#I've seen so much and yet sometimes it feels like I haven't made a dent
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marlinspirkhall Β· 9 months ago
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Star Trek Completionism:
TOS: 🟩🟩🟩 100%
TAS: 🟩🟩 100%
TOS Movies: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩πŸŸ₯ 83.3%
TNG: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 100%
TNG Movies: πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 0%
DS9: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨πŸŸ₯ 84.2%
VOY: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 100%
ENT: πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 0%
AOS: 🟩🟩🟩 100%
DISCO: 🟩🟩🟩πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 60%
PICARD: 🟨πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 3%
LWD: 🟨πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 7.5%
PRODIGY: 🟩🟩 100%
SHORT TREKS: πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 0%
SNW: 🟨πŸŸ₯πŸŸ₯ 42%
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motte-the-goblin Β· 2 years ago
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Not a dream
Tech Γ— masc reader
Authors note: ok so I haven't written in ages, let alone fanfics lol. I'm pretty sure I fucked up the tenses majorly but English is not my first language and grammar theory is not my forte so I decided not to care.
Warnings, I guess? Not sure how this works yet:
Nsfw 18+ ?
Light smut
Use of swear words
Dom!tech
Brief mention of low selfworth
More notes: reader is trans masc, uses they/them pronouns. Uuuhm.... Yeah. I've never written anything in this pov but here you go.
Idk what this is so Imma stop talking.
Enjoy, I guess ✨
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When you entered the Cockpit he was lying underneath the console, one leg stretched the other knee pulled up, granting your eyes immediate access to the impressive dent in those tight blue jeans. You just wanted to bring the Mechanic your father hired to fix your ship a hot cup of caf, you did not expect to be greeted by such a delicious view.
Your eyes wander down those long legs sticking out from under the ship's console. The firm fabric of the jeans hugging his toned legs perfectly, multiple leather holsters emphasizing their length even more.
Subconsciously you suck your lower lip between your teeth and start gnawing it.
Since you started HRT, youΛ‹ve found yourself being horny more often than not, sometimes having to slip away in the most ridiculous situations to quickly take care of the urge. Although the immediate, sometimes borderline painful Need has had cooled down over the past couple of months, seeing those glorious legs spread in that way right before you reignites your urges instantly.
A slight cough pulls you back to reality harshly and you realize you've been caught staring at this strangers crotch for who knows how long.
The heat in your cheeks tells you that they are most likely a deep red by now as you slowly raise your gaze. You haven't even seen his face yet and here you were, fantasizing about straddling his legs.
When your eyes finally land on his face your heart stops for a second and air suddenly doesn't seem to be breathable anymore.
Those eyes
The man had slipped out from under the console, still laying on his back, slightly propped up on his elbow, legs still spread in that same way as before. His lean torso wrapped in the tightest black turtleneck you had ever laid eyes upon, he looked at you.
Smirking!
your face felt on fire as you met his gaze. Warm, amber eyes watching you behind slightly tinted goggles, almost impishly gleaming.
Your mouth opens and closes a few times, leaving you looking like a fish caught on land.
"Is that for me or did you just come to gawk?", his voice struck you by surprise. The way he spoke was sharp but the low growl under his words made him sound soft at the same time. Not to mention the way your body reacts to it…
"I... Yes, yes that's for you.", you stammer, strainedly trying to clear your throat of the massive Toad in it, stretching your arm out for him to grab the cup you were holding.
Maker, please let the ground swallow me right now
The Mechanic smoothly and effortlessly got back on his feet which, due to the size of the cockpit, caused him to suddenly stand way too close to you. Your eyes wide and fixed down on his chest you tried to ignore the feeling of his breath on you. He stood so close you could feel the warmth emitting from his body.
An oh so soft chuckle left his lips as he tried to take the cup from you but your fingers wouldn't cooperate with you to leave the item they were gripping so desperately.
Finally, after what felt like a torturous eternity you let go of the cup and stumble a few steps back. there is not much room though and you quickly back up against the wall behind you.
"S..sorry", you mutter under your breath, staring at the floor intently.
You hear a clinking sound as he puts down the mug and the next thing you see are two brown boots coming into your line of sight.
The next thing you feel is a gloved index finger under your chin, softly lifting it up.
Breathing? What's that?
As he lifts up your chin and forces you to look at him, you can't help but get caught in his eyes again.
they were so soft and warm and deep and yet there was this spark, this mischievous little gleam in their corners that you couldn't quite place.Β 
Or you could, your brain just wasn't having it.
this guy, interested in such a runt? Yeah sure.
you had never seen such a snatched jawline in real life and his high cheekbones made you all too aware of your own, rather round and shapeless face.
Even his nose was perfect, long and straight with a rather adorable, round tip.
He was a whooping 8 inches taller than you and currently towering over you, his index finger still holding your scruffy chin.
"And what might your name be, handsome?", he cooed.
You were completely stumped. That was a good question...
What was your name?
Swallowing hard you just continue staring at him, trying to ignore the way your midst was throbbing.
Before you could do anything about it you were pressing your hips against him, your chest heaving, nostrils flared and eyes wide.
What the fuck!? you scolded your body for betraying you like this.
The corner of his mouth curled into a grin as you closed the rather small gap between you, and his hand slipped up to cup your cheek.
When his thumb started to glide across your lower lip all life support measures in your body shut off and your knees turned to jelly.
smirking at your reaction he moved his free hand behind you on the small of your back to help hold you up, thus pressing you even closer to his leg.
"Rather receptive, aren't we?", his voice somehow got even lower and the raspy growl sent a shiver down your spine.
A little noise escapes your mouth unwillingly and his grin widens.
He shifts a little and suddenly his leg is between yours, his knee gently pressing against your middle. For a brief second he looks surprised, maybe at the lack of bulge touching his knee, maybe by the uncontainable groan that leaves you.
"It seems talking is not possible for you right now.", he leans in closer, down to your ear and you feel like you might explode, "But I am not one for continuing non-consensually, so if you could be so kind as to let me know that my suspicions are correct, that would be greatly appreciated."
How can someone talk like that and sound so fucking sexy?
"What... what suspicion?", you manage to squeeze out, hoping to the stars you didn't sound completely ridiculous.
There was that damn velvety chuckle again.
"You appear to want me. Rather desperately, I might add."
No shit, Detective
"Although I am not quite sure as to why and how that is, seeing as we have never met before, I would not be opposed to oblige. You are quite... fascinating."
With his last word he lets his eyes wander over your face, down your neck to your heaving chest.
Not once in your life has someone looked at you like this, let alone a complete stranger.
You had found your peace with the conclusion that you are just not desirable in that way a while ago.
This is a dream
The sudden realization hits you like a bucket of cold water.
But if this is a dream, that means you can just do what ever the fuck you want, there is no need for shame or anxiety.
With that new-found courage you meet his eyes with yours once again before boldly closing the gap between your faces and catching his lips with yours.
so damn soft
You can't help but moan quietly and you feel his lips curl at the sound.
He pulls away slightly to look at you.
"I guess that answers my question." The way his tone of voice ties a knot in your stomach makes you think this might not be a dream after all.Β 
Your eyes flutter shut when his face moves closer again, not able to stand the piercing gaze of those caramelized puddles that are his eyes.Β 
____Β 
He suddenly pulls away and steps back to the console, grabbing the cup of, now cold, caf you had brought him earlier.Β 
With his body no longer providing support or warmth to you, you find yourself weakly leaning against the wall behind you, your legs trembling like leaves and your lip pushed forward into a subconscious little pout at his sudden departure.Β 
"Thank you for bringing me this and helping out.", he states, leaving you confused for a second before you hear your father entering the shio behind you. Quickly trying to regain a smidge of composure you shoot up and start tugging at your crumpled up shirt. running your hand through your short hair you clear your throat and nod.Β 
"Yeah… no problem." Your voice cracks a little and suddenly you can't get out of the cockpit fast enough. Giving your father a nod and a smile passing him you dart down the ramp and into the house, right to your room where you flop onto your bed. You shove your blanket into your mouth to suppress the scream that's building up in your stomach.Β 
What the fuck what the fuck what. The. Fuck.Β 
_______Β 
"Y/N, dinner's ready."Β 
You hear your father through the door. You had been lying on your bed for the better part of the afternoon, trying to wrap your head around what happened earlier… on the ship… with that… man.Β 
Your thoughts trail off once again to those endless legs and you can still feel the pressure of his thigh between yours.Β 
A second knock reminds you of your father at the door.Β 
"Yes yes I'm coming."Β 
You take a deep breath, trying to force the red out of your flushed face.Β 
You make your way down to your cozy dining room, absentmindedly running your fingers through your hair.Β 
"May I ask you to give this to them? It is a small thank you for their help earlier."Β 
Oh crap.Β 
Choking on your own breath you stop dead in your tracks when you hear that smooth yet sharp voice.Β 
"Of course, and thank you again.", Your father replies.Β 
Give what? To whom?Β 
You don't dare to move or breathe until you hear the front door shutting and your father calling out to you again.Β 
He's a bit startled when you immediately appear behind him.Β 
"What was that about?" You ask innocently, hoping he wouldn't read your mind and face, as he unfortunately could.Β 
Somehow your father always knew what was up with you.Β 
"Oh, the mechanic asked me to give you this. He just finished with the repairs, said you were a great help earlier."Β 
He seemed delightfully unaware.Β Β 
Thank the starsΒ 
You grabbed the piece of paper he extended to you and shoved it into your pocket without even looking at it.Β 
"Let's eat, hm?" You suggest a little bit too eagerly and head for the decked table.Β 
You can feel your fathers brow rising as his glance makes the hair on your neck stand up.Β 
______Β 
Fortunately your father decided to leave it and you alone during dinner.Β 
Sprawled out over your bed again you stare at the note.Β 
I would very much like to see you again,Β 
TechΒ 
Your heart flutters as you read the words again and again.Β 
TechΒ 
How did that name fit him so perfectly?Β 
A giddy little squeak finds its way out of your mouth.
Oh, for fucks sake, get yourself together!
With the decision to take Tech up on his request the next day you slowly drift off to sleep into a rather hot and steamy dream.Β 
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eldritch-spouse Β· 2 years ago
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I don't think I've seen something like this for Morell but if there is then feel free to ignore, but I have a fleeting thought that sometimes drifts back about Morell with a cannibalistic piglet. Like maybe before they were taken to the Clergy they were a killer/cannibal so when Morell feeds them a human they eat with delight or simply refuse to eat anything else but human.
OH! This is far fetched, but what if the human was like the one where they could regenerate organs/limbs?I can see piglet having him cut off a piece, cook it for the two of them (the mushroom hard and piglet probably getting off on it)and both of them happily consuming, having some fun after
[While I'll gladly indulge the idea of a cannibal Piglet, I've already written for pervy reader that can regenerate limbs here. Fem reader. Went just a tiny bit ham with this one. :'>]
TW: Cannibalism, romanticized cannibalism, in-depth descriptions of gore, I need Jesus what else is news?
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You never thought you'd be the one getting kidnapped.
So used were you to being the lion amongst limping gazelles, that you made a critical mistake- Getting cocky. Turning your back to bigger fiends, believing yourself to be an apex.
The reality of your fragile nature comes crashing down when you find yourself dumped inside a den of real lions for the first time. The Clergy's Eye. Sickfuck central, in other words. Your deeds, compared to those of the monsters working here, are but crumbs. You're an angel in comparison, practically just as insignificantly innocuous as the average Joes that got lumped in with you upon arrival. They do not discriminate here, innocent and guilty are equal.
It took very little for someone as observant as you to understand what role exactly humans played in this cesspit. And that is the role of prey. Commodities. Products with price tags. And in your case, meat.
Hah.
The levels of irony are so far beyond comical that you could die laughing if you really thought deeply about it. The cannibal, coincidentally sorted to the human-eating chef... It can't have been mere chance, can it? They must have known exactly what you were before you got captured. But then... That can't be the case. Because Morell, as you've come to know the large shroom, didn't believe you when you told him you were fine with eating humans. You're more than fine with it, actually, your track record shows it crystal clear.
And yet, all he does is coo at you. Saying that his pretty piglet can't hurt a fly, that you're much too scrawny to put a dent in anyone, that you'd sooner hurt yourself than eat a man. The fact that you turn your nose up at any meat that doesn't taste like human doesn't get him to believe you. Fucking Hell, the fact that you're able to identify the flavor of human in the first place should be enough of a tell to let him know you were up to shady shit previously! What, does he think other people caught your victims for you? That you don't know what you're eating?!
All of this is really quite puzzling. You have no idea why Morell even took a liking to you anyway. For all intents and purposes, you are food, you should be hanging in the freezer, skinless like the rest of them- Or dangling upside down in his kitchen while he bleeds you out. He caught you, the fuck is he doing playing with his meal for so long now? Maybe he just likes the fact that you haven't had a little panic attack once ever since getting here. That you're mildly cooperative, never even tried to run. As if running were a good idea, either Morell cuts your legs off like he did to some chaps the other day, or another sicko catches you and does possibly worse.
No, it was most likely the hunger. This place smells good, for lack of better wording. Your favorite meals are always cooking, because the demand for them here is ridiculous. It always smells so so good- You think he caught you salivating once or twice. That might not have helped.
You're sure Morell could tell you were different from day one, he's probably just suspicious. Hell, you would be too, in his shoes. That's why you're tied to a restaurant table's chair, outside the kitchen. You challenged him when the chef "called your bluff", and now he's going to put you to the test, initially treating this as if it were a punishment- When really, it's become more of a mildly inconvenient dinner date. It could even be romantic, if the chef didn't insist on keeping you shackled to the warehouse all day, cold and sore and bored to death.
God, you're so hungry. He's taking his sweet time, isn't he? Maybe this is all a joke. He's not cooking anything at all, you're being played.
With a familiar, quiet creak, the kitchen doors part. And while you expected to see the large blue monster himself walk out, you're instead faced with none other than the head... Thing, that works inside his kitchen. These odd little dark creatures that do his bidding. Minion beings. This is the one in charge, the pink freckled one... What was his name again? Tomato? Turnip? Yeah. How come he always looks so oddly oblivious to the obscenities around him? Regardless, he carries a set of napkins and a vintage-looking bottle.
Once he comes over to organize the cloths, you make small talk, because there's nothing more entertaining to occupy yourself with. " Hey little man, what's on the menu? "
Turnip blinks, scrunches his face in deep thought, then snaps his fingers. " Blonde! " He simply says, looking much too proud.
" Uhuh. " You let him pour what you assume must be wine on both your glass and the chef's.
You know better than to try to ask the pink-eyed thing for help. It's unquestionably loyal to Morell, as are the others. And even if you think you could probably weasel out of these ropes with enough effort, or break the chair, the gates to the elevators have been closed. It's not worth acting out at all here, so you merely watch the creature in a chef hat trot back to the kitchen, passing the time by staring at the walls.
Such interesting walls they are. Truly, the soft tones of purple upon brick are superb. What type of brick is that? Who painted this place? The lighting is always so moody. Is that a bug on the wall? A spider? Huh. There it goes...
This time, you don't get the courtesy of a gentle warning as the kitchen doors slam open, giving you a mighty heart scare. There he is. The shroom. With perhaps the most jolly look ever on his face. He looks sweaty, like he's been standing in front of an oven for a while, or a fireplace. Is that a blush on his darkened face? In his hand lies a silver platter much too big,' something you're sure a human would have trouble carrying. Speaking of human, the size of that thing leaves little to the imagination. There's a person in that, most of one, at least.
Morell glances at you with a raw level of determination that scalds. Something fierce, to be reckoned with. He's marching to the table steadily, footsteps heavy. The monster only speaks to you when the platter is lowered to the center of the table, obscuring a great deal of it.
" Should'a had 'em put ya in a dress, piglet. " The cook comments. " Make this whole ordeal 'ere a lil' more romantic. " You're pretty sure those creatures aren't smart enough to even understand how a dress is operated. " Ya can't blame me for gettin' excited though, right? "
You can, actually. His excitement is what landed you here in the first place, so you figure that's pretty blame-worthy. Your lack of response doesn't faze the monster much, who quickly removes the shining silver cover off the platter. Dear God, it's mouth-watering.
What lies on the platter is very clearly a woman. Or, well, most of one- Her abdomen and upper thighs at least, what's left of her arms tied behind her back. She's roasted to absolute perfection, you wouldn't have it any other way. An assortment of veggies and fruits decorate the larger than life dish, some covering her privates, you're sure he's stuffed something in there. It wouldn't be Morell if he hadn't gone the whole nine yards, if he hasn't made sure all those cavities were made useful some way or another. Speaking of stuffing, her open belly is very clearly bloated. In all your years as an amateur devourer of men, you have never managed to achieve this level of elegance. Why, inside her grotesquely extended abdominal area, is nothing other than ludicrous amount of... Pasta? Yes, it looks like it. Pasta and vegetables, the taste must be delectable. Given how there's always so many humans being brought in, and how Morell does this day in and day out, it's unlikely he established a bond with this poor lady before she was sentenced to fire. This, in your eyes, dampens the experience a little. Though you're not about to complain, not when you're starving, and this equally insane man holds the cure for your perpetual hunger.
" Ain't seen somethin' quite like this 'fore, have ya, piggie? " Morell brags, glowing blue eyes fixed on yours.
You shake your head, allowing him to be cocky, because he deserves it frankly. The dish looks and smells delightful. He's a master of his craft and you will recognize that truth. The chef plucks a grape from the side of the platter, edging closer to you with it in hand. " Open. "
This close, you can most definitely tell he's not just sweating from the heat of roasting a person, or rushing through his work. See, through the chef's blood-soaked smock protrudes the real source of his perspiration, a raging libidinous thrill, which is probably making his pants feel real tight. You expected as much, he takes more enjoyment out of this than you ever will, perhaps now you can start to understand why he's so patronizing about your own fondness for literal manmeat.
Nonetheless, perhaps because you're bored, maybe because you want to push his buttons, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, making sure to keep eye contact when Morell dips the small fruit on your tongue. You catch it, teasingly tracing the tips of thick digits before leaning back and enjoying the treat. The monster very clearly fumes at the display, though tries to keep his cool. What's left of it.
" How's it look so far, babycakes? Ya hungry? "
God, are you...
" It looks amazing. " You begin, catching the way Morell's grin turns near-manic, hands twitching by his sides as if he wants to grab at you. " You have to let me see you make the next one. I'm starving, sir. " A vein probably popped in the man's body upon hearing that.
The shroom makes a sound akin to a low rumble, pulling a steak knife out from his pocket. Right, the one thing missing from the table set ever since you were sat down. He motions to it, sparing you a stern look. " Don' go playin' games now, I'd have ta punish ya real bad if our date got interrupted by some silly lil' stunt. "
What even would the point? You've seen the braver ones try to stab him before. As squishy as some parts of him may look, penetrating that thick hide is easier said than done. He hasn't bled once from their attacks, ever since your stay here at least. The knife he holds, while decently sharp, would probably not be worth much damage, unless you could somehow reach those glowing eyes of his. Maybe the underside of his cap, it looks softer. If Morell catches you scrutinizing, which is ambiguous honestly, he makes no comment on it, setting the knife down and moving behind you to untie the ropes binding you to the chair.
He tenses then. Deliberately. Daring you to try something brainless, like making a dash for the blocked elevators. Even if you did, the chef would probably still get off on the wild goose chase. Knowing this, you remain still, getting rewarded by a pleased rumble and some gentle head patting. " Good girl... " He slurs, pushing your chair in while he moves to be in front of the platter.
Your plate is picked up, you merely observe while the shroom makes a fine selection of each portion, cutting professionally at the meat. Fuck, he nailed the inside and everything. You don't recognize the sauce he put on her, but it smells so good... The plate presented to you, quite tall for the record, makes the cook in you nearly tear up from seething jealousy- Wishing, no matter how depraved it may sound, that you could make a dish look half as appetizing as this monster effortlessly does. Lucky bastard!
Morell takes his wine glass in hand and swirls it, looking eagerly at your person. " Eat up, piglet. I wanna hear what'cha think. "
You roll your shoulders, picking up the cutlery. Part of you wonders if he put something in the food, since he's not eating himself. But then, you know Morell is hardly that type of monster, if he wanted something from you, he'd be crystal clear about it. Drugs are not in his modus operandi, as far as you can tell.
The first bite is heavenly.
You moan. And you mean it. It's indescribable, the monster that captured you made ambrosia. He made art. He made beauty- Is this what they call a foodgasm? You take another bite, and another, and one more, cutting delightedly at the marvelous food, eating as if you'd been starving.
Unbeknownst to your oblivious self, the mushroom is watching all of this avidly, relishing the reactions on your face and feeling a wave of pleasant heat spread over his entire frame. He feels light-headed almost, part of him not wanting to believe that you were being serious, that this wasn't just a needlessly elaborate bluff. Fuck, he loves you. You're perfect, look at yourself right now, drooling over his talent. Beautiful. You're a gift. He knew you were special.
" Good, ain't it? Best ya had, I bet. " He rumbles, wine glass set down.
You catch yourself, swallowing around a mouthful and fixing your curved posture, ashamed of your lack of self-control. Your mouth is sealed, should you really encourage his arrogance further?
" Naw naw, open them lips. "
No.
Morell tsks, reaching over in a single stride to take your chin in his grasp. Although you jump in your chair, you know better than to panic. He's like a beast, should you let him smell fear, he'll lunge. " Come on, I wanna hear it. " Shrunk pupils dare you to lie.
" It's... It's perfect. " A small wave of defeat blankets you. It's not that you feel bad about enjoying the taste of your fellow man, it's that you don't want to admit he's better than you at this anymore. That getting to experience this free of any authority's pursuit, free of guilt, free of shame, makes you want to stay with him.
" There we go, not so hard, was it? " He grins, softly stroking a thumb over your lips. " It makes me real happy ta hear that from ya, sweetiepie. "
Oh, you bet it does. Morell is looking at you like you're a steak, as usual, and unfortunately, you can never quite tell if that means he's horny or hungry.
" Aight, enjoy yer meal. I reckon ya deserve it for bein' honest with me after all. "
The chef puts some distance between you, reaching for his own knife and cutting pieces of the woman's roasted thigh for himself. You would like to "enjoy your meal", as he put it, but it's a little hard to eat normally when you're being stared down by the mushroom. You know he's getting off on watching you simply cut into the meat, his eyes lidding everytime there's contact between it and your lips, memorizing the movement of your throat as you swallow. Morell looks as if he's moments away from reaching for his own cock. Honestly, he's done grosser before, but you don't feel like eating with someone spanking it next to you.
So, to alleviate the tension in this floor, which albeit being huge feels suffocatingly small when it's just you and Morell in it, you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
" Did you do anything to her...? "
It's something you have to ponder. There's no doubt left in you that the cook gets personal with many of his "ingredients", that he plays with his food- There's nothing like the glee in his complexion when he gets to fondle his latest pig. Maybe it's the power, the importance of being the last person someone talks to or sees before death claims them. You... You feel a little bit of that sick pleasure yourself, but you never had a habit of massacrating your kills. It's unclear why you even want to know what Morell does with his human victims. Maybe you really just spoke to distract him from you, maybe you want to hear a disgusting answer.
Because it would thrill you.
The chef makes a sound between a huff and a chuckle, picking at the torso on a platter with the same knife. The very tip of the stainless steel piercing into one of her breasts beneath the nipple. Morell casually takes a slice for himself and finally takes a seat sideways on the chair opposite to you.
" Define anythin'... " The grin widens.
He knows what you mean. You know he does. The monster probably just enjoys making you spell things out to get himself off.
" Uh- Y-You know... " Very impressive.
" Do I? "
Alright, fuck it. You attempt to eat as you speak, to appear casual.
" Did you... Touch her? I know sometimes you get... Uhm, close to them. And you f-.... Finger... " What the fuck is wrong with you? You'll kill a man, but you can't even ask this pervert if he fingers his victims?!
Morell barks out hearty laughter at your struggling, tears in the corners of his eyes. " Lawd-! " He wheezes. " Did I finger her? "
" ... Yeah. "
Another small burst of chuckling, then the monster takes a deep breath, and spares you a surprisingly adoring look. Intoxicated, more like. " Dawww, piglet, are ya worried yer not good enough fer me? I ain't been touchin' anyone since ya got 'ere. "
Amazing. He managed to twist you wanting to know if he molested his victim into a display of insecurity from your part. As if the two of you are a couple having a heart-to-heart about your feelings.
" Uhh... Okay. " It's a little flattering to know that he hasn't been interested in anyone else ever since you were brought in, in an obviously depraved way. It's also dangerous, really dangerous, you're aware of that.
" I'm faithful to ya, pumpkin. Ya don' have ta worry. "
You just nod, cheeks coloring a couple shades darker. Emboldened by those words, or perhaps because his earlier answer wasn't satisfactory, you poke harder. You know riling him up is far from the best idea, but you're not known for your ability to make sane, proper decisions to begin with.
" You could have... " Is uttered in between bites, making the large shroom nearly choke on his own mouthful. He beats at his chest once and gives you a questioning look, flush darkening. " I mean, what does it matter if you do, right? They all die anyway. " Oh God why are you talking?! Where are you even trying to go with this?
Morell chews through his next mouthful slowly, giving you a fixed, knowing look while he drums meaty fingers on the table. " Does that do it for ya, piglet? " You choke. " Ya wanna watch that stuff? "
Damage control mode activated. " N-No, I- "
" 'Cus I can do that. "
Oh fuck. " O-Okay... "
Silence reigns.
You're eating faster now, though this time it's in an effort to get the little dinner date over with as soon as possible. You've embarrassed yourself enough as is. Though, truth be told, you also want to go for seconds, the meal is so appetizing... Even if this is by far the most awkward and tense interaction of your entire life, Morell's food is so utterly fantastic that you'd go through it all again just to taste this masterpiece one more time. A couple more forlorn forkfuls and your plate is squeaky clean. Pity.
Should you get up? Will he punish you for rising without permission or assume you're going to run? Ever starving eyes glaze over the platter's contents wistfully.
" Cravin' more? " Morell looks at you oddly. There's something strained about his posture, and you realize why when one of his arms is no longer poised over the table's cloth. Creep. He's doing exactly what you expected him to earlier...
Your tentative nodding is rewarded by another pleased rumble. " C'mere then. "
With a great deal of hesitancy, eyes trained on his, you do as told, knowing better than to try to draw out the inevitable. There's an audible gulp at the sight that greets you the closer you get.
The chef has freed himself from his pants, a pallid, large blue cock resting atop heavy balls. It's... Well, massive. Because the monster himself is huge compared to most humans, it makes sense he'd pack generously. Although overall humanoid in form, you don't miss the oddly-shaped bumps on the underside of it, or the fact that it sports plenty of the same marks the rest of his skin does. Your stare bounces everywhere in anxiety, unwilling to fixate on the cook's twitching length. Something about his nonchalant attitude is making a fire rise in your loins, unfortunately.
" Shorts off. "
Again, there's some seconds of reluctance from your part as you glance at your tattered clothes. You're wet, you know you are- But even then, it would be a challenge to fit that thing. Will you really let this happen just because your brain's wires crossed funny and your captor is mildly sexy? Just because, sometimes, you feel at home here?
" Piglet. " He warns when you take too long.
The moment said cloth hit the floor, you catch him huffing, gaze pointedly on your slightly flushed cunt. Your underwear privileges were revoked a while ago. You try not to lose your nerves, but some part of you does want to sprint right now. " Good girl... " He purrs, curling a finger.
The contact doesn't last, because you're swiftly turned around and manhandled to fold over the table, tits and face mushed on it. " Keep 'em spread, piggy. " Morell orders, prodding one finger against your opening. You don't get to say a word before it's jammed in, meeting little resistance.
When you're between the large monster and the table, he stays still in lurid observation. Then, in a fraction of a second, grabs your ass, forcing your sweet pussy against his face. The yelp you let out turns into a shriek when a fat tongue gives it a teasing swipe. You feel his blunt teeth on your mons and wonder if the chef is going to bite your genitals off entirely, a very real rush of fear making your body turn cold.
He's done this before, the shroom has no trouble getting people to open up for him, motions mechanic but effective. Soon, there's a quiet shlick muffling both your rapid breaths as his hand only ever withdraws so he can lather it in more drool and shove more fingers inside your gushing hole. By the time there's three trying to push in, you're grabbing the cloth like a vise and trying to bite down gross moans every time he thrusts, the force of each motion bouncing you forward. He doesn't know gentle, does he?
" Ya look so damn cute like this. " He murmurs, you can only groan nonsensically in response.
There's a sudden feeling of emptiness.
In a flash of movement, you're grabbed by the waist and dragged backwards. It all happens so quickly. One second you're poised in the air, the next you barely feel his tip before you've been forcibly impaled on the biggest cock you've ever welcomed within yourself.
The noise you let out is more akin to a dying animal's howl to a human vocalization, completely overshadowing Morell's own guttural snarl of pleasure.
Oh God, are you bleeding? It burns, it burns hard... But fuck, you're so full. He's touching everything at once. You swear you can feel him in your fucking lungs, holy shit. Is he fully inside?! Glazed, tearing eyes glance down. There's a distinct imprint on your lower abdomen, but sure enough, the monster is fully sheathed inside you.
" Ffffuckin' Hell, piglet... " Morell slurs, breathing ragged while he throbs inside you, grabbing onto your legs to keep you from squirming while the two of you get used to the sensation. Your insides contract reflexively and the shroom shudders, gripping you tighter. " Ah sh- Don' squeeze like that yet, girl. " Easier said that done.
Instead of moving, Morell extends an arm to drag the platter closer to himself, taking a fat cut of the roasted person atop it and stabbing it onto the knife. Casually, it's brought up to your incredulous lips. " Go on, I know yer still hungry. "
God, this sickfuck... But you're not any better, because you do take a bite, in spite of how depraved this situation already is.
" That's it, enjoy yerself... " You'd enjoy it more if he wasn't rasping into your ear, it's a challenge trying to eat with him palming his own cock through your tummy and moaning quietly.
You nearly choke again when your clit gets toyed with out of nowhere, forcing you to keen around the mouthful of meat. The shroom cackles. It takes very little to make you cum. Stretched as you are, the chef only has to make a couple of half-hearted grinds up into your wriggling body and flick your button a couple of times before you're sobbing out what could have once been words.
They're not stars, but there's definitely something swimming in the corners of your vision when you arch and gush on Morell, cunt spasming viciously against hard flesh. He himself can't help but fuck into you with a lot more vigor, knife discarded back onto the table loudly as the male leans back and uses both hands to rapidly bounce your drooling, crying form on his cock. The noises are downright shameful.
It's a mind blowing orgasm, you can't lie. As much as you want to.
You're breathless, boneless against the cook. Surprisingly enough, he forces himself to slow down, exerting what you imagine must be a stupendous amount of self-control for an indulgent creature such as himself. A thankfully clean hand casually strokes through your hair, patting you softly in reward. " Good job, piggy. I almost lost maself there. "
Almost? It sure as fuck seemed like he went feral, judging by the force he fucked you with. Like a cock-sock, you weigh nothing to him. You dread knowing what a "lost" Morell must act like.
The shroom reaches past you to retrieve the kitchen knife, eating from it calmly while you roll your eyes. Seriously?
The last thing you expect is for him to grab your chin and jerk it up, sharing an unwanted kiss with you. The way your eyes bulge out when flesh is passed from his near lipless mouth into yours causes Morell to grin. You have no choice but to swallow, his tongue won't allow any fight. Ugh.
Fucking disgusting. He's horrid.
You spare the overgrown mushroom a look of unfiltered distaste, to which he just chuckles quietly and lovingly wipes the corners of your lips.
In moments, you're being lightly bounced again.
" Think ya can stomach some more? "
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seventhrounder Β· 4 years ago
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I went thru my folder with old hockey magazines I had saved from around 2011 to 2015 and came across this one and thought it could be a fun to make a post about now in hindsight.
This is JÀÀkiekko magazine from May 2012, they always have a section of "99 questions with ..." and in this issue they interviewed TerÀvÀinen.
I’ve translated the questions I found interesting under the cut! It ended up being about half of the interview. (*) are my additions.
On the cover "seuraava superjokeri" means the next super joker, he played for Helsingin Jokerit so it's a word play from that. Under, on the blue print it says: "The 17-year-old forward will become a first round draft pick in the summer. The natural goal scorer can dominate in SM-Liiga as soon as next season."
In the 2nd photo the headline and lead paragraph goes:
"A post with dents* - A year ago Teuvo TerΓ€vΓ€inen was known only within a small number of hockey insiders. Few passers-by recognize him now either but after a flashy rookie season the Jokerit sensation is on the radar of every NHL team and is a strong contender to become a first round draft pick. Next season with Jokerit the talented second line center will be one of the main talking points in the SM-Liiga."
(*references the net TerΓ€vΓ€inen had in his backyard and into which he practiced his shooting)
3. You've been described as a magician, top scorer, wunderkind and a prodigy. What do you think of these descriptions?
TT: Heh, those are some descriptions yeah. What can I really say? Don't really wanna comment on them much.
4. How nervous are you about the Draft?
TT: I try not to be nervous as best as I can. In a way I don't have anything to be nervous about since I don't care which team picks me or at what number I go.
6. Which is stressing you more, EnglishΒ interviews or physical tests?
TT: Maybe both. Bench press (laughs) and English interviews can be tough.
12. How far along have you planned your career with, for example, your parents or your agent?
TT: Haven't really planned things with others but I've thought about them myself. I try to go step by step and not jump too far ahead.
14. How does it feel to be so young with all the star players in Jokerit?
TT: How to say it? I haven't felt like I was young but a part of the team instead. The team's been very good with me and they haven't been looking down at me like: "oh he's young". It's been fun to play in an experienced team.
15. Is there a generational gap between players?
TT: You can see the age difference, older players look older but we're all childish, at least with our topics.
17. What does a 17-year-old do in the sauna nights of the team?
TT: I actually haven't been in any yet. I've always been at national team's camps or something.
19. Did you get the number you wanted?
TT: I did, yeah. I could've taken #18 but Semir (Ben-Amor) has it. But i'm happy with #86, it's good.
23. What are your strengthsΒ as a player?
TT: Offensive play and with that playing with the puck, passing, IQ, power play and skill, just the usual skill - skill with hands.
24. And weaknesses?
TT: They are to do with defensive play, strength and physicality. Battles and such but I think I took a step forward last season. That's a good thing.
25. Have you ever been "pressed into a mold" or has your playing style gotten to develop naturally?
TT: As a kid the play was mostly offensive/attacking, I didn't have to think about playing defence. Up until 15 years old, I got to attack pretty freely. Playing defence became more important when I started to play in A-juniors a couple seasons ago.
26. On a scale from 1 to 10 how determined are you?
TT: Maybe 8, feels like an 8.
32. What kind of role are you planning to take with Jokerit next season?
TT: I think a pretty big one. I try to be a top player and not just take others' example but give others example myself too. So that someone in the team can take something out of the way I do things on the ice and off the ice.
35. If you could pick anyone, who would be your car driver?
TT: Nico Manelius for sure. He's been my driver this season. I've had others too, like Riku Hahl but he's not nearly at the same level. Nico’s clearly the best.
36. What are the most important qualifications to be a good driver?
TT: The car is obviously important. Hahl's car is totally awful, he takes a lot of heat for it from the guys too. I wouldn't dare driving with him. Manelius is a steady performer, never lets you down.
38. What sports did you play as a 10-year-old?
TT: Hockey and floorball, probably football (soccer) during the summers at the time too.
42. When did you decide to focus only on hockey?
TT: So when I stopped playing other sports? Three years ago, before that floorball was kind of a side thing, I played a couple of games in the regular season and playoffs.
45. Do you follow floorball or other sports? Go to games?
TT: I don't go to games but I like to watch floorball on TV, it's an interesting sport. Sometimes I watch football too but I don't follow it much. Feels like they never score there.
47. Have you ever played with a wooden stick?
TT: As a kid I did play with a wooden stick.
49. You won the hockey players' golf tournament last summer even though there were more experienced players too. Are you good with all stick games?
TT: Well, I've been pretty good in all of them. I've played golf for a long time and still play it.
50. How is your swing?
TT: Pretty bold, kind of a hockey swing. I don't really care where the ball goes - as long as it goes far.
52. What do you think of off-ice training?
TT: Let's just say it's more stupid than being on the ice but you still gotta do it to be better on the ice.
56. Which word describes your professional relationshipΒ (with his coach, Tomek Valtonen), tranquil or colorful?
TT: Colorful of course. At times we're joking around, other times it's more serious but the relationship is really good.
57. Coaching you has been described in many words: good, bad, worse. What are they?
TT: Heh, well... I won't tell them here. He (Tomek) keeps the discipline during practices but sometimes when things haven't gone to a plan I've had to jump on an exercise bike in the middle of a practice.
58. What have been the reasons?
TT: I'll quote Tomek: "when I haven't been present".
59. Have you ever tried to turn the resistance of the bike to zero?
TT: (Laughs) Of course I have and sometimes I've even succeeded.
60. Describe your diet in three words?
TT: Greasy, healthy and good!
64. Your first name is not common for people your age. How did your parents come up with it?
TT: I actually don't even know. Maybe they didn't want a usual Ville*....
(*very common name for men of all ages in Finland)
66. Which of these is the most important: skill, unexpectedness or courage?
TT: Skill!
68. Your longest video game stint?
TT: Six hours, at least. I've played a lot of War of Duty lately.
72. The dumbest thing that has made you upset in hockey?
TT: Probably if I didn't get an assist on a goal even though I should have. Or even worse is if I score and they mark it down for someone else.
79. Have you had any concussions?
TT: I haven't had any, I've managed to always dodge them.*
(*ouch, tho it's good the recent one is his only as far as i remember)
84. In 2011 Team Finland finished in the 5th place at the U-18 tournament. Why only as 5th?
TT: Because we lost to Team Russia in the quarter final, just as well we could have won that game too.
89. You didn't get to be on the ice to accept the SM-Liiga bronze medal (because of the U-18's). When and where did you get it?
TT: I actually still haven't received it, I don't know where it is.
93. What is the population of Helsinki?
TT: There's like 5 million people in Finland so maybe around 500k in Helsinki? (to be exact 596k) Did i really get it right...?
94. Who's the mayor of Helsinki?
TT: I don't know, I barely know the president.
95. Do you think the municipalities in the capital city area should merge?
TT: Luckily I don't have to decide but they probably shouldn't.
96. What do you check first in the news paper?
TT: The sports section.
97. Your favorite tv show?
TT: Putous* was pretty good, I liked a lot of the characters. The grandma was pretty good.
(*Finnish live improvisation comedy/sketch show (there are still new seasons, the latest just finished). Every actor comes up with a humor character with a catchy phrase and one of them wins. "The grandma" is Marja Tyrni and I just got such flashbacks from typing this sentence.)
98. Last book you read?
TT: I don't read many books. The last book was a study book, a Finnish book. I wrote an essay on Tiki (Esa) Tikkanen's biography. An eventful book, great career and a lot of chirps.
99. Who should we ask the 99 questions next?
TT: Riku Hahl could have good stories, he's also seen a lot of the world.
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primroseprime2019 Β· 3 years ago
Text
Con Job
"Alright! Chores are done! Now can we do some dune-bashing?!" Miko pleaded Bulkhead from her position on his shoulder as he walked into the command centre.
"I don't know, Miko. Last time, I spent a week picking sand out of my articulators. But there's a monster-truck rally in town," Bulkhead offered, causing Miko to light up.
"What is it with you and monster-truck rallies?" Paige asked as she leaned into Optimus, resting on his shoulder.
"They're awesome!" Miko answered casually.
"Optimus! I'm receiving a signal from a restricted band! It appears to be coming from a starship within the solar system," Ratchet reported, "It's an Autobot identification beacon!"
"So there are other bots out there?" Jack surmised.
"The masses scattered to the galaxy after Cybertron finally went dark. But 'Cons have been known to fake traps with false beacons," Arcee pointed out. Paige looked down at the mention of Cybertron but she was hiding her sadness at the fact that she was most likely the last Galatrian in the world.
And it hurt. Optimus, almost as if he sensed her sadness, gently brushed the girl's back with his digit before he looked back at the screens.
"Unknown vessel, this is Autobot Outpost Omega One. Identify yourself."
After some static, they got the answer they were looking for. And it made Bulkhead happy.
"I've had warmer welcomes from Decepticon combat grenades!"
"Wheeljack?!" Bulkhead exclaimed excitedly as he ran forward, causing Miko to nearly fall off his shoulder, "You old 'Con crusher! What are you doing all the way out here?!"
"Bulkhead? That you? What's with all the security?"
"The rock we're on is crawling with 'Cons. How soon can you get here and even the odds?" Bulkhead asked.
"Sometime tomorrow...if I put metal to the pedal."
"Another bot's coming here! How cool is that?!" Miko gushed excitedly.
"Wheeljack... I know him by reputation only. Can you verify his voiceprint?" Optimus asked.
"He is 1000% the real deal, Optimus," Bulkhead nodded.
"Aw, y'all wouldn't forget about us so easily, would ya?" A mech's voice asked playfully. Arcee widened her optics in surprise, "Jazz?"
"Us?" Jack repeated curiously. "I'm here with Jazz and Wheeljack," Prowl chuckled.
"Don't leave us out, ya old mech," another voice said and Primrose widened her optics with joy and surprise.
"WhiteRain, Nightwalker!" She said excitedly. "Hiya Prim," the other femme said.
"Hey, Rosie," Nightwalker said excitedly.
"New bots! And they sound cool!" Paige said happily. Upon hearing that, Optimus and Ratchet softly glared at the girl.
"You're all cool too," Paige said quickly with a smile and the others chuckled. "Whatever you say, Sweetspark," Ratchet chuckled.
"Who's the little lady?" Jazz asked. "You'll see her soon," Ratchet chuckled.
"We will send landing coordinates, Wheeljack. Safe journey," Optimus bidded.
"See you soon, buddy. I'll make sure you get a proper welcome," Bulkhead promised before the transmission was terminated.
"So...who's the boyfriend?" Arcee asked casually.
"Me and Jacky go way back. We were part of the same warrior unit: The Wreckers. Which means the 'Cons are gonna wish he never found us," Bulkhead proclaimed.
"Oh boy," Primrose grimaced as she facepalmed dramatically, "And I thought we had enough male ego around here!"
"Try living with them for as long as I have," Arcee retorted with a smirk.
"I don't know how you survive," Primrose chuckled.
"Hey!" Bulkhead exclaimed in mock offence.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"Wheeljack? You old 'Con Crusher! What are you doing all the way out here?"
"Bulkhead? That you? What's will all the security?"
"The rock we're on is crawling with 'Cons. How soon can you get here and even the odds?"
"A war hero, hmmm?" Ember pondered aloud.
"We haven't much time. Makeshift!" Starscream called out.
Makeshift approached the three Decepticons. As soon as Makeshift was close enough, Soundwave stuck out his clawed tentacle and stabbed Makeshift. Within moments, Makeshift wasn't himself anymore.
"Let us give the Autobots a proper welcome," Ember said with a soft yet dark chuckle.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"Wheeljack's ship is approaching the landing zone," Arcee reported happily.
"You think he's here to visit?" Raf asked.
"Maybe he'll stay! Hm, has to find his own human, though," Miko mused, "How about Paige?"
"No!" Bulkhead, Primrose and Arcee protested and Bumblebee glanced at Optimus who's shoulders tensed up with protectiveness upon hearing Miko.
"GroundBridge cycling up," Ratchet reported proudly, before sparks flew from the controls, causing him to grumble as he whacked it with his fist, "Blasted Scraplets! The equipment hasn't been the same since the infestation." "What are they like?" Paige asked, looking to Primrose, "the new bots, I mean."
"Jazz and Prowl are complete opposites of each other," Primrose chuckled, "Jazz is a bit of a musical delight while Prowl is a little by-the-book. WhiteRain is sassy and creative although her personality says different and Nightwalker's just a cowboy- rowdy and rambunctious."
"Him, Cliff and I would get into all kinds of mischief," Arcee chuckled. Paige smiled softly and she leaned into Arcee's neck cables.
"So Wheeljack's gonna land halfway around the world?" Jack began, "and then you'll just bridge him and the others here?"
"We can't risk revealing the location of our base. Just in case the Decepticons are tracking Wheeljack's ship," Optimus explained the reasoning behind this action.
"Someone wanna calm Bulkhead's pacing?" Primrose asked as she gestured to the pacing Bulkhead.
"Allow me," Miko smirked before approaching the railing, "Dude! I've never seen you so stoked!"
"You're gonna love Wheeljack! We were like brothers! And tonight, we're gonna party!" Bulkhead proclaimed.
"Sweet!" Miko cheered. The alarms went off.
"Bogies! Closing fast on Wheeljack's position!" Arcee reported.
"'Con scum!" Bulkhead exclaimed in anger.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Wheeljack's ship, the Jackhammer, flew through the air, being tailed by five Decepticons who shot at the Autobot ship.
The Jackhammer dodged every shot except one. A blaster shot hit the engine and the ship made a huge dent in the desert as it crashed and skidded for a few feet.
The Vehicons landed and transformed into their bipedal forms. One of them took a step forward only to be met with a blaster to the chestplates and it fell to the ground.
WhiteRain, Nightwalker, Jazz, Prowl and Wheeljack stepped out of the smoke. Nightwalker's blaster was out and smoking.
"You trying to ruin our day, you're gonna have to try harder than that," Wheeljack said before he activated his battle mask and the five Autobots charged at the Vehicons, drawing their weapons.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Echo watched the scene on the screen, her wings twitching slightly. Ember turned to Soundwave, "swiftly now. Before the other Autobots arrive."
Soundwave only nodded in response.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"Open the bridge, Ratchet! We're missing all the action!" Bulkhead pointed out.
"I'll prepare sick bay," Ratchet decided as he activated the bridge.
"Who for? The 'Cons? This is Wheeljack we're talking about!" Bulkhead scoffed in disbelief before running into the portal with Arcee and Bumblebee following him.
"Why do I get the feeling that something bad is about to happen?" Primrose suddenly asked.
"Prim, you worry way too much," Firestorm teased her affectionately.
"I can't help it, Fire. It runs in the family!" Primrose defended as she jerked her helm in Optimus' direction.
"I heard that," Optimus called out from the other side of the room.
"You were meant to!" Primrose called back. "It's strange that Bulkhead only talks of Wheeljack and not of the other bots," Paige said, tilting her head slightly.
"Well Bulkhead and Wheeljack have known each other since the War began," Ratchet said, "trust me, imagine how their reunion will look."
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
When Arcee, Bulkhead and Bumblebee arrived at the scene, they were expecting a fight. They were expecting to be attacked by the Decepticons. So they had their blasters ready to go. However, there was no need. Surrounding them were dismantled Decepticon warriors. Bulkhead could only stand and watch in pure amazement as Wheeljack ran his blade through the remaining Decepticon and he fell to the ground.
"I taught him that," Bulkhead chuckled proudly.
"Ever think we might need a hand here?" Nightwalker asked as he sheathed his blades and he and the others approached the three Autobots.
"What? And spoil the show?" Bulkhead scoffed.
"You missed one," Arcee said, placing her servo on her hip. WhiteRain unlocked her blaster and shot the remaining Vehicon right in the faceplates, taking care of it quickly.
"If this is all you got, then this planet is in much bigger trouble than I thought," Wheeljack remarked. Bulkhead widened his optics before he hurried up to the other two Wreckers and picked them up into a hug, laughing with joy.
Nightwalker chuckled as he and Arcee clapped servos together and patted each other's backs.
Jazz smiled as he rubbed Bumblebee's helm and Prowl chuckled. Arcee grinned as she watched the two Wreckers.
"Haha, watch the finish, you old wrecking ball," WhiteRain chuckled.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
The ground bridge opened and the Autobots ran into the base. Ratchet jumped slightly when the controls sparked and so did the ground bridge.
"Jacky, Rain, come here. Meet my other best buddy, Miko. She can wreck with the best of us," Bulkhead boasted.
"Hiya," Miko greeted.
"You keeping Bulkhead out of trouble?" WhiteRain asked as she leaned in closer.
"I try. But trouble finds us anyway," Miko answered. "More like you find trouble," Primrose chuckled as she hugged Nightwalker and WhiteRain.
"We're gonna get along just fine," Wheeljack chuckled and he walked up to Optimus, "Optimus Prime. It's a privilege."
"Likewise, soldier," Optimus said, "What have you to report from your long journey?"
"Been bouncing from rock to rock searching for signs of friend or foe. Now I find both," Wheeljack shrugged casually.
"We are few but strong. We have suffered losses. But we have grown. And we would relish welcoming a new member into our fold," Optimus said.
"I would be honored," Wheeljack smiled.
"Then let's get this party started!" Bulkhead cheered as he slapped Wheeljack's back and they bumped chests.
"Oh joy," Ratchet said sarcastically with a frown. Jazz looked around before he saw Paige hiding behind Arcee's pede.
Jazz smiled softly and he bent down on one knee and held his servo out. "C'mon out, Lil Lady. I won't hurt ya."
Paige looked up at Arcee who gave a reassuring nod and the girl walked over to Jazz before she climbed into his servo.
"You're a Galatrian," Prowl said, blinking in surprise, "I've heard of you but I didn't think there'd be one on Earth of all places." "She's so cute and tiny," WhiteRain said with a giggle.
Paige blushed and she waved her fist at the other femme, "I'm not tiny!" "Fiesty little thing," Nightwalker snickered.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"The moment Makeshift passed through their GroundBridge, we lost their signal," Starscream announced, "the Autobot base is no doubt heavilly shielded to prevent us from locating it. No matter. I have complete faith in Makeshift," Starscream reassured himself as he and Soundwave walked into a prison cell with Wheeljack- the real one- hanging from energy-suspended shackles.
"Our inside man is already inside," Starscream said. Wheeljack looked at the two Decepticons with narrowed optics, "tell Megatron he's fragged in the helm if he thinks Bulkhead won't sniff out an imposter."
"Haven't you heard? Someone else leads the Decepticons now," Starscream said, a hint of bitterness in his tone.
"You? Ha!" Wheeljack scoffed with laughter. Starscream growled and raised his claws to strike the Autobot only for Soundwave to grab him by the wrist.
"Yes," Starscream hissed and he yanked his servo away, "yes he may be yet of use," he looked back at Wheeljack, "Makeshift is very good at keeping up appearances. He need only fool your friends long enough to open their ground bridge from within so that I may finally learn the location of the Autobot base and send in my strike team to stain its floor with the spilled energon of Optimus Prime."
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Loud electric guitar music filled the atrium as Miko played for the group, dancing a bit as she did. Paige and Raf sat nearby listening.
"Come on, Wheeljack! Show me what you got!" Bulkhead challenged as he caught the metal ball and threw it back, "Nice lob!"
"So...what's that about?" Jack asked.
"It's called lobbing. A favourite pass-time on Cybertron. Especially among the warrior class," Arcee clarified.
"Come on, Raf! Show us some moves!" Miko encouraged as the familiar beats filled the room.
"Oh, alright...," Raf sighed as he stood up...and did the robot.
"Of course. The robot," Jack laughed. Paige laughed as Bumblebee copied Raf.
"Oh the irony," Nightwalker laughed before he decided to join the two.
Paige watched Miko play her guitar and she walked away. "Hey Paige, can you sing something for us?" Miko asked, a smug grin on her face, "I'm sure Wheeljack would love to hear your voice for the first time."
Paige felt her cheeks warm up as everyone looked at her, even Ratchet. "U-um," Paige said and she glared at Miko, "you are so dead."
Miko stuck her tongue out at her. Paige sighed before she placed her phone on the amp and plugged it in.
"Said there's nothing that we can't do when we're dancing," Paige sang, "I can feel the music more when I'm with you. With your hands on me, I feel my heartbeat racing. Now."
"Had to let go of everything that I know," She continued, swinging her hips a little, "before, -ore, -ore. One, two, three, yeah, come with me. We can work it differently. One, two, three, and dance with me tonight! And maybe all our dreams are coming true. And, baby, I can feel you feel it too. So just let me move you. One, two, three, yeah, come with me. We can work it differently! Said one, two, three, and dance with me tonight. And maybe all our dreams are coming true and, baby, I can feel you feel it too. So just let me move you! Let me move you!"
"Yeah, little faster, little slower, it don't matter. 'Cause I never knew myself this good till now. And I hope you know this change in me forever. Forever," she did a little twirl, "had to let go of everything that I know. Before, -ore, -ore! One, two, three, yeah, come with me. We can work it differently. One, two, three, and dance with me tonight! And maybe all our dreams are coming true. And, baby, I can feel you feel it too. So just let me move you. One, two, three, yeah, come with me. We can work it differently! Said one, two, three, and dance with me tonight. And maybe all our dreams are coming true and, baby, I can feel you feel it too. So just let me move you! One, two, three, yeah, come with me. We can work it differently! Said one, two, three, and dance with me tonight. And maybe all our dreams are coming true and, baby, I can feel you feel it too. So just let me move you! Let me move you!"
She wasn't even aware Ratchet was staring at her with astonishment and the sudden applause startled her. She smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck as her cheeks turned red.
"You weren't kidding. She has an amazing voice," Jazz said, his visor glowing with delight. "I agree," Prowl chuckled.
Paige blushed more and squeaked in surprise when Ratchet scooped her up into his servo. Jack smiled and shook his head with amusement. "Where's Optimus?" He asked Arcee, suddenly noticing the absence of the Prime.
"Went for a drive. Primes don't party," Arcee answered with a smirk. "But I'll be sure to show him this when he gets back," WhiteRain said with a grin.
"Comin' at ya!" Bulkhead warned as he threw the lob ball...that Wheeljack missed and it smashed into the GroundBridge controls.
"You know, I am attempting to perform sensitive calibrations here!" Ratchet snapped, "and you almost hurt Paige!"
"Sorry, Doc. Guess we're a little charged up," Wheeljack apologized as he picked up the ball and he gently patted Paige's head with a digit, "sorry, Kit. You built this bridge from scratch, huh?"
"I did," Ratchet nodded.
"That's quite a feat of engineering," Wheeljack complimented.
"Yes. It is," Ratchet agreed.
"Something wrong with it?" Wheeljack asked casually.
"I didn't care for the way it sounded after that last jump. I put it in shutdown," Ratchet answered.
"What if you need to use it?" Wheeljack wanted to know.
"Oh, I can't disrupt the defrag process without causing irreparable damage," Ratchet shook his head.
"So...how long will the defrag take?" Wheeljack questioned, his expression darkening.
"A few hours...if we're lucky. Maybe longer," Ratchet shrugged. Paige watched Wheeljack, frowning. Something was off about the Wrecker and his aurora only fed her suspicions.
After a while, the party ended and switched to that of Bulkhead and Wheeljack telling everyone, minus Ratchet, their stories of the war.
"So there we were. No communication. Low on Energon. Surrounded by 'Cons. So what does Wheeljack do?" Bulkhead asked teasingly, noticing the excitement on the faces of Jack, Paige, Miko and Raf, "Tell them, Jackie."
"What I do best," Wheeljack said.
"He chucks his only grenade smack in the primary heat exchanger!" Bulkhead revealed.
"Seemed like a good idea at the time!" Wheeljack defended his actions with a good-natured laugh.
"The joint went SUPERNOVA!" Bulkhead recalled, spreading his servos to prove his point.
"Awesome!" Miko gasped excitedly.
"Yeah. I'm still picking shrapnel out of my backside!" Bulkhead said as he rubbed at his backside in demonstration.
"I'm not surprised given the size of your backside," Arcee smirked and Nightwalker and Bumblebee snickered.
"There it is. Jackie's signature. One grenade. One shot," Bulkhead finished the story before noticing the expression on Wheeljack's face, "Hey. You alright?"
"What?" Wheeljack stuttered.
"You don't seem like yourself," Bulkhead observed.
"What do you mean?" Wheeljack demanded.
"I don't know. You seem...quiet," Bulkhead said. "I've been stuck in a can too long. I should go topside before things go stir crazy," Wheeljack shrugged.
"I have patrol in the morning. You can come with," Bulkhead offered.
"Let's go now," Wheeljack suggested as he immediately stood up, causing Paige's suspicions over the guy's strange behavior to rise.
"And break up the party?" Bulkhead protested, "Come on! The gang's loving you! You've gotta tell them about the Battle of Dark Mount Pass!"
"You tell them. You're better at it. How about if Miko here shows me the rest of your base?" Wheeljack offered.
"Yeah. Sure, Jacky. Go ahead," Bulkhead agreed hesitantly.
"Tour starts now," Miko declared as she and Wheeljack disappeared into the hallways, "Do you play any instruments? Can you fly? Have you thrashed more Decepticons than Bulkhead?"
"Typical Miko," Primrose couldn't help but mutter, before noticing Bulkhead's forlorn expression, "Hey. You alright, Bulk?"
"Yeah. Just out of sorts I guess, Prim," Bulkhead muttered. "Don't tell me you're jealous," Arcee teased with a slight smirk amongst the concern in her optics.
"That Miko's making a new friend?! Come on! Something...something's just not right about Wheeljack," Bulkhead said.
"Bulkhead, really?" Arcee sighed, thinking that Bulkhead was just overreacting, "He's travelled for galaxies. You haven't seen him in centuries. He could just be rocket lagged or...well, bots do change, you know?"
"Not Jacky," Bulkhead protested. Firestorm and WhiteRain looked at each other.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Inside his prison, Wheeljack strugged against the confindments. His grunts of determination and occasional frustration were heard by the Decepticon guarding him. It annoyed the Vehicon to wit's end. Eventually, he had enough. He walked up to Wheeljack with his blaster unfolded from his arm and held it to his face.
"You're not going anywhere, Autobot," he proclaimed.
That was when Wheeljack took his only chance. He wrapped his legs around the Decepticon's neck. Immediately, the Decepticon struggled against his tight grip and started shooting laser blasts from his blaster.
"Blah blah blah," Wheeljack grumbled as he guided the Decepticon's target with his legs.
Within moments, Wheeljack managed to make the Decepticon shoot the control panel that kept the restraints that were restricting him active. With the control panel destroyed, Wheeljack was able to free himself. He fell to the ground when the sparks died and the cuffs shattered.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"So, that's pretty much it. Energon stock pile, powerboard generator, armory; everything you need to blow the joint sky high," Miko remarked as she wrapped up her tour with Wheeljack.
"Where's this bunker located exactly?" Wheeljack wanted to know curiously.
"If I told ya, I'd have to rip out your spark chamber," Miko answered dangerously before a happy smile appeared, "Kidding! Just outside Jasper, Nevada! Though I don't expect that to mean too much to ya!"
"Can't say it does," Wheeljack lied, "So, any way out of here besides bridging?"
"Why? You're not planning to leave already, are you?" Miko asked nervously, "Come on. I'll show ya."
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"Almost there," Ratchet proclaimed as he continued working the damaged GroundBridge controls.
"Look. I know Wheeljack better than anyone," Bulkhead boasted.
"Hey," Wheeljack said as he walked into the room with Miko, "What are you guys talking about?"
"I was just telling the guys about you and me...at the Battle of Dark Mount Pass," Bulkhead answered casually.
"That's a heck of a story," Wheeljack remarked.
"Yeah. Tell it," Bulkhead requested with narrowed optics.
"Talk, talk, talk. How about after we go off-roading?" Miko suggested.
"Miko, stay out of this," Bulkhead warned. "Bulkhead, easy," WhiteRain soothed.
"I'm not sure I-," Wheeljack began to protest.
"Tell it!" Bulkhead persisted.
"Fine. If you wanna live in the past, Bulkhead," Wheeljack shrugged casually, "The Wreckers were trapped between a Decepticon patrol and a smelting pit. The 'Cons were vicious. Raining down on us with everything they had. Me and Bulkhead engaged the enemy. Left them for scrap. Then I made us a way out using their backsides as stepping stones to cross the molten metal. Isn't that how it happened?"
"Yeah. That's exactly how it happened...except for one little thing. I wasn't there," Bulkhead revealed, causing everyone to stare at the two of them in pure alarm.
"I'd already left the Wreckers to join up with Optimus. But you would know that if all you did was access Wheeljack's public service record," Bulkhead said as he poked Makeshift's chest, challenging the Decepticon.
"Bulkhead, what does that have to do with-WHOA!" Miko screamed as Makeshift picked her up suddenly.
"Miko!" Nightwalker and Bulkhead shouted as Makeshift stood near the ground bridge.
"Stay back. Or I'll squeeze her into pulp," he growled, holding Miko in a firm grip.
"Wheeljack! What are you doing?!" Miko exclaimed. "Decepticon coward," Bulkhead growled, "let the girl go and face me!"
"Don't fret," Makeshift said, "plenty of fighting to come."
"Is there a real Wheeljack!?" Jack demanded. "Oh indeed," Makeshift said with a smirk, "and I'm sure Mistress Ember is making sport of him." Primrose froze and her optics widened.
"You Pit-Spawned fragger!" Nightwalker snarled.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"Are you certain we are at the coordinates we supplied to Makeshift?" Starscream asked Soundwave, which earned him a nod in response.
"Then what is taking him!?" The other Seeker snapped with impatience.
"Maybe they gave your boy such a hero's welcome, he got the warm and fuzzies and decided to switch sides." Starscream whirled around to see Wheeljack walking towards them, his optics blazing with bridled fury and his battle mask on.
"Do you not see you are vastly outnumbered?" Starscream taunted.
"I see fellas who might vastly enjoy me pound some dents into you," Wheeljack growled.
"Destroy him!" Starscream commanded and the Vehicons shot at Wheeljack who took out his katanas and charged at the Vehicons.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
"About time," Makeshift huffed as he activated the ground bridge. "You won't get away with this!" Primrose snarled.
"I already have," Makeshift remarked with a smirk.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Wheeljack was having an easy fight with the Vehicons. And he was getting too close to Starscream. Said Seeker fired a missile at Wheeljack. The force of the explosion was enough to knock the Wrecker back but he managed to land on his pedes, slicing and dicing any Vehicon who tried to attack him. That was when Wheeljack jumped onto Starscream, putting the Seeker down for the count.
Wheeljack heard the sound of the ground bridge opening and he turned towards it. "Well, well," he murmured as a plan formed in his mind.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Makeshift stepped back towards the ground bridge with Miko still struggling in his grip. "Let's get this party started," he said with a dangerous grin.
Wheeljack suddenly jumped into the base and kicked Makeshift hard. Miko flew across the air and Bulkhead quickly caught his charge. Makeshift hit the wall and was unconscious for a few moments.
"I'd shut that hole before the stink comes through," Wheeljack remarked. "Couldn't have said it better myself," Nightwalker said.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Starscream coughed as he got up. Energon trailed down his jaw and he looked towards the ground bridge with wide, angry optics. "Enter the ground bridge now!" He shouted.
The Vehicons hurried towards the ground bridge only for it to close. Starscream let out a yell of anger.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
Makeshift took out his blades and he and Wheeljack circled each other. Bulkhead stepped forward, but Wheeljack stopped him. "Ugly's mine," he said.
That was when the fight began. The two went at each other. Swords clashed and sparks flew. Everyone watched, ready to intervene if needed.
Paige pulled Raf close to her in a sisterly fashion and Raf clung to her. "Which one's the real Wheeljack?" He asked.
"I lost track!" Miko exclaimed. "The one with the bright grey aurora," Paige said. Jack looked to her in confusion.
Makeshift slashed at one of Wheeljack's swords and charged at him. Wheeljack managed to claim one of the Decepticon's swords, using them both to knock him to the ground. He won.
"That's my Jacky," Bulkhead boasted proudly. Wheeljack deactivated his battle mask and looked to Ratchet, "you, hit the switch."
Ratchet nodded in response and turned to activate the ground bridge. "It's time to take out the trash," Wheeljack said and he smiled at Bulkhead, "all yours, buddy."
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
The ground bridge appeared before the Decepticons once again. The Vehicons backed away for a moment.
"What are you waiting for?! GO!" Starscream shouted. The first few Vehicons quickly ran into the ground bridge.
Bulkhead held Makeshift's defeated form in his servos before he spun around and threw the Con right into the ground bridge. The first few Decepticons saw Makeshift hurling at them and they quickly turned tail and ran.
Starscream saw them and before he could even reprimand them, Makeshift slammed into him and the two fell to the ground.
Wheeljack smiled at Bulkhead, "nice lob."
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
At the Decepticon warship, the Autobot ground bridge closed. Starscream got up and glared at Makeshift, "please tell me that you at least learned the location of their base."
"Indeed Commander Starscream. It is in a hidden bunker just outside of-" Makeshift's explanation was cut off by the familiar beeping sound. Starscream glanced at the bomb that was attached to Makeshift's hip.
"Whoa! Back! Back! Back!" He exclaimed as he hurried away. Makeshift stood where he was and he looked down at the bomb on his hip. "Oh no," he murmured before the bomb exploded, eliminating him and any Decepticon who stood too close.
"MAKESHIFT! YOU FOOL!" Starscream shouted in anger as he and Soundwave flew away.
In the control bridge, Ember and Echo stood in the control bridge. Ember frowned as she felt the ship rock from the explosion. "Starscream better not have ruined this ship," she muttered.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
In the Autobot base, things had returned to normal. Miko was playing her guitar while Bumblebee, Nightwalker, Jazz Jack and Raf were dancing. Paige hadn't joined them as she was leaning on the railing, watching them with a smile.
Ratchet groaned in annoyance, "it's like a recurring nightmare." WhiteRain and Prowl chuckled softly.
"Now that you're part of Team Prime, we need to pick out a vehicle mode for you," Bulkhead said, gently bumping Wheeljack's arm, "I have some ideas."
"Uh... about that, Bulk," Wheeljack said hesitantly, "now that my ship's repaired, I'm itching to know what else I might find out there."
"Wait! You're leaving? Why!?" Miko pouted. "Well... because some bots never change," Bulkhead said with a soft chuckle. Wheeljack smiled softly.
"Wheeljack, know that you will always have a haven here," Optimus said.
"Jacky never stays but he always comes back," Bulkhead said proudly and he and Wheeljack did a fist bump. "Feels like you just got here, Sparrow," Paige said with a playful smile.
Wheeljack chuckled and gently ruffled her hair, "yeah, well I'll be sure to let you know if I find any more Magic Users out in the galaxy, Kit." Paige smiled softly and she hugged his digit, "thank you, Jackie. That... that means a lot."
"Anytime Paige," Wheeljack said with a soft smile. "We'll see you off," Firestorm said with a soft smile.
β—Šβ—Šβ—Šβ—Š
In the desert, the ground bridge closed up. Wheeljack turned to Bulkhead, "there's room for two Bulk. Even with a backside like yours. Who knows what we might find out there? Some of the old crew?"
Bulkhead furrowed his optic ridges and he glanced at Miko who looked down sadly. The wrecker looked back at his friend, "sounds like fun, Jacky. But my ties are here now. With them. With her." Upon hearing that, Miko smiled up at her guardian.
Wheeljack gave a respectful nod to his friend and he looked to Miko. "Anything happens to my favorite wrecker, I'm comin' after you," he threatened playfully.
"I'll take good care of him," Miko said reassuringly with a smile and she pulled out her phone, "now say cheese." With that, she took a picture of the two Wreckers.
Bulkhead and Primrose looked to Wheeljack. "WhiteRain," Bulkhead said, a spark of hope igniting in his optics.
"I'm here to stay, sweetspark," WhiteRain said and she kissed Bulkhead on the cheek. "And if I find any wreckers, I'll be the first to let you know," Wheeljack promised. "What's special between you and WhiteRain?" Miko asked curiously.
"She and Bulkhead are boyfriend and girlfriend," Primrose, Firestorm, Nightwalker and Arcee chorused. "Aw," Paige said with a smile as Bulkhead and WhiteRain blushed and Wheeljack chuckled.
The white Wrecker shook his helm with a smile before he saluted everyone and went into the Jackhammer. The door closed and the Jackhammer flew up into the air, disappearing through the clouds.
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brokenheartedbutbeautiful Β· 4 years ago
Text
Work in progress
Mental pain, Physical pain, where's the difference?
Depression, Anxiety, a constant battle of the mind!
Depression and Anxiety, a constant fight to stay alive
They're always find ways to bring me down, to make me hurt
I'll always try to find ways to counteract them, to stay alive
Being alive inside? That's harder then most people realise!
When people ask me "Are you ok?" "Are you all right?"
I grit my teeth, lying straight through them, saying "I'm fine"
They always believe my facade and walk away carefree
Not knowing or seeing, I'm slowly breaking down inside
Sometimes I look up and pray to the moon
Begging and pleading for my life to be over soon
Because I know the world would be better off without me
Without me running around, causing problems for everyone
I didn't ask to be born this way! I didn't ask to be born as this!
I didn't ask to be diagnosed with multiple different problems!
I didn't ask to be bullied! I didn't ask to have nightmares!
I DIDN'T ASK TO BE TORMENTED FOR SOMETHING I LIKED!
My Depression is like sturdy glass, solid see through bricks
No matter how hard I punch to break, smash or even dent it
With bloodied, bruised and broken fists, it doesn't break at all
It just stands there, my blood staining it's walls, mocking me
Daring me to punch it again, knowing I'm in pain everywhere
It doesn't care about my pain, it feeds from it and craves it
I'm in pain everywhere in my mind, not on my body
Depression's pain will always be mental, till made physical.
Cuts, scratches, easily done to turn mental pain physical
I had a mental breakdown, I turned numb, emotionless, void
Like my emotions had been turned off, at the wrong time
I've started feeling detached from them since then
They are there, they're just harder to reach, harder to touch
My only remaining emotions are sadness, anger and fear
They're easier to clasp onto, like they're my ghostly remains
The ghostly remains of my mental and emotional stability
I can bearly manage to clasp onto good, positive emotions
Love, happiness, hope, they're more harder then I realised
Harder to get, harder to hold on to, harder to keep there
But they are the easiest emotions to let go of, to lose
Apologising for everything I do, I know I shouldn't yet I do
The words just spill out, even when I try to stop them, I can't
My fists still on the glass, faceless others on the other side
I beg for help, they just stand there, pointing, laughing at me
Every night, it becomes harder and harder to fall asleep
Every time I close my eyes, they are there, pointing, laughing
Every night, it's a nightmare, a good dream is very rare
When a good dream does come, I don't let go of it.
The faceless people shout at me, laughing at me flinching
They laugh because I always flinch when people shout
I've been rejected so many times in life, I've gotten used to it
It's gotten easier to put a fake smile, because it's believable
On the outside I smile, but I'm smiling through the pain.
On the outside I laugh, but I'm laughing through my tears
On the inside I scream, screaming for help that never comes
On the inside I cry, crying for someone who won't appear.
People say they know me, have they looked past my eyes?
Have the looked into my eyes, to see the pain I'm in?
Have they noticed my silent pleads for help?
Have they noticed how much I've become drained?
No they haven't, they never have and probably never will
Sometimes during the night, I wake up with tears in my eyes
I don't wake anyone up, I don't wanna feel like a burden
I am emotionally paralysed for the next days, maybe weeks
I didn't ask to have nightmares, almost every night!
I didn't ask to be awoken by having a mental breakdown!
I didn't ask to almost, always be on the edge of crying!
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THAT, YET I'VE HAVE THEM!
My emotions are like a slow fading, blinking light
They slowly fade, slowly blink out and in of existence
Before they slowly go into the dark, into pitch black nothing
They slowly die, one by one before I feel nothing no emotion
I still sometimes have that one recurring nightmare
I still dream that I'm hanging there, rope around my neck
My neck black, purple and blue, scratches bleeding out
My left wrist cut wide open, flowing like a rushing river
My dreams are getting more and more vivid, I can feel them
I can see them, I can hear them, they are becoming worse
I'm coughing from where the rope was around my neck
1st of August is getting closer, I'm scared because of it
A past isn't something you should be afraid of
It isn't something you shouldn't keep locked up inside
My past has always been one I'm not entirely proud of
I never opened up about it I'm scared of being seen as weak.
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dazzlingandconfused Β· 7 years ago
Text
You ever realize that you support way too many causes to actually get involved in all of them in depth. Like Black Lives Matter, the California Wildfires, Puerto Rico, Flint Michigan's water crisis, the president being not only racist but a beligerant idiot about 99% of the things he speaks about? And homeless people, and veterans, actual nazis, and kids who need adopted, about equal rights for all not just people who don't look and think like you do? Im not sure but I know I watched all the Disney movies growing up and I know most people have seen a good handful if not all of them, and I feel like that shit got ingrained I to my DNA as a kid. Like Esmeralda speaking up for her fellow gypsies and for Quasimodo when she knew he wasn't helping the people who needed it most. And Pocahontas telling John Smith that her, and her people weren't savages just because they didnt look like him, or speak his language, or religion, or ways of life. And Nani always tried to do right by Lilo, even if it meant that she was put into foster care to go have a better life with a new family because Nani couldn't give it to her. And that shit broke her, hell I'm about crying now and I'm just recalling from memory what went down. These were great lessons to me as a child, maybe even better lessons than I've learned being(trying to be) an adult in the real world. Why all the greed? Why all the hate? Why are you scared of opening up and being honest or changing for the better? Like, those are good things you should be proud of yourself for trying because most people just keep their heads down and hustle a good hustle never realizing that they're just like their parents, there has been no progress within themselves, and they've become all the parts of the previous generation that twisted your stomach to learn about as an innocent little kid. it just pains me to feel so helpless, because you could focus all your energy on one cause all your life and never see a dent made in it. Or maybe you do make a dent and then people want to scrutinize you and ask why you haven't helped with X,Y, and Z too. Idk man it might just be me but I wanna be somebody today, that would make my kid self proud. I hope that we really get it together with these new generations, its going to be so much harder for older generations with their outdated and cruel ideals to pull the wool over their eyes. I hope we get it right or they do. It just makes me feel hopeless sometimes but also hopeful because its not over yet. Nothings over yet.
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