#IDC WHAT IT IS IM WILLING TO ACCEPT IT

[hakusins]

OKAY GOOD CAUSE FREAK ANON IS HERE TO STAY i started playing hsr because of you and maaaay start writing pregnant boothill (i have my otp which is v rare for him so EXPECT THE WORST SHIP EVER)

HDJEBSJWBEJWHE ???? IM CRYING 😭😭😭 MY BLADE RAMBLINGS GOT YOU TO PLAY HSR DKENDJEBEV

Oh dont worry honey, boothill being my second wife means im an All x boothill shipper. As long as boothill has the robussy in the relationship, i'm willing to accept anything. Tho personally i'm actually very fond of sunday x boothill BDJEBDJEBE

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[robbierants]

Black Butler Rant: Alois Trancy, hate, Mental illness, and Gender roles? Spoilers for season two of the show

IM NOT HATING ON ANY OF THE CHARCTHERS

Ive done a rant on Alois b4 but idc

Alois trancy seems to be hated for various reasons, i’ve heard fans talk about what an awful character he is. He’s a whore, he’s selfish, abusive, evil ect. The curious thing is all the Black Butler Characters are immoral, only about two or three aren’t. And Alois isn’t the cruelst, or most hard hearted of any of the characters shown on Black Butler. Madam Red is Jack the Ripper, The Count Druit selling people on the black market, and Agni was a criminal who slaughtered people just becuse he had class issues. Now maybe these characters aren’t that popular, but i know of three very amoral characters who are loved by the fans who can’t stand Alois.

My one and only Love, Grell is a comedic phycopath, who murdered Madam Red, her lover, for refuseing to kill Ciel. But humor aside lets take a look at her personality, She is completly selfish, vain and takes stalking and ignoreing consent to a whole new level. Will sleep with anything that moves demon dogs included, Remember she was ready to help Ciel, becuse he promised to let her do what she wanted to Sebastian. The guy who hates and is repulsed by her. She even says dispite her feelings for Sebastion she’d hack him up and is completly serious when she says it. Grell has never showed remorse regret or compassion for anyone or anything, she has no redeeming qualities, but people still love her (including me)

2) Sebastian- Lets ignore how hot he is, although fan girls and gays do realize he’s a mutilated crow right? Another Amoral character! he is a demon who is preying on a child, seasoning his soul so he can simply have a good meal. Sebastian smirks at Ciel’s suffering and pain constantly. Manipulates and lies when it suits him and enjoys squishing humans who have no chance aginst him like bugs. In season two he violated Ciel’s trust lied to him, and once Ciel was a demon and had no soul Sebastion killed him. Proving the only warm feelings Sebastian has are toward kitties.

Lastly Ciel himself! he’s saddistic, cold, cruel and willing to sacrifice whats left of his family and freinds for revenge to avenge his pride. He has already killed two people and ordered the deaths of many more. Shows no remorse and will let his Demon be abused to suit his purposes or will pimp him out.

All these characters have personality traits Alois has been accused of or warped into by fanfiction. He does in fact share these same traits with other characters so why are they loved for them, while he’s hated? I think it has to do with gender roles and the idea of people being unable to accept, what they do not percieve as normal behavior. People hate what they don’t understand.

It all starts with media, years of watching boys and men in fiction shug off every trauma and abuse, and remain unaffected by it has made viewers forget. In real life Boys who go through half the things they go through in movies, books, and television would end up completly messed up.

Media and society stresses this idea of manly strength boys, don’t get hurt, boys don’t cry! boys can take anything! Any boy who can’t is weak.

Hence, complete contempt for Alois Trancy’s character, who gets hysterical when the lights go off and cries a lot and gets scared.

He’s very emotional, needy and immature in contrast the Ciel, who’s cold detachment, apparent machurity and calm disposition reflects the manly ideal. Ciel goes around ordering Sebastion to kill people and in fiction male characters are judged by their willingness to weild power.

Alois has power but would rather have Claude as an freind then a slave. Plus Alois likes blue bells, wears frilly nightgowns, dresses up as a girl and likes soft girly colors like pink and purple and his disreguard for gender roles and implied sexuality is bound to make anyone who’s homophobic or insercure uncomfortable. He dosen’t care about dignity, money or power like Ciel, he instead wants comfort, safety and love.

Alois is mentally ill so his behaviors and mood swings scare people, and make them feel uncomfortable, much like how people react when confronted with real mental illness. Its easier to judge then to understand.

When people see someone like Alois they feel resentful and feel the need to put them in their place.

They scream "Stop acting like that!” But thats why I love Alois. Throughout the show he was told by everyone, that he was filthy and worthless, crazy and weak, that his emotions were wrong, hell even his demon Butler Claude told him, he was unworthy becuse he loved him.

Everyone around him perfers the cold detached almost inhumane Ciel Phantomhive. Only Hannah Annafellows accepts and loves Alois for who he is, faults and all. She helps Alois triumph in the end and in the end its he who controls the fates of the oh so perfect Ciel, and both demons.

In the end he wins the game becuse he embraces his emotions and turns them into a strength beating the more manly, cold, detached, and more popular characters. Claude is also really detatched cold and calculateing and Sebastian simply uses emotion to manipulate people, underneath the mask he’s also pretty chilly.

This makes some fans angry becuse Alois character not only challanges social and gender roles with his behavior but succeeds even when it seems he’d been crushed like a bug. Grell is aloud to have the same behaviors as Alois and viewers are fine with it, becuse Grell is a trans women.

Women are suposed to be passionate and emotional according the the sterotype.

Or maybe i’m over thinking it and fans just hate Alois becuse he’s going against Ciel and they like Ciel and he put Sebastian out by makeing him unable to eat Ciel’s soul. And maybe people just love Grell because of her big chain saw. I don’t know for sure those were just my thoughts on the matter.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiiiiiiiiiiii. How are you? What are you up to? Been in a reading slump again. The year is not going well i blame Jimin. Alot been happening

1)why can’t i get into succession? I dont understand i have watched ep 1 3 times and i can’t get into it 🤦🏾‍♀️

2) is hybe ok? I am confused and also yes to drama entertain me i guess

3)i only have been here for some of shinee military service and Taemin(obviously), are military man allowed to do what i have been seeing posting on social media, doing promo?

4) your faves are taking this military life under the radar 18 months too seriously, show me your face 😡

5) also i was looking at Jimin video from when Jk went to cook for him(idc what they are but if i had someone like Jungkook i would be married) i understand why jungkook is obsessed with Jimin. I too would go cook after a concert tired for him, i too would be a pick me for him, i too want to be rejected time after time on live when i offer to go to his house. Not even too fuck him ill be content just to sit there and look at him bonus if he could throw me some cuddles. Can you tell im jealous? Im not 😈

Hiiiiiii @5813!!!! It's always lovely to hear from you 🩷

Thanks for sectioning your ask, it makes this so much easier.

1) Don't force yourself, perhaps it's simply not the right time. Or it will never be. There's plenty others to choose from.

I was in a similar situation many years ago when I tried to watch The Sopranos and I couldn't get past the first episode. I found it boring and not as entertaining as Goodfellas or The Godfather. Fast forward, I just finished the series last night and I can finally say that I too have watched one of the greatest series of American television. I can finally understand the jokes and the references. And now, perhaps at my current age and just my mood in general, I could sit down and get immersed into it.

2) All is not ok in Hybe land and I personally have no concern for it. Let them all fight. It's never sunshines and rainbows in the corporate world.

3) Hmm, I have to say that I have had some similar questions about this too. Let's say I can accept that projects finalized before enlistment can be released during military service (I'm not willing to go into another debate on this specifically, I've had enough of it, case closed). But posting on social media about said projects? I find it odd and I'm not sure what the rules are. I haven't heard of any negative consequences for them, so what do I know? I was left with the impression that it's not right, but perhaps they are walking a fine line, open to interpretation. In his latest Weverse post, Jungkook mentioned that since he can't promote himself, he opened an account for Bam. So, what is it then? Is it allowed or not?

4) I knew kukumimi would do this, it's on brand and as much as I want to see them, I think it's better that they are keeping it under the radar. I heard they also just finished this intense training they had and they might get some vacation days. Perhaps they will show their faces. It's never the easy way with them, right?

5) I really enjoyed that glimpse into their evening, even if it was in front of the camera. It still felt nice and very lowkey, particularly after a concert. You wouldn't think they were jumping on a stage for two hours before that.

I think we're all jealous of Jungkook and so be it. He said so himself, we will keep being jealous, he'll still hold Jiminie (and cook for him).

[mbirnsings-71]

MADIIII MADI IM FINALLY ANSWERING UR ASK SO IM HERE 2 ASK THE SAME QUESTIONN!!

i want hcs

any of them HAND EM OVER

idc any characters just lemme hear ur thoughts :3 purhaps perchance

OH HEWWO HI HEWWO I FORGOT I ASKED YOU FOR HEADCANNONS NJVDFNVBF- woo boy okay shit SHIT- I don't have a character I've really been attached to at the moment SO I GUESS WE'RE GONNA GO WITH BRUCE HEADCANNONS??? MAYBE?? He's the only one I have at least something for atm-

headcannons under the keep reading because yeehaw

Bruce Wayne Headcannons:

had the BIGGEST Dinosaur hyperfixation as a kid. This is said because I have read two (2) things in the past three days where Bruce mentioning relatives took him to the museum to see dinosaurs LIKE COME ON. He probably knows all about Dinosaurs and it's like a sleeper agent waiting to be activated in him, he probably saw Booster somehow bring back the Jurassic league and had to keep his face neutral as batman while his brain was clocking what each and every dinosaur was. This is where he finally finds some common ground with Damian as well in the early days probably, tentatively trying to form a bond with his biological son and the only way of knowing how is finding something that the kid is interested in and bring up something related to it. That's how Bruce ended up rambling about prehistoric ancestors of common animals for a solid hour in the bat cave.

Transfem Bruce absolutely wears pearls like her mother. Is it to honor and to mourn her or is it to keep up the act of a young socialite? It's probably both. It's probably both a comfort and a heavy weight against her neck, because in some sense her mom is here with her, but in another sense the pearls just seem to weight her down, and one wrong move and all the pearls could go tumbling onto the floor from a broken and improperly knotted cord and she would unintentionally have a recreation of that night in the alley way except this time it's on the marble tiled floor and the blood is only in her memories...

Bruce in general however I think wears his dad's cufflinks or watches pretty regularly while in socialite society. He needs to keep a piece of his parents with him he needs to. Their wedding rings are still in his room, untouched because he doesn't think he's ever going to find someone that he'd love enough that would marry him but accept the job he has to do. He was so close with Selina and Talia but those both crumbled in unforseen ways and it hurt badly, so for now the old wedding rings just stay in his room, not getting used but always staying with it's other half.

I think if Cass were to ever wear pearls she'd look so much like Martha Wayne that Bruce would cry a little. I think Bruce finds qualities in all his kids that I think he would relate to his parents even though they're not biologically related. it's small things really, like interests and certain mannerisms that shouldn't remind him of them but they do. I think each Batkid also gets a Wayne heirloom as well, I just don't know what it would be but the kids are debating it out and Bruce is just sighing and putting down what he plans on leaving for the kids.

Also on the topic of Wills, he does have video messages for the kids if he ends up dying. It's canon, but I think he personalizes them more and records them late at night when the kids are asleep or each one was recorded while he was stuck in the cave on "bed rest". He also recorded one for Alfred in the possibility that he died before the butler did... He misses Alfred a lot...

Which Martha/Thomas/Alfred polycule is canon in my heart goddamn it. All three of them were Bruce's parent and Bruce would absolutely agree about it.

Speaking of Polycules, my opinions on Bruce's sexuality depends on what would better fit a story. like yeah no that man can be Bi, he can be on the aroace spectrum, he can even be poly. I personally like to keep him on the aroace spectrum so he has all three As (Aro, Ace, and Autistic!)

Speaking of Autism!! He is so autsitic and those that don't believe so... Like are we reading the same source material?? That man has such a strict moral code, refuses to put on a Kevlar vest unless it's light and flexible, has struggles communicating and struggles with tone so that most times his words can be read as very monotone, literally has a very blunt way of saying stuff just!! Also I will point at Damian and say that Autism is hereditary and out of Bruce and Talia which one would you expect to have Autism hm? cause Damian is definitely not a neurotypical child!

also yes he had a fear of bats as a child, but I believe after the getting shot and having a bat land in his father's study that Bruce absolutely went into a major rabbit hole to find out everything there could be to know about bats. He researched what bats eat, how they communicate, Natural habitats, all of it. It even got to the point where he learned how to get the bats that reside in the bat cave to trust him and actually come and land on him because he'll offer them food. He has names for all of them and everything and the batkids lose their minds about it every time. Damian wants Bruce to teach him how to do this because this is Damian, the kid who loves animals to death.

Bruce is Jewish, not a headcannon just something I feel like people need to remember is all.

Bruce hasn't watched the mask of Zorro ever since his parents died. It brings up too many traumatic memories for him and he just doesn't know if he could watch the film again. That being said Dick or Jason (one of the two) when they were younger probably wanted to watch it one time and Bruce was just silent before Alfred suggested that mayhaps they choose something else to watch because it is a pg-13 film (Which is such a lame excuse to whichever twelve year old we're putting in this scenario but sure they guess they'll let it slide- Especially when B agrees to watching a horror movie that is so not appropriate for 12 year olds cause he was a little too stunned to think clearly. Trauma and all that whatever and Bruce is just so desensitized to horror movies now from his time of being batman.)

And I think that should be enough headcannons probably <3 THANK YOU FOR THE ASK JAY <3

[night-dark-woods]

15, 21, 23, 24!!

THANK U ECHO this got so long oops.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmm not destiny-specific (i dont have any d2 specific gripes i dont think) & i mostly follow cool gay & trans ppl so this is much less of an issue than in the wider fandom (every so often some Main Fandom Art makes its way to me and i do a full double take) but like. i knowww they are almost all the same character model in-game but can we please get some characters who arent super skinny supermodels in here. please.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

not to sound like an edgelord but. the traveler. if we can acknowledge that the Darkness isnt ontologically Evil, i think we can (PLEASE) acknowledge that the Light isnt inherently good. and im not talking about the superpowers we get, they've (narrative team) made it quite clear that individuals choose to do what they will with based on their own morals. but the traveler is, imo, positioned as a Morally Good Agent Of The Light far more than the witness is Of The Darkness, and i think we need to talk more about the traveler's agenda!!! again, this complexity isnt completely absent from the narrative, but it doesnt feel like those interpretations are... metatextually supported igss? like zavala's frustration with the traveler leaving feels more like a very christian (as someone who was not raised religious) test of faith that zavala (and the canonical YW) have Passed and will be Rewarded.

where's tevis my best friend tevis. we need more characters with that pov. god is real god resurrected you god gave you a second chance at life with no memories of your past and a guardian angel (a "chattering oversoul," to quote toland) to tell you where to go and who deserves to die and raise you every time you fail just to throw you back into the divine crusade. like. lets talk about that a little more!!!

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

this is hard bc i am in general very willing to "yes-and" ANYTHING with a hint of chemistry or a fun dynamic. it may not compell me but if you can point out a narrative similarity btwn characters i will almost always be down. unless its one i hate ("hate" being a strong word. really its just the strongest possible apathy) bc i contain multiudes :thumbsup:.

i can't think of a pairing i started out disliking and then changed my mind about due to fandom unfortunately. the closest would be igss that i hate crow/amanda as its written in the text BUT my perhaps controversial opinion is i think transitioning could fix crow specifically the version of crow i have in my head who did not get uldren's memories back. SotL was so good for the overarching plot of d2 but so so so bad for the type of awoken-enjoyer i am & imo the like... thesis statement of what a guardian is lol!

so unfortunately i dont have an answer for this one (i dont think "i like the pretend version i made up in my head" counts as coming around on a ship lmfao), bc you can pair any two destiny women and ill be like yeah for sure! and i have curated my online space well enough that i rarely see any other kind of ship, and when i do its gay men (o14, uldren/jolyon, someone i follow is cooking something with saladin/drifter which is inspired. i love whatever is happening there) which is like cheering absently for a sports team idc about but support on principle.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

mara. its always fucking mara. literally spent an hour and a half last night rehashing d1 mara-course in a server with someone who has not read any lore. which is fine! thats a fine way to engage with the game! its a valuable perspective! but use i-statements and accept that you are coming to the table with 10% of the facts about the character.

honorable mention goes to anything about redemption arcs (and savathun specifically)- most recently that fuuucking saint killing sav repeatedly lore tab. and if you (general) cant be assed to care about evil women (skill issue, but whatever), thats also backsliding YEARS on saints characterization and i dont even care about saint!!!

so really the answer is misogyny lmfao.

[schrodingersachillesheel]

i finished TSATS and this is the series of texts i sent to my friend (who has no clue what im going on abt but is supportive) after i found out about the hate for it.

it started with angry rambling

"APPARENTLY A BUNCH OF PPL ARE HATING ON TSATS BC RICK RIORDAN DIDNT WRITE FUCKING RED WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE BRUH ITS A SERIES FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS, ADMIT YOUVE BEEN FANDOMIZED AND SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH I STG I HATE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS"

then i managed to create a coherent breakdown of why exactly i was so pissed:

"IT IS A BEAUTIFUL BOOK ABT OVERCOMING CHALLENGES IN RELATIONSHIPS AND LEARNING TO ACCEPT THE BAD WITH THE GOOD. I WALKED INTO THAT KNOWING IT WAS FOR A TARGET AUDIENCE WAY YOUNGER THAN ME BUT I STILL LOVED IT BC I CARED ABT THE CHARACTER NOT MY PERCEPTION OF THE CHARACTER. NICO WASNT OUT OF CHARACTER BC HE CHANGED AND GREW AND HEALED AND SO WHAT IF HE WASNT SOME ANGSTY BROODING TEEN IN A GAY YA ROMANCE NOVEL? HE WAS NICO. I CAME FOR NICO. I CRIED AND I LAUGHED BC I CAN OVERLOOK INCONSISTENCIES FOR AN AMAZING STORY ABOUT THE BRAVERY IT TAKES TO DARE TO CHANGE AND BE DIFFERENT. IDC IF IT WAS CRINGY, BC IF I WANTED A LGBT YA NOVEL ID PICK UP MY FAVORITE LGBT YA AUTHOR (adam silvera <33) I CHOSE TO READ A BOOK FOR PRETEENS. ANYONE THAT READ TSATS CHOSE TO READ A BOOK FOR PRETEENS. ITS NOT GOING TO AGE WITH YOU BC THOSE PRETEENS NEED IT MORE THAN YOU DO. READ IT KNOWING THAT SOME KID OUT THERE FEELS ALONE JUST LIKE YOU DID. SOME KID OUT THERE IS SCARED AND NEEDS TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE NICOS AND WILLS AND PIPERS OUT THERE. i hit the character limit but it just drives me insane"

i saw someone say they could write an essay on this but wouldn't and id just like to say that i fucking LOVE writing essays so i could and i WILL write an essay on this. this silly little series means way too much to me and nico is my favorite character. im not going to let people treat it like that just bc they can't do the one thing that book was written to teach: accept change. you are changing and growing up, you can outgrow things, that doesn't make them BAD. some kid is going to love that book just as much as you loved the original pjo books. if you read that entire book and came out thinking it should have changed with you then i suggest you reread it with an open mind.

You can't expect anyone to follow your definition of maturity. Change, growth, and maturity are personal paths and all you can hope for is that someone will be willing to meet you halfway and merge your paths together. whether it be traumatic response or a genre you used to love, the questions TSATS ask and the moral it drives home are useful, you just have to understand that Rick assumed outgrowing the genre meant learning these lessons. i guess he was wrong.

crazy idea: minor issues are often overlooked if youre not too shallow to see past them.

[mithliya]

Omg, your mom tried to set you up?!!!!! With butch women no less?!!! Im so jealous idk if that would happene with mine 😭 recently she was ljke "oooo😉" at me about my sisters bf having a brother my age. I actually wanted to just go crazy insane bjork gif in that moment. ☹️ how dare you have men liking headcanons (?) about me. Idk whwtt would happen if she found out i was a lesbian. Like she also told me about how excited she was for me to have babies. When i was 13. :|

Also i live in gender capitol like we get taught gender identity spectrum in school and all. So thats why im not sure about there being butch women (or girls i guess bc .. im still a girl hezjnsjs) where i am and i keep feeling bad about having radfem? beliefs like is everyone going to hate me or is that just how it seems online xhxjd or. I dont know if that makes sense

I wish i could just fit in and go along w it but it feels so wrong to me, ... nopee even if i think youre cute im not going to affirm that youre not actually a woman bc your hair is short and you dont wear makeup or dresses it feels so demeaning for both of us. But then am i just making a big deal of nothing ?

Anywaays. Sending love bc peace and love on planett earth. :)

lmao since ive been out for quite some time now, my mom has gone thru the stages of grief and she reached a point where she’s accepted im a lesbian (she would try to convince me to get into a lavender marriage regardless for the sake of image but im not willing neither is my friend she keeps trying to set me up in a lavender marriage with) but she and my auntie have weird kinda homophobic beliefs on who im supposed to date. according to my mom & aunt, there has to be one “girl gay” and one “boy gay” ie one femme & one butch. they think if im gonna be dating women then they should be butch or otherwise masculine women bc it “balances” both parties of the relationship. they say im more feminine & shy & cute around butches and become more “womanly” so therefore i should be with butches 😭😭😭

SO basically yes my mom would meet butch lesbians in bahrain (they’re v recognisable in my country & have their own label too) and would immediately tell them about me and then exchange details w them. ive met 2 lesbians that way but ngl neither are my type and both have some major internalised homophobia to address. one of them was already in a relationship w a bi woman who’s going to leave her to marry a man (& just waiting until the day they must break up which was sad) and immediately started showing me her nudes (arab butches are the weirdest don’t even ask). the other one told me a fucked up story about how her bi ex left her to marry a man without telling her & when she got mad, her bi ex said “you’re just mad bc no man would want you with how you look”. a normal lesbian might’ve simply said “i don’t want men so idc” but the butch i met took it personally and married a man to prove a point. she got lucky bc he died within a few months of their marriage! he was trying to pressure her into sex and even complained to her family about it so if he didn’t die, who knows what trauma she would’ve faced…. also she told me she takes testosterone & steroids bc she’s a body builder and she has this kind of body smell that men often have (probs bc of the hormones) which were all big turn offs for me so. neither worked out.

my mom also still pressures me to have kids and has been since i was a baby 😭 but luckily she’s been overall supportive of me being a lesbian… hopefully your mom will be the same one day. heteronormativity is so annoying lol i hate how every gay person had to deal with our loved ones fantasising about us dating the opposite sex bc they assume we’d be OSA by default.

also no ur not making a big deal of nothing! it’s a big turn off for me having to pretend that a woman not being feminine means she’s not a woman. and it’s annoying having to pretend someone is my boyfriend or w/e else. i think it only becomes more of a turn off the longer you’re out too bc like damn too many of us already pretended to have boyfriends or to be interested in that stuff so being expected to do that to any capacity is just. bad feelings

[toytulini]

new lucifer eps are great so far but i do quickly tire of this framing about love

lucifer be like oh, God cant love us thats his problem

and then being like oh, i cant love chloe, time for that to be a Whole Big Thing and im just sitting here like for fucks sake its obvious he cares about her deeply does it really, really, Have to be Twue Wuv? do you have to say the words? I mean i think hes proven over and over through his actions that he clearly Cares About Her A Lot is that not fucking enough?

[moonlit-imagines]

Longing For My Lover

Druig x reader

warnings: slight eternals spoilers

a/n: go watch eternals and fall in love with him so i get more requests for him. idc if yall think im basic hes just. 🥰🥰

prompt:

Despite how much you had loved each other throughout all those years fighting alongside one another, you decided to go your separate ways. It wasn’t because you were angry or upset with him, nor he with you. It was simply because he was all you had ever known, you wanted the space to evolve with the humans. He accepted it without a fight, wishing you well on your travels. And because he loved you so much, he was willing to let you go.

“I want you to do what’s going to make you happy.” Druig rubbed his hands over your shoulders and arms as you tried not to cry. “Don’t feel bad, my love. We’ll meet again one day.” You nodded, sniffling as the tears began to fall and prompted him to let his emotions loose as well.

“You know I love you dearly, lover.” You sobbed and he laughed while cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears. “Please don’t cry for me.”

“I’ll cry for us.” Druig’s forehead met yours as you stood together one last time, wondering what the infinite future had in store for you considering that the new life you’d be living was just that, new. “I love you, my beautiful y/n. For you, I’d wait a thousand years. I’d travel to Olympia and back if it would make you happy.”

“Stop talking before you make me regret this.” You chuckled through sobs and he finally pulled you into his embrace, tightly squeezing you as he took a deep breath of air, catching your scent one last time before you pulled away. You always loved his hugs, especially when you knew those arms that were wrapped around you weren’t accustomed to anyone else.

“I have one request.” Druig’s signature smirk was bound to surface and that it did as you awaited his next words. “Don’t forget about me, lover.” You bit your lip to stop another sob of laughter and nodded a confirmation, ready to leave for good and shooting him a playful wink on your way out, leaving each other with happy memories of your departure.

Days turned into years. The years turned into centuries, but you never forgot about him. Druig, even if you’d be miles or millennia apart, held a place in your heart that no other being could possibly earn. You often pondered your early days together with him, little exchanges, getaways, battles, and tender moments that caused you to fall with him in the first place. You never did forget about the man.

But life was much different than it was so many years ago. The people, the technology, the science, the society, it had all drastically changed and you wondered if Druig even knew of this. And you wished by the time you had parted that photographs were a thing, the details of his face began to grow fuzzy in your mind.

After all these years, though, you’d never even thought of taking a new lover, deep down you always figured that you’d cross paths with Druig once again after living a couple dozen lives apart. And that time seemed to be closing in as your fellow Eternals knocked upon your door.

“Y/N, it’s been a while.” Sersi kindly greeted you, watching your roller coaster of expressions ride from surprise to guilt to anger to acceptance of your duty. “I take it you heard the news.”

“We killed them. All of them. Phastos said it himself. Deviants? Gone.” You opened your apartment door wider and let her, Sprite, and Ikaris inside your quaint little abode.

“You’ve been on your own for like, half a millennium and this is all you have?” Sprite judged with her arms crossed and began fidgeting with your few belongings, including a book on the Amazon Rainforest. “Ooh, look what they’re reading.”

“Put it down, Sprite.” You rolled your eyes and sunk into your couch. “You have a lot of explaining to do, Sersi. I don’t like the vibe I’m getting from all of this.”

“‘Vibe?’” Scoffed Sprite, throwing the book down. “What are you, a ‘millennial?’” You glared at her, but had to laugh considering the irony of being an immortal being who had lived through thousands of years.

“And what are you? Twelve?” You shot back before Sersi began explaining to you all that she knew so far. Which was not much to go off of, but you were enticed with the idea of gathering the Eternals once more, whether the reasons were obvious or not. You itched to get through the journey, which came with relentless teasing from your team as they watched you grow more impatient by the hour. Not only had you discovered the world may be ending and your time was officially fleeting, but you grew worried that maybe Druig had changed his mind about you over the half a century you’d been away. It seemed like you might have even abandoned him.

“I hope you’re excited for our next stop, y/n.” Kingo snapped you out of your thoughts as he noticed your leg bouncing. “Hope you find happiness instead of hurt. I do mean that.” He pat your knee and moved along as you released the tension in your jaw, prepared for anything that the universe might have in store for you.

“We know how much he loved you, y/n. I doubt that would change with time.” Thena assured and you nodded, staring out the window. “Druig will be happy to see you, you’re selling yourself short.”

But when your feet touched the ground of his turf, uncertainty flooded your mind once more. Were you trespassing? Were you even welcome here? Are you going to be able to put one foot in front of the other? Thena grabbed your hand and tugged you along in solidarity, and you grasped it tightly until the moment you laid eyes on him again. She backed away as he moved toward you, looking you up and down and lowly speaking, “Y/N.” With a simple nod of a greeting before he walked by. You cautiously looked back at him and spoke.

“Druig.” The Eternals, your family, stared at the exchange in confusion before getting down to business. You even looked to Gilgamesh to see what his reaction would be. A shrug. A very confused shrug.

You stayed quiet during the meeting, sharing quick glances to the man you always considered your lover. Maybe every once in a while he shot you a weak smirk, but the intentions behind it were still unknown. No one dared address the elephant in the room, not even Sprite, for that matter. And Druig was just about to ask for a moment alone with his lover, too, but disaster struck at the worst time and he looked right to you, almost in fear as you heard the monsters invade.

“Go! Run!” You shouted to the people of the Amazon compound as the beasts engaged, using your powers to fend them off as best as you could. You didn’t even notice the other Deviant pursuing until Druig had tackled you into the dirt to block the bite of said creature just before Ikarus knocked it far away.

“Are you okay?” Druig asked you as he stood over you and hoisted you up, then wiped the deep brown mud from your cheek.

“I’m okay, yeah. Are you?” You asked him just before pushing him aside and lifting your hand to combat the next Deviant that dared to cross you. He didn’t even have the chance to speak before yet another has flown by and picked you up and away.

“Y/N!” Druig panicked and watched you get carried away, soon dropped from the sky. It was too bad you’d gotten split up because this time around because the only thing that could really kill an Eternal was a Deviant, something none of you ever had to worry about for these many years until now.

Battle ensued as the team gave it their all, but the aftermath of the battle left many shook, especially once everyone left alive had regrouped besides you.

“Has anyone seen y/n?” Druig asked with a calm demeanor, but he was dying on the inside. Had you met your end by the claws of these Deviants? Because if so, Druig would no longer be able to live with himself. Silence fell over the group, a moment for Gilgamesh and a moment for you, just before you had crawled your way through the brush looking a bit worse for wear. “Y/N…” He ran over to you and offered his assistance lifting you up once more and helping you to the group with your arm wrapped around his shoulder.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” You jokingly sighed and looked down at the fallen friend in Thena’s arms, ready to drop back down before Druig pulled you into his chest as if he were protecting you from the pain this world had brought you. But that was the most you had gotten from him while there. Still shutting you out, it seemed.

The mission was still in progress, bringing you halfway across the world, then across it once again to reach your ship, the Domo. It was quite the spectacle in the modern day, but it could definitely use some touching up. It was within this ship that you first met Druig, and some may argue that your love was at first sight, catching each other from across the room once eyes fluttered open seven thousand years ago.

“Hey.” Druig grabbed your arm as your paces fell short of the rest of the Eternals. “Come here with me.” You were led through the ship that you knew like the back of your hand, somewhere secluded where Druig could let his guard down, and that he did. “It’s wonderful to see you again, lover.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and your brows furrowed at his change in demeanor.

“Where was this at your compound?” You asked him with a tilt of your head and he let you go, backing up and nodding at his previous actions.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was no longer interested in you.” He admitted, stuffing his hands into his leather pockets. “I haven’t seen you or them in centuries, and the bombshells they dropped on me didn’t help those feelings settle at all.” He explained and turned back to you with a genuine smile. “But how I missed you, your face, your laugh, your everything. It’s unfortunate that I’ve went so long without getting to see your beauty.” You rolled your eyes playfully and turned away from him. “Oh, don’t be like that.” Your lover reached an arm around your body and grasped at one of your hands, spinning you slowly back his way.

The two of you had longed for each other long enough. It was about time that a new tender moment finally be added to your history. Your foreheads touched like they did the last time you met, your hands reached for his face and your thumbs ran across the dimples in his cheeks. His hands rested on your face as well, fingers tangled in your hair just slightly.

“I’ve longed for you…mind, body, and soul, my love.” He whispered to you and you chuckled.

“Considering our creation, are you sure we even have souls?” You questioned and he shook his head gently against your forehead.

“Doesn’t change the fact that I think we might just be soulmates.” Druig lifted your chin to kiss you, meeting his lips with yours after so long apart. You’d never dreamed of a more perfect union or reunion. The soft touches, the slow movement, the feeling of being alone together, you were determined to save this world so that you might be able to live another life with him this time. “Did you follow through on your promise?” He asked once he disconnected from you and poked at your shoulder.

“You tell me.” You stuck your thumb under the collar of your shirt and lifted up a new chain with an old pendant attached, something Druig had made for you so many years ago. His initial was carved into the back, definitely a bit faded. “Did you?” Druig scoffed at your question and held the piece in his hand.

“Well, that’s a nice piece of history right there. I applaud the artist.” He joked and rustled around his pockets a moment before pulling out a chunk of crystal you carved around the same point in history.

“I’ve never stopped loving you.” You assured him and he smugly nodded along. “You know it’s true.”

“Oh, I know. And I’m the same way, I swear.” He reached for your hair just to mess it up. “And that’s why we’re going to walk into that room, make a plan, and I’m going to save this planet. So I can continue to live beside you. Hopefully this time, it’s permanent.”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @brutal-out-here // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @resplendentlady // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @dindjarinsspouse // @werewolf-himbo // @lost-fantasy // @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom // @summersimmerus // @cipheress-to-k-pop // @augustvandyne // @buckyeojin // @the-did-i-ask // @glxwingrxse // @scarthefangirl //

[geodetojoy]

aaaaand intermission!!!!

alright @royallygray heres my first act review :D

i mean ive obviously already said a lot of my thoughts above *looks at the 40+ note count* hahaaa

no but i love it so far

like i said ive seen it before but because my mom loved it so much i kinda just refused to like it bc of that but BOY was i missing out

ok characters first (im not gonna do all of them, just some of the main ones):

JACK my boy i will always stand behind you. he cares so much about his family (the newsies are a family to me idc) and his future and everything he does revolves around them and hes such a strong leader he fights so hard for what he believes in AND HES ONLY 17???? give my boy a BREAK GEEZ

no i love him so much he absolutely deserves to find some respite in his life hes too good for this world <3333

CRUTCHIEEEEE he might be my fav. between him, Les, and Katherine i think

absolute sunshine character i knew as soon as i heard him talk that he would NOT come out unscathed

i think my favorite thing is that, yeah, the newsies technically treat him differently bc of his leg, but they dont see him as less in any way. its just something about him that makes him unique and hey if they can use it to make more money, then it almost makes it worth it /hj

dont get me wrong im not a fan of them calling him *that word* but i think its absolutely meant in a loving way and he doesnt seem bothered by it at all unless its someone else saying it to him to be offensive

anyway he deserves the world he better make it out alive ill kill someone if he doesnt /j

lesssss the boyyyy

first of all hes absolutely adorable and hes such a smartass /pos he knows EXACTLY what hes doing 100% of the time

hes such a strong kid even though he actually has parents and people to take care of him and he likely wasnt forced to be so protective and cunning due to his situation but the fact that he still is makes me love him more. but i think his age here plays a big part bc yeah hes ignorant to a lot of stuff but hes young enough to be willing to understand and support people who arent entirely like him (thinking about how kids arent born into hatred and they only learn it if theyre surrounded by it for years upon years - like how so many young kids of bigoted parents are actually really accepting bc they havent had the years of indoctrination yet)

not to say i think his parents are bad people - i mean davey turned out great! i actually like to think that his parents are really kind! they might not fully understand the situations of people like the newsies, hence les's initial ignorance, but i dont think theyre very hateful people they just might be more focused on living their own lives and dont think about much else

Next up of course is davey!! like i said i was skeptical of him at first just bc he seemed really closed off and didnt want anything to do with jack and all of them and i was afraid that was out of hatred, but now i really love him

the entirety of the plot would go to absolute shit if it werent for his knowledge and experience that he gained from his parents, and i really appreciate the growth of everyone, both the newsies and him, to accept one another despite the jealousy of the newsies and the fear and lack of understanding from davey

i dont think hes a favorite of mine, but i do really love him!!

KATHERINE my queen she is so me actually. Writers block is a killer girl i so get you

lmaooo no i think shes SUCH a complex character and i cant wait to get to know her more in the second act

we love a strong, independent women who follows her own dreams and aspirations despite the struggles. shes stepping up from the smaller sections of the newspaper (my brain is coming up with a blank what the fuck are they called) to whole articles because she believes in herself!!! she wants to make a name for herself by doing something big bc she knows she can!!! absolute queen i adore her

and yeah royal like you said her and jack's relationship as of now is a bit uncomfy but im not gonna make any full judgement calls until later bc theyve only interacted a few times lmao but i do think he actually cares about her and isnt just thinking with his dick

(btw what i meant about the "girls are nice" line is that it makes it seem like hes not actually attracted to women lmaoo i know what he meant but it sounds silly ooc)

AND THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN PEOPLE GAHHH

like i said the newsies are a family to me. all brothers. they love each other so much because theyre all they have. theyd trade the world for each other. i love them

ive already talked about the newsies and les and davey with the two having parents but its just so lovely. theyre such good people. they might not fully understand their situation, but they care so much anyway

LES AND JACK AAAAAAA omg the sillies ever actually. the two smartasses. i adore them <33

What i love most about this show is just how many historical social issues its able to address. Fucked up corporations that led to the invention of unions, sexism in careers, the conditions of the working class, child labor in general, all of it. its SO important to talk about and i think this musical does an incredible job at addressing it and making it known just how bad these things are so to not let them happen ever again

just like. fuck capitalism bro.

and dude the stage design and choreo are absolutely STUNNING.

i really wanted (and still kinda to tbh) to go into technical theater because i lovelovelove the behind the scenes stuff when it comes to musicals and such and this is NOT helping /pos

anyway ive been rambling long enough onto act 2 :DDDDD

Alright

@royallygray im starting newsies now hehehe

i figured id just make a thread for my thoughts if you (or anyone) wanted to read thru

[roseworth]

Hello, im new to dc and i was reading some Robin backstory but there's something i want to ask if you don't mind. I don't understand why Jason and Damian are hated as Robin? From what i read people can't accept Jason as Robin due to him being different than Dick but what's wrong with Damian? I see Tim being accepted despite fans anger over Jason before and he's the second most popular Robin next to Dick. I thought they'll do the same with Damian but it seems not? I understand that it's probably due to racism but is there other reason for that?

ok so. theres honestly not a simple answer to this but here we go

the thing about comics is that in the 90s there was a whole push for people wanting comics to be a little more mature and not just for kids so that adults could still read and enjoy them. and so all these kids/teenagers in the 90s were able to continue reading their favs as they grew up which is nice BUT it meant that they got very attached to tim as robin since he was robin for like. their whole childhood

so tim had a solo with 100+ issues and people loved it. and he was in things like young justice and teen titans that people also liked. and ofc he showed up in a lot of the iconic batman stories in the 90s. so then once damian comes along and is robin instead people in 2006 get upset because tim was their robin for years and they loved tim and now from their perspective tim is "forced" out of a robin role to make way for damian, leading them to hate damian (which is kind of the same thing that happened to jason, since dick had been the only robin so people loved dick for 50+ years then jason comes along and people are mad that hes not dick)

and damian was written like a moody 10 year old, and people hate when kids show emotions, so it led to people not liking damian since he was more emotional than tim and isnt a cut and clean robin

anyways damian also had some of the issues that people had to a lesser degree with jason, because damian way murderous when he first appeared. and jason (thanks to starlin) was okay with people dying. so basically they were a lil too okay with murder, again making them not a cut and clean robin and led to people not liking them

and THEN of course. we get into the racism. everyone always talks about how tim is the "relatable robin" because hes an upper-middle class white man which. um. sure. idc i wont get into that. but damian despite being drawn very white was not. not to mention the mischaracterization of talia leading to people being like "ooo damian is evil and terrible!" and people wanting their straight (lol) white boy robin back.

but thats a lot of what happened in the mid 2000s to make people not like him SO why dont people like him today!! (spoiler: the reasons are terrible)

basically a lot of people that havent actually read the comics today will love tim a lot and see that damian was mean to tim (tried to kill him. lol!) and say "grrr damian tried to hurt my sweet little tim 😡" without actually knowing or caring about damian.

then theres also the shit that still happens in the comics with damian in canon constantly being pit against batman and still wanting to kill ? like in teen titans 2016 he ran a private prison or something. idk i havent even read it because the idea sounds so stupid and i cant stand it. then in robin 2021 he was still willing to kill and all and was like "omg i dont have to hold back anymore 😍" because dc uses the same character arcs over and over and over and will never let damian get past wanting to kill 15 years ago

and of course. still the racism of people wanting damian to be a stereotype then getting mad at the stereotype that THEY shoved him into. and the same stuff from before

also a writer made damian say some homophobic stuff in like 2009 so to this day people are still like "wow.... hes homophobic.... hes going to kill jon for being bi...." despite damian not even being a little homophobic recently (except for what devin grayson did but shes going to hell for that anyways)

in summary. people all have their little beefs with damian for various reasons. its all petty shit and some racist shit and him not being the Golden Robin so people dont like him

[spotsupstuff]

So...why the name "Gao Clementine"?

TLDR; "Bai He" pisses me off to no end so i and grollow made up a name for the Host for our au by ourselves

Explanation: Bai He is simply not a proper chinese name n while i am aware that its supposed to be only a nickname, it still gets on my nerves cuz ngl at this point it doesnt really feel like a nick anymo. What gets to me the MOST about it though, is that I find it incredibly strange that the Host, after what she went thru, would Actively choose to be called something that even closely resembles the name of the thing that had been possessing her for fuck all long

You see, white bone spirit's proper chinese name is "Baigu Furen". The Bai in Bai He is the same as WBS's. Both mean "white", after all. N You tell me if youd like to be constantly called by something that even closely resembles the name of someone who had been putting you thru shit ton of suffering for like maybe a half a year if not more. If i were in the girl's place i'd actually want to Distance myself from something like that

It just doesnt make logical sense to me!! N i have a whole thing where if smth doesnt make logical sense im prolly gon fuckin despise it

Like yah idc if the rest of the fandom uses it cuz like whatever yall do yall and there is absolutely no hate from me directed to Skelle (the one who brought upon the Bai He era)- i like Skelle quite a bit actually- but as far as my own stuff goes, Bai He isnt accepted in this house for the FT!Host

As for the name chosen- I was scrolling thru some website with chinese surnames n i recognized the 高 [Gāo] character n pointed at it enthusiastically with a stupid smile plastered on my mug. 高 is the first half of the word 高兴 [Gāoxìng] which means happy/glad/willing to do something/in a cheerful mood which i learned on duolingo n i thought "Fuck, wouldnt it be cute if Six Ear got to nickname her Gāoxìng because shed be all smiley n bubbly n her surname already has one of the characters going on? ..yes it would. Canon now."

"Clementine" is a nickname that grollow came up with for her. The idea is that Six Ear didnt want to give the Host his own name (even tho he doesnt exactly have one) the first time they meet in a cell, so the kid retaliated with the same approach to name giving cuz she aint no bitch. Cut post-s3 finale fight, the Host is malnourished, weak and very close to passing out. Six Ear has snatched her up after WBS was taken by Nezha and ran away from the rest of the team into the city to get her to one of the hospitals that would be able to give her the care she needs and stabilize her. As hes running with her, hes talking to her to keep her from falling asleep because he isnt so entirely sure what would happen if a kid like her would conk out after all of this, so he doesnt wanna risk it

At some point i think He starts talking about his siblings (SWK n Ma) and how all three of them have fruit-based nicknames (plum, peach, cherry) and the Host, a bit delirious, says that she wants a fruit nickname too. So Six starts listing off fruits to humor her and when he gets to clementines, she pipes up n says that those are her favorites. Without prompting, she starts explaining why clementines are the best fruit ever and this is the most she has talked this entire time so Six encourages it and starts calling her Clementine right then n there

It kinda catches on with everybody else as well as time goes on n so she gets called Clementine more often than by her real name. She doesnt mind at all

[can-i-ship-in-queering-peace]

I neeeeed a edit for this season the first bit is Mikes internalized feels for Will then maybe both being like ugh, idk what to say tho.. for the bit about the book is gonna tell me what to say I don’t know how to talk when you’re looking that way) thats for the airport acne or any of their talk scenes would work. Then Will (confessing(if the edit is made after pt2) or just the parts of him tryin to talk with Mike-then flashes between him comforting him now along with the “crazy together” for the part, “you said that I was brave”) then back to Mike during the scene where he says Hawkins isn’t the same with out him for the “Im tired of running away, but I turned this town upside down, and I never found another like you). The last bit I felt could work for showing the turbulence portion of them becoming self aware of their feelings on the relationship like the blow out fight etc. Also could be Mike and Eleven paralleling Mikes parents unhappy heteronormative forced ass relationship as a sort of closer bit. Like that was all because they were afraid to accept themselves.

Like… YALL, it’s too prefect PLS!!!! I swear I’ll do witch craft for you or something!!!!!! Hail Satan idc I’ll do anythiiing!!!!

I even labeled the lyrics with the edit concept a tad but dm me if your willing to make any edits and I will explain in full my idea and am obvi open to just vibing on it. But this song is too perfect for all the feels!!!!

[kth1]

why do you like taegi the most?

i’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for a hot minute because i wanted to be able to respond when i had the time to lay out a novel. maybe... i don’t know how long this will be but here we go bubs. thank you for asking in advance! 

for starters... kim taehyung. 

my ultimate. the man that choses me no matter what i did. i admire him, aspire to be more like him, and adore him to all extremes. from his younger years and to present years, this guy really sticks out with personality for me. (yes he’s attractive but like, it’s really the personality that makes me coo).  i could actually feel a vibe/energy toward taehyung in which in some sort of mystical au where i could meet him, i feel like i’d connect with him very well (you can disagree, idc). this is just my perception. yes, he’s a lump of an enigma and that’s exactly what i like about him. you never fully know what you’re getting with tae besides the fact that you know you don’t know what you’re going to get! the element of him being spontaneous and can reach all ends of the spectrum from animation really appeals to me. deep down, i feel like he is a very sensitive soul, things bother him quiet often but he masks. and with that mask he makes a great conversationalist because i believe he knows how to be appropriate with pushing back biased thoughts to be able to hear out others - however i feel like he runs into people who don’t understand or are willing to hear him out in return. sure he has trouble expressing things from time to time, but i think it’s because of the emotions and thoughts that course through him are nondefinitive. you have to know and learn tae to get and understand tae. (not disregarding any of the others when i speak this, btw) he is honestly, truly amazing in my eyes and that’s probably one of the main reasons why i feel toward him the most. he can be soft, cuddly, and kind. he as an earth sign supports the stereotypes of down to earth, wise, and also ambitious. also, tae can pull out some ruthless, playful, tactics out of left field because that’s just how he is - and we love all sides of him (or what he wants to show us). his constant creativeness is enjoyable, how many times does tae want to go against the standard? nearly all the time! and he pulls it off! because i feel like tae doesn’t fully care to be the same, he wants to be himself. and that’s so utterly sexy of him you have no idea. (again, you can disagree with me) but sometimes i personally feel like i can be very similar to tae in many ways, with thoughts, feelings, and creative drives. i feel we both attempt to put on our fronts, try to remain humble and respectful. understand we are just humans and we are the same. and also can be quick to call out the suspicious acts so bluntly because our bullshit meter is always running. not to mention, both he and i enjoying being dramatically extra for no apparent reason sometimes. this is how i conclude the fermented idea in my mind that maybe, just maybe, i would make a great friend with tae if i ever had a chance. 

mr. min yoongi.

this many radiates comfort and i feel like he’s super trustworthy. yoongi is the type of person i feel like i could spill all my beans in front of, not matter how heated, sad, or excited i may be, and he’d openly accept it all. his level of patience is something i strive to have. the way he’s so witty and sharp tongued, smart, and ready to stir the pot from time to time to challenge against you is something i find remarkable and again - enjoyable. in the nicest of ways, yoongi can easily tell you how it is... and if you push the wrong buttons he can probably easily tell you how it be with more tone and harsher words. however, yoongi is straight-forward majority of the time, something i am like as well. he is a pisces with virgo moon so i feel real bad with the inner battles his brain probably constantly undergoes, all those hidden thoughts he doesn’t want to reveal to most. i feel that yoongi has such a massive intuition, a general 6th sense about him. in many occasions, i also see myself with similar personality as yoongi. those ‘tsundere’ vibes, introverted, keeps to ourselves, and randomly once we’re comfortable we ‘act out’ and surprise everyone, but they think it’s funny/cute, etc. yoongi (here i go with my delulu au’s where maggie is y/n) would be the type of person i look up to and always want to talk to - to tell him about what’s bothering me. even if i feel like im boring or annoying, i feel like i’d be able to open up to him fast because i just have that confidence and belief to him. in most cases, he acts in a calmly manner. whereas, once i loose my cool i come out very heated an aggressive because i cannot hold back as much as he can - another thing i wish i was more like. the natural, effortless and relaxed aspect of yoongi, is also very very attractive (all yoongi bias’ are going to agree to this one) but there is no lie when i speak this. he doesn’t showboat, he doesn’t parade around saying he’s the best and have a large ass ego. he is just yoongi who is doin’ himself. we like this shit. you do you booboo! 

taegi as a whole:

yes, completely super in love with the friendship of taegi. yes, mainly because these two take all my food from my table and bid me goodnight. however, i love all the friendships between members!!! but because im a taegi fanatic because of the likeness i have to bother individuals, i will comment on their bond bc i love it. golly, where do i start? hm, for beginners... let’s just remember how taegi would typically have the most conflicting ideas, resulting in the most funny scenarios whenever they sometimes were paired up in games or something. (like holding hands because they disagree??? cute) how yoongi - to this day - tends to have a hard time changing tae’s mind / saying no to tae because tae is a wee bit stubborn and want to do / try things out. when tae always wants to be yoongi’s hype man, enjoy yoongi’s rap, verses, highest key is trying to take over all of yoongi’s parts in each rapping song because skrrt skrrt! together, taegi is very touching to me. tae admires and looks up to yoongi in so many ways, and yoongi shows such a concern in undertones towards tae is endearing. like, you can’t tell me this friendship ain’t cute. i would politely throat chop you and call you a fool. yes i’m hella biased, i know this, however i don’t care what you say against me because it is what i like to see and crave a bond like these two beans! taegi; two fun-filled people who are honest, deep, and most importantly... they are true. (not saying anyone is ‘fake’, please shake that thought from your head!!!) im saying like, true in the sense of real people. an archaic expression of being true to oneself, yourself, others, etc. they are true to most of everything (in my mind). both of these two are very commendable and you can learn a lot through them! 

this concludes my maggie rants for now. please come by another time after i recharge! i know i haven’t touched every single thing about each category, i know i have more to say but just don’t know how to say it or can’t bring all the thoughts to the table for now. thank you to the anon who prompted this question. and also thanks to whoever ends up reading this response! again, i love all the members in their own special ways! i don’t intend to disregard others but this ask caters to my personal loves. <3

[figula]

feeling a bit frustrated tonight bc i joined the server of a popular lesbian youtuber in her 30s who has a wife and baby, and idk, i kind of expected the server to be a kind of ... normal ?? place ?? i guess?? (normal such a terrible way to phrase it, but it’s 4am and idc that much lol)

but it’s ofc full of teens who are somehow ALL multiple systems, ALL autistic, ALL have adhd, ALL traumatised, and im just like god!! i cannot be fucked w/ this!

i keep seeking out fun discord servers (often w/ a mind to mental health / that kind of thing) and i always find them absolutely unbearable. i think it’s partly that im no longer willing to foster relationships almost entirely based on shared suffering. i’ve done that before, and now i do not CARE lol. like i want relationships based on common interests, values, HUMOUR! i dont want this endless parade of misery!!!

i think i should stop looking for friendships in mental health groups really bc i never find what im looking for - i honestly think i’ve outgrown them for many reasons - partly bc im fairly stable atm anyway and partly bc they all seem to be so diagnosis focussed and i have been moving away from that for years and the idea of being around it anymore is just like boooooooooooooo lol byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

but im still a bit lonely and i do want to make friendships, even online, and im not sure where to actually look for them?? the other major issue wrt making friends irl is that my self-esteem re: my appearance is so low that i literally dont want to be looked at so like i dont think my loneliness will recede until im willing to be looked at. and fuck knows when that will be bc it’s been years! there are so many people i could honestly see NOW and immediately fix that loneliness but i just cannot let myself be looked at! i want to lose weight until i feel ok to be looked at but obviously this is crazy + totally irrational! but i cannot seem to accept my body right now, and it’s just terrible and miserable tbh. lol @ this paragraph following me being like but im so stable tho :) but i mean - i am STABLE, bc it’s been this way for years lol!