#IM GONNA MARRY THE SHIT OUT OF THIS MF

[bpdamn]

LOOK WHAT I CAME HOME TO YOU GUYS

[ragingtwilight]

I love Max from Sam and Max so much i love max i love max i love max i love max i lo

[pixiesndberries]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃, 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 —

a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !

☆ OUR STARS : Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !

━ REQUESTED BY : none

━⁠ WARNINGS : none

ෆ PIXIE'S NOTE ! : were back again at daily posting 🙏🏻 to my pookies who supported me, y'all made me giggle and kickin' my feet in my bed last night 👉🏻👈🏻 love lots!

GOJO SATORU, as your husband !

• Gojo being your husband is no different from being your boyfriend — he still gotta be that same person you dated few years ago, though he became more serious about situations and decisions because you guys are married but his goofy, annoying, clingy side is still there — I mean when he met you and been with you for like two weeks your caller name is already set as 'wifey'.

Gojo who totally acts like a mom when you leave for work, he is like a freaking HOUSEWIFE —

"honey!" he sings as he walks into the living room seeing you brush your hair Infront of the mirror, getting ready for work. "hmm?" you responded and quickly turns your head at him — he's wearing a this is what an awesome husband looks like apron which made you too stunned to speak, "I created a bento for you." he smiles as he hands out a nicely wrapped bento box which was really new to you because it's always you who keep creating bentos for him, usually when he leaves for a mission.

"thank you, honey." you say softly with a warm smile as you accept his bento that he specially created for you, he can't help but to feel like a love sick teenager seeing you smile like that. He officially takes the position of being a housewife 🫡

Gojo who couldn't stop talking about the future he wants with you like nonstop — this man would talk about having three million carbon copy of him with you and would name them after megumi, yuji, nanami and basically all of his friends, students, and dead relatives 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 — I FEEL LIKE HE GOTTA BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.

Gojo always flexes you everyday and YOU are his hyper fixation — argue with the wall, he gotta be the type of man to say "she's my wife." randomly when he's talking to an old friend he haven't seen for a long time. HE WILL BE THE HUSBAND WHO YOU WILL SEE WEARING "I LOVE MY WIFE" TYPE OF SHIRT WITH THE UGLIEST FONT AND PHOTO TEMPLATE EVER. Once a person mentions your name he ain't gonna shut the fuck up.

I just know this marriage go'n be like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's relationship 🙏🏻 ABSOLUTELY RANDOM TEXTS FROM HIM, UPDATING YOU TOO MUCH.

2:32 pm

gojo : shitting at the mall cuz i don't have anywhere to shit on.

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : i miss you my wife, my beautiful wife.

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : your very handsome husband ❤️

2:40 pm

you : stop spamming me messages love, im at work 🙏🏻

gojo : why? is it turning you on 😏

you : that's a photo of your feet.

Gojo who became a seriously hands on person when you told him that you're pregnant — when he has missions with yuji, megumi, or maybe nobara and you told him that you're very tired to do anything today he will be like,"okay kids, I got to go I have important things to do." and dashed away before they could say something and mf arrived at yalls house within a second.

Gojo who cried when he carry his baby for the first time, he was sobbing like hell — girl dad? boy dad? BRO HE IS BOTH ‼️ "okay we'll name this one suguru and this one-" he is going to come up with the most ridiculous names, probably the worst one was his dead ancestor.

okay seriously, Gojo would be a full time dad after his children were born — he will always stay at home as much as he can, having twins isn't easy plus he's trying to help you with his full power and make sure you don't feel alone through this.

"gojo.." you grumble as you felt his presence disappearing next to you at bed, you open your eyes and sees he wasn't there which led you to stand up and start looking for him — you walk out of the bedroom and noticed that the twin's bedroom door was open so you check it out.

in your suprise, gojo was in the rocking chair with the twin's in his arms peacefully sleeping and he is snoring like hell. You can't help but smile seeing this moment, it warms you heart. You quickly grabbed your phone and took a quick photo, this is what you exactly wished for.

Gojo who couldn't stop posting you and his little angels and his fans are absolutely living for it, it's like his day wouldn't complete without posting cute photos of his angels and of course, you as well. Gojo is indeed a Facebook mom —

; gojosatoru

tagged : @y/n.instagram | fam time 🤍 !

liked by megumi.22 and 8,957 others

itaaa.yuji | I volunteer as a tribute to babysit them 🫡

nobaraaa | CUTIES.

shokoleiri.7 | adorbs

─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

[buntobeans]

delirious venture after tooth surgery

warnings: blood, venture is like HIGH from anesthetic nothing much else

idk if anyone has written this but it's so cute seeing all those videos with people after surgeries being absolutely ZOOTED and having no idea what planet they're on

also i am NOOTTTT a dentist by any means im just going off of my fanfic delirium.... it's 4am this is a pretty bad work but i GAWT TO BE ON MY VENTURE GRINDSET

sooo we all know how sloan has a chipped tooth, right? not entirely sure what it's from, their chipper highlight intro or them eating a rock- either one is funny as hell

to say you freaked out was an absolute understatement, there was blood everywhere and sloan was just looking at you like:

:D

"amor, look what i found!" they hold up the rock in their hands so proudly like a cat that's brought back a dead mouse

"SLOAN, YOU'RE LITERALLY BLEEDING."

you force them to drop the rock/artifact or leave it with the wayfinders, ensuing in a very pouty sloan

one trip to the emergency room later sloan is ZOOTED

literally space ranger the way they are NOT on earth

you go to pick them up, they're in the waiting room

you're relieved by the fact that they're okay but you're absolutely not prepared for what comes next

the medical staff informs you that they're very out of it, slyly adding along that you must be "the partner with (e/c) eyes that sparkle in the sunlight"

the what

you enter the room to see them having an extremely animated conversation to anyone that will listen, whether it's the doctors or the potted plant on the table next to their seat

as soon as they namedrop you you feel extremely embarrassed

they're describing your exact appearance (like if you have brown hair, none of that brunette shit, they're saying "they have #5C4033 hair")

they describe your first meeting and first date in way too specific detail and the middle-aged lady next to them in the waiting room is just like "uh huh yeah if this mf dont stop talking they're gonna be in the emergency room AAGGAAAIN"

"SLOAN SHUT UP"

your partner takes a GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOU

like 30 seconds of just gaping, you really can see their chipped tooth in its full glory

"sloan, we're going home"

they gulp and stare up at you like their big wet eyes

"i can't go home with you"

"why not"

"my partner will get jealous"

"."

"by the way, my partner has the prettiest smile. i miss them" they're looking so sad as they said that, like you fucking died

YOU'RE RIGHT THERE

"sloan.."

"whoa.. how'd you know my name?"

"i AM your partner"

they blink

it's like they're seeing you for the first time again

their eyes are sparkling and they look like they're falling in love all over again

they give you a crooked smile, kind of slumping back in their seat cause you took their breath away, cheeks hotter than before

"hey there!"

you're exhausted from worrying over them and their tooth but they're looking at you like you're the most radiant being in the world- no- the universe

"oh dios mio.. see i was tryna be loyal but you came in looking really pretty and i thought (for only a second i promise, like, one second!) about cheating.. thank goodness we're together tho"

what

your heart does a few flips in your chest

suddenly you're kinda pissed that they had to get injured in their mouth because you want to sloppily make out with this rock munching idiot

the car ride home is almost abysmal

they're belting out stupid songs, randomly screaming deez nuts jokes even when you don't fall for them then cackling at themselves because it's funny to THEM, mumbling things in spanish you don't understand (you swear you hear a "te amo" in there)

it's stressful as HELL for you because you have to constantly check that their seatbelt is still on because they're excitedly looking out the window like a dog with its tongue out

they're also randomly shouting and pointing out shit outside like they're playing road trip bingo

you're thankful when they quiet down eventually until you hear

"Can we get married? I proooomise I'll take care of you.." They sniffle. "I've got the moneeeyy.. 'n I really think you were made f'me.. I jus' wan' t'be t'gether forever... I loooove youuuu..."

you nearly crash the car

JESUS SLOAN

you tend to them at home and it seems like all their object permanence has vanished

gone from this world

because whenever you leave the room to get them water that THEY REQUESTED, they start crying

"AMOR, WHERE DID YOU GO"

they regain their senses the next day and you realize

it's not REALLY that different

they're still a goober

though with less (full) teeth than before

but they're your goober :)

still, using that little marriage speech against them has them flustered because they've really been thinking about it, it wasn't just a whim from their anesthetic-fueled delirium

[chiquititaosita]

Maki Zenin x Latina fem reader 🫶🏼🌶️👹

¡! ❞ synopsis: maki x latina reader varying headcanons, with slight mentions of nsfw descriptions, and suggestive writing

osita note: yall im making more soon asap, writing is back in the groove more gay shit coming soon! hope y’all love it @kenruu @sanjisblackasswife @yourrfavzxri @chrollohearttags @chocolatetheoristcloud @sanjis-all-blue @euphofic @roronoaswifey @cookiepie111 @sierae @hqkalon

maki being the girlfriend to write you notes on a sticky note in places you’ll be looking for stuff. “have a good day at work! fuck that bitch (coworkers name).”

Maki who spoils you by buying you food, and even cooking sometimes. She comes to terms with accepting the use of vicks vaporub and newspaper cones.

Maki Zenin being the girlfriend that literally checks you out unintentionally, and her sister calls her out.

“You’re checking her out aren’t you?”

“So she’s not your type.” “but that’s my girlfriend.”

“Hey she’s mine back off!” she gets jealous so fucking easily, and is kinda tóxica but we stan it.

You yelling at Maki and slapping her hand with a wooden spoon with a small hit. Then itadori with a PAM! because they attempted to eat your cooking that’s still raw and needs to be cooked thoroughly.

“Wash y’all’s damn hands!!” You’ll be yelling that in Spanish and putting your hands on your hips.

I mean if you you yell at Maki or anyone in español She’s gonna get her pushy wet, call it Niagara Falls up in this bitch.

“AYO THOSE ARE MY TITTIES!!” she’s gonna cover you up if you have a nip slip or a fashion mishap. Or get nobara to help you. She don’t mess with taken women, nobara goes after married men PURR

here y/n is just being fussy; and crying if she gets hurt, “who did this to you!?…” at first in her head she’ll be like oh shit.

“What happened…?” bitch will fight the whole jujitsu society and even risk her life as a sorcerer for you. BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU SO DEARLY INTO HER HEART.

ms girl loves your cooking and your body with stretch marks and freckles. “And I thought you were my breakfast.”

FaceTimes you when you’re on break, ALWAYS COMES HOME TO YOUR COOKING AND CLEANING. Because she’s never been taken care off because her dads a bitch. she starts showing affection to you slowly.

“i know you’re homesick, so i brought you pan dulce from the panadería.”

“you want me to help you with anything?” she really doesn’t know how to ask you for help, but instead she takes over the whole task on doing it.

“you need to be careful, okay?” overprotective 11/10

cuddles are necessary with her always

she’s always gotta be touching you on your thighs your ass or your titties, even the small of your back

“My girlfriends coming! And she’s gonna kick your ass!” The minute she feels somethings not right! 🏎️ nyooom!! She’s gonna use her cursed objects to find you AND KILL THEM MFS

Maki to the rescue. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She’s gonna kill these bitches with no mercy. Maki has already lost her mother and she can’t risk the chances of losing you.

She calls you mama, princess, baby, y/n love, love, love bug, sunshine.

Actually is learning Spanish for you. Even though it’s easy to understand by how you’re yelling at someone she’s just encouraging you with her hands up having a smirk on her face. “that’s my girl.”

especially for her voice being low and sounding like honey, when she calls you baby. she’s obsessed at how y’all dance together. Mai approves of you 9/10! only because maki didn’t tell her about you sooner.

if your cousins ask maki why her hair looks like mocos, she’ll just just not care. and whisper something super sinister in your cousins ears that’ll leave them terrified, and go back to eating.

kisses with maki are sweet and slow, even passionate at times, of course when it comes to pda she’ll show you off, but when y’all are alone and in private she’s mostly affectionate, and at her most vulnerable state

when you teach her how to flip a tortilla she instantly burns her finger, because the comal was hot. “fuck!” that leaves you to helping her with it. but you or maki wouldn’t change a thing

[kavalyera]

How well would you do if you were Marquis?

warning: angry evren, me cussing the SHIT out of marquis de gramont, copious amounts of uppercase screaming, so much aggression lmao

First of all, I would be SMARTER alright than this bitch

YEAH. THIS VINCENT MOTHERFUCKER. IS A STUPID LITTLE FUCKING CUNT. “Caine is everything John is not🥺🥺” SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCHHHHHHH OH MY GOD BRO YOU ARE LITERALLY ASSIGNED AUTEM IMPERATOR AND YOURE FUCKING STUPID?????????? CAINE IS STILL BLIND YOU MOTHERFUCKER😭

First off, I would instead burn down the fucking New York Continental with everyone inside. Is it a crime? Obviously. But he blew it the fuck up anyways so really what’s the wrong part in it??? THAT SAVES ME FROM HAVING WINSTON TAKE JOHN TO THE RIGHT PLACES. BECAUSE HE IS DEAD ASF.

NEXT THING: I wouldn’t even raid the osaka continental. nah. JUST KIDDING I FUCKING WOULD LMAOOO. GET THESE HIGH TABLE FORCES IN THERE. AND I DONT WANNA SEE NONE OF THESE WACK ASS SAMURAI RIPOFF UNIFORM OR THESE GREY SUITS.

LIKE CHIDI BABES YOU SERVED THE FUCK OUT OF THESE GREY SUITS BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY. THAT YOU ARE. RAIDING A WHOLE ASS HOTEL. IN FUCKING SUITS.

YES THEYRE BULLETPROOF I DO NOT CARE. MYRMIDONS BETTER PUT ON THOSE HIGH TABLE SPECIAL FORCES UNIFORM. “They dont have the funds-“ DONT CAREEEEEE I HAVE INFINITE WEALTH BACKED BY THE TABLE THEY WILL FIND A FUCKING WAY TO PUT CHIDI THE MYRMIDONS INTO THESE DAMN OUTFITS

anyways so next thing i would pick CHIDI as the mf to fight for me. cause caine is BLIND. im sorry to break it to people but that mf missed like several shots😭 cause he is BLIND

+ chidi is a fucking tank. he took so MUCH fucking hits and the mf kept standing up + he’s built so differently like this bro had a whole fucking ARROW inches deep into his motherfucking arm and he thugged it the SHIT out. he CONTINUED FIGHTING WITHOUT MEDICAL ATTENTION

anyways im gonna put the duel in a cathedral or a castle so if i do die it’s gonna be giving vampire that just got her heart ripped apart ong

ALSO IM PULLING UP TO THAT DUEL IN ONE OF THESE BABY

and so that if i DO die the mortuary doesn’t have to strip my cold naked ass and just pop me in the casket with all my beautiful family members at my funeral and hopefully one of them gets inspired to do the same and like. idk. change the trajectory of history?💀

“what if the table tells you to pipe tf down you psycho bitch?” good question!

No

next course of my plan is that i send every mf in europe on his john’s ass (omg marianne from tkg era) like im gonna put his bounty up like wayyy before that duel alr. in fact. im specifically making sure that bounty STAYS high as hell to the point it lowkey looks like im putting the high table economy in shambles(french nobility core) so that tracker has like more will to hunt him? if that makes sense lmao.

if i win the duel i of course marry chidi celebrate by going to jollibee expand my influence under the table greatly :D

If I die well. at least i served evil bitch cunt so

and ofc like marquis im gonna serve face while doing all these more atrocious shit ♡︎

[juliandevorakswife]

2/?

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

8. I wish to romance the Hanged man and Devil Lucio idgaf Lucio is so damn hot and the hanged man is just another Julian

9. ohhh here comes THE TEAAAAA so yall know i love asra to DEATh we are also soulmates, but omfg he’s such a little shit!! Like bro how dare you cheat on me in MY OWN DAMN HOUSE WHILE IM DEAD WHERE TF IS THE RESPECT?!?! That’s why for me I canon the reverse the ending as being the true ending because I don’t want other to even be friends with Asra like it’s only me him Faust, once his parents learn how to enter our lil realm then they can stay BUT NO MORE!!! (Idk where I was going with this) but he’s a little shit head a person who doesn’t deserve my love and deserves to fucking suffer for everything he has done and lied about and cheated, but I fuck with that toxic shit so he’s my hubby😊😊😊😊😊 and fuck him for “moving on” bitch please after everything that’s happen ain’t no one believes you moved on dawg like stop LYING!!!!!! YOU LIKE MURIEL AS UR FRIEND AND MF YOU HATE JULIAN LIKE WHAT?!?!? Like no wonder people fucking hate asra, but yessss me and asra are married n stuff and in my rps that I do with Jazzy me and asra have 14 kids 😊😊😊💜💖💖💖He’s a sweetheart like he gave me his half heart, like boyyyyyy stoppppp you make me blush😊😊😊💖💖💖💖💖💖 point is, I love Asra and I will forever love him 💖

10. And here we go with my opinion on Julian! So I think he a very lovable guy!! Like yes he pisses me tf off in Asra’s route but I love him like actually he’s the only character that makes me nervous like dude stop being so charming🥰🥰🥰🥰 the another time I got pissed at him is when he was asking about if Asra mentioned him like bitch please he doesn’t give af about you 😒 anyways it’s funny how at the beginning I assumed he was gonna be a rude ass guy but he actually turned out to be a lil sweetheart! His mannerisms is what gets to me, to his weird laughing to his stuttering when he’s nervous or the lil murmurs that he makes! AHHH and it’s so cute how he has a lil notebook in his huge coat too!!! He’s a lil ball of cuteness and nobody can make me hate him💖💖

[boxwinebaddie]

alright be gentle ( ironic because this whole hc is violent asf ) because i'm still sad girl nina, but to cheer myself up i was looking at this piece of kyley b fanart and i Know that i said jersey wasn't a jewelry boy BUT! that is present, put together, dark academia college student jersey...i think that high school head crackin' gangbangin' delinquent kyley-b era jersey actually WORE TONS OF JEWLERY.

and i'm not talking dainty stuff, i'm talkin' really big thick gold chains, brass knuckles, big, fake gold rings with colored gem stones in them,

-- but Not as a fashion statement.

more like...a Threat.

and a PROMISE.

because legend says none of that #bling actually belonged to him and that each piece was specifically lifted and looted from the prone, facedown, bruised battered body of a different low-life bafoon...

That He Beat

BLOODY.

talk shit, get hit, misbehave and you're pavement, this isn't hoboken, so take your broke ass home before it ends up in a body bag.

( bars! As In Jail! as in go to PRISON, girl! )

tldr; fuck the police, no laws on the street, but when kyley b's on the beat, justice is always served: iced out...

and Ice Cold, Bitch. xx <3

this post-fight ritual, which i think kyleyb used to call 'debt collecting' his southside jersey way of showing street cred, a way of generating culture of fear and respect, sort of like how warriors used to collect their enemies heads and mount them on their walls except jers had his spoils over war frosted all over his neck and hands, as if to say,

oh? that guy that used to run shit? that guy whose boots you were lickin? that guy you were mad scared of? well, he's My bitch now. <3 asked me to marry him and everythin', ain't he cute? gave me his big dumb ugly ring and everything. sigh. unfortunately; i'm spoken for. and him? well...let's just say, he's gonna have a hard time saying anythin' with his jaw wired SHUT. so from now on, shithead, i tell you to jump, you ask how high and if it amuses me, i might not break ya legs. because this is My Circus, sweetheart. so you can kiss my ass...

or your can Kiss The Ring. ;)

K.O.

so basically, instead of waving heads on sticks, he was wearing the rings and gangster jewelry of all the biggest, toughest dirt bag, jabroni, low-life mobster street rats in new jersey on his fingers. <3

edit: the rest of the hc was trash but please note that The Kyley B Origin Story is that asshole nj juicehead and his friends jumped jersey in an alleyway on his way home from school and stole the Star of David necklace that zayde and bubbe for him for his bar mitzvah, so he traded his polo and khakis in for a white tank top and baggy jeans, tracked the guy down, beat the living shit out of him, got his necklace back, but as a souvenir…

he took this huge, heavy letter B ring off his finger.

and from that day forward, kyle broflovski…

became Kyley. Motherfuckin’. B.

( but really just kyley bc the the b stands for bitches

AND THEM BITCHES ARE DEEEEAD. MF. SILENT! )

but anyway…The Gold B Ring…is The KB Signature Ring.

and speaking of signatures, j.k’s was ramming the cutting the sharp ass metal of the giant B ring into the cheek of his foes and BRANDING THEM as a display of dominance and/or using the blood oozing from his enemies like a fuckin water color paint and stamping a sick scarlet B into ur clothes as a Warning.

( jersey im scared, but pls one chance )

p.s. he wore the b ring on his middle finger btw

the ring finger…Is Reserved For Stan. ( he’s married )

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 175. brb x oc

a/n: im posting early cause my connection is oscillating like a mf and i can't risk it! Also, no rooster...and well,I'm gonna try something new next chapter so wish me luck??? (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!! they make my nights they really do<3)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: slight angst???

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

116/117/118/119/120/121/122/123/124/125/126/127/128/129/130/131/132/133/134/135/136/137/138/139/140/141/142/143/144/145/146/147

/148/149/150/151/152/153/154/155/156/157/158/159/160/161/162/163/164/165/166/167/168/169/170/171/172/173/174

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

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-

Beatrice was having fun, honestly knowing she wouldn’t be able to work for a few months this was more than welcome.

She was also enjoying the snacks, what were they? She brings one close to her eyes while she chews the very same thing, Nicole looking up at her in question, “...I think…this has pepperoni, hmmm,it’s so good.” she is sitting in the shade, right next to Evelyn’s seat but she’s busy talking to her relatives right now.

Nicole tries to reach for her mother’s hand, trying to snag a bite “Okay, here,” she shoves her finger inside before pulling out a piece of cheese, small enough for Nicole to chew on it. She’s careful while doing so, but Nicole has proven she’s a Schiavoni because she adores cheese, ���Nice,right? Hold on,Shells- oh.” the blonde comes back with a cheese platter, holding it up to Beatrice’s face “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” and she shoves another snack into her mouth, ‘Hm, this is so good. Evelyn is great with party foods.” she sits down next to Beatrice and Nicole, flicking her eyes when she sees the phone resting on Beatrice’s thigh, “You talked to Rooster?’

“I sent him a message, since we know that Ev will have a boy,I thought he’d like to know about that.” she smiles, “And because Hangman wouldn’t shut up about it, so.”

“Of course.” Shells mutters as she chews “Fuckin’ weird.”

“What?”

The blonde shrugs while crossing her legs by the knee, “I don’t know, you two are with kids, married - well, Ev will get married when Jake comes back,I think…and I don’t know, it feels like a lot more time passed than just four years.” she chuckles, “I mean, the second you and Rooster met, it was like this whole spiral of new shit came along too, not that I’m complaining,after all I got Bob. But…you know, it started with the two of you.”

Beatrice smiles, nodding in agreement. "You're right, it does feel like a lot has happened in such a short amount of time. Meeting Rooster definitely brought a whirlwind of change into my life, and I never expected to end up where I am now. But I wouldn't trade it for anything."

She takes a moment to reflect on their journey, her eyes softening with fondness. "From that first encounter in the bar…everything just fell into place. It was meant to be." Shels clears her throat quiet loudly, arching her brows so the brunette continues, “...and yes, you helped, a lot.”

“Thank you.I sure did. Because if I didn’t make you move, you’d both die pining one another.” she shakes her head as she leans back on her seat, “And hey, I just gave the first push, you did everything else and hooked him in.”

Beatrice  rolled her eyes but she was grateful for Shells' bluntness. "You did give us that push, and I'll always be thankful for that.” ‘you are welcome’ Shells says, dipping her head forward “Sometimes, all it takes is a little nudge to set things in motion."

Nicole, who has been quietly snacking on another piece of cheese, looks up at Shells and Beatrice with an innocent expression. "Mama dada?” she questions as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, making Beatrice smile and kiss her temple.

“Yes,mama and dada.”

“That kid is going to be a menace when she’s older.”

“Hey,’ Bea narrows her eyes playfully, “It’s my daughter, excuse me?”

“She’s already talking, she's going to learn how to get your car keys at eleven. Just you wait.”

Beatrice blinked, staring at Shells as the party continued around them, “...did you steal a car at eleven?” Shells doesn’t reply, but she does drink her non-alcoholic punch while looking away. Honestly there were things in Shells’ life that Beatrice decides it’d be better to wonder than to think about. As she was about to question her again, she saw Evelyn approaching with a glass of water in her hand, “Hey, are you done socializing?”

“For now.” she sighs, flopping in the seat that’s between the two women, leaning back and kicking her shoes off, ‘Jesus, I can’t remember who was the last person I talked to. And they are all family.”

 "Well, it's a big family gathering, Ev. It's hard to keep track of everyone. But hey, at least you got a break from the relatives for a moment. I know how bad it was when they found out about Nikki.”

“Aa!”

Evelyn takes a long sip of her water and lets out a content sigh. "True, true. As much as I love them, it can be a bit overwhelming at times.” she looks over to where her uncle Tom was, currently trying to show her younger cousins - and Jake’s young relatives- how to throw a baseball over the fence, “Mom!Uncle Tom has a baseball!” 

Vivian’s smile drops, “He what-THOMAS! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!”

The three of them just watch as Evelyn’s mother walks over to her brother and yanks it out of his hand, “...where did he get that anyway?” Bea asks quietly, “Did he bring it with him?”

“Most likely.” Evelyn mutters, “His favorite story is how he almost went to the big leagues but he chose to get married instead. Which my aunt say never happened. He is a lawyer through and through. Runs in the family.” she explains, “On my mom’s side at least…anyway are you okay?”

Beatrice looks up from Nicole to meet Evelyn’s brown eyes “Me?” her friend nods while still drinking water, “I’m okay! Why are you asking?”

“Because while we are both pregnant you are the one carrying two and a baby.” she smiles down at Nicole who just babbles something in reply, “You need anything? A better chair? Something comfier?”

“Oh,no,no,I’m fine.” Beatrice smiles, “Honestly I’m okay. This party is really helping me get my mind at ease, Rooster’s deployment has been a bit hard lately but…you know,” she plays with Nicole’s hand for a few seconds as her daughter enjoys her tiny piece of cheese before she looks ahead, ‘It’s manageable. I just want him to come back safe and it’s been only a few weeks apart?” she didn’t want to explain how anxious she was feeling even before the deployment, they didn’t need to worry about her like that.

Evelyn reaches out and places a comforting hand on Beatrice's arm, patting it twice. "I understand, Bea. Deployments are always tough,and honestly I’ve been feeling kinda iffy about Jake too." she mutters, ‘Mainly because he’s not here to know that the baby pumpkin will be a boy…well, as long as they decide to be, but I wish he was here.”

“How have you been handling it?”

Evelyn’s laugh is dry and a bit humorless, “Well…you know, this really helped. I was angry about changing the dates but I think it was better if I did this.” she smiles at a few family members, especially from Jake’s side, before letting her smile drop, “I do think we’ve been going good. Even my dad is helping.” she waves at her father, who smiles and waves back, before turning his attention to his brothers-in-law, “I know he’s been trying to…be more present. He’s going to be a grandpa now…speaking of which, how did your family react when you told them about the twins?”

“Yeah!” Shells says, “You never told us!”

Beatrice inhales softly, her mouth parting as she’s violently reminded of that day. She wanted to wait until her father was out of the hospital, and her siblings were all at home with them…she did fear making her father feel worse but it wasn’t that bad.

Well…

“...my mom fainted.” she mutters, ‘Um…Sabrina fainted,Leonardo fainted.” she frowns a bit, chewing her lower lip “But e-everyone else took really nicely and um, once my mom recovered she cried. A lot. A whole lot, oh wow she cried even more than in my wedding! Hah…um…” she does think it was a lot more dramatic than what she was telling her friends, but she was too traumatized to say it outloud.

Evelyn's eyes widen in surprise as Beatrice recounts her family's reaction. "Wow, that sounds intense. I mean, I knew having twins would be a big deal, but fainting and crying? That's... quite the response."

Shells leans forward, her curiosity piqued. "What about your dad? How did he take the news?"

Beatrice's expression softens as she thinks about her father's reaction. "Well, my dad wasn’t in the hospital at the time, which made it a lot easier. When I told him about the twins, his eyes filled with tears, and he just hugged me tightly. He kept saying how happy he was. It was such a beautiful moment… and my mom cried again. She cried um…a lot."

Evelyn smiles warmly, holding her head up with a hand and propping her elbow on her knee. "I met your mom, she's just really emotional when it comes to these things. And I’m glad your dad was happy too…and your siblings?"

“Oh they are all the same. Except Michael,I think he knew from the spot.” she shrugged, leaning back on her seat and holding Nicole on her chest, being mindful of her growing bump, “It was…nice? They are checking on me too,and I forgot to tell Roos about it damn.”

“Dam!”

“W-no! Nikki that’s a bad word!” Beatrice’s panicked stare was only broken when her daughter covered her mouth to giggle, “Oh god,I can’t even imagine once she starts repeating Rooster’s words.” she sighs, looking down at her diaper “I need to change her,” she’s already standing up and stares at Evelyn because she has no idea where the bathroom is at her parents’ house, “Ev, can you um–”

“No worries.” her friend stands up with a grunt, squinting her eyes while setting her empty glass aside, “Follow me.”

Evelyn leads the way, guiding Beatrice through the bustling party towards the bathroom. It does take a while to get there since some of the party goers now paid attention to Beatrice and Nicole. Nikki, of course, loved the attention and just cooed and gurgled at everyone who smiled at her. Luckily it doesn’t take long for them to leave the commotion, with  Beatrice following closely behind, cradling Nicole in her arms and grateful for Evelyn's assistance.

As they walk, Evelyn looks over her shoulder and smiles reassuringly at Beatrice. "Does she need anything?"

Beatrice returns the smile, feeling a sense of relief wash over her, shaking her head. "Thank you, Ev.But no, I got everything in here." she lifts the shoulder that holds the bag strap, “I just need a clean space to do it.”

Evelyn reaches the bathroom door and holds it open for Beatrice. "Alright,I might stay here…I kinda need a break for everyone else if that’s okay?"

Beatrice nods understandingly. "Of course, Ev. Take all the time you need.It won’t be a bother."

Evelyn smiles gratefully and steps aside, letting Beatrice enter the bathroom with Nicole in her arms. "Thanks, Bea. I'll be right outside if you need anything. Just give me a shout."

With that, Evelyn closes the door behind Beatrice, leaving her to tend to Nicole in privacy. Beatrice finds a clean, spacious area to lay down a changing mat and gently places Nicole on it. She takes a moment to take a deep breath, appreciating the quietness of the bathroom compared to the lively party outside. Not that she’s complaining, I mean, she could handle her own family, but with her mind going so fast it was better to focus.

As she carefully removes Nicole's diaper and begins the process of changing her, Beatrice reflects on the events of the day. It's been a good day so far, she talked to Rooster and now she’s enjoying a party! It could be much worse.

Nicole babbles happily, seemingly unaware of the commotion happening beyond the bathroom door. Beatrice smiles at her daughter, taking her time, ensuring that Nicole is clean and comfortable before carefully securing a fresh diaper in place. Nicole babbles some more, kicking her little legs so much Beatrice has to hold one of them, “Nikki, just let me fix your skirt at least.”

Rebellion.

Nicole just moved her legs even more,giggling and loving how her mother’s face went from calm to exasperatedly amused until she couldn’t help but laugh, “You, are terrible.” and she tickles the baby’s tummy, “You are just like your father. You two have a way to making me laugh and forget every bad thing that goes on in my brain.” she whispers, knowing Evelyn was right outside.

Beatrice’s smile drops and she sighs, the anxiety was still there, gnawing at her spine, whispering things she didn’t want to hear nor think about. “It’s fine. It’s all fine.” she whispers, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw, quickly meeting her reflection and smiling - the best she could- “It’s all good. I talked to him today so it’s fine…anyway.”

Beatrice scoops Nicole up into her arms, cradling her close, burying her nose in her daughter’s hair and closing her eyes again, “It’s fine.” she bounces on the spot a bit, trying to get rid of the nerves, “God,it’s fine. Why am I like this?”. She pulls back and takes a moment to admire her daughter's tiny features, feeling a surge of love and protectiveness wash over her. "You're such a precious little girl, Nicole.” her daughter blinks up at her, “Yes you are.” she feels the sting of tears but holds it back the best way that she can.

As Beatrice holds Nicole in her arms, she finds solace in the unconditional love that emanates from her daughter. Nicole's innocent gaze and infectious smile bring a sense of joy and peace to Beatrice's heart, even in moments of doubt and anxiety. 

Like right now.

Gently swaying back and forth, Beatrice takes a deep breath, willing herself to find calm amidst the storm of emotions. She reminds herself that she has a support system in place, both with Rooster and her friends like Evelyn and Shells, who are there for her during this challenging time. “Oh boy, okay.” she turns on her heel to walk out of the bathroom, once she feels she’s okay enough and meets Evelyn there.

Her friend was leaning against the wall, this time with her arms crossed and eyes distant, “Um,Ev?” she snaps the tall woman out of her thoughts because she physically jumped, “Sorry,I uh,we’re finished.”

Evelyn blinks, momentarily caught off guard by Beatrice's voice. She quickly regains her composure and pushes herself away from the wall, offering Beatrice a warm smile. "Oh, sorry about that. Lost in my thoughts for a moment. How's everything with Nicole?"

Beatrice returns the smile, her own expression a bit confused. "She's doing great. Just a little rebel, this one." She holds Nicole up for Evelyn to see, who immediately breaks into a grin while kicking her small legs, “Look at that.”.

"She takes after her parents, I see," Evelyn chuckles. "Well, I'm glad everything went smoothly. Are you feeling alright?"

Beatrice nods, her voice steady but her eyes are still on Nicole and she takes the time to adjust the bag strap on her shoulder "Anxiety acting up, nothing more."

“...can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Evelyn chews the inside of her cheek, going back to crossing her arms, “...how do you feel about this deployment?” she questions quietly, “I want to ask Shells but you know how she’ll be,” and she makes a movement with her hand, something akin to ‘what the hell’ and rolling her eyes, “She won’t give me a straight answer…but you will. I am anxious as well,Bea…and I’ve handled deployment a lot.” she flicks her gaze to Cyclone’s picture on the wall, the crisp white uniform appearing even brighter under the light, “But this one…I don’t know, something feels off.”

And Beatrice hated it because it feels like it.

“Listen,ugh,’ Evelyn rubbed the bridge of her nose, “Sorry, sorry,I don’t want to add to it. I’m just…I don’t have anyone to share my worries with. My mom…she’s more used to it than I am but–” and Evelyn goes back to leaning on the wall, this time Beatrice joins her, with Nicole still babbling happily with her head on Bea’s shoulder, “...feels off doesn’t it?”

She didn’t want to admit it, “...it does.”

“They’ll be okay.”

“I know. They will.”

‘Then why,” Evelyn begins, throwing her hands up, “Why are we nervous like this?”

“Well,I don’t know about you but my anxiety never really left…I think it’s worse because of the pregnancy.” she suggests, clearly not knowing it either, “But…we are still talking to them, you know? And…and knowing more about what’s been going on, within the rules of course, so…maybe it’s the hormones.”

“...makes sense.”

“Yeah! They are good at what they do.” Was she really comforting Evelyn and not vice-versa? Is this an alternative universe??? “And I know they’ll be okay…especially now.” she inhales softly, then shakes her head, “Anyway, let’s go back to the party, yeah?I’m sure your family is worried sick about you now.” she places a hand on Evelyn’s shoulder, this time leading her back instead. “I think we’ll both need this more than we know”

She does wait for Evelyn to walk out first, taking a few minutes to breathe and close her eyes, only opening when she feels good enough. She knows they’ll be alright, but she doesn’t really mind when she pulls out her phone to write him a message.

I love you. I know you’ll do good. Stay safe Roos.

[cwcthzl]

i am assigned you homework to watch when harry met sally

deb

okay so when i saw this i decided i was gonna watch it and keep a record of all of my thoughts during the film and share it with you, so here you go (it's a lot, i warn you)

i can't believe i have harry's exact haircut oh my fucking god

GET THIS MAN'S BAKERY OUT OF MY FACE

why does he casually have grapes w him

god how i envied those cheerful ppl who dotted their 'i's with little hearts

"look, when the shit comes down, i'm gonna be prepared and you're not. that's all i'm saying." / "in the meantime you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it."

sally's hair flow is actually gorgeous no wonder why she puts that much hairspray on

their fits are so 🤩🤩

i like how everytime sally declines to say more when harry asks, harry goes with 'fine, don't tell me' and moves on with whatever is in front of him instead of giving sally the reaction she very much expects (aka pleading for more info) and sally just gives in because she WANTS to share even tho she says she doesn't/can't

TF IS THAT ORDER. WHEN DID ORDERING PIE BECOME THIS COMPLICATED

sheldon the wonder schlong😭😭💀

"but if you MUST know" gurl just spit it out

"they don't make sunday." / "why not?" / because of god." IM WHEEZING

he is so sassy with the 'so?'s oh my god

he is so me

i like the song choice here because i think it really reflects sally and harry's interaction perfectly. "you say ee-ther, i say either." / "you like potato, and i like pot-ahto."

why does he have a baseball bat

why do blonde men look bald

"i never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice" SALLY YOU COOKED HIM GIRL

"it's amazing. you look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death."

i LOVE harry's mindset he is so me i'm gonna kill myself this guy is an ass

HOW MANY TIMES DID THIS MF MARRY

i was waiting for harry to get divorced tbh he had that divorced dad kinda vibe to him im glad he aced his journey ❤️

standing up to join the wave after telling your friend your wife told you she doesn't know if she's ever loved you is INSANE

"oh really? well that symptom is fucking my wife." funniest line delivery in history

marie i love you bby we're gonna get through this together even tho you're dumb asf

why is this bitch pulling a joe goldberg rn

it's the way sally is taller than harry for me

this couple pissed me off so much GOD STOP TALKING OVER EACH OTHER FOR A FUCKING SEC

YESSSS DIVORCED BITCH APARTMENT THAT HAS NO SURROUNDINGS OTHER THAN A COUCH YESSSS

is harry reading stephen king or are my eyes deceiving me

it's that ugly ass back cover that got my attention. i thrifted doctor sleep and only realized stephen king was on the back cover when mom pointed it out by saying that guy probably looked at his own face for horrors. not cool mum

"i miss the idea of him."

THEY ARE SO ON THE OTHER SIDES OF THE COIN I CANT

he is so weird why does he remember all the things she ordered with such hyperspecific steps. why is he like that. why is he me

"big jerk." / "little creep." LMAOOOOOOOOOO

UGH WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS. DANCINGCHEEK TO CHEEK??????? OH MY GODDDDDD

SUCH A SWEET NEW YEARS KISS 😭😭😭

marie i'm gonna kick your ass

MARIE AND JESS??????? THEY ARE SO CUTE

their fight 😭😭😭 their hug😭😭😭😭 i hate this bitches😭😭😭

NOW THEY HAVE BEEF WITH EACH OTEHR'S PARTNERS????? LMAO

"he is a good guy, you should talk to him!" / "he is too tall to talk to." what if i did a flip

he is still reading the end of the books first

he is so soft and gentle with her i'm gonna cry. not a single jab, a single sarcastic comment. just attentively listening and comforting - reassuring her and petting her hair as sally ugly cries . oh my god they are so 😭😭

sally is so pretty even when she cries tf

laughing to crying pipeline is so real sally i get you bby

i love their little kissies it's so insanely pure to me. like a kiss you would get when you are in elementary when you thought this was the ultimate form of love. so innocent and for what

okay well now this is not very just a peck

okay this is escalating

OKAY THIS QUICKLY ESCALATED

why is harry looking at the ceiling like its the ceiling's fault like damn 😭😭

i love sally's curls so much

why every way they approach this it gets even weirder like i am thinking if they fuck all of this would be resolved and they did and it sucked and now i am thinking they should just go back to being friends and they are doing it but it never seems fucking right???????

what are those skinny ass leggings are they fruitcakes

THE SLAP

HE SINGS TO HER OVER THE FUCKING PHONE FOR HER TO PICK UP😭😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

this tall bitch again

no this is another bitch

bro he is so me what the fuck i'm gonna kill myself

FRANK SINATRA???? WDYM IT HAD TO BE YOU?????

"how about you love me too?"

THE DETAILS????? IM DEYING

"i came here because when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!" 10 things i hate about you reference? perchance?

SMILING INTO THE KISSSSSSS IM DECEASING

yeah def have chocolate sauce on the side

but after all, i really enjoyed this film. like, throughly. i would be fine even if they didn't end up together because their friendship was just that good and reminded me of me and a friend of mine, and it really touched some subjects i really liked. also i added another mf to my kinlist, so thanks????? ig????? they are very cute and i Loved this film debs you are a saint

[sillystardew]

I haven't seen this before but I thought it was a cute idea, so if you like it i'd love to see it written

My prompt is the farmer being good with kids and genuinely enjoys spending time with Jas, so they agree to keep an eye on her when Shane is out of town for therapy or something (and for sone reason Marnie can't).

Cue Shane coming back and seeing Jas curled up on top of the farmer, both of them asleep on the couch after watching a movie or in a blanket fort or something, and Shane instantly having a "Fuck, I love them" moment.

The scenario could take place while they're dating, already married, or while they're still friends and this is the moment he realizes he's in love with them, i'll leave that up to you.

I'm usually an angsty mf living for the pain but tbh I just want Shane to be happy lol

Thank you!!

AGHH yes i love this prompt!! I think i saw it once or twice over on Ao3, its such a cute one!!

Gender neutral reader 🦇

-Shane spends a lot more time with Jas than he did before he started going sober, which now includes picking her up from school and hanging out with her on the weekends and during festivals

-He wants to make sure this kid has a good life. She had a rough start, and he doesn’t want to be another reason for her to feel miserable.

-so, when the day comes that Marnie’s busy and he can’t take care of her, he’s a little stumped.

-normally he would have left her with Vincents mom, but he knows she’s busy today, so who else can help take care of her?

-Well.. the farmer’s not too busy today, right? Maybe she can hang out on the farm? After all, she always talks about all the pretty plants the farmer is growing.

-He asks her, and Jas is ECSTATIC. Jas was super shy when she first met the farmer, but now she loves talking about all the fun things they do and how she wishes she could hang out with them. And now she CAN?!

-She’s hopping and skipping the whoooole way there.

-He knows you wouldn’t do anything stupid with a kid around, so he trusts you to watch her while he heads into the city for his therapist appointment.

-He decides he’s probably going to pick something up in the city to bring back for you two, like food or a game

-anyway! You and Jas are gonna have so much fun :))) I imagine she probably likes to make jewelry (kandi-style or rainbow loom!) so you guys can just hang out at the house and make cute little crafts

-She really likes movies, so you also watch a few of those. You aren’t really sure how long Shane will be gone, so you pick out quite a few

-You two eventually fall asleep on the ground in front of the tv, surrounded by blankets, pillows, and any other soft thing you could find. Your pet is curled up right alongside you two in a big cuddle pile :)

-When Shane gets back and nobody answers the door, he guesses you probably took her out to explore somewhere. He knows you keep the door unlocked though, so he walks in to set down the things he bought, and-

-Oh. My. God.

-He thinks he can feel his pupils dilate when he sees you two passed out on the floor in a little puddle of blankets. Is he crying? Are those tears?

-Takes a moment to compose himself - he literally can’t handle how adorable this is. Why is his heart fluttering? What is going on??

-He turns the tv down since it’s still running, and in the process accidentally wakes up Jas, who immediately glomps him.

“Uncle Shane!!”

“Yoba, kid, keep it down!”

-Her jumping around wakes you up, obviously

-He immediately starts thanking you and apologizing for taking so long

-You’re like, half asleep. You dont process any of it

-after you wave them off and they start heading home (with Jas rambling the whole way about what you two did) he kind of just feels a dawning “oh, shit.”

-lets just say he didn’t get the recommended hours of sleep that night

(If anyone wants this turned into a proper fic and not just this bulletin-style type of writing, let me know! Im thinking of starting an Ao3 account for a shane fic I’ve been working on, so I need other things to post on there too ❤️)

[umbral-archives]

I SAW YOUR TATTOO POSF SND IM??? OSIDSKFKDKFKG IM MARRIED TO HIM NOW IT'S CANON I SAID SO

ok but hear me out: he's already canvassed enough as is but what about punk Murdoc. faded hair that's totally not dyed with the blood of his hunts, more piercings than you would think humanly possible, his room looks more like a scene boy's den than a room-

and of course, let's not forget the tattoos. the ✨essentials✨ (aka the ones you gave him) stay because they're his most important ones, but I like to think there's other tattoos. maybe the cheesy little tiny heart tattoo on his cheek, maybe another big one on his thigh, who knows?

hot shit. sexiest beeg deviant. just imagine raiding punk Murdoc's room to steal yet another hoodie and coming across a collection of various blades. think about one of em with reader's name engraved on it. kept in a special black silky-looking box all to itself. think thonk. - 🕳️🪶

This loser-ass bitch's tattoos refuse to settle and I've actually changed them several times, but I've nailed something mildly cohesive down. Big, scarred, stinky deviant mf has to walk a balance, it's not easy being inconspicuous if you look like you just stepped out of a tattoo parlor's wall decorations. I also love the idea of reader/fawn suggesting tattoos for him, gonna incorporate that into my lore. Fuckin weiner absolutely has a weapon collection, yes. Anything from swords and knives to boar spears and so on. In my personal lore, his grandfather hunted as a hobby and collected weapons, so that's how the loser got his fascination with them. Another piece of personal lore is a meteorite Damascus blade that reader/fawn purchases for him as a sort of... 'peace offering' in a certain part of Crossroads.

[imher84]

Ok I’m new to tumblr y’all but I have to give my opinion on joe and Olivia if this is a made up story it’s not gonna affect joe nothing seems to affect joe like unbothered is so much his tag line BUT this poor girl who gets harassed on the daily isn’t coming back from this like it’s gone to far if it’s not true 1 of her girlies as they go by at every game should have said early on this is not true and helped her be like omg people be crazy making shit up lol and like can’t wait for the season lol 😆 but homegirl has been at this 6 years been put through hell for 3 of them watched most the girlies and bengals ladies get married have babies etc and this MF is creepin Livvy dunne on the gram I don’t give a rats F....- how good looking he is now cuz she was with his baby face ass when he came walking out of Appalachia with messed up teeth and a huge ego YALL C MON nope nope this ain’t right y’all it ain’t right and now he sitting there talking bout don’t wear your ring in public for security reasons don’t confirm our engagement please no pictures WTF YOU THINKS GONNA HAPPEN ALL YOUR LITTLE BITTY TITTY COMITY GONE THINK YOUR GETTING MARRIED AND NOT DM YOU WITH THERE SELFIES nah she’s a better woman than me cuz I’d have done broke his legs idc about no contract that you tryna keep secret so on Tuesday when 1 of your boys gets cut from the roster you don’t wannabe blamed cuz they gotta pay you WHATS THE BIG SECRET if Mahommes can parade Britney around like a prize and give her children to cuz she stuck with him IM SERIOUS YALL LIKE this man haha 😆 this man must be trippin y’all it’s for her safety NO JOE. ITS NOT its so your tall handsome ass can still get side bitches speaking of safety are the bengals gonna get you some safety cuz you been sacked like a million times that’s the only safety you should be worried about nah y’all i gotta get off here cuz this mans making me angry 😠 y’all

[tonydaddingham]

✨ episode 5 - running commentary✨

- this episode better be the one to Alter My Brain Chemistry, I NEED AN explanation for the too fast for me scene pls

- THEY BETTER KISS I S2G

- right okay hi shax I hate you 😘 but Miranda is killing WAIT TEN THOUSAND WHAT THATA OVERKILL ITS ONE SILLY BILLY ANGEL AND A DUMB ASS DEMON

- "can I watch" crowley TONE IT DOWN KINKY BOY

- "there will be sandwiches" LOL IM IN BABES

- DOCTOR WHO lmao harpischord guy get fucking SERVED

- HES JUST TEMPTED SOMEONE AND GIVEN AWAY A BOOK??? my guy going through some ROUGH character development

- hell is literally so understaffed wtf

- MAGIC SHOP AGAIN YES

- ERDNASE REFERENCE ERDNASE REFERENCE

- Crowley is so proud of his husband BUT THAT FEZ NEEDS TO GOOOOO

- neil if you ever read this pls can we have aziraphale be a permanent party planner bc he does the mostest and pls ignore my criticism of ep1 and 2 I take it all back pls pls more aziraphale planning tf out of shit

- SHAX MOMMY YES💅💅💅 ALSO ERIC MY BELOVED My sweet baby boy

- FRENCH AZIRAPHALE YOU NEED TO STOP crowley is FED UP he looks like a kid whose mum got caught chatting at the supermarket

- aziraphale pls stop

- NINA KNOWS WHATS UP GAY SPOTS GAY

- no crowley don't make that face no why why why WHY YOU LOOKING LIKE THAT😭😭😭✨ he loves you CROWLEY YOU BLIND FUCKKNG IDIOT and you love HIM you emotionally stunTED APE

- the glasses and sideburns are still BUGGING ME someone explain did he go shOPPING OFF SCREEN????

- ERIC NO BYEBYE MY LOVERRRRR

- wow that was a long pre credit bit wtf

- DATE???? oh no crowley is pulling away no no no

- "SMUT?" fucking OKAY??? DO IT THEN YOU PUSSY ASS BITCH✨💓

- fuck they're about to have a Conversation aren't they and get drunk and it's about to get EMOTIONAL

- Crowley FUCK

- CROWLEY BOO

- "friend" ok lol

- he's about to throw mf HANDS but goob is so innocent NO WAIT CROWLEY NO DOMT DO THAT oh thank fuck

- matchbox ajamakajalam sns

- lmao the growth that Crowley just did in 30 seconds gave me WHIPLASH

- Muriel no pls don't do it bbygirl💓💓 OH GOD YOUVE GONE DONE IT NOW

- ah Jim's mug

- DECORATING MIRACLES YES BABY

- WAIT AND SEE ✨✨✨✨

- oh aziraphale I love u so MUCH 😭😭😭

- Mrs sandwich I LOVE HER no aziraphale don't ask pls bby

- CROWLEY WHAT U SNIFFIN HONEY UR LIKE A BLOODHOUND FOR TROUBLE WHAT A POWER

- GOOB YOU ARE FABULOUS DARLING I LOVE JT✨

- "you young people"

- F BOMB FUCK YES

- oh no Maggie no not you CROWLEY YOU HERO GOD BLESS tell em babes

- lmao are they even gonna get to dance this is so stressful

- Mrs sandwich just chill out honey you are a madam SEX WORK IS VALID REAL WORK I said what I said

- "have a vol au vent" SO MARRIED💓

- omg am i now liking Maggie and nina hmmmmmmm AZIRAPHALE'S FACE crowley you could have that IF YOU EVEN TRIED MY GUY

- I HAVE SUCH JACKET ENVY LMAOOOO goob you are the only valid character

- WHAT no stop goob stop

- fuck OFF THEY ACTUALLY SANCE FUXK KM SWEATINF NOOOOOOK💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOYS PLEASE

- well fuck that's put a spanner in the works

- aziraphale go fucking NAILS GET THEIR ASS oh that's not good✨

- GOOBY NO BE QUIET SHHHHHH

- GOOB NO

- NO GOOB

- the mf coat is SPECTACULAR ✨✨✨✨ did they spend the whole budget on it???? HES SO FABULOUS AND FRUITY

- oh my god the miracle is working against them fuck

- the fact that the humans are just chilling lmaoooo

- NEIL WE NEED CROWLEY AS A LAWYER PLS THANK U they just got SEVRED✨💓

- lmao IT WAS FAKE HAHAHAHAHA

- Mr brown shut up pipe down back in your box

- see that's what you get when you run your mouth

- IS THIS EVERY

- CMON GIVE ME EVERY

- oh my god crowley is the PATRON VIRGIN saint of sex work I LIVE FOR IT god bless or maybe not

- IS THAT A PRAISE KINK I SEE

- "rescuing me makes him so happy" FUCKING DECEASED

- Muriel lmao we know this it's ok bby take HIM TO HEAVEN IN THE ANGEL-ON-THE-ASS TRACKSUIT

- the MUSIC OKAY ITS GOOD NOW YES YES YES✨

- GOING UP

- I'm dead

[professionallydeadinside]

Hi thinking more about if various horror/scary media characters all lived in a neighbourhood/town together and what that would be like

Eddie and Waylon own a tailor shop (or dress shop idk google wouldn’t give me a straight answer on what you’d call a place where outfits are made and altercated) and probably live in a nice ass place above the shop itself along with their daughter Marta (im always pushing this agenda you should know this). Going completely with fanon Eddie who’s nicer and like less like misogynistic 40s but like what those women who say “i wish I lived in the forty’s!” think men in the 40s were like. So more he would knock a guys teeth in for catcalling someone and less he’d beat his wife for spilling milk or speaking out of turn. He also totally lets Marta be goth because 1) that’s his baby girl and she can get away with anything and 2) because he’s a tailor and I think he’d really enjoy learning a new style of dress to make for his daughter because if you think he isn’t hand making his shit in his shop and for his family you are dead wrong no one can make a dress like he can. No one knows what actual gender or sex Waylon is and they’re all far too afraid to ask

Billy and Stu are there and one of them is being raised by Adam and Lawrence from Saw and i dont know which and who the other ones parents would be but i also think that’s how it would be in canon where nobody actually knows who Adam and Lawrence are raising because they’ve known since Billy and Stu met that they’re totally gonna get married so they just treat the other like their son anyway

The most normal ones there are Joel and Ellie who live in a cabin in the woods and literally only count because their game is technically horror scary media

The family from Hill House are the weird eccentric family and everyone knows all their drama. Constant talk of the town

One day this fuckin weird priest and his boyfriend (who apparently killed a girl??) moved in and they’re extremely strange but also seem pretty nice so nobody really knows how to feel about Riley and Father Paul

Resident Evil mfs are there too. I do not know enough about Leon and gang to say what they would be but the Bakers are definitely there and Ethan is an eternally tired dad with a chaotic husband and three daughters (Rose, Evie, and Eva) that Eddie and Waylon love to babysit but must fight with Marguerite and Jack to be able to. Ethan is like a son to Marguerite and Jack, and he’s pretty close with Lucas and Zoe. Sewer Gators are there and all the high schoolers make fun of them because cmon. Clancy joins in because he also thinks the show is dumb and should be mocked.

There’s more but im too fuckin stupid to remember any other scary horror media so like here is the beginning have fun with my half baked ideas

MARTA BEING WAYLON AND EDDIE'S DAUGHTER???? HUGE BRAIN I LOVE THAT FOR THEM WAKJHGFDSFGHJ

Also love that you didn't mention Mia with Ethan so it just sounds like he's a single father with three super powered daughters (as he should be)

[i-will-bite-your-face]

u have more than 2 aus??????

TELL ME TELL ME NOW PLZ I GOTTA KNOW I WANNA HEAR PLZ

WHAT AUS HAVE I TALKED ABT WHAT??? I DON'T REMEMBER HELPPPP.

Anyways SELKIE AU. pretty sure someone else has this but i dont remember (not trying to steal btw sorry if it came off like that)

jesus this is gonna be so long sorry

OK SO BASICALLY selkie au is just me randomly fixating on seals and trying to merge two things i liked together.

Its kinda focused on paupat bc i am WEAK. Heres the rundown

Patryck Hoste (Marine Biologist, his mom was a selkie but didn't pass the gene down, he has sharp(er) teefies tho, also he has to stay near the sea otherwise he gets sick ): 29,

Paul (selkie, bearded seal): 28, . Left eye damaged by a fishing hook. (The most PAUL CREATURE ever btw)

Matt (water nymph?): like 200 but 22 in “human years”

Edd (Selkie/shifter, his dad was a selkie his mom was a walrus person thing i dunno): 21, (the only one who had a semi solid design)

Tom (selkie, ribbon seal): 21. FUCKING LOOK AT THIS CREATURE!!!!!!

Tord(Selkie, harp seal): 20, his colony got attached by poachers (NOT COOL) and his mom was killed very sad :(

shitty quality sorry

was thinking baby tord was taken by the poachers and was eventually handed over to Pats marine place thingy and the biologists talk to him but only as if he was a seal (bc to them he is) and its rlly degrading to him and hes already a bit. fucked up. from the whole poacher thingy and basicly being an "exotic pet" so teehee hes goin inane. But then pat finds out hes a selkie and not Just An Animal. And saves him yippee!!

(an idea for a comic that i Never Got Around To)

Pats walking down a beach and he finds a coat folded on a rock, he's kinda annoyed that someone left their clothes on the beach bc mfs littering is becoming more n more of a problem. He picks it up and as he does he realizes Oh Shit. This is not just a coat. This is a fucking selkie pelt oh shit oh SHIT. as he's freaking out Paul (very nakey btw…) comes up behind him and ALSO starts freaking out bc thats HIS pelt and OH SHIT HES GONNA TAKE MY PELT N IM GONNA HAFTA MARRY HIM OR SMTH OH GODS FUCK SHIT well hes kinda cute.. FUCK SHIT NO and pat turns around to a very nakey paul and their both screaming at eachother and pat throws the pelt at paul who runs to the water n swims away and oh my gods what the fuck just happened. Fast forward a bit n pats takin another walk on the beach and he sees smth laying on the sand still kinda in the water and oh FUCK its a seal all wrapped up n fishing line and its very much cutting in to the poor things skin and the seal is passed out n… shit theres a fishing hook stuck in its (left) eye… Pat quickly pulls out his keys and uses them to cut the fishing line and as hes doing that the seal like semi-wakes up and looks at him and then suddenly theres a fuckin guy on his lap. Its the same selkie from the beach a lil while ago…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

edd matt n tom are their own little colony (harem if you will...haha seal joke) and they live around this old abandoned dock near where pat lives. the 'comic' above has already happened so pau is kinda with them posing as a fisherman to keep the boys out of trouble. (babysit them really) and once pat saves tord they all become a happy family.

the end <3