#I've now been on the waitlist to see a psychiatrist for 3 years to the day

[thesoulofthebeautiful]

.

[the-ace-with-spades]

how I know GPs actually don't want to help their trans patients at all: my GP 'doesn't feel comfortable' prescribing me birth control

this is a rant but I'm so fucking tired and I need to let it out

I've been on waitlist for NHS GIC for over two years, estimated 7 more years, I went private after DIYing HRT on and off over a year ago. First, I heard from my GP that as long as the psychiatrist and endo also work for the NHS, we'll prescribe your T for you, then once you finish your 6-month review, we'll do that, and then actually, I want you to have reviews every 3 months and only then I'll prescribe it for you - which would be more expensive than just buying it with private prescription by over x100 (review is £150, private prescription for 3 months is less than £15 with postage and filling). "I'm not comfortable prescribing TRT to someone who is biologically female," is what she 'explained', and, "This is not what testosterone use was intended for and I'm not knowledgeable enough in what kind of side-effects it'll have on you to put my registration on the line." I could show her the fucking BNF and how masculinizing gender identity disorder therapy is literally right under low T levels for men, and she'd still turn the other way.

Now, see I'm a trans guy who still gets his periods. I wasn't too bothered about them, but it seems that it was because my E was too high (or got too high, it was alright on DIY and then on the legal T at first). My endo said she will prescribe me birth control that would work as an E blocker before we try typical blockers (mostly due to a history of early osteoporosis in my family)

The birth control in question is regularly prescribed to cis women that feel bad on the typical pill, in fact, my cousin is on it, and my endo said my GP should not have a problem prescribing it but she'll send a guideline anyway. It's a 3-monthly injection that needs to be administrated at the GP and can otherwise get expensive as a private prescription because you need to book the administration service as well (even tho I have a few colleague nurses who would do it for free for me or tho I'm technically allowed to administrate it, being a nurse myself).

I go to my GP with the guidelines from my endo added to the system and what does my GP say? "I don't feel comfortable prescribing this to you."

I ask why. She says it wasn't designed to act as an E blocker. I'm like, "You know it is birth control because it lowers estrogen production enough that the menstrual cycle doesn't proceed the way it's supposed to, right?" and basically give her a mini-lecture on how hormones operate the reproductive system because it's a fucking basic information. She says estrogen is needed for other functions as well and she's afraid it'll get too low on the injection, and like, yes, I know this --- something they taught me in fucking middle school --- but I have blood tests done every 3 months and my last said I have high estrogen by female ranges, not to mention male, so being too low is not even an option right now. She doesn't really say anything but, "I'll not prescribe it because I only feel comfortable prescribing it to women and I don't have enough knowledge to prescribe it to someone on testosterone."

So yes, I'm a woman to her when it suits her, or I'm not, if that suits her better.

[lesbiansupernatural]

Look, I don't believe in fate or any sort of higher power, but I do have one singular instance where I've been questioning it.

(TLDR: I got super lucky and randomly got a gp who had a lot of past experience with tourettes syndrome when I first developed symptoms)

When I was 13 I developed a very sudden and severe tic disorder (aka tourettes syndrome) so my mom took me to the doctor. I shared a gp with my mom cause that's just how it works where I live, but this particular day she was out sick, so I got a substitute. Said substitute did not actually work at the medical practice at this time, and was just filling in for a few days.

But it turns out that this doctor had previously worked in psychiatric care, specializing in youth with neurological condition, including tourettes. Aka, she had a lot of knowledge AND contacts.

(Side note, mental health care in norway is horrendous, especially if you're under 18, they are extremely understaffed and the waitlists are often over 6 months. And unfortunately these wait lists can be sped up if you just have someone on your side who calls them a lot and demands they see you sooner. This is very unfortunate for people who don't have a support system that can pull strings etc for them)

So the doctor put me on a pill that had shown some success in minimizing tics, so that I'd hopefully not give myself wiplash or any other lasting damage to my neck and spine, while waiting for a session with a specialist. (Said pill worked a lil bit but I still have lasting back issues from the intense tics 8 years later) She then immedeately referred me to a psychiatrist that specialized in tics and treating them.

Now, I was very lucky to have a SHORT waiting time, but it was still 3 months, and if you have hundreds of tics a day you can do some pretty intense damage to your body in 3 months, and the only reason I got in so fast was due to the doctor's contacts.

I had regular follow ups with said doctor, cause it turns out she was placed at that doctor's practice for an extended amount of time, and it just made sense that she would follow up on this particular case.

Once the treatment and stuff started to have an effect, the doctor had gotten a permanent possision at the practice and was sharing patients with another doctor to help lighten the load. So I could simply fill out a form and badabim badaboom she was my official gp (changing gps in norway is very dofficult, cause everyone's lists with the maximum amount of patients they can have is completely full, with a bunch waiting, and the only time a spot opens up is if someone dies, but I was really lucky as she was just getting started and basically had an empty list)

She is still my doctor to this day, and really great at what she does. And I'm extremely thankful for the fact that she was there that first day and that she had the possibility to follow up

[weathergirl8]

Mental Health & the Pandemic Toll

Hi Fam,

It's no literal secret I'm struggling over here. My mental health has taken a considerable tank over the last year and is swirling in the toilet right now. My list of OCD rituals are almost 3 pages long and I'm pretty sure that's not even all of them. I've had multiple anxiety attacks in the last few months, my most recent a few weeks ago during my shift at work. My depression has so many ups and downs its terrifying. One minute I'm decent happy and feel like myself, then another day I'm ready to take a knife to my wrist just to alleviate the pain I'm feeling. I haven't acted out on my thoughts for the record, but it has come frighteningly close.

As of today, I have applied for short term disability and intermittent FMLA. Which I don't know if it means the same thing for my Non-American peeps. For me, that means I've gone down to part time, working roughly 20-22 hours a week, while disability (60% of my salary) makes up for the other 20 hours of my 40 hour weeks. I can do this for up to 28 weeks in a rolling 12 month calendar year. The first 2 weeks, I have to use PTO or unpaid time before the disability kicks in. Fingers crossed I am approved and able to take this time I desperately need. It will allow me to take a step back and get my head on straight so I can access my doctors appointments. Financially this is terrifying, but I'm praying I can swing it.

I called today to see where I was at on a waiting list to see a new therapist and psychiatrist. I'm number 163 on the waitlist, and they are currently on 123. So, I've got a ways.... however, I was able to get an appointment with the psychiatrist on April 6th in the afternoon. Small blessings...

While I await the waiting list, I was able to establish myself with someone from an online service. We have our first virtual appt tomorrow afternoon. Here's to hoping it works well until I can see someone. I've completely cut myself from my previous therapist as she was doing me more harm than good. It was astounding.

I look at the differences in the pictures below and feel mournful for the person I was a year ago. She was optimistic and not burdened by the issues that I carry today. I've always struggled with depression, anxiety and OCD. However, never to this magnitude. My primary physician told me at my appt last Friday that I was in rough shape and she wanted to know how I was still functioning enough to not be in the hospital. Patients with cases as serious as mine she said have left them unable to function.

I don't have an answer for her.

This is an exhausting struggle that tears me down EVERY SINGLE DAY. I guess I'm too stubborn. I don't know. That's probably why I'm going on FMLA.

This pandemic has been so unkind and vicious. I know I am not alone in my struggle, even if it feels like I am sometimes.

Some day this all has to get better...

I have so many WIP to finish, I have junior college graduation in May that I want to attend and walk across that stage. I have the final 2 to 3 years of my meteorology degree to finish. I know I have things to live for and I know I am cared for. It's just hard to remember those things when your mind is poisoning you and telling you otherwise.

Mental health needs to be talked about and it needs to be more accessible for help. This process has been significantly compounded by the fact that good mental health resources are so hard to find in my situation. It shouldn't be that way.

[hidingmurklins]

BAD VIBES POST, PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING, I JUST NEED TO PUT THIS SOMEWHERE.

This summer job was supposed to help me afford to live but the stress from the whole car situation and being sick has drained me so much I can't focus on anything long enough to get all my hours in. My boss suggested keeping me on longer to make up for it, but I'm already getting off just a couple days before the annual family memorial gathering up north where we celebrate my dead dads birthday and I get a fucking break from this hellhole of a city.

We live in a city that has a severe lack physical or mental health care services of any kind (including a years long waitlist to see a psychiatrist or get a family doctor/nurse, weeks or longer to see a fucking "walk-in" doctor, and no more access at all to obstetricians or vets) during an addictions crisis, a housing crisis, and a plethora of other crises, while the local industry pumps noxious gas into the air to an extent that some days I can't see or breathe in my driveway as late as 11am. And we can't afford to move anywhere, including back North, because some assholes from the south (maybe even overseas) keep buying up properties, flipping them, and selling them for ridiculous prices that nobody around here can fucking afford. Even if we could afford it, that would mean abandoning my education and just taking what I can get for a job up there, which probably wouldn't afford us a decent quality of life anymore.

I asked my grandmother to take my car to a shop one day a month ago because for weeks we had known we had to either fix the wheel wells or get a new car and I simply didn't have the time. Instead she took my brother to spend my savings on a car that is older and rustier, that we just found out for sure I can never actually drive because where the rocker panels are supposed to be is completely rotted out and those are mandatory. I'm getting my money back from them, but in the meantime they've also sunk a large sum of money into it and it's still in my name, and the car I'm currently driving could lose its shocks at any moment because of how far the mounts have rotted.

Every day I wake up, have a coughing fit, work for 3 hours, then pass out and panic until I have an hour to myself in the evening after dinner. But that moment doesn't come now because my grandpa injured one hand and the other elbow faceplanting in the driveway and can't do anything for himself. So I just panic until I dissociate to tiktoks long enough to fall asleep.

I have court this Friday where I'm supposed to update them on my mental health status and how well I'm keeping up with my listed supports, but I am not in contact with anyone except one of them very 2 weeks because none of the others have called me back in over 2 years except my family doctor who I only hear from every few months and can rarely get a hold of otherwise. She just wants to prescribe me a new med that is going to put me through potentially debilitating side effects, and nasty withdrawal symptoms if I happen to miss a dose, while doing nothing about my actual problems or the skills I need to cope with them. So I said not until I get some therapy, but we have 6 weeks to figure out this diversion stuff while the waitlist to see a fucking therapist is 6 months.

If I go to prison, my 7-year-old daughter will be stuck with her dad whose coping skills and ability access to resources are worse than mine, and I don't trust any of my family to help raise her because they did a fucking terrible job with me and she deserves better. I also don't want her stuck in the foster system, because that's worse. I need to be around to keep her safe and surround her with other safe people like the grandma's and aunties I've been connecting with through my job and school events. If I'm not around, there is nobody but my mom who might do that, but my stepdad comes with her and I can't stand the thought of what my kid might go through being around him. So I've potentially saved her from one bad situation only to throw her into a worse one with even less support.

I am in fucking agony. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't afford to check myself into psych (if there's even room for me, I might sleep in emerg for days before they kick someone out to let me in), but that's the only way I can think of to get me on the fast-track to see one of the only psychs we have.