#IF YOU DONT RIDE THIS DICK IMMA DIE HOW HARD DO I GOTTA SHAKE MY ASS FOR YOU?!?

[mamamittens]

If I actually committed to making a Naruto OC (or even a version of Nikia) there's a non zero chance she'd take care of birds (maybe there's an animal contract or whatever) and everyone thinks she's just being weird about them.

*Sparrow trills for a solid minute melodically*

*Nikia, blushing with a horrified expression whispering furiously*

"you can't just say that!!!"

She does fuck with people but in actuality, those bird are fucking foul beaked (lol, puns) and any Intel she tries to give has to be Super Filtered because it's always So Bad what they're saying.

Sometimes she takes a moment to figure out what was actually useful in a string of expletives.

They're very honest and good spies, but DAMN do they have a fucking MOUTH.

Depending on how much I hate myself, I'll give her wings again for that verse too. I'm Too Attached to the variety of affection that can be given with wings lol

Also depending on how weird I wanna make it, they're pervs too, but it mostly depends on if I wanna think too hard about birds finding humans fuckable. I mean, ostriches do, but idk about every other bird. Oh! Funnier thought, their idea of fuckable is WILDLY DIFFERENT from the canon pervs (ie, colors, movement, and if they have good resources, they don't give a shit if the human has a pretty face or a giant rack). So like, Kakashi would be striking for his hair but his Depression Apartment instantly gives him Negative Bird Rizz and that's before the dogs.

Also, yes, this IS your fault @cebwrites for reminding me Naruto exists.