hidingmurklins

[hidingmurklins]

i won’t be able to write from the grave by Fanny Howe

[hidingmurklins]

[hidingmurklins]

I didn't know how best to break the news. We were talking about Christmas gifts and he asked what size T-shirt I am. I said better make it an extra large, and after a brief pause mentioned that I needed to talk to the doctor. "Why, what's up?" he asked. So I told him that I took a pregnancy test out of habit/caution and it turned out positive "so I'd better get that checked out". I was too nervous to watch him, so I focused on the dog. We were quiet for a minute, then he asked if I was okay, and gave me a hug. He's always so gentle with me. Throughout the rest of the evening and the next day he seemed a bit giddier than usual, smiling and making eye contact and touching me more than usual, and every time reminding me with words that he loves me. I knew better than to expect anything less than a favorable response.

[hidingmurklins]

I know this happens and it looks suspicious but

this image? we have every reason to think it is a cucumber, like it was made in clay models in burials period, it's painted green, it's on the small side of things (9.6 cm or 3 3/4 inch)

oh right and it was placed on a model offering table with small model bread and drinking cup

sometimes a cucumber really is a cucumber.

[hidingmurklins]

how i go to sleep knowing i’m deeply and profoundly loved and everything is going to be okay in the imperfect yet beautiful way that all of life can only ever hope to be

[hidingmurklins]

[hidingmurklins]

autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.

[hidingmurklins]

I took a cautionary pregnancy test because my expexted period was like 2 days of spotting. My daughter and grandmother were lurking and I didn't want either of them to see, so I put it capped under my pillow for a minute or two (the test said wait 3 minutes to read). I accidently knocked my pillow off it and immediately started trembling upon seeing the very positive result. My immediate response was excitement, not shock or fear, so that's nice. But now I'm thinking about how my partner is going to react. I'm going to stop thinking of reasons for him to be unhappy about the situation because I might be making myself suffer for nothing. But tomorrow is the day before xmas eve so idk when the doctors office will be open to schedule an ultrasound to confirm it's a fetus and not an ovarian cyst or something. So that's going to be slowly killing me until I figure it out.

[hidingmurklins]

Years ago I went to register my dog at the local Humane Society after getting her spayed. They asked what breed she was and I said some kind of spaniel mix. The lady looked at her and selected "German Shepherd" presumably because of her coloring. She's like 1/3 of a German Shepherd in size.

"This is my cattle dog"

Did you mean your rat terrier or fox terrier mix?

"This is my German shepherd"

Did you mean your brindle bully breed mix?

"This is my maine coon"

Did you mean your morbidly obese long haired tabby?

Wonder what else we're going to get...

[hidingmurklins]

let's recap what we've learned about the United States in the last few days.

things that are terrorism:

allegedly shooting a healthcare CEO whose company generated more pure profit (not revenue, profit) in a year than the GDP of 94 countries, exclusively by denying coverage to people who pay for it

a 42-year-old mother of 2 using the wrong combination of 7 words during a heated conversation with a call center employee at a health insurance company who was in the process of denying her health coverage.

things that are not terrorism:

mass shooting in a Black church to incite a race war

going to a BLM protest specifically to kill protestors

a neo-nazi running over a crowd of people, killing a woman

targeting and killing 23 latinos in an el paso, texas walmart

killing 12 people in a theatre, shooting 58 others, rigging your apartment with explosives

a QAnon groyper killing 7 and shooting ~50 at a 4th of July parade

killing 3 people and shooting several others at a Planned Parenthood in defense of the unborn

stalking someone relentlessly and then killing them and their child despite months of the victim making police reports

any one of the 1,200 murders committed by US police yearly, the vast majority being minorities

tightening your border while ~100 immigrants (including children) drown every year in the Rio Grande

United Healthcare killing an unnknowable number of elderly people by using faulty AI to deny medically necessary coverage

Aetna killing a woman by refusing to cover her cancer care

Blue Cross killing a 6-year-old by denying her appendicitis surgery

Cigna killing a 17-year-old child by denying her liver transplant

the pharmaceutical industry killing half a million people with opioids in the name of producing revenues in 2023 that rivaled the GDPs of countries like Spain, Mexico, and Australia.

the United States killing 45,000 people a year because they can't access health coverage

make sure you keep this guide handy the next time you find yourself interacting with your insurance company or any other millionaire, billionaire, or an individual who is part of a protected class such as a CEO or president of a corporation.

[hidingmurklins]

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

[hidingmurklins]

wheres seasons greasons

[hidingmurklins]

[hidingmurklins]

"we don't have girl talk, we have creature talk," my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, "put that on your fucking tumblr, they'll love that shit"

[hidingmurklins]

tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

[hidingmurklins]

"The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it."

poem by Mikko Harvey

[hidingmurklins]

The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'