a motion you intend to be comforting but in reality, it just makes him throb even harder in your hands.

“-I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep using your pretty mouth like that.”

“And that’s a problem because…?”

He laughs lightly and tucks your hair behind your ear. “Cause as hot as you’d look swallowing my load, I’d much rather cum inside that sweet pussy for our first time.”

You roll your bottom lip between your teeth before pecking a doting kiss to his forearm and letting Bucky pull you to your feet. His eyes follow yours till he’s looking up at you from his seated position, his hands falling to your hips with an awestruck face.

“What the hell did I do to deserve you?” His voice is barely above a whisper. You blush crimson.

“Get on the bed, doll.” He orders. “Lay on your back.”

You do as he says and once you’ve settled, he crawls on top of you. It’s quiet for a moment as Bucky stares lovingly down at you, burning the image into his memory to remind him he has everything he needs.

“I should have found the guts to do this months ago…” You murmur, pushing the fallen tendrils of chestnut hair behind his ear. He looks so goddamn perfect; the golden glow filtering through your window catching every feature you’ve spent so long dreaming about, and now he’s here, really here, and you can’t help but stroke his cheek with revere.

“We have now, doll. That’s enough for me.” Bucky whispers. “Are you comfortable?”

You nod, truthfully, both in terms of your position but also for what’s coming. But then his elbows bend out and he’s lowering himself onto you.

“How about now?”

There’s a gleam in his eye and a playful smirk on his lips as he watches your chest heave, your body taking more of his weight now.

“No!” You giggle.

“No? Is this better?” Bucky teases, briefly laying his whole weight over you until you paw at his shoulders to push him off.

“James! You’re squishing me!”

The melody of your carefree laughter has Bucky melting and he pushes himself up onto his hands once more. His lip is tucked between his teeth, enjoying the view as he becomes increasingly aware of his cock now just one slip away from your pussy lips.

Quickly coming to your own awareness of Bucky’s rock hard length pressing into you, you sober up.

“Darling?” You tug on his bottom lip with the pad of your thumb.

Bucky’s brows pinch closer slightly.

“I need you inside me.”

His soft lips are crashing against yours within moments, his hand fighting between the nonexistent space between your bare bodies to grasp his cock and guide his tip to your bundle of nerves.

The sudden taste of how good Bucky can make you feel forces a sharp breath from you. It’s so much yet not enough, all at the same time.

“Tell me if you need me to stop, okay? Let me take care of you how you deserve.”

After a meek nod with your hands finding refuge in Bucky’s soft locks, he trails his cock head down your pink folds till it catches on the dip of your entrance.

Bucky tempts a whimper from you as he slides inside of you, your walls stretching to accommodate his larger than average member.

“Fuck, doll, you’re so tight for me.” The firefighter moans, resisting the urge to snap his hips and bottom out completely.

You’ve yet to make a sound, the sting in your pussy not yet dissipating, and when you glance down at where your bodies meet, you realise you’re barely taking half of him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Bucky’s reassuring voice is ghosting over your ear, “you’re taking me so well, sweets. You need me to go slower?”

You clench your eyes shut briefly, “No, keep going, you’re just so…”

“So what?”

Bucky watches a deep red creep up your neck before returning his gaze to your eyes, that now dance across the room avoiding him.

A gentle grasp on your chin draws you to face the breathtaking man above you and you clench around his dick.

“What happened to the little minx who was practically beggin’ me to fuck her, huh? Don’t get all shy on me now, dollface. I’m so what?”

His words have you spilling yours without second thought. “You’re so fucking thick, James, cock’s splittin’ me in half.”

He groans and snaps his hips fully into yours, making you scream out, “Jamie!!!”

His scalp burns when you pull on his hair harder than before, your moans filling the room like a broken record. Bucky should be focused on the furrow of your brow, your laboured breaths, the way your cunt is choking him, anything about how perfect this feels, but all he can focus on is how with one thrust, you called him ‘Jamie’. And you didn’t just say it, you screamed it.

“Shit, honey, say it again.”

“Ja-Jamie…” You whine and feel Bucky draw his hips back before pounding into you once more.

“Again.” Your neighbour growls.

“Oh my god, fuck- I”

“Again.”

It takes everything you have to open your eyes and look at him. “Fuck me, Jamie.”

“That’s my girl.”

Bucky drives his length into you till his tip is hitting your cervix, the pleasure wrapping around your throat and squeezing the air out of you. You fight to breathe as Bucky drills into you, over and over, softly grunting with every thrust.

“Never felt anything as good as your cunt before, doll. Wanna spend the rest of my life buried inside you.”

You pull his lips to yours and, back arching from the mattress, dive your tongue into his mouth with vigour. He lets you explore his mouth while fucking you deep and fast, the headboard of your bed slamming against the wall and probably driving your neighbour crazy. Oh wait, he is your neighbour, and it is driving him crazy, but in the best way imaginable.

“So goddamn tight, sweets, y’pussy was made for me,” He swallows your whimpers happily, “don’t you think? You feel how good i’m filling you up, honey? Sliding in an’ out so easy, you’re so fucking wet for my dick.”

“Harder, Jamie.”

Goddamn.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll do whatever you want.”

You lose yourself in his thrusts; the sting has long turned into the most pleasure you’ve ever felt, and that’s saying something after the orgasm he lulled from you only a few minutes ago.

“Fuckin’ me s-so good, Jamie.”

“Ah- just like that, baby.”

“I’m getting close, James, need you to go faster.”

Your pleas send Bucky’s cock pulsing and he does exactly as you wish. He fucks you faster, fighting off the desperate urge to cum inside your sweet cunt.

“Jamie…” You sigh.

He grins up at you from his place at your tits, his tongue reaching out to tease your nipples. You push his head down till he takes your sensitive bud in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue over it while he gropes its twin.

The tight coil in your stomach is twisting to its limit and you find yourself dangerously close to cumming around Bucky’s hard, thick length.

“I’m so- oh fuck- i’m so close, James.”

He lifts his head and eyes you with lust blown pupils.

“Are you gonna cum for me, doll? God, I can feel you clenching around me, you wanna cream all over my cock? Huh?” He smirks at your pornographic moans. “Bet I’ll look so good covered in your cum, sweets, maybe I’ll let you clean me up, put that mouth to good use.”

“I’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum,” You chant several times breathlessly.

“Let go for me, sweet girl, make a mess o’my cock. Cum, doll.”

Your body shudders as your hips grind up into Bucky’s, your walls tightening before he feels you gush around him. Practically screaming in pleasure, you bite down on Bucky’s shoulder to quiet yourself, though the pain travels straight to his member, still fucking into you with force.

“Fuck, James, you’re so perfect, never came so hard in my life- shit-“

He’s groaning into your ear, his balls slamming against you and filling the room with salacious wet slaps.

“You’re so wet and- fuck- I can’t- I can’t hold back much longer.”

You tug on the hair at the nape of his neck and lick up the side of his throat, tongue catching the salty beads of sweat in its path. Reaching his earlobe, you suck on it lightly and whisper into his ear.

“Want you to cum inside me, Jamie. Fill me up, please, I need your cum.”

“Argh, fuck!!” Your words send Bucky over the edge and his hips stutter while he finally lets go.

“Oh god, yes!” Bucky grunts. “Take my cum, doll, fuckin’ take it.”

Your tongue seeks his neck once more, pressing open mouthed kisses as his cock shoots streams of white seed into you, the spurts seemingly never ending.

“Fillin’ my cunt so much, Jamie- fuck- you feel so good!”

As his cock softens, his thrusts slow to a more bearable pace, both of you so sensitive from your orgasms. Catching your breath takes a minute or two, but in the meantime, you coax satisfied sighs from your firefighter by running your hands up and down his back; the light sheen of sweat greets your fingertips as you touch him tenderly.

With no words being shared, you focus solely on Bucky’s breathing, the rise and fall of his back beneath your hands and the weight of his body on yours. It should be uncomfortable, but you’ve never felt so at home in a place, let alone with a person, in your life.

“That was…” Bucky murmurs into your neck.

You finish his sentence, “Pretty damn good.” Laughter ripples through the muscles of his back.

“Yeah,” He agrees and pulls back slightly to look at you, “you feeling okay?”

“If by okay you mean ‘completely and utterly fucked out’ then yeah, I’m great.”

You grin cheekily before pushing his hair behind his ear yet again, an act you find yourself praying that you’ll get to do for the rest of your life.

“How are you feeling?” You ask sincerely.

Those blue orbs flick between your own, laced with an emotion you hope to be love. “Like I want to be with you like this forever.” Bucky admits. “That and completely and utterly fucked out.”

You laugh heartily, bringing a beaming smile to Bucky’s swollen red lips.

“Let me clean you up, doll.” He offers before pushing himself off you, much to your dismay. He disappears to your bathroom for a minute before returning with a damp cloth in hand.

“Can you spread your legs for me, sweets?”

He bites a chuckle at how quickly you obey him and gets to work, wiping away your shared cum from your pussy and goosebump-ridden thighs. The towel is warm and soft on your skin, lulling you to sleep, though you fight to keep your eyes on your neighbour.

“You’re so beautiful, James.” You say, reaching to place your hand on his that sits beside you hip, where he’s leaning his weight.

He smiles sheepishly and focuses on the job at hand. Once you’re clean, Bucky carries you to the bathroom so you can do your business, waiting patiently outside after putting his boxers back on and grabbing his henley for you to wear.

When you step out of the bathroom, Bucky’s holding his he let out in front of you. “You looked a bit cold so I thought you might want a shirt?”

You smile, “Your shirt?”

“Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck, muscles flexing at the movement, “You don’t have to, I just thou-“

He stops talking when you pull the henley from his grasp and tug it over your head. It swallows you whole and the sleeves tumble past your hands, but Bucky thinks it’s perfect. You’re perfect.

Grabbing his hand, you pull him back to your room and back into bed, tugging the sheets over you both where you nestle into his chest.

“You’re staying, right?” You ask with the most puppy-dog eyes you can muster.

“Of course, doll.”

Smiling to yourself, you curl up against the firefighter. “Woulda cooked you a meal months ago if I knew that’s all it took for you to finally fuck me.”

a/n: filth. pure filth. so sorry that it took me a lifetime to post this - life got lifey and it took me ages to get this right. it’s my second time writing any sort of smut so i hope it was good for y’all. thanks for all the support, it means the world to me. love you guys, red ❤️

comment if you’d like to be added to the ashes to embers taglist 🧡

taglist: @armystay89 @rabbitrabbit12321 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @harrystylesandthegoobs @zannemes @noonespecial90 @m3ntally-unstable @blackbirdwitch22 @wintrsoldrluvr @pingpongfingfong @belleofthebooks @larienjenova @chaosbarelycontained @mostlymarvelgirl @trustworthy-jellyfish @ozwriterchick @nervousnerdwitch @suz7days @bethexo07 @ace-27749 @bellabarnes1378 @angelbabyyy99 @selella @itvy5601 @noonespecial90 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @ordelixx @krispybearbouquet @matchat3a @cl7ire @sunglasses-in-the-bentley @julvrs @anghstybean @eah-marvel-trolls @pono-pura-vida @touchstarvedforbuckybarnes

[mclqren]

GOOD LUCK CHARM ★ OP81

PAIRING ✦ oscar piastri x fem!sainz!reader

SUMMARY ✦ oscar has been dating his opponent's sister since his f2 days, and while carlos seemingly disapproves, no one can deny that she is the good luck charm. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing, like one joke about biting someone, some hate comments towards the end

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is spanish. i have used various brunette faceclaims from pinterest, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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yourusername home 🇪🇸❤️

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user1 DREAM LIFESTYLEEE!!

user2 oh y/n you are so so perfect

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yourbsf te amo, mi mejor amiga 💗💗

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user4 the way her feed is like a pinterest board is so comforting to me

oscarpiastri missing you ☹️☹️

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user5 PARENTS

oscarpiastri im a lucky guy 😍

carlossainz55 and dont you ever forget that.

yourusername carlos 😐😐

carlossainz55 older brother duties, y/n!

iamrebeccad gorgeous girl 💘

yourusername all you, angel ❤️

yourusername

( caption one: ✈️✈️ | caption two: view for the evening ❤️ )

oscarpiastri YOU'RE HERE???

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oscarpiastri WHY DIDN'T YOU MESSAGE ME SOONER

yourusername I DID??? CHECK MESSAGES.

imessages ( oscar )

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tagged oscarpiastri

yourusername monaco nights 🌃🌃

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user6 miss y/n WOWWW!!

user7 so so jealous i wish i was in monaco rn ☹️

user8 don't we all 😢😢

alexandrasaintmleux most gorgeous ever 😍

yourusername ALEX I LOVE YOU 💋

alexandrasaintmleux MWAHHH 💋

carlossainz55 mi hermana ❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

oscarpiastri 😍

carlossainz55 😐

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 61,111 others

tagged oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername so like...we're all somehow connected now? 😬 (to avoid jealousy issues i posted all three of them)

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user9 TWO LECLERCS & A SAINZ ON THE PODIUM

user10 HAHAHA SO TRUE

user11 the way y/n is in on the joke now 🤣

user12 okay but y/n and alex's friendship makes me melt

user13 both of them are princesses 🩷

oscarpiastri the caption 😐

carlossainz55 usually i wouldn't agree, but y/n...

yourusername so the caption did a good thing then, yes? 😁

charles_leclerc 😁❤️

yourusername was about to call you my brother from another mother, but given the recent adoption of my boyfriend i don't think i can legally say that anymore.

oscarpiastri whoops? 🤷

user14 Y/N 😭😭

alexandrasaintmleux my girl 🩷

yourusername forever and ever and ever ♾️

landonorris so where was my post when i won...?

yourusername not required ❤️

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 45,009 others

yourusername need a ginger cat in my life so bad 🐈

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user15 is she back in spain? 👀

user16 well the spanish gp is this weekend so i'd assume so!

user17 SO REAL FOR THIS

user18 real question now...what would you call your hypothetical ginger cat.

yourusername wasabi 😁😁

user19 ADORABLE NAME.

user20 @/oscarpiastri where's her ginger cat at

oscarpiastri when i win, she'll get a ginger cat☝️

yourusername WAIT ACTUALLY WHAT. WASABI PENDING 🗣️🗣️🗣️

user20 I DID NOT THINK YOU'D BOTH REPLY. (also you're welcome y/n!!)

carlossainz55 and do our dogs mean nothing to you??

yourusername i've always been a cat lady at heart ☹️

landonorris i blame oscar.

carlossainz55 agreed.

oscarpiastri SORRY???

landonorris it's your cat energy, mate

yourusername

( caption one: always on the move 😴 | caption two: day out in austria w the girlies ❤️ + tags )

liked by oscarpiastri, iamrebeccad, and 52,333 others

tagged alexandrasaintmleux, iamrebeccad, oscarpiastri

yourusername still dreaming of those pastries

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user20 THE DAISIES AWWW

user21 living my dream frfr

user22 straight out of a pinterest board

user23 HER POSTURE???

user24 im sitting at home with my hunched back aspiring to be like her right now

user25 those pastries look yummy oh my days

user26 every time i see the ferrari wags & y/n hanging out i involuntarily squeal

carlossainz55 so my invite got lost in the post?

charles_leclerc and mine?

iamrebeccad girls day out = no men allowed

yourusername what my girlfriend said 🗣️

oscarpiastri sorry??

yourbsf pastries looking almost as delicious as you 😉😉

yourusername ugh i miss you so bad, my gf 💔💔💔

oscarpiastri STOP FLIRTING Y/N

yourusername YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME 🎤

yourusername

( caption one: shattered but we move! )

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 44,901 others

yourusername solo exploring 🚶‍♀️

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user33 saw you posted and I RAN

user34 LOOKS SO BEAUTIFULLL!!

user35 she's in hungary 👀👀👀

user36 twitter is in an uproar waiting for the race weekend

user37 SO AM I 🔥🔥🔥 GO ON OSCARRR

user38 what a beauttt

user39 the claw clip 💘💘

yourusername a taste from home ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux angelllll 🩷

yourusername love you smsmsmsm ❤️❤️

oscarpiastri wish i could've been there 💔

user40 you've got a race to win so your gf can get a ginger cat, get to it 🤣

yourusername ^^^ what they said!!

user40 HELP YOU ACC REPLIED LOL

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 88,321 others

tagged oscarpiastri

yourusername WASABI WASABI WASABI!! (ps. check my page for celebratory post for my love x)

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user44 y/n has her priorities in order

user45 mhm!! wasabi > anything else

user46 SUCH A CUTE CAT

user47 'FOR MY LOVE' oh my god im not well.

user48 okay but does no one else find it weird that she posted her new cat over her boyfriend winning...

user49 no ong like what

yourusername oh dear not the fun police. please learn how to read captions, and check my recent 😘x

landonorris LET ME COME OVER AND SEE WASABI NOWWWW

yourusername jury's out rn sorry

landonorris pls. pls. pls. pls.

yourusername i'll consider it...

alexandrasaintmleux wasabi 🥺🥺

yourusername have you checked if leo is volatile with cats yet...

alexandrasaintmleux @/charles_leclerc pet play date!!!

oscarpiastri our baby ❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

user50 Y/N IS HIS GOOD LUCK CHARM CONFIRMED!!

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 92,122 others

tagged oscarpiastri

yourusername MY GRAND PRIX WINNERRR!! i still remember meeting you when you were still in f2: carlos hated the fact that i kept watching the f2 feature races just to see (fawn over) you, but it worked in my favor anyway 🤷‍♀️ forever so so so proud of you, here's to many more 🥂❤️

comments for this post have been restricted

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

yourusername earned the stamp of approval now...?

carlossainz55 for now. 😊😊

oscarpiastri new cat, winning a grand prix and your brother finally likes me? what a weekend 😁❤️

yourusername he always liked you, he just likes teasing you 🙄

carlossainz55 y/n 🙄🤣

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[specialagentlokitty]

Will Graham x teen!reader - our support animals

Hi I would like a request for Will Graham and teen Reader getting a dog and somehow gets an old boy who was returned 5 times? - Anon💜

Sitting on the steps in front of your school, you glanced down at your watch in order to check the time, wondering if it was worth just going for a walk or not.

You didn’t want to be at school, so you had messaged Will asking if he could come pick you up since you didn’t know who else to call at this point.

Finally you saw his car pulling up outside, and you got up, making your way to the passenger side in order to get in.

“Thanks for getting me…” you mumbled.

“Are you okay?” Will asked.

You gave a small shrug, resting your head on the window as you watched everything just rolling by.

“Not ready to go back?”

“No… I don’t know I just… all those people.. all looking at me.. I don’t know..”

Will glanced at you, turning his attention back to the road.

“They know what happened.” He said.

“I mean who doesn’t at this point? My parents were murdered a nearly a year ago, they weren’t all that great at parents anyways and now im in the care of an FBI agent who isn’t really FBI agent. I missed the rest of the school year last year and news travels fast I guess.”

“You don’t have to be in my care if you don’t want to be. Children’s services already said they can easily find you a home if you want it.”

You whipped your head around to look at him.

“No!”

You frowned a little.

“I just… I don’t.. they’ll all be happy families…”

“You can’t be around that right now, I understand that.”

You nodded your head, looking back to the road, trying to figure out where you guys were going.

“I’m sorry I made you leave work.”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t doing anything interesting anyway, and I don’t think I could have sat there listening to Jack for much longer.”

This made you smile a little bit, and you look at him.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll find out a minute.”

You turned back to watching the roads go by, and finally Will pulled the car into a parking lot, and you climbed out of the car.

“A rescue?”

“I know you love the dogs, you get sad when they all follow me not you. So, we’re going to get you your own dog, Hannibal believes having a pet may help in your recovery.”

You furrowed your brow and Will opened the door to the rescue, gesturing for you to enter, and you did looking around.

While he went to talk to the people in the reception, you looked around, wondering about to look at posters and photos of the animals they had up for adoption.

You weren’t paying that much attention to anything else that going on, and every so often Will would glance at you to make sure that you were still there.

“(Y/N), please don’t wonder away.”

You turned to look at Will and he held his arm out to you.

You walked over and stood next to him, you turned away from the receptionist, and Will kept a hand on your shoulder.

“Is there anything specific you’re looking for in a pet?” The woman asked.

Will looked down at you and you shook your head.

“Can we just look at them all?”

“If you want to then yes.” He smiled.

He carried on speaking to the woman, and you stretched a little bit, letting out a yawn as you waited.

Finally you were allowed to walk through and have a look at all the dogs.

There was a lot of barking, and in a strange way it put you at ease, living with Will as your caretaker for nearly a year had made you used to the sounds of barking.

“What about this one?” Will asked.

You walked over to him.

“It says her name is Luna, she’s a husky, she’s two years old, is very friendly, gets along with other dogs, was surrendered because the family couldn’t keep up with the upkeep of a husky.”

You looked at Luna, crouching down to see her better, and she paced back and forth, tail wagging happily.

“She’s really cute.”

“Do you want to keep looking?”

You nodded, letting Will help you stand up.

You carried on slowly wondering, stopping to look at all the dogs you past, Will would read you the information about them and you would keep wondering.

Will had taken particular interest in one of the dogs and you kept looking around at all of them until you reached the end kennel.

You carefully read over the information on the board and you sat down on the floor.

“Hey Enzo…”

The old Labrador lazily wagged his tail as he wondered over, laying down in front of the door, resting his head on his paws.

“Will?”

You turned to look at him and he got up, following after you.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I want Enzo.”

Will knelt down next to you, looking at the old dog.

“Yeah? What’s his story?”

“They’re not sure how old he is, but they do know he’s old. He’s been returned five times, apparently nobody wants to keep cause he’s old. That’s not fair…”

“It’s not.”

Will got up, placing a hand on your head to get your attention.

“Let’s go get one of the staff.”

“Can I stay with Enzo?”

Will glanced around, he didn’t seem so sure about the idea of leaving you alone there, but he saw there was only one entrance and exit.

“Alright, I’ll be just a minute.”

Will made his way to get a member of staff so you could meet the old Labrador and you sat on the floor, Enzo resting against your chest as you hugged him.

Will and the worker both smiled at the scene of you just cuddling this old dog who had been returned so many times.

“We’ll adopt him.” Will said.

You turned around to Will, smiling from ear to ear at him.

“I love him, he’s so sweet.”

“Well you have to love him because he’s yours and we’re not bringing him back.”

“Good.” You said.

Will filled out all the paperwork while you sat in the back of his car with Enzo, just happily petting the dogs head.

You were excited to bring Enzo back to meet all of Will’s dogs, and Enzo was pretty happy to go around with them all, wondering and exploring his new home.

You sat on the floor, waiting for him to come back so you could go back to petting him.

Will was sitting on the couch, stroking one of the other dogs.

“Do you think he knows any tricks?” You asked.

“I’m not sure, you’ll have to try. Go get the dog treats.”

You jumped up, running to the kitchen to get the dog treats and you sat on the couch next to Will, handing them to him.

You didn’t know as much about dogs as Will did, so you decided to let him see if Enzo knew any tricks or anything of the sort.

“Enzo come here boy!” You called.

The old slowly wondered over, stretching a little as he approached.

“Here, just hold this in your hand, let him see it.”

You did want Will said.

“Now, just say his name and whatever it is you’re wanting him to do.”

“Enzo sit.”

The old dog sat down, along with a few others.

“Now, give him the treat, scratch his head and tell him he’s a good dog. Positive actions mean he’ll bond to you more.”

“Good boy Enzo.”

You handed the Labrador his treat, and ruffled the fur behind his ears, grinning from ear to ear.

“We’ll get him settled in before we take him outside, and we’ll rest his recall while we’re here too.”

“Recall?”

You turned to look at Will.

“Yes. It’s how well an animal responds when you call their name, call them back to you, especially off leash dogs it’s very important.”

“Oh, if he doesn’t have good recall can we teach him it.”

Will smiled a little.

“Yeah, we can try to.”

“He’s gonna be my dog, you’re not allowed Enzo.”

Will chuckled a little bit at you.

“What if he likes me more?”

“Nope. He’s my dog.”

You sat back on the couch, patting your legs for Enzo, and he lazily climbed up, laying himself next to you with his head resting on your legs.

“Oh (Y/N) come on.”

Will had to stand up to let the dog lay down properly and you grinned from ear to ear at him.

“Do you want dinner yet?” Will asked.

“Uh, not yet. I’m not hungry. Can I help you cook it soon though? I don’t know how to cook.”

“I’ll teach you.”

You smiled, turning your attention back to Enzo and Will wondered away to do his own thing, happy that you were content there with your new family member.

He was hoping Enzo would help you in ways that he couldn’t, and since you refused to take part in any therapy he was hoping Enzo could be that support you needed especially on days when he couldn’t figure out how to help you.

Maybe there wasn’t fully enough room for another dog, but Will didn’t care about that, he could just adjust things a little if he needed too.

He had all his strays, and now you had Enzo, you both had your dogs for support, and you both had each other even if neither of you spoke about how you had fallen into Will’s care.

It didn’t matter, what mattered to Will now was keeping you safe and happy.

“Do you think he likes snow?” You called.

“I don’t know, we’ll find out soon.” He called back.

“Can he stay in my room?”

Will poked his head out for the kitchen.

“He can stay wherever you want him too (Y/N).”

You nodded your head, laying down on the couch to hug your new best friend

[icaruspendragon]

im sorry to ask but i dont know what else to do—how did you do it how did you dig yourself out because it feels like i am choking on dirt and people keep shoveling it onto me and i miss her so much and i dont know how to make this feeling stop. she was my best friend. ive never lived in a world without her before. how did you do it. how are you doing it

grief is so hard and so heavy when we first meet it. it feels like all our arms will ever hold for the rest of forever. and it is, in a sense. once we pick it up, we never really set it down. not fully.

and I don't think it gets lighter, I think we somehow, impossibly, get stronger.

there's lots of metaphors for grief. that's one of them. another one I like to use is that it feels like you're in the grave with them. like lazarus. like yourself. waiting for someone to raise you from the dead. to raise you both.

I've learned a lot about crawling out of the grave. more than I would have ever wanted to learn. like how emptiness is actually quite heavy. or how to pretend like you feel half-alive. but I think the most important thing I've learned is that somedays, we inexplicably end up back in it. and that sucks.

because we just spent months clawing our way through the bugs and the earth. because our soldier-hands have finally breached the surface. because the sun is finally caressing our hell-fresh faces. because for the first time in months we feel like we can finally breath. and then, suddenly, we're right back in the terrible thick of it.

those days make it feel like I'm sisyphus and grave dirt is my rock. or like I'm prometheus and the darkness is my eagle.

but then it's tuesday.

which is to say my brother died on my 25th birthday, a monday. and that day is now a memory that's fuzzy around the edges. single snapshots I know are connected, but I couldn't tell you how. I remember my mother standing in my bedroom and tears and family and phone calls and cleaning my living room because I didn't know what to do with my hands. I remember going to my grandmothers and my phone vibrating off the table and leaving to go get coffee because I couldn't sit still. I remember joking, trying to joke. trying to do whatever I could to make sense of that impossible day. I remember checking my phone and reading and rereading the messages, a mixed bag of congratulations for surviving another year and condolences that my brother didn't, I remember not knowing how to respond to any of them. so I didn't. I remember being surrounded by so many people doing nothing but extending love and kindness to me and never feeling more alone. the world was ending and I was alone. I thought that day would go on forever.

but it didn't.

it ended, as all things do. monday was over and my first day as an only child was done.

and suddenly it was tuesday. and everything was different but also exactly the same.

it was tuesday and my brother was dead. I was so heavy when I woke up that first tuesday. so heavy and confused. I thought the world had ended. it surely felt like it had. but it hadn't. because the world couldn't have ended on monday.

not if it was tuesday.

it was tuesday and my brother was dead but the world wasn't ending. monday should have been our demise, but it wasn't. and it hasn't. and it won't. because just as sure as we have mondays, we'll always have tuesdays.

that's something I've taken a strange comfort in, knowing that we'll always have tuesdays.

the feeling never stops. but I think that's okay. because you're only feeling that way because there was love first. and as much as what I felt on that first tuesday hurts, as much as it suffocates, as much as it consumes, I'd take the hurt and the suffocation and the consumption because the love I felt first will always, always be worth it.

tuesdays will always be worth it.

like yeah, if I loved less, it wouldn't hurt this bad. but I don't want to live in a world where I have to love less. where I was loved less.

I'll take the pain. I'll take the grave days. I'll take the rock. I'll take the eagle. I'll take apocalyptic, earthshaking mondays. I'll take every last wretched bit because goddamn what a miracle it is to love so bad it hurts this big.

I hold that love, his love for me and my love for him, a love that's now become our love in the cage of my ribs while I'm in the cage of the grave. and I dig.

it's monday and I dig.

I dig.

and then tuesday comes.

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Longing

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 10 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

Chan Hey, just checking in. How’s your dad? Y/N He’s good, awake and lucid Doctors say everything went smoothly, he should make a full recovery Chan That’s good. Y/N How are the boys? Chan Missing you. Img.png Y/N Tell them I miss them too Chan I will. Give your dad our best wishes. Y/N Thanks

0o0o0

Sophie Hey, I just got your message Are you okay? Y/N Don’t worry, I’m fine. My dad’s okay too I didn’t get a chance to update you Had a lot on my mind Sophie No, yeah. I get it Y/N How was the day 2 concert? Sophie Just as amazing as day 1 Well, actually it was a bit weird I felt like the members weren’t as playful as the first time around. It seemed like they had a lot on their mind too … Maybe it was just one of those days Y/N Yeah, I guess Sophie Either way, it’s a shame we didn’t get to hang out more before you left I’m glad your dad’s okay Y/N Me too. If I’m ever back in the city, I’ll let you know Sophie Of course. In the meantime, want to see some videos from last night? Y/N Sure!

0o0o0

Y/N You sure you don’t want anything from the store? Mom I’m sure sweetie, thank you. Y/N Ok Mom Hey, while I have a chance to talk to you without your dad listening in. We need to talk about your soulmates. Y/N What about them? Mom Sweetheart, I remember when I met my soulmate. We were inseparable for weeks. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it is to be away from them right now. Y/N Mom … Mom I mean, even now, not being able to see her makes me uncomfortable. Why do you think we have our weekly Friday night meet ups? Y/N I thought that was just an excuse to go out and complain about Dan from finances Mom You and I both know I don’t need an excuse to complain about Dan. But that’s not the point. I can’t stand not being with Lucy. And we’re only platonic soulmates. From what I’ve heard, that’s definitely not the case with you. Y/N Mom! Mom You should be with your soulmates. Y/N Dad’s still in recovery, mom You can’t take care of him yourself, you have work and your health issues … You need help. They understand, we can make it work Besides, they’re on tour. I was going to have to be away from them for a while anyway It’s not like I could just go on tour with them Mom I’m sure that’s not true. Y/N Im almost back at the room. We can talk about this later

0o0o0

Soulmates

Y/N Hey Did you guys land yet? Seungmin Few minutes ago Felix Hi!!! How are you?! I’m good Felix, thank you ^^ Seungmin Img.png Img.png Img.png Felix YAH! Seungmin wtf!??! Seungmin Not my fault you all fell asleep on the plane Felix So you decided to photograph us?!!? Seungmin Blackmail material Minho I’m going to commit murder Y/N Awww, you guys look so cute I hope you guys get some rest … Guys? Wait he wasn’t serious about the murder was he? Hyunjin Hi baby I miss you Jisung I miss you too! Hyunjin I miss them more! Chan Guys, it’s not a competition Felix But if it is, I definitely miss them more >:) Y/N Guys, Minho wasn’t serious about killing Seungmin, was he? … Guys?

0o0o0

Jeongin Did you have breakfast yet? Y/N Shit, no I’ve been busy. I had to take my dad to his doctor’s appointment today and then I had to go do groceries Jeongin :( Y/N Sorry Innie. I’ll go get a snack rn Jeongin You haven’t been eating a lot lately … You know coffee doesn’t count as a meal, right? Y/N I know Sorry :( Jeongin You need to take care of yourself. I’m worried about you Y/N I will, I promise Jeongin I’ll remind you if you don’t. I swear, you’re worse than Channie-hyung Y/N D: I’m not that bad Jeogin … What did you just eat? It’s disgusting Please never eat that again Y/N You take that back Ham and Jelly toast is delicious and I refuse to accept this slander Plus its an easy snack Jeongin I will pay you to never eat that again Please Stop! DID YOU JUST ADD HOT SAUCE?!!!? Y/N Suffer

0o0o0

Mom I had a talk with my boss about work. He’s agreed to let me work from home for the next few months. Y/N Oh, that’s good. Now you can spend more time with dad during breaks and lunch … Mom It also means that I won’t need your help around the house anymore. Y/N Mom, we’ve talked about this. I’m not leaving you guys! Mom It’s been almost a month. Your soulmates are almost done with their tour You should go see them. Y/N I appreciate the effort mom, I really do. But can you just drop this? Mom No, I won’t. Why are you forcing yourself to be so unhappy? You think I don’t notice how stressed and upset you’ve been lately? You’re not eating well, you’re not getting a lot of sleep. Honey, I’m worried. Being away from your soulmates for so long so soon after meeting can’t be good for you. Or them! Y/N They have each other, they’ll be fine. Mom That’s not how this works, and you know it. Have you even talked to them about it? Y/N I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now. Mom You can’t run away from your problems forever.

0o0o0

Soulmates

Minho 커피 원해? (anyone want coffee?) Jisung ㅇㅇ (yup) Felix 내!!!! (yes!!!!) Chan 주세요. (please.) Seungmin 됐어요 (im good) Y/N I mean, if you’re offering It might be a bit cold by the time you get here though Minho Ahh, wrong chat Sorry Jisung Wait a minute! Since when do you read Korean?!! Y/N I don’t??!! I just used google translate Although I did recognize 내! That means yes :D Minho 귀엽다 (cute) Changbin Waa, our soulmate is so smart. Y/N :D Don’t drink too much coffee though. I’ve been told it is not a meal >:( Im talking to you, Chan Chan I have no idea what you’re talking about Y/N >:( Jeongin >:( Felix >:( Jisung >:( Chan It’s only my second cup today! And the first one was 3 hours ago! Y/N IT’S ONLY 9AM! Chan … Felix I’m going to kill you

0o0o0

Y/N Hey, can I ask for some advice? I need an unbiased opinion Sophie Well I’m not sure I’d consider myself unbiased. I’m definitely Han biased, that’s for sure. ;) Y/N It’s about my soulmate Sophie OH! I totally forgot about that, you haven’t talked about them at all! Y/N Yeah, between everything with my dad and then school and stuff … My mom has been on my ass these past few weeks about it Sophie About what? Y/N She thinks its unhealthy for me to be away from them She has this scary close bond with her soulmate, a childhood friend of hers. And she can’t imagine being away from her, so she thinks that I need to go be with my soulmate But I’ve been refusing, and now every time I see her it feels like she’s seconds away from starting another argument I’m just so tired of all the arguing, and wondering if maybe she’s right I have been having a harder time getting sleep Sophie Oh wow, that’s …. Wow. Y/N yeah Sophie I’m not sure you want my honest opinion right now. Y/N Please, I do. I need someone that isn’t my mom to be straight up with me. Am I being irrational? Sophie Well, first of all, being away from your soulmates is definitely not easy. But It’s also not a big deal, and long distance relationships work fine even between new soulmates. So maybe your mom is projecting a little bit. But I don’t think that’s the problem here. Y/N ??? Sophie Why does the idea of leaving to be with your soulmates bother you so much? I mean, when I found Alexis I was overjoyed, but I still didn’t have time to see him a lot. We both had school and work, and it was hard to find time to spend together. Honestly, I would have taken any opportunity I had to be with him. And yet here you are, turning down all of your mom’s offers. I feel like something else is at play here than just your mom’s pushiness. Y/N … Sophie I told you you wouldn’t like my opinion. Y/N No, you’re right Fuck, you’re right Sophie I usually am :) Y/N Thank’s Sophie, I really needed someone to knock some sense into me. Sophie Glad I could help. Want some memes? Y/N Yes, please!

0o0o0

Y/N Mom. I’m sorry You were right, I want to be with my soulmates. I really appreciate everything you’ve done to give me the opportunity to be with them. And I’m sorry I’ve been so stubborn about it. But Mom, I feel like you’re pushing me away. I feel like you don’t want me here. My soulmates will never be more important than you. You’re my mom, and I worry about you and dad. I worry about you guys being by yourselves, about being away from you. I’m scared and I just feel like everything is moving too fast. Can you call me when you get off work? I love you.

0o0o0

Y/N We need to talk Chan That doesn’t sound good Y/N It’s nothing bad, I promise Chan Okay? Y/N My dad has been getting better. He’s walking now. Chan That’s great! I’m glad your dad’s okay. Y/N Yeah Chan I have a feeling that’s not what you wanted to talk about, though. Y/N They managed to talk with a neighbor, and he agreed to drive my dad to his appointments if my mom can’t take him. And I started taking online classes. Chan Huh? Y/N Chris I think we need to talk about what happens when you guys are done with your tour.

[spennsrs]

drunk confessing to spencer? "shh, don't tell anyone but 've got a crush on him" my fave troupe everrr 😭😭 love your writing sm ❤️

(\ (\ („• ֊ •„) ━O━O━━━━━━━━━ ・:。DRUNK TEXT. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ︳spencer agnew x reader drabble ︳pure fluff ︳i love this trope sm :( decided to do a lil spin on it!! n also if this is short... im so sorry

spencer had a bad feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. something felt... off. while he sat on his couch, scrolling through netflix aimlessly, his eyes kept glancing to the dark screen of his phone.

from the screen... to the phone... back to the screen... then to the phone again...

his hand reaches to the mobile device, eyes focusing as the screen lights up to check the time. a soft sigh leaves him as he takes note of the time.

2:35 AM

they should've texted by now. they should be home from that stupid party... right? unlocking his phone, spencer opens his messages to reread over the conversation with you. they would text him when they got home... right? spencer's mind races with anxious and concerned thoughts as he sets his phone down, exhaling shakily.

... ding!

from :: [y/n] 🤓💞hey heeeeeey pssst keep a secret for me courtney pretty pleeeease

spencer feels a brow raise as he reads the texts, holding back a soft laugh. he simply stares at the screen for a moment before going to respond, only for more texts to flood in.

from :: [y/n] 🤓💞 im hella drynk drunk and i thynk its supwr obvious but like dont twele anyone spnecr is saur cute and i have .. the biggest crush on him no not crush that makes me sound like a lovesick schoolgirl but you get what i mean hopwfully

silence filled the living room as spencer stares at his phone screen, a little dumbfounded and a little overwhelmed. was this... real? was this actually happening? this couldn't be real. his best friend and object of his ever growing affections was drunk texting him, thinking he was someone else and confessing. well... maybe confessing wasn't the right word. they were more just rambling their feelings.

was there a right way to go about this? would [y/n] even remember this in the morning? should he even say anything? in a panic, spencer just... stares at his phone screen. his free hand comes up to his mouth, nervously chewing on his fingernails as he's seemingly too nervous to respond.

spence, you could always call-

his thoughts are interrupted yet again as his phone starts to ring. spencer's heart stops, and he swears time slows in that moment as the screen lights up with [y/n]'s caller id. shakily, he picks the phone up and answers the call.

"hello...?" "spence! oh em geee, heeeeeey! i'm hooome, i totally forgot to tell you so hi cutie, i'm home."

the soft giggles and steady breaths only fuel spencer's rapidly beating heart, and a soft smile tugs at his lips. "hey, [y/n]. i was starting to think you were hurt or something... but i'm glad you're home safe and sound." there's a pause of silence, before he swallows thickly and opens his mouth to speak again. "you okay..?"

"keep a secret! courtney didn't text me back so i'm sharing this super top secret secret with you! i have these ultra big feelings for spencer... isn't that crazy?" he so desperately wished he was there to take care of them. he knew they were a talkative drunk, he knew they never drank enough water and he just hoped their roommate would urge them to do so... he knew everything about them, everything came so naturally with them. so why was he surprised? everyone already thought they were dating, three long years of friendship, they were constantly asked if they were dating. within the three years of friendship, spencer had developed those deeper feelings pretty quickly.

but for some reason, when he was hit with the sudden truth that they returned his feelings... why was he so flabbergasted? the intense feeling bubbling in his chest, the quickened breaths, how his hands felt clammier than usual. "spenceeeeee? you theeeere?" "oh, fuck, uh .... sorry, [y/n]. yeah, uh, yeah your secret is safe with me."

there's a selfish part of spencer that decides to keep this to himself, to cherish in this moment. the whole awkward conversation that was bound to happen was an issue for future spencer.

but for now, [y/n]'s giggling voice telling him they felt the same was all he cared about.

[chunniwritesalot]

home - nh27

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to my 3rd haas related fanfic 😍😍 i think i should be named the nh27 queen by the amount of ff i'm writing about him (not that im complaining... i want to eat this guy...) if you dont follow me, or check my rambles (go follow me PLEASE... im a desperate gal) you wouldn't know that im going to vacation so i wanted to write something super quick before i left. when i get back- TRUST an smau WILL be made, probably for nico because this man is so beautiful 🤗😋 the writing on this is super rushed but i've been out of practice (uni is starting soon PLEASE SEND HELP) because i major in english and BRO i write so many essays that when i get to break i just stop writing all together. my creative writing is SAUR shit because all i write are analysis's and shit like that BUTTTTT im taking a lot of creative writing courses this year (2) so watch out because i might become Shakespeare cw: sad, cursing, you have a son but your gender isn't included, mentions of crashing (obviously, its about the monaco grand prix), mentions of hate, banner is mine but photos aren't, use of yn, bad writing style

other: y/s/n means your son's name! I DIDN'T EDIT THIS SHIT SORRY FOR GRAMMAR OR SPELLING MISTAKES. MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN IM BEGGING YOU REQUEST wc: 682

you didn't watch f1 races because of your love for the sport. in reality, you hated the sport. the loudness, the chaos, the danger. you thought that maybe nico would've finally listened to you, he would retire and you two could finally live... peacefully, that you could live your life not fearing the fact that the love of your life could quite literally die almost every week. you watched those stupid fucking races because nico was your husband, and you would never forgive yourself if you weren't watching and something unspeakable happened. so nico promised you that he would always come home to you, and he would never break that promise.

sometimes you wished you never got involved in this stupid sport, because then maybe you wouldn't find yourself sitting in the haas garage with your 3 year old being restrained in your grip as you watch the screen. everything going in slow motion as the two haas cars and the redbull collide in with eachother. was it bad to say you hoped most of the damage went to kevin or checo? you didn't care, f1 made everyone a bad person. you were sure louise, who was glued right next to you, thought the same thing- that most of the damage went to nico or checo. "shit" you muttered, your son looking up at you. he was too young to know what was happening, but you could tell he was worried.

"its okay love, just an accident." you whispered to him, he wriggled out of your grip to go run around the garage. not that you cared, right now, you were focused on nico and lord, were you fucking mad. mad that he broke his promise to you, mad that he never listened, mad at this fucking sport. you hated nico for this, hated that he sacrificed his entire life to this sport, when he knew that he had a 3-year-old son. when he knew you were waiting for him, and you would never forgive him if he didn't come back. you sat there, arms crossed as nico made his way back to the haas area after getting checked with the medics. you watched as he approached you, a flash of guilt on his face. louise seemed to get the message because she quickly got up from the seat next to you and made her way over to the children as she waited for her own husband. "y/n, i'm sorry." nico cracked out quietly, reaching out his hand to take yours. he grimaced when you snapped your hand away and stiffened at his words. "what if you died?" you spat out, "god nico, i-" tears burned in your eyes, "i hate you." nico watched as you stormed to the bathroom, not bothering to follow you. he knew you needed time to cool off. after a while, you came back, sitting next to your husband again. "even y/s/n was fucking worried." you whispered to him, "nico, you-." nico stayed silent, his gaze never tearing from the TV infront of them, he nodded slowly. "i was thinking about you the entire time." he started, "and i'm *sorry*, i'm so fucking sorry." he slowly turned to you, "i-i would never forgive myself if something happened to me, love. i-" he stopped, reaching out to wipe your tears, "i'm... i know you hate this sport, but- its my..." you shook your head, motioning for him to stop. sure, you hated this sport, but you didn't hate nico. you loved nico, and loving him meant you would always be there with him. even if that meant you had to watch all his stupid grands prix. because as much as you knew nico loved his sport, he loved you more, and nico promised he would always come home to you and y/s/n.

"i..i don't hate you" you said back gently, "i'm sorry." nico cracked a smile, "i know, my love. don't be sorry." he reached out again, and this time? you didn't pull away, because nico kept his promise. he was always going to come home to you.

[taissaswifelowkey]

Yellowjackets calling/texting you pt.ii!

a/n: DAMNN okay so i really need to figure out how to insert hyperlinks without it showing the whole thing 💀💀 also in pt i, i mistakenly added jackie TWICE instead of including lottie :(( my bad. ig it’ll be up to us to interpret who’s who 😭

i also decided to do a modern timeline for once!! proofread and as usual feedback is always welcome and enjoy 🥶💯💯

italics = texts, dialogues will be known with quotation marks

warnings: mentions of canon elements! they’re light spoilers but i’d rather be safe than sorry about ruining the show for someone. self-indulgent but you already know it yellowjackets gay propaganda 😎‼️‼️

modern timeline

📚 with meetings, galas and interviews and both of your conflicted schedules taissa doesn’t always have time to be with you (even though you’re often her plus one!) you’re not that much at the house at the same time but she’ll always text you to check up on you, making sure you and sammy are okay. ive said this once and ill say it again, ms turner is an avid ellipses and ok user. also uses the 👍 emoji

I made pasta!!

👍 Nice.

I might come home late…

Whose body do I need to bury??

i think she’ll also send you motivational quotes, or something related to philosophy. or anything that reminds her of your relationship. she can be simultaneously romantic and so nerdy, you love it

You know what this reminds me of? A certain quote of Socrates.

You talk about that guy more than you do about me 😒😒😒

🛹 if im thinking idealistically, it would be random texting with van. anything from memes, to weird statements, to memes again. but if you want my solid truthful opinion? i think she’s not really that big on technology. will mostly call you for hours using her vintage landline. you two however do keep contact with each other in any way when you’re apart, or when she’s on yj business

This TikTok has me rolling and sobbing

TikTok as in…the clock? Why would it make you cry? Are you okay?

phone calls when you are away! she loves hearing your voice :(( and you love hearing her laugh. she swears it’s awful but you like it in a “i like that laugh, hahaha” way. but back to idealist thinking, she would honestly use a list of emojis to communicate like

😁😃☺️😌😊👌

What’s happening?

I’m saying yes for the groceries get with the times 🙄😒🫤

🕷️ nat will forget to answer your text messages but she’ll still answer you as soon as she remembers? or she’ll just reply to you in person. otherwise than that she’ll take pictures of anything that reminds her of you. idk why but i think she texts in all caps unintentionally. would also have a few typos

I HATE TRAFFIC

Omg are you okay?

UTS FINE I JSUY DONT KIKE YRFFUF BUT IM OAKY

would use all sorts of emojis in any context but according to her interpretation. it leaves you confused most of the time like what does 🦵 mean???

🎀 hear me out…same as van i feel that adult lottie doesn’t use her phone that much??? i mean sure a few texts here and there but it’s not allll the time. HOWEVERRRR if, let’s say you’re on some trip or something, she will call/text/facetime you every now and then. would also text you right after calling

Heyyy how are you 🥰🥰🥰

Good :)) and you?

Great but I just miss you

It’s only been 30 secs since we hanged up lot 😭😭

is the type of person to send you recommendations on outdoors or indoor activities like “we should do this 🥰🥰🥰”

🦉 misty is a serial texter (when she has time, being a nurse and a secondhand dexter takes up a lot of time) so, sporadically, you’ll have messages. pictures of her coffee, or to gossip with you and minion memes. im telling you your inbox are spammed with facebook memes to the point of it being slightly concerning? also uses acronyms and 😂🤣

LOL check THIS out I am ROFLING 😂😂😂

This is the 10th minion meme in a day 😭😭

will also correct you. is literally ☝️🤓 but it’s something about those asterisks and corrections that brings a smile to your face

🪵 shauna is basically your virtual reminder. you hardly even use the notes app. sends you voice messages and expects you to reply with the same format. sends you pictures of what she did throughout the day

Look at what I found in our garden today!!

Aww that’s a cute bunny can we name it Mayfield

WILL and WILL expect you to answer directly, or at least answer 10 minutes after. of course that does not apply when you’re busy but if she’s doing the groceries and you’re at home you can answer, right? right???

🧸 voice messages with jackie taylor. like, podcasts. lots of tiktok memes, insta reels, just like lottie she will send you couple activities and be like we should do this omggg 😍😍😍 uses emojis, sometimes will spam you and WILL expect you to answer her too.

Hey beautifullll 🥰

Hi :)

Can you pls listen to my voice memo

Jax it’s three minutes long 😭😭

So??? It’s a signed masterpiece LISTEN TO IT

i think she’s also the type to send you playlists but also random recommendations, not just couple stuff. like clothing, jewellery, or makeup if that’s your thing. if you two are apart expect lots of 1 hour facetimes and thirty minutes of texting right after

[1970sgothfreak]

Okay before you read this final part I just wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me while I’ve been on my break, I am going to try and post more content but I got my dream job/apprenticeship but once again thank you so much and enjoy! ☺️

The Forgotten Twin’s birthday Final part

You sat in the alleyway and looked up at the dark stormy sky of Gotham, it had just began to rain so you stood io and began your journey home, on the way back you though of what your mother had said about you going back to the league.

Were…were you really thinking of going back to the league, you would have to leave everything behind…Alfred, Jon,…the boys and your father.

You shook your head and noticed that you weren’t at the manor but had in fact walked to the bat burger place, you had been so focused on something else that you hadn’t realised you were hungry.

You went inside and sat down ordering your regular and pulling out your phone noticing a bunch of texts, opening your phone you decided to read Jon’s texts first

“are you okay?”

“Im so sorry I let it slip please don’t be mad at me!”

“Thank you for sending me your location be safe”

And the final one

“I love you ♥️”

It was short and simple but, it still made you smile and blush before you checked the other messages they were mainly things like:

“Are you okay”

“Dads really upset”

“Come home we need to talk”

“Please come home we’re sorry”

“This is ridiculous” you thought to yourself as you took a bite of your food, noticing a bunch of family’s eating together happily, you felt sad but also envy

Why did those children get what you didn’t?

Why did they have people who actually wanted to spend time with them?

Why…

Why weren’t you good enough for them?

Y/n pov

I finished my food, placing the money on the table before leaving and squeezing the water out of my jacket, I thought over the things said and sighed annoyed wondering if they actually were sorry or just sorry that they got caught

I headed back to the manor and entered when I hear the boys talking, I quickly shut the door and snuck around the corner to listen to their conversation, it was…about me..!?

“Bruce you need to calm down”

“Calm down my reputation is going to go down the drain so are the boys if they ever find out what we did to Y/n!”

Oh…

They really didn’t care, of course I knew that but finally hearing it made me realise it and how much…it actually hurt a bit..?

I pulled out my phone and saw that Jon sent another text

“You get home okay honey..?”

“Yea I did…found out the truth lol”

“Truth?…”

“Bruce is only trying to apologise so that he and the boys don’t loose their public reputation…I’m thinking of moving back in with my mom”

“But then I won’t be able to see you again…”

“You will! I’ll make sure of it, I’ll even ask my mom right now!”

I exited the chat and pulled up my moms contact before texting her and asking if it was okay for me to bring Jon with me or for him to at least be able to frequently visit, I saw the chat bubbles appear and waited with anticipation to see her reply

“Yes that’s fine, I’ll make sure he’s allowed access to you constantly”

My face light up with a smile once I saw my mothers reply and texted Jon to let him know, he was also excited all that was left to do…was pack up and say goodbye I don’t know what will he harder but…all I know is that I’m getting out of this place and I’m going home and one thing I know for definite is….

I am never coming back.

Taglist:

@paleenthusiastfox

@notazul

@rainnyydaysworld

@simpingmyassoff

@stupendousnightmaretrash

@batfamlover

@harpy-space

@loxbbg

@mxtokko

@venomsvl

@awalkingdisasterbi

@randobeetlehouse

@snowcatlove

@vanessa-boo

@sem-blog245

@ladyagagaslefttoe

@knoxx-seresinbradshaw

@tweetybomb

@ur-local-brown-artist

@burnaccsblog

@killerqueenduck

@odinswarriorvalkyrie

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[nvertheless]

didn’t want to have to do it

you sat in your bed with a strange feeling twisting in your stomach. each breath you took in and out through your mouth was an attempt to calm your nerves, but it wasn’t working. your anxiety gnawed at you.

you and jake, your boyfriend of one year, had recently ended your relationship. despite the breakup, you both wanted to remain friends because the thought of losing him completely was unbearable. jake was your everything, and you loved him deeply. he felt the same way about you.

but however, as individuals, you both started to feel unhappy, and being in a relationship was only pushing it. jake felt he couldn’t tell you anything without you getting upset, and you felt you couldn’t share your thoughts without him becoming defensive and angry.

despite those challenges, the love between you two never wavered. a connection that sealed your hearts and souls together.

you stayed in contact, texting often. whether it would be checking up on each other or sending reels, you maintained communication. but the love never faded, even though you both knew it wasn’t healthy to stay in touch. yet, the fear of losing him completely kept you horrified.

as you lay in bed, you grabbed your phone and started texting.

You: it just really hit me.

My love: it’s okay, i understand.

My love: it’s hitting for me too.

You: do you ever think we could just work things out?

My love: yn, you know we can’t.

My love: i’m sorry.

My love: maybe it’s best if we stop talking.

You: jake please don’t do this

in a panic you called him, your heart pounding as you waited for him to answer. when you finally heard his voice, your heart dropped

“hello?” you asked, struggling to hold back your tears.

“yn…” jake’s voice trembled, filled with emotion.

“jake, please don’t do this. i’m sorry.” you broke down, the tears flowing uncontrollably.

“yn, you know we can’t be on and off like this. we can’t keep going on like this,” jake said, his voice cracking as he cried.

“i don’t want to lose you. i feel like i can’t go on without you,” you sobbed.

“im sorry yn, but if we keep going like this, we’ll never move on and still have feelings for each other.” jake replied, his own tears evident.

both of you were crying, your hearts breaking more with each passing second.

“please don’t leave me. i care about you so much,” you stuttered, your voice quivering. “i know we said we could be friends, but im going to miss you as my boyfriend. i wish things hadn’t turned out this way.”

“i’m sorry for not giving you the happiness you deserved.” you said as your eyes were burning from the tears.

“yn, don’t say that. it’s not your fault,” he reassured you.

“but i ruined everything jake. i’m sorry for everything,” you cried, your head aching from the tears.

“you didn’t ruin anything. we both were unhappy with each other but i care about you so much, but we know what we have to do,” jake said, trying to keep his voice steady so his mom wouldn’t hear him crying in the next room. he never wanted to hurt you because he loved you.

“let’s not talk for a month. we need to give each other time, i don’t want to do this either, but it’s for the best, and i know you know that,” he said, his voice filled with sadness.

“i don’t want to lose you.” you whispered.

“i don’t want to lose you either, but we know what we have to do.” jake replied, his voice breaking.

“I love you, jake.” you finally said, your heart pouring out through your tears.

“i love you too yn. i’m so fucking sorry,” jake said, finally letting out a loud cry.

“this is goodbye for now. i’m so sorry,” he said.

the phone hangs up and you both are left in tears and broken hearts.

sorry for the angst and sudden comeback, this is based on what’s currently going on in my life as i’m going through a breakup, i missed you all 🤍

♡'ೃ ↳ taglist (if you would like to be added to my perm taglist send an ask or message me!) @un-flirt @en-flirt

[malii-the-bonehead]

The Other Woman pt3

god this is cringe tbh idk why im posting this bc I KNOW they lurking and seeing this shit

anyways

Slow burn

Summary: Chris, a popular hockey player at school where Y/n went, found himself falling for the beautiful, shy girl. As time went on he found out who Y/n truly was as a person and ultimately, he had to make the choice, his girlfriend, or the other woman.

Part 3

Hey it’s Chris. I stared at the message on my phone. I had work in 20 minutes. I finished getting ready quickly. Now, I was cleaning the house. I heard my phone go off, forgetting that I gave Chris my number this morning. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to actually text me. I continued scrubbing the dishes before responding to his message.

Hello, Christopher. I responded quickly, walking to the living room to clean up the clothes and trash all over the floor. The trash and clothes my mother left there. Empty bottles of liquor scattered before the couch. I bent down, grabbing multiple and tossing them into the garbage, going back to grab more. Buzz buzz.

I took my phone out of my pocket and checked it, once again. 

Just call me Chris. When you call me by my full name you sound like my mother. I giggled to myself. 

Okay, Chris. Sorry about that. He was quick to reply. Damn, is he sitting waiting for this message?

It’s fine. What you up to? I sighed, placing my phone on the side table next to the couch. I sat down, looking at the dirty floor. I should mop. Is that puke? I shook my head with a grossed out expression. Nasty. 

I grabbed the mop from the kitchen closet, filling the bucket with hot water and floor cleaner. I didn’t have much time before I had to leave for work. Buzz. 

I looked back to my phone on the table, picking it up and looking at the message that was sent. The second message, actually. You free tonight? I have a test in calc tomorrow. Was wondering if you could meet me somewhere and help out? I shook my head. I had work until late tonight.

I sent a text back, Sorry, I’m cleaning the house. And I don’t get off work until late tonight. If you’re okay with calling when I get off I can help then. I tried to place my phone down, but it buzzed in my hand.

Where do you work? And yeah that sounds fine. What time you get off? I sent a quick message, avoiding the first question he asked. He didn’t need to know where I worked. Technically no one should know. It was no one's business but mine, but it’s actually illegal to work at a bar until I’m 21. The manager knew my dad personally so I got a quick job there. Now they pay well. As long as I don’t talk about my age or where I work then I should be fine, hopefully. 12. 

My phone buzzed again, but I put it in my back pocket, needing to finish mopping the house. I had to leave in 5 minutes.

–

I sat in my car, in front of the building I worked at. I grabbed my phone. I completely forgot about Chris’s message from earlier. I checked it, getting out of my car walking towards the entrance.

Damn that’s late. What job has those kind of hours? I typed a quick message. A job that pays for food and bills. He was really trying to get it out of me.  He sent another message asking where but I ignored it. He sent another message after a few minutes, understanding that I wasn't going to tell him.

Oh. Well if you aren’t too tired when you get off then I’ll appreciate the help. I opened the front door, heading to the back to pick my things up in my assigned locker. I’ll let you know. 

I put my phone in my back pocket and went to the bar area. We’re normally not super busy until 6, so I had about 2 hours to get things ready. 

–

I was sitting behind the building, on break, hitting the rolled joint in my hand. I smoked every now and then. Not too much and not too little, just enough to relieve some stress. I pulled out my phone, checking the message from Chris. I knew he had sent one. Honestly, he messaged so fast you’d think he was obsessed with me. But that’s crazy, right?

Don’t take this as a creepy message or anything but you got a picture I can have for your profile? You there? Oh shit you’re at work. Let me know when you get off. 4 messages after another? Damn.

It’s been 5 hours since his last message. I’m on break now. If I send a picture you have to send me one as well. Right now, it’s a random dog off of pinterest lmfao. 

It took him about 2 minutes to respond. I put the joint out, shoving the rest of it in my jacket pocket. Lol why a dog? And yeah I’ll send one but you first. 

I opened my camera roll, picking the picture I liked the most. I pressed send, waiting for his response.

(something like this but it’s you, obviously)

I sent after the photo, because you remind me of a golden retriever. 

He responded quickly. Really? Also that’s a pretty picture. You look nice. My stomach started to twist, butterflies floating around. I can hear my heartbeat. He thinks I look nice.

Thank you, Chris. I smiled a little. Now it’s your turn. I glanced around the back of the parking lot behind the building. The music seemed more quiet as I breathed in the cold air, enjoying the moment. Not many people compliment me. Well, not many people like Chris. It felt.. Good.

Your welcome Y/n. Let me find a picture. Give me a sec. 

I shut off my phone, leaning my head against the wall behind me. Buzz buzz.

Notification: New message from Chris popped up on my lock screen. I looked at it for a while, scared to open it.

My breath hitched as I stared down at my phone, my mouth slightly open from shock. My cheeks went slightly pink. Damn, he’s really pretty. I saved the photo, changing his profile picture from the dog to the one he sent. 

Damn, you think I look nice? Look at you. I erased the message. What should I say? It’s not a big deal, Y/n. Just send something simple.

You have nice eyes. Simple and true. He really did have nice eyes. He had nice everything. Nice hair, nice eyes, nice lips. 

“He has a girlfriend, Y/n,” I mumbled to myself quietly. “Besides, he would never go for someone like you.” 

You think so?  I liked his message before sending, yes, I do. 

Thank you Y/n. That means a lot. 

You’re welcome, Chris. I checked the time. I had a few minutes of my break left.  I should get going. My break ends in 2 minutes. Text me at 12 when I get off so I can help with your calculus. 

You got it ma’am. Have fun at work. I shut off my phone, standing from my crouching position against the wall. I needed to stretch my legs. They hurt from sitting in that position for so long. I walked back through the back door, heading back to the bar getting to work. 

[kitashousewife]

home for christmas

an: i know im going out of order but inspiration struck for these AND i want to get the christmas fics written cause i am IN THE SPIRIT!! i hope i wrote him okay it's my first time heehee

pairings: timeskip!oikawa x fem!reader

warnings: reader is going home from japan but it is not specified as to where, airports and flying, very flirty oikawa, food and drink mentions, alcohol mentions, very fluffy, strangers (sort of) to lovers

-

besides the click of luggage wheels on the tile floor and the occasional intercom message, the airport is quite calm. checked bag long whisked away to join the others, everything back in place after the rush of security. now it's just you and a few others settling into the gate.

but you can't quite relax.

not with the feeling of someone staring at you.

you sat down in your seat about 30 minutes ago, and oikawa sat down shortly after, right in front of you. you glanced his way, before looking back at your phone. you tried to sneak glances every chance you could. soft brown hair waving perfectly, pretty fingers scrolling on his phone, and you could tell he was tall. he didn't have much with him, with the exception of a light blue duffle bag that he was using as a footrest. everything about him was pretty.

you stopped looking at the handsome stranger when your eyes met. rich, golden brown hues staring right into yours, with a confident smirk gracing his lips. after that, you quit looking up from the book you attempted to distract yourself with, forcing your heartbeat to slow down.

oikawa, however, hasn't stopped. the second he locked eyes with you he couldn't stop. the wide-eyed look you gave him before averting your eyes back to your lap was so cute.

he can't help it, really. after a few more minutes of stolen glances, he clears his throat.

"excuse me, do you know where the drinking fountain is?"

you hum and look up, startled a bit when you realize the stranger is standing right in front of you.

"sorry, are you talking to me?"

he chuckles. adorable.

"yes, so sorry. i didn't mean to distract you from your book," he gives you a dazzling smile. he shakes his water bottle in his hand, before looking around. "i just noticed that yours was full, and i'm a little thirsty."

your heart is racing. sure, this was probably the most attractive person you'd seen in your life, but you didn't think he would even talk to you. your mouth is dry.

"the one i went to is right around the corner," you point and he nods. "i could watch your stuff?"

"would you mind?" you shake your head. "hmm, fine. i trust ya," oikawa winks before walking away with a wave. "i'll be right back!"

once he rounds the corner you grab your phone, frantically pulling up instagram. scrolling through your dm's until you reach a conversation between friends, you select it and scroll until you reach the post. your friend had sent a photo a few days back of a volleyball player, gushing about how attractive he was, to which the rest of your friends agreed.

the photo is of oikawa, reclined on one of the bench chairs during a time-out. water bottle to his upturned lips as he smiles at the photographer with those big brown eyes sparkling in the light. that's definitely him. you thought you had recognized him, but it seemed too good to be true. wouldn't he be staying home with his family?

"whatchya lookin' at?" oikawa says from right behind you, and you jump.

"nothing, just-"

"aw, it's okay. at least that's a pretty good photo of me," he says with a chuckle before sitting down in front of you once more.

"what's your name? i would tell you mine, but it looks like you already know," he smirks. you answer, squeaking out your name. "so, where are you headed to?"

your head is spinning. "im actually headed home for the holidays, how about you?"

he takes a sip of his water, grimacing as he swallows. "did you drink any of this? gross," he shakes his head, setting his water bottle on the ground with a clink. "i can't drink this. do you want to get a drink, on me?" he gestures to the hotel bar. you think for a second, before nodding.

"great. i would love the company. oh, let me get that for you!" he takes your carry-on, whisking it away with his own before walking over to the bar. he sets your things down before pulling out the stool for you.

"you didn't need to do that, it was only a few steps," you laugh before sitting down, feeling almost nervous when he joins by your side.

"i don't mind. pretty girls like you shouldn't need to carry luggage all around."

your cheeks heat up, but thankfully the bartender arrives just in time. the two of you order and are given your drinks rather quickly, thanks to the bar being almost empty.

"so," you take a sip. "where are you headed?"

"oh right. im meeting my team for a few games. they arrived a couple days ago, but my coach said it was okay to spend a few more days here with my family and friends," he runs his fingers through his hair. "and you? are you excited to be home for christmas?"

you can't help but smile. "actually, yes. im excited to sleep in my own bed," you laugh, and oikawa smiles.

"i know how that feels."

"that's nice of your coach to let you spend time at home."

he sips his drink, nodding. "i'm really thankful. it was nice to celebrate christmas with those i love, even if it's a little bit early," he looks at you, and he's happy to see that you're looking right back.

"you have-here, let me get it," oikawa leans in, reaching his thumb up to your cheek. at this proximity, you can see it all. every tanned freckle dusting his cheeks, every tiny gold fleck flickering in his eyes. your attention is drawn away when his tongue pokes out in concentration.

"got it. sorry, you had an eyelash. make a wish!"

you look down, and on his finger tip is an eyelash. you blink up at him.

"what?"

he laughs. "growing up, if we ever had an eyelash fall off, we would make a wish before blowing it off of our finger. so, make a wish, beautiful."

you look at him before blowing the eyelash, watching it flutter into the air. he finishes his drink, completely unphased before setting it down and digging i his wallet for his card. after he pays, the two of you get to know each other a bit more. sharing stories, interests, likes and dislikes.

meanwhile, you are stirring in your seat. the thoughts going through your mind are dizzying, images of his face up close, how intoxicating his cologne is, how he touched you. so soft and delicate, like you were made of porcelain.

"-and i forgot them at my apartment. what do you think?"

you snap up, confusion playing at your features and he laughs. he signs the receipt, nodding at the bar tended with a smile before picking up your carry on once more.

"i'm sorry, i didn't-what did you say?" he chuckles before placing his free hand on your shoulder.

"after one drink? what on earth did you order?" oikawa pushes a strand of your hair aside effortlessly like he's known you for years. "i was saying, i forgot my snacks at my place and was wondering if you wanted to come with me to get some."

"sure. only if you let me carry my own bag."

he laughs, a real laugh before sliding it over to you.

"fine, fine. but if anyone asks, you have to say that i'm a gentleman."

the two of you walk together, sharing favorite snacks and treats as you mosey through the airport convenience store. he gets what he needs, insisting he gets something for you despite your assurance that you're fine.

the different decorations and lights sparkle through the airport at this hour, coating everything in a cheery glow. everything is making you anxious to go home, see everyone important to you and finally participate in traditions and activities.

"y'know, you are really quite beautiful."

the two of you stop walking, standing in front of your gate.

"that's just the alcohol talking," you shake your head, setting your things down in front of a couple seats. he grabs your hand.

"no! not at all. i mean it. why do you think i talked to you in the first place?"

"because you were thirsty?"

oikawa laughs, running his fingers through is hair once more. he thinks for a moment of his friends. iwa, makki, and mattsun would be laughing at him right now. playing with his hair is one of his nervous ticks. thankfully, you don't know that.

"can i tell you a secret?"

he's close right now. so close. you can see the details, just like before, but this time it's different. the low light of the airport makes his eyes almost golden as they stare at you, full of nerves and worry even though the smirk on his lips says otherwise.

"of course,"

he leans to your ear, tucking a strand of hair behind it.

"i knew where the water fountain was the entire time."

you gasp, part because of the goosebumps that now dance across your skin, and at his confession.

"you liar!" you smack him playfully, and you swear he blushes.

"i wanted to talk to you, but i needed a reason. and it worked, didn't it?" his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, and you shake your head.

"you're quite pretty yourself, oikawa."

you look up at him, the same nervousness swimming around in your irises. his fingers reach through his hair once more.

"you don't mean that,"

"i wouldn't lie about that."

he stares at you, your eyes, and then your lips. his tongue wets his, and he seriously considers kissing you right now. a complete stranger, someone he's met by complete chance, but feels like he's known his entire life.

"you know oikawa, my friends are completely in love with you."

"oh yeah?" he smiles again, a complete 180 from how he was only seconds ago. covering up his nerves with faux confidence, something he's gotten quite used to.

"mhm. they talk about you all the time. they would kill to be here right now,"

he hums, sitting next to you like before.

"well you should show them!"

his hand falls to your forearm, the one in which holds your phone. he gestures down to it, and you finally understand what he means.

you hold up your camera and snap a photo of the two of you; one silly, and one smiling. you send it into the group chat and lock your phone.

with a sigh, you sink back into your seat. it's close to midnight at this point, meaning you should be boarding shortly.

"thanks for the drink tonight, oikawa,"

"tooru please," he corrects, a playful tone in his voice. "and it's no problem. i really enjoyed meeting you." he feels a blush creeping onto his cheeks. clearing his throat, he looks out towards the windows as he watches the plane be taxied in.

"do you think i could get your number?"

"of course! u-um, here. just put in your information," you unlock your phone and gasp.

3 missed calls, around 15 texts, and a missed group facetime. oikawa snickers. you hand him the phone, and he puts in his contact quickly and sends a text to himself to get yours as well.

hot airport stranger now lives in your phone, oikawa hopes forever.

the two of you board, and you're a little sad that your seats aren't as close. you can't be too upset, though. luck has shown on you more than enough tonight. once in the air and comfortable, you settle in for the next few hours. the seatbelt light above you turns off, followed by a message of clearance to move about the cabin.

"hey you," a quiet voice cuts through the buzz of the flight. oikawa slips next to you, making himself comfortable in the seat right next to you. "we have a few more hours together, so i figured we should make the most of it." he sets his laptop up on the tray and hands you an earbud with a smile. you accept, stomach full of butterflies.

as the movie starts, a bittersweet feeling sinks in both of your chests. worried about never seeing each other again, wishing this flight would last forever, but wanting to get home to christmas and volleyball has both of you torn.

for the next few hours at least, the two of you live in your own world, snacking and watching movie after movie together. when you finally close your eyes and lean into his shoulder, oikawa feels his like he is going to explode. he snaps a quick photo of the two of you on your phone, then his, before shutting his laptop.

while you sleep, oikawa analyzes his schedule while he's in town, as well as for the next few months. he looks at plane to japan as well as your hometown before coming to a final decision.

nothing is going to stop him from seeing you again.

[sammy-hammy]

hi! im also a big fan of angst and have been thinking of this tyler galpin x reader story (u dont have to do it if u dont want to)

spoilers for ppl who havent finished the series yet!

okay so, tyler and the reader are a couple and they were supposed to have a date. but it was one of those days where laurel controlls him or something(tyler himself knows hes the hyde by now btw). so he unwillingly misses their date(again, for numerous times). the reader decides to go home after a couple of hours and comes across the hyde and gets hurt badly. the next day when tyler decides to visit the reader to apologize, their guardian tells him that theyre in the hospital after a terrible accident. so he rushes to see them and realizes that he was the reason why shes in the hospital. a few hours later she wakes up and sees tyler and they both talk abt him missing so many dates that theyre convinced hes cheating on them. he tells them he isnt but the reader wants some space for now after the accident.

im so sorry if its long, i suck at summarizing

𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕪𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕪

tyler galpin has many regrets

losing you is his biggest one

[ tyler’s thoughts , time message, reader’s thoughts]

[ major spoilers for the show, cursing, reader wishing they died, not proof read]

their blood was on my hands

why?

why was it on my hands?

ugh

stop overthinking it

it was just a dream…

right?

the resident barista bit the side of his lip as he thought about his lover. he snapped out of his trance when a customer walked up to the counter.

“hello tyler”

“good afternoon, ms. thornhill! would you like the usual?” tyler tried focusing on the order instead of the building pressure in his heart.

they’re normally here by now

he bit his lip and glanced at the door while making the double-cap, no foam, two pumps of sugar-free vanilla coffee.

he set down thornhill’s drink and she gently grabbed his arm. she leaned in close and whispered into his ear. “good job yesterday, tyler. see how well you did after removing your distractions?”

tyler’s face morphed into one of confusion. “what? i don’t think i have any distractions..”

“well not anymore. with yn out of your life, you don’t have anything to worry about.” thornhill smiled as she squeezed his shoulder.

tyler felt his stomach drop. “wha-what? are they mad? what happened?” he pulled away from thornhill as his heart beat increased. “i don’t think i di- oh shit”

realization hit him like a truck.

he forgot your birthday,

which meant he forgot your date.

again…

“my phone, my phone! do you still have it? why didn’t you give it to me yesterday?” tyler’s breathing became slightly erratic as other customers as the weathervane started staring.

“i just want what’s best for you and silly distractions like your phone and yn get in the way.” thornhill said in an obnoxiously sweet tone.

yn isn’t a distraction..

“now calm down, people are staring.” she set down his phone and walked away with her drink.

tyler picked it up and practically sprinted to the break room.

7 missed calls and 13 unread messages..

shit

he quickly checked his messages as his breathing went unsteady.

4:37 hey tyler! don’t forget about dinner at 6:30!

5:45 hey ty. are you on your way? just call me when you’re close.

6:02 never mind. i’ll just meet you at the restaurant, ok? be safe!

6:24 hey ty. are you on your way? i’m already here

6:33 i’m at the table, it’s towards the back

6:45 ty they’re starting to ask for our orders, please hurry.

6:56 ty please answer. i don’t think they’ll give us more time

7:04 ty?

7:17 never mind. i’m going home

7:20 i’m tired

7:21 this is such a stupid cycle

he felt his heart clench

7:22 sorry for wasting your time

you never wasted my time

7:23 i hope your happier with her than you were with me, for her sake

tyler dialed your number almost immediately with his shaky hands.

it went straight to voicemail.

he tried again.

same results.

fuck

he quickly threw off his apron and ran out of the cafe. he risked getting fired for abandoning his shift, but he didn’t care.

you were the one thing on his mind.

he bit his lip while getting into his car and subconsciously made his way to your house. once he reached your house he stepped out of his car and ran to your front door with his heart still beating rapidly.

the door opened before he could even knock. he locked eyes with your teary eyed elder brother.

“oh um. hey jeremy, is yn here?” your brother stayed silent as his face changed into disgust.

“you tell me galpin. you were supposed to be with them last night.” he dug his finger into tyler’s chest. “they tried coming home alone but they were attacked. all because you pathetic excuse for a boyfriend couldn’t care any less about my sibling, your supposed lover.” tears built up your brother’s eyes.

tyler’s heart couldn’t stand this much stress. “i-i didn’t know.. jeremy, please. i am so sorry! are they ok?”

jeremy scoffed. “stay the fuck away from my sibling, galpin. you clearly don’t care. if you did, they wouldn’t be in the hospital. but they are, so stay away before i do something i won’t regret.” your brother slammed the door in his face.

hospital?

what happened to them last night?

damn it

i should’ve been with them

why wasn’t i with them?

tyler was lost in his thoughts as he walked back to his car. he got in and set his hands on the wheel for a solid 30 seconds.

…the dream

what was it again?

ugh this hyde is messing with my memory

i have to get to them

he started his car and drove to the hospital as fast as possible.

the dream

it was about yn..

he tried remaining calm as his hands tightened against the wheel.

it had to be a dream

i wouldn’t let myself do that

he reached the hospital and walked in trying to steady his breathing.

“can i help you?” the receptionist questioned.

“yes! um where is yn ln’s room?” he answered quickly.

“room 13 to the right.” he handed him a visitor’s pass and went back to typing on his computer.

he dashed to the hallway and anxiously looked for your room.

it was just a dream

i would never do that to them

i love them

tyler’s eyes widened at his own thoughts.

love…?

he stood in front of your door.

yeah, love

he carefully opened the door to your room and his heart stopped.

you lied still with bandages covering your entire chest, a large bandage on your cheek, and your right arm in a cast.

no

no no no

this is all wrong

he walked over to you and gently held your hand. tears pricked his eyes as he kissed your palm. he sat on the chair beside the bed and stared at you with a worry written expression.

i couldn’t have

i wouldn’t…

he glanced at your bandages and he knew.

i should’ve listened to my dream

guilt washed over him.

god, i’m so stupid

your heart monitor was able to drown out his sobs.

“i love you, yn. i love you so much.” he whispered and wiped away his tears.

he laid his head on his arm and caressed your hand. he stared at your resting face as if you would disappear if he didn’t.

the sun was beginning to set and he was starting to feel the exhaustion from staying up all night.

he stayed staring for a while before his eyelids got heavy. he was eventually overtaken by sleep, yet he still clung to your hand.

ugh my head is killing me

you opened your eyes to the dim lighting of your hospital room. you tried lifting your hands to your face but the pain stopped you from doing so.

you winced as you looked at your body but your heart dropped when you glanced at the boy holding your hand.

tyler jolted awake while breathing heavily. you glanced away before he could make eye contact.

“why’re you here, tyler?” you asked as you stared up at the ceiling.

“i just wanted to see you” tyler felt his voice get caught in his throat. “i’m sorry, yn. i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i should’ve been with you.” he held your hand to his face and tried to make you look at him but you refused.

“if you didn’t want to be with me you could’ve just said so.” you took deep breaths as you started feeling the scars that creature had left. “you’ve missed so many of our dates. it’s embarrassing for me.”

“yn please i never meant to-“

“never meant to what, tyler? cheat?” your eyebrows knitted together as you finally looked at him. his eyes were bloodshot and they maintained a pleading look which made your breath hitch.

you resisted the urge to comfort him because it wasn’t your right anymore. “you’ve been so distant lately and it seems like you don’t even care about me anymore.”

tyler’s eyes became watery once again as he clutched onto your hand. “yn, i do care about you.” he gently set your hand down and cupped your cheek. “i love you, yn. i love you.”

a tear ran down your face as you looked away. “don’t say things you don’t mean, tyler.”

“yn, please… i love you more than anything.”

“stop it.”

“you’re the light of my life.”

“tyler, stop.”

“i love you, yn. just please listen.” tyler begged as you finally tore your hand from his.

“just stop!” your face was now wet with tears as you faced the boy you love.

“i spent my birthday alone while you did whatever with that woman. you didn’t bother to respond or at least tell me you couldn’t make it.” tyler stayed quiet.

“i could have died…” you wiped your face with your hand. “i kind of wish i had.”

“you don’t… you don’t mean that. yn you don’t mean that.” tyler denied as his tears fell freely.

“just leave, tyler. i don’t want to be with you anymore. i just can’t anymore. you clearly don’t love me. you might as well leave and be happy.” you continued to cover your face with your arm. you didn’t want to see his expression as you broke up with him.

“y-yn please. i just…” he felt desperate knowing he was losing the love of his life.

“goodbye, tyler galpin. i’m sorry i wasn’t enough for you.” you held back a sob as you heard him get up.

“i’m gonna fix this. please just… stay alive. if not for me, then for your family.” you stayed silent, afraid that if you spoke you would release the emotions you were holding back.

you heard him walk towards the door before stopping. “i love you yn ln, more than you can imagine.”

[growandrecover]

hi,

im really scared bc im officially ✨overweight✨ and my ed has just been #triggered. any tips on how to avoid relapse?

Hey, anon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm really proud of you for reaching out and actively trying to avoid relapse. That's wonderful.

First up, if you can, stop weighing yourself, measuring, body checking, or anything else you may be doing. Your weight does not say anything about you. Absolutely nothing. If you're concerned about your BMI specifically (which I know a lot of people with eds get caught up in), it's all a bunch of garbage. It was made based off of cis white men, and does not take muscle mass into consideration. Even if you happen to be a white amab person, it's still a joke. If you can't stop completely, try to limit what you're doing.

Next, please make sure you're eating all your meals and snacks. My therapist has told me to do this, and I'm passing along the information to you guys. If you have to, set a schedule for yourself and stick to it with the best of your ability.

If you're someone who used exercise to lose weight in the past/if you exercise currently, you may want to lay off that until you're in a better headspace. Going along with this, if you wear a Fitbit or Apple Watch of any kind, taking it off may help avoiding triggers like your daily step count, calories burned, and your other exercise levels. I wore one for almost a year and took it off a few months ago. Surprisingly enough, my quick dips back into some of my ed behaviors have stopped. I finally realized that those triggers sitting on my wrist 24/7 had been messing with my head.

If you're able to/not already, get an adequate amount of sleep. I think we all know what happens when we stay up too late, letting our minds wander into our ed thoughts in the middle of the night. Low levels of sleep interfere with our mental health, which, in times like these, needs to be extra nurtured.

Try to look at it from someone else's point of view. If someone you knew came to you with this exact problem, what would you say? Would you want them to be kind to their body, to fuel it, and to take care of it? Probably, right? Or if that's hard for you to say to yourself, wouldn't you just want them to be free of their eating disorder?

This is pretty harsh, but your ed is trying to hurt you. It's trying to kill you. Whatever it needs to say to get you to engage in those behaviors, it will. It'll tell you that you're not as [adjective of your choice] or [another adjective of your choice] when you weigh more than you have in the past, but that's simply not true. As I said earlier, your weight is just a number. You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of food rules and that nasty voice in your head.

If you're scared, I'm here to tell you: your ed will not fix anything. Losing weight will not fix the idea of yourself you have in your head, and won't make you magically like your body more. It wants you to think it will, but it won't. It only makes your life worse.

Something that helps me is looking at recovery posts on Pinterest or Tumblr. I love being able to see other people's thoughts and encouragement. It always inspires me to keep going, and I hope it'll do the same for you, too.

Whatever it is that triggered you is not worth all the pain and suffering that comes with an ed. I don't care if it was something somebody said or just a thought you had. Nothing is worth going back to your ed.

You can do this. I believe in you.

I really hope this was at least a little bit helpful, and I hope you're okay, anon. If you're not right now, you will be.

If I missed something, or you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! ♡

[eatinurgutz]

hi there honey! sorry for such a late response. i am currently on my bed, kicking my feet while i type this. 🤍 id love if you were by my side always. these past few days not talking have been so difficult for me. id love all your attention.. i crave that. like, yes, please hold me and run your fingers through my hair and press your beautiful lips to my head…

my dear, id wait a million years if it meant i got to see you. im glad you feel the same 🤍 eee, the thought of you loving me, the real me, gives me butterflies. i hope you’re right. i truly hope you’re right.. oh my dear, your compliments leave me speechless. i am flushed.. 🤍 and no, i’m lucky to have you. you are so kind and thoughtful and silly.. I am lucky. my goodness, a wedding already? well.. if you insist, i suppose. 🤍 i would love to come down in a white gown to you. after we get married, you could carry me to our bed, and we could lay together as husband and wife for the first time! oh how wonderful.. id love to just trace masterful art over your skin, run my fingers over your arms and back… i just wanna know if your skin is as soft as i think it is 🤍

oh my dear… you are my everything. i don’t think you truly understand. the moment i met you, i knew i had to make you mine. i have stalked your messages, watched your mannerisms, even lurked (and spoke) in conversations that you’ve had on love letter.. every time you speak there, i look up your name and i read every message you’ve sent. i need you.. i don’t know what i would do without you. baby you’re stuck with me. ill never let you go!!!! 🤍

hmmm.. alright, i think i have a few more questions.

1. do you enjoy reading? what’s your favorite book, if so?

2. favorite Christmas movie? :)

as a gift to you for being gone so long, ill answer any question you have for me in honesty. 🤍 obviously, it must be a question i can answer without completely giving myself away… i wont tell you who i am. you’re a clever one, you’ll figure something out 🤍 i love you my dear. till our next chat.

coco ☕️

I'm gonna respond to this since i didn't get too, last time. (due to my breakdown)

Being by your side would mean everything to me. We could do anything you want and we would do everything together! Im sorry its been difficult for you, please talk to me when you can if you need to vent!! I'll always be here for you-! I do try to respond to these when i can, but i don't get the notifications for some reason. . . Only when im in the app. </3 i do try to check constantly, Because i love when we talk! I've never been really big on giving affection irl but i would do it all for you. I would wait one billion years, if i had too. If i died, i would follow you around as a ghost. <3 No matter who the real you is, I'll love all of you, coco. Hhh. I think I'm lucky to have you. I haven't had people be so nice to me or say i have a good personality. It feels nice to be loved or wanted by someone, and it feels even better because its from you. :) We wouldn't have to worry about a wedding right now. . . When we're older we can think about that, okay? :3 Yes, i would love to just lay by your side and be with you. Even in silence! My skin is quite soft but it gets rough when i don't put on lotion. :") It feels good to know you care about me so much to do all those things, dear. Although i don't use LL anymore, im glad you care enough to want to know everything im doing. If i did know who you were, I'd do the same. 🤍 As long as I'm stuck with you, thats completely fine with me, coco.

01: i do enjoy reading, yes. One of us is lying - kate (?)

02: Not sure i have one, but i really like the old Rudolf one. :)

I do have some questions myself.

1: what is your timezone?

2: favorite anime(s)?

3: favorite holiday?