#I've seen it happen it's not pretty and it's not funny
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seeing some of this egg discourse it's like. I think some of you have rancid friends and/or have whacked out perceptions of how interactions with other people go and what they Mean
#a lot of this is strawmanning a lot of it's trans people talking past each other in both directions#don't make me tap the sign#be aware of what could hurt your friends but don't deny them knowledge if it wouldn't yknow? the usual shit#the girl ranting about how her mom never respects her might be in a better place to hear that her parent is abusive than a girl who#expresses how scared she is of her mother ykwim?#you can't give the latter resources on how to go no contact and expect it to go well#I'm NOT saying being trans/not having cracked your egg is analogous to abuse#I'm saying you gotta navigate situations differently based on what the person is ready for#and a lot of the time people ARE ready to hear that nudge of 'hey I did that before realizing I was a trans woman'#but you gotta respect the times when saying that would make them freak out and go 'nOPE IM JUST A FUNKY GUY NO GENDER HERE PLEASE DO NOT#IMPLY ANYTHING ABOUT MY GENDER I AM TOTALLY A GUY'#I've seen it happen it's not pretty and it's not funny#but acting like the latter group doesn't exist is. not great#how are you supposed to hold a safe space for that person if they don't Feel Safe about it?#not everyone has an easy eye-opening experience but that doesn't mean you gotta reach over and yank their eyelids apart#but that doesn't mean other people wouldn't benefit from you doing that. Fuckin depends innit#as I always say. nuance in all things
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i love the wheel of time because everyone they come across gives their sincere condolences about manetheren and they have no fucking clue what they’re talking about
#i remember this happening book and show and it's always funny#loial in the book telling rand all about how sorry he is for the plight of his people after he finds out that rand's from two rivers#and rands like sure. whatever.#in the show they literally sing a song about remembering manetheren#and when moiraine comments on it mat's like 'it's just a song'#anyways i've only read book one and seen season one#but this is pretty much the thing that i remember the most#the wheel of time#the eye of the world#the wheel of time show#file this under things that are incomprehensible to anybody but me
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the international consensus that isaboe must be besotted with finnikin is so funny. they do not like that man
#belegonian diplomat voice well the dick must be insane. no other explanation makes sense i've seen his personality i've seen his negotiation#skills. only thing i haven't seen is his [redacted]#when garg says he's never taken isaboe or finn for fools. ooh i know he's reconsidering that by the end of book 3#sorry i think ive made this post before but i didn't word it properly then. & i haven't now if i'm being honest. oh well!#like i guess it's meant to be more sort of neutral-to-positive but finnikin is frankly unimpressive in most of his outings. and his prep fo#them should have him benched in perpetuity. but he isn't. so i think it's funny if everyone's looked at this & their clear love for each#other and gone 'ah. i see what's happened here' bc isaboe herself is decent & i think august was pretty good (fuck knows with topher tbh)#so to everyone else it's like they're just kneecapping themselves for no reason. unless
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There's a photo of me at age 11 tied to a tree with a jumprope and wearing a Green Bay Packers helmet while a white-tailed deer is standing literally within a few feet of me and looking directly into the camera ft. green eyeshine.
The photo only exists on the hard drive of a dead old computer and I want to see it again so badly but it might be irretrievable and it breaks my heart...
#I remember the photo VIVIDLY it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.#I remember the actual incident pretty vividly too. I was making a 'movie' with my little brother that involved me being tied to#a tree in a football helmet (don't remember why) and he went inside to get more props. Was just sitting there and I heard the deer#coming up on me. It had to have smelled me but I don't think it knew where I was so it was proceeding very slowly and cautiously#so got almost within touching distance. My dad saw this happening and took the photo and then the deer bolted.#I've had so many funny encounters with whitetails I love them.
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from appletv's instagram story
#heh. they don't even know about callum turner's secret instagram account#(in complete fairness tho it's private and it's pretty funny slash weird that i even know the damn thing exists)#also- obsessed with how they're highlighting all these 6 main guys like they're the Hottest shit#while knowing Damn Well nate mann doesn't have Any social media!!#all the behind the scenes pics and videos i combed through and Anything rosie rosenthal has literally been within the last few months!#oh how i Struggled! the Pain!!#also follow them or not. do what you want. all i can say is that in My experience-#austin butler posts less than nothing about MotA. ig his account is 'too professional' (all of 5 posts rn) but Give It A Rest my guy!#the most i've ever seen of MotA barry has been Exclusively through cary fukunaga's videos from 2021. zilch since then so idk#anthony is a very light Sometimes. like it Might happen. if anything he leaves a Bunch of funny comments on the posts of other guys lol#now Mr. Rafferty Law?? undying respect. go forth and follow him. he's posted So Much MotA shit for Years- esp in stories. so real for that!#masters of the air#hbo war
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Okay, I am beyond desperate, can somebody please tell me where I can watch Love Birds (2011) if I don't have Apple TV or Amazon Prime?
I want ro watch it for.....reasons....
#the reason may or may not happen to be rhys darby#i mean#it's the only reason really#but i've seen so many amazing gifs on here of this movie and it seems like a funny and cute movie#(also rhys looks pretty cute and handsome)#(okay he always looks very cute and pretty let's be honest)#i may have an obsession#please help#love birds#rhys darby
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#i love this video#ANYWAY#it's taken me like 3ish weeks to write this stupid fucking scene i'm so near the end i'll legit do a cartwheel#but so much unfolds in it so that's why i refuse to rush ;_;#by far the longest scene i've ever written gawd dawn#u think it's easier breaking it up into parts and then u have to write those parts and ur like Oh.#also i lied the biggest lie i've ever lied#it definitely won't b 80k ERHJWIUF more like ***k +#so um... we're dealing with that! take that as u must lolz#currently at 75k which is cray but i've outlined everything else that needs to happen so i'm sure i can pull thry#thru*#anyway i started summer scewl last week so i'll be dedicating time to that#I FINALLY GOT INTO WITCHCRAFT! FUCK U FIRST YEARS!! IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE! the prof is so funny#also watched the entirety of the bear yesterday it was pretty darn good!! but don't have hulu so can't watch s2 yet :/#have to wait for disney+#i've seen a lot of mixed opinions on the attractiveness for jeremy allen white tbh i think he's fine#nice nose#but why do they make his eyes so piercingly blue in the show erhwufek miley cyrus moment#t: choco's nonsense
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Reckless don't mean a thing If you ain't kinda hopeless As she told me not to waste Another moment No point resisting Giving up control Hot Mess
#grimm#nick burkhardt#monroe grimm#monroe/nick burkhardt#mine: edit#almost the full song!#that's dedication people#there's scenes from the entire first season in here#i'm very proud of myself#they make it so easy#best dynamics i've seen in a while#they're so funny together and WILDLY bisexual#my favorite thing is how i could easily make a ten minute compilation of monroe rolling his eyes at the SMELL of nick on his door#nick being pretty for no reason [remix]#there's a lot of nick smiling because of monroe#i LOVE that shit#please make him happy his life sucks so much ass#my fanfic writer mind going straight to nick saying things like 'being a grimm isn't what i wanted but it gave me you'#if this happens in the next seasons i'm gonna CRY#btw the song is perfect for them#nick is a hot mess and monroe has zero idea where his life is going but goddamn it he'll fight for whatever this is#can you tell 'possessive monroe' is my favorite AO3 tag#nickroe
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an unexpected closing to the year was a boy meets world special interest hitting me with a steel chair
#i watched some video essays on sitcoms#including many i havent seen#because its something to listen to while i do housework#and my brain latched onto eric matthews#which by all rights should have happened sooner#because like. thats the dude who voiced ron stoppable. how did this not already happen to me when i was a teenager#so this was a like a germ waiting dormant in me#anyways i havent watched this show. didnt grow up watching it. have no nostalgia for it#but based on what i've seen? seems pretty neat#them kids are pretty damn funny and sad#also shawn is such a sweet boy. adorable#anyways yeah ive been browsing this show via youtube#rather than. actually watching it. who has the time#and this show has made me burst out with unexpected laughter several times#and that shit with eric and tommy? broke my heart
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looking through my bird pics and there's a couple of this crow i remember seeing earlier this year, and i really do wonder if it's a hooded x carrion crow. it's dark on the back but definitely has lighter colour on the undersise. unfortunately wasn't able to get a better angle on it
#contact call#doesn't look like a normal hoodie anyways#carrions are pretty scarce here. i've only ever seen them when i went to england#if any corvid experts happen to see this...please look at my funny crow
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Idk what's up with that but every time I get a dental surgery I wanna dress in gothic / kuro lolita
Like idk what is it but just had a gum transplant of all things and I'm in pain BUT I WANNA WEAR SUM EGL SO BADDDD
This picture was in fact taken during my bone transplant recovery period last year. I made so many JSKs and headpieces at that time, it's not even funny
I still have to do my hair but.
Guys I'm feeling a bit emotional
Concrit is fine! I always loved this fashion and want to get better.
#egl#mine#maybe it's bcuz i have more time to listen to malice mizer n mdm#and i'm stuck in sweats with a constant blood aftertaste. pretty goth until it makes you dizzy bcuz body is afraid of iron poisoning#also yes i am the queen of transplants that happened somewhere in the skull#I've seen the inside of my skull in fact. I the reflection in my surgeon's funny surgery glasses#*in
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No one knows who writes the Hawkins High Tattler. It comes out every week, without fail, has for almost two decades. Everyone reads it, even teachers, even parents. It's caused more the one suspension, grounding, and even--famously--a shipping off to boarding school.
Steve's never let the Tattler get to him much. He's in it, of course, practically a new story every week. But it's just silly gossip.
Of course, Steve is also, currently, the titular Tattler, so. It's not like he's surprised when his name shows up.
It's his third year, his last year, and he knows everything that ever goes on at Hawkins High. It's pretty easy, honestly. Everyone thinks he's ditzy and vapid; nothing more than hairspray and polos. People will say anything around him, assuming he's not listening or not interested, and then bam. It's in next week's Tattler. No one even suspects him.
The confessions locker probably helps. Down by the theater, busted and unusable, the perfect place for people to leave tips, to tattle on their friends (or enemies, as the case may be).
That's what he's doing right now, checking the confessions locker. After 9:30 on a Friday night, the place silent as the tomb, perfect time for it. Pretty standard fare this week. The only thing of interest is that Eddie Munson was the person who broke all Ms. Click's pencils and left the stubs on her desk. This one, he laughs at, can't wait to publish it; can't wait to talk to Munson about it.
He gets a lot of stuff about Eddie. Most of it he doesn't publish because it's bullshit about satanic rituals--the nerdy kids he babysits play dnd, and there's no way Karen Wheeler is letting anything satanic happen in her basement--or about his sexuality, and one thing Steve doesn't do is out people.
Gathering up this week's submissions, he closes the locker with a soft clink, and he swears, swears he hears the squeak of a tennis shoe on the polished tile of the floor. He freezes, heart in his throat. Nobody has been here this late before.
Seconds pass but there's only silence. Confident he's only hearing things, he heads out, the parking lot just as empty as when he arrived.
---
He sees Eddie a few days later, when he's picking up the kids from the arcade. They typically exchange casual greetings, but as Steve waits, Eddie stands with him, offers him a cigarette.
"Read that was you who messed with Click's pencils. Good one."
Eddie shrugs, gives a little bow and a smile. "Happy to be of service."
"It was my class, when she found them. Never seen her so mad."
"No way," Eddie laughs. "Not even when Hagan drew dicks on all the textbooks?"
"Not even then, man. She was throwing pencil stubs everywhere."
"Fuck, sad I missed it." Eddie takes a drag, Steve's eyes following the movement, lingering on his mouth. Something warm and tingling builds at the base of his spine and he forces his gaze away.
"How long you in detention for?"
"I'm not. Swore it wasn't me, and Click doesn't want to admit she reads the Tattler, so. Not much they could do. "
"I've seen it sitting on her desk!"
"I know! She reads it when she has detention duty!"
They lean against Steve's car, laughing, and Steve feels good. This is good. He likes Eddie. He's funny and dramatic and smart and kind. He's not deserving of any of the mean things that get submitted to the Tattler.
The kids come streaming into the parking lot then, and Eddie stubs out his cigarette, says "see you around, Harrington," and Steve finds himself flushing for reasons he can't quite explain.
---
He starts seeing Eddie around way more. He's in school most days, smoking in the parking lot after the last bell, chatting with Steve in the hallways.
It shows up in the Tattler; big news that the King and the Freak are hanging out. Most of the submissions are about it, increasingly elaborate rumors about their supposedly deep, close friendship.
He wishes he could tell Eddie.
Eventually, Eddie invites him to smoke at the quarry. He doesn't hesitate to say yes, doesn't even bother to try ignoring the swoop in his stomach, the speed of his heart.
They sprawl out in the back of the van, Eddie's loud, raucous music pounding around them, sharing a joint back and forth.
Steve gets hazy, boneless, can't stop watching Eddie, the way his lips purse around the joint, his long hair glinting gold in the weak light of the camping lanterns, the pleased shine of his eyes every time he makes Steve laughs.
He likes Eddie so much. Everything about him, honestly. Butterflies ping in his stomach, happy and slow, and he thinks how nice Eddie's lips are, wonders how soft they must be. And he thinks--he's read the submissions, right--he knows the things they say about Eddie, and he wishes it was true, he wants--he wants--
He wants
---
Steve's running late to check the locker. Lost track of time at the diner with Eddie, and it's making him panic.
He stuffs the submissions haphazardly into the pocket of his hoodie, dancing with nerves, willing himself to grab them all and get out.
Locker emptied, he sprints towards the exit. He has a second to process someone barreling towards him in the dark, but he's going too fast to stop, can only brace himself as they collide.
It sends him sliding across the floor, Tattler submissions spilling out of his pocket like snow. He hits the ground, scrabbling for the papers, praying that whoever is here with him can't see them in the low light.
Hands grips his biceps. "Stevie, Steve, we have to get out of here" and there's a second where he's comforted by the familiar rasp of Eddie's voice before terror spikes again.
He pulls himself from Eddie's grasp, searching for any dropped submissions in easy reach. "Wha--why--what's--"
"I ran into Jason Carver and his band of idiots at the gas station. They're on their way to here to try to catch the Tattler in action."
Steve freezes. "I don't--that's not--I--"
In the deep silence of the empty school, they both hear the slamming of a door, a bitten off giggle. Eddie grabs his wrist and they run. Into the theater room, through a door Steve didn't know existed, to the backstage area of the auditorium.
"You should be safe here," Eddie says.
Panic spirals through him. "I can explain. I was just--I forgot a--I needed--"
"Harrington! I know, okay? I already know."
Steve can only blink at him, swallows rough in his throat. "What--Eddie, I--"
"I saw you. Weeks ago. Forgot my notebook in the theater room after Hellfire and had to run back for it. You were there, at the locker."
"You can't tell anyone."
"I'm not going to."
"No, Munson, you really can't. Nobody can know. Nobody--"
"Swe--Stevie, I promise. The secret's safe with me." He rocks back on his heels, chewing on his lip for a second before he continues. " I--I couldn't figure you out, you know? I saw you around with those kids and it didn't make any sense. King Steve, babysitting tiny nerds? But I saw you at the locker and..."
"You're giving me too much credit, man."
"I don't think so. You're never--fuck, Harrington--you're never mean. At least, not in the last couple years. You spread gossip, but you don't punch down, and you're funny as hell. Mean as shit too, but only to the people who deserve it."
His ears burn and he looks down. "Just because I have fucking--fucking editorial standards doesn't mean that I'm anything special."
Eddie scoffs. "Remember, Stevie, I was reading it a year before you were here. Cruel, vapid garbage. Always the most vile, pointless stories about people who couldn't defend themselves. And how many submissions have you gotten about me, for instance, that you've never used?"
Steve clenches his fists. "I would never--"
"I know. Sweetheart, I know. That's why I li--You're so fucking good, Stevie."
He laughs, ears burning. "I'm really not, Eddie. I try to write about fun gossip that can't hurt anyone too much, and nobody's found me out because they think I'm too dumb--"
Eddie reaches out then, fingers connecting softly with the edge of Steve's jaw. He can't help but lean into the touch, eyes flickering closed.
"You don't want to hurt people because you're fucking kind. You know how I know for sure? You must get submissions every week about me, and you've never once printed that I'm--" Eddie stops then, swallowing hard.
Steve's throat goes tight. He rests his hand over Eddie's, still holding his face. "Me too," he whispers. "Kind of. I like--it's both. For me."
"Oh," Eddie breathes, mouth lifting in a bright, beautiful smile that Steve can't help but return.
He's watching, sees when Eddie's gaze drifts his lips, making his breath hitch. He doesn't really think about closing the distance between them, slotting their mouths together in a tentative, gentle kiss.
"You're just full of surprises aren't you, Steve Harrington? Eddie asks when they part.
Steve blushes. "That's sort of the last of them."
"Sure. Next you'll be telling me you've played dnd."
"I have a character."
"What???"
"Human paladin. Dustin worked on it with me. Ready to get out of here?"
"Human paladin," Eddie gapes. "You know--you said--what's happening?"
Steve twines their fingers together, leading Eddie towards the auditorium exit. "Well, first we're going to walk out to my car and then we're going to my house, and we're going to look through Tattler submissions. Maybe makeout a little bit."
Eddie giggles. "What the fuck? Like. What the fuck, sweetheart?"
He turns to face Eddie, smile big and pure and bright with happiness. "If you're really nice to me, I'll let you help write this week's issue."
"Oh, oh. You're going to wreck me." Eddie mumbles, almost to himself.
"If you're lucky." Steve beams.
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#fluff#friends to lovers#secret identity#gossip column#first kiss#getting together#steve harrington writes a gossip column#steve harrington is lady whistledown#eddie discovers steve's secret identity#they makeout about it#obviously erica becomes the tattler when she gets to high school. obviously
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The Hardest Question Ever ASSked
Le Sserafim Chaewon, Kazuha and Yunjin x male reader smut
Is this the worst writing I've ever produced? Yep. Do I care? No. At least I warned you.
Masterlist word count: 5,851 Kofi(donations/commissions)
"So, which one of these two do you think has the best ass?"
Yunjin has this penchant for asking the most inappropriate questions at the most random of times. The conversation was in a whole different place; Chaewon was explaining why the second Harry Potter film is by far the best one when suddenly...
"Oh my god," Kazuha immediately covers her eyes, sinking her head into her hands.
"What?" Yunjin blinks with innocence.
Chaewon can only groan in response. She sometimes wonders what goes on inside the minds of her group members, especially after that time Yunjin casually asked to compare their favourite toys (and now she is struggling to get the mental image of Yunjin slipping in a butt plug each morning out of her head. Apparently she has a whole range of sizes) but still, it feels like their constant effort to test how far they can go with each other has no end in sight.
"We all have pretty nice butts," Chaewon adds, the need to fill the awkward silence quickly becoming dire.
"Boring answer," Yunjin turns up her nose and pouts. Then her eyes fall on you. "Come on, you spend more than enough time staring, which is it?" she teases.
And look, you have thoughts, of course you do, but you're too coy to spill them out into the open for these three to scrutinize. So you joke, "We all know it's me." Only Kazuha laughs—that girl laughs at your every word.
Yunjin narrows her eyes, her attention like a hungry lion's before its prey. She asks in a challenging tone, "Why are you avoiding the question?"
You have learned very quickly that a game you can never win is against Yunjin, that woman is relentless with her prodding, so you change strategies. "What does it matter who has the nicest ass? Asses are so subjective."
"Stop being so political."
Chaewon senses blood in the water and joins in on pushing you for an answer, "Okay, so, subjectively, which one do you like the most?"
You slump back into your chair as the three girls sit forward expectantly. Yunjin is directly across from you, wrapping her lips around the straw for her coffee as she stares through you, practically daring you to bullshit her with a non-answer. Chaewon is wide-eyed on your right, and Kazuha still has her hand nervously over her mouth.
You have an answer, you know which one you like the most. But you also know that as soon as you say it, the other might kill you.
So, you pick the one that will give the best reaction. See, Chaewon is competitive, right down to the bone. Meaning that when you answer, "Kazuha," she looks about ready to burst a blood vessel.
"What!" she spits, the other two girls bursting into laughter. "I'm the one with the best ass!"
Kazuha has this whole smug look going on, it's not one she uses often, but to tease Chaewon? You don't blame her.
"Oh yeah, you think that's funny? I'll show you whose ass is the best," Chaewon threatens.
"It must be all the squats," Yunjin chimes in.
"Shut up," Chaewon growls at her.
Kazuha leans back in her chair and shrugs, "No need to be jealous. Yours is great too, Chaewon. You work really hard, and it shows."
"Don't try to suck up now, Kazuha."
You watch the whole exchange in silence. This is what happens almost every time Yunjin calls you over to have lunch, and it is always an entertaining time.
"Alright, so what about thighs? Which ones are the best?" Yunjin continues.
"Kazuha," you answer, and Kazuha is practically glowing, "I mean, have you seen how toned her thighs are?"
You turn to Chaewon, a smirk on your face so evil, "Sorry, Chae."
"Alright! That's it!" Chaewon shouts, jumping up from her chair, her eyes burning with determination. Her hands are at the waist of her jeans, popping open the button. "If you won't admit mine are the best, I'll have to prove it to you."
Yunjin sighs, her hand on her chin, and she shakes her head. "Here we go again."
You can feel yourself blush a bit, the way you always do when this happens, even though the four of you have had these lunches dozens of times, and Chaewon has always tried to show off her body at some point. She wiggles her jeans off her hips, sliding them down to reveal her black, lacy thong.
"Well?" she poses, turning to the side to show off her ass, "What about now?"
You are certain the three of you are all thinking the same thing—her body is unbelievable—but nobody is going to stroke her ego like that.
"Oh yeah, definitely Kazuha's," you shrug, trying not to let your gaze linger.
"What?!"
It draws a loud laugh from Yunjin, who's hitting the palm of her hand against her thigh as she wheezes. Kazuha, who is usually the shy one of the bunch, can't help but join in on the laughter.
"Fuck you," Chaewon snaps at you, "And fuck you too!" She turns on her heel and points at Kazuha.
Kazuha is still laughing, and she has her head turned away from Chaewon, but you can see her smile grow wider. She's teasing, "Oh come on, Chaewon, it's okay. You look cute."
"I'll show you cute," Chaewon growls, her hand coming down hard on the table. It makes the cutlery rattle, and the three of you glance between yourselves before a shared giggle bubbles up again.
You look up at Chaewon, who has a scowl on her face. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and her jaw is tense. She has one hand on her hip, her fingers digging into her skin, and the other is gripping the table so hard that her knuckles have gone white. Her body is stiff, the only movement being the rise and fall of her chest. Her face is flushed, either with embarrassment or frustration or both, and her lips are parted, letting her breaths pass through.
Her skin is smooth and soft, and when she moves, you can see the muscles ripple under it. She's so lean, so slender, but there's an undeniable strength behind her.
"What, got something to say?" Chaewon bites, noticing your stare.
"Uh," you fumble, your eyes flitting down her body before shooting up to her face again. "Just, um," you clear your throat, trying to shake yourself out of this trance, "Are you gonna leave your jeans off?"
"Until you realise how wrong you are, yes."
"Okay," you chuckle, then return to sipping on your drink.
"So, are we going to go through the rest of the list? Boobs? Which one's the best?" Yunjin can barely speak for her stifled laughter.
Chaewon huffs, then folds her arms across her chest. She pushes her tits together, the low-cut t-shirt working wonders to showcase her cleavage. "Mine," she states proudly.
"Kazuha."
"I can't with you two," Chaewon whines. "What the fuck?"
"You can't win against me," Kazuha says simply.
Chaewon's glare switches between the three of you. She looks like a wild animal ready to pounce. A dangerous, sexy, wild animal.
"You're all fucking useless," she mutters under her breath, turning on her heel. "I'll be right back."
You watch as she stomps off in her underwear and boots, leaving the three of you alone.
"That was fun," Yunjin smirks, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. She looks at you and says, "You've got a mean streak. I love it."
"I just like riling her up," you smirk.
"I noticed."
Kazuha giggles, then takes another sip from her cup. You can't help but watch her. Her dark hair is tied up in a messy bun, and even without makeup, she is beautiful. There is a softness to her, an air of innocence, that you can't quite place.
"What are you looking at?" Kazuha asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing," you shrug.
"I see the way you look at her," Yunjin says with a wink. "Got you thinking about something, huh?"
"Yeah," you say, not knowing how else to respond.
"I bet it's filthy," Yunjin continues. "How long has it been since you two hooked up, again?"
"Too long," Kazuha answers.
"Oh yeah," Yunjin smiles. "Guess I've been a little greedy recently."
"Just a little," Kazuha giggles, her cheeks dusted with red.
"Stop being so shy and ask him then," Yunjin nods in your direction.
"I'm back!" Chaewon announces, turning heads.
"What the fuck are you wearing?" Yunjin asks.
It's nothing but skimpy lingerie. It's black and lacy, hugging her curves perfectly, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Her thong cuts deep between her ass cheeks, and the bra pushes her tits up, not that much is needed. The fabric is sheer, and you can see the dark peaks of her nipples through it.
She's leaning on the doorway as she speaks, "I wasn't going to half-ass it, was I?" Oh, Chaewon, even as you stand there, looking like a whole meal, you still can't resist a good pun. "So," she continues, sauntering over and leaning down, placing her hands on the table and getting in your face. "Have you come to your senses yet?"
You glance away, to look across the table at Yunjin, who's got her eyes fixed on Chaewon's ass and is telling her, "Yeah, no doubt I'm definitely kinda gay. Your butt looks amazing."
"Need more convincing?" Chaewon is looking down her nose at you, a devilish grin spreading across her face.
"More convincing," you repeat.
Chaewon steps between you and the table, pushing the arms of your chair and struggling to move it back.
"W-what are you doing?"
"Convincing." Chaewon turns to the table, puts her chest flat against it and arches her back, giving you the most brazen display. "Is it working?"
"It's..."
"Working," Yunjin finishes for you as she stands up to admire the view.
You take a moment to appreciate her, the way she's bent over the table, the way her ass looks so round and perfect. The way her thighs are toned and muscular, and the way they press together, gives her just a little more shape. You want to touch her, to reach out and run your hands along her smooth skin.
"I'd let her sit on my face," Yunjin whispers as if she could read your mind.
"Oh yeah, for sure," Kazuha adds.
"Would you two shut up? I'm trying to get my point across."
"Don't let us stop you."
Chaewon lets out an irritated sigh, then gets up and sits herself down in your lap. Her hips roll forward, and you can feel her warmth. You can't help yourself, you slip a hand around her waist and rest it on her stomach.
"Do you like this?" Chaewon asks, her voice low and seductive. She leans back, letting her head rest against your shoulder, her breath hot on your ear. "How about this?" She shifts her hips, grinding her ass against your crotch. You bite back a moan, your fingers digging into her flesh.
"You know," Yunjin says, watching as Chaewon continues to rub her ass against you, "We could have a lot more fun with this."
"What do you mean?" Kazuha asks, a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"Well," Yunjin's eyes flick over to meet yours. "If you're not gonna fight for your spot, our friend here might change his mind. How about a competition?"
"Competition?" Chaewon repeats.
"I'm talking a showdown," Yunjin explains, a wide grin on her face. Chaewon is staring blankly at her, and Yunjin rolls her eyes. "Ass vs ass. Who's got the better booty?"
"I'm in," Chaewon immediately agrees.
"What?" Kazuha squeaks.
"Oh, come on. You're not going to back down, are you?"
"No, I'm not," Kazuha states, standing up.
"You don't have to do this," you tell them.
"Shut up," Chaewon shoots back, a smirk on her face.
"Let's settle this once and for all," Yunjin declares. She pulls the table away, leaving you in the middle of the dining room with Chaewon on your knee. She pulls Kazuha to her feet and stands in front of her. Their eyes are locked on each other, both looking nervous. You can't take your eyes off them, especially when Yunjin slides her hands down Kazuha's abs. "First, let's catch you up, get you out of these clothes.
Yunjin hooks her fingers into the waistband of Kazuha's jeans and starts to pull them down, revealing the soft, creamy skin of her thighs. Kazuha lifts her feet out of her shoes and pants, leaving her standing in a pair of white panties.
"Damn, girl, you look good," Yunjin purrs, running her hands along Kazuha's thighs, squeezing the soft flesh.
Meanwhile, Chaewon turns her attention to you, first by pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it aside, then moving on to undoing the buttons on your pants. You're already achingly hard, from having her ass grinding against you, her hands on you, and her scent filling your nostrils. She stands up and steps back, allowing you to stand and drop your pants, then step out of them, leaving you only in your boxers.
"Looks like someone is ready," she teases, looking at the bulge.
You blush, embarrassed, but you can't help the way your cock twitches at her words.
"Alright," Yunjin calls.
The two girls are standing side by side now. Yunjin has sat you down and is standing behind you, her hands on your shoulders, her breath hot on the back of your neck. She's looking between the two girls, taking in their bodies, her eyes filled with lust. Kazuha is biting her lip, her hands clasped together in front of her, her body stiff.
"First, let's see who can move their ass better. Show off what you've got," Yunjin commands.
Chaewon is the first to act, bending over and shaking her hips. Her ass is swaying from side to side, her hips moving in circles, and her ass jiggling with every motion. Her back is arched, her legs straight, and her thighs pressed together, giving her ass the perfect shape.
"Nice," Yunjin whistles.
Kazuha takes a deep breath. She turns to show you her ass, putting her arms above her head and swaying her hips. She doesn't have the same confidence as Chaewon, but her ass still looks great.
"Fuck yeah," Yunjin says, her hand trailing down your chest and stomach.
"You think that's good?" Chaewon huffs. "Watch this."
She backs up towards you, stopping when her ass is almost touching your crotch, and leans back, arching her back. Her ass is pushed out, the curves and lines of her body on display. She places her hands on her ass cheeks and then starts to squeeze and knead her flesh, moaning softly as she does so.
"Fuck, that's hot," Yunjin breathes.
"Don't stop," you gasp.
Kazuha has renewed fight, stepping and dropping her ass against your lap. It's all in the hips, the way she moves, and how her body rolls. It's different from Chaewon, there's a grace to it and a fluidity. She turns, looking back at you, her eyes full of fire, her lips curled into a sly smile. You know that look. It's like a switch is flicked inside her.
"Fuck," you groan, reaching out to grab her, to pull her closer.
Kazuha leans forward, her back arched, and you draw her thick ass towards your cock. Soon enough, Chaewon follows, and you become the filling of an ass sandwich.
"Oh fuck, that looks good," Yunjin says, her hand sliding beneath your waistband and grabbing your cock. She starts to stroke it, slow and steady, teasing the tip with her thumb. But, as their assets draw closer, Yunjin is forced to relinquish, the girls taking hold of your cock between their asses, and rubbing their cheeks against you.
"Ahh, fuck, that's so fucking hot," you moan.
"Yeah, baby, you like that?" Yunjin purrs in your ear.
"God yes," you breathe, your head falling back against her chest.
Chaewon laughs, a smug sound, "He's definitely loving mine."
"In your dreams," Kazuha hisses.
"What was that?"
"I said," Kazuha pushes her ass, to slide your length between her cheeks, rubbing along the fabric of her thong, "He likes my ass more."
"I don't think so," Chaewon shoots back, fighting for position. The girls are ass to ass, cheeks squishing against each other. Your cock is caught between them, and they both start to rock their hips, the friction making you hiss.
"You're both driving me crazy," you moan.
"Yeah?" Chaewon smirks.
"How about this," Kazuha adds, her hips moving faster, and her ass squeezing tighter. It's all matched and challenged by Chaewon, who's moving her hips, and rocking her ass, and doing everything she can to keep up.
This whole thing is fucking ludicrous, don't get it twisted. This is the most insane thing you have ever seen, or done. Two gorgeous women, two insanely sexy asses, both fighting for a chance to prove that theirs is the best. And you're right there, between them, your cock assaulted by the most amazing sensation.
"How are we going to settle this?" Chaewon growls, her ass grinding hard against your cock.
"I'm not stopping until he cums," Kazuha shoots back, her ass moving even faster.
"Me either," Chaewon huffs.
"Wait, wait, stop," you gasp, to no avail. The girls just keep on grinding, keep on rocking, keep on fighting.
"Shh," Yunjin purrs, her hands roaming your chest, and her lips ghosting across the back of your neck. "Let them have their fun."
You moan, your body tense, your cock throbbing between their asses. The girls are panting, their breath heavy, and their bodies slick with sweat. Their skin is hot, their bodies flushed, and their hearts pounding.
"He's getting close," Chaewon smirks, "I can feel it."
"For me," Kazuha insists.
"I'm doing all the work," Chaewon snaps back, her hips rolling faster, and her ass pressing harder.
"Stop, fuck," you hiss, feeling your cock throb, feeling that familiar sensation rising in the pit of your stomach.
"Tell me it's for me. Cum for me, baby."
"No, for me. He's cumming for me," Kazuha shoots back.
And then, it hits. It's an explosion, your body jerking, your muscles spasming. Your head is thrown back, a groan ripped from your throat, and your hips bucking wildly.
"That's it," Chaewon smirks, looking over her shoulder. "I did it. He's cumming because of me."
"No, me," Kazuha pouts, turning her head.
You spill over them, thick, hot cum spraying all over their asses and backs, leaving sticky ropes of white across their smooth, flawless skin.
"F-fuck," you gasp, trying to catch your breath.
"Holy shit," Yunjin murmurs, "That was... fuck.
"It's mine," Chaewon says, her tone cocky and arrogant.
"No, it's mine," Kazuha growls.
The two of them continue their argument, but you can barely hear them. Your body is still recovering, your mind reeling, and your heart racing. What a fucking rush.
"Who's got the best ass? Well," Yunjin chuckles, "It's a tie if you ask me."
"A tie?" Chaewon repeats.
"Yeah, a tie."
"Well, I'm not calling it a tie," Kazuha says.
"Me either," Chaewon huffs, standing upright and glaring at the other woman.
"You're both pretty great," Yunjin states, her hand on your shoulder.
"Kazuha is great, me? I'm perfect."
"Okay," Yunjin sighs. "There's still something he needs to test. You can't decide on the best ass without fucking them both."
"What?" Chaewon and Kazuha gasp at the same time.
"You get five minutes each, then swap. First to make him cum is the winner."
"Deal," Chaewon and Kazuha say simultaneously, their gazes burning into each other.
"Well then," Yunjin says, standing up. "Over the table girls."
You're still fucking out of it. Slumped in the chair while Yunjin guides them over the table, bent at the waist and presenting their asses to you. The girls are draped in your cum, and Yunjin has the task of plucking off their underwear, leaving them bare and naked. Then she comes and pulls you to your feet, positioning you behind Chaewon.
"Cum in whichever feels the best, okay? Wait here a minute." Yunjin runs off to the bedroom, giving Chaewon a chance to bargain with you.
"Come on, you know I've got the better ass. And you know what it can do for you. Just think of all the other times you've fucked my ass. Don't tell me you want Kazuha's ass instead?"
"Uh," you mumble.
"Oh come on," she wiggles her ass, "Look at this."
"Sorry," Yunjin says, reappearing with a bottle in her hand. "Gotta do this right." Yunjin takes a blob of lube in her hand and rubs it onto your cock. It's cold, and it makes you shudder. Then she takes some and rubs it onto Chaewon's ass.
"Fuck," she squeaks, her body trembling.
"Ready?" Yunjin asks.
"Y-yeah."
"Five minutes, go!"
Yunjin pushes you by the hips toward Chaewon, not that you need any encouragement to slip your length between her cheeks.
"That's it, fuck me. Come on, baby. Let's see whose ass feels better."
It's slow to begin, pushing your way into her little asshole. She's still so tight, and even with the added slick, it takes a bit of effort. But she's warm and snug around your cock, and her ass is perfect.
"Fuck, I forgot how big you were," she moans, her voice strained.
"She can't even take it," mocks Kazuha.
"Shut up, I can," Chaewon bites back. "Go on, deeper."
Yunjin has her hand on your hip, guiding you deeper and deeper until you bottom out. Her ass is pressed right against your hips, and she's whimpering. You give her a few moments to adjust before starting to move, pulling out slowly, then pushing back in. You're stretching her out, forcing her to accommodate your length, and her hole is clenching around you.
"Fuck, I love the feeling of your cock," she gasps.
"We all do," Kazuha says flatly.
"Not as much as I do," Chaewon pants.
"Come on, you can fuck her faster," Yunjin whispers in your ear.
So you pick up the pace, your hips moving, and your cock thrusting deep into her. She's moaning and writhing beneath you, her ass shaking with every impact, her body trembling. You can't stop yourself, you're pounding her hard, slamming your cock deep inside her. The cum on her cheeks is smeared, making the sight even more filthy.
"Shit," she groans, her ass bouncing back against your hips.
You're lost in her, fucking her hard and fast, making her take every inch of you. You're grunting, your balls slapping against her skin, and your cock stretching her hole. You're losing control, the sounds of your fucking filling the room.
"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum," she moans.
"You're such a slut," Kazuha hisses.
"Oh fuck," Chaewon cries, her ass clenching around your cock, her body convulsing, and her pussy dripping. "Oh my god, fuck," she screams, her whole body tensing, and her eyes rolling back.
"Holy shit," you gasp, your cock throbbing and twitching.
"Alright, time's up," Yunjin says, grabbing you and pulling you away from her.
"What the fuck, no, don't stop," Chaewon pleads.
"Swap," Yunjin demands, shoving you towards Kazuha.
You stumble forward, your cock aching and throbbing. You're still sensitive, and the sudden change has your head spinning. Yunjin covers you again with more lube and slaps your ass to let you know to begin.
Kazuha's chest is flat on the table, her cheek pressed against the wood, and her hands gripping the edge. She turns to look at you, her eyes full of silent desire. There's an arch to her back, and her ass is perfectly presented, just waiting for you to enter her.
"Take her," Yunjin whispers and her hand pushes down on your hip.
You step forward, the tip of your cock pressing against her asshole. You can see her muscles tensing, and she lets out a soft moan as you push into her. She's even tighter than Chaewon, her body squeezing and gripping your cock. She's not nearly as experienced, her reactions are more innocent.
"Oh," she gasps, her body shivering, "That's... that's really good."
You grab her hips, your fingers digging into her flesh, and you push deeper, feeling her asshole stretch and open up for you. She lets out a sharp cry, and you pause, giving her a moment to relax.
"Keep going," she pleads, her voice thick with lust.
You start to move, sliding out of her and then pushing back in. She's hot and tight around you, and her muscles are contracting, squeezing and clenching, pulling you deeper into her.
"Oh my god, it's so good," she moans.
Her eyes are closed, and her mouth is open, and her body is quivering. You keep going, thrusting harder and deeper, until you're buried in her ass. She lets out a long, low moan, and you can feel her trembling.
"She can barely take it," Chaewon laughs.
"Don't listen to her," Kazuha pleads, looking over her shoulder at you. "Just keep going, please."
You groan a response and start to pound her harder. Sticky flesh slapping together, your hands holding her steady, and her cries filling the room. You're fucking her rough, and she's taking every inch of you. It feels incredible, and the pleasure builds, your cock throbbing and aching.
"Come on, cum for me," she whines.
"Fuck, you're so sexy," you gasp, your hips bucking. Just one slap of her ass and it's marked already, red and pink from the impact.
"You're close," she whimpers.
"Keep going," Yunjin encourages. "Two minutes or they both lose."
Your whole body is trembling, and your head is spinning. Your cock is so hard and aching, and your balls are tight. Your hips are bucking, and you're fucking her with abandon, her ass taking every inch.
"Come on," she begs.
You groan, and then you're there, your whole body shuddering, and your cock pulsing and throbbing, emptying your cum into her ass. As soon as Chaewon sees that look on your face, she knows she's lost. She whines a defeated sound and slumps against the table.
Kazuha is the one smiling though, and as she stands, you notice her knees are a bit weak. "I win," she announces, a little triumphant.
"You cheated," Chaewon pouts.
"How the hell did I cheat?"
"I don't know, you just did." Chaewon's got that little pouty expression stuck to her face, and she swears her revenge. "Next time, I'll beat you. You'll see."
"If you say so," Kazuha smiles, looking at the mess leaking from her ass. You're stumbling back and Yunjin is your support, keeping you steady.
Yunjin is in your ear, "You've still got another round in you, right?"
"I don't know," you pant.
"You, me and the shower. Think about it."
"Yeah," you manage, and then her hand is on your arm, leading you to the bathroom.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Chaewon demands, her hands on her hips.
"Shower," Yunjin calls, dragging you along. "You girls caused this mess, you can clean up. Maybe even lick his cum off each other's asses."
"No, don't leave," Chaewon whines.
But, it's too late, the door is closing, and Yunjin is pushing you up against the wall. "You know," she whispers, her hands on your chest and her body pressed against yours, "I'm kinda turned on."
"Yeah?"
"Watching them fight over you was so hot."
"Yeah, it was," you admit.
"So," she presses her lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, and slipping her tongue into your mouth.
You return her passion, your hands running up her body, and down her back. She breaks the kiss, and looks up at you, a coy smile on her lips.
"Let's have a little fun," she murmurs, reaching behind her and turning on the shower. The water flows, steam fills the air, and Yunjin steps under the stream, letting it cascade over her naked body.
"Fuck," you gasp.
"What's the matter?" she teases, grabbing the bottle of soap and squirting it onto her chest. She lathers up her chest, spreading the foamy liquid over her smooth skin, her nipples hardening as the suds run down her body.
"You're gorgeous," you say, stepping towards her.
She grabs you by the hips, pulling you close, her hands roaming your body. Her skin is slick with soap, her touch gentle and teasing. She's looking up at you, her eyes filled with desire.
"Are you ready?" she whispers, her voice husky.
"Always," you grin, cupping her breasts and kneading them in your hands.
"Fuck," she sighs, leaning into you, her eyes closed, and her body relaxed.
You kiss her, tasting her lips, your tongue sliding against hers. She moans, her hands trailing down your back, and her nails digging into your skin.
"Mmm, so good," she murmurs, breaking the kiss and looking up at you. "All this anal stuff has got me thinking, maybe it's time we tried something new."
"Really?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't think it was ever really your thing? You always said a butt plug was enough."
"I've been practising," she winks.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Maybe it's best if I show you."
"Oh," you grin.
"So," she purrs, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing her body against yours. "You want to see what I can do?"
"Fuck yes," you breathe, a rush of excitement running through your body.
She smiles, biting her lip and pulling away from you. She turns her back to you, facing the wall, and places her hands flat on the tile. She arches her back, and you watch as she spreads her legs and bends further and further over. Her ass is sticking out, her perfect, plump cheeks inviting you in.
You can't help yourself. You kneel behind her, grab her cheeks and spread them wide. She lets out a soft moan, and you press your face into her ass, inhaling her sweet scent.
"Fuck," you groan, kissing her puckered hole.
"Mmm," she moans, pushing her ass back into your face.
"That feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes," she whispers, her breath hitching in her throat.
You tease her with your tongue, licking her asshole, and swirling the tip around the rim. She shivers, and you push a finger into her, probing her, exploring her. She's so tight, and the sounds she's making are driving you wild.
"Please," she begs, her voice a desperate whisper. "Please fuck me."
"Are you sure?" you ask, a hint of surprise in your voice.
"Yes," she says, looking back at you. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I'm finally ready."
"You don't have to, we can just have a regular fuck."
"No," she insists, her eyes blazing. "I want to try it, and I want you to be the one to do it."
"Fuck," you growl, pulling your finger out of her ass and standing up. You press the tip of your cock against her, and she whimpers. A shiver runs through her, and her hands ball into fists. There's this tension in the air, and her breathing is shallow and fast. Utterly shameless, she reaches back and pulls her asscheeks apart, opening herself up for you.
"Come on," she whimpers. "Do it. Put it in."
You press against her, your cock throbbing, and her asshole quivering. You push, and she gasps, her muscles tightening, her body tensing. But she doesn't pull away. You push again, harder, and her asshole starts to give way, stretching and opening for you. She lets out a strangled cry, her ass clenching around your cock, as the first few inches slip into her. You can go no further. No amount of practice could prepare her for this.
"You're so tight," you groan.
"It hurts," she whines, her body trembling.
"Just relax, okay?"
"I can't," she moans, her muscles straining.
"Just breathe," you say, stroking her back and ass.
She takes a deep breath, and then another, and then a third. You can feel her body relaxing, her muscles loosening, her asshole stretching.
"That's it," you encourage, pushing deeper into her. "How's that? Better?"
"Yes," she whispers, her eyes rolling back in her head.
You slowly start to move, thrusting in and out of her ass. She's so tight, her body gripping your cock like a clenched fist. Her moans fill the room, echoing off the tiles.
"Fuck," she hisses, her head hanging low, her shoulders hunched. Yunjin has always been the hold-out. Her anal virginity has eluded you, but not any more. Finally, all the best asses in K-pop are willing to take you. There's nothing better.
"Fuck," she groans, her nails scraping against the tiles. "Harder."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she pants.
You grab her hips and start fucking her harder, it's still tough to get more than half of your length inside her, but what she's taking is driving her crazy.
You hook a hand underneath her, past her toned stomach to play with her pussy. She's soaked, dripping with lust, her clit hard and swollen. You tease her, stroking and rubbing her, and she cries out, her whole body tensing.
"You're gonna make me cum," she gasps, her hips bucking against your hand.
"Not until I say so," you growl. She whimpers, her ass tightening around your cock, her legs trembling. You lean forward, grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanking her head back. "Who am I?" you snarl, fucking her ass harder.
"Ah," she whines, her voice strained. "You're...you're my daddy."
"That's right," you growl, your cock throbbing. "Now cum for me."
You rub her clit, and she cums, her whole body convulsing, and her pussy gushing. It's a powerful orgasm, and she's shaking and crying out, her ass squeezing your cock like crazy. She grows weak, barely able to stand and take it. You pull out, let her fall to her knees, and then take hold of her hair to face you.
She's looking up at you with this expression like she's drunk, or high. A good ass fucking and she is a mess. A happy mess. One that's perfect to be coated in your load.
You stroke yourself, staring down at her, and her eyes widen, her lips parted and waiting. You grunt a shudder runs through you, and your cock erupts. Thick ropes of cum splatter across her face, covering her cheeks, her lips, and her nose. She's whimpering, stroking her tits and moaning out words of pure filth for you. "So much cum for your favourite girl. We both know those two don't stand a chance against me."
She's a mess. She's a hot, filthy mess. You step back, admiring her, a smug satisfaction filling your mind while she licks your cum from around her mouth. "Don't get complacent," you tease.
"Never."
#Le sserafim smut#kpop smut#male reader#Yunjin smut#Chaewon smut#Kazuha smut#lesserafim smut#kpop fanfic#m reader#kpop fanfiction#smut
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Okay so the other day I watched the movie Game of Death (not the Bruce Lee one, this one was bad) and I stumbled upon the fan wiki which is the absolute funniest fan wiki I have ever seen:
the 81 unknown people is in reference to an (actually really good) animated sequence at the beginning of the movie for the opening credits, as opposed to anything that actually happens in the movie. And I guess this person did actually attempt to count them because:
Also included in the victims list is literally anything that died, no matter who killed them or when, we see some taxidermy animals at one point in a cabin, and it was not missed
Did the game kill these creatures too? I guess we'll never truly know.
And my personal favourite victims of this movie:
(yeah, this random low-budget gorefest of a movie just cuts to a documentary about manatees sometimes because...?)
#Movies#film#funny#my writing#horror#horror movies#if you like dumb low budget horror (and handle A LOT of gore) I'd actually recommend this one#the dialogue and acting is some of the worst I've ever seen but it actually has really good practical effects#and two pretty cool animated sequences#partner and I put it on to laugh at it and like#it is bad but after the first death happened and we realized how good the effects were we were kind of all in
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I'm thinking about Tumblr Live again and ruminating on WHY it's such a huge flop and I think I've figured it out: They've completely refused to make it a tumblr feature...
By which I mean (begrudgingly goes to unsnooze Tumblr live) this:
^This is meant with zero insult or derision to the people above, but these are absolutely not Tumblr users.
Every single thumbnail I've ever seen for Tumblr live seems to say "This is for clout!" "This is for a thirst trap!" "This is for influencers!" "This is for Tiktok wannabe stars!" "This is for showing your pretty filtered face and reaping what people on Instagram and Tiktok are desperately chasing!"
I'm remembering that Reddit has (or had) livestreams you could tune into like this. I've tapped into some. Ones I remember offhand include:
a guy just wandering around downtown in his city silently showing people the streets and stuff
a guy streaming his attempt to beat the last level of Celeste
a guy streaming his dog he was petting
And that, that was Reddit. That was undoubtedly just regular Reddit users going "oh stream feature? yeah okay. here's my dog." "here's my video game." "here's my street corner in Prague."
And when I think of all the recent successful Tumblr features, they're all things that correctly tapped into actual Tumblr user interests. Blaze had people go "haha yeah here's my dog." "here's my advertisement for a horse lawyer (lawyer who is a horse)." They let us buy crabs because, fuck it, crabs. The blue checkmarks were funny. Polls turned into the fandom brackets people have desperately wanted to make for a decade+. I'd wager the merch that calls on old Tumblr memes is at least decently successful.
If Tumblr Live wanted the chance to be successful, it should have been angled toward Tumblr users. "Here, you can livestream your cat if you want." "You can livestream yourself working on some fanart and chatting." "You can livestream yourself going bird watching because birds are your hyperfixation and you can identify them all by their song to all your followers who want to tune in for bird facts."
But Tumblr Live has never tried to be that. It ONLY seems like it wants to be a Tiktok-clone, Instagram-clone, clout-chaser baited-hook trying to pull converts over from Tiktok/Insta/etc who are trying to grow their influencer brand, which Tumblr is lethally hostile to.
(And ALL of this is only touching on the concept behind what's happening here. I haven't even touched on the third-party streaming service and questionable data protection.)
Like fine, I guess I get it from a business model of trying to grow your userbase--since catering to your existing userbase doesn't pull in new meat. But this will not work. Because anyone, tumblr-native or not, trying to grow themselves as an influencer will NOT find success here. This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. We will not watch your Shein haul stream.
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Heyyy. Ok really cheesy but I’d like to request a Logan x reader friends to lovers where it’s like an accidental confession. Maybe someone makes fun of the reader and Logan without thinking about it just starts yelling and defending why the reader is great and everything he loves about her? Ik it’s a little OOC but maybe he gets so mad (as Wolverine does) that he gets all mushy without realizing lol. Thanks ❤️❤️
lotus
while on library duty, Logan overhears two girls talking shit about you... and corrects it quickly.
CW: sorry i went in a little different direction, suggestive, profanity, takes place during the timeline of the og X-Men, these girls are bitches, etc.
"I just don't get what's the big deal about her," Maya scoffed, resting her cheek in her palm as she thoughtlessly flipped through her biology textbook.
Talia nodded, glancing up from her notes with an excitement that screamed nothing to do.
"No, seriously," she agreed. "Like we get it... you can grow shit. Big deal."
That piqued Logan's interest.
With Jean and Scott off on a date, the professor away, and you and Ororo teaching a joint class, he was slapped with library duty—watching the kids during their scheduled study period.
Now, originally, he planned on simply plopping himself down in a corner and puffing his cigar, hoping to fall asleep and just ride out his sentence.
And he was halfway there, too.
But just as he was about to catch some Zs, his hearing picked up on a conversation between two older girls who seemed to be trash talking his girlfriend.
"Word," Maya turned the next page, a grimace settling on her face when she noticed the image of a flower.
One you were very vocal about liking.
"She won't shut up about these stupid lotus flowers either... Hey! Did you guys know that the lotus is considered sacred in many Eastern cultures? And it often symbolizes purity, beauty, and rebirth!"
Talia let out an obnoxious snicker, the impression not nearly as funny as what she was making it to be.
But maybe she just hated you that much...
"You sound just like her," she commended, very much amused. "Only she's always smiling. Like I've never seen her frown before... it's almost creepy."
"Seriously creepy. But Peter can't get enough of it... you know he has a crush on her, right?"
"Seriously?!"
Logan let out a quiet chuckle, tickled by the news.
He'd caught the boy staring at you during a few Danger Room sessions, but didn't think much of it, assuming he'd just caught him while he happened to be looking in your direction.
Oh, how wrong he was...
He couldn't wait to tell you later tonight.
"Mhmm. Half the boys at school nearly fall over themselves to make sure they're not late to her class... It's almost funny."
"Funny, my ass. Why'd it have to be Peter?" Talia huffed, tossing her pencil at the textbook in frustration. "She's not even that pretty. I've had dogs that look better than her."
Maya attempted to muffle a snicker, but Logan heard it loud and clear, his brows furrowing at the horrible comment.
"I'm serious. She puts up this whole nice and innocent act, but I bet she's a raging bitch behind closed doors."
That was it.
All the stuff before was just normal, teenage jealousy; something he'd—albeit reluctantly—let slide.
But calling you out of your name?
Insulting your character?
Comparing you to a dog?
A line had to be drawn.
"Tali, you can't say that," Maya chuckled, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
"Like I care," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I'd tell it to her face if I ever got the chance. Just walk right up to her and say—"
"Say what?"
The girls nearly jumped out their skin, whipping around, only to be met by Logan's arched brow, the man leaning up against a bookshelf as he puffed on his cigar.
They were at a loss for words, unable to say anything under his imposing presence.
"Don't get shy now," he goaded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Go on. Tell me what you're gonna say to Dr. (l/n)."
The two were practically frozen, frantically glancing at each other for assistance, Logan's eyes flicking between the two expectantly.
"Nothing?" he hummed. "That's funny... 'cause you both seemed to have plenty of shit to say earlier."
Both their faces fell almost instantly, the color practically draining from Talia.
"You heard that?" Maya squeaked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Every word," Logan nodded. "And what I managed to gather from it was that you both just can't stand her because she's kind, passionate, pretty, and beloved."
He listed each trait off on his fingers, glancing at the two for confirmation.
"How's that? Am I in the ballpark?"
They remained silent, hanging their heads in embarrassment as Logan's confrontation had garnered the attention of the whole library.
"Well, then, how's this..." he pulled the cigar out his mouth. "I'll let you both off this time with a warning... but if I catch either of you trash talkin' anybody again, teacher or student, you're grounded."
"'Til when?" Talia asked, nervously.
"'Til I tell you you're not."
The end of day bell punctuated his statement, a flourish of shutting books and closing pencil cases muffling the girls' sighs of relief.
"Now get outta here."
He had never seen two students pack up so fast.
They were gone in T-minus ten, and once the library was cleared out, Logan allowed himself to sit down, letting out his own sigh.
He could've tore into them infinitely worse—and he honestly wanted to for that dog comment—but he figured that was the right, and legal, amount for a teacher.
But even still...
'I dunno how a girl who can only float two inches off the ground is talkin' about (n/n) havin' a shitty power...'
#james howlett#james howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#x men x reader#wolverine
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