#ICANT DO THIIS

[monards]

the best pride month post dare I say

[arsenic-clownip]

mootie how did you know you were a system DX

-🎠

hi mootie !! well iit was quite weird actually, icant remember exactly, and doont usually understannd explaining my disabilities, but ican try !!

ido rememver iwas researchhijg DID a while ago, arounnd the period one oof my friennds told me had DID, so ithtink iwas looking into it too.

growing up however, have always heard voices speaking to me (different to audible halluuicnayion), actually knew theywere there and used to talk to them too !! (especially since had very few friennds who liked me annd want talk to me, iwas pretty much always alone and brain made me cope by talkinh to people in my head)

i also remember making an oc at like 9 or 10 annd then saying ghat it was "apart" of me (different from fictionkin, didnt identify as themm, just knew theywere another part of me, was alter annd i just didnt know itt yet) ihad 2 ocs thatt made that were myy "different selves" annd "apart of me" and had "different jobs" and. "different personalities" (brains method oof. Coping and didnt jnow yet* 😭😭‼️)

but due to gaps in my memory, icouldbe had more experiences that dont remember (probably did, but im not suure, this is all can really remember)

(*no, thiis isnt "making an alter" so dont dogpile me sysblr, i creatted ocs when iwas youngger to express myself, but my brain thought otherwise iguess 🤷🤷)

ithoughtt this was normal for a loong time thiuhh, and later on (ithink like last year ? or maybe thhe year before ? sometime around then) iwas goiing through a periodv of a lot of streess (isolated, only had 1 actual friend, schoolwoork stressing me aout, ect, iwas just always stressed and angry) and my brain split more alters because during this time period there were a coupple of instances where "another self" (a nepetaa fictivve) woulld text/interact with my friend and lived my life for me (if that makes sense)

also ive had a loot of instances in which alters would soeak to friennds, and i just didnt know it because ididnt think anything was happening. wont Go into detail abouut every single experience/interactions my system members have gone thriuhh though

ive alsoo had instances where ilook back on messagges and go "thats not me ?? who said that ??" or "who did that ??" or my friennds would tell me iwas "actung different" or iwas "like a whole nother personn" or whatnot, ive also had instances where iwoulld forget information ive known for YEARS or gain knowledge from just NOWHERE on something idid not know how to do it and just bbe able to do it. also just acknowledging ido not remember pretty much anything from my childhood, iwas recenttly faced with discoveringg alot of trauma from my childhood out of nowehere recently when idid not even know it happened before, so that was scary, but idont even remember everything that has happened to me because my memory. ihave had a lot of experiences with discovering, its been really weird. but ihope this explanation helped you !!

[gayestman]

tHE EAGLE IMPROV JUST CAME ON AND ICANT DO THIIS