#ILL FLY OVER BRB WAIT FOR ME

[piggyrobloxandmore-yt]

Host: it's my birthday come over here everyone

Mortimer: do we have to

Host:yes

A few mins later

Host: . Sits on special chair.

Riley: whoa what's up with these chickens

Nick: idk I gusse Host likes chicken

Daisy: this party is uhm questionable

Mortimer: hey hey Host you gonna do anything are just stair at us an quick stuff

Host: oh huh woah what is all this stuff gifts and cake did you throw a surprise birthday party for me

Mortimer: you serious

Host: and you got me this chicken and a special chair oh you guys know me so well

Mortimer: is this seriously happing right now

Riley: i-i-

Host: you guys are just amazing

Nick: wait it's your birthday what

Host: yea

Riley: oh let's just play along

Mortimer: oh, oh, yea yea,

Riley: wait is your birthday

Host: it is my birthday thank you for remembering and throwing me this... "party"

Mortimer: ill brb let me get your present thats in the bathroom

Host: ok

Mortimer: I think this guy has a memory problem. I really don't know why he threw his present in the toliet

Mortimer: .comes back. Omg what happened here

Riley: so many chickens

Host: now it's time to have my cake that I made

Dasiy: wait I thought we made it for you

Host: wait,... what

Mortimer: I thought Dina made it

Host: who's Dina

Mortimer: are you serious

Host: time flys when your having fun

Mortimer: like chicken

Host: hehe that's silly... wait so why are we here again

Mortimer: it's your birthday

Host: oh yea

Nick: happy birthday

Riley and daisy: it's your birthday

Mortimer: what's wrong with Nick he keeps forgetting

Riley: he's playing along

Mortimer: I don't think he's playing along I think he's actually forgetting

Nick: time to open presents

Mortimer: grabs random things . Here's your chicken

Riley: here's chicken bone

Host: for me thanks wait why are you sitting in my chair . Breaths heavly and leaves.

Mortimer: where did he go

Riley: no the chickens got out there everywhere

Nick: Host where are ya

Host: oh hey what are you doing

Mortimer: I got you a chicken and a feather

Nick: oh for me

Host: no there mine it's my birthday

Mortimer: yea isn't it shoupst to be Host birthday

Host: wait it's my birthday

Host: happy birthday, happy birthday Mortimer

Nick daisy and riley: happy birthday Mortimer

Mortimer: it's not my birthday-

Host: here I got you chicken a feather and a bone

Mortimer: wait I just... I got a bone to pick with you guys

Nick: here I got you some presents to

Mortimer: no its your birthday Host

Host: no no no I insist there yours

Riley: wait it's Host birthday

Host: anyways I think I'll remember my own birthday

Mortimer: no you forget that it's your birthday and you forget your own name half the time

Host: what am I some kind of fool

Nick: .grabs some presents. Omg for me

Riley: wait it's nicks birthday

Host: Nicks birthday?

Nick: thank you guys your the best

Daisy: happy birthday nick

Mortimer: im starting to belive its no one's birthday today and Host believes ots his birthday and then he remembers and forgets and remembered and forgot and remembered and remembered

Riley: wait mortimer do you know it's happy birthday day

Mortimer: what?

Nick: happy birthday day happy birthday

Riley: happy birthday day

Nick and riley: happy birthday day

Mortimer: this is the weirdest day ever I didn't know this existed

Host: my favorite holiday

Riley: well obviously it's always on jan.25

Mortimer: really?

Host: wait today's the 25?

Riley: or the 26th or is it maybe march

Mortimer: . Pulls prank. Hey Host you have to do you taxes

Host: wait my taxes oh no

Riley: what taxes?

Mortimer: he doesn't have taxes he thought he did

Riley: oh

Mortimer: wait is he.. he's watching tv

Riley: thats not taxes . Trys not to laugh.

Host: oh oh hey how's its going

Mortimer: what are you doing

Host: I was watching tv you said

Mortimer: you know what-

Host: you said Host your fav tv show is on and I said ok ill go watch it now Mortimer bye bye

Mortimer: you know what I'm done this day has been crazy

[bakatenshii]

OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE AND PRETTY IM Truly Speechless. ANGEL OMGGGG IM EVAPORATING

DON’T EVAPORATE BUT IF U DO THE WIND CAN CARRY YOU OVER INTO MY ARMS PLZ HIKA I LOVE U SO MUCH MY WHOLE HEART?? PALPITATING FOR U, IT GOES BOOM BOOM FOR U HIKA ˉ̞̭(′͈∨‵͈♡)˄̻ ̊

[rattyoakenbitch]

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

warnings: language and lewd humor

eren -

you:

eren: Whats the matter

eren: Did some jerk off mess with you today???

you: yeah ,, you :/ stoopid idiot

eren: HUH??

eren: WHAT I DO

eren: YOURE TYPIGN SO SLOWBB

you: chill

eren: Youre telling me to chill? please.

you: u just forgot our date but :/

eren: DID I?

eren: Oh man )): im sorry y/n

you: not the doublechin emote pls </3

you:

eren: Why the weird animal memes all of a sudden

eren: Theyre not even funny

you: i said have a seat ,, dumb whore >:(

eren: Whoa who do u think ur talking to

armin -

you:

armin: BABY NO

armin: ILY

armin: I LOV U SO MUCH PLS UR DOING SO GGOOOD

armin: )))))))):

armin: IM SO PROUD OF U OHMYGOSH 💓💖💘💕💗💕💓💖💗💖💗💖💗💖💖

armin: ANYTHING U NEED IM HERE<3<3

you: HAABDHSHS ILY MIN UR TOO SWEET OMFG

you: i love u so much <3

you:

armin: of course i like you!!€℅¢{=;*(℅€{¢[>:(((

armin: wait what does peg even mean ?? :l

armin: like

armin: a pirate?

you: do i look like google to u mf :l

armin: wow okay brb then

armin: Y/N YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO

jean -

you:

jean: haha no idiot it means youre a guy that likes other dudes

you :/

jean: why is mario even in that photo 🙄🙄 isnt he gay for the red guy

you: OKAY FIRST OF ALL.

you: its luigi

you: and no that would be inc*st bae😩😩

jean: insect* stupid 😐

you: did the meme just fly over ur head or what

you:

jean: is that a bunny

you: do you even know how to read at this point

jean: yeah yeah

jean: i have that affect on people <33

you: no actually i take it back you sound like a horse

jean: fuck you

mikasa -

you:

mikasa: Y/N 😭😭

mikasa: Dont just say things like that

you: which one :•)

you: was it the b00bs lol

mikasa: Yes Y/N.

you: again, my hands are very capabl

you:

mikasa: We've been dating for nearly a year now Y/N

you: okay??? answer the question

mikasa: What question

you: will you be my soulja gurl😳😳❗❗💯

mikasa: Whats a soulja gurl

you: youre worse than eren sometimes

mikasa: Yes i will be ur soulja gurl 🙄💖

levi -

you:

levi: I don't have time for your childish antics, Y/N.

you: are you mad at me

levi: Not yet. Why?

you: youre ending your sentences with full stops ):

you: feels kinda mean but idk

levi: Grammar, Y/N.

levi: again, I don't have the time for your silly images.

you: HA YOU DIDNT CAPITALIZE THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SENTENCE

you: CAUGHT YOU LACKING SHORTY 😡😡🔫💯💯❗

levi: The fuck you just call me, brat?

you: s h o r t

you: 5'2 mf 😩😩✋

levi: It's almost as if you asking to get put in your place.

you: please i see that stool

you: ill put all the food on top of the fridge and hide the stool and theres nothinf you can do about it

levi: Oh?

you: yeah hobbit

levi: Nothing?

you: nu uh

levi: We'll see about that.

you: is the little baby threatening me

levi: You've just about pushed your luck with me, brat.

you:

levi: Are you being serious right now?

you: yeth </3

you: i have a crush on you teehee

levi: Y/N, I've known this for months

you: WHAT

levi: We've been together for a while. We sleep in the same bed. I call you darling. Need I say more?

you: SO YOU LIKE ME TOO?? :OOOOO

levi: I love you, Y/N. Now quit your weird behavior.

[dreamiehrs]

a Christmas miracle ➛ z.cl

genre: fluff, comedy/crack, bestfriend!chenle, gender neutral reader, hurt/comfort somewhat

pairing: zhong chenle x reader

word count: 2,588 words

warning(s): some swearing

summary: Christmas had been the same old same old holiday for you and your family for plenty of years now, fully embracing the tradition of meeting up with family, exchanging presents, and enjoying each other’s presence on Christmas day. however, this year seemed to feel quite different, with your family quite literally forgetting that Christmas even existed, and with you all stuck in your apartment alone in the snowy city, you weren’t so sure what you were going to do for Christmas this year. unbeknownst to you, though, your sneaky best friend had a trick up his sleeve, and he was determined to make this Christmas one you’ll remember forever.

note: this is a part of mylin’s @suh-insane​ and sunny’s @neocitybynight​ Walking in a Winter Wonderland collab! this is my first time participating in a collab solely for Christmas, so I hope you all enjoy this fic of mine! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I hope you all have an amazing and safe Christmas this year, and I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate and love you guys so so SO much! (and to the people who don’t celebrate it, I still hope you all have a wonderful day nonetheless!)

prompts chosen: “when we finally kiss goodnight how I’ll hate going out in the storm! but if you’ll really hold me tight all the way home I’ll be warm.” + “that’s what Christmas memories are made from. they’re not planned; they’re not scheduled. nobody puts them in their blackberry. they just happen.”

for the past few months, time seemed to fly by without leaving a trace behind, and before you knew it, it was already Christmas day. if it was any other year, you would’ve woken up earlier, around 6 AM to be precise, and start your trek to your parents house with their gifts in hand. however, since your parents and the rest of your family got caught up in other ordeals, and quite literally forgot that Christmas even existed, you had woken up quite later than 6 AM. 9 AM, if you were being specific.

you had still bought your family presents for Christmas, of course, and took the time to wrap them and spiffy them up yourself with various different kinds of Christmas wrapping paper you’ve collected over the years as a pro wrapper (in actuality, it was just your mother giving you extra wrapping paper when she accidentally bought too much, so you weren’t entirely a pro wrapper, per se). what you were trying to say is that you put a lot of thought into buying and decorating presents for your family, and you were sort of down about how you wouldn’t be able to give them their presents in person this year.

basically, what you were trying to get across is that you quite literally had no plans for Christmas this year, and you were probably going to spend your entire day wailing away in your apartment.

nonetheless, you pulled yourself out of bed after being in deep thought for thirty minutes straight, and decided to actually not wail away in your apartment for the rest of the day. it was time to be festive, you thought to yourself, as you slowly made your way around your room to move your curtains aside to let some sunlight seep in. although you were in a brooding mood, you didn’t entirely want your room to reflect that.

you huff to yourself as you slide your feet against the carpet floor, swinging open your closet doors and glancing over all of your clothes, none of them really catching your attention. you sigh before closing both of your closet doors dramatically, turning around and heading towards your dresser. you can faintly hear your phone buzz on your nightstand as you pull on one of the knobs on one of your dresser drawers that contains your pajama pants. you grab a random pair of snug pajama pants and opt to keep the same pajama shirt you wore to bed last night on before heading to the bathroom to change.

after taking some time to get dressed and brush your teeth, you finally exit your bathroom and toss the pajama shorts you wore last night in your hamper. you snatch your phone and stash it in your pocket before making your way towards your miniature kitchen. you promptly grab your kettle and fill it up with water, waiting for it to reach the third line before placing it on your stove. you move the dial until its exactly on high temperature, and you’re about to start to make yourself breakfast until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

fed up with how active your phone had been for the past thirty minutes, you finally fish your phone out of your pocket and lean against the counter next to your stove.

your phone contained the usual notifications, such as Instagram likes, Team Snapchat sending you a Christmas snap, your best friend chenle spamming your phone- wait, your best friend chenle spamming your phone? that was FAR from your usual notifications, and you were honestly quite surprised that he was contacting you on Christmas day this year. he’s usually spending it with his family all day, and never texts you back until he gets back home, which is around eight PM.

without thinking, you unlock your phone and tap on the messages icon, and your jaw almost drops when you see how many messages he sent you within the past few hours. since 6 AM, chenle has sent you over one hundred messages, and for once, you were grateful that you were a heavy sleeper, because if you were a light sleeper and woke up to every single one of his messages, you would’ve lost your mind.

you [9:45 AM]: please chenle what do you WANT FROM ME

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: WOW YOU’VE FINALLY WOKEN UP FROM UR DEEP SLUMBER

lele the dumdum [9:45 AM]: I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER GOING TO WAKE UP

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: took u long enough smh

you [9:46 AM]: ...is this really how you’re going to treat me on Christmas day??

lele the dumdum [9:46 AM]: I treat you like this all the time. what makes you think that today’s gonna be any different?

you [9:47 AM]: …

lele the dumdum [9:47 AM]: anyways… MY GORGEOUS WONDERFUL BESTIE WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY

lele the dumdum [9:48 AM]: DO ANY OF UR PLANS INVOLVE ME POTENTIALLY COMING OVER??? O.O

you [9:48 AM]: is this why you’ve been spamming my phone SINCE 6 AM!?!?!

you [9:48 AM]: also why were you awake at 6 am anyways

you [9:49 AM]: did your crush finally text you back or are you still drowning in loneliness like usual

lele the dumdum [9:50 AM]: I don’t even have a crush??? who told you that false information

you [9:50 AM]: the little elves running around my house whispered it in my ear last night

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: I think you’re going to delusional

you [9:51 AM]: I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case at this point

lele the dumdum [9:51 AM]: MOVING ON

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED

lele the dumdum [9:52 AM]: I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

you [9:53 AM]: me planning to wail in sorrow all day is very important to you??

lele the dumdum [9:53 AM]: ...excuse me what?? UR GOING TO WAIL IN SORROW ALL DAY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!?!?

lele the dumdum [9:54 AM]: this is not acceptable. I am coming over right now to spread some of my FESTIVENESS AND JOLLINESS with you :D

you [9:55 AM]: chenle you really don’t have to-

lele the dumdum [9:55 AM]: TOO BAD IM OMW RN AS WE SPEAK

you [9:56 AM]: at least bring some festivities, games, and snacks with you 🙄

lele the dumdum [9:56 AM]: oh shit you have a point

lele the dumdum [9:57 AM]: BRB ILL BE THERE IN 30

you knew that once chenle had made his mind up about something, he wasn’t going to change it that easily, so it would be futile to try and stop him now. you don't bother replying to his last message, and you shove your phone back in your pocket a few moments before your kettle whistles. you move on from chenle tormenting you for twelve minutes straight and make yourself some tea and breakfast instead.

it was now around 10:30 AM, and you had just finished digesting your breakfast when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket again. you were lying down on your small, beige couch, with your cold tea sat on the coffee table a few feet away. you were still in your pajamas, with no intent of changing into actual clothes anytime soon.

once again, you fish your phone out of your pocket to see what nonsense chenle was texting you this time.

lele the dumdum [10:31 AM]: open up, bitch

you [10:31 AM]: I thought I gave you a spare key??

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: shit I forgot it

lele the dumdum [10:32 AM]: anyways OPEN UP

you lazily lift yourself up from off of your couch, grasping your mug of cold tea on the way to the door. you take your time unlocking your door, halfly because you felt like annoying chenle, and halfly because you were just over today in general.

the first thing that stands out to you once you swing open your front door is how different your outfit looks compared to chenle. he was all bundled up with plenty of layers to keep him warm while adventuring the city, and meanwhile you adorned white and pink striped pajamas with socks on. you also noticed that he had a dark grey bookbag on his back, and was holding two full bags in his hands.

the two of you stare at each other for a few more seconds until chenle breaks the silence with: “I think this is the most I’ve seen you look like a complete old person. there have been other times, but the old person persona is just jumping out at me right now.”

you roll your eyes. “don’t say that when you yourself have dressed up as an old person before.”

“yeah, yeah,” he brushes you off, passing by you to slip his shoes off and to take off his five hundred layers. “it doesn’t matter whether you look like an old person, it mainly matters whether you have the spirit of an old person, you know?”

“I cannot comprehend your words this early in the morning. we can have a conversation about whether I act like an old person later.” you say as you watch him remove his large, dark green jacket and place it onto your coat rack. you can hear him scoff at your remark, and you grin as you see the corners of his mouth lift up slightly.

“early in the morning? y/n it’s only-” he pauses to check his phone “10:32 AM. that’s early for you?”

“I woke up at 9 AM, you dum.”

“oh,” he swivels around to face you after taking his shoes off and removing all of his additional layers. “makes sense, I guess. you’ve only been awake for an hour and a half, so you’re probably not fully awake yet. I mean, I’ve been awake since 6 am, and I’m bursting with energy compared to you.”

you give him a deadpan expression in response to what he said, and he can’t help but burst out laughing at your reaction. he steps up beside you and pats your shoulder gently. “well, besides that, I’m gonna be the one who helps you burst with energy like I am right now! follow me!” he whisper-shouts a few inches away from your ear, and you can feel his hand leave your shoulder and grasp your right hand in a matter of seconds.

he leads you back towards your couch, and even somehow manages to help you set your mug down even though he has bags in his hands. the two of you plop down on your couch, and you almost melt at how soft and comfortable your couch was. you closed your eyes for a few seconds as chenle rustled through his bags beside you, and you don’t know how much time has passed when chenle starts to snap his fingers at you.

“y/n, I am not going to deal with your sleepy ass right now. I spent around forty minutes scurrying around the city to find things to lift your mood, and I am not going to let those forty minutes go to waste just because you’re tired.”

you groan and roll to the other side, facing away from chenle. “just five more minutes…”

surprisingly, you’re met by silence in response to your wish of wanting five more minutes of rest, but that silence doesn’t last when you feel something cold touch your face.

you screech and immediately open your eyes to witness chenle pressing an ice cube onto your forehead. you swat the ice cube off of your forehead as quick as you can, and stare up at chenle like he’s gone completely mad. “what was that for?”

he grins proudly. his plan had worked. “awake now? great. now, help me figure out what we should do first.”

“I think you’ve gone mad. I cannot believe you just woke me up by pressing an ice cube onto my forehead.” you complain, still feeling the coldness of the ice cube on your forehead. when you finally move to face him now, you see that he had brought plenty of things for you two to entertain yourselves.

“I could’ve done worse things, like dip my hand into freezing water and press it against your face, but I was feeling generous today, so I decided to spare you the pain.”

you scoff. “right. anyways, what’d you bring?”

he glances at you excitedly before getting into it. “well, I brought plenty of snacks, some fizzy drinks, some board games, some movies I rented that we could watch together, some candy, etc. I honestly brought everything that I thought you would like with me, so I really hope all of this is enough to make your Christmas day a little bit more festive. I may have also bought you a present, but besides that… let’s get this party started! ...y/n?”

he tears his gaze away from the couch to up to your face, and you don’t entirely register that you’re crying until a few minutes after staring into his eyes. “oh, I’m sorry… I just… I’m just really grateful that you decided to come all this way to cheer me up on Christmas day, and you brought so many things with you as well to make me feel better so… thank you, chenle.”

he beams at you even though he can feel a tear threatening to fall from his left eye, and instead of letting you see him cry as well, he quickly wraps his arms around your figure, bringing you into a tight hug. “of course, y/n. you know I’d do anything for you, right? if you’re down, I’m going to cheer you up in some way, shape, or form, and if you feel like watching the world burn, then I’ll be right by your side.”

“awh, stop it, you’re going to make me cry even more.” you faintly hit his back with your hand, and he giggles as a few tears fall down his face.

the two of you stay like that for a good five more minutes, which is enough time for chenle to regain his composure and act like he didn’t shed a few tears in the process. he slowly leaves your grasp, taking a good look at your face and wiping some tears off of your face with his thumb. “you know what I think will make you feel better?”

you grin. “what?”

he smiles before swiveling around to rustle through his bookbag, and your eyes widen when you finally process what he’s up to.

the next moment happens so quickly you can barely register that it’s happening. chenle swivels around with two nerf guns in his hands, throws you one that lands perfectly in your arms, and declares: “me completely destroying you in a nerf gun battle will make you feel better.” before he releases fire on you.

you shriek as you run across your apartment, trying to avoid the plastic bullets that chenle was littering your apartment with. eventually, he does win the battle, and it does make you feel better in the end, but let’s not mention that or else his ego will run wild, alright?

[chimchimchoo]

Fly Me to the Moon :: Ch 1

Genre: Pure fluff crack

Word Count: 2,510

Pair: Yoongi x Jimin

Collaborated with @tayvengeance

Chapter: 1

"CHEER UP THIS SAD, EMO BOY!"

02-222-3333

Jimin stared at the note on the bathroom wall for a solid 5 minutes before he pulled out his phone and typed in the number.

authors note: we do not own any of the pictures, for better formatting so it’s more comfortable to read, check it out on AO3! AO3 link:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944508/chapters/34626863 Twitters: Tae’s Sujin’s <3 - Tae & sujin

Chat with Mochi_Moves

2015.11.15

14:00

Mochi_Moves:

Will this make you feel happier?

SUGA:

What the fuck

Who is this?

Mochi_Moves:

That doesn’t matter. Did the picture make you laugh? c:

SUGA:

No what the fuck

I think you have the wrong #

Mochi_Moves:

Aw :c

No, I just found this number and wanted to make you a happy emo boy!

SUGA:

Wait, who are you

How do you know I’m emo

Also it’s not emo

It’s grunge

Fuck you

Mochi_Moves:

But..I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name :c

Just call me Mochi

I’ll be your anonymous friend c:

Why are you a sad grunge boy?

SUGA:

Life is a bitch

That’s why.

Mochi_Moves:

Ohmygod, this poor soul

Who hurt you??????

SUGA:

Like i’m gonna tell a stranger my life story

Mochi_Moves:

But didn’t you know?

It’s easier to tell strangers

Come on c: c: c:

SUGA:

Add another smile to that and I just might strangle you

I’m kidding

But not really

Mochi_Moves:

:c

SUGA:

Now that’s a relatable emotion

Mochi_Moves:

Okay alright

I won’t pressure you

You can tell me tomorrow c:

Instead tell me something happy about yourself!

c:

SUGA:

I have mint hair.

I guess that’s happy?

Idk

Coloured hair makes me happier

Mochi_Moves:

Mint???? Wow!

I’ve never seen anyone with mint hair

That must look so cool *.*

SEND ME A PICTURE

SUGA:

No, what if you’re a predator

I’ve watched Catfish

I know how this shit goes

Mochi_Moves:

But I’m not! Just the hair

Pleeeaaassseee?

c:

SUGA:

Only if you tell me who you are

Mochi_Moves:

How do I know you’re not a predator either?

Maybe you’re the bathroom janitor for all I know

SUGA:

YOU’RE THE ONE WHO KNEW I WAS AN

EMO BOY

YOU MESSAGED ME FIRST

Mochi_Moves:

I just found it in the bathroom and wanted to

cheer up a sad grunge emo boy

SUGA:

Goddammit Hoseok.

He fucking put my number on the

stall wall again, didn’t he

I’m gonna fight him

Last time he did this, I got calls

nonstop

Mochi_Moves:

Hoseok?

JUNG HOSEOK??????

SUGA:

for a week.

Holy shit.

You know my arch nemesis?

Mochi_Moves:

Yeah! I dance with him!

He’s a great friend

Annoying sometimes…

BUt wonderful c:

SUGA:

Holy shit

You’re that Jimin kid he always

talks about

The revered dancer

“God, Yoongi you should see him. The way he moves his body is

the closest humans will get to magic.”

Mochi_Moves:

He really said something like that?? Wow, he’s really pushing it

Hah..

But you exposed yourself,

Nice to meet you Min Yoongi c:

SUGA:

That’s Yoongi HYUNG to you

Well, since I know you’re not going to prey on my gay ass

Mochi_Moves:

Ah, well

Two gay boys can be friends

c:

So don’t worry

I won’t be a gay predator

SUGA:

Fellas,

Is it gay to have gay friends

Mochi_Moves:

Let’s try it and see if it’ll answer your question!

c:

SUGA:

Well, I showed my face.

Your turn, punk.

Mochi_Moves:

I’m not a punk :c

According to Hoseok

I’m a soft mochi

SUGA:

Is that that Taehyung kid

He’s in my art class

I swear to GOD

Loudass motherfucker

But I guess he makes me laugh

Mochi_Moves:

BITCHDV

WATCH WOT U SAY BOU

M E

I KNOW WHE REY

YOU SIT

SUGA:

Holy shit he’s been reading over

your shoulder?

Hey kid, you’re wild. I admire it.

Especially when you got the fire alarm to go off

in the middle of free painting the other day.

Idk how you did it. You didn’t even leave your

seat.

Mochi_Moves:

I hav my ways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Next time i jasdskjf

Sdfgk

Sorry! Taehyung took my phone

When I left the room

But yes it’s the one and only

We’re roommates

c:

SUGA:

I see. So no hanging at your place.

Haha

I’m just kidding

Not really

But yeah

Mochi_Moves:

Oh, so you do want to

come over sometime then?

Is that what you’re saying?

c: c: c:

SUGA:

I thought we had bonded over being

Hobi’s friend

I thought WE were gay pals

Without it being gay

Mochi_Moves:

Ah, you’re right!

I thought maybe

You already went onto the next base

Im so glad it didn’t turn out like that

My best gay pal c:

Second to Taehyung of course

SUGA:

I mean, you are a handsome fella

But

I don’t uh, date, really.

Mochi_Moves:

Ahhhh, does your love life

have to do with you being a sad emo grunge boy?

A tragic backstory?

SUGA:

A tale for another time.

(like far beyond this time)

Hahaha

Mochi_Moves:

So like

tomorrow?

SUGA:

Someone’s persistent

Why do you wanna know so bad?

Gonna try to fix the depressed grunge boy?

Mochi_Moves:

You’re just an interesting person

Min yoongi

I’ll figure you out c:

SUGA:

That’s hyung to you, brat.

Chat with Mochi_Moves

2015.11.16

02:30

Mochi_Moves:

Did this cheer you up?

c:

He had too much soju last night

SUGA:

You all drank without me

What the fuck

Mochi_Moves:

I’m sorry :c

I’ll invite you next time!

It was a night out for the dance team

But it can just be us the next time

And I’ll bring taehyung

And hoseok

c:

You don’t want to be around the dance team

When they’re drunk

Trust me

SUGA:

I’ll take your word for it.

Mochi_Moves:

But did it cheer you up????

SUGA:

How can I not laugh at his dumb face

Mochi_Moves:

Just don’t tell him

He’ll make me do push ups for days

if he finds out I have this

considering he blacked out

and doesn't remember a thing

heh

SUGA:

I told him you found my number yesterday

He screamed

Then he sent me this:

And asked how gay I was for you

Mochi_Moves:

DELETE THIS NOW

!!!!

SUGA:

No. it brings me joy.

Mochi_Moves:

Yoongi

Whyy

:c

SUGA:

Hey, haven’t you been trying to make me

happy?

It worked.

Mochi_Moves:

That’s true..

My pain is your happiness

c’:

SUGA:

But I told him I wasn’t gay for you

AND THEN

He sent me this:

And said “how about now?”

I just need to know, what was the

occasion?

Mochi_Moves:

Why does hyung still have this

I swear

I’m going to go talk to this..

Brb

He’s in the other room

c:

SUGA:

Tell him I said thank you for our new

Kakao chat background pic

Mochi_Moves:

YOU DIDNT

MIN YOONGI

TELL ME YOU

DIDNT

SUGA:

Mochi_Moves:

That’s..heh

I don’t know what to say to that

Asdfhjkl

That was a performance I did a few years back

For a dance competition

Hoseok hyung begged

I didn’t want to

But i did anyway, it’s hyung

I can’t say no to him

I retired the exposed chest look

So don’t expect another one

C:

Ever

SUGA:

Not to sound gay or anything

But

You have a nice body.

Good job.

Mochi_Moves:

What about you Mint Yoongi?

What do you do?

SUGA:

Write/compose/play music

A lil art here n there

I’m skilled on the piano.

And I have some beats on soundcloud

Mochi_Moves:

Wow! I love a good artist c:

Have you released anything to music companies??

SUGA:

Uh...

Kinda?

Mochi_Moves:

You must be famous! Can I hear some of your work??

SUGA:

I’m about as famous as you.

https://soundcloud.com/bangtan/agustd103

There you go, I guess.

Mochi_Moves:

It sounds amazing!

You’re so talented

One day you could compose a song

For one of my shows???

How cool would that be?!

SUGA:

Woah, take me to dinner first

Mochi_Moves:

So are you asking for a date??

Mint Yoongi

We haven’t even met formally yet…

So fast..

SUGA:

You were the one talking about intimacies

Composing a song for someone is as

intimate as fucking them.

Mochi_Moves:  

Alright alright

Just gay best pals

Who’ve never met

c:

SUGA:

Well are you insinuating that we should get up

get out and go meet somewhere?

Mochi_Moves:

That would be a good start

Besides

Hoseoks been wanting me to meet you for forever now

I just never had the time

Let’s do it for the sake of this poor hyung

SUGA:

It’s a monday morning.

I don’t have class.

We’re getting coffee.

Also

Why is Hobi hyung but you REFUSE TO

CALL ME HYUNG

Mochi_Moves:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Meet me at the campus cafe at 10?

SUGA:

Yeah. Sounds good.

Chat With Mochi_Moves

2015.11.25

13:00

SUGA:

Hey

Heyyy

Heyyyyyyy

Jimin

Ji

Min

Mochi_Moves:

Mint Yoongi?

Hi!

What

What is it?

SUGA:

Did I leave my composition notebook

at your place? I can’t find it

And I’m honestly freaking out

I’m gonna have a panic attack

All my songs are in there

And some stuff I don’t want people

poking around in

Mochi_Moves:

Give me just a second, I’m walking back to my room

I’m almost there

SUGA:

Fuckkkkk

Okay

It’s okay

Mochi_Moves:

Oh goodness

Uh

I found it!

I caught Taehyung holding it, but I don’t think he read anything

I’ve never lurched at him so quickly

Do you want me to drop it off?

c:

SUGA:

Yes <3

Ew

That heart was so entirely

A you thing

Mochi_Moves:

Aw c:

You’re sending hearts now

SUGA:

Did it make yours go bangya bangya

Mochi_Moves:

Just a little

c:

SUGA:

That’s fucking gay wow

Mochi_Moves:

I’ll safely return your notebook now!

I’ll guard it with my life

And I won’t read anything

I promise

<3

SUGA:

Jimin

You’re a true hero

I might end up composing that song for

you if you don’t watch out.

Mochi_Moves:

You want to go to the next base already?

wow

I’m impressed

SUGA:

Don’t get your hopes up, sweetie

My emotional capacity is that of a

teaspoon.

Mochi_Moves:

If you triple the recipe, you’ll get a tablespoon

I just gotta triple my love

And your emotional capacity will go up

c:

SUGA:

Which girl group sang that

Bc that’s what you sound like

It’s pretty gay.

Mochi_Moves:

I live with a gay roommate,

I learn a lot of gay things from him

Now open up Mint Yoongi

I’m outside

SUGA:

I would yell @ you for not calling me hyung

But i want my damn notebook.

I’m coming.

Chat With Mochi_Moves

2015.11.27

02:50

Mochi_Moves:

Mint Yoondi

Min

T

Yonff

Ccd:

SUGA:

Wha

Are you drunk?

Mochi_Moves:

Yeff

Yessd

So muffh soju

Whaff aru yo u ding

SUGA:

Where are you?

Are you safe?

Mochi_Moves:

I jusf go t home

Tae t ae passef out

I wasa bored

And mussed u

SUGA:

You saw me like 7 hours ago

Mochi_Moves:

Oghmygo

Ohmydo

That wascd so lo ng ago

::(

SUGA:

Jimin

You should drink water and go to sleep

Please

For your health

Mochi_Moves:

Im

Im nof tierd

Ill  dinrk wahter though

Aru you still u p wrintinh musi

C

???/

SUGA:

As usual.

Mochi_Moves:

WHAt isi it about this tim e/?

SUGA:

My first love.

Mochi_Moves:

Fird love?

I neve r heARd anything abo ut your love life

Didi somethin rly happen to make u

An emo grunge bo y?

Can you ttell me about it??

SUGA:

Not when you’re drunk.

Ask me when you’re sober.

Mochi_Moves:

Ehehhehfdhe

You sitll won t share about yourself :c

I thoght we were best gay pals

I thoufht we got close enough to talk abuot these kind

Of things

SUGA:

Your hangover is gonna be nasty.

How about

I come over in the morning, bring some fire ramen

And tell you about me.

I just don’t want you to forget the conversation.

Mochi_Moves:

Wooooooooooow

minT yoon gi

The sweetest man

Fire ranen sounds

fantatiiiiiiifc

SUGA:

You bet your ass I’m the sweetest man

I’ll fuck up anyone who says otherwise.

Mochi_Moves:

Sweet as suga r

c:

SUGA:

Damn right i am

Mochi_Moves:

<3/

Chat With The.V.Zone

2015.11.29

15:00

The.V.Zone:

Lstn Yoongz

I saw your notebook

SUGA:

I figured you weren’t above snooping in my shit

Trying to figure me out

Or whatever.

The.V.Zone:

I was nvr a fan of you in the first place

Ill b honest

SUGA:

Understandable.

I used to find you unbearably obnoxious

The.V.Zone

I don’’t kno what my Chim has goin on in his head

But he’s all ovr u these days

And im gttn weird vibes

I dnt feel comfortable with this situation

Bck off a little

Chim is a sensitive soul

I don’t want any1 hurting him

SUGA:

Just curious, but what did you read

The.V.Zone

Smthn abt ur first love

SUGA:

Ah.

That’s uh,

I wrote that about my piano

The.V.Zone

Wut.

SUGA:

Look, my family situation was kinda

Eh

It wasn’t great

So I played piano and wrote music

And well

I fell in love with it.

I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever loved.

The.V.Zone:

…

weLL WHY DIDNT U JUST SAY SO

LOOK @ U

A SOFT EMO BOY FALLIN IN LUV

WITH A

PIANo

Wow u r so gay

SUGA:

My name is literally sugar, why are you all

so surprised to find out i’m nice?

The.V.Zone:

U always look rly grumpy

Like ur ready 2 kill someone

I dnt want my Chim around a murderer

SUGA:

It’s call resting bitch face and I’m sorry it

bothers you.

Jimin is a dear friend to me. I would never

do anything to hurt him.

The.V.Zone:

Well

If u say so

THEN BY ALL MEANS FEEL FREE 2 CUM OVR ANYTIME

But im not kiddin bout backing off

Chims mine

Furever

SUGA:

Wait, are you harbouring romantic

feelings for Jimin?

The.V.Zone:

Am i

Am i harborinfdsf

LMMAAAAAAAAOO

Ohmyg o d

Hyung

Ur so funny

Im crying

Oh dear god no

Im happily taken

But ty for ur concern

SUGA:

See, we don’t talk so I don’t know these

things about you.

Don’t worry

You still and will forever remain Jimin’s #1

The.V.Zone:

Good

But wait

What abt u

R u harboring feelings for my Chim??

SUGA:

…

I liked it better when we weren’t talking

The.V.Zone

Oh

O h

OH

I liked it better when we weren’t talking too.

BUT 2 LATE 4 THAT

SPILL THE JUICES

I WONT TELL I PROMISE

SUGA:

Every single fiber of my being tells me that

that is a lie

The.V.Zone:

:)

U dont kno me

SUGA:

Yeah that’s the problem

The.V.Zone:

Okay

Rmbr Jimin’s recent performance?

U 2 sick with the flu

And cldnt go

SUGA:

:/ I still feel bad about that.

He was so excited for me to watch.

The.V.Zone

Well

I hve pics

V good pics

If u tell me ill send them 2 u

U wont regret

:) :)

SUGA:

You know, I might have misjudged you, Kim Taehyung.

I apologize for that.

The.V.Zone:

U r forgiven

SUGA:

Well. I haven’t told anyone this

but

I have

emotions

regarding a certain person

named

Park Jimin.

The.V.Zone:

*sigh*

Some1 in luv

With my Chim

SUGA:

You throw the word “love” out so easily

I’ve only known him personally for like 2 weeks

The.V.Zone:

Gr8 point

Thats why ur perfct 4 him

An intellectual

I’ll deliver what i promised

Cherish these with ur lyfe

Regrettin that flu yet?

SUGA:

Holy shit

I’m gay

[tmhollandx-blog]

all the texts pls

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

[ text ] morning fuckhead rmbr that time u broke my nose

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[ text ] u intimidate the FUCK outta me

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

[ text ] BRB I SEE A DOG IN THE WINDOW OF THIS STORE SO NOW I HAVE TO GO IN AND PLAY WITH IT

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ text ] immmma just off  a building into,,,,,,,,, a trampoline,,,,,, into a pool

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

[ text ] sooooo, tonight this han doesnt want to fly solo, wanna come over?

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[ text ] i hope aliens kidnap me, i have so many questions

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ text ] NO OFFENSE BUT I HATE KYLO REN WHAT AN IMMATURE SELFISH DOUCHEBAG

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[ text ] you ever eat something and you’re like “god damn this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me”

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[ text ] i think i might have just broken the law unironically and now i feel like crying

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[ text ] can’t wait to do press with you asshat

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ text ] what was carrie fisher like?

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ text ] IM GETTING ICE CREAM FOR DINNER AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME OTHER THAN MYSELF EXCEPT I WONT STOP MYSELF ILL JUST REGRET IT IN THE MORNING AND OVER PUSH MYSELF IN THE GYM

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ text ] you ever think people only want to meet us on the street to get closer to rdj? 

[ text ] LMFAO sorry that was for someone relevant aka ANYONE in the mcu

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text. 

[ text ] manchee

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: Born Again, Part 2

Last time I covered the first three issues of Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli’s “Born Again.” Now it’s time for the second half of the story, which...honestly is kind of a mess. Oh well!

When last we left our hero, he had suffered a complete mental and physical collapse after losing his home, savings, girlfriend, and legal license due to Fisk’s maneuverings. He would have died were it not for the timely intervention of a mysterious nun, who brought him back to her church and nursed him back to health.

Meanwhile, Karen, still fleeing Fisk’s assassins, hooks up with a guy traveling to New York and trades him sexual favors for transportation and coke. Matt’s AWOL, what with his house blowing up and all, but she gets in touch with Foggy:

FOGGY COULDN’T KEEP MATT SAFE BUT HE’S SURE AS HELL GONNA KEEP KAREN SAFE. <3 <3 <3

Meanwhile, Matt slowly recuperates under the nuns’ care:

Matt connects Maggie with the mysterious nun who visited him as a child and realizes that she’s his mother. Though there’s never a scene where she’s like “Okay I lied I’m your mom,” after this it’s basically just out in the open between them (though she doesn’t appear very frequently).

Also, Matt with a full beard is [fire emoji] [fire emoji] [fire emoji]

Matt has work to do, so he puts his filthy garbage-bed clothes back on and checks in on his supporting cast. Ben has killed his story revealing that Matt was framed out of fear, but he eventually decides he needs to publish it. However, as soon as he attempts to, Nurse Lois tries to kill Doris:

Yes, that’s Matt’s arm coming in to knock Lois out in the bottom panel - he’s been following Ben. He hides in another room while Ben gets Doris down and then realizes he’s been saved - and Ben’s savvy, so he knows right away by whom.

Meanwhile, some of Fisk’s heavies have been trying to get Melvin Potter to make a replica Daredevil suit as part of a convoluted plot to draw Matt out of hiding. Melvin’s not sure what to do, so he calls Ben:

Ben’s even more terrified to talk now, of course.

Matt visits Melvin and tells him to make the suit - he’ll make sure no one gets hurt. (Like 10 people wind up dying. Great job, Matt.)

And here’s where everything converges: Karen’s ex-“boyfriend” tracks her to Foggy’s apartment to get her back. Meanwhile, Fisk has broken a violently insane criminal (again, this story isn’t the greatest with mental illness) out of an asylum and furnished him with a Daredevil suit. The idea is for him to brutally murder Foggy and thus discredit Daredevil as well as Matt, while simultaneously taking away one of Matt’s few remaining connections.

One thing I appreciate about the way Mazzucchelli draws Karen in this - and it’s ridiculous that I have to note this, but it’s comics - is that she’s never sexualized. She’s a porn actress and sort of an unofficial prostitute, but she’s never drawn to look “sexy.” She looks ill and malnourished and terrified all the time, because she is. Too many artists would have taken this as an opportunity to put her in fishnets; Mazz draws her like she’s dying.

(That’s Wesley driving the car in the bottom panel, btw. I think he might die in this scene? Almost everyone dies.)

Anyway, Foggy calls the cops, but Karen, desperate to save him, hits him over the head with a lamp to knock him out and goes downstairs to meet Paulo. They’re attacked by Fisk’s hitmen, who have been told to kill anyone who emerges from the building. The cops who’ve arrived on the scene fire back, as does Paulo, and the fake Daredevil starts for Foggy’s apartment.

And then Matt, who’s been following Wesley and the fake Daredevil since they picked up the suit at Melvin’s, steps in:

Matt has a hell of a memory for smells, apparently.

Anyway, the hitmen and the cops and Paulo all take each other out, going down in a hail of bullets, and Matt and Karen race into each other’s arms:

What a gorgeous page! What a beautiful catharsis! It’s not at all marred by the fact that Matt should honestly be totally baffled by Karen’s sudden presence there. Seriously, it works so well emotionally even though it doesn’t quite work logically.

And, well...the story should end there, honestly, but we have two more issues to go, and here’s where it kind of falls apart. Matt’s relatively okay again, so is Karen, they’re reunited, the threats are gone...we should be done, right? But we’re not.

We start with another beautiful splash page in bed, but this one’s very different:

Karen’s confession and Matt’s forgiveness happen off-panel, described in the narration boxes here, and Matt’s response is basically “Eh, no worries,” which...like. I love Karen. I love Matt and Karen together. But she sold his deepest secret for a fix and left him disbarred and homeless. He nearly died! She and Foggy and Ben and Doris nearly died! Glori and Maggie will nearly die! Dozens of other people have died and will die before this story is over! It’s lovely that Matt forgives her but considering the grudge he bears for Foggy after all of this for...undisclosed crimes??? it’s a little pat.

Also pat: Matt appears to basically hug Karen through withdrawal. I appreciate how raw and painful the art makes it look, and how steady and loving he is, but here’s where the timeline gets slippery, and makes you wonder about the earlier timeline. How long was Matt out of it? How long did it take Karen to drive from an undisclosed location in the enormous country of Mexico to New York City? How long does her recovery take? Part of what makes the first three issues of the story work so well is that they’re so rapid-fire and claustrophic, with both time and space compressed to tiny ranges. You give it too much room to breathe and the reader starts going “Wait. It’s not over? How much more is left?”

Anyway, Foggy, bless his soul, is still trying to clear Matt’s name, and so is Ben:

This always reminds me of that meme where Person A is complaining loudly about Person B while dropping dozens of photos of them. Seriously, though, why do you have those glossy Harrison Ford-looking 8 x 10s of Matt in your briefcase, Foggy?

Honestly Foggy’s emotional reaction here doesn’t make a ton of sense, when you look at the events: 1. Matt’s apartment gets blown up while Matt is in serious legal and financial trouble. 2. Matt disappears for...weeks? Months? Unclear. 3. Karen shows up with a drug addiction and an abusive boyfriend. 4. Karen knocks Foggy out. 5. Foggy wakes up to find Karen gone and like eight people dead in the street outside his house, including said abusive boyfriend. CONCLUSION: Work on Matt’s appeal? FOGGY. WHAT.

“Matt’s always been kind of high strung.” brb dying

Ben thinks Glori’s got what it takes to work for the Bugle, so he takes her with him to talk to Nurse Lois, now in jail for her attempt on Doris’s life. However, one of the other reporters is a plant by Fisk, there to kill her before she can testify against Fisk:

Lois is killed, but Ben saves Glori. They’re both pretty shaken up by it, but they’ve got some damning evidence now.

Meanwhile, Matt is working as a short order cook at a Hell’s Kitchen diner.

Yes, really:

HILARIOUS but also, how much time has passed here? This is too much downtime, it doesn’t work.

Fisk, enraged by Matt’s continued ability to evade him and stay off the grid, plays his final card: he calls in “Nuke,” a deranged super soldier whose violent killing moods are triggered by red pills. (This is who Simpson from Jessica Jones is based on, btw.) Nuke, convinced he’s back in Vietnam, starts shooting up Hell’s Kitchen:

Matt changes to Daredevil and just barely manages to take Nuke down, but then the Avengers show up:

This is great art, but you see what I mean? Now this is a story about the toll Vietnam took on young American men? (I mean, Miller’s a baby boomer, everything he writes is a little bit about that, but still.) There’s a super soldier blowing up the Kitchen? The Avengers are here? TOO MUCH, FRANK. I get that what’s happening here is that Fisk loses his temper and allows his perfect, subtle trap to fall apart as he attempts to swat a fly with a sledgehammer, but narratively it just feels like an excellent four-issue arc with a weird two-issue coda that shares none of the same themes.

That’s Glori in Steve’s arms, btw. She and Karen are both injured (but fine) and taken to Maggie’s church where their boyfriends can fuss over them:

This really isn’t a significant page but I couldn’t bring myself to cut Matt’s little smile there as Foggy rushes past him (presumably while “The Way We Were” plays in his mind - actually, he looks downright Redfordian there). IDK why Matt’s like “Alas, Foggy and I are No More” - it’s another emotional note that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Meanwhile, Steve decides to investigate this whole Nuke thing and discovers that he was an attempt to replicate Captain America, of course. Again, see what I mean? Why is Steve a point of view character, suddenly? Why is this about a military conspiracy? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLAUSTROPHIC GRITTY NOIR?

Nuke breaks out and attacks Hell’s Kitchen again. The military deploys soldiers to stop him this time, and despite Steve and Matt trying to subdue Nuke non-fatally, one of the soldiers shoots him. Matt desperately tries to get Nuke to medical help before he dies so that he can testify:

No dice. Nuke dies...but his body is still evidence, so Matt takes it to someone who can do something about it:

The religious themes are mostly gone by now, but note that Nuke is in an inverted version of Matt’s pose from the beginning of #4. Matt was miraculously alive, though, while Nuke...well.

With this, plus Glori’s photos from Rikers and from Nuke’s attack on Hell’s Kitchen, Fisk’s empire starts to crumble:

He doesn’t go to jail, but his veneer of respectability is gone, and he becomes the most famous criminal in America. As appearances are very important to Fisk, he’s furious. His only consolation is that Matt must be equally miserable.

...Or is he?

Aw, they’re in love. There are still many threads left untied, mostly having to do with how Matt and Karen are unemployed and squatting in a Hell’s Kitchen tenement, but look how happy they are! Let’s call this a happy ending. Daredevil doesn’t get very many of them.

And that, my friends, is Born Again. Next up: Ann Nocenti and Typhoid Mary!