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[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Welp I'm always being outted!

Reblog, don’t be shy.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

What’s so bad about periods

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Reblog to let your followers know you are a safe person to come out to.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Completed

Mental pain, Physical pain, where's the difference?

Depression, Anxiety, a constant battle of the mind!

Depression and Anxiety, a constant fight to stay alive

They're always find ways to bring me down, to make me hurt

I'll always try to find ways to counteract them, to stay alive

Being alive inside? That's harder then most people realise!

When people ask me "Are you ok?" "Are you all right?"

I grit my teeth, lying straight through them, saying "I'm fine"

They always believe my facade and walk away carefree

Not knowing or seeing, I'm slowly breaking down inside

Sometimes I look up and pray to the moon

Begging and pleading for my life to be over soon

Because I know the world would be better off without me

Without me running around, causing problems for everyone

I didn't ask to be born this way! I didn't ask to be born as this!

I didn't ask to be diagnosed with multiple different problems!

I didn't ask to be bullied! I didn't ask to have nightmares!

I DIDN'T ASK TO BE TORMENTED FOR SOMETHING I LIKED!

My Depression is like sturdy glass, solid see through bricks

No matter how hard I punch to break, smash or even dent it

With bloodied, bruised and broken fists, it doesn't break at all

It just stands there, my blood staining it's walls, mocking me

Daring me to punch it again, knowing I'm in pain everywhere

It doesn't care about my pain, it feeds from it and craves it

I'm in pain everywhere in my mind, not on my body

Depression's pain will always be mental, till made physical.

Cuts, scratches, easily done to turn mental pain physical

I had a mental breakdown, I turned numb, emotionless, void

Like my emotions had been turned off, at the wrong time

I've started feeling detached from them since then

They are there, they're just harder to reach, harder to touch

My only remaining emotions are sadness, anger and fear

They're easier to clasp onto, like they're my ghostly remains

The ghostly remains of my mental and emotional stability

I can bearly manage to clasp onto good, positive emotions

Love, happiness, hope, they're more harder then I realised

Harder to get, harder to hold on to, harder to keep there

But they are the easiest emotions to let go of, to lose

Apologising for everything I do, I know I shouldn't yet I do

The words just spill out, even when I try to stop them, I can't

My fists still on the glass, faceless others on the other side

I beg for help, they just stand there, pointing, laughing at me

Every night, it becomes harder and harder to fall asleep

Every time I close my eyes, they are there, pointing, laughing

Every night, it's a nightmare, a good dream is very rare

When a good dream does come, I don't let go of it.

The faceless people shout at me, laughing at me flinching

They laugh because I always flinch when people shout

I've been rejected so many times in life, I've gotten used to it

It's gotten easier to put a fake smile, because it's believable

On the outside I smile, but I'm smiling through the pain.

On the outside I laugh, but I'm laughing through my tears

On the inside I scream, screaming for help that never comes

On the inside I cry, crying for someone who won't appear.

People say they know me, have they looked past my eyes?

Have the looked into my eyes, to see the pain I'm in?

Have they noticed my silent pleads for help?

Have they noticed how much I've become drained?

No they haven't, they never have and probably never will

Sometimes during the night, I wake up with tears in my eyes

I don't wake anyone up, I don't wanna feel like a burden

I am emotionally paralysed for the next days, maybe weeks

I didn't ask to have nightmares, almost every night!

I didn't ask to be awoken by having a mental breakdown!

I didn't ask to almost, always be on the edge of crying!

I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THAT, YET I'VE HAVE THEM!

My emotions are like a slow fading, blinking light

They slowly fade, slowly blink out and in of existence

Before they slowly go into the dark, into pitch black nothing

They slowly die, one by one before I feel nothing no emotion

I still sometimes have that one recurring nightmare

I still dream that I'm hanging there, rope around my neck

My neck black, purple and blue, scratches bleeding out

My left wrist cut wide open, flowing like a rushing river

My dreams are getting more and more vivid, I can feel them

I can see them, I can hear them, they are becoming worse

I'm coughing from where the rope was around my neck

1st of August is getting closer, I'm scared because of it

A past isn't something you should be afraid of

It isn't something you shouldn't keep locked up inside

My past has always been one I'm not entirely proud of

I never opened up about it I'm scared of being seen as weak

"When will I be able to actually love someone?"

A question that's constantly on my mind, the answer?

Never actually given, the answer I'll never get to understand

A question without an answer, it pains me to no end

The answer's wrath is one I'll never be forced to face

The question will never leave, it's punishment is to no end

It'll always stay, trapped in my head, it wanting an answer

An answer my parents won't give up, it's a curse to not know

I feel like I have to keep my emotions in order, all the time

I feel like I have to stay strong, I feel like I have no choice

I have to stay strong, not for myself but my family

I have to keep my emotions under control, for my family.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Bisexual and proud!

Reblog if you’re bisexual, support bisexual people or are actually a bunch of tiny velociraptors in a human suit

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Rest in Peace for our fallen warriors, may they finally have the peace they deserve.

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Work in progress

Mental pain, Physical pain, where's the difference?

Depression, Anxiety, a constant battle of the mind!

Depression and Anxiety, a constant fight to stay alive

They're always find ways to bring me down, to make me hurt

I'll always try to find ways to counteract them, to stay alive

Being alive inside? That's harder then most people realise!

When people ask me "Are you ok?" "Are you all right?"

I grit my teeth, lying straight through them, saying "I'm fine"

They always believe my facade and walk away carefree

Not knowing or seeing, I'm slowly breaking down inside

Sometimes I look up and pray to the moon

Begging and pleading for my life to be over soon

Because I know the world would be better off without me

Without me running around, causing problems for everyone

I didn't ask to be born this way! I didn't ask to be born as this!

I didn't ask to be diagnosed with multiple different problems!

I didn't ask to be bullied! I didn't ask to have nightmares!

I DIDN'T ASK TO BE TORMENTED FOR SOMETHING I LIKED!

My Depression is like sturdy glass, solid see through bricks

No matter how hard I punch to break, smash or even dent it

With bloodied, bruised and broken fists, it doesn't break at all

It just stands there, my blood staining it's walls, mocking me

Daring me to punch it again, knowing I'm in pain everywhere

It doesn't care about my pain, it feeds from it and craves it

I'm in pain everywhere in my mind, not on my body

Depression's pain will always be mental, till made physical.

Cuts, scratches, easily done to turn mental pain physical

I had a mental breakdown, I turned numb, emotionless, void

Like my emotions had been turned off, at the wrong time

I've started feeling detached from them since then

They are there, they're just harder to reach, harder to touch

My only remaining emotions are sadness, anger and fear

They're easier to clasp onto, like they're my ghostly remains

The ghostly remains of my mental and emotional stability

I can bearly manage to clasp onto good, positive emotions

Love, happiness, hope, they're more harder then I realised

Harder to get, harder to hold on to, harder to keep there

But they are the easiest emotions to let go of, to lose

Apologising for everything I do, I know I shouldn't yet I do

The words just spill out, even when I try to stop them, I can't

My fists still on the glass, faceless others on the other side

I beg for help, they just stand there, pointing, laughing at me

Every night, it becomes harder and harder to fall asleep

Every time I close my eyes, they are there, pointing, laughing

Every night, it's a nightmare, a good dream is very rare

When a good dream does come, I don't let go of it.

The faceless people shout at me, laughing at me flinching

They laugh because I always flinch when people shout

I've been rejected so many times in life, I've gotten used to it

It's gotten easier to put a fake smile, because it's believable

On the outside I smile, but I'm smiling through the pain.

On the outside I laugh, but I'm laughing through my tears

On the inside I scream, screaming for help that never comes

On the inside I cry, crying for someone who won't appear.

People say they know me, have they looked past my eyes?

Have the looked into my eyes, to see the pain I'm in?

Have they noticed my silent pleads for help?

Have they noticed how much I've become drained?

No they haven't, they never have and probably never will

Sometimes during the night, I wake up with tears in my eyes

I don't wake anyone up, I don't wanna feel like a burden

I am emotionally paralysed for the next days, maybe weeks

I didn't ask to have nightmares, almost every night!

I didn't ask to be awoken by having a mental breakdown!

I didn't ask to almost, always be on the edge of crying!

I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THAT, YET I'VE HAVE THEM!

My emotions are like a slow fading, blinking light

They slowly fade, slowly blink out and in of existence

Before they slowly go into the dark, into pitch black nothing

They slowly die, one by one before I feel nothing no emotion

I still sometimes have that one recurring nightmare

I still dream that I'm hanging there, rope around my neck

My neck black, purple and blue, scratches bleeding out

My left wrist cut wide open, flowing like a rushing river

My dreams are getting more and more vivid, I can feel them

I can see them, I can hear them, they are becoming worse

I'm coughing from where the rope was around my neck

1st of August is getting closer, I'm scared because of it

A past isn't something you should be afraid of

It isn't something you shouldn't keep locked up inside

My past has always been one I'm not entirely proud of

I never opened up about it I'm scared of being seen as weak.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

My life story (poem) (finished)

Everyday I've had people come up to me, they always say

"you should be greatful" "Don't take your life for granted"

"You won't get another life" "Be grateful you're breathing"

"You only get one life, don't throw it away"

I am greatful, more greatful then anyone will ever know

People who are my family and closets friends know why

They know why I'm more greatful just to be alive

I'll take you back to when I was born, November 9th 2002

I was born a happy baby, with a mother and two sisters

I had a father too but he wasn't in my life, I didn't care

I just cared about the family I had, they're important then a

Dead beat dad whose name isn't on my birth certificate

You see, I was born as a normal, loving, happy, carefree kid

A kid who didn't care about pain or anguish

A kid who thought she could take on the whole world

A kid who bit off more then she could chew

By the time I was 2 and a half, a father figure had came

He did not care that me and my sisters were not his

He cared about us, he took us on, he is my step father

He's more of a father then my real dad will ever be

When I had my first heartbreak at the age of 5

I saw how hard and cruel the world really was

My staffy Rocky, taken away by some people

My first dog in this life taken away from me

By the age of 9, I felt my heart was pulled from my chest

Like someone grabbed it, made it glass and threw it

Making it smash all over concrete into glass shards

I never let anyone that wasn't my family get close to me

Before I was 12, I was bullied for a year and a half, why?

They turned my love for supernatural against me

The Twilight Saga, I got the nickname "vampire girl"

The school kicked me out, but not my tormentors?

The bullying broke me, bruised me, put me down

My self esteem went down, I wanted to commit suicide

I tried twice but I didn't go through with it

Because my family and friends came to my mind

By 12, I was diagnosed with 3 mental health issues

Asthma, Dyslexia and ADHD, but I was showing signs

Signs for 3 other issues, they would come later in my life

I was out of school for 16 months, a year and a half

I felt trapped, like a caged wolf, preparing to be shot

All I wanted to do was get out, see the world, my friends

My mental state was slowly collapsing in on it's self

I was becoming restless, I just wanted out

By the time my 13 birthday had rolled around

I went through some stuff, I shouldn't have gone through

2 weeks and 4 days, I was ripped away from my family

That experience made me realise, family is everything

By the time I was 14, I was diagnosed with Autism

I was placed in a teaching and and Learning centre

The centre was based in Battle, close to home

I was distant from everyone, a mistake I can't take back

God give me an answer because I can't take this no more

With that I cry myself to sleep, restless and shaken

The next morning I woke up, sick to my heart and soul

The next part, the sickening part, the very worst part

Is just knowing that happened to me, it made me numb

I don't feel what I felt then, I've gotten used to pain so much

I don't recall what it was like, I can't imagine what I felt

Only read it only see it, have no hope of remembering

But maybe that's a good thing

From what I've read and seen

I was completely broken and awkward

Being unable to remember the feeling

Allowed me to just read it and see it

As though it were just a regular book and movie

It's like a fresh start I know you were there

You had to suffer though it with me

You had to suffer beside me

But that was a whole other species

A species all of their own but yet like ours

Hidden in plain sight but hard to find

Waiting to be sought and found

"When you get war, you get death.

Death leaves a heartache,

no one can heal.

Love leaves a memorie,

no one can steal"

Someone told me that but I didn't listen to it

Till it was too late I was too slow

If only I listened to the wise words

I wouldn't have been hurt

March the 13th 2017, I was placed in Headstart

It was on a farm, I instantly liked with the place

It had spaces to run around, fresh air, no one judges you

I was distant from everyone at first because I was scared

As I made one friend there, I came to a realisation

I didn't have to be alone or numb ever again

I found my place, I found my home away from home

I found people that would listen to what I want to say

They listen to me and they don't judge when I finally break

I found family there, there was someone who loved me

I was shy and tried to deny my feelings for him

Because of my past experiences with love

I found out he wasn't so bad and we started dating

At first we had people try and break us apart, they failed

They failed because it just bonded us closer and closer

We faced every hurdle that was thrown at us

We started our relationship slow at first, 17 of March 2017

But as days went by, we fell more in love, it was amazing!

Everyone backed off, apart from 1 specific mewling quim

But she found out the hard way, not to get in our way

But when summer of 2019 started, things turned ugly

She tried to get between us again, almost succeeding

I finally got it through that bleached blond head of hers

That her stupid advances were majorly unwelcomed!

One day, when he went home early, I had my first one

My first mental breakdown, scars and words on my arm

I kept my arms covered, but the guilt ate away at my soul

I told my teacher Chris, he didn't like that I hid it from them

When the day ended and every student went home

Chris called my parents to let them know, I broke down

Telling them what the girl and another girl have been doing

Next day, I spent the whole morning away from them

Durning the summer, I got very bad news, I was shocked

I was being put into a temporary college, away from him

I didn't want to be away from the friends I made!

I didn't want to be away from my second home!

Over the summer, I wasn't getting better, in fact it got worse

On the 1st of August, at almost 2 in the morning

I almost joined the ones who died back in 2019

I tried committing suicide, I didn't feel anything, just numb

Like my whole body's nerve system had shut down

My nan talked to me, just as I was to take my final breath

She got me to stay alive, she mentioned everyone

Everyone that would really miss me if I had truly died

I was in and out of conciseness, I scratched at my neck

Making my neck worse because it was black and blue

They had to pin my hands to stop me, I was also shaking

I was officially diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety

Here comes the worse part, this is while I'm at the college

First full day there, I couldn't go back the next two days,

I had a Depressive episode and a panic attack that night

I was mentally and emotionally drained from having them

I've had more depressive episodes and panic attacks

While I am staying at the college, then my whole life

I've been alive for  17 years now, I've been through some shit

I wouldn't even wish any of this on my worst of enemies

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Musa Nightshade was a very promising young sorceress, she was talented as she was beautiful and kind. Everyone loved her and missed her when she was sent to the finest magic school.

Whilst she was gone, she was delighted to find out her best friend, Scarlet was crowned Empress! She couldn't wait to return home once she finished her studies!

But once she arrived she was devestated by what she saw! She walked up to a man no older then 20 and asked "What happened here?"

He just replied in a emotionless voice "The Empress happened" He deadpanned "she makes everyone work day and night on her palace, we don't have time to take care of anything else" he continued looking down at the dead leaves he was raking.

"That can't be! I know her, she would never do this" Musa told him pointing around them.

But there was no denying what was infront of her, Scarlet took everything that was beautiful away from everyone else. Musa was sure there has to be some explanation, so she went to confront her friend.

Musa walked up to the thrown and saw a woman siting on it, wearing a pitch black vail over her face and the woman wore a black dress with red and golden highlights

"Scarlet is that you?" Musa asked the woman replied.

"Don't tell me you don't recognise your old friend?" Scarlet asked of her.

"No, I don't. My friend would never work our families and friends to the bone, for something silly as a palace" Musa sighed pointing around, gesturing to the palace surrounding the thrown.

"Silly!? my palace is a beacon of beauty anyone who passes will be in awe of its majesty!" Scarlet argued.

Musa quickly and strongly disagreed "What good is a pretty palace if it just hides the misery you have its people?" Musa argued back, trying to get her point across.

"Beauty is everything! You taught me that!" Scarlet accused, pointing at Musa.

"What!?" Musa gasped, shocked at what Scarlet just said.

"You were always the pretty one, you got to go to the best magic school. Everyone missed you, everyone loved you. I'd admit I was jealous, so I tried to perform a spell that would make me beautiful. you can see how that went!"

Scarlet rounded on Musa and lifted the pitch black vail that hid her face, behind the veil was a wrinkly face that showed the spell didn't go so well, she turned from a normal 20 year old to a old , using a spell that complicated, that to a point, even Musa has a hard time doing.

"I found if I couldn't have beauty I would take it. I wasn't chosen to be Empress you know, I took it! just like I am going to take everything else" Scarlet cackled.

"I can't let you do that!" Musa stated, sad of what has become of her friend.

Scarlet rounded on her "Let me?!"

Scarlet let out a cackle like laugh and shot her wand at the floor, making vines come up out of the floor and encase Musa in a cage with thorns.

Musa managed to get out, thus angering her old friend. Scarlet shot into the sky a dragon of red and orange coming out of the tip of her wand, the dragon let out a booming, terrifying like roar.

Musa did the same, but a dragon of blue and white came out of hers. The two dragon fought, the fight was like a beautiful dance, majestic, graceful and stunning. Musa wasn't breaking a sweat whilst Scarlet was, she looked like she didn't know how to hold the spell.

The two battled on for a few minutes, until the one made of blue and white wrapped its self around the one of red and orange and made the other dragon dissapear into thin air.

The dragon of blue and white, then shot itself at Scarlet but she dodged it making the dragon hit into a plant pot and causing the plant to fall over.

Scarlet walked over to Musa, entirely and completely, unaware of the vines coming out of the plant. Even before Scarlet could cast the killing curse on Musa, the vines grabbed her around the waist, dragged her and trapped her in a vine prison. Everyone cheered at the defeat of the evil Empress

Everyone thought Scarlet was defeated and that was that but Musa knew there could be more she could do to help.

She grabbed the flower that Scarlet took off of a young boy and walked back to the village, she planted it in the very middle of the villiage and preformed a spell.

Beauty isn't everything, but Musa knew it does have the power to make people smile. Musa made a huge sacrifice to bring that smile back to her friends and family, including Scarlet.

Musa walked back up to the palace to see Scarlet out of the trap and young again.

"You did this for me? Even after I was so cruel?" Scarlet asked Musa, tears falling from her eyes. Musa just nodded and hugged her.

Scarlet was so touched that she vowed to be more like her friend, in the ways that mattered. From then on, she ruled with kindness and compassion.

Even though she gave away her physical beauty, Musa dedicated her life to spreading beauty all over the world.

Any time you go out of your way to brighten someone's day by doing something like; giving them flowers, you're following in the footsteps of Musa Nightshade.

But Musa's time was nearly almost over, she returned to her home village for her last days with the living. When Musa's death came around, the whole vallage would gaver to place flowers on her grave to bring her peace and love.

Even with the dead, she still spreads love and happyness everywhere she goes.

The End

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

A speech I've done

Trigger warning! Includes self-harm and attempted suicide! Read at your own risk.

Please don't cut yourself! I understand it's addictive and you feel like there isn't another way!

But cutting open your wrist or thigh, isn't the way to go, when you've hit a bump in the road called life!

I understand that once you put the blade to your skin and you make the first slice, the first wound, the first cut!

You can't just put the blade down and walk away, you sit there and make 1 cut, 2 cuts, 3 cuts, 4, before you know it you end up with 10 cuts on your skin!

But once you come down from the high of physical pain then you'd realise, your skin is torn open because of the cuts!

You rush to grab bandages to wrap around the still bleeding cuts, you wrap your wrists or thighs to stop the bleeding.

You cut your wrists, that's an obvious place, you cut your thighs not as obvious as your wrists, either way please don't do it!

I cut my left wrist, I regretted it because I knew that if I cut a main artery in my wrist, then I would have to say goodbye to my family and friends, I don't want to say goodbye to the ones that I care most about.

In 2018, a total of 6,507 suicides were registered in the UK, 686 more deaths than in 2017 when there were 5,821 deaths (11.8% increase). This equates to a statistically significant increase in the suicide rate, with 11.2 deaths per 100,000 population in 2018, compared with 10.1 deaths per 100,000 population in 2017.

Following several years of decline, the latest UK suicide rate has increased to the level seen when it previously peaked in 2013 (11.1 deaths per 100,000). Suicide rates tend to fluctuate on a year-to-year basis. It is therefore too early to say whether the latest increase represents a change in the recent trend.

I almost joined the ones committing suicide in 2019, back in August I almost took my life by hanging, I was almost about to take my last breath, when I saw my dead nan walking towards me.

She told me that she has been watching over the family and saw how much I was slowly breaking because of my Depression and Anxiety, that suicide is never the answer before she wrapped her arms around me, giving me a hug.

She pulled away with her hands trying to break the rope, I opened my eyes and tore the rope from around my neck, stood on nearly collapsing legs and managed to wobble down the stairs before collapsing, I had to be taken to hospital at nearly 2 in the morning.

I had bruising and scratches on my neck because I was scratching at where the rope used to be. I scared my whole family that day, I regretted trying to kill myself but I'm thankful that my nan was there to help me see sense.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

I'm getting a lot of people following me I check their accounts and they have PICTURES OF THEM IN SKIMPY OUTFITS! BITCHES I DON'T WANT PEOPLE LIKE THAT FOLLOWING MY ACCOUNT! and if anyone of you wonder I'm a female!

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

My dream

Me and a few other students were walking about the old, frightening, moonlit woods when we got to a ancient, decrepit, creepy, run down, abandoned church.

Our teachers: 1 female and 3 males, walked ahead of us to test the old, withered, stone like door, to see if it would open, it did. Two of the teachers who are both male had to force it open.

The door as it was being opened, opened with an eerie, odd, creepy sound slowly but surely clawing it's way out of the aged stone.

As the door opened all the way, all of us looked in to see rows and rows of pews lining the walls leaving a 3 person gap between them for an aisle that looked as if a bride could fit though.

Above the pews were banners with a symbol of a Christopher's cross in the middle of the hung up drapery, the were also bibles scattered around looking like no one has been to tend to the abandoned structure.

We all walked in, found a pew to sit by ourselves and sat down, I sat up the front of the church. what none of us realised was that the old abandon, broken building was hunted with a ghost, that died walking home from the exact same run down, eerie, ancient structure of a church many years ago.

When we all sat down in the pew we chose, when suddenly and unexpectedly a book apeared out of nowhere upfront of the church and opened itself up.

One of the other students, being the brave one, went up to it and the book started to talk as if it was talking to us or telling us something.

I then realised the book was telling us it's past life as a humble famer, whose kind, caring, generous, honest and loyal nature was taken advantage of by the ones she trusted the most

When she started about telling us about her past life, I was suddenly pushed out of my chair to see a woman wearing all white and she was floating of the ground!?

I looked at her face to see she had: icy blue eyes, dark brown wavy hair and her big red lips formed a smile at me, I took a closer look at her mouth to see fangs coming down from the place our k9s are.

I was scared out of my life to actually see a real ghost, standing right infront of me and looking me directly in the eyes!

she looked at me and turned around, she started to walk the front of the church and before she took another step, she turned back around and said...

"I promise to take care of Lottie for you, like you did when she was alive" she said before disappearing right before my eyes.

 I heard behind me "Madison are you ok?"

I looked back to see that the female teacher asked me that, I couldn't talk so I just nodded.

When we were about to leave the church, I felt eyes on me so I turned around to see the lady again, waving at me, I waved back but when I got out of the church I woke up.

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

Search your zodiac sign in the gifs, and find one that relates most to you.

Here’s mine

[brokenheartedbutbeautiful]

The Faithful Fallen Soldier

Hi! I'm Madison and this is the story of how I came to know of one of my soulmates Sargent James Barnes.

I was only 5 or 6, when I was walking about my floor in the Avengers tower, I all of a sudden hear a noise from the floor below mine.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y open my secret passage way down to Steve's floor!" I tell her

"Right away Ms. Romanoff/Banner" F.R.I.D.A.Y replied

As soon as the door to the slide is open, I immediately go down it to the hatch opposite the door to Steve's bedroom.

As soon as I get there Wanda comes running from the left of me, followed by Vision, Tony, Mum, Dad, uncle Clint, Pietro, Sam and Rhodey.

"Everyone go back to bed I'm gonna handle this" I tell them but they don't listen.

'Fine' I think, I rushed into Steve's room to see him trembling, tossing and turning in his bed with sweat dripping down him.

When I managed to get close to Steve, I hear him mutter something that sounded like a name.

I have Wanda use her telekinesis to move Steve down the bed a bit, I go behind on the bed and put my fingers on his temples, instantly I'm sucked into his nightmare.

When I go into the dreamland, I look around to see pure snowy white mountains. I continue to look around only to see a train with two men on it.

One of the men was Steve?! He was reaching out to the other man that was hanging on for dear life onto a metal bar, that looks as if it was about to give way,

The man that was hanging had slicked back brown hair... And a howling commando's uniform on? I float closer to the man, he was bearly hanging onto the pole, that was nearly almost completely off the train.

I take a closer look to see hanging man had the most beautifulest ocean blue eyes, that I feel like I could get lost in them.

I get back to paying attention to the things going on around me. As Steve was about to grab the mans hand, the metal bar eventually, unfortunately and drastically gave way.

As it did the man fell off with it, screaming as he plummeted down in to the iced over lake in the casum below, his scream now forever implanted itself into my brain.

As the man fell, Steve screamed out a name "BUCKY!", as soon as he screamed out that I was all of a suddenly kicked out of his mind.

I open my eyes to see everyone looking at me, I felt my eyes getting wet, I didn't realise I was crying.

Steve (who was sitting up now) turned around and gave me a hug, while trying to calm me down.

"Steve, who was that man?" I asked him because I was curious

"That was Bucky an old and very dear friend of mine." He replied sombrely "Why do you want to know?" He asked

"I think... I think he might..." I tried to say

Steve looked at me with trust in his eyes.

"I think... He might have... Been a.. Soulmate of... Mine..." I stammered

I looked up to see everyone curious about what I had said, before they could question me, I ran out of the room and back up to my floor.

I took the steps two at a time, I didn't stop until I was in my own personal training room/gym.

"Bucky's gone... He's dead... One of my soulmates is dead... But why does it feel like he's alive?... Just somewhere... Waiting to be found" I thought to myself.

Not knowing, I was saying it out loud and a strange, mysterious man was behind me, just with a 5o'clock shadow, wearing a mask that covers his lower face, with longer hair that goes down to his chin and with a sliver, metal left arm that has a red star on the shoulder.

That strange, mysterious, misunderstood man was no more then Sargent James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, the Winter Soldier himself. My soulmate that I thought had died, before I could ever meet him.

Bucky wasn't there to see Steve, he hasn't there at all. He was hidden in the back of his mind, a emotionless, mute, hard, stone like soldier was in control.

The statue like figure that was in his place, goes by the name of the "Winter Soldier" and he was there to watch me. He was only there to see if I was the one.

To see if I was the one H.Y.D.R.A wanted as his bride, there was a minor set back. I was too young to become a Winter Soldier's Bride, so H.Y.D.R.A waited.

They waited until I was only 17, when they saw me run away from home. They saw this as a golden opportunity, so they took it.

I ran for so long. I then realised I was running on four legs, not two. I then knew I was a shape sifter.

I thought my family would shun me for being a monster, but I didn't know about the Hulket inside my head at the time. I was just like my father Bruce, we both had a jolly green giant side to us.

I wasn't the greatest when it came to my anger. That's when the H.Y.D.R.A agents found me, they tried to get me to come with them peacefully, but I knew who they were from uncle Steve's adventures that he told me about.

So I fought them, they angered me to the point the Hulket made an appearance. The Hulket fought and fought but she ended up tiring herself out. To the point H.Y.D.R.A managed to shoot a tranculizer dart into her neck, making her fall asleep.

They dragged the Hulket's beaten and bruised body back to their base. By the time they got back I transformed back into myself and went through the same thing H.Y.D.R.A made Bucky go through.

They even gave me trigger words but since I didn't know Russian, they gave me Italian trigger words.

Solitaire meaning lonely.

Quinze meaning fifteen.

Neige meaning snow.

Orage meaning storm.

Seize meaning sixteen.

Méfait meaning mischief.

Guerre meaning war.

Dix-sept meaning seventeen.

Musique meaning music.

Hiver meaning winter.

I had my right arm blown off by a bomb, H.Y.D.R.A planted in a fake mission they sent me on. They gave me an exact replica of their other asset, The Winter Soldier aka Sargent James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes's vibranium arm (I wear long sleeves and gloves to hide it, even on missions).

Completed with the red star and purple heart in the middle with "W S B" written on it meaning "Winter Soldier's Bride".

They call me that because they had me and Bucky marry. That was when I was 20, I'm now 26. That's the story on how I came to know about one of my soulmates and also how I became the Winter Soldier's Bride.