#IF I FIND OUT THERES A WAY TO MAKE IT DARK IM GONNA BE SO PISSED OFF.

[bedforddanes75]

i need ao3 dark mode right now its 3am im being blinded just let me read my gay people

[rudylloyd]

lmao what the FUCK did I miss, dsaf fandom??

[elliespeach]

the air that i breathe | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ "because i can make it quick, or i could make it so much worse." ´ˎ˗

synopsis: a camping trip you and ellie embark on takes a devastating turn. with you in the hands of raiders ellie's sanity is brought to her breaking point and she will stop at nohting to get you back. wordcount: 8.3k + warnings: 18+ ellie n readers headspace is very dark!! depression, panic attacks, horrible desperation, and lots of trauma responses that are vividly described. graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, reader is confined in a cell by chains, food/water deprivation, hallucinations, torture (reader by raiders, ellie to the raiders) ellie is basically santa barabra ellie but multiply it by thirty n reader is like trapped in the dark so i think that counts as claustrophobia. this fic can b very triggering so pls take the tags seriously!! different povs (ellie n reader) they are seperated for most of this fic, theres some fluff in their dreams but thats truly as soft as it gets author note: pls pls read me!! this story came to me randomly, its not a traditional fic in my eyes but i hope u guys like it nonetheless!! the name comes from the show bridgerton, one of violets lines towards her husband and i was like THAT is true love so here we are :) theres a lot of in game elements to this story on ellie's part so i hope i did that justice :)) i'm a lil nervous to post this im ngl so pls be kind and lmk if yall like it plsssss i beg of u i wanna make this a multi part fic esp w the way it ends so any feedback will be appreciated!! ily guys enjoy

ellie’s pov 

– three days after the kidnapping

the first thing ellie hears is the low, familiar voices of joel and tommy. as their mumbled conversation rings through her ears, her head throbs. a groan escapes her lips, bringing her hand up weakly to rub it as if it would help. ellie opened her eyes slowly, the pain intensifying from the sun shining through the windows. her vision came to focus, looking around it was the infirmary in jackson. she was laid down in one of the beds and when her eyes landed on joel and tommy, they looked at her sympathetically. 

joel took small steps toward her, barely able to make eye contact. “how ya feelin’ kiddo?” he asked, painfully sitting himself down at the end of her bed. ellie wasn’t able to read him clearly, and then she started thinking. why am i in this bed? her mind raced and it must’ve been obvious to her company because joel spoke again. “it’s gonna be okay.” 

she frantically searched through her foggy mind, everything was so blurry and out of order. she thought of you. the only thing that came to the front of her mind with ease. the camping trip, she thought to herself. she saw you in her head, all bundled up in the sleeping bag and wearing ellie’s shirt. her lips began to curl at the ends before she realized you weren’t here by her bedside. she remembers leaving the tent that night, for what reason she doesn’t know, but you stayed behind, cuddled up in the sleeping bag.

thats when– your scream. it echoed in her head, taunting her. the quiet forest that surrounded the two of you amplified your terrified scream and ellie’s face grimaced at the memory. she knows she ran to you, why was i so far away from you? her brain was waking up and with it, horrible images flashed in front of her. the tent that had been cut open, the rusty old pick-up truck, the men that had you in their grasp, the last glance ellie had of you before the bud of a gun was slammed into her head. it all came flooding back in an instant. 

ellie looked up at joel, tears brimming over her eyes. she spoke in a low voice, but despite the tears that fought to fall, her tone was flat. “where is she?” 

joel was quick to answer, “we’ve been tracking them–” 

“how long have i been out?” she boomed, trying to sit up but her brain pounded against her skull, forcing her back down in the bed. joel moved up, sitting closer to her but couldn’t find the words, his heart ached for ellie. he looked to tommy with a solemn expression, and his little brother stepped forward. 

“it’s been three days, ellie,” tommy vocalized softly. “we’re doin’ all we can, i promise.” 

“obviously it’s not fucking enough!” ellie shouted, pinching the bridge of her nose and shutting her eyes tight. you came to mind when she did, usually she pictures you happily; picking a flower and tucking in her hair, taking a nap on ellie’s couch with your head in her lap, posing while she drew you. you were the spitting image of innocence in her mind. but as her eyes shut now, all she could see was the absolutely heart-wrenching image of your face as you were thrown into the truck. 

her eyes opened almost immediately, unable to see it even for a second longer. her cheeks became wet as the tears poured out of her, her breathing became erratic and she clutched her chest. joel was quick to comfort her but it only did so little. “we-we have to fi-find her,” ellie managed to speak through panicked breaths, feeling her chest about to burst. 

the pain in her head was nothing compared to this, and it almost felt non-existent in the face of you being gone. being with them. whoever they are, whatever they want with you. they should have taken me. it should have been me. it should have been me. it should hav–

“ellie, breath–” joel cooed next to her, rubbing her back and removing her from her thoughts. “we’ll find her.” 

“i’m co-coming with you,” her chest was still heaving and she felt like she’d never breathe right again. not until you were standing next to her. 

tommy sighed, barely audible over ellie’s apparent panic-attack. “you’re on bed rest, kid. i’m sorry. but we will bring her back to you.” 

his words felt like daggers and she was quick to respond. “if you think for one sec–” 

“it’s not up for discussion, ellie.” joel interjected, his voice was soft but stern. and ellie scoffed through the tears, looking at joel harshly. 

before ellie could spew a rant to him, tommy spoke, “we think they’re on the border of utah. were going tomorrow at first light and when we come back she will too. okay?” 

ellie’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, and as her breathing became somewhat normal she was able to think. play it cool. “o-okay,” let them think i won’t go anywhere. “my head r-really hurts. gonna sleep for now,” she mumbled, pulling the blanket up and over her head. she laid with her back turned to them and she felt the bed move beside her. joel and tommy mumbled another string of words to each other before ellie heard the door creek open. 

“rest up, kiddo. she’s gonna be okay.” joel said to her sympathetically and ellie remained quiet under her covers, plotting her escape. 

she slept for another few hours. she knew she had to wait until night time anyway, there was no use in staying awake and plaguing her thoughts with what is happening to you. but as she slept her mind played horrible tricks on her, she dreamt of saving you that night. brutally slaying the men who had dared to even think about touching you, their blood stained her dreams but at the end of it you were in her arms. 

when she woke up alone, her reality came crashing back down. it forced her to sit up, ignoring her head that was killing her slowly. there was no night time infirmary nurse and she knew now was her only opportunity to sneak away. the clock on the pale blue walls read one in the morning, jackson was asleep. the only people she would need to avoid were night patrols, and the guards around the armory. 

she hauled herself out of bed, her feet dragging on the cold floor and she located her bag. her clothes from the camping trip were tucked inside and she quickly changed. ellie tried to picture the men’s faces, and all that came to her were figures whisking you away. she decided it was best to not think about it, but it was a lot easier said than done and she found herself shaking her head frequently to rid the images from her mind. 

slipping out of the infirmary was easy, a small house on the corner of a dead end street. the streetlamps had been turned off by now, saving power and ellie easily made her way towards the armory. she approached in a crouch, hiding behind a bush in the shadows. she watched as the guards were laughing, telling stories and all around not paying attention. the armory was a larger building near the stables, the guards were circled around a makeshift booth at the front.

sneaking to the side of the building she tugged open a window and crawled inside. she loaded herself with her usual rifle that she took on patrols. taking it down from the wall she stared at it for too long, remembering the day she taught you how to shoot.

���all you have to do is point, aim and–” 

“if you say point, aim and fire one more time.” you laughed at her, your attention shifting between the gun and ellie. 

“i’m just trying to help you, pumpkin.” 

instead of making her feel soft and warm, the memory made her go cold. she couldn’t place you, your face was a cloudy mess in her mind but your voice rang true. her eyes glossed over, hearing your laugh in her head and all she could think of what she would do to these people once she found them. in a haze she stuffed supplies in her bag, a surplus of ammo for her rifle and pistol and then some. she removed her switchblade from her bag and put it in her back pocket for easy access, throwing a trench knife into the backpack just in case. 

she was almost back of out the window she came in when she realized the trip was going to be long, and she had no food in her bag whatsoever. sighing, she looked around. the left over food from the guards littered the small counter to the side of the room. sandwiches and nuts and ellie figured it would have to do and before long she was sneaking to her usual spot in the fence. 

the walk to it was familiar, she had done it with you a thousand times. it was a loose panel of wood that to the unknowing eye would be a secured fence, but with a gentle tug, it gave way. ellie and you had discovered it one day, and it quickly became your get-a-way whenever one of you wanted to escape the confines of the walls. there was a small over-look just beyond the wall, about a ten minute walk from jackson. ellie had drawn you there with the landscape behind you, the picture is hanging on the wall in her garage and she cherishes it like it was gold. 

she pictured you there, trying to remember how peaceful you were to her. like the calm in the storm that was her life. all she could conjure was that night so she dropped it and viciously bit her cheeks with frustration. ellie came to the broken piece of wood, taking a quick look around before pushing it and then herself through the gap. the forest beyond was still and quiet. peaceful almost. putting the board back in place, she turned and headed for the highway. 

readers pov

– day of the kidnapping

the last you saw ellie she was falling to the ground as she came up to your campsite. the man who had been hiding behind the tree knocked her out with a swift blow to the head. you cried out, thrashing in the hands of the man who had lifted you from the ground. “fucking let go of me!” you shouted as your world tumbled around you, you fell into the bed of the truck with a hard smack, pain shot up your spine and you groaned, rolling over. 

the man jumped up onto the back of the truck, making it wobble with his weight. you crawled backwards instinctively, your eyes darting from him and your motionless girlfriend on the ground yards away. your stomach turned as he pulled his fist back and there was nothing you could do before he brought it down heavily onto your skull and everything went black. 

while unconscious, your mind brought you back to ellie’s room. her stereo playing softly as you sat on her bed, watching her read the same book she always did. her eyes scanned the pages as if she had never seen it before. she was laying on her stomach, legs dangling over the side of the bed as she flipped the pages. it was a book about the constellations in the sky and every so often she would show you a page and say it reminded her of you. “this one–” she showed you, a cheeky smile on her face as she turned the book towards you. 

“that just looks like lines, els.” you chuckled at her while you examined the page. you never understood her when she spoke about space, but you liked to hear her ramble. her voice was so comforting to you and it always brought you back down to earth. 

“no, no, pumpkin, look–” she pointed with her fingers on the page, outlining the stars. “its cassiopeia on her throne. d’ya see it?” her soft green eyes met yours, a hopeful look in them. 

you didn’t see it, you just saw lines on a page but ellie’s enthusiasm poured through her and who were you to deny her of it. “yeah, i see it,” you lied, getting closer to get a better look hoping it will just come to you. “why do you say that?” 

“dunno,” she shrugged, looking back to the page. “but it says here she was a queen, so i think that’s why.” 

her words always left you feeling like the most special person, and to ellie you were. you playfully hit her with a pillow, causing a mildly loud “ow!” from her. 

“you’re so fucking cheesy,” you smiled, hitting her again with the pillow. as you brought it down on her she grabbed it. ellie moved quickly and sat on her knees as she struggled to take the pillow from you. she looked down at you, back against the bed and giggling so sweetly. she was able to snatch the pillow, throwing it to the side and leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“you love it, shut up.” her words bounced off your face and she pulled her face down to be directly in front of yours. her eyes stared into yours and you could see just how much she loved you on full display within her green eyes. she leaned in to kiss you and as her lips brushed against yours, the world around you melted away. 

you felt cold and you could swear your eyes were open but you couldn’t see anything. you felt around, the ground beneath you was solid and ragged and as you moved you heard the clanking of chains. moving your hands down your legs you sensed the frigid metal that encased your ankle, following the chain with your hands to a bolt in the wall. 

the walls had the same texture as the floor and you began to panic. you recounted the last memory you had, ellie laying on the ground. the man punching you in the face. reaching up to touch your sensitive skin, a sharp pain came from your cheek and you gasped. incoherent curses came stringing out of your mouth that quickly turned to yelling. you shouted for ellie, her name bounced off of the walls around you and with every call unanswered the hope inside you diminished. the darkness was over-bearing and you were forced to picture every horrible thing these people could do to you simply just because they could. your voice, that was still begging for ellie, became hoarse. a lump settled in your throat from wailing and you felt sick to your stomach.

you knew none of this was helpful. the screaming, the wailing, but you couldn’t help it. the emotions poured out of you until there was nothing left, ellie could be dead and you were locked up god knows where. you hadn’t even begun to think of why they had taken you, your head was too jambled to think straight. and after what seemed like hours in the black void of your cell, a dim light flickered on and came peeking beneath a door you didn’t even know was there. it illuminated the room just enough to see that cement encased you behind the metal door. 

with a click of a lock the door opened and the sudden light hitting your eyes made you jump, shielding your face with your hands. you heard footsteps approach you slowly but stop a few feet away. a cold hand came up to your forearm and you swung, trying to keep whoever this was away from you at all costs. but their cold hands grasped your arms, forcing you to look upon them. the dim overhead light in the next room outlined the man in front of you, you couldn’t make out a face but he was brutish, and he smelled like a campfire. 

“don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” the man growled, the taunting in his voice was sinister.  

you used all the energy you could to spit in his face and he recoiled, letting go of your arms to wipe his face and he took a step back. “fuck you!” you snarled, spit leaving your mouth with the anger that boiled inside of you. 

he chuckled as he wiped the remaining spit from his face, “we could have killed you, ya know?” the man muttered, taking small strides towards the metal door. his hand reached for the wall, turning on an overhead light in your cell. looking around, it seemed to be a basement. you could see stairs past the door to the cement room and as you peered through the door, the man repositioned himself in front of your face. 

you didn’t say anything and his head cocked to the side as he knelt in front of you. “but we didn’t, do you know why?” his tone was antagonizing and as your eyes adjusted you could make out his face, a large scar was centered by his nose as if he had been cut. you shook your head at his question, not wanting to speak. also because your throat stung from the previous screaming. 

“well,” he looked to the side, using his hands on his knees to hoist himself back up to his feet and he towered over you. “i would have told you but–” he motioned to his face, still glistening from your spit. “maybe tomorrow.” his words were fast, he turned on his heel and headed for the door. 

in a panic you lurched forward, arm out and you tried to stop him. your ankle tugging on the chain as you reached for him.“wait, please don’t!” came rushing out of your mouth but it was too late. the light was switched off and as the door shut behind him, you were enveloped in the darkness yet again. 

— four days after the kidnapping

the black void of your cell had become never ending. after the man with the scar left, the only time anyone would open the door was to give you as little food as possible. keeping you weak and unable to fight back, but alive just enough to do whatever they had planned. if you had been told you were here for a week you would have believed it, time moves weird in the dark and you never knew what time of the day it was, if they were swerving you breakfast or dinner– you had no idea. 

at first you tried to stand, to pace around and get your body moving. after a while it became too repetitive and you fell to your knees, tired and disoriented. you hadn’t moved an inch since, just laying curled up on the floor with your back to the door. the only thing that kept you occupied besides sleeping was reliving memories, playing them over and over again in your head. they were all of ellie, her freckled face and auburn hair and that stupid constellations book. 

she was your every waking thought and even slipped her way into your dreams. ellie was the only thing keeping you from going completely insane in the darkness. you could picture her so clearly, but when you thought about her voice it never sounded right. you were only able to hear it in your dreams, but when you woke it slipped away like water in your hands. traceable, but not recognisable. you made it your mission to remember, a small controllable goal in a situation so far out of your hands and it provided a sense of comfort. as much as it could. 

you were tracing her name over the cold ground beneath you, whispering it softly as if it was a crime when you drifted off once again. it had become routine and a sure fire way to make sure she was in your dreams, her voice and all. this time your dreams planted you in the memory of watching her favorite movie together, curled up on the couch with your head in her lap and her hands playing in your hair. 

“don’t get attached to her,” ellie said casually above you, pointing to the small tv. you groaned, looking up at her and her innocent eyes met yours. 

“you spoil every movie, els.” you say with a fake annoyance in your voice, playfully swatting at the hand pointing to the tv. 

“i didn’t say what happens to her!” her hands go up defensively, looking down at you in her lap. her face had been speckled with sun freckles from the previous day, leaving it absolutely covered from her chin to her forehead. even her eyebrow slit had a few small dots in it, and you found it hard to be annoyed with her. 

turning your attention back to the movie with an unsure mhm, your eyes left hers and for a moment there was silence. and ellie couldn’t help herself, she mumbled, “exceptshetotallygetschoppedinhalf.” 

you sprung up, your head leaving her lap, positioning yourself next to her on your knees. swiftly you propelled her down and straddled her torso. dramatic gasps left her mouth and she placed her hands on your hips, looking you up and down. “you’re gonna pay for that, you know,” you said to her, cupping her face with one hand. 

“i’m soooo scared, pumpkin” she teased, and as the words left her mouth it was like someone had pressed the mute button. her lips moved, and she was definitely talking but her voice was gone, like it had blown away in the wind. the nickname you cherished so deeply from her inaudible and as you realized this your eyes snapped open. the darkness was back, and ellie was gone, along with her voice. 

you tried to cling on to it, but the harder you tried to remember it, the further it went in your mind. if you weren’t so dehydrated, you’d be crying and thrashing around, desperately hoping for her voice to come back to you. but instead being too weak to do anything, you pulled your legs up to your chest and laid in the silence. you didn’t know how long you had been asleep, not that it mattered anyway, but your stomach was feeling emptier than ever before so it must have been a while. 

remnants of your dream flashed in your mind and your hand placed itself on your face as ellie had always done, imagining it was her. imagining her coming to save you, her holding you. every thought that consumed you was her. she can’t be dead. you repeat to yourself like your own little mantra. she isn’t dead.

time shifted again and you heard footsteps coming down the stairs beyond the door. the metal door clicked and opened as it always did, but instead of food being thrown at you in the dark, the lightswitch flicked on. your eyes nearly burst from the pain after being in the dark for so long and you covered them with your hands. “ready to talk like a civilized person?” the raspy voice spoke and you removed your hands from your face, squinting your eyes until they adjusted. 

you nodded slightly and the man with the scar sighed, “good,” he crouched in front of you and you locked eyes with him, anger filling you up head to toe but you fought against it. “where’d we leave off, huh?” 

“w-why you took me,” your voice was small and you realized you hadn’t actually talked in days besides muttering ellie’s name to yourself. 

“right!” he exclaimed loudly, making you jump as it echoed off the walls. “you seemed valuable, at least to that girl,” as he acknowledged ellie, your face lit up and you hung on to his words. “so we figured, you’d be a good bargaining chip for food and whatnot.” 

the nonchalantness in his voice made your skin crawl and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. “and you think giving me back like this will get you what you want?” you asked, your voice slowly returning. the man looked down on you with a smug expression. 

“if they want you back alive, yeah. i do. we’re gonna send a party to your town to give them our demands for you,” his finger grazed your leg and you snaked it back. the chains rattled as you did and a chuckle came from him. “we just need to know exactly what you people got.” 

worry swirled around inside of you and you knew what ellie would do in this situation, so you remained as strong as you could, picturing her in your mind. “i’m not telling you anything–” 

“it’s your choice,” he sighed, reaching into his back pocket. he pulled out a small knife and it was too similar to ellie’s for your liking. “just know you can change your mind at anytime.” with that, his knife pierced your skin and your screams filled the room. 

ellie’s pov

— five days after the kidnapping

ellie had been traveling on foot for two days now. her head still ached with the concussion she suffered and her feet felt like they were on fire with every step. everytime she felt like stopping, a foggy image of you would cross her mind and she would keep going. she only stopped when she was practically falling over, hours after the sun had gone down.

by the second day, her legs were giving out on her. she stumbled into the underbrush to the side of the road, falling to her knees and then flat on her stomach. too exhausted to eat and sleep came easy to her. she knew it would only be an hour of sleep but she physically couldn’t go any further tonight. so she embraced sleep, knowing it would only make her nightmares surface yet again. 

tonight her nightmare seemed to be a complete recollection of that night. she was in the tent with you and you rambled about a book you had borrowed from dina. ellie was rifling through her backpack, looking for the constellations book. she had promised to show you cassiopeia on her throne in the night sky, but her book wasn’t in her bag. “i fuckin’ packed it,” she said mindlessly, dumping her belongings out onto your sleeping bag. 

“it’s okay, we can find it without the book.” you reassured her, a soft smile on your face as you did. 

“no, there was– ugh,” she sighed, accepting defeat. you looked at her, a puzzled expression on your face that she couldn’t quite see. “i had something for you, it was in the book.” 

“i’m sure whatever it was, i’ll love it when we get back just as much.” you leaned up, planting a delicate kiss on her lips. ellie’s worry washed away and placed a hand to your cheek when you pulled apart. 

 thats when the silent forest came to life. animals could be heard sprinting between trees, and the birds caulking as they were so rudely woken up by whatever had scared them. ellie’s head turned to the opening in the tent and you grabbed her arm, forcing her to look back to you. 

she saw the usual cloudy mess instead of your face, but in her dreams it seemed to be normal. she sat up, rubbing the arm that clutched hers before she spoke. “probably just a runner, i’ll be right back.” she kissed the top of the blur and felt the grip loosen around her arm. 

“be quick–” you whispered to her as she left the warm tent into the chill air. ellie looked around the campsite, not seeing anything but the noises of the animals still alarmed her, so she expanded her search. 

she had wandered down to the small creek about twenty yards from you, hoping the sound of the rushing water had attracted the infected but there was none in sight and as she turned to make her way back to you, and the night you had planned, your shriek came barreling through the trees. 

not hesitating for a second, ellie was running. her fists pumping at her sides like a madman, she didn’t have time to think about what could possibly be tormenting you, but when she bursted into the campsite and her eyes locked on you, thrashing in the grasp of a random man, her heart sank to her stomach. your face was no longer blurred, she could see every detail that made your face so perfect but your terrified expression haunted her and the gun coming down on her head sprung her awake. 

the sun hadn’t risen yet and her surroundings were still dark. she pushed herself off the ground, not wanting to go back to sleep until you were next to her. coming from the trees that lined the highway, she kept going. the little rest she got was enough to propel her forward and while she walked her mind wandered. it wasn’t long before the sound of morning birds snapped her out of a haze and as she looked up from her feet she saw a welcome to utah sign. it was still dark, probably the very beginning of the morning and ellie noticed smoke coming from the trees just behind the sign. 

not hesitating she moved closer, taking her steps slowly and lowering herself to the ground, she pushed past the trees and saw the makings of a camp. a giant fire roared in the middle of all the people sleeping around it. her eyes landed on the man to the left, furthest from the horses and a picture flashed in her mind. he laid there peacefully, but ellie recognized him as the man who had knocked her out. and suddenly her thoughts halted themselves and her feet moved for her. 

knowing she could never take all of them at once, especially as exhausted as she was, ellie decided on a different plan. starting with the woman closest to the horses, she positioned herself right next to her and grabbed the knife she had placed in her pocket. ellie’s hand covered the womans mouth and her eyes opened harshly. without a second thought, she sliced the knife along the neck of the panicked woman. 

the fires crackling was enough to mask the sound of her blood gurgling from the wound. the woman grasped at ellie desperately trying to save her own life but her movements soon slowed, her arms falling to her sides. removing her hand, she moved on to the next one. watching as the life drained from him as well as he struggled to alert his friends. ellie had gone glossy eyed, and if she was being honest she wasn’t in full control of her actions. her mind only had one goal, and these people stood in her way. they caused this. they deserve it. 

blood spattered onto her face while she glided the switchblade across the neck of the third man, once he had stopped fighting back and his eyes were staring blankly up into the sky ellie locked her own eyes on the final man. the one who had prevented her from saving you, now that it was only him left she stomped over to him. as she approached him, her chest was heaving and blood dripped from her face.

she stood over him for a moment, watching as he slept peacefully. cocking her head to the side, she kicked him harshly in the stomach. immediately he rolled over, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. ellie drove her foot into his now exposed back and he cried out in pain yet again. despite his pain, the man tried to get away. crawling on his hands and knees as quickly as he could, he only made it a few feet when the sound of ellie’s gun cocking made him stop in his tracks. 

“turn around,” ellie grunted, her breathing more heavy than before. the man did as he was told, and as he did his eyes widened at the sight of ellie, covered in blood, sweat and dirt. they wandered past her, looking upon his dead friends and his hands raised to the side of his head. 

“take it all–” 

“you remember me?” her voice was low, hushed even and as the terrified man studied her face his eyebrows raised slightly, and ellie’s lips threatened to curl at the ends. “yeah, you remember me.” 

the man remained quiet in his realization and ellie’s gaze directed itself at the paper poking out from his pocket. the fire illuminated the camp just enough to see it was a map and she motioned her gun towards it, “you’re gonna show me exactly where she is.” her voice was flat but firm. 

“i can’t do that–” his voice trembled and his words were cut off by ellie moving closer to him, her gun now directly in his face. 

“you don’t have a fucking choice!” she shouted, ripping the map from his pocket while her gun remained closely trained on him. she laid it flat on the ground, crouching down to his level and staring him down. he shook his head feverishly, terrified of ellie but even more concerned about her finding their base. while he refused to speak, she had grown tired of waiting and with her available hand took her switchblade and dug it deeply into his thigh and twisted with all her strength.

he wailed, losing balance on his knees and falling to his side. ellie removed the knife, wiping it clean on her jeans before lowering her head to him. “you’d better start fucking talking.” 

the gun was still pointed to his face and he looked at her with disdain, “i’m fucking dead anyway why would i tell you anything.” he said breathlessly, trying to cover the hole in his leg with his hands and failing miserably. 

“because i can make it quick,” she twirled her switchblade in her fingers, grazing it over his cheeks as he winced back. “or i could make it so much worse.” 

“fuck you!” he spat with all his might and ellie dug her knife into his arm, sliding it down while it tore open his flesh. his screams filled the woods around them and in a desperate attempt to save his life, he reached for her gun. 

it pointed up and ellie fired at the sudden scramble. the man tackled her to the ground, pinning her down and fighting to take the gun from her hand. in the tussle, her switchblade fell from her grasp and landed a few feet away. in a panic she fought for the gun, kneeing the man in the stomach as hard as she could but he remained firm on top of her. her free hand swung up, knocking him on the head and his grip on the gun loosened. as she yanked it back, it slipped from her own hands and fell to the ground. while he was stunned from her punch, ellie managed to throw him off of her. she rolled around, looking on the ground for her gun but it blended in so well with the dirt and sticks she couldn’t see it. 

taking a quick look back to the man, he had picked up a rather large rock and tried smashing it down on her head. ellie moved, nearly missing having her head bashed in and she noticed her blade glistening in the now rising sun. she army crawled as the man grasped at her legs to pull her back. her fingers fiddled with the handle before she was able to firmly wrap her hand around it. as she did, the man dragged her back towards him and while he tried to position himself on top of her, ellie plunged the switchblade deep into his chest. the crunch of it piercing his sternum confirmed it was a deadly hit and she watched as he lost any hope to stay alive. 

his mouth hung open in shock, looking down to the puncture wound and his hands went to grasp around it. his legs straddled ellie’s torso, allowing the blood that poured from it to fall directly onto her. the man coughed and instead of spit, blood spewed from his mouth staining his teeth in the process before he fell over beside her. ellie didn’t move, her breathing erratic from the fight. 

the man gurgled on his own blood for a moment before it got quiet again, the woods silent as ever except for her heaving breaths. her hands fell to her sides and she gazed up to the sky, the stars still burning brightly above the trees. all of her exhaustion hit her at once like a truck and she fought to keep her eyes from closing. right before she thought sleep would consume her and she would have to relive her worst nightmare all over again, she saw the makings of a constellation. at first, it wasn’t recognizable, just another clump of stars in the galaxy. but when it clicked in her mind, she propped herself up on her elbows and the tiredness melted away. it was cassiopeia. 

that was everything she needed. ellie got up with a new surge of energy, taking the map with her and anything else she could find useful. she strode away from the grim scene on their horse, following the map to the first exit off the utah highway. with the horse, the rest of the journey seemed like light work. it was only an hour before she spotted the fences to the community. 

tying the horse to a hidden tree for a get-away, she circled the small town. the fence was chain linked and she watched inside as the town woke up to start their day. ellie was able to see that only a small amount of people woke up this early, leaving the streets barely occupied. 

staying in the shadows, she slipped under the fence that was poorly secured. she found herself in between two small houses, ellie could make out mumbled words from the street so she moved up, making sure to stay as close to the wall of the house as possible. 

“....hopefully they will come back with the stuff by tomorrow.” a woman's voice could be heard, ellie dared not to peek around the corner and listened further to their conversation. 

“we don’t even know if they have anything, we could be chasing a dead end.” ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as the second voice spoke. she figured they were talking about the group she had slaughtered, but could jackson be the dead end they were speaking about? is that why they wanted you?

“just gotta hope for the best, i guess.” the woman spoke again before her footsteps could be heard walking away. ellie’s body tensed up, quickly her mind showed her the haunting image of your face and she shook her head, focusing her eyes around the corner. she caught a glimpse of the woman walking down the sidewalk, leaving the man to stand in front of the house alone. he was reading a note intensely and ellie took a look around to make sure her coast was clear. 

she came up behind him, swiftly covering his mouth and dragging him back between the houses for cover. she ripped the note from his hands and used the bandana that had been around his head to cover his mouth and threw him to the ground. while she examined the note, her pistol was focused on him keeping him in place. 

residents be advised that your council is doing all they can to provide for you. we are currently bartering with a town in wyoming for food, and unlike last time, we are sure they will be more than happy to provide.

ellie balled up the paper in her fists, scoffing and throwing it beside the man. “the girl, where is she?” ellie hissed at him, keeping her voice low. he mumbled through the bandana and she rolled her eyes. “don’t fucking scream, you can make it out of this.” she said before pulling the bandana down. 

the mans eyes were wide with fear as he looked upon ellie, but he spoke fast and quietly while darting his eyes between her and the gun. “i don’t know about a girl, i really don’t plea–” 

ellie shook her head before snatching his wrist in her hand, bending his finger back and he winced. “okay, okay okay,” he rushed out, feeling his finger about to snap. “our hunters, they came back a few days ago with something they wouldn’t tell anyone about,” he paused, looking at ellie and her grip loosened. 

“keep talking.” she ordered him and he stammered his words, trying to desperately abide by her rules. 

“usually they bring the meat to the kitchen but-but they parked the truck outside of our leaders house, said it was nothing but it didn-didn’t look like nothin’.” 

ellie moved the gun into his neck, nuzzling it right below his ear and his breathing hitched up. “where?”

“go left do-down the street, the truck is old you can’t miss it!” ellie knew the truck all too well and without another word she removed the gun from his neck and he breathed a sigh of relief. 

“thanks–” ellie whispered as her switchblade lodged itself in his neck. he didn’t scream, just looked at her wide-eyed as he tried to stop his neck from bleeding. ellie didn’t wait around, his blood still bubbling as she walked away, turning left down the street. 

she was careful, she moved down the street hiding behind cars, bushes and whatever else she could find. when she was starting to think the man had given her bad information, the truck came into view. it was parked blissfully in the driveway of a quaint looking house. she found herself climbing through an open window on the first floor, escaping the street and its peering eyes. ellie landed in the living room of the house, it wasn’t decorated, the walls were blank and the furniture looked like it was rotting away. 

that's when she heard voices coming from upstairs, she almost ascended the stairs herself but the voices were coming closer. she hid behind the dusty couch as the stairs creaked and found herself in the company of two men who had no idea she was eavesdropping. 

“we already sent the group, why do you need more from her?” the raspy voice uttered, a hint of annoyance laced in his tone. 

ellie heard a long sigh, “because they could become our primary suppliers. as long as we have her, they will give us whatever we want. for as long as we want.” the second man spoke with a heavy country accent and her blood boiled, she stopped herself from jumping the two, instead listening for more information. 

“she wasn’t very forthcoming the first time–” 

his voice was cut off, “well fuckin’ make her. i told you whatever it takes.” another sigh filled her ears, and she wasn’t sure who had done it but feet were stomping away and she glanced around the couch. she witnessed a bald man opening a door down a dark hallway, while the man who had the accent went back upstairs. her brain was split, but she knew they wouldn’t have kept you upstairs so she followed the bald man with the raspy voice, opening the door silently and descending the stairs that were behind it. 

the end of the staircase opened up to a dimly lit basement, it was unfinished and dirty. she caught a glance at a metal door at the opposite end of the room before turning her attention back to the bald man, who was crouching down beside a workbench. it was lined with tools, but ellie knew what they were for. so as fast as she could, she approached him. he was barely able to turn around before she tackled him to the ground. the man was big but being caught off guard helped ellie as her hands gripped around his neck. 

she put all of her body weight into his neck, he was choking and failing his arms around at ellie. it didn’t phase her, even when he had slapped her across the face in his panic. her face was contorting with all the exertion and she stared down at him, never breaking eye contact. a scar was slashed across his face and she recognized this as the man who had thrown you into the truck, the image coming to her clearly. his eyes were bulging from their sockets and his legs were kicking with a passion but as ellie came to this realization she jerked her hands down, the applied pressure breaking his neck under her hands and he immediately went limp. 

in a cloudy haze she stood up, catching her breath and looking around for a key. she practically threw everything off of the workbench in front of her and when she didn’t find it she moved back to the man on the floor. she dug through his pockets and her fingers found a small metal key. 

she walked towards the metal door slowly. now that she was here, she was terrified of what she would see behind the door. she put the key into the lock and turned, earning a click. she breathed out all the air in her lungs before pushing it open and her heart was beating faster than she had ever known possible. the room was dark, and seemed empty. the light from the other room allowed her to see a small switch on the wall and she flicked it on, now fearing you werent even here. 

but you were. the light came on and your hands flew to your face shielding your eyes. ellie’s eyes immediately brimmed with tears seeing you. she took a step forward, taking off her backpack and laying it on the ground beside her. you were so obviously injured, puncture wounds up and down your legs with dried blood surrounding them. the chain around your ankle had almost embedded itself in your skin, resulting in a horrible looking bruise that had worked its way up your leg. ellie breathlessly said your name, tears falling from her eyes and your hands moved from your face slowly. 

your eyes weren’t adjusted, you just saw a blurry figure in front of you but you could have sworn you heard her voice. the voice that had escaped you every time you tried to hold on to it, and you thought your brain was playing a cruel prank. “please don’t,” you uttered quietly, fearing she was the man with the scar coming back to torture you more. 

ellie dropped to her knees in front of you, looking at your battered body not able to form words. they had broken you, and she blamed herself. anger brewed inside of her but in this moment, she remained soft spoken. “it’s me,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch your leg which you snaked away, still not believing she was actually there. you believed you were so desperate to see her, to hear her, that she materialized out of thin air. but that meant you were truly losing your sanity and you could barely look at her. 

“its not you–” you said back to her, looking to the floor and ellie’s eyes shut tightly to hold back anymore tears. you had backed up all the way to the wall, leaving ellie in the center of the room. she slowly moved to you as you watched her from your peripheral view.

she came up in front of you, “it’s me, pumpkin,” and placed a hand to your shallow cheek as she always had done. 

feeling her warm hands on your face, you met her eyes. her warmth couldn’t be your imagination and your own eyes welled up as she dragged her thumb carelessly across your cheek. her appearance didn’t even phase you, all you cared about was her. “ellie,” you sighed, shutting your eyes and placing your hand on top of hers that cupped your face. “you’re actually here?” your voice was small and faint, and it felt like ellie was stabbed in the heart. 

the blur that ruined her memories of you was gone. even the image of you being whisked away was gone. she scanned your still perfect face, it’s only faults being sunken in from hunger and bruising that littered your cheeks but it was still perfection to her. she felt more relief than she had when she killed the man in the woods, and the bald man that still laid a few feet away. you were here in front of her, finally.  ellie couldn’t help but smile at you, all her efforts hadn’t been in vain. 

“i’m actually here,” she repeated to you, connecting your foreheads together. “i found you.” 

ellie leaned back, inches from your face. her voice rang in your ears and you felt like you were floating with every word that came from her mouth after missing it for so long. you managed a smile for her. she was so close to you that you had barely seen the figure towering over her from behind, your mouth began to form her name to warn her but it was too late. the figure smashed ellie over the head and she fell unconscious beside you. 

[theninth09]

ive been looking at liams room for funsies. as one does, right. anyway im gonna talk about what his room looks like in season 4 first. (please excuse the ugly fucking filter i put over the pics, i wanted to be able to actually see things and teen wolfs lighting is.. like that)

i find it interesting that they put a picture of a woman (im assuming its a woman?) with a surfboard and an actual surfboard in his room. does this imply that liam has an interest in surfing? i mean, he does live in california... i dont know where exactly beacon hills is located as it doesnt actually exist and i know nothing about surf culture, in california or otherwise, in general. i dont think this means liam knows how to surf or anything but i thought it was a fun detail. maybe he just likes the aesthetics. i personally often like to connect him to ocean/beach imagery so this makes me very happy.

another detail is that next to the picture of the woman at the beach is a picture of what im assuming is a model in a "sexy" outfit and pose holding a soccer ball. considering he gets together with hayden, who plays soccer, the next season, this was just kinda funny to me. apparently liam likes girls who play sports. also, on the floor behind mason theres a soccer ball as well. feels really random since liam is only really interested in lacrosse, but i guess he likes sports in general?

theres more posters above his bed:

you can see the one saying "blood brothers" better here. its pretty obviously a lacrosse thing, based on the guys in their jerseys and the sticks they're holding but i couldn't figure out what/who exactly it is. perhaps some players that liam likes/looks up to? no idea if they actually exist or if its just a random picture of lacrosse players.

even further up theres another poster of a woman in a bikini/underwear. lovely that they portray liam as this stereotypical teenage boy with half-naked women on his wall. personally i think its really funny. theres a few other posters but its simply too dark for me to be able to tell what they are. i think the one right above the blood brothers one could be lacrosse related as well? not sure.

other than that, theres not that much interesting to see. his closet is a literal cage which?? sure, why not. apparently he likes to wear caps as he has four of them hanging off of it. his closet actually changes in s6 to a regular dresser which you can very briefly see.

this is in no way serious but my friend cody and i came up with a silly little interpretation for this. his closet in s4 is a cage, but its also see-through. hes in the closet (not out about his bisexuality yet) even though its quite obvious (see-through closet.) pre-s4, brett and the lacrosse team put him in a cage at the zoo and hit him with lacrosse balls = he feels like an animal, a monster, he represses who he truly is. his last name is dunbar, like the bars of a cage; hes caged in by his past and his biological father. and in s6 he has a regular dresser: he manages to break free, he grows closer with theo... he comes out of his cage/the closet. again, we're not actually serious about this. this is just for funsies.

moving on. back to his room in s4. heres shots of his desk:

we could already tell that his pc is on the opposite wall of his bed due to his and masons position when playing video games, but theres definitive proof of that. his pc and printer on his desk and what seems to be a tv? to the right over there. theres a few more posters too, one of what seems to be a.. mountain bike? motor bike? something like that (i guess liam really is a fan of anything sport related.) i cant really figure out what the other posters are of, sorry. although theres a few framed pictures and just pictures attached to the wall as well, which i think are supposed to be of him and friends and/or family. the last interesting thing to me here is that theres at least three trophies on his shelves. lacrosse? or did he play soccer before his step-dad introduced him to lacrosse... i guess we'll never know.

thats it for s4, now lets look at the things that change for s6. his bed and the chair next to it are like the only things that stay the same.

first off, all his posters are gone and replaced instead by two framed pictures (which just look like generic decor to me) but theres also small pictures tucked into the window frame/attached to the wall. cant tell what exactly they are, but to me this seems like pics of him and his friends/family again. hes got a few new lamps, the red table that used to be his nightstand is now just a regular table where he puts stuff (it looks like the same table to me at least.) theres a corkboard on his wall, but we didnt get a good shot of that wall in s4 so maybe thats not new.

boring stuff, lets move on to slightly less boring stuff!

the door behind scott is interesting to me. one, this lets us know that liam has a bathroom adjoining his room (since the scene of mason and liam in s4 starts by the camera "entering" liams room through his door on the exact opposite side of his room.) two, the door changed. if you look back at the s4 pics, theres the door as well but it has glass panels instead of being solid wood like in s6. now, im aware this was just whatever department is responsible for making a set like that forgetting/not caring/etc and thats why the door is different. i dont fault them for that, i dont think anyone else has payed this much attention to it like me.

but! this allows me to speculate about canon reasons for that change. and me personally... i think it would make a lot of sense for liams character if he accidentally destroyed the door during an outburst. punching is one of liams common reactions when he starts struggling with his anger: he punches the wall when he's stuck in the well in s4, in s6ep12 he punches the locker until its dented and hanging off of the hinges after brett provokes him on the field, he punches the wall instead of nolan at the zoo. theres more than enough events between s4 and s6b where he could've destroyed his door, but it also just could've been a regular outburst due to his IED. either way, his door got replaced.

i wonder if liam is familiar with the difference between feeling glass splinters and wood splinters being stuck in his skin. i wonder if theres a constant ache in his knuckles. i wonder if when he calmed down and saw the aftermath, he panicked because his parents didnt know about him being a werewolf and how was he supposed to explain a broken door but no injury on his hands to match? i wonder a lot about liam dunbar. anyway.

lets talk about something lighthearted and fun: video games! i ignored the guitar (that you can see leaning against the wall behind scott) until now, because its not an actual guitar. its a guitar hero controller made to look like a black-white fender stratocaster. meaning, liam just likes to play guitar hero, and doesnt actually play the guitar. im still taking this as a win since i personally headcanon that he has a huge interest in music. (also if you're wondering how i knew that its a controller: my captain's friend is in a band and figured it out in like a minute. he says you can tell because of the black pad in the middle. shout out to him.)

heres another shot from s6, which also shows us that his room is a lot more boring now. why did they take his shelves and only give him those four lousy boxes omg... whatever. take a look:

thats mortal kombat. they're playing mortal kombat!!! im pretty sure its mortal kombat ll but gladly correct me if im wrong. i got extremely excited when i recognized it being MK because i made another post about thiam & video games and, unknowing that he canonically likes MK, claimed that its one of liams favorite games. anyway, we know that liam plays cage because the screen says "cage wins" and in the scene mason and liam talk about liam winning. which makes the way they're sitting really funny. it'd make more sense if liam was on the right, yknow, in front of the character hes playing as. ah well, tv logic. fun stuff.

one last detail and then im done yapping. first pic is from s6, the second one is from s4.

these look like xbox controllers to me. i dont have much more to say about that other than pointing it out. liam prefers xbox over playstation, good to know.

[jeon-ify]

1, 16, 19, 32 Yeosang!! *runs and hides*

woah. you are a mastermind. im gonna have fun with this one

1. “open up, baby”

16. “stop fucking crying”

19. “yeah? you get off on me talking down to you?”

32. “you belong to me, understand?”

————————————————————————————

you belong to me- yeosang

this morning, you woke up to the sound of no one. each room in the house was empty, curiosity rising from your chest. you’d triple checked every room, your closets— nothing.

yeosang was no where to be found. you called and texted, but no answer.

an hour or so later after contemplating on whether to give up or not, you pick up your phone and text again, in hopes he responds this time.

————————————

y/n: baby? where’d you go?

y/n: ur not picking up 🫤

y/n: at least leave me on seen

y/n: did i do something wrong?

y/n: ur scaring me sangie :/

y/n: was it because i braided hwas hair?

*seen just now*

y/n: bro.. theres no way

y/n: ur mad cus i-

y/n: nevermind

sangie 🧡: on my way home. u better not have any clothes on or i’ll rip them off. understand?

y/n: i understand

sangie 🧡: good girl

———————————

you never thought that braiding seonghwa’s hair would be such a problem to your boyfriend, since you already asked and made sure it was okay with the both of them.

“hwa, stop moving or it’ll hurt—“

“then fucking hurry up its only three little pieces” he whined to you. you’re really not hurting him, but he just likes whining.

“i’m sorry!! i’m just trying to make them neater.”

yeosang sits across the room, watching the two of you whine and yell at each other. the smirk that plasters over seonghwa’s face is what makes yeosang’s stomach flip and twist in jealousy. yeosang was never ever the jealous type, but when he was, it was dangerous for the both of you.

he glares at you and you swear you saw smoke coming out of his ears. he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his black nike sweats, and your phone dings twice.

sangie 🧡: just wait.

sangie 🧡: are you enjoying yourself?

sangie 🧡: bet you wanna fuck him and pull on his hair dont you

sangie 🧡: bad girl.

he slides his phone back into his baggy pockets, taking a deep breath to calm himself from the scene happening before him.

he stands up, walking over to the bowl on the counter in the kitchen where his car keys were. he starts his car, puts on his slippers and leaves the house; slamming the door behind him.

“someones jealous.” seonghwa snares.

“shut up.” you smack the back of his head, as you knew he was being petty.

“ow, dumbass. didnt you ask him if you could braid my hair already? its for a music video. he’s so fucking petty.”

“yeah, but if you keep looking at him and fucking smiling of course he’s gonna get mad and think you wanna fuck me or some shit.” you argue. you knew seonghwa had heart eyes for you since the moment you met him through yeosang. you hung out for dinner, seonghwa tagging along since he was bored out of his mind.

yeosang made the mistake of trusting seonghwa around you.

————————

you hear the door unlock and keys jingling around the knob. you run upstairs to your room before the door could open, saving yourself the hassle of yeosang carrying you and tossing you across the room.

“baby, i know you’re home. where are you?” you hear his deep voice rumbling throughout the dark home, as you sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for yeosang to find you waiting for him.

you hear his footsteps coming closer to the room, his breathing picking up as your breath hitches in fear and excitement at the same time.

he shoves the door open, being met with you at the end of the bed, cheeks flushed red and your heavy breathing ringing in his ears. he drops his wallet, phone, and keys onto the dresser as he turns back around and grabs a fist full of your hair. he pulls your head back so you’re looking up at him. he towers over you with his hand tugging and squeezing at your brown locks.

“i shouldn’t even be looking at you. but you’re fuckin’ lucky im nice to you.” he groans. he comes closer to you, prying at your lips, pushing and pulling, almost placing a kiss onto your lips. you scoot your face closer to his as he pulls away. he swipes his tongue vertically across your lips, as you sigh in relief that he finally touched you.

“open up, baby. gonna fuck that little throat of yours. you know your safeword, but i doubt you’ll use it, fuckin’ whore.” he takes his painfully hard cock out of his sweats as your throat becomes dry. you lose all words and all thoughts. you open your mouth, sticking out your dry tongue far enough for yeosang to shove his entire length down your throat.

“there you go, baby. now imagine seonghwa fucking your throat like this— fuckk, so warm.”

he’s relentlessly fucking your throat while your spit and his precum pools at the base of his cock. you scratch and grip at his clothed thighs, his neck veins pulsing and his arm muscles tightening against themselves.

“gonna cum in your throat, y/n. swallow it all like the good little bitch you are.” he groans— you could cum just from his filthy words alone. he watches the way your bare thighs wriggle and press together whenever he says things like this.

he pulls you away by the back of your neck after spilling his load down your throat. you stick your tongue out, moaning an ‘ahh’ sound so he could see that you swallowed completely. “fuck, look at you. dirty slut. bet you like when i use you like this.”

he watches the pool of tears flood your eyes from how overly pleasured you are. he mocks you, watching the way you sob and whine for him to just touch you and fill you up the way you need.

“sangie, please just fucking touch me, ‘been so good-“ he cuts you off as his heavy hand lands a sharp slap on your right cheek.

“good? you giving seonghwa ‘fuck-me eyes is good? you playing with his hair and laughing ‘n shit with my fucking friends is good?” his eyebrows furrow as he yells at you.

he’s not angry, but he’s disgusted that his friends would do such a thing, trusting them around you and wanting to build that bond with all of you.

“im sorry, daddy. just wanted you to fuck me.” you argue and plead him to just fucking do something. his large hand wraps itself around your throat as your tears spill down your cheeks to his fingers. you’re not sad, you’re intrigued by his possessiveness, thus making you so overly pleasured and excited, you decide to cry— turning him on as he loves seeing you weak before him.

“stop fucking crying. i didn’t do anything to you and you’re already cockdrunk. do you deserve to cum tonight?” he slides your panties down in one go with one hand, spreading your legs and shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth.

“suck. get ‘em all nice and wet so i can touch you where you want.” you suck and spit around his fingers while he fiddles with your throat.

“fuck— i can’t take it anymore, just fuck me please, daddy. please please please!” you moan as he rams his fingers into your sopping cunt

“i asked you a question. what do you do when i ask you a question, darling?”

“a-answer.” you manage. you don’t know how but words finally managed to leave your mouth.

“exactly. so, do you deserve to cum?” he caresses your cheek, giving you a kiss on your forehead. he’s acting gentle and kind to you, but this is the calm before the storm.

“no, i don’t.”

“and why not?” he questions.

“b-because i was touching your friend.”

“you got it, baby. you finally know common sense. now when i fuck you, don’t try to run from me. you belong to me, understand?. not seonghwa, me. turn around, and let me fuck your tight cunt.” his voice gets gradually louder when he claims you, the veins in his neck becoming prominent.

you get on all fours before him, ass up as your face is buried in his silk navy blue pillow. the cold sensation making you feel way above the clouds as yeosang undresses and runs his slim and long fingers through your folds before sliding his thick cock inside of you.

“i understand, daddy. you feel so fucking good. s-so big!” you moan. you feel like such a pornstar right now, being open and exposed for the man before you.

“look at your legs already shaking, wish i could get this on video and send to seonghwa so he fucking knows— fuck— that you are mine.”

he groans and brings his hand to land a slap on your ass cheek, eliciting a deep moan from your throat. he moves his warm and muscular arm to put you in a headlock, white stars and black clouding your vision.

his muscles contract around your throat, cutting off your air supply as he feels you clenching around his length, gripping him like your life depended.

“daddy— fuck— call me a whore!” you moan and cry out as he pounds you ruthlessly and probably the fastest you’ve ever been fucked.

“yeah? you get off on me talking down to you? nasty whore.”

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want yeosang to put a baby in you, just so you could be full of him. truthfully, you both werent ready for a baby, but you just wanted to walk around with him inside of you forever, everywhere you went.

he groans and moans in your ear as you feel him twitching deep inside you. you cum around his length, his thrusts becoming quicker and harder, you feel him chasing his orgasm.

“gonna put a fuckin’ baby in you. so seonghwa knows who you belong to. walk around the house with my seed in you, you’d like that, wouldn’t you, y/n?”

“yes- fuck, please please please~” you moan again, arching your back up and down, as yeosang pulls you onto his hips, as you feel him reach a spot he has never reached before, making you squirt and stain his satin sheets.

“made a fuckin mess. look at you. let this be a warning for the next time you touch or look at any of my friends, hm baby?”

“o-okay,” you cry out.

he paints his load all over your pink gummy walls, groaning and stilling his thrusts as you both catch your breaths. he pulls out while you lay down, processing what the fuck just happened.

this was the best sex you’ve ever had.

————————————————————

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS OMFG IT WAS SO HARD TO WRITE CUS I DONT WRITE YEOSANG BUT THIS WAS SO FUN TOO

[bucketspammer4life]

what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you

based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)

first time ive ever maxed out the tags

if i missed your fav tell me ‼���

doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor

little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son

glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well

von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"

disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)

king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts

piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with

bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool

great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art

don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%

aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics

soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)

bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both

super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that

mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best

birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)

gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs

narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual

heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer

hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot

bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go

texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him

mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it

masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself

dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore

spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed

mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you

[lemon-wedges]

Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)

ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;

Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha

undercut cause it came out real long

SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.

And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.

heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)

after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!

instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.

examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.

the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!

Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines

NOW PAINTING.

man. where to even start.

the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.

VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE

I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.

like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention

the next step from this is adding a light source.

and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.

and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes

this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up

NOW COLOR

is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

its a lot and im actually still learning myself

But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too

WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.

figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.

my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.

and then? i start rendering

that would be TECHNIQUE

And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.

With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.

I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol

The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D

ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end

anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah

BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD

[mschimdt]

EXPLORER SHENANIGANS PT.1

200 followers special

synopsis: you, a famous youtuber known for exploeimg abandoned buildings with your friend jaz, come across freddy fazbears, you stumble inside not knowing there was security

warnings: i domt proof read my fics, if u dont like it then leave

-----------–—-18+ MINORS DNI----------—-–—-–

you, a famous youtuber known for exploring abandoned buildings and places, along with your friend, jaz.

you were streaming on youtube,in your backyard, talking to your fans asking them to reccomend places for you to explore, you were reading the chat with jaz

"a abandoned hospital?" you looked at jaz, she replied "thats too dangerous, ive hearf that hey have radioactive shit" she chuckled

"yeah true, oooohh someone said freddy fazbears thr pizzarea that 5 kids went missing in, thats a good one actually, i thinkd it'd be fun to explore that place, i dont think theres any security there" you looked at jaz " thats actually such a good idea!" she replied

you stared at the chat, everyone agreeing for you to go visit freddys.

"i think we should go, what time is it jaz?" u asked

"its 10:38" she replied, "think nows a good time?" u asked

"yeah, lets go collect our things, ill carry the cameras and you stream" she said

you were talking to the screen "okay guys were gonna pause the stream for a bit to get prepared, we'll stream again once were ready" you waved at the camera and paused to stream

you went inside, changing your clothes, grabbing a mini med kit just incase, and a pocket knife along with aa gas mask, you were always prepared before exploring abandoned places after you explored a school once with no equipment and you found fungus and some physcopath living inside it

"im gonna start the stream again lemme just grab my keys" you said

you were walking to your car, you opened the stream again "alright were back, time to go explore freddys!!" "woooo"

"i dont know if we should be scared honestly, i mean 5 kids got 'killed' in there apparently and there were some missing people a few days ago with their cars parked outside freddys" you said nervously

"lets not think about that, think about what we could find! i mean.. afterall we used to go here as kids." jazz said trying to reasure you

"okay were here" you said, parking your car

you turned the keys, shutting the car off, you opened the door and got oit of the car "oh my gof this ppace looks creepy as fuck!" jaz said, staring up at the flickering sign

"yeah, alright lets find a way in"

you found the door, it was open? weird, you said to yourself

"whys it opened?" "bet you theres some other peoppe exploring in here, lets me careful dunni what theyre capable of"

you walked down the short stairs, leading into a dark hallway, you walked and walked till you reached the stage room

"oh my god! i remember this room from when i was a kid!" jaz said excitedly, walkimg around the games studying them

"do you think they work?" you said

"theres no power, maybe if we find a power switch?"

"good idea come on!" you ran across the hallway, looking for a electricity room, you also stopped along the way to explore other rooms "found it!" you said

"alright lets try this" you said, turning your camera to face the lever you were about to pull, "3.... 2..... 1!" you pulled it down, lighting the pizzarea up, the lights making slight buzzing noises

you went back to the stage room, trying out the games

you didnt notice a guy coming through the wide door

"hey! youre not supposed to be here" he said. the guy looked like he'd just woken up from a nap

"and who're you..?" yous said

"security", he said followed by a yawn

you and jaz turned to face him,

"arent you those youtubers?" he said

"yeah- sorry about this tho didnt know there was security" jaz said

"look ill make an exception, you can hangout around jere for abit aslong as you dont break anything"

"really?!- thank you so much-..?"

"names mike"

"thank you mike!"

you and jaz played some games, mike was sitting by on a table.

then he spoke up "righy- how'd yall get in here?" "the door was opened" you replied "shit i forgot to lock it, be right back" he went to lock the door, u and jaz having the time of your life playing the arcade games

mike came back while you were both trying a basketball game, "lemme try" mike said, walking up to the stand he threw the ball, landing it into the hoop

he raised aa first up and yelled "wooo!"

u both laughed, trying to score a hoop, then you heard mike say "i know a few tricks to these games, theyre all rigged" he laughed

soon enough, it was 5am, mikes shift was about to end "okay so my shifts about to end- you guys should definetley come by tomorrow tho, today was fun" he said, a genuine smile on his face

his smiles pretty cute, u smile back, jaz turned to you raising and eyebrow at you

"thatd a good idea mike, we'll come by tomorrow, thank you for tonight really and thanks for not kicking us out!!"u said, making your way out of the building to your car

you got in your car, jaz said "holy shit that was so fun"

"litteraly ohh my gooodd" u added

you drove all the way back to your house, you and jaz have been living together for almost a ywar, you bought the house when your youtube channel took off so you could make more content

you edited the video, and posted it on youtube before going to sleep

once you woke up, you noticed the video had over 5million views, thats a record for you

"JAZ JAZ!!" you yelled "look oh my god"you added excitedly "holy shit? in SEVEN HOURS????" "YESS! we also gained 300K more subscribers from it"

"the freddy thing really worked out i guess"yo u said chuckling slightly

you spent your day home with jaz, untik you got an idea "jaz wanna get some snacks? we could watch a movie" "good idea, ill go get dressed"

you both got dressed, heading to the car to go to the supermarket nearby simce you were runnung low on snacks

the moment you got there, you noticed a familiar car, didnt think anything about it though

you walked inside, picking up a few snacks, you turned around to hed to thw other aisle, and you caught a glimpse of mike, with a little kid? he has a kid?

he noticed you, you went up to him.

"heyy, how are you" you said with a smile on your face

"im good! whatre you doing here?" he said

"nothing kust picking up some snavks, i disnt know you had a kid" you said, staring at the little girl who looked to be around 9

"oh abby? shes my sister not my kid, im raising her though because my parents uh- my dad left and my moms dead and stuff"

"im so sorry about that, anyways me and jazz might come by tonight, last time was fun" after that, you said your goodbyes and continued shopping, seeing him every few minutes, either waving or smiling each time you saw him.

[pacifymebby]

How would dark/yandere!peaky boys react to the reader asking for a break up (if they're dating) or divorce (if they're married) since reader gets uncomfortable with them now and finally notices their really possessive and unhealthy behavior? I have a feeling this most certainly won't go well

thx so much lovely❤️‍🔥

Thank u for this anon, not something ive ever tried to write before

Feel like this goes without saying lads but these wee headcannons depict sometimes abusive relationships that some people won't enjoy and may find upsetting. Please if u think it might upset u or put u at risk of harm, don't read them. (Im going to post some light stuff tonight too later on dont worry)

Tommy

🌿I'm not gonna lie, i don't think he'd let it get that far

🌿He's always in control, always pulling strings, no one thinks, feels or does anything without him knowing their desires before he does.

🌿He can read people like books, understand them deeply within only a few conversations, thats why he's so good at manipulating people and situations to get his own way.

🌿So if you are breaking up with him... Its because he wants you to, its just another microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan ect. ect.

🌿 Youre not leaving him, he's letting you leave... For one reason or another

🌿 It might be strategic, might be a way of taking the decision out of your hands, hes involved with some dangerous men and he wants you out the way for awhile, so he can be sure nothing will happen to you. If this is the case youll be dead to him, publicly, and as far as youre concerned. He'll cut you off completely, the only way youll be able to get through to him is if you march up to his front door.

🌿If he's letting you get to the point you actually try to leave him, he'll probably let you do it... If he shows you what life is like without him, how weak and feeble you are when you don't have him to protect you from the big bad world.. Then he knows you'll come running back.

🌿He might even set up the incident that scares you back to him. He might put you in "danger" then come swooping in to save you. Your tommy keeping you safe.

🌿And when you do he'll open his arms to you, he'll ask you if you missed him, "You've had me worried angel, thought somet had happened to you," and he'll lull you into a false sense of security.

🌿And just when you think youve been forgiven, he'll change, he'll be calm and cold but all the love wilo have drained from his eyes... "don't you ever do that to me again y/n, you know now eh, that world out there, it'll chew you up and spit you out and it won't think twice about putting you through hell, and i won't be so forgiving next time, might not let you back in... Think about that eh... Your Tommy might not let you back in..."

🌿But when he sees the tears in your eyes, that fear, the slight tremble in your bottom lip, he changes again, cups your cheek in his hand, rubs his thumb over your skin soothing and sweet, "Come 'ere eh, s'alright now love, you're back where you belong, right here with your tommy, c'mere"

🌿Pulls you into his arms, tight hug, holds you seriously and kisses your forehead. His eyes open the whole time.

🌿"You stay here now with me yeah, be safe as houses, just you and me against the world.."

🌿And he means it, thats whats so sinister about it, he really means it. As far as hes concerned in this world theres only really one thing that matters and thats him and you, him having you...

🌿So he wouldn't think twice about killing, destroying, burning the whole fuckin city to the ground if it meant keeping you.

🌿Ultimately youre the only thing in his life which is worth living for, other than spite. Hes obsessed with the idea of keeping you healthy, of giving you everything, of making sure you live the best life and remain pure and unscathed by the world...

🌿 Which again, is why he'd sooner see the whole world destroyed before he let you go off on your own and risk being hurt.

Alfie

🐻 Just like Tommy Alfie wants to protect you. He is obsessed with your innocence and your youthful optimism, he wouldn't want any harm to come to you or for you to ever be in danger... Which is why he dotes on you, completely smothers you with his love, never leaves you alone.

🐻 And just like Tommy Alfies not surprised when you try to leave. Unlike Tommy it isn't part of some greater plan... When he first realises youre beginning to distance yourself from him he is genuinely hurt.

🐻He loves you... In his own, maybe more intense than is generally conventional but you know, thats just him ain't it, kind of way. He genuinely doesn't know what he'd do if he lost his little zieskiet...

🐻 Hes concered too, he actually does think you're as small and helpless as he's always telling you you are... He genuinely does believe that without him, you'll wither away, be dead in a week. He knows you can't look after yourself... If he lets you go thats it youre gone forever

🐻 Which is why hes so determined to keep you

🐻 He starts simple, he turns on the charm offensive, twists that dial right up to 11... He doesnt realise its making you feel worse though, all this walking you from home to the shops, the bar, meeting you outside your work...

🐻 He brings you flowers, bakes for you, buys your pretty gifts and is ever so sweet to you

🐻 But he notices what you're doing, youre still making plans... And last night one of his men told him they saw you buy a train ticket to take you up north...

🐻So he takes things up a notch... He's never let you in his office before, tells you the only people who ever come into his office are business men, cause you only leave his office on a deal or death basis

🐻So when he calls you and instructs you to come to his office you know you're in trouble, and you're terrified he knows your plan

🐻 "Alfie whats going on youre scaring me..."

🐻 "Not as much as youre scaring me poppet..." "I don't under..." "you know what i dont like poppet?... Rumours... Yeah nasty little things rumours, theyre like fuckin woodworms yeah... Theres never just fucjin one of em is there, theres always fuckin hundreds of them and theyre everywhere right... Fuckin woodworms.. You know theyre all different dont you, theyre all their own little wood munchin grimy little individual selves... But see the thing is they all look and sound thr fuckin same... Disgusting, i hate woodworms... They get into everythin don't they, the very bones of your house, and they feast on it, fuckin parasites right... And sometimes you dont even know youve got em until one night youre sleeping, dreaming fuckin lovely little dreams and suddenly, they all start dropping on you from on high... You ever had that poppet? Woodworms? "

🐻" N.. No Alfie..." "Nasty shock, fuckin horrible shock actually..."

🐻 "And thats the thing right, rumours right, theyre exactly the fuckin same and see recently yeah, I've been hearing a lot of em... Know what theyre about?" he's leaning back in his chair fingers locked over contemplative, until he turns them on you, "You..."

🐻 He tells you hes heard rumours youre going to take a train up north, he tells you all the journey details... Departure time, the stops you'll go through and the time you'll arrive at your final stop. "Amazing init, the details you hear in rumours..."

🐻Now you think you know why hes brought you to his office... The gun in his drawer, maybe he's worse than you thought he was, you try to angle yourself so that you can see his hand.

🐻 "Now what i wanna know right, is if these rumours are true?" youre trembling, utterly terrified, youre not a good liar and you know you definitely can't lie to him... But do you have a choice.

🐻 Your hesitence tells him everything he already knew.

🐻 "Now this is bad news innit, very bad news indeed poppet," "Cause see what ive been doing all these years we've been together yeah, you being mine and me being yours... Ive been looking after you, your old man - thats me yeah - 's been looking after you, plain and simple... And well, its been so long i don't know how you're gonna fair without me?"

🐻 He'll get you to stay by making you doubt yourself, he's always babied you and now hes going to remind you that you really are his little girl. That you need him to help you with everything, you won't survive without him. Who will do all the thinking for you? Make the difficult decisions? Who's going to defend you against all those bad men out there that want to hurt you?

🐻 "So these rumours right? Are they true?" this time you dont hesitate, you shake your head and say no, you dont want to leave him you want to stay with him forever...

🐻 He welcomes you into his lap, pats his knee says "well, thats alright then ain't it, come here poppet, come sit in your old mans lap yeah?" he strokes your hair and holds you and keeps talking to you about how he takes care of you.

🐻 You reach down, trying to be subtle you want to see if the gun is in his drawer, if he was going to use it on you. But he catches your little hand in his raises it to his mouth and kissing your fingers one by one whilst hes talking to you.

🐻 "Did you think that's what id brought you in here for poppet? You think your old man was gonna offer you a deal or death?" you shake your head but youre lying again and this time he questions for a second if he went too far... He did want you to think he might do that...

🐻 But he never actually would... Wouldnt every hurt you like that... Alfies toxic behaviors stem from him being possessive and too protective, he only holds on so tight to you to try and protect you from every threat he percieves. Why would he kill the thing that means the most to him.

Arthur

🍂 He knows he has problems... Well, he's aware of most of them

🍂 He knows his temper is bad. Hes convinced that he's a monster. If you start to believe you are something hard enough you'll start behaving like it. He thinks hes a monster, hes convinced hes going to lose you

🍂 Whether he actually is or not.

🍂But he doesn't realise, that believing you to be the only thing thats good in this world, is a problem too. That thinking youre the only one who can save him, that without you he's doomed to hell...

🍂 Thats what starts to worry you, how hes always telling you youre his ticket to heaven... But his temper and his jealousy, the rages he throws himself into when he thinks someone else has looked at you or flirted with you... They're the things that make you certain you have to leave.

🍂 Its only a matter of time before someone gets killed because of his complete obsession with you, so you try to leave.

🍂 You dont want to hurt him though, despite his rages, his violent outbursts you see him for what you believe him to really be. A wounded man who is hurting, a man who is capable of love but gets so overwhelmed by it it starts eating him alive like black rot.

🍂 So you try to break it to him gently. You tell him you love him but you have to go, its too much, too intense. You make the mistake of telling him he scares you

🍂 "Alright love you listen to me now... This is whats going to happen yeah... You are going to go upstairs now yeah, youre going to unpack your things, put em all back where they belong and then you're going to come back down here and youre going to apologise to me for fucking scaring me alright?"

🍂 He doesnt say it calmly either, he has that low, threatening anger, you can see how hard hes trying to hold it together but hes shaking with rage, you can see it bubbling up behind his eyes.

🍂 You try to be brave, you try to say, "no arthur, thats not how its going to be this..."

🍂 Thats when he loses it, "Alright?" he raises his voice getting louder, "I said fucking alright y/n? Did you hear me?"

🍂 He might get physical, he won't attack you, but that switch will flip in his brain, triggered by how scared he is to lose you... And you'll definitely be scared that he might really hurt you

🍂 He'll probably grab you too roughly, perhaps trap you against the wall. Hand gripping your throat tight enough to leave a mark.

🍂 If he hurts you hes going to feel bad about it, full of guilt later. He'll apologise to you, tell you it won't happen again, he'll probably tell you he knows youre scared of him, hes a monster, you and fuckin everyone else is scared of him these days...

🍂 You'll stay because he scares you. But also because you are convinced that maybe underneath it all there is good in him, you can change him...

🍂 But he won't change.

🍂 He can't change. He doesnt know why he feels everything so intensely but he does, he feels his love for you like bullets ripping through his body. He wouldn't be able to breath if he lost you. He'd suffocate

🍂 Which is ironic because sometimes hes so overzealous with his love, so possesive, always touching you in public, behaving inappropriately at parties and in front of other people. Squeezing you, rubbing your thigh, your arse... Can't keep his hands off you... That it feels like hes suffocating you with his love.

🍂 If he isnt following you everywhere personally, hes got peaky boys watching over you at all times.

John

🌼 Doesnt know that he has problems, thinks this level of adoration and love combined with this level of fear of your leaving, is normal... Its just the nature of your relationship, because he lives in such a dangerous world, its natural to fear you could be snatched from him at any moment. So he doesn't realise theres anything wrong with his attachment to you

🌼 He wont believe you, he'll probably crack a grin and say "what was that flower?" when you don't answer though, when he looks and sees the tears in your eyes he'll shout, "fuckin what was that y/n?"

🌼 He has tears in his eyes, you cant tell if hes really going to cry or not...

🌼 Hes far too invested in your relationship its like his whole life depends on it... That the second you tell him you've had enough, of his fighting and drinking, the crime, the violence, the worrying he ain't gonna make it home to you... The second you quite fairly point out that it isn't fair on you, he hits breaking point.

🌼 0 to 100.

🌼 At first he can't believe it, then hes devestated, then hes angry. And the emotions hit him at 100mph

🌼He doesnt understand why you want to go? He believes the two of you are perfect, that youre the perfect example of when opposites attract, that your good balances out his bad...

🌼 So you try to explain it to him, you can see he's upset so you try to be kind... Try to tell him theres no balance... But his emotions are all over the place and he keeps flipping between crying and heartbroken to white heat anger

🌼 "You wanna talk about fuckin balance love?"

🌼 He takes his gun out, turns it on you, then himself then back to you. "Find the balance now eh... We're on a fucking seesaw now y/n and one of us has got to go yeah, me or you?"

🌼 You have to talk him down from his rage, but its hard, you're holding back tears, trying not to show how scared you are but seeing him point the trigger at himself it makes you realise how devestated you would be to lose him

🌼 And that must mean you love him right? You always knew you did love him, never questioned your love for him... Just whether or not it was good love.

🌼 Youre not stupid, you know this isnt good love but... Its the only love youve got and you do love him...

🌼 So you talk calmly, approach him slowly, youre trembling and when you get to him theres a moment where hes still pointing the gun at you... Hes tears on his cheeks and hes shaking too.

🌼 "John love, sweetheart please don't do this i love you Im sorry i love you..."

🌼 You end up crying together on the kitchen floor, him holding onto you so tight.

🌼 He makes sure in future to be extra sweet to you, he buys you a locket with a photo of him in it, on the back "my love" is engraved. Its beautiful. He tells you to wear it everyday. Never to take it off.

🌼He will also use sex to keeo you his, making you feel good and reminding you that hes the only man who could make you feel that good.

Bonnie

🍀 Doesn't really know that hes as bad as he is... Hes just protective, some would call him possesive too but all he thinks is that hes protecting what is his.

🍀 He knows he shouldn't like the fact that youre physically much weaker than him as much as he does but he brushes it off as just something that attracts him to you... Everyone likes different things and he likes you.

🍀 If you realise he's a little too possessive, if you work out the fact that he never actually leaves you on your own, that even when you go for walks you feel like someones following you, that you see him waiting across the street from you in town, always watching you (he'd say watching over you, making sure hes there near by if you need him)

🍀 Then you might decide you want to leave.

🍀And Bonnie does have a very strong moral code, he has certain views about relationships and women that hes stubborn about.

🍀 He wont hurt you, he wont physically stop you, won't even threaten you... Because he knows that isnt how you treat women... Even when they're scaring the shit out of you threatening to break your fucking heart

🍀He'll look sad when you tell him, when you tell him he scares you when he follows you, that youre scared to be with him

🍀He apologises, tells you he does it cause he cares about you, because he loves you, hes so sweet about it, so apologetic that you know he really is sorry he scares you...

🍀 He promises you he'll change... And he tries a little, not very hard because theres some changes he doesn't think it would be very smart to use make...

🍀So in the end he doesnt change at all, he still follows you, still lingers around you all the time, watching you with those intense eyes. Its like hes waiting for something bad to happen to you...

🍀He probably uses his peaky boy status to scare other lads away from you, hes scared of losing you to someone else so whenever he sees another man near he intervenes, either by coming up to you, holding your hand, putting his arm around you, kissing you in front of them, marks his territory or, by threatening them later when youre gone.

🍀Hes always finding an excuse to give you his clothes to wear, he likes it when you wear his coat. Feels like hes keeping you safe, but also it shows everyone that youre his.

🍀 You think Bonnies sweet, that he really is only trying his best to keep you safe.

🍀When things get rough, when he thinks you're becoming distant, he'll take you off into the wildlands where the two of you can be alone together for as long as it takes to win you over.

🍀And when you do say you'll give him another chance he's ever so sweet and good to you, smothers you with affection. He does make you feel loved, even if at times it is intense and scary.

Isaiah

🐀Hes jealous and he has a temper.

🐀The temper is usually reserved for people he percieves to threaten the happiness of you and him.

🐀You're his prize to defend and hes convinced hes always going to be fighting people to keep you. Thinks everyone wants a piece of his girl

🐀When you tire of the constant convincing him youre his and only his, and you try to leave he kind of bates you?

🐀"Fucking fine y/n, fuckin leave me then.." he can pretend not to care for just long enough to make you doubt yourself, just long enough to break your heart and make you regret your decision.

🐀Thats only because thats not something that takes very long... For a number of reasons

🐀Isaiah is very good at playing the long game. When things are good he showers you with expensive gifts and spoils you sexually too, he's always giving you little reminders of how hard he works for you and the life the two of you have together. He's always reminding you that everything he does is for you.

🐀He's always leaving little marks on you two, love bites and things, marking his territory

🐀So when he switches the charm off the moment you threaten to leave it makes you question whats wrong with you, he isn't even upset, maybe you need him more than he needs you?

🐀That scares you into submission pretty quickly and when you shake your head, change your mind and begin to cry, he'll change again, tell you not to cry, not to be upset.

🐀"Don't cry sweetheart, not your fault, i know you get a little bit confused sometimes, such strong, scary emotions must muddle that pretty little head of yours right up," he's good at babying you, talking down to you to remind you that without him you couldn't survive on your own.

🐀Will start kissing you, touching you, carressing you, teasing you until he has you undressed for him, he'll drive you crazy the way only he can and when he's fucking you into submission he'll remind you that hes the only one who can make you feel that way. Hes the only one youll ever be able to feel so good with. You need him.

🐀Buys you pretty jewellery, expensive gifts, takes you out to expensive bars and spoils you, buys you things you'll never want to part with.

Michael

☘️ Is obsessed with you, with the idea of owning you. Youre the pretty thing he wants to show off to the rest of the world, he wants to see you thrive because it will make him feel good about himself. Knowing his girl is the best there is. That shes all his.

☘️Because of this he invests so much time and money into you, you get music lessons, art lessons, you get libraries of books and youre spoilt but controlled too.

☘️ Michael controls everything about your life, from what you wear to how you spend every second of every day. He wants what's best for you. Thats all hes thinking about.

☘️Is pissed that you'd want to leave, not just pissed but insulted... He knows hes possesive and controlling and he knows he cam be cold sometimes but

☘️ "Everything you've got y/n, I've given you... Everything i own i share it with you.. Everything I've worked for its for us... Together right?"

☘️ Threatens you, not with physical violence but instead threatens to take everything from you.

☘️ "if I'm going to fucking lose you y/n then youre going to lose everything?" youre everything to him so it seems fair that you should lose everything if you walk away from him

☘️He'll dazzle you with all the fancy gifts hes brought you over the years, he'll stand behind you in the mirror, let his fingers trail the silk dress he chose for you, that he paid for... He'll kiss your neck just above the string of pearls you wear doubled around your neck

☘️ And then he'll tug them, the necklace tightens around your neck... Almost... Almost enough to actually choke you

☘️ You'll lose everything y/n... Your connections, the family will cut you off... We can leave you behind, forget we ever knew your name, but you can't leave us... People will always know you as my wife... Bad men will still try to use you to get to me..." "But if youre not mine anymore i wont protect you, ill let them have you wont i... Cause you wont be part of the family anymore and i wont know you... Wont know who you are..."

☘️ These kind of threats are as scary as anything threat of physical violence could be. You know michael really means it when he says these things. He's a cold man. Capable of cutting you off.

☘️"No second chances y/n if you want to leave then leave, but there'll be no second chances..."

☘️And maybe you could be fine on your own, maybe you could start fresh, somewhere no one knows your name... But is it really worth the risk...

☘️ "Or you can stay, you can apologise to me for being so ungrateful, and then I'll forgive you and we'll go back to happily ever after.." "Just like that?". "Yes love, just like that"

Idk if i did these right sorryy bestie, i hope you liked them though!!!

[tubbytarchia]

new jim hardcore smp....... 30 days...... watching the vod............ this is so long im so sorry. i cant stop noting every little detail.

members (might miss some. just saying ones that join or are mentioned): jimmy, martyn, bekyamon, sneegsnag, fwhip, mogswamp, joel, sausage, lizzie, oli, "all the life series crew (but none of them responded)", scott, aimsey (jimmy says later theres "about 14 of us")

martyn almost dies immediately i think. he joins and almost instantly starts complaining about a zombie at spawn.

bekyamon DOES die immediately via skeleton. jim does the thing where he goes dead silent.

jimmy revives her after a moment of trying to figure out how to. he got someone to do it for him (i think an off-screen admin. like sonam life series)

he places down a crafting table ONLY to craft sticks then picks it up again. this isnt important i just thought it was funny. he then places it down again 5 seconds later

on the way to find stone hes met by sneeg and martyn in a boat. they all spend the first night together. cute. sneeg gets inside their makeshift cave and immediately goes afk (to talk to his chat i think)

jimmy: two dudes chilling in a dark cave, (places 2 dirt between him and martyn) two blocks apart...

martyn: NOT IN PRIDE MONTH!! (runs around the dirt)

^ they then both do the AYYYYY! thing which i think is cute.. big dogs will always be real. they keep talking about league of legends and i dont know whats happening.

jim and martyn go out at night to get resources. jimmy crashes while mining coal around some gravel and he crashes....... he has the falling block glitch,,, martyn crashed too i think (update: they all have it. i think its caused by mods not installing properly but its probably server side since its everyone? or fwhip messed up since jim said fwhip organised a folder for everyone to install.)

jimmy finds a village! on the way he has a close call with a creeper and he then raids it. he mentions football but then hes like "you dont care do you. no worries" TALK ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS ON YOUR STREAAMMMMM i mean what

chat keeps telling him to kill a golem. he resists for a bit before doing it. "you know what. ive gave in to peer pressure. im going to kill him." he then kills the golem and he goes ooo or yeah for every hit.

lizzie joins and he starts BEGGING her to not die first. "lizzie, lizzie, listen to me, if youre watching the stream still. you CANNOT be the first one to die. lizzie, please. please, please. do not be the first one to die, please. you cant have that title. you cannot have this title." (lizzie then says im gonna live so hard and he laughs. but jimmy what the hell was that about)

lizzie then mentions in chat that theres powdered snow at spawn and jimmys IMMEDIATELY like not my fault. the server did that. ???????????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM LIKE ACTUALLY i need to study him get in my lab boy

chat asks if its gonna be made into videos. he says its only going to be streamed. jimmy please hire someone to edit down your streams. please

jimmy makes it very clear that he wants to survive all 30 days. i believe in him

LIZZIES HERE shes in her empires season 2 dress skin. ?????? she forgot to install all the mods

she then leaves and sausage arrives by yelling DADDY JIM?????? (jimmy then says "first time someones called me daddy! wow!" to which saus goes "LIES. LIES. LIES!!" and jim says "well. you know. we dont talk about what we do in our spare time-" ?!!?!?!!?!?!)

lizzie then rejoins and it makes both of them jump. lizzie explains the skin by saying she likes to use the skins she doesnt wear much in between series. thats so cute i cant do this

sausage says his sos builds were him "holding back". i am scared of him i think

lizzie wants to test if you can still jump off cliffs in boats. she then goes into a ravine (and lands in water so it isnt even a test) and realises that she did just jump into a ravine with a total of 0 resources. she gets out fine :)

they talk about saving the villagers and lizzie tries to. seduce one of them into going inside the house. then sausage tries to seduce the SAME villager.

sausage has a gapple already???? he tries to give it to jimmy but jimmy gives it back.

jim and lizzie talk about joel. jimmy: "i wish i could spend some quality time with him, you know?" lizzie: "yeah me too, me too man" they then start talking about him. like wanting custody over him. like some strange pet. jimmy and lizzie and the weird thing they found on the street. jimmy explicitly refers to joel as "our man" which i think is kind of gay.

jimmy and lizzie and sausage go mining together. this is such a great trio im so happy. they go into one of those shitty little caves and mythical "builder" sausage starts texturing the entrance. someone put him in a creative world its good for his enrichment.

sausage picked the seed :) every biome is close by

lizzie keeps taming cats and im scared she isnt going to stop.

honestly the mining trip is really chill... its just the three of them hanigng out and talking. very fun. sausage meows when hes nervous. lizzie has just found out that hardcore means the server is set to hard. they also all remember that cats scare creepers and theyre having a great time. lizzie has no armour and reaches 1 heart.

sausages texturing is an ongoing bit and its so fucking funny they keep encouraging him. sausage this whole cave needs texturing.

oli wants to know where jimmy is. this gives hey girl i mean they energy and i cant explain it. jimmy says "we" are in a hole atm and oli goes full jealous bf mode on him. he calls him kitten. i cant do this

the gang finds a lush cave and sausages texturing bit gets even funnier. hes so happy about moss. unfortunately theres like a million mobs.

aimsey asks in chat if someone can sleep so jimmy does. he says it was him and aimsey says "YAY!!!!! you are my new favourite" while scott says "youre so hot for that". jimmy does not acknowledge either of them. winning the idgaf war.

sausage combat logs in between a bunch of mobs. lizzie combat logs a moment later. leaving jimmy alone to fight all the mobs (its like a single creeper and skeleton) and jimmy is SO annoyed about it. he'll never forget this.

they both join again but lizzie has to leave :( she goes back to the surface to log out safely

sausage is visibly upset about caving day 1. he yearns to build. he really really wants to build. did you know he wants to build. he wants a starter house. he doesnt want to be in the caves.

they see some gravel and jimmys like be careful. dont touch it cuz of the glitch. sausage then goes wait can i hit it here? and the game IMMEDIATELY crashes. jimmy is devastated. like clutching his head hitting his desk. hes worried hes gonna fall to his death cuz he was placing blocks.

they both rejoin at about the same time. turns out what saus did (i think) is he tried to break a single piece of gravel that he THOUGHT wasnt connected to anything. but it was. it was connected to a lot of things actually. so they both crashed

they start to go back up and they find oli!!! oli starts playing the oli and jim theyre just two guys song. hes actually so jealous boyfriend "explain to me why i have that song ready and youre spending time in a hole with OTHER men by the way!?" he also says kitten again. i cant do this. oli tries to modify the oli and jim song to oli and oli. he chills out quickly then starts playing their talent show song

they go back to the surface and oli starts talking about wanting (armadillo) scutes (for dog armour) and a dog. while oli is talking about dogs jimmy is just. zoomed in on his feet. sausage just says he will give oli 10 gifted subs if he shows his feet on stream. they get on him for being too direct and not being pg. as if they were being perfect little angels. ok oli and jim.

they all start talking over each other about lore and i cant hear anything except jimmy going "IM THE DADDY OF THIS SERVER!" and oli going "NO YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY LITTLE KITTEN MAN"

jimmy leaves to get food. he comes back and briefly passes oli and saus and i just hear oli calling sausage kitten too. i dont know what this new bit is and im too scared to ask.

all three of them go on a little boat ride to find more people. jimmy wrote a sea song yesterday and its really fun and catchy.......

they eventually run into martyn and sneeg. i think a thing about this smp is going to be me not being able to hear anything. theres a minimum of 3 people talking at any given time. the boats end up as jim/martyn, sneeg/oli, and saus. oli changes oli and jim to oli and sneeg.

i genuinely think theres like maybe 2 braincells between them all because as soon as someone says something they all start repeating it

oli and jimmy separate off. theyre looking for some place to live and they realise the spot they want is where scott is. so they make a bit out of trying to move into the area without anyone noticing theyre there. scott tries to talk to them and theyre like heyyyyyyy we didnt notice you here aha. ahaha. for context the area is like. a massive hole in the ground thats not a cave but its just. a pit. scott and aimsey call it the donut jimmy and oli call it the disc.

oli says "has there ever been a disc war" and i was thrown so hard into 2020. they then speak over each other but jimmys like (to scott) YOU FRUSTRATE ME! I AM FRUSTRATED! and oli says that oli/jim are the disc heads. surely nobody is going to mispronounce this. just a couple of disc heads. ok mr pg. their house is the discheads disc den and they keep saying it really fast and i think somethings going to go wrong.

martyn and sausage and sneeg turn up and within like a second olis like "we love riding disc in this house" and saus says "ill ride that disc" i dont like either of them at all. then oli shoos jimmy away to convince sneeg to call it the disc and not a donut (probably to say something not pg). whatever he said it worked cuz by the time jimmys back hes calling it the disc. mog turns up at some point during this too.

jimmy walks off and finds a whole bunch of dogs.... he got one of the new ones. woods wolf? idk its very cute. he goes back to the group and mog gets exiled for calling the hole a donut. jimmy mines for like 5 minutes then ends. :p next stream monday and theres another build and seek video tomorrow

Me and Liau read this ask together a few days ago and all of this OOC is the funniest shit. But also I don't think it'd be bearable for me to watch lol (minimum of 3 people speaking at a time sounds god awful. I'm just not the type of person to be able to watch that without getting really overwhelmed. Sobs) so I lay you extra thanks for updating me!! Also the humor sense is uhh. This is really starting to feel like one of those fan-made Life Series where it's mostly kids whose humor sense is primarily sex jokes. Once again OOC this all gave me a good laugh but oh my god I would not personally be able to get through this

Aughhh him and Lizzie talking about Joel though.... their man... yeah it's gay. Jimmy needs to be adopted into hermitcraft so bad dude these two never stop proclaiming how much they miss each other. End my misery

How dare Sausage and Lizzie combat log and leave Jimmy to fend for himself.... Jimmy should start murdering... also the bit with Sausage hurts my brain noooo all I can think is that miserable Jimmy does just. fuck Sausage I guess. Because he gets little affection from anyone else and Sausage is the only one to actively reach out to him and offer anything of the sort and Jimmy just takes it and has led himself to believe that he likes it this way when he just doesn't have any other options to get the affection he desires but is unable to ask for it from anyone himself. The trauma and all. Ugh I'm sorry Sausage enjoyers I cant with him

And Oli is so weird about him too lmao what are they doing!! But I can accept Oli, he's funny to me. The way he goes to comedic extremes at any inconvenience in his relationship with Jimmy to quickly switch back around is funny to me. He doesn't compare to Sausage. He could do Jimmy some good. The blonde boyfriends have my approval even if Oli is the way he is

I love when Jimmy just proclaims how he's feeling. "THAT FRUSTRATES ME. I AM FRUSTRATED" why is he such a stupid little thing I love him

Mog getting exiled immediately for referring to the hole wrong is really funny. I'm so sorry Mog

[choccy-milky]

Bro I’m kicking my feet in the air! The new chapter was so FREAKING GOOD!!!!

I’ve said this in the past but I LOVE the way you write Anne, ominis and the general fluff for this story and I can’t even begin to talk about your art and how much I smile when I see you post ❤️❤️❤️

10/10 I missed our normal pink flag Sebastian

BAHAHA AW TYY💖💖IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT💖 i love writing all of their dynamics not just clora and sebs, so im glad you like that as well 🥹tysm again🥹 and fr between my dark relic comic and my relic!seb art i been missing him too, all hail the return of the SLIGHTLY red flag/pink flag boi 🚩🩷🏳️🩷🚩

oh god idk LMAO. the climax is gonna be happening in the next 1-2 chapters, and then after that its gonna be summer stuff / epilogue with a bit of seb and clora as curse-breakers and what thats like, but i have no idea how long itll be BAHAHA, i am starting to get a bit self-conscious about the word count and how big my fic is tbh LMFAO so im glad youd be fine if it went on forever LOOL💖💖

@oneofafew NO BAHAHA THEYRE NOT RELATED AT ALL, I DIDNT REALIZE THERE WAS ALREADY A LAWLEY IN THE GAME LMAO, maybe he can be his uncle or some shit, bc the lawley in the game is also an asshole. its funny too, bc when me and hogwartslegacypics were trying to find out what bully boi's ACTUAL name was by looking in the audio files of all the NPCS, we saw a "lawley" and i started freaking out i was like OMG IF I ACCIDENTALLY GUESSED HIS NAME RIGHT THATD BE AMAZING🤯🤯 but alas........no. no relation LOL

@slytherinsomniari IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT, TYY💖 and for the anatomical parts u mean the x-ray stuff? tbh its just a trope/thing that happens in hentai manga which is where a lot of my reference/inspo comes from when i draw nsfw stuff, and i always liked it, so i included it into my own art. as for how i can tell when theres too much....well there are certain sites you can always go to to watch an actual video to see what a 'normal' amount is, but WHO CARES IF ITS REALISTIC OR NOT I SAY, ITS ALL KINKY FANTASY SHIT, WHO NEEDS REALISM💪

@4ever2000lover LMAOO IF IT WAS UP TO SEB CLORA WOULD BE PREGNANT 24/7 I SWEAR TO GOD (until he realizes that means they cant bone as much) but tbh i actually only plan to make them have 2 kids, a girl first whos fiesty and a tomboy and takes after seb, and then a more softspoken boy who takes after clora🥰

[wazzappp]

ROBBIES TURN yes I am posting his the day right after Gabes yes i have lost sleep doing this.

When Robbie has been hurt enough the mold that makes him up essentially goes 'ok yeah no theres no point in even trying to look human all our energy is going towards survival rn'. It consumes the places that have had the most damage in the past (primarily the arms and his torso but his previously cut off leg is getting some fun bullshit too). His thought process gets sort of foggy?? I think thats the best way to describe it. His brain sort of narrows down to 'KEEP SAFE' and 'KEEP BAD THINGS AWAY' the bad things usually being MOST THINGS THAT MOVE (Gabe is completely classified in the 'keep safe' catagory. Lisa.... is on thin ice but they're on pretty good terms at this point. As long as she doesen't attack him outright she's probably good).

Theres a bit of a sliding scale for 'how much damage' corrisponds to 'how much decay / mental fog' and Im gonna start working on it soon. There is a slight middle ground where the moldyness is very apparent but Robbie is also mentally aware enough to recognize it and its a VERY BAD TIME FOR HIM. He cant really feel much in his hands when they're like that (the mold isnt mimicing nerves the same way because they want to protect him from pain to keep him moving) its like when your hand goes to sleep and it buzzes. It's like trying to flutter your fingers through water. You can do it without much issue but theres still just a little resistance. Also I think that 'disliking being confronted with your own deadness' is something that he and cannon Robbie share. Cant freak out about your problems if you refuse to acknowledge them! (<- he will inevitably suffer for this)

Also having a fun time thinking about how disconnected he would feel from his own hands. Theres no way they're his they don't LOOK like his hands or FEEL like his hands but they move when he tells them to so they HAVE to be.

Luckily I was actually able to find a PERFECT voice reference for the sort of garbled-choked-wheezing-thing-waiting-in-the-dark-for-you I was envisioning for sufficiently hurt Robbie (being impaled in this example isn't helping either)

Also if you want to hear more of this EXCELLENT voice its Fiddlesticks from League of Legends (i can not escape) and its KELLEN FUCKING GOFF THE GUY WHO VOICES FUNTIME FREDDY AND GLAMROCK FREDDY AND SUN AND MOON THIS GUY IS W O A H. He also did this. With minimal sound editing. he just SOUNDS LIKE THAT. HE MADE A FUCKING TUTORIAL.

ANYWAY Gabe is uh. Not really having a good time with that one. Robbie in this state reminds him a LOT of himself while under Evelines control. Robbie is in control of himself of course hes just in the mental state of WHERE BROTHER :(?????? WHERE GO??? MAYBE LISA KNOWS??? LISA WHERE BROTHER :(((. But you can not listen to the audio I provided and think 'HMMM YES THAT IS VERY REASSURING I SHALL LISTEN TO THAT VOICE A GOOD SOUND YES HM YES'

[alex-multiverse]

Kh Worldbuilding headcanons: Destiny Islands Edition

No one ever talks about the original worlds in kh and i find that a travesty because these places are a really, REALLY good mine to play around with. (u can also use them or expand on them if you really like)

So im gonna share some HCs i have about the original kh worlds, starting with Destiny islands..... but before that some basics: also this is kinda long so under the read more it goes

In general:

Kh "worlds" arent really floating in space. the stylized icons we see in game are more akin to dimensional rifts rather than actual planets (seriously who thinks this is how the world looks fr)

Following on with the dimensional rift: as the "worlds" arent really pieces of the original world, they are something more akin as parallel dimensions or something along the lines of something like ff14 (mostly because i would rather die first than live in a world with 5 different versions of britain existing at the same time)

As much as dark road is cool, the explanation for the empty worlds is dumb and for the purposes of this exercise, instead ofthe worlds filling the people gradually after it is created, i consider that the worlds as they exist are the result of the surviving children of the war making their stories real in the fractured reality of the original world (it also follows the weird theme of reality/unreality that kh4 seems to go for) and it turning into a different version of earth as we know it, with some exceptions, such as monstropolis (which exists independently as a parallel land to earth in its canon) and Deep space (which is straight up NOT earth and was more like, the rift of lilo and stitch's world pointing at the high counselor's fleet BEFORE the actual movie started) and also the OG worlds who dont have something to be based on for reasons to be explained later.

the only world that exists in the ocean between as it is, is the Keyblade graveyard. because it was so majorly fucked up by the war it both shattered in the physical and dimensional way after it happened.

Now that that rant is out of the way, LETS GO TO THE MOST UNDERRATED WORLD IN THE SERIES:

Destiny islands is in fact, more than 2 islands, being a big archipelago with a bigger "main island" where our three protagonists live at. this one we have seen before in kh2

Destiny islands, is, by far, not the only chain of islands in the world. in fact, theres way more islands beyond the horizon.

We know the islands have a mayor, thus we know that they must have cordial diplomatic ties with different islands near them.

Due to FF characters existing here, i am very tempted to assure that some of the races from ff8 and ffX exist in this world (you are now imagining kimahri playing with a tiny kairi after diplomacy stuff with her dad just ended)

Due to DI being an original world, it is actually a shard of the original world that didnt really changed much compared to the other original ones. its major difference is that it is an ocean world like Wind waker hyrule or the Grand line from One piece

Magic is a real thing in the original worlds populace, you just really need to get good at it, learn it, be magical by default, or cheat and get a keyblade somehow

Religion in the og worlds strike me as something akin to the way people prayed to the aeons of yevon in ffx or the astrals of FF15. with people praying to the ff summons on a case by case basis and depending on their preference for patron gods. Ie: Leviathan being a goddess of the ocean and water who is prayed to by sailors or fishermen, while scholars prefer ifrit using an interpretation of the fire of knowledge. (you know. like a furry prometheus that doesnt get eaten by an eagle daily)

I'll probably go on more detail later, but for now, the summons that get prayed to the most in DI is probably Leviathan for the aforementioned reasons, Ramuh for nature and agriculture reasons, shiva for tradition and combat reasons (related to riku in my particular headcanon) And Titan for economical reasons, wow alex making the rock man into the economy guy i wonder where you have heard it before

Speaking of economy, DI currency totally has tiny paopu fruit symbols in its coins and bills, and its a legal course currency in its neighboring islands because they too dig the paopu fruit symbolism

Munny looks like malleable diamonds because it probably just morphs into the appropate currency depending on the world we're in, moogles only use them as they are because they are both the people doing synthing and also shady as hell. do not trust the pompom people.

Going back to the Paopu fruit: its quite a common tree fruit in the islands and in fact is industrially harvested in some islands both as an export and in-island use.

The paopu folk story is actually mostly just a misconception for an older tale. originally involving sailors and a promise to return home safe. it eventually turned into "sharing one will entwine your fates forever"

Paopu pastries are a common dessert, and paopu wine is used often in weddings.

Monsters ARE real in the islands and roam the most inhabited places. These are often hunt for game and for safety reasons

THAT MEANS, chocobos are also a thing people use in the most rural parts of the islands for fieldwork, transportation and sometimes food.

Blitzball is MAD popular and they Often do tournaments involving several islands. DI itself was almost a perpetual champion up until jecht retired, then they win every so often instead of always

Boating licenses are a thing, but kids can still use their little boats because they have to row them. think like, the difference between a bicicle and a motorbike.

There are bridges for tram systems between islands that are close to each other, usually reinforced for sea and storm reasons.

Legally speaking, equal marriage is a thing and even polyamorous ones because why being an ass about it.

Healthcare is mostly public, but there are Specialty care stuff in the main islands that costs money because of course it is

Because sora and riku are japanese names, i prefer the island to be something like a tropical japan, so most of the people in DI have japanese names.

That would be all for now. tune in next time when i tackle on Twilight town, who may or not be in perpetual twilight (is not)

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

[cartoonrival]

HEY YOU Hit me with some Julie Su propoganda cuz I'm mostly lukewarm on her character and don't know all that much about her.

OK OK ... well baseline info she's the daughter of dark legion general luger, and half sister of lien-da and kragok, who are twins and both high ranking legion soldiers. when their mother (merin-da) died and luger remarried, ld and kragok hated his new wife (julie-su's mother) (mari-su) so bad they orchestrated her death, info which was they kept on the DL for a long time until js eventually found out about it. memory situation, js is raised by other folks who actually love her and doesn't learn who her blood family is until later. she joins knuckles because she feels inexplicably drawn to him (soul touch) (echidna soulmates) so she defects from the legion to join the chaotix. the soul touch thing sucks and i hate it but this is how it goes. ill talk about my au version of her at the end lol bc things ive built on top of canon are part of the reason why shes one of my fave charas in the series lul

ANYWHO i honestly find it pretty frustrating when people talk about js as just being pink knuckles, shoehorned into the story to give knuckles an obligatory girlfriend, because it really demonstrates that they like. weren't paying a lick of attention to anything because she genuinely has a LOT of personality but since people just go in anticipating anything penders touched to suck they don't even bother to think about her for longer than half a second.

js fills a niche that, imo, could always use filling, especially with regards to girl characters, which is to say shes a well meaning asshole. shes incredibly blunt, she's pessimistic (immediately assumes knuckles must be dead when enerjak returns and they cant find him, tells knuckles not to search a fallen ship that his mother was on because shes probably dead and she doesnt think he'd want to see that). shes terrible at handling interpersonal conflict (knuckles confesses to her that he feels guilty and stressed over all the pressure put on him as guardian and she scolds him and says "this isn't just about you", which results in a minor shouting match when she really had zero intention of starting an argument), she's almost constantly beefing with vector (tbf its because hes sexist he refuses to see past her history as a member of the dark legion). these might suond like cons but i love characters like this LOL and they fit especially well in archie where people love to get mad at each other and make dumb mistakes and it just feels very genuine and interesting and endearing to me. shes rough and difficult but she's also DEEPLY loyal. she'd die for knuckles and the chaotix and the way she interacts with them always makes me soooo ........ im just gonna give some examples i can find.

(knuckles is on the phone with her)

^ this was the genuine conclusion of an argument they had and im obsessed with it because both of them suck with emotions so they both give the worlds strangest apology and know that the other means it and they move on. plus putting her arm in front of SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG while theyre confronting eggman even after watching him CHAOS BLAST, primarily because she feels like this is more her fight than his (its about knuckles).

theres def more and i could find them if i was more on top of archie but unfortunately im #narutopilled rn. BUT ANYWAYS. shes just a very fun character with a messy personality and fun interactions and she loves her buddies sm even tho she bickers with them. shes just very special. she fits well with knuckles in a way that makes their relationship actually feel plausible instead of just forcing him to have a girlfriend (tho ofc the writing is fumbled sometimes like. ITS ARCHIE. bffr. but thats the case with literally everything ever in archie so you take what you can and its amazing). also see below. BASED AS FUCKKKKKKK

and ill discuss my au briefly bc u r asking me my opinion on js and that does play a large role in how i feel abt her, but rly im just expanding on elements of her story that werent discussed as fully as i wouldve liked. her relationship with lien-da is obviously BAD in canon, but theres not a lot of time spent lingering on precisely how lien-da and kragok feel about julie-su as the product of their fathers second marriage to a woman they KILLED because they hated her so much. ive also given her much more internal strife over turning away from the legion, originally joining the chaotix planning to betray them from the inside then being slowly convinced to join them for real after realizing how much she'd been brainwashed by the legion and what its like to have people who truly love and care about you. her story as someone who is trying to find herself outside of her history as a child soldier is something that TOTALLY deserves to be expanded on and its a bit sad that it wasnt explored. but i mean really im not changing her actual PERSONALITY at all because as i discussed shes oozing with it.... im honestly never going to make the full comic i wanted to so at some point im just going to compile all the lore and concept art and stuff into one big post to share. but thats like a spoiler free taste.

she also has a gun. which is fucking awesome because not enough sonic characters have guns. people make shadow the guy with a gun but he hasnt been seen with one since shth. hello....

[flamemons]

How do you think Digimon Frontier might have gone if the Spirits of Steel, Wood, and Earth had been bequeathed to Ophanimon, the Spirits of Darkness and Water had been bequeathed to Seraphimon, the Spirits of Flame, Light, Ice, Wind, and Thunder had been bequeathed to Cherubimon, and the protagonists had been Katsuharu, Teppei, Chiaki, Teruo, and Koichi (with Kouji joining later)?

im just gonna ramble whatever comes to mind lmao. i drew some stuff too!

uuh while i find it hard to care too much about those other kids because well, I don't know much about them, it is really fun thinking about how kouichi would act if he was there from the start. I think he'd be serious, in a similar way to Kouji, bc he's there on a mission, y'know! All he remembers is following his brother around until Kouji gets some weird text message (wait,,, does kouichi have a phone? probably not, huh. poor people gang ftw...) and now hes in this fuckin place! (hes a dead soul in this au too.) I'd imagine he'd be just as driven as Kouji was, if not more so, bc he KNOWS koujis gotta be here somewhere....but instead of initially trying to avoid the other kids (koujis strategy), he'd probably stick around as soon as he realizes that theyre gonna get themselves killed if they keep acting stupid. So, instead of trying to ditch the kids or act distant, he'd nag them and rush them to stay on track, and come off as kind of a bossy stick-in-the-mud at first

Side note, its easy to think of kouji as being a lot more serious and mature compared to the rest of the frontier kids, but honestly, I have to wonder if he wouldve acted differently if ophanimon wasnt calling him all the damn time telling him that he has to find answers! hes gotta get stronger! theres something he Has To Know!!! like damn if ophanimon was that specific with the other kids they'd also probably be just as sullen. anyway, kouichi would be feeling the same kind of pressure.

in an attempt to make it more interesting for me, chiaki and teruo are now siblings. or close cousins. or something. (what if they were fraternal twins?? that would be so funny actually. there is a statistically improbable amount of twins here!) AND bc i like chiaki the most i think she'd make a cool leader of sorts! like, the lancer to kouichi. kouichi ends up accidentally being the leader bc hes so driven, and chiakis like, a genuinely nice person who really wants to help the digital world as soon as she steps off the first trailmon onto the flame terminal. she also doesnt take shit from anyone. maybe she was a quiet wallflower-type kid at school, but, if its for another's sake, then she'll always speak up! so now, in the digital world, she cant stay quiet!

ah i love just making shit up. this is fun

so together, they make the most chillest leader/lancer duo ever. (hey, if they WERE to be the two Main Ones, wouldnt it be cool if their Susanoomon-type evolution was deep-sea themed? mix darkness and water together, and you get The Fucking Abyss. it could be bioluminescent! a cool way to turn "light into darkness!")

btw, im not drawing any spirit forms here bc I think these kids would have alternative spirit forms as opposed to the evil ones in the show. like, heroic looking ones (basically, no child deserves to have to spirit evolve into grottomon) BUT im no good at character design and that sounds like a lotta work. also, the other spirits (fairymon, chakkmon, agnimon, etc,) would need evil forms too then, right?? that sounds like a REALLY hard thing to try drawing, so nah. just imagine these kids spirit evolving and fighting offscreen. speaking of the other spirits though,

i want chakkmon/tomoki to try pummeling the shit out of katsuharu and teppei!! karmas a bitch!! tomoki didnt get to have his character development in this AU, bc he (probably) fell off the trailmon train tracks and got Got by cherubimon!

i like the main frontier kids too much to not include them in everything i draw Ever, so imagine that maybe they all came to the digital world alone, and wandered around until they found their respective spirits (in similar circumstances to the show) but since those spirits belongto cherubimon, theyre possessed/convinced to fight on cherubimons side!! like "oh shit i have no friends and i hate my life, yea this big evil bunny has a point lets go fuck shit up". maybe some of them are fully in control of their actions, maybe some arent. maybe some of them remember that theyre human, but maybe some of them dont....?

lastly, i have to apologize bc i got completely sidetracked bc i thought "oh takuya and kouji would be very funny as team rocket-esque villains" so heres flamon and strabimon but Evil™

i like to imagine that theyre the Most Incompetent of cherubimons Evil Guys but theyre the only two (that cherubimon knows of) that can form susanoomon so THATS why hes trying to collect all the spirits. bc of that, they DEFINITELY dont remember that theyre human. (bc of that, they also kind of dont have anything to care about, so theyre just trying to have fun)

it would be fun if they were initially kind of lame but although they may be idiots, theyre not Dumb, so they slowly become competent at the same rate as the Heroes do, and instead of a sephirothmon arc theres like.......a beowolfmon and aldamon arc??? im not a writer i dont know. watch these five kids (and counting!) get slowly hunted by two fucking Beasts in the darkest forest ever.

or maybe they do Actually manage to collect all the spirits but it goes so horribly wrong and now theres like ten goddamn kids and ten spirits mashed up in the psyche of a very unstable susanoomon and its just some fucked up Twisted psychological nightmare. digimon evangelion.

basically in this AU, there is even MORE wild tone shifts and the plot goes Absolutely Fucking Bonkers. and takuya's cosplaying Jotaro Kujo for some fucking unknown reason.

thank you for asking! this was....probably not what you were going for, but c'est la vie