#I've never been able to get something that good in my life

[lorbanery]

Oh! We were just catching up on "Um, Actually" last night on Dropout and they did a second episode of all kids media trivia, and one of the contestants reminded me of the episode that is one of the most obviously written For The Parents, "Baby Race".

The episode is Chilli telling the story of how Bluey learned to walk, so we flash back to baby Bluey rolling over earlier than the literature says to expect it (this is an actual milestone for babies, have the muscle strength, coordination, and spacial reasoning to be able to roll over onto their back or stomach on their own). Chilli gets very cocky about Bluey rolling over so early, especially with everyone around her being all "Oh my goodness I've NEVER heard of a baby rolling over THAT early!".

Cut to her mother's group and in the middle of getting more praise about Bluey rolling over really early, Judo's mother, Wendy, exclaims excitedly that baby Judo is sitting! Again, another real life milestone, being able to sit up on their own without falling over.

Chilli gets kinda jealous and spends some time trying to get Bluey to sit up too, and as soon as Bluey can, they get to the mothers group only discover that Judo is crawling.

Chilli gets kinda jealous and spends some time trying to get Bluey to crawl. It doesn't work, Bluey finds other ways to get around. Chilli worries that there might be something wrong with Bluey so takes her to the doctor, who reassures her that Bluey's fine.

But Chilli's gotten how quickly Bluey's hitting these milestones all tangled up in her head with how good of a parent she is. So every time Judo hits a new milestone and Bluey doesn't, or every time Bluey sort of hits a milestone sideways (she eventually crawls, but only crawls backwards, which is also real! Our kid pretty much only crawled backwards until they were able to walk), she gets worried she's doing something wrong and checks in with her doctor again.

Eventually Judo takes her first steps before Bluey has even started crawling forwards, and Chilli takes it so hard that she stops going to the mothers group. She started off thinking she was doing so well as a parent, only to see someone else she perceived as doing better than her, and every shred of confidence she had just crumbled. She must have been doing something wrong, because her kid seemingly stalled out on hitting those milestones, or at least slowed down, and of course development is perfectly linear and those age guidelines are set in stone and not a general rough guide about the oldest age to expect the milestone to happen, right?

So one of the other mothers, Bella, notices that Chilli isn't at the mothers group and, concerned, comes over to check in on Chilli. Chilli admits to her that it just feels like she's been doing everything wrong. Bella shows Chilli a photo of her family, which surprises Chilli. Most of the mothers in the group are new parents like Chilli, because of course those are the parents who are most likely to need the support of a group like that, and it's good for kids who don't have siblings at home to socialize with. It turns out, though, that Bella has nine kids, including Coco, the baby she brings to the group.

Bella sets a hand on Chilli's shoulder and tells her seriously, "I've got something to tell you." Chilli asks "What?" already feeling really self-loathing about her own parenting skills and wary about what this person who has so much more experience parenting is going to tell her. But Bella just smiles and tells her, "You're doing great." And Chilli breaks down in tears and they hug.

And if that wasn't enough to make you tear up as a parent, the episode actually ends with Bingo asking if Bluey ever learned how to walk (because she's four and it's hard at that age to connect A to C). And as Chilli answers, "Yes! In the kitchen, actually," we flash back one more time to the moment Bluey took her first steps, crawling backwards into the kitchen and seeing Chilli working at the counter. "The kitchen?! Why in the kitchen?!" Bluey exclaims as baby Bluey starts pulling herself up on a cabinet. "I don't know!" Chilli laughs. As baby Bluey starts taking her first shaky steps, the camera switches to Bluey's POV, looking up at her mom, and we hear Bingo suggest, "Maybe you saw something that you wanted." Then Chilli turns and we see her shocked smile as she sees Bluey walking towards her.

There is so much genuine sincerity packed into that show. And that is why parents love it so much.

In Australia we have this cartoon for toddlers called Bluey. It's very good, models positive family relationships well and teaches good practical and emotional lessons to very young kids. But what I have recently learned on youtube is that Americans are OBSESSED with it. Why. This might be the most interested the US has been in Aussie tv since Neighbours.

[sylus-doll]

Synopsis: Sylus has always lived a lonely life, unfamiliar with pleasant company. Being with you again is something he must get used to. He's learning how to, and so are you.

Warnings: Lowkey doesn't make sense because the author is exhausted but wanted to churn something out for you guys. Also mentions of blood. Might be a little angsty.

Author's note: I've gotten busy recently, so I won't be able to write as often. Sorry! I come bearing lowkey dependant Sylus. Comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

Throughout his life, Sylus has spent all his time alone. No one would count enemies as company, even if they do trail him and keep an eye on his every move. They were the ones who wanted to see him fall off his throne; cause and spectate his suffering. A walking target. Sure, he had Mephisto and the twins he took under his wing... But could a mechanical bird count as a friend? Or a pair of twins who work directly under him, following his commands? No, that is obedience.

Sylus did not have anyone to call his own. No one to trade secrets with or share his warmth. And in turn it has made him cold, self-reliant, for he cannot trust in another person. He had never learned how. But he takes comfort in the teachings he does know— the ones of his only love. Melodies dance in the air, a comforting tune. He attempts to hum along, taking pride in the fact that he is able to unlike the past. A respite he is allowed to have in this harsh world.

When the both of you are reunited— albeit, unknowingly on your part— Sylus is at a loss. He had thought that you, too, would remember the past just as he did. Yet you stare into his eyes with the guarded malice of a stranger. It is a gaze he should be used to by now. And he is... Just not from you. Where has his beloved's familiar softness gone? Only your fierce claws and teeth remain. Sylus does not know how to fix this. He was never taught to build relationships or tenderly lower defenses with the patience of a saint.

Your relationship is rocky at first; like oil and water. Both of your lives are completely different from the other. With the Hunter Association actively hunting down Sylus, whatever you have with him is illegal. Forbidden. Although... Surely they would not mind if you stuck around? Gathering intel for them could be useful in the future. This is fine, you are simply using him, you are not delusional. Humans have always desired for what they cannot have.

“You're sticking around for intel on Onychinus? Well then, be my guest. Don't be shy when using me.” Sylus's sardonic smile is etched into your mind.

He tells no one that being of use to you is the only way he knows how to keep you close to him.

Be disgusted, you will yourself. Be repulsed, resent him for all he has done and will do. You will only come to regret being so entangled with his life. This is insane and you are supposed to be a good, law-abiding citizen of Linkon. A hunter. Yet you cannot help feeling like prey— engulfed by a predator who kills and comes back to you with blood soaked hands. Most times, even his own. How will you ever learn to hate someone who learned to be vulnerable with you?

Over time, you start to notice that Sylus is quite... lonely. You are the only one who checks up on him, through text or call. The only one who visits, who teases and jokes, who surprises. You, you, you. Comfortable and happy with someone so dangerous. So of course he eventually craves your presence in your absence. Sylus will make up whatever excuse, put himself in any situation, just to be able to spend some time with you. When it ends, he is distraught.

“You're abandoning me when I'm no longer useful to you? Your skill in being heartless is assuring.” His tone is teasing, as always. But his eyes hold a far-off melancholy.

It feels as though your heart has been punctured with shattered pieces of a fragile thing.

“Abandon? You're sorely mistaken. Useful or not, you're stuck with me, you have no other choice.” You reach out, grabbing his hand.

Something new for Sylus to learn; that you will not throw him away when he does not serve any purpose to you. You are his companion— his beloved who cares for and loves him. Not because you owe him or as an obligation. Simply because you do. And you are both still learning. It will be okay. Having each other means neither of you will ever have to face the cruelties of this world alone.

[11queensupreme11]

What would Cú Chulainn do if Percy actually DOES fall in love with a mortal when she’s in Midgard

i'm assuming this is about the cheating au, which would mean cú chulainn's a god in this scenario and OHHHHHHHH MY GOD........

pissing off cú chulainn back when he was a demigod was already bad enough (dude was a menace), but when he's an almighty GOD????? that could literally ruin lives with just a single THOUGHT???????

😭😭😭 rip to the mortal man

(i think i might actually write about this way later btw lol)

percy, to her credit, knows damn well that she can NOT get attached to this man she met in midgard, that would put him in danger. so she pines from afar, but let's say she goes back home to valhalla after her lil break. she goes back to her motherly and wifely duties, but cú chulainn, who's become 1000000x more hyper-focused and loving to her then usual since he learned his lesson, starts to notice her attention lingering. she's more distracted than usual.

and so he looks to see where her Sight has been focused on lately!

(and btw, when i say "Sight" with a capital S, i don't mean she's physically looking at something. gods are omniscient to a degree, they can literally see wherever and whatever they want regardless of where they're at. i've explained this several times throughout the fic, but i'm just putting this here in case some forgot cuz its been a while since i brought it up 😅)

so he looks to see where his dear wife's attention has been at and oh. it's towards some mortal man. and she wasn't just gazing down on him, but subtly helping him from afar as well. school debt? gone. hospital bills? gone. that job interview he's been waiting to hear back from? he got the call and he got the job! his little siblings' school is suddenly able to afford free school lunch for all. his parents were given huge bonuses in their salary that could make them eligible for a comfy retirement years early! this man's life and the lives of his family has become nice and safe thanks to cú chulainn's sweet lil wife 💖💖💖

but cú chulainn fucking sees RED. he's seething with jealousy and also the dawning realization that this human man was a threat. because he knows his wife has a soft spot for humanity, that she even preferred their company over her fellow gods. percy's straying affections are a horrible reminder of his own infidelity -- an infidelity that he regrets because it led to his beloved wife temporarily leaving him for a few years. he can't let this man live, can't run the risk of losing percy again.

demigod cú chulainn would've went down to midgard to rip the man to shreds, and then kill him again once his spirit gets to valhalla, and then he'd be done with it.

but as an omnipotent god with unlimited power??? he's so much more crueler than he was as a demigod. if you remember my previous post about what sort of domains i'd give him (here), god of WAR would be one of them.

he doesn't even need to do much. he just needs to think of it and everything falls into place right then and there.

one night, the mortal man falls into a good sleep and when he wakes up the next morning, it's to the news that the US president has declared war with another superpower country. that same day, he'll get a letter in his mail saying he's been drafted. he doesn't have the money to be a draft dodger and he's in peak health, so he doesn't have a choice. he has to leave his family, give up on his career, all to fight in a war he never wanted.

and cú chulainn makes sure this war would be the worst war to ever occur in all of human history. and he makes sure the human lives through every grisly second of it. he exposes him to the worst of the worst, gives him un-ending trauma that he could never recover from. he makes this war drag on for years, decades even, all to make sure that the only thing this man knows is death and pain. he'll make sure to shatter this human's mind, make him a former shell of the man percy once knew and loved. he's going to ruin him for daring to try and steal percy's attention.

he'll make this war drive him to the brink of insanity until he finally kills himself, and even then his agony won't end because cú chulainn's already waiting for him in the afterlife.

[atimeofyourlife]

My place, your place, our place

@bucktommyfluffebruary day 9: moving in together | rated: g | wc: 666 | ao3 Buck gets ready to leave the loft for the final time

It had been a long day. Week. Weeks. For such a small space, the loft had been something of a nightmare to pack up for the move. All of his belongings seemed to multiply, needing far more boxes to pack everything into than he had been expecting. Every time he had thought he was done with an area, he would turn around and find more stuff to pack.

He could have sworn it hadn't been that difficult to move in, but then he remembered it was very different circumstances. He'd never had a place of his own before the loft. Hadn't really had stable housing from when he'd left home. Years of being on the road, sometimes in the jeep, sometimes in a motel, or in a house share with people he didn't know. Occasionally in provided accommodation like when he worked on the ranch, or when he tried out for the SEALs. It taught him to live light, consolidating most of his belongings into a pair of gym bags. Even for his first years in LA, first in the frat house with Connor and the guys, then Abby's place. Then crashing on Chimney's couch before moving on to Maddie's place. It never made sense to have much stuff.

But the loft was his space. He didn't need to be so strict about living light. He could buy things just because and not have to worry about it taking up space. He could do what he wanted to make the space feel like home.

Now, everything was boxed up. Most of it had already been moved to Tommy's, now their, place. Just the last few boxes to take out, before doing the final sweep. And final final sweep. Then it would be time for him to turn in his keys at the leasing office. And that would be the chapter of his life at the loft over.

It was kind of bittersweet. Giving up the first place he'd been able to call his own. Leaving behind the place where so many memories had been made over six years he'd lived there. Some good, some bad, some just neutral. A space where he'd fallen in and out of love. Where he'd recovered from the worst injuries the job could throw at him. Where he'd watched Jee grow up, one babysitting session at a time. A place that had seen just about every emotion he could ever experience, happiness, anger, depression, joy, fear.

He and Tommy did the final walk through together, checking every closet, every shelf. Every nook and cranny for anything he might have missed. Closing the door for the last time felt far heavier than it should.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked as Buck locked up.

"Yeah. It's just. I'm gonna miss this place." Buck replied. "This is the longest I've live somewhere since the house I grew up in."

"You did make a lot of memories here. We made a lot of memories here."

Tommy coming over to clear the air about Eddie, then making a move on Buck, completely turning his worldview on it's head. Eddie telling Buck to call Tommy after that disastrous first date. Bringing him home after Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Tommy being half asleep against his shoulder still in his turnouts. So many dates. Tommy staying to take care of him after he dislocated his shoulder. The break up. Tommy coming over to apologize only for it to turn into them shouting at each other, getting out all of the pent up emotions, followed by them sitting down and having an actual adult talk about everything, and deciding to try again, slower this time. The first 'I love you'. Tommy asking him to move into his place when he saw the letter that had come through about renewing the lease.

"We did. Let's go make even more in our house." Buck held his hand out to Tommy and they walked away from the loft together for the final time.

[girlwith15cents]

Oversharing on the internet about ADHD

I've been trying to write this post for awhile now. It relates to my previous post about mental disabilities. But it's proving difficult cause it keeps sounding too pathetic, but that's kinda the point.

I, in my present, have an idea of who I am. My interests, how I act, how I dress, who I associate with, my gender expression. These are all observable things. Ways that other people can form opinions on me. These are, by most means, who I am.

However, who I want to be is pretty drastically separate from that. I know a version of me that I can try and project but will always fall short of. I want to learn and enjoy makeup. I want a larger wardrobe of clothes that I genuinely like. I want to learn an instrument. I want to get into streaming games for fun. I want to be able to take my friends out to dinner and buy them gifts and go around the city with them. I have so many ideas for tattoos and I have piercings I want to get. There are so many things I want and yet cannot have and have no real avenue to get.

The reason I cannot reach for these (very reasonable) things is because of my lack of capital and personal agency. Extremely debilitating executive dysfunction has stripped me of any milestones of adulthood someone of my age might be seeing. I've never been able to hold a job without growing deeply suicidal due to the effort required. Hobbies cost money. Rent costs money. Expressions of the self cost money. I have always had to exist within the confines of someone else's generosity to take care of me. It has stripped me of opportunities to grow as a person. It has made me less and less who I want to be and more who I am.

All too often because of this people don't take me seriously. Financial burden that I am, I have learned to make myself small better than any other skill. I choke up when asked to assert my wants. I put others first. I'm quiet and guarded. Any strive to make myself the person I want to be feels deeply embarrassing. Like a child who is convinced they're something they aren't. So people who meet me see the child. They see the loser who won't take steps towards employment because they're lazy. They see the girl who orbits a social group but never belongs. They see a nice girl who has far less desirable qualities than the other candidate for this job position. It hurts so fucking bad to be condescended to without any ability to rebut it.

So when does it end? When I find work that won't end up being the death of me? When our government wises up and pushes for UBI or expands upon disability payments? When they invent adderal that doesn't have a million side effects? When I get sick of it and give up? There's no real end in sight, and every time ADHD gets laughed at as a pop-psych joke it gets further away. Am I doomed to be a child forever? When will I see the respect I know I deserve?

And sure, pathologizing behavior is 'bad'. Maybe the answer to all my woes is to grit my teeth harder than I already have been my entire life. Maybe the real reason I see no forward movement is because I'm projecting my own helplessness. But can't it be a little easier? Everyone else is having a rough time, but at least they're having a time. The behavior I exhibit is very normal to neurotypical people on a bad day, but it makes up my entire existence. And it sure feels a hell of a lot more severe than someone having a day of bad focus.

The fucked up thing about it is that I like me. The present me and the me I want to be. We both have so much to offer. We're both one of the best friends you've ever had. We both have skills and qualities that make us very likeable people. But these qualities have little to no monetary value. Any way that I could monetize it would also require investment. Investment that I cannot make without agency. So I'm stuck as a vague bundle of good qualities and talents that everyone sees so much potential in and is eagerly awaiting a moment where I channel it somewhere. A moment that will never occur without agency.

[blackcatxmagic]

Kai was easy to talk to. That much became clear very early in their conversation, and Copper relaxed, no longer fearing that he was going to judge him for his lack of home repair expertise. And there was something soft and kind about the handsome man too that further put him at ease. Smiling as Kai talked about this El person, Copper replied, "I understand what you mean. Family isn't always blood." While he didn't know the exact situation between Kai and El, Copper explained, "I'm adopted, so I am not related by blood to a single member of my family. But they're my family regardless, you know? And back in Maine, I had a lot of friends who were as good as family too." Here in Cardinal Hill though, Copper lived a more solitary life, and he frowned a little, a sense of loneliness coming over him. He was carving out a place here, and he had friends, sure, people he was becoming close to. But it wasn't the same, not yet, and it probably never would be because there would always be someone he'd never be able to replace - even if he wanted to. "And where did you two come from?" Copper asked. "I bet it's nice staying together even through a move. It probably makes starting fresh seem less daunting."

Speaking of daunting, that's how the task of the home repair projects Copper needed to do would have felt were it not for Kai's kind offer of help. "Shit, you'd be such a lifesaver," Copper replied, feeling immensely grateful to the man for his offer. Thank God for kind people in this world. His smile had returned to his face, and Copper told Kai, "Pizza and beer - or alternatively some non-alcoholic beverage - are on me. This is really awesome of you." Although he'd immediately liked Kai, Copper liked the guy even more now. "I actually do know what we need," Copper told Kai, "at least some of the things, like the kind of hinges." He had known just enough about home repair to take down this information, and he handed Kai the small list he'd made. "I don't know if that's everything, but it's what I have." Still so appreciative of Kai's offer, Copper asked, "When would you like to come? I make my own schedule, so I can make anything work."

Eyebrows raised as Kai spoke, Copper smiled and said, "I live in Upper Cardinal too! And I think I know which Victorian you're talking about. It's actually not too far from where I live." If it was the one that Copper was thinking of, it was less than a mile away from his house. That would make this easier for Kai. "I can't attest to the fishing, since I've never been, or the state of the lake in the summer, since I arrived here at the tail end of it, but it's damn beautiful," Copper told the man. "I think you'll love it." It felt like such good fortune to have run into Kai today, and despite the fact that he still barely knew him, Copper found he was looking forward to the man coming to his house so he could get to know him better. He grabbed the list he'd given to Kai and asked to borrow his pencil, and then Copper wrote down a phone number. "This is me," he told Kai, handing both items back to the man.

Kai found himself relaxing more as they talked, Copper's friendly demeanor making it easier to maintain conversation. His hand dropped from the pencil perch to rest on the workbench, fingers drumming lightly against the worn wood.

"Elizabeth ... El," he clarified, voice still quiet but steadier now. "We moved here together." His brow furrowed slightly, realizing how that might sound. "Not like- we're not..." He trailed off, frustrated with his sudden inability to explain. "She's family. Sort of. But not..." He exhaled, starting over. "We grew up together." That felt closer to the truth, even if it didn't capture the whole story. A story he wasn't ready to share with a stranger, even one as approachable as Copper.

Relief washed over him when Copper accepted his offer of help, glad the suggestion hadn't seemed too forward. "After work would work. Or weekends," he suggested, considering his schedule. His eyes drifted to the cabinet hardware display nearby, mentally cataloging what additional supplies they might need. "Should check what kind of hinges you have first. Might need different screws." He pulled out his notepad from his back pocket, the pages dog-eared and marked with various measurements and sketches. "Could write down what to look for?"

Addressing Copper's question about moving to Cardinal Hill, he replied, "Needed a change. Found a house that needed work." His lips quirked slightly. "A lot of work. Victorian in Upper Cardinal." He absently sketched a basic hinge diagram as he spoke. "Good bones though. Worth saving." His eyes brightened slightly as he continued, "The garage is perfect for building too. Working on a canoe for Glasswater Lake this summer." His fingers traced the edge of his notepad where several boat sketches were visible. "Heard the fishing's good in summer."

[illitten]

.

[deoidesign]

.

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[earl-grey-crow]

.

[asvidema]

i'll take a moment to thank, from the bottom of the heart, all the friends and the people i don't even follow for leaving tags on my art. special shoutouts to those who share thoughts about it and compliment my designs. you have no idea how much that means to me

[medicinemane]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy

You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing

I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know

Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards

...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said

Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes

[fabcreature]

right at the beginning of music school is actually a fantastic time to think "really when was the last time making music or working with music made me happy?"

[burningcomputerpersona]

i think i liked myself better when i didn't care about other people's opinions

[sepiasys]

I'm so scares of the volunteer roles due to lack of confidence 🫠

So the food serving thingy has two roles: cooking/prepping food, and writing orders and keeping track of who got food.

The first I'm not very confident in but would like to try eventually. The second one is compared to another kind of volunteer role, which is greeting ppls at the food bank and maybe serving stuff if requested and just helping ppl out in front of the building/outside. It says strong customer service skills are necessary for the role as well as being able to work with a diverse amount of ppl 🥺

And I would wanna do that if it's similar to the other one if it'll help me out, since the food serving thing is only two other ppl helping out the manager. But I have no experience with customer service and my social skills are SHOT! Also de-escalation and understanding of trauma are mentioned as helpful for the role 🥲 Idk if I'm good with de-escalation, best I could do was my family and even then they RLLY liked to NOT LISTEN to me when I gave em advice to calm down (like separating physically while they were both pissed off--I swear mom was rlly immature about it when I was trying to help my bro because HE IS A CHILD!!). And trauma. I mean I have *experience* but do I know how to handle **others** with trauma? No, no not rlly 🥲

Hhhhhh telling myself I just need to jump into it. Doesn't help that I watched a bartending video thing. Sink or swim. I'm so scared of sinking ;-; I'm scared of if they see me as pathetic and useless despite it being a volunteer thing!!

Fuck I just need to like. Work on the days that they're not serving ppl, not open to the public. So 3 specific days. And then I need to go from that to working on days that ARE busy, but I'm still not interacting with the public public yet. And then I need to ease into working with the public via the front of house roles. And then I can do whatever I want at that point ig-

God I want to start doing stuff now but I can't because I haven't been told if I need to do anything specific 🥺 I have shifts scheduled for after the event, bc it's in a week, and that's for the one role I feel like is probably rlly easy? Probably? And I just. Hhhh. The most info I have actually comes from a training video for a semi-unrelated role, bc it shows what I assume is made/left by the role I signed up for?

Hhhhh a lot. A lot is going on rn. A lot of serious planning and preparation and I'm trying really hard to not be a tight little ball of rubber bands (incredibly stressed out) about it. But it's hard not to. Especially when half of my stress comes from my roommate(s).

Fuck I just. Need to wait. Because that's what EVERYONE says. That things take time. I just need to wait for the time to do these things. Wait.

As if that hasn't been detrimental to me my entire life.

[twerkyvulture]

im the guy who just realized that when you're doing something, it eases the pain of not doing everything