#IF ALL ELSE FAILS IN MY LIFE I HAVE SKZ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skzdarlings · 2 years ago

Text

07. sharing a bed series ; skz ; seungmin

masterlist.

sharing a bed series part 7/8. because it’s the cheesiest most classic trope and it’s FUN. -

pairing: kim seungmin/reader content info: sexual content. enemies2lovers, sharing a bed trope. sassy bad girl reader, sassy good boy seungmin. handcuffed together trope. sex toys, blow jobs, strap-on blow jobs, handjobs, dick piercings, fake sex. lots of bickering, lots of moaning, lots of evil smirking hehe.

It takes about ten minutes to get through the doorway because neither you or Seungmin will concede ground. With your right hand handcuffed to his left hand, your shoulder-to-shoulder breadth is too big for the doorframe.

After some arguing, you face each other. You are glaring the entire time but you manage to force your way into the bedroom.

You can’t change clothes with the handcuffs so you head straight for the bed where you proceed to stumble around clumsily. With some cussing and your failed attempt to put him in a headlock, you and Seungmin manage to get in bed.

You lay on your backs with your handcuffed hands between you.

There is a minute of silence. Everyone else went to bed hours ago so the vacation house is silent. It’s just you and the most annoying man on earth, forcibly handcuffed together, stuck in the same bed.

“My life is a joke,” you say.

“Yeah,” Seungmin says. “Your life is a joke. Ow!”

He slaps your hand when you pinch his thigh and you smack his chin only for him to chomp at your fingers. You both roll your eyes and look away from each other for all of ten seconds, then you glare at him and he gives you a judgemental stare.

“How are you going to sleep like that?” he asks.

You raise your joined hands, the chain jingling.

“Wow, Seungmin, whatever do you mean?” you say dryly.

“Wow, Seungmin, meh-meh-beh-beh,” he mocks your tone then uses his free hand to smack your arm. It makes a crinkling sound when it collides with the leather jacket you can’t remove. “I’m talking about the skinned cow on the cow.”

“Funny.”

“The skinned cow is the leather jacket.”

“I know that.”

“And you’re the other cow.”

“I got it, Seungmin.”

“Just checking,” he says with that blithe, shit-eating grin of his. “You’re just not very smart so I wanted to be nice and check.”

This fucking guy.

Kim Seungmin is the mouthiest smartass you have ever met. A friend of your friends, the acquaintanceship has been forced on you for the sake of the overall friend group. You two are like oil and water, completely incompatible in every way. You are the denim-and-leather bad girl and he is the blazer-and-tie good boy. Equally sassy, but astronomically apart in lifestyle. You clashed from your first introduction.

You can usually manage an hour or two of civility, especially if you stay out of each other’s way, but this vacation has pushed that strained dynamic to its breaking point.

Changbin’s family owns a vacation house near a ski resort so your whole friend group is spending the winter holidays at the luxury cabin. This means you and Seungmin have been forced to interact for much longer than a few hours.

You expected some annoyance but Seungmin is an even bigger brat than you remembered. You have already spent three days at each other’s throats. Tonight you went to a party at the resort and the few hours away from him did wonders, but it only took one stupid remark for you start fighting all over again.

You didn’t even have time to remove your boots or jacket. With Seungmin, it was on sight.

Fed-up, Minho leapt off the couch and disappeared into his bedroom. The others were just groaning or slouched in their seats, shaking their heads at you and Seungmin. You couldn’t stop if you wanted to, every dry remark needing a comeback, every insult escalating.

Then Minho returned. He yanked Seungmin out of his seat and practically threw him at you. You should have let his stupid face hit the ground but your reflexes kicked in and you caught him in his flail. There were a few seconds of confusion before Minho clasped the handcuffs around you. The whole room went silent, you and Seungmin staring at the cuffs then looking at Minho.

Minho dangled the keys in your face.

“I will let you out of the handcuffs,” he spoke as if speaking to particularly stupid children, “when you overcome your differences and decide to stop ruining the holiday.”

You and Seungmin both sputtered in protest, but neither of you were brave enough to physically fight Minho for the keys. That kitty has claws, mean ones. Not even you mess with Lee Minho.

Now you and Seungmin are stuck sharing a bed. You are still fully dressed, in jeans, shirt, and leather jacket, whereas he was already dressed down in pyjama pants and a t-shirt. All he has to do is remove his glasses and he’s fine to sleep.

You, however, are dressed for a whole different kind of evening.

“Trust me,” you say with an aggrieved sigh, “the jacket is not the most uncomfortable thing I’m wearing.”

He pinches his glasses at the stem, wiggling them up-and-down like it will help him see better.

“What do you mean?” he asks. “Wait, you’re a freak, right? Is it something kinky?”

He asks it mockingly but you smile and turn your face to him, lifting an eyebrow. You get some satisfaction from the way his face contorts with realization.

“Wait, really?” he asks. “What the hell. Why? What is it?”

“You sound curious.”

You really can’t help but tease him, anticipating he will snap back with equal verve. You are surprised when his remark gets tangled on his tongue, his mouth open with no reply. The tips of his ears are faintly red.

“Oh, you are curious,” you say.

“Gross, no way.” He comes back to himself and scrunches his whole face with revulsion. “Keep it to yourself. Pervert.”

“Proudly.”

“Wow.”

You feel satisfied with the silence that follows, feeling like you finally won a conversation and sent him into a mute stupor. But then he looks at you and you brace yourself for the incoming wave of irritation.

“It’s not gonna suddenly go off or something, is it?” he asks. “I don’t want to wake up to you thrashing around like a fish on a boat deck.”

“It’s a hard packer. You know, a strap-on for wearing out? A ready-to-go, signed-sealed-and-delivered dick?” You list everything with the same pleasant smile. “Big one too.”

His face is perpetually frozen in a state of prepared ridicule so he still looks marginally judgemental, but more confused than repulsed.

“Right now?” he says. His eyes drift down to your jeans. “You wore… you wore it out?”

“Brave new world, Seungminnie,” you say, the nickname making his eye twitch despite the sarcasm in it.

“You’re lying,” he says. He doesn’t wait for you to argue; he reaches with his cuffed hand to feel for extra weight between your legs. It drags your own hand along with it, too surprised to react fast enough to stop him. He finds what he was looking for, his brow furrowing when he closes his fist over the hard bulge under your fly. “Whoa, wait, seriously?”

“Dude!” You pry his hand off, though he doesn’t go without a fight, patting it like it’s puppy. “What the hell, man. You can’t just grab someone’s dick like that.”

“Why not? It’s not real.”

“It is in a way! I can still feel it!”

“You can?” He pokes it.

“Yes.” You swat him away. “Depending on position.”

“And you wore it to the party?” he says, then whistles low and shakes his head. “Wow. You have a high opinion of yourself. Thought you were gonna get lucky?”

“I did very well for myself, thanks.”

He holds up your cuffed hands with a sarcastic look of his own.

“Not that well,” he says. “Or you wouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t tend to stay the night,” you say.

“Love ‘em and leave ‘em,” he says. “I should have known.” He sighs as if disappointed in you.

You barely register his retort, your brain jumping ahead a few paces.

Walking around with ready-to-play silicone in your pants does have a tendency to leave you teetering on the side of horny, so maybe that’s why your brain is incapable of supplying another type of plan, but a plan begins to form nonetheless.

“I have an idea,” you say.

“Breaking your wrist so you can slide out of the handcuffs?”

“Kim Seungmin, I’ll let you know that while I might have one hand out of commission, I am still capable of shoving your slipper in your mouth.”

“Kim Seungmin, meh-meh-meh, beh-beh-beh.”

“Why do I even bother?” You sigh. “Do you wanna get out of these handcuffs or not?”

“Fine.” He fiddles with his glasses and glares at you. “I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s your idea?”

You sit up and nod your head towards the wall behind the headboard.

“Minho’s room is on the other side of this wall, isn’t it?” you ask.

“Yes,” he replies, warily. “Why?”

“Let’s pretend to have noisy sex.”

“What!” He sits upright too, the cuffs jingling again.

“We can bang the headboard against the wall,” you add.

“What the hell is that supposed to accomplish, you idiot?”

“Two things,” you say. “One: that we have clearly resolved our differences through the release of sexual tension. And two: if we are exceptionally noisy about it, it will piss him off enough to want to separate us again.”

“That is a terrible plan,” he says, which is not a rejection. “Besides there’s no sexual tension between us. There’s no way he’d believe it.”

“Well then,” you say, leaning closer to his face, “you better put on a believable performance to make up for it, hm?”

You expected him to lean back but he didn’t move, so you find yourself nose-to-nose and locked in a staring contest. It is so quiet that you can hear every intake of breath. His gaze goes from your eyes to your lap and back again, jaw clenching.

“Fine,” he says. “I’m only willing to try because I’d rather chew off my hand than spend the night with you—”

“I mean, you can try that too,” you say.

“Shut up.” He grabs the collar of your jacket and jerks you around. “Just get down.”

“Uh, get down?” You push when you realize he is trying to wrestle you onto your back. You lift your joined hands off the bed so he loses his balance. “You get down. I’m on top.”

“Can you relax?” he says, scrambling back upright. “We’re not actually having sex, you uptight weirdo.”

“Yeah, but do you think those skinny arms can push this headboard against the wall?”

“I think these skinny arms can push you off the bed.”

“I think those skinny arms will find themselves following.”

You tussle for a good minute, pushing at each other’s faces and tugging each other’s shirts. Your physical strength overpowers his but he isn’t hindered by a stupid leather jacket. Already a bit sweaty and exhausted, you surrender with an aggravated huff.

“Fine, try it then,” you say, flopping on your back. You stubbornly cross your arms, trapping his cuffed hand in your arm.

“Let me go,” he says, trying to wrest his arm back.

“I’m not doing anything. Ahh, stop that!”

He tires to lick you. Tongue out, he dives at your head. He only stops when you snatch his glasses off his face, at which point he climbs on top of you to try and grab them back.

“Stop it. This is so immature,” he says, stretching to reach your own outstretched arm.

“Immature?” you ask, aghast. “You were trying to lick me!”

“That was different.”

“How?”

“Because you suck,” he says.

He manages to get his glasses back. He sticks out his tongue as he puts them on his face.

You tussle a little more, shuffling around and swiping at each other. Eventually you get to the middle of the bed with him still straddling your hips. Your cuffed arm lifts when he grips the headboard with both hands. He strains for one pitiful push. His hair bounces but the headboard barely hits the wall.

You lift an eyebrow.

“Shut up,” he says.

“I didn’t say anything,” you reply.

“I can hear your ugly face.”

“That’s a you problem.”

He ignores you and braces himself to push on the headboard again. All the beds are extravagantly woodworked pieces, the headboards dense and heavy. Despite the proximity to the wall, you are not surprised it takes effort to actually make the bed bounce.

Seungmin, to his credit, does not give up easily. He braces his shoulders, but this time when he pushes he rocks with his whole body.

Unfortunately, this does drag almost all his weight against the toy in your pants. You are wearing the kind of underwear designed to support a toy, the base of it separated from your clit by only a strip of fabric. When he rocks against you, it grinds there, and your hands instinctively fly to grab his hips.

It knocks him a bit off balance because your cuffed hand drags his down too. He puts that hand over yours, cupped around his hip, and glares down at you.

“What the hell was that?” he asks.

You let go of his hips immediately.

“Nothing,” you say.

He looks at you with a scrutinizing eye, then looks down, then up again. You hold his gaze unflinchingly, at least until he rocks again and a little spark of heat goes off inside you.

“Can you feel that?” he asks. He asks it matter-of-factly, peering down at you from behind his big round glasses, sitting comfortably in his stupid pyjamas.

“Yes,” you speak in as steady a voice as you can, because you will not show weakness first. “There are only a couple positions where I can feel it strongly. This… is… one of them.”

“Wow,” he says. He looks genuinely reflective for a minute, then he grins one of his evil grins. “So… you can feel when I do this?” He puts his free hand on the middle of your chest and leans forward so he grinds against you at a different angle, his own bulge pushing against yours.

“Ohmyff—” You grab his hips again, freezing him while he snickers above you. “Dude.”

“Just checking,” he says. He grabs the headboard and pushes again. The thud is a soft one.

You clench your jaw, annoyed and wound up. You grab his waist and roll over in one fluid motion, knocking some wind out of him when you thump him on his back. His thighs clench instinctively to hold onto your hips, his legs still around your waist when you grab the headboard and shove it several times in a row.

His cuffed arm is above his head, hand dangling under your grip on the headboard. His glasses are askew from the flip, his legs still open around yours. He stares at you, however crookedly through the tilted glasses. Your breathing is heavy in the quiet room. He swallows.

You break the silence with a pointed, “Well?”

“Well, what?” he asks just as roughly.

“Moan or yell or something. Whatever you normally do in bed.”

“I’m normally quiet.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you say dryly. “Since that mouth never stops.”

“Why don’t you moan?”

“Because I’m in charge of bed pushing.” To make your point, you rock the bed some more, pushing slightly against him with the motion. The headboard hits the wall for a few rhythmic thumps.

He fixes his glasses with his free hand, still frowning at you. That hand freezes on his glasses when you shrug your coat off your free arm, too hot to keep wearing it. It will only get caught on the handcuffs if you push it down the other arm so you leave it hanging off your shoulder. You put your hand back on the headboard, muscles flexing with the next shove. His eyes go to your arm.

“Well?” you say.

He looks at you. It’s a cold, unfeeling stare, followed by an annoyed puff of a breath.

Then he makes a sound, a small, rough moan in the back of his throat. You are certain only you can hear it. He looks right at you while doing it, legs still accommodating your shape, on his back with an open mouth while glaring at you despite the noises.

It is, in a word, hot. Hot as fucking hell. Oh god. You are not getting turned on by Kim Seungmin. Absolutely not.

He moans again, closing his eyes and shifting with the next push, as if he can really feel it. He cants his hips and falls back again. He moans one more time.

Ah, you think. Fuck.

You stop shoving the bed for a second, breathless and not from exertion.

You clear your throat. Seungmin is still staring at you. You stare back, then your gaze drifts. The leather jacket starts to slip down your shoulder so you tug it back up. You gulp.

“You’re hard,” you say, a very basic observation. His soft pyjama pants leave little to the imagination.

He drops his legs from around your waist, but you are between his thighs so he can’t quite close them. He plants his feet on the bed and glares up at you.

“So are you,” he says.

“Mine’s not real,” you say.

“Ohh, so now it’s not real?” He rolls his eyes. “Sorry, I can’t keep up with Schrodinger’s dick.”

“You know what I mean, smartass.”

“If anything yours is more real,” he says. “Your dick is more deliberate than mine. I can’t control my hard-on but you put one there on purpose.”

That logic is a weirdly difficult to argue. You try to think of a witty comeback but your brain is more than a little fried.

“So,” is all you say, at a loss.

He stares up at you for another second, then pushes himself upright. You let his cuffed hand lead yours, at least until you realize he is bringing his hands to the button of your jeans. You seize his cuffed hand and tug it away.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you ask.

“What do you think I’m doing?” he asks contemptuously. He even snarls.

Despite the viciousness, he dives in without waiting for an answer. He uses his free hand as a guide, but otherwise he leans forward and clamps his teeth around the button. He works it open quickly, then takes the zipper in his mouth and yanks it down.

You let go of his hand, surprised. He uses both hands to fish the toy out of your pants.

He balks at it.

“You walked around with this all night?” he asks, looking up at you.

Fuck. It is literally right by his face. It looks obscene. Your figures twitch with the urge to cup his chin.

“Yes,” you answer in a low voice. “It’s my preferred method of, uh, action.”

“Action,” he repeats, smiling like the word is a hilarious punchline. He even cackles a little. “Action,” he repeats. “Not ‘making love?’” His tone is drole.

“Not really the making love type,” you say.

“Wow,” he says. His eyes flick to your toy dick, just millimeters from his face. He pushes his glasses up his nose. He glances up at you with that evil smile. “Same,” he says.

Then suddenly he has his mouth wrapped around the end of it, looking up at you as he sucks on it.

For a second, you think you have gone completely insane, because you swear you can feel it. Your clit and pussy and every other body part rears to life with sudden, unbidden arousal.

“Jesus fucking—” you start.

He pops off your dick with a wet sound. He licks his lips.

“Hmm,” he says, eying it thoughtfully. “Tastes funny. Could you feel that?”

“Kinda,” you squeak. “In a way.”

“Got it.”

Is this even turning him on? His dick is filling out his pyjama pants so you think so, but he is also approaching the entire thing like it can be hacked through a scientific algorithm. He studies the toy with a lot of scrutiny, as if he is calculating the mechanics of it.

“You don’t have to—” you start, but then suddenly his mouth is back on the end of it, his free hand is in the middle of it, and he is pushing it back against you, clearly having figured out you can feel the part against your clit. He grinds it there, up and down, bobbing his head and staring up at you.

It is usually fairly difficult to reach orgasm this way but he takes you the edge in an almost terrifying speed run, then abruptly stops. He takes in a deep breath, a huge wad of spit connecting his lips to the end of the toy.

“Did that do something?” he asks, wiping his mouth.

Your jacket slips down your arm and catches on the handcuffs. You stare at him.

“Uhhh…” you say, voice guttural. “Yes.”

He grins, looking immensely satisfied with himself.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he says. “I thought it would be more complicated. I’m guessing gravity works in your favour when someone sits on it?”

Yes, that is your brain spilling out of your ear in a big, mushy goop.

“Uh, yeah,” you say. “Yeah.” What the fuck else are you supposed to say?

He suddenly narrows his eyes at you, his regard suspicious even while he starts jerking the toy with his free hand.

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

You show him the only way that makes sense, leading his cuffed hand to your pants and nudging the toy aside so he can slip his fingers past it. He freezes completely when he feels how turned on you are, looking up at you as he returns his now wet fingers to himself.

“Oh,” he says. He looks at his fingertips. “I see.”

Then he grins at you and puts his fingers in his mouth.

“Right,” you say. “Got it.”

You grab him and put him on his back again, reaching immediately for his waistband. You have barely grasped the material when you are suddenly shoved back, his foot planted squarely in the middle of your chest.

“Slippers first,” he says.

He is just being difficult. You know that, but you indulge the little brat anyway, glaring at him while removing his stupid slipper. You toss it behind you and he switches feet, shoving his other one in the same spot. He smiles at you, leaning back on his elbows at tapping his slippered toes against your heart. You shake your head but remove that one too. Before he can try any more funny business, you grab him under the knee and push his knees back to his chest. His glasses slip a little again. His cuffed hand can’t leave yours, hooked under his knee, so his free hand awkwardly reaches up to fix them.

“Careful,” he says, like you’ve been the unreasonable one in any way, shape, or form.

“I’ll try,” you say dryly, then reach for his waistband.

You get the material barely shuffled past his hips when your jaw falls open.

“Hold on,” you say, fingers reaching for his twitching dick. “No way. No way.”

Kim Seungmin. Blazer-and-tie good boy. Pristine socialite. Arrogant snob. High society darling. Spoiled brat. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.

He has a classically beautiful piercing on the head of his dick.

He opens his mouth to speak, his expression revealing it is about to be some mouthy retort, but it turns into a gasp when you run your thumb up and over, teasing at it, gathering a not-inconsiderable amount of precum and stroking the whole length of him.

“Aren’t you pretty,” you say, circling the most sensitive cluster of nerves with your thumb. It makes his thighs twitch and his shoulders shake.

“S-surprised?” he asks.

“Honestly, yeah,” you admit.

He looks very satisfied with that, grinning at you. That evil smile drives you crazy so you flash a grin of your own then dive down.

His fake moans were pretty close to his real ones, but his real ones are louder as you expected. He has to bite his fist to keep the sound down. You rise, wiping at your mouth and glaring at him.

“Louder,” you say. “Remember?”

“Oh, right.” He drops his hand. “Your stupid plan. Okay. Continue.” He waves you onward like a prince, thumping his head back on the pillows.

He is so annoying. He really does have a pretty dick, though. Drawing real moans out of him is more fun than arguing over fake ones, and he makes some exceptionally lovely sounds when you put your mouth on him. He starts gasping when he gets close, his face scrunching up, but he grabs your head and stops before he gets there fully.

You look at him with a questioning eyebrow lift but move when he nudges you. He gets on his knees so you are kneeling in front of each other, then he guides your hand back to his dick at the same time he curls his fingers around the base of your toy.

Your eyes are heavy-lidded and your mouths are close together but not touching. It feels like another contest, to see who will give in and kiss the other person first, even while your hands are way past that stage.

Fuck it, you think when he gets a bit whiny, breathing hard against your lips. You clasp your free hand around his neck and drag him close for a kiss. It makes him come, his back locking and mouth opening under yours. He wouldn’t be Seungmin if he didn’t try and turn a kiss into a fight, licking at you with messy intensity. The rapid back-and-forth of his tongue coupled with his skilled hand takes you over the edge too.

You get a bit euphorically giggly when you come, smiling against his mouth.

Seungmin turns unexpectedly clingy, putting his free arm around your neck and burying his face in your shoulder. He holds so tightly that you fall, flopping onto the bed with him still nestled against you.

You lay there for a bit, him still hiding, your heavy breathing slowing to a more normal cadence. Eventually he lifts his head and exhales. He adjusts his crooked glasses then grins.

“I won,” he says.

“You can’t win at sex,” you reply.

“Yes you can, and I just did. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“Oh my god.”

Your exchange passes with far less animosity than usual. You still side-eye each other while dealing with your respective dicks. It’s a little easier for him to pull up his pants one-handed than it is for you to wrestle a toy out of an O-ring, but you do succeed. You let it roll off the edge of the bed, watching and listening as it thumps onto the floor.

You look over Seungmin who was watching too. When you make eye contact, you both start laughing. It turns the whole scene into an unusually affectionate one. Figuring you might as well commit, you hold his cuffed hand in your own. He rolls closer, eying you with those perpetually mischievous eyes.

Then suddenly the bedroom door flies open. It smashes into the wall, startling both of you.

Minho walks up to the bed and chucks the keys at you, glares, then turns and leaves the room. He slams the door shut behind him.

You and Seungmin look at each other then down at the keys.

“Told you,” you say.

“Don’t rub it in.”

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

He licks your cheek unprompted, then unlocks the cuffs while you complain and wipe your face. It has you so distracted that you are a second too late realizing he has another dastardly plan in mind.

Your wrist is still cuffed. He takes the now empty half and clasps it around one of the intricate loops in the headboard. You tug on it then look at him.

“Kim Seungmin,” you say.

“Kim Seungmin,” he repeats in that mocking voice, grinning as he climbs up over you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you ask, trying not to smile at his wicked grin as he starts kissing under your chin and down your chest.

“What do you think I’m doing?” he asks. “I’m winning.”

You decide not to argue for once. It goes without saying you both won this round.

#skz smut #stray kids smut #kim seungmin smut #kim seungmin x reader #skz x reader #seungmin x reader

2K notes · View notes

starlostseungmin · 10 months ago

Text

stray kids ─── as one direction songs.

✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader

✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?

✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.

✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly

masterlist | taglist.

chan ─── perfect

honorable mention: little things

you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else.

chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way.

you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him.

“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”

lee know ─── night changes

he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship.

but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential.

your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on.

you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore.

changbin ─── temporary fix

honorable mention: i want to write you a song

changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit.

temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high.

there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while.

the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.

hyunjin ─── last first kiss

remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love.

hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is.

last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love.

“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.

han ─── rock me

honorable mention: midnight memories

rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets.

you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest.

then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.

but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had.

felix ─── why don’t we go there

honorable mention: kiss you

felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label.

having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away.

he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things.

it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.

seungmin ─── no control

night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time.

and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time.

nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time.

and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.

jeongin ─── summer love

honorable mention: fool's gold.

loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps.

it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end.

and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live.

you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

261 notes · View notes

linos-luna · 1 year ago

Text

Yandere Stray Kids Profiles 🔪

My headcannons for Yandere Skz.

—————————— 🔪 ——————————

Bang Chan

Manipulative and controlling

Chan doesn’t need to hurt you. He can charm you into doing whatever he wants. He can control who you talk to or where you go and you wouldn’t even realize it. He love bombs you and hits all your insecurities. On the rare chance that he does get mad, he’ll punish you by a spanking. But he apologizes afterwards and makes you believe you deserved it.

• He’s so sweet and loving

.• gives you everything you could ever want.

• spoils you and tells you nice things.

• he has successfully cut off your friends and family. But you don’t know that. He says they abandoned you.

• you might develop Stockholm Syndrome

• he’s all you need.

• Always gaslighting you

• you call him Daddy.

• A rule he’s very strict about

• He’ll spank you if you make him mad.

• and make you explain what you did wrong

• then tell you it hurt him more than you.

• and you believe him. He’s so loving! How could you make him so angry?

“Daddy is very disappointed in you…”

“Why would you do that, babygirl?”

“Whatever you want, I’ll buy it for you!”

“Do you want daddy to touch you? To make you feel good?”

“Daddy would never hurt you.”

Minho

Unhinged but controlling

Unhinged is putting it lightly. He loves you desperately and believes you love him too. Unlike Chan, he is not so subtle when controlling you. He loves being in control. And he’s not afraid to hurt you.

• He’ll snap at you at random.

• obsessed with everything you do

• rarely lets you go out but when you do, he always stalks you.

• rules he expects you to follow

- call him oppa

- kisses everday!

- wear only what he wants you to wear

- NO talking back…

• He WILL punish you

• lock you in the closet or spank you

• actually, he looks for any excuse to do so

• He loves to bend you over his lap and spank you, making you count each one

Changbin

Violent… sometimes unintentional

Changbin is very short tempered. Being with him is like walking on eggshells: but he doesn’t want to hurt you. Not at all! But sometimes he fails to realize his strength.

• He just wants you by his side all the time

• Always hold his hand in public

• or else he’ll pull you close.

• might dislocate your shoulder.

• but he doesn’t mean it!

• but sometimes you make him snap and he’ll yell or slam fists on the table.

• you better hide before you end up in his crossfire

• He will spank you you as a last resort

“Come here, why are you so distant?”

“Why did you make me hurt you?!”

“Im sorry that I love you so much!”

“You make me crazy.”

Hyunjin

Delusional and hopeless romantic

Hyunjin believes you are soulmates. He believes you are the love of his life and wants to please you. Rather than facing reality, he rather stay in this delusion…

• desperate for you

• cherishes and practically worships you

• not very violent but immediately remorseful if he hurts you

• will do everything for you

• you don’t even have to walk

• but you can’t go out without him, even in the backyard

• keeps you away from windows

• can’t taint your skin to the sun rays!

• easily jealous

• writes you poems and makes you are

“Sorry! Sorry! Darling, I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“You’re the love of my life!”

“Anything for you, love.”

Han

Psychotic and Craves attention 24/7

He’s very needy and constantly wants your attention. If you don’t give it to him, he get mad- no. Furious. How dare you reject him. You’re supposed to love him! I mean, he takes care of you right?

• give him all your attention!

• never mention another boy around him!

• even if it’s like a brother or cousin

• if you don’t give him attention, he’ll get very accusatory

• He’ll think you’re cheating!

• then he gets crazy

• starts speaking nonsense

• and getting violent.

“Why did you leave?? Were you cheating??”

“Noona, who are you talking to?”

“Hey! Get off your phone! Love me!”

“Cheater! How dare you!”

Felix

Subby yandere?

Felix acts like an innocent boy. There’s no way he’s bad. He just wants you to love him and take care of him. But sometimes he gets angry and loses his composure.

• Wants you to be with him all the time. Why would you leave him?

• he’d never hurt you right?

• well if he loses composure, then he will.

• he wants to be your cute subby boy…

• for you to love him and cuddle

• and if you break that he’ll get angry.

• He’ll throw a fit and kick and punch

• Play along if you wanna keep the peace

“No that’s not right! I thought you loved me!”

“Don’t leave me, I’m sowwy 🥺”

Seungmin

Stotic and unpredictable

It’s a little unnerving how calm Seungmin can be. You’re never sure what exactly he’s going to do at any given moment. Sometimes he’s fine, but then he’s yelling at you.

• he’s obsessed with you but doesn’t outwardly show it

• gives you lots of rules

• some you didn’t even know were rules until he gets mad

• he likes making you nervous

• likes controlling you

• hates when you don’t listen

• will suddenly yell in your face.

• threatens you with violence but won’t actually do it

• but then be calm and want to cuddle

“Sweetheart… what are you doing?”

“Did I say you were allowed to talk to her?”

“Bad girl!!”

“Sit down!”

“C’mon baby, let’s go lay down and watch movies ☺️”

Jeongin

Manipulative

Jeongin knows he’s cute. He knows you find him adorable. So he uses that to his advantage. He’ll get you to do anything he wants.

• He would prevent you from going to see family or friends by coincidentally getting hurt

• Your baby is in pain! You must help him!

• constantly injures him actually

• will do anything for your attention

• Says your friend is mean to him. Of course you believe him! Maybe she’s jealous. No need to see her anymore.

“Noona! Where are you going? My stomach hurts. I think I’m sick.”

“I missed you all day. Why don’t you spend time with me?”

“I didn’t mean it, noona! I’m sorry!” 🥺

738 notes · View notes

changbinsboobs · 2 months ago

Note

I.n. reading and we finish series boobie

Skz Husband Series: I.N

One of the best ones so far, if not the best🙌🏻

He would be a very loving husband, putting lots of emphasize on romance, quality time together, showing love towards one another and just being happily in love! Thats literally the first card i pulled which jumped out so quick before i even finished my question. This is also the card/energy that sets the tone for the whole reading, like im feeling that presence in all of the following cards afterwards.

He's very very giving and very devoted, in fact sometimes he may even give a bit too much, where his partner may begin taking him for granted so that may be something he should watch out for. When in love and in a committed relationship like marriage, i see him being very focused on the relationship and placing it really really high on his priority list, if not even at the very top. Most of his energy and thought goes towards it, i see him as someone that, when its long term and promising - really doesn't fear "investing" so much into it because in the long run its worth it.

I see him having high emotional understanding, maturity even, idk what exact word for it is but when you understand ur own feelings, can operate them in situations...ugh just in general he's good with feelings thats what im trying to say. He doesn't shy away from them, he feels them, accepts them, can express them - appropriately and knows what they mean for him and for others.

This is a great quality, tho it may result in some frustration if his partner isn't on the same emotional literacy level as him, or isn't that much into touchy feely stuff. I see him sometimes missing that or feeling a bit neglected/unfulfilled/rejected. Tho im not seeing that being a very big issue, just something little that would come up often throughout the marriage, at least initially.

Furthermore i see him being a big team player, and having the mindset of "we together". Idk why (probably cuz i've been rewatching himym for the 87th time) but this energy reminds me a bit of marshal and lily when they started merging into one person😂 i think this is something he would love. Ughhh how to put that energy into word?! He just loves being a part of a team, especially when that team member is the love of his life and he gets to build a family with them and be their partner in crime and their best friend and their advisor and their lover and their teacher and get to be their healer, friend, and much much more. U get what i mean? Also he's very easy to work and partner with, im really getting that strongly. (And immediately im getting the polar opposite of comparisons like changbin, han or chan (lol 3racha) that i think have a very difficult energy to partner with in general...different aspects, in different ways, but regardless even if they try and actually manage to play well for an amount if time, int he long run they fail, whilst I.N is just a natural in teamwork/partnership)

He's passionate, has a high libido, loves having sex, wants lots of it, is easily excitable and is good at it. Or at least like giving pleasure as much as receiving. His goal is cumming - for both. His all for the amazing experience.

Theres also a sense of childlike wonder here i think the relationship/marriage will be all in all very innocent and pure in nature, will flow easily without much turbulations and problems, again pure in intentions, communication, love etc. and i can see them becoming this middle aged and even old couple where both of them are still very young at heart and still love each other very much, despite being 80, u would think they're still in their 20s and just started dating (🥺thats so cute omg😭✨🙌🏻💗)

Now i literally have the death card and heard "till death do us apart" - idk what else to say to that, it speaks for itself. He has (will have) an undying love for his spouse, needless to say he will be loyal and faithful and have their back. He's ready to put in effort to progress the relationship, keep the spark alive after years, keep the love between the two, have a beautiful healthy marriage, keep both of them happy and just be a good husband, father, son and whatever else. Of course that would be most likely reciprocated, i hope so. But since thats the energy im getting from him i assume his partner will be similar.

#skz #asks #stray kids #kpop #tarot reading #i.n skz #kpop tarot #skz headcanons #skz reactions #skz imagines #skz tarot #stray kids tarot #i.n tarot

52 notes · View notes

soolh1k · 2 years ago

Text

Skz ghosting you ! (pt 2)

notes: english is not my first language so apologies for any misspelling or grammar. i hope u like it !! :))) this is only the maknae line

type: text post | narrated text

genre: angst w fluff

WARNINGS: swearing, a little bit angsty, mentions of ed, let me know if you'd like me to tag u :)

Maknae line pt1 | Hyung line pt2

----------------------------------------------------------

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Han Jisung

The days were passing, and you felt that things were worsening between the two of you. You never dared to respond to the message he sent you; you were deeply hurt, and all you could do was cry in your mother's arms. However, your mother was tired of seeing you in such pain, so she met with your boyfriend, they talked things through, and they prepared a small surprise for you.

One day, coming back from work, you found a letter placed on your bed. Curiously, you opened it and realized it was from your boyfriend.

To my love bug,

I deeply apologize from the bottom of my heart if my actions have caused you any pain. I sincerely regret any mistakes I've made and the impact they may have had on our relationship. Instead of simply seeking forgiveness, I want to express the profound love and affection I have for you.

I am incredibly grateful for your unwavering concern and care towards me. Your support and understanding mean the world to me, and I want you to know that my love for you is immeasurable.

Thank you sincerely, from the depths of my heart, for always being there for me. Your presence in my life brings immense joy and happiness. I cherish every moment spent with you, and I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you deeply and unconditionally.

My love for you knows no boundaries. It surpasses all limitations and reaches the depths of my soul. You are the one who brightens my darkest days and fills my heart with warmth and happiness. I love you with all my heart, and I want you to feel the intensity of my affection.

Words fail to adequately express the depth of my love for you. It is an overwhelming feeling that consumes me entirely. My love for you is infinite. I cannot envision my life without you, and I want to spend every moment by your side, sharing an everlasting love.

You complete me in ways I never thought possible. Your presence has brought immeasurable happiness and fulfillment into my life. I wholeheartedly love you with every fiber of my being. There is no doubt in my mind that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Please understand that my love for you is unconditional. Regardless of the challenges we may face, I will always be by your side, supporting and loving you with all my heart. You are the most important person in my life, and I want to bring you happiness in every way possible.

I want you to know that my love for you is incomparable. It surpasses all other emotions and takes precedence over everything else in my life. You are my world, my everything. I love you more than words can express, and I am committed to making you feel loved and adored every single day.

I want to assure you that my love for you is not fleeting or temporary. It is a love that will endure the test of time. You mean everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving and caring for you.

Please accept my sincere apologies and my declaration of love. I am truly sorry for any pain I may have caused, and I promise to continually strive to become a better person for you. You are my greatest love, and I will do everything within my power to make you feel loved, respected, and appreciated.

Once again, I apologize for any mistakes I've made, and I want you to know that my love for you knows no limits. You are my everything, and I will love you wholeheartedly, with a love that knows no bounds.

With all my love, Han Jisung.

As soon as you finished reading the letter, you cried as if there was no tomorrow. It continued until you felt arms wrapping around you. You knew it was

him, so you let him embrace you. You knew everything was going to be better now. It was just the two of you, and nothing could ever separate you.

----------------------------------------------------------

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Lee Felix

It had been about a week since you hadn't been eating properly, hydrating yourself, or getting much sleep. It was obvious that you had lost a couple of pounds, but that was the least of your concerns. You had lost your boyfriend, and that hurt much more than the hunger. You couldn't bear being away from him; it was really affecting you, and if someone didn't do something quickly, you could end up in a very bad state.

You were lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling when suddenly you heard the doorbell ring. But knowing how your friends were, it was probably them outside your house, pleading for you to come out and go eat. That's one of the reasons why you turned off your cellphone; you just wanted to be alone. However, they didn't seem to give up, so tiredly, you went to open the door, only to find the person you least expected.

"Oh my God, Angel, are you okay? What happened to you? Have you eaten? You don't look good at all!" Your boyfriend bombarded you with questions, clearly concerned. "What are you doing here, Felix?" you asked, surprised. "I came to apologize for how stupid I've been," he said, unable to meet your eyes. You looked terrible, and you didn't want this to be your first encounter after everything. "Let me apologize, please. Just listen to me, and if you want me to leave, it's okay, but please listen to me. I need you." You simply nodded and let him in.

“I am deeply sorry for the pain I have caused you by ignoring you. I regret my actions and the impact they have had on our relationship.

I want to sincerely apologize for the times I neglected you and failed to respond to your messages. I understand now how hurtful and frustrating it must have been for you. Please know that it was never my intention to make you feel ignored or unimportant.

Your presence in my life is invaluable, and I deeply appreciate your love and support. I am grateful for the care and concern you have shown me, and I want you to know that my love for you is endless.

I acknowledge my mistakes and the hurt I have caused, and I’ll try to rebuild our relationship.

Please understand that my actions were not a reflection of my love for you. I have realized the importance of open communication and actively engaging in our relationship. I want to assure you that I will make every effort to be more present and attentive, and to show you the love and respect you deserve.

I understand that rebuilding trust takes time and patience, and I am willing to put in the necessary effort. I want to be the partner you can rely on and confide in, someone who values and cherishes you above all else.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies, and know that I am dedicated to becoming a better person and a better partner for you. I love you deeply, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right between us.

Once again, I am truly sorry for ignoring you and causing you pain. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give us another chance. Our love is worth fighting for, and I promise to make you feel loved, and respected every single day.”

You were surprised; you didn't expect him to say that. He was truly sorry, and he didn't want things to end between you. You felt foolish for having thought such negative things.

"Oh my God, I thought I had lost you, Felix. I was really depressed. But I know that everything is better when we're together. I forgive you, and I always will, so please never leave again." You looked into his eyes for the first time, and that's when you realized how much you loved that guy. "No way am I leaving, nor am I letting you go. Please take care of yourself, my love. I need you to be well and healthy. I love you." He hugged you as if it were the last thing he would do, and you whispered back an "I love you" to him.

----------------------------------------------------------

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Kim Seungmin

You didn't even want to see Seungmin, but as luck would have it, you ran into him at a café where you used to go together. It was obvious that your heart led you to that place, hoping to see him once more. You didn't want to lose him if you were honest, but your pride also prevented you from talking to him. You couldn't make a single decision.

"Blossom?" you heard someone say behind you. Your mind told you not to turn around, but your heart was stronger. "Seung?" you asked in return. "I thought I would never see you again. Can we talk?" Once again, your heart responded for you, and you simply nodded. You sat at a table, and he was the first to speak. "Just listen to me, okay? After that, I'll leave, if that's what you want, but let me apologize properly." You muttered a small yes, and then he began to speak.

"I regret allowing my fears and doubts to overshadow our relationship and cause you pain. I am truly sorry for the hurt I have caused you.

My insecurities got the best of me, and instead of opening up and communicating with you, I withdrew and left you in confusion and uncertainty. I understand now that my actions were unfair and unjustifiable.

Please know that my behavior never showed how much I care about you. In fact, it was quite the opposite. My fear of being vulnerable and the fear of rejection clouded my judgment and prevented me from expressing my true feelings for you.

I understand that my ghosting has left you feeling abandoned and hurt. I want to assure you that I am working on addressing and overcoming my insecurities. I am trying to become a better person for myself and for our relationship.

I apologize for not trusting in the love and connection we shared. You deserved better than being left in the dark, and I am truly sorry for the pain I caused you during that time.

I want to rebuild the trust we once had and make amends for my actions. I am willing to put in the effort to communicate openly, honestly, and consistently. Your feelings and needs are important to me, and I want to create a safe space where we can address any insecurities together.

Please accept my sincere apologies for ghosting you. I am working on myself and our relationship, and I hope that you can forgive me. I adore our connection, and I promise to be more present and transparent in the future.

I am truly sorry, and I want to make things right between us. Thank you for your patience and understanding." With that said, he stood up from his seat, but he couldn't even take a step when he felt your arms around him.

"You should have told me that earlier, you idiot. I thought you no longer loved me and just ignored me to end things between us. Seungmin, I will always be there for you through thick and thin. We promised to be together forever. I won't leave you alone in this. I love you, and my heart always will," you said, resting your head on his back as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"I won't let you go that easily, Blossom," he assured you, planting a kiss on your cheek.

----------------------------------------------------------

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Yang Jeongin

It had been about two weeks since Jeongin had gone on tour. Being honest with yourself, you knew that each passing day was pure agony, and you could no longer bear the feeling of abandonment. Did things have to end so badly? You wanted everything to go back to normal, hoping it was all just a nightmare and that you would wake up in your boyfriend's arms. But every morning, you woke up in an empty and cold bed.

One day, as you were coming out of the shower, you heard the doorbell of your apartment. It was the receptionist informing you that a package had been delivered for you. It surprised you because you hadn't ordered anything, but you said it was okay and that you would pick it up. They told you that the delivery person was already on their way up, so you just waited for the knock on the door.

You were greeted with a large teddy bear, some flowers, and a letter. You signed for them, still in awe of the surprise. Just as you were lost in your thoughts, a phone call interrupted you. Without even checking who was calling, you answered.

"Did you receive my gift?" a sweet voice asked gently.

"Yes, Jeongin, what's all this?" you replied.

"Please read the letter first, and then you can scream at me all you want," he said.

You followed his advice and started reading the letter that came with the gift:

"I'm really sorry for the pain and confusion I caused by ignoring you. I thought it would somehow make me feel less lonely, but now I see how selfish and hurtful that was. I messed up, and I'm truly sorry for the distress it caused you.

I messed up by shutting you out and not realizing how important it is to communicate openly. I didn't mean to make you feel abandoned or unimportant. I know I betrayed our relationship and the trust we had.

Please understand that my behavior didn't reflect how I truly felt about you. In fact, it was the opposite. I was just trying to deal with my own emotions in the wrong way. I now realize that true strength comes from facing our challenges together, not running away from them.

I understand the importance of actively engaging with you, listening to your concerns, and making you feel valued and loved.

I feel really bad for the pain and confusion I caused, and I promise to put in the work to regain your trust. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort, and I'm ready to invest in both. I'll be open, honest, and consistent in my communication with you. I want you to know that I hear you and understand you.

I'm truly sorry for being ignorant and avoiding you. I want you to know that I'll learn from this experience and grow as an individual and as your partner.

I understand if you need some time and space to heal from what I did, but I hope you can forgive me and give us a chance to make things right. Our love is worth fighting for, and I'm determined to be the partner you deserve."

"Don't cry, doll. Forgive me, okay? I want to do things right this time. When I come back, love me more than ever. Love me as if there's no tomorrow, just like I love you," he said.

"I've always loved you, Innie, come back safe and sound. I forgive you. You knew from the beginning that I would forgive you. Thank you for all the gifts. I love you infinitely," you said, and you could even sense Innie's beautiful smile. Everything is going to be alright from now on.

----------------------------------------------------------

Tags !!

@albaficaslover

@damselettism

#skz angst #skz reactions #skz imagines #skz stay #skz x reader #skz bang chan #skz changbin #skz hyunjin #skz scenarios #skz series #skz texts #stray kids #skz seungmin #skz felix #skz jeongin #skz han #skz minho #skz fluff

475 notes · View notes

j-onedrabbles · 2 years ago

Text

𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 (𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆) 𝒑𝒕 2

✧ PAIRING: SKZ X READER ✧ CW: BSF TO LOVERS, BSF!SKZ, GN!READER, HAN CALLS READER BABY, KISSES, CUDDLING, I.N CALLS READER BABE ✧ WC: 1.6K ✧ NOTE: ✧ HYUNG LINE PT 1|MAKNAE LINE PT 1 ✧ HYUNG LINE|MAKNAE LINE

❥han

Han practically rushed to (Y/n)’s place. Food in hand and wearing their favorite sweater of his. He waited impatiently for the door to open, bouncing a little.

(Y/n) wiped their eyes as they opened the door. Still, semi-crying over their group chat.

“Oh, baby,” Han sighed as he moved to hug his friend.

(Y/n) started crying again as his arms enveloped them. Han cradled their head as his other hand held the food. “I got ya,” Han attempted to soothe them, “Let's go have a seat.”

Han coaxed them over to the couch and put down the bag of food. He wrapped his friend securely in his arms and let them cry. Han eventually laid back with them on a ton of him to be more comfortable, humming a soft tune.

After some time, (Y/n) managed to calm down and sniffled. “Life sucks,” (Y/n) stated

“Not entirely.”

“I guess, but right now it sucks.”

“We can make it better though.”

“Ji, you know how many dates I’ve been on and how those relationships failed.”

“We haven’t tried though.”

“What?” (Y/n) asked as they sat up and looked at him

“What?” Han asked; all confidence he had in his last statement was gone as he looked wide-eyed at his friend

“What did you say?”

“What did I say?”

“Jisung.”

“That’s me.”

“What did you say.” It wasn’t a question now, they needed to make sure they were hearing things.

“We haven’t tried… dating.” the tips of Han’s ears were red now.

(Y/n) knew they weren’t going crazy now. “Are you serious?”

“A hundred percent. But only if you want to!” Han sat up, (Y/n) now straddling him as he had his arms wrapped around them. (Y/n) played with his hoodie strings as they thought for a moment. That moment seemed long for the rapper.

“Yeah.” (Y/n) nodded

“Really?!” He was doing nothing to hide his excitement.

“What's the worst that can happen?” (Y/n) said

“We go back to being best friends.” Han wiped their tear-stained cheeks, “can I be your boyfriend?”

“Yes.” (Y/n) smiled

“Now I get to kiss your concerns away.” Han smiled back causing his partner to giggle before he pecked their lips.

❥felix

(Y/n) trudged toward the door after getting the text from Felix that he was there. They rubbed their eyes as they pulled open the door.

Felix said birthing as he stepped inside and wrapped his arms around them, careful not to let the container of brownies hit them. “Thanks,” (Y/n) sniffled

“Anything for you,” Felix said before kissing the side of their head.

The two made their way to the couch after closing the door. The idol made work by grabbing some napkins and a blanket for the two of them.

“What do you wanna watch?” Felix asked as he sat back on the couch, wrapping his arm around (Y/n) with the remote in the other hand.

“Whatever is fine,” (Y/n) replied, cuddling into his side and pulling the blanket up to their nose

Felix opted to put on one of their favorite movies and sat back, occasionally feeding them brownies. He didn't bring up anything else about why they were crying earlier. Behaved as if this was a normal hang-out for them.

Then he heard the small sniffles. He turned his attention to his friend, immediately pulling them onto his lap and wiping away the tests that slowly fell down their cheeks.

“What happened?” his deep voice full of concern

“I was thinking about how… this was a nice little date and then I remembered we aren't actually together, like that. Which led back to my earlier crying,” (Y/n) told him, trying not to cry harder

“I started crying again earlier after I texted you and you said you’d stay the night. You’d be the perfect boyfriend honestly. It's not really fair that you are just my best friend and you're this perfect…”

(Y/n) couldn't rant further since they had made themselves cry to the point, they couldn't talk. Felix hugged them until they calmed down a little bit. Just enough to get them to listen to him.

“Listen,” Felix started as he wiped their tears, “I'm not the only perfect one out of us. You're an amazing person. I love being your best friend. But I would love it if we were more than friends.”

“W-what?” (Y/n) questioned

“What do you think I meant when I said I wasn’t gonna let you cry over something fixable? I don't want to see you cry over failed dates or seeing your other friends be happy in their relationships. If you cry, I want it to be tears of joy. I want to be with you.”

(Y/n) was practically star-struck at his confession. Felix just waited patiently for their answer and he wiped away all their tears. “Yes,” (Y/n) answered, nodding as a smile came on their face.

“Now you can rub it in your friends faces that you're dating Felix of Stray Kids.”

Both of them laughed before cuddling back up together and finishing the movie and enjoying the brownies.

❥seungmin

(Y/n) had completely stopped crying by the time Seungmin showed up. They still had puffy red eyes that indicated that they had been crying. They had taken the time it took for Seungmin to get to their place trying to decipher his text. By the time he knocked on the door, (Y/n) had drawn a conclusion that their best friend might be in love with them.

(Y/n) opened the door and looked at their friend who held some of their favorite snacks and a small bouquet of their favorite flowers. If that didn't prove their conclusion, they didn't know what would.

“Kim Seungmim, what is this?” (Y/n) asked

“Me cheering up my best friend and asking you to be my partner,” the singer stated

“When did you become so straightforward?” (Y/n) asked as they took the flowers from him.

“When you mentioned they were trying to set you up with someone that wasn't me.”

Seungmin stepped inside and closed the door behind him. The two walked into (Y/n)’s kitchen.

“How long have you liked me?” (Y/n) bluntly questioned

“Honestly, I couldn't say. Just when you mentioned the set up I got a little jealous and acted without thinking,” Seungmin shrugged as he placed the snacks down on the counter

“That's new for you.” (Y/n) joked while looking for a vase for their flowers

“They still trying to set you up with that friend?” he asked

“Last I checked, yeah. I'm gonna have to tell them to stop though, otherwise, my boyfriend’s gonna be jealous.”

“We’re not going on that group date by the way. Sounds like hell.”

“The plan will probably fall through anyway. They suck at planning stuff.”

(Y/n) finally found a vase and arranged their flowers in it. Seungmin stood behind them and wrapped his arms around them as they did. Then watched over their shoulder as they texted their friends they couldn't go on the group date with the random friend since they just got a boyfriend.

Seungmin laughed at the chores of freakouts and questions about who they were dating. (Y/n) didn't reply and instead set the phone down and leaned back against him.

The boy smiled and kissed the side of their head before the two went to cuddle on the couch with some drama running in the background. Eventually falling asleep.

❥i.n

Jeongin did keep his word and showed up at (Y/n)’s door in twenty minutes. They opened the door and rubbed their red puffy eyes.

“You didn't have to come over late,” (Y/n) stated as they let him into the apartment, away from the cold night air.

“I wasn’t gonna let you cry yourself to sleep,” Jeongin replied as he slipped off his shoes.

“Maybe my friend shouldn't have brought up a double date then.”

“Let's go to bed and talk about it.”

It wasn't uncommon for the two to have sleepovers and stay in the same bed. So (Y/n) led him into their room and sat back against their headboard while Jeongin sat in front of them.

“Did she try and set you up with someone again too?” he asked

“No, but she said she’d find someone,” (Y/n) replied

“Do you wanna go?”

“No. Every time I end up going, the guy she sets me up with is disgusting. I don't know why she only ever asks me to go with her. We have other friends that are in actual relationships she can ask to go.”

“Maybe she thinks she's helping?”

“She’s really not.”

“Come here,” Jeongin pulled them into him, wrapping his arms around them. “Let’s go out for breakfast tomorrow, okay?”

“Is that our first date?”

“We can count it as that. I do think we’d be a good couple.”

“I think like that idea.”

“Let's go to bed. We got a date in the morning.” Jeongin kissed the top of their head before both repositioned themselves to go to sleep, cuddling under the covers.

(Y/n)’s friend had called them in the morning saying the person she wanted to set them up with was down for the date idea.

“I can't go, I have plans,” (Y/n) had their phone on speaker as they got ready while their friend relaxed on their bed. Waiting on them patiently.

“Why. I know you don't have anything going on that day.”

“You ready yet babe?” I.N. asked from the bed.

“Who was that?”

“Jeongin. We’re going out for breakfast.”

“Like, breakfast date?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, have fun.” the line went dead after that

“Was the ‘babe’ necessary?”

“No, but I think it was funny.”

“You really are hanging out with Minho too much.”

M. LIST ✧ TIP JAR

748 notes · View notes

blossom-hwa · 7 months ago

Text

miami nights | l.mh

pairing: Minho x gender neutral!reader genre: fluff, slice of life warnings: cursing, alcohol + underage drinking (be responsible kids) word count: 4.7k notes: — changes made to skz ages: 00 line + jeongin are all graduating high school, mc/changbin/minho/chan have all just graduated college — for the record I don't hate miami as much as this fic might suggest, I'm just really fucking bored here Miami is boring. Minho is less boring. Put two and two together and this city still sucks, but maybe having Minho is enough.

Stray Kids Masterlist

"I'm bored."

Minho doesn't even bother looking at his camera. "You've said that maybe ten thousand times in the past half hour."

"Yeah, because I meant it." You roll over your bed again. "I'm so fucking bored."

His sigh crackles through the FaceTime call. "Well, it's not like it's New York City, where we could do fucking everything."

"But it's Miami. Sunny Miami." Minho barks out a sharp laugh and you do an impeccable job of ignoring him. "Beach, sun, swamp. People come down here for vacation all the fucking time, there must be something to do."

He holds one hand up to the camera. "Everglades." One finger down. "Wynwood." Another finger. "Some nature estate." A third finger. "Beach." A fourth. And then, a long pause.

"Some other nature estate?" you offer.

Minho flaps his hand at the screen. It's his laptop screen, which you know because he's been glued to his phone for half of the FaceTime. "They're all the same and you know it."

Unfortunately, you do know it. There are only so many times you can walk Vizcaya or sit by the Deering Estate before they all end up coalescing into one big mush of ocean and grass in your brain. Beautiful the first few times. Pretty the next. Then just part of the landscape. Some might say you sound ungrateful, but you've lived here for eighteen damn years. You think you have a right to complain. Besides, how many times can you go to the beach before sand sticks itself so far up your ass that you decide you're never wandering into the ocean's depths again?

It's your turn to sigh this time. "So what are we doing tomorrow? Food? Boba?"

Minho's eating something now, so his voice comes out muffled. "What else is there to do?"

It takes too much effort to roll your eyes so you just stare at the ceiling. "Pick me up at twelve."

. . .

[12:36am] to: minnow just had the most terrifying moment of my life went to get water after everyone had gone to be didn't put on my house slippers bc it was supposed to be quick turned on lights ROACH NOT THREE FUCKING FEET AWAY FROM MY BARE FUCKING FOOT it's dead now but I have to throw it away 🤮 save me

[12:38am] to: minnow HOKY FUCKJNG SHIT IT WAS STILL ALIVEN I TRIEDT O SWEEP IT PU AND IT STARTEDD RUMNING AWAT NOW IT IS FUCKING DEAD oh god there is a separate leg that needs to be swept up I just lost ten years of my life

[12:40am] from: minnow cool

[12:40am] to: minnow I GO THROUGH A LIFE THREATENING EXPERIENCE AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS COOL

. . .

Seungmin is also there when you and Minho enter the Chipotle, so you end up sitting with him. He looks appropriately done with life, as befits a high school senior. "Oooo, skipping class," Minho singsongs before flicking him in the back of the head.

"Shut up," he mutters, slapping Minho's hand away. Or he would have if Minho wasn't so fast. "It's all useless now, I've already gotten into college."

You just laugh, dumping your Chipotle bowl in front of him. "Fail your AP exams and I disown you as my son," you warn cheerily. You nearly hit your head on one of the cheap fluorescent hanging lights as you sit down on the tall stool. There are fingerprints smeared all over the metal countertop and the cracked covering of the stool scratches your thighs. Maybe it was a mistake to wear shorts today. "What are you going to say if this goes on your permanent record?"

Seungmin gives you the stink eye. "Like they'll stop the valedictorian from graduating," he retorts. "And when the fuck did you two get back? I didn't realize you'd graduated already."

"Aww, missed us?" Minho beams, his eyes and mouth all turning into little slits that make him look far more threatening than he is. Actually, he looks like that meme of the cat staring straight at the camera that looks like it's smiling but its mouth is basically just a line with the slightest curvature at both ends. Felix would know what you're talking about. "We got back two weeks ago."

"And you didn't bother to tell us?" Seungmin sniffs.

"We did," Minho says. "You just don't check the group chat."

"You haven't even tried to congratulate us." You wipe away an imaginary tear.

He rolls his eyes, but you detect a little smile on his face that isn't just your own delusion. "Congrats, or whatever."

"I knew you cared!" you cheer, reaching over the table to give him a hug, despite half of the restaurant glaring at you while Seungmin attempts to fight you off. Minho just watches the whole scene unfold, his usual Cheshire Cat half smile stuck on his face.

Seungmin leaves soon after. You make a dramatic plea for him to stay, complete with a seated reenactment of Caesar's stabbing with Minho as Brutus and by proxy Seungmin, because Seungmin leaving is akin to Brutus stabbing Caesar who is you, or whatever. "No, my favorite child, don't go," you wail even as the workers start looking your way. "I'll buy you boba."

Minho snorts. "What are you, his parent?"

"What are you, a fucking loser?"

The offer of boba doesn't work because Seungmin has physics during his last period so he needs to be back in time to catch that class or his teacher will actually probably write him up (she's an evil old woman), and for all his skipping class Seungmin is still a mostly-goody-two-shoes who doesn't actually want anything horrific on his permanent record. So you and Minho finish your bowls alone with a side of healthy bickering, and then you walk back out into the disgusting heat to Minho's shitty little Toyota Corolla.

You almost don't catch the keys before they hit you in the face. "You drive," Minho says, opening the passenger side door.

"I'm not fucking driving." You drop the keys on his lap. "I only have a permit and I'm not on your stupid car's insurance."

"And I am an adult over twenty one with a license, and I trust that if you fuck up my car, I can throw you under the bus and say I was being kidnapped." He throws them back at your face and you screech. "You need to practice, so drive."

Minho wins because he's already in the passenger seat and the heat is sapping away your will to live, which includes your will to wrestle Minho out of that seat so you can take his place. So you end up in the driver's seat, sweating even more because the air conditioning in this car has been busted since last summer, and then you fudge your way out of the parking lot and down the road.

"If you say a word I will fucking kill you," you say.

Minho rolls his eyes and continues looking at his phone.

You manage to reach the boba shop in one piece. Minho orders his regular and you choose one of the new fruit teas on the menu. You find an empty round table with only minimal spillage in a corner of the shop and sit there in silence, sipping your drinks. You pull out your phone. Minho is still on his.

Ten minutes later, you crack. "This place fucking sucks."

"You just figured that out?" Minho mutters. He's chewing his straw as he obnoxiously slurps a boba pearl into his mouth. He's doing that on purpose just to annoy you but you rise to the bait anyway.

"Don't do that, it's disgusting." You put your phone down. "There's just nothing to fucking do. Almost makes me want to go back to college."

"You sure as hell weren't saying that right before graduation."

You debate the merits of slurping up a boba pearl just to take it out of your mouth and throw it at him. "Because I wasn't in buttfuck shit suburban Miami then."

Minho rolls his eyes. You do not throw the boba pearl, but only because you don't want sticky hands. Instead you lapse back into silence, the only sounds being Minho's occasional slurp and your ensuing complaint.

At two, your boba cup is empty and so is your will to live. You've seen the same Instagram reels at least twice, scrolled through Tumblr to oblivion, even poked at Sidechat before immediately closing the app after reading the first post you saw. You can't figure out the last three words on the New York Times Spelling Bee and you've already reached Genius status for the day so you have very little motivation to continue. "Let's go to Target," you say.

"Sure."

He makes you drive again and you yell at him the entire way because you're shit at directions so you have no idea how to get to Target despite having lived here for over a decade, and he won't stop looking at his phone the entire car ride there even while giving directions. You take a wrong left turn at some point and end up on the highway for five minutes. You blame him, obviously. Minho threatens to buy Starbucks just to pour on your head.

You don't buy Starbucks at Target because you just had boba. Minho picks up some vitamins, which he needs, and you find a weighted unicorn plushie, which you also need. He claims he doesn't need the matching dinosaur plushie but you dump it in his arms anyway and he carries it for an entire two hours until you get to checkout, which tells you everything you need to know. You snatch it out of his arms to pay for it and he threatens again to buy Starbucks to pour over your head. You tell him threats don't work the second time if he doesn't make good on them the first time. Unless you're Hyunjin, who's scared of everything.

You end up getting Starbucks anyway just before you leave because Chan and Changbin got back in town today and instead of being jet lagged like normal people they want to see everyone again, so you text the group chat and end up with nine orders including yours and Minho's. You refuse to drive this time. Minho mocks you the entire way to Changbin's house and you threaten to throw his plushie out the window.

Chan gives good hugs. So does Changbin. It doesn't stop you from making fun of them for being gym bros who don't miss a day to work out, not even during finals week. It also doesn't stop you from mocking Chan for his age.

"We graduated in the same year," he complains.

"But you got a Masters combined with your Bachelors," Minho says, grinning. "You're one degree ahead and you've been in school for five years instead of four so you're old."

Then Seungmin comes swinging through the door, four other gremlins following close behind, and you get to be called old by the five boys you practically raised ("You're not my dad!" "Vine's been dead for over ten years, shut the FUCK up.").

"What's with the plushies?" Felix eventually asks. He's already eyeing your unicorn. You hug it closer. Even though you love Felix, you will not cede that plushie to anyone.

"Went to Target," Minho says, carrying his dinosaur by the scruff of its neck. "Got plushies. And Starbucks." He leaves out the bit where you spent most of your two hours there snickering at the stupid holiday cards in the gift section and making fun of the Colleen Hoover books randomly displayed around the store, but it's implied.

You all traipse into Changbin's living room because he's the only one with Mario Kart and enough controllers for all of you. It devolves into a big screaming mess within fifteen minutes and someone spills Chan's coffee. No one notices at first but then Minho, mom friend supreme, yells for everyone to shut the fuck up and get towels to clean up the growing mess. Only Chan and Hyunjin respond, Chan because it's his coffee and Hyunjin because Minho is going to make good on his threat to air fry him someday, but Minho bars Chan from cleaning the mess because it's not his fault and it's his coffee so you end up going out to buy him a new one while Hyunjin sops up the spill. Mario Kart continues as usual.

After placing in the bottom half for almost every game in an hour, Jisung switches the game to Smash. After beating Changbin gets boring, you boot him the console and kick Jisung and Minho's collective ass instead. Then the sky is darkening, and you all remember that Changbin's rich kid community has a waterfront view, so Chan shuts off the TV mid-game and you all bicker your way out of the house and to the beach.

The sun is setting and for all that you dislike the beach, the view is nice. Pink and orange rays stream from the horizon and cast a soft glow on the scene that makes everyone look vaguely angelic, even though you all are the furthest from a group of angels you could ever be. You perch on a chunk of limestone and watch Seungmin shove Jisung into the water.

There is a very good reason why Changbin's neighbors hate you all.

The sky gets darker. Minho picks you up with much screaming and dumps you into the water, but on your feet so only your legs get wet. On principle you still have to get revenge so you dump a handful of water over his head and then narrowly escape getting dunked in the ocean by kicking him in the knee before he manages to grab you.

You end up on the rocks again, rough limestone pressing marks into your thighs as you watch the moon slowly pick its way into the sky. Chan and Felix are looking for shells even though this beach is more pebbles than sand, while Seungmin and Jeongin are egging on Hyunjin and Jisung splashing each other in the water. Changbin has spread himself out on the sand and almost looks asleep. Minho sits next to you on the rocks and puts his head on your shoulder. You complain for a bit about his sweaty hair but it's fine.

You're so focused on the sunset that you don't notice that Jisung and Hyunjin are no longer playing fuck-around-and-find-out in the water. You don't even notice that they've come around you from behind. All you do know is that you suddenly hear the click of an iPhone camera and then Jisung whooping behind you.

"The fuck—"

He's holding his phone and it's clear he took a photo of you and by proxy, a photo of Minho. You screech again, on principle, but it's too late. A ping from your phone tells you Jisung has sent the photo to the group chat.

"I'm going to kill you," you promise.

"It's a good photo!" Jisung insists, all the while backing away.

You look at Minho for backup. Instead, you watch him open the message and, after scrutinizing the photo with a nonplussed expression, save it. "What?" he says when he notices your scandalized glare. "It is a good photo."

You look at the picture. With the darkening sky, you and Minho look like shadows on the rock, haloed softly by the last rays of the sun sinking under the horizon. The ocean shimmers gently, waves lapping quietly against the shore. His head is on your shoulder and even though only your backs are in the shot, an air of contentment exudes from the scene. You don't even look sweaty.

Something unknown builds in your stomach, vaguely nostalgic, some kind of sad, but also soft and a little bit sweet. More good than bad but you feel a bit empty, for some reason. "I guess," is all you can answer, and Minho doesn't say anything more. But when you return to Changbin's house, still damp and noisy, you slip into the bathroom and save it to your phone, too.

It is a good photo, after all.

. . .

[12:50am] from: minnow why the fuck are you still online

[12:55am] to: minnow I could ask you the same dipshit

[12:57am] from: minnow I asked first dipshit

[1:01am] to: minnow can't sleep dipshit do something abt it

[1:02am] from: minnow what am I a genie?

[1:02am] to: minnow would it kill you to be nice once in your life

[1:03am] from: minnow yes

[1:05am] to: minnow touché asshole

[1:10am] to: minnow if you go to sleep now tomorrow will come faster

[1:11am] to: minnow you mean another whole day of nothing?

[1:12am] from: minnow see you get it

. . .

[2:15am] to: minnow do you ever wonder what it would be like if we never met (message unsent)

. . .

The kids graduate on a Wednesday morning, so Minho picks you up early. You're sitting at your old piano when he lets himself in, staring at some sheet music you used to be able to play five years ago. You can still play it, as you are currently finding out. Badly. With a lot of wrong notes.

You hit a wrong chord. Minho doesn't even flinch. "You're not dressed," he says.

You wave him off vaguely. "Later," you say, and play the right chord this time.

He doesn't say anything, just lies down on the couch and stares at the ceiling while you plink plunk your way through the rest of the piece. He claps. You get changed. He throws you the car keys. You wrestle him out the passenger seat as peacocks watch menacingly from the front lawn, then threaten to poke his eye out if he tries that again.

Chan and Changbin are already there, responsible adults that they are. You and Minho find them in the stands, the kids' parents sitting a couple of rows down. Chan warns you not to make a scene in front of the adults but he's the loudest when each of the boys walks across the stage, so you heckle him semi-quietly from all sides until the ceremony is over.

The four of you head to Minho's while the five new grads get lunch with their parents. Chan insists it isn't a good idea to day drink so you save the bottles of vodka for when the kids arrive, which they do towards the evening. You play Smash until they show up and you and Minho battle for first place fifteen times in a row.

Minho's parents are out of town but the cats are here, winding around all nine pairs of legs when the kids enter the house, newly graduated, caps and gowns abandoned. Food is ordered, shots are poured, and libations are made for each of the newly minted adults in the room with Chan overseeing everything because he doesn't drink. Half of you are underage but that half are all over eighteen, and you say if they're old enough to get drafted they're old enough to drink. Anyway, the youngest is Jeongin and he once sampled fifty different energy drinks in one sitting because Chan was in LA and he had no supervision. He's still alive. A shot or two won't kill him.

There's Smash. There's Mario Party. There's another round of shots and congratulations to the soon-to-be-college-freshmen, then Seungmin finds a bottle of wine and they pour it out for the college grads too. Your head starts feeling fuzzy halfway through the third round of Mario Kart so you lie down on the ground, and Soonie curls up on your chest so you are legally not allowed to move anymore.

The noise settles into a buzz in the back of your head. You yell when Jisung finally places third in Mario Kart and Minho drops a cat onto your head. Eventually, though, the yelling begins to peter out, and when Jeongin starts snoring around two in the morning, Chan calls it quits and begins arranging people around the couches to sleep.

You're not sleepy, though, so long after everyone else is passed out in various positions around the living room, you head into the kitchen for water. You're still at least tipsy so your reflexes don't do so well when footsteps sound behind you and you try to turn around to see who it is.

Minho, drunk as he is, catches you by the shoulder. "Just me," he mumbles. He only looks a little more alert than you.

You nod and finish your water but you don't feel like going back to the living room, where everyone is snoring and it smells like booze. Instead you go to the dining room and lie under the dining table. Minho joins you shortly after.

"What are we doing here?" he asks.

"Being drunk."

He seems to accept that as an answer. You stare at the bottom of his dining table. You've been to Minho's house so many times over the past few years, but somehow you've never seen the table from this angle. It captures your attention for a few minutes. Or maybe an hour. Time isn't real.

"I'm bored," Minho announces.

You look at him. "That's my line."

"And I stole it."

You huff. "Then what the fuck do you want to do?"

No Target. No boba. No beach, and none of that matters since there's no car because you're both shitfaced. It's some stupid hour of the morning, anyway.

Minho raises his hands. Splays out all his fingers against the underside of the table. "Never have I ever."

You stare. "That's so fucking stupid."

"You're so fucking stupid."

"Your mom's so fucking stupid."

"...You take that back."

"Fine." You relent only because Minho's mom is a lovely woman and even drunk, you already feel bad.

Minho grabs your arm and shoves your hand up next to his. "Never have I ever punched someone in the face."

It's not a hard game to play, even drunk. The rules aren't difficult and you and Minho know enough about each other that each time one of you says something, another finger goes down. Both of you have one finger left and your brains are starting to feel fuzzy not just with alcohol but with drowsiness too, so it takes a bit longer for Minho to think of something. Not that it stops you from being a little shit. "Hurry up."

"I can't fucking think," he complains.

"Then say something both of us have done," you snap, waving your last finger around. "Just hurry up."

"Fine." The air seems to change but you're too drunk to really pay attention to it. "Never have I ever been kissed." He folds his last finger.

You don't.

There's a beat of silence. Even without looking you can feel Minho's eyes roving from your still lifted finger down your arm and over to your face, where you are still resolutely staring at the dining table bottom and not back at him. "You've never been kissed," he says, almost incredulous.

You snort. You won the game, but the single finger you're still holding up looks really, really sad. "No need to rub it in."

He grabs your shoulder and that forces you to look at him. You blink. He doesn't say anything and for several seconds or seventy-two hours you don't either. "What the fuck do you want?" you eventually mumble.

"Just shut up," he says, and kisses you.

Minho seems cold but he's actually very warm, a fact that you are reminded of when he presses his lips to yours. Your hand falls limply, the lone finger forgotten as he pulls you to him. His eyes are closed and after a moment yours shut too. You don't know if you can look at him now. It's already too much just to feel.

You pull away for air. Minho holds up your hand and folds all fingers down. "Now you've been kissed," he says. You can't read his expression in the darkness.

"Why?"

Cat eyes seem to glow in the dark. "Because I've liked you since we met, and I think you like me too."

You like me too.

You roll the sentence around your mind, feeling the words bounce off your skull. Minho is mean. Kind. Annoying. Pretty. He knows your boba order and doesn't talk when you don't need to listen. His cats like you and you like them. He complains that you're boring but he hangs out with you all the time and he has never made you feel less than what you are, even when you play the piano shittily in front of him. You think of the photo Jisung took of you two last week and how you've made it your phone's home screen. You think of perfunctory complaints, a sunset, and his head on your shoulder with a weird feeling in your stomach.

You hold his hand. "I guess you're right."

He smiles. You can see it in the dark. And it's not the patented Cheshire Cat grin of evil and mischief; not really, at least. It's softer and sweeter and you recognize it as one of the sides of Minho that he rarely shares. Like when a cat allows you to rub its belly and purrs instead of scratching.

You end up in his room, still on the floor because the bed is too annoying to get to. He's lying on his back, dinosaur plushie under his head, and you're draped over his stomach. You can feel him breathing slowly, steadily, softly.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we never met?"

"...Could you just let me fucking sleep?"

"Be so for fucking real."

You can hear him rolling his eyes, but you can also hear him collecting his thoughts. "Well," he says, and you think he might be smiling, "Miami would be a lot more boring without you."

. . .

[9:14am] from: minnow before you try to overthink things yes I meant what I said last night tell chan if he wakes me up again I'll egg his car when he least expects it

. . .

Miami is stupid. There are peacocks and alligators and iguanas that fall out of trees in the winter. It's sunny all the fucking time and if it isn't it's pouring rain and in both cases there are mosquitoes out for your blood. Every time you walk outside it feels like you're melting into soup and the invasive ducks will give chase the moment you show weakness or fear. Cockroaches roam your home. So do weird millipedes and tiny lizards and idiot moths. Everything is hot and humid and stupid, and it's boring.

"I'm bored."

Minho rolls his eyes. "You are incredibly fucking annoying."

You pinch him. "Yeah, because I'm fucking bored."

"We could kiss."

Contemplative silence on your end.

"...Solid plan."

You hate this fucking place. It's boring and there's nothing to do but go to the beach or become one with the pavement. But there's Minho, and you'll never admit it if anyone asks, but you think that might be enough.

. . .

[6:45pm] to: minnow open ur fucking door

[6:45pm] from: minnow what happened to please and thank you

[6:46pm] to: minnow I will throw your boba in the sewer so fucking fast

[6:46pm] from: minnow you wouldn't dare

[6:47pm] to: minnow [image attached] don't underestimate me

[6:47pm] from: minnow I'm opening the door I'm opening the fucking door don't fucking do it

[6:48pm] to: minnow I knew you loved me

[6:49pm] from: minnow god I fucking hate you

[6:50pm] to: minnow aw I love you too <3

[6:51pm] from: minnow jesus fucking christ

[6:41pm] to: minnow say it back babe ik you want to

[6:42pm] from: minnow for fuck's sake I love you too

Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :)

31 notes · View notes

bibittybopittybadbxtch · 1 year ago

Text

Cover Me

Summary: Life can be rough. Sometimes we just need to be reminded we aren’t alone.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Crying, Comfort

Word Count: <1K

A/N: Hi loves! Channie is not my bias, but I got to writing and he just fit the narrative I had in mind. I hope yall enjoy! If you really want the feels listen to Cover Me x SKZ while reading. Barely proof read. It’s 4:30am I wrote this on my phone.

XO,Bibi 🩷

P.S.

I do NOT consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third party site or app.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You hadn’t slept in days. You were concerned about the course of your life, and it was making you sick to your stomach. Everyone else seems to have figured it out while you’re scrambling for answers. You wanted to do so much it made you want to do nothing at all. You could feel yourself slipping away. Turning into a shell of the person you once were. You didn’t want to Christopher about it. He had enough on his plate. With your coming up, he was barely around. But even in his absence he noticed the change in you.

He comes home and finds you sitting on the couch. It’s 3 in the morning. He at least expected you to be in bed, if not sleeping. You don’t even acknowledge his presence completely lost in thought. “Hey, Sunshine.” He notices you jump a little before he steps into the room. “Hi.” You reply quietly. He takes a moment to look at you, and what he sees breaks his heart. He can stand to see the people he loves especially you, he believed wholeheartedly that you deserved all the happiness the world had to offer. “What’s going on?” he asks pulling you into his side. You take a shaky inhale. “What if, this is all I’ll ever be?” He looks down at you confused, “What do you mean?”. You shake your head, hoping the physical action will unscramble your thoughts. “You’re so successful, all your friends are successful. Then there’s me. I have no idea what I want to do with my life.”

Chris hugs you tighter and takes a deep breath before speaking. “Just because you haven’t figured out what you want to do with your life doesn’t mean you aren’t successful. Every day that you complete, no matter how you complete it, is a success. Don’t discredit yourself.” You nod taking in his words as he continues speaking. “There’s no right way to live your life. Everyone is winging it, no matter what it seems like. So you haven’t found your passion yet, that means your possibilities are unlimited. Don’t let that scare you, let it inspire you.” At this point you have tears running down your face and he can feel the soaking his shirt, but he doesn’t stop. “You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. Take it one step at a time at your own pace. I’m here for you. Every step of the way.” You truly didn’t understand this man.

After a night full of work, you knew he was tired. But he stayed up with you to comfort you through your tears. He truly loved you differently than you’d ever been loved before. He looks down at you and asked you a question no one had ever taken the time to ask. “What do you need?” he looks down at you, eyes filled with love and compassion. You didn’t even think, you don’t know where the words came from. You looked at him through your tears, “For now, just cover me.” So he did. He held you as you cried, and when you were done he wiped your tears. There is no magic answer. There is no secret to the universe. There is only trying and failure, and the only true way to fail is to never try.

#skz imagines #skz x reader #bang chan #stray kids #christopher bang #skz #skz stay #stay #bang chris

73 notes · View notes

lixie-phoria · 2 years ago

Text

ੈ✩‧ 🎀🩰 ➛stray kids (maknae line) as taylor swift lyrics

pairing : skz!maknae line x reader

prompt : which taylor swift line fits the dynamic of your relationship with him <3

hyung line ver. | maknae line ver.

🎐| han !!

"Tell me that you're still mine, Tell me that we'll be just fine, Even when I lose my mind"

han was insecure. he was so incredibly scared that one day you'd walk out the door and return with someone better. someone better than him. someone who could love you better. treat you better. someone who didn't constantly dump their anxiety on you.

and it absolutely terrified him.

he wishes he could believe you every time you held him close, comforting him that it was all in his head. that you love him. only him. nobody else.

it was hard. he would blow up sometimes, telling you to leave him, to go find someone better for yourself.

but you stayed. you stayed right by his side, helping him through every panic attack, every breakdown, every moment of weakness.

and he loved you even more for it. he loved how the feeling of your entwined hands could stabilise his collapsing world. he loved the smile you would flash him every time your eyes met. he loved how you never failed to remind him of how proud you were of him, on his good and bad days.

he loved you for every little thing you did. he loved you for never leaving; for reminding him that you'll always be there and everything will be just fine. you could make it through anything together.

🎐| felix !!

"I find myself running home to your sweet nothings"

falling in love was supposed to feel euphoric. it was supposed to be exciting. or at least that's what every book you read made it seem like.

you learned the harder way that it was anything but that. your first two relationships were a train wreck, and you signed off from ever trying to find the sunshine and rainbows that everyone promised.

until you fell in love with the sunshine himself.

you met felix on the first day of university. you stumbled into him as he chased after a cat, whining after the feline to come back so he could pet it just one last time.

when he crashed into you - sending your books flying everywhere - he was quick to apologize, flashing you an embarrassed grin as he helped you up, pleading with you to let him make it up to you by taking you out for coffee.

you agreed. and you were so glad that you did because it changed your life forever.

it wasn't long before you began dating, and as cliché as it sounded, the feeling was magical.

euphoric. just how the books had described it. a feeling you never thought you'd experience.

felix was everything. he was always there for you: helping you, comforting you, supporting you. he was there along every step.

he was there when you had a bad day, when you got a bad grade, when you were unwell, when you had an argument with a friend. he promised he would never leave your side, and he never did.

every day, he would remind you why he loved you. every day, he would remind you to love yourself.

you were so in love, and you wouldn't have it any other way. he was your anchor, your solace, your breath of fresh air on a bad day. he was your everything.

🎐| seungmin !!

"What if I told you none of it was accidental"

you spoke to seungmin at a party once. just once. but it was enough to have you hooked. you were absolutely enamoured by him: his smile, his eyes, his humor. his everything.

you had never felt this way before, and you never wanted to either. you wanted this feeling to last with seungmin and seungmin only.

you did everything in your power to cross paths with him.

he was going out for coffee? what a coincidence that you ended up at the café too!

his favorite color was purple? maybe it was time to finally get those purple streaks you'd been thinking of for so long.

and the boy ate it all up. he seemed to be just as enraptured by you.

was it really a coincidence that a bouquet of your favorite flowers was waiting for you at your doorstep the same day you told him about them?

was it really an accident when your friends collectively cancelled on your plans leaving just the two of you to go out together?

it was too good to be true, and you loved it. the not-so-subtle flirting, the constant pining, the longing glances, changing plans for each other. all of it had him giddy.

you were the reason he looked forward to attending his lectures. you were the reason his friends would catch him smiling at his phone.

kim seungmin was absolutely in love with you, and everybody seemed to know it.

his friends had never seen him act this way before. what had you done to him?

but they would never know about all the subtle planning that went into every single interaction between you and him. they would never know what went on behind the scenes. all that they had to know was that you were just as much in love.

🎐| jeongin !!

"We were both young when I first saw you"

when your best friend moved out of your neighborhood and jeongin's family shifted into her house, you had been absolutely heartbroken. it wasn't the poor boy's fault that his family chose to move into that house, but you decided to take your anger and sorrow out on him anyways.

constantly ignoring him, purposely getting muddy footprints on his front yard and putting the blame on him, hiding his cycle and claiming that you had no clue where it was. There was no end to your pettiness and as you grew older, you couldn't exactly place why you never stopped with the taunting, and over time he began reciprocating the bitterness equally.

and so what started as innocent child-like fights that had your parents cooing at soon turned into what seemed like a lifelong enmity.

when it was finally time for university, you couldn't have been happier. finally, you could get away from jeongin.

but fate wouldn't have it.

jeongin was rejected from his first choice, leaving him no option but to pick the very same university you would be attending - his second preference.

neither of you was happy about it, and the two of you made sure everyone in your year was aware of it as well.

picking at each other, constant pranks, and always giving the other sarcastic replies. it was never simple with the two of you.

until your first heartbreak.

you caught your boyfriend cheating on you. at a party. a party everyone seemed to be at. so everyone saw it happen.

jeongin had been the first to recover from the shock. neither of you knew what came over him, but he was the first to gently lead you away from the scene, lending you his jacket on the drive back to your dorm as you tried to hold back your tears. no way were you going to break down in front of yang jeongin out of all the people.

but when he hesitantly placed his hand on yours, asking if you were alright and flashing you a small smile, you could feel something shift. literally.

had his smile always looked that adorable? had his hands always felt that comforting?

maybe he felt it too because you couldn't have been imagining the blush that coated his cheeks.

neither of you knew what changed that night. but something did, and it only bloomed into something better over time.

©lixie-phoria, 2023

🏷️ @foxinnie8 , @hamburgers101 , @starlostlaiba

[ send an ask to be added/removed from the taglist :) ]

206 notes · View notes

bonobonoyaatheart · 1 year ago

Text

MASTERLIST

All my work in one place :)

BTS FICS

Kim Namjoon

I failed - The BTS comeback is approaching and Namjoon is extremely busy. You are struggling emotionally but have nowhere to go and find solace. You find a way to escape this: Self harm. It is all hidden until Namjoon comes home early to surprise you.

Kim Seokjin

Soup and lullaby - You are hungry and can’t sleep. But your boyfriend is there to help you, in his sweet way.

Min Yoongi

Charged - A supposed tutoring session with Yoongi turns out into something else.

Jung Hoseok

Am I a burden? - You can’t help but feel insecure due to Hoseok’s insane success. This leads you to overworking yourself. But at the end of the day, Hoseok is gonna be your safe heaven.

Park Jimin

Sweet treat - After a long, exhausting day, Jimin’s care will soothe you the best.

Kim Taehyung

Ice cream - The load of work was getting heavier each day. But icecream with Tae is the perfect escape, isn’t it?

Jeon Jungkook

Messed up - Jungkook is your best friend.(At least you two think that) So you must warn him when he’s befriending someone he shouldn’t. But things turn different when you end up giving each other silent treatment.

Punching bag - You care and worry for Jungkook. In return? You feel like his emotional punching bag, despite of his intentions being different.

SKZ FICS

Bang Chan

Scared of you - You are a secret police agent but you haven’t told chan due to his trauma. But it is exposed all out of sudden.

Lee Minho

Bottling up - Acting cool and tough makes Minho bottle up his feelings. One day everything becomes too much, pushing him into a panic attack.

Seo Changbin

Big baby - You big baby is ill… So you gotta pamper him, right?

Hwang Hyunjin

Broken - Hyunjin was broken & hurt. Was he too weak to get healed, that too by you?

Protect - Hyunjin and you encounter his bully. It’s impossible for to be quite with a person who has hurt the love of your life. (This can be read independently as well as part 2 of broken)

Han Jisung

Wasn't supposed to - You are Jisung’s bodyguard but soon you become much more than that. This isn’t right, is it? But love will always find its way.

Lee Felix

Night walk - You take your new neighbour, Felix on a night walk. But it turns out into something more.

Kim Seungmin

Morning cuddles - Seungmin is simply tired, but cuddles with you will comfort him.

Yang Jeongin

Video call - You’re out on tour, and you both miss each other like crazy. You overwork yourself as distraction, which worries Jeongin. His video calls become the solution to all this.

TXT FICS

Choi Soobin

I am sorry - You are overworking yourself. This sparks an argument and you end up raising your hand, shocking and hurting Soobin.

Choi Yeonjun

Gotta save you - Kai, your main rival has kidnapped your beloved boyfriend Yeonjun and Kai’s men are ready to burn your weapon house: everything of your empire. Yeonjun or the empire you’ve built in all these years? choose one or surrender. You gotta make a choice.

Confession - You are very nervous about confessing to Yeonjun, but it goes unexpectedly well.

Choi Beomgyu

Don't push yourself - Comeback seasons mean loads of stress. Beomgyu pushes himself to do more, but you’re there to boost his confidence.

Kang Taehyun

Restrictions - You love living without restrictions. Taehyun’s overprotectiveness is suffocating you. One last straw is when he calls you out for your dress choice.

Huening Kai

Comforting him - Kai’s childhood cat passes away, leaving him struck with grief. You are there to comfort him through the tears.

27 notes · View notes

kflixnet · 1 year ago

Text

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

• abby, [ enhyqenn + luvsellie ] ↳ she/her | en- “simply existing on the knowledge that i got to see enhypen irl.”

• ace, [ hyuukais + sun-of-ghosts ] ↳ they/it | txt, skz “god gave me hueningkai as apology for everything else in my life.”

• aisha, [ jenotapes ] ↳ any pronouns | nct “in a mental relationship with we go up mv mark.”

• aiya, [ aisclosed + aisopen + aisnextdoor ] ↳ she/her | en-, nct dream “feeding into my own delusions.”

• alexa, [ cherryhanji ] ↳ she/her | skz “i know i'm a handful, but that's why you got two hands!”

• ally, [ winterchimez + midnightfantasiez ] ↳ she/her | tbz “jesus take the wheel.”

• amanda, [ lee--felix ] ↳ she/they | skz, svt, en- “fics write themselves actually, i’m just the middleman with computer access.”

• angel, [ dadonbabysworld ] ↳ she/her | skz “wait did i just fail?”

• anne, [ bikerjongho + applejongho ] ↳ she/her | atz, skz “i just think that jongho in a leather jacket.”

• aries, [ ninihoons ] ↳ she/her | bp, bts, en- “stream daydream.”

• ariku, [ arikiu ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt “are you wi-fi? because i feel a connection.”

• artai, [ seokminded ] “artai is the name, delulu is the game.” ↳ she/her | svt

• artemis, [ ctrlemis + ddeonusbf ] ↳ they/them | en-, ive “sunoo will never be your bias the same way he’s** my** bias.”

• ash, [ ethereal-engene ] ↳ she/her | atz, en-, svt, txt, tbz, nct, cravity “free falling into another universe? sounds about right.”

• august, [ sunboki ] ↳ she/her | skz, en- “...it's a crying scene again isn't it.”

• autumn, [ smileyerim ] ↳ she/her | nct, skz “if you make me the banker in monopoly i will cheat and steal all of the money, that is a promise.”

• avis, [ yoongimooni + avis-writeshq ] ↳ she/her | bts, en-, skz “stay sexcie besties 🫰”

• ayzie, [ hyubcore ] ↳ any pronouns | d6, n-flying, nct, onewe, the rose “the angst connoisseur! for anyone who needs to just feel something.”

• bai, [ hwaightme ] ↳ she/her | atz “in my chaotic era.”

• bee, [ heecyon ] ↳ she/her | en- “loving ourselves can be a tough journey, but we will get there.”

• benny, [ jakes-tummy + jisungs-tummy ] ↳ he/him | en-, txt “might just make out with your mom and become your stepdad.”

• betty, [ totalbetty ] ↳ she/her | nct “can someone go to my settings and turn off anxiety mode?”

• bii, [ bichaeng ] ↳ she/her | twice, svt, atz, nct dream, skz, en-, ive “i think i just lost my last two braincells.”

• boo, [ horangboosadan + ladybugsfanfics ] ↳ they/them | svt “there exists as many definitions of love as there are stars in the universe.”

• bree, [ jaeminri ] ↳ she/her; svt, en- “a hopeless romantic has heart shaped, pastel pink brain cells with sticky white accents.”

• brooke, [ lebrookestore ] ↳ she/her | nct, en- “taeyong’s bitch (it’s true).”

• cai, [ ohvu + one16core ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt “why so complicated.”

• cait(lin), [ sw1mmingfoolz + svtsunshine ] ↳ any pronouns | skz, svt, nct, wayv “tch, hairband 😏.”

• carmela, [ carmelakimtodoroki ] ↳ she/her | atz, txt, tbz, en-, nct (all), svt, skz, p1h, bts “there are no enemies in life. only friends and lessons.”

• cath, [ magicshopaholic + deathcabindiagonalley ] ↳ she/her | bts “till watching grey's anatomy in the year of the lord 2022″

• chaerin, [ whoschr ] ↳ she/her | en- “playing: strawberry moon by twice.”

• charlie, [ 2009-jooyeonly ] ↳ any pronouns | skz, txt, enha, p1h, svt, bts, xdh, nct, bnd, zb1, ooo, riize, ive “pasta.”

• cherry, [ staranghae ] ↳ she/her | svt, ateez, skz, txt “studying can wait but this fic can't.”

• cien, [ hacien ] ↳ he/him | ghost9, svt “xu minghao is so 🤭.”

• cin, [ cinnabunhwa ] ↳ any pronouns | skz, atz, svt “park seonghwa owns my entire life.”

• dala, [ jluver + urh20gf ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt, skz, svt “i have no social skills but one time someone told me i'm funny (it was my mom).”

• d(r)ea, [ yuyusuyu ] ↳ she/her | atz, tbz “i love men (yunho)! men are so slay (yunho)!”

• ej (or jj), [ tzyuki ] ↳ any pronouns | en-, txt “i can’t write angst if my life depended on it.”

• eli, [ peachyho ] ↳ anything but she | atz, en- “hey wanna see my collection of skulls ?? maybe we can add yours to the collection haha jk... unless?”

• ella, [ nomniki ] ↳ she/her | en-, skz, txt “let’s play forever i just wanna be your dog.”

• eve, [ hwaflms ] ↳ she/her | atz, nct, skz, tbz “men who aren't hwang hyunjin, stfu <3.”

• fae, [ haerinz + jangwonie ] ↳ she/her | en-, ive “wonwon cross enthusiast !!♡.”

• faith, [ keiwook ] ↳ she/her | zb1 “i don't think park gunwook is real.”

• hanny, [ koroktsuya ] ↳ she/her | en-, bts “searing heart, take me now.”

• jella, [ moonjella ] ↳ she/her | skz “day [???] of missing han jisung.”

• jiah, [ okwonyo ] ↳ she/he | en-, lesserafim, svt, txt “from my heart to yours”

• jj, [ jj-stay ] ↳ any pronouns | skz “life is not a fairy tale so if you lose your shoe at 12 your drunk.”

• kai, [ honeyhuii ] ↳ they/she | every group and soloists “gotta blast choo choo train.”

• kaira, [ woobly ] ↳ they/she | atz, tbz, p1h “the devil works hard, but i - don’t, sorry.”

• kalli, [ cherryeoniis ] ↳ she/her | nct, txt, en- “if we never try, how will we know?”

• lana, [ kazmura ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt “delusion k*lls.”

• lela, [ hwasdollie ] ↳ she/they | txt, atz, bts “park seonghwa. that’s it, that’s the quote.”

• lia, [ angelwonie ] ↳ she/her | bts, en-, skz, txt “i’m in my delulu era <3.”

• mai, [ maiwon ] ↳ any pronouns | en- “snorts.”

• moon, [ moonlighthoon ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt, &team “coming up with a story idea and images of how i want it to be is easy. now if i could just get the words to write themselves, that'd be great!”

• mya, [ myaheartsmarkie ] ↳ she/her | nct “wait....what were we just talking about again?”

• nala, [ celestialgyu ] ↳ she/her | itzy, txt “wdym i can't pay off my student loans in yeonjun pcs?”

• nani, [ xfirebenderx ] ↳ she/her | svt “i will soon forget the color of your eyes and you’ll forget mine.”

• nyx, [ dreamyyeosang ] ↳ she/her | atz, skz, txt “brb, getting a degree in making bad desicions ;).”

• pearl, [ eumppattv ] ↳ she/her | en-, zb1 “being delulu is my job.”

• rae / raena, [ reikaryu + raevyng ] “your local starbucks and seungkwan enthusiast” ↳ she/her | nct, svt, tbz

• rie, [ pyeonghongrie + pyeonghongrie-main + pyeonghongreations ] ↳ he/him | atz, txt “i may have girlbossed too close to the sun..”

• rose, [ yyawnjun + nxtsnw ] ↳ she/they; en-, svt “fluff and delusional over the moon <3.”

• s, [ moonlightjongin + taexkai ] ↳ she/her | exo, shinee, superm, bts, atz, skz “cuz when 🥳 we jumping 🤸‍♂️ and popping 🎉 we jopping 💃.”

• sab, [ icysab ] ↳ she/her | en-, txt “i was a lesbian until choi beomgyu.”

• seol, [ wvnkoi ] ↳ she/her | en-, zb1, txt “why be scared when you breathe the same air as the lee heeseung??”

• tia, [ myonos ] ↳ she/her | en- “i am winging it.”

• tori, [ qianinterprises ] ↳ she/her | nct “exploring worlds and universes through the safety of a computer screen. that’s what fanfiction is.”

• val, [ fairybinie ] ↳ she/they | txt “let’s just assume everyone in here doesn’t like me.”

• yen, [ yenqa ] “can u can a can as a canner can can a can” ↳ she/they | en-

• yeonie, [ wonryllis ] ↳ she/her | en- “kkakong! ^#^.”

• z, [ kmgkmg + fairyzar ] ↳ they/them | svt, nct “assa hongsam, everybody hongsam!”

• zoe, [ zi-ever ] ↳ she/her | svt, ive, skz, en-, txt “follow your dreams yea ofc but follow me too.”

#kfn: memberlist

2 notes · View notes

starjxsung · 9 months ago

Note

Star my darling,

I’ve sent the selfies to your discord, as Felix would say on bbl, I hope you enjoy the gifts. 🎀

Speaking of 7/11, I would love to go on a date with you and buy our favorite donuts for each other. I really love the big glazed ones with Chocolate on top! They’re so insanely good. If someone came up to tell me that the 7/11 donuts had CRACK c0caine in them I would full heartedly agree with them. They’re just so addictive.

I like to pair my donuts with a nice cup of coffee, (specifically a caramel macchiato since that’s one thing my job has never failed to teach me.) and it’s delicious. However, I’m probably going to stop for awhile since I caved in and bought some today but I had the WORST stomach pain after and I had to lie down and think about life for a moment.

I hope you’re doing well, how’s work? Are you doing okay? Hopefully nobody has given you too much trouble.

Also, did you hear of SKZ reportedly having a comeback July 19th? I want to believe it but you know how stays are LOL. In March people were saying they were going to have a comeback in April but you see where that went. I’m a little more convinced since people have proof this time.

That’s all the time I have for right now, until next time my love. 🤍

-Cutie anon 🎀

Hi my angel sorry this took so long to respond to I genuinely spent like 4 hours staring at your face and yearning inconsolably. you are so beautiful and I thoroughly enjoyed my gifts. And I love u !

I would also not be surprised if 7/11 donuts were made so lovingly with CRACK lmfaooo I could genuinely eat an entire case of them. First date idea we eat an entire case of donuts at 7/11 and then nobody else can buy donuts for the rest of the day bc they’re all sold out !

STOP donuts and coffee are my favorite fucking breakfast combo EVER…. I am a sweet breakfast person through and through. I think that was my breakfast every single day in college at my uni’s coffee shop. The people knew me by name and the baristas used to add extra caramel to my macchiatos bc they knew I loved them sweet 🫶 the way we both have the same favorite breakfast. Marriage next !

I’m doing well! Work is work (busy) and my week was full of presentations and meetings. I spent all of yesterday at my parents’ house for no reason in particular and I’m currently getting ready for a run. Just the mundanes of life tbh

I also did hear about the July comeback! I think it’s very plausible to align with their Q2 projections but I also wouldn’t be surprised if stays were lying because you know how they are LMAO. Though I did see many reputable accounts tweeting it so I’m assuming it’s true (!!!)

I love you so much and I hope you have the best weekend my love. Eat some good food (and hopefully no stomach aches this time around) and drink a good caramel macchiato for me please. kiss kiss

💕🫶💘

#cutie anon <3 #ask

1 note · View note

koorminii · 2 years ago

Text

COLLEGESLUTS.COM — IDEA 686 | HHJ

Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.

There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.

PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au

WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)

WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…

A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!

i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾‍💻

mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨

There are three things you hate more than anything.

Your english lit. professor

Frat parties

last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.

It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.

Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.

You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.

Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—

“Hello, can you hear!?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.

“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”

“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”

“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”

The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.

Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.

Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.

Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).

To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.

There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.

“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”

You grunt.

“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”

You hum.

“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.

When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.

You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.

“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.

“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”

Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.

“What do you want, Hyunjin?”

The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.

“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.

“See you later.”

And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.

Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.

There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:

1. College

2. Back alley blowjobs

3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.

Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.

It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.

Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.

He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”

“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”

“Bro.”

“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”

“It’s not your typical website.”

“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”

“Does she know that?”

“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”

Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.

“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”

Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”

“Not fucking funny.”

Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.

Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.

The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.

Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.

Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.

The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.

Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.

They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.

Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.

The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.

Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.

The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.

You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.

Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.

Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.

The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.

Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.

The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.

A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.

When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.

When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.

The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.

It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.

“Bug!”

Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.

“You didn’t hear me, bug?”

“Stop calling me bug.”

“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.

You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.

Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early, pretty.”

“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”

You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.

“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”

It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.

“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”

Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.

“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.

I’ll come with you.

We can sit together.

No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.

“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”

“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”

“I didn’t run away.”

“You ran away.”

“I didn’t run.”

Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”

“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”

“I don’t take him seriously.”

“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”

You snort.

“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”

When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.

“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.

“Are you gonna explain the feud—”

“No.”

In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.

The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.

You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.

“You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”

“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”

“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”

“Because it’s not.”

You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.

“Are you done?”

“Leave me alone.”

“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.

“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.

“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?

“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”

“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”

All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.

Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.

“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”

“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”

“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”

“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”

“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”

“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”

Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”

Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”

You sigh, “Seungmin…”

“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”

“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”

“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”

“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”

“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”

“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.

“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.

“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”

You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.

You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.

You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.

You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.

The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.

You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.

Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.

“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.

But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.

Hyunjin is confused.

The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.

Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.

He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.

The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.

His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.

HJ: I got it

BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets

HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?

BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.

Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.

It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.

The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.

Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.

He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.

Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.

Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.

You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.

You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.

You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.

The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.

The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.

The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.

“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.

“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”

“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”

You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.

It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.

What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.

You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.

“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”

Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.

“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.

When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.

“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”

“Hyunjin”, You offer.

“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”

“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”

“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”

“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.

“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”

You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.

You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.

You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.

And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.

pup: be ready by 9

you: ok!!!!!

you: i miss you

There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.

If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.

This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.

It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.

There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.

When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.

You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.

Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.

“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.

“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.

“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”

“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.

You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.

No no no no no.

You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.

You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.

Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.

You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.

“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”

You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.

When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.

You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.

“Hey, bug.”

Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.

“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”

You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.

Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”

You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”

“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”

Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”

“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”

You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”

“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.

“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”

You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.

“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”

“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”

“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.

Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.

Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”

“No, we can’t.”

Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.

“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”

“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.

“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”

“…You can help me?”

Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”

He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.

“Go easy on me.”

“Of course, bug.”

You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.

“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I do it again?”

There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.

“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.

The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.

Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.

“W-what do I do?”

Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”

Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.

Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.

“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.

"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”

Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.

His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?

"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.

You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.

“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

“Yes.”

It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.

Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”

“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.

A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.

The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.

His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”

“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”

“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”

Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.

And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.

Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.

He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.

“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.

“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.

It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.

You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.

The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.

You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.

Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.

Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.

“You okay?”

You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.

The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.

One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.

“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”

You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.

Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”

You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.

“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.

Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.

He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.

You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.

“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”

“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.

Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.

“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.

“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.

“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”

Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”

“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”

“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”

The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.

“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.

a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!

not-so-mini taglist (there’s so many of y’all !!???): @chrisbahng @seonghwatoothless @bubblelixie @199719932000 @imsuchasimp00 @hyu-hl @oddinaryfelix @raspbinniecreme @fa3body @kittykatkrissa @andreaswrld @hattorihaechan @lachinitaaaaa @j-0ne25 @bangchanbabygirlx @ni-sh @green-orangeade @sincerely-skz @exclusivej3ss @elizalabs3 @lili-kims-blog @curiousgworge @midsoulz @sawadabegum @reighlee-greaves @lotus-dly @blcar @impossiblewritingrebel @yourhwngness @idek-at-this-point-lol @multihoe-net @hyun-bun @hwan-g @ughbehavior @rindomo @awesomelycoolworld @springdeity @todolyn @meowminhosblog @hyunelixies @emotionalwreckkk-blog @seungschacco @avyskai @cvfechan @jeyelleohe @vvsmydiamonds127 @chriscentric @simpforpunzngl @be-a-spacequeen @svintsandghosts @myjisung @hanjiesgf

*** if your tag didn’t work make sure your blog is visible! if i somehow missed you when tagging i offer a sincere apology <3

#hyunjin scenarios #skz smut #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x female reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #skz x reader

2K notes · View notes