#IM LOOKING AT U CHERRY U WERE THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY MADE ME WANNA CHANGE NY THEMES INSTEAD OF A PFP FOR A NEW HOLIDAY

[chenyann]

Resisting the urge to redo my whole blog.

[calliopesburn]

So you mentioned queer film and docs in some of your tags, may I ask if you have any specific recommendations?

thank u for asking i have SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!

i haven't actually checked but im 99% sure all of these films were definitely directed and likely also written by queer people; for context this top list is all new so look for film festivals that might be screening or streaming these virtually / below i added some older films that are more easy to find

New from the past year or two:

the one i mentioned in the post is one i definitely recommend - it's called Nelly & Nadine (doc) - two women fall in love in a concentration camp, survive, and live happily together - the documentary gets made when a queer grandkid finds old stuff and is like hrmmmm

Rule 34 - one of my favorite films ever honestly - a black sex worker (in brazil) gets into criminal law school (paid for by her sex work) and witnesses her own life and identity being constantly debated in the classroom while continuing her sex work and beginning to explore BDSM at night - she becomes increasingly erratic throughout the film in a way that culminates beautifully (talk about a chaos queer) an incredibly commentary on women's agency

Before I Change My Mind - i think it takes place in the 60s - a non-binary pre-teen kid moves from america to a small canadian town and struggles to make friends for .02 seconds before they set their sights on their crush and become a member of their toxic friend group - puts a whole new spin on 'coming of age'

Compulsus - a woman starts hunting down men who sexually assault women (from the descrip it says it never shows the actual assault that leads her to start striking back, only her committing violence)

Tahara - first of all the stop motion kiss scene still has me reeling. two jewish bffs attend a funeral and things get real awkward when they kiss 'for fun'

Framing Agnes (doc) - gender case studies from a 50's UCLA clinic are re-enacted by icons like Angelica Ross - incredible history

Wildhood - a two-spirit teen falls for another indigenous boy while he journeys with his brother to find their mom

Anything's Possible - Billy Porter's directorial debut - a muslim boy falls for a trans girl and takes his shot even though he knows people will freak out (and they do) but it's really affirming and supportive and lovely and funny <3

Esther Newton Made Me Gay (doc) - ok wanna talk about queer history?? Esther Newton was the first person to ever write about drag culture from an anthropological perspective PERIOD. i think if i remember correctly she was fired from parsons, and was on very thin ice for a long time with her career - but even still she wrote and paved the way for queer academia - writing about fire island, cherry grove, the drag scene, and more!!!!! she also identifies as a butch lesbian/between genders and this film is so incredible for the lesbians - you really need to hear her talk about gender, about butchness and femmeness - ALSO you get to see her childhood growing up in the early 1900's as a queer person and it's incredible, you'll cry but like in a GOOD cathartic way

Sleep With Me (series) - a soapy sapphic thai romance between two disabled women - one in a wheelchair and another with a rare sleep disorder. this will literally give you every cute soapy sapphic moment you could ask for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl Picture - lesbians watch this one!!!!!!!! this is a ROMANCE!!!!!! there were scenes where i was like omg!!!!!!! when you never realize how desperately ur craving a certain style - just watch the trailer please ; also asexuals u should watch this one too :) (just to be clear though the asexual character is straight, not the sapphic romance)

Mama Bears (doc) - this doc will also make u cry but in a really fucking good way. this is a doc on christian parents who used to be conservative and homophobic before changing perspectives after their kids come out. most notable is Kai (though she also chooses the name Esther for herself <3, based on her favorite person in the Bible), a trans girl who talks about coming out to her mom as a girl as young as 3 years old, and in spite of the abuse she was put through, she kept saying it and her mom eventually realized she could either lose her "son" forever, or accept and love her daughter. im tearing up writing this - her mom gave up her entire family to literally save her daughters life - and she did.

Nana's Boys - two black men are about to get engaged when the city goes on lockdown and their relationship is put to the test - truths come out and the gorgeous twists and turns of their relationship really shows the gentleness and supportiveness of queer relationships (it's called nana's boys because they were both raised by their grandmas <3)

Unidentified Objects - a lovely film about two neighbors who take an unexpected road trip - their lives of course changing forever as a result. one of the characters is a gay little person who's mourning the death of a close friend and the other is a sex worker who is looking for the aliens who took her when she was a kid (yes that's literally the plot) it's wonderfully well written and has one of those endings that'll send you reeling

New - haven't seen but on my list:

The First Fallen - a narrative story that follows a group a friends as the first wave of the AIDS epidemic approaches in Peru <3

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (doc) - you'll likely hear about this as its Laura Poitras' new film, it's about Nan Goldin

Stupid for You - a sapphic girl musical????????????????????

Way Down - an episodic on a bunch of friends trying to be musicians - the lead is non-binary in a romance with various ladies and i think everyone else in the band is queer too

The Blue Caftan - a tailor in morocco lives happily closeted with his wife until they hire a sexy assistant

The Inspection - a gay man enters the military and finds unexpected support and family

El Houb - can only remember that it's a muslim guy who comes out to his dad but is a dark comedy (he literally runs into the closet at a point in the film)

My Emptiness and I - a newly out transfemme woman navigates life and dating and surgery

Moneyboys - two gay men in i think taiwan?

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one called Dress Up that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

-

For things currently streaming or easy to find and download:

Fantasy of the Girls (2017/2018 depending where you look) thrilled to list this one as it's actually the film that made me realize im a lesbian :) full film is also on YT

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love dir Maria Maggenti (1995)

Saving Face (2000) and The Half of It - dir Alice Wu

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (late 90s i think)

Fire (1996)

Desert Hearts (1985)

The Velvet Vampire - feels like jennifer's body but in 1971 with a vampire who wants to have sex/kill both ppl in a married couple (dir. by a woman; haven't seen this yet though)

Chutney Popcorn (1999)

Paris is Burning (1990)

Brother to Brother (2004) (anthony mackie)

Pariah

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a sad one but chloe moretz dated the girl from the film and the director is queer - incredible film)

Lingua Franca

Fire Island

Naz & Maalik

The Obituary of Tunde Johnson

Firstness

Firebird

See You Then

Ammonite

No Hard Feelings

Shiva Baby

Flee

Passing

--

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

[mikyouknow]

Please! Rewatch the quiz! I need something to remind me that that actually happened.

I still vividly remember that day. Going out on a chill bike ride with my two best friends for the first time in months. Sitting in the cool grass. Having a picknick. Not too hot out, nice weather. AND THEN I GET HOME TO THE ABSOLUTEL SHITSHOW THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY! Because what the HELL even was that, I still haven't processed anything. My mind keeps erasing that memory until some days the it just hits me square in the face and knocks me out 😀

So yeah! I would love it if you talked more about it, might help to cope a bit xD

Okay anon you motivated me, you were my Final push, I’m Doing it ! 🗣

Also I love that story tho you really have a Vivid memory connected to this whole thing and I’m living for it 😂 you were just having a nice day and then Boom, all this mess 💀

But aight so I’m Watching it rn and will be taking notes Live as I watch Here we go:

My first thoughts is, when Dream decides to do the quiz, he seems so like, confident? And then as soon as he reads the description, his voice falters at ‘and now things are changing’ and I’m Dead 💀 his confidence from two seconds prior in that moment goes like 📉 then cue flustered laugh lmao

“Do you ever catch yourself staring at your bff?” Dream’s flustered laugh and being all like “these questions are gonna be so weird” uhhhhh dude what are you expecting you’re taking a are you in love with your best friend quiz 💀

HES SO DEFENSIVE ON THIS ONE LIKE- he keeps wanting to make excuses aww drema aww 😭 it’s okay !! George is pretty we Understand you staring king 😌

Like legit that’s the first question and he’s already so flustered and- MY GOD GEORGE HASNT SAID A THING I JUST REALIZED WAIT HOLD ON I NEED TO GO BACK-

Two scoffs. That’s it 🧍‍♀️

GEORGE JSJWNSOWNEEJEN HES NOT SAYING ANYTHING IM DYING WHAT

Even when Dream first goes ‘aight imma take the am I in love w my best friend test’ George is SILENT 💀

Listen- listen, I’m having a moment over this cause I don’t remember him being silent from the start I thought it was like a slow descent into him just going silent eventually, BUT NO he’s just Silent from the moment the quiz is brought up 💀 but gives like a slight scoff when Dream’s voice wavered at “changing” like he’s very much Listening, just being So silent.

I just can’t wrap my head around how he doesn’t answer any of Dream’s comments, Dream keeps being like ‘right? Like that’s normal, right? Like that’s not weird. Right?’ And George is just SILENT 💀

“Do you get jealous if he or she has a bf or gf” LMAO THIS QUESTION MY BELOVED

His answer is so weird I will die on this hill.

ALSO GEORGE S P E A K S for the first time in the quiz 😭🗣 but not much, he says ‘but’, cause, yk, they both know he do get jealous so.

Which, again. Weird as hell. Imma say it, I’ve never felt jealous of my best friend getting a partner like what ???? W h a t

But ofc when they’re so clingy on each other, like a partner would take the others place because they pretty much have each other in that spot already, so it makes sense huh

And that’s not platonic btw I wanna make that clear LMAO

I think the points of which George laughs are interesting. And there’s something interesting to his laugh too. I don’t see his face lighting up with it, if that makes sense. It’s like a, I wouldn’t say ‘nervous’ laugh but, I struggle to find a better word for it 🤔

AYO MY MANS DREAM SAYS I DONT KNOW TO IF HE GETS BUTTERFLIES FROM GEORGE I- 💀

THATS NOT AN I DONT KNOW QUESTION KING

EITHER YOU DO OR YOU DONT AND YOU KNOW IF YOU DO OR DONT LIKE W H A T

I have to sit with this one for a second like . What ? 🧍‍♀️

Butterflies.

I’ve never. In my life. Like.

That’s not- you can’t say you don’t know- THAT MEANS LIKE-

Dear lord.

Aight I’m moving on (not actually imma be awake thinking about this later. Not by choice, absolutely not. This just won’t leave my brain unfortunately.)

Hang on. George says something here when Dream says ‘I have no idea’ but I can’t tell what he’s saying ? Like he mumbles something whilst Dream starts talking at the same time and I can’t make it out and I wanna know what he says 💀🗣

I Think he says ‘what do you mean you have no idea?’ Which like, YEAH, you Should question him on that king 🧍‍♀️ but it’s interesting how quiet he is, like he barely pushes the question, and this is like the second ?? Time he’s spoken so far. 🧍‍♀️

Also Listen to how flustered Dream sounds my god💀

This quiz never should’ve happened what’s Wrong with him like is he this blind ?? Did he Really think taking this quiz was gonna end well ?? 💀

“TecHniCally🥴”

“My future is your future”

I feel like we’ve talked abt these LMAO such Romantic phrasing my god

Again him going ‘right?’ And George is Dead Silent 💀

It’s interesting, like I’ve reached the ‘dreams’ question now, and it’s hitting now and throughout this quiz how, Dream is Loudly deflective, but George is silently deflective. If that makes sense? Like he’s choosing not to speak so his words can’t be thrown back at him cause he Knows if he speaks it’ll be obvious. Whilst Dream over explains and fucks himself over p much lmao. They’re both just a mess around this subject 💀

“How would You be in my dream” is such a funny sentence from George LMAO he’s so defensive 💀 like even I have had dreams abt Dream, like you’re his Best Friend, ofc you have dreams abt him my guy 💀 deflecting it is so weird. So Weird

“I’ve never hugged you” Sad hours 😔

It’s interesting here. Cause they speak abt the whole ‘do you go out of your way for this person’ and Dream is stuck on if he should say ‘more than anyone else I know’ or not. Which, there’s ofc observations to be had here as well.

But ! What I found interesting here was how George goes onto say ‘you made me pay you’ when Dream says he edited his video for him. And how George keeps the ‘lie’ going for a very short bit before laughing slightly, by god he sounds so.. different? Like when he usually makes little lies to troll or stuff like that, he’s much more extra and keeps the bit going and- idk how to explain it but the tone of his voice is usually way different. Here he seems to, idk, struggle to keep that up. His laugh is also just like, somewhat toneless?

LMAO The MOMENT Dream got the question ‘what do you think abt their laugh’ George’s laugh Stops. 💀

“Do you ever think abt what it would be like to Kiss your best friend?”

THE SILENCE

Also,

how Dream read ‘kiss’ 🤝 how Dream read ‘changing’

Some words hit this man different huh LMAO

“Why did that take you so long” on the kiss question, CALL HIM OUT GEORGE 🗣

HRKEJEKEEJEKJEEIEJ HOW ARE THOSE- SORRY WHAT DREAM ??

“HOW ARE THOSE THE ONLY OPTIONS” ???

God, for real, I wish Dream would get to sit down with someone one day who just Listened to him speak and allowed him to slip up and just sound so in love with George like give himself away simply because nobody is saying how weird he’s-

Hold on.

Wait. A minute.

George.

George is doing that LMAOOOO

Him sitting there silently and not responding to all his small questions abt what he Should answer and such, he’s so smart🧍‍♀️

AIGHT MOVING ON

George’s laugh keeps sounding very, like, strange😅

Anyways the way Dream Had to have a ‘yes’ answer to the kiss one will forever keep me up at night. Now along with the butterflies one🧍‍♀️

I rly wonder what options it is Dream is looking for when he says ‘none of these options’ so often. What is it you wanna say king ?

WHY IS THE BUTTERFLIES QUESTION TWICE AND WHY IS HIS ANSWER NOW DIFFERENT LMAO - drema it’s okay it’s Safe Space 🗣 I feel like he probably saw chat responding to his first answer and realized ‘oop, that’s not platonic’ and changed his answer LMAO 💀 he’s- Ahh hard to find the right words for my Thoughts here, but he’s doing that thing where he looks for others what is ‘normal’ instead of seeing what he feels, cause what He feels is, uh, well we all know what results he got at the end there,,

I mean the kiss question is all u need really. The butterflies one puts icing on the whole cake.

“Do you compare this person to others you’ve dated? Noo...” AIGHT AND THERE WE HAVE THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THE WHOLE THING

This was the one of the Most sus ones imo from when I first watched it. It had my head spin, head in hands for Days.

What do you MEAN you compare him to others you’ve dated? Why does he tell George to shut up, why do they both Know there’s a story there- I have so many questions on this and- this isn’t platonic 💀😭 AT ALL - and there’s no excuse or explanations for this one, they just Move On 💀

The Speed at which they move on 💀

And then George goes So silent 🧍‍♀️

Dream is cruising through the questions and George is so silent now. He was Stunned into silence from that shut up LMAO

I like how Dream picked ‘absolutely’ on being able to tell George everything :’)

So.

Why does George not say anything on the ‘do you think your best friend is in love with you’ question? No joke, no protest, no- no nothing?

That leaves us to fill in the blanks king, just saying🧍‍♀️

Why does Dream sound sarcastic when he says it’s a tough question LMAO

“I have no idea” aight good answer ig LMAO let’s Pretend

George’s silence is for real very sus there. Very. 🥴

Dream putting ‘no’ on thinking he’s in love, is Very funny and shows just how blind he is to himself.

He rly put ‘I don’t know’ for the butterflies one and found the nearest ‘yes’ option for the kiss one and then still put ‘no’ at the end - he’s a lost cause and owns no mirrors I see how it is. (/j btw lmao I have hope in drema ofc, he too can become more self aware one day<3)

“You are a little in love with your best friend” cue both of them laughing in just the weirdest ways. George just sounds absolutely toneless like, I don’t think he’s even smiling with that laugh, gaze absolutely dazed at what he’s being witness to, not even knowing what to do with himself in that moment. And Dream’s laugh is also just, weird?

“You don’t wanna ruin it, Dream.” Followed by Dream’s immediate, “oh what? It says-“ like immediately moving on lmao 💀 that “oh what?” Sounded like “oh what’s that there oh that’s rly weird wow let’s move on from what you just said ahem wow really weird thing over there” LMAO

“There’s a two percent chance there” LMAO

OH NO THE SILENCE WHAT

I THOUGHT I ACCIDENTALLY PAUSED THE VIDEO BUT THE SILENCE IS SO LONG AND SO LOUD

Then Dream going onto pretending like he’s gonna do another test As If he’s not been planning his escape excuse from the very moment he got those test results LMAO

And the silent pauses are taking me out 💀

‘I think we’re done’ HOW COULD HE LEAVE AT THAT POINT 💀💀💀

“COOL PODCAST” IM DEAD ON THE FLOOR

“WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY” DREAM I- WHY U SO DEFENSIVE GEORGE ASKING WHERE YOU’RE GOING IS A NORMAL THING TO ASK 💀YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S SUDDENLY LEAVING

NOT DREAM AWKWARDLY SINGING THE WIZARD OF OZ-

HE SOUNDS SO WEIRD-

The tone of his voice is so off my guy is so ready to leave and sit and stare at a wall whilst looping heatwaves for five hours 💀

:((((( drema my beloved :((((( it’s okay to be in love !!

Not him leaving- he full on ignored George’s ‘where are you going?’

He’s not going anywhere istg the moment he left that discord he put his head in his hands and just Stared 💀

Poor George 🥺

[ssamie]

three. how strange

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry 

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"so, you should tell me about yourself, y/n-chan" rika hummed "all i know is you're from canada and nothing else" she said

y/n hummed and took a small bite from her sandwich, munching lazily as she stares at rika from across her. "there's not much to say" she said. "oh cmon, there must be something" rika exclaimed

"favourite food?" rika asked "burgers." y/n responded with a look of glee "or fries. or poutines. or japanese bentos" she added

"see? im getting to know so much already!" rika said with a grin. "hm, how about your hobbies?"

"hobbies?" y/n repeated. "i like to skate.." she muttered. "what about you?"

"oh me?" rika hummed excitedly "well i play volleyball! im the girls team captain!" she exclaimed. "volleyball.." y/n mumbled as she recalled the brief conversation she had with cherry. "how do you play that?" she asked

"hm, well you just hit the ball and try to keep it in the air for as long as you can!" rika explained

"oh.. that's a bit boring" y/n said with a huff

rika spluttered and silently sulked "what do you mean?!" she exclaimed "volleyball is so fun! you get to play with your team and win! and go to competitions and-"

"rika-chan?" a girl's voice called out "who're you with?" another asked

y/n looked over her shoulder to see two girls walking towards them, holding what she assumed was a volleyball and their lunch. "oh, this is y/n-chan, she's our new classmate" rika explained. "oh, you're the transferee?" one of the girls asked

y/n nodded and quietly picked at her food, not wanting to look up and interact with the girls.

"not much of a talker huh?" the other girl mused. "well that's fine" she shrugged "mind if we eat with you guys?"

"not at all!" rika exclaimed with a grin. y/n grumbled in slight discomfort as she awkwardly sat along with the three girls.

"oh, sorry. im yuka" the girl beside her said with a wave. "i'm yuri!" the other said

"hasegawa y/n. nice to meet you." y/n replied with a straight face as she waved back at them

"hey, y/n-chan, yuka and yuri are twins and  both third years too! they're my teammates in volleyball" rika exclaimed. "is that so.." she replied "that's cool" she smiled

"man, you are really bland" yuka said with a chuckle as she slung her arm around her shoulders

"what?" y/n mumbled back as she stared up at the girl with a raised brow "a-ah! yuka meant that you're not really that expressive!" rika explained with a nervous grin "yuka-chan is bad at wording things so she comes off as mean"

"oh.." y/n muttered. yuka laughed and patted y/n on the back. "that's right, don't take it too seriously!" she said

"you should be nicer to her" yuki said with a frown as she watched y/n rub her back right at the spot where it got hit. "what do you mean?" yuka playfully scoffed "im nice! i mean why wouldn't i be?"

she then tucked some of her blue locks behind her ears and smirked. "how can i be mean to a cutie like this?" yuka cooed 

rika and yuki face palmed while y/n simply stared back at the girl with a blank smile, blinking cluelessly as the flirty remark seemed to fly over her head. "you're cute too." y/n said with a small smile as she continued munching on her sandwich

rika and yuki averted their eyes to y/n and deadpanned. "is she really that dense?" yuki sweat dropped. "it seems so" rika chuckled 

"i like you, you're cool!" yuka exclaimed as she slung her arm around the girl once more. "you should join the team" 

"team?" y/n mumbled in confusion. "I AGREE!" rika exclaimed as she slammed her hand on the table. "can you even play volleyball, y/n-chan?" yuki, who seemed to be the only sensible one, asked 

"no" y/n replied 

"i'll teach you!" yuka said with a grin "im the ace, this'll be easy!" 

"well, it's all y/n-chan's desicion if she wants to join or not" yuki said with a smile. 

"NOPE IT'S MINE!" rika interjected "im the captain so im scouting you to join!" 

y/n sweat dropped and shook her head. "can i decline?" she asked. "absolutely not." rika replied

"this is.. strange." y/n said as she inspected the ball in her hands. she dribbled it back and forth as she eyed the net. "what's with that net?" she asked them. "are we supposed to jump over it?" she asked

rika paled and immediately shook her head "ofcourse not! no one can jump that high anyways" she said. "were supposed to keep the ball from touching it. it also divides the court, as you can see."

y/n hummed and nodded in fascination. "oh. so we throw it over?" she asked

rika sighed and shook her head. "nope we hit the ball so it could fly through the air. kinda like this..." she took the ball from y/n's hands and fixed her stance to perform an overhand serve.

y/n's eyes followed her hands, watching as her palm made contact with the ball, and making it real through the air with immense speed and power.

"heh. hows that!" rika grinned. y/n looked at her with sparkling eyes, her expression laced with awe and admiration. "that's so cool!" she exclaimed "can you teach me?"

rika nodded excitedly and grabbed a different ball for her to practice with. "okay, so pretty much just throw the ball with your hand and hit it with the other" she said

"go as hard as you can. we're only practicing anyways” y/n nodded in determination and did as she was told. except, when she did her attempt, it was quite unsuccessful to say the least.

she threw the ball in the air, her aura changing into a more concentrated one, as she readied her other hand to hit.

"ouch!" she yelped as her hand missed the ball, which led to it falling ontop of her head. 

"ah, don't mind" rika chuckled "it's your first try, you'll get it right soon!" 

"right!" y/n replied

wrong. they were wrong. 

y/n couldn't perfect or let alone perform one successful serve or receive. it always ended with her tripping, missing the ball, or accidentally making it bounce onto her face

"i can't do it" she heaved out as she laid on the gym floors . "yes you can, you're just.. different.." rika sweat dropped "learning new things comes differently to others, so maybe with more practice you'll do well" rika said 

"i can't anymore" y/n huffed out as she sat up from the ground "it hurts." she gestured to her arms and face which was covered in bandaids. her arms were as red as they could be from all the impact it had been receiving. and her face was honestly close to being battered. she felt as if it was worse than the injuries she got while learning how to skate with reki. 

"but volleyball seems awesome and fun.." she muttered out in distress "i wanna play it. but i don't think i can" she said, making rika frown. 

"well.. we could always try again?" rika suggested with a smile. "im afraid if i get more bruises i won't be able to skate or move properly anymore" y/n replied with a grunt 

rika hummed in agreement. "well youre not wrong" she said 

"i wanna play volleyball.. but i also don't.." y/n said with a soft laugh "i wanna learn about it.. and be involved" she said  "maybe reki would be proud." she muttered with a smile. "..is that weird?" she asked 

rika looked over at her and shook her head with a smile "not at all!" she said "actually, it might know just what you want" 

"and that is..?" 

"please accept her as manager!" rika exclaimed to the coach as she bowed down in respect. "please!" y/n repeated as she went to stand back up, only for rika to push her head back down. 

rika sweat dropped and cupped her mouth, whispering to him with a frown "well, she's kinda bad at it so.." coach nobuteru sweat dropped and nodded. "i see." he said. 

coach nobuteru chuckled at the two and urged them to stand. "i don't understand, rika" he said "if she wants to play volleyball, why not let her join your team?" he asked 

"hasegawa y/n, correct?" he mused. y/n nodded in response, way too distracted by the boys' gym that seems to look relatively different from the girls'. "well, our manager spot is indeed open for offers" he said "we still haven't found one that's reliable and fairly compatible with the team." 

"yeah, most of the volunteers just wanna flirt with oikawa" rika explained, causing nobuteru to laugh but agree nonetheless. 

"..." y/n stared at them in confusion and tilted her head to the side, looking absolutely clueless. "who's oikawa?" she asked 

a few murmurs and snickers could be heard from outside the gym entrance, followed by some whines from a boy saying things like 'don't laugh!' or 'she's just playing hard to get!' 

"he's our team captain." nobuteru explained with a smile. "he's arguably one of the best players in the business, im sure he won't disappoint." 

"oh.." y/n muttered. "who are the other players?" she asked, not really wanting to discuss a boy she don't really know 

laughs and murmurs once again echoed through the gym walls, followed by some teasing remarks like 'oh the pretty girl's not interested in you' and the likes 

"well, we have our vice captain iwaizumi" nobuteru said. y/n then perked up at the familiar name and gasped in awe "iwaizumi-san's from our class" she said to rika who only nodded in response

"i see he's got a fan?" coach nobuteru mused. "iwaizumi is a wing spiker and our 'ace' as we may say" he said. "so cool!" y/n exclaimed with sparkling eyes as she invisioned iwaizumi spiking a ball through their opponent's blocks 

"enough!" a loud whine echoed throughout the gym walls, followed by various laughter from boys 

the three of them looked back to see oikawa crossing his arms and huffing in annoyance while some of the boys teased him 

"oh, you finally decided to show yourselves, huh?" coach nobuteru chuckled 

"coach!" the boys greeted with sheepish smiles as they put away their bags 

"well anyways, i'm guessing you've already heard our conversation" nobuteru said. "y/n seems like a nice girl.." he trailed off "she also seems interested in the sport.. and a specific player" nobuteru chuckled as he watched her discreetly look at iwaizumi with sparkling eyes and amazement 

"i'm thinking of giving her a chance." 

y/n's eyes averted towards him and blinked in surprise. "really?" she asked with a smile 

"yep. but it's only like a trial type of thing. we'll see how well you'll do, then we can all decide if you're cut out for it" nobuteru explained. "okay! i'll do it!" she agreed with a determined look in her eyes. 

beside her, rika yelped and bright her down to her height to whisper. "these boys are very rowdy so if you can't handle it, i'll totally kick off our shabby boy manager and take you in instead!" she said 

y/n looked at her in confusion and simply nodded. "okay.. but they can't possibly be that bad.." she whispered back. y/n then turned to inspect the boys, looking them up an down and studying their white and teal uniforms down to their shoes. 

"reki would look good in that" she mumbled to herself ".. the color's kinda like my hair.." she felt her cheeks heat up, causing her to jump and quickly cover them with her hands

"um.. when do i start?" she asked coach nobuteru

"right now." oikawa answered with a smirk. "nice to meet ya, manager-chan~" he winked. she raised a brow and looked him up and down. with a look of dread, she muttered; "you're the boy from class..the noisy one.." 

oikawa's face paled as he watched her bow at him then swiftly move along to greet the others. 

"eh?" he muttered in confusion. the brunette looked at her with furrowed brows and watched as she bombarded iwaizumi with questions. 

"are you really the 'ace'?" she asked him. "ah yeah.. i guess coach told you" iwaizumi replied with a sheepish smile. "are you good at spiking like rika?" she asked with sparkling eyes. "i guess so.." iwaizumi chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck 

"so cool.." she mumbled in amazement "can you teach me?" 

"ah, that's not a good idea" rika quickly interjected "at least let your bruises heal first" she sweat dropped 

"bruises?" matsukawa hummed in confusion "why'd you have bruises, hasegawa-san?" he asked

oikawa simply watched as her expression morphed into one of slight embarrassment and dread. "i.. i tried to play volleyball.. but i suck" she sulked 

the boys sweat dropped and nodded in understanding "i see." matsukawa chuckled 

"well no worries, we'll teach ya if we ever have the time" he said. y/n was seemingly cheered up by that statement alone, seeing as her lips curved into a small smile. "thank you" she said 

"hey, quit staring you pervert" iwaizumi said as he nudged oikawa with his elbow 

oikawa looked over to him and chuckled. "im not staring" he said. iwaizumi rolled his eyes and lightly hit oikawa's head with his fist. "don't even think about flirting with her" he said 

"she seems to hate you enough." iwaizumi snickered "that's what you get for annoying her in class" 

"im not gonna flirt with her—" 

oikawa abruptly paused as his eyes caught hers. she kept eye contact for a while longer  and sent him a faint smile before looking away. 

the brunette blushed as he watched her walk off along with rika and coach nobuteru 

"iwa-chan.. i think im gonna have a problem with that request of yours" oikawa  muttered out as he watched her blue locks sway in the air 

iwaizumi huffed and slapped him on the back. "geez. you got love at first sight or something?" he teased

"yeah.. i think so.." oikawa responded with a hazy smile, watching her figure disappear with a blush sprawled across his cheeks 

"wait what? seriously?" iwaizumi asked in surprise "you can't be serious.. don't mess with me or her like that" he warned him. "im not!" oikawa huffed "im telling the truth, okay!" 

"whatever" iwaizumi rolled his eyes "let's get practice going" 

on the other side of the gym, y/n shuddered, which gained rika's attention. "something wrong?" rika asked her. "oikawa-san was staring at me..." she said with a small whimper ".. creepy.." 

rika sweat dropped and patted her back comfortingly "maybe he likes you" she jokingly said with a laugh. "i mean, it's not a bad thing. he's cute and nice. he's actually pretty fun to be around" 

"reki's like that too.." y/n muttered with a smile, completely disregarding the topic about oikawa. 

"who's reki?" rika asked with a curious hum. "he's my best friend." y/n replied "he's in okinawa right now."

"i wonder what he's up to.." 

"oi, redhead where's SNOW?!"  "SNOW's been gone for a few days, the beefs are getting boring!"  "i miss betting on her"  "we wanna see SNOW!" 

reki gulped as he watched almost the entirety of S rampage about the absence of their favourite rookie "ah, she's just taking a break for now!" reki exclaimed with a nervous smile 

reki sighed and simply walked back to his friends, groaning in exasperation as he sat on the ground next to miya "its no use, they won't buy it" he said. "well yeah." miya huffed "they love betting on her cus she always wins" 

"yeah right, she didn't even get injured last time"  "he's totally lying!"  "just tell SNOW to come!" 

"why don't we just tell em" shadow shrugged "not like she's coming back any time soon" 

reki frowned and shook his head. "that would stir a lot of commotion" he said "but i guess you're right. y/n can't really come to S anymore if she's not here." reki sighed in distress "AGH, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO LEAVE ANYWAYS?!" 

"SHE COULD'VE STAYED HERE INSTEAD OF MOVING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY!" reki whined "now i don't have my best friend!" 

"no, it can't be.." 

everyone froze as the oh-so-familiar voice rang across the air. they looked back to see ADAM with his jaw slightly agape, and his hands shaking from either anger or disbelief. maybe both. 

"no way, it's ADAM" reki clenched his fists "what the hell is he doing here?" 

cherry frowned and nodded along. "yeah. there are no major beefs of events tonight.." he said 

"my.. my little y/n.." adam whimpered "she left me.." 

reki grimaced at the nickname and glared at the man, looking at him in utter distaste as he stood up warily. 

"NO! I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!" adam exclaimed in anger. he was seething, basically shaking from anger in distress. 

"you." he pointed at reki. "where is SNOW." he asked through gritted teeth 

"im not telling you ADAM." reki said with a glare. "leave her alone." 

adam scoffed and turned on his heels, picking up his board and walking off with tadashi following suit. "tch. i do not care." he said. "i don't need an interposing nuisance like you." adam scoffed 

"it doesn't matter if i have to search the whole country or let alone the world.." adam trailed off 

he placed his hand on top of his pounding chest and grinned. in a menacing tone, he muttered;

can you tell im a fucking wattpad author with how fast the oikawa suddenly liked her 

"i will find you, my eve." 

[miy4bot]

peppermint

pairing: yaku x gn!reader;

genre: fluffy winter-ish fluff, safe for work, your child can read this;

warnings: kenma being a salty hoe, some swearing here and there, poor writing, 2 cool 2 beta test;

winter is cold, but a hot peppermint mocha can keep you warm 

a/n: idk what is this BUT n e ways mah boi mori needs more content 

15/01 

cherishing your friends is the most normal thing on earth, would think morisuke, twirling in his hands the lucky charm you gave him before the match with nohebi. after all, it’s a nice sign of support and faith that gave him a pretty big boost of confidence. an average reaction, yaku says with a nervous smile while looking away from kuroo. one thing tetsu knows about his friend for sure - he can’t lie to someone’s face. 

the evening started to fade out, replacing ruddy sunset with the haze of nightfall. all of nekoma’s members were already on their way home, minus one particular third-year libero, who was standing at the bus stop, checking his phone. tonight wasn’t such a big of a deal - after all, it’s been years since he started coming to your house and sleepovers were a casual event for you both.

ding 

[17:43] y/n: moriii

[17:44] y/n: where the f r u

[17:44] y/n: it’s cold

the moment he saw the display lighting up with your name on it, a warm feeling spread through his soul.

[17:44] mori: at the station 🙄

[17:45] mori: freezing my ass while waiting for you  

yaku, indeed, is quite a straightforward and a confident person - he never hesitates to give you his honest opinion on whatever the topic is. but since the day he caught himself thinking about you it was fairly difficult for him to express all the thoughts on his mind. and still, he’s sure you already caught up on that, right? you wouldn’t be so sweet and flirty with him otherwise. or are you just trying not to hurt his feelings? or… 

“morisuke!“ the cheerful expression on your face rapidly changes into a worried one. “why are you even standing? your ankle needs a rest, don’t you remember?“ 

gosh. yes, he does remember about the ankle. but he can’t control his hands reaching out for your bag, so you dodge him.  

“no, winner, you think i will let you do that?“ the nickname you gave him made his pale cheeks turn into a cherry-ish tone. Miyagi’s icy wind was doing its job.. yeah, the weather today was pretty chill. “i’ve got you the simpson biscuits.“ 

the sudden mention of that damn cookies makes a little giggle escape yaku’s mouth, following a burst of loud laughter. 

“thanks, i hate them.”

 29/01

something about mori’s presence never fails to make you feel safe and cozy. maybe those are the results of spending the past two years near him, maybe it’s just yaku himself, but god does it feel nice to curl your body into his while laying on a futon sofá. his steady heartbeat felt like a lullaby, mixing with background noises of “nightmare before christmas” and wind blowing outside. if someone saw this scene from the far without knowing you both, they would definitely think it’s a sappy couple’s pastime. thought, kai already thinks you’re a sappy couple. 

a starbucks cup of peppermint mocha with morisuke scribbled on it was cooling on the chabudai. 

your eyelids started to get heavy under the weight of accumulated fatigue and stress. the last thing you could sense was the light touch of the roughened fingertips on your thigh and soft kiss on the hairline. 

[1:23] ken: why did you leave the server 

[1:23] ken: dont tell me u r as lame as kuro and fell asleep

[1:27] mori: stfu you don’t even crop your memes fuck you 

[1:28] ken: stop babying ur boo and come back kei team is beating my ass 

[1:28] ken: im alone 

yaku audibly gasps at the “boo” and bite his lip, trying to calm down the urge to snap at kenma through voice messages. it’s not like he listens to them anyways.

[1:30] mori: they’re not my boo or wtv bleached loser

[1:30] ken: yaku idfc who they r just join already

his gaze glides over your body, stopping on the parted lips. datemate, huh? maybe it was something special going between you two. maybe not. you always left him with a bunch of unanswered questions and a blunted feeling of hope. yaku has no doubts about his libero skills, about his grades or how damn attractive he is, but social interactions weren’t exactly his strength, let alone romantic ones. the first and the last time mori overstepped his pride and asked for advice was two month ago in the discord group chat. let’s just say kuroo isn’t the best romantic advisor out of here.   

what will change if you actually start dating? 

ice crystals slowly began to melt in yaku’s hands as he formed a snowball. the clock showed it’s half past four of the evening, half an hour later than the time you both agreed to meet.

winter is mori’s favourite. the way his heated body collides against january cold, warm khaki parka his mom got him on his 16 birthday, snow angels and even KFC chicken he despises doesn’t taste so bad. you were supposed to go on a cute and cliché coffee-shop date, that nishinoya strongly recommended. it was still a mystery to morisuke how yuu found out about his little crush, but the idea of being able to sit down and look at you peacefully drinking hot drink while the snow covered the streets of tokyo seemed quite nice.

but yet, you are a sleepy head. 

and he knew it better than anyone else.

rubbing your eyes, you tried to focus your gaze on the phone’s display. it’s thursday. evening. the evening. your maybe date with yaku was supposed to happen like half an hour ago, if not more. and he’s probably waiting for you while freezing himself outside. abruptly getting up from the warmth of the bed and ignoring the darkness in eyes, you approach the window.

the moment you decided to get your head out and look up if he’s here, a sharp sensation of prickly frost burst your cheek. 

a fucking snowball?

staring blankly at your hand, you blink twice in disbelief. 

“good morning, y/n l/n, i hope you slept well” a loud voice cuts through the dead silence in your neighborhood. well, it definitely woke you up from your daydream, won’t lie.

briskly going down the stairs, meanwhile wrapping yourself in a warm and fluffy cardigan, you cursed yourself for being such a mess. oh gosh, how could you totally forget about such a thing? after getting so hyped about it and spending 3 hours choosing the clothes you would wear?

standing right in front of him feels awkward. as it should, you think, especially after making him wait for you for 30 minutes straight. trying to escape his curious look, probably because of your new pajamas, you sigh. 

“well, do you still wanna get something hot with me?” 

libero chuckles and the annoyance he was feeling not so long ago disappears. 

“bet.”

taglist: @oof-she-needs-therapy @ennoshitasimp​ 

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[queer-starling]

Flower ask: also all of them. you get to suffer with me >:3€

oh darlin’ we’re in it now huh

Alisons: Sexuality?

homogay

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/they | all gender will be shot on sight

Amaryllis: Birthday?

sept 23rd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

monkshood

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

stranger things or ghost adventures

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

like? distance? a couple miles probably

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lifeIs rounded with a sleep.” William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

wild cherry capri sun

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ima change that to ‘kiss the last person u thought abt kissing’ bc YES

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

*jenna marbles voice* hell yeah!!

Baneberries: Favorite song?

waiting for the end - linkin park 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

chaos

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i have too many to list !!! brandi, kasey, you, liz, ivy, nick , just to name a few!!

Begonia: Favorite color?

blue uwu

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

foxes !! and opossums

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night time babey

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

either a fox or an opossum or a raven, i think

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

i wanted to be a vet !!!

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

theyre ok as long as theyre not screaming and/or mine

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

i don’t liike vomit bc. nastey (trauma i think) and i don’t like old ppl well. i dunno why? they’re just so old and fragile and helpless and sometimes they’re really mean and idk i think it’s like something to do w death or something LMAO idk. also i just hate the idea of becoming old and having to rely on other people ?? hhh

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i was bullied a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

realistically? probably playing dead by daylight with my girlfriend ADFSGRHYUTR

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

happily taken 

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

ireland, scotland, alaska, greece

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

whenever my friends or family tells me they love me but esp when u text me goodmorning or when we say our goodnights sorry im gay haha

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

i have. uuuuhh 6

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

no!!! i want some tho :(

California Poppy: Height?  

i think im like. 5′5 or something? give or take an inch ?

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

oh absolutely. my house is haunted as we speak

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

bmth hoodie and pajama pants w foxes all over them. i just woke up lol

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yeah i always keep one on in the bathroom

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my sister bc she came home from college yesterday

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

ask me in like. a little over a month from now ;)

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

FONT??? the animal crossing font

Columbine: Are you tired?

oh absolutely

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

thanksgiving, christmas, seeing my gf, magfest

Coneflower: Dream job?

idk if it’s a job but i just wanna own like. a ranch that takes in all sorts of animals and takes care of them

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert 

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

ooooh yeah

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i mean. depends on what they want/need. distance wise? i’d travel the known universe for u  

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

he was a plaid teddy bear his name was Stanley!!!! i miss him :( but now i have Little Moon God as my favourite stuffed animal 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libro

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

Working in Yellowstone is something I’ll never forget

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

well. hmm. i was gonna say flying to yellowstone but maybe driving to north carolina by myself bc driving long distances alone to places i haven’t been before gives me hella anxiety (i’m better now)

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? 

i don’t pay rent in this house to listen to their opinions lmao. 

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

you, i think, when we said goodnight last night!!! EDIT: you this morning!!

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

being bad at dead by daylight

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

dead by daylight

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

(little over a month now but uhhh) GOT A UH ......GIRL.....FRIEND ...... GOT TO VISIT GIRLFRIEND ........ and got the windshield finally replaced in my car 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

i dont know! so far ive laid in bed now im at my computer answering this. not too bad. my shift is only 4 hours today. 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

for the most part, i’m pretty content, yeah

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

MOVE OUT 

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my friends, my mom, my sisters, my girlfriend, my bastard dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

metal   

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

what does this mean. physically, i’m very affectionate, i just. don’t show it alot bc anxiety/i overthink. that and i constantly tell ppl i love them and what they mean to me 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

whoever is reading this

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

wake up next 2 a cute girl. take way too long to get up. go climb mountain w cute girl. vibe on mountain w cute girl. go to waffle house 2gether. gome home and vibe. play video games or watch a movies/tv w cute girl.  

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

i like to make art or play bideo jame

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

oh gosh i dunno. the ones i’ve known the longest are kasey and brandi, and i’ve known them both around/over a decade i think. we met in middle/highschool!

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

you, ivy, liz

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

so many 

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

idk man but i remember when you said u had a crush on me and then i posted a selfie and u were like ‘OH NO SHE’S CUTE” and like ??? idk i think that was definitely the first compliment to ever shock me LMAO 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

6.9/10

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my tattoos

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGViLwHEUk

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i liked to play zombies ate my neighbors on the sega genesis !!!!

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

eliza !!!! we lost touch a few years after i moved away :(

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

ima be real everything makes me feel guilty

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

aaaaaa the whole abi/moon incident 

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

my name is fox. it means i like foxes

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

northern virginia babey !!!! that place fucking sucks!!! but everyone who lives up there thinks they’re hot shit. 

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a bunkbed and i think the walls were pink 

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

😬 i’m just gonna say i’m much happier now and i’m coping with life and shit a lot better  

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she’s sweet and funny and i love her so much!! she always does the Most for everyone, sometimes to the point where she isn’t concerned abt herself and i see where i get it from. but yeah my mom is great, my dad doesn’t deserve her 

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

source of a lot of trauma and why i have so many issues regarding men. i don’t wanna talk about him anymore LOL he doesn’t deserve the attention

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my dad’s mom is becoming senile and i think she’s racist and queerphobic. my mom’s parents disowned her a few years ago so we don’t talk to them anymore 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

i dunno. i don’t try to remember my birthdays. whenever i can go to busch gardens for my birthday i usually have a lot of fun there. 

Peony: What was your first job?

if you don’t wanna count working w my mom as a florist, target was my first job back in 2016. i found my name tag the other day , actually

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

WELL, i know you followed me on here first. and then twitter?? but we didn’t really start talking until stranger things 3 came out (thank u stranger things) PHYSICALLY, we didn’t meet until fursonacon (haha. i remember when u texted me that u got to the hotel and i came down to help n i saw u unloading yr car and it was then that my brain was like OH NOOOOOOOO and my heart was like OH YEEEEAAAAAAAH) 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physical, mental, or emotional? i play a video game or listen to loud music

Pink: Where is home?[

somewhere in appalachia i can feel it in my stupid soul 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? 

idk man i’m pretty content w where i’m at now so 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

chester bennington 

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i have a waife and we have many great pets and we live in a log cabin in the mountains or in a nice victorian in a small town or something IDK but we’re happy and that’s all that matters 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

God

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my mom, me best friends, my girlfriend

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

my girlfriend’s laugh because it’s THE cutest shit and then when she giggles??? oh my heart 

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

oct 23rd, 2005, we brought Fat Boy Zack home !!!!

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

July 22nd, 2016. i was 2200 miles away

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

to be holding my girlfriend >:(

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

hhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

those i hold dear

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

enough, i guess? 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

my girlfriend

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

it’s fucking BORING and TOO EASY and they don’t pay me ENOUGH but i can get away with so much shit there so ima still go, ima still go 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

all of the flannels currently in my possession

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

mountains, woods, forests, cabins, autumn, cryptic, occult, victorian, edwardian

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

if someone gets me a gift i’m legally required to execute them

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this 40hr workweek i got coming up 

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

i have not read in So Long

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Moved out away from here lol, we’ll see

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

:/

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m a furry

that was SO LONG im sorry i also put you through that but THANK YOU ENJOY READING ILU

[sarinataylor]

Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that. 

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence 

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah? 

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of  I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which.   doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen? 

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time? 

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird? 

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO)  because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you’re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd????????? 

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i.     i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful 

but also, ok fine. 

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album 

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho  she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel ��any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[feelings-n-shitx]

things ive wrote in notes app for easy access

note to ethan:

from sometime in may 2021

why would you do this to me? you tell me you’re sad and i try my absolute hardest to help, i actually think about what i’m saying i TRY. i write you whole paragraphs, i genuinely try to make you feel better but when i pour my fucking heart out to you all i get is some bullshit response like ‘i’m here for u’ or ‘ik u can get thru this 🥺’? it’s like you don’t even fully read what i say either. if you were here for me you’d try. if you were here for me you’d talk to me. you KNOW you’re my only friend l, you KNOW you’re the only friend i’ve had in 5 years so why would you do this? why would you lie to me? i told you how i felt before and you said it was because you don’t use instagram, and discord would be better, but NOTHKNG has changed?? you say you’re here for me and then leave me on read? i would get if you didn’t. want to talk to anyone but i know that’s not true, because all you fuckin talk about is Val or whatever. if you can spend all of your time with her why is 20 minutes to talk to me so hard for you? i find it really easy to believe you just genuinely don’t care because this isn’t the first time you’ve left me in the dust for someone you just met. it happened your last girlfriend, eliza or something like that, you left me for weeks at a time for her, after spending ages talking to me regularly like a decent fuckin friend. then it happened again with val i’m TIRED of it. if you don’t care PLEASE JUST FUCKING TELL ME. PLEASE. IM SICK OF WONDERING AND GETTING BULLSHIT ANSWERS. PLEASE PLEASE JUST TELL ME. I DONT CARE IF IT HURTS JUST TELL ME. BE BLUNT. PLEASE.

or if i’m wrong correct me. because from what i can gather i’m right here.

ur just honestly a bad friend

23/04/21

i wanna go but i cant. i feel so lost and trapped i just can’t do this anymore. it’s always there but i take myself away from it because i know that if i didn’t i would t be able to take it. i don’t wanna be here but i don’t wanna hurt my family

08/03/21

i think i’m having a panic attack?? ?

i was thinking about the universe and that eel thing and that nothing matters it never has and it never will and all of our problems our made up by us and capitalism and we aren’t meant to be doing this

and mow i’m think i’m paranoid cus i’m scared that the gorernment monitors everything and if i talk about this i’ll be in danger i’m so scared i don’t know what to do

hungry all time

i just wanna eat, i’m so hungry but i can’t. i won’t let myself. it’s not that i’m starving myself purposefully, i just genuinely can’t eat anything, i can’t swallow without gagging, the thought of it makes me ill. it hurts so bad i’m so hungry

i feel so anxious i don’t know if it’s because of the coffee or not. it won’t stop i’m trying so hard but it won’t go away

i don’t wanna die but i can’t live like this. i’m so uncomfy i’m so hungry i’m so tired. i don’t know what to do i feel like i have no one i’m comfortable talking to this about.

i just wanna be me i wanna be me so bad. i wanna look like me i don’t even look like me. every time i look in the mirror i look different i don’t even know what i really look like.

i wanna live but not like this. i don’t know what to do.

am i having a panic atttack? i don’t know but i don’t like this i want it to go away.

01/03/21

i worry for my future because i have nothing to aspire to, no dreams. no dream job, dream house. because i spend quite literally all of my time living in the place i created in my head, that i have convinced myself that that’s what’ll happen, that it’ll all just appear one day. recently i have begone to question if that is really what i want, if the place i go to in my head is the life i want to live, or if i want something else that has disguised itself as that. for example, i realised that most of my fantasies are merely social interacts, hanging out with friends, spending time with a significant other. things that i can only assume others don’t feel the need to fantasise about because it is their reality. have i deprived myself of a life so deeply that i have to fantasies about such mundane situations in order to keep myself above the water? are my daydreams really me imagining what a dream life would be, a rockstar who travels the world and performs for the masses, or have i convinced myself that’s what it is in order to further deny what it really is? because when i stop daydreaming, (never by choice), i am overcome with a sense of hopelessness, self-pity, sadness and loneliness. i know the daydreams are a subconscious method of saving myself, and i think that the level of self awareness i have developed makes it hurt more. the fact that i know why i do this, why i disguise it as imagining the future i want for myself, yet i can’t do anything about it. it has become so normal that i have found comfort in it, which i suppose is the entire point, to find comfort. i know that it’s a problem, that it has become unhealthy, that it hurts the people around me, though i have no motivation to get out. i have no motivation to better myself, to repair the wound that just keeps getting bigger as time goes on.

i fear that i won’t amount to anything, or even live to my future. i don’t see myself doing anything other than the life i have built in my head. even though i know that that life is, as far as i know, almost entirely unattainable. unattainable because it is so perfect, so cherry picked and void of bad things that are inevitable in life. every person is to my standards, or at least ‘fixable’ as part of my narrative. my career there is so ideal and pristine, life sculpted to the tee. and i know that it will never be that way, though i can’t, quite literally, for the life of me, stop it. stop it enough to develop desires, dreams and ambitions to work towards.

i have no skills, talents. at least none that would be effective enough in adult life. or have i gone so deep that i am completely void of my sense of self? the self that i have lived with, grown with since the day i was born. have i completely brainwashed myself that i don’t even know myself anymore? what did i aspire to be as a young child? it bothers me that i can’t answer that. my name doesn’t even feel right anymore. what do i do?

[slommyyyy]

marvel asks!!

this is rlly long folks prepare your asses

steve: are you small or tall?

im rlly fucking short!!! bitch!!! im like five two!! hopefully i get a growth spurt soon bc bitch i dont wanna climb shit

bucky: what’s your favorite memory?

i have a bunch actually!! im gonna limit it to three bc aa theres too many,, 

SO!!! i had met viv about two months prior, and it was the summer and i was outside!! stargazing bc!! damn b its fun!! and we were texting bc ahe just woke up, and then!!!! a neighborhood cat came, and we talked abt the cat and stars and it was so nice??

anytime from when i was little at night!! stars, catching fireflies, going to the local water park, being at the beach w my mom and eating pizza, grilling hamburgers outside w my brother... mmm man i cant tell you HOW happy summer makes me?? we used to sit outside and catch fireflies and swim in an old shitty pool, and have to go inside ONLY if the amount of airplanes that flew over us was had a factor of 3, bc that number was my fav hgckygvk

fjbueod this sounds stupid bUT!! i rlly love skyping my friends?? like watching vine comps w steph and izzy, or that one time most of us all got in one MASSIVE call and micah flipped me off in front of my mom,, but anyway i had a call w my friends, and they all went out/ to sleep, and by myself, i realized?? these people make me feel so happy?? like i had been really sad for a long time and everyone just made me... good??? i watched the sun rise that morning, and i felt rlly complete man, like a new chapter of my life was starting

sam: what makes you happy?

my friends, music, and art a lot!!! also dogs in general,,

peggy: what’s your favorite era?

dude have you seen the music i listen to?? 80s/90s are my shit

thor: what’s your favorite weather?

if im outside?? warm to the point where youre sticky with sweat, but its pleasant, and dont feel like youre dying. if im inside?? summer rain!! i like the calming patter of rain and the thunder kinda just?? being there man!! watch a movie and listen to music to that jazz!!! play a ukulele or read a book!!! that weather makes me so happy

valkyrie: what’s your favorite drink?

cherry cola!! BUT!! i like the kind from those cool machines at movie theaters!! since like the canned stuff??? tastes brown w a liiiiittle bit of magenta. the bottled stuff??? more magenta but still mostly brown. the theater stuf??? hoLY SHIT!!! ITS LIKE BRIGHT PINK!!! MUTED W SOME BROWNS AND TASTES SO GOOD!!

heimdall: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

dude i cant plan the future tbh?? like maybe at college?? maybe taking time for my mental health?? idk!! also lmAO w my luck id be dead,, have you SEEN how much i get injured??? i fell off one (1) stair and broke my ankle for three weeks fsuvbeieu

korg: are you optimistic or pessimistic?

im actually realistic tbh?? i have a bad habit of looking at things from a point where its realistic to the point where its apathetic and,,, i gotta fix that man,, (also im not including my anxiety inthat bc iF I DID LMAO IDK W H A T ID BE)

peter: are you good at keeping secrets?

yeah!! unless its smth serious, then i try to get the person help from someone im POSITIVE is trustworthy, unless im positive its under control :0

ned: who is your best friend?

no!!!! no picking!!! i love all of my friends in dif ways!!! my friend cc?? my meme-y jam bud who complains abt our english teacher!! em?? fuCKIN RAD!!!! izzy?? we talk abt girls and how we love our moms!! lui?? a badass bitch!!!! kyra and jo??? my b99 buds!!! my brother was my only friend for literal years!!! id say more but this would get way too long i love all of my friends!!

michelle: do you like to go to parties?

lmaO NO IVE GOT RLLY BAD SOCIAL/GENERAL ANXIETY,, that and im never invited to any uyebve

liz: who was your high school crush?

this rlly cute girl in a few of my classes!! im too scared to talk to her thOUGH HBCEUIBS

aunt may: who or what are you most protective over?

my brother!!! holy fuck man i nearly decked some kids when i was little,,, this sounds edgy but my brother had some issues w social settings, so he was bullied, so i helped stand up for him!! we took boxing lessons for two years bitch!! got pizza on thursdays after!!.

t'challa: what is the most important thing your parents taught you?

my mom taught me to always do what i love, and i love her man,, wonderful woman,,,

shuri: are you a good driver?

bro i cant even drive and have a fear of cars

nakia: what causes are you passionate about?

a lot actually!!! rn its mostly LGBTQ+ rights, immigration, and gun control!!! i rlly enjoy arguing, but only the kind where both sides listen to each other, yknow?? bc people yelling hurts my head efvhbied

okoye: do you speak more than one language?

no,, i only speak english and have the german abilities of a two year old

m'baku: are you vegetarian?

no, sorry!! i dont eat much meat tho so i could probably go vegetarian p easily lmAO

killmonger: sunrises or sunsets?

ooo!!! i love both!! i love seeing sunrises in the morning, but i think i gotta say sunsets!! the colors are rlly pretty

peter quill: what’s your favorite song from your childhood?

my brother and i used to SCREECH hooked on a feeling its a fuckin bop

gamora: do you like to dance?

its fun but i physically??? cant?? my body doesnt know how to move so i awkwardly sway to shitty 80s music uekfbs

nebula: do you get along with your siblings?

yeah!!! my brothers one of my closest friends, and even though hes older than me,, im still shook by how old hes gotten,,,, bitches stay off the roads hes got no coordination

groot: are you quiet or talkative?

it depends on who im with!!! or how my brain is working that day!! with large groups im rlly quiet but in front of a crowd or with one to four-ish friends i know well??? ill talk your ear off,,, also sometimes my brain says!! socializing is hard so oh well

rocket: have you changed a lot since you were younger?

hdfubvyuedsvbdsiUHDBSCUI HELL YEAH!!!! dude ive developed my own opinions and gotten a lot more bitchy.... but also ive stayed the same in a few ways!! i still love art and music, and have obsessions really deeply

asgard: if you could move anywhere, where would you pick?

anywhere w my friends!!! 

brooklyn: where do you feel most at home?

outside late at night chatting w friends tbh?? it just feels right

wakanda: what is your hometown known for?

peaches!!

thank u @prcngx for tagging me!!! ily!! but you tagged a bunch of mutuals so i dont rlly have anyone to tag!!!! you monster!! ily!!

[wen-junehui]

170827 ; Diamond Edge NYC Fan Account

ALRIGHT YALL IM FINALLY READY TO FACE MY EMOTIONS AND WRITE THIS OUT!!! It’s mostly for myself because it was honestly the best night/concert of my life and the more time passes the more I’m gonna struggle remembering SO HERE GOES WOOOO (very very long mess of words BRACE YOURSELVES)

BEFORE (4am-5pm)

SO I actually managed to get up at 4am and I didn’t get much sleep anyway because I was so damn nervous BUT we got ready, ate some breakfast, and managed to leave my house by 6am! We took all the public transport we needed and walked to Terminal 5 and my friend and I were ahead of everyone else and once we were close a huge sea of people wearing rose quartz serenity appeared outta nowhere in the corner. WE WERE LIKE SHIT HOW DID PEOPLE GET HERE EARLIER THAN US YALL DEDICATED and they immediately separated us into our different sections so our friend group split up and I was in VVIP with 3 other friends.

We had a really good spot in line until a group of people who camped out the night before (SOME EVEN SINCE FRIDAY LIKE YALL CHILL PLS ITS ILLEGAL AND UGH) so they got priority in line and I was so freaking angry BUT YA KNOW WHAT MY NIGHT ENDED UP BEING GREAT SO DFLJKGH ITS ALL GOOD

We waited in line outside until 11am blasting music and dancing! Some people even recognized me from KCON and I was like UMMM HELLO??? They recognized me from my hair and now I feel like I should never change my hair color ever again LOL BUT THAT WAS COOL IM HAPPY TO GIVE HARU MORE RECOGNITION THRU MY HAIR WEE WOO

So at 11am we were moved to the rooftop and stayed there until the hi touch! It was pretty fun for the first half up until let’s day 3:30-4pm ish??? we were jamming to songs and singing svt while they were doing soundcheck right below us and THEY COULD HEAR US WOW AND one of the MMT staff (I think I heard her name was Jaylee but imma just say J) filmed us cheering for svt and shit camille and i were in the bathroom and suddenly everyone started screaming so i ran out and someone told me scoups said hi LOL SO MAH GIRL AND I WERE DANCING BY THE BATHROOMS WILDLY AND WOO we made svt laugh thats fun! my friends and i also played kpop charades/heads up to pass the time and i did 5 rounds in a row just to get cherry bomb but i NEVER GOT IT AND IM SAD BUT OH WELL

When we only had like an hour or so left it was the longest hour of our lives omg the sun was blasting its full rays on us and it was just the tail end of endless waiting that we had to endure because everything after this went by in a breeze OHOHOHO

HI-TOUCH (5pm)

ALRIGHT THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS!!! So once we started lining up and walked down the stairs my heart began to race and it finally hit me that it’s actually happening and i’m seeing svt up close AH. They had a box to drop off fan gifts on the way so I’m happy I got to pass along to Jun the Hui Hui plushie that I made! I wish I took a picture of it beforehand but I forgot ;-; 

NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL HI TOUCH!! Thanks to my lovely HARU peeps who have a much better memory than me the official order was: minghao, vernon, hosh, jun, jeonghan, jihoon, seungkwan, dino, wonwoo, dk, scoups, josh, and mingyu. SO NO ONE EXPECTED MINGHAO TO BE FIRST AND SHIT MINGHAO SHOOK ME SO HARD HE’S SO HOT IN PERSON MY HAND WAS SHAKING AS I LIFTED IT UP. To Vernon I said YO VERNON WHATS UP and he was like YEEAHHH wow vernon is so much more handsome and chiseled in person goddamn every angle in his face can cut mE. SEEING HOSH’S 10:10 EYE SMILE UP CLOSE WAS THE BEST AND HE LEANED AGAINST THE BARRIER LIKE WOW HELLO 

When I got to Jun hoh mah gah how does he exist his hair looked so soft and fluffy and YALL HIS 60 DEGREE NOSE DESERVES ITS OWN MUSEUM ITS SO BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER FEATURE IN HIS FACE AND (WHEEZE) I said “你是My I(爱）” which means “you are my i/love” AND HE JUST STARED AT ME AND THEN LOOKED TO THE NEXT PERSON SO I FELT KINDA EMBARRASSED but at the same time it was really hectic so maybe he didn’t hear me properly or was just overwhelmed or confused I DUNNO BUT GAH ITS OKAY

Okay tbh bc I was so flustered from jun I breezed through jeonghan, woozi, and seungkwan that my memories of them are kinda hazy BUT ONCE I GOT TO DINO I SLOWED DOWN BC ITS DINO YALL PLS STAN THIS TALENTED HUMAN. i don’t remember wonwoo much either bc dino but scoups and dk were the nicest and dk thanked everyone like bless this boy!! I said WHAT UP to scoups and YO WHATS UP JOSH TO JOSH AND MINGYU HELD MY HAND LONGER AND SQUEEZED IT AND WOW THE LATTER HALF WAS SUCH A NICE EXPERIENCE IM SO HAPPY

After hi touch, we entered the floor and we got a really good view of the stage only two people in front of us! BUT THE THING IS THEY WERE HELLA TALL WITH PHONES FILMING THE ENTIRE TIME but that didn’t detract from the amazing time we had! They played most of svt’s mvs like the ones they performed and once don’t wanna cry played at the end the music got louder it got darker AND SO IT BEGINS

WEN JUNHUI STARING INTO MY SOUL

Interactions get their own section because oh mah gah I’m so shook that it actually happened and wow I need to relive these on their own. SO

After the hi touch, I honestly thought shit jun thinks i’m weird omg i should’ve said something else but he kept on looking at me the entire night and i still can’t believe it happened???? I made an exact replica of my kcon ny poster that said ”我爱俊辉“ which means “I love Junhui” and I know for sure he noticed it in the first half of the concert! 

During Highlight, he kept on staring at me during the chorus!!! Like we were on the right side of the stage (Camille and I were like OKAY RIGHT SIDE IS WHERE WE GET THE BEST VERNON AND JUN VIEWS) and every time the chorus came on and he was right in front of me, he literally stared at the me the entire time for all of the choruses!!!! and like I said before i couldn’t even move during highlight so he must’ve seen how shook I was and dfjghsjdklgf oh my god I couldn’t deal like having your bias stare you down the entire night and have you as his “target” is an experience. And his stares are like an experience in itself like they’re kinda sensual in a way with the way he looks at you. dfgjhslgjkhs

DURING MY I, for the second verse during his part HE STARED AT ME AGAIN while minghao was front of him on the ground and holy heck i was so triggered like of all parts it had to be that one and it’s my favorite part of the song because his “yeah” is so freaking cute and hot at the same time dflghsjdg

ALSO WHEN THE MEMBERS DID THEIR TALK RIGHT BEFORE DONT WANNA CRY, I caught him staring at me from across the room!! That sounds so cliche but he was all the way on the left side of the stage at the end of the line. I was looking at the members in front of us but when I turned my head to look at Jun I was surprised to catch eye contact with him like HELLO?!?! All i did in response was smile and then I turned my attention back to the members in front because fdkjlhgjskd I couldn’t man.

BUT MY FAVORITE JUN MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. During the encore some members had cameras that they would film with and Jun had one. So during healing, he came over to our side again and turned the camera towards us. I lifted up my Jun poster high up so it would be in the shot AND WHEN HE TURNED BACK AROUND HE GAVE ME THE BIGGEST AND MOST GENUINE SMILE EVER. Like ya know when he smiles really widely or when he laughs all his teeth are showing and his eye smile and nose scrunches a lil THATS THE SMILE HE GAVE ME AND IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. I’m so fucking happy all of these things happened with Jun and wow I’m glad I was his target/muse for the night and that I was able to give him happiness. :’)

One of the reasons why Jun is my ultimate bias is because of how into the performance he gets and “gets into character”. His stage presence definitely catches your eye and UGH HE’S JUST SO FREAKING TALENTED AND HIS MOVES ARE SO SHARP IT COULD CUT ME INTO PIECES!!! I LOVE WEN JUNHUI

HONORABLE MENTION: YOON JEONGHAN

OKAY, I knew Jeonghan was gonna wreck me in some way because he’s one of my main wreckers BUT OH MY GOD I DID NOT EXPECT THIS MUCH.

First off during Pretty U, he smiled at me twice at the part when they’re in a circle and Seungkwan does his high note!! The first time was when he was kneeling on the floor and and did the fancy hand arm move things and the second was when he got up to sing his part! I was smiling at him the entire time and wow such a lovely moment.

During the vocal unit stages, I caught him staring at me during We’re Gonna Make it Shine and ugh my god this is only the beginning. During Don’t Wanna Listen in Secret I caught him staring at me again during the chorus and I was also mouthing the lyrics so it’s like I was basically singing along with him AND DFJKGJSD IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

BUT WHAT REALLY SHOOK ME AND I CAN NEVER LOOK AT HIM THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN. During the encore, Jeonghan was drinking water right and since he was in front of me I couldn’t help but look at him. So when we made eye contact HE WIGGLED HIS EYEBROWS AT ME AND HOLY HELL I WAS SO ATTACKED LIKE UM EXCUSE ME SIR I UM DFGKJHS. i was so flustered all I said to Camille after was FUCK YOON JEONGHAN!! he did it while drinking his ater and ugh my god I really think he was lowkey playing with me the entire night and this was the final blow. i’m so wrecked by jeonghan i’m--!!!

DIAMOND EDGE (7pm-9:30pm) [HIGHLIGHT ;) REEL]

Literally the best concert of my life. I’m never going to stop saying this because I know everyone’s really tired because having concerts at every other day is crazy af and jun, wonwoo, and jeonghan looked the most drained. despite this though everyone put on an incredible and breathtaking show. They did a lot of remixes for a bunch of their songs.

PRETTY U WAS THE OPENER AND IT WAS LIKE THAT ONE CHRISTMAS PRETTY STAGE AND IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE!! Beautiful live was also just a huge bundle of joy to see because the members were joking around and playing with each other onstage like jun and vernon had a bro moment where jun walked past vernon and vernon stuck out his tongue like YEEE BOI hehe

When vocal unit started singing We’re Gonna Make It Shine I literally started to tear because everything was so beautiful and the song has so much meaning to it and WOW IM GETTING REALLY EMOTIONAL JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN but all of vocal unit’s stages were absolutely breathtaking and hearing their voices and harmonies live damn REASONS WHY THEY’RE MY FAVE UNIT ALSO DK. OMG. THAT BOY IS SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME IN PERSON. And his eyes are so twinkly like I’m convinced actual stars live in his eyes I compared his eyes to Jeonghan and Seungkwan who were beside him and wow his eyes just light up the entire room :’)

HIP HOP UNIT DOE. OH MAH GAH LIT DOESN’T EVEN DESCRIBE HALF OF IT. everyone was so freaking pumped but y’all vernon’s stage presence stood out the most because he was honestly just letting himself go and having the time of his life and feeling the beat and feeling himself LIKE YAAASS BOI U GO. He’s definitely of the top 3 performers of the night HE. IS. SO. GOOD. when he said pretty motherfucker I WAS LIKE FUCK YES AND I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM FOR A BIT FOR PRACTICE WHAT U PREACH BC CAMILLE AND I WERE JUST GOING AWF IN ON THE FLOOR. Also WONWOO!! He didn’t show much emotion(? for lack of a better word) throughout the night and seemed kinda intimidating but there was something about him that made me keep staring at him and wow seeing him for the first time live since we wasn’t at kcon ny last year i was definitely captivated by him. And when we went FUCK YEAH I WAS LIKE DFKJGHJSD YAAASS

ALRIGHT. PERFORMANCE UNIT. H I G H L I G H T.  OH. MY. GOD. OHMYGOD. (omg was amazing too btw dlfjghdsk performance unit is DFKJGDSJKG) I literally could not move while watching Highlight. It’s my second fave svt song after Pretty U and I was in awe. I couldn’t even scream or move (my friend was shook that I was so still and didn’t make a sound LOL) I was so in shock at how beautiful it was in person. As much as I wanted a fancam of it from my perspective i didn’t even dare to reach for my phone let alone look anywhere else because it was such a masterpiece. AND OKAY THEY DID THIS THING WHERE THEY ADDED AT THING AT THE END AND JUN SLOWLY ROTATED HIS HEAD AND WOW HIS ADAM’S APPLE CUT MY PUPILS AND SNATCHED THEIR EDGES HOH MAH. ALSO I’m serious y’all need to stan Dino like everyone that I talked to about Dino they’re like he’s too young. But you can still stan him!!! Romantic feelings are not a requirement to stan people!!! appreciate him for his talent!!! His stage presence and dancing is THE BEST in the group and i’m telling you I call him the child prodigy for a reason. Hoshi and Minghao are AMAZING performers as well and ugh every single person in perf unit is PERFect okay. I’m so thankful I got to see OT4′s version of highlight because it’s absolutely amazing live.

MY I. HOOOOOOOH MAH GOODNESS. THIS SONG. THIS PERFORMANCE. THIS CHOREOGRAPHY. CHINA LINE. EVERYONE STAN CHINA LINE. Again I was in complete awe. I couldn’t move I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t LIVE. The way they smoothly incorporated the ribbon was so beautiful and during the part where jun and minghao do wushu jumps after jun did his thing he was smiling and laughing bc apparently he messed up? I’m not sure my friend said he did but I could’ve sworn I saw him do his jump and i dunno seeing him being so smiley and cute was dkjfhgjdf AND MINGHAO STROKED JUN’S CHEEK AT ONE POINT LIKE WOW AMPLIFIED THE EMOTION OF THE SONG SO MUCH

So the encore was ughhh the cherry on top! I’ve always wanted to get water splashed on me like ya know how the artists get so hyped and ish with the water YEAH IM SO HAPPY MY FIRST TIME WAS WITH SVT. The first time we got splashed was with scoups AND IT GOT IN MY EYE and the second time we were kinda drenched it was beautiful i’m so happy that happened and us jumping along with them during healing was the best experience ever. when they did shining diamond i was so happy to clearly see the part where hosh is in the front and everyone’s leaning on their thighs such an iconic part and considering shining diamond has so much meaning behind it and the song that started it all i’m truly thankful to have seen it its full glory :’)

AND I CAUGHT A BUNCH OF MEMBERS STARING AT MY BONGBONG NEW YORK POSTER DURING THE ENCORE! Like I noticed Vernon and Jeonghan looking at my poster but Seungkwan!!! Seungkwan was the most memorable because it was when he started crying so when he saw my poster he started to cry more AND DFGJHSJ BOO BOO MY HEART. Making that poster stressed me out a lil bit but I’m glad it turned out nicely in the end at that they loved it. :’)

LAST THOUGHTS

Okay this post covers a huge chunk of the night but my entire google doc of my memories has a bunch more. i’m so thankful for seventeen and being a carat and watching them grow. from debut to now, i can’t thank them enough for all the happiness and positivity and hope they’ve given me and i’ll never forget this concert and everything about this day. i will never stop supporting and loving them and i already can’t wait until they come back. thank you seventeen for everything and giving us a phenomenal show. 

we’ll always be your shining diamonds acting as your light whenever things may start to get dark. ♡

[mefukimeme-gonebithc]

SWINGS OPEN DOOR FRANTICALLY AND POINTS AT ALL THE EMOJIS: do it

.........................oh boy

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

HMMM most of them id rather not talk about since theyre really personal/a lot of them arent really secrets since i have talked abt them but they can easily go unnoticed sooooo

im confessing to having a thing for gloves i guess??? specifically black cloth gloves (im not a fan of leather, feels Weird) so. ye. 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

All (in the end id probably be getting hugged tho haha im v awkward at hugging vs being hugged)

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CARBINKS!!! anything that i deem cute is my favourite (ex. r/owlets, m/imikyus, bonus since theyre a dark/fairy >:3c!!, pum/pkaboo, etc) 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

donald trump would be dead and obama can stay president for another 4 years until the world gains potential candidates that arent shitty

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

I Dont Think I Want To Talk About It. ill just link the post. (btw thats my dream journal blog, i should use it more)

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i have multiple so hmm.....maybe the fact they put up with my gay bullshit

😘 talk about your crush or partner

gay. moving on.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya betch

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

-hair

-singing

-cuteness factor

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

HMM im mainly scared of losing my friends and thatll take more than just mental training to move on, but uhh i DO have a mild fear of getting assaulted..........idk how to fix that bc its actually really bad paired up w paranoia

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

kuro kiryu. he can also easily make me cRY WHEN HES A FUCKING RANKING CARD.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

when they do stuff theyre not asked to do and complain like “oh my GOd [persons name] why cant you do this??? im so tired, i just wanna rest, but i HAVE to do this!!” like shut up no one asked you to do it, if youre so tired to rest first and then do it.

another irritating thing is people who use the term “special snowflake” unironically especially on kids who make edgy/mary sue ocs like shut up ugly let them grow up and regret their choices by themselves, dont teach them its okay to make fun of younger people for their edgy ocs

😤 do you get angry easily?

irritated??? ya, angry??? no

youd have to do some fucked shit to get me angry, but i do get irritated fast

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I DONT THINK I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM HERE,,,

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

-education system

-change how the U.S. ignores the struggles of third world countries unless it profits them/benefits them

-solar energy  

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

“GKL JGAE THE ODDBALLS”

kiss - wataru

befriend - rei

marry - natsume

kill - shu

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

SAN DIEGO!!! its got such a nice vibe, its never too hot there, NATURE!!! I LOVE THE SCENERY THERE EVEN IN THE CITY THERES TREES AND ITS SO NICE!! its just got such a nice vibe to it i havent felt anywhere else and its SO NICE!!

☕️ talk about your ideal day

ideal day, i get to be home alone, play both of AKATSUKI’s albums while talking and playing games with friends without worry ill be too loud to anyone else, i get good food, and i have a nice dream that i remember vividly

alternatively, visiting a bunch of greenhouses/nature filled areas would be Great

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

uhh im gonna go with ambivert/introvert leaning

💧 when was the last time you cried?

crying as in “i feel like Death”, literally a few hours ago because i remember the daikagura kuro.....

as in actually breaking down, yesterday was really bad grhgra

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

1. love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

2. temptation magic

3. ryusei hanabi

4. hinakura to neji ama 

5. the living ghost is alive

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

HMMM this is actually hard for me to pick bc ive had multiple kins where i had powers fuc UHHH

its really hard for me to pick just one, so i guess ill just list off top 5 and why

1. teleportation - i could teleport to my friends cities, also i could prob trick people into thinking im running when im just teleporting inch by inch/foot by foot >:3c

2. deceiving ability like kano - ,,,it seems pretty neat

3. the ability to cheer people up - ,,, it seems pre

4. shapeshifting/transformation - theres absolutely no consequences to being able to make myself taller.........

5. weapon/item creation - i could just make headphones instead of buying them AND i can ensure theyll last

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont worry about how youre being treated now, itll get better

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ahh, its hard for me to be jealous uhh

in one aspect, i guess te/tora since hes so energetic and hes paired so often with ku/ro...im pretty jealous

in another aspect, j/acksep/ticeye or th/omas san/ders. id love to be able to make a difference to others like how they do, not to mention id love to be as energetic as them

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

bravery definitely. im fairly kind, i have enough brain power (OOOOO AIEOU JOO-) to get by, im fine with how cute i am >;3c, wealth is good but over bravery which im very much lacking in, id rather be brave so i could do so many things id love to do......

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

in a joking manner: my kink for intimidating characters. @ me chill

in a serious matter: probably the fact im awful at trying to cheer people up and i feel awful fornot even trying anymore

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i know english, im VERY limited in thai/lao/japanese, and i know next to nothing of spanish/german/french but i did take a few notes about them bc i was bored. i wanna learn thai/lao the most so i can connect with my culture more, but japanese would be nice since a lot of stuff i enjoy is japanese and i dont wanna hastle others to translate stuff for me haha

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

KURO KIRYU I LOVE HIM

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

a universe where im energetic, not lazy, and motivated to continue on in life and make the world just a tad bit better. and i live with my friends in a nice house in san diego!!

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

,,, i really dont know, and thats why im disappointed in myself

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

demon. theres so many types of demons i dont have to be malicious, plus i could blend in fairly well. theres no rly big downside except ill be frowned upon by other divines

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

someone: you hurt my boyfriend you take away his fp you pretty much fuck him over and you proceed to have gross/abusive kinks shut the fuck up ugly i hate you so much and i never even talked to you i never want to see you mention his url or name ever again youre so awful

something: school fucking sucks and i can bring up a lot of reasons for this. 1: some of the teachers hired are only hired to educate, so personality wise they could be oppressive towards their students. 2: while i do feel like having a core lesson plan is okay, FORCING kids into certain core subjects is bad and they end up not learning because they feel like they HAVE to be their best or else theyll fail, and thats awful. the grading system isnt completely awful, since it shows kids areas that need to be improved, but making it some life changing thing is just...bad...because at that point it goes from “well you need to improve in these areas, so why dont we offer you help so theyll be easier!!” to “GET BETTER AT THIS OR BE FOREVER UNEMPLOYED” and i hate it. i could rant about this.

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

ive just been.....depressed bc of low swing my dude. a big issue would be my entire “i want to do good but i suck” thing, and yesterday i had a really bad dream as stated earlier and it made me extremely anxious for the entire day until i finally talked to my friend about it. theres also the fact i have school but theres no way i can finish it now

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

vet, now im like...im unsure... i wanna get into architech/floor planning/house designing and also be sort of like a youtube/internet idol??? if that makes sense......idk

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

ice cream is one of the only ones i can tolerate haha- i LOVE mochi ice cream but i cant get them fresh here since theres no east asian centric stores here (only southeast/hispanic fusion stores) so rip... ia lso like cheesecake a fair bit

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

kur/o kiryu. or e/nstars in general i guess

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my breathing gets a bit faster, my chest starts vaguely aching and i get nauseous

😪 what are you sick of?

THE COLD. ITS S O C O L D. PLEASE HELP.

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

nope, not really. i do awful at horror games, im terrified of roller coasters, and the thought of jumping out of a plane makes me wanna decay

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

sh/u it/suki is Bad. the y/oi fandom is made up 80% of really bad fuj/oshi who later hopped onto an extremely controversial manhwa. hea/thens wasnt too bad of a song. i still like mi/necraft/happy tr/ee friends. i like rh/ythm games but dont like rh/ythm heaven. mc/a wasnt awful. ut/apri as an anime isnt too bad but definitely doesnt match up to the games quality in both art and story telling. id/olm@st/er is a tad bit over rated. ens/tars should be localized to ENG.

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

haha nope

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

draw/VERY rarely sew/read tarot, which is what im supposed to be doing anyways

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

uhhh it was either te/mptation magic or love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

how i cant cheer people up or help people be more positive. ir aelly dont know how i can improve it my dude, but im thinking.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

usually bunnies, but if im feelin crafty ill doodle an anime char

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age mostly

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

INTP, and idk its just there

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

“the battle: ra*bits” MMMMMMMMM nito. dgmw i love mits/uru and i loved how energetic he was + i liked mitsuru too but ni/to introduced me to ku/ro in my canon and he was very supporting of me/tried his best to help me

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont really have a CELEBRITY celebrity fave but itd def be t/homas sanders internet wise

🐴 opinion on __?

“holds up kiibo”

a good boi. i trust him

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

ehh its actually really hard for me to become emotionally unless im deeply attached to something sooo not really

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

ghost girl, maximum ride, and cr*zy

i dont remember any quotes from the first and last books BUT “WE’RE LIKE FREAKIN BALLERINAS AND YOU ARE LIKE A FRIDGE WITH WINGS” will always be my fave

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

listen to music, isolate myself justtt a tad bit, and try to distract myself. it helps to a certain extent, but it wont save my ass

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

k/uro ki

🌍 which country do you live in?

america

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

a fucking asshole

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“you think youre ugly but youre just not your type” -some tumblr post i cant find atm

💭 do you keep a diary?

i keep a dream journal, but i stopped keeping diaries because im wayyy too paranoid someones gonna snoop

💫 who inspires you?

HMMMM chi/aki morisawa, tho/mas sanders, and j/acksepticeye

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

ye, theres no proof that they DONT exist (although you could argue theres also no evidence that they DO exist), PLUS i have had some experiences with ghosts! also itd be fuckin....awkward if id idnt considering i wanna get into s/pirit work

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

ko/toko ut/sugi is the only way i could describe it. kinda gothic-punk??? i used to be into yum/ekawaii and fa/iry kei but i ended up falling out of them.

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

MMM ri/se of the gua/rdians was pretty good, zo/otopia was also good...the book of life was really good and i wanna watch it again now ahhh

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

idonthaveonemymemorypastsixmonthsisgoneandmychildhoodwasfilledwithmebeinginsulted UHH one time in 6th grade i dated a dude and he gave me a teddybear/candy for valentines day and it was really nice, i felt bad since i didnt get him anything and i feel bad for not even breaking up with him to his face

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

bunny. thats all

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

KURO KI