#IM GOING TO CRRRYYY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

20yearstostart · 6 years ago

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Friday 14th September, 2018

Dear Blank,

Let’s make this a special one. Stuff that happened to me this week:

1. this monday after hanging with dreamy, it was time to go home. we went to the train station, and i started walking down quickly cause my train left in like two minutes. dreamy manages to keep up, and at the bottom of the steps, I wave and say bye. he’s like ‘oh wait’ and holds up his arms to hug me. I hug him, and then my mind flashes back to all the other times we've said goodbye like this, and i move in a for a kiss, and he moves back. by this point i am done, coz he’d been teasing me with almost kisses the whole night, and my train was leaving and i was lowkey pissed and embarrassed. coz he looked at me like i was a bro, a friend, who moved in for the kiss. okay but anyways, i hit his chest and tell him to fuck off, before waving goodbye and rushing to the card machine.

the lady in front of me goes through, and i quickly tag on my card and begin to “run” through to get to the train before it leaves. but omg. it didn’t read my card for some reason, so the gate didn’t open, and i ended up running into it.

okay, but just running into it would’ve been fine, but noo. I didn’t simply just run into it, i crashed into it so hard, that the upper half of my went over the gate, my arms falling in front of me, my hair over my head, and I stay like that for a moment, and i thought: i belong in an anime about an unlucky girl. my second thought was, ‘omg, i hope he didn’t see this, or if he did i hope he just pretends like he doesn’t know me.’ and lastly, but most importantly ‘if i miss my train because of this machine, i will cry and no one will be able to stop me.’

I stand back up with whatever dignity I had remaining and looked over to see one of the staff walking towards me, asking if im okay. I quickly tag my card, this time it works, I turn around flash the man with the orange vest a smile and an okay sign like a loser, and walk/jog holding my boobies and getting onto the train. the train left two minutes later, I rushed for nothing, and omg why do i do this to myself?

but i looked cute that day i think?

2. today, i hung out with dreamy and my girl. it was the first time the three of us hung out outside of uni. i was craving some chicken mcnuggets, so we went to mcdonalds and then the arcade. they got waaaaay more tickets than me, and dreamy kept on beating me in the racing game. but it was fun tho, it was cool. and then my girl had to go home. dreamy and i went to have shaved ice, it was nice- chocolate flavour. and then i was like “wanna go to the wharf?” and he was like “cool.”

it was nice, going to the wharf after it was kinda dark. i’m not normally out for long past dark, i have pre protective parents, so i liked this. the water looked nice, and the lights reflecting of it was nice too. it felt really good having him by my side, his body is so warm and he smells so nice. i’m lucky my fwb is cool, lol, and there’s no chance that he will like me, so that allows me to lean on him more without being scared of complicated feelings.

i also realised that him and i don’t like each other in a romantic way. like no way. yes, when he touches me or looks at me with those stupid puppy eyes my tummy flips, but it’s not in those teenage romance/ crush ways. it’s like those “oh i’m attracted to him” way. i started watching kdramas again, and i realised that’s the kind of love I want or something near it. you know? with the sparks and eyes, and flowers and all that fluffy stuff.

i want a love that consumes me, or whatever damein said to elena.

3. my crush liked me back.

okay, given that i was a hoe in my highschool years, one of the guys that i liked, liked me back. bare in mind that i got to know this fact on monday when he and i were talking. just thinking back to it, he and i could’ve had a great lovestory if the timings were right. :/

4. oh, this other time, i think it was this wednesday. dreamy and i were out on the city streets walking around towards night time, and he looked soo good in that light. like the whole orangey glowy thing, yes beautiful boy. it was like scene from a movie.

oh, blank, i can’t think of anything else, or atleast anything significant. on tuesday, i had stayed home the whole day doing nothing. i have to write another essay, and i’m pretty stoked about it, but i don’t know how to start it. also, i got a result back for one of my tests, an A. that’s a first. I think that’s my highest grade ever in uni. it was a great week, i hope tomorrow and the following tomorrows and just as great.

this video and jaebum. mostly, jaebum makes me want to burn my undies and then wash my unholy body with holy water. i hate it, its so good, ugh.

also their comeback on monday, i am not ready, but i am ready to crrryyy. also they're coming on running man, i was excited about it at first, but now i’m a bit worried. they’re pretty horrible at games lmao.

THE SKY:

tonight i saw the night sky; the deep dark blue covered every inch of the sky. normally im not a fan of night skys, but tonight was beautiful. it had velvety grey blue clouds dotting the deep gradient, and the tall buildings standing in front of it. the golden lights, the high floors, the city lights.

i think the city life is pretty addictive, blank. maybe because i never got the opportunity to live there, every second that i spend there longer than i need to; the harder it is to leave.

I crave the city life. i want to wake up in the middle of the night and open my window and see the tall building lit up and the deep dark blue sky behind it. I think that would be wonderful.

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#my diary #dear diary #dear blank #just like anime #and maybe movies #send help #got7 is amazing #I can't wait omfgffgf #aaahhh

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