#I've still got two more tiffany books

[npdclaraoswald]

I really, really love the way being a witch works in the Tiffany Aching books, how much of it is just taking care of your community and being a caring and thoughtful person. I know these were published later, but I hope it carries over to the adult witch novels when I get to them

[macchiatosdumptruck]

Someone asked for bl recs and since I'm still new in the fandom I decided to just give a short breakdown of the ones I have watched. Including horniness level. Red flag level. Where to watch. Etc.

Love In The Air

Horny level: 5/5

on iqiyi (subscription)

Two young college students get involved with two older men who illegally race motorcycles.

Plot and acting could be better but it's charming and the lead couples work really well together. Notable for very horny sex scenes. (There's never talk of lube though, but that's every show I've seen so far)

Significant number of red flags that somehow turn green, if you're into that.

Red flag rating starts at like 4.5/5 and then drops exponentially and somehow gets genuinely cute and supportive?? By the special episode those red flags are whipped lol.

Each couple gets about half the season dedicated to themselves.

This gif made me watch it.

Kinneporsche on iqiyi

Horny level: 4/5

Look it's just good. it was popular for a reason. Excellent chemistry, fun and engaging plot. Great action scenes. The theme song slaps.

Product placements are more noticeable than others.

The new head of a crime family low key kidnaps a man to be his bodyguard. Fun tropes ensue. These two are so horny for each other. It's also genuinely funny.

One side couple is very cute and sweet (mostly) and the other is red flag central, not safe, sane, or consensual.

There are a lot of interesting and well done family dynamics going on in this, which is what actually taught my attention.)

Cutie pie series

Rated, like, R probably

Horny level: 4 out of 5 ??

One of the classics, I guess it helped the genre blow up at the beginning of COVID and had a Moment.

Free on YouTube, or the uncut extra steamy version is on iqiyi. (The "censored" YouTube version is still pretty steamy though, ngl.)

Arranged marriage tropes galore. Broken engagements. Not-so-secret identifies. Miscommunication. Age gaps and height differences. Truly a gay regency romance told in the modern times.

People either seem to really like this or hate it. (The people who dislike it usually say they don't like the power dynamics at play.)

I didn't dislike or especially like it the first time I watched it but the second time it was really fun. It's kitsch. You've gotta embrace the kitsch and you'll be fine. A good casual watch.

Flags aren't exactly green but could definitely be more red.

Pretty decent acting, which gets better over time.

Known for some of the best kissing scenes in the genre tbh. Tongues everywhere. So much tongue. Very soft. Mouths on titties. Gotta respect the dedication.

(It has a sequel series called naughty babe that is equally silly that I enjoyed more because somehow the leads have a chokehold on me. They're the second couple in this. )

Seems like there are continuity errors but the books are just Like That I guess.

Love by chance

Free on viki rakkuten

Horny level 2/5 (pg-13, fade to black love scenes)

Formulaic but cute. Popular kid falls for lower class schoolmate. Rich assholes. Wholesome family moments. Really annoying side characters (one in particular )but the main couple is very sweet for the most part.

Good acting.

Red flag rating 1/5. (For normal teenaged possessiveness of the main couple.) The others? Who the hell knows.

I actually got really invested in the main couple and then they got nerfed in the second series and I rage quit. Continuity errors galore. I was rooting for you Tiffany.

(there's a surprise brother/brother ship plot that doesn't really go anywhere)

Two worlds

Horny level 3.5

Iqiyi

Starring the side couple from cutie pie. (Still in the chokehold) fun alternate reality plot that is actually pretty well done. The fantasy element could be stronger but the relationships are all interesting. Some really beautiful visuals. Naked painting sessions ala Titanic.

After Khram's beloved Phupha is murdered, something happens and Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, three years prior, Khram and Thai had been in love. However, that Khram was killed by Thai's dad. One day, Thai drives by a road and finds someone in the middle of the road. The face of that person stuns Thai because he looks exactly the same as his lover from three years ago. What will happen next?

Cave sex. That's what happens.

Some crazy shit happens in this one. It's a little hard to explain. Editing could be clearer. Acting is pretty good, and noticeably improving. The side couple is childhood friends to enemies to lovers which is fun.

I'm half convinced this was made because fans saw the nipple action in cutie pie, so they said"you want nipple action? We'll give you nipple action." And they went for it. But seriously, their scenes are very well choreographed and very sweet. (And really long.)

Pretty red flag free. Other than some light kidnapping. (Gotta have a meet-cute somehow)

I have to watch this one again tbh. (I have a bias with this one for some reason)

The sign

Free on YouTube.

Horny level 3.5/5 (I have a feeling others may rank it higher)

Psychic powers. Past lives. Snake men. Bird men. Soulmates. Gender fuckery. Crime mysteries. If those things interest you, you'll like it. Very good acting. Likable cast of characters. (Side characters you actually care about.) funny and goofy at times. Great action scenes. I was pleasantly surprised, and this is another one I think I may rewatch. I hope these two do more work together.

Red flag free except for That One Obviously Evil Handsome Doctor Guy

Only friends

Free on YouTube

Horny level: 4/5 a love scene in every episode so far.

A queer friend group in their 20's what could go wrong? Friends with benefits. Pining. Fucking by proxy. Past illicit relationships. Everyone wants someone other than who they have. Dysfunctional alcoholics and manipulative assholes. Various confusing love shapes. I've only watched a few episodes but already those two have got me fucked up.

Many flags of many colors

Love sea

Iqiyi

Horny rating: 5/5. (So horny )

A lonely, closed off romance author is sent to a beautiful island to work on his book. There he meets an annoying yet charming local who has been hired to keep him company. His back gets blown out. What will happen next? I expect they'll fall for each other and it'll be really cute but first it's gotta get messy.

Staring the second couple from Love In The Air

They are the epitome of black cat/golden retriever energy and it works for them. Great chemistry. Their acting is getting better. The script is better than LITA I feel like. The first episode is kinda awkward. The second episode is pure spice. The third is oddly sweet. It's still airing so idk.

There's a lesbian side couple that's heading towards the fake dating trope with added power dynamic fuckery so that's fun.

Red flag level: well, at this point I think it still technically counts as prostitution so ...

Aaaand I've got whole lists of stuff saved ranking from "I'm gonna cry" to "I'm horny" to "I'm horny and I'm gonna cry" which I may do later as I get through them ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

... I am now realizing that these are mostly MAME works, who I guess is known for being problematic but idk, I'm having a great time.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of April 2024

[last month]

Last month, I was just sooo excited about so much music (see: the giant five-star songs list)--I must have used up a whole lot of my enjoying-music energy, since this month I withdrew a bit & got super picky. (Which, for some reason, meant only enjoying three artists--Repion, Majiko, and Mon Laferte--for a solid week. No, I have no idea why my brain chose those three in particular!) So, I'm not feeling as sparkly as I did when I wrote last month's post, but there was still some awesome stuff this month (which is why I'm doing a top 20 instead of my usual 15!!).

Most of my favorite releases this month ended up being not-kpop, but my top 3 kpop releases of the month would be: "Undefeated" by XG (*insert obligatory acknowledgement of the "is XG kpop?" debate here*), "I'll See You There Tomorrow" by TXT, and "Candy Crush" by ARTMS!

1 . El Imán - Remix -- Delfina Campos, Santiago Martínez

If you, like me, still aren't over Tiffany's "I Just Wanna Dance", allow me to introduce you to...

2. La venganza de los Sith -- Comic Sans

By FAR my favorite release this month. This has the same indie-boy euphoria as "joyrider" by second thoughts, which is an instant win in my book!

3. Abittipsy -- Youha

I think I'm a normal amount of angsty for a college student! "Abittipsy" signifies an about-average amount of angst... right?

4. It Was Coming All Along -- Maggie Rogers

I don't really understand these lyrics, but they've been haunting me anyway. I guess I never get tired of this kind of apocalypse song--the ones that aren't even all that angry or scared anymore, they just sound completely exhausted. For me, they're always the most powerful.

5. Solo en Vos -- Luciana Tagliapietra

Loving the trend of synthy music that sounds straight out of a video game! And this synth is especially well-produced--the texture is IMPECCABLE.

6. Death To My Hometown -- Bruce Springsteen

Down two spots from last month, but still awesome!

7. Luz -- Ine Güemes

Another repeat offender! (I told you, this month wasn't all that exciting.) It's moved up a spot from last month, though. This album has a stranglehold on my soul btw.

8. Hemofilia - Remix -- Delfina Campos, Ferla

Re: Tiffany's "I Just Wanna Dance" !!

9. El día no me da -- Repion

Just an average Repion song--which, of course, means it's fantastic and has been my go-to song every single day for the last month.

10. Altas Nubes -- Adrià Salas, Repion

It's sooooo DND coded.

11. Spotlight -- Creepy Nuts

I love Creepy Nuts so much, and this one encapsulates everything that got them on my stan list in the first place--the incessant energy, the creative instrumentals, the rock influences !!!

12. Undefeated -- XG, Valorant

Yessssss sound design for the win!! There's never a dull moment in this song--XG really are bringing the thrill back to girl crush, and I couldn't be happier!

13. Nightshift -- Bruce Springsteen

This month's sulking song, I dare say? I'm SOOOO lucky I got to hear it live in March, and I've been addicted since. And it makes me SO SAD OH MY GOD--

14. Stayaway - Now, Now Remix -- MUNA

I still love the original, but this one had me at house keys!

15. Martes -- Repion

I'm getting sooo tired of complimenting Repion (look, I've been doing it nonstop since the release of their album last February). So I'll just say: harmonies good yes.

16. The Kill -- Maggie Rogers

Watching the live performance on YouTube broke me a little. This isn't the most exciting song, but Maggie Rogers makes it SO emotional in the most wonderfully subtle ways--a little sentimental, a little resigned. As Phoebe Bridgers once said, "I feel something."

17. Dice -- Onew

The album is better, but this is really cute! I must have left it on repeat while doing homework or something this month.

18. Alley Rose -- Conan Gray

This goes out everyone who cried to "Wish You Were Sober" in 2020 !!!

19. Found Heaven -- Conan Gray

I like the lyrics way more than I like the actual song, but I like the lyrics a LOT. "There's a God / in the sky / don't believe him." GODDAMN.

20. .tumblr -- Saramalacara

I want big clumsy melody-heavy EDM back!!!! Make dark-concept kpop like this again pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

Alley Rose -- Conan Gray (Now THIS is how you make retro exciting again. "Alley Rose" has disco and psychedelic rock built into the bones of its Elton John tribute, and the layers and layers of influences are just so endlessly fascinating to me!)

Amárrame -- Mon Laferte, Juanes (I ran across this during that weird week where I could only enjoy like 3 artists, and I'm so glad I did! I already expect Mon Laferte choruses to be wonderful, but this one still managed to take my breath away. Love at first listen, the vocal layering and the drums and the VOCAL LAYERING GUYS GUYS LISTEN TO THAT CHORUS. To my 10th grade Spanish teacher--I like a Juanes song now! Sorry it took me so long lol)

World -- MUCC (I've liked this since it came out, but it just hit differently this month. I don't know, maybe I'm just more obsessed with multilayered vocals than usual this month--which would explain the Repion obsession, actually...)

Como Bailan los Demás (Lado B) -- Delfina Campos (I think I'll always be that guy who wants my albums aesthetic, and this selection of hazy, muted club tracks is exactly what I'm looking for in an album worth leaving on repeat. It all flows together so effortlessly, and Delfina Campos really got my attention with these performances--so delicate, and so captivating. I'll have to go back and check out their other stuff!)

[romanreadsbooks]

Favorite (and least favorite) Books of 2024

Stand-alones:

#1 - Monday's Not Coming by Tiffany D Jackson (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

YA Mystery -  An absolute heartbreaking and tragic story that I cannot recommend enough (check trigger warnings though). A harrowing look at how life and society treats those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds - especially young black girls. Whenever harm comes to them, no one seems to care, and so the abuse continues. 

#2 - Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins(⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

YA Dystopian Fantasy - Prequel to The Hunger Games and I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about this but I think it is a masterpiece of a character study. You take Snow who, at the start, is actually a kind of underdog hero in rich society that you want to root for until you remember what he becomes. Then you wonder -- how the hell does that this boy become that man? And worst of all? You find out. You see every step of his corruption and while you don't agree with him, you understand why he made the choices he did. 

#3 - Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Adult Literary fiction - An examination of the public response and perception of sensationalized serial killers. How society often weirdly idolizes violent men and sees them as some kind of tragic victim or unrealized genius instead of what they are - horrible people who violently slaughter because they just felt like it. I've been largely indifferent to "true crime" sensationalism so far in my life, but this book left me being wary of media perception of (white) violent criminals.

#4 - My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russel (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Adult Literary Fiction - Indepth look at grooming/pedophilia through the eyes of a young teen victim. A horrifying and too real example of how things like this can and do happen. Shows the long lasting effects of groomed and how that can often lead to the victim throwing themselves into more and more toxic situations. 

Annnnd my last one is much less serious/heavy lmao:

#5 - Bride by Ali Hazelwood (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

Adult Supernatural Romance (romantasy? Idk) -  people say it's Omegaverse, but it's not, it's really just Vampires and Werewolves. But! Still very fun and has great, fun dialogue. It's a little unserious, but it knows and plays into it. Very very good pallet cleanser book.

Honorable mention:

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman (⭐⭐⭐⭐.5)

YA Contemporary fiction - I really liked all the characters and the reality that can come with doxxing a faceless creator online. Not five stars just cause it was missing that special spark but very good! (also demi rep in published fiction lets goooo)

Series:

Three Dark Crows Series by Kendare Blake (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

4-book YA Epic fantasy series - Three triplet sisters with different magical powers must fight to the death to become the queen. A little teen angsty at some point but I find teen angst incredibly amusing/entertaining so I had a good time. Is it the best writing? No. Was it very entertaining? Absolutely.

Goldstone Saga by Jocelynn Drake (⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

6-book Adult Epic Fantasy Series - On Kindle unlimited. Very much Marauders fanfic vibes. I loved all the characters a lot. Not one of those where it's like "it's worth it once you get to the third book!", you'll know if you like it by the end of book one. I was rooting for every romance and the plot was fun to follow along with.  Some serious topics weren't handled great imo, but altogether very enjoyable series.

Least Favorites:

Corrupt by Penelope Douglas (⭐⭐) 

Adult Dark(?) Romance - I heard a clip from the audiobook and was like 'Damn that's hot', turns out the clip is from the fourth book in the series ^-^' This book however was awful to read. It got two stars instead of 1 cause it was so absurd at times it made me laugh

Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood (⭐⭐)

Adult Erotic Romance - Some parts felt vaguely aro-phobic, the Rue(FMC) was just meh over all, and Eli(MMC)is just awful. Only good point was that I think it handled reality of food insecurity pretty well, so also 2 stars

The Perfect Marriage by Jeneve Rose (⭐)

I'm sorry, but what was this book?? All of the characters were annoying. The "mystery" was just the MC leaving out crucial details so the reader wouldn't know just for fun. So many plot points were picked up and dropped (I assume they were supposed to be red herrings?).. Overall, it was a very poorly executed mystery.

[zhouxiangs]

can i get 2, 4 and 31 for the wrapped ask game? ❣️

congrats on somehow managing to pick only kpop songs lol (tiffany's technically isn't, i guess? but she's still tiffany)

2. i'm ready

wasn't surprised to get this one at all, it's maybe the only song i've been listening to consistently since it came out (i made a gifset and everything)

4. born again

HOW is this here? i like it but i only listen to this in shuffle, and it's one of those songs that my spotify seems to love and play a lot so i end up skipping it most of the times ????

31. heaven

i need to share the mv too because i love the aesthetics. the physical album is amazing too, it's a 6.5x5cm book (yes it's almost impossible to see the photos, and the photocards are half the size of a normal one. we don't talk about any of that). love how we got this fun song in between two more "serious" concepts, but taeyeon is always a hit with me 💓

[unitedstatesoflyssa]

ALL OF THE BOOKS I'VE LOVED BEFORE

2024 has been a shitty year for me, reading-wise. I started reading for leisure again in 2022, shortly after I graduated from my English department, because I wanted to try to find the childlike joy books had once given me in a time before pandemics and heartbreaks and boy hands. I read 43 books in 2023. I felt like all I could do was read in 2023. Now, in 2024, I went – like – illiterate there for a minute? But either way. Here it is. In all of its golden glory; a master list of the books I've read this year.

A Court of Silver Flames // Sarah J. Maas

7/10

First read of the year, to cap off the ACOTAR series, which I’d started at the insistence of my little sister in May of 2023. I’ve always hated Nesta. As an older sister, I couldn’t imagine putting my little sisters through what Nesta allowed Feyre to endure; although this book gave me a better perspective of why Nesta came off as detached and downright evil throughout the first half of the series. I relate to her in many aspects. I felt as though this was a solid fantasy, and loved the female friendship aspects of it. However, points off for gratuitous sex scenes and the fact that I still wasn’t wholly sold on Nesta as a character despite feeling like Nesta every day of my life. 

Betty // Tiffany McDaniel

9/10

Practically no notes. Ugh! What a beautiful story of childhood innocence, resilience, and overcoming generational trauma and poverty – all against the backdrop of the Appalachian Mountains. It took me a while to get into this one; I started and stopped it thrice throughout the course of 2023, but once I picked it back up and got through the first two chapters, I physically could not set the book down. It was like reading something on a collision course. Highly recommend. 

The Grace Year // Kim Liggett

10/10

My first perfect rating of the year. The religious trauma leapt out. Think The Hunger Games meets the Salem Witch Trials meets The Handmaid’s Tale. Such a quick read, too – I think I read the entire thing in one day, on two separate flights to Minneapolis and Boston, respectively. My favorite “fantasy” of the year thus far. If there’s one book on this list that I recommend you pick up, it’s probably this one. I think you’ll love it too. 

The Cruel Prince // Holly Black

8/10

This year has been all about catching up on the novels that my friends always said I’d love, but I was to pretentious to read. As the neurons in my frontal lobe snap together, I feel myself getting less proud by the day – something you should probably all be grateful to hear. This was one such read. I loved Jude. A piece of me is Jude, powerhungry and ruthless, but without the penchant for swordplay. However, I got a bit lost in the sauce throughout the middle? Maybe I can blame that one for exclusively reading it on a treadmill. 

House of Flame And Shadow // Sarah J. Maas

Did Not Finish (DNF)

Ah, the book that started the months-long reading slump. Sarah, I’m owed personal compensation for the time you made me waste on reading this. I didn’t even love Crescent City 1, but the character assassination of Bryce, Hunt, and hell, even Ruhn was PAINFUL. Would not recommend. Crescent City 1 is a fun standalone. It’s giving Scooby Doo. Hot people solving crimes with a fun pet sidekick. Read that one and be done. We don’t need the Sarah J. Maas multiverse of madness. (Sorry bestie - still love ya.)

Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup // John Kerryrou

8.5/10

I have a feeling if I’d read this before Elizabeth Holmes’s penultimate trial, it would’ve ranked lower, as a lot of the loose ends were inevitably tied up by Kerryrou’s coverage of aforementioned trial. However, one of my goals for 2024 was to read more nonfiction – stuff like this, creative nonfiction, personal essays, all of it. I want to learn things, and I’ve always had a bit of a morbid fascination with the downfall of Theranos. Kerryrou is a journalist, so this was written in approachable, relatable language; great starter nonfiction if you, too, want to brush up on your niche hyperfixation conversation topics. 

Before We Were Innocent // Ella Berman

8/10

This one ranks highly for two reasons, and not necessarily because of the work itself: 

I was laid up in bed for several weeks with two fractured metatarsals, and confined to the four millennial grey walls of my apartment, I felt like I was losing it a bit. I read this one in an afternoon outside on my back patio, broken foot elevated on a tower of pillows, as my husband practically spoon-fed me fruit salad. This, of course, made for a delicious reading experience. 

Because of the broken foot, I was on a bit of pain medication through this time, and I think it made this book glitter a bit more than it actually did. I think I was just glad to have my mind off of the things I was missing out on – like going to the gym, and going on walks, and dancing in the sun, and running laps in the rain. 

Altogether it’s a fun true crime novel reminiscent of Amanda Knox. Real ones know I went through a total Amanda Knox phase my freshman year of college, and all I could talk about was the miscarriage of justice by Italian police on that one. So sub out my motherland for Greece, and put two strange-acting girls in there instead of one, and boom, you have this novel. Reese Witherspoon never disappoints with her selections. 

8. Bright Young Women // Jessica Knoll

6/10

Ugh, such conflicting feelings on this one. You can tell I was in a bit of a true crime phase here. This one’s a fictionalized version of the Chi Omega murders, which famously brought down Ted Bundy. I don’t love that the author chose replace the real narratives of women who were actually impacted by these horrific acts and commodified this story. However, based off of the acknowledgements – it seems she had their blessing? I usually love the types of commercial fiction that feel real enough to touch. Taylor Jenkins Reid does this masterfully. However, this one felt… insensitive at its best. But the writing style was propulsive, and it quickly became another book I devoured on a travel day. 

9. Five Survive // Holly Jackson

5/10

Another travel day book. One thing about me – I really try to avoid screentime while flying, because it may be one of the only times I feel like I can really detach from whatever’s going on below. You will catch me in my Delta economy seat, legs folded beneath me, thumbing through whatever book I’m reading at record speed. I read this one on a flight to DC and remember thinking that I wished it was longer. Again, the true crime phase. I was deep in it. But yeah. Not much to say here. It’s a thriller novel. 

10. The Nightingale // Kristin Hannah

10/10

Oh, Lord. What do I even say about this masterpiece? 

Some might call it a beach read. Fine, whatever. Sue me. Lock me up and throw away the key – this formerly pretentious English major, who used to impress boys based on her knowledge of Nabokov and Murakami, LOVES a good beach read every now and then. I’ve gotten to a point in my life where, if I’m picking up a book, I want to actually escape into its pages. I’m a bit past laboring over purple prose or analyzing the quality of the text itself. This isn’t to say I won’t give what I read a halfway decent literary critique – I still can’t bring myself to finish books with terrible writing, and I’ll admit that I do still see myself as “above” most BookTok-type books – but at this point, I’m just too beat to care. Like, I can barely afford to keep a roof over my head and purchase healthy groceries, why would I spend the same mental energy that I do at the checkout line whining over prose on the Internet? 

Anyways. This one. Oh my gosh. I really, genuinely have no words. Books don’t often make me emotional. I’ve read everything I could get my hands on since I was, like, three. But this one made me full-body sob. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Kristin Hannah, I could kiss you.

Side note: I read this one in a night, too, not because I was traveling, but because I actually wanted to. 

11. The Women // Kristin Hannah

9/10

It’s hard to follow up a masterpiece like The Nightingale, although I do think this one held its own. I’m mostly just freaked out that the main character hailed from my father’s San Diego, her love interest from my mother’s San Antonio, and she ended up (spoilers!) in my beloved Garden City of Missoula, Montana. Kristin, if you are in my walls, please get out expeditiously. I’m going to have to ask you to start paying rent. 

And, as an aside, here’s all of the books I’m currently reading: 

Magnolia Parks // Jessa Hastings (which I’m loving. It feeds my Love Island UK proclivities. I never said I wasn’t a whore for reality TV. I said I was pretentious. Those are two different things.)

Everything I Know About Love // Dolly Alderton (sort of what inspired me to resurrect my Tumblr. I found myself relating to her need to do things for the anecdote a bit too much. I thought that maybe, I, too, could immortalize these things to laugh on when I am not twenty-something.)

Demon Copperhead // Barbara Kingsolver (which I think will be a bit like Betty, and I’ll have to power through the first several chapters in order to actually blitz through the rest. Fun writing style, though. Just getting bored of it fast.) 

Adult Drama // Natalie Beach (Okay, okay, I haven’t actually started this one yet, but it’s been on my list. Like I said! It’s the year of the personal nonfiction novel! And admittedly, I worshiped Caroline Calloway when I was sixteen and thought I was deep, so I’m invested in Natalie’s side of the narrative.)

And, I know what you’re thinking: here’s this privileged white girl, reading her privileged white girl books. I know, I know. I desperately need to diversify my reading list, and believe it or not, it is something I’ve been intentional about this year. I really hope to spend the latter half of the year reading books from diverse perspectives. Fiction and nonfiction alike bear such an incredible opportunity to educate and broaden the perspectives of those who read. 

So there’s that. The books from a girl who loves books. Hit my “ask” box for recommendations. I love giving the oddly specific ones. 

Xoxo

Lys

[musingsofabookworm1]

My Last 13 Reads

Another "dump" post. School's done now, so hopefully I can keep up again. I read 105 books from the last day of school last year to the last day of school this year. Down from the norm. Hopefully next year will be better.

Without further adieu...

Nothing Sung and Nothing Spoken by Nita Tyndall - 3 stars - YA World War II novel set in the Swing Youth Movement (I did not know what this was prior). Charlotte, "Charlie", goes to an underground club and begins a queer romance with her friend, but the romance and the war both don't go the way Charlie had hoped. Lots of comparisons to books I've enjoyed, but it wasn't as good as those (ie Ruta Sepetys).

Whiteout by Dhonielle Clayton, Tiffany D. Jackson, Nic Stone - 4 stars - another YA by the same authors as last year's Blackout. Teens come together during a snow storm that shuts down Atlanta at Christmastime to help one of their own with a big apology. It's better than it sounds, and these authors are amazing!

Venco by Cherie Dimaline - 3 stars - Venco is a coven (See what she did there with the anagram?) posing as a business. A silver spoon that has "SALEM" engraved on it takes Lucky St. James and her grandmother on quite the journey. Another witch book that was average.

Just the Nicest Couple by Mary Kubica - 3 stars - Definitely not Kubica's best. Nina's husband goes missing. Her coworker and husband seem to be covering something up. More average lieterature. I still think Kubica's first novel, The Good Girl, is her best.

The Rabbit Hutch by Tess Gunty - 3 stars - This came highly recommended, but I found it, too, average. Vacca Vale, Indiana is a rundown town. Four teenagers who've aged out of the foster system live in old apartments searching for freedom. Side note: one of said teens is named Blandine, and that name made me roll my eyes in annoyance until the very end.

All Hallows by Christopher Golden - 5 stars - Horror fans, pick up this one that brought me out of an average slump. 1984. Halloween. Massachusetts. Two famlies are falling apart at the seams while children go door-to-door and run the streets afraid of The Cunning Man. You will not be disappointed in this supernatural thriller!

Sam by Allegra Goodman - 3 stars - And back to average. Maybe it would not have been if I'd known it was more the character route versus plot. Sam's parents divorced in her youth. Her father came in and out of her life and, at one point, got her into rock-climbing which was a positve overall.

Saturday Night at the Lakeside Supper Club by J. Ryan Stradal - 4 stars - I'd been waiting for this one. It wasn't as good as his previous two novels, but it was good. It is the love story of Mariel, who inherits a Minnesota supper club from her grandparents, and Ned, who inherits his family's restaurant chain.

Beyond That, The Sea by Lauren Spence-Ash - 5 stars - VERY good read. I heard about it on the All the Books podcast and bought it immediately with an Amazon gift card. As bombs fall in 1940s London, a couple sends their only child, Beatrix, to live with a family in American for safety. Honestly, you don't need to more than that. The story is rich, the characters are memorable, and there were some tears at the end. Not your average WWII novel as it's set in the US.

Lone Women by Victor LaValle - 4 stars - If you've read Victor LaValle, you know his plots are unique. And this is not different. In 1915, Adelaide Henry, a woman in her 30s, leaves her parents for the first time and heads west to California to start fresh. WIth a trunk. The trunk is the key to the story. And you'll never ever guess what's inside.

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick - 5 stars - I heard about this YA on All the Books and bought the ebook immedialtey after not finding in at the library or on Libby. Stevie is the daughter of very right-wing parents. They do not know about her secret girlfriend of two years and how the two of them plan to leave town at the end of the summer together as both have graduated. But in the first chapter, as Stevie and Nora (g/f) are hiking in the woods, Stevie falls, hits her head, and has short term amnesia. She cannot remember the last two years of her life - including Nora. And their relationship was a secret, so nothing in Stevie's life can jog that memory. Nora will do anything to help Stevie remember but does not want to upset Stevie's parents or her own mother.

Jacqueline in Paris by Ann Mah - 3 stars - Last book of the school year. This is a novelization of the year Jackie Kennedy spent in Paris as an undergrad. The writing is good. And the plot is good. But it got slow in parts in the middle.

Tell the Rest by Lucy Jane Bledsoe - 4 stars - First book of the summer. The ending made this one jump from 3 to 4 stars for me. In the opening chapter, Delia and Ernest are teens who've escaped from a conversion camp. They'd not seen or heard from each other since. Delia is back in her Oreogon hometown coaching high school girls' basketball after she gets "let go" from the college program she coached. Ernest, a poet, lives in NYC with his boyfriend but heads to Portland for a temporary teaching position and in hopes to write a poem that's been lurking inside him since his teens. I wanted more of the converstion camp storyline. It did come through at the end, but the buildup was a bit slow.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Ok let's talk about these now that it's over.

So "Next Thursday Morning" won. That's hilarious. So this girl Tiffany got this future message from herself warning her about how the end of time was coming or something but in her anxious state of trying to stop the apocalypse she ended up starting the end of time. Somehow. I didn't get that far. Maybe I'll incorporate this idea into something else.

Perspectives got second place?? Huh. I may do this now. But it needs a better plot. I originally approached it through journal entries, but I'm not sure about that anymore. I do like the idea of seeing something from five different perspectives, but I wasn't a good enough writer in middle school to actually do this well. But TSP has given me a lot of practice with this, and is a lot harder than what Perspectives was. Maybe I'll give it a go again. But it still needs a better plot lol.

Ok but tied with that is The Blind Sight, the cleverest title ever (sarcasm). This girl Jordan is a blind telepath. She's been blind from birth so these sighted visions really freak her out because she doesn't know what she's looking at. Unfortunately at the time I'd never met a blind person. And was in middle school. If I go back to this obviously I need to research. Also it needs a better plot.

Peter Pan but space was this idea I had because in middle school I wanted to try out a sci-fi Peter Pan. I might go back to it, who knows? The basic idea I had for it was there was this like genetic disease that affected males only so they were all sent to this planet that had something in the atmosphere to halt the genetic disease but this also stopped them from aging. Y'know, the lost boys. This was all I had. I still think this is neat.

Tied with that was my trauma dump that I called The Last Time. I had this friend as a kid who I rarely saw cause she moved away but she was MY BEST FRIEND. But then the last time I saw her for a while, her mom kicked my family out of the house (for nothing) and I never saw her again. Until I miraculously ran into her in college??? We hadn't seen each other since fifth grade. That was wild. I think that honestly gave me closure even though we obviously couldn't have the same connection. Maybe I'll still write something similar to this, but maybe it won't be as close to reality as eleven year old me wanted it, since it was very fresh at the time.

Half of the Magic... Faerie and human are twins... Except that I didn't have a plot. I still do want to go back to this. But. Y'know. plot. More than just a gimmick. If you have to know they're both technically half faerie half human. But like the genes split like this for some reason? Idk.

Tied is the FBI one. I didn't know how else to describe Eternity (temp title). Mainly I just love the dynamic between the characters Mariah and Ben. I love them. I've written two things with them. I don't have anything else. Neither can carry a whole book. May make it an anthology?

And last place is The Others (temp title). I didn't know how to describe this one either. Very sad it lost because it's the only one that has an existence that I love, even though I know it's rushed. Conceptually these characters are everything. I will write this one for sure if I can refine plot details.

Alright that's it!

Badly Summarized WIP 2 electric boogaloo

Ok so @theeccentricraven tagged me in this but I already did it here.

However I can do it again!! I didn't do all my WIPs! Because Middle School Me made ten million I've never gone back to.

This won't be as exciting as the last one lol.

Yes I legitimately started all of these. Only two or three I may revisit idk.

Leaving this an open tag this time.

[veliseraptor]

December Reading Recap

I thought about trying to do some kind of 2022 reading summation/best of/worst of/whatever and I might still do that but right now I'm just going "too many booksahhh" so I'm just going to keep on going with month two of my "here's what I read this month" short reviews.

I read a lot this month, but unfortunately it involved several books that missed for me (but a few that I really enjoyed).

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: vol. 1 by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (Seven Seas Translation). I mean, as usual, even without knowing the actual quality of the translation as a translation I am still pining for a professional translator. And yet I'm still reading, because this is the way I have to read the thing as translated by an actual human, and I am enjoying it. This time around I am falling much more in love with Chu Wanning than I did the first time around when I was laser focused on Mo Ran as more nakedly ~my type~ but boy!! *pats Chu Wanning* this man can fit soooo many issues in him.

Babel, Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution by R.F. Kuang. I feel like my relationship status with R.F. Kuang's writing should just be listed as "it's complicated" because I don't even know how I feel about this book, really. It's conceptually fascinating, it's doing so many cool things, the way she chose to end it is very bold and I respect the hell out of it, and something still just didn't quite...click for me in the way that I wanted it to.

I think it was that it felt a little heavy-handed with its metaphors. Which is fine, to be sure, and making your imperialism metaphors specifically about language and translation isn't something I've seen somebody do a lot with in fiction, but...yeah. I'm calling this one less a fault of the book and more a fault of the me, though; it definitely feels like a your mileage may vary situation.

Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke. I picked this up on a whim and it wasn't worth it. The book was very taken with its own cleverness; I was not.

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides. This was another one where the summary/description was more interesting than the actual book turned out being, which was, while readable and I was intrigued enough by the mystery to power through it pretty fast, underwhelming overall.

Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots. Some people (me) keep picking up retellings despite at this point knowing better; other people (me) keep picking up superhero-comics-inspired books despite at this point knowing better, only this time I was actually surprised by how much I liked it. It was legitimately a good story! And you know I'm always going to be a sucker for a story that takes the villain's side.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield. I have the creeping feeling that this book was too sophisticated for me and I would have liked it more if I was more sophisticated, which is an unpleasant feeling to have.

I wanted more deep sea horror from it than I got - not in the sense of ~creatures and tentacles~ or anything, but this was far more a book about grief and loss than it was horror, and it was billed to me as the latter, so I came in from the wrong direction and was a little disappointed. It was a good book, though, and beautifully written.

Everything I Need I Get From You by Kaitlyn Tiffany. Had I known that the title of this book was from a One Direction song (I didn't) I might have anticipated more how much it was about bandom and therefore less relevant to my interests. It was also lighter on the analysis than I expected/wanted, so ultimately this one was a disappointment too.

Beowulf trans. by Maria Dahvana Headley. This is the first translation of Beowulf I have ever actually read (!) and after reading it I kind of wished that I'd read at least one other translation to compare it to. But a lot of the things she was doing with alliteration and assonance and rhythm in the language were just spectacular. And it gave me the chance to read this one (by this translator) coupled with:

The Mere Wife by Maria Dahvana Headley. Adding this to my "books to read in pairs" list alongside the Song of Achilles / Silence of the Girls dyad. It's been sitting on my shelf for a while now, and I finally got around to it as spurred by reading the original Beowulf text, and...whoa. I'm going to be thinking about this one for a while and I want other people I know to read it so I can bounce off their thoughts about it. If you haven't heard of it: this was billed as a retelling (I know) of the Beowulf story set in a gated community but I feel like the fact that it's based on Beowulf is almost beside the point in some ways, and in other ways it's very much in conversation with that text and lives alongside it and maybe a little in argument with it.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: vol. 4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (Seven Seas Translation). I feel a little bad about how my reaction to this volume was a little bit "this was mostly a lot of Wangxian stuff so I was less excited about it" but there you go.

Siren Queen by Nghi Vo. I have to say, I read The Chosen and the Beautiful when it came out and was a little underwhelmed, but the synopsis for this one sounded interesting, and people kept raving about it, so I decided to give it a go, and I liked this one both (a) much better than The Chosen and the Beautiful and (b) just as a book without comparison needed. It also made me want to dig more into early film history. The way that this book is in love with (in a way) early film is also a delight to read, and while I can't call it subtle, it's eerie and beautiful in a way that really worked for me.

The Last Days of Jack Sparks by Jason Arnopp. I read a lot of horror despite the fact that I end up underwhelmed by the vast majority of it. I was slightly less underwhelmed by this one than I expected to be, but that is, as you might note, not exactly an endorsement. Part of the problem was that I found the main narrator just too fucking hateable in a very specific way to feel anything about his suffering but vague, detached interest in where it was going to go.

Heaven Official's Blessing: vol. 5 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (Seven Seas Translation). I just love this book so much and everything about the reading experience is difficult to judge in an objective way because my brain just kind of goes "look at them go! look at these little dudes go! they're so funny :)" in a very empty-headed sort of way.

This volume does sort of fall between my favorite bits, though (after end of Black Water Arc, before the Hua Cheng's Sculpture Gallery), so while it started digging into some of the Crown Prince of Wuyong lore it didn't quite hit the parts that are juiciest for me.

The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett. This book made me so mad about public health policy. Like, so mad. I'm mad about it periodically anyway but this just made it worse. It's really good, very comprehensive overview of some of the emerging diseases since 1950, including Lassa, Ebola, antibiotic resistance, HIV/AIDS, and others. It's long, and definitely a rough read if you've got any kind of disease phobia (she isn't...gruesome about the clinical descriptions but she also isn't mincing words), but worth a read if you feel like you can do it and are interested in epidemiology.

There's definitely outdated terminology and some bits that made me squint about the book's politics, but overall the author's clear message of the need for holistic health policies for everybody mitigated a lot of those concerns (particularly the way the author repeatedly underlined the links between poverty and deprivation and vulnerability to illness, and the vitality of giving people a way out of that situation as part of public health policy.

The Bone Orchard by Sara Mueller. The last book I read in 2022! I'm so fascinated by everything this book was doing. There was some very interesting world-building under the skin of what was really mostly a mystery with a side of politics. And I say that favorably. Ultimately I'm not sure that it'd make my favorite books of the year list, but I'd give it a casual recommendation; that is, if someone was eyeing it to read I'd say it was worth picking up.

I'm currently reading Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism by Michelle Goldberg, which was published in 2007 (during the Bush years) and I can already tell reading it now is going to be an experience.

[stormyoceans]

i need to hear your thoughts about all gmmtv 2023 pilot trailers............

HIDING IN SHAME BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS GOT SO LONG BUT HERE WE GO I GUESS

23.5: LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously extremely incredibly insanely excited for this one i cannot wait for this show to bless my screen!!!!!!! i may not be the biggest fan of the whole ‘im gonna keep my identity a secret while messagging with my crush’ thing (mostly because i didn’t really like how it was handled in fish upon the sky so i tend to be a bit on edge about it, it happened with kanthua in the eclipse too), but considering that my soul left my body to go commune with god when ongsa decided to call herself ‘earth’ because the earth orbits the sun, i'd say that's not gonna be an issue sfjksgdksg also the trailer is just SO LOVELY AND CHARMING and i already adore ongsa's different colored beanies and sun's different colored headband and IT'S MILKLOVE SO IM READY TO BE SWEPT OFF MY FEET!!!!!!!!!!

a boss and a babe: yeah i know the title is abysmal but let's talk about more important things like FORECEBOOK MY BELOVEDS!!!!!!!!! i think im possibly one of the very few people who actually enjoyed enchanté and i honestly ADORE forcebook. they have a fantastic chemistry that really shines through when they banter but they also can do UST and pining SO WELL, im just incredibly happy they got another series. im pretty much already in love with book's character and i tend to really like office romance in BLs, so im excited to see them in this kind of setting!!!! if i have to be completely honest though, there's something about the mock trailer that didn't fully charm me, but i can't quite put my finger on what exactly. maybe it's the kind of humour they used? but i wasn't too fond of the humour in roommates of poongduck either and yet i LOVED the show, so that’s hardly gonna be a problem. IT'S TIME FOR FORCEBOOK TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND IM HERE FOR IT!!!!!!!!

cherry magic thailand: since we didn't get a trailer it's hard for me to form a solid opinion on it, though i do admit that out of all the BLs they announced this is the one im less excited about, mainly for two reasons: 1) dark blue kiss is one of the few popular BLs i still have to watch, so im not emotionally attached to taynew, nor am i familiar with any of their other works, which means that without a trailer i really have no idea what to expect acting or chemistry wise, and 2) i know they're gonna be two very different beasts because the thai version is gonna be an adaptation of the manga and not a remake of the japanese series, so im fully aware it's not fair to draw comparisons between the two, but the jp one has such a huge place in my heart and it also gave us one of the very few aroace representation we have in media, it's just gonna be really tough for me to keep the two things separated in my head and to accept the differences between them ;;;;;;;; on a more positive note i have a crush on both sing and jan so my bisexual ass is already sweating

cooking crush: [insert tiffany pollard's beyonce meme] OFFGUN???????!!!!!!???!?!?? god the amount of clownery we've all partaken in thinking they weren't gonna do BLs anymore meanwhile kings were having the time of their lives planning their FOURTH SERIES together. literally the one time im not gonna mind acting like an absolute buffoon sfjkshfksg i think not me will always remain my favorite offgun project but i have a lot of hopes for this one!!! i absolutely LOVE kitchen settings, however i've found all the food BLs i have watched until now kinda.. lackluster. i did enjoy what zabb man, but it's not one of my favorite shows, so i hope that in my time of need offgun will come to me with the food BL of my hopes and dreams. another positive note is that neo is in this as well, and while im a bit perplexed at the choice of not pairing him with louis, im pretty curious to see him act with someone else!!!

dangerous romance: im surprisingly really excited for this????? which i did NOT expect considering that it has an high school setting, but the trailer got me hooked!!!! i only saw chimon in he's coming to me (yes i know i have to watch the gifted I KNOW), while im more familiar with perth because of love by chance and the stranded, but they seem to have a very nice chemistry and i really like that the show will probably deal with more serious topics. im also a simple woman with very simple needs and if you dangle enemies to friends to lovers in front of my eyes i will follow it blindly like a horse with a carrot. also hiiiii papang hiiiiii just wanted to say im free whenever hiiii <3

hidden agenda: JOONGDUNK AND AOUBOOM IN THE SAME SERIES THAT'S ALL I NEED TO BE ON BOARD WITH THIS. star in my mind wasn't the best show but i think joongdunk have great chemistry and they seem very comfortable with each other, so im excited to see them again and for joong to play a less serious character than kluen was. the premise gives me a lot of 2gether vibes, so not particularly groundbreaking, and im a bit worried that the drama in the story could frustrate me a little, but i see pining and i start BARKING, which means this has the potential to have me committed. also i personally find aouboom characters shady as hell but that actually just makes me even MORE EXCITED GIVE ME MEAN GAYS POWER COUPLE PRETENDING TO BE NICE BUT FUCKING THINGS UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE. last but not least: im starting to believe guy could have chemistry with a rock, that one second of him and pod got me like a dog seeing a squirrel just on high alert with my ear up and my body weight leaning forward ready to bite like HELLOO????????? (what's with the similes today idk anyway)

last twilight: the professional mental health crisis intervention team currently in my room is telling me i cannot afford another meltdown so im just gonna point you to this and this to have a vague idea of how i feel about it but to sum it up IM MAKING THIS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY TRAIT I WILL EAT DRINK BREATHE SPEAK DREAM OF NOTHING BUT THIS SHOW AND THIS SHOW ONLY THIS IS ALREADY THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME THE MOCK TRAILER ALONE HAS GRABBED ME BY THE THROAT AND SLAMMED ME TO THE FLOOR SO HARD THE TILES CRACKED IT'S GONNA BE SO BEAUTIFUL SO GROUND BREAKING SO LIFE ALTERING THEY ALREADY OUTSOLD OUTDONE OUTSLAYED OUTEVERYTHINGED [GETS SHOT WITH AN ELEPHANT TRANQUILIZER]

only friends: look there's no point in hiding it: i have some mixed feelings about this show. on one hand it has a stellar cast that im in love with and im always STOKED to see a BL dealing with more mature themes, on the other im afraid these are.. not the kind of mature themes i tend to enjoy ;;;;;;;; it's like with love mechanics, where i simply could not get into it because despite yinwar's insane chemistry the cheating and the messiness were just too much for me: i was feeling more bad than good while watching it, and it just ended up turning an enjoyable experience into an upsetting one. of course im not gonna presume and judge things just from a mock trailer, but the fact that this is gonna deal with toxic relationships is giving me pause. it's really just a matter of personal preferences though and im still gonna give it a chance!!! it's also very nice to see everyone on my dash screaming and being beyond excited about it so im gonna support everyone from the sideline!!!!!

our skyy 2: IM SORRY FOR BEING DISGUSTINGLY BIASED BUT THEY'RE GIVING PUENTALAY BACK TO ME AND THAT'S THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT LITERALLY SOMEONE IN GMMTV IS GETTING KISSED ON THE MOUTH THIS IS NEITHER A PROMISE NOR A THREAT BUT SIMPLY A FACT IM BOOKING THE PLANE TICKETS AS WE SPEAK. we're also getting phutian!!!!! and pranpat!!!!! and akkayan!!!!! and more forcebook and joongdunk and pondphuwin!!!!! and the kids from my school president that we’re finally gonna meet next week and for which i already have the adoption papers ready to sign!!! i usually have mixed feelings on second seasons because most of the time they just provide unnecessary drama, but i think a special episode could work very well. is this just banking on nostalgia for viewers' pleasure? absolutely. do i care? [IS TOO BUSY MAKING OUT WITH A GMMTV EXEC TO ANSWER]

all in all im incredibly happy with what we got and i think it's a pretty good variety: we have school settings and office settings and kitchen settings, we have younger characters and adult characters, we have some light storylines and some heavy storylines.... and we are still far from being able to actually call this 'diverse', but we finally got a GL and a disabled character and it may not be enough but it's a start!!!

[alltoolewis]

You are engaged to Ben and he gets you a new ring after 4 year engagement?💍 please and thank you so much, love ur blog :) xxxxxxx

You couldn't believe how fast time has flew as you look at the small but delicate rock on your finger. It has been a whole 4 years since the love of your life got down on one knee and asked you to be his for the rest of the life... it was the best day of your life! The day that you dreamed of ever since you met the young aspiring footballer from Milton Keynes, the boy who spilt coffee all over you on your fist day at king power, the boy who showed up at your flat still wearing his training kit for your first date because he promised you he wouldn't be late. If any one would of told you that 8 years later you would be waiting for the day to take his last name, you would of told them to shut it! But here you are... counting down the days for that to happen.

You and Ben never planned to be engaged for this long! You were both 21 when he proposed to you 4 years ago, both agreeing to at least wait a year or two until you made everything official, wanting to enjoy time being engaged. However when you finally decided to set a date, disaster hit... that disaster being covid. Date after, date after date were postponed, leaving you both heartbroken at the fact you would have to wait longer for the titles of husband and wife!

"Hey you..." Ben whispered as you continued to read your book. After 8 years together he knew to never cause to much disruption while you were reading, unless he had a death wish "I got a surprise for you..." Wrapping his arms around you as he clutched the small tiffany box in his hand.

"Baby can't it wait..." You sighed, eyes staying glued on the beige pages in front, ignoring his rolling eyes as you flicked the page over "It's just getting good!"

Ignoring your pleads, Ben snatched the book from your grasp flinging it across the room as your eyes finally meet his in disgust. "What the fuck Ben!" You gasped, attempting to get up just for Ben to pull you back into his hold "Why the hell would you do that!?! I've lost my page now!" "First of all, stop being on dramatic! I checked the page before I there it... it was page 173..." Ben chuckled as he turned you around so you were both crossed leggeded facing each other, leaning down to you ear as he chuckled lightly "Or was it page 193..?"

Slapping his chest lightly you giggled "Ben!"

"Anyway, away from the book... do you know what day it is m'lady?" Ben asked, as he watched confusion wash over you. Eyes scanning the calander as you crossed off important dates out of your mind. "I am forgetting something Ben? Was we supposed to go for dinner? Shit...! I'm so sorry, are we late! I made us late haven't I?" You gasped, jumping of the couch as you frantically pace the living room.

Laughing Ben followed your nervous steps, pulling you into his embrace as he planted his lips on yours. Something he knew relaxes you instantly! "Baby calm down... there wasn't a date.."

"There wasn't? What are you talking about then Ben?"

Grabbing onto your hand, he fell down on one knee just like he did 4 years to this day. "Ohhhhhhhhh" You giggled as realisation hit you, causing Ben to playfully roll his eyes at your forgetfulness "I didn't think you would remember that Ben!"

Ben chuckled at your response, pulling out the small blue box as your eyes go wide "How I could I forget the day I asked my soulmate to be mine forever? How could you think so lowly of me!" Opening the box to reveal the most stunning diamonte ring. "Ben? You've already proposed to me? what's this for..."

"(Y/fn), I have had the honor of loving you now for 8 whole years! and I know it was never our intentions to wait this long for our wedding and there is nothing I want more than right now than seeing you in your white gown, holding you bouquet as your dad passes the honour to me! But for now... I will just have to deal with calling you my beautiful, caring, unbelievable finance! So... (y/fn) will you make me the happiest man on earth by saying yes to marrying me again?"

Tears streamed down your face as you leapt in his arms, causing you both to topple on the fall in laughter. In one move you press your lips to his, your tears mixing together as your lips moved together....

"Yes! Benjamin James Chilwell" You whispered, caressing his cheek gently as you looked into his lovestruck eyes... "I will marry you.."

_____________________________________

Honestly never intended for this to be this long hehe! But I just go into my feels a bit seeing as tho I can now sort of relate to this hehe💍

Thank you so much for you kind words lovely!!!

[the-pale-goddess]

Ethan & Tiffany: Endgame (HC)

A quick reminder: I've rejected canon Third Year completely, so mind that none of OHTY bs happens in my E&T canon timeline.

A/N: I tried my best to write every major fact down - hopefully the final product isn’t too messy or too boring, I’m new to the headcanon business and this isn’t even written in the headcanon form because I’m a rebel lol

Huge thanks to the lovely Anon who requested this HC and every single one of you still interested in E&T’s shenanigans, your support is the greatest gift I could ever receive! If you have some more specific questions about these two, feel free to hit my askbox anytime 💕

Now let’s check what’s in store for Tiffany and Ethan!

Children

Neither of them planned children in their lives; they were perfectly comfortable in the relationship they had—living together, advancing their glittering careers while supporting each other, slaying the game as the ultimate power couple.

But life has its ways, of course, and a week prior to their third anniversary Tiffany found out she was pregnant. The news sparked blind panic in the 30-year-old doctor; she thought her whole world fell like dominoes. Tiffany wouldn't intentionally start a family: she'd just started turning her dreams and plans into reality and she didn't even consider herself fit to be a mother (even though deep down she craved it).

She'd spent an entire week full of doubts, listing all her options, before she finally shared the news with Ethan. His reaction was surprisingly calm, considering his stance on having children. Based on the evidence gathered throughout the week, he'd already suspected pregnancy and did some calculations on his own.

They both agreed it wasn’t the best time—their busy schedules didn’t allow them to even reconsider the concept of starting a family. Nevertheless, the baby was coming, and their hearts filled with strange excitement. Having a baby on board seemed surreal at first, but after the dust had settled they felt oddly content about the unforseen circumstances.

E&T's world turned upside down the second their son was born. Raising a child happened to be the greatest challenge these two brilliant doctors had encountered. Luckily, they both relish a good challenge. Guided by the unexpected overflow of affection, they quickly settled into the alien routine of parenthood.

Nathaniel Jonah (also known as NJ, Nate) turned out to be a perfect blend of his parents' most prominent features & traits: Ethan's ocean eyes and stubbornness mixed with Tiffany's smile and warm heart.

Three years later, another surprise awaited. The most shocking thing about the second pregnancy was that it didn't happen sooner (they'd been exceptionally careless). Nicolette „Letty”, a spitting image of her mother, stole Ethan's heart from the start, bringing even more joy to their controlled chaos.

The fancy condo was too small for a family of four, so The Ramdams were forced to find a new home. They moved to a dreamy house in the Boston suburbs merely a month before their daughter was born.

The third one (for a change) received a proper invitation to this world. Tiffany wasn't the biggest fan of the idea of having another baby, but her window was closing (she was 38) and Ethan's palpable excitement tipped the scales. Everyone jokes Aine must be adopted because she's the most unproblematic angel, unlike her parents.

The family wouldn't be full without pets: Nettie (British Shorthair cat) & Hopper (English bulldog).

Marriage

Marriage was never on their agenda. Neither of them felt the need to make their relationship formal, it wouldn't change anything between them—they were already acting like a married couple. Both Tiffany and Ethan think there are more valuable symbols of love than some paper signed in the presence of everyone they know. Partnership they were in seemed like the most comfortable and obvious choice.

The topic resurfaced with the pregnancy news. Our good guy Ethan, our Mr Must-Do-What’s-Right, proposed to Tiffany on their third anniversary dinner, right after they discovered they were expecting. He did it because it made sense. Because it was convenient. Because it was a decent thing to do.

But guess what...Tiffany rejected the proposal. She didn’t want to marry out of obligation. If they were really going to jump into marriage, she wanted it to matter. Ethan understood her point of view, though it didn't stop him from jokingly annoying her on every given occasion that she rejected him.

He waited two years before popping the question again. This time she said yes.

Dr. Grumpsey was willing to agree on a lavish wedding if Tiffany would insist. Lucky for him, his woman hates big, conventional weddings and all that unnecessary attention around the reception. They're both very private people, so they planned the wedding they were actually excited about.

They eloped to Miami where it all started, exchanging vows to the accompaniment of the ocean waves, with little NJ by their side. The wedding reception was just three people enjoying their day at the beach.

As you may suspect, their friends and family flew into a rage when they found out the wedding took place behind their backs. Jackie's death threats were particularly disturbing, so E&T decided to throw an afterparty for their loved ones only.

Career

Tiffany saw her future in diagnostics and followed that path, balancing her personal goals with striving for improvement in patient care. The word about her accomplishments with one of the best diagnostics teams spread fast; shortly after her challenging yet successful residency, Doctor Addams quickly proved to be one of the most valuable and respected diagnosticians—not only at Edenbrook, but also statewide, and later nationwide. She cracked some of the toughest, most hopeless cases, saving lives of many patients considered lost causes.

During her first pregnancy, her career was already on high speed and the situation made her even more determined to keep it that way. She didn't want to sacrifice her newly established position and Ethan did everything he could to support her and her career development.

She remained a vital part of Edenbrook's Diagnostics Team under Ethan's leadership for a few years. Their minds combined gave spectacular results and above it all they truly enjoyed working together. However, when Letty was born sharing responsibilities at home and managing the time got significantly harder. With minimal hesitation, Ethan decided it was his cue to leave.

He'd been thinking about the change for much longer than he was willing to admit: over the years he'd accomplished everything he could dream of and Edenbrook had become more of a duty than a challenge. So he quit, leaving the team in the most capable hands of Doctor Addams-Ramsey.

For a year and a half The Ethan Ramsey was a stay-at-home dad, juggling family, research for his second book and setting up his clinic with none other than Tobias Carrick.

Ethan wasn't 100% convinced if starting the practice with Tobias would be a wise move, but the clinic exceeded his expectations. Apart from the great sense of accomplishment, he finally gained full independence at work. And there were no bloody interns to babysit anymore.

When little Ramdams got older, he approached Tiffany with a job offer; the best diagnostician in the country was the last missing link in his clinic. She let it marinate for a few years and accepted the offer at the launch of her second book, soon after Letty's 18th birthday.

____

If there’s a typo or a mistake somewhere...No, there isn’t kgjdkgjdk

Thanks for reading 🥰 I have a few exciting fics in the making (both AUs & canon) and I hope I’ll be able to finish them soon!

[transsexualunderground]

a ramble on my personal canon that turned into a ramble about the production and universe implications of the TVS and RWS

*cracks knuckles despite not being able to* today i shall talk about my personal canon for ttte/rws because i'm in the mood for an infodump :sunglasses:

you may be wondering, jade, what the hell is this supposed to mean? basically it's me trying to stitch a patchwork of the classic series canon, hit era, cgi, rws, and my own oc stuff to my liking.

...and i'll also admit i wrote this really tired, but I wanted to infodump so bad. putting the rest below the cut!

so far, my most simple summary of it so far is that it's mostly the RWS with the timeline of the model series. things from the RWS happen in the order they happened in the TVS (albeit not with the exact same execution as the RWS or the TVS all the time). Series 5's events happen, as do series 6's and maybe some of series 7's? But also, events that didn't get adapted to the model series happen, as to characters, such as Bear and two entire railways. I also wanted to take some characters from hit era and beyond, albeit I'm not sure I have a complete list yet.

I'm also including the UHR, aka the Ulfstead Heritage Railway, my original smaller railway that kinda... happened. Basically, a variation on Toby's Discovery happens, and the controllers of the railways, not quite sure what to do with it, end up with an offer from my oc, Tiffany Lancaster. She offers to run the track and perhaps then some as a heritage railway. Restoration ensues! It connects to the Skarloey, as seemingly shown in the show, and the NWR. I also decided it runs around inside Ulfstead itself and a bit further south to the Ulfstead Castle and The Mansion, which I'm using the RWS canon for and saying they're a preserved castle and mansion-turned-expensive-fancypants-hotel respectively. Sorry, no Estate Railway here... maybe, I haven't watched relevant CGI episodes yet, but something about a castle on top of a mine sounds horribly structurally unstable. But it's not like anyone lives at that castle anyways.

Other things I'm consolidating include: Toby's Branch Line and the Arlesdale Railway run near each other, like in the 2014 map of Sodor. I've elected to put Toby's Old Line on Sodor like in the TVS. James's red coat of paint comes after his accident, like in the RWS and CGI canons. Thomas just kinda Showed Up, like in the RWS. And Henry doesn't need the special coal post-rebuild like in the RWS, albeit he still might have some occasional problems.

honestly, i just wanted to write this because I was sorting out my OC event timeline for my fanbooks, realized I've been using the TVS timeline the entire time, remembered I had a personal canon, and then went wild assigning series to events and year estimates.

And, to be fair, in-universe, these stories were NOT written at the time they happened or anywhere near 'em until much later into my fanbooks, if at all. My stories are written in modern day both in-universe and out because of whatever the heck the Secondman got up to, so this is a bit loose! And setting them in more vague years, like the TVS did, might help me in the long run somehow. Toward the Christopher Awdry part of the RWS's run, more stories were written just so the TVS could have stories to base things off of, so I'm genuinely unsure if they're supposed to be records of a past year in the RWS canon or set closer to the year they were written or what. I may have worded that weird because I'm tired, but basically, if those stories were written to be scrambled in with the others in the early TVS, does that mean that they took place during different times rather than when one would think the books are set?

Despite being the guy who posted the links to RWS resources, I still don't know as much as I'd like to, LOL. And consolidating multiple canons, while fun, is tiring. So with this, I shall end this ramble. Goodnight. I leave you with MS Paint Wesley whom I drew with a mouse and also whilst very tired. I could not wrap my head around perspective tonight LOL

[seravph]

Hi, I didn't really know who to reach out for this question, but do you have any tips on how to find your own unique fashion style? I'm not really looking to hop on popular clothing trends on social media e.g. eboy/girl or cottagecore, so I'm not exactly sure where to start! I come to consult you because I've seen some of your posts and you look very well versed in fashion and you seem to know your own personal style. My wardrobe is very outdated and I would like to update it to reflect the truest expression of myself. Thank you 😊 You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like doing so btw 😅

EEEE more fashion asks i love these thank you!!!! warning this got a lil (very) long so its under the cut :^)

so first and foremost the most important part about curating your own style is to learn more about your body and what flatters/doesnt flatter it. it's learning some basic fashion 'rules' pertaining to proportions, cuts, etc. there are plenty of resources on this if you dont know where to start (kibbe body test, video, video) but keep in mind this step has nothing to do with your weight!!!! i could talk wayyy more about this but at the end of the day, some clothing is just more flattering for specific body shapes - that doesnt mean you cant wear something that isnt perfectly flattering, but knowing your body and knowing what flatters it will make you understand your own style and help guide the pieces you buy. fashion 'rules' arent necessarily meant to be followed, but just understood so that 'breaking' them is a conscious choice. (it also really helped with my insecurities???? like this step is basically recognizing that its not your body thats unflattering, its the clothing, if that makes sense???)

also remember that every 'style' works for every body type. i.e if you want to be a 60s vibe but youre too curvy for shift dresses, there are plenty of clothes in a similar style that would look great on you <3 basically, if you dont like the way a piece looks on you, you can still achieve the same vibe with a different article of clothing thats more flattering. but also umm.... you can just wear the unflattering thing if you want LOL if it makes you happy... then it becomes your own controlled decision <3 live love laugh follow your heart

okay. now that you have that out of the way. there are a million ways to develop a sense of style, and no particular order in which i recommend them. what i love doing is creating pinterest boards for the spring/summer or fall/winter seasons and just filling them with pieces i would wear in a perfect world. i dont mean like cottagecore aesthetic boards, just boards full of runway looks and clothing pngs that i like. i also love making little outfits for characters which can influence my own style. everyone thinks of their style differently; i think of my own outfits as little vignettes with narratives behind them, but other people are more concerned with just wearing things they think are pretty, other people view it as an expression of art or their identity, and other people just want to feel comfortable!!! its all up to you and what youre drawn to!!

one thing that tan france mentioned once was to go online window shopping by going onto the website for a brand you like (regardless of whether its affordable or realistic!) and just adding things to your cart that youre interested in. dont worry about how expensive they are or anything, and when youre done, remove all the items you like the least. and then keep reviewing and removing until you have just a handful of really nice items you really like, and keep doing this with other brands until you can identify common threads between the pieces you like. you dont have to buy them!! in fact maybe its better if you dont!!! and the websites dont have to be like zara or h&m ... go on balmain or chanel if you want, play pretend and have fun!!

re: the last bullet point, i think a big turn off for people in terms of fashion is the idea that you need to wear something palatable and 'appropriate.' its like looking at a runway and thinking "its nice, but i would never wear that in real life." but honestly????? in a perfect world i would be wearing full gowns to the supermarket!!!! if your ideal style is imaginative but unattainable, your style in practice will be a microcosm of it. basically... dream big... dont be afraid to 'overdress' if its what you like!! one of the best pieces of advice i ever got was from my aunt, who offered to by me a plastic tiara. i asked her when i was ever going to wear it irl, and she just looked at me and said "??? you can wear it whenever you want to!!" so true!!! wear a tutu to mcdonalds. wear a bedazzled tux to prom. who cares

accessories, nail polish, hair, jewelry, perfume and makeup goes a long way in developing style. i dont wear a ton of makeup, but just putting some color on my cheeks achieves a kind of sunkissed lovestruck vibe that i strive for. i paint my nails red because i think its chic or bright colors so they contrast with a toned down outfit. even wearing no accessories is an accessory in itself. accessorizing (or specifically not accessorizing) is like adding texture to an outfit imo

anything that advises you about 'absolutely necessary essentials everyone needs' is entirely wrong. there is no one size fits all; i.e everyone says you need one good pair of denim jeans, but i havent worn jeans in two years!!! an essential for ME is a pair of neutral wool shorts, but an essential for another person could be a thick knit sweater or for another person, a flannel. the idea that everyone needs a 'little black dress' or a 'basic white t shirt' is preposterous. YOUR essentials depend entirely on YOUR style. a pair of denim jeans is useless if you hate wearing jeans!!!!

as for my personal style, im mostly influenced by movies, books, songs, characters, feelings, colors, high fashion, and costumes. ultimately, you should worry less about what you want to be and worry more about what you already like. every piece i have kind of plays into some narrative ive constructed, or otherwise theyre all special to me :) if you want to update your wardrobe, dont feel the need to over consume fast fashion (or any fashion for that matter) to do so. if you take it slow and buy pieces you really love, every item will have a story and you'll begin to develop a more stable internal style and they'll last longer :)

let me know if you have questions or want me to talk more about any of this because i really love answering these kinds of questions!!!!!! especially the body type thing because thats such an important but long winded thing i couldnt really fit it all LOL

some more videos + resources about style and fashion i think are interesting:

deep dive into kibbe body types

pinterest aesthetics, fatphobia, and white washing

lies about clothes to unlearn in your twenties

studio ghibli: how clothing shapes identity

breakfast at tiffanys style analysis: the reinvention of onself with fashion

will the millennial aesthetic ever end?

go viral, post #spon, get canceled: how social media transformed fashion in the 2010s

analyzing the "is it a cute outfit or is she just skinny?" meme

[mochminnie]

All The Way Up - Marty McFly

Pairing: Marty McFly x Reader

⬇️Book Cover⬇️

Author's Note: This book is a type of Marty Mcfly x reader/ original character. I don't know what it is, having a big crush on Marty. Since, Netflix came out with the Back To The Future trilogy, I just wanted to make this Marty Mcfly fanfic. My love for young Michael J. Fox, always had a crush on him. I just can't help but, look at him he is just so irresistible. Will always be one of my favorite actors. His comedic remarks/ aura. He can just be awkward and sexy at the same time. Stephanie "Tiffany" Lang is the main character/ You (reader). Though I have created a bunch of x reader books, I would like to make this more an OC. I don't want you guys to see this (y/n) or (Reader insert) etc. You can always replace her appearance, height and all that jazz.Sorry, if my grammar needs work, you can comment or message me if I needed some work. Gonna help a writer out. I'll try not to mix in any slang in the 2000's. I'm a teenager in 2020, tell me if the slang/ terms are accurate in the 80's. Recently I have been watching nostalgic movies during the global quarantine. This is also on Wattpad.

Chapter 1

Marty stops by Doc's house before school. His equipment is still on for the whole week, Einstein is not even home for the past week. Marty have been testing these speakers. The phone rings, Marty tries to find a phone under the pile of papers. "Yo." Picking the phone up. "Marty, is that you?" Not sure if it's Marty or not. Marty have been looking for him all week. Wondering if Einstein is with him which he is with Doc. "Thank god, I've found you. Listen can you and Stephanie meet me at Twin Pines Mall tonight at 1:15? I made a major breakthrough and I'll need both of your assistance. " Doc explain that Einstein is with him. Then a bunch of clocks start to alarms at 8 o'clock. It turns out it's 25 minutes slow,

    Marty ends up being late for school. Starting to rushing and skateboarding to school. Marty was about to walk in the School's main enterance. Jennifer is trying to sneak Marty from the back and get to class and not getting caught by Strickland. Peeking through each side to se it's clear. "This time it wasn't my fault. The doc set all his clocks 25 minutes slow." Strickland heard him talking to Jennifer still getting caught. "Doc? Am I to understand you're still hanging around with Dr. Emmett Brown, McFly?" Handing each tardy slip to Jennifer and Marty. "Let me give you a nickel's worth of free advice, young man. This so called Dr. Brown is dangerous. He's a real nutcase. Hang around with him you're gonna end up in big trouble." Marty is pissed off by him giving a lecture to not be around Doc. "Oh, yes sir." With that Marty smirks. Then Strickland pushing him back."You got a real attitude problem McFly. You're a slacker. I can't believe Stephanie hanging around with a young man like you. She never was a slacker, all that trouble because of you. Which you remind me of your father, he was slacker too." Marty just wanted to leave. Can't believe he have to bring up his dad and his friend. They got nothing to do with being late. Marty stayed quite most of the time. Yet Strickland stops him again. "I notice your band is on the roster for the dance auditions after school today. Why even bother, McFly? You don't have a chance. You're too much like your old man. No McFly ever amounted to anything in history of Hill Valley." Strickland is up close and personal to Marty's face. Marty response, "Yeah, well history is gonna change."

    During lunch, Usually bullies would bully you calling you, "Fatty" or "Short little piggy" Thank god no one's messing around with Stephanie.

⬇️Hair⬇️

⬆️Her outfit ⬆️

    Marty set along with his band "The Pinheads." Talking about what song and how they are gonna audition for the dance after school. Tiffany (Stephanie goes by Tiffany or Tiff with her friends. She's okay with calling her either one. That's just having two first names.) She was sitting alone, waiting for Jennifer, some people would sit along with you. Jennifer came to the table first. "Hey, Tiff!" She smiled. "Jennifer, where were you and Marty? I didn't see you both in class this morning." She rolled her eyes, "Why is Strickland always stuck up in our asses like does he got anything better to do." She shrugs and laughed how aggressive when your very opinionated. It was Strickland handing them tardy slips. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about Marty." With that she seems to be nervous or unhappy about something. She told a glance towards Marty. "- I don't think I can be with him anymore. Tiff he's great, he didn't do anything wrong. I know this looks really bad he to really like me." Stephanie shocked by what's she's saying right now, that this would most certainly break his heart. This isn't about her right now, it's about Marty and Jennifer. "Jen, it will break his heart, you just have to tell him. Tell him how you truly feel and please don't lead him on any further."  Tiffany tries to give the best advice. "I know you liked him." Tiffany drops her fork and stopped eating. Jennifer giggles, "What-"  she smiles at Stephanie telling her through her eyes she wasn't angry and it was all genuine. With that Stephanie is still trying her best to process all of this.

    Stephanie rumbles and starts panicking. "Jennifer I can't, that's horrible of me in his eyes he thinks you love him." Jennifer shakes her head, she's okay with all of this. Putting her hand on top of your hand. "I just know, no need to feel bad. You can't help it, if anything Marty deserves you. The both of you have things in common you both love music, you even sing for his band." Then, the rest of the girls came to join them. They both don't want to drag them into the conversation. Changing the subject.

     At class Tiffany couldn't forget about it. It's not her place to tell him, it's Jennifer. As time passing that conversation you had with Jen it's still in your head. "Tiff? What's wrong you seem awful lot quite today, are you down to sing if not it's okay, I'm not forcing you."  You look up finally got his attention. Both sit down to do a partner assignment for English. "Sorry, there's a lot on my mind lately.  I can't. you know how nervous I get whenever it comes to auditions." He smiles, "That's nonsense Tiff I heard you sing before you'll be amazing, maybe we'll get in because of you." Tiffany gives him a stern look. "Marty." He got scared whenever she looks at him like that as if she's gonna pinch him. "Ohh, Kay then."  Shallowing down his throat. "So, Doc wants me to bring you to Twin Pines Mall tonight. He said he'll be needing some assistance.  I'll explain to you later, he said to meet him at 1:15." Tiffany look at him shocked. "1:15 Marty are you crazy?!" Tiffany whisper yelled. The teacher starting to hush the both of you. "I'm sure he'll explain more tonight." You still have him that look he's afraid of.

    After school Marty was off to auditions for battle of the bands. Stephanie needed to tell Paige about Jennifer and Marty at Town Square. "Paige I'm telling you Jen might lead him on like she's  afraid to break up with him."

    "Tiff, you can't tell him yourself. Jen is supposed to tell him herself." The two girls kept walking. Till you meet up with Marty, Stephanie see that he's getting upset, Jennifer tried her best to calm him down. The both of you try not to eavesdrop. "Jennifer I thought we had something?" Almost choking up that tears are almost coming out of his eyes. Clearly Jennifer senses that there is something missing in their relationship and it was wrong for her to stay. "Sorry, Marty we can just be friends?" She suggested, as for the best. The car in front of them her dad calling out her name. "-I have to go, bye Marty." Jennifer gets picked up, Jennifer was calm about the breakup. She didn't want to hurt him, she knew what she wanted. Paige got picked up. Leaving you and Marty you sit next to him. "Marty?" Her face saddens. "Tiff she broke up with me." She never seen him cry, usually she would cry and gives you advice. She Apologizes to him about it. "No, you don't have to be sorry. I know you're wondering if I made it to the auditions. I didn't make it they said, "I was too loud." Can't even play a damn gig in front of everybody." Looking down moping around. Stephanie couldn't see him like this. "Marty are you serious? Your great. I have seen you play a millions of times even Paige sees it. You're just not having a positive mindset. It's only one rejection, You give it your all after a couple of auditions I'm sure some record company will like you. What does Doc always say to us?"  He knows what she's saying but, he's not doing it. "He, says if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything. What if they don't like me "Kid you got no future." Jesus. I'm starting to sound like my old man." She doesn't like it when he's comparing himself and his parents..  "Marty you always told me history is gonna change. You're not gonna be like your dad." Yet he's checking out other girls and eyeing the Toyota 4x4. Rolling your eyes, is he even listening to what your saying? Lifting his chin up so he can look at her. "Check out that 4x4. That is hot, maybe someday. Would it be great cruising around with that truck?"

    "Does your mom know that were going to meet Doc at 1:15?" Raising your brow. "Nah get outta town, I'm sneaking out. I'm gonna stop by your window tonight." Stephanie gonna be in huge trouble but, both of her parents are out of town for work. "Last time you sneak out of my house ya almost sneak into my parents room. You're lucky your still alive that I caught you and didn't see you. The last time we meet up with Doc."  She sees that there are no longer tears in his eyes she made him laugh. "My mother would freak that I'm still hanging around with Doc and remember that one time you stayed in my room to do homework and the door was closed. My mom swang my door open, to see if we were doing anything." He laughs, Stephanie laughing along with him. Nudging her and she nudge him back. Stephanie make him look at her again. "She's just making sure your not a dog."  Shocked he jokingly offended by what you just told him. "What you think? I'm no dog if anything I respect women, Einstein is an actual dog."  She chuckles a little. "You know what I mean." She just want him to notice her. He  couldn't tell him at the moment since, Jennifer just broke up with him

    The clock lady came over to us ruining our moment. "Save the clock tower. Mayor Wilson is sponsoring an initiative to replace that clock." Marty and Stephanie look behind looking at the clock tower. She really gonna bringing up the back story. "Thirty years ago, lighting struck that clock tower, and the clock hasn't run since." Stephanie places a quarter for the Donations fund. "We at the Hill Valley Preservation Society. Think it should be preserved exactly the way it is, as part of our history and heritage. Stephanie just stood there smiling at the lady. Marty hoping she would get away. Adding another quarter, "There you go lady, here's another quarter." The lady smiles and thanks the both of us. "Don't forget a flier." Handing us a flier. "Right." Marty slightly waving the flier good bye to the lady. "What were we talking about?" They both stood up.

    "Meeting Doc tonight, I'll get ready around 12 and maybe I'll stop by your place to wake your ass up before Docs even calls you." Stephanie says. He suggested to pick you up. God he would be asleep at that time. She thought. "Marty I know you, you won't be awake by then."

"Just stay at my place for a bit, your parents are not gonna be home." 

"Okay, I'll go with that but I'm still gonna stop by at my house after dinner."

    The sun is now going down as the both of you went to his place. Seeing the truck is totaled. Biff is still messing around with Mr. McFly. "Hi Son, Hi, Stephanie." The McFlys don't mind having Stephanie. "Dad, Stephanie is gonna stay for a bit." His dad ignores him. Biff wouldn't pay for the damage he cause the truck and that Mr. McFly should pay for the dry cleaners. Oh Biff is such an asshole. Stephanie thought.

With that Tiffany and Marty disapproving how Biff is treating his dad. Seriously he's just gonna let him do all the work as if it was like homework. He's looking at Marty and you smirking and Marty gives a sarcastic smile. Then Biff is checking Stephanie out, Marty pulls her closer. Still looking at him. Grabbing a light beer. "What are you looking at butthead? Say hi to ya mom for me." Stephanie was so uncomfortable, "Ugh!" So disgusted by him.

    "Sorry, you had to witness this Stephanie." Mr. McFly looking at her then to Marty. "I know what your gonna say, son. And you're right. But, uh Biff just happens to be my supervisor. And I'm afraid I'm just not very good at confrontations." All Marty gonna bring up about the car.

    Marty ignoring you, "He wrecked it, totaled it, Do you have any idea how important this was to me? Do you have any clue?" Mr. McFly apologizes to him. "Marty." Stephanie nudge him. "- Now is not about the car." His dad Inviting you for dinner. Mr. McFly. Offers the both of you peanut brittles the both of the teenagers shake their head no. Marty's Uncle Joey didn't make Parole again. Throws the cake on the table. Linda (Marty's sister) mentioned about being embarrassed with having an uncle in Prison. Dave (Marty's brother) and his dad was telling him to not have any headaches, Dave rushes to work and kisses his mom. Linda spoke up, "I'm no love expert but, you over here pouting over the car and Jennifer Parker." Mrs. McFly says, she doesn't like her. Marty checking his watch. "Any that calls or spend her time around boys is asking for trouble." Mrs. McFly said. "Oh, Mother there's nothing wrong with being around a boy. Come on Stephanie, spends her time around Marty. Surprise their not even dating yet." Stephanie and Marty widen both of their eyes. Looking at each other. Mrs. McFly continues, "That's terrible girls chasing boys! When I was your age." Looking at Marty and Stephanie. "I never called a boy or sat in a parked car with a boy. Stephanie it's not worth it." Linda asks her, "Then how am I ever supposed to meet anybody?"

    "Well, it'll just happen. Like when I met you're father." Linda said it was so stupid and that their grandpa hit Mr. McFly hit him with the car. Apparently that Mr. McFly was "Bird watching" in the middle of the street. Mr. McFly just continues to watching T.V. Mrs. McFly pours her self a drink. Bringing, Mr. McFly to her house as if he was innocent, helpless like a lost puppy. Linda heard this a bunch of times that she's sick of it. Mrs. McFly keeps going. "- It was the "Enchantment Under The Sea" dance. Our first date I'll never forget it. It was the night of that terrible thunderstorm remember, George? Your father kissed me on that dance floor. It was then that I realized that I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him." Mr. McFly his full attention is on the T.V. Stephanie with a palm up her hand. smiling after listening to their story, Marty is looking at you as if you are crazy. "What, Marty I love school dances and you're parents story sounds romantic." Smacking him. Linda laughs between the two of you, even she knew your crush on him. Marty smacking you back. He then walks you after home and get your clothes and change, then they both sneak through his window.

Next Chapter

[getitinbusan]

September 1st

Happy Birthday Jungkookie!

The balcony doors were open and a cool breeze drifted through the bedroom. Lazy days with Jungkook were rare, even when he was on a break he was always up to something. It had reached noon but you were both still laying in bed scrolling mindlessly through your phones when you brought it up. "You're going to be 23 soon, I think we should have a big party" He put his phone down and rolled into your side, "I was thinking about going to Jeju," he said matter of factly. "Oh, am I invited?" you asked smiling. "I was going to invite everyone, my family, the guys and yes," he giggled, "I guess you can come too. Would that be okay?" Running your fingers through his messy hair you pushed it back out of his face and nodded. "You shouldn't have to plan your own party Jungkook, we can do it together" 

You had a week to figure things out, guests,  accommodations, food. A party was one thing but coordinating a destination get together in a few days was a crazy undertaking. 

You really wanted Kookie to have the best time and just be able to relax and enjoy himself, he however, wasn't being very co operative. Everytime you asked questions he shut you down, if you brought it up he brushed you off. He was downstairs at the gym when you came across his to do list. 

Call and confirm guests✔ 

Book Flights✔

Book Hotel ✔ 

Schedule Dinner and party space✔

Reserve private beach✔

*do not forget to pick up the package*

Puzzled as to why these were already checked off as done you messaged Joon. 

Y/N: Hey Joon, I just wanted to invite you to Kookies party in Jeju. Are you down? 

Joon: Yep, already confirmed with JK last week.  

Y/N: What kind of cake do you think I should get? 

Joon: I thought that the guys were taking care of the cake? Don't worry about anything,  I think everything is already organized.  

Y/N: Oh… okay,  thanks. 

Flopping on the couch you couldn't help but feel left out. You heard Jungkook's key turning in the lock, the door squeaking open announcing his arrival. He was looking through his phone while he dropped his bag on the floor. "Hey Babe, Joon said you messaged him about the party? He walked over to where you were sitting. He tapped your nose with his finger, "I've already taken care of everything so all you have to do is pack" 

Feeling disappointed your face fell into a frown. "Jungkook, I just wanted to take care of you for once, to be able to contribute a little." He looked flustered, "I'm sorry Y/N, I just didn't want to burden you with it." Upset you stood up, "I can't believe you would think that throwing you a party would be a burden on me Jungkook… it makes me feel useless," your statement trailed off as you walked away to your bedroom.

Tae was your closest confidante and you knew he'd tell it like it is.  

Y/N: I know I'm probably overthinking and being too sensitive but I'm sad Tae.. 

Tae: What's wrong love? 

Y/N: If Guk doesn't think I'm capable of throwing him a party…this is so stupid… but he certainly can't think I'd be able to take care of him as a wife… it's been two years Tae we've never even discussed marriage. Does he think of me that way at all? 

Tae: Noooo Y/N,  he loves you so much. You are totally over reacting. Please, just don't make an issue of this, it's his birthday. 

You didn't know but in the other room Jungkook was busy texting Jin.  

JK: I don't know what to do Y/N is mad at me for not letting her help with the party. 

Jin: Just make up a job and get her to do it. 

JK: That's Brilliant!!  Thank you.  

He made a quick call, arranging that you would be picking up the last to do on his list, the package. He pulled the bedroom door open and lay down beside you, "I'm sorry, I've been keeping a secret from you." You set down your phone giving him your full attention. "Junhyung is going to propose to his girlfriend, he swore me to secrecy, that's why I've been planning everything, so she won't find out." You felt your temper rise, "Are you fucking kidding me?  You finally get your birthday off, you haven't had a personal party for years and your brothers using it to propose to his girlfriend all while making you plan it for him?" Jungkook laughed, "It sounds kind of shitty when you put it that way. It's really not that big of a deal Y/N, I'm happy he wants to share it with everyone." How could you fault him for wanting to help his family? He was such a giving person and it was part of the reason you loved him so much. "If you really want to help there's one thing left that you can do." 

It was all set, the flight was leaving at 3pm and you had been tasked with picking up the box and keeping it safe until the party. Arriving at the jeweller the older man greeted you kindly. "Would you like to see it?" he opened the iconic tiffany blue box while you nodded. It was a beautiful square cut diamond on a vintage white gold band, it was breathtaking. "The gentleman took a long time deciding on this particular ring, he said it had to be perfect. What do you think?"  Your heart was aching in your chest, lately you found yourself daydreaming about marrying Jungkook, him placing a ring just like this on your finger. "She's a lucky girl, I'm sure she's going to love it." It's not that you weren't happy about the engagement, you were just completely full on green with envy jealous. They haven't even been together a year and Junhyung is already confident enough in her to propose.

You knew you were being an idiot, Jungkook loved you, you lived together, he always made sure your needs were met but here you were upset because she was getting a ring first. Taking the box you snapped the little lid closed and put it into your purse for safe keeping. Enough, you needed to stop thinking about yourself. It was Kooks birthday and it was time to think of him and what he wanted, but what do you get someone who has everything? Wandering around you came across a neon lit sex shop, perfect! Three days away, three new sets of sexy lingerie and a bag full of goodies.  Maybe you didn't get to plan the party but you could make sure he had a few extra surprises.  

It was a short smooth flight and you were amongst the last to arrive.  Making your way to the suite to change for dinner Jungkook flung himself down on the bed, "I'm calling dibs on the first shower!" you called out. You got ready putting on the new black lace thong set, loose black mini sundress over top and wrapped your hair into a messy bun.  Exiting the bathroom you found Jungkook in the same position on the bed snoring lightly. Crawling on top of him, you pulled back his bucket hat to reveal his closed eyes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close for more. "You need to get up babe" he hummed softly into your neck, "that's the problem, I am up," he moved your hand to his bulge. Placing his hands on your ass he could feel the lace under your dress and he let out a needy moan, "Jungkook we need to go, everyone's waiting" he pouted, "but it's my Birthday." Getting off of him and laughing you couldn't help but throw it in his face, "Yes, and if I had planned this party I would have pushed dinner back so the birthday boy could have gotten his dick sucked before hand. You really only have yourself to blame Jungkook" he knew he was defeated so he rolled off the bed and sulked to the shower.  He came out about 20 minutes later skin glowing, tan hanbok pants with a white dress shirt, his hair long and fluffy. "You look amazing Guk," you walked over and hugged him sneaking a kiss onto the side of his neck. "You had your chance Y/N, now we both have to suffer all night" 

You walked hand in hand to the open air dining room where most of your friends and family were waiting at beautiful white rose adorned tables. "Jungkook, did you arrange all these details?" Smiling he nodded, "Did I do good?" That dull ache hit your chest again, yes he did good, he'd planned the perfect proposal… for someone else. You kissed his cheek and lay your head on his shoulder, "I think you've pulled off every girls dream" Trying to hide your melancholy throughout dinner you stayed pretty quiet only offering small smiles instead of conversation. You didn't want to be selfish but you knew in a few hours all talk would be about weddings. The thoughtless question on everyone's lips would inevitably turn to "when are you going to take the plunge?" It usually happened at family gatherings, you'd watch them corner Jungkook and he'd awkwardly explain that one day when his career wasn't so busy you'd be able to think more clearly about it. You hated how calculated of a decision marrying you would have to be for him. Seeing how romantic he could be with the laid out gestures before you, made you question why he could do it for someone else but not you? Maybe he didn't think you were the one? Like he could hear your inner thoughts he put his hand on your thigh under the table, "What's going on, is everything ok?" He asked quietly. "Just thinking about getting you back to the room later, that's all." He kissed your cheek but you knew he didn't believe you. He seemed a little out of sorts himself, maybe this whole situation had him questioning your future as well. 

"I think maybe we need a minute to talk Y/N, let's go while everyone's finishing." He took your hand and lead you away from the group  towards a private area of the beach. Sitting down in the sand he motioned for you to sit in between his legs in front of him. You sat with your back against his chest, head on his shoulder and he put his arms around you. The sun was beginning to set into a light shade of purple and orange, "I want to know why you're sad," he said it like he knew the answer but needed confirmation. "I just wish that this party was only for you, for your birthday, that it wasn't about engagements…" you were trying hard to not sound jealous but he could see through you. "How about you tell me the truth?" He kissed the top of your head. Reaching into your purse you pulled out the box and handed it to him. "This, this is what's bothering me. Jungkook…do you think that you'll ever want me to be your wife? Do we want the same things?" His arms still around you he held the box in front of you and opened it slowly, "It sure is a beautiful ring," he said. You closed your eyes, knowing it wasn't for you, "it really is," you answered softly.  

"Do you really not know what I want Y/N? I love you more than anything in this world. The only thing I wanted for my birthday this year was to bring you here, to sit on this beach with my arms around you and to propose with this ring. So… you tell me, do we really want the same thing? Will you marry me?" Absolutely 100% shocked you turned to him, "Are you joking with me Jungkook?" you hit his shoulder. He laughed, "I think I know better than that" still skeptical you asked, "So all of this was a lie? You really made me carry around my own engagement ring all day thinking it was for someone else?" His grin gave away the fact that he was pretty pleased with himself, "No, you haven't said yes yet so technically it's still not yours." You crashed your lips into his as he pulled you back on top of him in the sand, "Yes"

Walking back to the restaurant the tables had been moved and outdoor furniture and candles had taken their places. Everyone was chatting and drinking until they noticed your arrival, silence fell and eyebrows raised waiting for the news. "Of course she said yes!" At Jungkook's declaration everyone cheered and the waiters came out with trays of champagne as the boys carried out a large white cake adorned with sparklers. The rest of the night was perfect, you danced in the sand as guests slowly filtered out back to their rooms for the evening. Looking around, you realized it was just the two of you left, lost in your own world. "Maybe we should call it a night?" you said. "Maybe, but I don't really want this moment to end" he responded with a kiss. "Maybe… you forgot what I'm wearing under this, and that it's also your birthday, and that I still haven't given you your gift" He grinned and pulled your hand leading you back to the room. 

You left him waiting on the bed as you got ready in the bathroom. Finally revealing yourself,  you were fully naked, he whined "Babe what happened to the lingerie, I mean you're beautiful naked but… " you cut him off "But I'm not naked, I'm wearing this beautiful ring. It also just so happens that I bought you a ring too" you threw him the little black bag and he pulled out his gift. He blushed, "Oh mines a little bigger, and silicone and definitely not church appropriate." Cocking your eyebrow at him you added, "And it vibrates too. Happy Birthday Baby"