#IDNMT speaks

[i-did-not-mean-to]

You’re doing great.

Your story is beautiful.

Your art is delightful.

You don’t need smut to conjure up feeling.

You don’t need explicitly tagged darkness to be deep. (And people who need to be told that there’s lore, worldbuilding, trauma, healing etc aren’t half as smart and intellectual as they think they are).

Smut and fluff are not dumb or shallow.

People who are rude just to be rude are not worth your time.

People who love what you do will not always tell you.

Don’t give up. You’re doing a great thing, and I believe in you.

Stay true to yourself and do what makes you happy.

Fuck those other cunts. Let them stew in their salty acid until they’re pickled.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

This is the story of how a quasi-stranger saved my life.

Tw for suicidal ideation.

Some 8 years ago (long before I got here), I was stuck in an unhappy marriage and a dead end job after leaving my dream job when it turned into a nightmare.

I was fully ready to go into the long night to escape my life.

And then, a girl much younger than I, started inviting me to things.

Nothing big. Just asking whether I'd attend the next basketball game on the coming weekend. Making plans to eat ice cream and sushi.

Week after week, she made plans with me. Made me promise to come.

Y'all know how I can't break my word without suffering agony.

So, weeks turn into months.

Today, 8 years later. I'm alive. She's my best friend still. Also, I left my ex and am now married to the basketball player we went to support.

This post is right. Keep making plans 🌻

the secret to life is always having something to look forward to

[scyllas-revenge]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @lordoftherazzles and @i-did-not-mean-to (although compared to idnmt's 550+ fanfics this will look pretty sparse XD

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14! One is a collection of a couple of short fics, the others are all stand-alones.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

204,153

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Tolkien, pretty exclusively. I don't know many other fandoms well enough to be comfortable writing in them for now

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Burn Like Cold Iron takes first place for everything as my only long fic. Then How to Cope with a Middle Earth Bed Shortage, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Customer Service, and A Helping Hand.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! There are a few here and there that slip through the cracks when I just don’t have enough spoons to reply, but I do my best!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write happy endings as a rule lol, so this is tough. The closest to angst might be Burn Like Cold Iron just because it will have some bittersweetness thrown in alongside the happy ending, but I definitely wouldn't call it an angsty ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Considering most of my fic endings are pretty equally happy, my favorite is The Floor Is Molasses, because I just want Boromir to be happy and hanging out in the Shire.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A few times on FFN in the past. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid it almost entirely on AO3. Which is good bc it does not take much to make me cry 😂

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have posted one (1) explicit fic and we shall NEVER SPEAK OF IT (I am easily embarrassed and it’s a miracle I posted it at all)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nooooo, they've always intimidated me. Between all the canon characters and OCs I don't have room for anyone else!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oof I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be honored!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven’t done much more than brainstorm with fandom friends about plot points and stuff. But it sounds like fun and I hope I can cowrite something with one of my much more talented mutuals someday!!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I haven’t been super obsessed with a ship in years, so this is a tough question, especially since I’ve been focused on OC pairings lately. I’ve been pretty into Boromir/Theodred lately (but it’s such a tragic pairing and my poor heart can’t stand it), but hmm...my all-time favorite?? I'm a big fan of Nina and Matthias from Six of Crows, and Katniss and Peeta from the Hunger Games, and OOH Jaime and Brienne from Game of Thrones! There that's the one. All-time favorite. I did it. Phew.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I fully intend to finish my one ongoing WIP, Burn Like Cold Iron, and beyond that I really don’t want to start a fic I don’t think I’ll finish.

But I’ve written bits and pieces of a Middle Earth murder mystery I was really excited about, and I don’t have high hopes for actually fleshing that one out. I’ve never plotted out a murder mystery and would need to do some hardcore planning and plotting and scheming for it first and my brain is just not there right now XD

16. What are your writing strengths?

Aaahhh I am not good at complimenting myself (my therapist made me compliment myself last week and I almost cried lol) but I think I’ve gotten pretty good at writing engaging dialogue. I also am happy with a lot of my OCs, especially in my all-OC fic Something Burrowed, Something Blue, although I want to keep working at developing more complex characters in the future.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My writing speed. I’m so slow. So so slow. Dear lord.

That and detailed plots and worldbuilding. Basically I need to brainstorm more before I start writing, and get a better sense for where things are going and how they'll turn out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I could probably throw some Italian into a fic without much trouble lol. But Tolkien languages like sindarin honestly intimidate the hell out of me- I will jump through SO many hoops to avoid it. I am a coward

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior cats. I was 12 and submitted it to my English teacher for extra credit. I had no shame 😂

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s probably unfair to my other fics to say Burn Like Cold Iron since it’s so much longer than everything else I’ve written. So besides that one, probably What Could Possibly Go Wrong? I had fun exploring different characters’ points of view and sprinkling in lots of foreshadowing and dramatic irony for future plot points.

Tagging: @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book, @hobbitwrangler, @jaimehwatson, @frosticenow, @fishing4stars, @sotwk and anyone else who wants to play!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

A Sunday Message

I say this as a mod for Scribbles & Drabbles.

I say this as a mediocre artist.

I say this as a fanfic author.

Be kind to yourself

Life throws us off balance more often than we'd like; you're NOT alone in this.

You're doing great!

You don't owe it to anyone to write/draw/deliver more, or different things, or more/less spice.

Do not make yourself miserable by telling yourself that you should do things you cannot or do not want to do.

I love you! I am rooting for you! And I have absolute faith in your abilities!

Please, rest, recover, heal. We'll all be here still when you come back, and we'll love you just the same!

(And if you ever need someone to hold your hand across the endless ocean that is the internet, you know where to find me!)

[i-did-not-mean-to]

@cilil and @melkors-big-tits are evil. They are also my friends and I'll defend them with my blood and my life if necessary.

I will stand with my evil angsty friends.

And the porny ones.

And the unapologetically fluffy ones.

And the supportive gen crowd.

And the truly, eye-openingly kinky ones.

And the wise rarepair shippers.

And those who are all aflame for the very popular ships...

In short, if you're non-hateful, supportive, understanding, and not a trash human who spews venom and infamy out of sheer envy and misery, I will stand with you.

I will stand by you.

Even if I don't understand. Even if it's not my thing...because you might just be what is missing in my life.

it's good for your mental health to have mutuals who are wildly horny about kinks which do nothing at all for you

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Pearls of wisdom from my husband

So, we're rewatching HOTD.

I must have made a sound. Husband looks up, wary.

Embarrassed, I claim that I feel sorry for the poor kids.

And that man, love of my life, light of my days, looks me dead in the eye and says:

Yet you only cry out for the one you liked to see naked!

I waffle. I bluster. I protest.

Without relenting in his imperious stance, my husband then decrees that it's too late for me to go back. Ewan Mitchell in all his roles is now a blorbo. I am doomed.

I slink away, shamed, to sit on the porch with my laptop, typing these words.

@laurfilijames can I talk to you, please? I'm...confused by the rise of a new blorbo!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Heaven help me!

Dear The Last Kingdom fandom,

Are you alive?

I'm IDNMT and I delight in writing smutty Modern AU stories about medieval-ish virgins. Is that something?

@errruvande please help! The brainrot is real :(

Edit: I've not yet finished the show. I shall do so...but eeeeh...

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Random thought

I want to preface this by saying that I am NOT in the HOTD fandom--I do not seek to have discussions about the quality of the show, the deviation from the books, GOT, or anything else.

I just wanted to say, on the subject of that infamous brothel scene that has the internet in a tizzy, it seems...

THAT, ladies and gents, is a PERFECT body in my book.

I am standing by that statement. Don't come for me.

(And if you do, I'll write a horrible Silm/HOTD smut crossover out of sheer petulance, because I never said I was mature!)

Be kind. Be generous. Spread light.

(And don't let anyone convince you that your tastes, predilections, or preferences are bad, because they're either uncool or too cool. You do you! People who hype something just because it's popular AND people who tear something down just because it's popular are exactly the same: insipid and not worth your time or consideration!)

[i-did-not-mean-to]

As the cat is out of the bag, and @the-red-butterfly suggested I make a fandom post...

This is also me LOL

(Don't shoot me!)

As for fandoms...

Things I've seen but not read/written for (but I know others do lol)

Castlevania //partially

Twilight

Harry Potter (not a huge fan, sorry, don't give me HP suggestions)

OFMD //partially

Good Omens

Sandman

Game of Thrones

The Boys

A shit ton of Crime shows

Robert Pattinson's early movies

Gerard Butler's early movies

Adam Brown's movies (other than Hobbit and POTC)

Wheel of Time (OMG I see a pattern)

Glee (lol)

ROP (oh yes, I've seen it)

The Umbrella Academy (presently watching the last season)

Anything Jane Austen & Bridgerton

A terrible amount of Costume Drama

Many, many Disney movies

A fair share of the Marvel Universe (but not all)

A few musicals

Westworld //partially

Hannibal

Horror movies

Sherlock Holmes (As many as I can get my hands on)

Anything Agatha Christie

Crimson Peak (with @laurfilijames)

The main Star Wars Movies (At least the 6 first ones lol)

Things I've seen and have written/read for (and would write more)

Richard Armitage's movies (and I would read more maybe)

The Hobbit & LOTR

HOTD

The Last Kingdom

Adam Brown in Hobbit/POTC

A few other musicals (mainly AUs)

A few other Disney movies (AUs again)

Lucifer

So, if you like any of these, please feel free to talk to me...

(BTW, the biggest category on my Ao3 is the Silmarillion which is neither a movie nor a show...)

If we're counting books as well: Malazan

So, that's a (non-exhaustive) list of things I like <3

Welcome

Hello and welcome!

This is a 18+, absolutely no minors, no bigots, no racists blog. Kindness is super important to me, so please go live your best life elsewhere!

Being a little coward, I made this side blog to post fics outside of my usual fandom!

💖Osferth💖

❦ Peer Pressure (Modern AU, Explicit, ongoing)

💎Aemond💎

⁂ The Pretty Prince (thinking about posting)

[i-did-not-mean-to]

One of the days where I wish the internet was a room. I want to hug my friends and smell their skin. I want to feel warmed and comforted by their physical presence.

I want to see people from across the room I've never even interacted with personally and go "Oh yeah, that's (friend)'s buddy. Aren't they gorgeous and elegant?"

I yearn to stare obliquely at my idols and sigh wistfully.

I want to perceive people as the humans they are, I need them to fill my senses and drown out the dread.

I miss you. I've never met you, never held you, never traced the curve of your smile with my adoring gaze...but I miss you, and it breaks my heart 😭

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Apology

Dear friends, I have not been around much lately.

I have too much on my plate, and I am working hard to get all the things I've promised to write written.

As soon as that is done, and I have some time to breathe again, I shall read your fics and reply to your sweet messages and comments!

I love you all very much! Thank you for your support and your loving words!

Keep going, I can't wait to read all your amazing fics!!!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

This pic is from the Internet. All my tattoos are b/w and he has none!

Happy birthday to my husband, my best friend, my most loyal defender.

It's just him and me, his games, my blorbos, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a world of imagination.

Brainstorm partner, Zelda teacher, and earnest enjoyer of my particular brand of madness...

I wish y'all to find someone who loves you for all the things you're unsure about, who cherishes all the little quirks that make you cringe, and who is by your side when the days are dark.

Best of birthdays to the best of men who, no matter what he says, is an Angbang shipper. 🤣

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Please, anyone who sees this and is subscribed to me on Ao3, unsubscribe before S&D reveals.

Please come back after 🥺

I have posted all of the fics separately.

All of them.

There are a lot. (Like more than the last time. By quite a bit)

I love you. I love your support, but please, don't do that to your inbox.

Besides kinktober, the November stories, upcoming thauc, and the upcoming calendar stories, you do not want a very beautiful, round number of ficlets to hit you like a tsunami.

I love you❤️

I've been working hard on my S&D contributions these past few days.

If I posted all of them individually my AO3 works would end up in the triple digits but let's maybe not post 50+ fics one by one

[i-did-not-mean-to]

What is the thing you forget about yourself regularly and, when you rediscover it, it makes your life light up for a second?

Mine is that I love music in general and singing in particular. I can go weeks and months without really thinking about it, and then I spend 2 hours singing along to YouTube...and my heart just feels cleansed.

Growing up without support almost took this from me...

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Happy Holidays

My friends, I am wishing you only the very best!

Lots of love from husband and me! (and the dogs and the cat, but they are illiterate and cannot actually speak)

I love you very much 💞

P.S. If you need anything, feel free to reach out to me ☺️

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Shout-out to authors who reply to DMs and comments IN DMs to cackle, comfort, and conspire.

I especially like it when authors hand me handkerchiefs and tea after they emotionally destroyed me.

You're the real MVPs ❤️