#I've seen too many terrible takes to let this go I'm sorry

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Fandom's Takes On Trauma Are Terrible And Here's Why: brought to you by terrible Coriolanus Snow and Anakin Skywalker discourse

I've been on the verge of making this post for a while now, but I kept not doing it because this might be a bit of a hot take and I don't like offending people. However, I've been growing increasingly annoyed with the perception of one specific character type so lets see how much my dumb opinions stir the pot this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This will be focused mainly on my current main fandom: The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes, as well as Star Wars. You'll see why. Now, I need to make it clear that I'm not judging anyone for their opinions on characters for any reason. In no way am I insinuating you're a bad person for having opinions different to mine or that you’re not allowed to have them. What I am saying is that fandoms have some frustrating and frankly insulting beliefs around trauma and those who survived it, and I'm gonna talk about it because I want to get this off my chest. With that said:

Y'all don't understand how trauma works and it annoys me

As stated in the title, I'm writing this because of the Coriolanus Snow discourse, specifically regarding whether he's a good or bad person. Lets rip off the bandaid straight away: He's a bad person. There's no question about it, Snow is a vile human being. And he's one of my favorite characters because of it. He's fantastically written and hands down one of the most realistic, viscerally terrifying yet utterly pathetic villains ever. And what I hate about the TBOSAS fandom more than anything (aside from how some of them treat the actors) is the way they take away all his agency in the story. But I'll put a pin in that because I have a lot to say about him and instead start at the beginning of my growing frustration with how fandom perceives trauma (feel free to skip through this post, I'll label my sections in case you don't wanna read this whole thing). There's two sides, and both are equally stigmatized and wrong. So lets start with the more obvious one through the lens of Anakin Skywalker.

The Star Wars Fandom's Weird Relationship With Traumatized Children Behaving Like Traumatized Children

So Anakin Skywalker AKA Darth Vader is pretty explicitly a Bad Dude who's done some Bad Things. Bro committed genocide, ain't no getting around that, except... It's a little more complicated. Sure, he did all those terrible things, but a lot of people take that to mean he was always a horrible monstrous big bad in the making who was destined to become the galaxy's worst nightmare. That's missing the whole point of the prequel trilogy, because those movies essentially serve to explain all the reasons for Anakin's descent into villainy, and he had surprisingly little hand in it. Growing up into slavery means he not only has a warped view of the galaxy thanks to all the horrors he's witnessed, it also means he lacks the teachings Jedi younglings get when they grow up in the temple. He was pawned off onto Obi-Wan who had only recently been knighted and was in no way ready to raise a child, and became "friends" with Palpatine who fed him all sorts of lies to manipulate him into becoming little more than an attack dog. Not exactly ideal circumstances for a child in their formative years. Did Anakin shirk the Jedi's rules? Yes. Did he do dumb stuff? Yes. But he was a traumatized teenager, of course he's acting out. When he massacres the Tusken Raiders, it's Padme Amidala who reassures him it was the right thing to do. He felt guilty about it, so this idea that he's some apathetic monster from the second he's born is dumb. It's not that Anakin was born wrong, it's that the people around him either failed to help him go down the right path or were actively trying to push him down the wrong one. Anakin never fully grasped the Jedi's ideals, because the person meant to teach him just wasn't equipped to do so. If he'd had someone to teach him how to get a hold of his emotions, distancing himself enough from them to make the best possible decision and helping him understand the importance of letting someone go when you have to, he wouldn't have fallen to the dark side the way he did.

Anakin did terrible things, but blaming it on him just having an evil heart shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how people's environments change who they are. A life in slavery, where he was not allowed to have anything and risked losing what he held dear at any second with no control over it likely caused him to be very possessive of what he held close to his heart once he did have some control over what he kept and lost. Shmi died because he wasn't there to protect her (in his head), so he clung to the people he loved so he could save them the way he couldn't save his mother. Palpatine actively groomed him, if you think that didn't have any effect on him I don't know what to tell you. Throughout the war, he constantly lost people he was close to. That control he had slowly starts to fade as Ahsoka leaves and he starts having dreams about Padme dying. He does everything to save her, only to find out she betrayed him (in his mind, a thought quite likely influenced by PTSD as well). I can tell you that believing one of the few people you trust has betrayed you can make you act very impulsively. Anakin made an impulsive decision and regretted it for the rest of his life. He wasn't born a monster, the world turned him into one.

However, that does not excuse his actions. It explains them and spreads the blame to more people, but his actions are still his actions. Anakin separated himself from his past because of all the pain it brings him, and in doing so he did a lot of bad things. And he still needed to face consequences for those actions, even if the events that led up to them aren't necessarily on him entirely. If he'd gotten therapy, he wouldn't have choked Padme to death. Possibly he wouldn't have attacked the temple. But he didn't, and he did all those things trauma or not. I have major issues with the way some Anti-Anakin parts of the Star Wars fandom insist on ignoring or writing off his trauma, but that doesn't mean I'm absolving him of all guilt.

An explanation is not an excuse, and that sentiment brings us to the reason for this little rant:

Coriolanus Snow's defenders have a habit of infantalizing trauma survivors and I wish they would stop

Oh Snow, how your amazing character completely flew over the heads of most of your loyalest fans. I'm joking, obviously, but also... It's not exactly wrong. Now, I need to make this clear: I'm not insulting Snow fans here. I'm kind of one of them (I hate his guts but I love how he was written, it's a love hate relationship). However, the way people talk about his trauma... I'll be honest, it's kind of sickening for reasons I'll talk about later after getting through the technical(?) stuff. Where the way people view Anakin disgusts me, the way people treat Snow disturbs me. Because people view The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes as if it's some typical tragic villain backstory that humanizes and in some ways justifies who he became, to show what changed him from a normal person into a monster. It's not. It actually shows that Snow has always possessed the traits that made him the monster we know from the OG series. What it does is explain why specific things were so important to him and how he grew to lose all redeeming qualities, letting the worst aspects of his personality grow and take over until it's all there's left of him.

What made Snow do stuff like poison political adversaries and constantly beat down the districts so they don't rebel? A thirst for power. A thirst he's always had, born from the feelings of entitlement he held thanks to his family's previous status. He deserves that power in his mind, so he'll do anything to get it. Power, control, and influence are his driving motivators. It's at the back of his mind throughout TBOSAS, and by the time he becomes a gamemaker it's the only motivation he has left. Those traits, the things that pushed him to do what he did, they were always there. There was just more stuff to cover it up. Stuff that fell away with time. Snow is a terrible person, but people pretend he's some poor misunderstood baby who just needed a hug because... why? Because he has trauma. And that's the root of the problem. Does he have trauma? Absolutely. He survived a war, he lost his parents, struggled through poverty while being raised by propaganda from the Capitol and was arguably groomed by Gaul. Sound familiar? It's kind of like Anakin. Horrible childhood filled with loss, less than amazing figures raising him and grooming. Except people use the opposite argument for him which is equally wrong: he's traumatized, so we cannot blame him.

Yes we can.

Trauma does not justify your actions. It might explain them, but you are still accountable for your own actions. Snow murdered people, starting with Bobbin, and every single time it was his choice to do so. It doesn't matter why he made that choice, because he still did it. He ruined countless lives and ended nearly as many, both directly and indirectly. No amount of trauma justifies that. I've seen people claim he's just an anxious young boy who's a poor victim of circumstance, and anyone who doesn't believe so is simply unable to separate the actions of an 80-something-year-old from the 18-year-old, but... No. That's one of the most braindead takes I've ever heard, I'm sorry. Snow hadn't committed the crimes of his older self yet, but the behaviors he shows in TBOSAS are the ones that led him to doing so later on and ignoring that is just stupid. I don't need to judge Snow based on his later actions to call out how fucked up he was in TBOSAS. Again, he chose to murder several people and deluded himself into believing he was justified. That's what makes him a great character. Bad people always believe, on some level, that they're doing the right thing. It's fascinating. But people take his words at face value when he says he's doing the right thing, and the whole point is that he's wrong. He's lying to himself. Because that's what people do sometimes. Snow's family was knocked off its throne, and Snow clung to the idea that the districts are beneath him and at fault to cope with that. He deluded himself into believing Gaul's dumbass theory to justify continuing the games.

It's the exact opposite of Anakin Skywalker: Trauma is relevant, it does inform your perspective on the world and your actions, but it does not mean you can do no wrong. Snow had every chance to be a good person: Knocking Bobbin out or running away instead of murdering him, joining the rebellion with Sejanus, staying in district 12 with Lucy Gray and being honest with her. But he killed Bobbin. He fucked over the rebels and got Sejanus killed. He lied to Lucy Gray and destroyed any chance he had with her. Every chance he got, he threw into the fire without hesitation. Anakin leaned into being a bad person to forget the past, Snow chose to be one because it benefitted him the most. Neither of them are excused because of their trauma, their descent into villainy is simply explained. You know why? Because both of them created new victims. Snow was complicit in the murder of hundreds of children before becoming responsible for thousands more, he killed people with his own hands and ruined several lives over the course of TBOSAS. All that pain he caused isn't erased because we can explain why it happened. Even at 18, Snow has many things he should be held accountable for. War, being an empoverished orphan, being groomed, none of that nullifies the shit he's done. People who say Snow's just an anxious, young, traumatized boy are one side of the horseshoe theory of the myth of "the perfect victim". The "Anakin's Trauma Should Be Ignored Entirely" crowd are the other side. Which brings us to...

It's all horseshoe theory

To conclude the analytical part of my post, I'll bring it back to what I briefly mentioned in the intro to all of this. Agency. That's the running thread here. Both in cases like Anakin and cases like Snow, the fandom takes away all agency a character has in the story for the sake of justifying one's feelings about them. Anakin was born a monster and he was always destined to be evil. It wasn't the trauma, it wasn't the events of the story, he's just bad. On the other hand, Snow is a good person who was made to do terrible things by his trauma. It's all the trauma and nothing else. His bad childhood caused him to be this way and it has nothing to do with his own worst personality traits. See the connection? In both these instances, the characters had no influence over who they became. With Anakin, nothing could've had any influence because he's just born wrong. With Snow, it's everything around him that shaped him into who he was. Both scenarios completely ignore the character and focus on external factors to explain everything. One demonizes trauma victims by saying those that went off the rails are just bad people and there's nothing to be done about it, the other infantilizes trauma survivors by saying they shouldn't be held accountable for their actions just because they have trauma and it's only when they're older and should know better that we can bring consequences down on them.

Victims of trauma should be held accountable, though. The only thing the presence of trauma should change is what kind of accountability. Merely locking them up won't change anything, they should receive help to work through their problems while residing in a place where they cannot hurt anyone else. Including themselves. That is what acknowledging trauma is useful for. But this? This is doing nothing but stigmatizing trauma survivors even more than they already are, and I hate it. And you wanna know why I hate it? Because I've been both sides of this horseshoe, and it nearly got me killed.

The part where I talk about my Tragic Backstory(TM) to explain why this bothers me so much

This'll be a little heavy, so while I'm not gonna go into detail I advise you to please be careful. If you're not in the headspace to handle talk about actual real life mental health issues, feel free to stop reading here. I'm putting this at the end for a reason. If you really wanna know why people's perspective on Snow disturbs me but don't wanna risk getting triggered, skip to the last bold line in this post.

Without going into detail, I've dealt with some pretty big mental health issues throughout my life. One of them is PTSD, so believe me when I say I understand that trauma can heavily influence one's actions in ways even they don't understand. But I had to learn the hard way that there's a difference between explaining and excusing. I used to believe that, because of my previous experiences, I was entirely justified in doing what I was doing. Kind of. At that point, I didn't know that what I was experiencing was PTSD, but I did feel justified in my actions the same way Snow does. I explained every bad thing I did away and wrote it off as nothing or sometimes even as a good thing. Granted, I never did anything as big as committing murder, but I don't live in a country as dark and horrible as Panem so we'll chalk it up to that. As I grew older, I started to recognize the ways in which I accidentally hurt the people around me, and eventually had the realization that my past does not in fact justify the pain I was causing people entirely uninvolved in what happened to me. They had nothing to do with that, and shoving all my pain onto them the way I did was wrong. My view of myself pivoted to the other side of the horseshoe. If I'm not justified, am I... am I bad? Am I evil? Am I just born wrong?

I don't know how to explain this to anyone who hasn't gone through this themself, but that is a horrible feeling to have. To feel like you're just bad and there's nothing you can do about it... It kills something inside of you. A hope, a will to keep going and keep trying. Why bother when you cannot be fixed? I've lost the will to live at two points in my life, and that was one of them. And now I get to see both of these mentalities be repeated by dumbasses who don't understand the first thing about trauma. It's... not fun. It's grating and aggravating in a way I can't accurately bring across with just my words. It makes me wanna scream and laugh hysterically until I cry.

Here's the thing: I relate to Snow, and the way people perceive him disturbs me on a visceral level.

As I said, I justified my own bad behavior the same way he does. I convinced myself I was a blameless poor victim who had no hand in their actions. But just like Snow, I did. Not nearly as much as I would have liked, but I did. I learned to control the defensive mechanisms my trauma gave me, and I grew from it. Seeing people defending Snow with the same arguments that kept me from ever getting over what happened to me, crying out that he's just traumatized so none of it's his fault... it disturbs me. Because they're outsiders who should be able to see the pain he caused others and realize that nothing changes the fact that he did that. But they don't. They're me, without any of the personal stakes that kept me trapped in my own delusions. It's all just fiction, and I know that, but it hits just a little too close to home for my comfort. It's a little too raw and a little too real for me to just let it go and move on again like I always do.

I'm sorry for the rant, I didn't mean to make this post this long but I guess I hope you find something of interest in here that made it worth reading? Have a nice day 💜

[woncon]

➳ sick duty.

➶ poly!ateez x gn!reader (yungisang focus) ｡˚ °

-ˏ` ✎﹏ Yunho is sick, and you and Yeosang are on sick duty. When the others still haven't arrived with jelly, you decide to go to the nearest shop in the raging storm and buy some, because Yunho really wants them.

➴ genre: slice of life, sickfic, estabilished relationship, polyamory, non-idol!au

: ̗̀➛ warnings: yungisang focus, but everyone gets screen time, poor yunho has a fever, one sexually suggestive offer, petnames, nudity

⌨ :: 3.5K words ♡ ︵ . .

⁀➷ This idea came to me when I saw a double rainbow in early June while listening to Golden Hour Pt1. It was supposed to play in the summer, but I never got to the end. Now autumn came and I decided to write it. But in this rainy, gloomy weather it seemed better to set it in a more autumnal setting. That changed my basic idea a lot, but I'm happy with it as it is.

⁀➷ My lovely @wonsheep, I'm still sorry the rain poured on you so heavily on Wednesday. :( But it was very motivating, as you can see. Many thanks for reading through the story and founding my silly mistakes!

➳ mlist

I'm hot.

I want tea.

I'm cold.

The sickly season of the autumn-winter months spares no one. Yunho, who is hard to dislodge from whatever well-endowed giraffe's legs he has, is now curled up in the middle of the bed, disconsolate because he didn't pull on a thick enough scarf, or was carelessly underdressed in the living room, or simply spent too much time around a co-worker who has been lurking with some virus. Whichever the case, the poor guy is in a terrible mood.

"I want medicine," he whispers his next wish.

You look at your watch.

“One more hour before you can take the next one,” you say, brushing his hair away to touch his sweat beaded forehead. It's still as warm as underfloor heating.

Frustrated, he rolls to the side and buries his head fully into the pillow. You drop your hands back into your lap, helpless. It's simply exasperating to watch him suffer, to listen to his snotty, ragged breathing mix with the rain beating against the window.

“Do you want something to help?” you ask, when he turns to you again and raises his feverish eyes to you. The skin around his nose is flushed from all the blowing.

“Jelly.”

Yunho is convinced that jelly sweets can help him. Or at least when he's sick, he likes to eat sweets. Other times, not so much. Unfortunately, you guys weren't prepared for Yunho being sick in the near future. Plus, there's a storm brewing, the kind you haven't seen in a long time. It's been raining steadily for a week now, sometimes more, sometimes less. The others went to do the shopping with the car, leaving Yunho behind with the promise to bring him some jelly. He responded with a small, grateful smile.

Now, looking at his tortured expression, you would give a lot to see that smile again, the hope in his eyes. You reach out and take his hand. You sigh. Gently, slowly, you caress the back of his hand, knowing how sensitive he is to touch when he has a fever. You don't want to overdo it and hurt him, but at the same time you want to let him know physically that you're there for him.

"It's on the way." You really hope it is. The last time Jongho called, they were already at the checkout. Your youngest friend boasted that they were bringing five full bags of jelly beans. That was about twenty minutes ago. No news since then. It bothers you that you can't offer an immediate solution to Yunho's every wish.

Before Yunho can ask any more questions, the door opens. Yeosang arrives with a tray holding a steaming mug and something wrapped in napkins that you can't identify yet. With cautious steps, he moves to the other side of the bed among some discarded clothes - because Yunho didn't want to shower this morning, just threw everything off the bed he'd chosen as his regular place - and then takes a seat, placing the tray safely on the bedside table, gently moving Seonghwa's half-finished book.

“I've brought the tea," he says to Yunho. "And I found some biscuits to go with it."

Interested, the patient moves up on the pillow, but still looks vulnerable. Yeosang holds the cup in his hand and gives the man small sips. Meanwhile, you get up and gather up the laundry strewn around the bed and take it to the bathroom. On the way, you hear a conversation emanating from the kitchen, from which you hear the word 'jelly bean' clearly spoken at one point. So after throwing the laundry in the hamper, you go to the kitchen instead of the bedroom. The room is filled with the smell of hot water and tea leaves. Mingi is putting away the tea ingredients. The call is already finished, his phone is on the counter.

Originally, Mingi wouldn’t be on sick duty today. Today's subordinates are you and Yeosang, Mingi just didn't want to leave the apartment in this crazy weather and he’s helping you instead. It's not like this sick duty thing is strict in your relationship, and it's set in stone that Mingi can only nurse Yunho on Mondays and Fridays and holidays or anything. That said, there are rules. For example, Mingi usually only needs one nurse when he gets a cold or something more serious, but at such times it is Yunho for most of the time. Then there's Jongho, who, if he falls ill, no matter what the schedule, has all eight of you at his disposal twenty-four hours a day. Or, again, there's Seonghwa, who hides the fact that he's sick until it's too obvious, and you're all freaking out as to why he won't let you take care of him.

Yunho usually hardly gets sick. When he does, even a mild cold will get him down. And when he is ill, he's even fussier than the sick Wooyoung, and only one lover has a hard time coping with his demands. Usually two people are enough to care for him if there are jelly beans nearby. Which, for now, there aren’t.

“Are they on their way home?” you ask Mingi, who's packing honey.��

"It's worse downtown than here," he says. "The traffic's bad. They're just moving towards home inch by inch."

You both look out of the window, and the tapping of the rain remains as unrelenting as the fever that plagues Yunho.

“Is the tea to his liking?”

“I'm sure of it,” you smile at him. Mingi is usually insecure when it comes to Yunho's well-being. You suspect that the boy's illness was a more significant reason for Mingi to stay home than his desire not to get wet. “But you can ask him.”

You return to the bedroom with Mingi at your side. You remind yourself that this room now functions as a ward. The patient is huddled near the edge of the bed, munching on biscuits soaked in tea, so that they don't scratch his throat.

“It's not jelly,” he mutters, then pulls away from Yeosang and lies back on the upholstered cushions.

You look at Yeosang. Your theory is that you're thinking the exact same thing. If jelly beans are the only thing that helps your boyfriend, you'll do anything to get them. You're even willing to go to the convenience store in the pouring rain, because when you are on sick duty, Yunho mustn't lack anything.

"We'll go and get jelly beans," you say. Yeosang nods his head in commitment.

“We'll go?” Mingi looks terrified. “All of us?”

You can't leave Yunho alone in this state. It's a good thing that Mingi is here, in addition to Yeosang and you, ready for action, and not stuck in traffic with the others downtown. 

“No. You stay here with Yunho and look after him.”

Mingi continues to blink. 

“We'll be quick, don't worry, you don't have to multitask. Yuyu will probably fall asleep soon.”

"It's not me I'm worried about," he protests, "You'll get wet and cold."

"The store is not far away. We won't have enough time in the rain to freeze to death."

Yeosang wraps Yunho in a blanket and kisses him on the head.

"Mingi?" The man folded in a burrito addresses the worried individual.

“Yes?”

“Gimme a hug.”

Mingi doesn't resist, but climbs onto the bed, swapping places with Yeosang, who pats his shoulder as he passes. Before you even leave the room, you hear Mingi apologize and ask for Yunho's forgiveness.

Yeosang sticks the umbrella out the door. Just a little to test how much it rains. There's really barely any surface out, but the wind immediately grabs it and tugs it further. He pulls it back in time before the umbrella swings out or the wind wins, and you close the door with a great struggle, which also wants to jump off its hinges from the violent gusts of wind.

“I think this will stay here,” Yeosang says, and then drops the solid black umbrella behind you.

You zip up your raincoat. It occurs to you that maybe Mingi is right, and you'll be so wet you'll get stuck in a puddle of icy water. Yet the idea doesn't discourage you, doesn't make you stay, because Yunho needs the jellies.

Yeosang adjusts his hood, then holds out his hand. You embrace him tightly. You check your wallet stashed in the waterproof pocket one last time and place your hand on the doorknob. Then you push it down. The door swings open, and you let it drag you along with it. The back of your coat gets soaked immediately. The rain doesn't fall, it instead pours down from behind in a wave with the wind. Clinging on to Yeosang in vain, it's hard to keep up your own pace and not lurch forward like a rag doll. It's a wonder your boyfriend can close the door.

Although the shop is indeed a block away, at this time it feels like you're wandering for eternity. For one thing, the scenery is completely different in the rain, it's harder to navigate, especially in the raging, commanding wind. Around one corner, Yeosang has to pull you in, because out of nowhere a car appears, its wheels gallantly splashing a full puddle onto the pavement.

Somehow, you do reach the store. As soon as the automatic door closes behind you, the storm is out of the way. Inside, the weather is pleasant. Only the clothes clinging to your skin and the small puddles and mud stains on the floor left by other shoppers are reminders of what a doomsday is happening outside.

“Huh,” you sigh in relief. The first game of the war against weather is over. You only have one more to go to succeed in the jelly bean mission.

“We're crazy," Yeosang shakes his head in disbelief. Then he smiles up at you, sweetly and lovingly, because he's proud you're crazy. You return it.

Insanity is part of sick duty to some extent. Last time San must have used up thirty tissues a day, and ran out in the middle of the week. Hongjoong ran so fast to replace the used-up packets that he was almost hit by a truck. And when you were sick and craving nothing but a mug of hot tomato soup when all the shops were closed and there were no tomatoes at home, only ketchup... Well, Jongho tried.

You purposefully seek out sweets. Luckily, you don't have to wander around and scout the place, you'll often find yourself here. You take off two bags of Yunho's favourite flavour, sour apple. You remember again how pitiful your otherwise healthy and cheerful boyfriend looks.

“This will help him,” Yeosang says encouragingly, as if he's reading your mind.

You nod, then head for the cashier. You get in line. From here, you can see the window and the rain pouring down.

For the first time since the jelly bean plan was born, you have time to think about Mingi's excuse when he cuddled up to Yunho. It's my fault. I'm sorry. But how could it be his fault that Yunho caught a cold?

You're rewinding the previous two weeks. Yunho was in home office the whole time. He really enjoyed it, and when he wasn't working, he was playing video games. He didn't put his foot out until one time when he had to pop down to the shop for something. It didn't rain so heavily that day, just a gentle drizzle. Maybe Mingi had taken off Yunho's blanket one night? It couldn't be, either, because they'd been sleeping far apart lately.

It's your turn, so you suspend your musings. When you get back, you'll ask Mingi and hope it's not too embarrassing for him not to tell you. If he feels guilty, you could help him and reassure him that it's not his fault.

You and Yeosang pay. You put the bags in your coat pockets. You pull the hood up, not that it matters. You cling together again, then step out onto the soggy pavement. 

The way back is harder. This time the wind brings the rain from the front. Each blast smacks you in the face. Neither of your hoods can stay up. Your hair gets wet, the rain drips under your coat. You successfully step into a puddle, literally splashing in the muddy water, and the inside of your boots get soaked. You're wet everywhere, from your elbows to your toes. It's really annoying, but you don't falter, clutching Yeosang's arm until you reach the sheltering door of your home to drop in like two wet rags on the threshold and with a combined effort you shut out the cold, ominous wind. Yeosang slides along the door, his hair leaving a wet streak on the wooden panel.

“We did it,” he sighs, and proudly rattles one of the jelly beans he pulls out of his pocket. The bag is intact, of course.

“We did,” you agree, and pull him up off the ground.

Suddenly you're faced with the problem of not knowing what to take off first because everything is equally soaked. It's almost as if your clothes are the cool part of your skin, plus outer layers. Finally, following your boyfriend's example, you throw your coat on the floor first, then your shoes on the doormat, and socks after.

Before you reach for the next layer of clothing, there is the sound of footsteps. You think Mingi is coming, but when he sighs, you realize it's not your tall lover.

“You guys are adorable and dedicated, but silly at the same time," says Hongjoong with crossed arms.

“But at least Yunho’s jellies will hold out until he heals,” answers Yeosang, taking off his shirt.

“When did you arrive?” you ask.

“About a minute ago. But we'll talk later. Now go take a shower before you too end up feverishly next to Yunho,” Hongjoong advises, then retreats and San steps forward. He unconcealedly runs his eyes over Yeosang's naked torso, and yours, which still has your shirt stuck to it, rather tightly, so it might even be useless.

“If you get sick, I'll be on sick duty every day. The thing is, the adorable, dedicated, silly people are just my type” he winks.

“Move over, Sanie," Wooyoung appears and nudges the other one in the side, "You promised to help hyung pack up.”

San hums and walks away, but still smiles in your direction. You all love to oblige Hongjoong and Seonghwa, and that goes for when there's an opportunity to flirt as well.

“You two are sexy, all wet,” Wooyoung admits. “If you need help with the shower, let me know. I'll be within earshot.”

“We'll consider it,” you promise. Wooyoung nods with a grin, and he also retreats to the kitchen.

You pass through the hallway, but before you can go to the bathroom, Jongho stands in front of you with a plate of jelly beans. “Here. I thought you should be the ones to give it to him. You made a greater sacrifice, and most of us stayed dry. Except for Hwa hyung, who opened the door and held the umbrella.”

“Thank you,” you say at the same time. While Yeosang takes the bowl, you press a kiss on Jongho's cheek.

When you retire to the bedroom, the scene is quite cozy. Yunho is in bed, hugging Mingi, craving jelly beans, and you offer him what he craves most, and what you fought Mother Nature for.

“We got it,” you report.

Yunho snaps his head up. The mere hope brings life to his sick features. You stand by the bed, careful not to get rainwater on it.

“Here, hyung," Yeosang hands the bowl to him in a soft whisper.

“I hope you weren’t too desperate, baby. We hurried as much as we could.”

“You're the best," says Yunho, touched, between bites. “I love you.”

“We love you too, giant baby. Very much,” you assure him.

And he smiles up at you. The mission is a complete success. Whether all that time and getting soaked was enough to put you to bed remains to be seen. In the meantime, you bask in success.

Mingi sneezes. Then he reaches under the pillow and takes out a handkerchief. “My throat may be a tiny bit scratchy.”

“Should we set up someone on sick duty for you too?” Yeosang offers readily.

“Our poor boyfriends,” you sigh, watching them. Yunho in the midst of illness, Mingi as he probably slips into a state of flux.

“I deserve it,” murmurs Mingi, looking ruefully at Yunho.

“Why do you think so?” you ask the question that has been nagging at you for a good twenty minutes.

“When we ran out of milk last week, Yunho and I went to the grocery store... I offered to make out with him in the rain. It didn't rain much, and there was no wind. Still, that's how Yunho got cold.”

"Come on," the other protests hoarsely. He sucks on a jelly bean with great enthusiasm. You wouldn't believe he can taste it. “You offered, I agreed, I could have said no, but I didn't. All in all, it was worth it.”

“Worth it?” Yeosang raises his eyebrows. “You were dying before the jelly arrived.”

"If you haven't kissed Mingi in the rain, you won't understand," he declares, then turns to Mingi. “Want a jelly, princess?

Yeosang and you leave them alone, let them romance each other in the infirmary. Barefoot, you stomp off to the bathroom. You open the door, and a thick, fragrant steam rises from the room. A pleasant warm breeze reminds you how cold you are. You hurry inside. Yeosang closes the door to keep the comforting steam from escaping.

Seonghwa is already drying his hair and got dressed. You look at him expectantly, ready to be reprimanded. But he has no such plans. He takes your face with one hand and Yeosang's with the other. “I am proud of you. Take a bath, then we can watch a movie. We made a whole list while we were stuck in traffic.”

Yeosang hums, you nod in response. Good idea. At this time of year, there's no point in doing anything other than curling up on the sofa together.

You bask in Seonghwa's soft touch until the last moment, and the knowledge that he's proud of you. It's really enjoyable to play good cop, bad cop with Hongjoong, and they don’t scold you twice. Regardless, you need to figure out a way to cheer up that boyfriend of yours who called you adorable, dedicated, and silly all at the same time. 

“So he probably caught it while kissing,” you acknowledge what you've heard by tugging your trousers down after Seonghwa has left you alone.

“Interesting.”

“And understandable. Sounds romantic.”

“Do you want to go back?” Yeosang glances up at you as he pulls towels out of the closet. The look in his eyes is willing. It embarrasses you to know that he would take a single word from you and go back with you into the pouring rain to fulfill that desire.

“I wouldn’t do it in this weather. But, for example, standing in a cool summer drizzle, refreshing after the heat. When me and my partner won’t be so likely to have a fever for a week.”

“Last summer Woo did it with someone. I think it was with Sanie, but I'm not sure. Maybe he caught Hongjoong hyung in a moment of weakness.”

“Really? Is it fashionable to kiss in the rain in our relationship?”

“A bit.” Yeosang undresses completely. 

Your hand is over the laundry basket, you've dropped the last of your clothes in it, yet you don't move. You’re looking at Yeosang. At his naked back, how rainwater is dripping from his hair, onto his delicate muscles. The line of his shoulder blades as his back narrows, ending in the lovely hips you'd hold in your hands for days. And of course you can't neglect his ass or his thighs or his whole being, because once you start looking at him, one part of him is not enough, and the whole of him is overwhelmingly wonderful.

He turns back to you. “Are you coming?”

“Sure.” You follow him into the bath. You take his face in the palm of your hand and kiss him on the lips. “Wooyoung was right.” 

“About what?”

"You're sexy when you're wet," you explain, and at the same time you probably reveal that you were just staring at him.

"He didn't just say that to me, love," he replies, pulling you close. Then he opens the water. The warm, soothing drops fall on your head and drip down your chilled skin. Like rain.

“I have an idea. Let's kiss here like it's raining.”

“Oh,” Yeosang smiles sweetly. His thumb caresses your cheek. “Okay.”

And you shower until the hot water runs out.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hey big fan of your work! I was wondering if you could write about Donna killing a trespasser in front of reader, she becomes really worried that this has upset reader/reader will see her as a monster but it actually really turns the reader on (powerful/protective lady moment ahh), maybe smut if you can! No GP <3

Yess!!! Thank you for your request and your kind words!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :))))

Powerful enough

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Slightly dark themes, smut at the end, Minors DNI, mentions of violence and murder, Donna being Donna, fluff

Word count: 8,404

Summary: Can she really protect you?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“I don't know what I'm doing here, I should be making my dolls,” Donna murmured, letting you take her hand, despite her reluctance.

Opposites attract or so they said. Nonsense, attracted was a too insignificant verb to describe your relationship. In the two years you had been in that isolated house, you had felt many things similar to pure attraction, but with an intensity that made that word not enough.

Still, convincing Donna to leave her house, even for an innocent and invigorating walking around the grounds, was quite a feat.

“You spend all day with your dolls, I think a quiet walk with your girlfriend won’t hurt you, right?” you said amused, giving her repeated kisses on the cheek, to which the brunette protested with a playful movement of her hands.

“Ugh,” she groaned; her grumpy attitude at an all-time high.

A pity that those tender protests were one of the things you adored about Lady Beneviento.

“Going out is fun!” Angie shouted, who seemed much happier with that excursion than her owner.

“Look, Angie is happy,” you commented, blinking petulantly, leaning towards the lady’s shoulder. “Donna, stop being so grumpy, will you?”

“I'm not grumpy, tesoro,” she protested, sighing and looking around. “I just feel helpless to your requests.”

“That's because you love me,” you hissed with a mocking smile, clinging to her affectionately. “Or well, maybe I have some mental powers too.”

“Maybe, you're the most stubborn girl I've ever seen,” Donna teased, stealing a quick kiss on your lips and making your cheeks blush. “What's your goal with this?”

“My goal?” you asked confused. “Well… it doesn't have a goal. It’s just to spend the time and…”

“Spend the time,” the brunette repeated, looking around. “It's terribly cold, (Y/N).”

“You're such a whiner, darling, but don't worry, I'm used to it,” you said with a tone impregnated with malice, but without really being an acid comment. “Let's talk about something.”

“Mm? What do you want to talk about? It's cold,” she said, frowning, uncomfortable since, once again, you managed to convince her not to wear her veil.

After all, she didn't need it, it was still her land. No one dared to go beyond the wooden door, much less the bridge.

It took you a while to convince her to lose her fear of letting the breeze caress her beauty, but over time you had become a true master of conviction. Well, it could be that or that Donna was simply madly in love with you. Either option seemed valid to you.

“Let's see, let's see...” you whispered thoughtfully, looking up at the snowy trees that guarded the Lord’s territory like silent guardians, like a reminder that you were, in some way, safe. “Oh, yes, I've already finished the book you gave me.”

“You read fast,” Donna murmured, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye, resuming her steps, perhaps more calmly than before.

“You know I love adventures,” you said, sighing romantically, finally managing to walk at the same time as her, holding on to her hand, as if you didn't want to let her go. “Hey, let’s go that way,” you said, deviating slightly from the path towards one of the dilapidated cabins.

“That way? Why do you want to go that way?” the lady asked, letting your hand go and tilting her head as she looked at the cabins. “(Y/N), it’s dangerous, something could collapse and…”

“How old are those cabins?” you asked, making your way through the undergrowth surrounding what was once surely a beautiful metal structure, full of flowers.

“Oh, um…” she replied, watching your clumsy steps through the weeds. “Those cabins were here before my family built the house.”

“Interesting,” you commented, nodding slowly and looking for the best place to cross that kind of protection time granted to that place. “Well, if they haven’t collapsed in all this time, I doubt they will now, right?”

“You are definitely stubborn,” the lady whispered, leading you by the arm along a safer path to one of the cabins. “There, a ruined cabin just for you.”

“Great,” you sighed, rubbing your hands together, but showing no sign of imminent freezing.

“Be careful, (Y/N),” Donna whispered as you explored, the thirst for adventure running through your veins.

“Yes, yes…” you said, rolling your eyes and glancing around that desolate cabin. “Who lived here?”

“Josef, the gardener,” the lady said, answering your question in a somewhat hasty way. “He always worked for my family, he even took care of me after…” she whispered, stopping right at the end of the sentence, not wanting to remember all the tragedies she had to live through.

“Donna, calm down,” you said, cupping her face in your hands before an inevitable crisis clouded that wonderful day. “You don't have to tell me, come on, breathe…” you said, doing relaxation exercises you already knew and that luckily, also calmed the inevitable madness of the lady in black.

“I-I'm sorry,” she stammered, regaining her calm gaze and sketching a shy smile. “I've gotten a little nervous.”

“I know, it's okay,” you said, kissing her slowly on the lips, thus finishing to calm her tormented mind. “Come, Angie, let's explore,” you said to the doll, who followed you immediately.

You and Angie walked through that ruined cabin, finding just old books, typewriters destroyed by time and gardening tools, but, nothing interesting, unfortunately.

You were about to give up, to recognize the cold you were going through and tell your girlfriend you wanted to go home, when you noticed an old shed on the side of the cabin.

“Well, well, Donna, come, look at this,” you said as you and Angie peered over a fallen piece of wood that spanned the shed. “Wait a minute…” you sighed, pulling the obstacle and letting it fall into the snow.

“Be more careful, silly!” Angie protested, as she was almost crushed.

“Oops, sorry,” you said with a worried face, enduring the blows of the doll on your shins. “Look at this…”

“Mm,” the lady murmured, frowning and looking into the shed.

Inside the old structure was a sort of miniature of a house with a too convenient path leading down, as if something had to go there. Beneath the model, there were some tightly closed bars, and inside there was a golden glow that immediately caught your attention.

“What’s this?” you asked, studying that miniature house. “Look, it moves,” you said surprised, realizing that you could move the model at will.

“Oh, it's one of the four labyrinths of Norshteyn,” the brunette explained, with disinterest.

“Who?” you asked, scratching your head and looking curiously at the lady. “A labyrinth?”

“Mm,” she murmured in response, approaching the model with a serious look. “In the 19th century, a craftsman named Norshteyn came to the village. They said he was considered a heretic in his country.

You nodded, blinking in curiosity.

“A craftsman?” you asked, running your fingers over that house. “Wow, he was good.”

“It is said that he made them due to the hospitality in the village. He built four labyrinths for each of the noble families of the place, labyrinths that could contain whatever they wanted,” Donna explained, passing her hand next to yours. “The families deposited some of their treasures inside the labyrinth, hoping that no thief could get them.”

“Oh,” you said attentively, trying to open the gate, something impossible. “He certainly did a good job, this is impossible to open.”

“You can pull as hard as you want, tesoro,” she said, amused by your fruitless attempts. “Karl, Alcina and Salvatore have one model too.”

“Of course... the four families, four Lords, it makes sense,” you said amused, studying the mechanism. “Surely he felt satisfied with his job.”

“Not exactly,” the lady corrected, getting closer to your ear. “When he finished the last of them, he blew off his head.”

“Um, what?” you said, scared by the sinister voice that Donna mastered perfectly. “Why?”

“Nobody knows, it is said that he had four wives, and they all died. He couldn't handle the guilt and…” she whispered in a mysterious tone. “There are many stories about him, but the legend said that he sold his soul to the devil to rescue those of the four loves of his life, paying a very high price.”

“A-A price…” you stammered, letting yourself be carried away by that slightly terrifying atmosphere. “Which one?”

“His own life,” she said, with an increasingly sinister tone, surrounding you by the waist from behind, making you swallow. “There are people who say that those souls… live in these labyrinths… the souls in pain of his wives, desperately searching for their lover, for all eternity.”

“Boo!” Angie screamed, coming out from behind the model and making you almost jump into Donna's arms, taking refuge behind her.

“Yiah!” you screamed, your heart beating very hard while the doll laughed, as did her owner. “Donna…”

“What's wrong, tesoro? Did we scare you?” she asked, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to her in a playful way, kissing you quickly.

“Yes…” you reluctantly admitted, crossing your arms, but returning the kisses while the doll laughed satisfied. “Donna, you give me the creeps.”

“It must be the cold,” Donna joked, kissing you for the last time and releasing you from her grip while you, pathetically, tried to regain your composure. “Anyway, you won't be able to open it just like that, it needs a key.”

“A key,” you commented, shaking your dress and squinting at the doll, who was still laughing at the scare she gave you. “What key? Do you have it?”

“I don’t,” she said, arranging your clothes lovingly, rubbing your arms. “It's not just any key, it's a kind of ball that you have to roll along the rails to get it into this hole here, see?” she pointed to a small round hole at the end of the model, and you nodded curiously.

“A ball... I see, well, we'll have to look for it, right?” you said, catching your breath and searching around the model. “You don't know where it is? It belonged to your family, didn't it?”

“Yes, but it's probably lost,” the lady commented, sighing with a victorious smile. “Don't bother looking for it, my grandfather tried several times and didn't find it.”

“Well, maybe I can,” you said enthusiastically. “It could be a good adventure, right? The search for a treasure…”

“(Y/N), let's go home, you're just wasting time,” she said, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Killjoy,” you hissed discreetly. “Come on, Donna, it has to be somewhere…”

“No, besides, it's getting dark, we should go back now,” the lady insisted, crossing her arms.

The cold was already unbearable, and, although you hated to agree with your girlfriend, that time she was right.

“Ugh, okay,” you sighed with a childish grimace. “But I plan to find that key,” you said, raising a finger and letting Donna slide her hand around your waist, guiding you on the way home.

“Mm, I didn't know you were interested in treasure hunts,” she commented with a tender smile.

“Well,” you said in a passive tone. “I've read a lot of similar stories, but I still prefer novels about knights, you know: damsels in distress, dragons…”

Donna laughed, shaking her head and pulling you a little closer to her.

“They are my absolute weakness,” you murmured, fantasizing about your favorite stories. “Especially the part where the brave knight kills the dragon and saves the girl. It must be very romantic.”

“Dragons don't exist,” Donna said in a serious tone, showing you her poor conversational skills, taking everything you said totally seriously.

“Tell your sister,” you said amused, making her shake her head. “The feeling of being saved by a strong and brave knight… it must be great, right?”

“Mm,” she murmured, kissing your hair, not paying too much attention to your fanciful words.

“You know, oh my dear knight, I'm so weak I think I'm going to faint…” you said in a dramatic tone, pulling away and putting a hand on your forehead before doing something stupid, before letting yourself fall to the ground, hoping that she would pick you up in her arms, something that, of course, didn't happen.

“Ouch!” you screamed as you fell to the snowy ground with a thud, glaring angrily at your girlfriend.

“What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?”  the lady said, clumsily helping you up as Angie laughed out loud again. “(Y/N)…”

“Ugh, you were supposed to pick me up,” you whispered, letting yourself be helped and checking to see if you had hurt yourself. “Donna… you didn't save your damsel in distress.”

“Damsel in distress? Cavolo, (Y/N), how do you expect me to know that you were going to let yourself fall?” she protested, checking your condition as well. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I'm fine,” you growled with a childish gesture, pushing the brunette's hands away. “And you, stop laughing,” you said to Angie, who was writhing on the floor.

“You are so silly, silly, silly,” the doll mocked, pointing at you with her finger. “You amuse me.”

“Fine,” you hissed, rubbing your back and noticing an even more penetrating cold. “Brr, I'm going to catch a cold.”

“Don't worry, tesoro, let's go home and take a hot bath, do you fancy it?” Donna suggested with a warm smile, kissing you as an apology.

“Yeah, sounds great,” you said, relaxing your expression and your posture.

 A hot bath next to the woman you loved was certainly a good plan. Your naked bodies warmed in the water as you intertwined in a comfortable, relaxing silence.

With your head on her chest and her arms around your waist, you continued to fantasize, making your mind travel through stories and memories, memories of how you got to where you were, why you were there, next to her.

You were a simple villager in a not so simple village. The Black Gods, the Lords, Mother Miranda… These were things that made the place very different from any other. You knew it, but you didn't give it any importance, at least until you realized what it meant to have all these entities around you.

You were eight years old, you were a little and dreamer girl like any of your friends, running errands for your parents, praying and having fun. One night, when you had to give some tools to your uncle, while you were walking in the dark through the poorly lit streets, you got a scare that would change your life forever.

Miserable rat or idiot, you didn't know how to describe the man who attacked you from the shadows, demanding, under threats, that you give him all your money. You were a child, you were scared and defenseless.

You had never been so afraid, the knife the robber carried shone in the moonlight and you closed your eyes as you cried in terror. It could have been your end, or, at best, stayed in your mind as an insurmountable trauma, but it wasn't.

You never really believed in miracles, that your devotion to dark deities served any purpose, but that night, yes, that night you witnessed your mistake. Just when you gave up, cornered and with your bag of coins already at the mercy of the attacker, some blades shone next to the knife, abruptly pushing that man away from you.

A local hero? A divine intervention? No, a Lord.

The lady of the castle, Alcina Dimitrescu, finished off that robber. She didn't say anything; she simply looked at you, smiled at you and took what was left of that evil man.

Then your vision of the village changed completely. Everyone, your family, your friends, everyone feared the Lords. They saw them as a constant threat. Mother Miranda always insisted that she, as well as the four nobles, protected the village. You didn't believe it before, but you started to.

The rejection and fear that those four shadows caused you silently mutated into an admiration that became increasingly sick. The priestess was right, they protected you. They were in charge of keeping the village at peace, of freeing you from possible threats. It was impossible for you not to believe it, you had lived it.

Stopping seeing the four Lords as a threat to see them as a shield unleashed many thoughts, you even dared to write letters to the lady of the castle, thanking her for her intervention. They could be childish things, but time passed, and your devotion to the four shadows of the village didn’t diminish.

They were your saviors, your protectors, and it almost seemed like you were the only one who saw them that way. Each and every one of them had extraordinary powers, capable of chasing away anyone who dared to poke their nose into the village's affairs, or harm you. They didn't care if you were rich, poor, or who you were; to them, all of your lives were worthy of protection.

Your devotion to these protectors surpassed even rationality, fervently wishing to meet them, admire them, have a moment to talk to them, to thank them for everything they did. Already 20 years old and with a bold and extroverted character, that goal was closer than ever.

What you never imagined was falling in love with one of them, one that you saw off guard to attack with your questions and sick adoration, the lady in black, the doll maker, Donna Beneviento.

The woman in mourning, always silent and mysterious, unwittingly put herself at the mercy of your approach, at the mercy of your exaggerated words of admiration. As much as the Angie doll protested, the lady didn’t move; she simply listened to you.

Thus, with time, you came to see the beauty she hid, to hear her melodic voice speaking to you, incredulous, surprised because you, unlike the others, didn’t fear her. Love arose soon after, and without wanting to, you ended up completely in love with the lady in black, just as her with you.

Maybe she couldn't transform into a dragon, or control metal, but those trifles ceased to be important to you the moment your lips touched hers. Power and strength stopped being your fixation, Donna began to be.

Two years later, your relationship was perfect, harmonious. The fact that she was a Lord, that somehow you felt safe was something you didn't usually think about.

Donna was a strange woman, hurt by a madness no one could remedy, but she was much more than that, much more than the monster everyone talked about. You weren't exaggerating if you said that she was the love of your life.

Your body enjoyed the warmth of the water, the touch against hers, that vaporized silence filling your mind with dreams and memories. As you moved to let her lips kiss your neck, you felt a slight pain in your back, probably due to the fall.

That pain made you grimace in disgust, but it also made your mind move away from the pure love you felt for Donna, asking yourself a series of questions you had never gotten an answer to.

“Mm, Donna,” you sighed, playing with her hand under the water, breaking the calm, but speaking with a velvety, romantic tone. “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure, tesoro,” she whispered, kissing your ear and leaving her kisses for another time, giving you all her attention.

“Hey, who do you think is the most powerful of your siblings?” you asked distractedly, looking at the ceiling as you moved in the water.

“The most powerful?” Donna asked back, with a thoughtful sigh. “Honestly, I wouldn't know how to answer your question,” she sighed shortly after, looking at you out of the corner of your eye. “Why do you want to know?”

“Oh, curiosity,” you said shrugging, lying back on top of her body. “Well, Alcina can transform into a dragon…”

“It's not exactly a dragon, it's a…” the lady interrupted.

“Yes, yes, a mutation, or whatever. Dragon sounds much better than a mutation of a disgusting mold, doesn't it?” you joked, shaking your head.

She laughed too wrapping her arms around your waist, keeping you closer to her, if that was even possible.

“Let's see, Heisenberg can control metal, Moreau is a huge disgusting fish…” you murmured, counting on your fingers. “Honestly, I ask you because I couldn't tell you which one of them is more powerful.”

“Hey, tesoro, aren't you forgetting something?” she said in a mocking tone, frowning and moving your head so you would look at her.

“Mm? Oh, of course you're there too, but you're no use to me for this,” you said without thinking, causing the water to move along with her body, abruptly.

“Why not?” the lady asked with an inquisitive expression.

You rolled your eyes, turning around to face her.

“Donna, honey, you can't transform,” you said softly, calmly caressing her cheek due to her annoyed look. “I'm talking about real powers.”

“I have real powers, I'm as strong as them, even more,” Donna protested, crossing her arms, with a marked accent that betrayed her anger.

“Yes, yes... you make people hallucinate, but, my love, it's not like you're the strongest woman in the world,” you said jokingly, perhaps without too much care.

“Playing with people's minds isn't enough power? I'm telling you I'm as strong as them,” she insisted nervously, to which you caressed her face amused, biting your lip while your hand traveled along the skin of her arm, pinching it mercilessly. “Cazzo! Cosa diavolo stai facendo!?”

“You see, my love? You control minds, yes, but your body is weak, isn't it?” you mocked while she looked at you with resentment, rubbing her injured arm.

“You say I'm weak?” she asked in a brusque tone, terribly offended. “You think so?”

“No, look, Donna, you know that I love you very much, but maybe you wouldn't be the right one to face an imminent danger, right?”

“I'm stronger than you think!” she said, shouting in a very loud voice, making you back up in the tub.

“Okay, then prove it to me, make me hallucinate,” you challenged your girlfriend, approaching her in the water, suggestively crawling up to her body.

“No,” she answered coldly, putting a hand on your bare chest. “I'm not going to do it.”

“Aren’t you? Come on, say that I'm wrong,” you joked, making a gesture with your hand. “I want to see how powerful my girlfriend is.”

“No, (Y/N), I'm not going to hurt you,” she said, shaking her head and hastily going out the tub. “My powers are not a game, (Y/N). I don't care if you think they're useless.”

“Hey, I didn't say that,” you said, reaching out your hand to take hers while she picked up a towel, covering herself with it. “Donna, don't be mad, come here so I can apologize.”

“I have to make dinner,” she said, leaving the bathroom and you, in the bathtub, sighed regretfully.

“But what did I say?” you murmured, scratching the back of your neck and shrugging. “Oh, I must learn to keep my mouth shut…”

Luckily, the tension you caused dissipated over time and the day could end as usual. You had absolutely nothing against the lady, you didn't doubt her powers, in fact, you knew that, whatever she did, no one had dared to enter her property for years, apart from you, of course.

Okay, maybe the lady in black wasn't the strong and invincible Lord you admired, but that wasn't a reason to stop loving her. Strength was not your main goal, especially when you were able to truly meet Donna, when you saw her deformed but amazing beauty, when her whispers, her caresses, made all the hair on your body stand up.

You didn't bring up the subject again, and the next day started like any other, except that, that morning, you woke up with only one goal. You still had that sinister story of the labyrinths in your head, and you dedicated your always lonely morning to looking for some information around the house.

Your thirst for adventure was insatiable, even wandering alone through the halls of the mansion was an epic feat for you. Donna never minded you rummaging through her stuff, through her memories, as long as you did it with respect. And so you did, dusting off old books you barely understood.

While you were searching, you came across an old notebook that caught your attention, especially because of what was written in it: Fabrizio Beneviento (1878).

It looked like an old diary; a notebook as old as time, with its yellowed, delicate pages that seemed to want to fall apart among your fingers. Logically, it was the property of an ancestor of the lady in black, and the date coincided with the creation of the labyrinths. Your favorite novels were those about knights, but you didn't dislike detective stories at all.

“Oh, I have to ask Donna to teach me Italian, I don't understand anything,” you said with a confused grimace, trying to decipher what those old pages said.

After looking at those incomprehensible sentences in bewilderment, you finally found something, a name that you expected to read: Norshteyn.

“Bingo,” you said satisfied, marking the page and walking towards the workshop, where Donna was working, as always, on her dolls.

“Hey, silly!” Angie shouted, swinging her legs on a table while the lady worked, distracted by the shouts and shaking her head at you.

“Angie…” Donna murmured, dropping a paintbrush with a grimace of disgust. “You almost ruined my work.”

“Tell her, she interrupted you,” the doll said, pointing at you.

The lady smiled, shaking her head as you approached and gave her a quick kiss in greeting.

“Are you bored, tesoro?” she asked softly, smoothing your hair.

“No, not exactly,” you said triumphantly, holding up the notebook. “Look what I found. I think it belongs to a relative of yours… Fabrizio Beneviento.”

“Wow,” she sighed, studying the notebook. “Yes, he was my ancestor, what’s this about?”

“Look, in this part it talks about the labyrinths of that Norshteyn guy. It might say where the key is,” you said, pointing at the page. “But… I don’t understand what it says. Would my wonderful girlfriend be so kind as to translate it for me?”

Donna laughed, nodding with a slight blush on her cheek, looking down at the text.

“Let’s see…” she sighed, picking up the book. “There’s something about that man that makes me shudder, no matter how kind he was when he built that chest,” she began to read.

“I have a bad feeling about him. Maybe opening it is a bad idea, my legs shake every time I get close to that damn model. I have no way of knowing what evil powers will be unleashed if I let that key slide down the rails. I have enough problems already, it would be best to hide it, and I have the perfect place, under the tree in the nearby cabin.”

“Wow… is that what it says?” you asked expectantly.

“Uh-huh,” the lady said, turning the pages with curiosity.

“Great, great, we have to go to the cabin to look for the key,” you said excitedly, rubbing your hands. “Treasure, here I go…”

“Hey, stop, (Y/N), do you intend to go now? The sky is very dark, I fear a storm is approaching,” Donna said, closing the notebook and tilting her head.

“W-Well, then we better hurry up,” you said jumping. “Come on, Donna, let’s go…”

“Do I have to go with you?” the brunette asked, frowning and looking away at her dolls. “(Y/N), I'm working on…”

“Yes, yes… your dolls, I know,” you said looking up and putting your hands on her shoulders. “It'll just be a moment, besides we already know where it is.”

“No,” she said with a cold look, turning around and picking up the brush again.

“Donna…” you sighed disappointedly, waving your hands. “Don't be boring, come on, let's go…”

“Why don't you go by yourself?” she asked, annoyed by your insistence and the distraction you caused in her greatest passion.

“I…” you stammered, embarrassed.

No, you weren't a coward but… well, walking through that sinister forest, through that place in ruins… yes, it made you feel like a coward, but you weren't, really, you weren't…

“It's just that…” you whispered, dragging out your words. “I don't like walking alone through the forest. I'd rather you came with me, just in case.”

“Mm,” Donna murmured, dropping the brush again and crossing her arms. “I repeat the question, tesoro: why do you want me to go with you? I'm weak, remember?” she said, spitting out her words, telling you she hadn't forgotten the conversation from the day before.

“Oh, come on, I didn't mean it,” you said with a growl. “I'd feel safer if you were with me, because you could protect me, right?” you said, changing your tone from pleading to a slightly defiant one.

The lady in black abruptly stood up from her chair, clenching her fists on either side of her hips.

“Do you doubt that I can protect you?” she hissed with a dark look, one that betrayed that you had made an annoying insinuation.

“Mm, no,” you said, looking at your nails with disinterest. “But it would be a good occasion to prove it, don’t you think? Imagine if a lycan sneaks onto the grounds, or if I trip and fall and…”

“Ugh, basta. Va bene, va bene…” the doll maker growled, kicking the ground in a childish manner. “I’ll accompany you so you shut that big mouth, but not now, I’m busy. We’ll go this afternoon.”

“Mm, Donna,” you said with a triumphant smile, throwing yourself into her arms. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“Lasciami, you always do whatever you want with me, tesoro,” she said with an amused smile, fighting against your tireless kisses.

“You're the best,” you whispered, giving her one last kiss on the cheek. “I'll leave you alone,” you said with a sweet voice walking out of the workshop.

“Finally!” the doll squealed.

“Angie…”

The adventure would have to wait, but only for a few hours. Donna kept her promise, walking with you through the forest again. The lady was right, the impending storm could even be smelled, but that didn't matter to you.

You dug in the indicated place, finally finding your prize, a ball decorated with the crest of the Beneviento family, the key that opened that mysterious labyrinth.

“I found it, look, it's cool,” you said, walking towards the lady, who was waiting impatiently, with her arms crossed.

“Mm, it's beautiful,” she said, studying the ball curiously, running her fingers over the engraving.

“Yeah, and now... let's play labyrinths and...” you said, approaching the shed triumphantly.

“Watch out for the ghost!” Angie shouted, which, along with a terrifying thunder that shook your insides, caused you to lose your balance with a cowardly scream.

“Shit!” you yelled, causing the ball to fall to the ground.

You bent down to pick it up, but at that moment a drop of ice-cold water fell on the tip of your nose, forcing you to look up.

“Does it have to be now?” you protested angrily, looking at the model out of the corner of your eye as Donna ran beside you. “Come on.”

“Let’s go home, tesoro, before we end up soaked,” she said, dragging you back to the mansion. “(Y/N)…”

“Jeez…” you sighed in disappointment, but at that moment, another thunderclap made you jump on the ground. “Uh… okay, good idea.”

Luckily the storm didn't reach you.

“Almost,” you sighed, closing the door of the mansion, holding the ball tightly. “Don't think you've beaten me, stupid ball… wait until tomorrow,” you hissed, putting it in your pocket.

“I better get dinner ready,” Donna murmured, watching the rain that was beginning to fall without remedy, making the sunset even darker.

“Wait, wait,” you said hurriedly, running next to her. “I'll go with you, so I can keep you company.”

“Do you want to see me cook?” she asked, letting your hands hug her waist.

You blushed and nodded effusively, kissing her slowly.

“Yes, I want to compensate you for having accompanied me,” you whispered, getting closer.

“I can think of better ways to do it. But it's fine for now,” Donna purred, tugging erotically at your lower lip and pulling away in an almost painful way.

After all, it was a fun afternoon. The two of you cooked together, laughed, kissed, almost let yourself be carried away by passion... Nothing could go wrong that night, nothing.

“I'll set the table,” you said, exiting the elevator with the lady.

She smiled in response, walking beside you towards the living room.

You hummed as you placed the cutlery in its place, glancing sideways at the open door to the hall. You turned your head without noticing a detail, and did so again abruptly when you noticed something was wrong. The entrance door was banging due to the wind, it was open.

“Um, Donna, did you open the door?” you asked with a frown, getting closer to the entrance.

“No, didn't you close it?” the lady asked, carefully correcting the places of the cutlery so everything looked perfect.

“Y-Yes,” you said nervous, confused, remembering that, indeed, you closed it. “I'm completely sure that I closed it.”

“Mm, it must have been the wind,” Donna commented.

“Anyway, I'm going to close it,” you finally sighed, approaching the entrance.

Just as you crossed the door to the hall, you felt a strong grip on your body, hands that grabbed you tightly and an arm around your neck. In front of you was what looked like a dagger, a knife, shining in the light of the mansion.

“Ah!” you screamed, struggling with that strength, with that arm that surrounded you.

“Shh, quiet,” a male voice threatened in your ear. “Walk.”

He looked like a man from the village because of his clothes, but his furious breathing told you that he was dangerous. Slowly, trapped like a hostage, you returned to the living room, trying to scream, with your mouth covered by the hand with the knife.

With a strong movement of your body, you managed to free yourself from his hand, and finally, scream.

“Donna!” you screamed, drawing the attention of the lady in black, who immediately turned around, opening her eye wide when she saw the scene. “Donn…” you couldn't scream again, as the edge of the knife dug into your throat.

“Silence,” that man said, wet from the rain, roaring like a beast eager for blood. “Don't move, you weirdo,” he said to Donna, you suspected with a sinister smile.

The lady didn't move an inch. She just stared at the aggressor, without saying a single word, coldly.

“That's it, very good,” he hissed satisfied, pulling you to expose your throat even more. “Good girl.”

“Donna, please…” you whispered pleadingly when you saw your girlfriend's calm, a calm that began to make you nervous. “Donna…”

“Shh, shut up,” the man demanded, pressing the knife harder into your skin. “Cooperate and I won't do anything to you, little bird… I haven't come for you, but for her.”

“Dare to do something to my Donna's girlfriend, you bastard!” Angie threatened, immediately reassured by a fleeting glance from the lady.

“Oh, is she your girlfriend?” the attacker sang. “You have good taste, I admit it, a shame it's your last day with her.”

“Let me go!” you shrieked, trying to free yourself from the grip.

“You think you're very important, don't you? You and that gang of monsters,” the man said, ignoring your protests.

Donna raised her chin, but once again, she remained motionless.

“You've been desecrating this village with your lies and demonic blasphemies, but it's over. I won't allow it, I'll finish you off. I advise you to behave yourself, Beneviento, or else I'll hurt this beauty, what do you say? Will you let me finish you off?”

“Donna, for the Gods' sake, help me,” you said angrily, frustrated.

“You're not going to do anything to the girl,” the brunette finally said, walking a step closer to you.

“How bold for a nutcase like you,” he mocked, making you feel a stab of pain in your throat as you felt the knife graze your skin. “Don't take another step, monster, or the girl dies.”

“The girl won't die,” Donna said, getting a little closer, darkening her gaze and raising a hand towards you. “You will.”

“You wanted it…” the man hissed, suddenly loosening his grip. “What? What?!” he shrieked as he looked at his own hand.

Taking advantage of that moment, you broke free with a push, running into the arms of your beloved.

“Tutto bene, (Y/N)?” Donna asked in a whisper, holding you against her chest.

You nodded on the verge of panic, not letting the lady's body go.

“No, no…” the man murmured, scratching his skin with the knife, trying to get rid of something. “Take it off!”

“Don't look,” Donna told you, turning your head towards her clothes, holding you tightly against her as she raised her hand again.

“You can't!” he shrieked, desperate, along with a horrible sound of something breaking, it sounded like bones.

You heard something fall to the wooden floor, the knife. Curious and nervous, you shifted to observe, though you wished you hadn't.

The attacker's arm was twisted, completely out of place, surely broken.

“No, no! Don't make me do this!” he pleaded, falling to the floor on his knees, while his good hand hit it, twisting until that horrible crunch attacked your ears again. “Ah, Gods, no! Forgive me, my lady! No, please!”

“You threatened (Y/N), my family,” the lady whispered, with a tone that gave chills. “You have to pay for it.”

“No, no!” he screamed, desperate, involuntarily hitting his head against the wood. “No, take it away from me! They're going to eat my brain! No, out, out!”

“Do you want me to stop?” the lady asked, while hugging you with a sinister smile.

The man, terribly wounded, stood up fighting against invisible enemies, barely able to move, throwing a chair in front of him.

“Leave me alone, damn it! You won't take me alive!” he screamed for the last time, letting himself fall backwards, hitting his neck on the chair with a last terrible crunch, ceasing to scream, to exist.

“It's over, (Y/N),” the lady said, hugging your face while you squeezed your eyes shut tightly. “That's it, tesoro... shh...”

“D-Donna, he was going to kill me, he was going to...” you said sobbing in fear, with the lady in black controlling your tremors as best she could.

You turned your head to look at your attacker, with his neck dislocated in the chair, with a look of terror that you would dream about for several nights.

“H-He's… dead,” you murmured scared. “He's dead,” you repeated nervously, shaking your head.

“No, tesoro, don't look, look at me, come on,” Donna said, guiding your gaze away from the corpse. “(Y/N)…”

“D-Donna…” you sobbed again, breathing heavily, in shock and disobeying the lady's orders, turning your head again and growling in rage. “You son of a bitch!” you screamed, breaking free from your girlfriend's grip and walking towards the body, kicking it in a crazy way. “Bastard!”

“Hey, hey, tesoro, stop, please,” the lady said, grabbing you to get you away from the attacker, having to fight with your kicks. “Enough, it's over, he won't hurt you anymore.”

“Donna, he was going to kill me,” you cried, in a terrible panic attack, clinging to the Lord’s clothes while soaking them with your tears. “He was going to kill me…”

She sighed and kissed your head while still hugging you, rocking your body in a comforting way.

“Don't cry,” Donna whispered. “Don't cry, please…”

“He was going to kill me,” you repeated, unable to say anything else until you regained some consciousness, enough to realize what had happened. “He was going to kill me and now… now he's dead,” you gasped, opening your eyes wide and moving away from her embrace. “He's dead… You, you killed him, you killed that man,” you stammered pointing at the lady, who shook her head.

“Tesoro, I had to do it, he was going to hurt you,” she excused herself, trying to get you closer to her again, something that, due to shock and nerves, you rejected with a step back.

“Donna, you killed a person,” you repeated passing a hand over your forehead.

“I was protecting you, don't you understand? I… Oh, cazzo… Listen to me, amore mio… I didn't want to…”

“You tortured him and then you killed him, Donna,” you said nervously, shaking your head. “Gods…”

“What did you want me to do? He had a knife at your damn throat!” she shrieked, with a crazy look. “I… I-I'm, sorry, I… per favore, tesoro, don't be afraid of me. I promise I'm not a monster, please…”

“No, Donna,” you said in a calmer tone, with the panic fading from your mind and body. “I'm not afraid of you, I… Donna, my love, you saved me. Oh, Donna,” you sighed, running back to her side, hugging her tightly.

“(Y/N)…”

“Donna, my love, thank you so much, thank you for saving me,” you sobbed, burying your face in her dress. “You saved me…”

“Calm down, stop crying, (Y/N),” the lady said, putting a hand on your shoulder and looking at you closely. “Oh, you have a wound on your neck…” she sighed, staining her finger with your blood. “Come, sit down, I… will make some calls to clean this up and then I will heal you, okay? Just, just relax.”

You let yourself be guided by her and obeyed, giving one last look to the lifeless attacker, a look devoid of fear, full of hate. He got what he deserved, you were convinced.

Soon after, Heisenberg appeared to clean up the mess, and finally, with your nerves completely calm, you could breathe and think coldly about everything that had happened. You were completely wrong about Donna. She seemed the weakest of the four, but she wasn't, now you knew.

Mind control, tormenting someone to the point of forcing them to end their life, was perhaps not the physical strength and power you admired, but it was, without a doubt, the most dangerous skill. Isolated from the world around you, you fantasized about what had happened, imagining Donna as one of those knights who rescued damsels in distress, as your savior, the woman who would always protect you, always.

That childish thought at first turned into something more due to euphoria, something you weren't sure you could control.

“It's nothing serious, just a scratch,” the lady murmured as she passed a cotton ball over your wound, in a silent moment, warm in a certain way. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” you said, taking a breath as you endured that sting. “Better than ever.”

“Mm, you must be in shock,” she commented, caressing your cheek. “Ascoltami, (Y/N), you have to understand that I did it for you, to save you. If I lost you… I don’t know what would become of me, do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand,” you said with a smile that made the brunette frown and held your face a tighter.

“You understand… fine,” Donna sighed, letting your face go and finishing healing your wound. “I would understand that you were afraid of me, maybe I would prefer that you continue thinking that I am weak,” she whispered amused, kissing your forehead affectionately.

“I have never really thought that way,” you said due to the sudden heat of your body. “Besides, I don’t need a huge monster to protect me, with you it is more than enough. I’m safe with you, right?”

“Yes, of course you are. I will always protect you, no matter what,” she whispered, getting dangerously close to your lips, leaving them at the mercy of yours, which were quick to take advantage of the situation and kiss them deeply.

“Mm,” you murmured at the lady's confused attitude towards your kisses, but without giving her much time to react. “So... are you like my savior knight?”

“Do I look like a knight to you?” she joked, playing along, returning those increasingly wet kisses.

“Mm, no, I would never do this to a knight,” you purred, leaving her lips aside, kissing her neck as you pushed her against the couch, climbing up her hips.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” she asked at your sudden attack of lust, but not resisting at all. “I think you should rest.”

“No, no, Donna... a damsel in distress should be grateful, don't you think?” you whispered in her ear, biting her lobe, tearing a gasp from her lips as your hand ran over her chest, passively playing with the buttons of her dress.

“No, I… I'm altruistic, I just do it for love,” she said, her words clumsy, with a nervous smile at your touch, your wet kisses on her skin, the subtle sway of your hips.

“Then you will receive love,” you hissed, capturing her lips to silence her reluctance, leaving her completely still, leaving your savior without any chance of saving herself.

The kisses echoed off the walls, the euphoria drove you crazy, making you much more mischievous, fighting against her tongue in a fair battle while her hands delighted in your skin, slipping through the slits of your dress, squeezing, scratching, possessing…

“Mm, Donna,” you said, looking at the confused but visibly nervous lady, with her skin burning under the subtle touch of your lips, under the soft caresses of your fingertips on her neck. “My lady, allow me to kneel…”

You whispered in her ear, getting up to carry out your threat, letting your knees rest on the wooden floor as your hands became vines on her legs, under her dress, making her tremble.

“(Y/N), it's not the time, I…” she said, without moving away from the poison ivy that spread across her skin, those stinging leaves that dug into her flesh as they climbed helplessly, as they pulled up the black fabric to keep it out of your sight.

Ignoring those weak complaints, you reached her thighs, locking your eyes on hers, looking for a cowardly and silent approval, the trembling of her body, a subtle moan when your hand ran over her telltale wetness through the underwear.

“Cazzo…” she cursed, looking away, embarrassed, shy as always, but excited as never.

A sinister, menacing smile spread across your face as your lips distracted the doll maker, running over the places marked by your nails, kissing, tasting her warm skin.

Your hands, knowing that Donna was too busy with the pleasure your kisses gave her, the tickling your lips did to her skin, took advantage of that confusion, those pleasurable moans that came out of her mouth, to pull at the edges of the garment that covered her shame, sliding it elegantly down her legs, which didn’t resist.

“(Y/N)…” the lady moaned when she noticed you were getting closer, that your kisses and your body were moving towards her. “Gods…”

Your hands played their role well, slightly separating the brunette's legs while grabbing her flesh, while your mouth salivated at the sight of her shiny wetness in front of you, with her arousal clouding all your senses.

You didn't want to waste time, and you immersed yourself in her, kissing and savoring her essence in a delicate way, adoring her flavor, her skin, the moisture that permeated your impatient lips.

“Mm, delicious, Donna,” you moaned sensually, running your tongue through her folds, making her shudder, her hands going wild, tangling in your hair, holding you on her body. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she said with a voice broken by pleasure, closing her eye from the embarrassment of the situation, from the carefully studied movements of your lips on hers.

Donna moaned, writhing when the kisses attacked her clit, her most sensitive area, licking, sucking, moving in circles like a slow and wet dance, a delicate and cautious dance that drew from her lips the most beautiful melodies you had ever heard.

Her moans stopped being harmonious, becoming a kind of claim, a demand for you to increase your speed, to be constant and never abandon her. That was always Donna's greatest fear, that you would abandon her, no matter in what sense.

She was your savior, your protector, your refuge, your inspiration, she was everything to you and you to her.

How could she not protect her most precious possession? She would do it fiercely, she would always do it, because she loved you. Thinking about that protection only gave you more pleasure. It tempted you to stimulate yourself, to be selfish, but you were always strong against impulses.

Your kisses, the caresses of your tongue, the union of your fingers to that wet gratitude were too much for you, but they were also a reward, an act of love, of promises that would always be fulfilled, of passion, of lust, of madness, of moans and supplications… Donna and you, you and Donna, Lord and villager, knight and damsel, love and lust.

“Per, per favore… don’t stop now,” the lady said, panting nervously when you dared to enter, when your fingers slid along her walls while your tongue was unable to speak, being too busy with her taste, with her movements, with the beauty of her trembling body. “Sto per venire…”

“Oh, my love…” you sighed, laughing tenderly, granting your savior the gift of release, curling inside her, feeling her body demand your presence, squeezing you without wanting to let you go.

Donna screamed and you did too against her skin. Her body moved uncomfortably from the waves of pleasure and the moisture was already part of your mouth. Her arousal slipped from your lips, her movements stimulated your own lust, making you moan in unison.

“Donna…” you said with a kind look, leaning on her knees as she recovered from her well-deserved orgasm. “You will always protect me, right?”

“Always…”

[raayllum]

What Is Up With Terry :: the Thread of Necessity

Intro

Terry is an interesting character in a lot of ways. He's unflappably kind and optimistic, accepting even to a fault, and he's an elf with no issue with dark magic yet doesn't seek out its use for himself. He's a non-traditional antagonist for starters, he's trans without being overly sanitized, and he most notably provides a sounding board for more overtly 'evil' characters like Viren in season four and Claudia in seasons five and six. Most of this is in service of Claudia's goals, with Terry not having many of his own goals outside of his support of Claudia and Viren; this is, mind you, not too dissimilar from Soren with Ezran in arc 2 as well, or even Amaya with Janai.

I also think he's a very important in a character in a lot of ways, for the ease with which he explores and exemplifies

You can love / support Viren and Claudia and that doesn't make you a 'bad person' in the show

You can be okay with dark magic without changing your mind and that doesn't make you a bad person either

You can kill someone in TDP and that doesn't automatically make you a bad person either

We know all of this is true (and will likely continue to be true) as we know in S7 there is an episode about Terry related to him still having a "true and pure heart," which is about as classical "good guy protagonist" speak as you can get. In those lenses, I think Terry was a fantastic choice in introducing a new character to not only contrast against Claudia and Viren, but also in terms of getting us to be more sympathetic towards them (particularly Viren) than we might've been inclined towards in arc 1.

That said, I think the most important thread that Terry carries is that he is a character who truly and wholly does whatever is necessary for his cause, nothing more, nothing less.

But what does that mean, tangibly, within TDP's narrative? Well, let's talk about it:

Necessity

The concept of necessity—I needed to do this, or I have to do this (even though I don't want to)—is one that has been central to TDP for a while. We see this characters who cite a lack of agency ("He was going to take Claudia's life, I had no choice" / "Every step I took, I took because I had to" / "I'm sorry. I have to do this") throughout the show, both dark mages and not, particularly Rayla, Soren, and Callum.

And in return for perceived necessity, as Harrow states, "I have done terrible things. I thought they were necessary. Now I don't know." We increasingly see people justify, or struggle to justify, worse and worse actions. Claudia's mindset has become very transactional, for example ("He saved you, and now we have to save Aaravos" / "It's a mistake! I saved you! You owe me your life!"). Generally speaking, the show treats these things labelled as necessary as unnecessary (hence the regret they experience, and even Terry disagreeing more adamantly than he ever has before).

This is, of course, because 4x09 and 6x09 together very clearly spells out what is important for Terry to believe something is necessary: it must be done entirely out of love, no more and no less.

I've seen you do a lot of awful things, dark magic things, but I always believed in you because you had a reason [saving your dad]. But what you just did, the way you tricked that Moonshadow elf? It was just cruel.

Maybe it started out as a story of love, but along the way it got twisted. [...] He isn't doing anything for love. He's doing it out of revenge.

To Terry, you do what you have to do but go no further; you don't give into anger, you don't give into revenge. You act entirely out of love, and keep acting out of love and let it temper you. This is why Terry resonates, I think, and seeks guidance from Viren after the mage's initial assessment of what's been happening, emotionally:

This is similar in practice to why Viren (and Claudia to a lesser extent) are characters with such fraught paths. Not only because of their dark magic use, but because of their denial. Viren violates Lissa's safety and trust to save Soren, but then blames Soren for it; Claudia heals Soren and brings back Viren, and doesn't understand why fixing things physically wasn't enough. "I had no choice" for them means "I have no accountability," and that's why they kept spiralling deeper till Viren broke out of it. He atones then not by swearing off dark magic (although it helps) but by taking full agency in the choice to do dark magic and in what manner (not sacrificing his family again) and without a desire for ego, which was his biggest character flaw in a lot of ways.

The reason I bring this up is to provide a contrast for Terry in a few ways, such as

Terry always being very emotionally open, rather than repressing or offloading blame onto other people

Mandates that he had no choice (4x03, 4x04) but to kill Ibis verbally, but is also aware that it very much was

Is able to accept that this was a choice and move on

Terry does what he believes is necessary. He feels things about it. He doesn't go further into outright self destruction, and he doesn't escalate to what harm is deemed unnecessary. That doesn't mean Terry's levelheadedness can't be a flaw (he absolutely should have told Claudia to give up magic in 6x04) or that what he believes is necessary always is / that his choices are perfect (they're not), but that in his contrast to Claudia and Viren, he continually provides that contrast. He can be held at sword point by Rayla, a total aggressive stranger, and still recognize that withholding her family from her is what he deems as unnecessary cruelty (but more on that later).

For now I want to talk about patterns, specifically two that he engages in with Claudia.

Patterns

The first pattern is unsurprising, perhaps, given that Claudia-Rayla have continually had parallels, given that:

1) Claudia keeps leaving him

This is, of course, most obvious in 6x01 when Claudia states her intention to do so, or even in 6x09 wherein Aaravos literally lifts her away from Terry:

But we also see it earlier on with even the choices Claudia makes in her mission. Terry is a passive person, much like how Claudia at her core is ("Tell me what to do" + 90% of interactions with Viren that aren't about saving him), and therefore Claudia leads the way, and Terry is happy to let her.

He never really considers that he might be a core part of her truth, and that she wants more active advice (see the way Rayla counsels Callum about his dark magic use, comparatively, in 6x03, or nudges him forwards elsewhere throughout the seasons). While Terry isn't wrong to encourage Claudia to think staunchly for herself, and in fact she very much should, it does leave her more vulnerable to the next first person willing to tell her what to do: Aaravos.

We also see Terry's passivity go even further back to one of his first episodes, as well as in the S5 finale.

Each entry in the pattern is a little different.

4x03: Claudia leaves / goes in alone and fails at her mission. Terry follows and saves her by killing Ibis at great cost to his personal emotional state.

5x09: Claudia leaves / goes in alone and fails at her mission. She goes further into Aaravos' clutches (the ocean here metaphorically) and returns of her own accord.

6x01: Claudia succeeds at bringing back her father but cannot make him stay. She leaves on her own in an attempt to break her family's cycle of abandonment without realizing how she's continually perpetuating it, but returns in a devastated and dejected state.

6x09: Claudia succeeds at her mission of freeing Aaravos, and the Startouch elf takes her literally into his clutches and away from Terry.

Each time it is her choice to leave, with only 4x03 firmly having Terry following without her returning by her own merit. Whereas Claudia plays out her family's cycle of abandonment with all its members—her mother, her brother, and finally her father—Terry plays it out with just Claudia, over and over again. This doesn't mean their relationship is bad or that some of these times are unreasonable—Terry is willing and supportive to let her go in 4x03 and 5x09 much the way Callum is supportive of Rayla in 4x09, 6x05, and 6x09—but it is a pattern that has then taken on a negative slant in S6 and will likely to continue to worsen in S7 before it gets better either in the season or beyond.

Then, we have the pattern of how

2) Claudia gradually stops listening to him.

This is probably more interwoven with the thread of necessity than the previous pattern, since as stated before, sometimes when Terry is letting Claudia go off on her own while it's imperfect in the narrative, it makes sense within their dynamic / resources. Like as previously mentioned, too, Terry is more often correct than he is wrong about the next moves people should make. He's right that Claudia will need help in 4x03, he's right that they should go look for her in 4x07, he's right that she needs rest in 5x02, and right to be wary and against Aaravos in 6x09.

In the beginning, Claudia listens to him.

But as the seasons go on, this gradually changes with twice back to back in 5x06.

T: It won't chase us anymore, you won. It's trapped. Please. C: You're right. It won't follow us. But not because it's trapped.

Season six is arguably the season where Claudia listens to him the least despite Terry reaffirming her agency most directly (6x04) as she ignores or doesn't listen to every reservation he has.

T: It's him. It's your Dad. C: Then I have to... T: No! Please! Please don't... I don't think you should see him like this. C: I have to! I came all this way to see him one last time. I need him to show me the right path. T: This won't give you answers. Only anger. Only pain. I'm so sorry. He's gone. He is gone.

And Terry, who does things only that are necessary, only out of love, would know the difference: unlike Rayla, or Claudia, or numerous other characters arguably in the show, he always has, particularly when given broader context the way he is in 6x09 (which hasn't always been true in his relationship with Claudia, either).

None of this is to say that Claudia is a Bad Partner or that your partner should always listen to you, either, because neither of those things are true in life or in TDP. Healthy couples in TDP disagree all the time in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Rayla left Callum when he explicitly made her promise not to, and Callum did dark magic to save her twice despite 100% knowing it's not what she wold've wanted.

But the first thing I want to address is the difference between Claudia leaving out of grief and trying to feel in control after losing everyone but her boyfriend, and Rayla leaving out of grief and trying to feel in control after losing everyone but her boyfriend because they are wildly different for one main reason.

Rayla left in the middle of the night while Callum was sleeping because "you’ll wake up and try to stop me… from doing what I know I have to do. Leaving. But I can’t let you stop me, Callum. No matter how much I want to. [...] And if you said even one word to me, I wouldn’t be—couldn’t be. If I stay even until your eyes open and you yawn your silly morning yawn, I’ll break" (TDP reflections, Dear Callum).

Terry, meanwhile, is actively begging and pleading with Claudia, and he is still abandoned. Granted, Claudia seemingly comes back within a day or two, not two years, so that does mitigate things, but the fact remains that Rayla thought she wouldn't be able to leave to protect Callum if she even heard him speak a word or yawn, and Claudia was able to leave to protect herself while having a full on conversation. Ouch.

Nor does this completely absolve Terry of the one time Claudia straight up asks him to tell her what to do, or what he thinks she should do, Terry doesn't (6x04). He's not wrong that she needs to choose the way and figure out what she needs, but him emphasizing that he can't tell her what to do and then immediately accepting her premises that Viren can and should tell her what to do is something that's already bitten both of them in the ass.

Terry also only asks Claudia to listen to him, really listen, and to tell her what she should do when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.

This is also one of the reasons why she and Terry are suited to each other. Both value and respond to necessity, scaffolding everything else on top of what needs to be done or doesn't need to be done. What's risky about this mutual understanding is the potential for it to stop being so mutual if they start to have different views on what's necessary. And as we see in 6x09, that's happening more and more. What is going to continue happen when Claudia keeps viewing Aaravos' actions as necessary, and Terry doesn't?

Questioning

So Terry is, presumably, going to increasingly be wary and against Aaravos. What is that going to look like?

We have a decent idea, honestly. As stated / noted before, Terry actually pushes back against Claudia fairly often. He's just rather gentle about it, and usually is trying to prioritize her wellbeing (or someone else's) when she isn't. Examples include:

4x09 over the coins / being cruel

5x01 ("You'd think if dark magic does this to a person they might not do it")

5x02 over resting

5x06 over attacking the dragon

5x06 over killing the dragon

6x01 over her leaving

6x04 with telling her what to do

6x08 over seeing Viren's corpse

6x09 in helping / freeing Aaravos

However, we're also yet to see him be angry in his questioning or when pushing back, which is what I think would be most interesting to see change (think the moment where Iroh finally yells at Zuko beneath Lake Laogai). His pushback with Claudia has gotten more and more consistent as well as more dire throughout the seasons, and just like how Viren and Claudia eventually disagreed and split up, I think Terry and Claudia will too. How permanent that split will be, I think, is up to her (I could see parallels happening between Soren and Terry teaming up to try and bring her home, with Ezran and Rayla doing the same for a brother-partner tag team Callum duo), but I do think that Terry's testament of "I love you, I will never leave you" is apt foreshadowing to see what it would take for him to break his promise, and do just that.

To what he knows needs to be done, even if that means walking away.

Misc. Season Thoughts

Terry also has some interesting things that don't fall under the necessity umbrella that I wanted to talk about as well. One of those things is

TERRY AND IDENTITY

This isn't to say I think Terry actively has an identity arc in seasons 4 through 6 the way other characters (Callum, Rayla, Viren) are, but that Terry like most of the main cast is linked to arc 2's continual increased emphasis on identity and choosing your own identity. This is true particularly in 4x01, which opens after the intro with Callum running through / clarifying his titles (or identity roles) and concludes with Viren and Terry being introduced to one another. Terry gives details on his name ("[Terrestrius] is a bit traditional, but my friends call me Terry") and then asks for clarification on what he can call Viren.

Later on in S5 and S6, we see Soren and Rayla respectively see through the 'monstrous' / threat of others by reaffirming their similarities ("I know what this is like. I know how you feel" / "This storm isn't your rage, it's your grief. I know how you feel") and bestowing agency through naming conventions. Rayla identifies the monster isn't a monster but a pet, and more than that, gives Esmeray back her name. Elmer does the same when he overthrows Finnegrin and Soren likewise affirms it: "We literally didn't [defeat him]. Elmer did."

Why is this relevant? Well, in an arc that's all about emphasizing over and over again to see other people's personhood by using their name(s), recognizing that you have a choice, and choosing who you want to be...

So often queer characters in media are regulated to their queerness being happenstance (i.e. they fulfil a certain story role regardless and just happen to also be queer) or it's all their character gets to be (a "figuring out queerness and/or a coming out" arc). One of the reasons I myself (as a queer and trans person) has always deeply appreciated Terry as a queer character, specifically as a trans character, is precisely the way that his transness is interwoven with TDP's broader themes of chosen identity, self-actualization, and knowing / name motifs. In having these themes and ideas for multiple cis characters, Terry's interplay gets to be enhanced by his trans identity and simultaneously let him enhance the thematic explorations the series has going on, and I think that's pretty cool. Identity is one of the main themes of s4, and for Terry as well, so it's nice to see the ways that's reflected.

I expect season 7 to challenge his identity further ("I'm going to be strong enough to do whatever I need to do and still have feelings") if forcing him to confront who he wants to be, who Claudia is becoming, and who he thinks they can still be together. In a lot of ways I'm expecting S7 to be a sister season to S4 thematically even as S7 builds on S5/S6 in terms of plot and character arcs, since S7 seems geared to be about identity directly even more than S4 was (and much more than S5 or S6 were).

TERRY AND COMMUNICATION

If season four is about identity, season five has a strong emphasis on communication. This is, again, likewise true for Terry, as he encourages Claudia to communicate in various ways across the course of the season.

The situation is urgent, and you're worried I'm not treating it that way.

Terry consistently having clear communication is also something that puts him in direct contrast to Aaravos, who is a master manipulator and very careful liar-not-liar in his own way. Terry is always open and while thoughtful does not really bottle things up; he communicates clearly with other people and is comfortable doing so, and is very good at validating others as well. Whenever he does push against Claudia, he always clearly explains why he's doing so or why he disagrees but leaves the choice of what to do next in making amends or carrying on up to her. Aaravos, meanwhile, continually withholds or omits information, and presents things in certain ways in order to get, well, his way.

I don't have as much to say for season six, given that Terry is only in about half the season (6x01, 6x03, 6x04, 6x08, 6x09) and one of those is entirely silent. I'd say his main idea in s6, like s4 with identity and s5 with communication, would be the theme of Questioning (scaffolded under 'supportive'). He's supportive of Viren and Claudia's searches for meaning alongside his own increase questioning of what they and Aaravos are doing and why. I'll be curious to see what his main character beat may be in s7 going forward.

Conclusion

There's more I could talk about with Terry (Viren dreaming in 5x03 of chasing after Claudia only for her not to listen, only for Terry to live out that worst fear in 6x01 directly, for example) but I think for now these are the main things I wanted to discuss without going further into speculation than I already have. I hope this maybe brought a new perspective or appreciation for Terry as a character and for his arc in the show so far! As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.

[teddy06writes]

Whumptober Day 4 - Fili

Fili Durin x gn!medic!reader

Prompt: Field Medicine/"Hang on, we're going to have to improvise."

Trigger Warnings: Graphic mentions of injuries and field medicine, character death

Summary: Even with the battle beginning to turn in your favor, there are still many losses to come, no matter how hard you work to prevent them.

{This is me secretly outing myself as barley remembering the way that battle of five armies goes}

The mountains seemed to stretch endlessly above you, as you raced to climb the battlements. Somewhere above you Thorin's voice roared, and the clash of steel on steel grew louder, almost competing with the battle that raged at your back.

You didn't know what awaited you at the top of the battlements, but you knew the White Orc's fury would never cease. A few steps behind you, Dwalin and the others were urging you to hurry. With a final burst of energy, you pushed up the final few steps-

And were greeted with a terrible scene.

Thorin was nowhere to be seen, but distantly, you swore you could make out his cursing. At the base of one tower, Fili and Kili were locked in a losing battle with a towering Orc.

"Fili!" His name was escaping your lips before you even realized it, in some mix of relief that he was okay, and desperation that he was still in danger.

Of course you got his attention. Had there ever been a time when he could take his eyes off you? A time where you hadn't lit up a room upon entering, stealing his attention away from whatever it was meant to be on?

Reflexively, a smile grew on his face.

In an instant, the orc was using that distraction, slashing wildly at your prince.

"Fili!"

You were in motion before he even began to stumble, rushing forward even as Gloin tried to hold you back. You were at Fili's side as he hit the ground, tears already welling in your eyes, "Oh- Fili... I'm sorry- forgive me-"

Somewhere behind you, you could make out Dwalin letting out a roar, and joining in the fight, but none of that mattered now.

"Ghivashel..." Fili reached up, trying to brush your hair out of your face.

"Shhh, you're going to be alright-" You forced in a deep breath, trying to steady your hands, as you assessed the damage, "I've got you."

Blood was already seeping through his tunic, soaking into his cloak and dyeing the surrounding snow a terrible crimson. Swallowing back your tears, you pulled the ripped fabric away from the wound.

The long jagged gash ran the length of his torso, spilling blood so quickly you couldn't be sure how deep it was, or if anything vital had been punctured. You were halfway through reaching for your supplies when you remembered that your medpack sat at the base of the mountain, abandoned during the fight.

You looked around frantically, hands pressed tightly against what looked like the deepest part of the cut, "Hang on, love, we're going to have to improvise."

He groaned, trying to grasp at your hands, "My love..."

You turned over your shoulder, shouting, "Ori! Help me!"

Ori, who had been hovering uncertainty behind you, moved forward, listening to your harsh instructions.

"I need you to keep pressure on it- as much as your can."

"I- I don't think-" He started to protest.

You forced his hands down onto Fili's stomach, before beginning to rip fabric from your own tunic to pack the wound, "It's gonna be alright Fili- stay with me-"

He mumbled something you couldn't make out, head lolling to one side.

"No- no- no- Fili you need to stay awake, listen to me-" You frantically began to pack the wound, the best you could, but even with your kit you'd never have enough fabric to stem the bleeding.

Ori stared at you, wide eyed and uncertain. Fili's too pale, too cold hand slipped from your wrist.

"Come on, Fili, you have to stay with me- you have to- Fili!"

~~~

Enjoy this fic? Support me on kofi :)

[taeyongdoyoung]

kiss from a rose

summary: tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, beauty and the...dragon? pairing: taeyong x reader genre: fantasy, romance warnings: idk, shitty sisters, lowkey death threat, anger issues, wicked ppl, throwing stuff, but overall mild descriptions of violence; the occasional song references in bold hihi author's note: this is jincredibly self-indulgent, just because beauty and the beast is my fave fairy tale and i've been in my taeyong missing hours word count: 4.7k

The roses in the garden are in full bloom, their dark red colour contrasting with the pearl white snow. Unlike your sisters who'd asked your father to bring expensive dresses and fine jewels, you only wanted a rose. So, your father, exhausted from the long journey in the snowstorm, feels like finding this castle is a true miracle. There is warm food, water and wood burning in the fireplace. And not a person in sight. So, as the storm subsides and he is making his way out through the garden, he can't resist the temptation of plucking a singular rose for his favourite daughter. Surely, no one would notice? Only he doesn't realize what a terrible mistake he makes.

Suddenly, he hears a booming roar from somewhere above. A large dragon appears in front of your father, breathing fire from its huge mouth and melting the snow nearby.

"Who dares disrupt my garden?" the dragon asks angrily in a human voice.

"I'm s-sorry, I d-didn't know it was yours," your father explains, terrified for his life. "I only meant to surprise my youngest daughter, I swear. It's the only thing she wants."

The dragon considers this for a brief moment.

"A gift, you say? Very well, I suppose I could spare one rose," the dragon murmurs in a deceivingly calm tone.

"Really? Thank you so much for your generosity, uhh…your greatness."

"Don't thank me just yet. You can have the rose but in return I shall have your daughter who asked for it."

"What? N-no, she's more precious to me than anything. You can keep the rose."

"Too late," the dragon grunts, breathing fire and sends your father running for his life. "If you don't send your daughter here before the sun sets, I will burn your home with your entire family."

Once your father returns home and explains this whole situation, there are two types of reactions. Your sisters are only concerned with the amazing clothing and jewelry your father has brought for them and they don't take his words seriously, saying he was probably hallucinating from being exhausted. You, however, trust your father's story to be truthful. Throughout your life, you've seen and heard things you can't explain, so it makes perfect sense that dragons exist.

"I'll go there, father," you promise. "It is only fair, I'm the one who asked for a rose."

"No, my darling, the dragon could burn you alive or eat you!" your father panics.

"It doesn't matter. If I don't do as he says, he'll kill all of you!"

"We'll think of something, we'll move to live somewhere else," you father tries to dissuade you.

"We don't have enough money for that. Just let me go."

Your father nods reluctantly, not seeing another way out and explains the location of the castle to the best of his abilities.

You run outside and hop on the horse. Luckily, the wise animal remembers his recent adventures and takes you to the castle easily.

You marvel at the sight. The castle is covered in snow and right in front of it is a gorgeous garden with so many roses. These might be your last moments, but it is still a true blessing you got to see such a beautiful view.

As you enter the castle, you are greeted by a similar setting to the one your father saw. Warm meals and red wine, a burning fireplace, fancy plates and candles. It is truly magical. Confused by the welcoming atmosphere, you take a seat. Not daring to eat or wander about without permission, you play with your hands nervously for a while, until finally, the doors of the grand hall open and you see what your father was so scared of. The dragon. He has red scales and his eyes are darker than night itself. Strangely enough, the way the dragon walks in is so…elegant, almost human-like that you barely resist the urge to gasp. Why on earth is this dangerous creature so stunning?

"You came," the dragon remarks.

"Didn't have much of a choice, did I?" you reply hastily before thinking.

"There's always a choice. You could have decided to burn together with your family. Instead, you came here all alone to atone for your father's sin, not knowing what awaits you. Can't tell if you're stupid or selfless."

You shrug.

"I hardly think plucking one rose is a sin, but whatever," you roll your eyes.

"You have no idea what a single rose could achieve," the dragon mutters quietly.

"Explain it to me, then! What do you want with me? Are you going to eat me or what?"

"Sorry to disappoint," the dragon growls. "Not really a huge fan of human meat. I just want to have dinner with you every night."

"Dinner? As in…I am not the dinner?" you keep joking to ease your tension.

"Not unless you try to escape," the dragon warns.

"That sounds doable," you agree easily. "What should I call you?"

"What?" the dragon blinks in surprise. It's been forever since someone asked him that.

"Well, I can't just go around calling you "Mr. Dragon", can I? You must have a name of some sorts."

The dragon nods thoughtfully, not at all sure how it came to this. Why is it so easy to talk to you?

"You can call me Yong," the dragon replies.

"Alright, Yong. I'm Y/N," you introduce yourself, because it seems like the polite thing to do. "I wish we'd met under different circumstances but it is what it is. Let's have dinner."

As you use your fork and knife to eat the delicious meals, you notice the dragon's terrible table manners. He talks like a human and yet he devours the food like an animal, starving and eager to get it over with. You can't help but smile, finding the contrast between his words and actions so amusing.

"What are you smiling about?" Yong hisses.

"Here, let me show you," you take hold of his…what even should you call it? Hand? Paw? Front limb? You have no idea but you try to fit a fork in the space between his claws and guide him gently in an attempt to explain how to use the fork.

"I know how it's done, it's just uncomfortable," Yong snaps at you.

"How do you know?" you ask curiously.

"None of your business," the dragon grunts and for a few moments he tries to appease you by attempting to eat with a fork. But he keeps spilling food, making a mess of everything, and eventually gives up, throwing a couple of dishes on the floor with his enormous limbs.

You flinch involuntarily, taken aback by his violent outburst.

"This is stupid," he growls and leaves the room.

You sigh to yourself in the grand hall when the silence is suddenly interrupted from the most unexpected direction.

"Ugh, finally," the candelabra moans in relief. "I was wondering when he'd leave."

"Don't speak like that of him," the mantel clock scolds the candelabra. "He's trying his best."

"You guys can speak?!" you gasp in surprise. Although…if there is a talking dragon, why can't there be talking objects?!

"Oh, shoot, I forgot we have a guest," the candelabra says. "Nice to meet you, I'm Johnny."

"And I'm Jaehyun," the mantel clock adds. "It's really nice to have some human company around here."

"Uhh, sure, it's nice to meet you, I guess," you blink, still recovering from the shock.

"Don't mind them, sweetheart," the teapot joins the conversation. "Would you like a cup of tea to ease your nerves?"

"Mom, not everything can be fixed with tea," an adorable chipped teacup responds.

"For the hundredth time, Haechan, I'm not your mom! Lovely to meet you, Y/N. I'm Doyoung."

"Wow…the pleasure is all mine," you reply sweetly, although you're not sure pleasure is the right word for what you're currently experiencing. It surely is a lot to take in…

"Go get some sleep, sweetheart," Doyoung the teapot encourages you. "Tomorrow will be better."

"Or not," Haechan the pessimistic teacup chips in.

You shake your head and make your way to your room, following Doyoung's helpful directions. When you close your eyes, despite the overwhelming day you've had, you immediately fall asleep.

As the sun's rays enter your new room, you slowly awake, greeted by the unexpected warmth and the different voices.

"Oh, I can't wait to dress her up! A human girl, can you believe it?" the wardrobe exclaims.

"Shhh, let her sleep," the mirror responds.

"Woof! Woof!" the footstool barks enthusiastically.

"Jungwoo, quit acting like a dog, that joke got old a few years ago!" the mirror scolds the footstool.

You sit up in the bed to meet your new roommates.

"Erm…good morning, everyone," you greet them kindly, because you don't see any other option than to run with it.

"Yes! Time to get you dolled up!" the wardrobe can't wait to turn his fashion dreams into reality. "I'm Yuta."

"I'm Mark," the mirror introduces himself, as well.

"Woof!" the footstool keeps barking.

"And that's Jungwoo," Mark explains. "He's going through his dog phase."

"Uhh, good to know."

"When we're done with you, you'll look so dazzling Yong won't be able keep his eyes off of you," Yuta promises.

"And that is a good thing because…?"

"Oh, right, I forgot you might be scared. But trust me, once you get to know him, he's not that bad."

"I'll be the judge of that," you insist. "But I won't mind some distractions to keep me from thinking about the inevitable dinner."

"We're on it," Mark the mirror vows.

Once your new talking furniture friends are done with your makeover, they fall asleep and you finally get a moment to yourself. You need to investigate, you decide. You can't imagine how hard it is for your father with no one to help him (your sisters aren't very reliable). There's gotta be a way out of this castle, right? To your amazement, your room's door is unlocked and you walk down the corridors, nervously looking around. On the walls there are portraits of people you've never seen before. They look like royalty. One of painted faces has been slashed through with…claws?! What even is this place? Then, you find a massive wooden door, slightly ajar. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you sneak inside the mysterious room. As you walk further, you spot a dim glow. You follow the direction of the light and discover a glass jar by an open window leading to the balcony. Inside it is a single rose. Enchanted by its unusual radiance, you lift the jar, overwhelmed by the urge to touch the plant…

Just as your fingers barely touch the petals, a loud voice interrupts the serenity.

"What are you doing here?" the dragon yells angrily. "What did you do?"

"N-nothing," you mumble awkwardly, putting the bell jar back in its place. "I was just-"

"Get out of here!" the dragon screams madly, "OUT!"

Startled by his wrath, you run out of the room and down the stairs.

"It's dangerous out there, Y/N," Doyoung the teapot tries to stop you.

"I'm not wanted here," you cry out and keep sprinting towards the exit.

"That's not true!" Johnny the candelabra attempts to argue. "We need you!"

"Jungwoo, stop her!" Doyoung says.

Jungwoo the footstool runs in front of you, blocking the exit and starts barking.

"Who's a good puppy?" Jaehyun the mantel clock starts praising Jungwoo.

But Jungwoo's attention span seems limited and suddenly, he's in the mood to play around, jumping excitedly.

"No, not now, bad puppy!" Jaehyun sighs loudly.

But it is too late and in no time, you have gone outside and towards your freedom. Hopping onto the horse, you urge him to go as fast as he can.

Despite the bad weather, you are determined to make a run for it and go deeper into the snowy forest. Looking back to see no one is following you, you think luck is on your side this time around. Barely having had time to think that, you spot a pack of wolves looming in on you. There is a frozen lake nearby and your horse doesn't hesitate to gallop onto the ice. But the weight of you both is too much and the ice starts cracking beneath you. The wolves close in. You get off the horse and urge the loyal animal to reach the safe ground. The wolves have grabbed your clothing and are pulling with all their might. Just then, the ice breaks loudly beneath you and you fall into the freezing cold water.

The shock is so strong but before you manage to panic, you suddenly feel yourself being pulled back onto the surface. He saved you. The dragon. Yong attempts to scare the wolves by breathing fire in their direction. But the fire only manages to melt some of the ice, making it dangerous for you all. The wolves are viciously biting the dragon but the red-scaled beast is doing his best not to actually kill them with fire. Eventually the heat and the dragon's attacks are too much and the wolves scather around in fear.

Yong looks exhausted from the fight and closes his dark eyes, lying helplessly on the ice. This is your chance to get the hell out of here once and for all. But…he came for you when you were in danger. And he looks injured. You can't just leave him like this. But you can't exactly move him back to the castle, either. With a sigh, you kneel next to the dragon.

"We have to get back to the castle," you whisper, daring to touch his blood-red scales. "Yong, please."

He opens his eyes begrudgingly.

"Hop on," Yong suggests.

"What?!" you squeak in shock.

"Too tired to walk," he explains. "We'll fly back to the castle."

You don't find the energy to argue, so you climb on the back of the dragon. Luckily, you didn't manage to make it that far and the castle is only a short flight away. But you can't imagine how hard this must be for Yong. Not only did he rescue you from the ice-cold water and singlehandely fought these vicious wolves, but now he is also flying.

Back in the castle, you are tending to the dragon's wounds to the best of your abilities.

"Ouch, that hurts," he complains loudly with a hiss.

"If you stop moving, it won't hurt that much," you point out gently.

"If you hadn't run away, I wouldn't be injured," Yong replies sassily.

"If you hadn't yelled at me, I wouldn't have run away," you respond.

"If you hadn't sneaked into my room, I wouldn't-"

"My God, I get it," you interrupt him with a huff. "Let's just…try to calm down."

"Alright," Yong finally agrees in a quiet voice.

"Thank you for saving me out there," you whisper softly.

"Yeah, erm…thanks for not letting me fall asleep in the cold."

"It was the least I could do," you shrug. "You…you can fly."

"Duh, these wings aren't just for show," Yong chuckles and you are surprised by how lovely it sounds.

"Show-off," you mumble. "Get some sleep."

"Will I see you at dinner tomorrow?" he asks and you are even more shocked by the vulnerability in his voice. As if there is a possibility you'd try to escape again after what just happened… As if you would say no.

"Sure, you will," you promise and you mean it.

Tomorrow comes sooner than expected and you are amazed by how quickly Yong recovered from his wounds. Just dragon things, you suppose. This time around, you spot him trying to eat politely, even though the fork is not exactly of much help. Honestly, he is kind of cute. Wait, what?!

"You feeling better today?" you ask kindly.

"Much obliged, yes," the dragon replies politely.

Oh. He's…somewhat charming, no?

"Glad to hear that. You know…if it had been under different circumstances, it would have been pretty magical to fly with you."

"I couldn't agree more," Yong laughs.

"It kind of reminded me of reading. It truly transports you to another world."

"You like to read?" the dragon eyes you curiously.

"I love it!" you exclaim, happy to be given the chance to talk about something you're passionate about. As you rant about some of the books you've read before coming here, you are stunned to find Yong listening you intently, his dark eyes warming up to a hazel brown.

"I need to show you something," the dragon finally speaks again.

You follow him with interest as he slides through the corridors. Finally, he stops in front of a door.

"Close your eyes," Yong says.

"Why?" you ask suspiciously.

"Do you trust me?"

"Not particularly," you joke.

"Smart girl," the dragon grunts with amusement. Still, you close your eyes obediently and when he finally tells you to open them, you are stunned by the sight of hundreds, no, thousands of books just standing there in a large library.

"Wow. That's…incredible," you manage.

"You can…come here to read whenever you like," Yong suggests calmly.

"Really?" you look at him, eyes blurring with some foreign emotion you haven't felt before.

"Of course. I haven't had the chance to read since…"

Since what? You want to ask, but are too afraid to do so.

"I can read to you!" you offer boldly.

"Yeah?"

"Sure! I love reading out loud!" you explain.

You don't know what comes over you, but you feel so grateful for this opportunity that you wrap your small arms around the dragon's neck in a spontaneous hug.

"Thank you, Yong! Let's read together!" you mumble.

You might be hallucinating but you swear you see something wet coming out of the dragon's big eyes.

As you sit next to the dragon and read him a magical story about amazing adventures, you can't help but think the reality you found yourself in is an adventure in itself.

The days pass and you realize Yong is far more pleasant to talk to than your first impression. He's a good listener and you can tell he is genuinely interested in what you have to say. He always makes sure the meals are to your liking and the fire is warm enough. You can't imagine how lonely he must have felt in this castle to become so guarded. You grow closer to the talking objects, as well. You spend your time either reading in the huge library, eating in the huge dining hall or looking at the stunning red roses in the huge garden. Despite the fact that you've become somewhat attached to this place and the beings in it, you still miss your father. Even your bratty sisters. You wonder how they're all doing. So, you gather all courage you can possibly have and ask the dragon.

"Can I please see my father? I'm really worried about him," you confess.

"Actually, Mark has a power he may have forgotten to tell you about," Yong admits.

You approach the talking mirror, hoping he would grand your request.

"Mirror Mark on the wall, show us Y/N's father," Yong orders.

Mark the mirror obliges and immediately shows you the image of your father. He is sick in bed with no one to look after him. Your sisters are too busy going to balls in shiny dresses, trying to attract suitors. Your heart can't take it.

"Oh, Yong," you cry out. "Please, please, let me take care of him. Just for a couple of days. I promise I'll come back."

You beg him so ardently with tears in your eyes that Yong cannot find it in himself to refuse. He knows everyone's lives are at stake, not just his. But how could he hurt you even more than he already has?

"Alright. I'll fly you back to your village," the dragon suggests gallantly.

"Thank you so much! I will be forever indebted to you, I swear I'll return as soon as my father gets better."

And indeed, Yong lets you climb on his back once again and flies you to your father's home. However, he does not take into account the fact that dragons, while very powerful and majestic, are not invisible. So, during your flight, a lot of evil-minded people see him and join forces with the wicked intent to kill the dragon…

"Please, come back to the castle before the last petal of the rose falls," Yong gives you a little mirror that has powers akin to Mark's. "Just look at it and ask it to show you the rose."

"What will happen when the last petal falls?" you ask, worried by the urgency of his voice.

"Just…make sure you come back," Yong pleads you to promise, so you do, overwhelmed by the fact he let you go to your father in the first place.

With you tending to your father, he is so overjoyed that his sickness gradually starts leaving his body. Your presence also has an effect on your sisters and they try to be more helpful than before. You are so happy to be back with your family that you almost forget to check the little mirror. Eventually, once your father has recovered, you remember your promise.

"Little mirror, show me the rose," you ask.

The mirror grants your wish and your eyes become large as they witness one single petal barely hanging onto the rose.

"Oh, no," you gasp, even though you are not sure what would happen once it falls. But then you remember the pleading in Yong's voice, his kindness and the talking objects telling you how much they need to you…So, you get on the horse once more and hurry back to the castle.

However, when you get to the castle, you find it surrounded by angry people with weapons. What is happening?!

You manage to sneak in through a secret entrance Yong once showed you that leads to the library. As you anxiously run to the dragon's chambers, you realize he isn't there. The talking objects are suspiciously silent, as if unable to speak. Was it all a dream? You begin to panic and rush into the grand hall to find Yong lying there with arrows sticking from his scales.

"No!" you scream in horror and rush towards him.

Then, you spot your suitor whom you'd rejected about a million times but apparently, he couldn't take no for an answer.

"What did you do to him?" you hiss angrily.

"What the monster deserved," the asshole grunts.

"You're the true monster!" you scream.

"Come on, Y/N, let's go back home."

"Over my dead body. Or yours," you vow and do something that is perhaps foolish but you don't have time and you can't think of anything else.

You knock the candelabra to the side with a quiet "Sorry, John" and the fire starts spreading towards the tablecloth and approaches the intruder. Then, seeing as this is not enough to scare him away, you throw the small mirror at him, apologetically, but it does the trick, as it cuts him and he starts to draw back. As if awakened by your vigorous attacks, the talking objects join in and soon, Doyoung the teapot is sending scorching liquid, Mark the mirror is showing horrifying images and Jungwoo the footstool is biting the legs of the fiend furiously.

The intruder goes away running, taking the angry crowd along with him and screaming that this place is cursed by evil demons and they shouldn't have come here.

Though relieved you managed to get rid of the vicious people, you are still worried about Yong's state and you kneel down next to the injured dragon.

"You came," Yong murmurs weakly.

"Of course, I promised you, didn't I?" you insist, tears falling down your face.

"I was afraid you wouldn't. He said you were his fiancée. That's why I didn't fight back. I thought…"

"I could never love someone like him," you shake your head furiously. "Oh Gods, I should have come here sooner."

"Maybe it's for the best…" the dragon sighs exhaustedly. You caress his red scales softly, trying to express how much he means to you.

"No, don't say that! I'm here now, everything will be better."

"I'm glad I got to see you one last time…" Yong reaches out his front limb but it falls to the ground before he could touch your face and his eyes close.

"No, please, no, Yong! Don't leave me! I love you!" you confess through the tears, desperate to keep him with you.

The talking objects stare sadly as the last petal falls off the rose.

You cry with your arms wrapped around the dragon's neck, not wanting to lose him, when suddenly you feel his body exuding an abnormal amount of warmth. You are hesitant to let go but the heat becomes unbearable and you take a step back to assess the situation. Yong starts levitating and a mixture of fire and ice envelops him mid-air. His red-scaled limbs start decreasing in size and changing in texture. His claws slowly start turning into fingers. His majestic tail disappears. You blink in shock, as the dragon's body transforms into that of a human. Finally, you are met with the face of a handsome young man with big beautiful eyes and a jawline sharper than his former claws.

It is obviously still Yong, but you are too surprised to say anything.

"Y/N! It's me, Yong!" he confirms enthusiastically. "Well, Prince Taeyong, actually, but you can call me whatever you like."

"It is you!" you gasp and rush into his arms, hugging him as tight as possible.

He laughs, spins you around and kisses you in relief.

"I can't believe this," Taeyong shakes his head.

All of a sudden, the talking objects also start transforming into awesome humans.

"Look at my long legs!" Johnny the former candelabra exclaims.

"Mom! You look amazing," Haechan, no longer a teacup, grins at Doyoung.

"Still not your mom, you dork," Doyoung chuckles and hugs everyone around him.

"Mark!" Haechan exclaims happily, rushing towards the former mirror.

"Duuude, it's been ages!" Mark is overjoyed to be reunited with his best friend.

"WE ARE NEED COFFEEEE!" Yuta the past wardrobe is thrilled he'll get to experience the small but certain happiness of caffeine.

"Count me in!" Jaehyun the recent mantel clock joins in on the fun.

"Woof!" Jungwoo adds.

"Some things never change," Jaehyun sighs, laughing.

"Come on, admit it, I'm funny," Jungwoo finally speaks in a human voice.

"Hilarious. Now how about we all go walk the mad dog?" Jaehyun suggests.

"Oh, for sure," Doyoung catches on that Jaehyun wants to give you and Taeyong some privacy and plays along, "Come on, gang."

Your friends rush outside into the garden, leaving you alone with Taeyong.

"So…care to explain how you became a dragon and now you're human?" you inquire with a chuckle.

"It's a long story," Taeyong scratches the back of his head nervously.

"Lucky for you, I've got all the time in the world."

"Well then…once upon a time there was a cruel prince who only cared about appearances…"

As Taeyong finishes telling the story, you are met with the realization that it never mattered to you how he looks. Dragon or human, beast or prince, flying or walking, it is his generous heart you fell for. And though it started in a strange way, you are truly grateful you met him and got to know his precious personality. It truly feels like a miracle.

"Can I have this dance, please?" Taeyong asks.

"Provided you give me a kiss," you bargain.

"A dance for a kiss…hardly seems fair," Taeyong jokes.

"Not more fair than a life for a rose," you tease him back, as you dance with him.

"Oh, and what a priceless rose it was," Taeyong laments.

"You are the most priceless rose to me, Yong," you confess, kissing him once more.

The eternal winter is finally replaced by an endless spring. The castle, once covered in snow and surrounded by black clouds, is now bursting with vibrant colours, as the sun's rays hit its windows. Walking hand in hand through the magical garden of roses, you know in your heart that your love story is just beginning.

The End

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

How about Tara and R grew very close, kissed here and there but then Tara friendzones R. R distances herself and only then Tara realizes that she wants more than friendship

We're Gonna Make It Work

5 times Tara and Y/N shared meaningless kisses + one time they actually meant it. Or: A quick 5 + 1 fic!

Disclaimer: certain themes in this story I don't have tons of experience with, so sorry if not everything's accurate. EX: I definitely haven't been to a college party lmao.

Tara and I met on our first day in college. Freshmen year in college is intimidating enough. Freshmen Year in a big city like New York is terrifying.

We bonded quickly, and soon enough I was spending tons of time with her friend group. I even introduced my roommate, Anika to my new friend, Mindy, and now the two are happily dating. It seems I've seamlessly assimilated into their group.

I've always thought she was extremely beautiful. I really don't want to risk the friendship I've worked so hard to build with her. At the same time, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to try.

The first time we kissed it was an accident. That's all it was. An accident.

She was blackout drunk at a party. Mindy and Anika had disappeared into some room. Chad was doing shots in the kitchen. Ethan was at his dorm, doing homework like the "quirky" pick me he is.

So many people crowded the building, dancing terribly to awful music, drunk on cheap booze. The frat house reeked of liquor and the distinct scent of marijuana.

Not to say I wasn't drunk too, though. Just less drunk than everyone else in the group. There was a slight wobble in my step as I walked from the kitchen to the living room, wanting to sit for a split second.

Tara had a three round winning streak at beer pong against some guy I'd never seen before. In the corner of my eye, I could see her downing a cup every 45 seconds or so. Maybe if the alcohol hadn't clouded my judgement, I would have been smart enough to get her away from that sooner.

It wasn't until I saw her wobbling towards the steps with he guy she had just been competing with that I sprang into action.

In retrospect, can see why people call booze liquid courage. Man, if I were sober, there would have been no way I would do what I did next.

"Hey, Tara, your boyfriend's looking for you," I grabbed her away from the clearly less drunk man in front of me. He reached out and grabbed her other arm, "she'll be fine."

"Her boyfriend is a football recruit," I lied, "he'll beat the shit out of your weak ass."

"What?" she slurred, unable to comprehend what I'm saying.

"I said, your boyfriend's here, let's go find him," I repeated, dragging her away from the situation.

"Why did you do thattttt," she whined once we're out of ear shot.

"He was taking advantage of you, you'll thank me in the morning," I told her, "you're a mess, let's get you home."

Luckily, her apartment wasn't far, because I was practically carrying her down the street. She flutters in and out of consciousness, making her balance even less stable.

The elevator ride was painfully quiet, what even is there to say. I opened the apartment door, guiding the barely conscious Tara inside. Immediately, I saw Sam, sitting in the kitchen. Waiting for us.

"Where were you?" she interrogated, "I was scared out of my mind."

"Hey, Sam, she's pretty fucked up right now, maybe you should wait for her to sober up. I'm gonna get her to sleep, okay?" She nods, angrily. I can tell she isn't happy about this.

I walkedvTara down to her room, setting her down on the bed.

"Goodnight, Tara," I smiled, helping her take off her shoes and pulling the blankets up over her.

"Night Night, pretty girl," she pulled my face down for a quick kiss.

What the fuck is happening? I could taste the burning liquor on her lips. She's gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning. I quickly break away, I can't do this while she's drunk.

The second time we kiss, she's actually sober.

It's a silly situation, really.

We're at Rockefeller center, shopping for clothes on sale. They put up the ice rink for the winter. Even though it's technically November, I guess New York doesn't care about technical seasons though.

Tara and I stroll down the pavement, warm coffee in our hands. She's very cute all bundled up in her winter gear. A beanie compresses her bangs, and her winter coat looks nearly suffocating yet not nearly arm enough for a New York winter.

"Fuck," she mumbles, looking behind us.

"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned.

"I need you to kiss me, right now," she commands.

"Damn, at least take me out to dinner first," I laugh awkardly.

"Y/N, shut up and do it, I'll explain later," she pleads. I happily oblige her, allowing her lips to make their way to mine. She caresses my cheek through her gloved hands, and I find myself lost in a daze. She's good at this. Her hands slide down my face to wrap themselves around my neck and she slowly breaks the kiss. A part of me wished it would never end.

"So you wanna tell me what that was about?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Creepy ex, wanted to make sure he didn't think he had a shot," she explains. My face falls. Such an amazing experience, ruined by the context.

"I'm sorry, Tar," I pull her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her.

We kiss for a third time a month later.

"Hi," I smile, walking through the apartment door, "why'd you call?"

"I don't know, I'm just bored I guess," she shrugs.

"Okay," I say. To be honest, I needed something to do with my afternoon, and who better to spend it with.

We decide to put on a movie, Clueless. I found some popcorn in the cabinet, so I decided to microwave some up.

I place the metal bowl between us on the couch. I think if I'm much closer to her I might try to kiss her again.

"So, what have you been doing these past few weeks?" she asks.

"The usual," I respond, "homework, my job, and sleeping. And you?"

"Yeah, just homework," she purses her lips, trying to think.

God what I would give to feel those soft warm lips again.

"No, I've also been reading some weird ass Stephen King book about a guy going crazy."

"So pretty much every Stephen King book?" I ask.

"Not true!" she playfully shoves me, "IT is about multiple people going crazy. The Dark Half is about someone who thinks he's crazy, but also knows he's not. There's lots of non insanity related ones too."

"Nerd," I playfully tease her.

"Shut up," she laughs.

"Make me?" I tease her more.

"Nope, sorry, you gotta earn that," she teases back.

I open a beer for each of us, "It's happy hour somewhere."

"It's 4:30, so we're not doing terribly," she reminds me.

"We're great at this," I joke.

"So great at this."

We go back to the movie, it's such a classic. Other than the ending, it's a perfect movie.

She smiles a priceless smile when Cher assumes Tai doesn't know seven multiplied by seven.

"This girl! I swear, she was a perfect casting for Tatum in Stab!"

"You have a great smile," I muse aloud, quickly regretting it. Damn it. Why did I say that?

"Thank you," I can see a blush creeping up her cheeks as she starts to smile even wider.

The movie seems to fade out of view as does everything else except us. The popcorn bowl is quickly discarded and her lips crash onto mine, kissing with a desperation so strong it's almost aggressive. I immediately reciprocate the kiss, leaning forward to get closer to her.

"If we do this," she pants in between kisses, "there's no strings attached."

I nod in agreement.

We fall into a routine of kissing or hooking up no strings attached. I know friend with benefits never works. Especially if you already have feelings for that person but god, she's irresistible.

There's two notable times after that afternoon when it feels different.

The first time, she's coming out of a rough therapy session.

"Hello, this is Y/N L/N," I answer the phone.

"Hey, Y/N, it's Tara," I can hear her voice crack.

"Hey Tara, what's up?" I ask.

"C-can you come over?" she says, trying to sound nonchalant about it. I see right through her facade.

"On my way, stay safe, pretty girl," I rush to the subway, trying to catch the first train I can to her side of the city.

I practically tear down the door to get into the apartment, there's nothing to do but make a beeline for Tara's room.

"Hey Tar, I'm here," I quietly announce.

She bolts up and wraps herself around me in a near suffocating hug. Her tears soak their way through my shirt, and I caress her hair comfortingly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"No," she shakes her head.

"Can I do anything at all to help?"

"You can distract me," she winks. I nod, a little unsure of what to do.

Is this really the right time to hook up with her? Like she should be in a place of emotional stability to properly consent, right?

"Y/N, I know your like panicking about the morals, but please. Just do it. I need it. Please?" she widens her eyes pleadingly. How can I say no to that?

The next time of note is also the last time.

I've become unhappy with this whole "friends with benefits thing." I know, it was stupid of me to agree to it in the first place. And don't get me wrong, I've had tons of fun. So much fun. But there's limits to our situation.

I want to be able to tell her how I feel, I want strings attached. I want to take her out on dates, and hold her hand in front of our friends.

It's a freezing cold Thursday, I'm so tired. I forgot my textbooks at Tara's apartment after our "study" session last night, so i had to take a subway back to get them, which made me late the the only lecture I was interested in. Damn it.

I had thirty minutes to kill until my next class, so here I am, in the school courtyard, thinking about Tara.

Do I love her? Yes.

Does she love me? I don't know.

Will telling her I need to be more than just friends with benefits risk everything? Yes.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, because right as I'm thinking about this, I see a short brunette making a beeline towards me. I think this means we need to discuss this.

"Hey there, tiny Carpenter," I tease her.

"Shut up!" she gets on the tips of her toes to pat my head.

"Do you wanna come over tonight?" I ask, "Anika and Mindy are having a date night?" I figure then would be a good time to tell her.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur and just a few hours later, I hear Tara's familiar voice at my door.

I take a deep breath, "Hey Tar, can we talk? I ask.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I feel like this isn't working," I admit, it's pretty obvious almost immediately what I'm talking about.

"O-oh," she stammers, "why?"

Oh god this is so awkward, like what are you supposed to say, yeah no I'm in love with you.

"I.... cuz friends with benefits never works out when there's feelings involved," I word vomit.

"Oh...."

"Yeah...."

We sit in an awkward silence.

"Tara, please say something," I say quietly.

"I'm so sorry, I can't do this anymore," she gets up and leaves, but I'm frozen in my seat. Unable to move.

I don't see Tara except in a few classes for at least a month. Though it could have been longer or shorter. Not like I want to see her though.

The days begin to blend together in a big lengthy mess.

I barely turn my assignments in, and the best grade I've gotten was a low C.

I go to parties more often than before. Hooking up with strangers, drinking myself to a blackout and being hungover as hell in the morning.

Anika's voiced her concern for me, but I find it so hard to listen.

I'm just numb.

I don't think I ever felt anything before I met Tara, and I don't think I'll feel anything again without her.

And to think of all the times we've kissed, made out and hooked up. Did those mean anything to her? She barely meets my gaze in class.

We haven't talked at all.

Lying down in my bed, I stare at the ceiling, out of the corner of my eye, I can see the date on the calendar.

March 7. It's been four months since our kiss at Rockefeller. I guess I should just forget about that though.

I hear a quiet knocking on my door, "come in, Anika.

The door slowly creaks open and in steps Tara.

"Hey," she says quietly. I scramble up to my feet, preparing to tell her to get out.

"Before you scream at me and tell me to go away, just let me talk?"

I nod wondering why can I never say no to her. I gesture for her to sit next to me.

"Look, I fucked up," she admits, "friends with benefits almost never works out. And I'm so so sorry. I didn't realize fucking it up would mean hurting you. I really thought about what you said."

"What did I say?" I asked.

"That what we had wasn't working," she says.

"And what have you decided?"

"It wasn't," she reassured me, "but it could."

I'm totally taken aback, "If you think I want to be 'just a friend that you sometimes fuck,' you're crazy, Tara."

"No, I mean a real relationship," she blurts.

"Huh?"

"Y/N, I have feelings for you!" she exasperatedly exclaims.

"Y-you do?" I ask incredulously.

"Yeah, I do," I see a blush creep up her cheeks.

"Well I like you too," I smile. She starts to get closer to me, but I stop her, "Look, give me a week to turn around my mental wellbeing, and I'll take you out on a date. I want to do this, but I want to do it right."

"Take your time," she smiles back, "see ya on Saturday for this 'date' you wanna take me on."

She winks, gets up, and leaves the dorm, blowing me a kiss on the way out.

We're gonna make this work.

[cuppajj]

i read the FAQ post you made for the beast ancients au, but i'm still curious as to how the cacao kingdom... functions, i guess. if at all. frigid cacao has the power to control the licorice sea and its monsters, but... he just sits on his throne and does nothing, right? does he have underlings / followers / people he forced to tend to what's left of the citadel? would his surviving citizens outside of the citadel despise him for what he's let happen to their kingdom and their communities, or are they still holding out to survive for a better future? something in between maybe? i can imagine it would be pretty hard to flee (you said the republic is a safe haven, but it's very far away). considering all of the awful circumstances surrounding their broken world, it doesn't seem like the remaining folks have much left going for them.

(sorry if this was too much at once... i'm half-working on my own oc inserts for this au (as i've seen many others do) so i'm really just trying to clarify this stuff for my own reasons)

it’s been a bit of a slope trying to flesh cacao’s saga out rn so don’t take this as gospel, but i can give you the current ideas i have for now:

The cacao kingdom is very quiet. All citizens who lived outside the citadel have been trapped in permafrost. None can reach out to Cacao, save for his advisors and other staff who have already been answering to him. The cacaoians’ opinion on their king isn’t hate but extreme uncertainty and weariness; they are still loyal to him as is their culture, but they know that he’s changed. It’s not even clear if he’s the one who froze the kingdom over as he’s also the one who prevented the ice from breaching the citadel, and on top of that, him taming the licorice sea (which happened before his corruption) was an incredible and widely celebrated achievement. He’s just eerily hands-off and, well, living up to being the Beast of Solitude.

(i am saying that most cacao citizens are frozen, if there are some alive then they live either in the frozen kingdom outside or within the citadel walls. likely the former since the citadel is still restricted. imagine trying to get by in a kingdom that feels abandoned surrounded by the frozen bodies of people you know, hoping when they’re thawed one day, there’s still life in their eyes.)

the kingdom is isolationist just on the principle that it’s very hard to leave because of the natural barriers (endless blizzards, the permafrost, even stray licorice creatures who patrol the region). you can leave but you need to be prepared to.

think of it as a kingdom where a terrible curse has been placed upon everyone, from the citizens to its king. No one knows how it happened, and all attempts to cry for the king to help have gone unheard. the king seems ill and distant and dangerous, but to consider him the beast he is… many are hesitant. many just want to see him as Dark Cacao.

[gremlin-girly]

I love your blog! Can I get your rank of the CE!Babes?

Oh nonnie 🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much - that means the world 💞💞💞 This really bungled my brain when I read this bc I've never put so much thought into it 💀 It was on my mind for like an hour before bed so it's ridiculously in depth for a rating 💀😭

This is long - it took me longer to rank them than I care to admit because I added reasons why 💀. Colin Shea, Mr Freezy, Mike Weiss and a few others aren't in the ranking because I haven't seen the movies yet x

Some of the answers may shock you

And so, we begin! Going from worst to best.

14. Pete Brenner

Smarm and sleaze. Greasy little man. Good for a ONS but ya best believe it would be the WORST ONS for you. Last place.

13. Andy Barber (Defending Jacob)

Maybe I've read too many of @stargazingfangirl18 's fics but I just not his fan. 🤣 Although - the SUIT? 👀 he gives depressed divorced dad vibes but not in a super sexy way - if that makes sense.

12. Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four 2004)

I do like a guy with charm (as we will see further up the list - it's pretty much charming, asshole, or broody characters lmao) but I always seem to just....forget about him 💀 I think it's partly due to the fact that in the comics he's known to be a cheat and that puts me right off. His jokes and flirting win me over and I do appreciate his goofy/playful side but unfortunately, he's staying put 🥲 it also may be because also I like slightly older guys and he would be around my age

9. Jack O'Malley (Red One)

Sexy divorced dad 😌 A bit of a sleaze like Pete HOWEVER he is goofy enough that I could let it slide. He gets put higher because he learns to be a better person - he has that I could fix him vibe. And by fix I mean less gambling and a shower.

However, if we're talking beginning of the movie, he'd 2000% take advantage of your kindness. You wanna do acts of service? By all means. Expect nothing in return though. (Hence his ranking)

8. James Mace (Sunshine)

Surprisingly low for me! I do love a broody, moody side character HOWEVER I'm terrible at confrontation and yelling (two of Mace's fave things lmao) so he's earned his place here. After yelling at you for something he'd either be a sweetheart realising after you were upset or double down. But you wouldn't exactly want to be subject to it more than once in a blue moon, ygm?

7. Ransom Drysdale (Knives Out)

I am sorry Sweater Daddy but you're best placed here 😔. Three words: Spoiled. Rich. Kid. Which some of the others do fall into BUT Ransom in particular would be a terror, I believe. Partly due to his upbringing but my patientce would TESTED.

If you were nice to Ransom he'd take advantage but potentially feel bad about it.... much, much later. Or, you know, realise that you're soft for him and have no ulterior motives and he will just melt into goo. He's not used to having people be nice without strings 🥺

6. Ari Levinson (Red Sea Diving Resort)

It's the beard. It has to be. Cheeky smile and a wink I'd just melt. That's it. No more to add xoxoxo

The blue shirt though 😫

5. Steve Rogers (MCU)

I THOUGHT SKINNY STEVE WAS HOT TOO 😤 (forever mad at the peanut scene in TFA 😤)

Every Steve is a good Steve imo - one of the first CEvans crushes I ever did have 😚 probably because of the movies there's a lot of interesting aspects to his character (but we will be ignoring the Endgame ending 👀). Honourable, loyal, kind... you know this man is a romantic at heart (but I still eat up dark!Steve fics too). You just know he'd treat you RIGHT 😍

4. Frank Adler (Gifted)

A new addition! I watched Gifted a few weeks ago and I'm??? So soft??? He's a bit of a double threat, grumpy but also charming. And like with my top two I am SOFT for a guy who's good with kids (which is why Andy and Jack don't rank higher 💀). I'm hoping to finish the fic I have for him ASAP.

3. Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man)

This is a very big HEAR ME OUT 💀

I love love love campy villains who are still able to be terrifying. I was unsure about the 'tache at first and thought it would be a completely serious role and was PLEASANTLY surprised that he was just as dramatic, sassy asshole.

So, naturally, I love him.

Also, really well dressed. Apart from the loafers which make me cackle - tights shirt and pants??? Um, yes please? Don't even get me started on the ring.

2. Curtis Everett (Snow Piercer)

Brutish. Giving Stray dog vibes. In desperate need of a cuddle (and shower and hot food). Also one that surprised me, actually. I'd read fics, seen clips but then I watched snowpiercer... and yeah, like Frank I was down bad. Despite writing him with the emotional capacity of a brick, I like to think that he's soft after warming up to you.

Not one for grand gestures but the little things to make you smile or make your day easier.

Oh and also scary dog privilege whenever you go out together 🫶

1. Jake Jensen (The Losers)

I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

Absolutely feral for this man.

Although, I'd probably have to fight @bigtreefest for him

He's nerdy, dorky and although isn't your average charmer, he still manages it. Not to mention funny. 😫🤭 You just KNOW he'd be so focused on YOU and head over heels SMITTEN. Oh and being an involved uncle?? Being invested in his niece/family is just entirely wholesome. (How could you not fall for him?? I mean???)

I'm a big romantic and just it's a wistful sigh and a longing stare when it comes to JJ 😍❤️ I do have a long fic in the works for him and I think rn his collection (besides Steve) is the longest.

I think he's pretty slept on but that's bc I'm down bad 😭💞

Thanks for asking!

[btvs3x21]

I know Faith is a chronic leaver, but Fuffy for 27 angst/fluff prompts please?

writing prompts! (not taking more)

"I'm not leaving." It was the least believable thing Buffy had ever heard. All Faith ever did was leave---leave Boston to find Buffy, leave Buffy's side to bat for the bad guys, leave the hospital where Buffy had put her, leave Sunnydale once she'd taken all Buffy had, leave LA the second Buffy showed up, leave prison to help Angel, not Buffy. Over and over again, Faith left.

Even when she'd said that all it had taken for her to come was word that Buffy needed her, Buffy couldn't accept that.

Faith wasn't a loyal dog. Buffy had learned that the hard way, hollowed out in the library, chained to a wall, on the rooftop with a knife in her hand, in the dreamscape where she was the softest Buffy had ever seen her, in broad daylight when Faith had shown up at UC Sunnydale with a warrant out for her arrest.

Or maybe she just wasn't Buffy's dog.

It still stung like an open wound, even after all this time. Sharing weapons again didn't change that. So Buffy couldn't help but press her thumb hard into Faith's bruise, parallel to Buffy's wound. "Since when do you stay? What happened to get some, get gone?"

Faith swallowed. "Pretty sure that only ever applied to sex, B."

Buffy didn't know why that hurt, but it did.

"Then again, I guess you've been inside me, kinda," Faith said.

It knocked the air from Buffy's lungs. Her fingers twitched. She wanted to touch Faith again. They'd never been very affectionate with each other; they usually only touched each other to trade blows, even when things had been good.

But there had been a few times. The night Faith had dusted Kakistos with Buffy, they hadn't even thought about it before taking each other's hands. When they'd gone to The Bronze with just each other, Buffy hadn't known who'd taken whose hand on the dance floor. Just that she liked it, being close to Faith.

There was no casual way to touch the girl you'd stabbed or to be touched by the girl who'd traded her body for yours.

"I hate when you do that," Buffy said. It was the most honest she'd been with Faith, maybe ever.

Faith bowed her head. It couldn't have been in contrition. She wasn't made that way. Buffy would know.

She kept going. "You make everything a joke. You brush me off and keep me at arm's distance and eventually you leave. You always do."

"I could stop." Faith looked as stunned by that as Buffy felt. "For you. I could stay. If you wanted me to."

"I want you." It came out of Buffy's mouth fully-formed before she even thought it. "To stay. This time. I need---I can't do it without you."

"You've only got a couple dozen Slayer sisters now." Faith's words were bittersweet as she looked anywhere but at Buffy.

Buffy shook her head, frustrated all over again. "I don't want them. It's not the same. We're the chosen two, aren't we?"

Faith blinked. It had been so many years ago now that she'd said that. "Yeah. I guess we are."

"So none of them get it. Not like you. Not like me."

"And you hate that."

It wasn't entirely untrue.

"But it's true. I've never been in their dreams."

Faith exhaled sharply. "Guess not. I've never been in their shoes."

Buffy let out a short laugh. "It was more than my shoes, Faith." She could still remember how terrible it had felt to be Faith. How much worse it had felt to come back to herself as Faith left.

"Sorry about that." Faith shifted. "Don't beat me to death for apologizing."

Buffy's mouth twitched into a smile.

Faith's mirrored it.

"I don't trust you to stay. But I want you here."

"You gonna put a leash on me then?" Faith raised an eyebrow.

Buffy could feel the heat of blood in her cheeks. She decided to say it anyway. "If I have to."

Faith laughed. "You'll get sick of me. We never can get along for too long."

"I'll take my chances. Just---you're not allowed to leave again." She wouldn't let Faith leave this time.

[fandomtherapy44]

Castiel x reader Chapter 16

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel x reader

word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Guns

AN/ Hey Ya'll so I did notice that it's been a month since I've updated this series sorry for that. This is the longest I've written in a while so that's part of the reason why it took so long. Anywho hope you enjoy especially Cas's and Y/n Renion.

Chapter 16: Good God Ya'll

POV: Y/n “Alright, it looks like you can go home.” The doctor said while putting her supplies away. “Great thanks doc.” She stops and seems to peer into my soul. “You know I have never seen a heart attack like yours I mean you're twenty-four, fit, don’t smoke it just doesn’t make sense.” Yeah I know but it's not like I can tell her that Angels exist and that they all pretty much hate me. “Uh yeah crazy.” I walked to the door. “You must have a guardian Angel.”  She jokily said. Oh, you have no idea.

I stepped into Bobby’s doorway to his room he was in his wheelchair just staring out the window. “Hey, what did the Doc say?” Sam asked me. “All good thanks to Cas.” Speaking of him where the Hell is he. Dean comes to us carrying an envelope. “It's been like three days now?” Sam and I both sighed. “We got to cheer him up. Maybe I'll give him a backrub.” “Dean” Again Sam and I both said. “Look...we might have to wrap our heads around the idea that Bobby might not just bounce back this time.” I mean he’s right this kind of news you don't just get drunk and forget about it.

“What's in the envelope?” I nod at the paper. “Went to radiology.” He pulls out the X-ray. “Got some glamour shots.” It was his ribs and it had Enochian engraved in his bones. “Is that why I feel like I have the worst heartburn ever.” I pointed to the picture. “Yup, curtsy of Cas apparently no demon or Angel can find us” Okay does not mean him too? Then Sam’s phone rings. “Hello? ...Castiel?” CASTIEL! “Speak of the devil.” “Ah, St. Martin's Hospital. Why? What are you—Cas?” Cas had hung up on Sam. And the Angel walks up to us. “Castiel…” I just got lost in my thoughts staring at him.

“Y/n I'm glad to see that you're doing well.” That’s it! He must have something on his mind. “Cell phone, Cas? Really? Since when do angels need to reach out and touch someone?” Dean questioned. “You're hidden from angels now—all angels. I won't be able to simply—” He tried to explain. “Enough foreplay.” Bobby announced from his chair. “Get over here and lay your damn hands on.” “I can't.” What? “Say again?” He spun in his chair.

“I'm cut off from heaven and much of heaven's power. Certain things I can do. Certain things I can't.” What about me then? “You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?” I can see Castiel is sad that he can’t help. “I'm sorry.” “Shove it up your ass.” I feel terrible for Cas and Bobby.”At least he's talking now.” Dean commented to Sam and me. “I heard that.” “I don't have much time. We need to talk.” Cas directed to Dean. “Okay.” “Your plan to kill Lucifer.” “Yeah. You want to help?” “No. It's foolish. It can't be done.” Cas does really not have any fucks to give.

“Oh. Thanks for the support.” “But I believe I have the solution. There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse.” We are wondering who he’s talking about. “Who's that?” “The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God.” Okay God right I mean why not. “I'm gonna find God.”

Dean closes the door so people don’t think we're insane. “God?” “Yes.” “God.” “Yes! He isn't in heaven. He has to be somewhere.” Cas sounded so sure. “Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla.” Dean said and poor sweet Cas did not get the joke. “No, he's not on any flatbread.” “Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory—” “He is out there, Dean.” “—or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us.” Cas just glares.

“I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally—at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?” “Enough. This is not a theological issue. It's strategic. With God's help, we can win.” he really believes. “It's a pipe dream, Cas.” Cas gets very close to Dean. “I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.” Damn, I don't think I've ever seen Cas like that before.

“You didn't drop in just to tear us a new hole. What is it you want?” Bobby voiced. “I did come for something. An amulet.” A necklace? “An amulet? What kind?” “Very rare. Very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence. It'll help me find him.” “A God EMF?” Sam questioned. “Well, I don't know what you're talking about. I got nothing like that.” Bobby shrugged his shoulders. “I know. You don't.” Cas turns to Dean. He looks down at Dean’s necklace. “What, this?” “May I borrow it?” Cas asked politely.

“No.” “Dean. Give it to me.” Dean is silent, he looks at me and I nod my head. “All right, I guess.” He takes it off. And hestionly gives it to Cas. “Don't lose it. Great. Now I feel naked.” Cas now has the necklace. “I'll be in touch.” He goes to walk out of the room. “CAS wait up!” 

He is very quick on his feet I guess having wings would help with that. I caught up to him and grabbed his wrist to pull him into a room ironically it was the chapel. We just stood staring at each other a little. I couldn't believe that he was here. I finally shake out of my trance-like state. And go to hug him tight like he would disappear in my fingers. And he does the same. “Cas were you really …. Dead?” I say right next to his ear. An answer came that I never hoped to hear.

“Yes.” A tear slips down my cheek and I squeeze him harder. We let go of each other slowly. We sat down on the pews. “So do you really think God will help us?” “I'm here aren't I” I sigh and process everything. “Ok, we will get God’s help then.” “Y/n do you really believe in this plan?” He wasn't just asking as a tactic to win this war but as my friend.

“I believe in you Cas yes God brought you back but you are the one who is fighting actively with us so no matter what remember that.” “Thank you Y/n, I must go start the search.” “Ok but now that you can’t just pop in where I am please use your phone that I gave you for that very reason” I finish with a smile. He gives me one back and files off.

When I was gone Rufus had called Bobby sounding really in trouble and something about Demons. We drove up to this bridge in Colorado and it looked like a tornado had walked through. “This is the only road in or out.” Great. “Looks like we're going to put those scout skills that we never learned to use boys. Let’s Go!” I grabbed my pack and gun and we were off.

We walked into the town slowly and lets just that tornado had walked over and full on ran through. Cars flipped over store doors open … blood in lots of places. Sprilikers on for hours. I had been in haunted places before but I have never felt a chill in my body like this. We are checking out this car when we hear a gun cuck and we turn around. It’s Ellen.

“Ellen hey!” I go to hug her but she raises the gun to my face. Dean gets in between us. “That’s far enough.” “Ellen, what the heck's going on here?” And in response, she throws holy water at Dean. I have to hold back my snicker. “We're us.” He says annoyed, whipping off his face. We walked to a church where the survivors of whatever happened held up. When Ellen knew we were safe she threw herself onto me first for a hug. When she hugged Dean and she pulled back she slapped him.

“You can't pick up a phone? What are you, allergic to giving me peace of mind the only one to call is Y/n. I got to find out that you're alive from Rufus?” Dean seems surprised by her care. “Sorry, Ellen.” “Yeah, you better be. You better put me on speed dial, kid.” “Yes, ma'am.” All of us go to the church basement and theirs a demon trap in front. “What's going on, Ellen?” I ask. “More than I can handle alone.” “How many demons are there?” Sam asks in almost bewilderment. “Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys.” Holy shit Demons are having super bowl parties.

“So, this is it, right? End times? It's got to be.” Ellen states. “Seems like it.” Sam replies back. Ellen knocks on the door and the makeshift peephole cover gets moved. “It's me.” Someone opens the door and we're let in, the people in here look like they've been through… war. They all look normal and one of them is pregnant. Peachy just peachy.

“This is Sam and Dean, Y/n. They're hunters. Here to help.” A guy who looks like he's the most confident out at of everyone comes up to us. “You guys hip to this whole demon thing?” “We have some experience.” I answered laughing inside. There was another man in glasses sitting at the table who looked especially like he had seen something. “My wife's eyes turned black. She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal.” Yeah, I would too.

“All right, catch us up.” Dean told Ellen. “I doubt I know much more than you. Rufus called. Said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Me and Jo were nearby—” What? Now that’s a surprise. The last time I knew she would rather have Jo be a Barmaid than a hunter! “You're hunting with Jo?” “Yeah, for a while now. We got here, and the place—well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then me and Jo got separated. I was out looking when I found you.” Well, that’s great.

“Don’t worry Ellen we’ll find her” I touched her arm in a comforting way. She gave me a small smile in return. “Either way, these people cannot just sit here” Sam said looking at everyone. Especially the pregnant woman. “We got to get them out now.” “No, it's not that easy. I've been trying. We already made a run for it once.” “So we just reverse the plan-” Ellen stopped me. “Sweetie we used to have twenty.” My eyes widened. “Well, there's four of us now—” Dean tried again.

“You don't know what it's like out there. Demons are everywhere. We won't be able to cover everybody.” “What if we get everyone guns?” Sam suggested. “Sam you want to give walking nursery over there one she won’t make it five feet without going into early labor.” I said to him hoping to slap some sense into him. “More salt we can fire at once, more demons we can keep away.” Of course, it didn’t work when did my brothers ever listen to me!? “Fine everyone but her I'll carry two guns” I could tell Sam was ashamed but he was right, unfortunately. Dean broke our tension.

“There's a sporting goods store we passed on Main on the way in. I bet they got guns.” “All right. You stay. We'll go.” Sam said to Ellen. “What about—” I pulled Ellen into a hug. “Ellen if she’s out there I promise to bring her back.” She had tears in her eyes but kept them back to be strong. “Thank you Y/n.” I squeezed her arms and followed my brothers. 

We stop outside the door well Dean stopped us. “Why don't we just go?” Dean directed to Sam about him and I. “What? Just you and N/n?” Sam clapped back. “Well, yeah. Somebody's got to stay here and start giving them Shotgun 101.” “Yeah. Ellen.” Sam starts to go but Dean stops him again. “No no no. It's gonna go a lot faster if you stay and help, okay?” “While you and Y/n split up to go get guns and salt and look for Jo and Rufus? That's stupid.” “Dean We’ll be okay.” “Thanks N/n.” But Dean was stubborn. “You don't want me going out there.” Sam realized. “I didn't say that.” “Around demons.” “I didn't say that.” “Fine, then let's go.” Sam stopped upstairs and Dean gave me an uneasy look.

Dean and I had gone to go look for Guns while Sam was getting salt. “Ok come on let me have it.” Dean said to me. “I don’t know what you're talking about.” I looked at the shotguns not looking up at him. “Y/n I know you, your silence speaks louder than your words so spit it out.” “Dean, I can't tell you how to feel about this.” “But you're judging me.” “No, I'm not.” I put the bag of guns on the table and filled it. I could tell he was still thinking that.

“Dean I think you're feelings about this whole demon blood situation is right but Sam deserves our sympathy with him.” “But he!-” “I know what he did I was there. But he’s our brother and I am going to choose to believe that he can handle this and if he can’t then I'll be with him every step of the way.” I stopped to take a breath. “I hope you choose that too.” I picked up the bag and walked out.

We went to the store to check on sam and when walked in the scene was not good. Sam was bent over a body looking at the blood dripping off the blade like it was liquid drugs. “Sammy?” He drops the knife. 

The basement air had grown stronger with tension more and more the longer we were stuck down here and now seeing Sammy Dean was on edge. Teaching everyone shotgunning quickly is harder than it sounds. “Miss, can you show me?” It was the pregnant woman. “Mahm what’s your name?” “Caddy.” “Caddy, do you know the gender and name?” she smiled looking down at her bump, and that right there I knew I wouldn't be able to live if I let her out there. “A girl and her name will be Andra”

“That’s a beautiful name and Andra is the reason why I can't let you go out there.” She looked shocked. “But I can fight.” “I know you can Caddy but if you got hurt then you may never know your kid and I won't allow that.” She sat down tears in her eyes. “I'll fight for you double-fisting it so don’t worry the demons will get it no matter what.” I tried to add a little humor to it. “Thank you.” “Don’t mention it.”

“I'll be back.” I overheard Ellen say. I got straight up. “Where are you going?” “I can't sit here on my ass. My daughter's out there somewhere. I'm not back in half an hour, go. Get these people out of here.” Before I can say anything Sam speaks up. “No, wait. I'll go with you.” “Whoa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?”  My two brothers walked out. And I could hear the arguing. Suddenly the door pops open. Dean is up against the wall and Sam is holding him there. “If you actually think I—” Sam was getting emotional and they were talking about the demon blood.

With Sam and Ellen gone the pastor was reciting prayers like crazy. And Dean was thinking, walking back and forth. Someone pounds on the door Dean goes to open it and there is Ellen. “Ellen, what happened Where's Sam?” I asked, seeing her state telling me that she had taken a punch. She doesn't answer me and just sits down.

“They took him? Demons took him? Oh my god. What if they're in here? The demons?” Caddy got very worried. “Caddy don't worry they can't get past that door.” I pointed. Dean grabbed a shotgun and was going to leave. “Everybody sit tight. I got to—” He glanced back at everyone and saw their faces and knew he couldn't leave them like this. “Okay, we need to get a plan together. Tell me everything.” He sat down and tells the pastor and he gave me a nod of his head like, don’t worry.

“Guys, one of them's in Jo. We got to get it out without hurting her.” Well, now it's personal. Ellen snorts, laughing at something. “It called me a bitch.” “Ok no offense Ellen but I've been called worse because I took the last hot dog at seven eleven,” I responded. “No, that's not what I meant. It called me a black-eyed bitch.” Dean and I hear and either these demons are looking in mirrors or something fishy is going on.

“What kind of demons are these? Holy water and salt roll right off. My daughter may be an idiot, but she's not stupid. She wears an anti-possession charm. It's all kind of weird, right?” Ellen commented putting the pieces together. “The whole thing's off.” Dean finished. “What's your instinct?” Mine would be call Cas but I know he’s trying to look for God or whatever. “My instinct? My instinct is to call Bobby and ask for help. Or Sam.”

“Well, tough. All you got's me and N/n, and all we got's you. So let's figure it out.” “You know I agree with Ellen Dean.” “All right.” “Ellen do you know why Rufus came was there a specific sign or?” I asked. “He said something about water. That's all I know.” Water? “Padré, you know what she's talking about—the water?” Dean asked the pastor. “The river. Ran polluted all of a sudden. Last Wednesday. And the demon thing started up the next day.” Interesting. “Anything else anything at all?” “Maybe, but it's pretty random.” “Trust me Austin in this life nothing is random.” he takes in my own words. “Shooting star—does that count?”

The three of us look at each other in knowing. “Real big. Same night. Wednesday.” “That definitely counts.” Dean goes over to the bookshelf and grabs one of the many Bibles. And flips through the pages till he finds the right one. “"And there fell a great star from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell upon the river, and the name of the star was Wormwood. And many men died."” I leaned down on the table thinking about it.

“I don’t know about you guys but that sounds like a giant ass warning sign of the apocalypse.” “Y/n’s right.” Dean agreed with me. “And these specific omens, they're prelude to what?” “The Four Horsemen.” The pastor responded. “And which one rides the red horse?” Dean questioned. “War.” war!? War. “Dean that sweet ride that was parked on main street the red Mustang.” I pointed out and he shook his head in agreeance. “If War is a dude and he's here, maybe he's messing with our heads.” “Turning us on each other.” Ellen concluded. “You said Jo called you a black-eyed bitch. They think we're demons, we think they're demons. What if there are no demons at all and we're all just killing each other?” I asked everyone in general to everyone. 

“So now you're saying that there are no demons and war is a guy.” Austin vocalized and he was right, our lives sound like they were ripped from a cheesy early two thousand TV show. “You believed crazy before.” Dean voiced back. Then there was another slamming on the door. It was Roger which is weird because I don't remember leaving.  “I saw them, the demons. They know we're trying to leave. They said they're gonna pick us off one by one.” “Wait wait wait. What?” Dean proclaimed our thoughts.

“I thought you said there were no demons.” “Austin there's not, okay.” I told him. “I thought someone should go out and see what's going on!” Oh come on! If I did not know about the supernatural world I would be pissing my pants right now! “They're gonna kill us unless we kill them first!” Roger responded in panic. “Guys please hold on!” “No, we got people to protect. All right, the able-bodied go hunt some demons.” Austin said straight back at me. He grabbed the shotguns.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Slow your roll. This is not a demon thing.” Dean tried to stop him.  Out of t the corner of my eye, I see Roger twist a ring on his finger. Fuck it's him. “Look at their eyes! They're demons!” He pointed at us and I'm sure we looked like demons. Caddy gasps. No no! “Caddy!-” But before I could get another word out Dean pulls me out of the room and a gunshot almost hits us.

“Okay this is plan you and Ellen get Jo and I'll get Rufus.” Dean whispered to us. We nodded and went to them.Ellen sets off the bomb. Jo walks a little close to window and Ellen grabs her and pins her to the wall. Of course she tries to fight. “Now you listen up, Joanna Beth Harvelle.” Ellen pulled the full name card. “Jo its us!” “Get off of me bitches!” “Jo if we were demons we would have disaboled you by now!” I try to reason. She listens. “N/n?” “Yes!” 

Now both of them didn’t want to kill us we could talk. “We all on the same page?” Ellen asked. Rufus and Dean nod. “Good.” “Hi, Jo.” “Hey.” Ok sensing tension between these two I'll pin that for later. “Okay, we got to find War before everybody in this town kills each—” Gunshots. Everyone ducks. “Damn it! Where's Sam?” Dean yells. “Upstairs.” I let him go, I had a feeling that Caddy needed help. They have the horseman and I have the people.

Ellen and I tried to sneak out to the battlefield but it was pretty hard with bullets flying through the air. “Caddy! Caddy, you have to get out of here!” “No, you're a demon!” “Caddy if I was a demon I would want you out here!” she was going to say something else but I saw a person behind her holding a handgun.

“CADDY!” I push her out of the way and a bullet goes into my arm and I'm pushed back on the ground by the force. I don’t even have time to look at my wound before the guy gets on top of me with a knife. He’s about to stab me in the heart but I catch his wrists before he can slam down. I'm slowly losing strength and the knife is slowly going down. I’m sorry guys, Cas.

The blade is about to go in my chest when the guy stops. “What the fuck!!” He gets off. “Yeah me too dude.” I breathe deeply. “Y/n! Are you okay?” CAddy asked me. “Nothing a little dirt won’t fix.” I simled to hide my pain. “You saved me.” “It was nothing.” She pulls me into a hug. “Yes, it was.” 

It feels surreal to be at such a wonderful beautiful place when the day was so ugly and stressful. I was sitting at the picnic table with my brothers twirling the ring in my hands. “So, pit stop at Mount Doom?” Dean broke the silence. “Dean—” “Sam, let's not.” “No, listen. This is important. I know you don't trust me.” Dean looks away and I nudge him to bring him back. “Just, now I realized something. I don't trust me either.” We both look at him.

“From the minute I saw that blood, only thought in my head...and I tell myself it's for the right reasons, my intentions are good, and it, it feels true, you know? But I think, underneath...I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem's not the demon blood, not really. I mean, I, what I did, I can't blame the blood or Ruby or...anything. The problem's me. How far I'll go. There's something in me that...scares the hell out of me, Dean Y/n. In the last couple of days, I caught another glimpse…” “So what are you saying?”

“I'm in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways.” I think he's right if he needs time. “Well, I think you're right.” Dean responded and Sam and I were both surprised. “I was expecting a fight.” “Me too.” “The truth is I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. And I just, I can't afford that, you know? Not now.” I feel like Dean is still avoiding his feelings but that's up to him. “I'm sorry, Dean.” “I know you are, Sam.”

“So Y/n which one of us do you want to go with. I thought for a minute and then I came back with an answer. “I think a little separation will be good for us all to sort through our own feelings without anyone else's opinion mixing in our own.” I want Dean to really think by himself. “Where will you go?” They both ask me. “With Ellen and Jo if they are okay with that.” Sam stands up and hugs me. “But you better still call me that threat could still happen.” I tease. “You too Dean.” “Yeah, I know my little sister can kick my ass.” He said as he hugged me. 

Jo and Ellen are packing up a truck. “Hey, N/n came to say goodbye?” Ellen asked. “Um actually the opposite and I totally understand if you don't want to but I was wondering if you had space for an extra hunter for a while.” Ellen throws me a pack in response. “Well come on we just got word on a possible vamp nest in Texas.” Jo smiles and we get in the truck. I roll down the window and just hope that this time apart will bring us together. 

AN/ Hope you all enjoyed and don't worry the siblings will be back together soon enough. See you Ya'll next time Xoxo Gossip Girl:)

[notmorbid]

twin peaks: season 1.

dialogue prompts from season one of twin peaks.

is this going to happen every damn time?

now means now.

i thought the only time you cared about was making time.

i'll see you in my dreams.

don't do anything i wouldn't do.

come on, cowboy, light your fire.

i thought i was your little pick-me-up.

quit worrying and start scurrying.

nice day for a picnic.

don't walk away from me like that.

you're not telling anybody anything.

buy you a coffee?

i've never seen so many trees in my life.

have any trouble finding the place?

the whole town's really badly shaken up.

what kind of fantastic trees have you got growing around here?

i told you i had a feeling we'd see ___ again.

you gonna let me in on whatever the hell is going on here?

don't tell me where i ought to be.

muffle it, junior.

i'm not your friend.

i sure know how to pick 'em, huh?

i don't need any damn sympathetic anything.

is there some law against having a picnic?

who are you protecting?

what kind of cigarettes do you smoke?

you're not drinking and driving, are you?

the best-laid plans of mice and men...

don't do it for me. do it for yourself.

there's liable to be a little trouble this evening.

you want me to follow at a discreet distance?

i changed my mind. i'm not sorry.

do your palms ever itch?

who would do a thing like that?

guess why i'm so happy today.

you woke us crying in your sleep last night.

if we tell the truth, we don't have to get our stories straight.

we got places to go and people to see.

i think now i understand how you feel about ____.

don't drink that coffee! you'd never guess: there was a fish in the percolator.

don't 'sweetheart' me, you old dog.

i respect your rebellious nature.

the quieter we become, the more we hear.

you think you got problems?

let's get the hell out of here.

i was up all night working on that invention.

you cannot come by here like this.

it's not the first time and it won't be the last, but i'm in that doghouse again.

god, i love this music.

i've seen some slipshod, backwater burgs, but this place takes the cake.

you don't know what you've done for me.

i told them you were on your world tour and they should contact your press agent.

get your boots off my bed and go to your room.

what is going on in this house?

i mean it like it is. as it sounds.

when i saw the face of god, i was changed.

let's rock.

where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there's music in the air.

thank you for talking to me.

let me tell you about the dream i had last night.

do you know where dreams come from?

i've got compassion running out of my nose, pal.

stupidity is not a necessarily inherent trait.

i do not suffer fools gladly, and fools with badges, never.

the old rustic sucker punch, huh?

in ceremony begins understanding.

don't be afraid. we will all be there together.

sounds like you've been snacking on some of the local mushrooms.

what are you looking at? what are you waiting for?

you damn hypocrites make me sick.

save your prayers. ___ would have laughed at them, anyway.

this must be where pies go when they die.

there's something evil out there. something very, very strange in these old woods.

something horrible is going to happen.

they want to hurt me. i know it.

be a man about it. ask me to my face.

i'm a terrible person. i pretend that i'm not, but i am.

people think of me as their friend. the truth is, i really don't care.

nothing is going to happen to you. not now, not ever. not while i'm around.

do you believe in the soul?

you always said you could never tell us apart.

in real life there is no algebra.

maybe you should run away and join the circus.

i swear on my life, i have changed.

the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line.

not too many secrets left around here.

i've got one man too many in my life, and i'm married to him.

there isn't all the time in the world. i see that now.

to be perfectly honest, i'm tired and a little on edge.

i can't believe you were ever my age.

i have to put gas in my car like everyone else.

maybe that's our trouble. we never want to hurt anyone. we never just take what we want.

i got your note. are you alright?

you little fruit loop.

they move so slowly when they're not afraid.

i've got tea, i've got cookies. no cake.

shut your eyes and you'll burst into flames.

fire is the devil, hiding like a coward in the smoke.

you're not going to hurt me again.

what you need right now, more than anything else, is a friend.

secrets are dangerous things.

i don't appreciate your attitude.

i'm a little better at faces than names, i guess.

you think people really change?

every day, once a day, give yourself a present.

mother always said i was born lucky.

no names. you don't offer and you don't ask.

there used to be something caring between us.

i never should have taken you up to that house on the hill.

if somewhere under all that scar tissue there's the faintest flicker of what we used to feel for each other, i'm asking you to feel that now.

given what i've become and the way i've treated people, there's no one else i can turn to.

i can't blame you for dreaming.

i always talk too big. that's my biggest fault.

what kind of dangerous game have you been playing?

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

YOU have a very interesting take on sokeefe. you don't just love every part of it- please elaborate, your tags on anti sokeefe posts are FASCINATING

THIS TOOK FOREVED IM SORRY ILYSM FOR THIS AHDJDLFKWNKDJF

I think one majorly important thing about sokeefe is that precious bond they have with each other. In fact, that's what makes me love the ship so much. It's truly stunning to see such a natural love built on years of trust and support. They clearly display so many different ways of loving, whether it be emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. The way that Shannon captured them is something I'm not sure I've seen anyone else do the same way.

Sophie ignores her feelings for Keefe for the majority of the series and writes it off due to insecurity. And Keefe knew that. Yet, instead of just telling her how she felt, he decided to let her decide how to act. To not rush her or pressure her. To let her make her own decision. He held himself back and let her be with his best friend without telling her, which many adults couldn't bring themselves to do. But he did it for HER. Because he loved her, whether he said it or not. How terrifying must it have been for Keefe to be so vulnerable as to fall for someone when that had made him hurt so much in the past? How terrifying must it have been for SOPHIE, who'd not let herself realize she fell until she was far too gone to come back from this unscathed?

The two are often very physical with each other, from the constant support of holding one another's hand to the gripping hugs late at night when their sobs are louder than their family's disappointment. Not only do they show how they feel about each other with touch, but also with general body language. The comfort of Keefe turning her head gently to look at him. The way they relax around each other, their facial expressions and their hands involuntarily grabbing the other's without a moment's notice. The display of casualty hidden within the deep depths of their relationship. They even manage to think about each other with the same sort of intensity, the determination to keep the other alive and the sheer desperation not to lose the other. They're reliant on each other's safety, not because their lives would be in danger without them, but because a huge part of their happiness would.

The two often joke around with each other, but they know when to stop. They know when it's time to get serious, to remind the other of how high they think of them and how much they care for them. How they'll always be at each other's side. Their words say "I love you" for them. And while they're in terribly traumatic situations and had such different backgrounds, they're the only ones who understand each other. They're absolute foils who were born to be enemies and fell for each other anyway. Their relationship is a beautiful one, but it's also one that's extremely fragile.

Sokeefe's relationship could go wrong in many ways. There are multiple paths towards a toxic relationship that would be really easy for their canon characters to fall into. For example, while for now they help each other stay brave and empathetic, their vulnerability towards each other makes them more prone to toxicity. They're both known for being reckless. How easy would it be to accidentally get the other to do something terrible? Would killing a random Neverseen member be self-defense? Would that really help anyone in the long run? They're traumatized kids forced to lead, like a malfunctioning toy released before it was fixed. They have no idea what they're doing if you really think about it. Who are they to advise the other?

Another issue I've noticed is one that's super minimal now but could become a huge issue. Sophie, being a relatable teen girl, likes apologies for things that hurt her, even if she knows it's technically not the other person's fault. She's not going around asking for apologies that aren't warranted, but she's accepting them. And that usually doesn't matter much, but it does with someone like KEEFE. Keefe, who blames himself for things that aren't his fault because it's all he knows. He feels so guilty for his and his family's existence that he takes it out on himself. And that could turn into a problem. Because a boy who apologizes for everything he didn't do doesn't fit well with a girl who accepts them. Sophie would never want Keefe to blame himself for things more, but she could inadvertently cause it with ease.

On top of all of that, they often struggle with looking at each other realistically and being truly reliable about the other. Keefe doesn't think Sophie's perfect; don't get me wrong. Part of the appeal of Keefe is that he sees her flaws and still loves her through them. But he also doesn't do much to help her fix said flaws. Perhaps it's out of his own insecurity in thinking he has no place to judge others because he believes he's worse, but my point stands nonetheless. And Sophie often forgives too easily, which lowers her own standards while also making sure Keefe can't grow from his mistakes because no one's acknowledging them. They seem to move too fast at times, and slowing down could really help. Get therapy and learn to bite the bad habits in the ass, in a way.

Another interesting aspect of their relationship are the parallels of their own to others. A loyal girl desperate to believe the man she loves is good, even when he keeps doing wrong? A girl who doesn't realize there's a difference between good and right until it's far too late? I think we all saw the ruedacted/ Lodestar sokeefe parallels. And if you took any koralie interaction and changed the names out? Sokeefe moment. It's just so easy for them to end tragically, but they're so desperate for it to work out. They're walking on the most delicate of ice for a chance that they can meet in the middle. They're running across a tightrope, hoping they don't fall to the ground. They're pulling at the web in hopes that they don't get stuck in its fabric, but they ALWAYS do. Sokeefe is a beautiful relationship built on trust and love, but trust and love don't always mean something is good for you. Their entire existence is truly a bittersweet delicacy only to be enjoyed by the most careful of takers.

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

ep 11 the outsiders thoughts let's GO

not even gonna say it. but know I'm thinkin it real real hard

haven't seen scout OR cherry in a hot minute. or much of pony to be honest. more please!!

guys. it's still 240p :( can't see SHITTTT booo

'can't marry a guy you don't love' the curtis brothers whose definitions of love rely so much so on the example their parents set for them you make me sick. n I love you.

SODA N HIS FUCKIN PRETTY FRILLY APRON IM THINKIN ABOUT YOU ALWAYS

pony makin fun of soda n singin a lil song. brothers of all time. good lord. DARRY GIGGLIN AT HIM AOUGH

darry sayin he'd rather a worker then a dreamer any day n pony stopped gigglin IMMEDIATELY to be like HEY. you can be BOTH. most in character thing I've ever seen

how often darry is quotin their parents AOUGH

this guy is tryin to get Darry to buy into this land deal but I'm way too distracted by darry servin insanely hard to focus

'five thousand? oh yeah I just got it in my other pants. last time I saw 5 thousand bucks was on a game show' I dunno somethin about how he delivers this line is very mason mccormick to me

'I wanna be independent. like you' DARRY? look. yes. but also. he's literally a single mom that works two jobs. he didn't CHOOSE to be independent. his folks DIED KNUCKLEHEAD

where the hell does darry think he's gonna get this money.

I love the fact that two is always just. at the dx. Steve WORKS here. why is TWO here.

'im gonna win that beach vacation. n I'm gonna take my two buddies down there' STEVE SODA TWO TRIO I WOULD DO ANYTHIN FOR YA

IS STEVE WEARIN A CROP TOP

pony is so zonked out. man isn't payin a BIT of attention.

AW randy encouragin pony to ask cherry out. also pony drinkin the rest of his coke like a shot before he asks cherry out. aough.

hes so bashful. I love him. he's so uh. um. sorry. uh. AOUGH. I love that kid.

darry walkin around the house on the phone absently kickin at the floor n like whisper shoutin 'I KNOW I know. I know they're gonna ask alot of questions. I can answer them' Boyd gave darry so many kid like mannerisms it's so important to me

SODAS FRILLY APRON AGAIN

soda just got a telegram sayin he won the poster boy thing. there is no way right. like. this has to be Steve n two's doin right. he's so cute tho like absolutely JUMPIN around

SCOUT APPEARANCE

soda absolutely MOPIN that he hasn't heard anythin back. most cartoonish I've ever seen.

OH. I was right this is Steve n two's doin. insane prank. soda is gonna lose his MIND. however Steve n two gigglin AW.

AWWW BUCK SINGIN SODAS PRAISES IS SO SWEET.

wait this is kinda mean. two n steve u are gonna break his HEART.

THE FIRST THING SODA WANTS TO DO WITH HIS PAYCHECK IS SOMETHIN FOR DARRYS BIRTHDAY AOUGHH HES GONNA GET HIM A COLOR TV SO HE CAN WATCH FOOTBALL AWWW

oh shit. soda n a credit card. bad. awful. terrible combo.

the way buck talks about the credit card is so funny. worst thing since the atom bomb. ends marriages. changes the world. evil. worst thing since the invention of money. anyways. here ya go

sodas unfortunately very funny. like. he's actually so cute. I want to pick him up n put him in a jar.

ohhh no. soda. no. soda do NOT buy anythin else with that card he's stressin me out

AOUGH SODA N CHERRY FRIENDSHIP

THEIR DAD HAD A HORSE??? wait. my god. I'm gonna be sick. wait. their dad literally had the same thing with a horse as soda did with Mickey. what the hell. HE GOT HIS LOVE OF HORSES FROM HIS DADDD

there is no way. darry would not go to get a loan like this n put up all their savings like that. I just do not feel it in my bones.

why is two HERE again. just dickin around at the dx while Steve works AGAIN

soda just runnin loose with bucks credit card while Steve n two have to hunt him down actually perfect plot line. no notes.

SODA WALKIN WITH THE HORSES AOUGH COWBOY SODA I LOVE YOU

this is so sad actually. soda actually doesn't have any money n he thinks he's gonna be able to buy a horse apugh

oh SHIT. sodas bill goin to their house n darry bein like hell no we didn't buy all this lemme see who signed. n it is. in fact. his younger brother.

'it's only 2 o clock n we already have a new couch. high fi set. n refrigerator. we gotta find him pony. n fast. who knows what'll show up by 6' soda who is so bad with money I love you so so much. soda who is impulsive I would do anythin for you

WHAT IS THAT. SODA BOUGHT A FUCKIN RV???

'put your hands over your eyes. n you gotta watch darry he always cheats. ever since you were this big' BROTHERS OF ALL TIME I FEAR

LIKE. HELLO. LOOK AT THEM.

soda giggly n so excited I'm gonna be sick. I love that boy.

soda in his fuck ass WETSUIT. MY GOD.

'I can't beleive buck gave you his credit card. he has gotta be outta his mind.' delivered in the most exhausted I know my fuckass younger brother way I've EVER heard

pony tellin soda what happened with the bank turnin darry down for a loan n soda immediately goin 'why didn't he tell me? I wouldn't have argued with him' n the pony sayin 'you know darry. he's got a lot of pride.its hard to be turned down' it's actually so incredibly important to me that sometimes pony n soda play opposite roles. pony who sometimes can see his own stubbornness in darry n soda sometimes who's foolheaded enough to miss the stuff he usually sees

two n steve findin out those boys are STRICKEN

'where's he now pony?' 'probably down at the dx lookin to show off to you two! if he ain't try Mohawk lake he got a wet suit n he's probably tryin it out divin for old tires!!' n pony CRACKIN himself up. ACK. I love that kid

darry delivers the line 'what is he doin here' in the MOST exhausted older brother tone I have EVER heard. no notes. love that guy also. 'why don't you butt out'

sodas actually such a good brother. like. aough. I'm sick to my stomach.

SODA DRIVIN AROUND WITH HIS UGLY BIG ASS RV

'I got this for the three of us!! we gotta get out!! see everythin there is to see!! he'll were probably gonna get drafted next year so we gotta have fun while we can!!' OHHH. IM SICKKK IM SO SO SICKK

'me n the boys are gonna go on the road together!!' 'there ain't gonna be no tour' 'what are you talkin about two you guys are comin with me!' 'we should have told you a long time ago' 'told me what stevie?' ohhhh. guys. ough. nooo. guys. AOUGH. I'm gonna be SICKK

soda literally on the edge of tears gettin back in his big ass RV is literally. unfortunately. givin this

STEVE WAS CRYIN. OHHH. yeah. yeah. cool cool. kill me already.

DARRY IS SO PROUD OF SODA AOUGGGGHHHH. I'm gonna be SICK to my STOMACH.

darry n pony BOTH reamin out two n steve. wow. the wonders of what someone else upsettin soda will do. can even get Darry n pony on the same side.

SODA GOIN TO SEE THE HORSES WHEN HES UPSET. N DARRY N PONY KNOWIN TO GO FIND HIM THERE. AOUGH.

AOUGHHH. CURTIS BOYS I WOULD DO ANYTHIN FOR YOU. (Also that's pony on the left soda in the middle n darry on the right the height difference is SO funny)

STEVE N TWO MADE THEM DINNER WHILE THEY WERE GONE AOUGH

TWO BIT HOLDIN THE PLAN UPSIDE DOWN. AOUGH TWOS GONNA MAKE DINNER FOR A MONTH SO SODA DOESNT HAVE TO COOK. OFFERIN TO DRIVE HIM AROUND. AGH

'no! I put my car up for collateral! n if they come to take my car I'll just build another car!' TV Steve you are so important to me

AOUGH. guys. these boys make me sick. they're so sweet. to each other. sick to my stomach.

'whether win or lose. me n darry n soda won't be chances without all of us bein in on it together'

[melmedarda]

ngl when i finally sat down and watched arcane, i was blown away by the difference between how mel/meljay was in the show vs how the fandom made me assume they were

before i assumed mel was this manipulator with no huge depth, who didn't care for jayce, and banged him on purpose to keep him away from viktor, who was dying, and who she had poisoned too (i genuinly have no memory where i got the idea that she poisoned viktor, maybe i came across a tweet and misinterpreted it, and came to the conclusion she's the reason he was dying idk)

all fandoms have this problem where the fanon version of the canon gets treated as more canon than the actual canon, and arcane fandom isn't immune to it.

but going into fandom as a meljay fan, loving their relationship in the show, only to learn many don't give a damn about them (unless it's about meljayvik), touching the bare surface of what they have going on, was a big whiplash.

because excuse me but did everyone went to sleep everytime jayce shared a moment with mel??? why are we acting like they have nothing besides the sex scene???

I'm so sorry you had to experience that, lovely, it feels like a rite of passage for Meljay stans tbh. But honestly, I've very glad you've come into it so late! Early days were terrible! We were in the trenches on twitter, tumblr, etc. Even now, Meljay is still considered to be a rarepair, and there is significantly less amount of fanart, though they have been canon for years now.

I've seen some delusional takes on the Meljay relationship (cost me several braincells), and I'm telling you, everything the fandom has to say on them needs to be like water off a ducks back for you, okay? Take everything with a grain of salt. Because most takes on Meljay, and Mel as a character, are rancid. Let them go in one ear and out the other. Even better, cultivate a small circle of Meljay understanders, as I have.

I wish I could tell you it gets better? But its gotten worse after S2, so I'm sending you all my love <3

[thewulf]

Terrible Liar || Joel Miller

Request: Love, love, love your work. I'm dying for some more Joel Miller x Reader hurt/comfort and I came across your JM X Franks Sister Reader... amazing! Could I request something with Tess's sister? I was thinking maybe reader got hurt on a job/raid and hid it until she was home. Joel walk in as he usually does but this time he see's you crying. He's never seen you cry so it freaks him out a bit. The Servopoulos sisters were composed. You can decide the rest! I've always thought that was super interesting but I don't see many people writing Tess's sister.

A/N: Ahh this came out so quickly, had to post it. Really like how this one turned out! Enjoy and let me know what you think!!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Word Count: 3.4k+

TW: Talk of death, stabbing, murder, general TLOU warning's

“Oh, fuck.” Groaning you leaned up against the bathroom wall looking towards the ceiling silently trying not to panic. Taking as deep of a breath as you could manage, you lightly grabbed the switch blade lodged deep in your thigh. Pure adrenaline was keeping you awake at this point.

You and your smuggling partner were seemingly in the clear until you were attacked by a few randoms that wanted your goods. You took one down at the expense of your thigh while Rory, your partner, took the other two down sans any injury. He managed to get you home by throwing you on his back. After assuring him you’d be fine he dropped you off at your shared apartment with your sister.

Closing your eyes, you quickly pulled the blade from your thigh. Better to get it out sooner or you’d be risking it getting infected. You couldn’t stop the quiet yelp that left your throat in response to the foreign blade being removed from your body. With your other hand you quickly put pressure down on the open stab wound. At the very least it was just a muscle that was stabbed and nothing major. It would hurt like hell for a while, but you’d heal up just fine. This was just a side effect of the world you lived in.

You really should’ve done this on the couch though. Not having the energy to make it all the way over there you slumped back down against the wall letting your body slide down until your butt hit the floor.

“Fuck me.” You let out a guttural sigh as you beat the floor below you. You’d never admit it out loud, but you hated this fucking world. The only reason you fought so hard to keep going was for Tess. And Joel. It’d break their hearts if they knew how much you truly despised it. The true ugly in humanity in every form coming to light every single day. You missed your simple life pre-outbreak. Maybe it was all fake and ready to crumble but at least there seemed to be a purpose. You hadn’t a clue what your purpose was anymore. And it was miserable. Was this really the best it was going to get?

“Shit fuck.” You threw the switchblade at the opposite wall angry that you let yourself get stabbed. Angry at the world.

You knew Tess and Joel were on another run and would be gone for a while so what was the harm in letting your frustrations out? It’d make it easier to sleep anyway if you tired yourself out. One tear turned to ten turned to too many to count. You let it all fucking out. The silent cries turned to ugly sobs as you finally let yourself feel sorry for once. For the first time in forever you mourned your old life. A life you’d never get to experience again. It’d been nonstop since then. Constant fight or flight.

Your ugly sobs hid the sounds of the locked front door opening and closing. Joel called out for you only to be met by your muffled cries. Panicked he raced over to the closed door hearing a sound so unfamiliar he wasn’t sure if he was hearing correctly or not.

Softly knocking he tried to call out for you first, “Y/N?”

He was only met with louder cries. It was definitely you hiding away in the bathroom. He had just left Tess to go finish off the deal. She was always able to squeeze more out of people than he was. The duo finished the run far sooner than they were planning, and he wanted to come find you, like he always did. He made sure that you were the first thing he went to go find once he got back from a run. He wasn’t sure when or why it started happening. You just brought him so much comfort.

This was the last thing he expected. Hearing you breaking down on the other side of the door.

Opening the door, he hoped it wasn’t too bad, whatever was hiding.

“Y/N?” The sight before him was something he’d never wished to see. A nightmare really. There was blood everywhere. Your blood seemed to coat almost every surface of the small bathroom

He was met with your wide eyes. Clearly caught doing something you didn’t want him to see, “Joel. Shit. Joel, hey.” You wiped your eyes as best as you could knowing it hid absolutely nothing. You were sure they were blood shot as you kept running your sleeve across them.

“What the fuck happened?” He nearly growled as his instincts kicked into gear. He grabbed a washcloth dabbing it in some water before crouching down beside you.

“Raiders, smugglers or some shit.” You sighed leaning your head back against the wall. Feeling Joel take your hand that was holding the wound closed you watched as he looked at the wound. Not having any energy left to fight him you simply observed.

“They take the shit?” He frowned looking the stab wound over. He was a little relieved to see it wasn’t that bad. Not thinking you needed any stitches he opted for gauze and a wrap.

“No, no.” You took another breath focusing on him and not your pulsing thigh, “We got everything back. You know Rory would never let them take anything alive.” Rory had a certain zest for life that many didn’t have. He was almost careless with his life, not caring if he gave his for the greater good.

He looked up seeing your pained face. He wasn’t good at this shit. That’s why he loved being around you and Tess, you never made him do the mushy crap. He’d been decent at it a lifetime ago, with Sarah. But fast forward fifteen years and that man was gone. Replaced by a hardened shell that Joel would never recognize.

“You alight?” He asked looking you over while cleaning the dried blood off your leg still holding pressure to the bleeding wound.

Nodding your head, you took a drawn-out breath in through your nose, eyes still closed. What you’d do for another adrenaline rush right now, “’m fine Joel.” You tried to convince yourself more so than him.

“You don’t have to lie to me Y/N.”

“I’m just tired.” It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth. Something you’ve grown very good at.

Joel wasn’t accepting that though. He heard you sobbing not five minutes ago. You weren’t alright and he needed to make sure you were going to be, even if you weren’t right now. He loved you too dearly not to try.

Joel’s always had a soft spot for you. Though he’d never dream about acting upon any such urges. No matter how pretty you looked… all the time. Didn’t matter if you were dolled up after Frank got to you or coming back from a weeklong raid. He found you simply stunning. All the fucking time.

Tess noticed Joel’s shifting feelings for her sister. She didn’t say a thing though. That’d make things awkward. She noticed how he always pulled back, never daring to make a move on you. How he seemingly pined for you from a distance. You were too unobservant of him to notice his longer than usual gazes. You were too locked in on your surroundings to pay too close attention to him. How he always double checked to make sure you were alright.

Tess considered Joel telling you how he felt. She would be alright with it. But she knew Joel would never. He was just like her. Beyond fucked up. He’d lost everything just like Tess had. You were the only thing that kept Tess going and Tommy was Joel’s reason. Although that reason started shifting to you the more he was around you.

You were so much like Tess but so fucking different. You had all her best qualities and none of her worst. You weren’t perfect by any means, but you were you. Y/N Servopoulos. Nearly perfect in Joel’s eyes. Surely more fucked up in others eyes though.

“This is going to hurt.” He waited for you to acknowledge him before he dapped the alcohol on the wound. The worst thing would have that stab wound get infected. It was harder to come by antibiotics than opiates these days.

Biting your lip when you felt the sting of the antiseptic you sucked in a sharp breath trying your hardest not to seem so weak.

“Sorry.” He softly let out after seeing your expression wince up.

“It’s okay. I’m fine J.” The nickname you gave him slipped right on out. Often being too lazy to call him his first name you opted for the first letter of his name. He adored it. It made him feel special. Like you saw him differently. Nobody else got a nickname.

“You were crying.” He let his thoughts roll out now, “I’ve never seen you cry. I’ve known you for twelve fucking years Y/N.” He kept his voice calm. He didn’t want to freak you out. All he wanted was for you to open up to him. He knew it was scary. He had a hard enough time doing it as well. But damn if he wasn’t going to give it a go.

“It hurt. The stab. Look at all the blood.” Speaking monotonously, tone even, you spread your arms out as if he couldn’t see the blood everywhere. It didn’t sound like you though and even you had to admit that. How many excuses for the crying could you make up before he believed you?

He rolled his eyes. You couldn’t miss it, “I’ve seen you break how many bones? Get stabbed how many fucking times and not a single tear has been shed. Not even one Y/N. What’s going on? You’re a terrible liar.”

You couldn’t think of anything to say. He got you. This was hardly a drop in the bucket compared to all the other close calls you’ve had. This was a simple switchblade to the thigh. Sure, it hurt like hell, but you’ve been in many much more precarious situations.

Telling him the truth didn’t seem like an option though, no matter how hard he begged. Who wasn’t depressed in this world? Why were you so special that you could cry about it? You knew you weren’t, so you had to suck it up. Deal with the cards you’ve been dealt. You’ve only cried a handful of times since outbreak day.

The first time was when you realized you were likely never going to see your mom or dad again. That was a tough pill to swallow as a teenager who needed her parent’s guidance. Luckily you had Tess, you would’ve never have made it without her.

The second time happened when Tess fell off a building that collapsed beneath her. For a split second you thought you lost your person and you fell apart instantly. The two of you hadn’t met Joel just yet. Somehow, she managed to grab a cable before the floor collapsed beneath her leaving her dangling for a moment before you realized she was alive and needed you.

The third and final time you cried was when you were put on the body burning shift. You came across a distant friend who looked like she was attacked from behind. Probably caught in the crossfire between some Fireflies and FEDRA agents. You didn’t have any friends other than Tess and Joel. So, when you saw her laying in the pile of bodies you almost lost it right then and there. When your shift was up you sat in an alleyway and cried for God knows how long before hightailing it home. Tess knew when your shift ended, and she’d be going crazy if you didn’t come home before it got dark.

You’d wanted to cry so many other times, but you held it in. You had to hold it in. For survival. You never wanted to be seen as week. You’d rather be seen as a robot or an emotionless bitch. At least you knew they could never walk all over you.

“What do you want me to say Joel?” You opened your eyes looking right at him. Studying his face as he processed your words. Confusion, anger and sadness all seemed to emit from him as he thought

“Why don’t you start by telling the truth?”

“I already told you. We got jumped by some random…” You were interrupted by a very distraught looking Joel. The man hardly ever displayed emotions. Just like you. Just like Tess. But now? Now it felt like he was out to get you. To make you feel everything you’ve tried to bury. And it was working. Fuck was it working.

His eyes softened before they hardened, “Cut the shit Y/N. You know what I mean.” He wasn’t angry. Not in the slightest. He knew this was just your defense mechanism. Play it off as if nothing were wrong in the slightest. Tess did the same. He did the same. A learned behavior. A product of your environment.

“I’m tired of it all Joel! I don’t know what the fucking point of all of this is.” You couldn’t bear to look at him as you let it out. Instead, you looked straight ahead, letting your eyes glaze over. He wanted to know what was bothering you, so you let him have it, “There’s no purpose to all of this. We’ll all get bitten eventually. That or either blown apart by a fucking bullet or sliced in half by a god damned blade.”

“Y/N.” He took your chin in his calloused hand so gently. So, fucking gently it made you want to scream. With a feather light touch he moved your head so that you were looking at him once more. For the first time in forever you felt your cheeks burn as he looked right through you. Like he was seeing you for the first time. Feeling exposed you tried to look away but his soft, yet unforgiving grip kept your head in place, eyes locked on him.

“Am I wrong?” You felt the hot tears rush to your eyes for the second time that afternoon. Boy, when the damn broke it sure wasn’t going to stop was it?

The softest expression you’d seen on him broke across his face seeing the tears endlessly flow down your face, “I don’t know what the point of all of this is.” He admitted wiping away the tears that has escaped with the pad of his thumb. It hurt him seeing you so down. So terribly unlike your usual steady beautiful self. But you were finally opening up to him. As much as it hurt him to see it made him feel so good that you trusted him enough to do so.

And trust him you did. You trusted Joel with your life and more. With Tess’s life. That was something you’d never take a gamble on.

“But I do know that even if there is no bigger purpose that you, and Tess, are my reasons to keep going.” His eyes traveled your face as you processed his words. You were sure you’d never hear such an admission from a man who’s lost so much. A man that has lost everything that ever mattered to him.

 You saw the way Tess slowly shut down over time after outbreak day. She used to smile, pre-outbreak. She was engaged to be married to the sweetest guy then all hell broke loose. Tess was just graduating college and you were just in high school. Luckily you were with one another and managed to barely get by. You had no idea what happened to the rest of your family. Tess had no idea what happened to her fiancé. Life as you knew it was gone in a second. As quick as blowing out a candle.

It wasn’t like him to be so soft outwardly to you. He’d do it in other ways. Hidden ways. Making sure you were warm enough at night after you fell asleep. Making sure you never fell too far behind. This was different and you weren’t sure how to feel about it. A lifetime ago it would have had your heart in a tizzy. But now it almost made you nauseous. You were already so attached to the man. Add a layer of love and it’s over. It was so important not to get too attached in this world. Everything you seemed to love would vanish.

“Really?” You asked, not fully believing him.

He nodded dropping his hand from your chin. A small frown formed almost immediately with the loss of warmth his touch was providing. You always seemed to forget just how cold you got when you lost a lot of blood. A shiver ripped down your spine as your body attempted to warm back up with the lack of blood.

“Yeah, of course. So don’t say shit like that anymore. We can’t lose you. I can’t lose you.” He said as he finished bandaging your side. Tying the gauze in a tight knot making sure you wouldn’t be bleeding from that spot any longer. Not two seconds after he finished, he removed his coat placing it around your shoulders, gingerly moving your body away from the wall.

“I’m okay J.” You yawned finally feeling the exhaustion from the afternoon hit you all at once.

He shook his head as he took one of your arms slipping it through the arm opening and repeating it once more with your other arm. He sinched it around your waist knowing it was far too big for you. He hoped that’d warm you up a bit.

This was he part that sucked. The waiting game. It wasn’t like he could run you down to the hospital. The two of you would be questioned into oblivion and then tried for exiting the QZ. He’d only take you there if you were for sure going to die, “You’re cold. You’ve lost a lot of blood.”

Sighing you knew it was best not to argue with the stubborn man, “Tess is going to kill me.”

He shook his head quickly, “I won’t let her. I like you too much.”

A ghost of a smile crossed your lips, “Joel Miller being sweet.” You smiled full on now, lazily flicking your eyes over to the handsome man who was sitting on the wall next to you. Another yawn came out as you studied him once again. Your body wanted nothing more than to rest but Joel was making it hard. He was too damn distracting.

He grunted, “Don’t push your luck. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He stood offering you a hand at first seeing if you’d take it.

“I’m too tired to move.” You felt your body getting heavier and heavier. Sleep just felt so enticing. It didn’t really matter where you were at the moment.

He chuckled. Another rare sound that you seemed to enjoy oh so much, “Oh, you’ll kill me later if I let you sleep here. Come on.”

“Whatever.” You nearly slurred sure the darkness was going to take over.

You heard his laugh before you felt his hands slip underneath you. Too tired to protest you felt yourself go airborne. An odd sense of comfort washed over you as he pushed your head into his chest, “Relax, Y/N. Just me.” He whispered into your hair that was covering your ear.

You let your body sink into his as he carried you bridal style into your bedroom. Setting you down gently onto the bed he shimmied you underneath your covers careful not to hurt the leg that was injured.

You whined at the loss of contact. The warmth being too strong of a feeling. You’d let yourself be embarrassed tomorrow. You wanted him now. Opening your eyes you looked up to him so he knew just how serious you were, “Can you stay?” You made the softest doe eyes you could, ones you knew he could never say no to.

You were right. He couldn’t say no, “Stay?” He asked again to confirm taking a small step towards your bed.

“Mhmm, I’m cold. Can’t sleep when I’m cold.” You hoped and prayed he’d oblige to your wishes.

He took another step feeling a bit more confident at your admission, “If, you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.” You patted the spot beside you, “Need you, J.”

Need you, J. He’d let the play through his head as he scooped you into his side relishing in the closeness he shared with you. Even if this were all he ever got with you he’d never forget it, not even a second of it.