#IM DA ONE WHAT DONE DIS!

[naenaex0xx]

hey did you know. Nice words are the best feeling in the world

[covey-o-quail]

magic isnt sentient I DONT CAREEEEE white london is ALIVE it's dying but like. it's still alive. they acknowledge this. the earth is angry the magic is afraid. and ok so tell me why antari present at like 4-5 + holland was 8 not like a super outlier but truly he probably would not have survived if he was a target That young. It Chose Him change my mind impossibleand also. his eye took a long time to go black white london scraping the bottom of the barrel for this boy who had pretty much already offered himself up which. hello. + his freaky threads "it was probably just osaron" okay i just think he would have noticed a change in his magic if so a la keel frayed threads anyway also also like he just was Given blood commands? so was kosika. also im normal abt hollands first spell being to end a life and kosikas being to save one . im so normal and also it is relevant. but like kell and lila had to learn them like theyd learn anything else. and maybe this one can be written off as it kind of makes things more difficult to explain otherwise bc where would white london antari get them from But. holland also has like a deepinate understanding of the rules and regs alsoBut. true unignorable freaktari behavior when they keep saying only the folk who hold the elements in balance can nurture life bc it's fragile at the start (o_o) and antari are often just Way Too Powerful to have Balance and the Priest Trees book4 They Keep Saying This and well. Well. tentatively crediting ghostholland with his tree However kosika cherry tree those most egregious Uhm?s but like even before that and even before That. i mean holland growth and life and strength/control/Balance w da rings n shit forever WAIT i was also going to say this later but it hit me holland black london deathsleep grass weeds flowers holland silver wood........ the Grass.................hello. yeah i for sure think his body is in some kind of incorruptible preserved + this? im not saying serak wouldnt be deep in his faith without but. Also the whole 10days theroies Like white london is definitely preserving him i think it would be good if it said Ok we understand rest a little while but like. it's not over here. i think it would be good if white london and its people learned to love the other again and trust. that was always the biggest thing 2 me since book one literally the whole magic + man story and then kell thinking abt holland vortalis ally and then holland + danes story BE SO FR maybe thats why i got confused and didnt understand the framing of acol ending bc holland was always white london 2 me on some level and he should have lived and if he dies well. "when you say mean things abt urself this is who ur being mean to" except holland when u kill urself this is who And living his life loving white london was how . . so yes magic has been bound and abused for so long like how is an answer not to stop mistreating it. it would be so hard and so scary to accomplish but i believe andi think something could be done w holland switching sides in the allegory being a man w no magic just a guy who still is not unlike white london itself in fact more so even!! but whateverrrrrrr this gets into unfumbled alt paths. working w what is presented i am still hopeful

ok so i am curious how kosikas power will be explained if it's not literally just White London Chose Her Too since like. that cannot be hollands power lol. when i first read i was really negative abt the inheritor being brought back up and the possibility of it being An Object In Play for this trilogy but now. actually kind of digging it (osaron excluded) bc i would be fine if lila goes for it. espesh since it took her+kells power to close that one door and if things only escalate Well. there are more thoughts as to lila but i would support her if she decided to take the plunge and i would support her if she chose to Not and find another way and trust. i would be fine if kosika went for it bc it would probably either be bc 1) holland told her to or 2) holland told her not to. LOGISTICS ASIDE im not typing out the minutiae of hows. truly i do not think option 1 bc the truth of the inheritor would dismantle The Everything lol. but yk ghostholland can just lie so. it's simply a question of why and also what is he. number two is holland gets revived or some other thing happens and unravels kosikas whole Everything and it leads to a Mess and well. it would be really sick and twisted if kosika Actually went and inherited hollands power since we love to keep saying shes done so. and also she would do it to save her world that was it that was the Reason sorry i kind of think she'd be mad and disappointed in holland for a number of things . and even if he had never seen her b4 and was dead half her life i think he would feel guilty abt failing her. bc he's holland.

[en0xx]

Tommy Shelby x young fem!reader (part2!)

TW: some smut, AGE!gap.

Summary: after recovering little by little, and thinking through at things, y/n found herself unable to get her mind off Tommy, so did he…

She desired him more then never knowing that it was wrong, she cannot hold back, how could she…?

I can see him through my window, as he got in his car and drove off. I sensed the door of my bedroom open, I sighed turning to look directly at my father.

“Im sorry…” it was all I could manage to say at that second.

“I should’ve thought things through before I even got to breathe near him… it was so… foolish of me-“

“Y/n, it’s okay, you did nothing wrong. People can’t help it at times of which they might blind themselves, for things they do. And it’s okay that you have fallen for a person, your human… and most of all your my little girl, I care mostly for you, but in the end it’s okay.” He cut me off, as he hugged me into a comforting embrace.

“Life is hard, so be it! At the end y/n you will look back at these memories and maybe you will laugh at, smile at, or even cry at… still you can’t stop something that was or is meant to be done.”

I look up to see him tearing up too, but he held those tears without shedding them, instead he shed a smile as he let go.

“So, how did it go?” He then asked.

“He…- he asked for forgiveness, and I thought it was just that for him to feel, relieved…? But what I didn’t expect was that he told me he loved me. But how can I believe him? After, what he did… how can he say such a thing after what his intentions were.” I spat out in a breath as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe because of realisation…” I heard my mothers voice who was leaning in the doors frame, as she walked in kneeling in front of me trying to get a hold of my eyes on hers.

Me and my father just stared at her, trying to know what she meant.

“A long time ago, two families that would occasionally gather on each others houses, to dine, work… or even for their entertainment.

On one family was the youngest girl of the family out of her siblings, and on the other the second born son out of 5 children. And these two were the complete opposite of each, and that made them two “hate” one another, they would always fight or tease each other, or pull pranks just to embarrass the other. One night at one of these gatherings the sons father and the daughters father, announced that there was going to be an engagement where this man and that girls older sister were put to wed. And her sister as most of the girls, the excitement had no limits but on the other hand the girl felt weird, she felt like something cold washed down her body, she had gone out to just gather herself up. Walking down a balcony away from the people, but so suddenly she was met by the pair of eyes she never saw with so much spark, his eyes. She got the courage to talk and make peace, but he didn’t speak one word to her, instead just stared at her as she became frustrated of why he wasn’t responding. And he just said “Te Amo” then his lips fell on to hers with passion while her eyes closed letting go on everything except him…

And she then knew, knew that what she felt were the uncontrollable sentimenti verso di lui… cara mia (feelings towards him my dear). Their love was held hostage until no more e tesoro, è stato difficile per loro quello che stava succedendo, ma hanno affrontato tutto insieme (and darling, it was hard for them on what was going on but they got through everything together on which) they are now together.” She rose from her position to standing by my father's side sliding her hand around his shoulder looking up at him then they both looked at me.

“Questa è la nostra storia y/n, tesoro, è da lì che abbiamo iniziato, (This is our story y/n, baby, that's where we started). I do t want to push anything honey, and I hate him for what he did, but I know your heart aches, I do…”

I trembled while getting up as they both welcomed me on their embrace.

“Grazie” breathing out just one word, was only I could manage in that moment.

Days passed as they turned into weeks, where there were letters, calls… almost, everyday, ignoring them was no easy task on which I surprisingly passed… the house felt empty, so… grey I was sitting by the big backyard garden looking at the fields where all the horses were, the tea beside in the coffee table cooled off from the breeze.

“Meryy!” I called out while I heard footsteps behind me.

“Get my coat, please?” I glanced at her while her lips tightened into a small smile.

Getting up from where I was sitting I walked in the house waiting for Mery to bring my coat. Glancing one last time at the stairs seeing her walk down holding the material carefully as she smiled comfortingly while she puts it over my shoulders, glancing over at my face pulling me in for a cheek kiss.

“Be careful okay… promise me?” She whispered as she fixed strings of my hair.

I nodded smiling back at her, sighing big leaning for the door, while Mery closed it behind me.

The car ride felt like a decade, but then out of the sudden I found myself in front of his… his house. The same old carved wooden doors, the same sound that it made while nocking. One of his maids opened recognising me.

“Miss, Mr.Shelby unfortunately is busy today and has no time free out of his schedule.” The woman tried explaining.

“Tell him it’s me and we’ll see.” I simply spoke as I raised one eyebrow.

With a simple nod, she left and after about 3 minutes she walked to the door again while she opened the door for me to walk in.

“Mr.Shelby is waiting for you at the main room, Miss.*

I walked slowly, I could detect his cologne from afar but as I got closer it got more dense. Till, I met his eyes, his cold piercing eyes that dug through mine. His cigarette left his lips while his lips whispered my name at the same time the smoke left his lips.

“Y/n…”

“Tommy…” I said in the instant. Feeling my own words, even breath getting all tangled around my throat as it felt sore.

He changed positions, now facing me entirely. I walked in while following to where he signed me to sit, while he sat across from where I was.

“Somethin’ wrong?” His look became more concerned.

Shrugging as if I got where I were, out of the blue.

“Tommy, I… I just wanted to let you know, that after thinking for a long while, I do get it that you were hurt, and I forgive you… as much as I kept myself from saying this. My heart- EVEN my mind cannot let me lie for such a thing, and I do forgive you… Tommy.” With a tight feeling throat those words were so hard to say, especially. To him.

A shocked expression shot his face, looking deeper then eyes at me while his breath was becoming more deep.

“Sweetheart…” Getting up he looks down at me, then, he sat beside me then holding the eye contact, still.

Feeling his hand, creep u on my cheek felt better than it could ever, his cold fingertips running up my cheek sent shivers to my last bit of being I had left. My lips parted while I leaned on to his touch while my eyes fell shut to lean in to the long missed feeling.

“Im sorry’ for everythin’.” His voice was low, calm and it was all I wanted to hear.

He parted his lips to talk again but my own pair of lips cut him off by meeting his in a soft peak kiss. Pulling away to look at him was hard at first because I wanted more of him.

His other hand came up to wrap around my hair, tangling through each curl of the fingers, pulling once more for a deep, needy kiss.

Feeling his hand then come up my hips pulling me flush on him as a slightly moan slip away my lips at his moves.

“I missed you me’ girl. I did, more than ever.” He parted away while saying each word.

“I missed you too… it… might seem strange but I have craved you more than life itself, these past days…” I moved on top of him, while he guided me closer to him.

“God’ I missed ye’ touch, words… the way ye’ love…. Ye’ whole… and god punish meh’ for ever hurting me angel ever again… I couldn’t sleep, but… the whole situation made me realise.” He paused… while his breath shook, his eyes dug through my flesh, bright as he then chose to just stroke my left side of the face, with his rough but so soft hands.

That touch, his touch sent thrill, shivers through my body like lightning struck the ground. Leaning on his touch, while closing my eyes, taking in what was building in.

“Tom…” I felt like I couldn’t breathe but then, I heard his raspy voice.

“Let me taste your pretty lips, hm? Once again, to feel the nectar of which your youth beholds…”

Not letting him finish my lips, suddenly met his, both leaning in the kiss for it to deepen, his tongue slip into my welcoming mouth, with need.

Saliva ran down on the tail of my lips as the kiss became more messier.

Moving on top of him while both his hands ran up my back, holding both our bodies in place.

Pulling back from that kiss Tommy groaned as he tried to have one more taste, smiling at his expression, my cold hands found his thick neck wrapping my fingers through the length and skin, tightening the grip time by time… I could see his eyes that screamed for me, to have me.

Smiling devilishly while my hands slip lower to his chest, my fingers curled on each one of the buttons of the loose linen blouse while his chest was all mine now to see.

“Not scared someone might walk in eh?” He scoffed with a smirk on his face and one of his eyebrows creeping up.

“Should I be? I can’t find nothing in me, like that feeling right now…” Whispering to him, he hummed running his hand on mine.

“And what is me girl feelin’ then?” Looking at his eyes now feeling the moment getting more intense.

“Hm, why’d you want to know…?” I whispered. Once again.

“I want to…” Slipping my hand off his as it ran lower, glancing at him once again, his reaction softened as if he was trying to see something…

I suddenly paused my breath hitched on my throat.

A long pause will the room, only our stares screamed more than words…

“What are you feelin’ doll..?” He whispered leaning closer, his forehead resting on mine.

“I…- I don’t know… myself, that might seem stupid to he-“ he cuts me off by speaking.

“Not stupid at all, love its alright’ to have mixed feelin’s about this whole thing, and I am the one to blame, I caused this… it’s not your fault.” He softly spoke.

Pulling him closer to me, at that moment all I wanted was to feel his body on mine, his muscles shift his grip tightening, him inside me, welcoming his shaft on my own warmth.

Curling up on his lap while I face him, I continued to take his hands and run them on the buttons of the blouse I was wearing, his hands undid each one of them carefully, his beautiful oceanic eyes never leaving mine.

I then found myself feeling the cold of the room attaching to my skin. My bra already unclasped, feeling the pair of hands, caressing the skin growing goosebumps felt like heaven, it felt like never before, with, god… so much… love.

His hands reached up, curving around the sensitive nipples and both pair of breasts, he breathed deeply as he reached the soft skin.

“Tommy…” I whispered grinding where his growing member lays stiff. His breath hitched on his drying throat, our bodies sticking up to each others feeling a wave of desire.

“Hm…?” His raspy voice echoed through my ears, his mouth laid wet kisses on my neck, down my collarbone till he reached one of the breasts, he twirls around his hot wet tongue around the nipple, pulling back while his lips found the other needy breast, suckling and licking with so much force and need that a shock of warmth hit through my throbbing core.

“Are you trying to really eat me?” I jokingly breathed back as I pulled his face to look at mine, just to help me to gather myself a tad bit.

Was that any help, no, not at all.

Seeing his eyes looking up at mine, his long lashes hitting his eyebrows his mouth slightly parted shining all puffy and pillowy, showing a beautiful pink colour. He looked like a puppy, which, he never looked so, miserable for anything before, which definitely inflamed me.

He then slid one of his hands down reaching my belly button. “How I crave it makes me wild…” while his hand slipped past my panties, holding in my moan wasn’t so easy as I thought, not that at all. His lips still parted turning to a smirk, his fingers brushed on my burning core.

“Trying to resist much ey? But your pretty little SOAKIN’ pussy tells me otherwise, darlin’.” He snickered devilishly.

Trying to speak, even one word seemed so hard, I couldn’t speak, not while his fingers rubbed around my core.

“Shut- up… Tom-my…” Was the only thing I could manage to say but then.

A shock of pleasure with a screeching moan of pleasure left my lips as he shoved his fingers inside my welcoming hole, curling his fingers.

“What did ya say, hah?” He raised an eyebroe not even flinching at my nails digging into his shoulder blade.

“Ahh, how I’ll ruin you… you won’t be able to remember your name anymore.”

His laugh echoed while my eyes flattered from the pleasure.

[sunnychuuya]

FUCK OKAY SO I SCCIDENTALLY DWLETWD THE OG POST I WAS MAKING ITS FINE THO

What is this it makes me think of the recent bsd chapters lmao

So basically I'm in the temple placing the booms

ASH FUCKING DROPPED A VASE THIS KS WHY K HATE YO UTAGHH

I put em all down- now I have to make it out. I don't believe in myself. My heart is speedy

NEIL AND MAPLE FUCKING DIE TOO GUYS I CANT HAVE ONEBOUNCE OF HAPPY

AhhhhHHH STUPID UGLY BOY THAT I LOVD

"I'll finally be with my Todd again" guys this game sucks booo I'm crying.

ASH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FINALLY DO SOMETHING, BUT NOOOO YOU CANR DO IT AND NOW THE CULT IS STILL THRIVINF AND THE WORLDS FONNA END.

SAL COULD KILL LITTERALLY EVERYONE IN THS FUCKING APARTMENTS TO TRY TO STOP THE SPREAD

AND YOU CANT KILL A FEW OF YOUR FRIENDS

I KNOW IT FUCKING SUCKS

BUT IS LIKE

IT HAS TO BE DONE GOD DAMNIT

just got the title screen for memories and dreams mmm ourple

Oh what da fuk

guys I'm. A L I T T L E confused to say the least

"Ugh never mind" great to see after murdering his loved ones and getting excuted hea still the same silly man

Why is this SO FUCKING COOL

LARRYS DAD?!

"I stopped nothing. I died for nothing. I... killed... for nothing." Owie ow ow owie ow ow fucking ow

SAL IS THE CHOSEN ONE

UR A WIZAR-

great a shattered soul

Guys pls I'm so eepy and I'm sure sal is too I mean heblitterally died- can u not make me go hunting for sjit

"There used to be a. Door here.. uhm there it is." Dkkdkd

GIZMO BACKSTORY

I think my eyes just started bleeding st the sudden artsyle change what in the mickey mouse fuckery is this

is that a fucking zelda reference is that fucking beedle (I might be delusional)

Purple thingies

I tried the microwave and TV and tried combining them wtf is the code

*cutely turns to google*

Thats painfully obvious.

WOW RHANKS FOR MAKING MY ENTIRE FUCKING SOUL LEAVE MY BODY JESUS CRHIST

Holy shir ig their making up for the lack of jumpscares last chapter H U H

bro idfk what I'm doin.

OH SBIT WHAT THE FYCK

GUYS I DONT LIKE HOROR

Wow trauma 😀 fuck off henry

AH POLYGYONS

ozohh spinnys again RANDOM BUTTON SMASH GO

the noise is skko aggressive I'm gonna cry

TRINGLE

PNCE AGAIN THE SOLUTION IS RANDOM BUTTON MASH UNTIL SOMWTHING HAPPENS

fcyk wait I might actually get it-

Nvm j don't:(

Fuck dude I got no clue

cutely gives up

Ill figure it out tmmrw I swear

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow

Im eepy tonight so not a ton

[acoraxia]

LIVE RHY REACTION TO INVESTITURE OF THE GODS

Disclaimer: this is an English translated version and I do not know how accurate it is so if some things are wrong or improperly translated please let me know. I will also be including screenshots of dialogue and scenes every now and then but please keep in mind I will probably not go into too much detail of these chapters and that I am just reacting to the scenes that happen in the book.

This is also VERY LONG because the book itself is very long. Do not read it if you don't want spoilers/want to sit through a lot of text.

I’ll be covering Chapters 1 - 10 in this post

Once again, do not read if it's a lot of text and mute the tag #live rhyactions

CHAPTER 1 (GODDESS NU WA AND KING ZHOU):

I can’t believe they made Li Shou king because he was strong. He threw a pillar and everyone told King Di Yi to make him king like ok cool ig

also in the other version I was reading, King Di Yi was called Da Yi.. wonder if that was a mistranslation or something

“King Zhou established his capital at Zhaoge, a metropolis on the Yellow River.” interesting, in the other version they call it Morning Song. huh! The more you know

“The king placed Queen Jiang in the Central Palace; Concubine Huang in the West Palace and Concubine Yang in the Fragant Palace. They were all virtuous and chaste in their behavior and mind and gentle in manner.” (…) im not gonna comment on how much that last line irks me for some reason but… ough

ANYWAYS HE RULED IN PEACE… YIPPEE

“and his peasants were especially blessed by favorable winds and rains” why did that make me laugh a little ok

the four dukes!!!! yippee!!

East Grand Duke Jiang Huanchu, South Grand Duke E Chongyu, West Grand Duke Ji Chang and North Grand Duke Chong Houhu

i hope none of them die

SEVEN YEARS OF PEACE!!! and then a report was sent to him oh no

ough a rebellion.. of 72 marquises in the North Sea District — surely Grand Tutor Wen Zhong can take care of it right?? surely he’ll take care of it.

Shang Rong asks King Zhou to honor and hold a ceremony at Nu Wa’s temple for her birthay (the 15th day of the third month) and King Zhou has the gall to ask, “What has Goddess Nu Wa done that a great king such as myself is obliged to to go her temple and worship her?”

What if i stab him. what then. 

thank you Shang Rong you will always be the smart one of the advisors

King Zhou then makes an announcement that he's going to go worship Nu Wa at her temple. amazing. thank you for that.

“It would have been better if he hadn’t gone at all, for it was this very pilgrimage that caused the fall of the Shang Dynasty, making it impossible for the people to live in peace.” i think it was because he disrespected Nu Wa actually

why did he need 3,000 cavalrymen and 800 royal guards if he is such a well known and respected king… hm… 

But they were under the command of General Huang Feihu, Prince for National Pacification and of Military Prowess. so maybe this guy’s important for later. hopefully. i do not want anyone to die yet

except King Zhou but anyways

PRAYERS!!! RESPECT FOR NU WA YES

why are you wandering King Zhou. King Zhou go back.

KING ZHOU.

KING ZHOU NOOO

the most beautiful passages describing Nu Wa and how beautiful she is and how she looks at him with joy and this mfer gets horny. ok.

Or, perhaps, it is about how men’s desires in the past were always the cause of their own downfall because he was warned that Nu Wa was a respected goddess and one he shouldn’t take lightly and, in the end, he ends up disrespecting her all on his own and that is what causes his downfall. 

“He desired to possess her and thought to himself in frustration, ‘Though I’m wealthy and powerful and have concubines and maideservants filling my palace, there’s none as beautiful and charming as this goddess.’” 

rip bozo you signed your own death warrant

AGAIN, I AM SURPRISED HE ACTUALLY DID WRITE ON THE WALL ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTED HER. I THOUGHT THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE WAS LYING TO ME BUT NO: 

Shang Rong: Nu Wa’s been a proper goddess and the guardian angel for Zhaoge, I only suggested that you worship her so that she would continue to bless the people with timely rains and favorable winds and ensure that they’ll continue to live in peace. But with this poem, you’ve not only shown your lack of sincerity ubut have insulted her as well. This isn’t the way a king should behave. I pray you wash this blasphemous poem off the wall, lest you be condemmed by the people for your immorality. King Zhou: shut up i’m king

NOT THE REST OF HIS MEN LOWKEY SIDE-EYEING HIM….

anyways they go to the Dragon Virtue Court they go where he meets up with his queen and concubines happily. hooray!

Nu Wa paying respect to the three emperors — Fu Xi, Shen Nong and Xuan Yuan — before returning to her temple on her birthday is so nice to me? I know Fu Xi is her brother in some iterations and it makes me happy idk :(

WAIT THE MFER WROTE THIS IN THE MAIN HALL?

IT SAYS SHE SEATED HERSELF IN THE MAIN HALL — NAHHH HE DESERVES WHAT’S COMING TO HIM WHAT THE HELL??

GET HIS ASS!!!

did not know King Zhou had two sons (Yin Jiao and Yin Hong)

anyways he still has 28 years to go before his downfall and Nu Wa realized “that she could do nothing about it at this moment, since that would go against the will of Heaven.”

surely this “against the will of Heaven” won’t be a reocurring theme in the book and it’s successor, Journey to the West, right? Right?

of course it will

NU WA SUMMONING DEMONS AND EVIL SPIRITS FROM THE DEMON SUMMONING PENNANT LET’S GOOOO

“All demons the world has arrived to receive her command” queen shit

IT’S THEM!!! IT’S THE THREE QUEENS OF THE SHANG DYNASTY LET’S FUCKING GO!!!

“May you live eternally, dear goddess!” they have more respect than King Zhou LMAO

“you mustn’t bring harm to the people” uh. anyways.

“since his visit to the Temple of Goddess Nu Wa, King Zhou had sunk into deep depression” shut the fuck go hold your wife

“He had no passion for his queen, his concubines, or the numerous maids in his palace. They now all appeared to him like lumps of clay.” Something poetic about Nu Wa making people out of clay and King Zhou now seeing them as clay—but also fuck this dude

King Zhou: im sad because im in love with nu wa and can’t marry her

what if i kill you

NOT THEM SUGGESTING HE ORDER 100 WOMEN FROM THE GRAND DUKES — BRO NOOOOOO

why is that the end of the chapter

[.....]

CHAPTER 2 (THE REBELLION OF SU HU):

King Zhou: bring me 100 virgins. they must be gentle, virtuous and above all beautiful

i cant with this man.

Shang Rong: you already have 1,000 women you can’t ask for more when your people are dying of drought and floods King Zhou: fine

HES SULKING LMAO

Su Hu… i like Su Hu he doesn’t want to give you any bribes smh

Shut up King Zhou i miss Su Hu

“we greatly appreciate the kind concern shown us by your majesty” i dont trust like that…

what if i killed them all

why are you mentioning Su Hu has a daug- STOP

ISN’T THAT SU DAJI’S FATHER HOLD ON

King Zhou: can i marry your daughter Su Hu: fuck you King Zhou: >:O

NOOO HE FUCKING ARRESTED SU HU WHAT THE HELL

he was right though this kingdom is dying because you’re being too horny King Zhou please listen to REASON

HE (SU HU) WROTE HIS POEM ABOUT KING ZHOU ON THE WALL HELLO?

idk if it’s intentional but it seems like he’s making fun of King Zhou for writing on Nu Wa’s temple wall LMAO i love that

we stan Su Hu

“Our goal is the utter decimantion of the city.”

I miss Su Daji

where’s my wife

Fei Zhong is like… the worst fucking instigator huh? He’s the one who keeps giving King Zhou ideas- i hate men

Ji Chang taking place for King Zhou so he won’t get caught in the cross fire… interesting that he hesitated on that? ig?

“How could possibly have offended the king? He’s known to all for his loyalty and good conduct, and for his many outstanding military successes. There must have been good reason for him to write the poem.” Ji Chang you’re one of the few smart people in this novel

tiredly reading this chapter because…. ough… ji chang,,,, rebel,,, ji chang,,, j i c ha ng,,

ANYWAYS BACK TO SU HU ARRIVING BACK AT JIZHOU

he has a son (Su Quanzhong)???? HE’S A DAD???

wait why am i suprised his daughter’s literally daji nvm

honestly this is great for learning how names work yppee

NOT THE 50,00 STRONG ARMY FROM CHONG HOUHU… OUGH

Su Hu immediately getting angry when he learns Chong Houhu is leading the armyncjks

“Chong’s an evil fellow” LMAO??? OK DAMN

not Su Hu apologizing for not being able to salute properly becuase of his armor

“King Zhou has of late become corrupt and immoral as a ruler” SAY IT LOUDER

LMAO NOOOOOO

NOT THE GUYS FIGHTING

STOP PLEASE NOT SU QUANZHONG

nvm they won HELL YEA

RUN AWAY CHONG HOUHU YOU COWARDS

SURPRISE ATTACK AT MIDNIGHT LETS GOOOOO

i forgot peopel took drums with them to war

not Chong Houhu drinking after Huang Yuanji reassured him it’ll be fine. fool. you’re at war. don’t drink before sleeping

“They rushed in like tigers and wolves, slaughtering and maiming on all sides.” ough i love this novel’s descriptions

SO MANY PEOPLE DYING 

“Chong Houhu dismount from your horse and die!” these men are violent

if this is how violent they are im terrified for su daji now LMAO

Su Quanzhong my beloved

NOT HIM KILLING SUN ZIYU WHAT THE HELL

not Chong Houhu fleeing and distracting his son and he ends up gettig killed by Su Quanzhong

THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS???

wow wtf

[.....]

CHAPTER 3 (DAJI ENTERS THE PALACE):

MY QUEEN’S ARRIVING LET’S GO

My queen did not, in fact, arrive

These men are going through it

also i thought Chong Houhu’s son died but no hes just wounded LMAO

MOST OF THIS CHAPTER IS MEN CRYING I CAN FEEL IT

Chong Houhu is finally smart for once in acknowledging he cannot win this

“A huge army is marching towards us at great speed.” PLEASE SAY IT’S SU HU COMING TO KICK EVERYONE’S ASS

oh. 

nvm

Chong Heihu, the Black Tiger, the Marquis of Caozhou

why does he have a brother-

Black Tiger: i heard you got your shit rocked

Su Hu: Black Tiger’s here? We’re screwed

Sun Quanzhong is so cool but also so so stupid

bro your dad is telling you this guy is trouble because he knows MAGIC bro

Bro don’t go off to fight your dad’s sworn brother bro no

NOT THEM CAPTURING SUN QUANZHONG

BRO

BRO WHAT THE HELL

HERE COMES BLACK TIGER WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

nvm the steel chair was Black Tiger winking and trying to give Sun Quanzhong a signal that he is, in fact, siding with his dad but Sun Quanzhong is too stubborn and fucking decides to fight Black Tiger

honestly bro what did you expect

GET FFUCKING CAPTURED BRO

DUMB OF ASS… STUBBORN BOY SOBS

also no Black Tiger isnt a tiger he’s a human thats just his name i hope i dont have to clarify that again oops

bro

bro???

SU HU WHAT THE HELL???

so… petition to beat up Su Hu??

NO

NO

NO

NO

OH MY GOD

BRO ALMOST KILLS HIS DAUGHTER- WHAT THE HELL??

Why does he blame her and not the man who is lusting after his, supposedly, young daughter? Why doesn’t he curse the man that was a tyrant and has been growing lustful with power? Why doesn’t he realized that she is not to blame for she does not even know what is happening? 

Ough.

Black Tiger: Brother, if only you would only consult with me, I could withdraw my troops. Why do you fear and refuse to see me? I don’t understand! There’s no ned to launch an attack. 

black tiger and su hu have an interesting relationship.

hm.

tfw even your men are wondering why you are suddenly acting so strange

bro Black Tiger did something to Su Hu huh….

GENERAL ZHENG… OUGH

hes going to fight black tiger oh boy

“Black Tiger was mounted on a fiery-eyed monster” what if i eat him

General Zheng Lun of Jizhou… inchresting

interesting.

NJKCDSNJCD FUCKER CAPTURED HIM SO QUICKLY WHAT???

also Black Tiger’s smoke magic >>>> LMK!Macaque’s shadow magic sorry lmao forgot to mention that

Su Hu: I cant believe Zheng Lun died Zheng Lun: i’ve captured the black tiger Su Hu: what the fuck-

“I’ve never forgotten that we’re sworn brothers. I’m ashamed to be a captive and greatly appreciate your courtesy.”

Black Tiger And Su Hu Have An Interesting Relationship (by which i mean it's strange seeing male friendship represented like this in such an old novel but it's a /pos kind of strange yknow)

uhm.

anyway.

SHUT THE FUCK UP SAN YISHENG PLEASE. STOP

WDYM KING ZHOU WROTE A POEM NOOOO

Poem basically says to let him marry Daji or else they’ll all die.

Su Hu Is Considering This.

“How could I dare to oppose his wishes!” bro you literally told him to act like a better king what’s happening right now-

what if i die

wdym the chapter ends there.

what

[.....]

CHAPTER 4 (THE FOX SPRITE MURDERS DAJI):

the title goes straight to the point huh-

“I won’t sacrifice my life on account of my adoration for my daughter” Su Hu what if you shut the fuck up

yo what the fuck

Black Tiger going off on Chong Chouhu what

wow.

anyway-

“As I cannot let the family perish on account of Daji, I’ve got no choice but to send her back to the palace and apologize to His Majesty.” Su Hu i want you to choke

aw madame yang crying over daj-

what the fuck

huh

huh

huh

WHAT

I MEAN I GET W H Y

BUT

HUH???

y’all she’s gonna die either way im sorry-

“The old couple spent the whole night in despair and sorrow.” and y’all didnt… like.. want to fight for her or…. ok

when’s erlang showing up so he can beat up everyone

OG DAJI DID NOT DESERVE THIS

LOOK AT HER SHE BREAKS DOWN INTO TEARS WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT WHERE SHE’S GOING

OUGH MY POOR GIRL

Su Hu after hearing there might be a murderous spirit haunting the place they’re staying at: SURELY THIS WON’T AFFECT US IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE

He checked in on Daji to make sure she and her maidservants were sleeping before reading a book on war strategy…

sir make up your mind either cherish her and love her or send her off to be married to a man probably twice her age

HE STARTLES THE GOES TO CHECK IN ON HER

OUGH

EITHER BE A GOOD DAD OR DONT BE A GOOD DAD WTF

the fact he stays awake to keep her safe

wtf

oop

OOP

LMAO

SHES DEAD SORRY LMAO

so.. who’s gonna tell him..

Fei Zhong: Su Hu is here to offer his daughter King Zhou: Why??? Fei Zhong: …b…because you asked for it-

mfer is so offended and for what

Shang RONG MY BELOVED

THE ONLY MAN WITH FUCKING COMMON SENSE LETS GO

and then Fei Zhong ruins it by saying if Daji is beautiful enough then they can forgive Su Hu and if she’s ugly then they can kill her and his father ok wow wtf

SU DAJI MY BELOVED <333

the fact they say she wears red… and i hc’d she wore pink/violets on her way to the kingdom.. and when the spirit kills her and possesses her she’s fully red clothed…. ough..

Can he like… not…. can he not….

I MEAN

i know why she’s so ethereal to him

because hulijing are said to be bewitching to people and they fall in love with them easily

but also fucking come on dude what the hell

sorry this whole thing is jsust… you have to read it to understand how ANGRY i am at this motherfucker right now

“passionate blissful night” daji im so sorry dude ough

NOT HIM FUCKING NEGLECTING ALL HIS DUTIES IMMEDIATELY

BRO I THOUGHT IT TOOK… LIKE 13 MORE CHAPTERS

MFER IS JUST…. GONE

WOW

WHAT A WAY TO END THE FUCKING CHAPTER

OUGH

[.....]

CHAPTER 5 (A VAIN ATTEMPT BY MASTER OF THE CLOUDS):

Master of the Clouds: she’s going to bring calamities

GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING DAMN

also like???

she hasnt murdered anyone

Nu Wa sent her

why are people triyng to exorcise her already wtf-

TNE FUCKING MONTHS?

KING ZHOU HAS BEEN DRINKING AND FUCKING FOR TEN MONTHS???? HASNT APPEARED IN TEN MONTHS??? BROTHER WHAT

everyone: we’re worried King Zhou: anyways

HES SO FUCKINGNCJKDSNJK

im so tired of this dude

JUST DO YOUR FUCKING WORK??

where’s his wife bro

where are his sons

what the hell

Master of the Clouds explains taoism

ngl it’s pretty cool

i wont post the whole thing but it’s genuinely cool

he made a poem about the spirit lmao

PINE SWORD… SOUNDS SO COOL TBH

i want a pine sword

HE MADE ANOTHER POEM SAYIG HOW NICE HIS LIFE IS AS A TAOIST MASTER

THAT’S…

i like this dude

funky

Master of the Clouds: this pine sword will kill the spirit in 3 days King Zhou: Cool! Daji:

MOTHERFUCKER BELIEVES HER

OH MY GOD

GASLIGHT. GATEKEEP. GIRLBOSS.

motherfucker you CANNOT BE THIS DUMB OH MY GODNJDKSNJCKDS

bro 

BRO

i cant believe it fucking ends there DAMN LMAO

[.....]

CHAPTER 6 (THE BURNING PILLAR TORTURE):

i wonder what this chapter’s about oh boy

she recovered and carried on with her merry-making… i love her actually

“(…) Jiang Ziya will enjoy worldly glory and filfth, and fifth, gods are to be created.” ayo?? first even Jiang Ziya mention 

iirc Jiang Ziya was Erlang’s mentor? I could be wrong but yknow yippeeee

so basically, to recap: Master of the Clouds sends a poem to Grand Tutor Du Yuanxian and he immediately writes a report to King Zhou. Shang Rong receives the report and tries to present it to the king at his personal palace

oh boy

Du Yuanxian: hey so the spirit in your home is growing really powerful to the point where the spectral light she emits can be seen in the ninth realm King Zhou: HE ALMOST KILLED DAJI >:(

sorry guys he is…

he sure is something. this man. yea

He asks Daji if she knows anything about this and she just

oh my god.

SHANG TRYING TO REASON WITH HIM OUGH…

Du Yuanxian waiting eargly for news of what King Zhou said,,,,,, only to be told hes a criminal and will be executed bro what

Mei Bo: dw bro i’ll talk to the king and tell him this is all a misunderstanding

i bet hes gonna get killed too lmao

HE CHASTIED SHANG RONG FOR TELLING HIM HE’S LETTING INNOCENT MEN GET SLAUGHTERED BRO PLEASE

KING ZHOU IS SO ANGRY MEI BO ENTERED THE PALACE LMAO

Shang Rong gets a pass because hes so polite (and he’s a veteran and served for three Shang Dynasty emperors)

MEI BO FUCKING CALLING KING ZHOU OUT…

“Du Yuanxian’s a loyal minister. If you put him to death on account of your concubine, you’ll be cursed for butchering your father’s old minister, and denounced as the destroyer of the nation, for your act tantamount to wrecking a house by removing its pillars and beams. I exhort you to let Du Yuanxian live, for it you do, people will honor you as saintly ruler.” i like mei bo

KING ZHOU IS NOW KILLING MEI BO AS WELL

MEI BO WENT OFF LMAO

“You listen daily to the fawning courtiers and spend your nights in dissipation with Daji. The kingdom will suffer disaster soon, and I fear that I won’t have the face to contront our deceased kings in the nether world.” GO OFF MEI BO…. OUGH

….go off girl

go off

like

i - go off honeslty

KING ZHOU LOVES THIS IDEA

SHANG RONG RETIRES BECAUSE HE CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE

HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ANYMORE

GO OFF SIR GO

LVIE YOUR LIFE

GOODBYE SHANG RONG… YOU WILL BE MISSED GREATLY SOBS

“King Zhou continued to indulge with Daji day and night, ignoring all state affairs.” daji if you kill him now i wont tell anyone promise

iMMA GET YOU OUT OF THERE GIRL

aside from that, some princes arrived and they were all horrified by Mei Bo's execution after witnessing it and declared they have to do something to stop King Zhou

King Zhou is too infatuated with Daji to notice this ofc-

i feel so bad for King Zhou’s wife

ough… next chapter

[.....]

CHAPTER 7 (FEI ZHONG PLOTS TO DEPOSE THE QUEEN):

…uh oh-

“When the guards announced her (Queen Jiang) arrival, King Zhou glanced at Daji with half-closed eyes. ‘Lady Su! Would you please meet Her Majesty for me?’” bro you have little to no decency…

mfer you’re not even going to go greet your own wife??????

what the fuck man

also i do like that they explain Daji is a “mere concubine” so she doesn’t get to sit down. very interesting

NVM KING ZHOU IS IN FACT THERE TO GREET HIS WIFE BUT I FULLY BELIEVED HE WAS GOING TO STAY BACK AT THEIR ROOM DRINKING WHILE DAJI HAD TO ENTERTAIN HER OKAY

i love daji she’s just singing and dancing and enjoying herself i bet

fuck off King Zhou i don’t need you complimenting her

Queen Jiang: this isn’t good King Zhou: why can’t you enjoy yourself Queen Jiang: BECAUSE OF YOU

GO OFF QUEEN JIANG????

HOLY SHIT

i sure do hope nothing bad happens to Queen Jiang today

King Zhou is fucking drunk!!!!

amazing!!! /s

we love a manipulative queen holy shit

SHE’S SO GOOD AT IT TOO???

HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS MFER FALLEN FOR EHR CRYING

IT’S INSANE

i’m pretty sure any other man would’ve told her to stop crying or something

damn

abusing the fact he’s so in love with her huh

Queen Jiang: You’ve seduced and incited him to all manner of evil. You’re the instigator and must repent at once. If you continue to wreck havoc upon this dynasty, I will deal with you according to the law! You may leave now. Daji: Daji: so i’m planning to murder her-

no really she tells Gun Juan she must seek her revenge i love her nckjs

Gun Juan is so cool?

“I’m a mere maidservant” girlie you are so smart actually

it’s a solid plan too? i didn’t expect it ngl i thought they were going to curse Queen Jiang but nope! just regular plan which is very nice

bro this isnt a debate come on man

let’s go murder the queen

come on fei zhong-

HELL YEA FEI ZHONG HAS A PLAN

Everyone: go back to work King Zhou: bah Daji: go back to work King Zhou: ofc anything for you daji <33333

i fucking hate this man

this man tried to assassinate the king and failed

you disgrace me you should’ve killed him bro

wait nvm it was all part of the plan???

what the fuck omg

King Zhou: WHY WOULD MY WIFE CONSPIRE AGAINST ME

because you’ve ignored her for almost a year, mayhaps?

“Who has so shamelessly condemned this innocent woman?” Queen Jiang im so sorry but im a daji stan through and through, off with her head

daji about to pull an ultimate powermove i can feel it-

daji i dont trust like that

ma’am?

i dont have the words to describe this so uh placing this down here HAHA

King Zhou is a yes man for Daji and i cant even blame him right now

he still sucks

QUEEN JIANG CRYING

CONCUBINE HUANG CRYING

EVERYONE’S CRYING WHILE DAJI’S PROBABLY SITTING THERE SMILING WAITING FOR QUEEN JIANG TO GET TORTURED

god forbid women do anything smh

so they took one of Queen Jiang’s eyes

y’all will have to read this book yourselves lmao i am not sharing this scene

but it was good

anyways Daji wants to keep torturing her and King Zhou has an inkling of doubt on her for once

i doubt it will last tho

IT DID NOT FUCKING LAST LONG

OH MY GOD????

he has no spine

THEY FUCKING BURNED OFF HER HANDS????

MY FUCKING GOD

AND THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH DAJI SUGGESTING THEY BRING IN JIANG HUAN OKAY ALRIGHT GOOD IG

[.....]

CHAPTER 8 (PRINCES TAKE FLIGHT):

General Chao Tian and Chao Lei bring Jiang Huan to the west palace. yippe

Rip Queen jiang she only has one eye now

Queen Jiang: SAY YOU LIED Jiang Huan: but you ordered me to assassinate the King Queen Jiang: BITCH

HELP

Yin Jiao and Yin Hong playing chess…. free from guilt… not knowing whats about to happen lmao

Yin Jiao is fourteen and Yin Hong is.. two years his junior? So fourteen and twelve i think

no wonder theyre not paying attention

me too guys

YIN JIAO LET OUT A ROAR??? OK IG THEYRE RUNNING TO THE WEST PALACE TO SEE THEIR MOM

theyre crying now awesome

“I’ll cut off Daji’s head in revenge for my mother!” Yin Jiao buddy you’re like fourteen and you just kill your uncle- buddy n- oh boy

oh no nvm Yin Hong is sixteen then since they said Yin Jiao is too young to understa- yeah ok my bad

THE KING THINKS THEY WERE GOING TO KILL HIM LMAO NOOO

HE’S ORDERING THEM TO MURDER HIS SONS

QUEEN JIANG’S FUCKING DEAD?

WOW

OKAY NVM

RUNAWAY TEENAGERS LETS GOO

i would feel bad but i dont want to get attached i dont think children live long in these types of novels

HELLO?

CONCUBINE YANG FUCKING DID WHAT?

King Zhou: i wonder why she did that

BROTHER SHE WAS TERRIFIED YOU’D TORTURE HER

MFER JUST DOES NOT CARE HUH

still tries to kill his sons- im cdnsjkcndks

ERLANG PSPSPSPSPSPPSPS PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO COME BEAT THIS MAN UP

help is this why the war starts… because daji wanted queen jiang dead? damn

REBELLION REBELLION REBELLION

why does Huang Feihu have a rainbow ox

what

anyways

Fang Bi and Fang Xiang are taking the princes somewhere safe

BOTH THE PRINCES AND MARSHAL HUANG ON THEIR KNEES KNOWING THIS IS AWFUL AND WRONG BUT DAMN

NOT YIN JIAO SACRIFICNG HIMSELF SO HIS LITTLE BROTHER WILL LIVE AND RAISE AN ARMY AND SEEK REVENGE ON THEIR DAD

OUGH

ough,,,

E CHONGYU?

OH MARSHAL HUANG HAS AN IDEA

YES

YES THEY WILL ALL LIVE

SECRET BETWEEN ALL OF THEM HAHAHAHA

i already forgot who e chongyu was- wasnt he like….. hold on

no i forgot but it’s ok

Marshal Huang giving the boys his jade pendant with gold so they’ll be ok bc they have no money :( aw

Marshal Huang: yeah so i couldnt catch them idk where they went King Zhou: DAMN… it’s ok you can go now

UH OH DAJI HAS AN IDEA

Daji ily queen you go girl

ANYWAYS HUANG FEIHU ONLY SELECTINGT HE OLD AND WEAK SOLDIERS TO GO FIND THE PRINCES LMAO

why are you.. letting two little boys go off on their own 

what is wrong with you people

THANK GOD YIN HONG GOT SOME FOOD FROM SOME NICE FOLK DANG

anyways onwards he goes to find E Chongyu

he collapsed at a temple… uh… yippee

SHANG RONG????

SHANG RONG!!!!!!

LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

Yin Pobai and Lei Kai are now in pursuit of the brothers,,, oh boy

chapter ends there aaaaaaa

[.....]

CHAPTER 9 (THE PRIME MINISTER'S DEATH):

ayo what the FUCK

yknow i wasnt going to comment but immediately the generals find the Temple of Emperor Xuanyuan where Yin Hong is sleeping and they find him LMAO

Yin Pobai arrives at Fengyun to talk to Shang Rong uh oh

GET HIS ASS SHANG RONG

also conspiring with shang rong would be the best thing imo

NOT THE BROTHERS REUNITING AND BASICALLY GOING “FUCK! NOW WE CAN’T AVENGE OUR MOM”

uh oh Huang Feihu’s mad-

OH LORD HES REALLY MAD OH NO

no one wants to execute the princes 

im assuming a riot’s going to happen?

Daji said to execute the princes today and King Zhou agreed

yep riot i can feel it

JIANG ZIYA MENTION

I CANT BELIEVE SHANG RONG TOLD DAJI “KYS” IN HIS REPORT TO KING ZHOU 

WOW

YEA NO WONDER YEAH UHM

shang rong you will always be famous 

THATS WHERE IT ENDS? SHANG RONG DIES AND HIS BRAINS AND BLOOD DRIP DOWN THE COLLAR OF HIS ROBE….?

DAMN

MY GOD

OKAY...

[.....]

CHAPTER 10 (THE DISCOVERY OF THUNDERBOLT):

Zhao Qi angirly stepping out of the ranks to snap at King Zhou? uh oh

WHAT AN INSANE WAY TO START THIS CHAPTER MY GOD

WELL IG HES DEAD… HUH….

UHM…. DAMN….

“‘Have you any better means to deal with these stubborn jackasses?’ he asked Daji.”

uhm how about stop killing these men

also i can’t even entirely blame Daji for this she’s genuinely just carrying out orders from Nu Wa to ensure King Zhou is the downfall of the Shang Dynasty? She’s doing her job and it’s going ridiculously good and although a war’s coming… King Zhou is at fault for not listening to everyone that tells him he is being a bad king

YIPPEE SHES OFFICIALLY QUEEN DAJI NOW LETS GO

so hes going to behead the four dukes…. ok

WHY IS SAN YISHENG IN CHAGRE OF INTERNAL AFFAIRS NOOOO

Bo Yikao is a funky name i wonder what it means

Ji Chang’s son going in his place to King Zhou’s court… hmhm

THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN JI CHANG HAS NINETY-NINE SONS????????WHAT

“the star of a great warrior has come to existence” ji chang why do you speak in riddles

WHY ARE YOU ABANDONING A BABY SOBS

MASTER OF CLOUDS

his name will be thunderbolt…

so

like

like his name’s just lightning?

hm

ok well master of clouds have acquired a baby

oh boy the dukes are drinking

well E Chongyu’s drunk at least

HES INSULTING CHONG HOUHU NOOO

Ji Chang stopped Chong Houhu from slapping E Chongyu… damn

so close

JI CHANG SAID TO DECAPITATE EVERYONE SINCE NO ONES SPEAKING UP LMAO

YAO FU???

i have a character named Fu Yao that was wild

anyways

YAO FU TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT DAJI AND KING ZHOU AND HOW QUEEN JIANG DIED

oh shit Jiang Huanchu’s her dad right

uh oh

HE FAINTED

Jiang Huanchu: MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD… MY DEAR DAUGHTER…. HOW HORRIBLY YOU MUST HAVE SUFFERED!

i like this guy

hes just sad over his daughrer dying ough :(

aaaaand King Zhou is killing everyone ok

THATS IT… HE JUST.. GETS ANGRY AT JI CHANG FOR SPEAKING UP AND THE NSAYS HE’LL KILL ALL FOUR DUKES

wild

can’t wait to read chapters 11 - 20

[fauxmystique]

Diary of an Ork

Diary of an Ork

Gork’s ‘Andz - 57

Braindoc sayz keep gernal, using dis ere old umie data slate to talk. We’z been on diz planit for so long, we’ze cum smart enuff to count. Z’been 57 hands of days. Dayz? Days? Woh evaMork’s Handz - 129Found me old data slate. Some grot tried to nick it. Ate ‘im. We’z bigga now, been fightin a long, long time. Have a new boy. Logistix ‘e calls ‘imself. Doesn’t sound very orky to me, buh’ ‘e sayz it’ll win us da war. Den we can go fight somwherez else!!

Grot’s Stew - 111Can’t recall the last time we had grot stew. They’ve grown thick on us, they keep turnin us un-orky. We’ve ‘ad to beat a lotta ladz down. Ladz from my squad. Good ladz.I hate this fuckin rock.

Winter - 20

Somefin blew up. Made the air all cold, and the ladz all sticky. My body burned for a while. “Cancerz” doc says. Don’t know what those are. Killed a lot o’ the grots tho. We’ze been in one place too long. Too many ladz ‘ave earned names to count. Dere’s gonna be a split soon, mark my words.

Da Splitz - 35

Well, dat’z in. War’s ovah. Not against the enemy, nah, they keep comin. Big bosses ‘ad them selves an arena match. Got bloody. Lotta ladz died. Lotta ladz… killed other ladz. Anyway. Dork’ll fix it. And Mork’ll see it done. Dey always ‘ave, alwayz will.I joined up, of course. Nobhead, I am, I joined up. Went with the black orkz though, the old guard. Da Goffs. Weirdboyz’ve been poppin up. Preachin tha good word of dancin an’ singin. One’z ‘ead popped a few weekz back. Funniest shit I’ve evah seen.Gork’z Andz - 25

‘Ello lad. The war’z goin great. Once we stopped fightin eachova, we killed the shit out of those brainy boyz. Well, some of ‘em got brainz anyway, hurhur. I’m a Nob now. Got my own squad, serve da Boss Goff. ‘s Name is Gothmog.Gork’z Andz - 26Ello Lad. we’s been round da sun one time. Seemed important, idkMork’z Andz - 2

Forgot dis was ‘ere. Ello Load. Fightin’ got dense. Made it out but… we lost da boss. And er… we lost a few of the otha nobz. Gonna have to find new drinkin buddiez, I guess. Oh yeah, we’z growing now. Mushroomz and beerz and such. S’alright, but I prefer the old stuff. Nothing like a grot stew.

Mork’z Andz - 10

8 yrz, Ello Lad. I’ve decided to call you Lad. Ello. Today woz a big day. I’m da Boss now. Weirdboyz are tellin me a lot of stuff. Thingz about Mork and Gork. About a Great Enemy. It scarze me. An’ I can’t let anybody know, dey sayz. Well, I told ‘em, I’m da boss, and so I’ll tell me Ladz!Dey laughed at me. Dey laughed at Da Boss. Seemz like Da Boss has some kleanin’ to do.Mork’z Andz - 2010 yrz, Ello Lad. Got rid o’ them weirdboyz and told the Ladz about Gork and Mork and da Great Enemy and stuff. We agreed we could probably fight it, so the war’z back on. Got some ‘umie ships shoin’ up in atmosphere. Heh. Some Mek’z ‘ll be ere soon, dey sayz. Gonna have a Rocket Boy time soon.Mork’z Andz - 3010 yrz, Ello Lad.I hate this bloody rok. I ‘ate that I waz born ere. I know now dat dere’s ovah rockz. I wizh I’z born on one o’ dem.Me squig died.I ‘ate this bloody rok.Grot’s Stew80 yrz, Ello Lad.

Been a rocket boy six yearz now. Went up in one o’ da rokkitz. Mek boy said it might explode. Don’t care. Built it meself, my girl wouldn’t ‘zplode on me like that. Course, she spilled her guts all over the enemy. Dey lit like torchez in da night. Like bonfires dey burned. Gorgeous. I kept da power core. I’m gonna put it-

‘old on lad. Tonitz gonna be a bad one. They got flyboyz now. The enemy. Bombz’re comin.Da Splitz - 10

??? yrz. Ello Lad.

Thought I’d lost you. Found you in da rubble. It made me feel somfink. Somefink I never felt before. It makez me think about my ladz. The ladz I lost. The ladz I… killed. Would dey ‘ave been alive, if I ‘adn’t spared them? Would dey be ‘ere, still my ladz? I ‘ope not. Don’t know wot that even means.

Da splitz - 12

2 yrz. Ello Lad.Got some info on wot da ‘umies call dis place. Oktarius. Weirdboyz are back. Might kill ‘em again, might not. Dey say it used to be Orruk. They urge me to find ‘is blood. Dey say.. Dey say dis iz da Big One.

Diary of an Orruk Warboss found on the surface of Octarius -- Stored in Crypt Arkmek until further study can be made --- The Omnissiah Protects even They

[thegeminisage]

for never have i ever: amnesia?

HIII thank you both <333

never have i ever written amnesia, believe it or not, even though i'm a HUGE fan, as in, it's my number one bestie. actually, no, i sort of have to take that back...i've lowkey written amnesia INTO larger stuff, but never an amnesia fic on its own. so there's been: a couple of da kmeme fills with fenris who has amnesia (they're lost to the sands of time now), ben originally had amnesia during his djinn dream in @cambionverse (but it got cut and revised), and i wrote derek as having amnesia about his encounters with jennifer in anchor. but not an Actual Amnesia Fic. every time i try to think about how i'd want to do it i sort of...blank out? there's so many ways to do it i get too excited and want to do all of them at once and then something else comes along and grabs my attention. i can't tell you how many times i tried to toss around a leverage amnesia fic and just couldn't settle anywhere.

so, just off the top of my head, as a thought experiment...i'd want it to be trek because that's what i'm into rn. i actually started to formulate this as a generations fixit (kirk in the nexus can't remember his old life/that he died/something something + spock and bones pull him out) but there's a small, small, SMALL chance i might ACTUALLY write a generations fixit (sans amnesia, sadly) so i don't want to do it here and accidentally make myself less likely to do it fr in the future.

my second choice is kira/odo because i have been thinking about them nonstop for a WEEK, possibly longer. since you can't have amnesia without brainwashing, i would have odo get mindwiped and carted back to the founders or whatever. and since it's my fic and i can do what i want odo remembers like, ds9's weak points and security routines but he doesn't remember any of the people or being friends with them. so he's like helping the bad guys do evil bad guy stuff or whatever and then when the good guys are almost beat they board the defiant and he and kira are fighting until she says something important and just as she's about to go down for good he oh my fucking god i'm just rewriting the winter soldier. god damn it. maybe this is the real reason i've ever done an amnesia fic. embarrassing. winter soldier wasn't the thing that introduced me to a love of brainwashed amnesiac assassins but it is the thing that made me crazy about them. ANYWAY. let me try again.

so odo gets his memories wiped so he'll return to that great collective or whatever. and he learns what it means to Be A Changeling. he can perfect the human face like that other evil changeling that i hate. so he doesn't look like odo anymore when he changes into a humanoid form, but also he doesn't do that because THEY only did that to communicate with him and kira, so he doesn't even NEED a humanoid form. and he's like yay im so happy here i love being a changeling :) except when somebody stumbles onto their asteroid or he needs to open a door or whatever requires a humanoid form...he just winds up becoming kira. and maybe he catches sight of his/kira's face in the reflection on the water or something and is like Whoa...who is That and that other changeling lady is like dw about it come back to the goop so he does but he also keeps insisting he can't have made that form w/o seeing her and he wants to know where. and since he's got such a good sixth sense about solving unsolved mysteries he solves his own mystery of who he is and how he got there. meanwhile the ds9 gang are searching EVERYWHEREEE for him and when they finally go check the asteroid odo goes out to meet them in kiraform and is very surprised to see. kira. and everybody else is like who tf is this why is this changeling pretending to be kira but kira knows Right Away it HAS to be odo and so they recognize each other even when they aren't able to recognize each other, which is basically the same thing that happened when they met. and odo either intimidates that other changeling into giving his memories back or he remembers on his own and they leave together and live happily ever after.

WHEW. you guys thought you were throwing me softballs but i was sweating bullets over that thing. kiraodo winter soldier au would be fun as hell though don't lie

[ASK MEME]

[sol-lar-bink]

Boi howdy am i cooking like... one big ass pic.

Finally drawing all my pokemon villains/ antagonists in one pic. Therea a lot of em hehe.

I have the whooooole sketch done, but immm debating on sharing the whole thing, or snippets if it to slowly introduce the characters.

I have no clue how long it'll take... I don't plan to shade it too much.

Normally I'm worried that I will never finish it, but it'd be really cool to have all those stories in my head be somewhat represented, all in one piece.

I wish I was more confident in sharing my silly ideas and putting myself out there.

I've also got some sonic doodles i wanna try n finish soon. Generations and the movie are really getting me hyped.

I got... some kirby ideas but i feel like my focus has been shifting lately. And to think I was gonna try and be a Taranza & Sectonia artist... i just can't stick to something for long. That or i NEED something- or someone to keep me sticking to it.

I legit only talk to like... 2 people about kirby stuff? But its not regularly cos guess what!!! We all like pokemon too!!!! And probably more, in fact.

The Hollow Knight phase died as fast as it usually does lmao. Didn't finish that one pic.

I know the Sonic mood wont last long either.

I apologise for this ranble. Its 2am, im in bed ready to sleep, instead typing this all out.

I've been thinking about going back to college honestly. Try to get a better job with it. Or open commissions and drop my shorter days at work. Tbh i wanna leave my job more and more as time goes on. Need something more sustainable.

Is youtube and making games profitable? Heh, probably not... its a dream to have a self-employed job like that.

Ok it's late enough now. Ty reading this far if you did. You da best.

[shiny-parsnips]

I am at my wits end with this fucking game. Y’know I download a game from my childhood, all peachy and fun until I find Sago Mini Diner. Oh my fucking god I can’t even with this game do you understand. As I carry out orders everything’s fine and dandy until. I’m out of potatoes. No problem, I say, and I keep scrolling around until I find a truck that delivers food. Perfect, I say, and I take it into the restaurant. I’m scouring through it. No potatoes. I’m like okay no problem. It has a bread sticker on it anyway that’s for carbs. Fine. I keep unloading the truck bc it keeps popping out boxes. This one has an apple on it. Okay, I say, and I take it into the diner and. No potatoes. Fuck. Things are getting bad. I keep unloading the truck. NO POTATOES. But then I see potted plants with vegetables in it. Perfect! I shout. I pick them off, water them with a rain cloud, and. NO. POTATOES. CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. IM SO DONE. My customer wants poutine but I CANT MAKE HER POUTINE. IM SORRY, SQUEAKY, I CANT GIVE YOU YOUR FUCKING POUTINE RIGHT NOW, IM OUT OF FUCKING POTATOES. Alright. Fine. Until I get more potatoes, I’ll just do everyone else’s orders. But LO AND BEHOLD: EVERYONE. WANTS. POTATOES. FRENCH FRIES, POUTINE, BAKED POTATOES, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been scrambling, I am at my wits end. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. THE PAIN. THE TORTURE I HAVE GONE THROUGH. DO YOU??????????????? I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE until. Salad…? Okay, I can make salad no problem. ………… There is NO SALAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????? NO SALAD EITHER??????? So now I am scrambling, at my wits end NOT FOR POTATOES THIS TIME, BUT FUCKING SALAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!! THERE IS SHIT ALL OVER THE FLOOR. IM TALKING LIKE BOXES OF SHIT AND OTHER PRODUCE. I HAVE RAW FUCKING MEAT SITTING ON THE FLOOR BECAUSE I CANT FUCKING FIND ANYTHING IN THESE GODDAMN BOXES. I HAVE BEEN DIGGING THROUGH THEM AS FAST AS I CAN, EVERY TIME I TRY AND SCROLL I THROW FUCKING FOOD EVERYWHERE. THIS IS A MESS. A MESS, DO YOU HEAR ME????????? I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE. LIKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IM SORRY WE HAVE A POTATO SHORTAGE BUT STOP FUCKING ASKING FOR POTATOES!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN MY COWORKERS ARE ASSHOLES TOO. SHUT THE FUCK UP ROBIN, I DONT CARE HOW MUCH YOU DONT GET PAID, DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DO AS THE CHEF MF??? ALL YOU DO IS STAND AROUND, LA DI DA, BLAH BLAH BLAH MY LIFE IS SO BORING AND SO BAD I WISH I COULD BE WITH MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!! IM SO SICK OF YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES EVERY TIME I DELIVER FOOD. PLEASE END YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christ. I will never recover from this fucking game. I’ve had it up to here. HERE. I can’t do this anymore.

@gininabin @mistery-elijah

[ko-existing]

Grew up too fast 13 y/o responding:

You're right. My parents do restrict my screen time but I stole my grandmas old ipad and my fam dont notice. Even when the boundary of no screen time is set, Im up late on the ipad and my dropbox accounts 😭😭😭I can do what I want, basically. Im sneaky

I know it was so out of bounds that I sent you that ask. Im sorry. But I won't stop until I've noticed truth fully. Im just going through some really intense stuff right now, and I can only keep going at this point.

And you're right, any aliens is just an appearance. I am all the "aliens." Ugh im so embarrassed for spiraling like that.

I notice myself in "satori" glimpses. But the illusory fear thought loops really take me by suprise at times. I don't know why aliens synchronistically bombarded me...like this past week I kept seeing so much alien stuff, without even seeking! Maybe it's cause Im experiencing the state of "isolation" and feeling like some esoteric gremlin ?

Anyways, jesus christ, youre right. I just need to know the truth. Satori isn't enough. Maybe all the alien synchronicities came because I need to allow more direct experience by being bold? I am unsure. Ive done some pretty cool stuff with dreaming up smoother relationships. And maybe im preparing to dream up something experientially very different from current states?

Also, im sorry if I spooked you. Im a straight A student and love my family. I don't get enough sleep, but thats the worst of it. Ive always been highly emotional. Ive spiraled worse than this a toddler lol. Also turning 14 in June.

I just know, ever since I was seemingly born... i remember before I was born in absolute nothingness. And just a sense of "something expansive" trailed me all my life. I know I am ultimately freedom, "that"

We truly are alone(all one), it's just "me"

I just want to feel it all...i want to fall deeper into this truth...satori feels so fulfilling....

But I am here already, arent I? 😭😭😭

I just cant go back after knowing all this. I was always like this tho. I knew, that I would remember. I knew i knew I knew! 😭😭😭

Your previous ask and this one highly contradict themselves..

You said and asked all of that previously about aliens, mind control, asked if i'm one of them, dies das ananas, but also said you remember being absolute nothingness before seemingly being born

do those statements work together?

[theninthdoor]

ok,,so idk if u’ll answer dis but idk wer to ask advice bout astrology :(( im someone w/ a heavy neptune influcen on my chart and i feel lyk idk who i am? im always easily influence by ppl around me.. i have diff group of friends and hve diff personality for each. da neptune influence blurring my self identy and im just so lost in da sea of ppl (sori for my bad eng)

here's the answer I gave another anon with a neptune-heavy chart: X

I'd only like to add this, which is more specific for your case: It's totally normal to have different friend groups and a different "personality" for each of them. That doesn't make you less sincere or whole, in any way... We have many sides to ourselves and it's completely natural for some people and/or situations to bring out specific ones, but not others. It's great that you are being able to express so many sides of yourself, actually! And they're all YOU because you are in control; you choose what to take in, react to and express!

I understand that it might be hard to find your footing in such a watery, hazy way of being, but that is YOU. That is your identity: being versatile, subtle and receptive.

Listen- don't be scared of leaning into it, but if you really feel the need to find some stability go through all sides of yourself until you find that special one that you feel like could be the one, the "fixed" you. That can totally change as the months or years go by, but remember that you are in control of your identity; that change is up to you and no one or nothing else, alright?

(write a list of traits/interests/other things that you'd like people to introduce you by, and then pick your favorites or the ones you feel the most attached to! that could help you find your "identity" 💓 it's an exercise I've done before, actually, and I highly recommend!)

[cartoonrival]

will i need ur professional opinion on this what do you think the archie sonic status quo wouldve looked like post mecha sally deroboticization. since the freedom fighters are basically as good as disbanded anyways that would leave sonic with a similar lack of direction like when robotnik died but the world tour gimmick was kind of done with team fighters anyways so doing it again would feel stale. and i know eggman is still there but i cant really see him being the main big bad like he used to before bc the mobotropolis shield thing kind of halts any eggman plots in their tracks. so unless something with the city changes eggman isnt really as much of a looming presence like he used to be so idrk what the central conflict wouldve been had preboot been allowed to go on <- guy who doesnt watch bumblekast

my brain is kind of on a different wavelength rn but i wouldn't say the ffs are fully disbanded considering the circumstances that led to the split to begin with. if sally and bunnie both came back and antoine woke up (all of which would presumably happen, i think antoine SHOULD be disabled but idk if he would be, maybe he'd get partially roboticized to regain some mobility which i think could do well for his relationship with bunnie considering she always hated that she was partially roboticized and antoine always loved her for it, and now the person she loves most in the world is also that way. so its harder to hate herself about it because she realizes that she loves antoine just the same) then the team would essentially be reassembled. i also kind of assumed bunnie went to beaux asking to be legionized after antoine's coma, i dont remember where i got that idea though and if it was confirmed or not. cool if true though. but anyways that would mean shes also back in fighting trim.

mecha sally was def like you said one of the Big Arcs that causes a really really serious upset, so i'd figure immediately post would be a lot of really lax stuff, little character stories and things, and yeah probably sonic getting antsy about not having anything to do. tho ofc considering comic and game series story trends, i figure they wouldnt Kill robotnik or anything, he would just kind of be put out of commission for a long while in one way or another. the next arc would probably focus on some otherworldly threat instead of eggman, sort of like the gaia situation in reboot/unleashed. just to give eggman a break and feel less like But wait he isnt dead! eggman surprise. yk. but i mean even if it seems like theres no possible way for eggman to become a problem again, he always will because he is the main antagonist and the story can't really go on without him and still call itself sonic.

also also since im pretty sure a lot of the hurried cleanup regarding the echidnas was directly related to the incoming reboot and the lawsuit, a lot of that probably would not have happened. which means that the dark legion would still exist as a threat even if eggman was gone. if eggman died lien-da would GLADLY step up to the plate

[3rdrainbow]

hehe my spouse tagged me in dis

1. Are you named after anyone?

not actively 🤔

2. When was the last time you cried?

this past weekend when i was spending time w my spouse and i jus got all soft emotional sdkjlfdsjlfk

3. Do you have kids?

technically one i suppose 😭

4. Do you use sarcasm?

i try to be honest and true but the sarcasm is still natural in my bones

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

i dont rly kno, def their appearance but i guess it depends on what of theirs really sticks out to me, aside from appearances, definitely a person's voice and how they talk

6. What's your eye color?

dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

this question is a bit weird bc like you can have a happy ending in a scary movie, or a not scary movie with a bad ending you know?

in a general sense, i guess i prefer happy endings, mostly because i get stressed out easily and id like for the people who went thru stuff to chill after its all done

but i also enjoy some scary movies, most i find really hard to watch because of jumpscares or the gore might be a bit much for me, but im def a fan of jordan peeles works

8. Any special talents?

i dont really kno dksjfklasdlkj bc like in my mind i dont understand what i do that others cant do that would then thus make my talent special

9. Where were you born?

in da philippines

10. What are your hobbies?

legitimately? jus sitting and listening to music while conjuring images in my mind jklsdfjlksdf but i do draw a lot, i used to write more often, and i used to do a lot more photography

11. Do you have any pets?

yeth! i have two dogs :3

12. What sports do you/have you played?

i hate sports kjsldfjksldf i am not a team player nor am i one to enjoy doing athletics, and also i dont have a competitive nature

13. How tall are you?

5'1? maybe 5'2? i havent checked my height in a very long time but i havent grown so

14. Favorite subject in school?

science! but very very specifically biology, i was always very good at it and it just came to me more naturally than other subjects

i also really liked ceramics bc of the really fun hands on work and the fulfillment from each piece, but not the other art classes i took

15. Dream job?

working in a library or a bookstore! truly the simplicity of it all and being able to organize books and being surrounded by them, ive had this dream ever since i was a TA in my middle school library, so chill and not very likely to be overstimulated, the best

um, tagging some of my mewchuals 🥺🥺 if yall wanna do it @irradiatedclown, @tetrissyndromes, @bikerboyfriend, @butchlinkle, @jellyfishgay, @jkgaycf, and anyone else who wants to

[wodenscild]

GODS DEVANAGARI IS SUCH A COOL SCRIPT I CANT- it is honestly in the running to be one of THE favourites of mine, & is on par with Qaniujaaqpait!! Like Qaniujaaqpait, Devanagari is an ✨alphasyllabary✨ BUT UNLIKE QANIUJAAQPAIT (sorta) IT IS AN ABUGIDA TOO WHICH IS JUST SO NEAT!!! An alphasyllabary is one in which vowels are intrinsically bound to a consonant!! So we have:

ᐱ ᐳ ᐸ (Qaniujaaqpait)

पि पु प (Devanagari)

pi pu pa

In each instance the vowel is bound to the consonant! For Qani this is done by rotating the shape! Direction here is what indicates the vowel, & the shape itself is what indicates the consonant! Devanagari dearest heart on the other hand has more or less explicitly written bound vowels! So <i>, and <u> (there are a tonne more but I went with the 3 primary vowels so it didn’t outmatch Qani) are ि & ु!! BUTTTTTT <a> aint written, it is left implied!! & this is what makes it an abugida!! Which is cool :] it systematically omits one vowel from writing, but writes all others!!

Anyway while this DOES PLAY A MASSIVE PART IN WHY I LOVE IT- WHAT IS PUSHING IT UP TO BEING TIED FOR MY MOST FAVOURITE SCRIPT IS ITS LIGATURES!! Syllabic scripts have different ways for dealing with consonant clusters, some like Mayan Syllabics or Cypriotic Syllabics over spell their words, so something like my name would be “Wo-de-ne-se-ci-li-di”, while others like Qaniujaaqpait or Ainu Katakana fancy letter modding (ᕗᑎᓐᔅᑦᔨᓪᑦ Vu-ti-n-s-t-ji-l-t)- BUT DEVANAGARI TAKES IT A WHOOOLLLLEEEEEE STEP FURTHER- sure letter modding is cool & all- but what if OwO you create a new symbol for that consonant cluster~ WELL THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT DEVAN DOES!! वोदेन्स्चिल्द् (vo-de-nsci-ld)!! WHICH IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO COOL I CANT EVEN!! So the “nsc” is the न्स्च & is a ligature of न (na), स (sa), & च (ca)!! WHICH IS BRUHHHHH IM AGRINNIN’!! & THE “LD” IS THE ल्द् PART WHICH IS JUST A LIGATURE OF ल (la) & द (da) PLUS THE LIL NULL VOWEL MARKER ्!!!

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA CANT WAIT TO MEMORISE THIS SCRIPT & GET STARTED ON LEARNING HINDI I AM ALREADY HAVING SO MUCH FUN /GEN

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 44, the end. I'm off to my dad's birthday because I just can't handle it anymore

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!!!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!!!!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Richard angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz………….Flake!!!!! As stated before he joined in on the sexy sex and after all that hot sexy sexness we all cuddled in a big pile.

Then someone else came out of the car. It was Snape!!!111oneoneone

“I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Paul Darkness Omnipotentia Landers must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!”

“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Richard. Then he loked at me sadly. “I forgot to tell u, Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers. Snape made me do it with him. I didn’t really have sexx him but he’s a ropeist!!!! But Flake here is innocent. The time you walked in on us was me and Flake, Snape raped me some time before that and Flake made me feel better! I love him!”

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Satan didn’t change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into………… Voldemont!!!!!!!111

“I knew who thou were all along.” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!” Thunder came in da room. I didn't know who they were but they suddenly fell in love with me and now I love Thunder as well.

“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, Frau Schneider, Diabolo, Ginny, Oliver, Fred and Gorge (who were once Crabbe and Goyle), Hargrid, Professor Schneider, Daddy Till, Serious and Lucian all ran in.

“What is da meaning of dis?” Daddy Till asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos daddy Till is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

“Oh my goth!” Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik (and have lost the plot considering he was from the past)

“The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!” Snape ejaculated menacingly. Which made no sense because you can't submit to someone when you're dead

“You fucking preppy fags!” Serious shouted angrily.

"You know Serious, that is a very hurtful slur and you shouldn't say that." I said sadly. He apologized and we ran away for a quicky because that's how I roll. After we were done we came back while he put his schlong back into his you know what.

“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!” screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Richard’s car. It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.

“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Richard and the video of Satan doing it with an owl

“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton.” He laughed meanly.

“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!!!!11”

“Whats she talking abott??????” Lupin slurped as he sat in chains.

“I saw 2 she’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Harry shouted angrily.

“Shut up!!!111’” Lumpkin roared.

“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. “Thou shall all dye soon.”

“Think again you fucking muggle poser!!!!!1” Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel aka, the one we prefered to call Oliver both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.

“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.

"Acco virgae Oliverii!!!11" Voldrimort clamavit et subito virga Oliverii in manibus erat. "Nunc omnes te necabo et Paulum Tenebrae Alzheimer Birdflu Landers morieris!!!!!!!!!11111"

He maid lighting come all over da place.

“Save us Paul Darkness Alzheimer Birdflu Landers!” Daddy Till cried.

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Richard but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

“ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted and everyone died.

THE END!!!

[troofless]

Chapter 3.2 Notes:

holy fuck we are (technically) finally DONE with the first book. what a milestone. damn

dude this was such a chonky chapter!!! i wanted it to be out yesterday to mark the one month anniversary since the tl began but oh well

ayyyy flynn genius cooking days (run, yuri. run. this will not last for long)

master chef flynn and yuri (judge) fr

yuri not being able to cook and flynn cooking amazing food this is truly the era of all times

yuri inferiority complex is back! man i missed it. dont worry this complex about food won’t last for long (cherish it while it lasts)

nooooo yuri new sword. surely flynn is going to go our sword this time right.

omg merchants and nobles becoming bankrupt because of price drop due to previous hoard? KARMA. PAYBACK BITCH. DIE.

haha wait wtf the uncle really is dead?? :( raven-coded uncle noooooooo

oyea and between the prev chapter and this chapter raven really was going thru his second character arc huh. man was fighting for his life and dying 

ok so ig the implication is that alexei or the council changed drastically after the entelexia war so like either alexei gave up on good morals due to shitty council behaviour or all his good men died during the war possibly due to council shenanigans but anyway alexei is definitely evil alexei now

also i just realised but yuri and flynn do reference a chivalrous thief/義賊 in the miska quest when raiding flynn’s room lmao

good to know yuri has been breaking into houses ever since he was a kid

yo worthless junk がらくた mentioned from the game prologue lmao

haha omg yuri and flynn scrapping is golden 

ah yes the somewhat subtle allegations of yuri and flynn being married couple in the future since they know everything about each other (except for yuri’s scar huh) /cope

man this whole book is just one entire character quest for flynn

ha ha omg yuri punching flynn made my day

omg no way… so the chapter title omoi no katachi is talking about yuri and flynn screaming? im gonna be sick fr

ah yes i love how jiri’s way of solving violence is with more violence /j

hanks calling jiri baasan is so lol

yoooo no way flynn quotes jiri when he says a crime is a crime /delulu

‘just take the fucking medicine norein’ has the same vibes as ‘get in the robot shinji’

norein to jiri: i have one final message for flynn… please tell him… change da world… my final message… goodbye… *windows sound*

hanks: take this bread *eminem rat*

jareth and the other boys waiting for yuriflynn to come back *mr bean waiting meme*

ah yes yuri making flynn search for him smh typical yuri this is why flynn keeps telling yuri to meet him at a time and place in the main game bc otherwise yuri cant be found

okkkk omg thats so cutee ahhhhh so yuri really say flynn is coming to search for yuri instead of the other times when it’s been the other way around huh aaaaarrggghghhghhhhh *chomping at the bit*

man just imagining the beaten up boys sitting on the wall staring into the distance in the night awww

ha ha both of them fell asleep under the stars totally not fruity coded

haha omg they split the bread of course they did somewhere in the future ted is rejoicing ajfdnqlkejfqwe