#IM FINE DW im feel like im about to get burnt out so I think I just need to step back today 😭😭

[cupiidzbow]

i feel at the verge of short circuiting today im just gonna go sit down and think of my boyfriend i think 😭😭😭😭

[crixaflamma-the-second]

very sorry to everyone whos sent me an ask in the last few days that i havent responded to, ive been feeling really burnt out lately and havent really had the energy to do anything so ya thats why

[st4rgzer]

Can you write a about the reader loving Matt sm but knowing he doesn’t like her back. Liek don’t have a super happy ending but also don’t have a super sad one. Do it inspired by me and …

UNREQUITED (matt sturniolo)

summary: the reader experiences some unresponsive feelings from a special someone

genre: angst

cw: taylor swift references maybe…? Is that a warning? Other than that I really don’t think theres much

a/n: as always, @iha8you ‘s request, ly, also dw you’ll get him🙏

This winter had been hell for me, it was always my favorite holiday, the cool air, snow, when it rained and I got to stay home playing boardgames with my mum, or I finally got to read that book that had been collecting dust on my shelf for ages now that it was dark and rainy. No, none of it this year. Every time I hung out with him I held my breath, in fear I’ll do something wrong, take too much space, become too much of a liability. Its stupid, just stupid, I’m his best friend, known him since i was 16 years old, but he seemed so much more older, and wiser.I belittle myself next to him, instead of just letting go, I take a mental note of every little gesture he does that correlates in any way to me, every choice of words, I save them to then divulge them later. It’s draining, not knowing if its just all in your head. If you’ve got it wrong…

“y/n? Hellooo, are you there” i snapped out of my meditative state.I was cross legged on my bedroom floor with two of my closest friends, I didnt even remember what we were talking about anymore.

“yeah sorry i was just distracted” I sighed tying my hair back into a low ponytail and resting my hands on my knees

“we were talking about Matt? Y’know you actually have a chance with him, did you see the way he talked to you earlier?” My friends were only feeding into my delusions, the other nodded in agreement. Even if he did actually see me like that, i dont know what i would do, we’ve been friends since highschool, everything would just be too weird and messy, it wouldn’t be right, no, not with me, not with him.

“No, guys, stop, you’re all just talking nonsense and it just makes everything worse” I groaned, placing my head between my hands.

“C’mon, who could ever leave you?” She says giggling, looking over at my other friend, it wasn’t funny, not in that moment at least. I felt despaired, I know it’s obvious I like him, maybe no one actually takes it seriously when i throw in some extra compliments once in a while of some flirty remarks, but I never try to hide it, except the real thing of course. I know my love should be celebrated, I shouldn’t settle for someone who just tolerates it, but I keep going back to the same thing, always, no matter how many people I see, no matter how many excuses I make to not hang out, its like a moth to a flame, I know im bound to get burnt, trust me. My friends keep convincing me, I feel petty having to listen to them try and make me feel better. Sometimes I come close to actually getting serious then I just think its a waste of time, he just always assumes im fine when my eye contact becomes non existent and my words get mixed up, I dont think he notices it at least, I dont think he ever notices. I guess this means im just doomed, It doesn’t matter how many times my friends reassure me, how many “glances” i pick up from him, Im never going to be one of his main concerns, unrequited. Im always just dimly lit, just enough. I should start trying to accept, settle, “always the bridesmaid, never the bride”.

a/n: this is kind of sht i wrote this at 1:00am, I’ll write more with requests🙏😊😊

[cloudcountry]

ur idia arc is beautiful im taping it on my wall so i don't have to forget

i hope it's a plateaue instead of an arc this is nice im going to draw him doing some fun vacation thing tomorrow

he shall just float in the pool probably he would have a really fancy blow thing that he can put an umbrella on bc he doesnt get to see the sun

I SHOULD DRAW HE HIM BRIGHT RED SUN BURNT. THAT WOULD BE FUN. i would feel bad. but very fun none the less.

hehe thank u :3 its like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders i can finally see him and know peace

honestly i dont think its a arc. i mean i went back to twst which was the real test and he didnt piss me off even once. i think yesterday changed the course of my entire life and i dont see myself going back to hating him soon. we are literally besties now (he is still scared) (please help him) no actually hes fine dw about it :))

THATS SO SWEET EDIE :(( honestly for the event i think im going to write something about the reader teaching him proper sun protection skincare!! im a sucker for that kind of physical touch and i can only imagine it would freak him out DJSJDSDJ

AS LONG AS YOU TAKE CARE OF HIS SUNBURN AFTERWARDS BAHAHA

[fairycosmos]

hi love, hope you're doing well, I know a lot of people say this BC it's true but your posts and advice and wisdom etc etc is just sooo lovely to read honestly. so I saw you used to be a TA but quit cos it was like too much for your mh and stuff I'm in the exact same position rn and I just wondered if u have any like info/advice anything really like... obv dw about me taking whatever u say as too final but like, is it a silly job role to have when ur someone who really finds life so draining so easily and struggles w mental health often? like even tho working w kids is lush in general. cos Im on a break rn w an agency and then planning on going part time at some point but even then that seems scary af.

hiii sorry for the late response to this - i hope you still see it. i wanted to say i totally understand being overwhelmed in this way. working with kids can be wonderful but it is also absolutely draining and when you're already emotionally drained just in general- it gets to be a lot. i was at a breaking point with it, too. just the constant pressure of it. needing to take a step back is absolutely fine. last time i worked childcare, i was (i guess i still am lol) incredibly depressed, and with the insane hours i was working (it was a nursery that stayed open late LOL) and the high-stress esp for low pay (apprenticeship wages 🙄) it just wasn't sustainable. something had to give at that moment for me to feel like staying alive was even possible, and it's alright to admit that. i think when i quit, i even told my boss something along the lines of "im not giving the children the presence of mind they deserve because im in a really bad place right now', and it kind of helped me to frame it that way. that by doing what was right for me, i would also be doing what was right for the kids, even if it was painful and bittersweet and made me feel like a failure.

i guess i also want to say that just because you're feeling this way right now, like you need to pull the brakes on your job a little bit, doesn't mean you always will. and two (or more) things can absolutely be true at once - you can be great at what you do, have a genuine love for it, want to return to it in the future, and still be completely fucking exhausted by it all. i think doing what you can to reach out in terms of your mh and making that a priority would definitely serve you well in the long run. i took a break from it and now, when im starting to consider seeking part-time TA work again, i can see advantages of the job now that im looking from afar + after a break to recalibrate my mind and my approach. part-time hours might be a great compromise for you that works out - its a lot less overwhelming and a lot more manageable - but if that still ends up feeling like too much for you, that's okay. it's pretty clear that you're burnt out and in need of some deep emotional rest and catharsis, someone to talk through your feelings with so you can examine where they come from and how to cope with them healthily in the future, which is totally understandable - most people need that or a version of it at one point or another. i know the nhs is on its last legs esp in terms of mental health care, but i would encourage you to ask your doctor for a referral + seek out support groups in your area or any cost-effective private therapy practices if that's an option for you (a lot of them are willing to work with clients to agree on a manageable price.) anyway sorry for rambling, i think i just wanted you to know that you have numerous ways forward here and that your current stress level is completely justified + relatable to me as a TA with MH struggles. i think it's about finding a balance, whatever that looks like for you. im rooting for you and if you want to talk about this a bit more, i will be here. also, thank you so much for the kind words 💌💌 they really made my morning feel a bit less shit. i know im just a stranger and nobody has to take my words seriously or listen to them ever and it means a lot that they sometimes do. sending a big hug your way. it's ok to put yourself first for as long as you need and are able to! X

[zhongrin]

Iddjbdkekbs plssss no need to dodbsksbs (hehe, I know <33)

True that!! He is a combination of both!! <33

Ikr?? So so cute!! (He surely marks you up everytime he is drunk - so be prepared hehe~)

He will giggle and he will cup your face by your cheeks and kiss your face all over while he coos cute praises

Djiddbjsksksk YES. TOTALLY. like one second he could be "I love you s'much, angel~ let's get married soon~" ("Bai, we already are married.") And other second he is "did you know that *insert random fact about anything here with a logical explanation*"

Rin I would even carry him if I wouldn't be so weak dkshsbjsskks

WAIT I DO NEED WHAT???? *faints again*

..... Rin.

You can't tell me you only wanted to draw him blushing. He is shirtless. And and.. I get the feeling something is going on down there (real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise)

🤨📸

Hehe~ I will I will, don't worry~ <33

.. Rin whatcha doin with this clipboard?

IKR?? FKDHSJKSJNN ITS SO CUTE LIKE SJSHSJIS STAN MEITHAM AND ZHONGRIN!! 💞💞

Hdkidbssiisb omg I am sobbing;; teapot and special bookmark;; do they have any details like

What's on the teapot and on the bookmark? 💞 A special design? A quote? Anything? ❤️

Ikr ikr and his hair is so LONG. but Baizhu is patient with me and always chuckles a bit about my (failed) attempts at the beginning

Hair oil? I don't use, and I don't think Baizhu does either.. his hair seems like the ✨naturally perfect✨type to me (like himself.)

And yes he does, often when we cuddle and I lay my head on his chest he begins to play with my hair (or when I give him head PLS IM SORRY.)

So yea <33

What about you and your husband's? Do they play with your hair and do you play with theirs? ❤️

Lmao it's finee 😭💞

Oh Zhongli would totally do that, brewing coffee for his adorable wifey anytime she needs it <33 he really is more the tea type LMAO. Consider you drinking coffee and Zhongli drinking tea while talking about everything 💞💞 and yes. He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

Oh em gee, imagine you wake up and the first thing you see ins Alhaitham shirtless - working out - his abs and muscles shining in the sunrise. ❤️ PLS THAT'S SO CUTE FOR SOME REASON, him reading and you curling aaaaa kdbdisoks

Baivi hmm

Who wakes up first? Quite a hard question because both Baizhu and me are quite early birds.. so I would say - it's changing quite often, hehe <3 (pls Baizhu is either an early bird or an insomniac or both somehow)

When Baizhu first wakes up, I am sure he first looks at me and admires a bit (pls imagine just the both of us simping for the other one so much, but Baizhu being more subtle with it) before he gets up to cook breakfast

When he has to wake me up - he would do it by planting many kisses all over my face while repeatedly saying my name or some nicknames <33

Baizhu is responsible for breakfast. Pls I can't cook for shit and I would rather eat a bitter breakfast than having the kitchen burnt down. Lmao.

Now same questions to you!! <33❤️

ofc you need that daily dose of baizhu every day 24/7 vi what are you saying (i am weak in the knees pls)

he can mark me all he wants <3 and i'll gladly show it off if he wanna <3 ;))

hsldjfklsjdf brb crying that's. that's so cute al haitham giggling oml what's genshin equivalent of a video recorder i need it NOW-

plssss you taking care of your drunk hubby 😭 omg you know the qiqi carrying xiao meme. is. is that you trying to carry drunk passed out baizhu back home helpjsdklfjksldjf

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION (WITH TONGUE) VI DON'T YOU WORRY WE'LL SAVE YOU BAIZHU WILL SAVE YOU

real footage of you giving him head, can't tell me otherwise

................ maybe? /shot

WHATS WITH THE CAMERA VI-

hmmmmm? just uh. scientific notes. dw about it ☺️

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT STAN BAIVI!!!! 💞

zhongli's teapot has a dragon pattern painted onto it and the teapot cover + cups have a lil 3d dragon on the bottom. kinda like these:

and haitham's bookmark is something made of metal, kinda like this:

except it's a hawk and at the end of the little chain is a green coloured tassel hehe

hbu what kind of presents have you given baizhu and/or baizhu has given you? :D

oh that's adorable and oh yes he would gently play with your hair while you give him head to let you know you're doing so well, hoping you'll take it just a little bit deeper-

with zhongli, YES. he has his own hair oil concoction and makes it his duty to help me with it + with drying my hair after i get out from the shower. he loves seeing it all silky and now i smell like him so it's a bonus <3 and i love being pampered so it's a win-win situation <3 <3 <3 i can't braid neatly to save my life but whenever i do it he'll always keep the braid on until it's bedtime or if it becomes too loose (in which case he'd untie it with a slightly saddened look). your honour i love him sm

with al haitham..... ok look idk why but he gives me the '1 soap for everything' vibe. you think he'd care about hair oil? i'll have to be the one who takes care of his hair hsldjfklsjldf but he does play with mine every now and then, subconsciously. 12/10 would pull on them when i give him head-

He would scold you and make you sleep in.. special ways. <3

which is why i do it all the time i mea n what-

that's. that's an instant libido spike. welp guess we both starting off the day by exercising ;)) /bonked

omg you morning risers heathens /j

i'm melting from the thought of baizhu just staring at you lovingly while you're sleeping. man probably whispers stuff like "you're so beautiful, my flower." / "such a cute smile... i hope you're dreaming of me..." to you omggggggg

who wakes up first? definitely zhongli. man doesn't really need sleep so yeah. he's the one cooking breakfast because i too cannot cook without risking burning the kitchen down (i probably tried to do that one time to surprise him and zhongli almost got a heart attack when he peeked into the kitchen like "my dearest wife, please, rest your weary hands, i can handle this-" *tries to subtly take the spatula from my hands*). he's my personal alarm clock, and he'd wake me up with kithes <3

now al haitham.... on work days, he's diligent. his body clock is trained to wake up early in the morning to work out and cook and do stuff. but on weekends? don't expect us to get out of the bed before noon please and thank you <3 we're gonna be either 1) asleep, or 2) cuddling on bed lazily. i mean come on, it's the weekend. life's meant to be enjoyed ok slkdfjlksdjf this man wakes me up by either 1) shaking me (rude), 2) pulling off my blanket (very rude), or 3) picking me up and carrying me to bathroom so i can wash my face (i hate him /lie)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok so I forgot to put a checkmark on this note so delete this if I’m repeating….

No fr the shaggy gold would’ve been fine….what in the bungo stray dogs haircut….

SHSHSH IF YOURE REFERRING TO RECENT CH W MEGUMI ETC THEN YES I SAW!!! Lowk kinda crazy only three more chapters who else will they bring back….i wasn’t expecting so many survivors atp though honestly

Im crying he would totally proclaim himself to be “big bro ollie” SHSHVSHS and then you have snuffy looking from afar with a mix of “wtf is going on” and “ah young love” LMFAOO

Trueee ok but I can’t get over this “midfielder oat” LMFAOO i first thought of a bowl of oatmeal but forgive me I cannot decipher what this means my only other guess was goat…but fr too many extremist fans only the ones on the two ends of the spectrum…

Honestly that’s such a hiori move….bro doesn’t understand how to express his feelings properly due to obvious reasons so he just builds a whole ass house

Manifesting Karasu beats the player allegations….please clear his name….

That emoji is so sae LMAOO I’m just thinking about all the chaotic possibilities I didn’t realize aiku had so much potential LOL

HSJSHS dw we make up for it as much as possible….just gotta stock up on some hair wax and be like “style your hair like this or we’re over also you should get a beauty mark under your eye”

OOPS LMAOOO I think your random thoughts are funny though so if they don’t enjoy they’re mixing out LOLL but OOOOH BIRD THEME wait that’d be so on brand….bird theme….but yes a thought for later LOL

- Karasu anon

LMAOO no worries i did get your ask earlier but last night was a little crazy for me…long story short i returned to the party scene for the first time in a WHILE and in the span of a few hours my best friend got cussed out by a guy on coke, a man downloaded linkedin for me because drunk mira wanted to build he professional network (??) and then slid into my linkedin dms trying to date, a DIFFERENT guy who we literally met on the street after the coke guy kicked us out of the party we were at flirted w me for like half an hour on the side of the road while my friends talked to his friends and then he asked me to dinner (i told him i was too drunk to answer properly but actually i just thought he was unattractive and didn’t want to be mean 💔), AND THEN to make things worse i woke up today with an awful hangover and migraine 😭 threw up so hard i burnt my throat and sounded like a chain smoker for a solid hour it was horrible 😰 truly a night where bfb karasu was needed but alas…here we are…i’m finally able to look at my phone without my migraine flaring up though so i will answer you now 🫡

PLSSS NOT BSD i’ve never watched it but one of my mutuals (ironically the one who got me to watch bllk) loves it!! lowkey from what i’ve seen of her posts though yeah kaiser would fit right in 😭

no literally like i’m surprised at how lenient gege was honestly!! i will reserve my opinions until the last three chapters are out ig though KFJDKS i wonder how he’s going to wrap everything up though…

snuffy is so lost but he’s like “if it makes the kids happy 😄” so he’s supportive…omg but imagine snuffy as the final wingman boss??? after aiku gets every single ubers member (except maybe niko) a girlfriend he’s all satisfied and smug but still single himself and then SNUFFY of all people finds him a girl who he actually settles down for (at first because he’s scared of making snuffy upset but then it’s just because he genuinely falls in love with her)

LMAOO oat is just of all time kinda like goat is greatest of all time 😭 but yeah i just meant that hiori obv isn’t competing w sae and charles yet but he’s def not a horrible player either the way some people make him out to be…NO FR like why confess when he can just build a house and wait?? you KNOWWW karasu and otoya are like what the fuck when they find out that’s his strategy 😓 meanwhile rin is like yo that’s fire let me steal that HAHAHA

FREE KARASU FROM THE PLAYER ALLEGATIONS at best he’s that one rlly hot guy in the nerdy classes that the three girls also in the subject are in love with because he’s smart plus handsome plus respectful?? but he def wouldn’t be aware of it

no because it feels like my third eye has been opened like wow wingman aiku i was unfamiliar with your game!! there’s def many directions that i could go with it so as long as i’m still interested by the time i finish my reqs i’m def writing the series

FBSKDNSJSB random thoughts + irl lore + occasional writing is basically my blog tbh i love oversharing on here because nobody knows me irl so i can say wtvr i want 😭 very freeing…and yes a bird or flower theme would be rlly cool considering those are very miraverse ™️ concepts but we will see when we get there!!

[expensive-rainbows]

im so tired. i got up at 830 which you would think would be fine but it felt like i was getting hit by a truck. then i had bootcamp which is js a rlly hard workout for three hrs at my tkd place. i was home for like an hour and then i had to go to work and im so tired i almost fell asleep on the way home. it also took me way too long to figure out that im hungry and i had to go through everything ive eaten today ((in order btw) energy drink, mac and cheese, three fries, and a shake (im steaming some green bean rn dw))

at work i (i work at an ice cream place) i covered the register for most of the shift, and people would just hand me their card and expect me to do everything for them. including enter the tip and their code if they needed to. idk how i was sposed to know that stuff but i was. id say, itll ask you abt the tip, and theyd look so annoyed, and then if it didnt go through right away, id check and itd be asking for the code, and id tell them and theyd be annoyed. usually they were pretty good abt taking their card back, but one guy js stood there and stared at me and asked if i was gonna give him his card.

also i had fries for my break food, and i didnt know they were ready right away, so by the time i got them they were hard and burnt, so i didnt rlly eat any. i was kinda disappointed since when i was getting cheese to dip them in i accidentally poured hot cheese all over my hand and had to run to the back to rinse off my hand (the front sink only has hot water and thatd probably be worse). later i was talking to one of my coworkers and i realized that i probably swore in front of a bunch of customers (i definitely swore i js wasnt sure if it was in front of customers or not)

two of my coworkers have the most vacant stare ever. im sure they arent as stupid as they look but they look like theyre rlly stupid. but they do whatever i tell them to so if theres something i dont want to do i can be like hey can you go make *thing i dont want to make* and theyll just do it. i told my mom about it and she said that even though im probably younger than both of them im making myself in charge by being more confident and that is the first time ive been described that way lmao.

cw: rape mentions, sh, trauma, etc

ok so this probably doesnt seem on topic but i promise it is. (no i was not raped at work or anything)

anyways today my shift lead was jeff (not his name) who is probably 6 ft, white, blonde eyes, and wears his hat backwards (its hats or hairnets we all choose hats). for some unknown reason jeff scares me. like i cant look him in the eye kinda scared. it took me half an hour to go tell him the register was out of pennies. he bumped my elbow when he was replacing the napkins and i wanted to rip my arm off. i kept thinking he was gonna corner me and rape me. he has shown no indication of doing anything to hurt me in any way, and the only time weve ever touched has been when he bumped my elbow. he is a nice guy and i always feel guilty for having a part of my brain convinced that hes gonna rape me. its the same thing with my drivers ed teacher. he was saying something the other day while i was driving and jokingly hit my arm and i wanted to puke. he is also a nice guy but i can see him keeping me after class one of these days and raping me. just like i can see jeff following me into the bathroom, or up into the loft and raping me. i wasnt raped (unless i blocked it out i would probably remember) but i can feel it. i can feel myself being raped, being held down, i can see myself making the decision not to yell for help because something worse might happen. i can see myself not fighting because he could kill me if i fight back. i can see myself making the decision not to tell anyone, since its not rlly their business, and i wouldnt want to report it so why tell anyone anyways. if i wasnt raped why do i know what it feels like, why do i know what would happen, why can i play it in my head over and over again.

ok i got a little off track but point is im annoyed, i am fine most of the time, but theres some guys that i just cant be around.

sorry, that was a lot of words, im probably fine dw

[pilotheather]

another insane depression kms spiral. to the low stakes live blog we must....

ep 5 - time heist

ok so picking up here again

i dontthinkt his is a fair assessment per se cuz i was really out of it when i left off and im never good at picking stuff back up but

again i loooveee the premise. i love the set-up. its SUPERRR GOOD. and i do love the characters and literally EVERYTHING here its just brooo.....

it needs more time. this should have been a two parter. way too rushed. i think these extras could have been rlly memorable if they had that time to develop. otherwise theyre just sorta standard aliens with A Trait. anyways

still fun. bit silly.

i feel weird cuz like i feel like a lot of these eps so far ive kinda not connected to them and im wondering if thats just cuz inever aaw thme live and on rewatches im always either out of it, or slightly burnt out by the time i get to them (i hate s7 it exhausts me)

ajnways end of ep again would have loved this. wish it was a 2 parter tho cuz it could have genuinely elevated itself to suchhhh highs

ep 6 - the caretaker

ok so this ep basic premise its obvs more abt the dannster & a general character piece.

but speaking of oh my god. can we get someone else in the writing room. maybe its intentional? i feel like it's... just weirder if it is. but the doctor repeatedly calling him that just always feels insanely fucking racist. help

its even worse than with mickey. sorry i did post that reddit post before right. dw just hates black men i think. its a bit mental.

anyway i like danny. i think im liking him more on the second rewatch. like ok he's a little bootboy. but i think i forgot a lot of his like Actual Personality cuz im not as well versed in this era. and can i say. hes actually a delight to me. hes lame as shit. i love it when a boyfriend is lame as shit. so good. but hes also kinda dope as fuck

like he did a flip. is no one talking about how he did a flip

anyway i like this ep its fun and ive always liked this direction with clara.

ep 7- kill the moon

ngl i laughed when i saw this coming up

i like the role courtney plays, but i dont like a lot of the execution. i think teens/kids are a really hard thing to have in tv/movies for a load of different reasons. and tbh here its not just the actresses fault - shes doing fine with the stuff given, really - but i feel like the dialogue can have a tendency to be um... lacking. and they end up being dumb as fuck but also sometimes a deus ex machina weirdo. its like just write a person bro.

also why i didnt like the kid in Boom! most recently. like can we get a few more quarters in her? she's gonna repeat the same sentiment again for us all. i can see the arguments for why she was like that- but whatever not for this post

anbyways

this fuckng episode man im laughing stupid as fucking shit concept help me and i love the stupid as shit concepts

UI FORGOT ABOUT THE TUMBLR THING

WHY WAS THERE A CANONICAL TUMBLRMENTION. WHAT YEAR WAS THIS SEASON AGAIN. WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. IDK. SHES REAL THOUGH.

the moons an egg. give your head a fucking wobble, christ alive. help me god. help me please. its so funny. its like it could wokrk. theres bits of this episode i like. i like the concept of getting the entirety of mankind to vote on their phones for moon abortion. sorry its funny. but the moons an egg. help me. its getting heavier. YOU LIAR.

the whole lights thing too. like would this not only work on that side of the world. who is turning on and off the lights in the cities. whos doing this. help me

its so funny cuz the end of this is also very good its like theres a core to this that i really do fucking love i love claras blow up here and the way this is like the crescendo to everything thats been building up but help me you could have just . spent 10 minutes making it make sense. LOVE AND LIGHT

ep 8 - mummy on the orient express

yesss i like this episdoe (he says barely remembering this episdoe)

danny is so real. its crazy to me people call him whiny. he is literally the most reasonable man in existence. hes chill as fuck all things considered.

again my point abt ppl saying him and mickey are the worst. was mickey initially a great boyfriend, nah, he sucked and it was a lame relationship between two struggling not even 20 somethings. sorry. then rose went missing for a year and he AS HE SAYS was like prime suspect #1 and saw some insane shit that rocked his gourd. he was a pretty reasonable guy for someone that got eaten by a rubbish bin is what im trying to say.

hell yeah. we have the expert on the scary mummy omens thank you for giving us the exposition dump on the mummy

perkins is so pookie bear

whatever the fuck is going on with 12 and clara is insanity. its pure insanity.

the scary mummy awakens

you are NOT a mystery shopper >:(

help me god he says. i have ptsd. and the mummy is coming for me.

this is completely aside. clara looks utterly delicious in her fucking outfit. i think im going to

i actually did forget the resolution to this episode and it hits just right i shant lie.

OKAY end of ep. i fucking loved the middle i remember i loved it but i think the set up was a little slow going. my kind of fucking vibe all over.

can we keep perkins

perkins pleaAAASEEEE PERKINSSS COME ON. PERKINS WE LIKE YOUUUUUUUU PERKINSSSSSSS

[askfallenroyalty]

im getting really off-track here and am sorry to disturb from the main storyline but im very curious what fate ralsei holds in your universe because i think? this is one of the most unique endings i saw him getting? not that ive seen much besides all of the fountains closing or rals being a villain/someone from ut partially i just wanna know how he's doing. he seemed so disappointed when leaving

oh! i can actually show it. i WANT to clean up and make the drawn comic panels i did on the dark world stream publicly available but i just never find the time for it KLFLSf it'd be a bit of an effort because i didn't know to use the webtoon feature so everything is by a LARGE folder instead of separate canvases... wild i used to work that way. hell on earth.

ok so. I WILL transcribe this comic when i do the above ^ so apologies to those who need it for now. under the cut is Ralsei's ending, minus most of the context. i want to emphasizes, THIS IS A TEMPORARY POSTING LMAO. it will be accessible and fully contextualized later

Uh. Spoilers for Darkworld Arc (the Sam's Biggest Mistake in AFR History Arc). Does it count as a spoiler if i'm a lazy ass who hasn't gotten around to cleaning this story up?

again transcript will be added in the actual release. alongside the unfinished "music" video (the audio was never composed as the vid wasn't finshed.) it has SOME merit tho.

After the Big Battle with Gaster the knight returns (is anyone surprised? no) and posseses Lancer to help give an epilogue to the kids.

(skipping ahead a little because i DO want this scene to mostly be unspoiled, even after all this time)

...apparently this is where either my tablet died again or i was burnt out after drawing for like, idk, 12 hours on stream SKFJSLDF. this is the last panel.

mwuah. a master piece.

ANYWAY. Ralsie (at this point he's been reunited with the kids at the end of the battle. i DO have art for that but i'm just going to show the aftermath)

anyway with Tazetta being crowned princess and given a fresh new life, (again, details vauge cause it's a cute scene that works best with full context) she and ralsei are set up to be new siblings -a brother and a sister!

Kris and Susie got the chance to be proper heroes to defeat Gaster (saving Ralsie in the process) so everyone's on good terms -Susie feels redeemed for attacking Feylow and Knight-Kris (Knis???), Kris got a big Hero Moment and feels validated in their ability to choose their destiny, Ralsei gets to feel the prophecy wasn't a total lie, and he's been given a full chance to live his own life now without the Knight being a turd about it

anyway with the Knight

(AGAIN trying my best not to spoil the scene (fine with talking story beats but not in detail) so deal with being out of context as possible) the knight literally ends the fight by putting gaster in a time out and deciding to become a better person for the darkner's benefit.

yeah. jeeze. really wild how chapter 2 completely recontextualized things huh.

Also, since it's been a year :grimace emoji: i can saftely say the knight is WAY out of character and way to nice and "forgivable" in this dark world. back then I was thinking: "hm, maybe the Knight can be more redeemed and once in Darkworld, they could have a change of heart :)"

yeah thats. that's WAY off the table for Angel's Lullaby as it is now. the "will they or won't they redeem themself" is still on the table but its a WAY bigger fight to accomplish (or fail) than what was depicted here, sharing Kris' SOUL or not.

I think i was just toying with the idea of the Knight's redemption to foreshadow Asriel being flowey and not believing their SOUL was real. I felt this would help justify/foreshadow why Asriel was wrong ahead of time. or something. now i just think it hurts the story by having the knight involved, it undermines that story's intentional confusion if Asriel was right or not a ton!

yeah a big reason why the DW arc was Bad was because 1) outdated for both Angel's AND deltarune LMAO 2) bad in context of Asriel's arc 3) Feylow is kinda a big mess and overly ambitious of a writing metaphor for my skill level at the time 4) litearllyyyy hate the narrative i built for frisk and ralsei and i couldn't really salvage that x-x

ANYWAY sorry for the mean tangent. hopefully this gave you some insight to Ralsei's story arc even if I didn't show the full extent of it

[indigohitoshi]

rating bnha people and how’d they protect / what’d they do with your drink:

the girls

– mina ; she cuts people ❤️ no i don’t take constructive criticism. she pulls a knife on anyone that gets too close. 10/10

– momo ; LOVE HER. she does the classic hand over cup but if anyone gets close enough she’ll create a bat and pull a sangwoo very fast <3 that’s my baby. 10/10

– jirou ; holds it close and simply screams at the top of her lungs if anyone says something along the lines of “can i see your drink?”. she just. starts hollering. until they get too scared or draws enough attention. 8/10, it scared me in the process trying to get my drink back.

– uraraka ; she makes your drink float, no one can reach it anyway. it ends up spilling but it’s the thought that counts. 6/10

– tsuyu ; she just... holds the cup in her mouth. she like. let’s it rest in there. but if someone came up and asked for the drink her tongue comes out and puts them in a chokehold, yeah ❤️ 7/10, the drink is slimey but that’s okay she did her best.

– kendou ; protects that mf with her LIFE. she doesn’t even let monoma watch it bc she doesn’t trust anyone. if someone comes within two feet of the drink she backhands the fuck out of them. 7/10, mistook you for a stranger and almost backhanded you, too.

the boys

– kaminari ; YOU GIVE IT TO HIM AND HE REALLY DOES DO HIS BEST BUT HE ENDS UP LOOSING IT. and if he doesn’t lose it he spills it trying to,, “jokingly” flirt with all his homies bc he’s a lot little tipsy. it’s the thought that counts, though. 4/10.

– sero ; he tapes it to the ceiling 😀 leaves it there. forgets about it. to be fair, he’s high out of his mind. you kinda want your drink back tho but his tape is so adhesive you can’t even cut it down 💔 3/10

– kirishima ; HE IS SO GOOD WITH DRINKS. EVERYONE trusts him. he def barks at people who gets too close or bites them until they bleed with his sharp teefies. the only thing is with all the drinks everyone trusts him with is he doesn’t know which one is yours, but he still protects it with his life. 9/10

– bakugou ; looks at you when you hand him the drink, tells you to fuck up, but goes batshit if anyone gets too close to him. at the same time he doesn’t do this shit for free, he probably spits in your drink and laughs when you smile and take a sip. i hate this mf. but 8/10.

– tokoyami ; don’t even TALK TO ME if you think he’s bad with drinks. he RESPECTS YOU WITH HIS LIFE AND WILL NOT LET THAT MF DRINK GO. he just fucking bodyslams anyone that gets too close, no words. if youre suspicious and too close he doesn’t care about your feelings and fucking destroys you on the spot. 10/10

– iida ; tells you you shouldn’t even be drinking and pours out the drink. he’s there to make sure everyone’s being responsible and you were not. 1/10 for caring tho.

– midoriya ; he does his best, too. but he lost it and had a meltdown because he thought you’d be mad at him. you reassure him it’s fine but he’s still like sobbing over it 💔 like it’s OKAY baby dw. 7/10

– monoma ; starts boasting about how much you trust him to hold your drink but hisses at anyone that tries to take it. feral mode. he swung at someone and this turned into kendo pulling him off and just watching your drink so monoma could go get some ice. 7.5/10

– shinsou ; he doesnt even wanna BE here. so when you handed him the drink unless you’re someone he EXTREMELY cares about he ditches that shit. but if you’re the lucky few he stands in a corner and just ... stares at it. his eyes don’t move. people try to talk to them and he flips them off or goes “no ❤️” and they walk away. 9/10

pro heroes

– aizawa ; he sorta like... glares at anyone that’s close enough. some bullshit excuse like “what drink is that? can i have a sip?” causes him to throw the first punch and isn’t phased by it 😀 mf said pow pow. 9.8/10, drink is 100% in tact but he complains ab how much he wants to go home.

– present mic ; he LOVES parties, but it truly pains me to say this because i love him, if you give him the drink he leaves it around and will panic. he ends up getting you a brand new drink until you sip it and say “...this isn’t my drink...” he starts crying and is overreacting more than you do. 4/10.

-- hawks ; bakugou in a different font. spits in your drink but still protects it. kinda backhanded, if he truly does fuck with you he flies around with your drink in his hand outside the bathroom door until you come back. he still spits in it tho. 9/10

-- endeavor ; disgusting. 0/10. 

-- midnight ; SO good with your drink. she absolutely just straight up ends anyone’s shit that tries to even TALK to her while she’s holding your drink. im in love with her. midnight if you’re seeing this you’re late for our date im at the restaurant rn. 10/10

league of villains

-- dabi ; idc WHAT yall say. if you ask him to hold your drink he acts irritated asf but anyone that LOOKS at the cup wrong gets burnt to ash i will debate someone on this and you Will lose. he won’t spit in it tho, he’s put hot sauce in it to piss you off and laugh when you get mad. overall 8/10.

-- shigaraki ; he really wanted to help okay but someone got too close and out of defense he pulled the cup back and disintegrated it. he didn’t cry you both just looked at the pile of ash in disappointment. 6/10.

-- toga ; got so happy when you asked her to hold your drink :( my baby :( she got so excited she accidentally stabbed someone that really wanted a napkin but she wasn’t sure because she wanted to protect your drink so bad. poor baby. at least your drink good tho <3 10/10.

-- twice ; he forms a circle of him around it. just clones of him circling the drink. very affective. 10/10. biggest smile when you give him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

that is all thank u <3

[aquirkynerdytur-port-key]

1/28/19

God why is everything so fucking exhausting

I can’t seem to stay awake no matter now much caffeine I drink or how much sleep I get, and I just want to be able to stay awake and learn and do decent in my classes but I’m fucking stalled in life, everything is continuing around me, if not faster than normal, and im here, all alone but not really alone? I cant even do homework anymore the slight drive I managed to keep from 8th grade until now has burnt out and I cant motivate myself to do the readings or the problems or whatever and im just drowning and cant stay happy, even though im doing things I love. Also like, my friends arent really friends anymore? More like “colleagues”, and everyone else is essentially a stranger.

God I miss Cole

Hes moved on to bigger and better things and probably better friends, we barely talk anymore and im too scared to start up a conversation because it always goes along the lines of:

Hey

Hey

Hru

Im fine, hbu

Uh im gucci lol

And then we stop talking for months on end.

Everything is just falling apart and I don’t know what to do. I cant tell my parents or family, it would be too awkward and they would give “advice” which is just stating the facts.

Recently I’ve been thinking about dying, but like always I come to the conclusion “no thats selfish, you’re a chicken anyway, what if Cole/finley/acey/Ryan needs you tomorrow???” So I dont do it

Tried to learn how to file a complaint to sr Adams today. That was a fun talk.

Maybe questioning my sexuality now? I mean, I dont FEEL anything romantic/sexual to others, but like, I talk about girls a lot and how I would like, tap that and shit like that??? Not sure anymore. Im gonna stick with my feeling over my mentality and thoughts tho… so still identifying as Ace/aro.

Learning ukulele is good, lots of fun, liana Flores is amazing at songwriting and honestly it would be so so SO cool if I could learn how to write decent songs/good chords for one. People say music is essentially poetry, but all of my poems would NOT work whatsoever with any tune or beat or whatever.

Also im really fucking pissed that I have such a shit memory for things that matter.  I can remember the entirety of heathers, BMC, the Hamilton and mean girls soundtrack, countless episodes of DW/Sherlock/Spn, numerous pages from PJO or HP, but cant seem to remember anything valuable for history class. So fucking annoying and stupid.

Guess its getting bad again, my completely undiagnosed, probably nonexistent depression and anxiety.

I hope mr petrocelli is recovering nicely. What a dude.

But yeah I feel like it’s getting bad again. Ive been feeling like im about to throw up for the past month or two, cant seem to feel anything positive for more than a couple minutes, and have been so fatigued that I cant focus on anything.

Fuck man, writing the truth down on here is kinda painful. Like this is probs the 3rd time ive cried while writing this, when ISHOULD be doing homework.

Membean can suck my nonexistent dick. SOOOOOO fucking stupid I hope that I wont have to do it next year because I KNOW most of the words but still get the questions wrong because im given synonyms or I forget how to spell it. Its also EVIDENT I know these words because I use them quite a bit, but NOOOOO I HAVE to do a fucking memorization thing.

I really wish that I could freeze time, because I feel like a damn mirror thats been shattered. The glass shards can still display the image, but it is hard to see. a single hit or amount of stress can cause the shards to collapse and become beyond repair.

Hm, is this like a diary now? This is so damn weird. Who knows 🤷‍♀️ if anyone reads this later on, what’s up lol. Think thats enough for now, sorry to waste your time complaining about some pretty minuscule things…

Shit that was so fucking pathetic, apologizing to someone who probably will never read this anyway. Anyway, hasta la taco, as Asha would say.

Do you think it would be possible to go to the health center and ask for a mental health day or something? I just. Cant do class tomorrow. Just thinking about HOMEWORK (and tomorrow lol) is enough to make me start crying, but the last time I went because of a mental breakdown they told me to stop running away from my problems and to grow up and face it because I wont be able to chicken out in the real world.